Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 592 - Christine Bortolin

Episode Date: July 22, 2019

Improviser Christine Bortolin returns to talk European toilets, broken fridges, and Stranger Things.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 592 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who for luck at the beginning of every podcast is diarrhea cha-cha-cha. Mr. Dave Shufka. Goodbye, dear listeners.

I don't know why I said that. it just is it was very funny there was a okay so i have big diarrhea energy yeah yeah and uh no i do you remember the tv show daria yes uh daria was on our list of names for the children. Oh, really? For Margot. And I immediately was, because before the show Daria, the character Daria was on Beavis and Butthead. That's right. And the one time I remember her being called on, Beavis and Butthead both went, Daria, cha-cha-cha. And I was like, we can't name our daughter Daria. It was a funny show. It was a funny show.

It was a funny show. Like, you know what? It made Mike Judge a star for a reason. It had a lot, you know, everyone who criticized it was correct as well. Yep. Sure. It was dumb. It was dumb, but you know what?

So is this. So there. Our guest today, a returning guest to the podcast One of our faves You can see her each and every Tuesday At Little Mountain Improv At Little Mountain It's Christine Bordelon

Hello Hello Little Mountain Gallery Gallery But it's not known as Little Mountain Gallery anymore Is it just a little Yeah I mean it's technically LMG Because of the type of special

event license we need to get i see okay so uh so hang a painting every few months yeah exactly sell a bunch of beers out of a garbage can installation piece yeah people leave food out yeah well no i guess it's performance art. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How come there's no galleries just dedicated? Maybe there are, but just dedicated to performance art? Well, the Little Mountain Gallery is one of them. I love it. Come on by. Should we get to know us?

Yeah. Get to know us. Christine. Christine. Yes. You are now living in Vancouver. Oh, by the way, listeners, every summer we do a, Graham goes away for a week or two, sometimes for a couple months.

Yeah, yeah. This summer, it's a short time away. He's away. Oh, we'll be at Just for Laughs this week. This week. Is that right? Yeah. On Friday.

See us in Montreal. And so we always pre-tape a bunch during the summer. This year, we've just like started our pre-taping and we're almost done. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're recording this at the beginning of July and on a Saturday morning. And I felt bad because I thought Christine was coming all the way from the suburbs to be here. But no, she's now living back in Vancouver. Last time you were here, you were talking about living in the suburbs

and how it was like a dual income building. Yes, I had to make, I could not make more than a certain amount. And I just got under it um oh good uh yeah yeah when you live in a building like that you have to like provide your tax forms yeah every year yeah so you have to do your taxes and it was there uh because here in vancouver there's some of these buildings where the poor residents have to enter through a separate entrance it was not like that okay it wasn't like um it was it was like um shared income i think it was more like maybe a co-op than right i just remember you saying that like

there were definitely some people who were on the rich side of it oh my gosh yes and they're so judgy yeah i'm so embarrassed and they never. And they never found out. They never found out. You've totally passed. Yeah. Yeah. You would wear a tiara in the elevator. You would just put it on for the elevator ride, then put it in your purse. Yeah.

Go on your day. Like Stephanie K. on Degrassi when she would leave the house dressed all prim and proper and then put on the makeup. Yeah. But now you're back in town. Back in Vancouver. Good to be back? Feels soouver to be back feels so good to be back i love that i can walk everywhere pretty much if i give myself an hour which i choose to

do yeah yeah yeah yeah i guess like it takes me just as long to get somewhere but now i'm walking there but it feels good i don't do any other exercise so yeah that's why Jared from Subway got so fat well I don't want to be like him but why not I guess like physical wise why physical wise

you want to be like Jared wait maybe I've screwed this up isn't Jared a creep well no I mean I haven't I haven't heard anything I haven't seen any

Subway commercials telling me that but yeah I get all my Jared news from Subway commercials. Yes, Jared's a creep. Yes, he is in jail for many, many years. Oh, great. No Subway sandwiches for him.

Maybe somebody would bake a Subway sandwich into a cake for him. Into a cake? Inside of a cake? Like hide one in a cake? Yeah. To a cake? Inside of a cake. Like hide one in a cake?

And of course, it's so stale, he can use it to file down the bars of his jail cell. Do you think Subway subs are more likely to get stale or more likely to get wet? Wet. Yeah. Freshner. They moisten up over time yeah like me on the tate give david a chance he'll moisten up as the night goes on if you take him out to subway he'll moisten his bottom half gets wet a lot faster yeah well it's because of the tomatoes and the mayonnaise and me. And you were telling us before we started the podcast that you went on a vacation with your dad. Yes, I recently went on a three-week vacation. Three weeks?

Yeah. Just the two of us. Wow. I remember seeing this on your Instagram. Oh, yeah. The lot came up. It's just we're not super close. So this was nice.

All my family is from Italy. Portoli. Yeah. Yeah. Spot on. Actually, a lot of people. Why you not coming to Subway anymore, Jared? Why you not coming to Subway anymore, Jared? Well, that really changed me.

I don't remember what I was... Yeah, but we just stayed together for a lot of it. And we're not super close, so... Are you now? Or has this furthered the divide uh no i think it's just similar okay i don't know a lot of people who are that close with their either of their parents at this far into adulthood yeah like going on vacation close weeks and for two of those weeks we were so in in italy we have lots of places to stay because of family but in uh we were in france for part of that time because we went to the monaco grand prix together

which was like a dream life dream for him probably going with me is not the the dream part but i was the only one who could like take the time off he'd rather go with uh name a race car driver well I was just thinking of somebody who would like hang out in Monaco oh sure Princess Grace yeah Princess Grace

thank you that's exactly who I was thinking of so what is like I know that it's what type of car is it it's Formula One Formula One

okay it's open wheels it's, what type of car is it? It's Formula One. Formula One, okay. It's open wheels. It's an open wheeled racer. This is like one of the big ones in the world. It's huge. And they use the city as a track. Yeah. And it's really tight, so it's hard to pass.

So that's very exciting. Oh, okay. It's really loud, which, I mean, it's really fun. It's great. It's great to be there. You have to, when you get there, because we didn't stay in Monaco, because Monaco is so expensive. We stayed in Nice in one bedroom, and my dad got the big bed. Sounds like you're pretty close with your dad. Oh, and my dad kept, when we were on the street,

he kept referring to terrorist attacks that happened there. Yeah, you know, the big van. Yeah, like one day I was like, oh, where do you want to walk? We had a time of the day. He's like, oh, let's walk down the boulevard. Last night I walked from here all the way down to where that van mowed down all those people. I'm like, oh, let's walk down the boulevard. Last night, I walked from here all the way down to where that van mowed down all those people.

I'm like, you can't say that on the street, dad. Oh, sorry, should I say it in French? L'autre bouse.

So that's, yeah, it's not a good way to like map a place out either. Like turn left where the van killed those people instead of reading happy planet

he's just like well whatever is the most recent thing that happened I hate to be that guy happy planet is a brand of juice oh sorry lonely planet thank you I mean I do hate to be that guy, but I hate to get

the email about it from that guy. Why is it called Lonely Planet? What a sad thing. Yeah, Happy Planet is a better name for that. Lonely Planet

is a better name for the juice. Is it the juice that our mayor used to make? Yes. In his bathtub. And look at him now.

Yeah. Wrong for me. In an outdoor bathtub. And look at him now. Wrong for me. In an outdoor bathtub. From Concentrate. We get Minute Maid and we put it in nicer bottles. And stirred. Every drop touched by the mayor of Vancouver. every drop touched by the mayor of vancouver he really had to win because all his marketing was done for the juice yeah

what is there i've been to nice what is there to do in nice uh uh it was nice i walk around oh i didn't even think that uh yeah it was, you can like sit and eat and walk around. That's all the things that I did. Sit on the rocky beaches. Yeah. See any boobs? Oh, did I see any boobs? No.

No. No. Art museums, anything like that? Galleries? Yeah. Yeah? And I did go to some, but i mean um i would go alone because my dad is not but interested but also even if you're with your soulmate yeah like give

me two hours to myself yeah that was that that yeah it was nice to get away yeah what would uh what would he do if you went off to the gallery? Would he go just stare at cars? Take pictures of where the bus attack was? Yeah. Put them on Google Maps. He would be on his computer. He loves his computer and stuff. And we were both working remotely while we were there. Wow.

So he could just do that. And I don't know, walk around. He likes to tinker with things wherever he is. So probably, I don't't know fix like a dust bin or something oh sure yeah just like a public works probably met up with a tailor a soldier and a spy um did you so this car race so loud and were you there multiple days for it like yes they're qualifying and stuff yeah and we had really close seats for qualifying which um was it was great to be so close but all you do is you see like a color go by for a second and then you hear the sound and then you're like okay i don't know

who that was and there's no tv there was no tv around there oh really yeah so you're literally just waiting for them to pass and that that's the whole spectacle yeah and you kind of have to like like you know the colors of the different uh wind you know the benetton car is green yeah united colors of benetton has a. Yeah. I think they did at one point. What would be a weird, because I'm like always, whenever I watch a little snippet of the car races, I'm always surprised by what sponsors have gotten in there. Especially in Formula One, because there's so much European stuff. So it's like the Tintin car.

Red Bull's doing well. Oh, car. Red Bull's doing well. Oh, yes. Red Bull's on everything. God, is that? That's like a worldwide brand. Everybody knows Red Bull. Yeah. Yeah.

But how? But how? Based on what? It was big before I ever had one. Yeah. But like their cartoon ads are bad. And the product tastes bad. And it makes you feel bad.

Didn't they give people money to shoot themselves into space or out of space? Or into the water or something? Yeah. Shoot yourself from space into the water. No, just to shoot themselves. We'll give you a million dollars if you shoot yourself. I would take that. I would take that bet.

Late capitalism. Yeah, exactly. Just shoot yourself in I would take that. I would take that bet. Late capitalism. Yeah, exactly. Just shoot yourself in the fleshy part of your thigh. And it's going to hurt. It's going to hurt. And we're going to broadcast it. Is that where you'd shoot yourself? Yeah, I think so.

Yeah, that makes sense. Isn't there a big artery in there? Yeah, I wouldn't shoot at that. Do you know where it is? On the right side, I think. Close to the groin. I know you don't side, I think. Close to the groin. I know you don't want to get a bullet anywhere near the groin, so it would go outside thigh.

Right. What would you do? The butt, maybe? I don't know. How would you miss for sure? Well, I'd have to probably get somebody to do it for me. Ah, the million dollars to shoot yourself in the butt. Oh, you got to shoot yourself?

Oh, and you can't grace yourself. Grace? Maybe grace. You can grace yourself grace maybe grace grace you can grace yourself with your presence maybe I'd like squeeze my arm to try to get

like a bullet size oh sure like oh okay you know what you put on a little bit of weight

there we go and then you give yourself a little more to shoot at yeah away from the bone I gotta build so yeah

or lift weights too. You tell people that you're bulking up for a role. The role is I shoot myself for Red Bull. Red Bull giving me a million dollars to shoot myself. It is income. I'm working for it. So it is taxable. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This is part of my process. Yeah, I had to move out of my old apartment because i made too much getting shot by myself for red bull this is a fun thing we invented yeah yeah yeah it's not far off from happening in real life well they yeah so they sponsor that i mean they do the they do the air loop-de-loops. Yeah, that's right, with the airplanes. Yeah, and they were the people who sponsored the guy in the wingsuit who went up into the stratosphere and jumped. Yeah, okay, yeah.

At first I thought you were talking about a magician. Aren't they always, like, wasn't there a magician that was really high up somewhere? Like David Blaine? That's probably who I'm thinking of. Are you thinking of the Walendas? Who always walk across a tightrope somewhere? Oh yeah, I watched a lot.

Why did I watch a whole live thing? And they praised God the whole way? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Across Times Square. Thank you. Thank you so much, God. Thanks for all. Did you watch that too? No, I watched the one on the Grand Canyon. Oh, okay. So they do the same thing every time.

They mutter to God the whole time. She, the woman, Willenda, was wearing a headset and listening to Christian rock and singing along. But we, as the viewer, didn't get to hear what she was hearing. We only got to hear her version. I'd be listening to Rogan. That's about how long it takes to walk across. You want a nice long podcast. So how many days does this car race go on for?

We were there for three days because it's a special car race. So you get to go down to the pits one day and then a lot of the drivers will come out and like sign things or just like wave from the other side of a cement block um and people went wild yeah yeah it was wild to see and i felt so bad because like i like to i like i like to watch it but i'm not a true fan in what sport or in what uh like field would you like to see the you know 10 best at it um nothing nothing maybe base maybe baseball i don't know you wouldn't lose what about magic you're always going on about magic i used to be friends with a lot of magicians in high school. Explain that.

I know. A lot of high school magicians, like teen magicians? Yeah. They just all hung out at the magic shop at Metrotown Mall. And one of my friends knew them. So we always just kind of went there and just hung out with them. At the magic shop? Yeah.

There was a magic shop slash arcade. Yeah. These weren't like 40- old guys no like these were teen 19 okay 17 yeah just lots of magician they're all alternative emo oh sure emo yeah yeah yeah chris angel yeah lots of le chateau outfits vinyl yeah Red ties. Did you ever attempt the dark arts yourself? Oh, no. No? I don't think my hand-eye coordination is good enough.

Yeah, I don't think mine is either. Yeah, I once got a book of card tricks, and I can't even shuffle. Like, to this day, I'm like Margo, Margo started getting into three card Monty. Yeah. She's still working

the boardwalk. Yeah. She started playing Go Fish and I am like, I can't, I can't shuffle. I have to just let go.

Let's just flatten them out. Yeah. Flatten them out on the table. To be fair, those cards are really big them out. Yeah. Flatten them out on the table. To be fair, those cards are really big, right? Yeah.

But I can't do regular ones either. Right. It's funny, like, maybe I could, if I, like, there's a few things

that I just gave up on as a kid and now I'm just, like, not as gangly so I can do things better. Yeah. But, like,

magic was definitely something I thought about when I was a kid and wanted. And I remember reading a book of like how to do elemental tricks. And one of the things was that you had to train yourself to be ambidextrous. So they were like, do daily activities with your non-dominant hand. It'll feel like a stranger's doing it. Yeah, exactly. And I was like like what type of activity

the book says this but i remember trying to eat with my left hand and i'd be like this sucks quit immediately there was a guy i was friends with in high school and he got suspended and during his suspension he came back and he had learned magic. Wow. And he was like, he just like never went to class, sold drugs. But like he, like, I don't know. He just took it upon himself.

This one suspension. I love this story. I wonder what would happen if I got suspended and my parents, well, I mean, your parents were like learn a skill well like no tv yeah it would be oh what am i gonna do with my day if i can't play tv i honestly i would just nap all day yeah i practiced that left hand but the the the narrative of uh kid going away and coming back with some kind of talent. Yeah.

I remember there was a kid, junior high. He went away and he was like, I think his parents got divorced. And he went to go live with the dad for a while. And then he came back and he had super cool clothes. And he had gotten an awesome shape, and he had a tan, and he came back, and he was like, instantly, everybody's like, I guess he's popular now. Wow, that divorce looks great on you.

Yeah, yeah. He went to live with his dad. Well, he went on a three-week trip in Europe with his dad. In the middle of the night, so we would turn off all the lights. I would put my headphones on because it's weird to sleep in the same room as your dad yeah so i was like just put on a podcast try to fall asleep to the history of rome and i just um and but then like five minutes of silence and then to the room i guess he he would be like do you have to die to be a casualty no i was like i don't know i don't know what you want me to say you don't you don't casualties are

death and injuries well i wish i was just thinking about that uh terrorist attack yeah yeah that's what it was and then great and i'm gonna dream about death or injury now but he does a thing where he asks me questions i would not know the answer to and i realize i do it sometimes too and i give me one like um he'll be like we'll be walking around in another country and he'll say what's around that corner i don't know do you want to find out he's like no i was just wondering if you knew how would i know i would i would answer and i'd be like uh circus big big time so i told you to memorize google street view before we went on this walk or in venice google canal view do they do have a little uh gondola with a nine eyed camera they got it

that can't be their only blank spot on the map true it I was looking at a

Google street view of the place that I'm going to play in Winnipeg for the fringe and my friend that does shows

there was standing out in front of it I like that when that happens where is it? Where are you playing? And what you're in Winnipeg right now is this episode. Yeah.

Place called Wee Johnny's. Oh, you love it. I love it. Um, who's standing out front? Tim Gray. Yep. No,

it wasn't Tim Gray. It was, but it was somebody else from the, from the fringe. And I was like, ah, I recognize that guy. Even with the blurred out face.

I saw the Google car of, uh, a few weeks ago and i waved at it from my car and i uh check every day to see if they've updated that street and then i think i saw like the apple car or the i don't even remember the bing car oh yeah the bing car only does every other street i don't even remember where i was so i wouldn't be able to look it up. So you went away on this vacation. What else has been going on? Moved back to the city. Moved back to the city.

I've just been doing lots of shows here, which is really fun. I went to Toronto on my way back. I went to Toronto to Combustion Festival, which is an improv festival in Toronto. It's really fun. Nice. Yeah, it's always nice to see everyone there and do the shows and stuff. Does your dad live here? My dad lives here, yeah, but he...

So you left him when you went to Toronto? Yes. This is where we... He parted ways with me. What's in Toronto? I don't know. This is where I leave you. But my flight got delayed,

and then they had to push it to the next day, which had never happened to me before. They put you in a hotel? Yeah, but for like five hours. Yeah, yeah. In France. I have a question. Okay. I know I keep talking about this trip.

I'm sorry. What's around that corner? Yeah. We've had almost 600 episodes. we've never talked about this trip before so it's okay yeah it's true okay um have either of you been to europe yeah okay you know how they like almost got toilets right but like they're just a little bit off okay there was a comment and that's that they almost got toilets right so they almost got toilets right okay yeah they'll just be like at least in it'll leave something a little off so i went to this

restaurant and i i couldn't i there was no signs about the genders of the bathrooms i didn't know if they cared about that so i went to use the universal bathroom yeah I was like, I'm just going to pop in. It'll be fine. I went in. I did my thing. Then I realized that there was no flusher. Oh. So I could not for the life of me find it, except there was like this pulley string behind me. Oh, God.

Oh, God. And so I thought that that must be it. Oh, God. So I pulled it. And then. Slime. An alarm. An alarm? An alarm went off throughout the entire restaurant.

No! Very loud. No! And a blaring red light outside of where the bathrooms were so the whole restaurant could see. Oh, it was a universal one because that's for if someone has an issue or falls off the toilet. Yeah. So I had to go get my family to get the staff because I didn't know how to explain to them. Mia famiglia.

Cristina, she followed down. Her family just goes over and speaks in English. So it sounds like they got toilets really right it's uh it's got everything it is you're right it is all like everything is different like there's no there's just no continuity between two two bathrooms no like one place will be totally fine one place it'll be like uh you have to pay two euros to go in here one place it'll be be just like a hole in the ground and a bucket. Yeah. Or the sinks will be one hot faucet and one cold faucet and you can't get any warm.

Yes. You have to like. Situation happening. Create a hybrid. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, you're right. There's no, there's no, although the one thing that uh people from europe more than once i've heard this when they come over here is that our toilets have so much

water that's fair and i was like you're right we do that we do have an awful lot of water in our toilet yeah but then when you go to europe it's like you guys have too little yeah like can we meet somewhere in the middle when i went to columbia there's no you you put the toilet paper in the garbage next to the toilet oh and you hope someone comes and gets it put it in the basket you pull a string. An alarm goes off. Someone comes in. Oh man, that is a there's like, I think there's a Farside cartoon where like a guy's walking out of a bathroom and he

didn't wash his hands. And I always as a kid I was like oh man, that really freaked me out. The idea of an alarm going off. So you lived my nightmare. Yeah, and I survived. Yes, so do you. I just idea of an alarm going off so you lived my uh nightmare yeah and i survived yeah yes yeah i um i just started following an instagram of someone who only posts uh farsides that's that's

a that's a goodivist yeah yeah a curator um would you uh would you go back to italy or is that are you done i pretty much go every i try to go every year if i can afford it wow just because just to see family and stuff but you will never go back now i'll never go back I'll never go to the bathroom again. Yeah. You, I mean, you should go to Italy,

but hold it. Um, uh, when you're like, do you stay exclusively with family when you're there? Or do you take a couple of nights at a hotel and then one night with the family? It's always,

cause it's, if I stay with family, it's free. Yeah, they don't charge you. It's very nice. So that's always, I mean, it would be nice to have a few days by myself. I didn't even consider that as an option. Yeah, just like a couple of days is like, you know, decompression. Decompression, yeah.

Because it's a lot. Well, we're going to Montreal. Yeah. And I wanted to stay an extra day so did you not free the festival was like that'll be 200 extra dollars yeah they don't treat you like family

yeah do you want to get a deal with the hotel yeah $200 do you get a deal with the hotel uh yeah two hundred dollars so you were stuck you got stuck in a hotel for five hours yes but yeah but i had stayed in the cheapest possible hostel near the airport the night before so i actually at least i got to like take a shower not in a hallway where people were walking down the halls during the night before so actually at least i got to like take a shower not in a hallway where people were walking down the halls during the night muttering where are all the hot chicks at oh yikes stayed in my room yeah yeah yeah yeah people were muttering oh muttering yeah thank you

god thanks for you protect me oh lord and savior you, God. Thank you for bringing all the hot girls. We're the hot girls in this airport. In this airport hostel. When you stayed at the hotel, did you watch some sort of crazy European television? Oh, no. And were there boobs? There would have been. There would have been, yeah.

I guess I saw marble boobs oh yeah hey that counts yeah yeah you could check it out whoa marvel marvel big fan of the marvel universe um the uh uh was it very hot it wasn't too hot no. No, because I went at the end of May or June. Before they had the hottest day ever in France. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's also hot in Alaska.

Oh, man. Cold here. Yeah. Yeah. Great. Yeah. Today is perfect. Spritzing outside.

Yeah. Love it. Yeah. This is Graham's wearing long pants. Two pairs. Instead of short shorts. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, you guys.

The other day, Abby had to go out of town. So I took a couple days off work to... Well, I was supposed to be working. Yeah, but you just put a dummy there and a snoring sound. Yeah. Dave's always sleeping, but he's here. Yeah. And he's here first. He's last to leave.

But if you open the door too fast, he springs up and everything goes out of place. Speaking of snoring, last night I, you're a big insomniac. Yeah. Last night I did not fall asleep for hours and hours and hours. I'm usually okay. Does it count towards rest if you just have your eyes closed for a long time?

That's the way I treat it. Yeah. Yeah. Like I'm like, because people will say, well say well when you can't sleep why don't you get up and do something i'm like no no no i will literally just lie there and just think about how i'm awake for hours because i am like this counts towards rest even though it's not you know it's good yeah but it's something something at least your body's physically resting. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, I feel like I've heard that that's what, like cavemen and stuff, that's what they used to do for recreation. Like, when they were not hunting or not eating, they would just lie down. The dream. Yeah, exactly. Oh, boy. When's it going to be my turn to be a caveman um so yesterday morning uh i woke up and abby was about to go out of town and i went up went downstairs to get stuff ready for the kids and uh our fridge was broken oh no and our fridge is like

10 months old uh so it doesn't owe you anything it hasn't even had its first birthday so I was like okay the warranty on this is probably alright yeah yeah yeah 10 months but it's like if your fridge is broken if you have an old fridge and it's broken you just call a repairman

and they would come and do it but like if it's through the warranty you just have to wait for the company to do it. But like if it's through the warranty, you just have to wait for the company to do it. Oh yeah. Right. So I, so we pulled the fridge out cause it's on wheels and we have a little beer

fridge. So I took whatever, like some stuff that was going to spoil. I put it in a little battery and I just took all the beer out and chugged it oh this story's turning out all right uh and so and then i like i took a i went downstairs to see if the breaker box had flipped right and it hadn't and i still like i flipped it back and forth just to reset it it's fun to do yeah it's like in jurassic park you know yeah yeah yeah and then i took a like a little uh battery charger and i plugged that in just to see

if the it was working like and so it lit up like the the outlet was working yeah and so i was like okay it must be it's not an electric thing the fridge must be broken and and then i plugged the fridge back in and i could hear it like were in the back but it wouldn't like it wouldn't get cold and it wouldn't the lights wouldn't go on so i called the place that sold it to me and they said okay we'll put a we'll put you on hold for 25 minutes and we're only gonna play one song no it was really weird because they have like four or five different voices that come in like thank you for waiting right did you know that and then a woman's voice hey thanks for and like a voice would interrupt another voice and i was like hey i got something to say and i was like are they it keeps making you think someone's coming to talk to you?

It was the fifth one. I'm like, psych. Yeah. Thank you for calling. How may I help you? No, you're not. No. It's like when someone's voicemail is, uh, hello?

Just kidding. I'm going to bring that back. Um, so I So I, yeah. So I eventually talked to the guy and he was like, okay, we, well, we'll pass along your service request to the manufacturer. Oh, wow. And you'll hear back about service in 48 business hours. Oh, Jesus. That's not good.

This was Thursday, Thursday morning. So I was like, I'm not going to find out until maybe Monday morning about an appointment. Like, I'm not getting an appointment. I'm finding out about an appointment. Yeah. And also, what are the hours that you keep? And they're like, yep, six hours. Don't think these are eight hour days.

And I was also like, so is 48 business hours six days or two days? So I was also like so is 48 business hours six days or two days um so i it nothing happened everything and i threw out everything in the freezer yeah um was there some stuff in there where you're like oh i didn't know we had this it was actually kind of helpful yeah yeah well i mean like one Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, well, I mean, like, one Eggo from six months ago. Oh, yeah, when Stranger Things 2 came out. So I was happy about that. But I also could only deal with this in, like, the two hours that the kids were at their little camps. Their day camps, because otherwise I was dadding. I had to take the kids to Europe.

Well, any car race will do, Dave. Oh, dadding. I had to take the kids to Europe. Well, any car race will do Dave. Oh, darn it. In a pinch, any car race will do. Uh, and so then I like,

I was like, you know what? People sometimes get mad at on Twitter at like airlines and they're, you know, if they have a following or if they're verified, then they, they get what they want. Right.

Because the company doesn't want the bad press right or like just people seeing these tweets and so i tweeted at lg canada hey uh you sold me a lemon and it's gonna take this long to fix it and i have to throw away all this food they were like lg stands for lemon grande so up yours pal and they told me to call their line and i was like i have i hadn't but i had been told that my request had been forwarded to them so the next day friday morning after i had spent the night throwing out food the whole night it took like an hour to like okay this can this can go, this goes in the compost, the box goes in here. And there was stuff like moving stuff from the fridge to the little fridge.

So I called them the next morning during my two hour window. And the guy was like, well, we have your service request. It says someone's coming today. And I was like, oh, well, no one told me. And he said, okay, well, just let me double check on that. Okay, I double checked two to three days. It'll be two to three days until we can get the part. And I was like, what part?

How do you even know? How do you know what's happened? I can just sense it. And he said, well, have you tried plugging other things into the wall to see if it works? And I was like, yep. Have you tried using an extension cord to see if you can plug the fridge in somewhere else and i was like yep i had not oh yeah that is a good tip meanwhile i'm like bad mouthing lg canada on twitter

and like well this is terrible customer service. So have you been closing the fridge doors? I mean, not all the time. I have to throw away so much food. And, you know, what a waste. What a waste. You should know. You're a refrigerator company. You should know how long food can last and not make me wait two to three days.

I'm so mad at them on the Internet. And then I go home and i plug a plug an extension cord it's fine so then i just like i went downstairs and to the breaker box and I flipped it again and it worked this time. So now everything's back to normal. I bought so many popsicles. I gotta fill up that freezer

again. But LG does not know that it works yet. So I still have like a move to make on Monday. Because their customer service is bad. They don't know that my fridge is okay. That's true. But it was good in that they gave you possible solutions over the phone.

I guess. Oh, yeah. That's pretty good. Their Twitter guy seems pretty smarmy. I don't like that. What's this part? Now that you know it's done, it's fixed. Yeah.

I wonder what the part's going to be. It's probably just, that's just lingo for, we'll plug it into the other outlet. The part is on its way. It's an extension cord. So I feel like a fool. But at least your fridge works. My fridge works. And, you know, I did clean out the freezer in a good way.

Yeah. Because, like, that's something I've been meaning to do for quite a while. And it will have to take some kind of emergency. Yeah, yeah. Before that happens. And it was nice to just, like, know I had to have takeout. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, man. I just remember, like, as a kid, if there was a thing like my mom would be like coming home late for work or whatever i was like hey just those those incidents where you're like no this for sure somehow feels like pizza yeah yeah yeah oh he's had a bad day yeah perfect oh mom and dad are going out oh okay so they're gonna leave you know 15 on the mantle yeah yeah yeah that'll do the trick um yeah well i'm glad that your fridge is all right yeah me too feel real cool about it i have the other like like a couple of weeks ago, I tried stuffing too much stuff in my freezer. My freezer has really become more of a pre-compost hangout. Yeah.

I totally understand what you mean. Yeah. Like it's not, nothing in there is food anymore. I mean, it was at some point, but as I'm like, I'll just put it in the freezer. And the other day, like, it wasn't quite closed. And then I came back hours later and, like, I was, like, open it up and there was just this gush of water came out of the freezer. I was like, oh, no, my freezer's broken. I left a Subway in there.

The moistest sandwich is around. You thought your freezer was broken? I thought it was broken but then i was like oh i've just stuffed too much garbage in my freezer i did have a couple things as i was emptying out my freezer i was like uh shame i have to throw away like 14 worth of shrimp yeah and also the compost truck came and took away compost away this morning. So it's going to be in there all week. I have to just throw all this like old food just to sit in my backyard for a week. Yeah.

Hopefully the sun comes out. Yeah. Really toasts it. And I did kind of like there were a few like I had these dumplings. And I was like, I bought them. I thought they would be good. But I never got around to eating them. And so at, I bought them. I thought they would be good. I never got around to eating them. And so at midnight I cooked them. Nice.

Yeah. That sounds kind of fun. Yeah, it's great. I recommend everyone be dumb. Unplug your fridge. Yeah, go through your fridge. Burn your bra.

unplug your fridge burn your bra so yeah that's me doping being a big dope yeah that's fine you did all the right steps I do know I do wonder if I have like a card

to play with LG maybe get a free ice cube tray something like that I do know, I do wonder if I have like a card to play with LG. Maybe get a free ice cube tray, something like that. Maybe I'll just be like, well, okay, when they call and they're like, we're ready to send a person. No, I don't want it anymore. Yeah, now it's too late. Yeah. I fixed it myself. Yeah.

You missed your shot with me. Yeah. Better like next time. How are you? Oh, I'm fine. It's the beginning of July, so Stranger Things 3 has just come out. So I'm catching up with Eleven and the gang. You know, super spooky times in the city of Hawkins, I think it's called.

Have you watched this? I've watched the first two seasons, but I didn in the city of Hawkins. I think it's called. Have you watched this? I've watched the first two seasons, but I didn't know the third was out. Third just came out. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Fourth.

We call it the fourth. And, uh, uh, you know, it's the same, same as the other seasons. Oh yeah.

Some spookies going on. Is Winona Ryder still in it? Yep. Winona Ryder. Top billing. Oh, boy. Still top billing. And then the sheriff guy, number two.

David Harbour. And Jake Busey is in this season. Oh, nice. Spooky Busey. And he plays a real jerk. It's great. It's just great to see him back. Oh, yeah.

He would be a good 80s jerk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a real Kiefer Sutherland stand-by-me type. Yeah. He plays a perfect jerk in it. The guy who plays, he was in season two. He was like the handsome older brother of the girl with the red hair. Barb?

Not Barb. She died in the first season. Spoiler. Oh, the skater the red hair. Barb? Not Barb. She died in the first season. Spoiler. Oh, the skater girl. Yeah. And he's sort of like kind of a bad boy, but like a vampire bad boy. He's very much like Kiefer Sutherland in the show.

He's the real tough guy. Also, Kiefer Sutherland maybe is playing a rock concert here. Oh, during the BNE or something? No, like just independent. But yeah, around that same time. He's like on tour as a musician. They'll have like during when the fair is on, they'll get, you know, they'll get 90s night with Salt-N-Pepa.

The Bacon Brothers. And then they'll get the Bacon Brothers. Or, no, they haven't gotten 30-odd for the grunt. But there's been another, like, does Kevin Costner sing or like some actor band. Also, like, Jeremy Renner has an album out. Oh, did you hear that song? No. Is it good?

That's my character who can't read people's faces at all oh is it that good i mean he's good as hawkeye uh i it's it's no it's it's like you can it sounds like he financed this himself as a dream yeah yeah which is maybe so do uh so does every independent musician yeah that's true which is fair yeah it's just not my uh not my what kind of music is it it's like uh oh man have you heard it no but, but I've seen. I haven't heard about it. I saw the album cover, and it's him getting out of like a 50s car, and it's very moody. Yeah. The lighting is very moody. It's like old rock, but sort of like an old U2-ish vibe, but not good.

So stressed out about what this music is. Yeah. But I feel like a lot of. He's not listing. No, he stopped listing like 40 episodes ago. But there is, there's this kind of group of actor guys,

mostly guys from the 80s. They don't have this like blues rock thing that they agree yeah and uh keifer's yeah he's on tour and he's like i saw on twitter it was like come out i'll share some memories we'll sing some songs we'll have some drinks and i'm like i think he's drinking a lot these days yeah we'll share some memories are you just doing like Jeremy Piven at Yuck Yuck why doesn't Jeremy Piven put out a musical album why isn't

Kiefer Sutherland's band playing Yuck Yuck like it's just like it's not quite stand up it's not quite storytelling it's just you get to take

a picture with me and you know god can I name a Formula One race who won the race Hamilton And, you know, God, can I name a Formula One race? Who won the race? Hamilton, who is, like, incredible. He's so good.

Oh, wow. Nice. He wins every race. Oh. Yeah, pretty much. Is he American? British. Yeah.

British. And then there's one Canadian, and he is always around 15th, 17th. Just puttering. Stroll. Yeah. British. And then there's one, there's one Canadian and he is always around 15th, 17th. Just puttering. Stroll. Yeah. Stroll. Lance. It's because like in golf, there's like all the, they're all like individuals. And so they, like the rich ones, like the winners get all this money and their sponsors fly them to the next

thing and but like if you're like 50th best in in golf you're barely making a living oh really yeah and you're paying your own way places oh i thought i i always was under the but in in racing i bet it's not the case yeah i bet you still make're still making good money. Yeah, yeah. At least you're not paying your way. Yeah, but you do have to pay your car's way. But you wouldn't be allowed to live in my old place. You'd make more than that. That's right. Oh, well, maybe on the top, the nicest suite.

Yeah. How do they get the cars from place to place? Boat. But that's so slow. There's like a race every couple weeks. Yes, they take them apart and put them back together, fly them, cargo. Maybe they fly them cargo, but I think like a lot of it's boat. Like people that sail, that sail in different regattas and stuff around the world. They ship them by boat.

Like they don't sail them from place to place, but they do put them on a boat. But the, um, I guess like in North America, you can like, if you're just, you can put them in the back of a 18 wheeler or whatever.

Yeah. Australia. Yeah. How do you get from continent to continent? Helicopter. Um, so you're seeing, you're watching stranger things how is it how far are you uh maybe three episodes in and uh there's there's some some pretty heavy foreshadowing in the the first episode that kind of lets you know what's gonna what's coming and uh uh so it's good it's a focuses a lot on the mall it's very nostalgic uh because uh you probably could

have shot it in one of those dead malls yeah yeah i feel like maybe it was because this mall set is so perfect um but i watched that theth of July just happened, so I watched the fireworks on television. No. Which fireworks? The, whatever, NBC's Fireworks Spectacular. It was so dumb. Was it good? It was really good.

It's very dumb to watch fireworks on television. Oh, yeah. it's not that undumb to watch them in person that's true but at least you're out and getting some fresh air like i don't watch the fireworks every year because we have a big fireworks spectacular here yeah but every few years like if you revisit it they get better over time they come up with new they get better over time they come up with new explosions yeah like they had uh the whole brooklyn bridge was outfitted with like so there was like what kind of waterfalls of fireworks that's cool like all the fireworks were cool but i was like this is the least cool way of watching them is via television with two people that are trying to be like Dick Clark,

but I don't know who they are, you know, two announcer people that were okay with working on the 4th of July, I guess. And then they would throw to some singer that I've never heard of, but everybody in the audience was singing along with. So they'd be like, you know, here singing is a number one hit single, uh,

Khalid. And then they'd go and Khalid would sing and everybody would love it. But I was like, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. Bring me post Malone or nothing. Post Malone.

He's always tired. Isn't that what his tattoos say? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you, we don't really do much for the 4th of July here in Canada. No. We notice our, the internet slows down. Yeah. Content kind of goes to a crawl.

Yeah. And like, you know, Twitter's full uh people who uh either are celebrating or like you shouldn't celebrate there's a lot of that um you know what i did what's that it's like a feather in my cap call the macaroni do you want to know why i mean you can do it all day but the thing about the the fireworks they were set to music right and so yeah at first it was just like uh it was patriotic melody and so it was just like kind of like kind of american sounding bandstand kind of music. Then it started playing theme songs from famous movies.

Okay. And then I was like, okay, but each theme song has to be more firework-esque than the last. Yeah. And then,

so it was like it slowly built you know, it was Star Wars, right? And then, what do you follow Star Wars with? Indiana Jones?

That's what I thought it was going to be. Superman. It's just John Williams. Yeah, it was. And then what did it go to? Then it went down and now I got to cut loose. Foot loose. That would have been the best.

If that was the ultimate song. Yeah. Or what's the one from Caddyshack? I'm alright. No, it just, then it went back to patriotic again. Yeah, so it was kind of a letdown. It was like, it was building and building and building, and I was like, but what can top Superman?

Nothing, it turns out. They just go back to the patriotic medley and uh and then you know i think the last song was whatever just from sea to shining sea you know that one america the great whatever it's called yeah i guess america the beautiful america the beautiful yeah i guess that's not their national anthem. No. No, and the national anthem wasn't a part of it. Why would it be? Yeah, get everybody to stand.

They're all sitting on their picnic blankets. But every so often they would show somebody in the crowd and I don't know if the cameraman just wasn't doing his job

but either it would go to a shot that was out of focus or it would go to somebody who was not interested in the fireworks. Just making the most like, oh, looking at their phone. Thinking about how hard it's going to be to get home. Yeah. Thinking about where do we park.

Yeah. Boy, why did we drive here? We're never going to get out of here. The roads are closed. So I did that. It was very dumb. Very dumb thing to do. One time I went down to see the fireworks up close in English Bay.

Have you done it? Oh, yeah. Oh, a lot. As kids, we would bike there. Like we'd drive out from where I'm from, Burnaby, and then we would bike from somewhere in the city to somewhere far away. So it would be easy to drive home. We'd bike to the beach and sit there and watch.

Wow. The one time I went, it was, I took the bus and I didn't know the buses didn't go the whole way. I know they close roads to cars, but I was like, well, certainly they'll let buses through. They let this one van through and it just drove over. It was a terrorist. Oh, no. At least you knew where you were. Yeah.

The bus went all the way? No, they stopped the bus like halfway down Daly. Oh, boy. Oh, so you had to walk? Yeah. That's a long walk. Back up. i don't remember so wasted i remember like when i lived in the west end you lived in the west end yeah yeah yeah

what a long time ago and before you knew me yeah yeah and uh i don't like this chapter of your life. I was at the store, and I didn't know that, like, I completely forgot that it was fireworks. And as I walked out of the store, fireworks had just ended. And there was just this push of people down. And everybody walking down the middle of the street. It was like a horror movie. It's just like, oh, I'm only two blocks away from where I live, but I cannot get there. What I love about local media, I watch the local news as often as I can. And I love how predictable everything is.

I know that if it snows, they're going to go down to the public works yard and the guys are going to talk about how much salt the city has and how the plows are going to be moving and after every fireworks i know we're gonna get here from the like chief of police saying how many liquor pour outs there were and how many stabbings our liquor pour out to stabbing ratio was perfect this year. It was one-to-one. That's the only, at the fireworks as a teen, is the only place where someone that I was with smashed a bottle on a log and was going to go after someone with it and fight. I didn't think that happened in real life and in public.

Yeah, I keep doing it in your house. Yeah. Yeah, keep doing it in your house. I always figured that if I did that, that just the handle would, like I wouldn't get any stabbing. The handle's stabby enough. I guess, yeah. But I, you know, like. You'd like to have it extend a bit. Yeah, yeah.

So that I'm not like right in. Ew, blood. I got my thumb pinched between the sharp bit and your ribs. Where do you go for on that? Ribs? Belly? Yeah. You go underhand.

No, I would just swipe side to side. Oh, get away. Get away. Oh, you're doing it defensively? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, get out of here. Yeah, so I watched the watch the fireworks and and also my favorite uh new bar in vancouver shutting down yeah oh i never got to go it was so much fun all the drinks have like dry ice in them

or something yeah a lot of them have dry it was a spooky bar it was a spooky bar and every every uh drink has like a little story. There's a whole narrative to the place of the baron was killed by his wife and poisoned. Every once in a while, all the lights flicker and this haunted music plays. Yeah, it was fun. Why did it close down so quick? I don't know. Because every time I went, it was packed.

So I don't, I don't time I went, it was packed. So I don't, I don't, I mean, the city's goths were keeping it. You know, this was, this was the place for that. A lot of them are straight edge though. Maybe that's it. Would you ever want to, sorry, am I touching you? No. Okay. This must be a leg-like piece of this table.

Do you, would you ever want to open your own bar? That seems to be a thing people do when they win the lottery and they're alcoholics. I mean, I've definitely been in bars where the bartender's kind of getting drunk over the course of the night. And I'm like, that seems fun. Seems like a fun way to pass a night away. Yeah, maybe. It would definitely, if I had a bar, I would try and theme it up.

Based on the Disney cartoon Tailspin. Tailspin themed bar. That gets impressed. Is that the one with Launchpad McQuack? McDuck? Yeah, there's like Baloo. Oh, it's got, yeah,

the Jungle Book. Yeah, the Jungle Book crew is now running an air delivery service. Yeah, they're couriers. They bring Formula One cars to their

destinations. And fridge parts. Your fridge part was coming by boat for sure. I'm just picturing if the repairman showed up if he was like kind of a character guy and just was like, this is a nice, what a beauty. This, oh man.

Slaps the back of it they don't make them like this anymore 10 months old there isn't even an ipad in this thing oh man this is not even a camera taking your picture for the surveillance state. I can put one in if you want. So, yeah, your poor bar. How many times have you been? Yeah, I went maybe five or six times. It wasn't open very long.

Yeah, in like eight months. Yeah. And so I went for one last drink there. One last spooky drink. Did they give it like a tail or is it closed now? No, it's closed like, yeah, this weekend. Closed. Yeah.

And then maybe they'll do something else with it. I don't know. But done. No more spooky bar. Yeah. It's a shame when somewhere closes and just like they don't put something new in right away yeah yeah or they put in something where it's just like you know uh crown optical or something yeah this isn't gonna be my local

i mean sure i'll go to try on some frames and see. Or like it's just the showroom for the condos above. Yeah. Oh, that is probably the biggest bummer of what you could put or an elections office. Yeah. Then it just stays that like vote for this person, even though it's been abandoned forever. Well, that's always there's a building in my neighborhood that I think is five businesses. And I assume they're going to tear it down because two of the businesses have closed. Right.

And nothing new is going in. I think everyone's lease just ends at different times. Right. So the remaining three businesses will eventually close. And then it'll be condos. Yeah. The condos with like some weird it's always like the stuff in the the bottom the storefront stuff is never a thing that you want yeah it's never like

no mom and pops open up in those like new buildings yeah it's always just like some weird and it's like a weird chain that you've kind of heard of. Yeah. It's like. Nesters. Yeah, or mucho fajita or something like that. Yeah. Freshie. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I guess I'll get a kale wrap. We're like Warby Parker, but we're Australian. But we're Australian. Do we want to move on to some business? Yeah. And if not, then overheard. All right. Overheard.

Overheard's segment. The show dedicated to all those fantastic things out there in the world you can hear and then absorb into your brain, keep them there, and then vomit them out here on the podcast. We always like to start with the guests. Christine, would you lead the charge? Okay, so I was

on the train from Nice to Monaco and there was this older guy sitting with, I guess, some friends. He was going to the race as well. And he was talking to his friends and he was explaining about how he got a ticket last time he had come because he didn't pay for one. He didn't buy one. And then the guard that was checking the tickets told him he needed to buy one. the guard that was checking the tickets told him he needed to buy one.

And then he said to them, well, how was I supposed to know that? And then the guard said, well, everything here, well, it's written everywhere that you need to have a ticket to be on this.

And then he said, yeah, but everything here is written in gobbledygook. And then his friend said, you mean French? And he went, yep. French slash gobbledygook is our two official languages. In France. Yeah, in France.

I mean, that's as good a defense as I've ever heard of somebody who hasn't paid to be on transit. I didn't understand the signs. Not guilty, Your Honor. I'm dumb. I recognize a lot of these letters. What can I say? I'm dumb. Your Honor.

As you can see, I put my pants on backwards. I'm an idiot. I'm a simple man. See, I put my pants on backwards. I'm an idiot. I'm a simple man. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you think they got a jury for this? He opens up his briefcase.

All these graham crackers fall out. You see, I'm an idiot. I filled my briefcase with sand. The dumb defense um speaking of gobbledygook uh margo who's four and a half almost five now uh is very interested in the fact that people speak other languages oh yeah and she will just start a conversation with me and she's dead you speak a different language too and i'll i can speak french i just do that and But because she wants her, whatever I'm saying, to be distinct from the nonsense she's making.

You can't just repeat back what she said. Anyway, we can't do it outside the house because I'm afraid she'll get canceled. Margot's been canceled before. She's climbed her way back. Yeah, that's true. She tweeted a heartfelt apology. Yeah, that's true. She tweeted a heartfelt apology. Yeah, that's right.

She went on extra. Yeah. To the people of gobbledygookladesh. Dave, do you have it over? Yeah. I'm looking at my phone as if it has the answers um a couple weeks ago I told a story about going to America

during the game 6 of the NBA finals oh yes by Kawhi by Kawhi and the um on the way back I just saw a sign there's a lot of farmland out in the South of, uh, South of Vancouver by the border. And as I was driving back, I saw a sign for a place that had buzzard and flamingo rentals.

Cool. Whoa. I hope live. Yeah. Why not? Weddings and funerals. Yeah. like i lay a bunch of flamingo corpses on my grave uh i've got this big ox that died on my property so if you can bring over some vultures clean them up yeah i want to send someone a bad omen

uh yeah like my wife specifically said she didn't want me to get 40 pink flamingos those plastic flamingos on her lawn for her birthday but i found a loophole you know i was reading about the guy who uh created that the plastic flamingo and he wears uh every day he wears pink and he wears the exact same outfit as his wife uh and has done for like 40 years he's a real character he's still alive still alive oh boy are they twins uh him and his wife yeah like do they now look alike i didn't see a picture of his wife but uh one's got to assume that if they're dressing the same. Yeah. Same haircut. Same haircut. The couple with the same haircut. That's a special couple.

Yeah. It's a, yeah. I'd love to get an invite. You know, hang out. Still waiting on that invite. Guy who invented the pink flamingo. Classic pink flamingo. What's up with you?

Overheard wise. what's up with you overheard wise I was overhearing two ladies on the bus one talking about getting collagen injections in her arms so she can shoot herself for Red Bull money

brilliant and her friend said like it seemed it seemed like the type of question I would also ask. But she said, yeah, I've been getting, I do collagen injections in my arms. And her friend said, does it make your arms sexy? I was like, yeah, yeah, that's what I want to know.

But, yeah, anyways, that was my overheard was her saying, does it make your arms sexy? But does it? Collagen in your arms? Where would you normally put collagen? Your face. Your lips. Your lips or all over? Maybe in your forehead. Or is it just generic filler?

It's a plumper, right? Yeah, and I think you could put it in your cheeks. Put a little collagen in and around the eyes. It's not... Botox is like paralyzes you right yeah yeah yeah take away the lines and stuff yeah and but collagen it gets reabsorbed just into the body yeah after a little while it must yeah like you don't have to have it removed later yeah yeah and you like you can't over maybe i have no idea if you can overdose on it maybe everybody's putting it in

their arms maybe that's the way that you get it into your, maybe you don't inject it right into your lips. Maybe you put it in your arms and it travels up to your lips. Oh, sure, yeah. You got a tourniquet going and put a belt around your arm. It's been recommended to me that you ingest collagen to get nice hair and stuff. But maybe she's trying to look like really strong in the arms for a bit. Right. I don't know. Maybe. Why would you want some sort of like a plumper? Yeah. I don't know. But maybe you just maybe that's where

yeah, I don't know. Like you eat collagen? Yeah, like a powder. Huh. I bought some but it doesn't make your stomach sexy? See? That's a question I would ask. It makes your stool sexy? I'm just going to look up what collagen is. None of us know. So what was the response? Or did they not respond? They didn't really respond to that line of questioning.

But she also didn't respond with the answer of why she was. So I had missed the lead up. Right. Like, obviously, this was the end of the thought was like, oh, for that, I put collagen in my arms. Right. Like, she's not going to say it again why she doesn't. Collagen is the main structural protein in the extracellular space in the various connective tissues in the body. So it's already in the body.

Oh, okay. Something your body uses anyway. Yeah. Okay. The main component of connective tissue, it's the most abundant protein in mammals. And not in me. Making 25% to 35% of the whole body. Okay.

It consists of amino acids wound together to form triple helices of elongated fibrils. Huh. Can you scroll down to the part about arms? It's mostly found in fibrous tissue, such as tendons, ligaments, and skin, and the arms of a lady on the train. Huh. Huh. Yeah, I don't know a lot about the human body other than who's got a rock in one. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And who's got the rock in his body at the moment? It's probably... At the moment? It's probably still Steven Tyler, right? Yeah, he's good. Or Joe Perry. Yeah, or Joe Pesci. Or Daniel Sturt.

Those are the top four. That's the Mount Rushmore of rockin' bots. Yeah, it just breaks out instead of faces, it's abs. For a long time, it was the situation. He was really showing everybody. Is he in jail? Yes. What? Or on his jail? Yes. What?

Or on his way to jail. Why? Tax evasion. Whoa. All right. That makes sense. He's an absman. He doesn't know.

He doesn't know from taxes. All my axes live in taxes. Now, we also have overheards sent in to us via email. If you want to send one in, you can send sent in to us via email. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Sam FC in San Francisco. Ah, Sam. Fighting championship.

Or football club. Standing in line in a grocery store near the ballpark that was filled with baseball fans buying drinks and snacks for a game in front of me four women in their 20s were each separately buying a single container of alcohol a 20 ounce beer a can of wine etc one gets their attention and says okay if you could only eat one meal for the rest of your life, what would it be? And you can't say, like, Mexican food. You'd have to say, like, enchiladas. A second says, sushi. First one laughs and says, no, that's too broad. A third one says, sandwiches?

First one, no, you'd have to specify which type of sandwich. So one of them asks the first one, well, what would yours be? And she says, enchiladas. Enchiladas are the subway of Mexican food. They're wet the whole time. They are. Yeah, it's true. If you're ever in the desert and you're running out of liquid,

eat an enchilada. Just ring out an enchilada into your... Canteen. Into your canteen. A person just really wanted somebody to ask, what's your favorite food? Have you had enchiladas lately? I had one. I've had one within the last six months when you have one do they come out of a pan with many or like are they made in a batch and you get one of them oh like is enchilada like a thing that you get a piece of yeah or is it i always think it's its

own thing okay but you're right it could be just out of a giant pot labeled enchilada. Because like a lasagna, at home you would make a whole one and give yourself a piece. In a restaurant, they'd make you your own little one. That's right. Yeah. But I don't think I've ever had an enchilada outside of the school cafeteria. Yeah, I mean, I think that it's a separate, I'm going to gonna say it's a separate you get your own enchilada okay it's not part of a big but if you're at home probably out of a bigger enchilada

make enchilada for the week oh or many in the same uh batch yes yes exactly do you ever do that make like a big batch or something and eat it for the whole week? I make lasagnas, but that's it. Yeah. Pretty much. That's great. That's great. That's like the number one thing to make and then like reheat and eat it. Oh, you know what I made?

We got an instant pot at Christmas and I've used it like three times. But I made beans out of dried beans. Oh. Were they good? What kind of bean? Pinto. Ooh. I made them with, I'll have to look into how to make other kinds of beans.

I was like, I know at Chipotle they make beans, pinto beans with bacon. And so that's what I did. Yeah. But I bet you could do it without bacon probably. Yeah. Yeah. You know, any of the, you know, like a baked bean. Yeah.

Delicious. This next one comes from David from Toronto. Hi. I was at a 90s themed outdoor party and concert just outside of Toronto. I heard someone in a fenced off area say i've never heard of s club can you imagine the seven of them yeah oh yeah i remember the s when they did it with their finger in the sky they were like the monkeys they were like the monkeys i think i don't that was something i didn't really watch i for some reason did and hmm why did i watch it yeah because it was on yeah that's

why because it was on and i'll watch fireworks on television i think it was on yeah i just didn't have like it was one of the two years where i just didn't watch much tv yeah i had to share one with roommates yeah yeah it wasn't good. No. Or maybe it was. I don't know. No? I feel like they're pretty boring people. Like the characters. Wasn't one of them a white supremacist?

Whoa. Not the character. Interesting choice. The cute one. The musical one. A white supremacist. Do you remember any of the songs other than S Club? Ain't nobody like an S Club party oh no i don't if you

want to be my lover yeah bienvenido amy amy i've been watching that music video channel all the time no yeah me too they replay the weirdest ones a lot. Like that Miami Will Smith one gets played more than any. I don't think they play any other Will Smith song. Oh, not true. I saw Jiggy with it. What I want to see is the Men in Black. Oh, yeah. And the alien comes and does the dance with them.

Oh, the sexy dance? I didn't think it was sexy. Oh, really? Well, I agree with Christine. It is sexy. Anything Will Smith does with an alien is sexy. This last one comes from Dennis from Toronto. I was walking into a grocery store on Front Street in Toronto when a guy making his way out of the grocery store said to himself,

I got to go back in there and pet that dog. I'm going to be late all day now. I'm going to miss my flight. Got to do what I got to do though. Yeah. Yesterday, Margo, Margo has learned to bike without training wheels already.

Yeah. Holy cow. Uh, she needs a lot of help, uh, and she's not good at stopping and, uh, just to let her go. And then all of a sudden she'll be on the tour de France. It's kind of horrible because I have to run alongside her for as long as she wants to bike. So it looks like she's training you for an upcoming match.

Yesterday there was a dog in the middle of the alleyway and it just like stopped, came up to us and Margo stopped and the dog just laid down in front of her. I think this dog wants us to pet it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dogs are, cats will let you know. They'll let you know that they want to pet. Like dogs are a little bit more. Well, they're usually not running around everywhere. That's true. They're not let out

of the yard. Why not? Why not? Why can't we just have dogs running around like we have cats running around? That would be great. It would be great. I mean, would it? I don't know. Yeah. But would it be great or would it be scary? Yeah, it would be scary.

And there would just be poo everywhere. Yeah. In addition to poo, we also accept poo phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's 1-UGH-SPY-7631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people have. Hi, Dave and Graham.

This is Josh from Canberra. I just overheard a middle-aged man walk into a barbershop and say, I've never been here before. And quite honestly, I don't know what it is. You blokes do. So I think I found an alien man. Anyway, have a good one. See you. Bye.

Bye. But, like, if you never told me what a dry cleaner was, I would never know what that was. Yeah, but would you walk in and be like, I don't get it. Look, I don't know what you guys. Yeah, but would you walk in and be like, I don't get it. Look, I don't know what you guys do, but I'm here for it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know.

Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn't. That guy seemed really bold. Graham, not to throw shade, you look like you don't know what a barber does. That's true. Alright, next phone call. I'm alienid gramuel and uh what the hell the guest to whoever you are i have a overheard of the summer fun variety i was at an outdoor festival they have a lot of them you know this time of year and a couple of certified dudes

walked by me maybe guys in their early 30s late 20s, and I overheard one of them say the other. So let's talk about it. What kind of slaw guy are you, man? You sweet slaw guy? The other guy turns to him and says, bro, you know me. I'm sweet all day long. Anywho, that's it. All right, let's talk about it.

You're marrying my sister, so let's get this all on the table. What type of slaw guy are you? What kind of types of slaw are there? There's like the real like, there's like the vinegary slaw. Yeah, that wouldn't be sweet. There's the mayonnaise-y. Is that sweet? No, but that's the one that I'm like, woo-hoo.

And then there's like one that has raisins in it sometimes. What? Yeah. They're all coal. Yeah, they're, absolutely. what type of slaw guy are you coal it's also my favorite spruce what uh what type of slaw guy are you i don't know what sweet would sweet one also be vinegar based maybe yeah i don't know slaw you don't know from slaw yeah i like all slaws yeah i like that neon green stuff used to be able to get from kfc yeah yeah i dream of that

slaw i don't want to go into kfc and get it but would you accept it if i bought it for you yeah but it's like they divide the money up when you buy buy something from KFC if you buy chicken they keep pouring that money into beakless

GMO chicken but if you buy slaw they are all that slaw money goes right to a beautiful farm a beautiful farm where cabbages run free

right next to a nuclear plant. That's why it's so green. Have you watched, I started watching Chernobyl. Oh, I've heard it's really good. I haven't seen it. It's really good. Yeah. I've only watched the first two episodes.

No one warned me for how much barfing there would be. Yeah. The fourth is the most brutal in my opinion. So be aware. Okay. I cried the most in that episode did you cry in every episode um no not every episode but i cry a lot i mean like i'm i feel bad for characters a lot yeah but are you sad um no in general no maybe that's how i get it out yeah that's a healthy

outlet yeah yeah yeah i think so instead of uh you know, just freaking out for a big presentation. I just assume that's what everybody does for work. Yeah. Big presentations. Big presentations. Sure. Well, you got to line that account. Yes.

Oh, what about pickles? Sweet or sour? Oh, I'll get them any which way. Yeah, same. I can get them, yeah. Any. What about you? I think I like sweet.

I prefer sweet. I like those tiny ones. Oh, yeah, sure. Cornishel. Final overheard. Hi, Dave and Graham. It's John from Austin, Texas. And guest, I guess.

I'm at a brewery and a group of middle-aged women next to me said, I forgot to tell you my big news. And I said, what? They said, guess who came out? And everyone in the group said, Justin?

And she said, nope, not Justin. It was Dave. And everyone in the group said Justin? And she said nope, not Justin. It was Dave. And everyone in the group went Dave! Maybe it's Justin's time. Justin's sitting at the table.

Everybody knows. Isn't that weird that everyone knows? I mean, in his own time, but we know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's just very funny that more than one person was like, Justin?

Yeah. I vote Justin. Well, that brings us to the end of this here podcast. Christine, thank you so much for being our guest. Thank you so much for having me back. Always. What would you like to plug? What do you got coming up in August?

There's a festival in Vancouver called the Unibrow Festival, and I'm going to be doing a couple of shows during that. So come to those. Where's that? I have one little mountain gallery, one at the biltmore maybe who knows what else i've agreed to and i don't remember yeah yeah yeah um but yeah check uh at the only borderland on instagram and uh twitter and then i'll post about it but i'm also in toronto from the 8th to the 13th of august and i'm gonna be doing some shows there too so nice cool you are also in uh my other podcast this is serious which wrapped up

you are the titular character missing melissa in season two missing melissa wow which means you're in about 10 seconds of the whole show. But those 10 seconds, top notch. No, you're probably in a minute of the whole show. It's great. She's notoriously missing. So we can't have much of her. And you know what?

Some people, that 10 seconds, that's the only roll they remember from the whole thing. You know? Yeah. Like the guy in uh oh brother where are thou that says stay out of the woolworths i'll remember his face forever that's his only line that lady whose uh baby was going down the stairs of the untouchables yeah it's the chicago way she said yeah no small roles no small roles you also do a show occasionally with aaron Aaron Reed that we were talking about beforehand.

Speaking of being an, I think I saw an alien man. Tell me what this show is and what, I just love it so much. It's so hard to describe. It's like, well, there's standup involved. What's it called? It's called Hell Night with gorbman and aaron and uh aaron reed uh plays uh himself and i play an alien uh his roommate as an alien that's going to eat him whole on stage if he doesn't enter get entertained um so there's like all these psychedelic nightmare type bits that come up because Gorb Min is the name of the character

and he brings his own guests on to try to show what true entertainment is and they're just real screwed up. It's great. So we'll do it in September or something. Do it again.

Do it again. That sounds great. Do it again. Do it again. Yeah. Um, uh, that sounds great. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and, uh,

yeah, you, uh, this very week we'll be in, uh, Montreal at the just for laughs festival, uh, with our special guest,

the green blob character. Yeah. Victor. Yeah. Um, no word on a guest. Sure, we'll get one. Let's see who's in town.

He's in our hotel. And thank you everybody out there for listening. If you like the podcast, why not tell a friend to come back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. That was like my dad's favorite show, and we would watch it as kids.

King of the Hill? No Beavis and Butthead. Oh, really? And he would try to fast forward through the parts that weren't appropriate for children. But he was too slow, so all we heard were the parts. He never anticipated it. Yeah. That's a very sweet portrait of your dad. Yeah, it was great.

He got me to do a good Cornholio. That's true. He was so proud. The only time he's ever been proud of my performing he comes and sees you do cornhole you asked for a suggestion all right everyone i'm looking we're looking for a suggestion. What's something you might need TP for? Your bong hole! Thank you, Dad. Here we go. Oh, yeah.

You know this one? Don't stop, never give up. And I had reached the top. Don't stop, never give up. So this is the top S Club song. And I also recognize this one. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

I'm through. Who's your favorite of them? Hannah. I can't believe you remember the names. That's the only one I remember, but proud that I do remember one. How many of them of them? Hannah. I can't believe you remember the names. That's the only one I remember, but proud that I do remember one. How many of them were there? Seven. Seven at least.

Seven with an alternate. Yeah. Here comes phone calls. I didn't even play S Club Party. Gonna show you how. Hey, no, bought it, I got it. Bought it. Maximumfun.org

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