Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 590 - Dino Archie

Episode Date: July 9, 2019

Comedian Dino Archie returns to talk death metal, wallets, and Cape Breton.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 590 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man... What can I say about this man that hasn't already been said? You've been saying stuff about me for years.

He's always fresh as a daisy. Mr. Dave Shumka. Daisy fresh. Well, I'm getting my exfoliating schedule down oh good yeah yeah yeah yeah i do it twice a week now twice a week pharrell exfoliates every day what oh boy yeah it'd be nice yeah it would be you know how much that stuff costs do you use the little brush little brushes you go all over your face no i just use a uh little plastic microbeads they've been uh but you can still get them they're illegal but i know a guy i make my own microbeads i grind up

old gi joes and just rub them on the face in a little bit like some mayonnaise craft microbeads you're breaking into the craft microbe yeah underground black market yeah yeah russian craft um and uh our guest today that that voice you're hearing a very funny comedian has a new comedy album out called i've changed and you can also if you're in montreal you can see him at the just for laughs comedy festival this summer where you can also, if you're in Montreal, you can see him at the Just for Laughs Comedy Festival this summer where you can also see us. Yes. It's going to be a party, man.

Yeah, it's going to be a party. Also, one more thing we promoted at the end of last week's episode. We should promote it off the top. New t-shirts with our logo. Finally, a t-shirt with the show's logo. Yeah. And let me tell you guys something. If you don't buy them Right away

I'm buying all of them Yeah Dino's got a big stack of cash That he won't stop showing off I'm burning a hole in my pocket So I'm going to buy all of them Head to Max And resell

Maxfundstore.com If Dino wants these so badly He'll talk over me Promoting the website Maxfundstore.com Should we get to know us? Oh, yeah. Oh, did we say Dino's name?

Dino Archie. Let's get to know us. Get to know us. Dino, thank you so much for coming back on the podcast. Hey, man, I've been trying to get back on this for years.

Yeah. We've been throwing up walls at every turn. Oh, no, talk to us. You got to talk to our manager. Yeah. We've been throwing up walls at every turn. Oh, no. You got to talk to our manager. Yeah. I'm going to do like a motivational tape

of how to get to you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Never give up. Don't sleep. No, no. Sleep is the enemy. It's bad.

Don't drink any water. Do you ever read those like the millionaire mindset or whatever? Yeah. What are they? They're monsters. Is it don't drink water?

It is exactly like don't sleep, don't return personal phone calls. Yeah, they go, don't love anyone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just make money. Yeah. And be a monster, man. That's pretty much what they're telling you. Be a monster, man.

Be the monster, man. Yeah. That's why Bobby Bor Boris Pickett's so rich um I sorry please there's one

they do this meme where they do it they'll show uh the guy who did Facebook that nerd Mark Zuckerberg

Zuckerberg that propped up that propped up nerd I don't even know if he's a real guy they'll show no one's ever seen him

and then they'll show bill gates like hanging out and they'll go look at this look at this you know regular belt 12 bucks right new balances 10 you know you're like no not one designer out like these bills like if you don't dress fly yeah you're gonna be a billionaire yeah like that's the step i didn't see a thing about how all of mark zuckerberg the facebook nerd that's that's what his uh bumper sticker says i'm mark zuckerberg the facebook nerd and i'm here to sell you social um and i saw an article about how his his closet is filled with custom cashmere hoodies

okay that are all like twelve hundred dollars he leveled up that's good yeah but he looks like he still looks

not fresh he does not he not no bit of drip to him yeah I guess there aren't like cause even like Jeff Bezos

he just wears like a regular suit I would wear like a crazy like likeff bezos he just wears like a regular suit i would wear like a crazy like like a deep v with shoulder pads like right i am bezos you will kneel before bezos if he dripped down he would be like panels yes he would be yeah he'd have the infinity stones yeah or bill gates would have just a not like not me, I don't, but yeah, like a meek, a rare animal. PETA doesn't even know, so they can't even get mad. Oh, yeah, like just a rare, rare animal.

Like a cape. Yeah, a cape. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and drip down. But they don't do that because they don't know how to dress because they're billionaires. They can't have both. But is it because nobody around them says you know you could you could put on a nice coat or something i think bezos bezos is uh

he's he's swole now he's sorry he's he's a swole ceo swoleo swole executive officer and he he is BFO so he's got BFD he's got a he's more tight tight stuff now

yeah but he's also the only like he's a very prominent bald yep and that really doesn't

that really lends itself to the whole super villain yeah yeah that's kind of around his name is bezos too bezos yeah yeah that sounds like a super villain it does it sounds like something superman would fight he would fight bezos yeah is um who's the most stylish uh like a rich nerd is it elon musk does he yeah it's probably where to a grimes concert something silver you know like he he's not he's not afraid of wearing something flashy i feel like no like but i feel

like it would be he's too meme conscious he would be wearing something as a joke yeah i don't know yeah there's not a lot of flies billionaire cfs. But there's also like, you know, these weird guys that you never, you don't know who they are until they marry somebody like Selma Hayek or something. And you're like, oh, okay, this billionaire that owns a yacht and has beautiful Italian suits. Yeah. He's from the family that owns wine, like every, just the first wine. You know, like the burgundy family the family that owns burgundy like they own the color like the family that will own the color yeah man that's some old money they get a cut every time i buy a burgundy pair of pants anything burgundy they get

that yeah they'll be like they hang out in monte Monte Carlo a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like. There's that whole European flex. Yeah, like old money. Yeah, because right now we're talking like the Count of Monte Cristo. Yeah. Now we're talking about the last fly billionaire. What's the count with the cape?

Did you see them with the 2002 version? Yeah. Yeah. That's Steph Curry's favorite movie. Hey, that's my top five. Is it? Yeah. Yeah. That's Steph Curry's favorite movie. Dude, I, Hey, that's my top five. Is it?

Yeah. Cause he comes down. I'm yelling now. I'm getting too excited. I'm screaming. Who is it? Is it Guy Pearce? Yeah. He's Mondego.

He's the villain. And, uh, it's Jim Cavie. Yeah. Jesus. Yeah. Right.

He had a roof. A good little, uh, run there for a while. Yeah. I was going to say, he's Jesus. Yeah. Right. He had a roof. A good little run there for a while. Yeah. I was going to say he was Jesus' son. No, that was Billy Crudup. What else?

What else? Jim Caviezel was maybe in Pay It Forward as well. I don't know. Like, I know, like, his blockbuster role was Jesus. Yeah.

That's a tough one to... Yeah, his best was The Count of Mondi, though. He embodied Mondi. I gotta see it again. I remember, I read the book. I liked,

I liked the movie trailer so much, I read the book. Oh! That's just the cheapest translation I could get. Was it the, like,

I was trying to tell someone your joke about the Bible store and messing it up so bad, but how the paper's so thin, you can see the words on the next page. I don't know where. It's like a Bible's the only book that's printed on that thin of paper. I don't know if they.

Oh, maybe a dictionary, too. Yeah. But to the Count of Monte Cristo, I bought that, but I bought the cheap, the thick. Oh, yeah. It was just a brick, and it was way too dense, and the font's too small. And I'm kind of dyslexic, so I'm just like, I'm not even going to try this. I just remember the trailer was so good, and the tagline was, This summer, count on revenge.

Ooh. Yeah. That's pretty good. That's juicy. Top five. So what else is in your top five? Oh, man, that's always a tough question, because you remember when you watch the movie? Yeah, and you're like, this definitely is there.

And then you go, when someone asks me, I'm going to remember this. Yeah, that's true. It's just gone. But Kung Fu H remember this. Yeah, that's true. It's just gone. But Kung Fu Hustle. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Kung Fu Hustle is great. That's in there. That movie, City of God, whenever that comes on.

I've never seen it. It's one of those. Yeah, I've heard it. It's amazing. Yeah, and Count is definitely there, man. I've got to re-watch this Count of Monte Cristo. Count is definitely there, man. Gotta re-watch this Count of Monte Cristo. I feel like I know I watched it when it first came out because I remember renting it? That was an era of movie before things got too superhero.

They made different kinds of movies but with big budgets. Yes. Movies that they knew weren't gonna make their money back yeah I mean they probably hoped yeah they won't get it

they don't know if it's not a superhero movie the dude has a sword they don't yeah I'm into that kind of stuff

but I've always been like oh also a top five within my top five would be as good as it gets. Oh, yeah. It's a classic. It is, man. I saw it and I remember it was big at the time.

Did he win an Oscar for it? Jack Nicholson. Yeah. Helen Hunt. Oh, she did too. She won as well, yeah. And it was. In her bag, man.

Yeah. She was doing it. Who else? Was Greg Kinnear in it? Greg Kinnear was, oh, he was. Cuba Gooding Jr. Cuba Gooding Jr. And Jack Nicholson is a writer.

He's like a Larry David before, like, he's that, he's a curmudgeon. Yeah. And then he. He's a bad guy with a heart of gold. And he won't, he's like OCD in a very cinematic way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where he refuses to step on cracks. Yes.

Yeah. But he also has to wash his hands in boiling hot water and stuff. And then, yeah, he ends up paying for her son's medical treatment. Right. But then he only does it so that she can be his waitress. Oh, right. Because he's very particular. Right. But then, but he only does it so that she can be his waitress. Oh, right.

Because he's very particular. Yeah. He like only will order from her. And his character's name is Mr. Persnickety? That was originally it was going to be called

the Mr. Persnickety Sticky Situation. But they got a cease and desist from the imaginarium of dr parnassus or um what would the two similar senate mr mcgoriam's wonder emporium yeah and the imaginarium of dr parnassus yeah and one of those was terry gilliam anyways we have no way off the track here top five no those are both on it. Yeah, those are all my top five also. How many do we have left?

But the Count of Monte Cristo is an old French? Yeah. Alexandre Dumas. The guy who wrote... Three Musketeers? Yeah. Yeah, he was a swashbuckling son of a bitch, man. That guy was all about the pirate pulling swords you know have you ever wanted to try like sword fighting no i do want to dress like like with that cape yeah i can see you wearing that yeah that whole

charcuterie that's not even the word but i want to wear a charcuterie. I want to wear like a meat cake. Charcuterie in the cake. That's very nice. Have sausages. Yeah. Whole time. Whole time you peasant. Sausages for the peasants.

Just go drip down, man. I like that. I like that look everybody had in the French Baroque period, I think. Now, like, do you, because you're a very stylish gentleman. Thank you. You got that drip. I drip down. Thank you.

Don't mind if I do. Let me wipe this down. Let me wipe this area down. Is there anything that you're like, that you're're on the fence like you really do want to try as a as a look but you're like i don't know if i can pull it off you know that's that's a good question um i think uh you know i'm really heading i'm like one there was a this guy billy billy something i free he's a stylish dude black dude who went to the oscars and he had a tuxedo suit on top and like a ball gown oh billy porter billy porter yeah drip down yeah that was

cool yeah i'm not there yet but you i would yeah i'm like that's that's that's where you're two weeks away from you came into my office a couple weeks ago yeah you also do a voice in this season of this sounds serious episode money is seven out this week i think so funny you are so funny and it's uh you you were wearing boy everything was a shade of pink i think oh yeah yeah that was a good outfit and like everything worked together i I would be afraid to wear any single item, but he was wearing 10 or whatever. I was in six. He was wearing shoes on both feet.

Yeah, yeah. Six to 10 items somewhere in between there. In that same palette and it was all working. Thank you, man. Yeah. We talked about it after you left. We were like, damn. Hey, let's go go like we don't

in my office i wear loafers occasionally and people like loafer day eh like it's like you can't you just can't you wear anything out of this box without getting a comment right yeah yeah yeah and nothing's worse than a comment no that's true That'll really put you in your place. But it does also, like, when you're taking a risk, a fashion risk especially, and somebody comments on it, you're like, I'm blowing it. I'm blowing it. They sing right through me. Yeah, if you don't believe in what you got on. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, then you're walking on.

Tucking your shirt in today, eh? Well, yeah, I mean, I don't have to. Okay. If you guys don't like it, I hate it too. He just growled at me and was scared. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's because it goes back to when you're a kid and you try one different thing and then like your buddy just... You're a phony.

Yeah, calls you out on it and then you're like, well, that's it for the rest of my life. I remember I lost, I always would lose gloves. You know, you always lose one glove. But I just kept the one glove and would wear that to school. And then they started calling me one glove. That's probably, I couldn't think of a famous person who wears one glove to compare you to. Right, they never, they didn't even touch the mic.

They were just like, you're one glove. But that does show you the... I didn't like no i i never it stuck with me so so that was okay that wasn't oh yeah it wasn't making fun of me yeah so now i'm like if i lose a glove i'm not i remember i turned to that nine-year-old who's like now you're one glove yeah your drip is gone how much thought do you put into an outfit before you not much man it that's part of the i've changed i think that's why i kind of called the album that because i don't know what the shift

was but i i just it was a social media thing too it was a whole like unplugging and you know that whole balance of why do i care maybe i'm caring a little bit too much right about what these people who and who amongst these people is is that drip down who's that drip wow billy porter follow billy yeah he's constantly criticizing my lack of effort yeah it, so it was like, for me, once I kind of stepped away from all that, I just stopped caring and was like, just do what you want. So my method,

how I got there was I'd get, before I went shopping, I'd get really high. Okay, alright. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Do a speed bump yeah chase the dragon i gotta say it nowadays

this is this is my method you use it or not take it throw it back throw it away whatever they say um you eat before you eat don't go shopping hungry right because you're gonna buy something or throw in the towel right don't go shopping for clothes hungry don't go shopping nothing hungry okay don't go nowhere this is a millionaire millionaire mindset yeah yeah. Don't negotiate on an empty stomach. Yeah. That was a thousand air mindset. Yeah.

Is take a nap. Yeah. Take a nap first so you're freshly rested. Drink lots of water. Drink a lot of water. Drink a lot of water. Yeah, and if you're still tired,

go back to sleep. Then get up. If the place is still open. Yeah, check online to make sure the place is still open it's not open go to their website and shop there and then you eat you get it don't go on an empty stomach i go high and then i just put my headphones in because you're gonna go in there they're gonna as soon as you get in there they're gonna be like because they're these they're turning these humans the retail is dying because

it's the road so they're turning humans into ai so their interactions are too weird right they're always like man are you looking for just like what are you i just walked in you got your headphones on i'm so high i'm high i don't want to talk i'll see what speaks to me right right and so I'll see something like whatever I had the pink yeah now you know regular me you know maybe six months ago a year ago would be like oh that's too much what would they say they're all gonna laugh you know they're in her monologue but then the high me just goes do it man I like that's my method so yeah I get I point I some, it speaks to me and I go,

yeah, why not, man? It's here. Someone made it. It's not too crazy to wear. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's it. That's a pretty good, pretty good method. It, it, it seems to be working for me, man.

I like it. I like it. Hmm. What's your method for shopping? Yeah. Um, uh, boy, I mean, if the shirt has buttons on the collar i'll probably wear it then you'll give it a haul i don't i don't want the collar flying away would you ever go with a shirt with no collar not t-shirt i'm talking about one of those

button shirts oh yeah yeah i've got a I'm talking about one of those button shirts. Oh, yeah, yeah. I've got one of them, I think. Okay, man, let's get in your closet. So they call it a, well, I've heard it called a grandpa collar or granddad collar or something. Is this like, so it's button up but no collar.

It's button up but no collar. Yeah. Graham, can I ask you, would you ever do the tie with the the shoestring tie like a bolo is that what it's called absolutely yeah you seem like you could rock that yeah i would wear a bolo tie with the bolo yeah graham's sort of a that's fly man yeah he's like a southwestern auctioneer if you need to move a lot of jewelry a lot of turquoise jewelry oh yeah yeah santa fe yeah yeah yeah you yeah you you got a santa fe connect you see them santa fe is made of turquoise you see them sort of in the background when there's like a uh antiques rojo episode from albuquerque

it's um yeah my method of uh is always because i go to vintage stores or thrift stores so i have no idea when i'm nice i don't ever go looking for a thing and so whatever you see what speaks to you yeah like i'll just go and then hopefully i just find a thing that that fits that's that's the other thing has to fit i mine no mine like i have every piece of clothing i need and so i literally have to be like what do i throw away if i get a new thing new one in old one out that's like that's the ideal yeah now is that from the minimalist no i'm the closet is full. This is where I'm like, I have clothes that I wear that I, or clothes that I love that I never wear because I just pick like the six

most common things in the rotation. Now, do you guys get a lot of free clothes? No. No. No. Like do fans like send in, hey, I made you this thing i wouldn't that would be i can't imagine i made you this meat cape hey fans step it up yeah i mean if somebody wants to send us a cape yeah but like i don't people would maybe send us things with like a logo or something on them

oh yeah it's more their thing yeah but no one does yeah i don't think i don't know how many that is a big that is a big ask though i don't know how many designers listen to this uh you know like clothing design yeah there's a lot of graphics yeah yeah yeah oh you know who listens is um heddy slan from Sailor Rock hasn't been to Sailor Rock for a couple years sorry about that let's see Raph

Raph listens he got that drip Sean John listens Kanye listens and starts making you guys like those like gowns or like

like those monk type yeah Kanye makes his uh shapeless beige sweatshirts one piece just yeah cult yeah cult uh fresh yes exactly he started a church why that's where what that's kind of the place you go to right the top place is to start your own that's kind of when you're starting your own fashion your own church oh that's right because he's starting his own church

I mean that's that's once you've I don't know like I would have thought like a fast food chain before a church you know what I mean yeah sure I know one guy who's... Yeah, sure. I know one guy who started... They already did that.

One guy started a church, and he had some kind of crazy ideas, but... His name's Jim Caviezel. His name's Jim Caviezel. Yeah, there's not a lot of celebrities that that started their own church are there uh i don't know i i go to hillsong what what is that hillsong's the like uh mega church um kind of like chain oh a chain of churches yeah yeah and they got their own band that came to the uh arena a few weeks ago oh really yeah wow and it's like like a Christian rock band where they kind of rotate people in for a few years and rotate them out.

Oh, like Manoodle. Yeah, they're kind of like... The Christian rock Manoodle. Yeah. Wow. I didn't know this existed. I couldn't tell you any of their songs, but I'm guessing they're a lot about him.

Yeah. Yeah. He does this. I do this for him. I saw an ad for a group that I assume they're from YouTube. Pentatonix? Yep. I think they're from YouTube, too.

Yeah. And they, like, are playing at the arena. Yeah, yeah. And it's all no instruments? Is that what it is? I think it's all no instruments. I think it's all acapella. Yeah.

Can't be it. Yeah, I think it's an acapella group. Do they do the Carmen Sandiego thing? Yes, almost exclusively. Not for me. I'm going to pass on this one. And I like a good deal. This dragon's out.

Oh, boy. Oh, man. If you lose Dino as the dragon, oh, boy. Can I take anything? Because they've made three of those pitch perfect movies that kind of celebrate and make fun of acapella singing. Yeah. But I don't know whether, like, which way it leans. Like, are people seeing those because they like the music?

I went, like, when I was in Edinburgh, I met a group of people that had seen my show and they were very complimentary and then I realized halfway through, I was like, they're trying to get me to see their show. They're a church. They're trying to get me to go to their church. And I went and it was an acapella glee club from London

or something. Were you pissed? I was. After the first song, I was like, maybe this is what I like. Maybe this is what I was, after like the first song I was like, maybe this is what I like. Maybe I, maybe this is what I, I've been looking all these years

trying to figure out who I am. Maybe this is me. Right, you went open-minded. Yeah. You went all in. And then I think

three songs after that I was like, I gotta, I gotta get out of here. But I'm on the far side from where the exit is. So yeah, so I'm in this.

I mean, they were, they were so happy. Well, it's not a sad club. No, yeah, so I'm, I'm in this, I mean, they were, they were so happy. Well, that's not a sad club. No, that's true. Um,

is there any type of, uh, is there any type of music that you absolutely like, you'll never have given a chance to, but you're curious about? Hmm. Curious. Um, I'm curious about? Curious.

I'm curious about death metal. I mean, I was going to, that's always been in the back of my mind. But then I went, I actually had one of those nights where I did laugh lines. It's a few years ago. Yeah. And, you know, whenever you just do laugh lines, you leave in a weird headspace. Yeah, you're out in the suburbs. Yeah, you're out in the burbs, and you're just like,

I just did a show. I don't feel like, I don't know how I feel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And on the way back, on the SkyTrain, some photographer recognized me from a show that I did, and he goes, hey, I got the photos from the show. It was just random, and he was like, what are you doing tonight?

I was like, nothing. And I ended up going to a bar crawl with him and we ended up at a at a death metal whoa kind of death metal i guess uh over on the um hastings area one of those bars and then i was listening to it and then he tried to kiss me ah yeah that happens. It is the most romantic music. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, nah, I was like,

did I give him the wrong sign? I was like, yeah, I guess so. I kind of did. It kind of was on me. I was kind of just, yeah,

I'm available. Sure. I was trying new things that night. That's true. You were putting out a, yeah, you were putting out a new thing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I heard it out. I heard it out. It just maybe now, I guess maybe that's the test. I would like to hear the best version of that. Right. Or in the top 20 percentile of that thing. Like whatever that thing is, whatever people consider to be the tippy top.

Yes. In fact, I'm tripping. I actually just recently went to the Rainbow Ballroom on Sunset. That was like the whole Rock of Ages flex. And on Wednesday, they have rockers, like Road Dogs and backup singers and all the people that toured with those guys come and they rock out. and it's good.

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. So any, I'm game for anything. That's, that's the, the top of,

of its game. What? Right. Whatever is the top of the form. Yeah. I'll hear it out for me. Death metal is too negative. Give me life metal.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Something affirming. Yeah. Yeah. But like, you know,

those, the, the music video channels you were talking yeah uh i've also been watching these music oh yeah and one of them is all uh rap yeah one of them is all metal don't know why that's like i get that there's a a market for rap yeah i don't get why there's still that many people who want to watch metal videos. Yeah, metal videos. So there's one rap channel, one metal video channel, and then one that's just catch-all, retro. And the rap one goes right up to current.

The metal one maybe goes right up to current. I wouldn't be able to tell you. Because the sound stays. It doesn't change through the... It doesn't seem to. It's hard to stay on that channel for more than a few seconds. Yeah, unless it's one of the bands that I knew when I was in high school. Yeah, or if it's like, this is technically the loud channel.

Yeah. And so it'll have Guns N' Roses as well. Yeah. Was it like the only was it before the internet was it like the outlet to express anger and it loses edge right i don't think it's lost its edge at all okay yeah it's still it's still yeah i think it still attracts that angry element okay but then i also know a lot of people who are very mild-mannered. Yeah.

That love. But it's like an outlet. Yeah. But it feels like it's an inlet. Because it's like yelling into your head. Like, you don't get to do any yelling. I just need an inlet for my rage. I need someone to vent at me.

It's healthy it is funny like but i it's it's funny that there are just those two types of music that they've given entire channels to in this three channel package yeah because when i was like growing up watching music videos they would have a block that was cowboys and outlaws or outlaws and heroes was the country music right there would be a block uh the power hour was metal yeah uh and there was uh whatever the rap one was uh rap city rap city but there was also a like a vibe as well uh and then the alternative one was the wedge the wedge right uh but like it yeah it's weird and then the electric circus the techno one yeah but it's it's like rap uh when you watch the videos it's's changed so much. Oh, yeah. Like, when they show

a rap video from the 90s and then right after it, they show one from 2015, you're like, oh, it's changed a lot.

It's like, the look of it has changed and everything. But the metal is solidly consistent. It's very dark. There's no bright. The tone,

you don't need to change the camera lens or the, you know, the light angle. We'll use the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's no bright. The tone. You don't need to change the camera lens. Yeah, no. The light angle, we'll use the same thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just one cinematographer. Another band's coming through. Like a taping of Comedy Central.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, now you're the metal band. Yeah, no, the rappers, man, in the, in the late, late nineties, it just caught on so heavy that they started getting big money. Yes. And they were getting millions to do like three minute videos. Yeah.

And it was, it was, it was the, it was the golden era. Yeah. It was the golden era. And now people can kind of like be a little like winking, like we know we're not making this much money in the music industry anymore.

We can kind of have like a low key video. And I like, I like the, then, especially in the nineties and the early two thousands, there was a lot of music videos where the music part doesn't start until like a minute into the video. Oh yeah. That was an old movie. Yeah. Yeah. So there's like a lot of pressure on these singers trying to act.

A lot of recreations of Scarface and the Godfather. But the scenes are too long so they can't, they just have to play the song now. We don't know how to get out of the scene. Well, let's stop the music for a minute while Mariah Carey gets in a fight

with another Mariah Carey. Oh, man. And then R. Kelly took it to a new stage. Yeah. On and off the screen. That's true. But on the screen, took those and turned it into a whole opera.

The Stuck in the Closet. Stuck in the Closet. Mr. Biggs, before that, Ron Isley. Okay. They'd always have a little showdown. So, yeah, they got to do a lot. There was a new, on Netflix, it just came up, this new, it turns out it's a 15-minute music video with Tom York from Radiohead. Oh, yeah.

Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson. And it's like a weird 15-minute dance thing. Sure. And I was like, wow, this was not great to watch. But I liked all the people attached to it. That would be a very funny review. Not great to watch. But like a great idea.

The wow though to stay goes, wow. So you go, oh, this is going to be nice. Not great to watch. But like a great idea. The wow though, he goes, wow. So you go, oh, this is going to be nice. Not great. But like if, if, if suddenly on Netflix,

it was like, I'm like, whatever the Mo Money Mo Problems video was just like a thing you could watch. Oh, that'd be amazing. Recommended for you. It's basically YouTube is what I'm talking about. Yeah.

Yeah. It's just a better package to YouTube. You just, you I'm talking about. Yeah, yeah. It's just a better packaged YouTube. You just reinvented YouTube. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird. But it's a great idea for if you want to get a great director to make a 15-minute thing. Yeah. Throw a bunch of money at them.

Netflix has that money. I mean, yeah, I think people are going feeling the short format and everything. For me, I love movies and I don't like going to the movies nowhere near as much as

10 years ago or 15 years ago because the best part of the movie is the trailer. Do you feel like is that an attention span thing or is that a like just yeah yeah man because i feel like my attention is attention span for sure yeah hey it's hard yeah to hold these gators down when i'm in the theater it's like hey come on man yeah the movie don't start until the movie started. And then 30 minutes into it, you're like, okay, now the movie's actually started. Right.

Every movie. Yeah. It's just start there. Start at the. Why can't a movie be 45 minutes? It can. It actually can. Just a weird.

You know what I mean? Like I went to film school and all that. And you had to do this rule of 30 pages. That's when the thing. And then that 60 pages. That's. film school and all that you had to do this rule of of of 30 pages that's when the thing and then that 60 pages that's hey you that you might have to readjust that i think so because especially if you watch a movie from the 70s like i watched a movie the other night that was like uh it was a margot kidder was the star of it and everything everything in it, if it was shot now, it would have been like a 40-minute long movie.

They kept in a lot of stuff. It's very slow. A lot of guff. The comedies don't have any jokes in them. The comedies were trash. Let's just say, people talk about Blazing Saddles. If anyone comes up to me, that's how I know. Blazing Saddles if anyone comes up to me that's how I know

Blazing Saddles at least has jokes it has attempts yeah they swing they swing at it but whenever I meet like

if I'm in one of these small towns and it's an older guy you know usually anyone reads it it's gonna be an older white guy yeah yeah yeah

oh Blazing Saddles you know the comics you like and I'm like you don't you're not up on you like and i'm like you don't you're not up on the game and i'll throw something out for them i go richard pratt they go oh blazing saddle that's not that's kind of a racist the scenes just play us unfunny scene unfunny yeah it's not funny the the for me like i remember i think i've talked about this on the show like adults when i was knew i was like a funny kid or like you should see the naked gun and they

were all right the naked gun yeah rule yeah and then occasionally people would be like you should see the party with peter oh my god and that i even then I was like, I don't know. This seems old. This seems to pre-day comedy. Yeah. For me, it was the first, it's the first season of Saturday Night Live. Or the first couple of seasons where somebody was like, you should watch this. And me as a kid just being like, so confused.

Yeah, yeah. Like, what was the, what was funny about this? But at the time it was mind blowing, I guess. See, yeah. Like, what was funny about this? Yeah. But at the time, it was mind-blowing, I guess. See, I knew. Yeah, these characters, they don't sell Coke. They sell Pepsi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hamburger, hamburger.

I was like, I don't get it. My brothers had really good taste in comedy. Yeah. I have older brothers. I my brothers had really good taste in comedy. Yeah, I have older brothers. And so I had a young age. I was watching like Hollywood Shuffle with Robert Townsend and Keenan Ivory Wayne. This was, you know, the movie.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was that kind of like it was and it still holds up. Does a movie. Yeah. Full of skills. An hour and 10 minutes.

And it's full of skits. Oh, man. It was. It's full of it's a Bobby an hour and ten minutes and it's full of skits whoa man it was it's full of it's a Bobby Taylor that's Robert Townsend he's a struggling actor trying to get decent roles in the 80s in Hollywood and they only would give out pimp roles or

slave roles which is funny cause the slave movies still keep coming up I hate a slave. I hate a goddamn slave. I can't stand a slave movie. And, and then this movie they would have along his journey,

he would like go in and audition and then he would have like a daydream of like, or have a conversation that would make him think like, damn, what if I got to do some bullshit? And then they would cut to him doing a slave role. And then within that skit, they go cut. And then he does, hi, I'm Bobby Taylor.

You know, welcome to black acting school. You know, we teach you to be a pimp. And so it was like it was skits within a narrative. Right. Or sneaking into the movies. And there's these two dudes uh june bug and onion head reviewing movies and they review amadeus because i'm a chemical they're reviewing amadeus at indiana jones and they're doing it as two cats who would you know

from chicago or something yeah so it was all it was all, it was cool, man. It was, it would, and I think like that, that shift in watching something for over an hour, if it doesn't shift. Right. Or keep you in, it's just hard, man. Even stand up, right? Oh, yeah. Oh, man. Or listening to anyone talk.

Yeah, yeah. Man. Yeah. Yeah. It's, I like that for me. I mean, as we approach the hour mark of the show i i hear everyone i think regino is laying it on a little thick i mean this doesn't apply to park yeah no no exactly well you know it's different you can't design a logo while you're in the movie

yeah yeah exactly um speaking of uh slave roles do you uh you did you ever hear that story about Madonna going to see a private screening of 12 Years a Slave and she was on her phone and someone told her to put her phone down and she called them an enslaver do you believe that do I

Madonna no at the time I believed it cause you know do you believe that? Do I? Madonna? No. At the time I believed it. Cause you know, but now I don't think it really holds water. No, but you know, the thing about, I always wondered like when I was younger,

like what, how is it somebody like Madonna gonna age? Like how, how is she going to be as a 50 year old, 60 year old or whatever? And it's, it's way uh outstripping my expectations it's it's weirder and wilder than she's starting her own church is she but uh her she did like uh she was a presenter for uh uh, not an in-memory thing for Aretha Franklin.

And it was the craziest. It was the craziest. Because she just talked about herself for, like, a good, like, a solid 10-minute chunk story about Madonna. As if it was, like, Madonna had died. Oh, boy. And she was allowed to come back to life and say her own eulogy. That's the dream. That is the dream.

Do your own eulogy. Although, yeah, I have a hard time watching. You probably would just on a YouTube or something like that. I actually watched it on TV while it was happening. How was it? I don't watch those. I just don't catch them. I don't.

I mean, I'll watch something that's live on TV. That's the, about the only thing that I watch on TV is like, uh, some sort of funeral, like a funeral state funeral. This is a weekly funeral.

Our parade. Yeah. I'll watch a parade. My brother watches parades I didn't know I didn't know I caught him I caught him

I caught him watching a parade cause he's a very like he's always been a cool guy like very cool but this is his secret this was his secret

the world's getting hot yeah I was back home in Fresno and he was watching I don't know if he was watching and I was like yeah what is it

he goes look at this shitty parade and he's dumping on it but he won't change the channel yeah he's like yeah this is so dumb anyways these balloons

aren't even that majestic yeah he was critiquing the floats and I was like wait you like parades I mean I've seen some great marching bands and these guys are

maybe top five maybe not even though cause they're bad and I hate them this is so dumb but let's watch and see how dumb it is

I can't wait for Snoopy have you ever watched a parade uh yeah for when I was a kid every year we had to do the stampede parade oh

in person in person oh boy we had to do the stampede parade. Oh, in person, in person. Oh, yeah. I had to go down there, uh, stand amongst the, the crowd. And just like, as a kid, you get, you get nothing. You get some guys back for most of the, uh, maybe, you know, 10 minutes up on your dad's shoulders. And then your dad's like, okay, down you go. Next kid.

So it's a lot of staring at and like, who is this? This is Atco? Yeah. Yeah, this is Wawa Nisa Insurance. You ever watch a parade? No. Never been to a parade? No.

I mean, not that i can recall you i got on on accident like i got jammed up by one sure on the way home i was pissed and i cut across you were like hey you can't do that watch me yeah watch it oh one time i walked i marched in the parade when i was um uh one armed man killed my wife and oh yeah yeah long story i was saint patrick's man yeah the hinkiest thing you ever seen um what's going on with you dave well speaking of uh uh you know getting dressed and and wearing clothes and things uh a few weeks ago, it's not here, but when I go to work, I carry this bag, and it's got a shoulder strap,

and it's also got two sort of like briefcase straps. And I got it like maybe eight years ago. Past the bar. And the shoulder strap finally broke and i was like oh so i went on ebay to look up like oh how could i what how much would a replacement shoulder strap be and it was like 80 bucks more than buying the bat a new bag probably right uh no no it's a fine bag that's where all of the money comes from. That's where all the drip goes. No, I was in, I remember

I got a gift card in like 2011. This Filson bag. It's like a, it's a leather and canvas bag. I remember their float on the bridge. And then it occurred to me,

oh, this seems like one of these um like durable like heritage brands that probably has like a lifetime warranty on their stuff oh so i if i went to their website and they do and they send you a ups sticker and you gotta package up your your whatever and send it back to them and they can bury it and they'll either fix it or replace it and it was just one little bit of the metal on the strap that broke but for three weeks i was carrying a briefcase i was carrying it as a briefcase and i felt like such a grown-up yeah because it wasn't even like an affectation no i had to have it so you're carrying it i was carrying my laptop in a bag like by hand how did it feel well i felt like a big grown-up man yeah yeah yeah yeah did people treat you differently like right this way sir yeah it was

a lot of like uh oh do you have your briefs in this case yeah these are the guys at work again yeah yeah hey mr briefcase hey mr briefcase you phony baloney yeah yeah yeah uh it was yeah it seemed like i did a couple of there were a couple of comments about how i looked like i was going to teach a uh like a college course sure yeah because who now like now that i'm thinking of it i'm like when was the last time i saw somebody there's always one kid in high school yeah some of the people are your fans they're definitely one of the few of them have briefcases they're cool that was always like you're just like why but they're definitely one of the few of them have briefcases they're cool that was always like you're just like why but they're just jumping ahead they were jumping ahead and yeah and i feel

like this wasn't i didn't have the kind of briefcase that you click open and money is inside for a time i i was like yeah yeah i i know i did that just because I'm kinky. I think when I was in my early twenties, I had a, I had a time where I was considering having a briefcase be my thing, you know, like, cause you know, you're desperately searching for a thing. Yeah. And you gotta have a bag anyways. And so why not a briefcase? Why not be like, oh, that's classic, classic gray.

I'm walking around with this briefcase. Um, I bought bought it never used it oh sure but like a saxophone everyone has a time when they come by some kind of

yeah yeah yeah this is gonna be like start smoking a pipe or something like you're just like I think it would be funny you know how sometimes a gangster has a violin case

and he opens it up and there's a giant gun in there yeah I think it would be fun if you had a violin case and he opens it up and there's a giant gun in there yeah i think it would be fun if you had a violin case and you open up and it had a saxophone that'd be pretty good yeah it's a weird flat violin shaped saxophone but it does it it feels like yeah carrying a briefcase but not being a businessman. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you're dabbling in a world that's not your world. Especially because a businessman just sort of needs a phone.

Yeah, that's true. A businessman. I don't know. But, like, that's who would carry a briefcase. Like a lawyer. A lawyer would carry a briefcase. Yes, absolutely. And some of the lawyers have those, like, accordion file briefcases.

Yeah, those are cool. Uh-huh. Absolutely. And they have, some of the lawyers have those like accordion file brief. Yeah. Those are cool. You got to order them like they're, they don't even make like a, uh, they don't sell them at like briefcase stores. You got to get them at the lawyer's store. Yeah, there is.

There's, I think that's still around. Is there, there's a lawyer store downtown that sells. Oh yeah. Yeah. It's not far from the courts. And it's like,

if you're going to buy somebody who just became a lawyer, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not far from the courts and it's like, if you're going to buy somebody who just became a lawyer. A graduation gift. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's where you go. And they sell those type of things. And you can get a gown. A gown.

You can get a gown, gavel, all the lawyer things. The gown and gavel. The other thing, I, so I always, my wallet always sticks like every couple years i need to get a new wallet because i i keep my wallet in my back pocket yeah and it uh like i i but when i sit down i try to take it out. But there's just one summer day where my butt is so sweaty and my wallet gets wet and it just stinks of sweat.

Or ass. Yeah, it's almost like a summery ass sweat mixed with leather and whatever the chemicals go into tanning leather. Yeah. And tanning that ass. And we've talked about it on the show and you don't carry a wallet like that. You have a little card case. Yeah. So I recently switched to card case. Nice. And how are you liking it?

I like it, but I forget it a lot. Oh. Because. You don't recognize it as. I don't keep it in my back pocket so i used to have phone wallet keys right like jingle jangle but now i'll just keep the card case in the same pocket as my phone or my keys and give myself a little tap or i just don't do the tap and i just forget and a couple and like sometimes it'll just like there was a a few days when i just didn't know where i

was yeah and it was because i i put margo to bed one night and i was reading her stories and it fell out of my pocket went under her bed and that's and i like called every chipotle i had been to that day how many chipotle said you're gonna do that i was doing a chipotle crawl i met this guy this photographer i took those pictures of you eating a burrito let's go do some more yeah and he tried to kiss me let's go listen to death metal yeah you were asking yeah well i was giving him mixed signals and he was like guac is extra i know i know uh so yes it is how how does it feel when you don't you feel like like uh you belong at the mercy of the city when you don't have your wallet yes like you're just like a beloved peasant like you're just like i have no money no id

it's funny yeah even though you're free from that now. Yeah. You're kind of off the grid. Yeah. That's the feeling. But it's like, uh, the, it's, there's so much you can do with your phone now. Whereas like I can, uh, you know, order food on my phone and go pick it up. Or I can, you know, pay for parking on my phone. Yeah. it up or i can you know pay for parking on my phone yeah i'm not

so off the grid but like i've had that where my phone has died when i'm out and then i'm just like well i don't know what time it is anymore like i have no way of accessing time any kind of Like, I'll just take the bus whenever it shows up. I have no function to look up the schedule. Yeah, losing your wallet is less inconvenient than losing your phone. Yeah, if your phone dies, then you're just like, well, I guess I'm just not part of it anymore. Right.

Like, until this phone gets charged back up, I'm just out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't exist. Um, yeah,

uh, it, it, it, it was like a down, downsizing thing too, of like, well,

this card case only carries four. I can only keep four cards with me. Okay. Uh, at a time. And the 20, like, so your Chipotle card.

The $25 cash that never seems to get spent, but it's always in my wallet. That's good. That's good to have. I have some kind of like currency in my little wallet. Yeah. I don't even know if it's a dollar or something, but I just want a little bit of paper in there. Paper money so I can tip a guy. Yeah.

Yeah. So I have four cards. I've got a debit, a credit, a driver's license, and a coffee-like gift card. Oh, that's not bad. Because when I refill that, I get a discount. So you minimalized your wallet your wallet my carry yeah yeah yeah feels good it's all right yeah it's all right yeah i like a thin a thin wallet yeah i don't

like a lot of things in my pocket no why that kind of it really comes up in the summer because then you don't have that extra you don't have a a coat. Yeah. So all of a sudden you're like, oh, man, I've only got two pockets worth. Like, I'm down to two functioning. Because you can't put anything in the front pocket. That looks, everything poofs out. So you're just like, well, one thing's not coming with me. Because it's got to be phone. You've got to have whatever kind of wallet container.

Uh-huh. And then, you know, there's, you know. You have your keys on a wallet chain. I keep everything else on a wallet container. Uh-huh. And then, you know, there's... You have your keys on a wallet chain. I keep everything else on a wallet chain. Everything else is just hanging outside off of a carabiner. Yeah. What's up with you? And by the way, Abby seems to be cooking lunch upstairs.

Do we think she's burning the house down? No, I think it's fine. I think it's probably... It smells like a pancake. I think she's burning the house? No, I think it's fine. I think it's probably, it smells like a pancake. I think she's making a tartutan. This I watched on MasterChef. Oh, you know who likes to eat that? Count of Monte Cristo. Oh, absolutely.

Yeah. Tartutan. Deceivingly simple. Very difficult to make. What is it? A fruit. A fruit and ary on the bottom But everything has to be

Made upside down And then flipped At the last second So the fruit's on the bottom? The fruit is on the top At the end But when you're making it The fruit's on the bottom

Oh, kind of like yogurt Yeah, yeah, yeah It's like a yogurt Like a parfait Yeah Except at the end You flip it So then it's

Anyways It was a great episode. Uh, congratulations to Gordon Ramsey and crew. Okay. Um, I went to, uh,

this past week, I went to Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. Hey, yeah. You ever been out that way? I have, uh,

five, maybe six years ago. I like it. Yeah. So I thought I would have guessed New Brunswick. Nope. Nova Scotia. Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. Yeah I would have guessed New Brunswick. Nope. Nova Scotia. Hey,

Brandon, Nova Scotia. Yeah. What's in New Brunswick? Moncton. Absolutely. They got lots of Moncton. Monk.

Where they shoot the, where they shot Monk. That's where they shot Monk. That's what the town's named after. Oh, I love it. I have. It's been a while though.

What was that like, man? It was, I like it. It's very quaint was that like man it was I like it it's very quaint it's a very quaint it's an island uh

you know like Halifax is the big city in Nova Scotia so it's quite far away from that uh huh and it's uh

it's right uh you know it's right on the ocean it's very it's very um Irish and Scottish

you know like it's very like they play that one know? Yeah. It's very like. They play that one fiddle song over and over. Yes. They're big into fiddle. The one that goes. The one that goes. Dee-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-diddly-huh they have this giant fiddle and uh that plays music plays fiddle music 24 hours a day

um you know is all the all the things that you would find in a in a nice uh small town what are the things canada has the biggest of we got the biggest hockey stick yeah we have the the biggest or maybe the second biggest moose oh sure, sure. There was like a competition with Norway or something. You've got the biggest Ukrainian Easter egg. That's right. Biggest maple tree. Probably. I assume.

I don't see why not. They'd be crazy if they did. Biggest hockey puck we have. Okay. Biggest nickel. That's true. In Sudbury. Yeah.

All right, cool. Yeah. But more to this big fiddle. Yeah, it's big. Okay. Yeah. It's like two stories fiddle. Yeah, it's big. Okay. Yeah, it's like two stories tall. It's pretty big.

You know, I went and looked at it. That's the weird thing is like you have to go out of your way to look at this thing. It's not in the center of town? It's not far from the center of town, but you still have to go. You still have to traipse your way over. Is it walking distance? The whole town is walking distance. Right. Yeah.

It's just one of distance right yeah it's just one of those like it's a small small town very charming everything about is very charming and good people too right very chatty very friendly people and this was for you you did a debater show yeah and while you were out there you also did your uh food network traveling yeah yeah yeah um fiddled me this yeah it was called it's really big in cape red nowhere else yeah um i'm the fiddler you're the fiddler i'm batman's villain the fiddler yeah um but yeah it was uh it was like the crazy thing is because canada is so big yes is that uh flying there is as long as it would take to get to europe yeah like london or something yeah yeah like like it's weird to spend that much time traveling. Cause it was, you know, with a layover,

it was like nine or 10 hours of traveling and you're, and you're still in Canada. Yeah. You still don't use the same $25. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. You get out and there's Tim Hortons in the airport there and you're like,

ah, you see the same strangers from Vancouver. Yeah. Yeah. That's happened to me. Really? Yeah. When I went to Toronto, I was like, there and you're like ah you see the same strangers from vancouver yeah yeah that's happened to me really yeah when i went to toronto i was like i just saw i don't know you back in vancouver but i've seen you yeah on the 10 bus or whatever yeah yeah yeah yeah it's uh the one of the the guys that we were using in one of the debates, I saw him within five minutes of getting into town. Oh, yeah, yeah. I was like, here's this guy.

How many people? Cape Breton is an island. Yeah. I don't know how many people. And Sydney is in Cape Breton? Sydney is, yeah, a little town in Cape Breton. I do not know my geography over there. No, neither do I, really.

I mean, I had to look at a map. There's the Cabot Trail. It's the big thing. And eating lobster. That's the other thing, is eating seafood, which I can't. So there's not a lot going on for me there. I mean, I like fiddle music as much as the next person you know this yeah yeah about me but so this is how like kind of small town it was i landed at

the airport and then i'm used to just walking outside and there's just there's cabs i was like i don't think this is an uber town but there's going to be just cabs. And so I just stood outside for like 10 minutes and I was like, hmm, doesn't seem to be any cabs. So I went back into the airport and asked for the information. They were like, no, you have to call it from this phone. Oh, that is small. Yeah. So there was a phone that I had to call. So you flew, tell me your flight route. From Vancouver to Toronto, Toronto to call. So you flew, or tell me your flight route.

Route? From Vancouver to Toronto, Toronto to Sydney. Toronto to Sydney. Oh, so how many people were on your plane? Oh, not that many. Okay. It was a small, it was a very tight plane. So it wasn't, I guess, an airport that doesn't get that much traffic that a taxi cab would think to wait there.

No, exactly. Is there a ferry that can get you to the island? airport that doesn't get that much traffic that a taxi cab would think to wait there no exactly is it is there a ferry that can get you to the island i think there is a ferry but i don't know where it goes from like i think you'd have to land in halifax and then you'd have to drive to the ferry so we went on this little plane we the plane was so small. Like it wasn't a tiny little propeller plane, but it like we had to get on a bus at the terminal and the bus took us out to the plane. You were on a small plane for hours? For, yeah, a couple hours. Did it have anything, any movies?

No, it didn't. It didn't have. And the old guy next to me, he was complaining about everything. And I was like, I don't want anybody to think I'm with you because you're being awful. And because I want to complain too. Yeah, I want to complain and you're taking up. Yeah, exactly. Sitting next to each other.

Yeah. And so he kept looking at me for assurance that this is something he should be complaining about. And I was like, what are you looking at'm putting in the ear the earplugs uh uh and then so i called the the cab and uh the guy said yeah and i'm pretty sure it was the guy who was driving the cab was who i was talking to and it took a long time he finally showed up got in the cab he had clearly just uh been smoking it oh yeah which i'm not not used to that i'm used to i'm used to a clean yeah big city cab uh this guy i think maybe stopped at burger king on his way um and when we got to the hotel i was like uh i'll pay with visa please and he's like he's like nope cash only i was like what

kind of god damn it so i just had to rummage through my backpack and like find what money happened to be in there because i didn't when was the last time you know had to do commerce yeah i mean there are places where it's cash only sure but there are also places that are no cash allowed yeah and then you know usually at the cash only place there's an atm there yeah something like that and there's a sign on the very front that says casual yeah this guy didn't say anything until we got to the destination so he saw me rummage through no tip no tip couldn't didn't have enough sorry dude i'm sorry man um but you know uh it was yeah it was nice nice trip nice you know nice trip bring cash what was there your uh highlight uh i really liked i went into

a big fiddle yeah the big fiddle was pretty good i went into a nice like really nice vintage store that had some really nice stuff. Those little towns have some little gems in there. Yeah, yeah. I did one of those. And you have to do the tourist thing, too, when you go. You have to see what the town thing is in those little small. Yeah, yeah. I went to Norfolk, Nebraska.

Not Virginia. There's a Nebraska Norfolk. Okay. The Great American Comedy Fest. And I didn't look at any of the particulars until I'm flying the day I'm flying. And they were like, because they kept sending all these updates. You know what I mean? When you sign up for something.

Yeah. It was through my agent. I go, yeah, I'll do it. It's money. You know, just go,

I'll go wherever. And then, and then I was like, what the hell are they talking about? They go, lunch is going to be at this time. And so I said, what,

and it was all about, uh, Johnny Carson. Oh, all about Johnny Carson. Oh. All about Johnny. He's from Nebraska. Yeah, which I didn't do any recon. I was like, why is this?

So what about Johnny? And it was his home. It was where he was raised. Right. So you fly into Omaha, and then a guy picks you up. And you were one of Johnny's favorites. Oh, you invited me over to the couch. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you saw the, yeah, favorites. Oh, you invited me over to the couch. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you saw the, yeah, that's how I met, yeah, the couch. Yeah, so the only ride that it made since they brought me there, and I get there, they drive you two hours from Omaha to Norfolk, and then everything is all coordinated. And they're like, all right, we're going to lunch, and then we're going to do like they're like all right we're gonna lunch and then we're gonna do the museum the johnny carson museum then we're going to johnny's house you know what i mean for dinner his mom still is i was johnnyed out i was johnnyed out by day one you know what i mean you do all the stuff

and but i would love like i would go to a small town where they're like, here's what you're doing today. Yeah. And just like, hey, we're going to go to the. I did it. Yeah. They do the thinking for you. Yeah. They plan it.

As long as they don't mind you being like, I'm going to nap. Yeah. Yeah. No, you could. Yeah. You could Irish goodbye because you each get a driver. Right. Because it's all these older people who are just, they have time and they're just happy to see you.

And, you know, yeah, so we did the whole Johnny thing and then my driver was milking it, though. You know, like, yeah, you know, Johnny, you know, his cousin was over there and hanging out, like, just making up stuff about us. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. I get about... Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. I get it, Johnny. This is the street where he wrote all of his famous monologue jokes. At the show, they do a big show at the Johnny Carson.

No, that's the best part. He was milking it. And he would mime golfing. Is that him? He had his own fashion line. He did, yeah. Johnny was fresh, man. Johnny would drip down.

Drip down Johnny. Don't get it twisted. Yeah, he always had a nice ensemble. Yeah, his shoes were nice, man. Yeah, and they played his, uh before the theater you got to do clean they always book you the show they go you can't say this you can't say that right and it's because there's a bunch of old people in the crowd and they played the johnny um five minute highlight realness all his jokes and they're so funny because they're kind of like, they're like, one was about statutory.

Gotta keep it clean. It was a different time. You have to keep it clean. Johnny was born here. Johnny could do whatever he wants. Yeah, Johnny was talking that stuff. Yeah,

it was, it was a good, and Paul Reiser was the headliner. Oh, wow. Yeah. So he was cool. It was, it was, yeah, but it was all that and paul reiser was the headliner oh wow yeah so he was cool it was yeah yeah but it was all that whole small town like this is where i did a tractor

drove a combine yeah i did the whole cool i gave it to him yeah i gave him we'd like to see you drive a combine it would mean a lot to the town. Yeah. It would mean a lot to Johnny's memory if you drove a combine. Keep it clean on there, though. No swearing, no swearing on the combine. Oh, boy. Do we want to move on to some Overheard?

Yeah. Overheard. Overheard. It's a segment in which, boy, oh, boy, when you hear something funny out there, it's time you save it, bring it to the podcast, share. That's the order of things. We always like to start with the guest. Do you know, do you have an overheard? I do. I barely, I remember that this was part of the show. And when I heard an overheard i do i i barely um i remember that

this was part of the show and when i heard the overheard it was months ago i thought about you guys i didn't write it down but i did think that's the overheard something so it's vague uh i barely remember it but what i do remember was i was in at in Atlanta at this spot called the Cookout. It's a fast food chain in Atlanta in the south. Okay. And I'm waiting for my food. And another guy is in line or something. And he comes. He's trying to go to the bathroom or any.

I overheard him ask the cashier a report to the cashier. He said, hey, you need. I'm going to say the N word. And he said, some nigga fell asleep in the bathroom. I was even offended. Because it was like, you don't need,

you don't throw that out. Yeah, we're not all okay with, everyone was black in the, but not all of us. You should have took a poll and say if,

is anyone cool with it? Yeah, yeah, that's what I do I always take a poll before I say it that's how you should go about

everyone should do a poll yeah yeah we're all good with it go ahead Dave no one's ever

been good with it even at a clan meeting they're like Dave Fitz could you not it's not not the way you asked yeah he wanted to say um so he said some nigga fell asleep in the bathroom and to report and he goes and i go and then he goes uh yeah and he's light skinned and i was like that's that part really that was I was like, that's... That part, really. That was it. Okay.

Like, why? Oh, man. Yeah. Every part of this is... We've got to do some unpacking here. So, if you're looking around the bathroom... Yeah, don't breathe. Yeah. You already...

Just look for the guy who's asleep. Really. Yeah, yeah. The one light-skinned. Oh, and he's light-skinned. I took offense. But it was still funny to me. I don't know.

Maybe they were. How do you know? Maybe there was a couple people in there asleep, and he was just ratting out just one. Yeah. You know? Leave the other guy alone. He's had a hard day.

He ate double. He king-sized it or whatever. Whatever they do at the cookout. What kind of food are they cooking at? It's like they have burgers and chili fries and diabetes. Damn diabetes. Yeah. Pretty much.

Huge. Sweet teas. Yeah. Yeah. That's a thing. I mean, we have iced tea, but we don't. It's not a common thing at the restaurants like it is in the States. Yeah, and it's different.

Yeah. It's not a common thing at the restaurants like it is in the States. Yeah, and it's different. Yeah. It's not sweet tea. Yeah, in the States, in the South, you got the sweet tea. Yeah. You got, you know, anything that's sweet and salty and bad for you. The South has got it. The South's got to cover it. I remember.

Cheap, too. So you're just like, can I pass on this deal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We started making this thing for earls a couple years ago the canadian restaurant chain and i had to go and ask a bunch of questions to the servers and one of the questions was what is the difference between american when americans are here like the difference between an american customer and a canadian customer and they all said americans always want iced tea and they never uh they're never satisfied

with what we give them oh yeah yeah like we we yeah canada's iced tea game not good not good we've never been up to snuff i know you know what we have to live with that yeah also is our regular tea game up to snuff because like like the brits come here and go no i think our our regular tea games okay okay yeah i think for whatever reason we our iced tea game is like primo world the world looks to america for iced tea inspiration yeah i see in kool-aid and stuff no that's true go for a purple Kool-Aid It's been a long time It's going to be a long summer

Dave do you have an overheard? Yeah Mine's an overseen I was at the park With the kids a couple weeks ago And there was this dorky Teenager Little 15 year old

boy in glasses playing basketball yeah and just like did he have the strap? no no no just playing the sleeve did he have the iris in sleeve? the what? no he was he didn't have any basketball gear he was just

dorky he was into basketball not very good not very coordinated and then like He was just dorky. Okay. He was into basketball. Not very good. Not very coordinated. Yeah. And, uh, then, uh, like I, you know, paid attention to the kids, looked back over at him later. He was, you know, those, um, uh, like a water fountain in the park. They'll have like a place for you to fill your bottle.

They'll have a place for like a kid to drink a lower water fountain. They'll have a little dog water fountain at the bottom. He was washing his hands in the dog water fountain. And then he got up and I was playing alone, right? No friends. Yes. And then he got up and his t-shirt said,

virginity rocks. Okay. I mean, sure kid. Yeah. For all you know, it does. Yeah.

And, uh, like, you can wear that shirt probably for a few more years. okay I mean sure kid yeah for all you know it does yeah and uh like hold you can wear that shirt probably for a few more years I like this kid man yeah stay pure yeah yeah yeah don't let the world

crush your he's grabbed his briefcase and walked off yeah that's he was definitely just filled with gummy worms oh yeah Definitely. Just filled with gummy worms. Oh, yeah. My overheard, courtesy of two ladies talking to each other.

One of them, I gather from the conversation, was a hairdresser. Ah, they love to gab. Oh, boy. And the woman was saying, well, you know, sometimes I take a picture of a client's head to show them what it looks like on the back. And, you know, some old picture that I took of a dog is in there. Your phone saves every picture you take. She was shocked. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

she was shocked yeah yeah yeah but like how long after she takes the picture is she showing it to the client she does so much stuff in between or let me email you a picture of the back of your head in a couple weeks

or the person she's talking to is like you're just saying things yeah yeah yeah at this point we don't have anything yeah it's like well i can't even have a conversation with you you don't know that a phone saves pictures i uh boy whenever i get my haircut uh the the woman who cuts my hair she we do the thing where she has a mirror behind my head and i have to look at the reflection in front of me to see the mirror behind me it blows my mind every time and I can't like quite see

exactly what she did but I always have this little kind of ridge at the back of my head that looks almost like a neck roll that like Shaq would have she's like what do you think of this? I gave you the Shaq or like a lineman a ball player I gave you the shack. Yeah. Or like,

like a lineman, a bald, like football player or whatever. A couple of rolls of the back. Uh, that's one of my favorite. That's one of my favorite bald looks is the, the rolls of the back.

Oh yeah. Yeah. It's a, it's always a treat to see. It's a big cop look. I see a lot of cops with the, the back of head rolls. Frank Flitter.

Yeah. Sounds like that's what that would be. Yeah. Yeah. Now, in addition to our overheards, we also have overheards sent in by listeners. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. This first one is an overseen of the vanity plate variety. In a Target parking lot,

I saw a lifted extra long multi-passenger van with a vanity plate that just said, Got Kids. You sure do. Yep. That explains this vehicle. Got Kids. You get it? Good.

Don't rear-end me. Didn't have a question mark like, got kids? But yeah, I guess you can't get a question mark on a vanity plate, can you? Some places you might. They let you do weird like some places let you do a heart. Yeah. Love kids. Why do I keep getting arrested?

Why do the cops keep pulling over? Am I a super big fan yeah i heard kids i have candy got candy i love kids i wonder if there was like a there's no way they keep statistics on this, but if like vanity plates get pulled over more than regular standard issue plates. I wonder. Just cause like something might, a cop might be on the fence,

but if they see like Mr. Cool, I'm pulling over Mr. Cool. Yeah. I want to see what this guy's got going on. This guy's packing. This next one, that one came from Spencer H., by the way.

Oh, okay. This one. It seemed like a Spencer H. Totally. This one comes from Sam in Chicago. This is not my overheard, but I am fully stealing it from a group chat of friends I'm in. I allow it. Overheard at the dentist.

How do you Google memes? Do i just type memes yeah i mean that's a good start yeah yeah you're on the right track yeah yeah google memes and then you know pick your favorite one and then just go down that like the dankest ones yeah dang yeah google dank memes that's the way i remember that word in law day they're still they're still using it online yeah this is the only kind of meme i like yeah um you know i like i like a thoughtful meme i like uh an up-to-the-minute meme you know oh current yeah i like that current event me um but dank really does have my heart yeah the shelf life the shelf life of a meme is pretty short these days yeah today's yeah exactly today's uh you know trying to describe someone a meme is like might be the worst idea yeah or a funny video in the first frame it's

Or a funny video you saw. So in the first frame, it's... You gotta have so much contact. Yeah, yeah. So the, have you seen How to Train Your Dragon? Okay, well, you know the white dragon? His face is like, hmm? this final one comes from Kat S

from Ann Arbor Michigan today my family was watching Ink Master a television tattoo artist

competition show we know what it is thank you very much yeah but also your family I mean that's really nice yeah yeah yeah.

It is nice that you have family time, but it's weird that Dave Navarro is hosting it. In one of the testimonials, we learned about one contestant, a white guy with dreadlocks, whose shtick was that he has six cats and a butterfly sanctuary. His team lost the challenge, and his teammates voted him to be one of the contestants up for elimination As the teammate announced that he was the first person up for elimination My mom, very worried, shouted But he has six cats! Aww

That is sweet Your mom's sweet They're gonna starve Unless they eat those butterflies Do you have any tattoos? No No No tattoo-free room

No tats No tattoos. No. My girls tat it up. Yeah? Yeah. Like, little intricate, like, I can't even describe what it looks like. Like, little tattoos?

Or? No, a whole sleeve. Oh, a whole sleeve. Wow. And then within it, all these cool designs. And one, the last one, it was just eight hours of just filling it in. Yikes. And just, just like with the needle or whatever yeah needle thread something like that yeah yeah so you got a cape test cool

i would get it i've been trying to think what tattoo i would get but i think i missed that boat would you get one would you guys i i would get i'm leaning very far away yeah i don't i think it's too late for me but also like i would get a full just go crazy yeah i would get like the full tour my problem yeah you went all the way just go all the way my problem with the those tattoo shows is someone people are getting these tattoos like you got tattooed by a guy who came in eighth. Yeah. Like, yeah, this was an eighth. This tattoo here.

This guy got voted off because of what he did to me. Forever. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people have. Dave Graham, guest. This is Seth from Utah. I was in church, and right in front of me

was a little girl drawing a Father's Day card for her dad. And when she was done, she showed her mom. She said, look, mom, this card is about how sad I would be if dad died in a tornado. Oh, man. Hallmark doesn't make it. You got to make your own. They make I'm sad you died in a tornado, but not how sad I would be if you died in a tornado. Yeah. Preemptive grief is not a section of the but it's also like that's love that's absolutely this is how much this is how much i'd miss you yeah i didn't know mom i've been thinking about it okay next phone call

hello dave graham and possible guest this This is Grace from Southern Indiana calling with an overheard. I work at a summer camp, and today we brought our kids to a museum where I overheard the following exchange between two of the boys. The first boy goes, Hey, have you noticed that all of the mannequins in this museum have legs on? And the second boy goes, yeah, maybe they all have cancer. And then the first boy looks at him

like that's the dumbest thing he's ever heard and he just goes, I doubt they all have hair cancer. Well, off I go. Kids. Yeah. Kids missing the point of the entire museum.

Levels and levels of missing the point of the entire museum yeah levels and levels of missing the point um those are that's the kind of the the strange thing that's still like even with all the technology we have if you go to a museum they still are mannequins wearing outfits from the time yeah but like even with all the technology we have stores still have mannequins wearing outfits of the time but you know they should just have digital displays right at this point big screens that show you different are just humans when the robots win the war oh and then like that's what they use us for is mannequins i never thought about it but yeah have you ever looked at them that's not a bad it's where it's headed pretty much because they'll just have a kiosk where you could just buy pick the thing and and buy it yeah in a retail store or if it's a yeah if it's a you won't even need museums pretty i went to a store and they were

like oh we don't have that in the store but you can order it on our website and we'll give you free shipping to your house if you order it at the store weird maybe they get a commish on that sale you think Michael Chiklis is involved in this?

here's your final overheard hi Dave Graham and good Here's your final overheard. Hi, Dave Graham and good guests. This is Cormac out of Abington, Pennsylvania. I work at a restaurant and I was going into the back station where we sold the drinks and stuff

and I walked into a conversation where someone had called Oh, fuck it. Never mind mind i gotta figure out more details about the story and get it together yeah okay well so he called back with more details here we go okay hey dave graham and good guests this is cormac out of Abington with an overheard so I work at a restaurant and there's a dude that I work with his name is from Yemen so his

English is not very good and things are lost in translation lost in translation damn it so he hung up there we bleeped the name there because I think it comes into play because later he calls and changes the name oh i see okay so uh here is uh the third call

hey dave graham and good old guest this is cormac out of abington with an overheard there's a dude at work and i work with, obviously, who is from Yemen. And some things are lost in translation. And he says creepy things to women. And I don't care for it. But I walked into a conversation where a girl was telling him not to call her baby and there's one dude you know the word was like classic this guy always sexist and i said i made a joke and i said please it's the 21st century we're misogynist now and goes

now because i think he was trying not to use his name there so i bleeped it again so this is call number four all right hey there good old guest this is cormac out of abington this is take four of this story uh there's a dude that I work with named, let's call him Abdul. And he is from Yemen. And English is not his first language, so things are often lost

in translation. And he often says things that creep out women. And I walked in on a conversation between him and two of my other co-workers where he called one of my female co-workers baby and she didn't like that,

so she asked him not to. And the other co-worker said, classic Abdul, always saying sexist things. And I made a joke and I said, hey, Abdul's... Oh, fuck it. God. always saying sexist things and I made a joke and I said hey Abdul's oh fucking god

is the story worth it anymore because you've heard me say it so bad so many times is it even funny anymore? I'm dual. The end. Yes. Yes. What a journey.

Yeah. Sometimes it's not about the destiny. Yeah. It really is about the travel. Yeah. thank you for changing the name so much oh boy uh well that was that was quite a journey thank you thank you cormac please call in if you uh want to you really just like finish her off yeah give a full yeah if you want to maybe uh put it down put pen to paper rehearse a few times get all the details we'd love to hear the full version yeah yeah you can practice on me man call me yeah email me i'm good old guest yeah i'm invested in this too good old guest at gmail.com yeah well that brings us to the end of the podcast

Dino what do you got to plug what do you want to plug you know I'm not a plugger man you know you got that album you know me man

I'm a organic yeah you used to be a plugger but you've changed I've changed that's right I do have the album out.

I've changed. It's on all that stuff. Third album? It's third. It's my third album, man. Yeah, this is short, too, like we were saying, because don't nobody want to listen to nothing over an hour. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Except this show. Except this show, except the last hour of which was the same call over and over. Yeah, that and maybe follow me on Instagram and say hi. I like your followers. They're always really cool. And who are you on Instagram?

I'm Dino the Beloved. The Beloved. Follow him on Instagram. He's swole. Yeah. There's a lot of. I'm dripped down. I'm dripped.

Oh, yeah, I do. I put it out there. Yeah, there's a lot of. You're taking pictures in like locker rooms? Yeah, man. Yeah, of myself. there. Yeah, there's a lot of... Are you taking pictures in like locker rooms? Yeah, man. Yeah, of myself. Yeah. Let's get that out there. Dino the perv.

I'm screwed Dino. Dino the perv. You guys are just taking photos in locker rooms. Are you taking photos in locker rooms? Of myself. Yes, fair enough. From time to time. photos in locker room you know are you taking photos in locker room of myself yes fair enough from time to time well thank you very much

for being our guest man thank you for having me thank you guys are great this is what congratulations you're almost at 600 episodes yeah we're heading that way

yeah no one ever thought we would no not one person believe in you and yeah I'll see you at Just for Laughs yeah I'll see you guys at Just for Laughs I'll see you at Just for Laughs Never thought we would. Not one person. Believe me. And, yeah, if you want to. I'll see you at Just for Laughs. Yeah.

I'll see you guys at Just for Laughs. I'll see you at Just for Laughs. Yeah. Hopefully we'll see you listeners at Just for Laughs. July 26th we'll be there. Yeah. One day only. One day only.

Not one night only. Very specifically. And, yeah, I'm leading up to the Just for Laughs festival. very specifically and yeah I'm leading up to the Just for the Last Festival I'll be in Winnipeg as part of the

Winnipeg Fringe Festival doing quiz shows no no funnier show than quiz show yeah it's a fun time different show

every night I have a new quiz show yes you're overdue I'm overdue and anything else uh t-shirts max fun store.com uh oh and uh listen to my other show this sounds serious with dino dino's in episode one oh funny guy yeah two one one episode one episode one uh it's season two and uh thank you all of you out

there for listening if you like the show please tell a friend and come back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself maximum fun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.