Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 616

Episode Date: January 6, 2020

No guest this week as we talk school lunches, actor names, and the weather on the moon.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 616 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who wishes you a very happy and prosperous 2021. Mr. Dave Schumke. Yes, I would wish you nothing but the worst for this year. Yeah, you were getting a jump on 2020. Oh yeah, sure, I guess so.

Yes, Prospero Año y Felic felicidad is that the part of the song i don't really i kind of mumble that bit um yeah i'm not familiar with the works of bonium uh i i consider it a jose feliciano original oh yes yeah feliz navidad feliz navidad. Feliz Navidad. Feliz Navidad. Prospero Año. Felicidad. Yeah. Which translates to I want to wish you a Merry Christmas from the bottom of my heart. Yes.

Yes. So we're now into the bottom of my heart time. My heart has reached a brand new low. Yeah. It's sinking. We have no guest today. No no guest this is an unexpected no guest but you know what uh we're we're duty bound to to make this show yeah we uh we did do we sign a deal with the devil it was a twilight zone episode yeah i don't know who exactly it was but it was a weird like genie monkey paw devil thing. Yeah, and everything was different.

We woke up and everything was different. Yeah. Yeah. Dogs were walking cats instead of the usual cats walking dogs. Yeah. I've never seen a Twilight Zone. No? No.

I've seen a lot of the original one from the 60s. Yeah. Yeah. I've seen a lot of the original one from the 60s. Yeah. Yeah. And a lot of them were, I woke up in a world where everybody's a pig. Yeah. Everybody's like a pig face.

Yeah, I've seen like little bits and like. Yeah. Screen caps. Screen caps. So I guess people back then took photographs. They took view masters. So I know pig face. photographs they took view masters so i know pig face i know um i guess there's one where a guy uh wants a bunch of books but then his glasses break oh yeah that's right i've seen gremlin on

the wing oh yeah gremlin um i haven't seen it i know of it yeah and then there's but like a lot of them are just waking up like there's ones where like an astronaut goes to some planet, but it turns out it's just Earth. It's basically the plot of Planet of the Apes as well. Hey, whoa. You know what? You've had 50 years. Yeah, exactly. And if you watch The Simpsons, you knew that it was Earth all along.

So, yes, our guest canceled on us. Didn't cancel. Just couldn't make it on time. Couldn't make it on time. And we've, our guest canceled on us. Didn't cancel, just couldn't make it on time. We've got to be out of here, so this is going to be a short episode. Yeah, we're just going to hit all the

notes that we have planned. And then we'll send you off to enjoy the year. Yeah. Feliz Navidad. Again, that's Merry Christmas. Oh, yes, right. Are there any...

What are you doing New Year's Eve? What are you doing New Year's Eve? Same old New Year's Eve. There's the countdown. There's the countdown. There's Ryan Seacrest. Netflix does a kids countdown that you can get early.'s fun uh so i mean you

missed it countdown to know us. If there was an adult's version of Lunchables, is that something you would eat once a week, several times a week? What is a Lunchable? It's like a circular meat. Circular meat cracker. Is it crackers? Rectangular cracker. It's all the shapes.

Like some sort of triangle cheese. Is it?? Rectangular cracker. Uh-huh. It's all the shapes. Like some sort of triangle cheese. Is it? Yeah, or is it spreadable cheese? Is it the cheese whiz? Because we, like, I remember, we never had Lunchables, but we definitely had those crackers that came with a red rectangle to spread cheese whiz on them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I don't know if Lunch lunchables did it come with a fruit

cup was there a fruit component i don't i'm picturing it as being like a kid's charcuterie board yeah yeah uh so yes you'd get like a little fig jam but uh it's it was uh literally uh it was the least you could do for your kids yeah send them with a lunchable i mean we do give our kids we're not like uh sugar-free parents uh we are that's a losing battle being yeah yeah yeah and but i like sometimes i feel bad when i'm just packing a little snack for them to go to like daycare for an hour yeah and i'm like oh i did put in three completely processed like right i gave them like a uh um a rice crispy square and emptied out a pixie stick just into the bag true yeah ziplock full of sprite where is that that they have you ever seen pictures of that where they serve you uh oh i've soda in a plastic bag i had that yeah so it's in several we had it in costa rica

yeah uh costa rica and it was just because they i was back on the glass bottles and they were like it's so worth so much to us to keep this glass bottle yeah yeah to get the return so you have to drink out of whatever bag we have handy um yeah because uh i imagine uh having kids, your access to snacks has gone up. You must have everything in snackable size. It's true, but I don't ever... Those Rice Krispie Squares that are prepackaged are the only kid snack I will eat. Okay.

I don't want fruit by the foot. No. I don't want the little fruit gummy things that aren't quite gummy. Like, they're not as bad as giving your kid, like, gummy bears. Right. But they're not as good as giving them fruit. Yeah. But, like, it says maybe on the package that it has vitamin C in it.

Made with real juice. Yeah. Yeah. I remember a snack when I was a kid called Fun Fruits. Mm-hmm. And they were, for sure, there was no fruit in them. They were like a juju. Sure.

Yeah. But in a smaller package, which I guess made you feel like, you know, I'm portioning out. I'm portion control. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah, I think that's all those prepackaged things can say about them is that we've portioned it out for you. Yeah, I remember a kid that I went to school with would get Dunkaroos, but he hated Dunkaroos. And so I could trade him for my Funfruits and really clean up Dunkaroo-wise. I never traded stuff.

No? But I always threw my sandwich away. Why did you throw your sandwich away? It did not appeal to me. Was it the same sandwich every day or just the concept of a sandwich? I don't know. Looking back now, it was heaven it was lettuce turkey and mayonnaise on white bread yeah like the best the best thing

the bed travels well yeah yeah yeah uh like if you if you were going to work today and you had that with you you wouldn't you maybe wouldn't even make it all the way to work before you ate it. And that is the problem with bringing food to work. Oh, yeah. Is knowing it's there and like... Dreaming about it. Dreaming about it. At least if you are buying your lunch, you're like, well, they don't serve breakfast at 10 in the morning.

Or they don't serve lunch at 10 in the morning. Yeah. They don't cook up a bowl of ramen at 10 in the morning for you so you have to wait yeah what's your because you you work in a land where there's food trucks aplenty not all not in the winter oh really yeah they're there but they're not. So you got to fend for yourself winter wise. There's, uh, about four regular restaurants. Yeah. That, uh, cycle through. We kind of cycle through and, but I don't tell anyone where I'm going.

Cause I want to be by myself. Yeah. Nothing beats eating lunch by yourself. Uh, and then like once or twice a week, I'll, uh, if, if we can arrange it, I'll bring in. I'll never make a lunch, but I'll bring in leftovers. Oh, okay. Which, you're still brown bagging it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, still counts.

And it still is something that's on your mind from the moment you leave. Oh, yeah. If there's ever leftovers from dinner, that's all I'm thinking about as I go to sleep that night, when I wake up in the morning. That's what I'm thinking of when I'm filling my Tupperware to go to work. That's what I'm thinking about when I'm leaving my Tupperware on the counter before I'm forgetting about it. Yeah. I'm at 10, 1030 in the morning. I'm like, oh boy, I really wish I hadn't forgotten that on the counter.

And then does it just become public domain here just anybody can have it's not that uh sought after i wonder what my dad ate for lunch i should ask him my dad made all our lunches. Oh yeah? And I threw them all away. But I bet you could have traded that sandwich for something. Yeah. What was the, like the best thing we got was, we would always get whatever, a juice box. Yeah. And then eventually, I think we, like when like Costco came into the fray, we would get like koala springs. Holy, really?

You remember that? I do remember that. Yeah. Sparkling whatever. Yeah. It's kind of, uh, uh, it wasn't quite as tame as a La Croix. No, no. It was a little more flavorful.

Yeah. And it, uh, and then like those little, a little thing of powdered donuts. Oh, really? No wonder I couldn't concentrate in school. Powdered donuts, like with the white icing sugar? Mm-hmm. Wow. Huh.

I don't think I ever was gifted a donut. Look, we had a good. Yeah. I mean, we're living high off the hog. And then things came crashing down. Sure. Yeah. You know what I'm drinking now?

Water. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The thing I never drank. Your whole childhood. Unless there was a lineup of people behind me at the water fountain and then i took my time yeah or if you were outside and you saw a hose and you're like drink it right from the hose rubbery yeah oh boy this has been sitting in the sun all day oh boy the first the first 30 seconds are quite warm.

It's the reverse of a shower. You know what I mean? That's true. Yeah. How so? Oh, because, you know, when you, like, when you turn the shower on, it's that burst of cold. Yeah, why is that? I don't know, and I hate it.

I hate it. I hate that burst of cold. I mean, I know why that is. It's because the water's just in the pipes yeah cool you gotta get all that pipe water out before your new water your warm water comes in but why can't that pipe water be warm my house is warm yeah yeah yeah yeah like why where are my pipes where are they they're in between the insulation i assume yeah i don't know shouldn't they be insulated shouldn't they be insulated? Shouldn't they be hot all the time?

There's one. I have a pipe in my bathroom that's just always hot. It's just like a hot water pipe. Uh-huh. Why can't it? Yeah, why? Exactly. Why can't all the pipes be hot all the time?

Except in the summer when it's too hot. Well, then we could cool it off. Do you take cold showers? Not on purpose, but I have taken cold showers. Just to get the old urges down? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about, like, so in the summer, you just take shorter showers? No, in the summer. But a hot, hot, hot one.

I like, I take a hot shower, but then at the end, turn it a little cool, cool off. Really? Yeah. Oh. Because then I feel like I'm just like heat pumping it all day. Do you ever drink a shower beer? No. I think, I feel like I hate the feeling of having drank and then having a shower.

So drinking and having a shower at the same time would really put me off. What about a shower coffee? Yeah. I love just to shower coffee. Yeah. I would love, I love just splashing around. I've done that where I've been like gone out to, you know, run errands before Abby wakes up and then, uh,

haven't had my shower yet. And then bring a home coffees for the both of us. And then I'm like, well, this was the enormous coffee. It's going to take me an hour to drink and yeah i gotta get going so and you've gotta you've gotta take a shower anyways um doctor prescribed you've been prescribed showers do you um a perfect world yeah you shower every day okay yeah i got to i uh i I got to. If I miss a day of showering, it looks like I've been camping for a week.

Yeah, I feel like I need to. I probably don't need to. No, I probably... No, that's not true. I would look like I was camping. As long as I change clothes. Yeah, but I know I know. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. It's like... It's no good. If you... It's like getting off a really long flight. You're like, well, technically it's the same day, but. Yeah. I've been sitting in, a million asses have been in this seat. Oh, yeah.

A million farting asses. I, recently I've been to, like, I've have a pass to go to the Air Canada lounge When I'm flying Why? Because you fly so much? Because I fly so much And this was a gift from My parents

They were like you fly a lot It wasn't just something because you fly so much The airline gave it to you No but there's people That in the lounge You fly a lot. It wasn't just something because you fly so much, the airline gave it to you. No. But there's people that in the lounge, at least in the Vancouver one, that there's a shower. And people shower in that lounge. It's right in the middle. It's right in the middle.

It's right next to the eggs. Yeah. So, you know, it's breakfast and a show. And they make little announcements that uh tip your waiters yeah and they're like put them on the glass your flight will you this uh do a pressed ham yeah this flight is delayed and uh if you're in the shower put them on the glass the uh but i never thought of that before showering in an airport i guess if you're on a layover. Yeah, and you're like going around the world or whatever, if you're going on an eight-hour or just coming from an eight-hour flight.

In the Jules Verne classic, Around the World in 80 Days, how many showers did it take? Zero, I suppose. I mean, back in those days, if you showered once a year it was like getting your photograph taken you would get one for your whole life and a shower once a month if you were lucky yeah or a bath probably yeah a bath and and you shared it you yeah exactly like first grandpa went in and it went in just the grandpa went in and then it went in just the grandpa went in and then grandma went in and then you went in and you're like grandpa what are you still doing in here and he's dead he's dead

what a twist um yeah and also like you had to like boil water to have in a tub i mean that's not that far water's still water yeah but it still needs to be but i feel like you could only do it like one pot at a time like a bath with is like a huge event yeah um i always uh when i think of old baths i'm only thinking of like princesses having baths and like fresh milk and, and, uh, rose petals, which by the way, how bad that would smell. If you had just paid, totally.

You're like, Oh, what smells off in here? What is, uh, I I've infected yeast. I didn't even know I had, I was just bathing in dairy product.

Fresh, though. Yeah, fresh. I mean, as fresh as you could get from the cow, bring it all the way up to the castle. Oh, yeah, I guess so. Like, they don't have livestock at the castle. So, you know, do they? So they go, boy, they wouldn't go bucket they'd go cow i guess it would be but you know buckets from the cow no i think yeah if i was the princess i'd

be like i want to see this i want to see it a lot yeah teat to tub i always think of the old west oh sure like that you would go to a place that was just like a row of baths. Yeah. And sit in it and let somebody pour water on you. And I guess some of those outdoor bathtubs still exist side by side for Cialis commercials. Yes. For people to, couples to take outdoor baths and get an erection whenever they need it. I mean, I don't know how fast these

things work is it like you take you take a cialis and then an hour later the alice is the one you take every day and so you can get it when you need it oh i see okay have a have a boner leave a boner yes yes uh and uh viagra is the take it when you need it i need it on the double fair enough um and then uh you know just diet and exercise really for the rest for the rest of your body yeah yeah yeah i guess so yeah what do you as far as diet what do you feed your boner uh pineapple chunks. Oh, gross. Oh, I know why. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Um, well, uh. Mine, um. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, well, it has a mostly liquid diet and I have a little straw.

Oh, yeah. Does it sometimes do cocaine? Although I hear that that's bad for it oh really isn't it i mean cocaine in general i think is bad for for the whole system yeah um but yeah i don't know people must be doing doing sex on cocaine yeah for sure the toxic twins oh sure they would do they would do a line and then uh i was trying to think something that rhymes with wine yeah anyways you're not a rapper no that's true that is true but i feel like i should be able to make just a general of just a basic i know yeah you know uh yeah i'll circle back to it can't believe our guests thought they could claim their bag in the time it took to get to my house

they checked a bag checking a bag is like it now that it costs money it's the it's just such a uh it's like an extravagance yes like back in the day it was like check a bag or don't what yeah take a bag leave a bag yeah but now that it's like 25 bucks yeah what are you how long are you staying are you moving yeah yeah i'm at like and are you going? Are you moving? Yeah Yeah Like And are you going someplace That doesn't have laundry? What is your Cause I'm about to go away For about a week

We're recording this Uh Before Christmas Still We're stacking up These apps Yeah Dave and I can't sleep Cause we're too excited

We're too excited about Christmas And Santa And it's I guess The pitter patter of reindeer On our rooftops yeah uh but uh we uh so i'm going away for seven days six days i i will and every time i take a trip i will uh count the number of days i'm away yeah and pick that many underwear yeah plus one right just in case just in case i

shit my pants for the first time in 10 years yeah 10 years 10 years congratulations has it been a decade i mean i was sick once yeah but that wasn't my fault and i who who's that i guess i guess it's anyone's fault it was mine yeah it was uh i guess i blame the sleeping pill i took that took effect before the diarrhea of medicine took effect it was very sick what a race yeah it was well it wasn't like the sleeping pill i guess it was gravel gravel uh puts you to sleep yeah i should have waited to take the Gravol. Right. Yes. Yes. Before the other one took effect.

But I was wide awake once that happened. Oh, yeah. It's like natural cocaine. Wakes you right up. And also bad during sex. I do the same. I pack pack but i don't know why every place that i go i have access to laundry yeah like i don't i don't have to pack i'm not going to the gold rush i'm not and even then they yeah they would have uh a row of bathtubs yeah i could wash my stuff in the river uh-huh um well people are panning gold yeah just upstream hey could you not yeah could you get downstream from us yeah could you stop

washing your gaunch yeah right right but i need to tell you the guys the diarrhea medicine didn't work in time. But yeah, that's the only thing that I packed. Well, socks as well. I'll pack as many socks as I need. But then shirts and pants. It's like two. Two of each. Yeah.

Whatever. Yeah. Unless we're driving. So it's like. Yeah. Space is not a premium. No premium it's not like we're packing we pack Ikea bags like giant bags that are just open

just loose garments yeah I'll just be packing like a classic carry on and you're gone for six days yeah and but that's all I need. Let's see.

You know, I, that my parents have laundry or they did the last time I was there. Yeah. Oh, I hate to tell you. The laundry's been repossessed. Yeah. We renovated the house and now we have two kitchens, no laundry. But you can wash your clothes in the dishwasher. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. We have one of those things that keeps the shape of your baseball cap. Yeah. And you can put your clothes in the dishwasher yeah yeah yeah we have one of those uh things that keeps the shape of your baseball cap yeah and you can put your underwear on that but then you have to wear it like a baseball cap i'm gonna wear mine backwards cool like a jump hey um do you know that he fred durst fred durst uh just he's like a director now yeah and he just there was a movie that just came out like he made a movie with john travolta right yeah where john

travolta plays like i don't know a guy that maybe has some sort of brain damage though were they filming that um the uh yeah because I follow John Travolta on Instagram ever since he's become a proud bald man. Yeah. And for a while he was just posing pictures of him and Fred Durst together. Both being bald or was Fred Durst wearing a baseball hat to try and cover up his bald? I forget. Because Fred Durst is a longtime bald. had to try and cover up his bald. I forget.

Because Fred Durst is a longtime bald. Mm-hmm. And. Even when he was, when he took the baseball hat off, when he had hair, it would be bleached. Yeah. To look like a bald. Yeah.

So. So short and so bleached. Why is, why did we just, as a society, let Rob Zombie just effortlessly make the transition to director, but Fred Durst, we seem to be putting barricades in place. I don't know that we are... I think... I guess Rob Zombie

kind of pulled himself up by his bootstraps a little bit. He kind of put himself into a genre where there aren't as many people policing it. Right. Like, just like weird clown horror. Yeah, whereas the Fred Durst movie might be, I don't know anything about it.

No, I just know that John Travolta has a very funny wig in it. Mm. And it's not, it's supposed to be bad. Yeah, but it's not supposed to be bad. No, no, no. But Fred Durst, like, this is not his first rodeo. Yeah. Is it? It's not to be bad. Yeah, but it's not supposed to be bad. No, no, no. But Fred Durst, this is not his first rodeo. Yeah. It's not his first movie?

No. Oh, well then we haven't made it hard for Fred Durst. No, I guess. We haven't made it hard enough. Yeah, we haven't made it hard enough. That's true. He did that song for Mission Impossible 2. Cool.

That maybe was his first movie role movie role yeah that was his way of getting in there got to be around the director machinery of it yeah kind of like uh how ron howard got into it yes you know just slowly slowly seeped his way into being a director and you know what and ron howard one of our most powerful directors one of our best he's uh you know uh he directed solo or part of it anyways oh okay yeah like uh when the other director was let go okay or was it yeah yeah these uh star wars movies it seems to be running smoothly yeah everything's not a lot of uh people being replaced at the last minute no yeah for the most part it seems like a pretty uh you know they've got they've got the supply chain figured out star wars wise uh and people want

them oh people want more than ever yeah um and uh oh uh you've seen none of the new ones no none of the new ones but i will see cats so yeah i'm probably gonna see cats uh for the first trailer that i saw i was like this i think this is gonna be destined to be like a movie that i watch probably as many times as i've seen burlesque which is quite a few yeah like just it's got all the ingredients. It looks good. It does look good. It looks as good as, it looks no better or worse than you would expect cats to be. No, that's true. Like we're making a movie about cats and they have cat asses and.

Sexy cat asses. And human boobs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So what's the problem? The problem is, is because if this doesn't do well, then there's no way we're getting a Starlight Express movie. We gotta go. We gotta go see it.

Yeah. I'm, so I believe the plan is for us to go away for Christmas. And then I'll have like three days when I don't have to work when I'm back. Nice. And I will like go see two movies a day. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. You're going to go double feature.

I feel like I might have to. That's awesome. If I ever want to, if I ever want to see my children again. children again um and uh you know this is it's funny this time of year is either it's either oscar contenders or movies that uh the studio just like dumped yeah at the end of the year well they'll dump them more in january that's true january becomes like a real but there's like the star wars's that are yeah not dumps there and they're not going to win any awards either yeah huh hmm huh when's avid when are the new avatars coming out not soon enough in my book i feel like they're going to be closer to cats than they are to star

wars they're going to be a lot of sexy blue people yeah they were very sexy in the first one they had sex in the movie they did and uh you know everybody was like this is fine it opened the door for shape of water really this is fine everyone said and they these cats no they weren't cats they were navi yeah this is how long ago was it i feel like it was 1995 that's what it feels like and who's your favorite character oh the the one played by geez what was his name sam not waterston oh boy i think it was sam waterston sam worthington was he he was the guy that was also in a Terminator salvation? Last episode, when we counted down the top tens of the decade,

we should have counted down the top ten nobody actors who were in big movies. But he was slated to become, I remember, they were like, this is the next. Alden Ironrickick who is that he was solo i feel like we could count them down now sam worthington yeah uh alden iron rick um who is the who is baby driver oh ansel elgort ansel elgort um Ansel Elgort. Garrett Hedlund from Tron. Wow. This is really, this is a really good list. Yeah.

Who else was like jammed into a franchise? Cause like, I feel like you could, you know, they were all post-shia laboe i feel like taryn egerton has become too too because he because he played uh an elton john he played elton john and those kings of movies are doing well and he was eddie the. Who's the one? Oh, boy. He was in The Amazing Spider-Man 2. And he was also. Oh, boy. Tom Holland?

No. No, not Tom Holland. What's The Amazing Spider-Man? The Garfields. Andrew Garfield ones? I don't know those ones. Anyways, he's one of them. The guy who played

He played maybe the guy That turns into the Green Goblin James Franco James Franco's a star Charlie Hunnam What about Charlie Hunnam Where's he from He was in

I feel like these guys are all Australian He was in S I feel like these guys are all Australian. Yeah. He was in Sons of Anarchy. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. And then he tried to make, like, fuck you for trying to be an actor. He didn't try to do anything.

He was in a movie. No, he was in a bunch of these kinds of, like what did i say his name was hunnam hunnam i'm looking him up right now um harlow hunnam do i want to update this app uh he's in pacific rim oh yeah he played king arthur and king arthur oh yeah i'm putting him on the list yeah Who was the lead in the Guy Ritchie Robin Hood film? Oh, was that this millennium? Yeah, that was a couple years ago, if not a year ago. The only Robin Hood I acknowledge is Russell Crowe. Oh, really?

Because the only one I acknowledge, Costner. Yeah, I never saw that one. We tried to see it, but we were too young. They denied us at the door and I walked home so sad. Oh. Speaking of a movie that I was not

allowed in when I was a youth, but I just watched recently was Bram Stoker's dracula that movie's nuts that movie is insane um what i will say is there is no guy richie uh robin hood it's a king arthur and it's charlie hutt oh nice oh okay okay we were thinking the same guy. Yeah. But, you know, it's hard to become the, you know, the next. The next It Boy. Yeah. Especially when all the old It Boys keep hanging around.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They don't take off. Come on, get out of here, Armie Hammer. Oh, Armie Hammer. He was a guy who was just like, you you know this actor that you've been watching all these years is now in movies I feel like he was just there was no introducing

Armie Hammer the first time I saw him he was the twins oh right yeah yeah yeah that's what I remember I just remember him being the Lone Ranger yes and them just saying like you know starring starring yes

army hammer and just being like what since when with the johnny depp as tonto yeah and this will age well and and it will be do well in the box office because everybody was clamoring for a lone ranger reboot yes they wanted to like, how does he wash his clothes? It's the old west. They want to know about tub stuff. Is he thumping in it? Maybe every generation gets one western where the studios are like, are people interested in westerns?

I don't know. I think too many generations got that like what are the other examples i feel like wild wild west was one horse but then there are the like there's always the like true grit and three dente human like there's always like ones that keep coming back and people are like yes we love westerns and then they try to make a big one yeah make one that's not dirty looking yeah they try to make like uh yeah cowboys versus aliens or whatever yeah yeah i feel like there's one of those where it's like can we reinvent the western have they tried making a space opera? Hmm. I mean, I would watch it only if it was exactly an opera.

If they translated it right from the state a la Cats, right into a movie. If they took space opera, the space opera. Yes, and honored it. But maybe put one more song in so we could get an Oscar nod. Yeah, a Taylor Swift Andrew Lloyd Webber collab. That song's going to be huge. Have you heard it?

No, but it's over the credits. Oh, okay. And, you know, maybe she becomes a goat? No. What is it? The greatest of all time? No, what am I thinking? Egon. She's going to become an Egon. Maybe she becomes a goat? No. What is it? Yeah. Greatest of all time? No. What am I thinking?

Egot. Yeah. Egot. She's going to become an Egon. She's already the goat. That's true. She's already the goat. She's going to become Egon.

Egot Spengler. That's when you get an Emmy, a Grammy, an Oscar, and a National Geographic Award. What do they give awards for best bird and the nominees are taylor swift a toucan um yeah uh and taylor swift that's the great thing about this cat's movie she's only Yeah. And Taylor Swift, that's the great thing about this Cats movie.

She's only, she's just special guest appearance. Bye. And it's my understanding they shot the whole thing in squiggle vision? Or is that Dr. Cats? That's Dr. Cats. Oh, no. Yes. Okay. Uh-oh.

I bought my tickets for this, assuming I would be able to see Andy Kindler all squiggly, viewing bits from his act as though he was talking to the therapist oh no what a great show it was good yeah i have the whole box set never watched it it was it's a fun show if it just comes on yeah yeah and it was a fun way to deliver stand-up comedy. Yeah. Huh. It's funny that nobody else has done anything like it since.

I mean, I guess, does Cranky Anchors count? Cranky Anchors? I've never heard the emphasis put in that. Oh, does Cranky Anchors count? That show is back. Yeah. Yeah. Due to popular demand?

I don't know. I guess they have, like, there's people who still have to answer phones. Yes. So you can only harass people at work? Yeah. Because no one's going to answer their own phone? Yeah. And also, I guess if you're sitting on an intellectual property you want to use it like the jersey shore doesn't just get to sit

there and vanish into nothingness like oh they have to we've got to bring it back bring it back and you know still sell did i wonder did they have Jersey Shore stuff when I landed in the Newark airport? Oh, sure. Yeah, I'm sure you could. In 2019, did they? In 2019. I don't think they did. No.

But I think you wouldn't have to go far to find the situation. T-shirt or. Did she have her own licensed version of the bump it uh what's her name snooks snooks um anyways this is all conjecture we don't know yeah we don't know what type i know the shirts at the newark airport when you first get off the plane are all of uh trump or hillary at the the last time i was there so um did they do a uh snooki snoke uh crossover from um from the most recent star wars stuff yeah yeah yeah snooki snooki i'm guessing i think that's uh that's a fun meme somebody could have created. That probably happened. You know, when, like... I guess Snooki and Wookiee would be also a good thing.

Yeah, yeah. And you could do... I guess Snooki is... When Snoke and Wookiee had sex, they made Snooki. Yeah, that's not bad. I couldn't tell you what Snoke looks like he's he's like uh like a real prude face yeah i feel like he's like a shrivel but you haven't seen any of these no but i see i uh absorb all this star wars stuff via memes so like i've never seen the mandalorian

no no one has but uh you know i know all about it. I know all about Baby Yoda. Oh, is it Baby Yoda happening? They made a Baby Yoda. And the, you know, like I had never saw any of the new Star Wars, but I know all the things. I know all the characters, all the goblins and droids. I see a lot of people are upset that um the baby people are calling baby yoda the meme of the decade go away man meme of the decade is the guy that's spreading the salt real sexy like but who cares the webbies care that's it i do always find it funny when they let i but like who's the council

of oh just an intern that they're like here put together a list of the best memes of the deck just the idea of like the uh anything where there's like a top 10 list and they allow you to include things from the december of the last year still it all counts i remember they did like a top ah boy was it on much music in the 90s they did like top videos of the year yeah and the number one video for like 1997 i'm guessing was uh swallowed by bush oh yeah which also happened to be the top video that week on the countdown laziness yeah could you tell me what the video looked like uh it had yeah and probably is banned not necessarily necessarily and uh they're making spaghetti as a band yeah on sunday morning yeah good vid good vid um uh dave what's going on with you oh not much um it's like we said it's we're still pre-christmas

yesterday was margo's uh school concert okay It was for, she's in kindergarten. And so it's, we had, we didn't have to, we got to go to her concert of just like the whole school. So this is kindergarten up to? Grade seven. Grade seven. Wow. And it was, it was mercifully short. Oh, nice.

And it was like short enough that, because, you know. It wasn't a live retelling of the Irishman. If it was. Yes. With, they got the kindergartners to be young De Niro. But they're like, remember, walk like an old man though. And so it wasn't like the kind of thing where you would see your kid and then leave. Right.

Because it was only an hour. They didn't let every, only every grade did everything, not every class. Right. So there were only. So there were only like elected representatives from each grade. Well, no, and the entire grade did it. But it wasn't like there's three kindergarten classes and they all did a different thing. like elected representatives from each grade. Well, no, and the entire grade did it. Oh, I see. But it wasn't like there's three kindergarten classes

and they all did a different thing. Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So eight songs, and some of them were two minutes, some of them were three. Yeah, and this is, most of the time, is one grade shuffling offstage and the next grade shuffling on? No stage, just the gym. So it was like you stand up in off stage and the next grade shuffling on no stage,

just the gym. So it was like, you stand up in your spot. Oh, your thing. Okay. Oh, that's easy.

Yeah. There's some kids who are both like in the orchestra and in their grade. So they did a little shuffle, but, but no, this wasn't just like, we're all sitting in seats and we're watching on the stage as well. No,

it was shuffles on and shuffles off. Like, everyone was visible the whole time. Right. They told you in advance where your kids' class would be sitting so you could pick your seat. Right. And I gotta say, like, an elementary school orchestra still sounds like you would imagine. What I'm picturing is a lot of recorders. Oh, boy.

A lot of recorders, a lot of blocks. That was in addition to the orchestra with like stringed instruments and then also like horns and stuff. Okay. And then also everyone from like grade one to seven has a recorder. Yeah. So they would incorporate. So just the sound of multiple recorders playing at once?

Mm-hmm. Wow. It's not a Silent Night at all. Friends Gruber and Joseph Moore would not be happy about it. Those are the people who composed Silent Night. That's pretty good. I remember that from, they tell the story of how it was made in the Muppet Christmas, John Denver Muppets album. Oh, okay.

Huh. Stille Nacht, it was called. Yeah. German, Austrian. Okay. All right. The, yeah, it sounds menacing when you say, yeah.

Um, so, uh, were there costumes? Mm. Uh, the kindergartners all made elf hats. Okay.

The, there was, I think the grade ones or twos had, uh, lays on and you're like, oh, they're going to do Malik. No,

they're going to do, they did a, a different Hawaiian Christmasian christmas song i mean as far as i know there's only one way to wish at hawaii it's uh this one was all about surfing and sun and sand cool there was a lot of like boogie woogie santa claus yeah yeah yeah a lot of songs that weren't uh known to me right that were just from like the public domain yeah book or like this is this is the from the trolls christmas special i wish the choir did all i want for christmas is you the number one holiday song of all time is it now uh charts wise yeah the number one mariah Carey song of all time.

Yeah. And it's celebrating its 25th anniversary this year. When I was in England, the brand of chips they have, Walkers, they had Mariah Carey on their holiday. On their holiday crisps? On their holiday bags of crisps. Oh, man. I guess they don't call them bags over there.

They call them satchels. Yeah. Yeah. Satchels of crisps. Oh, man. I guess they don't call them bags over there. They call them satchels. Yeah. Yeah. Satchels of crisps. Crisps. Satchels. Have you seen the clip of, I can't remember the name of the singer. Is it Patti LaBelle singing This Christmas without the backup singers?

I don't know. It's great. Because she just keeps asking for her backup singers and she doesn't know the lyrics. The person holding the cue cards isn't flipping them fast enough. Oh. So she's also,

but she's singing it to the tune. She's saying like, move it faster. I have heard that. I have heard that. It's a few years old, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways,

that's a Christmas tradition that I like to pick up on. So there were costumes. There were songs. Yeah. Was there a little through line? No. No, there was no acting?

There was no, none of that. There was a, every grade went. It was all great. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it was like, I think everyone was satisfied that it went by pretty quickly. Yeah. They got to see their kid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it was like, I think everyone was satisfied that it went back pretty quickly. Yeah. They got to see their kid. Yeah.

I didn't talk to anyone else, but I assume everyone was satisfied. No one was throwing tomatoes. Well, you gotta, you gotta read the comment cards that is on each and every one of your tables. And brought them into the fishbowl.

And then there were speeches at the end. Put the speeches at the front next time sure yeah oh like uh we just are so proud of our kids we're so proud of our kids thanks to this teacher for doing this thanks to this teacher for doing this and we also organized this charity thing here's someone from the charity who's going to talk for 10 minutes and not quite make it to the microphone yeah that sounds about right look at all the pieces of paper they brought they're going to tell you the story of uh you know charity yeah the the four turtles that saved christmas um uh was there ever a ninja turtles christmas there must have been and i mean it's definitely an episode i don't know if they made a whole

a whole hour and a half long special yeah um well that's nice that it was short because i remember them in my youth being a whole evening's worth yes yeah um no when we saw that it was at 1 30 we were like okay cool so it's not going past three right yeah nice we first thought it was at one 30, we were like, okay, cool. So it's not going past three. Right. Yeah. Nice. We first thought it was at 10 30 in the morning and we were like, all I want for Christmas

is lunch. Hey, they don't do enough lunch theater. Dinner theater is a big thing, but lunch theater harder sell. I wonder if Mariah Carey had to do an, I Want for Crisp, Mrs. Crisps. Yeah. By the satchel. She only had to sing it once. She did it on the first take. She's got a great voice.

She does. Mimi. She's a real diva. Yeah. She stood the test of time. And you know what? That's one of my favorite christmas songs about tommy mottola is that who's written about i don't know who it's who she was married to at the time

yeah video at santa well the all this all fits yeah uh i'm buying this i'm buying this is uh this is her you ought to know. Yes. Went down on you in a nativity scene. I was on this email chain with my friends because they were having a, we do this annual Krampus party. Yes. That I won't be there for, but someone didn't know what a kresh was. A kresh? Yeah.

Do you know what a kresh? No. It's a nativity scene. Oh, okay. That's another word for that. I'd never heard it until like, maybe in college, but. Yeah.

But it's not that common a word, I guess. No, I've never heard it. And. My only chime in on the, on the email chain was, uh, so-and-so is a real crash test dummy over here. And did that get like lots of likes and ha ha's? Well,

an email chain doesn't really work that way. Oh, okay. Uh, like, so, so liked your comment. No,

people just went on with the conversation. I'm not going to the party though though, so this is all they get. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you should emphasize that. Like, this is all you get this year, so enjoy it. Enjoy my commentary. What's up with you? Well, last week, I went to Winnipeg, and you know what?

It was really cold. It was. Did we not talk about that? No, we talked. Last week we talked about me going to Nanaimo. Oh, right. Yeah. But no, I went to Winnipeg for a whole week.

Don't. I did. This was Winnipeg in December. Yeah. And one of the days, I believe it was colder in Winnipeg than it is on the moon. That was, that's always a comparison they like to make. Oh boy. Well, how cold is it on the moon?

Cold. Does the moon only have the one temp? Yeah. And it's usually like, they don't have a, like a hot summer. Yeah. They don't have like the tropics. Yeah. Like if they did, then more species than just human would have went up there

you know what i mean if you know what i mean um but yeah it was like you think that like cockatiels and stuff yeah fly up there tropical birds i think i think yeah humans are the only species uh dumb enough to go to another planet that's colder than the one we got. Oh, planet. Oh, yeah, the planet of the moon. Anyways, whatever it is, a star. Yeah. Moonmen up there.

I'm afraid these moonmen are going to invade our planet. I don't think so. They think our planet's too warm for them, you know? True. But they might go right to Winnipeg. Oh, boy, it's hotter than Earth today. So, like, it couldn't go outside. It wasn't colder than Mars.

No, it wasn't colder than Mars. Because they've made that comparison as well. Moon and Mars are similar climates, I guess. I guess. I guess. But I just know that there was like a very easy way for people to check whether or not it was cold enough in Winnipeg to make that comparison to the moon. And when they went on to the moon. Yeah. When the astronauts did.

And they brought that little go-kart. Yeah. Did they have to like plug it in overnight? Yep. And if you look closely at the first moon landing, they're all wearing scarves. That's true. They're, they're wearing scarves.

Uh, and that you can't, the reason that it sounds so muffled when he says, uh, one small step from it, because Scarfer, that's true. Um,

but yeah, so it was like so cold. It was so cold that like, you couldn't go outside for more than, let's say, two minutes. Without your dick falling off? Yeah, without chapping your dick. That's where the Kennedys used to summer. Yeah, Chappaquiddick.

Yep. But yeah, like my eyes would just start, uh, crying from being out in the cold. I guess they're crying to prevent themselves from freezing. Yeah. And they're also just letting me know that you feel sad. Yeah.

This is sad. This is sad and cold. Uh, and I, I quite like, I like Winnipeg. Yeah. I'm the opposite of the weaker lands.

Um, they hate Winnipeg. They hate it. Uh, but I, like, I like Winnipeg. Yeah. I'm the opposite of the weaker lands. Um, they hate Winnipeg. They hate it. Uh, but I, um, yeah, like I didn't spend a lot of time outside,

but the time that I did, my body went into full revolt. So if you're just inside the whole time, uh, how do you know if you like Winnipeg? I, well, I went from place to place in a car.

Uh, so that was, that was key to my experience. Did you rent a car? No, I just had people be shuttled around. Okay. Yeah. Good people of Winnipeg shuttled me around.

They don't have Uber? They have another thing? They have another thing. They have, yeah. But they have... Ride hailing. Yeah, yeah. Which I didn't sign up for because I was like, yeah, my pig man oh and they did then they did and uh how many friends do you

have in winnipeg tim gray tim gray and his fabulous wife dana yeah and they were i'm guessing 90 of the driving you around uh yeah and also the the club sends somebody to pick you up every night of course very nice because otherwise i guess i just wouldn't show up yeah how far was the hotel from the club far enough a car right away yeah um and uh yeah it was like uh i had a cable that had different channels than what i'm used to yeah so you know being in a hotel is is love it's an exotic experience because you don't get any of your news from back home no that's true and you get to find out like all the same news stories are happening in this city like oh a car drove into a gym yeah well the big news story upon landing there was uh maybe a week or two before i got there uh somebody had stolen a fire truck and uh so i was like uh this is this

is what's going on this is what people will be talking about uh any reference to it got a big laugh i remember when that guy stole a fire truck yeah and everybody's like oh man our city yeah one great city the um uh and i there was a mall across the street from where i was staying was it the bad mall uh no it was last time uh no no it's a like a good mall it's got a movie theater in it uh it's a fine mall it's like a good mall. It's got a movie theater in it. It's a fine mall. It's got a bookstore. One great mall. One great mall.

It's got a co-op. Oh, what do they sell? Groceries. Groceries and gas and drugs. Oh, okay. But not illegal drugs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We sell legitimate groceries and gasoline and a little, uh,

heroin. A little something for mom and dad. Mom and dad. Yeah. The kids love gas and groceries. There's something here for everyone. I remember, uh,

as a kid, there were oftentimes like the brick or something would have hot dogs and yeah balloons kool-aid yeah for kids and i guess that was fun enough to watch your parents go around and look at couches like this was this was a good trade-off i mean that's kind of what ikea still does it's like yeah costco just like cheap hot dogs and soft serve yeah something to just drag your kids along yeah yeah um and also it's also fun to go in the ball pit and if your kids are too young to go in the ball pit make them sit in the furniture yeah go climb around on the couches the other thing that was happening in winter peg when i was there is uh they had a rash of uh

liquor store robberies uh that i think some enterprising youths realized that you could just run in and steal liquor and they didn't have any security protocol oh cool and so that this was happening all over the city and i was like why isn't that happening in every city all the time? Always. Cause no liquor stores have any. The one at Kingsgate mall does. Oh yeah. They got, they got security guards. They got a guy. I've seen some stuff go down there.

Yeah. Those guys, they, the, the, particularly at that mall are all guys that are kind of like Dwight fruits. Yeah. Yeah. They all kind of want to be cops a little bit yeah the um banks seem to have a lot of unnecessary security because i don't know if people are robbing banks as much these days yeah that's a good and the security guard mostly just opens

the door for you yeah what what does a person who wants to do an armed robbery convenience store i guess still has some cash yeah who has cash that's tough like where like a restaurant or they wouldn't have very much cash it's all debitbit or like, you know, Uber Eats orders that they're just fulfilling. So it's like the money doesn't even, a card didn't even come into their store. Maybe, maybe it is liquor store. Maybe it's still liquor store, but still people are, they can't have, they must just have a float. Yeah. But there's like, there's definitely restaurants that are, let's say, cash only on them.

But I don't see them getting robbed a bunch. No, but if I ever was going to. Yeah, that would be where I went. But it's weird that somebody just figured out that you could do this at a liquor store, that you could just walk in, take a bottle, and walk out. Yeah. But I don't understand what the holdup was in figuring that out you know because it's pretty easy yeah but do they do they chase you out do they yeah what do you do but i mean like isn't that the thing for any store anywhere you could just run in steal

something and run out and it's the question of like do the people care people making minimum wage care enough to chase somebody and i've seen i remember like seeing somebody get chased out of a buffet who they dined and dashed and uh they're eating more than they could all they could eat i I'll show you. But what was in it for that? It must have been the guy who owned the place, I guess, looking back. But what was he going to do if he caught the guy? Give me back that foodie weight.

Yeah, exactly. I guess wash dishes or sing. You know the arrangement. Sing. You have to sing. How much did you eat? you have to sing how much did you eat you have to sing uh yeah well that would be the best

if tonight's entertainment is somebody who tried to skim out on their bill isn't that where the term sing for your supper comes from I guess so I don't know presumably it's people who enter the no yeah I guess it's people who enter the restaurant. No, yeah, I guess it's agreed upon before the food is ordered.

Yeah, it's very rare at the end of a meal that they're like, okay, well, debit credit or song. Yeah. Debit credit or, you know, born this way. Yeah. That is my go-to i'm beautiful i'm on the right i was born this way baby i was born this way. Yes, the breakdown.

All right. Well, you're off the hook. Here's your gazpacho. Gazpacho? Oh, boy. Gazpacho. And, you know, if you want to tip us, we accept, like, poker face. like a poker face.

I bought something at a store the other day that wasn't, it was a purely retail exchange. There was no, and it had an automatic tip thing. Automatic? Yeah, like it just went. It didn't,

but it didn't automatically take a tip from you. No, but it gave, it was like add tip, just automatically went to add tip and then gave like percentages yeah and i was like is this is this where we're at yeah is this what we're doing uh i did tip because i was like i don't know how to put zero i don't want to be the guy who punches in zero i I know it's tough. Yeah.

But like, yeah, sometimes there are like things are programmed and you're just like, I didn't order the thing that required the work. Yeah. Like you didn't have to like help me find the thing. I'd literally walked in, picked something off the shelf and was like, I would like to buy this. Yeah. Or it's like, I, uh, I i'm gonna get a cup of coffee and a $20 bag of beans am i tipping you on the $23 total yeah yeah it's uh uh i mean look i want a tip hey i want a tip too but i won't yeah but for for literally you being the only thing standing in my way of this being a

completely human list transaction, which many stores have. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Soon they're going to have those self checkouts are going to have, do you want to tip the rope on? And I will,

I will. Cause I will fear reprisal. Yeah. Uh, they'll remember me. Yeah. because i will fear reprisal yeah uh they'll remember me yeah will skynet remember how nice you treated technology before they became smart yeah i mean because you know there's a lot of youtube videos of people testing robots and pushing them down with a hockey stick yeah

and uh i've watched those videos but will sky didn't know you watched those videos and you kind of got off on them yeah then i kind of like that i liked it a lot yeah um and will they be able to use that against me yeah will they be able to tempt me into a back alley somewhere with uh some kind of circuit pie. Yeah. Yeah. That's what I call a naughty videos on the internet, a circuit pie. Um, anyways,

uh, so yeah, I went to, uh, went to Winnipeg. I loved it. I loved it. Um,

I had, uh, you do shows all week at this club. Oh, you do call it. The club is called rumors. Rumors. You do Tuesday through Saturday. this club. Oh. This club is called Rumors. Rumors. You do Tuesday through Saturday.

Oof. And this time of year, a lot of Christmas parties. Oh. And they're pretty well behaved, which is not the usual case with Christmas parties. Yeah. Usually, you know, there's an open tab. Yeah, let's get drunk and talk over whatever yeah over everything um and so no it was good and uh i saw the movie knives out oh great well that's one of

the ones i'll see in two in a day yeah yeah yeah totally that's like a that it's destined to be part of a double did you ever uh anytime i hear that movie, I think of the Radiohead song. I don't know. It goes, That sounds like Radiohead. And then I feel like the next line is, The Pokemon. That was at the end of the Pokemon movie. was trying to win an oscar oh yeah they should

yeah yeah he's he's got the emmy and the grammy and the tony yeah he's for his work on murphy brown and the grammy was for his music and the tony was for when he played uh boy. Oh, so it wasn't for music he composed. He played a role. No, no. He was in a company. Oh. I can't think of any characters from plays.

You know, the salesman. Maria from a variety of musicals. Rum tum tugger from uh cat of course yeah um and rounding out the list of mount rushmore of theater characters annie um do we want to uh uh move on to some overheards sure all right friendly fire is a podcast about war movies but it's so much more than that it's history was just supposed to be another assignment

it's comedy under no circumstances are you to engage the enemy it's cinema studies it's a hell of a combination so subscribe subscribe and download Friendly Fire on your podcatcher of choice or at MaximumFun.org. And also come see us at San Francisco Sketch Fest on January 16th. You can get tickets at sfsketchfest.com

Mission accomplished. Hi, I'm Allie Gertz. And I'm Julia Prescott. And we host Round Springfield. Round Springfield is a new Simpsons podcast that is Simpsons adjacent. In its topic, we talk to Simpsons writers, directors, voiceover actors, you name it, about non-Simpsons things that they've done. Because, surprise, they're all extremely talented.

Absolutely. For example, David X. Cohen worked on The Simpsons but then created a little show called Futurama. That's our very first episode. So tune in for stuff like that with Yardley Smith, with Tim Long, with different writers and voice actors. It's going to be so much fun. And we are every other week on MaximumFun.org

or wherever you get your podcasts. Overheard. That's right. It's kind of like Cook Your Mom. It might be. It might be Knives Out, Cook Your Mom. Yeah. I think it's Pokemon.

Pokemon, yeah. I was watching Jeopardy the other night. There was a Pokemon category. They left it until it was left. They always leave the good categories until the end. I think it's because they want to savor them. But it is always like the fun pop culture category is the one that... Like, if that's... Those are the ones I would run.

Yeah, those are the gimme's. Yeah, this American history stuff, this like Bible stuff. Yeah, second biggest city in the state. Oh, boy. Oh, there was a woman that's been winning on it recently and she takes so long to pick the categories that there's always clues left on the board at the end. The worst. The worst.

Overheard's a segment wherein, uh, we hear things out there in the world, then we share them here, and then that's the deal. That's all it is. And we always like to start with the guest. Oh. Guest. Oh, I'm still picking up your bag at the airport. Um, so we'll go.

Dave, you have an overheard? Let's see. You know what? I'm going to give, I'm going to give just a three from my kids. Okay. To start off the year right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So two of them are, you know what?

Boy, there's a theme, but there's also a theme this way. All right. So Poppy was talking the other day. Poppy's, well, she'll be three at the time of this release, but she's, well, she's a three-year-old. Yeah. I guess to describe her, she's a three-year-old. She was talking about how she doesn't want

any more presents. Okay. Enough with the presents. Enough with the presents. I got birthday presents. Christmas is coming so soon. Why do I... I don't want any more presents.

And Margo's logic was, oh, okay. If you don't want presents, be bad. Like you're going to get them unless you... Unless you like... You alter your behavior yeah for don't earn them like you're for sure just accruing presence by being so good being good yeah but just start being bad that's good kid that's solid kid logic yeah so that was that was one and also like

it's tough it's tough when they're this age because i don't know how long they're going to believe in santa uh till they're 16 yeah uh so it's and it's some of the things from my youth don't really like i i don't know if i'll ever be able to teach my children what coal is until santa's gone yeah uh yeah like because the kids of the future will uh he'll leave some sort of renewable yeah yeah where santa will leave you a he'll wind yeah or you know some uh some used uh cooking oil that you can then yes strain for your biodiesel camper van camper van uh diesel with it nice that was vin diesel's line of shirt i believe it was kevin quinlan had a joke about that diesel with it comedian and politico kevin quinlan um the uh the next one uh margo was singing she she's at the age now

where she can sing the spoof songs oh so she's a big weird owl head she was doing jingle bells yeah batman smells classic robin laid an egg batman bill lost its wheel she doesn't know what batman drives oh yeah uh that was number two so that's uh like an alley mcbeal yeah batman lost its wheel. She doesn't know what Batman drives. Oh, yeah. That was number two. So that's like an Ally McBeal. Yeah, Batman Beal. Ryan Beal lost his wheel. And finally, Poppy singing the

Alphabet song. She believes the lyrics are A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J,K, and the number B. Pretty cute. That is pretty cute. Yeah. And I think in the end she says, now I know my ABCs, next time.

I think she just thinks it's now I know my ABCs, now I know my ABCs. Yeah. Fine. You know what? That rhyme at the end? Yeah. Unnecessary. It is unnecessary.

Because if it's either next time won't you play with me was that a game we were playing? You were just reciting the alphabet. Yeah, next time play with me while I do it. It's my thing. Yeah. Or next time sing along with me. Yeah, won't you sing with me?

Won't you play with me? Yeah, I guess so. Or tell me what you think of me. Tell me what you think with me. Yeah, won't you sing with me? Yeah. Won't you play with me? Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. Or tell me what you think of me. Tell me what you think of me. Don't invite that. Yeah, exactly. In this culture. If you can't take it,

do not ask people that question. What's your overheard? My overheard is something that was said to me at the Rumors Comedy Club. You're talking to me? Yes. You over there, you talking Joker stuff to me.

He was in both movies. Oh, Robert De Niro was. De Niro. I guess so. I was talking on stage about a restaurant that they have in Winnipeg that's just a macaroni and cheese restaurant. Yeah, I went there last time. Kevin's. Yeah, it's a dumb name because I want it to be called the Mac Shack or whatever.

And so I was talking about it on stage. And after the show, a guy came up to me and was like, oh, man, I can't wait to check out that all KD restaurant. All Kraft Dinner? Yeah. It's not just a restaurant that's just boxed Kraft Dinner. That's not a bad idea. No, that's fine. Like, if you had a bar

and the only food that you served was Kraft Dinner, some with hot dogs and some without, that would be a hit. Everybody would love it. I went to, I think I went to, I swung too far on my, when I went to Kevin's and I got the lobster one. Oh, I see. Lobster's not a big prairie meal. No, no, it's not the prairie treat.

No. I got the one that had old Dutch potato chips crunched up on top. That's not the prairie treat no um i got the one that had uh old dutch potato chips crunched up on top that's not a bad idea but the rest was just we just grabbed it the rest was just a standard issue mac and cheese i could go for the mac and cheese right about now hells yeah yeah. The funk soul brother. Now we also have overheards sent in from people all over the world. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. And this first one comes from Colin from El Segundo, California.

He said he left a voicemail of this, but writing this in his dupe. I left my voicemail in El Segundo, California. He said he left a voicemail of this, but writing this in his dupe. I left my voicemail in Segundo. El Segundo. I was at my neighborhood coffee shop on a Saturday morning and was ringing up my order with the cashier when the song I'll Be by Edwin McCain. Do you know this song? I'll be

your crying choro. There it is. Came on over the sound system. As I finished up and stepped up to the side to wait, my cashier turned to the rest of the staff and started trying to get their attention. Guys, guys, hey everyone, hey listen.

Hey, can you all listen for a sec? This place has a full kitchen, so there were like eight to ten people behind the counter working through the morning rush. The cashier finally gets their attention and says the guy that sings this song his dad used to be my mom's obgyn important everyone stop what you're doing uh this is that's as tangential as it gets yeah but. But if I had that connection, I'd say it every time I heard that song. I'm assuming that's the song I'm thinking of.

Gotta be. Yeah. Gotta be. I mean, how many Edmund McCain songs are there? I mean, probably an album's worth. Yeah, probably. They didn't just put out a single in 1998. There used to be bands that would just put out a single like in the 60s yeah yeah yeah

and there were bands that weren't even bands that were just like like the record companies putting out a single by whoever the archies yeah um yeah they probably had an album the archies probably but i just like there was a time when like you might not go beyond a single. Yeah. Albums were just, were a way of selling, getting you to buy more stuff. I think. Yeah. Before,

before certain artists elevated the medium. That's true. Uh, we're talking about. Uh-huh. Yeah. Uh-huh. Jim Morrison and rounding out that list.

The Archies. The Archies. Uh, this next one that comes from Abby from Minnesota. It was at a family therapist office. It has toys and a chalkboard wall for kids in the waiting room. Someone had written on the chalkboard wall, paninis. Think about that in your jacuzzi. Oh.

Yeah. Is that the lyric? Is that a lyric from? The song Panini? There's a song called Panini? Yeah, by, what's his name? Lil Nas X. Lil Nas X. That's right. I don't know if he rhymes it with jacuzzi. Probably not, because it doesn't rhyme with jacuzzi. He's a rapper. I'm not. As proven earlier, I cannot make a a rhyme Panini is already plural You don't have to say paninis

That's true Oh yeah Panini I have enough panini for everyone? Yeah I bought A 24 pack of panini To feed everyone Yeah It's been a while since I had a panini To feed everyone.

Yeah. It's been a while since I had a panini. Remember when paninis were like, just like, just rocketed onto the sea? Yeah. I mean, what's, it's just a pressed sandwich. Yeah. Yeah. But like, there was a time when that was pretty effing exciting.

Yeah. You you know, like, you know what? I guess I'm just hungry. Cause I was gonna, I was craving Kraft dinner, macaroni, and now I'm craving panini.

Uh, this last one, I want you to get something to eat. That's a hurry. This right along. Oh, sure. Thank you.

This is a, from Jen from Burlington. Uh, this is a family at a table at an ice cream parlor. I don't want ice cream. I know. I'm sorry. I don't want to eat a family at a table.

This is a daughter. There's a son eating his ice cream and a daughter who's having like many meltdowns. And the parents are taking her. Doesn't help at an ice cream restaurant. You don't want meltdowns. No no no absolutely there's a sign on the wall. So the daughter's being taken outside again and again the entire time through both meltdowns the younger brother has just quietly had his head down eating his ice cream

the mom brings the daughter back inside and the dad completely exasperated at this point firmly says well we are never coming for ice cream again the young brother looks up from his ice cream bowl at his dad and quietly says but i love ice cream yeah just because your sister's acting up oh boy there are the that is the emptiest threat there is we're never going for ice cream again yeah yeah i sometimes have to do that like have to make these kinds of like okay okay if you don't like it's mostly like things i've learned enough to be like okay we're just we're turning that off now right if you don't do this it's not ever like we're never we're not doing christmas again next year yeah. We're converting to a different religion. Well, you don't, then no more birthdays.

Yeah. We're blotting out the sun. Oh man. In addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is an easy one to remember. 1-844-779-7631. Make this decade the decade that you memorize it. Hello, Dave, Graham, possible guests. This is Amy calling from Texas. I was shopping in Target tonight and the guy in front of me in line was buying some groceries and a Red Bull.

was buying some groceries and a Red Bull. And the girl that was checking him out was very over it. She was ready to go home. She was making it very obvious that she was not interested in conversation. But the guy said to her, Red Bull, am I right? And she just continued to check out his groceries. So he turned to me and said, you know, Christmas. And I couldn't think of anything to say, so he turned back to her and said, you know, Red Bull.

And she said, have a good night, and handed him his receipt, and he left. So then I, it was my turn to check out, and the girl was checking out my things. She was rolling her eyes, and she said, that guy guy he comes in once a week and gets stuff to make shrimp kebabs I guess that's offensive to her yeah well I mean if he's there every week and he wants to do this Red Bull combo

that's only at Christmas yeah that's true well Red Bull you know yeah Christmas you know Shrimp kebabs eh Where do you keep the skewers For the shrimp kebabs You know where they are What else is on a shrimp kebab

Small tomato Little triangle of pepper I don't know Boy they cook at very different rates yeah just shrimp just a bunch of shrimp is what i would do okay all right um shrimp it's a whole world i don't know well maybe this decade yeah yeah yeah maybe this will be my shrimp decade yeah yeah watch out red lobster okay it's all you can eat and Graham is singing for

his supper only lobster tunes under the seat he's got us there next phone call hi Dave Graham and probable guess this is Colin from El Segundo with an overheard.

I was at my neighborhood coffee shop on a Saturday morning and was getting run up on my order. Don't send the same overheard in. Don't do it. Why would you do this? We don't have a producer who chooses. Guys, guys. Hey, everyone to get their attention. Guys. Guys. Hey, everyone. Hey. Listen.

Hey, can you all listen for a sec? Now, this place has like a full kitchen in the back, so there are like eight to ten people behind the counter trying to meet the morning rush. And she finally gets her attention and says, the guy who sings this song,

his dad was my mother's OBGYN. I don't know. That really just blew my hair back. Thanks guys. Love the show. It blew my hair forward. Guy, hey, Colin from El Segundo, don't do that. Because Graham and I don't

these are secret things that we each pick our category. We don't talk these are secret things that we, we each pick our category. We don't talk to each other. And then we end up, I'm surprised anyone, I mean, I guess I'm not surprised that you're the first to do it because it's dumb. Don't do it.

Pick one way or the other. Terrible way to start the decade. Yeah. Now, now Dave doesn't even want that panini anymore. Lost my panapatite. Hello, Dave Graham and three children in a trench coat. Yep.

This is Scott from Madison calling in with an overheard. I was just brushing the snow off my car this cold morning, and then one of the neighbor kids was loading all his stuff into the car, getting ready to go to school with his younger brother and his family. And this kid was very excited. As he was loading everything up, he was chanting, Nine more days till Christmas, and I get what I am owed. All right.

Thanks. Bye-bye. Yeah. Because you were good. Mm-hmm. You weren't, you know what? If you're good, you automatically get presents. Yeah, that kid.

The other Christmas spoof song, Jingle Bells, Batman, Smell the Robin Light, and Egg. Joy to the World, something about the teacher dying or something. Oh, oh yeah. Oh, I feel like Nelson from the Simpsons thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The one I remember is a deck. The halls with Santa's balls. Oh, this is, I didn't, uh, this is news to me. Oh,

well it's, it's climbing the charts in January. Um, yeah, I was, uh, was Yeah, was that all of them? I think that was all of them. Oh, no. We Three Kings from Orientar. I tried to light a rubber cigar.

It was loaded and exploded. Yeah. And I don't know. I don't know how that wraps up. But there was something about. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know.

I think maybe that song. i don't think i've heard that's like one that has not really made it no three kings i don't hear it every year no uh because it's bad it's one of it's one of the bad where it's like slow and and you have to yeah it's good it's very good it is good yeah that's true and it reminds me of the movie three kings uh yeah that's right uh so ice cube spike jones and marky mark and george clooney oh wow i feel like spike jones was the fourth king yeah he died yes he does um spoiler if you were if you were waiting to watch it today in 2020 yeah it's as it's reaching its 20th anniversary no probably 23rd or something yeah happy 23rd anniversary to the so we sprawled planet of the apes yeah three kings yeah did we

i don't actually know if we sprawled the ending of three kings maybe he dies two-thirds of the Apes. Yeah. Three Kings. Yeah. Did we, I don't actually know if we spelled the ending of Three Kings. Maybe he dies two thirds of the way through. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The ending will surprise you. Mm-hmm. He comes back to life. He picks and chooses his acting roles, doesn't he?

Yeah. Yeah. He plays Brad Pitt's daughter's stepdad in Moneyball. Oh, really? Yep. Oh, wow. Yeah. He plays the lead dancer in the in Moneyball. Oh, really? Yep. Oh, wow. Yeah. He plays the lead dancer in the Praise You video.

Oh, yeah. And I think that brings us, maybe he was the guy in the dog costume in the Daft Punk video. No, that was Tony Maxwell. Who's Tony Maxwell? Tony Maxwell was the drummer for a band called That Dog. Okay. In the 90s. And he was also a well i think they're

reunited and he also uh was um he played he did a bunch of spike jones things he was in the weezer video for uh buddy holly oh yeah and he was nicholas cage's like twin double in adaptation oh okay huh he's just like he's a good body actor. Uh, and he's, I think he's a friend of Spike Jonze's. That's, it's good to, uh, if you, if you can keep your pals employed Adam Sandler style. Oh, I think he may be even, cause this is the one Wikipedia page I updated is Tony Maxwell's. I think he may be all, you updated. Yeah. Yeah. I somehow knew all this information. I think he also maybe choreographed

the like puppet dance in being John Malkovich. Oh, wow. That's Tony Maxwell's a real he's a real force. Watch me.

I got I got his name wrong. Jeff Jones. Well, that I guess brings us to the end of this year episode okay how what fun oh what fun yeah uh 2020 the year sprawls out in front of us yeah i um we're pre-taping this but i hope hugh downs and barbara walters made it to 2020 yeah so that they can do their rockin' New Year's Eve. Hugh Downs, he went, he left the show to pursue opportunities on the internet.

That's right. And 20 years later, he invented Uber. So, congratulations, Hugh Downs. Well, thanks everybody for listening to the show. And no thanks to the airline that made our guests vanish. Yeah. And no thanks to the caller and writer who sent the same overheard in twice. I am furious. Cause I'm going to lose that every time Graham goes first.

Yeah, that's true. Uh, don't do it folks. Don't do it. I feel like it's going to be a big thing now. It's going to be the defining thing of 2020. Thanks, everybody, for listening.

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