Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 619 - Randee Neumeyer

Episode Date: January 27, 2020

Comedian Randee Neumeyer joins us to talk spin class, snow days, and thrift shop fights.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 619 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who couldn't be cozier on this, the snowiest of snow days, Mr. Dave Shovka. Yeah, so I woke up this morning, checked, my first thing I did, I don't go to school. But you wanted to make sure your alma mater was closed? Yeah. First thing I did, I checked the, I looked outside.

Okay. First thing I did, got off the floor. Kids had a rough night last night. Okay. Then I went and looked out the window and it was snowing. It had snowed so much and it was still snowing. And I checked the school board twitter and they had announced schools closed all over the city all the every school yeah wow and then i was like everybody's sleeping please children sleep till noon be like a teenager yeah till noon um yeah man snow day and there were people there were people

replying to the tweet from the school board because the school board says we'll let you know by seven in the morning yeah and they'd let us know by six and people were still tweeting like you could have you could have let us know last night it would have alleviated a lot of stress yeah well they didn't they didn't know it was going to snow so much yeah and uh and you know what spoils the surprise yeah it's so it's the best feeling yeah when you're a kid and you wake up you don't have to go to school even if it's just for one day yeah feels like even and my kids are like margo's the only one who goes to school she's in kindergarten and she loves kindergarten and it's not stressful for her. She likes going every day and seeing her friends and playing.

She was so excited not to have to go. Oh, man. Like as a teenager? Oh, as a 10-year-old? As a 10-year-old teenager? Oh, boy. My body's changing so fast and backwards. Our guest today, first- guest on the podcast, she has an album coming out in May called I'm Thriving.

A very funny comedian, Randy Neumeier. Hello. Hello. I wasn't sure if I was allowed to talk or not yet. You are. You are. Okay, okay. But we can't go back and change that.

What would you have said? I would have said Snow Day is a really good movie. Oh, who's in that? Is that Jonathan Taylor Thomas? No. No, that's Man of the House with Chevy Chase. Sure. Chevy Chase and?

A bunch of nobodies. Oh, really? Okay. I'm looking up this movie. Because when you said Snow Day, I immediately thought of whatever the... Cuba Gooding Jr.? Cuba Gooding Jr. Was that Eight Below?

Or was that Snow Dogs? Snow Dogs is what I'm thinking. What's Eight Below? I don't know. And then he was also in a movie about being on a gay boat. Yeah, that was called Boat Trip. Cuba Gooding Jr. has had a story boat. Yeah, that was called Boat Trip. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Humongous Junior has had a story about... Yeah, lately.

Me too. What's going on for him lately? So I guess he grabbed... He said... Who are we talking about now? Humongous Junior. Oh, okay. He's been Me Too'd.

Oh, he's been Me Too'd? Yeah, yeah. Okay, all right. I can't remember the exact word. He Me Too'd himself Oh, he's been Me Too'd. Yeah, yeah. Okay. All right. I can't remember the exact word. He Me Too'd himself. I don't think you... Let's not call him the victim.

That's true. Snow Day stars Chevy Chase. Yeah. Some people I haven't heard of. Chris Elliott. Who? Oh, yeah. Jean Smart from Designing Women.

Pam Greer. Iggy Pop. Iggy Pop. Iggy Pop? John Schneider from Dukes of Hazzard. Wow. What a cast. Yeah, it's a good cast. It is a good cast.

5.1 on IMDb. Filmed in Edmonton, Alberta. Oh. Ah, there you go. Now, you're originally from... Do we want to get to know us? Yes. Get to know us.

You're originally from north of Edmonton. Yeah. How often would you get snow days? Or was that just not a thing? No, we got snow days, but it had to be like very cold. Like probably minus 35. Like Siberian. Yeah, exactly.

Like your car can't start kind of thing. Yeah. And what was your go-to snow day activity? Mine was watching videos. Yeah, watching movies. Like videotapes? No, like much music. Much music?

Oh, okay. I like i like oh this is what they do during the weekdays yeah yeah that is cool it is a like daytime tv was i feel like now uh my children don't even know what they don't watch the view they don't even know what like cable tv is because they have you know we've got a hundred Peppa Pigs on our PVR. Yeah. And Netflix and Disney Plus and stuff. That's true. Yeah.

It was Slim Pickens when you were, because I feel like when I was a kid, there was like a block of cartoons in the very early morning. On a weekday. On a weekday. It starts at like 7 a.m. Yeah. I don't get it. It starts at 7 a.m.

You find it tough to wake up early and watch those cartoons now? When I was a kid, yeah. That was your job as a kid. Yeah, basically. Parents would be like, well, we need a recap of what happened on Zoobly Zoo or whatever. Yeah, they weren't the primo cartoons either. No, Zoobly Zoo wasn't even a cartoon. It was people in costume.

It was kind of probably like a lot of people's entree into the furry lifestyle. Oh, stop it. I remember it was, what's that French guy with the dog? Caillou? No, this is older. Oh, Tintin? Tintin. Yeah.intin? Tintin. Yeah.

I always missed Tintin. My brother would rub it in my face. Oh, man. Like he'd wake up early and be like, oh, man, you missed the greatest thing on Tintin. You'll never guess what Tintin did to them. Guess who Tintin oppressed. Yeah, it was Tintin. He's been cancelled

For sure Cause there's all sorts of Oh Racism Yeah Colonial Williamsburging So Randy

Let's get to know you This is your first time here on the podcast Yeah What makes you tick? Everyone wants to know you. This is your first time here on the podcast. What makes you tick? Everyone wants to know. How long have you lived in Vancouver for? Probably, it'll be like 10 years this year. How are you going to celebrate your 10th anniversary?

By not spending money. Sweet. And you, have you been doing stand-up the whole time no i started in 2016 because my friend who i went to film school with took a course and then he made me take a course and it sounds a little like scientology yeah but there's no money in this. I mean, the people, when you were doing the course, did you have to hold two tin cans with a wire between them? So your friend took a stand-up course?

Yeah, actually from Kyle Bottom. Oh, really? Yeah, it was at Instant Theater. It didn't actually teach me how to write anything. It just got me on stage. Okay. But was your friend just like, oh, you're funny, you should do stand-up? Yeah.

Huh. Yeah, I never had that. I've heard that narrative before. Yeah. Like Drew Carey, I guess was the all his buddies like were like get up on stage you're like people must have said it to you like even like not knowing how stand-up works like when you're a kid assumed as a kid i was like i'm gonna do that that's that's what i'm gonna do okay yeah you suckers can all work at the zoobly zoo and whatnot i am uh like

you should do stand-up it's just like a throwaway line people say to other people yeah yeah yeah yeah but like it just seems like a hard thing like it's not like uh you should see this movie or something like it's like you should commit yourself to a life of poverty. Though, like, people say that to a lot of people. There's a lot of people who start stand-up and they're like,

my friends told me I should start. And then we're like, no, get out. Yeah. Your friends don't know. And we were talking the other day,

you recently quit your day job i quit my day job in august well actually july because i had a vacation planned and then i was like well i'm gonna quit in august so then i have to pay back my vacation days so i guess I'll quit in July though. Um, today I actually found out I sold my first, um, uh, writing like per published.

Oh, nice. I haven't written yet. I just sold my pitch. Oh, great. Congratulations. May we ask where'd you sell it?

Uh, vice. Vice. Nice. Um, nice. And is it like a true story, I did something crazy? It's about camel toes. Somebody has to write this piece. The time is now.

He's high-waisted pants. Yeah. Yeah. Was that the pitch? No. Camel Tuts. No, the pitch was more... A history of Camel Tuts.

But, yeah, I'm excited about that. That's great. Yeah. Yeah, so now you can put that on your Twitter bio. Oh, yeah. Yeah, all those people who got Vice on their Twitter bio. I mean, I guess. Their Twitter bio.

But that'll be cool to like, uh, to be able to, cause then it'll exist online on the vice page. Yeah. That's like, my plan is to slowly become a freelance writer, but, um. How slowly? Um, very slowly. Yeah. I quit my job in July.

It's January now. Yes. But you were telling me that you love, you love being unemployed. Oh, yeah. It's great. Yeah. Though I like, I keep going over my gigs, you know? I didn't know that was possible.

Your home gigs? What do you mean? Your internet. Oh, your gig. Oh, you're going over was possible. Your home gigs? What do you mean? Your internet. Oh, your gig about your gigs. Oh, you're going over. My home internet gig about your gigs. I imagined you looking at a parchment filled with your comedy gigs. Yeah, that's what I thought.

I was like, why do you have to keep going over? Yes, what did I? I committed to this. Should I have? All right. I need seven minutes for Tuesday. Okay. What's your major internet?

Are you streaming video? Sometimes I'll watch an entire TV show in one day. Oh, I love Succession. Sometimes I just watch that to go to sleep it's the best show okay i haven't oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i've seen it um i do it to stay awake i watch it stay awake does that uh does that take up a lot i guess it does i guess it takes up a lot of gigs but like you'd think you'd be able to stream 24 hours a day yeah yeah i would think at this point streaming would be like a low you're not doing it just on your phone walking around are

you no my phone's separate it's uh i have unlimited data on my phone well you should just start watching yeah on there that's true there you go see we're uh dave and i're kind of like um we're problem solvers yeah i was going over my gigs today and it turns out I'm a problem solver. Today I decided to slowly transition into being a problem solver over 39 years. Have you guys been watching that show, You? No. Okay. Is that, is that how it's like?

It's like a spooky stalking show? Yeah. It's about a stalker, but you side with him. You're like, I always do in those. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Fear. I love the guy. Is it Penn Badgley? Yeah. Yeah. Is it, how many seasons so far?

Two. Two a year. Who is Penn Badgley? Penn Badgley was on Gossip Girl. He was Jason Priestley. And so this story is told from the stalker's point of view? Yeah. So he'll go watch her, and then it'll be in his brain. Well, we can hear him.

Yeah. But he's saying things like, oh, she's looking at this book. That means she's this. And all these things like that. He like watches her and he decides all these things about these women. That's very funny. But also. Is it funny?

Yeah. But he does a lot of bad stuff. I'm a bad guy. D'oy. Billie Eilish. Yeah. She did the new James Bond song. Really?

Yeah. Is that for real? I think so. I think that's what I heard today. I heard a rumor that it was going to be Beyonce. Oh, I heard that rumor actually. Yeah, I'm mostly on Beyonce message boards and whatnot. That's how I spend my unemployment time.

I turned on the news today just to show the girls. Snow day. And there was the scrolling thing at the bottom of entertainment news and it just said nude like someone blank records i had just missed who recorded the new james bonica so you had to wait for it to go back no i just googled it it's like anytime i'm i only listen to the radio in the car and in the shower and if they're ever like after the break we'll tell you you know what so-and-so did this weekend like what celebrity like these teasers that they tell you who's canceled yeah after this wild weekend the teasers that they do to get you to keep

listening after the commercial break i i just googled them yeah oh yeah it's interesting oh yeah i can't believe you listen to the radio. Yeah, I'm an old man. You know what? Radio's free. You won't go over your gig. Yeah, exactly. That's true.

This could be a way of cutting down on your gig usage. Yeah. Just an hour of radio every day and, you know, watch the rest in your phone. There we go. I like to hear... I mean, I'm not that old. My whole family sits around the radio and we listen to... While you shower.

Yeah, while I shower. It's a plug-in radio and I've electrocuted myself many times listening to, you know, whatever, The Shadow. Listening to my mysteries um yeah i mean i definitely grew up listening to the radio i don't know the lot i guess i listen to the radio whenever i'm at my parents house because it's it's cbc's constantly on but um did you grow up listening to the radio?

Yeah. What was your station of choice? We had like one. We had country and then we had regular. And it was called Kix 106. Kix 106. Point one. What's on regular?

So country's country. What's regular? Everything else. Actually, probably not even rap. Like, I just remember, like, they would play Aerosmith a lot. And, you know, Closing Time. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's, yeah, that all checks out. Yeah. I think, yeah, we had an all Closing Time station as well. Yeah, we had an all-closing time station as well. You never know when things are closing. Yeah, well, I know you don't because it's constantly playing. So they just play it every hour on the hour? Yeah, someone's closing.

It's got to be closing time somewhere. Did you ever call in a request to the radio when you were a kid? Oh, I did. We used to call in to get free gym passes, and we would do it sexily. Okay, what gym passes are they giving away? Like to the YMCA? Yeah, to like the rec center. But we would call and do like our

sexiest voices. We were like 14. We would call and be like, hi. And the guy running the contest is like, this here? This is why i run this contest yeah how many people lived in your town i think it's like six thousand okay so it's very possible he knew you uh-huh okay randy uh you've got uh passes to the wave pool. Did they have a wave pool?

No. Okay. What do you know about my wave pool? Kink. I read it on Vice. Yeah. Are you really a wave pool head? I literally have a joke about being in a wave pool and being like,

drown me, daddy. When was the last time you were in a wave pool? This summer when I visited my parents. We went to West Edmonton Mall. Oh, nice. And you love wave pools? I do. Except for the children. They hold nothing back and they will hit you. Yeah. And you love wave pools? I do. Yeah? Except for the children. Yeah.

They hold nothing back and they will hit you. Yeah. I don't think I, I think I maybe went to one when I was a kid. They weren't everywhere. Pretty soon you'll be coming up on your kid's wave pool age. And then I think in 2013, my whole family went down to America and we went to Great Wolf Lodge. Oh, yeah. And I went in the wave pool there and it was disgusting. What was disgusting?

The whole, all of Great Wolf Lodge. I don't know if you know what it is. It's indoor water slides. But it is, it's like this enormous airplane hangar of just like you're in a regular hotel not a regular hotel a very family oriented hotel but then and it smells kind of chloriney but then you walk into the pool area and it is you just get hit in the face with diaper humidity like everyone's in a diaper that's why i turned on the

radio first thing what's the diaper humidity today snow day do the kids go in the pool in their diapers yeah oh no diapers they specifically make swim diapers and i like i i go swimming with my kids and we go in the kid pool and i think like I've gone through a few swimsuits since my kids have been born just because they've been getting bleached really quickly because I think they put more chlorine in the kid pool. Yeah. That's all tracks. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, wave pools are like for some reason in my head, I think they're cleaner because of the movement, but that's not new water coming in.

No. And all the bacteria gets swirled around. Yeah. I have been hit with a band. It's kind of like its own Pacific garbage patch. Did you have, uh, at this wave pool in Edmonton, did they have rope swings where people could swing into the middle of the wave pool? Because they had that in Calgary.

And I felt, even as a kid, I was like, this is dangerous. Yeah, you can't control where you're landing. No. No, they have an actual bungee jump thing where you can pay to bungee jump down. Into the wave pool? Yeah. And you just sort of hit the surface like slightly yeesh yeah no thanks sounds kind of fun just get your hair gross like i do like uh i i never do them but like that thrill of that just like that sensation of falling is like that Sensation of falling Is like the only thrill

I can do I can't spin around I die Like I Would you go skydiving? No You? Never

No No way Jose Is there any of that Any of that adrenaline Kind of stuff Appeal to you? When I was younger But now

That like Now that I I'm so aware of my My imminent death. How imminent is it? Anytime now. I'm slowly rotting. As long as you're slowly rotting, you're all right.

Yeah, slowly rotting. We're all slowly rotting. I used to go down the slide so easily and go on roller coasters. No problem. Now it's like my heart beats out of my chest. I get a headache. Do you think you might be in love? Yeah.

You're describing a lot of the symptoms I hear in songs. I get butterflies in my stomach. Yeah. I mean, would I go on a roller coaster? I guess if I was cajoled. Yeah. I wouldn't go on my own volition. But if somebody else was like, hey, we're all going on a roller coaster.

Yeah. I would go along. But. No, I like roller coasters. I like, yeah, this going forward, falling down. These are the sensations I can handle. It's the spinning. It's the.

Right. The really just the spinning i can't do yeah spinning's gross yeah so you don't like like a saucer or a zipper no ride yeah oh one of those upside downy or a gravitron or whatever oh yeah oh yeah centrifugal force things oh or the ones that like flip you up and over. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's when you're a kid.

You just want to feel something. You haven't had drugs yet. This is the closest you get. It's like when I was a kid. I'd sit upside down on the couch just to get a head rush. Yeah. Yeah, because you're like, what else? How do I feel this?

My dad had a bad back, and they gave him, I don't know, actually, was it my dad or my mom? Someone had a bad back, and they came home with this thing where you swing yourself upside down on it, and you hang upside down for a while. Oh, yeah. Looks like a seesaw kind of thing then no it's got like a pad it looks like a seat that's just too high and you don't put you don't sit on you put

your stomach on it and that like and you put your legs around something else and you just flip upside down huh and hang there for however long you need to and my six to eight hours my mom was like uh you could do it but come close the close the curtains in the room because i don't want people to think we have a sex contraption now i might be remembering this wrong yeah the real thing was there was a sex contraption that had the a weird feature where it fixed your back. Yeah, the nice side

effect of this sex contraption makes your back feel amazing. I feel like if you were a kid and you happened upon a sex contraption, you would think it was a toy and it would be so much like a like a swing or something yeah yeah that's true yeah yeah like it would uh a kid wouldn't think twice like this is just gonna be so much actually i think i'm there was a like a

sex swing joke in the trailer of that good boys movie yeah i saw I saw that. It was good. It was good? Yeah, it was. That was shot here, I think. Yeah. Nice. All right. Snow Day shot in Alberta. Good Boys here. Good Boys here.

Great. Well, let's take a sip of our drinks. Yeah, sorry. Graham, we're relying on you. So you're working towards becoming a freelance writer, which is very exciting. And you recorded your comedy album like a month ago, a couple months ago? November 29th. Have you listened to it?

Yes. It sounds good? I've listened to it so many times, though, to edit it that i at first i was like it's great yeah now i'm like never i don't want to hear it again yeah is it almost done with the editing yeah i just have to um pick my track titles which is like all my jokes are really short so i had to smush things together the kind where like they have slashes in between them yes so now i have to pick like titles that they all kind of go together which is is that something that you have to do because i know everybody like puts them on

streaming things yeah if you want it to stream they someone said that they won't look at look at your album if your tracks are less than three minutes. Oh, okay. Yeah. So you have to combine jokes together. But could you just call it track one, track two, track three, track four? Or does it need to have a silly name? I kind of want it to have a silly name.

Just come up with names that are just... Just dumb? Yeah. Yeah, I don't think anyone pays attention to them yeah at all the first four tracks should be donatello leonardo i rafael when i splinter and splinter sure i never did an album but they would record they would have like xm radio sessions at the comedy festival yes and i never heard the outcome but i would like in my Google searches or my Google alerts, it would come up that I was played on XM radio and the track would be like old people. I don't know how much, how long that track was. And I was I was working at a comedy club a couple weekends ago.

And in the green room, everybody signed the wall. And your name, very large, has for a cat sitter. And then your actual phone number? Yeah. And has anybody taken you up on this? No, actually. Huh. It's so rude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you a cat person? Yeah, I long-term cat sit. Like how long-term? I've had four. So I've had one for eight months, two for a year each. And then I recently had one for five months. And the cat lives with you?

Yeah. Okay. It's a way to have a cat without having to pay any vet bills. Right. Nice. Hmm. It's a way to have a cat without having to pay any vet bills. Right. Nice. Mm-hmm. Huh. And like, how does it, do they pay you to do this?

Or do they, or you, the payment is just that you get to have a cat? Sometimes they pay me. Like recently I got a hundo. Nice. Do they, do they pay for the food? Are you, are you in charge of, are you out of pocket on this? No, they pay, they pay for the food? Are you in charge of, are you out of pocket on this? No, they pay for the food. And, oh, this one cat I had wouldn't clean its butt.

Its butt, disgusting. So I had to bring it to a groomer to shave all the poop off its butt. Oh, okay. They paid for that. You would hope so. It was terrible. Yeah, it's on and beyond. Yeah. It was terrible. Yeah. It's on and beyond.

Yeah. What's with these cats? You know? I know. Hey, ever heard of wiping? Come on, cats. It's like, I'll wipe it for you. Just let me.

I will not. This is where you part ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is where you part ways. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The, how do, like, do you put an ad out for this? Or is this just like, hey, I heard you taking cats for some time? It was always a friend of a friend.

Okay. Someone was just like, oh, Randy lives alone and likes cats. And my apartment building allows animals so nice um always cats over dogs i will never have a dog never no they they're stinky what about this one i heard about This one cat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. This cat ruined some pillows. Did you grow up with, like, around animals? Yeah, cats. Cats. But you just, like, you've really gamed the system here. It's how to have a pet without any expenditures. Pretty good.

Except when you say goodbye and you're, like're devastated and the cat has no feelings for you no the cats usually leave screaming oh that's gratifying at least they're like no red they muster up their one phrase in English that they know. Robbie. Robbie. Robbie. Robbie. Do you hear what it's saying?

Robbie. Robbie. No. I want my mom. I want to see your mom. This cat's very advanced. Have you seen Cats? The musical? No, no, I haven't.

Oh, you must. We talked about it on the show last week. Someone who did, or a couple weeks ago now uh someone who who did uh special effects on the movie tweeted us oh really and said yeah we just didn't have any time it was every like the the release date was the this oh really and production wrapped super late and anytime a movie has really bad special effects it's because the um it's because the everything else they were you know they were just struggling to meet deadlines yeah that uh you know the whole like brouhaha with the sonic that studio that fixed it all

then went out of business like they fixed it all and then they were like, we literally, that destroyed our company. Yeah. Was fixing the sonic effects for a movie that, for sure, nobody's going to go see. Like, I don't know who's clamoring

for a sonic movie. Though, there's people on the internet who draw. Okay. Okay. We know what's drawn. Oh, you guys know, right?

Yeah, but. Sexy sonic stuff. Yeah, sexy sonic stuff. But like. Pregnant stuff. Pregnant Sonic. Pregnant Sonic. Pregnant sexy Sonic. What's Sonic's friend's name? Tails. Tails? Yeah. There's many in the universe.

Oh, okay. So it's your typical cartoon or is it more unsettling? It's, um... Your typical, you know, fan fiction, like, drawings. Is it more unsettling? It's, um... Because all those cartoon things are pretty... You know, fan fiction, like, drawings. Like, you just go on Tumblr, search Sonic.

You'll get some good stuff. Some of this art is deviant art. I mean, have you seen some of this stuff? It's deviant art. The, uh... But, like, I've stumbled across, you know, they mix universes. It'll be somebody from The Simpsons and somebody from Family Guy. Oh, yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Sonic is a Hooters girl. That's canon, though. That was a thing you could do in the game. You could work as a Hooters waitress for a while Occasionally if you drop wings All your coins fly up

Were you a video game player growing up? No, I was a watcher Just sitting there in the corner watching? Yeah, watching my brother play. Wow. I was always really bad. So I used to always play GoldenEye with him. And I was one of those people who was like, I don't need weapons.

One of those people. Okay, but I would karate chop constantly yeah and then I would always get most honorable well that is the way to do it

yeah yeah you did that personal touch of a karate chop so you would like even if there was a gun to pick it up

you'd be like no I wouldn't know how to pick that up. I would always be a character who would send a condolence card after I killed someone. Your brother's going around shooting people and you're chasing a doctor knows cat. Yeah. Let me wipe you. Most honorable. This karate chop is kind of like a wipe um yeah that's it's not a surprise

that like we evolved into a culture where people watch video games like just other people yeah because that that very much was already a younger sibling thing to do and like yeah the jilted ex-wife the current girlfriends right now yeah yeah how come there's no game that just appeals to uh couples is there oh like why why isn't there a game that uh is designed like we'll get feedback from both sides we'll see we'll see what uh what each is looking for in a game and then we'll make that game. And then it's a game marketed as the game for couples.

Do you think like a Grand Theft Auto type game? Possibly? I mean, that's a one person thing. Although I guess you can do it online. With multiple people, but then you'll go over your gigs. Oh boy. Yeah. online yeah multiple people but then you'll go over your gigs oh boy yeah yeah i mean i'm trying to think of what it would be would it be like a game show type of game

or would it be like the newlywed game video game in the butt choose in the butt um yeah like i feel like my video game days were when i was a kid and then that i know a lot of adults that still play them but i don't understand how you find the time yeah no i i'm 100 that's because um all the people i know who are really into video games don't watch tv or movies a lot so they're just like but then like how do you talk about stuff like you talk about the game that you played yeah and then you're just talking about your experience with it and not the thing that actually happened that we can all agree on. Yeah, and I for sure heard guys on the bus or waiting in line somewhere talking about a video game they played and how good they are at it. And I'm like, this is not a conversation.

This is a monologue you're doing for an unwitting friend of yours. So I've started playing hockey, like actual hockey after years of playing video game hockey yeah you finally worked your way up but then i um and i hurt my hand and my wrist and i i like i would do exercises i would ice it and it just wasn't getting better and then a couple weeks ago i sat down and played video games unrelated and hadn't played video games in a year and my hand felt so much better it was like I had done the right exercises

to rehab my hand and afterwards I was like I felt like a 13 year old kid who was like see mom it's cool like I should be playing more games mom like it fixed me it's healthy mom mom yeah Like it fixed me. It's healthy. Mom!

Mom! Yeah, I feel like there was like every once in a while an article would come out and be like, turns out video games are good for hand-eye coordination. Mom! I need that! I need hand-eye coordination. How much rehab do you do a day? I just did the one like like, two-hour session.

But it might go back. Yeah. Might go back to the old Dr. Xbox. Do you play any sports, Randy? Oh, no. You ride horses? I am an avid spin class person. How avid? What are we, a couple times a week? Three times a week. Okay. That's pretty avid spin class person. Oh. How avid? What are we, a couple times a week?

Three times a week. Okay. That's pretty avid. Mm-hmm. What, I've never been, I only know from the Peloton commercials. Oh, yes. I want one. That would put you over your gig so fast.

Oh, yeah. For sure. I fall asleep doing Peloton every night. Have you done spin class? No. I don't even know how to ride a bike. They have training. What?

He grew up playing video games. He didn't have time to ride a bike. Take us through. What happens in spin class? How long is it? So it's 45 minutes. Okay. So you come in, you check in, you get your shoes that have the hook in things.

Oh. You hook on your pedals. Oh, so you're not even wearing just sneakers. And you don't even bring your own. Does anyone bring their own? The hardcore ones do. Because those shoes are gross. Nasty, yeah.

Yeah. It's like bowling shoes that you sweat so much in. Yeah, exactly. Imagine wearing bowling shoes if people got to work out bowling. It's kind of gross

because I always change my socks after but I see no one else do that and I'm like, ugh. See, already I didn't know that there was a shoe component to it yeah so you have to get

you get clip on shoes yeah and then um i i stretch before uh no no one else does that i don't know what's happening but um and then um you you go in it's like a dark kind of room. The music's very loud. And then. Closing time. One last call for alcohol. So try it. We've got a request from some sexy teens. Get one free pass to spin class. So why? Do you know why it's dark why is it dark um i i don't i think it's to like

create an ambience uh they like candles too there sometimes they use led lights really when like the most people don't use them but there's this this one guy, if we're doing really fast songs, he'll put on flashing lights. Like strobes? Yeah. Wow. So, yeah, the seizure inducing. Yeah, exactly. Okay, wow.

So, is this up to the instructor whether there's going to be candles or strobes? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So, are there people that you go like oh doug is there today doug sounds like a yeah yeah a good name for uh spin class instructor i do have favorite instructors who's your favorite probably

right now kate oh kate yeah kate yeah what is what do you like about kate that you don't like about the others uh kate um just has like a good routine she doesn't say a lot of uh bullshit and um she says a lot she goes welcome to my ted talk she says that that's fun that's fun so she knows she she's in on that yes she knows what kind of stuff uh in the what's the bullshit yeah the bullshit yeah she doesn't do a lot of bullshit who what the ones who do a lot of bullshit what is that bullshit um i actually stopped going to no one's listening um there one's listening. Some of them will be like, cheers your neighbor. And then they make you clink your

water bottles together with someone you don't know. I do hate that. I hate it so much. But there is one thing. Piece of spin class be with you. Now trade shoes with somebody. They also like, I actually don't mind this one where they make you helicopter your towel in the air after you're done.

Like, bleh. That's good. That is fun. It does sound like a lot of fun, actually. Yeah. I didn't realize it was a helicopter. I thought it was a lasso. So I was like.

Yeehaw. Yeah, yeehaw. Yeah, yeehaw. So then, does the darkness hide your lack of ability if you have a lack of ability? Is it that dark or is it just kind of dark? It's good for people who are in like the middle back row. I'm like a front row person now. Oh. Yeah, but I like the front row because you can see yourself in the mirror and you can see everything you're doing. Whenever we talk about like exercise, you're very worried about doing it because you don't want people to see you.

That's right. Yeah. Oh, this is perfect. Yeah. It's very dark. I find the process of exercise, even if you're very good at it, is humiliating. Oh, yeah. Like when you see somebody running down the street, you're like, this is so embarrassing.

This is unbelievable. I am so embarrassed for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I mean, what you're doing is great and right. Yeah. Like you're in the right. I understand. And right.

Yeah. Like, you're in the right. I understand. But this is, like, yesterday I was walking and it was just, like, you know, narrow pathways because of the snow. And, like, somebody was running in it and I was just like, oh, man, everybody thinks you're such an asshole right now. Well, because in recent months I've started playing hockey and I've started doing yoga. And I was so worried that everyone in yoga class would be like, no, what a, you know, Rube I am. Right.

But I find that is very, like, no one cares. No one cares. You're just focused on yourself. And I'm like, I was a little more sure of myself with hockey. And now I'm fairly certain that once I leave, everyone badmouths me. And also, I I'm fairly certain that once I leave everyone bad mouths, and also I don't care, but that's very freeing that you, that you don't care that you're, yeah.

Well, like I, I'm, I know myself. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I,

I would bad mouth. Is it true that there's lots of farts in yoga? Um, it is, uh, I think maybe more in like hot yoga. Right. There's hot yoga, there's fart yoga. So yeah, I do a big, I do a fart yoga class twice a week. No, I have heard that. I have not noticed it.

That's good. Although I do maybe it's the time of day you go. Like I go on a pretty empty stomach. Yeah. That's smart. I guess. I go in the morning when I'm my least farty. Yeah. Although sometimes you're fighting it.

You don't want to do it. You don't want to fart in class. Oh, yeah, that's true. You know what you could do? You just spread your butt cheeks. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah, go on. No, I just want that statement to lay there for a while.

Yeah, I know. You're like, oh, I know. I know how not to, like, have a super loud one. But I also, counterpoint, I know how to have a loud one. Yeah. But also, I just don't want to. I feel like while I'm exercising these muscles that I can exercise, I can clench. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Clenching will add another layer to my workout. Do you find that in spin class, are you judging? Are you judging other people? And are you farting? And are you farting? I'm not really judging people. I judge people when they're in the front row and they suck.

Oh, is the front row earned? Not exactly. It's just like i or or she's trying to figure out where the front of the class is like sometimes there's like it's different like sometimes people will be in the front row and i'm like and i'll be behind them and then i'll be like well i don't want to be behind someone who sucks because like if i if i don't know what I'm doing, I can't copy you,

you know? Right. I see. Okay. Yeah. There's a lot of that yoga of like looking around, like what, what,

it's a little bit of twister of like being like right foot here. And yeah. But like you're sometimes your teachers, your mirror, and sometimes your teachers just walking around. Yeah. Yeah. But always with a

spin they are always on the bike or do they walk around and go like good form depends how fit your your spin instructor is okay how much they get off the bike i see yeah it's hard also those shoes are clipped in yeah yeah i did have one spin instructor who got off the bike once to DMX Rough Rider, I think. Or no, X going, give it to you. And she was dancing in the front class singing. Oh, really? X going, give it to you. And like stomping.

See, the people who. That's stomp class. The people who are most worried about like other people judging them have the least to worry

about it's these people who are like super confident they should be the ones worried

oh man well thank you for taking us through that yeah I know yeah

please wipe down your machine. Is that something you have to do too? Yeah. Yeah. Does everyone do it? No. And I don't like those people.

Yeah. Because this seems like a drippy, drippy environment. Oh, it's the men who make it drippy, drippy. Like they'll leave a puddle on the floor. What's the ratio? It's mostly women and then couples. And then gay men. Okay.

Couples. Maybe that's the way. There we go. Actually, I feel like that is like a big, that might be a Peloton kind of inside game. Like, I did it this fast? I don't know. Are they competing at the same time?

Isn't there a commercial for Gatorade with Dwayne Wade and Gabrielle Union? Oh, yeah. And they're like Peloton-ing each other. You got Peloton. Also. I don't know if I'm using that correctly. I don't know if I'm using that correctly. Also,

isn't it a professional athlete versus an actress? Yeah. I guess that's maybe not fair. Yeah. But you know what? They were making a commercial. That's her domain. Are they a couple?

Yeah. I mean, the commercial indicates it. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Snow, baby. We're in Snowmageddon. I'm loving it. The big thing

that Vancouverites are always criticized for in the snow, well, driving. Yeah, bad driving. And using umbrellas. Oh, yeah. But I don't get, I don't use an umbrella in the rain even. Yeah, ditto.

But I don't get what's wrong with using it in the snow. Yeah, I also don't get what's wrong, especially if it's like goopy. Yeah, it's pretty goopy and wet here yeah i don't i think it's i mean it's very it's very cute seeing people with umbrellas in the snow because it's like i it's the only tool exactly it's like it's like when you see somebody like with just like a kitchen broom trying to like sweep oh my god that's me yeah it's like these are the tools that we have kitchen broom and like salt flakes from your himalayan pink salt yeah

yeah but uh we don't have uh we just we don't have it we don't have, we just, we don't have it. We don't have an infrastructure for snow because it only happens for like a week. Yeah, it does happen, like more and more it happens every year. Yeah. We used to just have, we would get like a day of snow and it would rain the next day. But in recent years we have like a week where everything's frozen. Yeah. And the whole city hilariously routinely, just like shuts down.

Everybody works from home. Yep. People, if businesses are closed, like. Yeah, we're taking a half day today. There's a grocery store. Yeah. Yeah. We're just going to put out, we're going to leave a basket of fruits and vegetables outside.

It's on the honor system. Say what you will about major corporations. They're open. That's true. That's true. They are forcing everybody to show up no matter what. That's true. And also like that week between Christmas and New Year's, I found it very frustrating.

Because I was like, I'm going to go to the sandwich shop I've been meaning to try. We close at 1.30 on December 28th. Yeah. Well, but I, this was my, but Wendy's is open for you. Yeah, it's true. Yeah. Subway's there for you. Yeah.

Sub's going to give it to you. I can't believe that somebody would get off of their bike to do a dance to that of all songs. That's not like a song that has a dance that goes with it. Do I hear another one? Yeah, yeah. Okay. Once the instructor said, I'm going to play this for you guys because today you guys came in like a wrecking ball. And then she played wrecking ball

she plays fireworks oh no my fucking my phone i'm gonna play this for you guys oh what a treat a song i've heard 10 000 times so the kids are loving the snow We may go sledding again today Will you make A snowman We It's not very good snow for snowmen Okay

We've been It's like just very It falls apart Yeah It won't roll up very well Maybe you would know that if you were From a cold place But the kids want to

But we tried And it's just like We can make a one foot snowman yeah yeah yeah that's that's all you need to do um and margo doesn't really know what to do in the snow she gets so excited about it and then just lies down in it yeah oh that's good too yeah angels does she make snowing snow angels but she'll also just lie on her stomach. Put her face down in it. Yeah, it's cold. And if you don't have a bully to face wash you, you gotta do it yourself.

And her school is like no snowball policy. You can't even make them and throw them at the ground. Really? The moment we stepped on the premises the first snow day, they laid down the law. That stinks. I don't know, man. I mean, I remember it. It always ends in tears.

And you put it down people's shirts, the back of their shirts. Yes. Yes, that's true. Yeah. And, like, I remember in high school, I wonder how these guys did this now looking back on it. But for sure there was people, teens that had cars and teens that rode the bus. I was in the bus category. And the teens in the cars would drive by and hit us with snowballs.

But like, did they make several and then just have them on the dashboard? Good for them. Yeah. Oh, it was great. Well, they had all that extra time because they drove. That's right. But like, did they have a, you know, like a cooler? Like, maybe they just made them up the street and then they were like, let's go throw them at that kid waiting at the bus stop.

And they did. And you know what? They connected. And they hurt. But I still think snowballs. Yeah. Right. Yeah. But I still think Snowballs Yeah Right Yeah The other thing is the

Like at night It's so bright Oh yeah Compared to normally That like You know I remember when we had our dog He was black

And We would never worry about Losing him in the snow Oh yeah But at night Like Last year I read that book I'll Be Gone in the snow. Cause, but at night, like, Oh, last year I read that book. I'll be gone in the dark about the golden state killer.

Yeah. Who would just like terrorize a neighborhood for weeks and months and just be hopping fences. And no one could, it was in the seventies and eighties and nobody could keep track of them. And he was just like, everyone was so scared but no one could do anything about it yeah i feel like um he wouldn't even last in the snow no and also you'd leave footprints yeah footprints as well i also think about like other ways in which he

wouldn't do well nowadays because we have like motion detectors. Oh, yeah. Cameras everywhere. Yeah. But yeah, if you're going to try and skulk around, snow is not the time. Well, plus ladies have true crime, you know, everything. Yeah. They're more aware. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They know the tips and tricks. They see the patterns.

Yeah. Yeah. I do a true crime spin class where we listen to a podcast. You may remember this one. Yeah. All right. Oh, yeah. All right.

Since you guys came in like a wrecking ball today, this is about the staircase. Yeah. This is the wrecking ball killer. Oh, man. So, yeah, that's me loving the snow, living the snow. Can't wait for it to go away. Yeah.

You know what? If it stuck around for a day or two, I'd be fine. Oh, yeah. Well, I know it will. But, you know, the week, just give me a week of it and then I'm good.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just the taste. Yeah. Like cocaine. But then I'm just going to want more. How about you? I recently, as I do, I go often to the thrift store. And I'm going to pop some tags.

I always pop some tags. I wear your grandpa's clothes i look incredible um what's the next lyric in that at the thrift shop down the road um i uh i was walking around in the the kind of like odds and ends section what's in there uh like everything from like a brita water filter to um like a fondue set uh so it was like kind of like houseware odds and i don't i wouldn't buy a used water filter but would you buy a used fund yeah yeah yeah yeah because that's never been used no that's true like, a Brita is supposed to make your water cleaner, and anything I got from the thrift shop, I would not feel would accomplish this. And I just, I don't know if you've ever had this, like where you've gone shopping and

you just end up in the same pattern of shopping as somebody else. So you're just like kind of with this person. Yes. For the whole time that you're shopping. Have you ever had that before? Like even at the grocery store where you're like, oh, okay, now I'm going to the dairy. Oh, they're also going. And I'm stuck behind them again.

Yeah. They're enraged. uh this couple that i seem to be in the same shopping pattern as uh worthy couple that was the meanest couple to each other they were like something out of like mori oh wow yeah like that the level of trash talking they were doing to each other i was like oh you guys should uh to each other i was like oh you guys should uh split up you guys are being awful kind of stuff uh well see she would pick up stuff seemingly at random and say what about this but she wasn't like holding up like one water bottle and then a different water bottle yeah she would just pick up a britter water filter and then she'd be and then a fondue set what about this and he would he would nix everything because like i say there didn't seem to be a pattern

to what she was picking up and he didn't seem to have any time for this process at all even though seemed like they were shopping at the thrift shop because, according to her words, because you have no money. And she kept saying, because you have no money, to him. Wow. And I was like, I got to get away from these people. This is terrible. And then everywhere I went, they would just appear in the aisle.

And they just, but again. How about this shirt? It sort of screams, you got no money. That's kind of the broke-ass shirt you were looking for, honey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She did. She said something just like that. Like, broke-ass.

Like, that's why you're always broke. What are you bringing to the table, lady? Yeah, but then he would counter with, I wouldn't be broke if we didn't have to buy all this useless shit. They were at each other's throat. How old are these people? I want to say they were like

in their mid-20s. Yeah, that sounds very right. Yeah, like just, and then, but the whole time I was like, oh, you guys got to break up. But just imagine the makeup sex. That's true.

Just slipped a little note in their pocket. Break up. Break up. Yeah. Like, are you considered a good Samaritan if you step into somebody's relationship and go like, just based on a quick observance. You should not be together. Yeah, you guys are awful together. You probably are going to be awful apart,

but together, you're spectacularly bad. I'd love to see, just be like their relationship coach. Be like, just take some time off. See if you end up rich in a year. See if you end up rich.

See if you stop picking up random things. And if you end up rich in a year. See if you end up rich. See if you stop picking up random things. And if you're still broke after a year, get back together. But like some of the things like I go to the thrift shop without a plan. Like I just like I'm not looking for a specific thing. That's because you're a free spirit. That's right. But they seem to be looking for a specific thing. Well, it's because you're a free spirit. That's right. But they seem to be looking for a specific thing, not finding it, and then her picking up just a random thing.

For like a housewarming gift? No, this seems like this was for their own use. But then there's like a section where there's just a bunch of cords, and I was like, oh, you guys can't be in the cord section. She's going to just pick up random cords. You're going to get so mad about it's gonna connect what about this you said you needed to connect yours this is cd-rom to your compact presario what about this no what about this can i whip you with this um but yeah they were uh once they hit the chord section i was like oh boy this is this is and you were you kept running into them because you

were looking for a chord i was like yeah i was legitimately looking for that chord section must be like i bet it's better than radio shack in terms of the amount of chords people need to throw away yeah and like need to throw away or just like end up throwing away yeah because like uh i moved not that long ago and i have chords for generations of uh product oh yeah i'm not sure i even have the product then what if you do need to plug that in again i'm very hesitant to throw away a cord. I have several cords that are like the power cord for something that also would have batteries. You know that?

Power cord? But I don't know what it's for. And if you plug the wrong one into the wrong device, you will fry it. Is that true? That's what Dave told me in the playground. I mean, it's kind of true.

Yeah. These things, I got one right here. I know what it plugs into, but. That's exactly what I'm talking about. One of those guys. One of these that if it goes, if you put this in the wrong thing and the voltage is wrong, then you might damage the device. But I don't even know if I have the devices anymore. Yeah. You know what I mean? And like I try to link them up by

company name. Yeah. Yeah. This is a Nabisco cord. You're making your own like for my cookie warmer? Yeah. Yeah, so anyways, if that couple out there is listening, break up. Yeah. Yeah, spend some time apart. It's crazy, though, that someone in their 20s is like, you have no money.

Yeah. None of them have money. What does she expect? I don't know. But also, like, he was picking some battles on stuff that was, like, not breaking the bank kind of stuff. And she was like, well, maybe we could have this ugly thing. But also, just like, you live in Vancouver. The tap water's great.

A Valley Village Brita is going to, you don't know what's been in it. Yeah, it's going to contaminate. And that was his point about the water filter. And I was like, he's making a fair point that it's like. They shouldn't even sell it. Yeah, well, he was like, we're going to have to buy a filter. And she was like, we could just clean out the filter that's in there. I was like, with what? A vacuum cleaner? How are you gonna boil it yeah yeah yeah so anyways oh no we just put

some 2000 flushes in it do people still buy the 2000 flushes i don't know must how do you cleanes. I don't know. They must. I don't know. How do you clean your toilet? I don't. We got some of those scrubbing bubbles, flushable, like you... Oh, the little clip? You clip it on and then... See, now that's something that she would pick up the handle for one of those and be like, what about this?

Well, we need to buy the things. She'd be like, well, we can make our own things. Why don't we start a subscription service where every month you get sent four of these things. We can advertise on podcasts. But you know what? If you're a couple that's having like a hard, you're's having a hard time, don't go shopping together. Also, have one person be the person who's going to go and buy the cords, and you do something else in the meantime. Split up the tasks.

Don't go out in public and make everybody else feel awful. Did anyone else feel awful? No, I was the only one that seemed to be on this ship. Yeah. Yeah. Do you ever feel when you go to the thrift shop with like a whimsical attitude that when you see someone who's there because they need like a suit when not that that's a thing anymore, but like people who are like getting necessities, do you ever feel like, uh? I don't think that I see anybody that's getting necessities do you ever feel like uh i don't think that i see anybody that's getting necessities everybody there seems to be doing the exact same thing i'm doing they're just like freestyle going

to the thrift shop right but like buying like if you bought a suit online for cheaper like some fast fashion. Value Village is expensive. Do you ever feel sad when you go to the baby section and they have all those unworn shoes? Yeah, and they've all got the signs that say never worn.

No, I'm fine because that means there's a new generation of babies that are going to get fresh shoes. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but, uh, the, the kids section is the grossest section. Cause like the toys have, oh yeah. Yeah.

Have been, uh, gooped up and, uh, you know, no, they haven't been blanched, you know? Um, yeah, that like, uh, i like the knickknack section that's where that's my safe yeah my safe zone paddywhack give a dog a bone yeah i like it you know like a find an old motel ashtray or something like that yeah i miss ashtrays yeah like just the way they were everywhere. Like my mom just gave me like a crystal one and I just keep like random things in it. Coins, rubber bands.

You put it, you wash it put some candy on it. It's fun. Yeah. Just as bad for you? Well Well sitting is the new smoking. So just don't sit on't sit on man i sit about four packs a day um do we want to move on to overheard sure hey jakey hey helen i hear you have a true false quiz you want me to finish i do here we begin we host a trivia game show podcast on the MaxFun Network called Go Fact Yourself.

True. Correct. The show is all about celebrity guests answering trivia questions about things Jake Heath enjoys. False. We sometimes don't talk about baseball or cats. Thank God. It's questions about things they enjoy. Next, we bring on surprise experts every episode. True. Correct. Final question. It's just the two of us sitting alone experts every episode. True. Correct. Final question. It's just the two of us sitting alone with these guests. False.

Correct. We have a live audience at the Angel City Brewery. See? You can hear Go Fact Yourself every first and third Friday of the month. And if you don't listen, you can go fact yourself. True. Overheard. Overheard is a segment where we hear things, great things, out there in the world, and then we share them here on the podcast.

And we always like to start with the guest. Randy, would you lead the way? Okay, so I read this years ago in I Saw You's in the Georgia Strait. Oh, yeah. This is like the missed connections. Yeah. People who passed the loves of their lives, potentially, saw someone on the bus that they could have had a relationship with. Yeah.

Just to set the table for us here. Yes. This one really stuck with me. The guy says, we're in the same yoga class. I can smell your vegan farts. Oh, Jesus. And I can't remember exactly what it was, but he was like, and they smell so good. Oh, wow.

And I want to go take you on a date to get some vegan food. I mean, you know, it all tracks. Yeah. It's gross. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's no, I mean, it's too specific, but it's not. Any specific fart would be bad.

Like, I smell your barbecue pork farts it's not because it's vegan that it's gross but it's how does he know it's vegan he knows because he's vegan and he has the same one yeah but like you could eat you know vegan cheetos for days. That's true. That's true. And I do. Yeah, also I always wondered with those I saw yous, because there's in the same way that there's no barrier to entry for a bunch of teens to request a song from a radio station. What's the silly content on an I saw you? Because you don't have to pay. There's not a lot there

there's one i i tweeted about once because um i found it so ridiculous it was like this man was like i was a a man in his 40s wearing a hoodie at whole foods and you were a beautiful blonde well-dressed in her 30s and i was like she did not notice you yeah did we have a moment no i just wanted you to know that i i was wearing my best hoodie yeah i was a schlub and you were some kind of model anyways hi yeah hi. Yeah, I knew I saw you. I actually recently put in an I saw you. Did you really?

Yeah. Like earnestly for a person? Yeah, earnestly. I was on a date at- This is like a better platform, I think. Yeah, actually it is. I was on a date with this guy at Uncle Abe's, and um i went to go to the bathroom and i was in line and there was this nice irish guy who was like he had brunette hair he was tall and he let me go in

front of him and then he was asking you go to the bathroom in front of him he watched me that's why i want him back he let me go in front of him. Then he was asking about my date and I was like, Oh, I'm worried. Cause he's too hot for me. And then the guy was like,

no, you're too good looking for him. And then, um, when I went to go sit down, my date was like, who is that you're talking to? And I was like,

uh, I don't know. Just a guy i met in line and he goes oh and i'm and i'm like oh he's irish and he goes you know what irish people are alcoholics wow i saw you judging yeah yeah so did you have a second date with this guy i did and uh we kissed and he ate tried to eat my face off. Oh, man. This guy's got two strikes against him. Yeah.

But I'd give him another chance. Yeah, give him a third try. I tried. He didn't want to. Well, if you're out there, Irish guy, this guy who is too good looking for me has dumped me. Was he with anyone, the Irish? He was just with his friend. Ah, his mate.

Yeah. Yeah. His wee laddie. Oh, boy. Dave, do you have an overheard? I was in line at Shopper's Drug Mart, everything you want in a drugstore. And it was, I guess it must have been after 9 p.m. Because why else would I be in the actual line

and not using the self-checkout? That's true. They close them late at night. So I'm in line behind this woman, and it's taking way too long, and I realize it's because this older woman, in her 60s, maybe 70s, was arguing with the woman behind the counter

about lottery tickets yes and uh i i don't know the crux of it but they both seem to well the the customer felt very strongly about it and the woman was just like i scanned it that's it yeah like that what what else do you want me to do and the woman said uh i'm gonna call the lotto and tell them you weren't trained properly. Oh, boy. That is some empty threat. First of all, you're not calling the lotto. Yeah.

I'd like to report somebody who isn't trained well on scratch tickets at Shoppers Recommend. well on scratch tickets at Shoppers.com And I just imagine this woman going back to her apartment with her son, the Joker. And him being like, Ma, you gotta stop yelling at people

in stores. Ma, you gotta get in trouble one of these days. I gotta go sit in the fridge. Yeah. You know what it's the only movie that has the guts to portray that's a big part of having a mental health struggle

you hide in fridges you eat your own face paint and you hide in fridges it's an epidemic and you know what movies shy away from it not this one that's why it got the most oscar nomination really yeah it's so sad that this happened yeah it's we're living in a very dumb timeline yeah like some something's happened and now it's

just it's you know it's just gonna to be dumb. And you know what? You can enjoy the movie Joker and still acknowledge that it was not the best picture of the year. No, you can't, Graham. It defines us. It defines our time. It pointed a mirror at society and it was like, I don't know. It did? I don't know. It did. I don't know,

man. It did the sloppiest, like, have you seen it? Yeah. The sloppiest reveal of a thing that you as an audience were like, yes, I already knew that.

Yes. I am aware of what's going on here. He's going to go in the fridge. Yeah. I could tell you. I see a fridge in the background. He to go in the fridge. I could tell you. I see a fridge in the background. He's going in that fridge. Oh, boy.

But it was just like when they unveiled the big twist. They were like, ta-da. You're like, uh-huh. The thing we've been building up to forever. Yeah, knew it.huh. Uh-huh. The thing we've been building up to forever. Yeah. Knew it. Okay. Graham? Yes.

Gosh, we're going to lose listeners. We're going to lose Joker fans. Who can't take a joke. This overheard is courtesy of a, uh, a gentleman explaining to a lady. Don't know if they were on a date, uh, but explaining to a lady, uh, how much he plays, uh, still Pokemon go. Um, but he was giving a very thorough explanation of it. And then, uh, said as a point of bragging, I've even done it on our trips to Paris. Oh, wow.

Yeah. Found a Pikachu in the Louvre. With a baguette. I did see something about how, like, Pokemon Go has defied the odds. And it seems like it should have just been a fad, but it is still going strong. I thought that it was just a fad, but no. I mean, I think for most people it is, but it's got like a very strong community.

Hmm. Maybe Detective Pikachu should be nominated for Best Picture of the Year. Yes, maybe it should. Yeah. Thank you. Yes, I'm not afraid to say it. Ryan Reynolds as Pikachu.

Who's his human counterpart? Does he have to, like, go? The guy from, he was on 30 Rock. He played Liz Lemon's husband. Wow. Are you talking about James Marsden? Yeah, isn't he the- That's Sonic.

Oh, that's Sonic. Yeah. Okay. It's like a young guy. I'm not sure what his... Oh, I thought it was... Yeah. Oh, I did.

I got my... Oh, boy, Graham. My video game. You lost a lot of cred. That's true. I'll get it back. Let me climb into this fridge first. Yum, yum, yum.

Face paint. into this fridge first. Yum, yum, yum, yum. Face paint. We also have overheard sent in from people around the globe. And if you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfun.org. It's Justice Smith?

Justice Smith. Look like that? Oh. I mean, he's the second lead in the movie after Ryan Reynolds, according to IMDb. Justice Smith. Good name. Good, great. There you have it.

Perhaps a Smith of the Will Smiths? I don't think he's related to Will Smith. No? No, there's Jaden and then the other boy. There's like seven. Yeah, but it's a common name. That's true. Justice.

There's a lot of justices. Yeah. But who names their kid Justice? Somebody who lives in a lawless land who hopes that they'll bring some sort of order um this first overheard comes from alicia in muwanza tanzania holy moly whoa um i uh mostly included it because uh this person ends it by saying i am ind nindie sasa, which is, well, off I go in Swahili. Oh, my. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So, pretty international. I volunteer in the office at my seven-year-old son's school. The other day, I walked by a window during lunchtime and heard my son giggling hysterically. I saw him standing next to the garbage bin trying to convince passersby to throw something away so that he could see the gross thing that was inside the garbage. He chanted over and over again, open it, open it, until someone would open the lid, at which point he would glance inside and shout, start laughing again. After two cycles of this, I asked the head of the primary school, do you think there's something really gross or really cool in the garbage can? He thought it was gross, but not too gross.

Like, it's probably not a dead monkey? Yes. Wow. Yeah. I think that's, apparently, that's a worry in this part of the world. You might have a dead monkey in your garbage can. Is this the Jeff Foxworthy bit? You might be in Tanzania if.

But yeah, I just thought that was a real cultural exchange. Yeah. I mean, in this part of the world, raccoons. Yeah, I saw a dead raccoon in a box. In a box in a box i was just walking home and i saw these weird these hands sticking out from a cardboard box no thank you and i went and looked no thank you the rest of this story what's in the box well graham of course, his landlord found a drowned possum and ate it? That's right. What?

Yeah. I had a landlord. In one bite? Yeah. I had a landlord. It was, I mean, was eccentric. And, you know, living in a fridge, climbing in the fridge type. And he found a drowned possum in a water barrel and he ate it uh ate it here uh yeah yeah out in maple ridge we have possums and not so much anymore oh yeah he ate them all

oh so this wasn't on your property no okay is that no those are our possums yeah get out of there look at the lease look at lease. Where does it say you get my possum? This next one comes from Ian T. from right here in Vancouver. This is overheard from Ian T.'s girlfriend. She was chatting with her work friends, and one of them was complaining that somebody said she looked like Kathy Griffin. My girlfriend says, hey, it's not so bad being told you look like a cartoon character. Everyone looked very confused, and she played it off as a bad joke. What actually happened was she thought that Kathy Griffin was the name of Peter Griffin's wife on Family Guy.

Oh. And her real name is? Lois. Lois. Ah, nice. I mean, they're both redheads. Yeah. And you know what?

You could do worse than looking like Kathy Griffin. Yeah. You know, you could be told that you look like the head of Donald Trump that she cut off. Oh, boy. That was a career misstep. Was it? I don't know. Did she lose any work?

No. Are we still mad about it? She lives next door to the Kardashians. That's how rich she is. Oh, wow. She's fine. That's the D list. She married a man named Randy.

Oh, is that right? Oh, your name's Randy. Yeah. So do you keep up on like notable Randys? Yeah, sometimes. Do you have a Google alert for the word Randy? No, that would be frightening. Who are the top Randys at the moment?

Randy Quaid. Still. Newman. Newman, yeah. Randy Newman. Wow. Because he wrote a new song for Toy Story 4. Yeah.

An Oscar nom. Is that it? Are those the top Randys? I mean, don't look at me. Do you know who's my favorite Randy? Do you remember in Mad Men, Mrs. Blankenship? Mm-hmm. Her name's Randy Heller.

Nice. Well, I don't want to spoil her Mad Men. Was she the old lady? Yeah, the old lady secretary. She was an astronaut. That's right. Yeah. This last one comes from Matt in Massachusetts.

Our seven-year-old daughter spends a fair amount of pre-shower time posing in front of the floor-to-ceiling mirror, as we all do. Quick pose before you hop in. Sure. Um, uh, in this particular night, she was, uh, wearing only pants as she admired herself. She asked me, what's the best part of your body? I wasn't sure how to answer. I was a little worried where this might go. I just said, well, the best part of my body.

And she said, mine's the spine. And then she reached around the back and felt it. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. My daughter, a stegosaurus. My spine. What's the best part of your body? Quick survey, everybody.

Boy, my moneymaker. What do I shake when I shake my moneymaker? I guess the best part is my mind. Yeah, mine and my fist of fury. And yours, Randy? I bike in the summer, and I was biking, and these guys saw me going up the hill, and they were like, she's starked. So my legs. Nice.

Yeah. Wow. Shut up, guys nice yeah wow shut up guys yeah shut up guys unless you're CZ Top and then you wrote that song there's

I watched all of Fleabag in a very short amount of time and in the second season she's obsessed with this priest

and hot priest hot priest they call him and he's walking down the street they're walking down the street together and she's narrating. She's like, his neck, his neck.

Oh, yeah. Oh, his neck. I'm like, not much. I mean, it's fine. Yeah. No, if you're going to be talking about somebody's neck, it's got to be like crazy. It'll be like the rock's neck. It's got to be so long.

Yeah. It's got to be a giraffe. It's got to be either so long or so wide. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's got to be one of those crazy, like, where the head just morphs into the shoulder, like that kind of neck. Oh, yeah. Yeah. In addition to overheards that

are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one, ugh, SpyPod 1, like these people have. Hi, Dave, Graham, and possible guests. This is Erin from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

I was just in Barnes & Noble, and as I was leaving the store, I saw this bro. I think he was on FaceTime, and he just said, Yeah, dude, I'm at Old Barnsy. time and he just said yeah dude i'm at old barnesie hells yeah yeah yeah speaking of unlimited data like facetiming at barnes and noble yeah i don't understand it it's the it's the new thing. People like FaceTiming in public. Yeah. Or just listening to music on their phone without, it's just, it's. I don't even like FaceTiming in the best of times.

No. Even with my children when they're visiting their grandparents. I'm like, kids, this is a bad angle for me. I'm going to hang up. Yeah, do you ever FaceTime? I've never. No, I've Skyped, which I assume is pretty much the same. Yeah, I've Skyped.

Then your friend brings their laptop to the toilet. No, you need to make a better class of friends, Randy. I'm just going to use the toilet it so you know what come with me there's no reason this conversation needs to be put on pause all right here's your next phone call hey dave and graham lovely guest this is adrian from austin um i was at Whole Foods a while back. It was a couple years ago, and these two women walked by, and I overheard one of them say, what did one tampon say to the other? And they kept walking, and I kept walking, but I just couldn't live with not knowing what the punchline was, so I ran after them and told them I overheard the first part of the joke.

And they were like, oh, I'm so sorry. It was so crude. And I was like, no, I just need to hear the rest of the joke. And so this is how it goes. What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing. They were both stuck up bitches. Whoa.

So that's all. I still think it's funny. Thanks'all appreciate it uh you know what i would have done would have googled that that first part of the joke and i'm sure that the google would know i think when you google it the c word comes up it's not bitches yeah it is yeah I think she maybe made it a little bit more PG yeah but you know what you could have made it

even more PG yeah by not calling it in yeah oh boy but you know what I do I do like that situation

of chasing down I must know the answer to your little riddle yeah should I take out the stuff to your little riddle. Should I take out the stuff about badmouthing the Joker? I feel like we're just going to hemorrhage listeners. He's going to win the Oscar.

We'll be fine. He's going to win that Oscar. Here is your final overheard. Hello Dave Graham and very cool guest. This is Scott from Madison calling in for a short tune. So I was at the mall parking lot and as I was walking back to my car after buying some stuff, I saw a minivan that had the bumper sticker, uh, fuck you, I'm a roller derby mom. And then had truck nuts hanging under the trunk too cool yeah yeah you buy one well you're here you're in that section of the store anyways you know roller derby mom fuck you but yeah i'll fuck you yeah um yeah is that like

proud mom of a roller derby i'm just wondering yeah what a at what age can you start doing roller derby uh i don't know like they don't kids don't do it no but probably i feel like it's something that you do when you're in your 20s you you join a role yeah yeah yeah and beyond Yeah. But then I feel like then you're not doing it in your 40s. You're not doing roller derby in your 40s. Right, but are your parents proud of you in your 20s for doing it? If you give them nothing else to be proud of, then. I mean, sure.

What would your parents parents bumper stickers say about you now? Proud parent of a podcaster? A Joker fan? Mine would be a proud parent of my other three

kids. That would be very funny. Bumper sticker to sell. Proud parent of my other three kids. Proud parent of Dave's three siblings. That would be very funny. Puppers, Tigger, and Azalea. Proud parent of my other three. Proud parent of Dave's three siblings. What would yours say?

My mom's would just say, she's very independent. Proud parent of a very independent little girl. I like it. Yeah. Well, that brings us to the end of the podcast. As we set off the top of the show, you'll have an album coming out in May is the delivery date. May 12th. And I actually have a podcast coming out called So You Ruined the Party Again.

Okay. That's coming out on the 20th. We got behind, so there's two episodes the first week and two episodes the next week, so there'll actually be four episodes out by the time this comes out. What is the deal? Yeah, what's the premise? You just go on, you tell a story about how you ruined a party

or you watched someone ruin a party. Oh, nice. Yeah. Hmm. I haven't been to a party that wasn't ruined. Yeah, but I'm just thinking, like, have I ever personally ruined a party? I'm sure I did when I was a kid. I'm sure.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sure my parents were having a party and'm sure i did when i was a kid i'm sure yeah yeah i'm sure my parents were having a party and i somehow ruined it i remember there was something i went to a party once in grade 11 or 12 and a girl i was involved in something she kicked she was barefoot and she kicked something and her toe started bleeding i like i don't know any of the details but then i ran into her like 20 years later and I was like, do you remember that? I'm really sorry about that. And she was like, that wasn't me. You're thinking of something else.

We've met, but not there. Do you know what happened there? I don't remember. Do you have a story that spawned this podcast that you ruined a party? Well, it wasn't really a party. It was that I was at a party, and I was talking to my friend, and I was telling a story about how I was on kind of a double date.

You date a lot. No, this isn't rare. was on kind of a double date and you date a lot no this is it but um uh the guy was like so annoying that i flipped our nachos like like flipping the table yeah kind of just flip the tray in rage not in rage just kind of like nonchalantly like this is over yeah and um and uh and then i told my friend this and he was like whoa i was at a party oh no and i had a and i had a bowl of doritos and i just threw it and i was like oh so other people are as wacko as me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I thought he was going to say, oh, I was at a party and this girl flipped some nachos. That wasn't me.

You're thinking of some other girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, yeah, so check it out. It's called, sorry, what was the name of it called again? So You Ruined the Party Again. So You Ruined the Party Again. Wherever you download podcasts, it'll be there. Can I give you a piece of advice?

Yes. Lose the the. It's cleaner. It's cleaner. So You Ruined Party Again. Oh, boy. Oh, another thing I wanted to mention is uh you guys it's not that funny it is that funny the guy who gives that advice to everyone just always telling people to lose the in Beatles just Beatles

Beatles yeah um the uh uh so like way back this summer

when uh Sophie Buttle was on the podcast we were talking about Tanner Zipchen the guy who that's right hosts the uh

pre-show movie stuff and uh he lost his job and everyone's sending us the link. Don't send us the link. We were defending him. We like him.

Yeah, we were pros. I'm pro. We want people to keep their jobs. I don't know what I'm going to watch before a movie now. I know. I liked him a lot. I was also jealous.

I want his job.. I liked, yeah. But I was also jealous. Oh, sure. I want his job. Yeah, yeah. Now I can have it. Yeah, we can all have it. No, we hope Tanner lands on his little feet. His tiny little feet. Can I retake that?

Okay. We hope Tanner lands on his feet. Yeah. His regular size feet. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for being our guest. Yeah, thanks for having me. Oh, it was a pleasure.

Thank you everybody out there for listening. If you like the podcast, why not tell some friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.