Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 596 - Allie Entwistle

Episode Date: August 19, 2019

Improviser Allie Entwistle returns to talk family bands, road rage, and long shoes.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 596 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's probably, I imagine, is probably ready for summer to be over. Mr. Dave Shumka. You know what? What? It's been an okay summer.

Oh, okay. Alright. We haven't had heat waves. We haven't really had... That's true. yesterday was like as hot as it's gotten it was pretty hot though but i looked at the forecast it's not gonna get that hot again yes uh there hasn't been smoke no that's true no smoke it's been a decent summer for it's been an opposite of a cruel summer for a gentle boy like me someone who does not like the sun do you want the summer to be over

yeah yeah from day one yeah i'm done what would you if you could if you could shorten the year yeah so say like what season would go no not what season would go just give me the dates that would go oh uh you know i think we would we just cancel august august oh okay august stinks everybody hates it the dog days no thanks uh you know but you wouldn't be like get rid of like may 15th until october 15th no like i like a like a dose of sorry because it keeps me you know keeps me humble a micro yeah yeah micro does i do like yeah i i i'm on the record that every season is too long i'm over it by the time it's over i'm i'm already at the finish line but i you know what i would do extend fall i'd do an extra month of fall in lieu of that august all right well i do a second october two spooky months. Let's, I don't know, let's see what we can do.

Like, who do you, do you know anyone at the climate? At the Weather Channel? Yeah. Do you know anyone with calendar privileges? I'll work on it. I'll work on it. Our guest today, very funny comedian. What?

One half of brunch comedy. One eighth? Tenth? Tenth of nasty women. It's a returning guest, Allie Entwistle. That's me. Hello.

That's me. I'll be bringing 10% of the comedy of nasty women today. Good. 10%. That's all we ask. Yeah.

Half a brunch. I won't ask you to name all the nasty women. Yeah. I was briefly a member. You were one of the founding members. It's true. Yeah. I won't ask you to name all the nasty women. Yeah. I was briefly a member. You were one of the founding members. It's true. Yeah.

We had to ask you to leave. It was a ladybug situation. Rodney Dangerfield and Jack A were your coaches. Yeah. Yeah. And they put me in a wig. Who's the other member of brunch? Carrie Donaldson.

Oh, okay. Dream, a woman. Yeah. A dream. A dream. A dream. I? Carrie Donaldson. Dream, a woman. A dream. A dream. I've never been on I don't know her. I only know people who come to my house. Well, have her on and then you'll get to know her. She's actually been coming over. She's been coming over to the house? Yeah, well it's a great house.

Has she been hiding in the furniture? Yeah. She's just like, okay. Who's around? Who wants some coffee? Well, hello. Hi. Hello and welcome.

Hello and thank you. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Allie. How's your summer? Summer's good. Yeah.

Yeah. We're like halfway through. Yeah. It's time. Just so you know. Yes. At the time of this release oh no we're gonna be in the dog days it'll be august 19th what will what will the boys of summer be doing then oh boy uh well they'll have their wayfarers yeah brown skin shining in the sun nice um they might see a car with a deadhead sticker on a cab. Yeah.

Those are the main things. Yeah, okay, good. Yeah, I guess it's good to... And the girls stop by for the summer. Yeah, I think it's fly. I think it's fly when they stop by for the summer. Yeah, oh, certainly. Yeah.

I was listening to that song. On repeat? On vinyl. Smart. Do you know that song summer girls by lfo the kids on the block oh of course yes yes by light funky ones uh and it was like i knew we knew it was bad then yeah but like all boy bands like i had a chip on my shoulder for all the boy bands because like like because you got kicked out of so many yeah i mean i have yes um but uh i just like i i so i knew that song was dumb and bad and then it came

on the radio a couple weeks ago and it is so bad it's very but it's very like you're there's one line that's like he changes uh topics on like a dime so quickly in one verse. It's like, your dad left when you were four years old. There was a good man named Paul Revere. I feel much better, baby, when you're near. Music doesn't have to make sense. It just has to make you feel something. He just had a lot

of topics you wanted to touch on yeah yeah and the venn diagram wasn't really working out you know it's just well what's your favorite summer song oh not to put you on the spot god that's a that's a tough boy um i don't know the summer song you know what take some time with it you don't know. The summer song? You know what? Take some time with it. You don't have to answer right away. Give me a moment. What's the summer song? Of this summer? Or just any summer. Just like a song where you're like, oh man, that's summertime.

We've really got it. I mean, it's probably like Rumors by Fleetwood Mac. Like just the whole thing. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cars. I grew up in the Okanagan, so a lot of like driving in the sun. Yeah.

Laying someone down in the tall grass and letting you do their stuff. Right? Exactly, yeah. Now, where in the Okanagan did you grow up? Kelowna. Oh, Kelowna. Do you love summer?

Do you love summer? Do you have great summertime memories? I have good summertime memories good summertime memories late lake memories good lake mems fruit memories yeah it was actually just a lot of fruit it's actually depressing not living in the okanagan in the summer sometimes because you're like i haven't had a peach all summer yeah yeah people not from this part of the world she's describing a place that's filled with lakes and fruit yeah yeah, yeah. It's like people travel there and get summer jobs fruit picking. Yeah.

Yeah. And also lots of men with neck tattoos. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes. Yeah, I think, well, actually,

last time I was on, we talked about how I saw a guy bring a snake to the beach. That's right. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, really encapsulates the whole mood. Snake fest and wake fest. So that and then vineyards. Vineyards, right. Yeah. But, yeah, and I spent whole childhood just swimming in every lake i saw yeah and then i was up in carrie and i were in whistler this uh past weekend because my brother lives there my brother lives in whistler he lives

in whistler like a little ding dong is he australian i well i hope so uh no he's not Australian but he just like has a real job in Whistler and lives there weird at a credit union or something no he works like at a marketing firm oh yeah weird yeah there's people who do it I guess yeah I guess someone needs to you know send out flyers for yeah yeah yeah yeah the ski hill you You guys heard of it? It's a big one. Is there a lake? Oh, there's so many lakes. Oh, really? Five or six, I think.

You go swimming in all of them? Well, no, we only went in one. Okay. But Carrie and I went in and Carrie was like, I think this might be the first lake I've swam in. And I was like, what? Because she's from Calgary. But Calgary's got lakes. Well.

Graham's from Calgary. I'm from Calgary. I don't know. What high school did she go to? I don't know. We got to's got lakes. Well. Graham's from Calgary. I'm from Calgary. I don't know. What high school did she go to? I don't know. We got to get her on. Yeah. Sounds like it's. Got to ask her some questions about her lake living.

Mystery. Yeah. Like, because I'm here to stay on the record. They're not Great Lakes. They're not the Great Lakes. They're not the Great Lakes. But there's lakes in Calgary. That's our only.

Well, or the river. You could go. The river. You could go tubing on the river. Oh, yeah. I do not like river tubing. How come? What happened? What's your damage? I don't know.

It's just like you don't get to choose how long you relax for. The river decides. Yeah, the river does. Yeah, that's right. I don't like that. You have to let the river be in charge. Yeah, and I'm like, I don't know. And also, you meet a lot of weirdos on the river does yeah that's right i don't like that you have to let the river be in charge yeah and i'm like i don't know and also you need a lot of weirdos on the river yeah oh boy that's true kevin bacon points a gun at you yeah what movie was the river wild with meryl

streep meryl streep's your mom and uh yeah i guess i could have picked uh deliverance for the much creepier one. But yeah, you're right. You do meet a lot of creeps on the river. Yeah. Also, the river I was on was like the Enderby River. I think it's fly when creeps stop by on the river. On the river.

What was, so the Enderby River was just attracted more creeps? It was, yeah, it's kind of, I mean, it's just all sorts, you know, which is great. But I also love being alone. Right. Just without the other people there. So lakes are for loners. Rivers are for creeps. Yeah.

Oceans are for, I don't know what. When you go out on the lake, did your family have floaties? Yeah, we had some floaties, but we're a pretty low-maintenance lake family. Not a lot of blow-ups. But you weren't like a boat family? No. You weren't water skiing? No water skiing for me, no.

No. Did some tubing on other people's boats. Yes, and of course down that river. Of course down that river. But we've heard about the river. And of course, down that river. Of course, down that river. Well, we've heard about the river. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So her first time in a lake. Allegedly.

Like the way you would know you were in a lake is if it felt goopy on your feet. Yeah. Oh, but we went in off a dock. We went in off a dock. Oh. So this is the. So then you jump into the scary, scary water. Yeah. You don't know what's down there.

You can't see to the bottom. Death is coming. Yeah. All that. Did she like it? She liked it. Okay. She was in.

We even did a, my brother is stand up paddle boards. So I went on like a 15 minute stand up paddle board jump. Is it hard? No, it's not hard. But I was kind of like the whole whole time I was like, why? Why? I mean, it was kind of cool, because you got to experience the lake from a different vantage point.

Yeah, that's true. Look down on the lake. Yeah, but I was kind of like, why am I standing? I did that a couple years ago. Yeah, what did you think of seppin'? It was in Kelowna, as a matter of fact. Oh, yeah, seppin' Kelowna. Yeah, and it was a stand-up paddleboard situation, It was in Kelowna as a matter of fact. Oh, yeah. Sept in Kelowna. Yeah. Yeah.

And it was a stand-up paddleboard situation. Mm-hmm. And I went out for, yeah, like 15 minutes. Yeah. Came back and was like, oh, yeah, that was nice, relaxing and alone time. And I kind of felt like I got the hang of it. And then when I got back to shore, Abby was like, you looked so uncomfortable. You looked like you were about to fall in all the time.

That's great. Yeah, my brother did take a picture of Carrie and I, and we looked like baby deer, just like trying to. Wasn't it? It's like, okay, we tried. You tried. We tried. And that's what's important. And during the summertime, you're head honcho at improv camp.

Head honcho is my title. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Congratulations, by the way. Thank you. Yes, thank you. I know it was hard to rise up the ranks. Oh, yeah, all the way up to head honcho. What are the other honcho positions?

Honcho. Honcho, honcho. Lower honcho. Sub honcho. Sub honcho. Yeah. Yeah. And then vice honcho and then head honcho.

And this is at an improv camp for children? For teens. Teens. Oh, wow. Yeah. Other than improv camp, do you have any experience with teens? Yes, because I teach an alternative school. It's super alt.

Yeah, thanks. We just read AP Magazine and go to Van Gorp Tour, and it is rad. That does sound rad. No, I work with youth of all kinds all the time. That's just my brand. You're always around the youth. I'm always around the youth. Nice. They don't freak you out.

They don't scare you These teens No Oh the teens Yeah Oh hell yeah Oh they're so stylish Yeah It's frightening

Yeah yeah yeah Instagram has done things That we will never understand Like what Like just Cause they all Like Cause I remember going to summer camp

As a teen You know And I'd be like You know I'm gonna wear my cool halter top Or something But like these teens Look so cool

And I just i'm intimidated by them yeah yeah yeah they all like it's like a fashion event okay so like all these uh these teens are secure in their fashion choices yeah where are they getting it from i think it's instagram but like because i tv was a great unifier like we would all go in we would all dress like jerry seinfeld yeah we all dress like the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Perfect. And, like, you'd show up at school and everyone would know, oh, he watched the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.

He watched, you know, Major Dad, and now he's dressed as Gerald McRaney. But now, like, they're not all watching the same, or they're not all following the same Instagram. I don't know. What's her name? There's a, like, an Instagram star. Maybe she's a rapper. Maybe she's just a YouTube personality. Hard to say these days.

Yeah, but I feel like every time I see a picture of her, I'm like, she's the genesis of. She's the one? Yeah. What kind of clothes does she wear? Just wild, very colorful. Oh, is it Billie Eilish? Yeah, Billie Eilish. Thank you. Yeah. She's a singer. Singer? She's the one? Yeah. What kind of clothes does she wear? Just wild, very colorful. Oh, is it Billie Eilish? Yeah, Billie Eilish. Thank you.

Yeah. She's a singer. Singer? Yeah, she's a singer. But, you know, could have been anything. Could have been, you know, a YouTube unboxer. True. I'm unboxing another pair of really baggy shorts.

But, yeah, like really bright colors and like seemingly mismatching elements. Yeah, a lot of fanny packs worn in cool ways. Oh, man. Yeah. I wouldn't have counted on fanny packs coming back. Yeah, me neither. But I was back at my parents' house. They just sold my childhood home, and I was going through the old stuff, and I found a fanny pack.

And I was like, I'm working with a lot of teens this summer. I guess I got to bring this home. I got to dust this off. You thought you had hung up the fanny pack a lot. I thought I had. Do they wear them on their hip? They do not. They wear them across the chest.

Wow. Across that chest. They don't even know the British or the North American meaning of fanny. Yeah. They're just like, I don't know. Put it over here. Wow. A lot of like hats that say like dad on them or something.

A lot of dad. Very few of them are dads. Hey, by the way. Almost none of them. People have been stealing my hats. Oh, no. Your branded dad hat. Yeah, my major dad hat.

Oh. When is Improv Camp upcoming or is it already It's upcoming. Okay. It's a week in

August. Let me tell you that week takes a lot of prep. Yeah, no kidding. Yeah, but it's on Gambier Island so we take a

boat. I take 150 teens on a boat to an island. 150? It's almost too many. It's way too

many. It's way too many. Why you invited them all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you invited them all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did you invite them?

I think I did. They all bought tickets for it. But yeah, it's actually like the best. It's, it's kind of crazy. Cause it's just like all these kids who love improv and they're just like, very like so funny. And you're just like,

how are you so funny? Yeah. It's kind of depressing. What age? Like 13 to seven or 18. Oh, so like grades and grades and grades. Yeah. Yeah. Lots of, lots of different ages.

I did improv in high school, but I don't think this existed. Yeah, I don't know. I think it's like 20. I think we're 19 years in, maybe. I don't know. That's wild. Yeah. Did you?

Oh, but I only graduated two years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, did you go to improv camp? No. No. No, I did not. I started as an adult. You started as an adult.

Yeah, this is my fourth year. Fourth year at camp? Is that probably? Okay. Yeah. Four years to rise up to head. That's right. How many other counselors?

Please tell me it's not just you. There's like 30. Yeah, there's a lot of us. Just me. You and 150 teens. Now, no messing around There's a lot of us. Just me. Just you and 150 teens. Now, no messing around, you kids. Hey, you guys. You do some improv for me.

Dance. And then I do my one-woman show for them. Is it like at a cabin camp? Yeah, it's at Camp Furcom, it's called, which is a known wedding venue. Former United Church camp. Yeah, it is still actually. Yeah, it is. But I think, yeah, so they do God stuff all summer and then we come in and the kids start chanting things.

God stuff all summer. It sounds nice. Yeah. It sounds like a nice idea. But there's like cooks and stuff. We have a kitchen staff. You don't have to. There's an improviser from Winnipeg, George Hudson. He's great.

And he is a chef. He cooks up the food and it's very good. Oh, wow. He brings in a Winnipeg special honey dill sauce. Have you heard? No. I think it might be the best part about winnipeg i've never been okay but this is the best export i've seen okay graham goes all the time i love it do you want to win a bag all the time hey well you need to get some honey

dill sauce yeah it's like goes with news to me chicken fingers basically okay honey can i just put it on my regular fingers hey i'm not gonna tell you how to eat your sauce. All right. But it's very good. It's a thing. Honey dill sauce. Honey dill sauce. Okay. Yeah. There might be some mustard in there.

I don't really know. But it's some sort of sauce. And you lure. It's got honey. It's got dill. George brings it to camp. Is that the only time of year you have it? Yeah.

Okay. So it's a treat. It's a treat. You haven't sought it out or tried to make your own yet. Yeah. You haven't asked George to bring you an extra one. No. I have. It's a very passive indul haven't sought it out or tried to make your own yet. I have, yeah. You haven't asked George to bring you an extra one. No, I have. It's a very passive indulgence in Honeydell's house.

Well, how good could it be? Yeah. Damn it. I'm still trying to sell it up. But, like, I just can't imagine how outgoing 150 improv teens would be. It's wild. I was never outgoing. No?

I was annoying. Yeah. Yeah, I guess that was the word I was looking for. Yeah. Was annoying. Yeah,

but it's also like on the craziest part about camp is like the second night of camp we have a talent show and this has been happening like the first year

I went as an adult. They had this talent show too and it's just insane. So all these kids go up. There's like 30 kids. It's the second day of camp. Most of them don't know anybody. And they just do the most insane stuff.

Like what? They're just like, oh, talent show? Yeah, we'll sign up. And there's people who do things from their chamber choirs back home. People bring saxophones. There's like 80 people on the ukulele. They bring their saxophone to camp. Yes. People bring their saxophones there's like 80 people on the ukulele yes people bring their saxophones and do meme medleys someone did an 11 minute long song where he named every single

pokemon um yeah someone did like the best drag performance i've ever seen in my entire life um and then and then after every single act they get everyone does a standing ovation oh sure it is wild it loses its meaning after a while if you have to stand after a saxophone solo no but the teens

the teens like don't lose it they're like into it the whole time and it's like two and a half hours long do you draw energy from this

and 11 minutes of that is a Pokemon song 11 minutes every Pokemon did anyone uh correct uh you missed one thank you you missed a Pikachu 11 minutes every Pokemon did anyone uh correct

uh you missed one thank you you missed a Pikachu the one I can name and Brawl Basur I was just still just blown away

by this kid who brought a saxophone to camp I when I was a teenager I brought my guitar everywhere

oh really I like went to visit my grandma for a week well better fly my guitar with me Oh really? I like went to visit my grandma for a week. Well better fly my guitar with me. Grandma's gonna want to hear this. I'm gonna want to practice. She probably would though. Grandma would be like

play me a... She was a million years old. Well. Yeah play me classical gas. I don't know what's the oldest guitar song. Oh. Green sleeves. Yeah maybe green sleeves. Did you do something in the talent show or this was the kids only no no no what would you if you had if you had to do a talent show you can beatbox right there you go yeah pretty good uh no no my only talent is comedy

that's good you know yeah there's no you don't have a parlor trick, nothing like that. No. No, not really. What about you? Kind of sad. You got one? Karate, I'd break some boards. Do you really? No. But I'd try. And I'd get a standing ovation for those

teeth. It's true. Actually, one kid played a recorder out of each nostril last year that's cool that's really cool and he played

the John Cena theme song you know the do do do do these kids do sound cool they are cool they sound cool

tomorrow's leaders yes you're like and you know you want to be like oh standing wish for everything but like how long how long does that take for well he played tomorrow's leaders yes you're like and you want to be like oh steady we should remember how long does that take

for well he played he brought okay this kid brought like like a clarinet like a piccolo

he had like five instruments he brought all the woodwinds he did he had like a slide whistle is there anywhere on this island

I can buy a new reed oh yeah like they they come prepared wow yeah because I'm just thinking Is there anywhere on this island I can buy a new reed? Oh, yeah. Like, they come prepared. Wow. Yeah. Because I'm just thinking, like, if he goes up with two recorders, does the nostril thing for five seconds, the audience is like, we just did a standing ovation. Yeah.

I love it. Oh, man. Yeah. What a fun, like, summer gig. It's a fun summer gig. Yeah. It's a good time. And then the rest of the year, you're a teacher.

Yeah, I do. I'm like a part-time teacher, full-time friend. Okay. That's what I need. A full-time friend. Yeah. Yeah, so I also work at a school three days a week and uh an alternative school it's alternative yeah jeans yeah torn jeans a lot of dark lipstick yeah and your summer's off aside off of that school yeah yeah is it is it good or is it like

oh i gotta do for two months? It's good. It's just a lot of like working from home, like on like camp or like comedy stuff. Right. That's just like a lot of unstructured time, you know? Yeah. How are you with the unstructured time? Better than I used to be.

Okay. But still not great. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. It is really hard. It's hard to figure it out. Because now you got Netflix. You got Amazon Prime. You got, you know, if you figure it out. Because now you got Netflix. You got Amazon Prime.

You got, you know, if you're in the States, you got Hulu. You got Crave up here in Canada. Yeah. You got Seesaw. Oh, boy. You got Crackle. Yeah. Red Bull TV.

Of course. That's what I'm always on. I've got to get my juice flowing. Yeah, no, it's hard. it's hard like especially when you have a job that's like super structured so structured yeah and then all of a sudden you're like whoa yeah and you're all loosey-goosey yeah how much prep does the summer camp take more than you think no i think it takes a lot yeah it takes a lot yeah yeah like i feel like if i had a year to prep i'd be be, I'd feel in the crotch.

Yeah, yeah. It definitely takes a lot. You know, there's a lot of just little loose ends. Like, oh, how are we going to get these kids to the island? Dang, has anyone thought about this? Shoot. Canoes? Can they swim?

I don't know. Do we, what the, how are we coming on that honey dill sauce, George? Give me the recipe. I need to know how much dill to buy. Yeah, it's a lot of that, you know, ordering T-shirts. Yeah, it's just a lot of classic admin, you know? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And that's heavy as the head that wears the crown. Yeah. Oh, hello. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So aside from this, that's a busy schedule comedy and teaching and then yeah camp counseling yeah it's crazy yeah it's a it's a full-time gig and then what else what else is there any other time in the day well i mean i watch a lot of television what do you watch what's hot what's hot uh what's hot uh the show i i watched it months ago but i can't stop

talking about his fleabag oh yeah Everybody's talking about Fleabag. Fleabag. I've talked so much about Fleabag and told, like, peer pressure so many of my friends into watching it that, like, for a while, I would just keep getting texts being like, okay, fine. I finally watched it. Yeah. And then they were like, I love it.

Now, are you a good, because here's, I feel like there's good. My good friend? No. Yeah. Are you a good friend when it comes to like watch this thing and then your friend watches it and then it's like now i want to talk about it yeah will you talk about it i will talk about it of course because i have i have friends who recommended things to me and then i watch them and then they just say yeah it's good eh and i was like well what did i I thought this was going to be a... Yeah. So you'll participate.

Oh, yeah. I'll dive in. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. And so I should watch Fleabag? Fleabags. Have you seen it, Dave?

No. It's fine. It's a great show. Great. Text me when you see it. I will. I will. I will send you a message when I see it.

Send me a message. And I better hear a response. Yeah. If I don't... I've walked in and out of rooms where my wife was watching it. That's fun. Yeah. I mean, I didn't walk in, look at it and walk out.

There's no way I'm watching this dribble. I'm going to go watch the car. I'm out. The little British in it. The Brits. I watched something based on you having watched something. What's that? Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.

Oh, yeah. I haven't seen it. It was good. I liked it. Yeah. A lot of driving. Yeah. I forgot the things that I've seen.

I think every other Quentin Tarantino movie. I don't know why. I don't love him. Yeah. You love him. I haven't seen The Hateful Eight, but I forgot the things that he's famous for. Like blood.

Yeah. Heartfully splattered. I remember that he's famous for having a cool vibe. When that's present, and then when the blood shows up, you're like, oh yeah! Oh shit! Yeah.

A lot of blood. Yeah, it's funny like I think it was Mark Marion was like, that movie's great for imagining a Hollywood where you could drive around really fast. And I was like, yeah, I doubt that there was ever a time that you could drive

as fast as brad pitt seemed to be driving yeah but anyways stylistic traffic if you watch that movie yeah i'll chat about it okay you'll chat yeah absolutely we won't chat about i was wondering should i watch it yeah is it yeah do you like quentin tarantino i do like quentin tarantino but then you just kind of keep remembering who he is as a person and then then you're like, ah. It's good. It's long. I mean, it's like three hours long. But it's just like, not much happens in it.

But it's fun to watch. All right. You know? Yeah. It's fun to be there. Yeah. You're just like, nice clothes. Good car.

This is fun. Yeah. Brad Pitt's there. Brad Pitt. It's exciting. Yeah. I think he exercises Does he? I think he works out

Yeah yeah yeah He might Huh He works out But I'm not sure I'm not sure Leonardo DiCaprio works out I mean

He's in okay shape But I don't know Like Brad Pitt works out Leonardo DiCaprio Has been playing A lot of characters Who are like Oh is that I guess that

character would be bloated from alcohol okay fine okay yeah have you guys seen the Leo girlfriend graph yes no yes tell me it's the graph that shows you like how

like the ages of Leonardo DiCaprio's girlfriends and how he he doesn't date anyone over 25 okay and like his age

keeps going up yeah and then you see like the girlfriend's age go up and then 25 hits and then it drops off new girlfriend new girlfriend like 18

like he'll date him for like 5 years oh shit but then as soon as at 25 it's just like boy also like once it like as soon as it's legal for him to date someone who's 10 years younger he never goes uh like right over that okay that yeah the 2080s like down to 18 and then just back yeah back up until 20 25 is the cutoff yeah okay yeah the um yeah somebody uh cut and pasted a bunch of uh hollywood leading men that all were dating 20 year olds yeah uh ben affleck oh yeah classic recently yeah henry cavill uh oh i saw that yeah i don't consider him a leading man he was super duper man i love super duper man he saved everyone yeah yeah uh that's i watched uh the original superman the other night with christopher reeve mr reeve he was the only good superman like shrug

henry cavill tried i don't think he made it you know yeah who was the uh but you're not a big brandon routh fan um uh he was just uh cast because he looked exactly like christopher reeve okay yeah so that that reinforces my point christopher reeve number one everybody else falls way short yeah whoever was in the black and white tv show george reeves yeah george reeves that's right um plural oh okay the reeves curse yeah just the superman curse um what do you think will happen to henry kelly he just dated a 20 year old yeah his mustache got digitally removed oh yeah in that one movie. Yeah. Smart. Yeah.

Really smart. Is there like a TV show that you watch that you're not super proud that you watched all of? Ooh. That I watched all of? Or that you watch regularly. That I watch regularly? I mean, every once in a while, I like to re-watch the first two

seasons of grey's anatomy because of how beautifully bad it is really perfect the first i like after that who cares but the first two seasons it's just like these doctors are all hot yeah and they are young and they have all these different archetypes and they're just like it's so melodramatic and so much happens. Like, by the halfway through the second season, there's already a bomb in the hospital. You know?

Nice. It just really jam-packs everything in there that you would want out of a medical drama. Yeah. Yeah. I don't think I've ever,

no, I saw one episode on the recommendation of somebody where a character has sex with a ghost. It was one of the later seasons. Yes, yeah, I've seen that episode, yeah.

But somebody's like, if you only watch one episode of Grey's Anatomy. It's gotta be the Ghost Nights episode. I feel like that, when you say the first two seasons of Grey's Anatomy, I'm just imagining, I'm thinking back to like, it's still on, isn't it?

I think so, yeah. But back then it was like a big deal if a band, if your band was on. Yes. And like they made like so many. Like the band was playing at the hospital? Or no, just like the song. There's another concert on in the ER.

Stopped her surgeries. If like, you know, Death Cab for Cutie. Yeah. Their career was made off of, actually their career was made off of the OC. It was, yeah. it was on the OC mix let's not kid ourselves here like Regina Spector I think I started listening to Metric because

Monster Hospital was in Grey's Anatomy yeah a little on the nose it was the episode where there was a monster loose in the hospital classic stuff so I love that but my biggest shame watch is i love shitty youtube so much uh and i love like a shitty like a youtube family where they like

like not a one specific family but like just families where they make their own reality tv show through youtube i I've never. I don't know this. It's amazing. So they're like, it's like meet the Robinsons or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. And the reason why I got into this was because one of the kids I was working with kept watching this video where this family brought this kitten back to life or something.

I've seen this video like 14 times at work. Brought this kitten back to life? I don't know. It's one of those like dodo videos. It has the animal i don't know one of those dodo videos graham i'm lost it's like one of the ones that comes up on facebook and starts auto playing and you're like okay like this family bought a kitten right okay yeah anyway and killed it and brought it back yeah but i realized this realized this family has a YouTube channel. And they just record their whole lives.

Wow. And there was this one. So they went to Disneyland or something. And their toddler broke her arm. And they're in the hospital like, okay, we're just bringing her in to get x-rays. And here we go. And they're showing you the whole thing. Weird.

And I'm like, you're recording this? Yeah. It's so weird. And then like the other half of the family still went to Disney World. So like the mom went with the kid and then the dad went with the rest of the kids. And they're like, yeah, we're having a hard time.

We're really thinking about so-and-so at the hospital. She's by herself? No, she was with the mom. Oh, okay. But it's just like they're recording it. I'm like, you don't have to do this. Right. It's really.

Unless is this possibly their living? It might be now. Yeah. What's weirder, YouTube family or family band? YouTube family. You got to see these videos. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do.

I have to sample. I have to sample that. I have to listen to the Partridge family. Yeah. Family band. Yeah. Family band's pretty weird. I have to listen to the Partridge family. Yeah. Family band. Yeah. Family band's pretty weird. I mean, what's the last family band there was?

The Jonas Brothers? Yeah, I guess the Jonas Brothers. Yeah. Watch that documentary. Or like, oh, there was a documentary. Oh, it's so good. What's it on? Yeah.

It's on Amazon Prime, I think. Okay. Yeah, it is. I think it's on Amazon Prime. Something like that. It's so badly great. You need to watch it. The less you know about the Jonas Brothers, the better.

All I know is Purity Rings. Exactly. Okay, so they, because they. They wear Purity Rings? Yeah, yeah. They did. They did. Before they.

A Purity Ring is something you wear like as a vow to not have sex? Yeah. Yeah. And they were like married their fans would buy them at the concerts because i remember thinking like i wonder if i could make these fake purity rigs so money-based are they metal yeah they were metal and I was like yeah the overhead's too too expensive um

but yeah they uh uh they're not still they're not still they came back that's why that's why they made

the documentary oh but the purity rings aren't on anymore they're all married now oh okay yeah and they've had

I believe so yeah they took the rings off so um alright the documentary's very self-important just I believe so. Yeah, they took the rings off. All right, all right. The documentary is very self-important. I don't know if this is in the documentary.

Yeah. Was the taking off of the purity rings part of the seduction? Like, do they go into that? Does the guy who's married to the lady from Quantico, do they talk about it? Yeah. So is it them reuniting and then going back on tour? It's them like, yeah, like talking about how great the band was and how they weren't just like a Disney drone. You know, they were more than that and just like how talented they all are.

And then talks about their breakup. But really just nicks the talented one. Yeah. And it's like, they talk about, they're like, you know, there's all this tension and stuff

but there's still so much tension and it's so visible between the three of them and it's very, it's very juicy. Is it sexual tension? I hope so. That's the dream.

So Nick was the one that was in Dunkirk. Is that right? No, that's Harry Styles. Oh, yeah. What is he from? He's from One Direction. They used to be on your phone case?

That's right. That's right. Nice, nice, nice. Do you think you could tell me the name of the current hit Jonas Brothers song? It's I Feel You, but you is just the letter u it's sucker oh do you know how that one goes uh no i know how i feel i feel you guys oh how does that go i feel feel you. Is that new? No, no. I just made that up.

Honestly, it's a similar falsetto to the Sucker song. Is it? I'm a sucker for you. Oh, nice. Yeah. And all their wives are in the video. Oh, yeah. Who's the, who's, are two of them married to famouses? Yeah.

One's married to Priyanka Chopra. Yeah. And then Joe's married to Sophie Turner. Sansa. Ah. Sansa. And Kevin is married to a nice lady. Just a lady.

Just a nice lady. Just a nice lady. So they, wasn't Kings of Leon, weren't they also a family band? Yep. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. So, you know, still out there, weird families.

I only like family bands where there's the mom and a dad playing instruments a kid on drums a slideshow going songs about the slides that what was that band the tracted bird slideshow family players wow have you ever heard of this no they were maybe on conan a bunch of times or something and they were like a yeah weirdo wow family group and that's all that's exclusively what they did that's that's a true family charming it they did. That's a true family band. It was very charming. It was very charming, yeah. Because a lot of these

are like brother bands, you know? That's true. And think about brother bands there's often a brother that's left out. Like there's another Jonas brother.

And Hanson, that's not all of them either. Oh really? Yeah, there's more of them apparently. Wow. Yeah. Huh.

Yeah, I mean is that the same as the Destiny's Child crew were they sisters uh no no no none of them were related no i mean there were sisters in the sense never mind i was just like one or two years ago there was that uh cake by the ocean song oh yeah that had um one of the jonas brothers was in that band oh really whatever that was called dnce oh yeah i think that's joe yeah that's joe and the music video was directed by gg hadid and the fat jewish wow well the the people thought they would never work together, but they did. They put aside their differences.

The Lennon and McCartney of this generation. Of directing music videos. Wow. That is a gift. And how was the video? It was good. It was funny. The Fat Jewish was in it, so it was Gigi Hadid.

Wow. Might have been Bella Hadid. I don't know. I don't know the difference no me neither uh they're both models right yeah sure who isn't though yeah right yeah i'm with selfies um uh dave yeah what's going on with you well let's talk about what's going on. Yeah, let's really break it down. A few weeks ago, I ordered some poke. Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I ordered some poke. I love the way you say that. Poke. Poke. Through an app. And I was going to go pick up my poke. And I parked in a parking lot across the street from the poke restaurant.

And I was like 10 minutes early for when my poke would be ready. And so I just sat in my car and waited. And a woman, there was a car parked next to mine. And a woman got into her car next to mine opened her door and just opened it so loud and fast and slammed into the side of my car oh what and i gave her a look yeah and she got into her car she was unlike she's like she didn't know she had done anything wrong but it was so loud i was like what the how can you just move on from that lady yeah and so i i looked at her i i rolled down my window and i said that was really loud and she said oh it's nothing and i was like like i guess i just wanted her to say oh i'm sorry yeah yeah yeah yeah. Sorry. Yeah, and so she didn't apologize.

She acted like, oh, you're just being dramatic. She's like, classic you. And in fairness, my car is 13 years old. It's got a few dings. That's the advantage of having a true 13 year old car is i'm not gonna get anything fixed no i'm not worried about keeping it looking new uh and so i got out of my car to go check what she had done because maybe she like she didn't even really look at what she had done no and she got back in her car and And when I got out of my car, she started driving away, like in a hurry.

Oh. And she had a teenage son in the passenger seat, too. And he was so embarrassed. Oh, no. It's an often occurrence, perhaps. And so I. Oh, yeah. Rage mom.

Yeah. Yeah, totally. But I get out of the car and I'm I come around to look at my side of the car and she starts driving away and she looks like she's in a hurry to get out of there

and and for a second I'm like am I the road rage guy oh yeah am I the guy who got out of his car and wants to like settle this

right huh yeah and uh so I start looking and she starts backing out and so i get my camera out and take pictures of her license plate like what am i gonna track her down yeah yeah yeah well this is

this is yeah yeah future detective work yeah and uh so just then i look and it's fine uh but she drives away and her son is so embarrassed and he rolls down the window and says i'm very sorry oh wow wow when the teen is actually the parent yeah yeah yeah wow so you must run into that all the time working with teens yeah they always roll down their window at me and just say i'm very sorry it is funny though like sometimes you do clock like that the teen is the only one who knows yeah uh the way like i remember being at a restaurant and the parents it was like parents and then a couple teens at dinner and the parents were very drunk. And you could tell that the teens were very

embarrassed. Because they're you know, they're dead sober. And they're like, wow, my parents are acting crazy. Yeah. Oh man. But you know what? You probably did the right thing. Take the license plate number down.

Yeah, so I'm probably going to forward it on to some Oh, man. But you know what? You probably did the right thing. Take the license plate number down. Yeah. So I'm probably going to forward it on to some cops. Yeah. Yeah. Or, you know, just post the license plate number on Reddit. Yeah. Yeah. Docs this person.

Our vigilantes. Yeah. That's the one you want. But, yeah, when you open your car door just like uh if you're very close if the if there's narrow parking spots just like put your fingers in between your door and the other car yeah or just open a little slow a little bit yeah but i feel like also her the way she dealt with that you can tell that she like she's just smoothing it over with her words she's like what what's wrong yeah yeah yeah this happens often yeah this is not like a one day a day situation also she's like

creating plausible deniability yeah she's like i don't know i said immediately what i don't know yeah um i think they i just think they should only sell 10 year old cars they should make a new car let it sit in the rain for 10 years so no one's like worried about what the outside of it yeah that would probably bring down a lot of road rage. Nobody has to prove anything. Or just get every car that comes off the lot, the guy at the lot just keys it. Yeah. Really quick.

Yeah, because I saw, I was waiting for a bus and I saw a car bump into the back of another car. But it was just, it was just really the bumpers touched. Yeah. That's all. But they got out, and they were holding up traffic and all this stuff. And I could see from where I was standing that there was no mark on either car. And, like, bumpers are there for bumping. To bump.

Yeah. But, oh, the drama. Yeah. Did you hear what happened to Mark chavez's car yeah a tree fell on it yeah pass guest mark chavez uh he was he told me the story uh when the day it happened uh he was at home and he got a call uh from his wife who like, hey, a tree fell on our car. Yeah, yeah. Because it's her car and she had been notified,

but she was like on the island or something. Yeah. And so she was like, hey, just so you know, a tree fell on our car. And just out of nowhere, like not during a storm or anything. Just a tree? Just a tree that was going to fall. And he told me he went outside, like he knew he had heard about it so

he was gonna do a little comedy bit and so he got the the his keys and uh went outside and pretended he didn't see a tree on top of his car like his car was crushed yeah there was police tape all around there were like 20 people looking. And he goes up and goes, bleep, bloop, bloop. And then acts all shocked. What? What happened? And the police and fire people were like, get away.

Get away from the car. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It could still explode. Yeah, yeah. Your joke isn't funny. Wow. Yeah. So.

And then he was on the news yeah that's right yeah that's awesome did the bit make it on no the bit didn't make it they got him to recreate the bit um you ever uh car owner ever no uh no no driven cars driven cars dinged any up oh i've dinged some cars yeah yeah my family tells a story well i mean i've yeah i've dinged and then my family tells a story about how but my driveway uh the house i grew up with was really uh very steep and very short and very tricky to get out of uh and uh i backed into the flagpole one day and it was just like listing because my shirt has flagpoles for some reason and it was just like listing, because my shoe does flagpoles for some reason, and it was just listing,

but I was like in a hurry for something. I was like, no one will notice. Everyone noticed. You're like, it's only at a slight angle. If I just salute it by standing at one angle. No one will notice. My whole family came home, and the flagpole was just listing.

I think we knew. No, we couldn't do the math. Figure out who did this soul boy. Yeah, that's driving, man. That's how it goes. Yeah, one time when I worked at the Stampede, I was backing up a truck and i backed into a car and it was my car well at least you didn't have to exchange insurance information yeah that's true like it was kind of a relief i was like oh it's just my crappy car i was like my crappy car

was it did you badly damaged uh yeah it was pretty Oh, okay. But that's what cars are for, man. Denton. Yeah. Is that the only? Yeah, I think that's the only time. I did it to myself, and that's what really hurts. Yeah, that's true. My brother once crashed my dad's car into my parents' other car.

Oh, man. Yeah. That's when your parents are like, why did we have a kid's car into my my my parents other car oh yeah yeah yeah yeah that's when your parents are like why did we why just double whammy in the driveway you know one car into the other yeah i did his new shoes oh sure yeah well we'll never buy you any new shoes right yeah everybody should have 10 year old shoes as well um i yeah i did that once where i thought i was in drive and i was in reverse oh yeah slammed my dad's car into my mom's car nice but just the just the uh there was no damage yeah it was loud and it was yeah it was frightening scary but yeah um yeah so So what's up with you? Speaking of shoes, I was at Hot Eats Cool Treats Dairy Queen. Oh, they treat you right.

Absolutely. And it was a guy. Where is this, Main Street? This is Fraser Street. Oh, all the way up there. Oh, wow. Okay. And there was a guy in front of me with two women.

And he was, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello. Things were popping off. Hello. Cool treats. Cool treats. Yeah, yeah. He, while he was waiting, they were waiting for their blizzards.

Hello. And there was a couple of teens also in the Dairy Queen. And this guy comes up and asks he's like uh our he's like he shows me a picture on his phone and he's like i need to ask your opinion on something and i was like yeah sure uh and he shows me a picture on his phone it's of him and two friends and he's wearing uh white shoes and he's like do these shoes look like clown shoes like do these shoes look like they're too long in the picture

yeah in the picture and they were the same shoes he was wearing at the time so why did he he was he I don't know that's a very good question but he said do these shoes look too big for me and they totally did they look like a full size and a half too big for me? And they totally did.

They looked like a full size and a half too big. So they did kind of look like clown shoes. Yeah. Were they a Converse All-Star? No, they were a white, you know, like an Adidas. Okay. Very in these days. Yeah.

But too long for his body type. Yeah. Like, it was cartoonish and it the women he was with were trying to convince him like your shoes are too long they're crazy long and he was like no no they they're fine this is fine and uh and how old a guy like like 40. Oh, boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then the teens were totally like, those shoes are way too long, man. The teens, one of the teens called them water skis. Like, the teens jumped on it right away. They were like, oh, you want us to criticize you? We're in.

Yeah, sure. People do it. You want us to clown on you? But, yeah, like, his toe only kind of went up to where the laces ended and then there was a sale deal like why no i think he just didn't know how to get shoes like i think for one reason i was like yeah i mean if you were growing up uh you would get shoes that were always bigger yeah so that you could grow into them uh but if nobody ever taught you like, oh, yeah, your toes are supposed to kind of go up to the end of the shoe,

when would you learn that? Wow. Like I remember buying shoes in stores all the time and them feeling, where's your toe? Yeah, where's your toe? Exactly. Yeah. Walk around.

Yeah. I buy a lot of shoes on the internet these days but i know my size in yeah whatever brand i'm gonna buy i already know my size but i um uh yeah the the reason i asked if it was converse all-stars is because they like a size 10 converse all-star is like a size 11 for a regular right yeah yeah yeah but like this like i was just i was kind of thinking about it like uh you know like it's just like one of those blind spots that if nobody ever showed you like how would you you would just kind of get by yeah with your big floppy shoes yeah i bought these in the uk and the size was wrong and

i if i didn't know the proper etiquette to not buy them yeah yeah like and then i was thinking like i wonder if there's do i have something like maybe i have something like that that i've always thought like this just the way you do something but then it's not but then it's not. But then it's not. And everybody else has been doing it the proper way. Yeah. And I've just been, you know, thinking of all sorts of things. Yeah. But how would you know

until somebody points it out? Until you see. Yeah. I think when I was a teenager, I bought large everything because I was like, well, I'm growing. I am large now.

I'm going, I'm now a large man. I'm a man. I am large. Yeah. And it was all too vague and now it took me a few years to realize you're a medium yeah sure you're a long island medium

oh longer than me i love it i was actually recently buying shoes and they only like the size they were on sale and the only size was like a like a half size smaller than i would normally get and i was like okay i don't know and i was like walking around with them, like feeling my toe. And I, like, I found myself really going back to that place when I was shopping with my mom for shoes. Yeah.

When she'd be like, well, do you think they're going to fit? And I'd be like, I don't know. And I was like kind of using the salesperson as that, like, yes.

Bounce back. Yeah. And she was kind of like, I don't fucking know. Like, I don't know. Do they, I was like,

I don't know. Do you think they're going to stretch? She's like, I don't know. Like I read a shoe store, like, she's like, just buy them or, do they, I was like, I don't know, do you think they're going to stretch? She's like, I don't know, like I wear to shoe store. Like, she's like, just buy them or don't.

And I was like, okay. It depends on the, the type of salesperson that you end up, like meeting at the shoe store because some want you to try on eight different pairs

and they want, they want you to do a walk around. Bring out the, whatever, the Brannock device. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they'll, they'll ask you all sorts of lifestyle questions. What are you going to be using these for? Are these going to be an everyday shoe? This was in the Pacific Center Mall, though, so that was not happening. Oh, no. No, no, no. She was like, I don't care. You seem like an adult woman.

You can choose if you want the shoes or not. That was always, I remember going to the bay and trying on shoes and it was just like you were on your own yeah i'm actually from the lingerie section i shouldn't be here but you could just go through you could try on every single pair of shoes that they had yeah yeah nobody would stop you nobody would come over and say enough enough trying on shoes um you had to use your own Brannock device. That you brought from home. Yeah.

Smart. Never had to pay. That'd be kind of a cool thing to hang on a wall. A Brannock device? Yeah. Is it called a Brannock device? I don't know. I'm impressed that you guys seem to know the name of this.

I mean, the foot measuring. The foot guy. Yeah. We all know. We all know it. The metal one. Yeah. We all know. We all know it. The metal one. Yeah, the metal one. Yeah.

And then you know you're in trouble when it's like they got to do the width. Yeah. Yeah. They never like do anything about that. It's called a Brannock device. Nice. How did you know that? You know what?

Like my hero, Quentin Tarantino, I'm sort of obsessed with feet. hero quentin tarantino i'm sort of obsessed with feet um but yeah like uh i kind of really felt for this guy but i was also glad that he happened to be with uh a couple of ladies that were yeah they were gonna guide him yeah that's nice into proper shoe before they do have an orgy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're not wearing those clown shoes for our orgy. Before he has a blizzard-fueled orgy. I was in Dairy Queen a few days ago, and they had the little binder open that had all the custom cakes you could get. And it had hundreds of pages of baseball

and a soccer ball. And the the page that it was stuck on not not because it was sticky uh was just like it had like minions and frozen wow and all these things i recognized cookie monster or whatever and then the last one was Roadside Romeo and it was a picture of a boy dog and a girl dog computer animated from some movie I'm guessing

Roadside Romeo and they're on their hind legs and they're slow dancing with each other what if that was just the guy at Dairy Queen's imagination

he came up with that he's like I'll slip this one in here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can have boring old Minions or Frozen, or you can have this super cool... Roadside Romeo. That sounds like a door song.

It sounds like a euphemism. Oh, you know what? It's a Bollywood movie. Oh! Roadside Romeo. That makes sense. Okay. That makes sense for me not having heard of it.

Yeah. It's kind of crazy. Oh, wow. That's not the kind of animation I was picturing. I was picturing shorter dogs. That dog's sexier than I thought it would be. That's for sure. I was not.

Yeah. Kind of a golden retriever. And like, what is the other? Oh, I don't know. for sure. I was not... Yeah. Kind of a golden retriever and like a... What is the other one? I don't know. Not a Shih Tzu, but... Something with long hair. Something with long hair.

Just a mane. Wow. Roadside Romeo. Roadside Romeo. I'm going to need to find my roadside assistant. If you know what I mean. Who knows? But, like, at a Dairy Queen, does that mean everybody has to be able to freehand? No.

They do a lot of, like, there's a template. Color printers. Oh, okay. So, like, they would have, I guess, put their edible paper into the printer. Whatever that is. Into their Uzi food ink printer. Oh, man. Kind of like sprays it out.

Yeah, like for sure that's something that the teens that work there fuck around with after work. Edible paper. Made your porno cake. Yeah. Let's see how much edible paper you can eat. Fun. Yeah. They do have to eat. Fun. Yeah. They do have to write on them.

Like, happy birthday, whoever. And that's some fancy writing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Happy birthday to my roadside Romeo. If I ever get a cake from Dairy Queen, that's what I'm going to get. Going straight there. Roadside Romeo. Yeah, and I'm going to act shocked when the person doesn't know what it

is what do you mean yeah it's number 593 in your book huge fan uh do we

want to move on to some overheard sure all right or business or business as the case

may be stop podcasting yourself is brought to you in part by squarespace oh that sounds like somebody i know it's me square face the evil devilish fiend who's a who's an enemy of dick tracy uh now say you wanted to build a website dicktracy.com don't you dare uh you can go to squarespace and create

a beautiful website to showcase your dick tracy work no blog about dick tracy oh about how much i dislike him announce dick tracy con uh i won't be attending not even to sign some eight by tens wow what do you think what do you think there'll be a little crowd for me yeah yeah i think you i you're one of the major players. Well, I've never shunned the spotlight. Now, Squarespace does this. Did you say my name? Yeah, it's Squarespace.

Just now, though? No, it's Squarespace. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, sorry. Beautiful, customizable templates created by world-class designers. Powerful e-commerce functionality. Everything optimized for mobile right out of the box. Free and secure hosting.

And our listeners, they can head to squarespace.com. Ooh, that's a close one. For a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use the offer code SPY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com. Enter code SPY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com. Enter code SPY. Do you think I should record a song? Let's leave that to our other friend, the crooner.

I'm Riley Smurl. I'm Sydney McElroy. And I'm Taylor Smurl. And together, we host a podcast called Still Buffering, where we answer questions like, why should I not fall asleep first at a slumber party? How do I be fleek? Is it okay to break up with someone using emojis?

And sometimes we talk about butts. No, we don't. Nope. Find out the answers to these important questions and many more on Still Buffering, a sister's guide to teens through the ages i am a teenager and i was two butts butts butts butts butts Overheard. Yes, I do love overhearing things. It's one of my favorite things. And recently, this one just hit me hard. Because we've talked about Billie Eilish already on the podcast today.

What's her song? Bad Guy. That's her big one. Bad Guy. Yeah. I'm the bad guy. Anyway, I use her to feel cool when I'm walking down the sidewalk. And she's 17.

So it's hard to deal with sometimes. I've got to psych myself up. I'm like, let's see what this 17-year-old wants to tell me. Yeah. Into my ears. But I was at the beach, Kitts Beach, and I was filling up my water bottle at the water bottle fill-up station.

Sure. Not with salt water. Not with salt water. And I just heard there was two 8-year-olds there who were really feeling themselves. And one of them was just singing Bad Guy by Billie Eilish

which was bad because I don't know if you've heard the lyrics but I'll read them to you sure sure no sing them okay okay wait

let me I heard this part make your mama sad type make your girlfriend mad type might seduce your dad type I'm the bad guy. I was just like, yes,

but no, no. Kids don't know. She's a real might seduce your dad type. She's like, that's me. Dads, beware. Daughters, lock up your dad daughters lock up your father

other eight year olds lock up your dads cause I'm coming for ya you know like often kids will sing you a song that they don't they don't get you know

I'm still singing songs I don't get yeah me too I don't think I get bad guy me too well you were singing bad guy yeah when you were singing it was like holy cow this is all one person yeah why is she making my mom so mad i still can't get over that cake by the ocean yeah oh boy do you know what that cake by the ocean song is i don't i think you told me you know what that Cake by the Ocean song is? I don't. I think you told me. Do you know the song? I don't think I do.

Oh. Cake by the Ocean. How about that? It was a rap. I mean, that sounds like a hit. Yeah, it was a hit. Yeah. Yeah.

It was a Jonas Brother and a Hadid. But the producers were Swedish and they forgot the phrase sex on the beach. And they were like, I don't know, like cake by the ocean. Cake by the, oh, that's a dream. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, cake by the ocean sounds a lot better than sex on the beach. It does. Yeah.

But, oh, so much sand in your cake. Yeah. Better than sand in your crake. Good. I don't know, man. My overheard is an overseen, and this is a few weeks old uh in the spring um the neighborhood kind of around uh falls creek just is overrun with geese yeah yeah yeah and you see them every day and they just hang out they walk through the middle of the street they walk on the sidewalk

you cross to the other side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give them the right of way. Because even though you think you could take one, you wouldn't bet on it. Yeah. They have razor sharp teeth. Yeah. Beak.

And I bet their neck could probably take a pounding. And that's where you'd be going for. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then god help you if they wrap their neck around your arm that's it game over game over man uh but i saw and they don't care they don't care about people at all they don't care about cars nothing but in for our american listeners in canada canadian geese have the right of way yeah that's true yeah uh and we still call them canadian geese yeah yeah why i don't know just geese yeah fine there's other geese right

i have no idea yeah maybe there's nice geese somewhere yeah like a real friendly goose and i want to uh just i want to criticize the person who's going to write it and say uh they're actually called canada geese no canadian geese So I just want you to know you're wrong. You're like, I mean, you're right, but that was really. Like we're just ever evolving. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't Neil deGrasse Tyson us.

In Canada, it's Neil deGrasse Tyson. It's, so I was just walking down the street and I saw this goose in the middle of the street. And not a busy street, but there was someone trying to pull out of the alleyway and make a right turn. Yeah. And the goose was just standing there. Incredibly. And the guy honked at it.

Bad move, fella. That's the goose's thing. It honked. thing it honks and it honked back at him and the guy then like a few seconds passed

another car came up was stuck behind the guy trying to turn he starts honking like it doesn't work a goose does not care no the goose is the one

who honks yeah also you're just turning that goose on but you're honking yeah so I was

yeah that was it was just a ridiculous overseen of someone trying to get a goose to move by honking at it just turn the other just go the other direction go around the block

yeah yeah this is you're not gonna win yeah nature finds a way yeah yeah wow

oh man he could yeah I bet if he just drove towards it, the goose would move. I don't know. I think they stick their windy head into the tailpipe, come up through the engine. Like a scary movie? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like they're Freddy?

Yeah. Like Freddy. Exactly. They got the long, windy necks. Yeah, they do. Graham, do you have an overheard yeah mine is

courtesy of sitting next to three older gents all heavily tattooed at a restaurant

and at one point one of the guys like pulled up his whole shirt to show his lion tattoo on his chest this isn't a restaurant no Jerry Green he had clown shoes on whole shirt to show his lion tattoo on his chest. This isn't a restaurant.

No, Jerry Green. He had clown shoes on. But the one guy was describing all the tattoos that were on the slate that were upcoming. He said, I'm going to get a panther. I'm going to get a leopard.

I'm going to get that tattoo of a viking stepping on tweedy bird redone you get it redone sure but uh yeah um I don't know. I don't understand that tattoo. The Viking stepping on Tweety Bird. Did you get a visual? No, no, I didn't get a visual.

I also don't get that he's already got a lion, and now he wants a panther and a leopard? He's a big cat guy. What about a lynx or an ocelot? Boy, so the Viking represents Sylvester. Yeah. Tweety Bird. Represents Sylvester. Yeah. Tweety Bird. Represents his childhood.

Yes, I was going to say. Yeah. Yeah. Um. Wow. But I don't... Yeah, it was funny. Uh, these guys just like...

And they also seemed like, uh, quite different in age. Uh-huh. Uh, so I don't know how these guys. Know each other? Know each other, how to conventions. But there was another great line that one of the guys said he was talking about his, his,

uh, daughter is now, uh, in kindergarten. And he said, uh, he goes, uh,

there's a lot of, a lot of single, uh, a lot of single parents at the kindergarten. Already. You know what I mean? Yeah, you wait until your kids are older for the divorce. For the divorce, absolutely.

Give it a couple of years. Give it a couple of grade school years. Already. Already. And then he goes, know what I mean? He wants to date them yeah he wants to date them

he wants to show off his uh you know Tweety Bird from the cartoons check this shit out yeah hey um

you like Vikings I hope you like one of these two things you like lions uh the thing I love about the Viking one too like the Viking sentence

is that like the way he says it implies they already know about this tattoo. It's like a known one. He's like, you know, that Viking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Stepping on Tweety Bird tattoo. The classic. From the Nike commercial. Yeah.

We all know it. We know and love it. It's lower calf. Maybe it is a famous, like, famous like motif yeah it's on the page of the tattoo parlor yeah you want uh roadside romeo or viking stepping on tweety such a toss-up because what are the there are certainly like you know obviously like calvin peeing on a logo. Classic. But that's not a tattoo.

But I'm sure it is. I wouldn't be shocked. I'm sure it is. To see, yeah. What's the most popular tattoo? Ooh, like, ever? Not ever, but just, like, if you, like, a tattoo artist today is, like, I. I don't want to.

Like, in a given week, I do 10 maps of British Columbia or whatever. I think it's probably, it's a classic. It's an oldie, but you still see people with them all the time on anchor. Oh yeah, that's true. Sometimes with the words stay afloat.

Yeah. You're like, well, that's not what an anchor does. I don't think that's going to help you. Should I get a tattoo of a pool noodle? That says stay afloat? A PFD.

Yeah. But yeah, I think anchor's probably like. Yeah, anchor. A lot of like trees and like minimalist lines these days. Yeah. Birds. Birds. Birds. Birds in the rib cage yeah oh yeah lines of poetry yeah oh yeah i actually know someone who i met someone who when she was

18 she and two of her good friends all got on their hip live laugh love and she has it now. She just has live, laugh, love. She just transforms into a throw pillow. I will live. I will laugh and I will love. That's hard. Live, laugh, love on one hip. Wine o'clock on the other. Don't talk to me before I have my coffee as a tramp stamp. Do not.

Just rosé all day underneath each eye. And babes be brunching on the rib cage. Oh, boy. Now, we also have overheards sent into us from people all over the map. Do you have tattoos? I have no tattoos because I can't make a decision and I'm scared of needles. Well, there you go. That's like the one-two punch of not getting a tattoo.

Commitment? Yeah. To a needle? You guys? You guys got tats? No. Same sort of. I don't, I think I could handle a little bit of needle. Yeah. But I just don't believe in anything enough. Right? I'm just like, ah. Yeah. You know, although, you in anything enough. Right? I'm just like, ah, yeah. Yeah.

You know, although, you know, I heard about this Viking. Oh, yes, that's pretty good. On a certain bird. Yeah, but I already have so many pictures of that in my house. I just don't, I feel like I know it. Yeah, yeah, that's true. You don't need it. So true.

Wouldn't it be a hilarious prank to, if you had a friend who had a baby, get a tattoo of their baby on your... Like a photorealistic picture. And just like their name. Yeah, yeah. And their birthday. And then just show up and be like, check this out. What do we think? I know you weren't really... Last time I was over, you didn't call me uncle.

But I think we're ready for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about this? I mean, if you're getting a lot of tattoos anyway. Right? See, I do get a little jealous of people who already have a lot, because then they can just get a dumb little thing. Then they can get a tattoo.

And that's super fun. That's the same as having a 10-year- yeah yeah yeah exactly i already have this so you sure i'll get your baby's name on my who cares why no forever exactly exactly exactly um uh yeah so we have overheards here sent in from people all over the map. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. First, from Ian C. in Plainfield, Illinois, attending new hire orientation at a new job. This part of the orientation was focused on sales, and the trainer was explaining how to become a trusted advisor. and the trainer was explaining how to become a trusted advisor. The trainer said,

Being a good listener is more persuasive than having the right answer. Guy sitting behind me. Wait, what? Can you repeat that? Pretty good? Yeah. That's good. Just a classic one-two punch? Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Do you think that's true being a good listener better than what having the yeah there you go

nice thank you yeah cause the answers are inside yourself being a good listener is more important than having

no but like having the right answer is good too can be good yeah that's true I mean especially if it's like

is this flammable yeah and it's you know you have to you have to listen for like two hours before you have a chance to talk. Yeah. Let me just circumvent this and say, yeah, it's flammable. It's flammable.

This next one comes from Max in New York. The other day, my girlfriend was on the phone with her mom and had her on speakerphone. They were talking about baby clothes that are basically little animal costumes. And one of the examples was turtles, prompting her mom to say, whenever I think of turtles, I think of those four. You know, Dante, Romeo. Ellipses. Can you name the other two? Dante, Romeo, boy, Butterscotch and michelinas yeah michelinas

so powerful oh those four yeah the four guys the four guys yeah look all i knowunted live laugh love and splinter did you uh we got some kid costumes oh yeah we got a lot what do you got got monkey nice we got uh fish oh yeah fish yeah the girls i mean we've got a lot of princess dresses sure but when uh the girls abby's's brother was staying with us and his wife. And so Abby, the girls just got the idea like, oh, I want to try on every costume for you guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're welcome. Fashion show.

It was great. It killed an hour. Okay, let's see what's next. All right, then. Well, we're not leaving until you try on every single one even ones you've never worn this is when you chose yeah yeah yeah this is the special occasion they'd been waiting for makes sense um yeah my favorite i think one of the things that i do like about summer is uh babies wearing sunglasses yeah oh so fun very funny yeah it'll always i just think of a baby like trying on different sunglasses and getting

the thumbs up thumbs down from from other babies when would you say you first wore sunglasses wow that's a good boy oh boy i don't know i don't think I wasn't a baby. No. I remember my siblings at Max. There was a Max up the hill from our house. Yeah. Nice. And there was one summer where you could get these Max sunglasses. Oh, heck yeah. With the purchase of a slurpee, a froster.

It was probably a slush cat back then. Ooh. And I remember my brother and my sister got a pair and i had specifically told them get me one too yeah no no heartbreak i mean you know the circumstances were beyond their control there was some sort of kid sunglasses that i had that had a detachable string around them. They just came with this clip and then you could wear them around your neck, which was really cool.

Very practical, very cool. And they were just like one piece of plastic over the eyes. Yeah. And they came in different like the plastic around the glass was different colors. And I guess you collected

them all? I don't know. But they were... Pretty rad. Yeah, they were pretty rad. Yeah. I remember in the early 90s, those Oakleys.

Oh, yeah. That were, that, like, Jose Canseco wore. With the over-the-head ones? No, no, no. Nobody actually wore those. Oh, those over-the-head, like, almost like swimming goggles. Yeah, they, like, the over the head ones no no no nobody actually wore those oh those over the

head like almost like swimming goggles yeah they like went over your head yeah but just the ones that were like you know uh just regular glasses but they were just kind of like a little bit angular on the yeah sides and maybe were kind of iridescent had sort of a mirrored lens on them and uh i have a feeling that they're making a comeback with the with the fanny packs yeah iridescent had sort of a mirrored lens on them. And, uh, I have a feeling that they're making a comeback with the, with the fanny packs. Yeah.

Yeah. That's frightening. That's frightening. What's your, what's your go-to sunglass? Well, uh, I've had a pair,

I had, I've had a pair of like Ray-Bans for years that I got in a two for one glasses thing. Nice. So, and not weirdly, not off one of my Facebook friends posting the Ray-Ban deals. Isn't that

the universal sign of my pants been hacked? Yeah, I think it is. But the deals seem great. Yeah, it is a good deal. I was like, okay. And I'd like to think my friends would alert me to a cool deal like that. But this year I just got, because I got my glasses from that Bailey Nelson place

and they have clip-on sunglasses. Yes. So I got myself a pair of clip-on sunglasses for my glasses and let me tell you, they're great. Hell yeah.

Yeah. That's what I do. Yeah, do you? Yeah. It's like the best. Yeah. Yeah. I have prescription sunglasses too,

but since I got the clip-ons. But it's like you can't do the switchy, you know like yeah you need to bring two pairs yeah and then i saw a guy wearing sunglasses over his prescription glasses yeah that's lockers uh no no they were just regular sunglasses but he was wearing two pairs and i was like well it's a look yeah it's a look it's a look It's a look Yeah This last one comes from Chris R. In New Haven, Connecticut I was in the pharmacy

And heard an announcement For Riddler Your order is ready After a few confusing moments Ridley Ridley Your order is ready

Uh huh Um What is the Riddler order? The Riddler needs Pfft It's at a pharmacy Does the Riddler ever do that female doctor riddle? The Batman? Finds out the Batman sexist.

Yeah, there we go. I can't operate on this song. I'm a Batman. I'm a whoa. Yeah. But it was a woman being Batman anyways. In addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

That's one. Ugh. Spy pod one. Like these people have. Hello, Dave, Graham, and possible guests. This is Jim from Connecticut. I was just at a gas station. Well, it's an overheard. I was just at a gas station, and I was walking up a lot of fun, you know? And then the customer just turned and walked away and said, No, the Vietnam War was no fun at all.

I tell you what, buddy. For my money. It was not a vacation. Yeah, I mean, sure, they make it look fun. They do make it look fun they do make it look fun with the water skiing and what not

Charlie don't surf it was a complicated conflict I've heard a lot of people sum it up but that really doesn't yeah fun oh no fun now in your experience what could have made it

more fun yeah that's true it's good to reflect let's get some constructive criticism so we know for next time yeah

you know I don't know eliminate the draft oh sure the draft seemed pretty contentious the draft seemed like a bit of a drag

you know yeah you know you know probably the whole the whole invading yeah it was probably a mistake more Robin Williams though

oh yeah that's true that was a lot of fun yeah maybe it was just the radio station and none of the conflict yeah

I think we were gonna have a good morning yeah in Vietnam yeah I heard that and I was like I never hear good overheards myself anymore. You're too thirsty for them.

Anyway, here's another one. This is Allie in Milwaukee calling in overheard. I was in my backyard yesterday and overheard my across the alley neighbor who was instructing somebody backing into their parking space and he kept saying watch out for my dumpies

my dumpies watch out for my dumpies and then the child got out of the car and was like your dumpies your dumpies are so junk. Dumpies.

She thinks like. My dumpies. My dumpies. I don't know if we'll get to the bottom of what dumpies are. Yeah. I think they're dumpsters. Is that not what it is? Dumpsters don't deserve a cute nickname.

My dumpies. I feel like you would roll over like a dumpling. Oh, my God. Yeah, he's cute. Put some wontons on the ground. Oh, my dumpies. My dumpies. That's great.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. dumpy it's great oh boy oh boy uh her name was ally yeah your name is ally that's right we both love dumpies and you spell it a-l-l-i-e l-l-i-e yeah billy eilish spells it b-i-l-l-i-e yes nice is that is that do you think why you're such a big fan? I think so. Yeah. I think so. And also because Billie Eilish is just like this, she's just untouchably cool in a way that I will never be. You know,

I'm just like, ah, I think she's got it figured out. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Eat shit, do a lipa.

Yeah. That's right. I don't know who that is, but it's fun to tell yeah yeah you know who she is she sang that song one don't pick up the phone two put the phone back down three stay away from the phone four the devil lives in the phone i got those rules i got them okay final one hi grave damvedam and Possible Desk This is Thomas in Des Moines Calling in with an overheard

It took place outside of a local music venue in town As most local venues are in town Anyway, a man and a woman were outside speaking And the woman was talking about her skin care regimen And she said oh oh yeah you got to get those cukes over your eyes you can't forget the cukes yeah and the man replied with no apparent irony actually i think the way that word is pronounced is cucks I'm a few cold you gotta put those

cucks in your feet yeah people I've been seeing that word a lot on my twitter feed and yeah I'm pretty sure that's what that is yeah

look I won't go to a spa unless there's cucks around that's all I'm gonna say yeah yeah yeah that's how you know it's a quality spa I like a water with a couple cucks in it.

Yeah, yeah. So I go to the beach in Kelowna, buh-boing. You're like one of the pioneers of using buh-boing as sort of a... That's me. To point out a punchline. Yeah, I'm like, I made a joke, guys. You're the baboing lady. Baboing.

Allie, baboing and whistle. That's right. I think it would take off. No, I think baboing would really. You should, you know, forget about all these celebrities trying to copyright their catchphrases. Should I copyright baboing? Baboing, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Why not? Baboing. I'd Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why not? Baboing. I'd buy a baboing t-shirt. You know, sometimes I just think that words come out of my mouth and I can't control what I say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Come on. Free spirit.

Yeah. The mercy of the words. Yeah. The same thing happened to Michael Richards. There's all these words. There's all these words. He just picked the wrong one. I have that in common.

I actually was watching a video with one of the students I work with. He's 14. And we were watching, like, binging with Babish. You know that? He's a YouTuber. Okay.

And he was taking a juicy ham out of the oven. And it was like 10 a.m. And I just was like, hot damn, look at that ham. And then the 14-year-old turned and looked at me and he was like, it would have cost you zero dollars to not say that. Oh, wow. I was just like, damn. I disagree.

Hot damn, look at that ham. That's a t-shirt. That's too much dude. Yeah. Too much dude. Yeah. You know, it was a good ham. I think hot damn, look at that ham.

Yeah. Is also a category. I think that kid will grow up and he'll realize that's a great thing to say but boy yeah yeah it's true but also just like if that was a sitcom character's catchphrase that you had to somehow work in a ham to every episode well like with steve urkel yeah so many catchphrases yeah you could have put that in but like they were like

did I do that yeah sure hi Carl hi Carl I love you Laura I'm wearing suspenders yeah yeah yeah the classics

but anybody got any cheese was one of them that's right that I don't know how that that's like on the border of

hot damn look at that ham. Why did he need so much cheese? Was he a mouse? Yeah. Well, as a kid, I remember watching that show being like, what's Urkel's deal? Like, I don't get it. Like, I was like, is he okay?

Now, if a kid dressed like Urkel, you'd be like, that's the coolest kid in the class. Billy Urkel. He's got it going on. Yeah. Allie, this brings us to the end of the episode oh fun

fun thank you so much for coming back on the show thanks for having um anything coming up

in the mid August to early September you want to plug well if you're a teen and you're looking for a camp just kidding uh it's sold out

yeah we have enough teens yeah we got enough uh yeah what's happening uh yeah I've got me and uh Carrie do brunch at Little Mountain Gallery every month in Vancouver. Okay. Next one, September 14th.

Nasty Women's at the Biltmore in Vancouver. Come check that out. And also, Carrie and I have a podcast called You've Got Brunch, and we watch rom-coms, and then we destroy them. Oh, my God. Yeah, it's very fun. Wow. What was the latest? We just did we destroy them. Oh my God. Yeah. It's very fun. Wow. What was the latest?

We just did a must love dogs. Must love dogs. Yeah. It's a, it's an insane film where it's, uh, it's John Cusack and Diane Lane and no chemistry is in it. No.

And neither of them own a dog. So it's a confusing film. Yeah. You know, the only dog film for me the truth about cats and dogs roadside romeo yeah we did watch the truth about cats and dogs as well though it's a great film um so yeah check out that that sounds like a really fun great pod yeah um well thank you so much for being our guest i feel like the new generation of podcasters are calling them pods. We call them casts.

Yeah. Oh, a schism. Yeah. That's fine. I feel like the new generation of podcasters are calling schisms schisms. It's part of our charm. Thank you to all the listeners out there for listening. Oh, yeah.

We will be in Calgary. Yeah. We never mentioned that. It's a land of no... No lakes. Of some lakes, but not great lakes. Yeah, yeah. Not the great lakes, but some lakes.

We'll be there September 8th at the library. Yeah. Absolutely. We're going to be at the library. Where's the library? Downtown? Downtown. Big new library.

So fancy. So fancy. You know, we're the library downtown, downtown, big new library. So fancy, so fancy. Uh, you know, we're renewing books. Yeah. The, uh, stamping your, your return date. Yeah. We, uh, we're going to shift or there are no tickets for this event. You just show up September 8th. It's a Sunday, I think.

So, uh, it feels like a Sunday. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a Sunday for sure think. Feels like a Sunday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a Sunday for sure. Okay, good, yeah. And thanks, everybody, for listening. If you like the show, please tell your friends to come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org

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