Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 622 - Peter Carlone

Episode Date: February 17, 2020

Comedian Peter Carlone returns to talk road rage, breaking wine glasses, and bad service.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 622 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's wearing Canucks colors but not in a jersey form. In a nice understated plaid. Oh, I wouldn't say this is understated.

Overstated. Mr. Dave Shumka. I mean, look at it. It's black, gold and orange. I mean, look at it. It's black, gold, and orange. Yeah, but I didn't realize they were Canucks colors until a couple minutes after I was here. Right. I was like, I bet you that's more than that.

But that's because that's when the drugs hit. Yeah. You started really shrooming hard. Yeah. And then you're like, whoa, Dave's wearing a swirl. Did you buy it because it's Canucks colors? You know what? Or they're just fall.

They're just fall colors and it's February now, my favorite fall month. Yeah. No, not specifically. I liked it. I saw it in a picture on a website and I was like, oh, this, I thought it was like quilted, like an outer layer. Yeah. And then when I saw that it wasn't, I was like, eh, I still like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

This can be an indoor. I don't have to go work on a construction site. Yeah. Yeah. But you could. I could, sure. Yeah. Whistle at ladies.

Yeah. And these days, you know what? Ladies will whistle back. Yeah. Nail my foot to the floor. Yeah. Yeah. You'd sit on a beam, eat your lunch.

Those are the three construction worker things. Our guest today will be at the Havana Theater Thursday, Friday, and Saturday of this week as part of JFL Northwest. Yes. With his comedy partner, Chris, Peter and Chris's show. That's right. What is the name of the show? This one is called Peter versus Chris.

Peter versus Chris. Yeah. It's Peter Carlone. Hi, everyone. Hi, Peter. Hi. Hello. Welcome.

Hopefully my voice is going to hold out. If it doesn't, you know, we'll carry you. Yeah. We'll carry you I hosted this crazy event last night at Science World Did you know about this thing? Let's get to know us Get to know us What was this crazy event?

Did you guys hear about this? Did you guys hear about this? Look, some of them did It's called the Science of Cocktails Yeah, they've done that from time to time Yeah, they do that from time to time And so. It gets so rowdy.

Is it mixologists there? So this is for people not in the know. This is a kids, I guess not necessarily kids, but it's a science museum. Yeah. Aimed at kids. And if you go without a kid, you're weird. Yeah, that's true. And if you're like, it's the kid in me that I'm nourishing the kid in me.

And yet they tell, we always tell tourists oh check out yeah and then you're asked to leave if you don't have a kid yeah they give you like a little mannequin that you drag around so that you don't feel but this event is very much the opposite yeah you can't show up with kids no you're not permitted to have kids with this time so one time you go into the science world because we yeah I think we did comedy at the science world. Oh, cool. Yeah, I did it a couple times. Yeah.

I don't know if it was, they had drinks there. I don't know if it was specifically the science of cocktails. Was it a science, was it an exhibit on comedy? No, no, it was like a Friday night, Adams only thing. Yeah, come and drink and look at the exhibits. Because so many, I think there were so many comedians. Did you ever work at science world? I did.

Yeah. There's so many comedians worked there that. Yeah. Kyle bottom hired and trained me or, or trained me. And, uh, Adam Pateman and Ivan Decker.

Yeah. They like, I think promoted and put on this show and had. Yeah, that's right. People. It was the science of white men. And we learned a lot Yeah

Yeah Did you learn Anything about Cocktails Well I I was hosting I was trying to pick up

What was going on It was so loud We had these Cocktail competitions At the main stage In the middle of the building So that's what Myself

And the unstoppable Connie Smudge, local drag queen, and I were hosting, and we put on these competitions. I mean, I love a drag queen name, but I wasn't familiar with that one, and for a second I was like, what an awesome birth name. Yeah, to have been given by your parents.

I'm going to name her the unstoppable Connie Smudge. Yeah, the first name is the unstoppable. Middle name Connie. I guess anyone can give themselves a nickname. name her the unstoppable connie smudge yeah the first name is the unstoppable middle name connie i guess you can give anyone can give themselves a nickname yeah yeah funny smudge part was really good but also just yeah calling yourself unstoppable is is bold oh very bold but but lived up to the title like a ton of energy she was she killed it it's like a superhero thing isn't it that stan lee would call you yeah that's yeah, that's right. They used to have all those. The uncanny Connie Smudge. The uncanny Smudge.

Did they? They did away with those for the movies, I think, right? I think so, yeah. I don't even know any of their. There was this amazing Spider-Man. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. The wintery soldier.

The wintery soldier. So you're standing on a stage, then Are there a bunch of Bartenders Oh man So there's like 40 different bars What That bring their stations To science world

There's like Three DJs all spread out Not next to each other Just spread out Just three DJs Competing Competing Everything's a competition

Whatever for the night Six turntables And a microphone And then 14 food stations As well From local restaurants And there's all these competitions Like best dish of the night, people's choice, best drink. So if I'm a guy who goes to this, am I buying a drink at everything or did I pay a cover fee?

Tickets are like 130 bucks. And then everything's free as soon as you get in the door. I should be able to take home a molecule or something from one of these yeah you can take on one molecule you're allowed in a little bag at the end and they're like yeah trust me it's in there so yeah and the average person is drinking going to 40 bars isn't that crazy like if you want to try everything that's on offer that means you have to go and have 40 drinks do they make little tiny ones yeah they'd be like not like your water they're like you know like that like

i guess i can't do a visual yeah no you know they're like that big yeah he's doing this big for the listener he's doing like yay big yay big yeah um yeah so people got a little rowdy it wasn't too bad this year but a couple of people were uh requested to oh really it was a science of barf yeah i wonder if kids the next day are like why does it smell weird in here yeah yeah it smells like bar food and it must be after tonight and after new year's they also do like the donnelly group rents it does a new year's party at science world too also no kids but the next day yeah it's got to smell like yeah. Yeah, or just, I mean, like there's no, like a bar always smells like a bar. Yeah, I mean, I guess there's a lot of soiled diapers there on your average day anyway.

So you're like, this is an improvement. It smells much better today for an hour. Yeah. And then the diapers take over again, I imagine. Now, how long did you work there for? Oh, man man good question 2008 until uh today until i just got fired yeah after last night's drinkathon yeah there actually were no i was doing i brought a bunch of alcohol and i was drinking there was no yeah i brought 40 different i just brought 40 different drinks. Yeah, I just brought 40 different drinks

and I hid them all over Science World and then I ran around. 2014 or 15. At some point, Chris and I started doing the fringe tours and those kind of started becoming, not enough, not like,

oh, I'm buying a new car and a house. Buying a new accent. But it became enough that it was like i'm gonna dial back on on having my my main job or my now that became my side job i started i still do a lot of stuff for science world but uh more on a contract like make content for them oh really yeah we make this a really fun murder mystery every Halloween. Oh, wow. I'm here plugging all of Science World's evening event. Why not?

We just got a family membership because Poppy's now three and she's not free to go anymore. Right. So we bit the bullet and now I can go anytime I want. I feel like if you go, what is it, like three or four times, it kind of pays for itself. Yeah. Yeah. What's on, do you know what is it, like three or four times, it kind of pays for itself. Yeah. Yeah. What's on, do you know what's on now? Yeah, they've got to.

No, I don't know. We got a family membership. I haven't used it yet. No. It's like Lego meets architecture. So it's like Lego towers, but real world towers built out of Lego. And then you kind of, the kids, the families are learning about like architectural principles and what's the tallest tower in the world and what.

Are they learning it? Yeah. So much of running around. Yeah. There's like got to be a level where there's some that are just playing with Lego. Yeah. Well, there's like occasionally there'll be an article of like, meet this guy whose job is playing with Lego.

And I'm like, who's paying? Who's paying this guy? Yeah. Who's paying this guy? Maybe it's like a church. He takes donations. Oh yeah, he makes a Lego

and then he's like, what do you think of that? What do you think of that? And then he passes around a little wooden plate thing. Or a Lego thing. Or like, make a dish out of Lego.

He makes a donation dish. But who, I guess Science World has to pay somebody to make these Lego towers. And there's like, Legos hiring these people, I think there's like uh lego's hiring these i think that's part of their pr yeah probably like advertising for them yeah i guess we did just

say lego a bunch of times a bunch of times yeah uh i'm in the pocket of big brick um i'm in the pocket of mega blocks oh the rivalry yeah um did you see lego had uh i don't know how this could i i feel like i either dreamt this yeah it happened two weeks ago you're like do you see the lego men they got boobs now or was i or was i dreaming that i either dreamt this it happened two weeks ago or five years ago okay uh lego now sells a or someone sells a thing that separates legos that are too stuck together ah like a two horn a wedge thing yeah yeah i think i've seen that that feels like something that they should have like day two day two yeah we made the brick day one they made two bricks and they're like not crap yeah i just cut my nails i can't really do anything um do your kids lego yeah yeah

but not so uh i don't know if because lego culture has changed since we were kids. It has. Oh. Now it's much more about the sets. Right. I want the whatever. Oh. Well, the, you know, the Star Wars set. Oh. My kids have like the Frozen set and the Beauty and the Beast set. Instead of just a bucket of bricks.

Instead of just squares and squares. Yeah. Right. And then they build the thing and they just want to keep it the way it is. Fun. They build the thing and they just want to keep it the way it is. Fun. My kids aren't so much like that, but we have to convince them that the fun of this is taking it apart.

You can rebuild it anyway. Yeah. I don't want it on the table. I'm tired of looking at Downton Abbey. Yeah. Perfectly pristine. Yeah, because there's people that put together puzzles and glue them in spots. I just heard that there are professional Lego filters. And you know what? This guy gets paid to have fun.

Well, and they're kind of making their own things. Or they're like, oh, I'll recreate this building. Yeah. You know, I don't have instructions. They have access to every brick, building. Yeah. You know, I don't have instructions. They have access to every brick though. Yeah. They just got them like in those, um,

yeah. Uh, like bulk food bins where you pull a lever and so satisfying. Oh my brown rectangles. Yeah. What building are you building with the brown rectangles? Falling water. I love it

Was working at Science World Because it's kids It's kids running around like crazy Yeah It's the whole Oh yeah Thing Did you do the shows?

Yes Oh I love You know what honestly I don't know if you If you do this too Where you have like Rose colored glasses For the job

Where you're like Yeah I work as a hippie Yeah Yeah I work in a head shop Exactly So for the job where you're like yeah i work as a hippie yeah yeah i work in a head shop exactly so uh no i when i look back on i'm like man i like i'm almost i miss that job a little bit oh yeah um i mean if it'd be nice if it like paid hundreds of thousands of dollars a year but yeah uh but i i loved the work while i was there uh because you got to do the shows you also got to do little workshops right kids which is just like a little mini show.

And the show is like you get on the little stage. There's a little amphitheater. And it's like they're learning. What is a show? Okay, well, let's say. I think my favorite one was called The Air Show. And so it was everything from like air pressure. Kevin, watch the stars. The French band? It was musical. It was music. one was called the air show and so it was everything from like uh air pressure watch

the stars yeah the french band it was very it was musical it was music and it was a hybrid show of science and uh uh no it was it was yeah it was actually i think it was just air pressure i was gonna say air pressure and and that's it okay and vacuum yeah watch me vacuum this up the lack the lack of air pressure and air in general. And so it's like trying to get a water balloon into a jar or trying to do, we had a little vacuum chamber. And you bring a kid up on stage and say, hey, you try to do this. Yeah. Ah, dummy, you can do it.

Yeah, it was a lot of making them feel very small and science is way above them. I was a lot of making them feel very small and very like science is way above them. Okay. Now I try to get a ping pong ball to go over the arrow when it's like, there's a funnel involved. I forget. Yeah. I remember newly effect. I think.

Oh, that's what you're talking about. Oh yeah. That. Yep. Yeah. I was going to say, I was going to say that's the Berlusconi effect.

Very different effect. the Berlusconi effect. Very different effect. Did you both ever see a show when you were kids called Mr. Wizard? Yeah. Yeah. He was very much like,

you're doing it wrong to the kids all the time. Oh, I think, I don't think I've seen it. I think I saw a compilation on YouTube of this guy. Yeah, he's a kind of meme to people.

Kind of a cranky science man. Yeah. And like, but he was called Mr. Wizard, but he just like wore a sweater like he didn't wear a cloak and a hat he was just like uh an old guy but he really would get on the kids if the kids didn't do the thing no no come on you held it like this you're doing it wrong yeah was he right or are we like are we too soft now in tv and in general or was he soft well we had uh bill nye who was apparently only mean to kids off screen is that true yeah i think bill

nye doesn't like kids wild and now there's none there's none of that there's no uh except the wiggles i feel like the wiggles are w Oh, that are like for kids and have to wear their own faces? Yeah, who are like adults who are like, I'm a, you know, I'm world famous, but only to

little kids. I really like the expression have to wear their own face. Yeah, they can't just take off their crap, take off their wiggle hat. I mean, maybe Captain Feathersword

doesn't get recognized as much as, say, Locky, Emma. Locky and Emma were married, you know. They got divorced. Locky wanted kids. Anthony doesn't wear shoes. Simon. Is this divorce, this is all canon for the Wiggles? No, no. This is all

behind the scenes. This is all the tabloids. Oh, wow. Yeah. Inquirer Junior Uh huh Oh man Did I mention Simon? Yeah The opera one

Are the Wiggles Are the Wiggles like Bill Nye? Is it science stuff? No No It doesn't From their name It really doesn't sound like

They're gonna do much science talk No they do this a lot With their fingers Yeah So for the listeners at home What he's doing is sort of a yeah there's uh there isn't i don't i could be wrong there's no kids science think there's nobody who's dominating the field there's no beekman there's no that is a problem we're gonna we're gonna we're? That is a problem we're going to reap in what we sow.

We're going to harvest that in 20 years. Nobody knows what science is anymore. Yeah. There was no way to make science fun. Yeah. It's weird that Bill Nye kind of transitioned from being a kid's science guy into being just a science guy. Yeah. He followed us all up as we grew up.

But Beekman well before he was he go before he was bill nye the science guy he was a sketch comedy yeah he was he was on almost live out of seattle oh i did not know that and he was one of the high five and white guys he had a character named speed walker who was like a superhero who just walked like used like olympic speed walking and he did bill nye the science guy stuff on the show oh but like with past guest john keister is he wild of science or is he i think he's of science okay okay so that's and then he started do he went to sketch comedy for a bit yeah yes and then saw another avenue he's like oh I should be doing Yes Yeah I think

Look I'm not Bill Niographer It really seems like Maybe you are Does that work Yeah it works Bill Niography

Yeah Yeah Um So Uh Working at Science World Was great You loved it

I liked it I liked it a lot There were definitely times Where you're like Oh stand in this gallery for an hour. And they kind of tell you as a staff member, like, oh, go engage with the parents and ask them if they want help with anything. Ask them if they're like, oh, do you, you know, you just kind of go around, explain, condescending, you know, you know how this, you know, the science behind that thing you're looking at. Oh, and then the parents are like, no, I'm just trying to make sure my kids don't get kidnapped.

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. You want to hear about the science behind kidnap? Yeah. You know, it's actually a lot harder than you think. Because one's over here and one's over there, and my eyes have to move at all times. Yeah. And then you've got this little dork in a blue shirt like, hi, can I have your attention as well?

I'm mostly relying on the fact that a kidnapper wouldn't spend 40 bucks to get in here. Plus parking. No, but if they get that season's pass, you know, pays for itself after three kidnappers. I was, what is the syndrome where if you fall in love with your cat? Stockholm. Stockholm. Stockholm. Yeah.

Couldn't remember. Remembered it was named after a place. Couldn't come up with it. So that's how I lost on Jeopardy. The worst part in Die Hard is when the guy who's like the hostage expert comes on the news show. And says, mentions the Stockholm syndrome and the host trying to be a smart guy it's just such a fake moment as in stockholm finland like he gets a this is to make him seem like such a boob yeah just focus on making this a christmas

movie yeah just admit it so it comes from the place? Yeah, there was a... It's not like a guy who's like, hey, you know what? Happens sometimes. No, it was a specific incident, a bank robbery in Stockholm. Oh. Finland. By the way.

Sweden. Sweden. And the captors, or the hostages started feeling sympathy for their captors. Right. Hmm. I mean, you know, they're sympathetic creatures. Why are they robbing a bank? Probably hard up. Yeah. You know? They're not people who are rich who are just

doing it for kicks. Yeah. And if they are, Yeah. If movies have taught me anything, they're all very handsome. Bank robbers? Yeah. Yeah. Entirely. Gorgeous. Yeah. Groups of 11 or 12 of them? Who are the handsomest ones? movies of tommy anything they're all very handsome bank robbers yeah yeah entirely gorgeous yeah groups of 11 or 12 of them who are the handsomest ones well patrick swasey okay yeah uh you know bonnie and clyde you're you're young uh what was his name robert redford no not robert redford the other guy same no other handsome guy who was like he he was in Bull. Gene Hackman?

Gene Hackman? Gene Hackman is in that movie. Yeah, and was handsome. And was handsome. I assume. But the lead is, I can't remember his name, Faye Dunaway and? It's not Steve McQueen. Not Steve McQueen.

Oh, goodness, I don't know. Oh, boy. Somebody, some cinephile out there is losing their mind. Yeah, or screaming. Some of our 60-year-old. He was in Bullworth? Oh, boy. Somebody, some cinephile out there is losing their mind. Yeah. They're screaming. Some of our 60-year-old. He was in Bullworth? Oh, Warren Beatty. Yeah, Warren Beatty.

Yeah. Handsome. Bullworth and Clyde. Yeah. He's very handsome. It's, yeah, that's true. I'm trying to think of an ugly bank robber in a movie. Yeah. Who was in Rock and Rolla? Rock and Rolla. Is that Jason Statham? That's Jason. Like, I'm trying to think of an ugly bank robber in a movie. Yeah.

Who was in Rock and Rolla? Rock and Rolla. Is that Jason Statham? That's Jason Statham. Oh, wow. We're still pretty handsome. Still, you know. He could rob my bank. I don't know what that means.

Who was in Inside Man? Denzel? Oh, yeah. Also. Another handsome. Yeah. Yeesh. Handsome.

You know what? They really just make movies with handsome people. Oh, that's what it is yeah yeah yeah it must have been hmm must have been like a a hard changeover when the radio stars were like i guess we'll star in movies too and they were like no no we're gonna find a um and so uh you don't do the science world anymore you're you're you make like you're you have like your own production world yeah i've been trying to do i mean i've been doing corporate video stuff corporate videography for years now um trying to do a bit more creative trying to get more like of the funny stuff made what's uh

corporate stuff not funny yeah yeah so for some reason they don't take any of my jokes what's your average uh corporate um like charge what do they like what do they want for example don't go into specifics because i don't want to bank to get mad at you yeah let's i don't want to be careful no it's it's usually a lot of the stuff i did was internal so it's like i mean video content is becoming king right now right it's like yeah all content is king baby content is king i thought cash was king uh location yeah so it would be like oh we need to inform all of these people about a new product that our staff are going to use or informer yeah or yeah or you have a retreat

with a group one department so they like well we need to film that so that the people that funded it can see what happened can see that it's good

we can use that to recruit more people the people who weren't invited can see how much fun it was exactly what they missed out on we got to meet the white caps

and you're like cool oh great yeah that sounded specific yeah oops oops oops Yeah, exactly. You got to meet the white caps. And you're like, oh, great. Yeah. That sounded specific. Yeah. Oops, oops, oops. Like, I, every day, I record Jeopardy! off of the Vancouver Island network.

And all of their commercials are made by a local company. Oh, I mean, that's great. Yeah. I like that. Like, it's all, like, a mattress store. And then, like, you know, it'll be like, we've been in Victoria for 25 years. And it's always the owner is in the commercial. Yeah, maybe I should move there and film those.

Man. Well, they've got it on lock. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's probably yeah i got the one where it's like like oh like normally you see a commercial for a toyota and it's like produced for like for the nation this is like one toyota dealership yeah yeah yeah there's the one with the uh hard of hearing they're like hearing tests oh and there's a guy very fancy glasses that guy i forget there's

a there's maybe i haven't seen the new one the guy that owns the place is like he's quite a fashion plate and uh he's he's a guy that if i saw him in real life i'd be starstruck i'd be like you're from the hearing center oh my god my God. So do you record them off? Like, that sounds so. Yeah. The way you. I'm getting a man in the woods kind of vibe from this. Yeah.

You know. His neighbor's watching it and he has a camera shooting through the window. Yeah. One time I witnessed a murder. Nobody would believe me. I told them. I told them. Yeah.

But I wouldn't. I couldn't give up the tape because it was too embarrassing because I didn't know any of the answers to Final Jeopardy. This man starred in Bonnie and Clyde. Oh boy. I mean, Gene Hackman was in it. What is full worth? What is full worth? Partial money.

But yeah, these aren't commercials you're making. You're making in-house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, these aren't commercials you're making. You're making in house. Yeah. Yeah. Like do you, have you ever done like a safety video? Uh, Oh, I was in one a long time ago. Really? Yeah.

For, for city of Vancouver. I just don't know if I'm getting myself in trouble now. Okay. Well, you know what? We'll mute it. Okay. We'll mute. We'll just mute.

We'll cut out your track. Start talking and people will just hear them. That's probably for the best. It was a safety video for City of Vancouver folks. And it was around driving on their lots with those, you know, those like City of Vancouver trucks, the green and white Ford F-150s or whatever. So to drive one of those and they were like okay your character is showing how bad it is uh to drive at unsafe speeds on these lots you were the goofus i was the goofus yeah the and they had done they were like oh this

gonna be fun we're gonna do like a zombie movie so they had hired these zombies and stuff like that i am not a i was not a good driver at the time okay in that i did not have a license to drive oh my interesting okay so mute that part of the track i don't know a statute of limitations or whatever it was like 15 years ago yeah it's over yeah so i maybe i haven't told the story already i don't know i we didn't remember you you one of the times you were on so i maybe i haven't told the story already i don't know i we didn't remember you you one of the times you were on so i come racing into the parking lot is my job yeah as the actor which by the way you don't have your actors driving usually that's that's not for me to be doing oh yeah that's yeah that's true it's very rare that it's like yeah okay ryan gosling yeah drive this thing yeah drive it off a ramp. While remembering everything else.

Yeah, and we'll hook you up to a, we'll pull you behind the real driver, James Corden. Yeah, yeah. Who's listening to music with Adele in his car or whatever. And they're in a follow car and it's a big controversy. So they're like, try to avoid, you got to dodge these zombies and you're driving too fast. And you pull up to the building. And once you hit the rubber parking bumper, try to go over it. You know, the things that are designed not to make you go too close to the building.

It was like, hit that bumper, go over it and then hit the brakes to give us a little bit in the camera and make it look like the car kind of, oops. Yeah. Kind of got jolted. Right. And then we'll make that look like you hit the wall. So we do five takes of this. And I'm dodging human beings in this drama. Well, they're zombies.

Of course. But now, again, I'm not sure if you're familiar with filmmaking, but these were hired actors. Oh. Yeah, it was fake. It was all fake. Did they have their zombie licenses? Hired zombie crisis actors. Yeah, they were fully licensed unlike me yeah yeah they had their

license i mean they all probably had driver's license we should have switched yeah well that would have been the goofus is a zombie yeah yeah exactly the sixth and final take the director comes up to me in the car and he's like hey okay for this last one go as fast as you're comfortable going i'm scared now yeah by that time i'm i'm cocky and arrogant and i think it's probably the same when kids are learning to drive right where you're like well i haven't experienced anything bad in my life spicy in a car right so this so i'm indestructible i'm an amazing driver yeah i am not i was not so the sixth I'm cruising. I managed to avoid the humans, which is good. That's great.

Yeah. Yeah. And then I'm like, okay, I'll try to hit this part, but I'm going a much faster than I should have. Then I was, because I was confident.

I was like, yeah, I'm a, I'm basically a stunt driver. Oh boy. And then I discovered I wasn't. So they were pulling around going way too fast. But my buddy,

Sam Mullins in the car is freaking out. He's like, you're going too fast. You're going. I was like, I know, I know, I know. know the sound guy can the sound guy can hear all of this yeah we're all lav'd up this guy's really goofing it up he's actually doing it and so then i go i feel i'm like here we go i'm getting too close i hit that parking bumper but that's when i slam on the brakes just as it gets on the parking bumper so it tears it out of the ground and surfs it right into the wall of the city of Vancouver building.

Did they use that take? That's the take they used. Of course. Yeah. Good. They got the shot they wanted. Yeah. Well, and that's what it's all about.

Yeah. Getting that shot, getting that day, you know, and I got away with it. The safety officer was like, all right, well, once we started an investigation into what went wrong, we'll investigate all of the things we could have done better. And then this investigate, I'm like, stop saying investigate. Yeah, stop it. You're about to find out something crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The first question you have.

Yeah, let me guess. Let me guess. So then they started doing that and they didn't, and on the weekend after, so it was Friday, the weekend comes on Saturday. I went and I got my license. Okay. So then on Monday they called and they were like, yeah, we're just doing some follow-up from that little accident. It looks like nobody was harmed.

The truck didn't take any damage. Thank God. The building was self-insured like city property. So thanks. You guys paid for it to fix that. You're welcome. Yeah. And they were're like the last

thing we need is your driver's license number and when you do the test you don't have your driver's license right you have the you passed it you have to wait for it so i had the driver's license number what it will be yeah written down on my test that i passed nice i was like oh i'll just get my driver's license out of my old wallet here that sounds very papery on the phone. Yeah, I'm doing some other things because I'm multitasking. I'm doing some other things, yeah.

You should have just said, I don't have one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what would have happened. Get bent. Maybe it would have been like,

hey, you shouldn't have done that. I don't know. Get bent. I'm not doing any more of these city commercials. Yeah, I mean,

yeah, come and find me. You hired someone who didn't have a license what are you gonna fire me like whose job whose job is fire the person to do that i was just thinking like if you were harmed while you were in full zombie makeup how would they know they wouldn't know what to do and they and just having you being wheeled into the into the er oh my god like a zombie yeah uh i would have gotten care much faster, I think. They would have been like, oh, we got to deal with this guy immediately.

He's missing like most of his face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then they would start working on me. And I'm like, oh, it's just his elbow is scraped. This seems like an episode of The Good Doctor. A show I've never seen. A very popular show. And they shoot that here

They do yeah In this city Yeah No Yeah It's Toronto No it's out in Surrey Like I don't know

Old Haunted hospital Yeah haunted hospital Really You know one of the four Haunted hospitals That are discontinued Around here

Yeah that's true We do a lot Yeah there's Riverview Which they used to shoot Like a lot of X-Files Yes that's right

And The Bad Doctor The Bad Doctor The Spooky Doctor The Spooky Doctor I remember When I was first Out of film school

I shot Music video there And a lot of the X-Files stuff Had just been left Like they gooped up The walls and stuff So

Gooped up the walls So that the walls Looked like Slimy That was just David Duchovny He came in here And gooped up the walls and stuff so yeah so that the walls look like slimy very alien that was just david ducovny he came in here and gooped up the walls he was a sex addict famous sex addict yeah is he more famous for being a sex addict now than he was for i mean to the kids today yeah yeah he's like on the mount rushmore of sex addict oh. Oh, who else is on that? Oh, here we go. Oh, boy. Wilt Chamberlain? I don't know. Wilt Chamberlain?

Charlie Sheen, maybe? Wait, is that one real? Chamberlain one? No, well, he didn't... You're just throwing it out there. He's the one who had sex with like 20,000 women. Yeah, he...

What? But I don't know if it was an addiction. Yeah, that's true. Maybe he just... Maybe he could have stopped any time he wanted. Maybe he was just

bad at estimating. Yeah, or, you know, if you just have a bunch of mangoes and you just eat all those mangoes, it doesn't mean you're a mango addict. If you have 20,000 mangoes, it doesn't mean you're addicted to mangoes. Just because you have access to that many mangoes. I eat an egg every morning, but I could stop any day.

He almost sounds like original Trump or something. How many women have you slept with? 20,000 women. 20,000 women. 20,000 women. You have no idea. I've slept with every woman that exists. No, it was just like, I think it was probably just quick math of like. A little back of the napkin.

So for in one year I did this many and then I. I did this. But that lasted over this many years. Yeah. And I never slowed down, never had a night off. No. If I did have a night off the next day, I'd have sex with two people just to make up. If I had a night off from basketball, I would go harder on those sex.

No nights off. Wild. So Charlie Sheen, Chamberlain. Charlie Charlie Sheen Chamberlain Charlie Sheen Chamberlain Gene Simmons I don't know I don't know

It's a gross mountain now It's a gross mountain It's an addiction And it's not something To joke about guys Ah crap After I brought it up So we've been muted

For most of this The big middle chunk Of the episode Yeah the middle chunk We just We unmuted you for you to say um i did it without a license not that far that's the part we kept in it also i will say it wasn't on any roads it was also it's always on my city owned roads no it was not on any of your roads it was on city property yeah yeah yeah that's i own that

sorry yeah that's true my parking tickets pay for that and i will say you guys have built a some beautiful facilities thank you by airline and see we prosper yeah that's right um like uh do you are you from here originally uh i'm from calgary what high school did you go to central memorial central i feel like we've talked we should have guessed yeah? I'm from Calgary. What high school did you go to? Central Memorial. Central Memorial. I feel like we've talked about this. We should have guessed. Yeah, if anyone's from Calgary, we ask what high school they went to.

And what does, Vancouver's motto is, by air, land, and sea, we prosper. Do you know Calgary's? Isn't it Yeehaw? Gator Dunn? Yeah, Gator. There's oil in them there fields. It's something like uh what is it wild rose country they'll be coming around the mountain that's alberta's wild rose that's what they call

it yeah that's on the license but that's not necessarily the the but i think calgary it's like it's not a mantra a motto they're not constantly saying it. I mean, speak for yourself. Well, you're clearly not. Yeah, I guess that's true. I would know it. Calgary's new slogan. Oh. Oh, okay.

Be part of the energy. Thumbs down. Thumbs down. Big thumbs down from you. Okay. Replaces heart of the new west. Yeah. So it used to be heart of the new west. Yeah. Now it's his Heart of the New West Yeah So it used to be

Heart of the New West Yeah Now it's Be part of the energy I already forgot You said it And I couldn't remember it Yeah

I mean Heart of the energy I get it You have oil Yeah that's pretty much What they're after Yeah Huh

Although maybe It's not good But it's Could be the slogan Of like Like a Volleyball team A radio station Yeah Be part of the energy Yeah Yeah could be the slogan of like, like a volleyball team, a radio station,

a radio station, yeah. Yeah, be part of the energy. Yeah. Yeah. Um, when you're making these,

uh, corporate videos, yeah, do the, all I wonder is, do the people in them, are you getting actors, are you getting the people from the,

yeah, it'll be the, the people themselves, yeah. And do they, uh, love and do they uh love it do they love it or do they've been told that they have to be yeah it's i would say it's all over the map right because everybody even if you're not going to be in this industry like doing comedy or doing whatever there's still going to be a few people that are like they want to be stars yeah that was that was kind of my like next question is like do you come across like a david brent who's like this is gonna be

i would assume that the average person was would be like oh it's better than working yeah that's true like i get to do this today well some people i think it's an extension of public speaking which they're you know oh, people are terrified of. Yeah, exactly. So it's like, as soon as you, they see the lens in their face and everything that makes people uncomfortable. Sometimes there's even this rig, I forget what it's called right now. I direct or something.

It's a big old box that you put on the front of the lens. And then you, the director, the guy running the camera, whoever stands on the other side of it. And it's a piece of glass that reflects your face in front of the lens so they can't see the lens the camera lens they just see your face uh staring at them what are you errol morris yeah exactly um wow and do they like your face uh and then well and then that throws some people off too because i don't know what to do when you're i'm just staring into a box and i can see a reflection of them and and you're just yeah so i try to like but yeah just so checking the time yeah looking at the little monitor doing

the pu thumbs down this guy's thing this second yeah i am i just started watching the mcmillian's documentary oh yeah me too the speaking of a guy who like loves being on camera there's one fbi agent in that who is just like i don't't know if they would even, why bother making a documentary if not for this one guy who just like loves it. He keeps trying bits. Yeah. He's always riffing. Yeah. He's like, you know, you're an FBI agent and we're talking about like million dollars of fraud.

Like he's like, put me in the reenactments too. And not only do I want to be in the old footage, not only do I want to be in the interviews. He's a perfect example of one end of the spectrum of people that are like, this is great. It's like, I'm not working right now. This is like a day off for me.

Yeah. And then you have people that just shut right down. Yeah. And both of those ends of the spectrum, the number one comment and joke they make is you can edit that out right all right they always that's literally the joke we've been making for 12 years we we've said it four times today yeah i shouldn't be so hard on them that's true yeah yeah give them a break and give us a break yeah yeah fair enough break us off a piece of that cake I've been way too aggressive um but uh

yeah that's just like uh like I say watching those island commercials I'm like who shoots these

who scripts them do they write the scripts themselves they're so much fun I would love to do those like the infamous Winnebago man right like you'd find that

one day actually that was probably a nightmare to shoot it was probably a corporate it wasn't a commercial it was like that it was like how to operate this winnebago you just bought yeah which oh yeah that's right so it would have been a

corporate not a commercial that's right but you know that guy probably had driver's license yeah it all comes back to me i guess um well shouldn't have. That guy has a major anger problem. That's true. They don't really test you for anger. Yeah, that's true. They don't do a road rage, like, supplement. They really should. Yeah, like a road rage simulator.

Yeah. Yeah. At the end of your driver's test, somebody should come in and just slap you, and then they just see how you react. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you fly off the handle immediately. Yeah, if Shasha Gabor comes over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And if you fly off the handle immediately.

If Shasha Gabor comes over. The, yeah. Have you ever been involved in road rage? Oh, yeah. I mean, I, yeah, like, I think when I drive, I get pretty, I get pretty edgy pretty fast. Yeah. Like, I don't, like, you know, I don't cut people off or any shit like that but i like i start screaming and stuff and swearing oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i the worst one i did and then i

got in trouble i had a really firm talking to for my wife because she was in the car and really hates aggression and like and and she's right like just de-escalate why do you need to make things worse but i had somebody cut me off you know when you let a car in another person was riding their bumper and went in with them as well

and looked the other way like I can't see I didn't see you I just kept going yeah yeah it's like it's king's way you know there's traffic

on it I was right behind the car I let one car in because that's what you're supposed to supposed to do otherwise the zipper breaks yes it's the zipper it's the zipper yeah one and one and one and one so i drive up next to the car and i rolled my window down oh no peter pressed my

middle finger onto their driver window not the windshield but that wait i gave it a bad it was bad yeah i mean i don't know i wish it left a mark. Were you driving? Yeah. How did you get it onto their passenger side? On their passenger side. Oh, okay. They were alone in the car. Right.

So it's also, it's just that wasn't cool. No. I've admitted to like four crimes this episode. No, that's fine. Isn't that kind of a crime? No, it's like I have the flip side of it when I'm a pedestrian and somebody's doing something that's like awful and dangerous. Yeah. I will either give the finger or do a very condescending round of applause to somebody.

I like that. I'm a thumbs down guy. Thumbs down? That's good. It's not a swear. There's no swearing. No, but it's like you're like. It hurts.

Yeah, I'm letting you know that stinks. Yeah. I never thought of you as a bird flipper, a middle finger guy. If somebody who's really like endangering my life so that they can make a light. Yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah. It's not.

I kind of flip out. But I also don't drive so that's my friend said of driving in calgary versus vancouver in vancouver the drivers will kill you um out of negligence yeah they'll just be looking the other way and they'll have run you over or they'll be going way too fast in their fancy car and then in calgary the drivers will kill you with intent yeah it's like you cut me off 10 minutes ago i've been following you on deerfoot at 90 yeah you were the guy with the cj92 sticker in the back window yeah be part of the energy buddy i had to look it up again look at see because you

forget it immediately what a horrible motto um yeah the uh one time uh at the this was back in the day when the urban well was still around oh yeah we were sitting on the patio and two guys that had been in a road rage incident drove like got out of their cars and and beat each other up oh my god really that must have felt good to watch no for them well the one guy who really lost the beating up he felt not as great can I ask was it like very bad was it like

some punches some haymakers and then it was over or was it like down to the ground like they were trying to murder it was so bad

because neither of them knew what they were doing and so everything that connected was by accident could you tell who was right and who was wrong

just from the fighting style the guy who was who's pulled over first cut off the other guy and the other guy was like honking and then he like slammed on his brakes and the guy behind him nearly ran into the guy who started it all so the guy who started it all was the in the wrong he was in the wrong. Did he win or lose? He, I think, was the guy who ended up getting pummeled. Okay, good. It would feel so bad if you were like, alright, this is the time.

I'm getting out of my car. I'm fighting this guy because he is wrong. Ow, ow. He's so good at fighting. No wonder rules don't apply to him. He's as good at fighting as he is bad at driving. And that's the thing like i felt in the moment when i did the middle finger thing a lot of satisfaction i was like i kind of think i ruined that person's day at least their morning yeah and that made me feel good yeah it doesn't last very long until the guilt sets in and that's

what's so true about like especially if you're like continuing on the same commute with them and you see them in every stoplight yeah and then you realize they live in your building you're like oh boy here we go and they're the person that you have to interview at a job interview yes and they showed up at the interview yeah crap uh yeah you still got the job though i'm very qualified yeah this was on your way to science world. Yeah. That's right. This was yesterday. Well, I'm glad you survived all these car ordeals. Oh, my goodness. Yeah.

I think nobody's ever going to get in my car again. I'm certainly not. I've learned my lesson. Yeah. Yeah. I don't have to watch a video to know. This guy's a goofus. He's a goofus.

Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, it's wintertime. Oh, yeah. And, you know, I like a drink now and then. But all of my favorite drinks are cold drinks. And it's been so cold lately that I've been like, you know what? I'm going to have some red wine, some room temperature red wine. Okay.

Okay. All right. Start a book club, maybe? Yeah. Maybe have a sexy bath. Why not? Yeah. Yeah.

Red wine is a room temperature drink, right? Yes. Normally. Yeah. Okay. Okay. All right. And I, but in the past, we've had one wine glass.

Right. For the whole household. For the whole household. Because we don't drink wine. A communal glass. Yeah. Wine trough. Yeah.

A chalice if you will. It's very Christian. You keep a Christian household. Yeah. We have a choice of different cups. Yeah. We choose the humble carpenter's cup. Oh, if your kid picks the wrong one put it down

and so uh but when abby's parents left switzerland and moved to gabriela island they um they brought so much stuff and and they had like all these extra wine glasses and they're really nice it's like a really fancy swiss. And they just bought them at like, you know, an outlet, like super cheap. And so they're like, take some, take some, take some wine glasses. And we were like, no. All right, fine. We'll take a set of white wine glasses and a set of red wine glasses. glasses so i i started drinking red wine out of this very fancy red wine glass and drank a glass and put it next to the uh sink so i could wash it the next day or i washed it that

night and i put like let it dry on the counter the next morning it was just kind of like a little bit not clean enough so i was filming or whatever yeah it was filming so i was like okay i'll wash it again later and then some sometime during the course of that day abby smashed it by accident set broke and and that's fine uh so i was like okay well the next time i have a glass i get another glass yeah of wine i drink out of this fancy glass, and I'm a little nervous because the first one broke. Yeah, it didn't last. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I drink this one in bed.

Okay. Absolutely. A little red wine, your Grisham. So you're nervous, so you're like, let's dial up the stakes. Right. Nice new white to do. Hey! Yeah.

And so I drink it in bed. I put it on my bedside table. A nice new white to do. Yeah. Um, and so I drink it in bed. I put it on my bedside table when I'm done with it. And then I'm like, actually bedside table seems like a bad idea. I have a, I'm worried that I'm going to wake up in the morning and flail all over. Yeah.

Or try to hit snooze on the alarm. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Uh, so I, I was like, you know what i'll just i'll put it in the bathroom that way there won't be any worry about that the next morning abby wakes up

goes i i'd put it right next to the the light switches you didn't want to break but you also did yourself no favors so she reaches for the light switches smash so so you are now just booby trapping the house with wine glass yeah well i'm not used to how they work i don't drink i'm not used to how they work a couple days later i'm gonna have another glass of wine oh boy this time i'm being so careful yeah i drink it it's fine yeah i wash it i'm like i'm not even gonna leave it for the next morning to to clean i'm gonna do it now washed it by hand then i'm like i'm not gonna even i'm not gonna let it dry on its own because of the film last time i'm gonna dry it by hand. Then I'm like, I'm not going to let it dry on its own because of the film last time. I'm going to dry

it by hand. Walking around, I walk over to Abby, who's sitting on the couch, and I say, I'm being extra careful. See, I'm not going to let this happen again. It literally just falls out of my hand onto the floor.

onto the floor. And so I've broken three glasses without finishing a bottle of wine. And so the next day I, or the next time I just had a glass in like a small, like, you know, sturdy little. Oh, like an Italian. Yeah, like an Italian would have it on a terrace.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Yeah, I mean. That's amazing. Those wine glasses are sensitive. Yes. Yeah. And which is why, is it just because it's so, it's fancy that way?

Like, oh, it's all the expensive glass, so thin. It's supposed to do something with the wine. Oh, okay. Like, it's supposed to let it breathe. Yeah, the shape of a red wine glass is, looks like, bigger. Yeah. But you could, like, slap a bit more glass in there, I thought, but. Yeah, why not?

Yeah. But it might be heat, whatever, distribution. Oh, yeah. It might be heat Whatever Distribution Oh yeah It might be Did you swirl it Yeah Before you drank it Smell it

A little swirl If you're not It stuck your nose in there Yeah Swirled it around Yeah Then put it in my mouth Swirled it

A little Spit it out Spit it out In the sink And be like Yeah it's a Did you see that weird thing they say Like oh legs for days

Yeah I said oh check out the gams On this glass of wine squeezed it smashed in my hand um uh the hot drink in the the winter hot drink of choice i always go hot toddy yeah but but is that too hot it's hot. And it's like, you're definitely not having two hot toddies. You get drunk on hot toddies. You're just sweating by the end of the night. Just sweat through your trip.

A hot toddy is like basically like warmed up water, like kettle. Yeah. We boil a kettle. You pour basically a cup of hot water with lemon in it and maybe honey and then a shot of whiskey. Yeah, and then at a bar they'll put like a cinnamon stick in it if they have it. And that's supposed to kind of... I feel like a 10-year-old. I like hot chocolate.

Yeah. Hot chocolate's good. My drink of choice. But the problem with hot chocolate is you're always so excited for hot chocolate that you drink too fast, you burn your tongue. Yeah. Yeah, the first sip ruins all the preceding sips. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's too much fun to drink.

Yeah, coffee shops will now do a kid's hot chocolate where they just don't make it super warm. kids hot chocolate where they'll they just don't make it super warm they warm up basically like the foamy milk from a uh latte but then just put chocolate can you order an adult size kids could i get a kid's one in an adult cup yeah my kid's here for sure yeah yeah he's in the bathroom right now my mom used to always so like we she wanted to get a pirate pack from white spot which is the kids meal and she would always call in to pick it up and be like

yes I would like to order a pirate pack for my son like anyone at any fast food restaurant cares there's like a button on the till My son. Like anyone at any fast food restaurant cares. Yeah. There's like a button on the till. There's a four.

Yeah. We need to see some ID. Yeah. Son. Yeah. What came, what comes in the pirate pack? I've never,

that's. It comes in a pirate shaped, like very, you know, foot and a half long. That's awesome. A foot and a half long that's awesome a foot and a half maybe it's a lot of food

but it's a cardboard it's a cardboard pirate ship yeah with uh a burger and fries and a gold coin a gold

oh gold chocolate coin gold chocolate coin that sounds fun for adults yeah as well yeah that's uh I think your mom was in the right

yeah yeah it is fun yeah well then you could bring it in your bath bathtub as well. Yeah, that's, I think your mom was in the right. Yeah. Yeah. It is fun, yeah. Well, and then you could bring it in your bath. Bathtub. I mean, she would laminate it first.

A lot of work. Oh, man, you don't see as much laminated stuff as you used to. Yeah. Yeah, I feel like laminating machines really had a heyday.

Yeah, they went out. Yeah. Have you ever coated your paper in plastic? Yeah. That's theday. Yeah, they went out. Yeah. Have you ever coated your paper in plastic? Yeah. That's the rage. Yeah, melted plastic over your paper. Like 7-Eleven and McDonald's used to have

wax paper, right? Like the paper was like dipped in wax. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, right. And it was coated with wax and then when you put it in the fireplace, the wax melted. Why is the planet in such disrepair? Yeah, why is this thing falling apart? We can't figure it out.

Anyway, I got to burn more stuff in my home. We started having the best party in the 80s. Yeah. Didn't stop until like 90, no, 20. What do you mean? Because of the global warming? As far as ruining the planet. Coat everything in plastic. Who cares? Box this, box that. You can ship it to yourself. 20? What do you mean? Because of the global warming? As far as ruining the planet? Yeah.

Code everything in plastic. Who cares? Box this, box that. You can ship it to yourself. I don't know if we're even slowing down. No. No, it doesn't seem like it. It's crazy how much plastic there is. That's why we bailed on those fresh preps.

Have you guys tried those? I loved them. You mean HelloFresh? Yeah, HelloFresh. Yeah, they sponsor the show. They're great. You mean HelloFresh? Yeah, HelloFresh Yeah, they sponsor the show They're great I heard HelloFresh really is better Yeah, oh no

Because it's all recyclable Yeah, it was recyclable Where Fresh Prep's not We don't do ads anymore You gotta cut this No, it's fine We stopped doing ads Oh, really?

Yeah, congrats We're the opposite of mad men Yeah Sane men Sane women Oh yeah, by the way, listeners Since you haven't heard ads this year Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah. Congrats. We're the opposite of mad men. Yeah. Same men. Same women. Oh, yeah. By the way, listeners, since you haven't heard ads this year, it's because we stopped doing ads.

Yeah. Guys, we were bad at them. We were bad at them. Were you bad at them? And Madison Avenue was like, eh. No, no one said we were bad at them. We just, it just didn't, it was annoying and we didn't have fun. It didn't make a ton of sense for our size of podcast given how much

uh we make from ads oh i see it makes sense hey bigger podcasts you do you yeah exactly if joe rogan's got some kind of uh muscle milk he wants to sell yeah and i'll buy it yeah i'll drink it that guy is toned it must work. He must use the products and they must work. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Oh, man. Okay, well, sorry I ragdolled. He's the muscliest podcaster.

Is he? Wow. I mean, hello. Oh, yeah, sorry. Well, you're wearing that flannel. I can't see. We can't tell. Let me do that thing where my boobs go up and down.

I don't know that bodybuilders call them boobs. Well, we do now. Anyway, yeah. Say whatever you want about HelloFresh. Do not. Badmouth the recruiter.

A company for which I care a lot. It was just all the plastic. That's all I was getting at. I don't care. Whoa. That was just all the plastic. That's all I was getting at. I don't care. Whoa. That was Dave's boobs. Yeah, I'm sorry.

My boobs. They're in a fight. They're in a fight. You're going to smash some more glasses. Guys, I was too embarrassed to say it. My boobs smashed the glasses before. You were holding them between your boobs and doing a flex. And normally, it was no problem, but i've lost a little bit of tone

uh graham what's up with you uh i went to our uh province's capital you go this week like i've been on the ferry a lot yeah yeah i've been doing a lot of ferry this show was it didn't used to be so uh travel heavy no and uh now it's a travel log. What is this? This is, I was going just doing a stand-up show. Oh, okay. I would say the biggest change that I've noticed since the local comedy club closed is that Graham travels now. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That sucks. Hither, thither and yawn um the

but my specialty now is being able to fall asleep on the ferry and uh it's something i was never able to accomplish for many years and in the last i would say the last two years i've really hit my stride and being able to just like fall asleep and stay asleep. Do you go to that like quiet lounge or are you just in the, in with the regular? Yeah. In with the. Go to the buffet. Yeah. I go, I eat, uh, I try and get a pirate pack.

I, uh, because, uh, yeah. White spots, the choice of ferry. The buffet. I wonder. There probably wouldn't be anything I could have. They do have a buffet and it's like Like 50 bucks or something Or maybe more I have no idea

And it's like cold cuts Is it? I think Maybe I just went for the lunch one Or something once Yeah I've never been I don't know anybody who's been I've seen better buffets

Oh really? Put it that way Where's the best buffet you've ever seen? I mean like a casino Oh sure Oh wait what's that one downtown? In the hotel Where the comedy club used to be.

In the Century Plaza. They have a buffet. They have a buffet. They have a breakfast, like a brunch buffet. Buffets are fun. Yeah. That's a firm recommend. Yeah.

They seem very, I just don't want cold crab legs. No. But it feels like that's the value proposition. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You're looking for the value. You don't want to just buy, like, fill your plate up with cold crab legs. No. But it feels like that's the value proposition. Yeah. Right. Yeah. You're looking for the value. You don't want to just buy like,

fill your plate up with pancakes. Yeah. Yeah. I do want somebody to make me an omelet at an omelet station. Yes. Yeah. I feel like that's fun.

I want someone to make me an omelet. I can't refuse. So yeah, I fell asleep in the ferry. Great. And when you wake up, are you ever like, are we still at sea? Um So yeah I fell asleep in the ferry Great Um And you When you wake up Are you ever like

Are we still at sea? A lot of times I'm being Woken up My staff Perfect Which is great Yeah that's what you want

Yeah Maximum number of sleep hours Yeah yeah Minutes And Yeah the worst is on a plane When they wake you up And you're like

We'll be there in two hours Yeah you're like Don't wake me up then Why Did you want Sorry you were asleep. Did you want some water? Yeah.

No, I wanted the dream I was having. I was dreaming of water. Um, no, you're a good thing. You woke me up. Um,

and then, uh, the hotel I was, uh, staying at there, there was no heat in my room. What? Yeah.

He, he wasn't working uh so i went down to the front desk and i was like tonight's room is free obviously yeah yeah yeah and they were like freezing um and so i was like uh i don't have any heat in my room and the guy said uh what room were you in and i said oh one three six and he just wrote down the number and that was it and he never came on yeah bye i wrote down the number okay and he just adds it to a pile of all the other room numbers he's like got it one thing go yeah guy did it room complaint bingo if my parents come to stay here, don't put them in rooms. Yeah, exactly.

Yeah. It sounds cold. Yeah. Yeah. And I like a hotel room cold, though. Like, really? Really cold? Yeah, I don't know.

You know, in the summer, for sure. Yeah, of course. So, like, I was in the hotel. It was in the afternoon. So, I was like, you know what? I'm going to order myself a pizza. I'm going to eat a pizza in bed. It's going to be great.

And then I called. Don't put it on your bedside table. Put it in the bathroom. When you're done with it. And I reach for a towel and instead I reach to put a pizza on my face. Um, so I called, I like looked up,

you know, what are the delivery places in, in Victoria called one closed. Uh, this is the afternoon. Yeah. It's like two o'clock in the afternoon. Dr.

Phil was on, I remember. Um, and, uh, then I called a place and the guy took my order. And then. Let me write that down. It was exactly.

It might have been the same guy. I was like, don't you need the address or anything? He's like, oh, no, we don't deliver. I was like, what? Why did you? Why did you answer the phone it was the same level of service yeah oh no i'm sorry we don't deliver and uh and then there was another delivery place but they weren't delivering yet oh so then i ended up ordering from just whatever

place was left and it was awful it was just the worst pizza I've ever had. Why is some pizza bad? I don't know. It seems kind of hard. Once you have the basic machinery. Yeah. Yeah. Just make a pizza. Like I've made a pizza at home and it was good.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I've had better. Yeah. For sure. But it's, yeah.

Like when you have a bad pizza, you're shocked. Yeah. Yeah. Because you think the standard starts at good and then goes up from there it's weird when people have like different i guess some people have different taste in pizza yeah but yeah what made it bad sauce was bad oh oh and uh the ground up it was yeah yeah like and it just kind of like the picture on the website was very not what the pizza ended up being and uh and i also ordered like soda to come with it i didn't bring the soda oh man yeah it was it was a it was a hard it was a

hard day of service and i was victoria um were you uh was it warm when i got there uh the pizza was warm good so yeah your room was cold yeah yeah i sat on the pizza at least they got that part yeah um but yeah like the whole time i was in my hotel room was like walking around with a blanket on that sounds wonderful yeah um you're right it's kind of like a sick day yeah watching dr phil not bad um and uh yeah that's uh that's uh Dr. Phil. Not bad. Um, and, uh, yeah, that's, uh,

that's, uh, that's when I got, when we went to New York in October, uh, Abby's friend had recommended this pizza place and we went and it was like the hot pizza place. And right.

Like it was, there were celebrities, pictures all over the wall. Cool. Simon Rex was, it was pictures. Simon Rex looking so drunk on the wall. Former. I don't know even who he is

Was he a model? Was he an MTV VJ? I think this is my first time hearing the name Simon Rex Well he was drunk And But we went We stood in line for this pizza And it was not good pizza

Oh really? It was like I't right it was like i feel like someone was like uh yeah we're a little burned out on new york style pizzas you should go to this place it's different but i'm not burned out on yeah you wanted the new york yeah i remember doing comedy in chicago chris and i went to sketch fest there and we were like you know nervous because like oh it's going to be different here. The comedy is going to be, the comedians are going to be these high rate. And it was just the same spread of people.

Like some people were really, really bad. Yeah. We were very good. Yeah. Wow. That's a good group. And then everyone else was kind of in the middle.

And I was like, yeah, it's just like, we're all just the same. And then we had deep dish pizza there. I was like, this story better have pizza. And it was the same thing where you're

just like i guess that's what you know they're like you gotta go here i can't remember the uh not pepinos that's here but we was a piquads i don't know malnati's whoa okay you know them all hey it was that one lumal not yes yeah and it was good like it's good food but it was like yeah it's like a wall of cheese that's what i thought that would taste like and then the sauce yeah yeah great i don't know like what was the sometimes i just wonder what the whole what the big deal yeah and why it's like you gotta go to this place because they get it's like different cheese like i felt that way when the there was like a couple months ago and everybody was talking about like the popeye chicken sandwich. And I was like, there's no way it's good. I was like, there's no way it's good.

Did somebody like die? They had like a fight? Yeah, there was fights and like lineups and stand-eats. Yeah, and it's like, it's a fast food chicken sandwich. Yeah. Guys, I bet it's really good. Like I won't stand by while you bed mud the sandwich that I want. I want it.

I stopped hearing people talk about it, and I don't know if it's, like, was this a limited time thing? It's because that guy died. Yeah. They were like, let's pull this. It was a moment of silence. I wonder if it's a small offshoot of the phenomena of, like, mass hysteria. Like, it just, because. It's like that whole that whole story of like a person on a plane is like, oh,

I'm sick. He starts like throwing up and then everybody starts throwing up. We've all been poisoned. Yeah. And they find out that guy had food poisoning. A Popeye's chicken sandwich. A Popeye's chicken sandwich. Yeah.

Yeah. But I just feel like sometimes those things flare up and it's like, oh, the Popeye's chicken sandwich. And then everybody gets it kind of like in their mind subconsciously, like that's gotta be the best sandwich ever. And then you go and you're like it is the best sandwich ever it's got to be yeah i guess if you stand in line for something long enough you can convince yourself that it was and you're probably starving by that point anyway too so you're already yeah

that's primed yeah and also you know what uh it's just fun to to get the sandwich that you were thinking about yeah you know and now i And now I got to get it. I know. Yeah. Where? Do they have it? We don't have it here. Do we have a Popeye?

There's like one in Latin. Yeah. I think there's one out in the outlying area. But I'm going to drive an hour to there and they're going to be like, we don't have it. No, just call and they'll tell you they don't deliver. Yeah. Place the order. Yeah.

I drove to an Arby's once. Why? Because we don't have Arby's like in this whole province almost anymore. And then they opened one. We drove it out. It was driven out and then they opened one in like Tawasin.

So one day I was like dropped my wife off at work and I was like, well, I don't have a job. I'm useless in this life. Who put so many kilometers on our car? Yeah.

So I just drove to Tawasin. And waited for Arby's to open because my wife goes to work at nine in the morning. Curly fries at 11 or whatever time it was when I got there. A weird orange shake. And I rung the bell on the way out. I got a little bell if you enjoyed your meal.

Oh, do they? Yeah, you ring it. It's just covered in cobwebs. Oh, man. Should we move on to some overheard? Yeah. Hey, you've reached Dr. Game Show. Leave your message after the beep.

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Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which we hear things out there in the wide, wide world and then bring them back here to the podcast. And we always like to start with the guest. Oh, man. Peter, would you lead the charge? This might be a little weird. Sure. On this one.

It's sort of an over-experienced. Okay. I'll allow it. i am uh an actor type i go to auditions sure um and you know i'm sure it's a normal thing but it this led to a bunch of questions that i will then that i have about our society so i go to the bathroom as one does yeah slow down yeah i'm sitting in the stall oh yeah first i take my pants okay all the way like hang them on the door yeah yeah and i put them on the door i'm sitting there as one does yeah yeah fine something something correspondence and then the door kind of gets shoved open.

It's fine. It's a public whatever. Oh, you're not the stall door. No. Oh yeah. That's a good point. I'm not very good at telling stories. The stall door remained shut and sealed as far as I could tell.

Yeah. But so the door, so I can't, I'm, I can't see what's going on. Door gets shoved open. And this guy, I can't reason I'm saying anything particular. It was more like you're frank and it's just shuffle and shuffle and bag and bag and then zip and then clothes like just piles and piles of of clothing or whatever and i'm like okay i'm thinking two things one it's a uh a person you know down on their luck sure they need a public washroom yeah

and i'm all for that yeah because it's like that's not it their luck sure they need a public washroom yeah and i'm all for that yeah because it's like that's not it's not fair they need a space to get themselves ready or whatever yeah but more likely it's a guy with a freaking audition uh right and it's like time to changing his costume or changing whatever out of his work clothes out of his and his cast me clothes yeah into his spaceman outfit yeah that he keeps in his trunk i'm here for the ad astra audition i have spaceman number one i'm reading for the role of ad so he's grumpy obviously fine and he's trying to telegraph the grumpiness i guess he can and i do i don't know if you guys do this i try to like i try to let people know that i'm in there so like

if a bathroom door opens i'll go like yeah oh, just happened to clear my throat just then. Or tap my feet. Yeah, I'm in here as well. Yeah, I happen to, when I'm in that situation, I never go to the bathroom in public. There was my first mistake. But I mean, I had to. I know. That was our mission.

Sometimes they're like an hour and a half. I get it. So you can get in and cut celery. And then they're like, thanks. Is that a euphemism for going to the van? No, that's just straight up one of my auditions.

Cutting celery? They were like, can you cut it like a chef? And I'm like, I mean, I did work at a restaurant, but they gave me a paring knife, like a little,

you know, with a little green puffy handle, like not a real knife. And the celery, it might, I'm like, it's not like a chef height. It's like a little you know with a little green puffy handle like not a real knife and the celery it might i'm like it's not like a chef height it's like a little tv tray and i'm standing up in front of it so i'm like leaning over trying to pretend to be a chef cutting a one piece of celery with a paring knife like yeah you know how chefs do he's got it he's got the factor okay back to the bathroom so he's shuffling around like, get on, just put the bag over here and get on. I'm like, okay, that was weird.

So I open the door and I'm expecting to see- You're done, by the way. Oh yeah, so I finish what I was doing. Put your pants back on. Yeah, I take the pants off the hook, I put them back on, zip up the pants. I do up the belt. I open the latch, open the door.

I'm expecting an outfit on the counter. Yeah. I'm talking six. We had a wardrobe. Oh yeah. Yeah. All over the counter. Different types of thing are all along the same line.

You know what? I, I, my anxiety, I was like really trying not to give any eye contact or like look at his stuff or look at him. I was just kind of like, Oh, this is fine. Yeah. And, and this is what, that was my question was like, trying not to give any eye contact or like look at his stuff or look at him i was just kind of like oh this is fine yeah and and this is that was my question was like you know in in in our world where you're supposed to be like you kind of okay if you're going to change for an audition or change in a public bathroom yeah somebody comes in normally i would think

you'd kind of be like you know you give them a look you give that person that you walked in a look or like this is crazy right yeah yeah i show business huh the the energy i was getting from this gentleman was that i was in his bathroom yeah and i was like i need one of the sinks so i'm like can i just move i'll move the sweater arm out of the sink so i can wash my hand didn't know didn't care that i was there didn't notice he was just still doing his own come on get this guy yeah and then this guy warren bailey yes did you so handsome did you do you keep uh uh cash of costumes on you at all times i have some in my in my at my house yeah but you don't have like a duffel bag full of doctor's coat no i've got some a rubbermaid bin full of like some peter and chris props which does make me feel like a child but but i do have like a doctor's coat like hung up in my closet and like a cop jacket do you have

one doctor's audition a lot no i don't audition at all, but Abby's got kind of a pharmacist fetish. Pharmacist. You've got the little half window. Yeah. Why don't you walk around for 15 minutes while I fill this? Go read some magazines. It'd take too long to help her. I can show you how the blood pressure machine works.

You can stick whatever you want in there So I don't know if that counts as a traditional overheard We're breaking a lot of traditions today I love it, 2020 Dave? Mine barely count either because they are my children And these are two jokes that my children came up with as we were driving. I like it already. Yeah.

The first one, this is Margo. She's five. She came up with this joke. Why did the chicken doctor go to the restaurant? Why did the chicken doctor go to the restaurant? I don't know why. Because he needed to poop. Yes.

Yes. Yes. And this is a doctor that tends to chickens or is a chicken doctor? Oh, we did not get into that. Okay. But at the clinic, the washroom is not as good. I guess not. Yeah.

Rather use the one at the. Harvey's. At the restaurant. Harvey's. The next one. This is the other one is from Poppy, who is three. Knock, knock. Who's there?

Tomato. Tomato who? Tomato Shumka. Very proper. Yes. I love it. I like that very much. Yeah.

Tomato Shumka. Pleasure to meet you. Like, let me in. Well, because Margo was doing all this orange you glad I didn't. So, Poppy was really excited to build one. Yeah, feeling this food space. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, she could tell that it was working.

This is working. So, that's great. She could tell that it was working. This is working. That's great. I want to reinstate who's there when people knock on my front door. Yeah, that's true. I want to give people an opportunity to come up with a little thing. Who's there? Who's there?

The police. Oh, never mind. Let me get the door. Do you have a warrant? Hello, I'm Officer Tomato Shumka. Tomato Shumka. Please let me in. It's cold. Are there any good new ones?

Or are they all just like interrupting cow? Yeah, I haven't heard any good joke ones. Yeah, no, they're all, yeah, interrupting cow. Interrupting cow is a classic. Of course. Let us in. Yeah. Dwayne Yeah Dwayne

Dwayne the tub I'm drowning Yeah And you know what They stick around for a reason Yeah They are good Yeah

They are good Yep Graham Mine Is courtesy of Riding One of Vancouver's Many

Fine Buses Have you Have you tried our new ubers uh no all four of them yeah there aren't very many on the road the rides are very expensive are they yeah i looked up one from like my house to science world like because i was going there okay what are we talking five minute drive 16 17 dollars Well, it's because there's, I think there's because there's so few drivers.

Yeah. Not to interrupt. No, no, but that's. I got to grind some gears. Yeah, I get it. Yeah. I mean, for that much money, I'd want to see him like

press his middle finger up against somebody's window, you know, like do something cool. And that is a service I can offer. No, I don't offer it anymore. No, you've cured yourself. I'm working on de-escalation, breathing exercises and whatnot.

But this is not about the bus overheard. No, I want to hear about these breathing exercises. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is there a specific? Do they work? Oh, no, for real? Yeah, it's just, I mean, you have to stay, if you're driving, you can't do the, you know, the ones where you're like, breathe in and hold it for 10 seconds or four seconds or

whatever it is. Just because I think you should stay alert. I do Le Mans. I do that when I'm driving. I do the 24 hours of Le Mans. While driving. It's pretty fun. Is Le Mans the like hee hee?

24 hours of Le Mans is a driving race. That is really good. That is way above my pay grade. ford versus ferrari it'll change your life yeah it probably will change my life i did watch that movie i could not remember the the lamans deep cut but that movie was like dad porn or something it really was don't google dad porn that's a good misspoke riding the bus

two people got on that they smelled the way they looked they looked like they were high they smelled like

they just smoked a joint and were also drunk they smelled like they looked I love that and sat it was a couple

sat behind me and I mean they had all sorts of great nuggets. But the top of it was her saying, I wish you could smoke on the bus. Yeah. Did she mean cigarettes or more drugs? Just, you know, just having the option man life is tough

yeah exactly we just didn't get enough of it before the bus stop smoking sometime yeah yeah oh boy you could smoke on the and he was he was in agreement can you vape on the bus you can you can Can you vape on the bus? You can. Maybe. You can. Yeah, you can do anything on the bus for a bit. Sneak in a quick vape. I bet you can vape. A sneaky vape? Yeah.

But I like to blow those fat clouds. They only recently made it not allowed on planes or something, I thought. Vaped? No. No, that was never allowed on planes. Really? No. I would rather somebody vaped on the bus than ate McDonald's.

Oh, I don't know. Or on the bus. Yeah. Or on the plane. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I would rather smell like pineapple breeze than, hey, I just smuggled in a. Let's work on this.

I'd rather smell pineapple breeze than a quarter pound of the cheese. There you go. We're starting our own ad agency. Taking down McDonald's with vaping? Who pays for that? We're from the vaping council, and we're trying to take down McDonald's. Don't ask us why. Not enough room for the both of us.

Everybody's got gotta have a target And we're from The Vaping Council Which is A thing Yeah yeah We're like You know

When they advertise Cotton Yeah We're just Yeah The fabric of our lives We're vapors without borders Oh that's so funny

Now we also have Overheard Sent in from Listeners If you want to send one in You can send it in To spy At maximumFun.org. This first one comes from Chelsea from right here in Vancouver.

Hi, Chels. This is an overheard on the bus by two girls reminiscing about their younger years. I wasn't fully paying attention to how they got to this statement, but one of them said to the other, Oh, yeah. It was like when that guy in high school pretended he was Borat for a year and a half. Year and a half. A full year and a half. If you're in high school and you figure,

like if you get one laugh from doing Borat, that's my thing now, I'm Borat. I mean, how long did my wife last? It's still kind of going a bit. Yeah, but a year and a half is such an automatic time. Yeah. Yeah. I did it from summer vacation to summer vacation.

I'm going to see if I can do it until Christmas. And then, of course, I'll retire it. Yeah. But also, like, is he dressing like Borat? Has he got a fun new mustache? Right. Yeah. Did the whole thing?

Yeah. My goodness. Amazing. It's hard to find your thing, you mustache. Right. Yeah. Did the whole thing. Yeah. My goodness. Uh, but it's hard to find your thing, you know? Yeah. And so you got to go through phases, you know, and sometimes.

What's your thing? Um, uh, vapor, vapor skateboarder. Yeah. Vapor skateboarder. Okay.

And you? Oh, what is my thing? Um, uh, sleeping too much. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Real sleepy bear. Yeah. I'm a real sleepy bear. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Real sleepy bear. Yeah. I'm a real sleepy bear. Yeah. Yeah. One of those sleep caps. You could line my grandfather

or my father or myself up and do that thing where like you put on a and we all fall asleep. We're all just nodding off in different succession. Oh, that thing. You know that thing,

the classic. You can do that thing. I guess that's not. Maybe that's just my family. Yeah. Okay. We have a problem. We're going to set up the thing

that makes them all fall asleep And then rifle through their pockets I guess I don't know Steal their fillings I think I'm describing anemia No one asked me what my thing was? What's your thing? I'm a Borat

I'm a Borat I'm one of the legion of borats. This next one comes from Doug from

Schenectady. Wow. Good. Yeah. Good. Yeah. I think he may be,

I don't know if that's the way it's spelled or if he spelled it so that I would say

it right. Either way. I never thought this would actually happen to me. No,

is this a letter to Ben Osborne? Yeah, this is a penance for him. Yeah. But I overheard something I think might be podcast worthy. I work in a building with a bunch of scientists and engineers. And just two minutes ago, I heard a guy telling his girlfriend, so now I sit surrounded by meteorologists. So that's really cool no yeah that's like the you know the end of uh you know that i don't do that shit anymore now i sit around

with meteorologists yeah i don't i'm not i won't go back to my old life yeah yeah yeah i have a better life yeah what what's that gotta be like sitting around meteorologists some of them are they're not all just telling you the weather you You know, some of them are talking about the Doppler. Yeah, some are doing the five day, some are doing the 14 day. Oh boy. They have a lot of

weather jokes that they're saying to each other. Yeah. I can't even think of one. How's the rain up there if it's a tall guy? Yeah,

if it's a tall guy, yeah, for sure. I don't know whether it will rain. Yeah, stuff like that. Tomato shumka.

Yeah. I saw this movie, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. It's completely inaccurate. There's one Neil deGrasse Tyson in the meteorology field. Yeah. Oh, there probably is.

Can we ask that guy something? Is he online? Yeah. Yeah. He's taking your. Yeah. He's taking questions. I have something I want to know about meteorology.

What's that? You know when there's like, there's a 50% chance of rain? Doesn't that just mean they're saying it's going to rain or it's not going to rain? Yeah. That's not really a forecast. Once it hits 50%, that's no longer a forecast. It's just a guess. Right?

Isn't that what that means? It's a coin toss. So will they or won't they? Right? Isn't that what that means? So will they or won't they? I heard something about like that we're interpreting that wrong. Oh.

Like if the city has a 30% chance of rain, 30% of the city will 100% get rain or something. So 50% chance of rain means. I don't know. I didn't work at Science World. That's true. Oh no, I did. I only percent chance of rain means i don't know i didn't work at science world that's true oh no i did uh i uh i only uh worked for a brief time as a weatherman uh well it wasn't that brief it was

it seemed like a long time it was a groundhog day and it just keeps uh anyways oh yeah i worked for a weatherman but only briefly like only on the ones. Like I did it. It was a long span of time, but for very short amounts of time. And this last overheard comes from Aunt Sheila. This overheard. This is Abby, my wife's aunt. Oh, fun. Hi, Aunt Sheila. Probably the first ever listener to this podcast, Aunt Sheila.

This overheard is a misheard that happened at work in the teacher staff room as students were coming in from break. So it was a noisy time. Teachers were discussing unusual foods that their dogs enjoyed as treats. One teacher said her huskies really enjoyed kidney beans. A spaniel owner was taken aback and said, Wow, whole? Are they fresh or frozen? Dare I ask? Husky owner, either cooked or room temperature, no seasoning.

They easily eat them whole. They gobble them up a few at a time. A spaniel owner, Huh, I guess the primitive breeds might have different food needs than my dog has. I'm not even sure how you'd prepare that. It feels a bit unethical. Husky owner. It's just as a snack, not a whole meal.

Dogs are omnivores. It's okay for them to eat a few every now and then. Spaniel owner. Is this even legal? Husky owner. Why would feeding dogs a few kidney beans be illegal? Spaniel owner. owner oh i thought you said guinea pigs but also pressure frozen guinea pigs and then she's like yeah you cook them yeah

and fuck you oh i own a spaniel. Your dog must be primitive. Oh, yeah. The term primitive breed is pretty round. Come on. And also, don't they all eat meat? Yeah, they'll eat. I mean, at the end of the day. They'll eat anything. Yeah, they'll all eat guinea pigs if you lay them out for them. I thought you meant guinea pigs.

Wow, what's your favorite bean? Oh, you know, I like. We'll go around. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know what? I just like an old fashioned brown bean. Like a. Like a baked brown bean.

Like a big bean that Mickey Mouse will slice, slice a little ghost slice off of. Yeah. For the family. Yeah. So poor. Favorite bean? The ones with the brown On the top And then their eyes are white

And they've just got little tiny paws But like little fat bums Yeah, yeah, yeah Yours? Pinto In addition to overheards that are written in We also accept your phone calls If you want to call us

Our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 That's one Ugh spy pod one like these people have that was your weatherman voice uh hey fellas so uh here at my college i went to the bathroom and turned on the lights there was someone already in the stall using it in the darkness. So I enter the other stall, notice that the brown cowboy woos get up, leave the stall, turn off the lights, and leave the bathroom with me in darkness. Thanks. Love the show.

Everything about that was the best. That put my experience to shame. That's crazy. Just that there was a cowboy in there in the dark and the cowboy got up and turned the light out on the way out the cowboy's like he probably also likes it this way yeah yeah i'm used to outhouses in the light yeah um i can't poop in the light yeah it has to be dark for me to work that's so funny turns the lights off for him well good. Ann doesn't say anything. That's even weirder. Here's

the next one. Hey guys, Josh from Oklahoma calling with an overheard. Bowling this weekend. Cosmic bowling. And the only lane left was in the VIP suite.

So we take the expensive, super fancy VIP suite. And so we take the expensive super fancy VIP suite bowling lane. Next to us there's a guy bowling with a girl and they're clearly on a date. And he throws another gutter ball

and kind of halfway says to himself, but loud enough so his date can hear, oh, man, these pants are so tight. Anyway. Boy, if you let me take my pants off, I promise I can bowl better. These pants are so tight. I also love this idea of a VIP lane at the bowling alley

that you're right next to the normal lanes we only have room in the vip zone it's uh eight hundred dollars yeah but it's got a velvet rope that goes all the way down the lane all the way down the lane so every at every or maybe it goes across the lane so when you you bowl at every link you have to like remove the rope as the ball comes it's a bottle service just coronas yeah we'll bring it to you i'll bring it to you maybe maybe this guy uh they gave him rental shoes maybe they gave him rental pants yeah that was the problem no street pants do you think he was very confident in his butt and he was like trying to call attention to it.

Like, oh, these pants are so tight. Right, babe? Yeah. What do you think when I bowl? Yeah. Are they tight in the right places? Yeah. What do you think?

I know that every time I bowl, I'm bad at it. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, you know, due to lack of practice for sure. But every time that I go in my mind, I've tricked myself into believing I'm good at it. Yeah. And then. What's your average, uh, frequency?

Like how often, how many times a year? Once? Maybe once. Yeah. Wow. Are you going often? More often? I'm saying once a decade.

Oh boy. Despise bowling. You despise it. I'm going to be honest with you. I don't, I know that's a strong word. Yeah. For something so silly. Yeah.

I really can't stand it The smell putting on a person's shoes Yeah I mean When you put it like that If I go into a home I'll take my shoes off My shoes are off right now And we let you wear rental shoes Yeah we have

There's some places where they'll give you slippers in their home Oh that'd be nice I guess I would be okay with that. But like, yeah, are these just like reused slippers or these you take them with you? Okay, what would you feel better about? Coming into a home and they have a set of slippers that seem fine. Or coming into a home where they give you those booties Like that a repairman Wears over his boots

I do like the idea of wearing those Because you can kind of get a real good slide Going in the kitchen Oh that's true When Poppy takes swimming lessons I sit they have a bunch of those booties Because you're not allowed your shoes on the Pool deck

So instead of taking your shoes off, they let you. Yeah, they let you have a booty over your shoe and it's, they're all wet from the last person walking around. Some are torn. Oh, these are reusable booties. Or no, they're not, but they are reusable. I mean, I have no problem reusing them, but I feel like maybe they ought not to be reused why doesn't bowling do booties that seems like it'd be cheaper than having to have your own shoe store

bowling booties and then that's one problem with bowling i have taken care of yeah and it's also that's my favorite 50s song bowling booties i don't know. Here's your next one. Boogie woogie bowling boobie. Hi, Jason Graham. It's Rio from Toronto. Calling it was never heard. It was incredible. I was on the bus in Toronto and I heard two women speaking.

One of them had their baby with her and the woman without the baby said to the one with the baby, oh my my god it's like maybe your child is like intuitively in tune with the world maybe that's why she likes looking at people and then the other woman looked back and said you know i think you're right i've had a lot of psychic intuition about her i did implant with her while I was on a meditation Retreat And that was just like the best thing I did implant

With her? While I was on a meditation Retreat She got knocked up on a meditation Retreat Is that what she's saying? I don't know We should all be so lucky I implanted with her Or is that

Did she have an in vitro mind meld well well on a meditation retreat cool or some kind of just like while meditating she meditated a baby into existence or meditated her existing baby like they formed a bond oh yeah like mom yeah mummy baby but like the fact is yeah the first woman saying oh she must have some kind of stillness with the world or whatever what was it intuition intuition that's why she likes looking at faces maybe she's a baby though yeah as opposed to all the other babies that just look down yeah ground and wait till they're older. Jangle some keys at them. See what that does. No one says anything positive about me when I like looking at faces.

On the bus. Look, that guy likes looking at faces. He must be in tune with the world. He doesn't have a staring problem. No,

he has a staring achievement. He's vaping. That's wild. Well, that brings us to the end of this here podcast. Peter, you and your sketch partner Chris will be at the Havana. Yes, that's right.

Thursday, Friday, Saturday of this week. At 8 p.m. At 8 p.m. And you guys haven't appeared together for quite some time. So this is a special event. We got in a big fight. A huge fight. Yeah.

And then we didn't talk for two and a half years. So naturally the show is very underwritten. Yeah. But. Yeah. No, it's probably one of our favorite ones that we're kind of shaking the dust off and doing it again. We've been working on it actually over the phone and kind of going over the script and like, what do we want to change?

What do we like? What's, you know, like literally on the phone. Yeah. That's how Chris and I write a lot. Now you don't do, you know, you know,

Skype. Okay. You tell me about how you feel about Skype. I feel like the timing gets thrown off. If you're trying to pitch a joke or trying to, you know, and then the, you know,

the, there's the delay with the audio and then maybe your connection slows down for a second and everything pauses for a bit yeah and then you and you're staring at this like still screen you're like you haven't laughed yet what'd you think of the joke Dave's doing his character the Skype comedian yeah tomato shumka tomato shumka that's funny um no I

yeah it's fine but yeah it's gonna be at 8pm all three nights go get tickets at jflnorthwest.com sure what do I what do I know

specifically you go you too go get tickets there um uh also this weekend uh on the 22nd

I will be doing quiz show at the Fox Cabaret Saturday Saturday nice that is a good show yeah it's a fun

yeah it's a fun show it's gonna be good time everybody's gonna have fun Dave anything to plug oh no nope just

just his line of wine glasses yeah smash ems smash ems No. Nope. All right. Just, uh, just his line of wine glasses. Yeah. Uh, smash them. Smash them. Is there a chance I got like stage wine glasses? Candy glass.

Yeah. Just break it. Uh, uh, well, thanks everybody out there for listening. If you like the show, why not tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

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