Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 620 - Ryan Beil

Episode Date: February 3, 2020

Improviser Ryan Beil returns to talk Urkel, old man movie complaints, and 7-11.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 620 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who earlier before the show we both couldn't remember the name of the movie Dunkirk and thought it was called... I forget, Gorgendorg or something? Gorgendorg.

Yeah, it was something like Gorgendorg or Gorgendale. Yeah. And for like two minutes we were like, is it i know it's one word yeah i know it's you know operation dynamo yeah but i couldn't tell you the place it happened what shores we went to yeah and i was picturing sitting in the theater looking at the screen and the the title, just Gorgondork. Gorgondale. Gorgondale. That voice you hear there, that's our guest today.

He is a comedian, actor, writer. You can see him every Sunday as part of the Sunday service at the Fox Cabaret, and every Monday as part of getting the business. Not every Monday. One Monday a month. Not every Monday. One Monday a month. Oh, sorry. One Monday a month. It's a month. Okay.

Last Monday of every month. L-M-O-T-M. Yeah. That's right. That's the acronym we're trying to get out there. L-M-O-T-M. Also at the Fox in the upstairs projection room. In the small, sleek projection room.

Yeah. Formerly the projection room when Fox was a movie theater. Oh, yeah. A porno movie theater. Yes, a triple X rated movie theater. Well, I don't know that the projection room had any particular nastiness going on. Oh, Dave, if those walkers could talk. I mean, couldn't a projection, is it any movie theater, be gross?

Yeah. I think they are. Yeah. I think that's why they phased them out. Yeah, it's not just a kid pushing a button. Yeah, it's more wholesome up there. Yeah, but back in the day, the guy had to attach reels together. It was a real Gorgon day.

Yeah. It's wholesome now. Back then, it was glory wholesome. Hey. Do you want to get to know us? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Get to know us.

Ryan, what is Getting the Business? Getting the Business is a live sitcom. I write and perform with Mr. Mark Chavez of the Sunday Service. And it's about, it's about, we just wanted to, we wanted to have a reason to write something every month, give ourselves a deadline and do a show together. And this is sort of what we've settled on. It's about an agent,

me, and an actor, Mark. No, an agent, Mark, and an actor, me.

I'm already having trouble following this. Oh God. Yeah. And it's this, we sort of, but we've become more cryptozoological

sort of supernatural detectives. Okay, cool. Was that the intention? No, we got a little bored with having an agent and an actor so now they've met Bigfoot, they've chased a ghost,

they were imprisoned by a Russian oligarch, went back in time, now they're going to meet an alien. This is very Scooby-Doo. Very Scooby-Doo. Funny you should say that, because season two is all about us finding a base and dissolving mysteries kind of every week. From your base. Yeah, from our base, like the Ghostbusters.

Season two is. Yeah, so we started season two. Season two launches next week. Well, you'll have missed it, listener. Yeah. But the, so season one you got bored already. We got bored after the pilot. And so then we, the second episode was We Met Bigfoot.

The first episode was about me as a commercial actor. The second episode, We Met Bigfoot. The first episode was about me as a commercial actor. The second episode, We Met Bigfoot. Now, you say you like having a deadline every month. What is the deadline? The day of? The day, yes. We must present the show. And when would you say you get the writing done?

We get the week before. We have a special guest every month, a special guest star. We like to do some kind of little read-through the week before. Frankie Muniz. Exactly. Frankie Muniz is the guy who played Dewey on Malcolm in the Middle. All the Malcolm in the Middle actors. Danny Masterson's brother.

Yeah, the only one who's turned it down is Cranston. Yeah. Can't get Cranston to save our life. You got Kaczmarek twice. I like the conceit of a show that starts with a premise that gets bored by the second episode. Like, if the pilot episode was about a family, and in the second episode, the wife gets pregnant. Yeah, exactly. Like, we need to jazz this up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100%. But we still use those as our back, like, my character is an actor, he is an agent, so that kind of permeates through. Right. It's a little bit, it's their core, their backstory. I think it would be good if there was a sitcom where the mother is pregnant, and then she just stays pregnant for 10 years.

That would rule. That would rule, because then you know how you're ending the series. Yeah, an adult is born. Just a gooey adult. Yeah. Hello. And you get like a big name actor to play the gooey adult. And then that's a spinoff.

Yeah. And him trying to like, I'm just a baby. Don't you get it? Don't you? You shouldn't smell Sylvie Smokes. Yeah. I'm a baby. I'm a baby I'm a baby

I was born do I look like I was born yesterday no I was oh that's the title of the show born yesterday yeah

oh yes this is a good show season 3 what is the does he have baby problems he's got baby problems and adult problems

oh okay like he's he's gotta have a job no he goes to daycare oh he goes to daycare but Oh, he goes to daycare. But then at night he works in a factory? Yes. He wants to get both experiences.

He wants to be a baby, but he also has to pull his own weight. And then some days he's arranged a play date on the same time he's having his possible dinner. Oh, yeah. He can't keep his head up because his neck is too weak. But he also has to like stay awake in a meeting he gets his friends to burp him after a night of drinking

he goes on a date with a woman and she's like stop staring at my breasts and he's like I'm starving oh this show born yesterday

oh yeah oh man the original show is called like ready to pop or something yeah Oh, born yesterday. Oh, yeah. Oh, man. The original show is called, like, Ready to Pop or something? And when the woman who played the mother, she'll come on every now and then, and born yesterday, she'll get uproarious applause from the studio audience. Oh, yeah. On Ready to Pop, though, it's a real will they, won't they?

Yeah, yeah. you know they have to eventually but it's been 10 years in there and somehow he's born in the 40s he's a 6 year old man

yeah that part is never addressed they needed to zhuzh up the plot a little bit well like they do that on on soap operas

and TV shows a lot like a baby's born and then two weeks later my 4 my four-year-old son here exactly that's right look we need the thing to walk around and say things yeah i was reading for some reason ruining takes with a wah i was reading the trivia page about uh call the midwife yeah huh and why i don't know. Who knows? I can't sleep. Have you watched Call the Midwife?

No. Oh, boy. But the babies they use on the show, either they have a weak old baby, so they've got like a constant source of weak old babies. Oh, they're weak with two E's. Not a weak old baby. This baby's barely a baby anymore and he can't lift a thing. He's one and then they have like

an animatronic baby oh cool and I was like well that is pretty cool does he sing songs like a Chuck E. Cheese yeah I understand

it's your birthday I understand four score and seven years ago the animatronic is Abraham Lincoln yeah we use an animatronic

we've had to edit it out every time we use it yeah little babe Lincoln babe Lincoln I did a commercial once that had a baby in it of course everyone knows

they have the baby that they want to use but then just in case that one's fussy they have a backup baby oh I didn't know that. Just like a bit of a B-squad baby in the looks department. Sure.

But you know it's going to be calm. So just in case the main baby gets too fussy, that's always kind of an interesting situation. It's interesting to me that there are people, because it feels like that first couple weeks of having a baby is a pretty stressful time. And special. Yeah, and you don't want to add auditions into it. Yeah, and set visits.

And resentment, like, you stupid baby didn't get the part. Baby. You're only going to be a baby for so long. You think you're going to be a toddler actor? I don't think so. Not with the way you audition now. What was this commercial? It was for

an internet provider in the States. I believe the Southern United States. I forget what it was called. But it was a two word one word. It was like

something link and the director was so specific about saying it was like sudden link. So maybe your American listeners can tell me

if there are any if this sudden link is an internet provider. Right. I won't Google it. Okay. Okay. We're just like, we wouldn't Google the name of the movie, Gorgondor. I wanted to say Gorgondale.

Sounds like kind of like if Mad Magazine did like a Riverdale in space kind of monster thing. Gorgondale. Did you grow up reading a mad magazine? I did. I, I, I tried to be a cracked, uh,

person because my brother had a subscription to mad. Right. And I was like, I'm going my own way. I like Pepsi, cracked magazine. Yeah. You know what I'm saying?

Black licorice. All the different things they knew. Mom and dad all love buying two separate things. Yeah. Having us not share.

You're the color blue, I'm the color red. Actually, that's how it was for me and my brother. My mother and I, we just identified our favorite colors

and then my mother got us and my father too. Everything red, everything blue. Oh, really? Yes. And you're a red guy? I was red.

So you, if each were getting just a hat. Like a similar item, everything blue. Oh, really? And you're a red guy? I was red. So if each were getting just a hat. Like a similar item, you know. Similar item. I would get a red thing. You would get a Raphael, he would get a Leonardo. Correct. I see. I also got the bad guys. He got He-Man, I got the bad guys.

It was an odd distinction. Red Skeletor. And I would always have to tip my king because he'd be like, He-Man wins. I'm like, you're right. That is how this story ends. No anecdotal evidence of the otherwise. Now, what's the age diff? Two years. So right in the pocket.

Yeah. We're like being in each other's business. Like you totally could have been, it could have gone the route of being best friends forever or you were just constantly at each other. Yeah, and it was a little bit of both all the time. Yeah. At each other quite a bit. Because you were in, do you go to the same school?

We did. So you were in the same schools at the same time. Oh yeah, exactly. Witnessing each other in our natural habitats. Yeah. Strange. Did you ever get like a warning from a teacher? From like,

like, Oh, you're Warren's. Yes. Yes. Yes. And mostly, mostly nicely.

My brother was a, was a good, was a good kid, but he was also, you know, he's a, he's a tougher boy than I was. Yeah. It's like my,

my friend, Scott Dixon. You could never get out from under the shadow of Heath Dixon, who was our equivalent of Dennis the Menace. That guy was always up to trouble. And so poor Shane Dixon

every class you're Heath's brother. Oh yeah. Oh boy. Yeah. Heath is a good name. Heath is a great name. But not Keith.

No no. Keith is Keith is a bad name. Keith is a great name. But not Keith. No, no. Keith is a bad name. And Kiefer. Yikes. Oh, boy. You went to school with Kiefer Sutherland. Yeah, yeah.

We were drinking buddies. We started a band together. He continued on down that road. I did not. He was like, do you want to see a dead body? You were in that scene. Yeah, I was in that scene. You were in the car with him. I was like, do you want to see a dead body? You were in that scene. Yeah, I was in that scene. You were in the car with him.

I was the other hood. I was sitting in the back. I had one line that was cut out and it was like, guys, I don't think we should be doing this. You were like, can we go to band practice already? Are you going to kill those kids? I spilled my malted. You're not going to kill those kids. That one just threw up all the pie

you gotta kill them all cause there's witnesses and then you'll have to kill us cause I can't keep my mouth shut I'm the one who told you about that dead body what a long line yeah he's really now he's just touring around But it got cut. He's really now, he's just touring around as a musician now.

I guess maybe he does some active things. He's in, is Designated Survivor not still on? That could be. It could be in its season. Now, he always wanted to play Tommy Douglas in something. Is that his grandfather? That's his grandfather, right? Yes.

Yes. That is correct. Tommy Douglas, a Canadian credited with our health care system. Universal health care. There's a... CC, yeah. Yeah, there were like a bunch of doctors in Saskatchewan that didn't want that to happen. Can you imagine if your relative was like one of the doctors who was like, not on my watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Like, my grandfather is this guy. Oh, my grandfather was a doctor. Yeah. Walked out on his patients. Doctor moneybags. I like strike. My grandfather was a doctor who wanted to be really rich instead of just pretty rich. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, my grandfather was a doctor who wanted to be really rich instead of just pretty rich.

Yeah. Yeah. So you grew up tall and you grew up right. Yes, I did. Yeah. With those Indiana boys. Yes, I did. On those Indiana nights.

Yes, I did. Yes, I did. That's right. And then were you, growing up, were you always lean towards the arts? I was. I was always. If there was drama to be done, I was in line for it. I did drama with him when I was in high school.

Did you? And he was, you must have been in grade 9 and I was in grade 11. Yes. It was a real 9-11 situation. What was the drama that you did? We did improv. We did improv against each other. Yes.

But I remember we also did some workshops together. And our teams were like friends. Yeah. We were friend teams. All improvs are friends, I think. There was some animosity between some of the teams. I mean, when you put any kind of competition in amongst, I think, young people,

I think you can't help but like, oh, those guys. Those screws. Yeah. They smell like pee mixed with poo. Like, we always thought that there was some teams that were pre-planning. Oh. That made us upset. Yeah.

Because it wasn't pure improv. Stinks, man. And there's no way to test for it. Yeah. It's not like there's a urine test some of these gags were pre-planned test them again

we're not getting anything in the urine and actually on also in our improv league I don't know if you ever crossed paths

with Seth Rogen and Nathan Fielder were on an improv team together in our league. Oh, okay. Yeah, are they your age?

Yeah, I believe Seth is my age and Nathan is one year younger. Right, so I would have been a little too old. Yeah, you were

already in UVic, blissed out on your acoustic guitar. Yeah, totally. You guys want to hear Satellite by Dave Matthews band?

Yeah. you guys want to hear Satellite by Dave Matthews band have you ever auditioned for Gorgondale oh no they won't see me I auditioned for Riverdale and I really wanted the part because the part was selling Archie Andrews

a gun I think we have we talked about this I think probably it's one of my only good stories and I didn't even get the part like there'sie Andrews a gun. I think we, have we talked about this? I think probably. It's one of my only good stories. And I didn't even get the part. Like, there's an actor out there with a better story because he got the part and got to do it. But just to be part of that

cultural. You read Cracked and probably Mad. I did read the Mads. You eventually. I read all the Mads. What was Cracked's guy? It was a little janitor, a blonde janitor. I forget his name, but he was all, he was very.

Was he like a kid? Yeah, he was kind of like a kid. He had a, yeah, kind of a cherubic face. And Hobbes kind of. Yeah.

Yeah. And he had like white nose. A little overall. Yeah. Yeah. Like a long broom, which is always sweeping up, but gets screwing up with.

Did you also read Archie? I did. We had lots of Archies. I don't know where they came from. We had a box of Archies and Garfields. Oh. Go read comic books, kids,

and those were our comic books. Garfield was the only one that ever had the rectangular book format. Which would be perfect for most comic strips. Yeah. It was the only one.

Because you had to really sometimes to see what was going on in the arches, you had to like really get in there. Yeah. Finding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's so many visual cues in those stories. That's true.

What food is Jughead carrying a giant tray of? Were there ever any stories in Archie that you just skipped over? Like if it was like a Reggie heavy storyline? Those are the ones I'd skip over. Oh, I never skipped any. No. I would like it if

one was too long, I'd be like, ugh. Like one that like maybe, yeah, has ads in the middle of it somehow? Like it's just like,

you're like. No, I never skipped over. One I miss and I wish I'd seen the end of. Do you remember when they did like a 10 part?

No. They were doing an RC race across America. No. So they had, there were two teams and art and they would be up like in the sky, like the, like in the car driving.

So someone's driving an actual car while they race their little RC car. So the person in the car is, is a passenger, like basically a passenger in a car someone else is controlling. No, so no, no. So there's a person

driving an actual car and in that car that was from that car they would drive their RC cars in front of that car and they would take turns putting their different

RC cars on the and so it was a race they would follow along slowly in an actual car and Archie's team had like a jalopy RV I think Reggie's team

had Veronica and Veronica's team like had the lodge money behind it so they had like a jalopy RV. I think Reggie's team had Veronica. Yeah, jalopy RV. And Veronica's team had the lodge money behind it, so they had like a really proper... It's a real Ford versus Ferrari.

Yes. Yes. But I miss... I'm sad I never got to the end of that. Yeah. Ten parter. I remember...

Ten parter. I think so. Ten issues. I mean, I'm pulling that. It could be more, it could be less, but it was like... But it was like...

In multiple issues like in multiple issues in multiple issues yes sometimes they would do a long storyline in multiple issues no in like a huge double digest

in a double digest yeah and they'd put ads in between it and then sometimes just a fun you know Archie in Logtrog

or whatever yeah Logtrog one of them had to be a word. Yeah. Or they both had to be a word. Okay. Archie's RC Racers, 1989.

Yeah. Yeah. That's how you was a thing. $9.60. Add to cart. Okay. Yes. This seems to be a...

I mean, look. This is from the foggy childhood. Maybe it was not... Maybe it was like... the foggy childhood. So maybe it was not. Maybe like I. Maybe, but no, it was its own series. It wasn't. It was a series. Okay.

Yeah. And there are one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. There are. Oh, nice. I mean, that's according to mycomicshop.com. Wow. That's my, that's where I go for all my news. 960 is just for, how is that? That just for one or for the whole series? No, that's according to mycomicshop.com. Well, that's where I go for all my news. So 960 is just for, how is that?

Is that just for one or for the whole series? No, that's for one. That's for the first one. Holy shit. Why is the next one $6 and the next one's $5? They're all 36 pages. Yeah, well, once they figure they got to hook you. Yeah.

Well, they should give them one cheaper than the first one. Exactly. Keep you going. Keep you coming back for the other issue. And the second last one is up to $8, but then the last one. Exactly. Keep you going. Keep you coming back for the other issue. And the second last one is up to $8, but then the last one's $4. Do you want me to buy you the last one so you can figure out how it ends? Yeah, I want you to

buy me that comic book. There was a show that I feel like I watched an episode of that it was all about racing. And it was all these cartoon characters. Oh, yeah. Wacky Racers? Was it called Wacky Racers? Yeah, they had the dog with the wheezing dog.

Yeah, and then I feel like there was a spooky guy that had a spooky vehicle. Yeah. And then a Snidely Whiplash type character. I think it might have been Snidely Whiplash. But I don't know because he wasn't he in the Bullwinkleverse, Snidely Whiplash. But I don't know because he wasn't he in the Bullwinkleverse? Snidely Whiplash? Yeah, because it was a Dudley Do-Right thing. Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah. But then there was like a bad, but every episode they were just racing around. Yeah. So it was this like perpetual. Always racing. It was purgatory. It was purgatory.

This is where all the animated characters go. Yeah, who are like, don't deserve hell. No. They have to atone for something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was also like, I think, a couple good characters, like I want to say handsome, there's like a handsome guy and a handsome woman. Well, you know they're good.

Yeah, that's true. So that was a visual cue. I need those visual cues. I need those visual cues. I need those visual cues. What's a role that, aside from selling Archie a gun, which is fantastic. It would have been so awesome. Is there any other roles that was the role that was,

just like it would have been the greatest to be able to just say, I did that. Oh, yeah. I'm trying to think. Because I've been rejected so many times. Well, such is the life of an actor. Such is the life of an actor. Yes, absolutely.

What's like, is it, does it go in ways where you just like nail, you like book a bunch all at once? Oh, yeah. I find that. Like, I think, well, I just, when you're hot, you're hot. And then I think sometimes people then go like, oh, we've seen a lot of him. So we'll go to the bottom of the pile. Not in like a vindictive way. It's just sort of like you saturate your own market a little bit.

Yeah, right. And then people are like, what else is out there? Yeah. So personally, that's sort of what I think. And then I think, you know, a bad year or a bad stretch is always around the corner. Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It never stops. It's just a constant.

It's so disheartening. Sometimes you'll be in an audition, you'll be like, that guy? I thought he was famous. Like, oh, no. It's like it never stops. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was on a sitcom. You don't reach a level and go like, now you're secure.

Putz forever. Yeah. Bye. putz forever yeah like bye yeah cause like I know I've heard about people

being in audition rooms with like the guy who was you know David Faustino who was the Bud Bundy yeah you think that guy

would get all the roles or at least more than me you think you'd be offer only yeah a bit yeah but

I kind of assumed you were like on one of the most popular... Guys, he's right around the corner. He's booking Born Yesterday. He'd be perfect for Born Yesterday.

What is Born... Oh, yeah, Born Yesterday. I was like, what is that? Oh, yeah. Why does that sound so familiar? Because he's kind of short.

Yeah. So you know he could probably... Probably C-section, I'm guessing. But if you ask him... But in a pinch will you shave your goatee

for the role? Oh right. I don't know. I don't know. Born with a goatee yesterday. Shouldn't he be born fully bearded?

Yeah I guess so. That would make sense. Yes he would be. How many episodes of the show is he covered in goo? Does he have to hit the ground running? Like, he's got to go to work today.

Goo, goo, ga, ga. Goo, goo, ga, ga. That's his catchphrase. He gets a job at Google. They think he said Google. That's good enough. he said Google. That's good enough. He said Google. They hired Vince Vaughn and

what's his name? Owen Wilson in that movie. Oh boy. Has anybody seen that movie? What was that one called? Maybe The Apprenticeship or The Interns. No. You saw it. Yeah, I saw it. You loved it. Just it's wild.

I don't think I've ever seen a movie where it was financed clearly by Google. And just like it would be going to like see a movie just called like A Fantastic Cola Adventure. And it's just like made by Coke and everything in it is Coke. And it stars, you know, Seth Rogen and James Franco. They just pick two famous co-stars. Yeah. Yeah. And then they just have them go on a cool adventure.

A cool adventure. Well, like, the Disney movies are all like that, basically, because they have a property that they want to sell you in addition to the movie. Right. Right. Like, I mean that after pirates of the Caribbean became a huge hit based on a ride that had no movie. Yeah.

We're like George Clooney and tomorrow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they never did. What, what is the plot of log ride?

Oh yeah. Boom fighters. I, I don't, uh, what is the plot of Log Ride oh yeah Boom Fighters yeah I don't when Pirates of the Caribbean came out I was like this is a foreseeable

like there's at least a plot that kind of baked into it Pirates yeah Tomorrowland less so right I don't know

I don't know I didn't see I tried watching some of it and I was like well this is not for me. Yeah. Yeah. It would be great if you found out that so many movies were based on rides.

Oh, yeah. Dunkirk the ride. So, I had just seen the movie, but my dad was raving about the Cloud Atlas ride. Oh, my God. If it was the reverse, where they were like, we've got a movie coming out. We need to build a ride to sell the movie. That would be something like Cloud Atlas would have its own ride. For sure.

Because, you know, they did that, like, actors and stuff in a water park. The Water World. Is it not still going? I think it's still going. Yeah. Yeah. And it's like, people rave about it. Yeah.

And it's like, yeah, guys, it's like a stunt show. The Water World stunt spectacular. Yeah, yeah. Oh, I love the stunt shows. Have you been? To Universal Studios? Yeah, yeah. Yes, when I was a boy.

When I was but a boy. Did you go on the Jaws? J Yeah, yeah. Yes, when I was a boy. When I was but a boy. Did you go on the Jaws? Jaws, yes. I think Jaws is part of the lot tour, where they take you around, you see Jaws, you see like Earthquake 73, or whatever.

It's like, what movie is this? Hey kids, do you like George Pappard? A lot of that's for the parents. King Kong is King Kong. We can all, even though that was a not out. Would that still be a thing people cared about? Have there not been enough King Kong flops and Godzilla flops in our lifetime? That's a very good question.

That's a good question. So many. Have the flops made the original horrifying? Yeah, yeah. Moot now. the flops made the original horrifying yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a very good question because like watching the original king kong is so bizarre yes because it's this old-timey's claymation yeah yes and i and there was a time when people like that was the the highest special effect that you could have in the world and but now that they have, they can do anything.

Yeah. Yeah. Why do they choose to do that? Yeah. It was kind of like, yeah, it was kind of like a cool idea. Like, yeah, it's a giant ape. They should go back to stop motion and do stop motion apes. Yeah.

Yeah. and do stop motion apes. Yeah. Yeah. Because like the realistic ape in King Kong isn't, like it's not good. Like it's not, you're not like,

oh, finally. Yeah. Like Kong Skull Island. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like you're not, that was never the problem.

Who made the, who made the one with Jack Black? Peter Jackson. Yeah. Peter Jackson. I wanted to say Michelle Gondry, but that would have been like a paper mache oh man

Michelle Gondry is King Kong in like a a boxy robot ape suit yeah he's wearing a hood oh

I love this idea see that's what I would do if I if Star Trek universe existed follow me here and there was the holodeck yeah I'm following. There was the holodeck. Yeah.

I would spend my time in the holodeck like, computer, show me, and I would mash up directors and movies. Show me a sequel of a movie that doesn't, you know, because a computer can show me, and I would do movie mashups. Yeah, yeah. I would get in there and fuck around with films and have a good old time. And I'd probably like spend my life in the holodeck. Yeah, that's the problem.

We need to do something about Ryan. He's addicted to the holodeck. Yeah, he's addicted to the holodeck. spend my life in the holodeck yeah that's the problem we need to do something about rioting yeah he's addicted to the holodeck he's addicted to the holodeck he's not leaving to go to the bathroom so something's in there yeah

but the holodeck can probably take care of that yeah computer deal with my pee and poo right away sir right away sir my pleasure

the horny deck the horny holodeck which is also like Right away, sir. Right away, sir. My pleasure. The horny deck. Horny holiday. Which is also like a scat horny holiday. Yeah. You've turned the safety off. Yeah, you're like, I didn't order this scene to be nude. Oh, I'm sorry.

Oh, excuse me. I thought you'd like it. Okay. What is a sequel that you wish that could never exist? Oh, great question. Well, I mean, we were just talking about, I wouldn't mind seeing Stand By Me. We were just talking about that, right, with Kiefer Sutherland, like see where he went, you know? Oh, just like Stand By Me today?

Yeah. or just following that one following that one character a little bit like off shoot see what his deal is that would be awesome that would be awesome

and his gang of thugs you know yeah maybe one more back to the future yeah put juices left in that lemon

yeah yeah yeah and I'd be like you know computer like I wanted the real like if they did one more back to the future how bad would it be you know

I don't mind if they're bad I would want them to be I want them to the Future how bad would it be you know I don't mind if they're bad I would want them to be I want them to be truthful I would want them yeah another Back to the Future

would be juicy what else is in there I'm just thinking like something where it was like sequel impossible you know like Thelma and Louise

or you know yeah you know King Kong somehow they managed to make sequel after sequel but

Jaws absolutely oraws, Jaws. Or one more Weekend at Bernie's. Weekend at Bernie's 3. Yeah. I mean, you just... Bernie for president. He's still wearing the resort clothes. We gotta get a suit on him.

Move his lips. Free college for everyone. Reach your hand into the back of his head and move his lips. Yeah. That have you seen

both of the Weekend at Bernie? I have. There's only two? I saw the first one in the theater. Maybe. I mean, I. I have. There's only two? There's only two. So there's only two. I saw the first one in the theater. Maybe, I mean, I don't know. Maybe they made it

straight through. The plot of the first one is he's their boss and he dies. Yes. And they have to pretend he's still alive. Correct.

Because he's into some kind of shady bit in the boss. And it also benefits them somehow because maybe if they need Bernie to be like

nympho. Yeah, horny. horny for dead bodies horny holodeck what's that word what's the sex necrophilia

thank you yeah they're both necromancers yeah and the plot of the second one is he gets magically

so now he can move around some kind of curse oh that's right he gets like it's a voodoo yeah yes it's not The second one is... He gets magically, so now he can move around. Some calypso music. Some kind of curse. Oh, that's right. He gets like it's a voodoo thing. Yes, it's not. And the music makes him get up and dance.

So now he can move on his own. How much time has passed between them? A day. Okay. So like, yeah. So even though the movie came out years after the first one, in the movie, in universe, it's just been like a week or a day or two.

What's the movie where Kid and Play have a house party? It's called... Born Yesterday. It's the only funny, you know, when people on Twitter do like wrong answers only, they put a picture of Kid and Play and somebody wrote adult and serious. That's good.

Did you watch any of the house party films no I watched house party I watched house party yeah I think there was

three of them yeah and that was how much time passed between those ooh enough time I think they had to clean up

the house I think kid loses his trademark hair eventually he goes to a bit more of a reasonable haircut yeah it's more reasonable yeah it still looked great but it's reasonable yeah and the first more of a reasonable haircut it's just more reasonable

it still looked great but it's reasonable yeah the first one's got some interesting shots in it actually it was kind of interesting

it wasn't as I thought it was going to be like wackier I mean it's wacky it's wacky there's none it was my intro

to Martin Lawrence yes exactly he's got bad breath right? that's his problem his character has constant bad breath and he's the DJ?, right? That's his problem. His character has bad, constant bad breath. Yeah.

He's the DJ. He's the DJ. Yes. But like the plot of it is just that they have a house party. Yes. Yes. And there's a lot of people trying to like, well, um, the main plot is that kid is grounded and he has to get to the house party.

Yes. They're teenagers. I see. And so that's kind of like the main plot. So he summons a genie played by Sinbad. Summons. So then they're teenagers in this. Correct.

Because I've always thought of kid in play as being adult. Yes, absolutely. And they are. And they were. I do like the idea. I also thought of Will Smith always as a grown up, even when he was talking about how parents don't understand. Yeah. I'm a teenager in Bel Air with a full mustache.

That's true. It was the mustache. And just, you know what? The confidence with which he walked. But that was sitcoms, right? No one was, everyone was an adult. Yeah. Like, you know, it seemed in the playing. Like. But that was sitcoms, right? Everyone was an adult. Yeah. Like, you know, it seemed in the playing.

Like, how old was, well, Jaleel White. He might have been Urkel's age. He might have been Urkelite. Yeah, because he definitely grew. Yes, he did. He did. We watched him grow. Watched him grow up into Stefan.

And he also. Robot Urkel. Were there other Urkels? there was robot robot Stefan and I feel like there's another there was like

some sort of like kung fu Urkel oh sure yeah something there's something that doesn't well he definitely Urkel would like

take on like he he infiltrated a gang of course there was that's a sitcom where the original premise

was ditched yeah pretty quick this shit up yeah that should be what you call it when a sitcom does that instead of jumping the shark this show has been well like jumping the shark means that they've run out of ideas yeah when oracle shows up it's just getting good. Yeah, now it's cooking. Now it's cooking. We figured out the recipe. Here we go. Because, bye kids.

My whole family just became the Carl and Urkel. Yeah. And they'd be like, oh, I don't care who owns a restaurant now. I don't care. Go back to, give me Carl and Urkel.

And also, Carl, at the outset of the show was a cop, and then you never saw him in a police uniform ever again he was just a guy hugging around the house yep

and his wife was the elevator operator for Larry and Balky Larry and Balky what what in the universe did that take place? Did she use an elevator operator?

I don't know. I think that's what she was. Yeah. No, that all tracks. It's all very. Huh. And then famously on the show, the young. Daughter.

The young daughter went upstairs, never came back down. They just wrote her out of the show. Yeah. They also wrote, pretty much wrote Eddie out of the show. They also wrote, pretty much wrote, Eddie out of the show. Older brother Eddie. What was Eddie,

did Eddie have a thing? Was he like, was he mischievous? Was he like, maybe a little dumb? Was he a bit dumb? He was dumb and pretty, maybe?

He was kind of cool. He was cool. He played on the basketball team. He had his own car. Yeah, had his own car. Laura was their sister. Who? Laura was the object of Urkel's effect. Yeah, she was a did Urkel In one episode Yeah had his own car Laura was the Other sister

Who? Laura was the object Of Urkel's effects Yeah she was a cheerleader In that one episode I remember You remember Do you ever do those

Book things Where you order books As a kid Like the scholastic book Yeah yeah And you would like You would get to choose Ten books

I remember I got A Urkel book Because I was like Grade four And in the Urkel book It was full of Terrible advice Like it was full of Urkel book because I was like grade four. And in the Urkel book, it was full of terrible advice. It was for like Urkel's biography for kids. And I remember one chapter was like, you need to find your Laura.

It was like basically telling me I need to find a woman to be obsessed with. Terrible advice. I could just see your parents giving you the money. So right. There's all sorts of classics in here you could have ordered, but you ordered Urkel book. I ordered that and an Urkel cookbook, yes. What was in the cookbook?

No, there was no cookbook. There was no cookbook. It was just a how to be Urkel. Couldn't wait. Well, they definitely had like a lot when you said when you started saying that

I was like oh did they have they basically had the equivalent of Sweet Valley High but just full house books yes oh yeah

absolutely but did they do that with Urkel did they have little Urkel stories like side stories if they did I would have bought it

so I don't know it didn't show up in my book Degrassi did that as well oh yeah Degrassi books collected them for a time oh nice

had a whole set gave it away you know there's a time for everything exactly someone else should enjoy it yeah but now I'm on the hunt

for this Urkel book yeah it was just it was just like printed on the cheapest paper either how to be an Urkel or like my outlook on life as Urkel. When your parents went to a bookstore, did you always go directly to the humor section?

To the Urkel aisle? I would go to the humor section and then, you know, time allowing, wherever the sex section was. Oh, boy. Time allowing. Okay, seems like we got about 10 minutes left. My parents seem to be over there. Yeah, looking at an atlas. I looked at all the far sides.

Yeah, exactly. Time to go see if they have one erotic book that's been unwrapped so that you can read it. Oh, boy. Yeah, I would go to the humor section. It was always dominated by the far side. Dave Barry. Dave Barry.

Dave Barry. Calvin and Hobbes, maybe. Sure. Those big Calvin and Hobbes. And then Irma Bombeck. Okay. I remember going to garage sales and always looking for little comic books or whatever, and she was kind of like little comic books or whatever and she was

like a kind of like a like a kathy like a writer like she wrote like the the troubles with my in-laws yeah i know the name yeah yeah but like every time that i went to a garage sale or anything like that always irma bomback like. Yeah, priced to sell. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Irma Bob. Rob. Bombeck.

Bombeck. Irma Bombeck. Yeah, don't remember. Just remember seeing that over and over again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then like sometimes you'd find like, yeah, like a TV tie in like, you know, the world according to the font. Yeah. Or like.

Wow, there's six? You might be a redneck books. Oh, yeah. Like they made another one? Who? The audience can't read. They're not smarter than a fifth grader. Fox Worthy is a big fan of the show.

And we love you. We love you, Fox. Of course. Of course. Yeah. He knows. It's ribbing. Yeah. Of course, of course. Yeah. He knows. It's ribbing. Yeah, we're just ribbing.

He got a sitcom, right? Probably. Like, sort of based on You Might Be a Redneck, but it was just like him, and maybe he was kind of like touching on him doing that comedy. I don't know if it was kind of like a Seinfeld type thing. Foxworthy. I think he had a show. He kind of like a Seinfeld type thing. Hmm. Foxworthy. I think he had a show.

He had a family. He's a family man. Yeah. Loosely based around the joke premise you might be hearing. Yeah, yeah. Like,

he was not a redneck himself, or maybe he was a little bit. Yeah, yeah. And that's okay. And that's okay. Game recognized game. That's okay. It is okay.

Dave, what's going on with you man Oh well the reason we couldn't think of Dunkirk is because Yesterday I saw 1917 Have you seen it? I have not seen it yet It's one long shot

I didn't know that it was I mean I knew that Going into it but Maybe I'm in a vacuum here But I don't think enough was made of the fact that it's just one long shot. Yeah. Right. I mean, it's a bunch of long shots. Yeah.

Right. You can see where they probably edited it. Right. Yeah. Big explosion here. Yeah. Good time to edit. Oh, they're going into a very dark trench.

Okay. The other, like, what was that one? Birdman. That was supposed to be all one shot. Oh, yeah. The other Like What was that one Burn Man That was supposed to be All one shot Oh yeah The Undone the Sweater Song Music video

Oh yeah The Spice Girls Wannabe video The beginning of So I Married an Axe Murderer With the coffee Oh Oh right

Yeah Yeah the big long scene In Goodfellas Where they get a table Up front Yeah Let's see Good long shot Yeah A lot of The West Wing Yeah The Walk and Talk in Goodfellas where they get a table up front. Yeah. Yeah. Let's see.

Good long shot. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of the West Wing. Yeah. The Walkin' Togs. And of course, that shootout in True Detective Season 1.

Yes. Yes. And Children of Men. Oh, yeah. Was 1917 good? Oh, yeah. It was good. Yeah.

Not too long. Oh, no? Two hours. Nice. yeah, it was good. Not too long. Oh, no? Two hours. Nice. Two hours is now short. Two hours is now the standard, yeah. Like, if finding a movie that's an hour and a half, it would have to be like a wacky kids movie.

And even then. Cats was an hour 50, and I was like, this is a breeze. Did you love it? I did. Yeah. I did. I did. Cats was the first play I ever went to as a child. So I was prepared for what

madness awaited. Yeah, I thought it was good. When you were a young child, who was your favorite of the Cats? I liked Macavity. The bad guy. Yeah, he was pretty cool. He's quite a cool song. I liked Macavity, of course. The bad guy, Macavity. Yeah, he was pretty cool. It was quite a cool song. I liked whoever sang Magical Mr. Mistoffelees,

because I believe in the play, Mistoffelees doesn't sing his own songs. Oh, right. He sings it about him. Right. And then everyone sings it. And then everyone sings it, yes. Yeah.

Whoever sang that song, I liked, because I liked that song. Does he something the thing with the thing and the thing? Does he do the thing? He's the thing and the guy? I think that's Macavity. You ought to ask. Mr. Mistoffelees, the original Conjuring Cat.

And we all say, he is quiet, he is small, he is black. That's it. From the ears to the tip of his tail. But in the movie, it was like, I am quiet, I am small, I am black. Right, right, right. From my ears to the tip of my tail. I was thinking of a different song. Yeah.

You were thinking of the Macavity song, which Taylor Swift sings, doesn't she? No, I was thinking of Jellicle Cats. No, Jellicle Cats. Actually, my overheard today is from my cat security. Well, let's wait. Not now, Ryan. No, no, no. Ryan, no.

I'm just teasing it. I'm just teasing it. Yeah, so like two hours. Filmmakers, take note. Yeah, come on. Two hours, take note. Yeah, come on. Two hours, top, top. Yeah, and give me a few hour and a half. Character-based romps.

Yeah, just. Give me an 85-minute joke-filled comedy. Yeah, come on. Also, like, you can't get a comedy anymore. When's all, there's no comedy. Yeah. Like, it used to be, remember, like every month there'd be like a new comedy? Yeah.

And now it's like, there's no, Dana Carvey in Clean Slate. Clean Slate. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. Those were the movies I rented all like summer long.

I saw a thing about how there was a scheduling conflict and someone posted a thing from like variety magazine in 1992 or whatever and it was like bad boys the original bad boys they might have to uh they might not be able to shoot it with its stars dana carvey and john lovett because uh shooting has been delayed and danavey has to do Wayne's World 2 soon. And so they went a completely different direction. Wow. I wouldn't say completely. Yeah, you're right.

Lovitz still. They were both. Which one was the Lovitz and which was the Carvey? I don't know. I've never seen Bad Boys. Really? Yeah. Me neither.

No? I have not. I didn't think I'd be in a room and be the only one've never seen Bad Boys. Really? Yeah. Me neither. No? I have not. I didn't think I'd be in a room and be the only one that had seen Bad Boys. I never thought that in my entire life I'd be in a room. Bad Boys and Bad Boys 2. Bad Boys 2 is one of the classics where the sequel's better than the... I think it said something about one of them's a bachelor and one of them's a family man. Yes.

I think John Lovitz was the family man. Or the bachelor. Martin Lawrence is the family man will smith is the bachelor right uh because of circumstances they have to they have to switch places right and uh that's and the the comedy of the action ensues because right a family man doesn't know anything about single guy stuff exactly no but he was born and raised to family man and vice versa yeah exactly yeah but a family man says he was nine you know that's like uh the movie uh beverly hillscop uh-huh uh was originally the eddie murphy film it was originally written with sylvester stallone in mind i love it sy. Sylvester Stallone read the script. He was like, this is too silly. Rewrote the script.

He went away from the project. That script ended up being Cobra. And then Beverly Hills Cop reverted to its funny origin and then became an Eddie Murphy joint. Yeah. And also, not that funny. No, but he puts like a banana in a tail.

You can't see Sylvester Stallone getting up to that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I mean, he flexes comedy muscle and stuff where my mom will shoot. And Oscar. Yeah, oh, Oscar. I loved Oscar. Really? I was a boy.

I loved that movie. Was he a gangster? He was a gangster who was trying to go straight. And everything just doesn't go right for him the day he's trying to go straight and everything just doesn't go it just doesn't go right for him the day he's trying to go straight and this is the thing there's no that movie coming out no there's no there is no jason statham and there's no just silly movies where he's just being a silly please make me more silly movies turn them out i so i i guess i don't really watch netflix very much uh my family does but yeah i the other day i opened up my account and i was like continue

watching and had three options of things to continue watching when was the crown okay one was i don't remember uh what the second one was but the third one was the Gene Wilder, Richard Pryor movie, See No Evil, Hear No Evil. Oh, yes, please. And I was like, uh-oh. I bet continue watching means I fast-forwarded to the shower scene to see if I remembered it right. That Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor movies

like where they teamed up because there's one called what are what are all the what are the other ones there's another you yeah there's a one called

Silver Streak Silver Streak no Blue Streak is Martin Lawrence that's right and then there's one called Stir Crazy

yeah Stir Crazy yeah and they're all the same kind of plots where it's like two very silly men get in a crazy circle. Well, see no evil, hear no evil. One of them is blind and one of them is deaf.

Correct. Richard Pryor is blind. Because he doesn't know he's black. Yes, there's that scene on the train when he's gone his entire life and he's managed to either just get up and go to the bathroom when it was discussed with his family

or whatever. He's an adult. An adult who has never been told that information. Like a 65 year old man. But just like Is there just no room in the

because is the dramedy just like supplanted where this crazy comedy. Cause I've never, I have not heard like there must be, there must still be like, because they, they still do. Do they still do up until recently they were doing like spoof movies.

Yeah. Yeah. I want like, yeah. Like I'm zany mad cat. Yeah. Like, like,

like this slate was like, like ski patrol.cap. Yeah, like Clean Slate was like memento but funny. Yeah. Or something that doesn't have famous people in it. Yeah. Like Ski Patrol. Yeah, Ski Patrol was

a barren wasteland of stars. A romp. What was the one about moving where they have to move across country and that's I mean it's called moving. And they're like

piloting RC racers out the window. Yeah, yeah. I like RC. Where are all the RC racer movies? And there're like piloting RC racers out the window. Yeah, yeah. I like RC. Where are all the RC racer movies? And there's like no traffic. Yeah, well. These things don't get run over.

That's such a silly premise. Yeah, and like, you know, there was like. Or all the John Candy movies, you know. Yeah, or like. Who is Harry Crumb. Cannonball Run. Cannonball Run, yep. All these like weird. like um or all the john candy movies you know yeah or like who is harry cannonball run or cannonball run yeah all these like weird i think you'll find that they probably do exist we just don't like you just don't really want to see them yeah they are people are still making these

but what like what's the last like craze like when i when i talk about crazy comedy is like like a high concept like a man who's, uh, you know, like Teen Wolf. It's Teen Wolf. Get made. The one that I'm thinking of, did they ever make a movie that was about a school for scoundrels?

I think all, like all the ones of the two thousands of just like, um, anything with Seth Rogen and James Franco and the aforementioned John Heater. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They were all pretty. But then I feel like, yeah, I don't know what's this generation's Napoleon Dynamite. Like, is it TikTok?

It's TikTok. It's TikTok. It's HBO's euphoria when you said high concept based on a ride yes when you said high concept comedy the like most recent example and this is from 15 years ago but that one where uh danny mcbride and maybe james franco are like uh in like the medieval times and they're high on drugs oh yeah and i believe it was called your highness yeah this is exactly what i'm talking about yeah i like yeah this is good that's good that's good stuff and then there was like a michael cera oh, maybe Michael Cera was in that one. Well, he was in one with Jack Black where it was also...

Year one. Year one. Year one, yes. Year one. Year one. So they're still making them. They're still out there. They're still making them as of 2008.

Yeah. Okay. Fair enough. There was also a time when people were obsessed with... Well, you got Sandler, too. He's still doing... He's still turning on Yes

Turning on Zany There we go Where he played his sister Yeah And the one where he The statutory rape one Where he's He fathers a child

When he's like 11 or 12 And then he Really? And then he comes back Yeah it's called That's my boy That's my boy Oh

There's a scene Where he's seen having sex with his adult teacher yeah it's so problematic it's so problematic why because there's no problem with me imagining that adam sandler is uh what's his name andy sandberg said yeah that's fine that's like you didn't need to make all the time fine. They do that all the time. Accurate. Yeah. They do that all the time where like the father and son or mother and son are eight years apart

in real life. Yeah. Like Sally Field played Tom Hanks' love interest in Punchline. Yeah, why don't we just He's an obnoxious father shows up.

We don't need to have this like yeah, this icky back. There was also a time where it was like there were some like I'm clumming together a bunch in my head that are like, no strings attached or like friends with benefits. Friends with benefits. With just like Ashton Kutcher or Justin Timberlake or Mila Kunis or someone, Natalie Portman or some combination of those people.

Yeah. Can they be friends and have sex? Yeah. Yeah. Some combination of those people. Yeah. Can they be friends and have sex? Yeah. And then there were like, Zack and Miri made a porno, and Mike and Dave need wedding dates or whatever. Is that also? Yeah.

And the sex tape one. Ryan's into it. Yeah, I remember. So there's enough. Yeah, maybe. So hey, listeners, we've listed a bunch of movies. Yes. so there's there's enough yeah maybe so hey listeners we've listed a bunch of movies

yes because I saw 1917 and I got my ticket it was a 4.30 showing I got my ticket I was like 1917

this movie doesn't serve for three more hours that's my little bit I was going to do nice military time 24 hour clock.

What's up with you? This past weekend I went to our province's capital, Victoria. Victoria, BC. Can you name all the capitals? Victoria, BC.

Uh-huh. Edmonton, Alberta. Uh-huh. Regina, Saskatchewan. Yep. Then we have, we would have Winnipeg, Manitoba. Sure.

Toronto, Ontario. That's right. Then we move into, well, Charlnipeg, Manitoba, Toronto, Ontario. That's right. Then we move into, well, Charlottetown, PEI. We skipped Quebec. Okay. That's Quebec City, Quebec. Yeah. Then we go to St. John's, Newfoundland.

Mm-hmm. Right? And then, is it Fredericton, New Brunswick? Yes. Okay. Halifax, Nova Scotia. Is it Halifax? I think it's Halifax.

It's usually the biggest city in Canada as opposed to the states where it's like, the capital of New York has got to be New York City, right? Nope, it's Albany. Okay, can you do the three territories? Oh, I always mix up

Yellowknife, Whitehorse, and I do not know what is Nunavut's. Oh, sorry. Oh, it happened after elementary school, so you don't know it. Yes. Ithacalowicz? Ithacalowicz. Ah, thank you after elementary school, so you don't know it. Yes. A Callowit?

It's a Callowit. Ah, thank you very much. Good job. Yeah. Now, can you do the 50 state capitals? Yes. California, Sacramento, Washington, Olympia. New York Albany.

New York Albany. I know. Graham, go ahead. I went over there. My parents were over there. My brother and his wife and their new baby were over there. So I went over. This is a tiny baby?

This is a tiny baby. Not a full grown. Not a full grown gooey man. Faustino baby. And I went over. Victoria is a very, a lot of retirees live in Victoria. So the idea of going for dinner

at 5 p.m. was not off the table. Yeah. Right. So that is what happened. We went to go to a place at 5.30 to eat dinner and there was already a lineup down the block.

And every place that we passed on the walk over to that place, jammed. Yeah. Jam-packed. 5.30 p.m. 5.30 is the time. So we ended up at like, we went to like a pub restaurant, and I ordered the like, what I thought was like just a pint.

Yeah. But when they brought it over, it was like, look at one of those Vegas. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It was like just a pint. But when they brought it over, it was like, look, one of those Vegas. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It was like a yard. A yard long margarita. Did it have like a shoulder strap? So you can take it out on the strip.

Yeah. So I had that and then everything. Did it quiet the restaurant? Did everyone kind of look at it as it was being brought over? Yeah. Da-da, da-da, da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Da-da-da-da-da-da. Dance around the yard.

Dance around the yard. But they brought it over and then I also, because the menu, there was nothing, there was like, I could eat the flatbread. So that's what I ordered

was the flatbread. And then, but I kept ordering every time she came over, she was like, another one of these hilarious pints? And I was like, I could eat the flatbread. So that's what I ordered was the flatbread. And, and then, but I kept ordering every time she came over, she was like, another one of these hilarious pints. And I was like,

why not? Did she say it was hilarious? Well, maybe I inserted the word hilarious. But then, after like three of those and just a flatbread,

upon leaving the place, I was like, oh, I'm drunk. And it's 6.30 p.m. Yeah. leaving the place, I was like, oh, I'm drunk. And it's 6.30 p.m. Yeah.

So then I was like, well, we're in for a penny, in for a pound. Let's just keep this train a-rolling. Fantastic. And what did the baby do during this? The baby loved it. I was pulling faces. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So that's my duty, is to pull

faces, you know. And then eventually everybody went to bed. This is about, I'm going to say about 930 now. Oh, wow. Late night. Yeah. And so continued drinking, but then needed to- Where did you stay?

My parents were staying at an Airbnb, and I stayed at a hotel kind of around the corner. Oh, nice. The Empress? Yeah, I stayed at a hotel kind of around the corner. Oh, nice. The Empress? Yeah, I stayed at the Empress. I had tea brought up to my room. Yeah, you were there with Meghan and Harry. Oh, boy. Boy, oh, boy.

They're caught in that fever right now. Your family? No, Victoria. Oh, yeah. Man, Victoria's like. They love the monarchy. They are creaming their royal genes over the idea of possibly royals living in their city they've rolled like because it's a for listeners who've never been it's a city

that's very british and it's presentation a lot of everything is the ye olde royal whatever double decker buses double decker buses uh it's like just um caramel shops on every corner yeah it is yeah

it's very like and tea rooms like there's a lot of tea rooms and uh miniature world pubs yeah miniature world

don't get more British than that yeah British love a miniature world so uh at one point

I went to a 7-Eleven to buy food to eat because I was like oh I still have only just eaten a flatbread 7-Eleven

which in England is a fortnight yes yes so you bought some crisps I bought some crisps I bought some

taffies at a compa yep and when I gave my stuff to the guy behind the counter

he rang it up and the total was 7-11 and I lost my mind you should get it free yeah I was like ding ding ding ding I was like

isn't this great isn't this fantastic and the guy couldn't I'm not even sure he knew where he worked yeah no

nothing yeah exactly it says I owe a circle K. Like, it doesn't get better than that.

That your total is 7-Eleven at 7-Eleven. What's with all the 7-Elevens closing here? Yeah, I think they're...

And then all the Maxes are closing and becoming circle K's. Yeah, circle K's, yeah. Yeah,

that is what is going on. Yeah. We're... Why is 7-Eleven abandoning Vancouver? I feel like a lot of convenience stores Yeah, that is what is going on. Yeah. We're... Why is 7-Eleven abandoning Vancouver? I feel like a lot of convenience stores, you know, if they're not owned by, like, Omega,

I think Circle K is owned by, like, Nestle or something like that. Right, right. And, like, 7-Eleven was the scrappy. I would have thought they were the... The mega. Yeah. But they were the scrappy. Yeah, well, it's like, you know, your Coke and Pepsi, red and blue. Yeah.

Red and blue, Coke and Pepsi. Yeah. Mega and Scrappy. When you were a kid, your brother picked 7-Eleven because he assumed they were the default. Exactly. And I went to Max. Couch Tard. Couch Tard.

Yeah. So, you know, that was my big event that i bought something at 7-eleven but also i was pissed drunk yeah that's why it had more meaning to you yeah yeah yeah and uh and you know what uh i do it all over again as uh as someone with dietary restrictions how often how many nights a week do you end up going to somewhere for a snack dinner oh snack dinner um i'm assuming that's what you got at 7-eleven you didn't get the jimmy chongas no no oh yeah what did you get so uh maybe people could recreate the 7-eleven if they uh oh i i bought uh i bought condoms i bought condoms, a home enema kit,

a public enema kit. Public enema number one. Fight the power. Frenemas. Yeah, a bunch of porn magazines because I don't have the internet. A CNN in my eye. That's for the water. Yeah.

Yeah, that's when you're on a kayak trip. I got a Rice Krispie Square. Yeah. Oh, okay. I got like a cup of candy. So they don't have loose candy anymore, but you can get it in a cup. Yeah. It's like a mixed mixed cup of candy yeah i got a mixed cup of candy that was my dinner meal all done rice crispy

squares the marshmallows are not meat-based oh i was too drunk to yeah i don't know get into that i don't know what a marshmallow is yeah there might There might be gluten in there. Or pork gelatin or something like that. Something, maybe. Yeah. Anyways, not the best. It's the gelatin, not the gluten, excuse me. Not the best meal I ever had. But not the worst.

Yeah. No. Absolutely. Three beers. Oh, no, it was more. Because after everybody went to bed at 9.30, I continued down this road. Here we go. I'm in another land as far as I'm concerned.

Beautiful. I had to get on a ferry to go there. Yeah. So it does. It feels like. You're like on vacation. It feels like a trip more so than. And it takes as long to get there with the ferry and everything as it would take you to get to.

Toronto. Yeah. It's an all day experience. Yeah. Somehow eats up your entire day. Yeah. So. Leaves you tired. as it would take you to get to Toronto. It's an all-day experience. Somehow eats up your entire day. Leaves you tired. Oh, yeah. It does leave you tired. Yeah, he didn't row there, but the whole thing is this.

It's a lot to do. Change seats five times. None of the seats are very comfortable if you're sitting up on the ferry. No. And they still, oddly, still have the arcade. Yes. And every time I've been past the arcade in the last, say, three years, the only people playing it are adults.

Yep. That are rediscovering the fun of playing it. Yes. Kids couldn't be less interested. My kids are very interested in it, but I won't. You won't let them? Well, it's like, I couldn't think of a bigger waste of money. For one thing, the game's awesome.

They're not going to pass Golden Axe. The idea of it is fascinating to them, but they wouldn't. Too young to do any driving, to reach the pedals on those things. Yes, yes. The games are all, they're not a quarter anymore. No, they're not. They're like a loonie, right? Maybe more?

Maybe more. Yeah. And I haven't been in, like, very many Walmarts since moving, because there's not a Walmart in the city. Oh, come with me. Oh, go with you. Absolutely. Take a lot of trips to Walmart.

But there's, they sell these like half size arcade game. Like they look like the exact same thing. Right. It would be like you would put it in your garage. Oh I see. Like a little cabinet. Like a small cabinet. But it's just the one game. It's just Ninja Turtles or The Simpsons. Like a game that would have existed in the arcade.

That's something for like a fun open concept office. A couple of shows. Yeah. Do you want to? I did go to Walmart a few weeks ago and it was very depressing. Is it? Yeah. I just went in to have my photo taken for a boudoir. For a boudoir series I'm doing.

Good for you. Thank you. But I was told that. Full figured man. When I told people it was depressing, they were like, oh, yeah, that's a bad one. But there's good ones. Are there good ones? The one I was in seemed good.

It had those video game things. Yeah. It had a greeter. Okay. Yeah. Which I thought that they had all but done away with. But there was a greeting. There was a greeter.

Okay, good. Yeah. Good. Robot's not taking that job. I mean a robot. Welcome. Robot dude. Greetings.

Greetings. Greetings. Greetings. Greetings. Greetings. Beauty human. Robot dude. Greetings. Greetings. Greetings. Greetings. Greetings. Beauty human. Greetings. Can you make them nicer?

No, we can't. We can't. It's either they're either mean and efficient or nice and bad at their job. Yeah. We haven't figured out how to make a nice, good robot. Every time we replace the one microchip, it just cancels out the other. Oh, boy. a nice good robot every time we replace the one microchip it just cancels out the other oh boy do we want to move on to some

overheard I love it oh overheard overheard is a segment that we cannot wait to get to

Ryan was jumping the gun yeah I've been ruining this left right and, and center. But it's a segment where you hear things, share things, and then you care things. Those are the rules. Beautiful.

We always like to start with the guest, Ryan. This is kind of momentous for me because I often forget. And sometimes I have to like, we're at a restaurant together. I'm like, you guys order first, and by the time it gets around to me, I'll know what I want. So I remembered to remember this time. It's not the best. But you know, it's here. It's loaded.

And so I mentioned I went and saw the movie Cats. Yes. Had a good time in Cats. And for my partner and I, Lily Beaudoin. Hi, Lily Beaudoin. Hello, Lily. Local actress. Yes.

We were very excited because we were late to the game and we were there close to when it was coming up, the movie, and we were the only

ones in the theater, which is always fun. We were going to talk through this like crazy. So it's cats. Yeah. But then another

couple showed up and then a family showed up with cats. Oh, wow. So that's off the table now. Now we just have to watch Cats quietly. But, you know,

in the, the kids started talking almost immediately. The movie could not hold their attention and it was, it was, there's not,

they're asking questions and so. That's probably the adults also. Yeah, one of the movie answers a lot of questions. And so you know how, a ton of questions

if you have the right ones that's right yeah you have the right questions it's like talking to Buddha or something yes

okay but talking all the way through and you know how the whole thing it centers around maybe you don't they say jellicle

all the things jellicle cat this jellicle cat this I'm going to be the jellicle thing the jellicle ball and so the whole thing is the jellicle choice and this, I'm going to be the Jellicle thing, the Jellicle ball. And so the whole thing is the Jellicle choice.

And, um, uh, old Deuteronomy makes you are my Jellicle choice. And one of the kids stood up and went, Jellicle what? And the best part, cause they were just,

I was like, I'm with you kid. Like you're right. Jellicle who? Jellicle. It's like, what is Jellicle? Like he couldn't take it anymore.

And like, they were talking The whole way through And the It was That came It elicited a shush From

The other couple And I was like Oh that's They're watching That revealed to me That they They wanted to watch Cats Yes

It was like Oh you're gonna shush Cats I think you go to Cats Cause you want The It's a free horror picture. Yeah.

Yeah. What's going to happen now? That was fun in the play. What, what signifies the, the, the cat who's been selected, not going to spoil it.

Yeah. But what signifies going to heaven? Yeah. In the play. Cause staircase comes down and there's a, it's like a fine fan, shiny staircase. movie- Staircase comes down. Staircase. And it's like a shiny staircase. There's a lot of fog machine. Right.

And they literally ascend on the staircase to heaven. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I believe. I believe. Is this a good idea? Yeah.

A band called My Jellicle Romance? Yes. Yes. It's a very good idea. And it would be like My Chemical Romance, but with a bit more eye makeup. Yeah, a bit more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A bit more.

So why not just, and is this a cover band? They cover. I guess they do. They cover My Chemical Romance. And cat songs. And cat songs in the style of My Chemical Romance. Fuck, this is a really good idea. This is an idea that got just better by degree.

Yeah. Yeah, I like it a lot. You just got Urkled, I'll tell you that. Yeah. So we urkeled up a notch. Dave, do you have an overheard? Mine is, we had, last week it was very snowy here in Vancouver. Yes, it was.

And so I was trudging through the snow, made it to my office, opened the door to the office building. And the guy in front of me was on the phone and there's like a event company in my building, I think. And, uh, he was on the phone and he said, yeah, we have a tasting with you today and tomorrow. And our brand ambassador called in saying he's a little under the weather with all the snow. And then he paused for a while and he said, well,

that's how he worded it. Cause I think the other guy was like, under the weather is, there's nothing to do with the weather. Yeah. Yeah. That's not how you use that. You don't catch a cold from snow.

Yeah. Cause we are all, we're all technically all under the weather. Yeah. The weather is constantly falling on us. Yeah. Um yeah um well that's how we worded it yeah i mean either he's sick or he can't get here but he's snowed under yeah either way he's not here for your tasting yeah um you've you've got to figure out what notes are in yeah Yeah. From our brand ambassador. So, uh, it's going to be like, just let me give you the shorthand on these notes.

Yeah. It's like a hard iced tea. Just like a boozy iced tea. There's notes of lemon. Um, uh, my overheard is a courtesy of that ferry ride over to Victoria or coming back from Victoria. Um, uh, my overheard is a courtesy of that ferry ride over to Victoria or coming back from Victoria. Um, there was some football game that was being played that afternoon.

It was the Sunday. Yeah. So like, but a big football game. It was the, uh, conference finals. Conference finals. So the fairy folk, in their kind wisdom, assigned a particular part of the fairy where they were going to be showing the football game. Right. And they made an announcement. And you could tell the exact moment when the person making the announcement decided to improv a little.

Oh, yeah, yeah. So the announcement was, you know, anybody who's interested in watching the football game today, we are playing it on the fifth deck out the front. There's a TV there, and that's where everybody will be joining together to watch the football game. And while you're there, you could buy a hot dog. They're good. And that was the end of the announcement. Very good. They're good. And that was the end of the announcement. They're good. They're good.

He had so much more planned. He lost it. I thought it was going to be something of like, now we don't want the boat to tip over when we all run over there. No, it was just like, he just suddenly got the urge to plug this hot dog. I've had the urge to plug a hot dog.

That's like... Up the old... You don't necessarily... Pachute. I guess all sports kind of go with hot dogs, but football isn't like... Yeah. I would, you know... Baseball, of course.

Baseball. Baseball's more of a hot dog. So maybe that's what kind of went into his mind. Ryan, do you... You gave up your season tickets to the Vancouver Canadiens. Last year, I didn't do it willingly. I did it for the financial constraints. what kind of went to his mind. Ryan, do you, you gave up your season tickets to the Vancouver Canadiens. Last year, I didn't do it willingly. I did it for the financial constraints.

No one said you did. I struggled with it. I was just, we were talking about lean years for actors. Last year was just one of those years where I was close but no cigar and a lot of stuff. Right. And how's this year looking for baseball? Baseball is looking good. I'll tell you, yeah, baseball is looking good. Okay. And how's this year looking for baseball? Baseball is looking good. I'll tell you, yeah.

Baseball is looking good. Okay. Are you going for spring training this year? I am desperate to go to spring training. I haven't been down. I'm a big Chicago Cubs fan. And my parents also have, they're snowbirds as we call them up here.

They're cactus league? Yeah, my parents play in the cactus league. My mom's a top pitching prospect in the Los Angeles Angels system. Boy, pitchers and catchers have to show up. They've got to report soon. Yeah. And my dad, of course, is the San Diego Chicken. I wish.

Oh, boy. I wish. That's where you get your comedy chops. Yes, exactly. Listen, I've seen the San Diego Chicken twice. He's very funny. Yeah. He's a wonderful part of our heritage.

How does he compare to Max Patkin, the clown prince of baseball? I don't know. That's hard. That's apples and tomatoes. Oh, yeah. But, yes, I love spring training. I like because it's like a Star Trek convention for baseball because it's only like the nerdiest people travel.

They're the biggest fans. There's a lot of old men getting young 20-year-olds to sign their gloves. Yeah, sure. That's my kind of place. How were you so excited when Larry Walker got named to the Hall of Fame? I was pretty excited, actually. I was pretty excited. I was excited.

I think he's a good guy. He was one of my faves. He's from Maple Ridge, right? Yeah. Local boy. Played for the Spos. The Spos and the Rocks. But he's entering as a Rock.

He played 10 years there, yeah. I think that's where he won his MVP title as well when he was a Rocky. 1997, maybe? I don't know. Well, I can't confirm or deny. Me neither. Okay. Well, we all like baseball.

I like basketball. It's my favorite sport. I love it when they dribble up and down the court. Just like I'm the king on the microphone. So let's talk today and Moses Malone. There you go. Thank you. My favorite play is the alley-oop.

Something, something, something, something, something hoop. Yeah. Yep. I bounce the ball into the hoop. The floor is made

of a kind of wood. If you don't like basketball, maybe you should. Damn, Curtis Blow You rule You rule When you take a break

You can sit on the bench If you play too much Your feet get a stench Rap was not hard No No not You know what He made it look easy

Exactly Now we also have Overheard Sent in from people all over the map. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximafun.org. Yeah, these are sent in from the Cactus League, the Grapefruit League. I love it. This is talking to a bunch of folks geared up for the Chiefs playoff football game.

That's probably what was on your ferry. I bet. I never went to go check. I bet. Somebody saying, the Red Sox, man, they're going to fucking, it's going to be like the Lakers and the Clippers, like what Obama did to America. I don't know where they're going with that.

It's all over the map there. I think a sign of hope. Yes. Yes. Yes, we can. Yes, we can. Right, right. With him.

Be sure. With him. I like Ike. Yeah. Tricky Dicky. Yeah. That was a bad one. Why did we adopt that as part of our campaign? Dickie. Yeah. That was a bad one.

Why did we adopt that as part of our campaign? Does the cat's movie have the same poster as the musical with the two eyes? No. No, I don't believe so. The movie has her in the street. In a gold. Oh, I was thinking she's in the gold thing. Oh, in the moon? Yeah.

Who's she? Taylor Swift? No, the white cat. Victoria. Victoria. Yeah. She's like a gold. Looks all golden. Right. In the moon Who's she? Taylor Swift? No the white cat Victoria Victoria Yeah she's Like a gold Looks all golden

Right I only ask that Because your shirt You have a Batman logo On your shirt Yeah Because you're a podcaster That's true

And it's so faded I thought it might be The eyes from the cat's shirt It varies It's like And this is from It does look like cat 1989

So it's like Authentically faded And Has holes in it as well. Beautiful. Oh, boy, a 31-year-old shirt. Yeah, pretty good. Still, it's, you know what? It's age-appropriate.

It's old enough to, yeah, exactly. It's age-appropriate for me. It's old enough to be Andy Samberg's dad. Yeah, absolutely. Now, these next two are overheards where somebody has misheard something that is said. These next two. Yeah. Uh, it just happened.

They just happened that way. And I, and I liked it. Uh, this is Carol in the, uh, San Francisco Bay area. Hi, Carol. A teacher was lined up with her kindergarten, lined up with her kindergarten students outside the classroom door. As she opened the door, she said, You are not going to open your markers.

Do not open your markers. If anybody opens their markers, they will feel my wrath. And one student said, What kind of rat? So, in this kid's head You will Now feel my rat Is it a big rat? Yeah What rat would you want to feel? A domesticated

A domesticated A nice rat A soft rat Yeah A Hollywood rat Yeah well Yeah If you want to see some Hollywood rats

Check out 1917 Oh yeah? I was bitten by a rat once On set On set And I said Am I going to Should I go get a shot?

And they said, no, this is a Hollywood rat. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. It's okay. Like, okay. That made me feel instantly better. It might offer you cocaine. Yeah, sure.

And it did. We're still friends. We went through a rough time. We're still friends because of the cocaine. Yeah. It brings people together. It brings me around. And this next one

comes from Cara. My fiance and I, congratulations. Oh, yes. Sorry, Cara. Yes. Congratulations. And I ordered ice cream

via DoorDash. Never, I've never heard of that. Careful. Yeah. Quick. Yeah, better be quick. They do movie theater popcorn. Oh, yeah. People do that. I can see that. I didn't. Yeah. Quick. Yeah. Better be quick. They do a movie theater popcorn.

Oh yeah. People do that. I can see that. Yeah, exactly. Let's get some candy and popcorn. Um, uh,

so yeah, but you'll miss out on any kind of interaction with a cashier. That could be fun. Yeah. You'll miss out on seeing a name tag with their favorite movie on it. Yeah. Yeah. Kung Fu Panda.

Yeah. That's always a fun one. Ask me about Kung Fu Panda 2. So ordered ice cream via DoorDash, and a female delivery driver arrived to the house to deliver it to us. When accepting the bag of ice cream, my fiance said, awesome.

And the delivery driver responded excitedly, really? I guess the delivery driver thought my fiance said want some so my fiance had to be like uh no and run back into ran away i mean that's that's the dream for a for any kind of delivery person. You want a slice? You want a slice of pizza? Yeah. Come on.

I've never done that, but maybe I should start offering. It just seems like you could do it. Yeah. Do you want to grab a slice for the road? Especially if you've ordered a little pie for yourself. Yeah, that's true. What's that done from time to time? From time to time and time after time.

Time to day. Are you guys users of the DoorDash or whatever delivery? I have. Food delivery app? No, I feel like I would be opening a portal into a world I wouldn't be able to get out of. I did. I have and I did and I'm trying to do it less. I do it if I can pick it up because there's a pickup option.

There's a pickup option, yeah. But the delivery, it makes it so expensive. It's always around $30. It's for like a dumb a dumb $12 thing you want. It's like just go out just go out put your shoes on.

Yeah. Go get it yourself. I love the pickup method because then you don't have to talk to someone on the phone in a very busy restaurant

where they can barely hear you. I like the rhythm method. Yes. That's how you I like it. Yes. Think up with other women. No. No. That's how you... Yes. Think up with other women. No.

Rhythm method is like... I know. I'm not sure I know. I know that it's supposed to be a birth control. It's like when you know when you're the most fertile and you don't have sex

at that time. But this one, I'm so horny. When I'm most fertile. Yeah, that's unfair. We should have times when we're more and less fertile. Yeah, it is unfair.

When your seed has just got to get out. I'm so fertile. So if I can't come to lunch, I'm too fertile. Stay out of the bathroom. I just went in there. I am fertile. Fertile, fertile, fertile.

Fertile the turtle. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. Spy pod one, like these people have. Hey, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Noelle from Iowa with an overheard.

I took my son to the ear, nose, and throat clinic, and there was an elderly woman in the waiting room loudly talking to the nurse, and she said, I couldn't take it anymore, so I dug it out with a toothpick. The nurse had no response to that besides a horrified expression on her face. Thanks. Yeah, I guess don't do that if you can avoid it. Don't start doing surgery with toothpicks dude what do you think she dug it out of her ear nose or throat i mean and did she make an appointment with the doctor then like it's a two-day wait i can't wait that long i'll still

go to my appointment i'm getting this thing out by By hook or by crook. Or by toothpick. Yeah, toothpick seems like the worst implement to use for any kind of, because it's just wood. What do you call it? Q-tip? Q-tip. Yeah. You're not even supposed to stick those in your ear.

I know, but if you've got to stick something in there. Yeah. You know, not a sharpened little spear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unless it was in her throat. Yeah, I guess. In which case, yeah. What it was in her throat. Yeah, I guess. And then in which case, yeah.

What would you do? Okay. A Klondike bar? I'm just trying to think of something you would get stuck in your nose. Like a Lego man's head. Yeah.

Okay. What would you get that out with? I mean. Of course. Yeah. I think I would try. Yeah, I'd try to blow it out.

A neti pot? Yeah, maybe a neti pot. Maybe a neti pot. Maybe a Q-tip. Yeah, maybe a candle my nose. You know? Yeah. You know, get some...

Some cocaine. Vacuum. Just cocaine. I mean, I know it's going up, but I want to give it a shot. Just want to see what happens. Yeah. I just want you to punch me in the face.

I think better. Okay, it's not about the nose, I just think better Once I get the cocaine I will know how to get this out I'm not even going to do that nostril Yeah, come on Here's your next phone call Hey Dave, Graham, and possible guests

This is Rob from Virginia calling in an overheard From Tim Hortons In Canada While waiting in line at Tim hortons i heard one employee approach another from behind the counter and say i'm still dealing with the mango situation thanks off i go the mango situation sounds like uh like a second album from a 90s band yeah from chris cadet or like a whodunit like a whodunit like a book you from a 90s band. Yeah. From Chris Kattan. Or like a whodunit,

like a whodunit book you'd buy in a grocery store. Ah, M is for mango situation. Yes. And it's like a picture of a dossier as a mango situation. Yeah, the mango situation. Or maybe one of the horses

from a Dick Francis novel. I don't know. Is there anything mango flavored at Tim Hortons? Maybe they might do a... Oh, like a goop? Yeah. Is there any mango flavored at Tim Hortons? Maybe they might do. Oh, like a, yeah.

Is there any kind of goop or things they put on a donut? They might do a mango donut, like a mango, uh, jelly. So it could have been an in situ situation. You ran out of steam after in situ. I don't know what in situ is.

Um, uh, no, I don't, I don't know what in situ is. No, I don't. I don't. Look, I'm not a huge donut fan. Yeah. I'm definitely not a huge Tim Hortons fan. Well, the Tim Hortons donut is one of the worst donuts. Yes.

So if you want a good donut, go to another donut shop. Used to be. I think there was a time. Yeah. I'm told. Still like a Tim bit. I like a Tim bit still. Yeah.

I like a Tim bit, but the donuts themselves are. Yeah. bring me yeah they're not fresh yeah and i don't and i reject the we're forcibly culturally connected no i absolutely in canada like for whatever reason tim hortons is like you gotta love tim hortons because you're a canadian it's like why yeah they're a corporation they're not yeah there's no equivalent. Like the States, you don't have to love Dunkin' Donuts. You do because American runs on Dunkin'. Yeah, runs on Dunkin's.

Yeah. You don't have to love them. Is there like, I guess, in America, everyone loves McDonald's. Yeah, that's true. Everybody pledges allegiance to the clown. To the dollar maker. Yeah.

And the deals with it, it provides. And in Great Britain, everyone loves O2. Yeah, they's true. Everybody pledges allegiance to the clown. To the dollar mania. And the deals with it, it provides. And in Great Britain, everyone loves O2. Yeah, they love it. Brand cell phones. Absolutely do. Oh, they love it. They love it and Vodafone. Those are the two things they love.

And the tube. Oh, they love the tube. They love driving Vauxhall cars. They love an unarmed policeman. They love it. We are nothing but just assemblage of stereotypes

I think I was in London a couple times in the last month and they I think they've updated the sirens oh really

yeah more North American style like the just like boo like that kind of well yeah which one's that one that's like get out of the way yeah they like can be a couple blasts of that yeah what here yeah you hear it a lot in new york what's what is it what's the traditional English one? Oh, I don't know.

I've never heard it. Yeah. That's gone. Maybe that's still in France. Yeah. And also, their outfits make more sense because they're bright.

They're like, everybody's in high-vis stuff. But it always looks wrong when you see it on TV. That's not a cop. Yeah, cops should be in the darkest colors so that they are always in blue. What shade of blue is this? Obsidian. Here's your final phone call. Hi Dave, Graham, and lovely listeners.

And lovely guests. This is Karen from Portland. I was walking downtown the other day. I was on a corner waiting to cross the street, waiting for the light to change. And I see these two teenage girls on the other side waiting for their light to change. And I see these two teenage girls on the other side, waiting for their light to change, and they're having a very animated conversation. Lots of arms and hands and big facial features.

The light turns, and we both walk, and as we pass each other, I hear the shorter one say to the taller one, It was truth or dare. What was I supposed to do? Say no? Well, off I go. No, you have to pick one.

Yeah. And then you have to do that one. Yeah. Are you allowed to, once you hear your dare, are you allowed to then say truth? I think it depends on the truth or dare party you're at. Yeah. It depends on the circle.

Did you ever play? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah? Yeah. I ended up hanging my butt out the bus window as a result of a truth or dare. See, I was such an attention... And that was the truth.

Yeah. That wasn't even a dare. It was the truth. What do you want to do more than anything? What is your raison d'etre? Show us. Yeah. Show us your passion.

During the break, I thought of what could be a premise of a very funny slapstick movie. During the break of our show? Of our show, yeah. You were supposed to be focused on the show, Graham.

I know, I know. But this, I feel, is a good pitch for the show. Graham, any idea you have during the show is property of the show. Absolutely. And by you have during the show is property of the show. And by extension, 3M.

Yes, our parent corporation. We all all hail Scotch tape. I thought it was Cisco Systems. We're 3M, man. Yeah. You know the, remember a couple years ago when that woman tried

to fix the picture of Jesus? And it ended up being like a monkey? Like a movie about her. Like a really crazy movie about her. Like that's the only thing she did that became world famous. But she's always doing shit like that. She's like a bad Forrest Gump. Yeah.

She's a bad Forrest Gump. What about that for a title? Bad Forrest Gump. Bad Forrest Gump. Yeah. She's a bad Forrest Gump. What about that for a title? Bad Forrest Gump. Bad Forrest Gump. Like bad, you've seen bad Santa. You've seen bad Lieutenant. But just her whole life is fucking things up in there. Yeah.

That's the thing that really puts her on the map. Pretty funny. Yeah, that's good. You know, maybe get a Melissa McCarthy in there. Her. Please. Those movies get made. The Spy and the...

That's true. Whatever, the one with... Yeah, that's a bit zany. Yeah, and the one of her, like, as robbing a store or something. Yeah. What was that one called? I can't apologize

enough or whatever I just I do feel that I do want to say just to circle back that's going to be the name of the painting movie

I can't apologize enough they might still be zany premises but they're not as kind of carefree and I don't know or have you changed maybe

or maybe I've changed but I don't think you take the Universal Studio Tour and you want to see Airport 1973. Take me right to the airport, please. Show me the Inferno from Towering Inferno.

Ryan, that brings us to the end of this year's podcast. Oh, it's always so fun to be here. I can't apologize enough. I can't apologize enough. I'm so sorry. What was the Melissa McCarthy movie called wasn't there like Can You Ever Forgive Me

Can You Ever Forgive Me yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what I meant yeah what would you like we plugged off the top your once monthly

live sitcom last yeah the last Monday of every month in the projection room of the Fox Cabaret getting the business live sitcom

come on out and the fun part is we do the first half we do the episode of the sitcom and the second half Mark and the fun part is we do the first half we do the episode of the sitcom and the second half Mark and I put on wigs

and we come out and we do a fan show about the show you just watched oh that is fun we interview so we do a little we play different characters

it's always a good time come on out and the Sunday service every Sunday you know at the Fox Cabaret 9pm if you're ever in Vancouver

please check it out and every other Monday in Vancouver go to Graham's show absolutely the laugh gallery at the Fox Cabaret, 9 p.m. If you're ever in Vancouver, please check it out. And every other Monday in Vancouver, go to Graham's show. Absolutely. The Laugh Gallery. At the Havana. Yeah.

We never plug that enough. Yeah. 9 p.m. Damn right. It's an hour show because we know you got bed to get to. And there's always

fun things you could win. You could win all sorts of prizes. Maybe, you know, like if I ever find that Urkel book that's where it's ultimate destination

no that won't make it on the market because I will purchase it off you for whatever you whatever price you want there's only one left and Nicolas Cage

is going to steal it and that's his 80 movie there's one copy of an Urkel book and that's what I do in the holodeck I'm like show me a movie about me

trying to find the last copy of this Urkel book I love it go a Zemeckis film yeah in the style of

in the style of Zemeckis but like that kind of Tom Hanks animated train one yeah so scary terrifying

I'm more like a welcome to Marwen Zemeckis purist. Well, thanks, everybody, out there for listening to the show. If you like the show, why not tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. So close. I know. maximum fun.org comedy and culture artist owned audience supported