Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 629 - Adam Christie

Episode Date: April 6, 2020

Comedian Adam Christie (Zoink’d) joins us to talk Zoink’d, hockey season wrap-up, and up-close magic.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 629 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who, you know, he tried to do his best to buy two pounds of coffee and he found that there was no room at the inn for him, Mr. Dave Schumke. Yeah, normally I go to the coffee shop, I buy a pound of coffee.

I told this story. It's a great story. It's a great story. And I buy a pound and they give you a free coffee to drink on your way out. And I said,

you know what? We're recording this in the midst of COVID-19. I don't know what the world will be like when we release it. No, no way of knowing.

Feel very weird about that. But, um, uh, I said, uh, I'll get two, two pounds.

And they said, we're limiting people to half a pound per person. So I went back with a mustache. Yeah. You went back with a top hat and a mustache. No, but I really felt like one of these, these,

uh, toilet paper panic buyers. Oh, I'll, uh, you know, you can't, uh,

you can't wipe your ass with the coffee beans no um so you're fine yeah that's what i'm saying uh our guest today uh first time guest here on the podcast very funny comedian uh last year won the serious xm top comic competition got to travel all over the world because of it it's's Adam Christie. Hi, everybody. Oh, I'm peaking already. Oh, boy. Oh, our test was, I was good volume then, and now I'm a nightmare.

Yeah, coming in hot. First time, last time. Let's just turn you down a bit there. Thank you. Okay. All right. Should we get to know us? Yeah.

Get to know us. Adam. Adam, tell us tell us spin us a yarn tell us about you me yeah well i'm in vancouver british columbia for uh supporting my girlfriend as she's working on a television show yeah record scratch except i'm leaving tomorrow now because as they Dave mentioned, we're recording this in February of 2020. So I think it's safe to say I'd like to put the stance that this is not going to be a big thing. This whole COVID.

It's a flu, right? Yeah. I just invested in a lot of RSPs. Yes. Yes. Good place to park your money. Is there any place To put your money

That's good right now Mattress That's true Shoe box You know Whatever But no We just found out

That my girlfriend's job Will be ending today Or it ended a few hours ago They did a half day So we're gonna go back Tomorrow Yeah To back to Toronto

Cause Things are bad Yeah Well it's We consider ourselves lucky That we were able to Have you here on the podcast tomorrow. Yeah. Back to Toronto, because things are bad. Yeah, well, we consider ourselves lucky that we were able to have you here on the podcast while you were in town. And I feel the same way. Yeah. See, listeners, we... I was supposed to go away on

spring break with my family. Yeah. But instead, we're going to have the two wet t-shirt contests at home. I watched the thing. Uh, and so, but instead we're going to have to do wet t-shirt contest at home. Oh, I watched the thing. Uh, but,

but, but let me finish. Uh, we, we, so we pre-taped a bunch where, and this is the last of the ones we were pre-tape taping. Uh,

and so like, we're probably not going to record in for at least two weeks. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Two, maybe, you know,

15, 14 days at least. Right. Well, yeah. Yeah. Maybe, you know, 15, 14 days at least. Right. But, yeah, we don't know what state the world will be in. I'm guessing it will be very bad. Yes. I feel very uncomfortable making jokes because in three weeks, my God. Yeah, yeah. We're not here to make light of it, but going back to the wet t-shirt thing. But are we not? We're not here to make light of it, but going back to the wet t-shirt thing. But just so you know, if things seem very bad, we recorded this knowing they would,

but not knowing specifically what happened. Yes. People know. They understand. Yeah, we're just joking around. It's going to be hard to feed my grandma like a baby bird though this week that's what i do every weekend he's a good guy yeah he's a good guy that uh during mardi gras they throw those beads there's a whole team that goes out on the street after to like suck all the beads out of the storm drains and stuff

it's like a whole like that's their whole job with like vacuums yeah they've got vacuums and hooks and because the everything becomes completely clogged with plastic beads oh my god those are plastics oh wait dude is mardi gras right now no it was a couple yeah it was well this episode is coming out the monday before easter and mardi gras was 40 days before that. Right. Before Easter. And 30 days has September, April, June, and November. Yeah.

The rest have 31. Yeah. Except for February. That's no fun. Oh, is that how that runs? I don't know how it ends. I've never known how it ends either. But guys, I'm good.

My story is, you know, I'm a six foot four. Yeah. Six foot four. Here's what I know about Adam. Because I, in the early days of this podcast, there were not very many other podcasts. Right. Right. But I remember, I think Adam has two connections to this show.

It's Adam? Yeah. In the early days, Adam and Bob Kerr had their own podcast. We were the other podcast. They were the other podcast In Canada There was two And only one survived Yeah

What was it called? It was called Hold Your Applause Hold Your Applause Yeah And Mark Ford Was later a host on it Mark Ford

Came on And he was a host And then We all got just Too dang busy to do it We were like This whole podcast This whole podcasting thing

Won't take off And then now Everyone's got a podcast. No, I feel like I'm the only person without a podcast. You are the only person without a podcast.

You should do a podcast about that. Can I rent all this equipment? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Cool.

We, and I just remember listening to that and I knew, I remember your body was described quite a bit. I knew you were very tall and pale.

Thank you. I thought, where very tall and pale. Thank you. Where did you get a compliment out of that? Well, I mean, there's worse things for your body to be. That's true.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, here's the secret about my body is it looks way worse when there's no clothes on it. Well, I think a lot of buddies

can claim that, you know? Yeah. Shout out to shirts for keeping everything in. Shirts, sweatshirts, long coats. Let me tell you, I have a concave chest and I have a little gut and we put those two together. It's a real peaks and valleys. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like Grover. Yeah. I would say I have the body of Grover or E.T. Oh, E.T. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I have the body of Grover Or E.T. Oh E.T. Yeah Sometimes I look in the mirror And I see the extraterrestrial

And there's the children There's a child down there The children are screaming The children are screaming These kids are on spring break outside But you know what We're getting by While we still can

So you Last year you won the This big national competition. Yep. Yep. Uh, Sirius XM, which entitled you to travel to different, uh, just for last festivals. Uh-huh. And you got to go to Australia.

Mm-hmm. First time ever? First time ever. What were your, what were your thoughts on Australia? I thought it was very cool. Although I was only there for five days and, um, I'm told that's not, uh, how long you should go. And, uh. Because of things to see or

because of jet lag well because of jet lag yeah because it is a 24-hour flight from halifax nova scotia which i was at wow and um so seven days in total and two of those were in the sky and um yes but it was very beautiful and i got to perform at the sydney opera house that's's amazing And I got to walk around and look at things I wish that I would have taken more time off To look around, maybe go to Melbourne Maybe go to the Outback See Uluru I was told that we don't call it Ayers Rock anymore

It's Uluru Which is very cool And I was in a car and I was like, I would have loved to see Ayers Rock And then everyone went, whoa, hey. Oh, boy. Is that like, okay. Like I was some old grandpa saying something wrong.

Yeah. So it's not like calling whatever the name of the tower is the Sears Tower. Yeah. Which is fine. Everybody's fine with that. They didn't change the naming rights. Yeah. I hope I can go to the TD Canada Trust Rock. Whoa. with that. They didn't change the naming rights. Yeah, I hope I can go

to the TD Canada Trust, uh, Rock. Whoa, whoa, hey! It's Rogers Center to you.

Did you, did you get to do anything like very typically like Australian? Like, did you get to see a koala?

Did you get to hold a boomerang? No, I actually went to a bunch of comics went to the zoo and uh instead of going to the zoo i went to top man to buy a suit oh so i saw the top man oh yeah top man good deal what deal the um how's that how uh what's your suit size 40 long yes yeah wait what is what does that mean oh for a suit jacket yeah yeah i think i'm like 44 long 44 44 long wow my patreon whoa whoa what's your patreon slash out of christy suits what's your

pit to pit my pit to pit yeah which going which way uh because again concave does a little bit of detouring yeah i don't think when you measure for a suit, well, that part is not covered. Well, no, but you have to take it into account. Some shirts, I mean, you can see a little. Oh, wow. Here's a quick fact about my chest is you can see my heart beating in it. Oh, really? Yeah, like the telltale heart in that Simpsons episode.

Like a baby bird. And maybe from the Edgar Allan Poe story, but I don't know. It's hard to say. I learned it in that Simpsons episode. Like a baby bird. And maybe from the Edgar Allan Poe story, but I don't know. It's hard to say. I learned it from The Simpsons. Yeah. Hey, I'm not going to lie and say I know that book from not The Simpsons.

Poem or play or poem. Yeah. Okay, guys. It's got to be a poem because it rhymes, right? Isn't that the shortcut? But does it? You're thinking of The Raven. If it rhymes, it's raven. If it rhymes.

It's poetry time. If it doesn't. If it doesn't. Prose before host. The other connection, I believe, I believe this is correct. Oh, my God. Is we once did a live show in Calgary. Yes.

uh we once did a live show in calgary yes and a major topic of this live show was a tv show that graham and i both watched oh yeah on the flight to calgary that was a kids show that was kind of like america's got talent kind of like the gong show yeah where basically buskers came out and if the kids the three kid judges cool kid cool kid very cool oh yeah yeah uh didn't like this performer they would uh hit a button yeah and slime or something would fall on the performer they've i think we both know what it was yeah yeah come on we could all call it what it is some fuck around dave well i only saw this once on the plane. Sorry. What?

And the show was called Zoinked. Yeah, and that's what it's called when a child would buzz. Okay, but what falls on the... It's different. It would be different each time. So usually, and the host of the show... Sitting right here. Thank you, everybody.

Adam. Christy. There. Biggest celebrity you have this month? Most of the show is sitting right here. Thank you, everybody. Adam. Christy. There. Biggest celebrity you have this month? Biggest celebrity guest? Absolutely. I mean, it's a new month. Oh, right, right.

Yes, it would be mostly slime. Right. But then sometimes depending, because if someone's, you know, roller skating around. Right. You can't slime them oh yeah yeah for the lord yeah legal reason so you would uh you know it would be like ball like balls or so if someone had like an animal you don't slime the animal yeah i think they'd also do that in like post or they'd be just like flashing lights because anything anything sounds bad for an

animal i think i mean i don't know what type. Okay. I got to. How many episodes of Zoink did you host? I think 26. It was less than 30. But we did two seasons. Okay.

I had nominated for a damn CSA for Zoink. Get out. Lost to Art Zuka. Still a bit bitter about it. still a bit bitter about it but listen I thought that that was gonna take that was gonna be my ticket

like that was gonna be your Jeopardy to Alex Trebek just be coming in forever 40 years from now still doing Zoinks you know how Alex Trebek famously did Jeopardy and then a bunch of movies. And then moved on to Classic Concentration. And he was Snoke in the Star Wars movies.

And you thought that would be a stepping stone to a greater show. Sure. And actually, you know what that was a stepping stone to is I hosted, are you guys familiar with The Zone on YTV? Yes. So I, for three months, hosted The Zone and then was a correspondent on The Zone. So are you PJ Adam? No, they got rid of PJ. Because, yeah, PJ Fresh Phil, I don't know about you guys, but that guy was my guy.

Yeah, that guy kicked ass. Yeah, yeah. And Snit, remember Snit? I don't remember i mean you guys have american listeners we should say that this is like uh interstitial programming for canadian children's television so i believe it was nick cannon the nickelodeon one oh i don't know like the american equivalent yeah yeah Would he come on In between He I think he had He was on a

Sketch show Okay That was I think Geared at kids Right But this is Yeah so What I'm saying is

I am the Nick Cannon Of Canadian television Oh that's not bad You know what Nick Cannon There's a guy Who never stopped working No

You know He just bounces From show to show And married to Mariah Carey Was Was Yeah Oh no Her baby daddy Oh Yeah Oh you Oh you didn't hear work you know he just bounces from show to show and married to mariah carey i was yeah oh no her baby daddy oh yeah oh you oh you didn't hear it's been years they've been apart for years i've been asking nick about mariah for years you're like nick tell me is mariah the max singer come on let

me know he's the host of the mass singer that's That's his big gig now. Is he really? He is, yeah. And I'm over here getting my yuck yucks gig canceled by coronavirus. Two different lives. Ships in the night. Is that what that means? No. You and Nick Cannon were two ships in the night. Two ships in the night. Because I love game shows.

Yep. As you know, I host my own live game show here. Quiz show. Quiz show. So much fun. Was it fun know, I host my own live game show here. Quiz show. Quiz show. So much fun. Was it fun? Is it fun to host a game show?

It was such a damn blast. And it was actually the first thing I ever got. It was like the first thing. I remember I got married. I used to be married. I got married. And right when I got married, we then, I got that show and I was able to not work a day job. Nice. You know know live my life and then i got all these other kids things and then uh yeah it was it was kind of the nice taking off thing how and did it end uh did the show end when you're married to it was it

were they related yeah they were related in the car and actually in the um what do you call that prenuptial agreement is that if this we were handcuffed to Zoinked our relationship if Zoinked ever got cancelled yeah it was

I mean the relationship was going great but till Zoinked do your part the the funny thing like

because when I was a kid there was a show there was a like a regional game show in Calgary or Western Canada called Kid Street. I remember that. Do you remember Kid Street? Yeah, in Ontario.

Yeah, it was hosted by... They used to clap above their heads. That's right. And it was hosted by an improviser named Kevin Frank, who still, I think, is with Second City in Toronto. Don't know. In some capacity. But I remember seeing him in Toronto and being like what? like starstruck

oh my god it's Kevin Frank and you're probably that for some kid out there well let me tell you that as someone who has lived it no one gives a fuck about me because I mean this show was on

like 8 years ago, so a lot of the kids that were on the show and a lot of kids who watch the show are now adults. And no, Dave, you are the first person in years to mention it. When the show was on television,

I would walk down past I would make, I would go on Google Maps and I and i go i have that special um thing where you say this destination to this one do not avoid schools take me to every elementary school so i can be showered in praise autograph sign i'll leave early so i can you know leave all that time for shaking hands and kids and, you know, point fingers and taking pictures. And I'd walk by like kids walking down the street. No one gives a fuck.

Nobody? It's funny because like it will happen at some point. You'll either run into somebody at the bar that's like, I was the kid that could play two recorders at the same time. And you'll be like, oh, yeah, great. Oh, yeah. I do get some adults that were on the show yeah okay because it was the bus they were like buskers yeah basically and i remember graham when we did the live episode uh i believe the guests were amanda brook parren and ryan bellville that's

right because amanda's brother was on it oh really yes um was he doing acape. Was he doing acapella? He was doing acapella, yes. This is very good. What were they called? Like the Squirty Boys or something? I think they were the Squirty Boys. Yeah, the Squirty Boys. Yeah. Yeah.

They were Canada's number one prank phone call and acapella dude. When you ask what they were called, I feel like they were maybe called the acapella fellas? Yeah. Yeah, they absolutely were. Why do I know that? They were called the acapella fellas. I've got a weird memory

for things like this, but I do remember Graham saying, how many steps is my career away from being one of the people who goes on Zoinks? And then Dave said, up or down?

Up or down? Up or down? Up or down? Up or down? Up or down? Up or down? Up or down? There were comedians on Zoinks.

I won't say who, but there were some comedians okay all right yeah um wow mysterious mysterious very mysterious um go to my patreon get me a suit get me a suit 42 long oh and i'll tell you that's the that's the one suit a month uh thing i have a question about yeah because sizing no about like the patreon. There's a thing a lot of people are saying that is like Patreon called OnlyFans. Is that just a porn thing? I think I've heard that's a porn thing. That's a porn thing.

Okay. So I can't start an OnlyFans? You can. Oh, okay. I don't think they can make you be porny. I like the sound of this. What if it's just me watching old, I don't know, something weird. John Wayne movies. Is it the type of thing where they pay you to do things? No. of this like what if it's just me watching old i don't know something weird john wayne movies

is it the type of thing where they pay you to do things um uh no they subscribe to your content they subscribe like uh like kind of like like a patreon like a patreon but for porn but i yeah yeah can porn directors be on patreon i guess not i guess that's why this other thing exists i mean good on porn actors because i i mean i, I think I've seen a documentary where they don't make a lot of money anymore. Or as much as they would in the 80s. You couldn't go, listen, things got tough after Zoinked, I'll tell you. And yeah, now it's all personal. Personal.

Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, now it's all I think it's all personal Yeah, I don't think There's no I'm struggling to come up with one porn actress's name Right Who's the Trump

Jenna Jameson No, no, no Stormy Daniels Jenna Jameson is like an anti-vaxxer Conspiracy theorist Maybe Is that Jim carrey's ex-wife no no jenna jameson was it but she was a she was a who was jenny mccarthy jenny mccarthy

is who you're thinking yeah no anti-vaxxer well no i think jenna jameson is also is everyone with the initials jj a anti-vaxxer and are jenny mccarthy's initials jj we'll be right back um i feel like there's a little bit like jenna jameson was like the famous porn star when i was in college yeah yeah um and i feel like i have to acknowledge that because i feel like we're there's a little too much of like huh i'm I'm not entirely sure who a porn star is in this conversation. I don't know. Oh, I think I've heard of OnlyFans. Oh, but I've never been to it.

I've heard of Jenna Jameson. The truth is, I have heard of OnlyFans. Yeah. And I have not. I'm not paying money. I've heard of OnlyFans. I didn't know. And I assumed because everybody that was posting about it

was making some kind of sexual reference. But I didn't know that that was like a lot. What's a sexual reference? Like one of those stick men with a boner. You know what I mean? Stick men with a boner? Like the number eight and then the three equal signs and then the letter D? I'm going to start an account.

Listen, I'm going to start a porno account. And it's going to be called stick man with a boner. And it's shooting out tildes. And you can see my concave. I'll eat stuff out of it. I'll get one of those little tech decks. Remember those little thingies? I'll do a little half pipe in my concave chest.

This is good OnlyFans content. Oh, it's that concave, is it? Oh, yeah. I mean, I don't want to see it I mean I'm not asking you to show it to me We talked about this once on the show About celebrities that have the concave chest What?

Like who's the The guy from Gilmore Girls DJ Qualls The guy from Gilmore Girls My middle name is Gilmore What? Are we part of the concave army? Concave conclave?

Was his name Kirk? Was he Kirk? Wait, what's a conclave? Is that a concave conclave? Yeah. What's a conclave? I don't know. I know what an enclave is.

I think, what's a concubine? A concubine is like a servant? Is like a sex servant? Oh, maybe a sex servant. Maybe like the only fans of the old times. Yeah. Yeah. What's a concave? A conclave. A conclave? Maybe the only fans of the old times. Yeah. What's a concave?

A conclave. A conclave? Yeah. Can we look up what a conclave is? I don't know if it's a bad thing or a good thing. I don't want to say bad thing. I know you definitely can't say Irish rock anymore. Yeah. Conclave is the assembly of cardinals for the election of a pope.

Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. That's exactly what I'm talking about. A concave conclave. And an enclave. Sometimes white smoke starts coming out of a pope. Oh, shit. Oh, yeah. That's exactly what I'm talking about. A concave conclave. And an enclave. Sometimes white smoke starts coming out of my mouth. An enclave is a country completely surrounded by another country. Right.

Like Andorra. No. Vatican City? Yeah, Vatican City I wouldn't call a country. Is Andorra in the water? I don't know about Andorra. There's one in South Africa. Okay.

Okay. I believe you. Yeah. Yeah. I can't name it. I want to say Djibouti, but I also want to see Djibouti. Oh, nice. So you were a game show host for a couple of years.

What were the kids like? Yeah. Were they as sassy as they seemed? Yeah. They were all very fun. They were all great. Who dressed them? They were all fun kids.

There was someone who dressed the kids. They feel like they dressed really cool. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, these kids were cool kids. They were like,

I think the thing about the casting of the kids was that- Was it the same kids in every episode? No. Oh, okay. Because there's laws

when there's children on set, you can't have a child on set for like 10 hours. It's child labor or something. Right. So we would film two episodes a day and- Two episodes a day, it would take 10 hours. It would take about 10 hours. Wow. Because the goo would be on the ground and then we'd have to clean up because the next person juggling fire sticks could slip on the goo.

Wow, there was that much goo. Yeah. What was the, one time I had a, I had a, I had a tiny little earpiece and there was a, um, there was,

so there was the stage and then there was a, there was a little ramp to catch the goo and, um, a trough, a trough, a goo trough. Yep. Thank you.

Um, a goo conclave. And one time I was, I was like talking to the studio audience and the earpiece popped out and into the goo and then it broke and they had to get me another one. And I was like,

sorry about that earpiece. That sucks. And then the sound guy was like, yeah, it's a $12,000 earpiece. Whoa! Oh, shit.

Just, you just dropped it. Was it? you just zoinked my ears you think it would be if at that price it would be like molded just to your ear nope they wouldn't just get some no drugstore drugstore speaker yeah just wow slopped it in there uh yeah what were they what was being said to you is it like we need to take that again? Or were you being fed like lines? No, just take that again. Okay.

Yeah. I don't think I was being fed lines. I mean, it was so long ago. Because I wonder, like, when I'm watching. Because you said some really funny stuff. I bet. Wait, you guys were watching it on a plane? Yeah.

I haven't, I've not heard this episode. For all I know, you could have been like, this piece of shit host was a piece of shit. And now, later, we're all best friends going on vacation together. Yeah. I haven't, I've not heard this episode for all. I know you could have been like this piece of shit host was a piece of shit. And now later we're all best friends going on vacation together. Yeah. I think I knew Aruba. Here we go. I knew not to say that. Um,

that was from our voodoo lounge show. That's weird. And people kept sending us Jaeger Meister to drink. Well, and we did, and we did. And we were like, why, why?

Why us? Why now? Why not 10 years ago when I was into this? So then after the game show, then what happened? Yeah. Oh, you're not talking about every night? No, no, no.

Do I have any more zoinked questions? Well, think it over. No, no, no. Yeah, after the day. Do I have any more zoinked questions? Well, think it over. Yeah, think it over. But after that, no, I got... Sorry, can I stop? Absolutely. What would you remember, like, in a given episode, how many contestants would go on?

I think eight. Eight? And it would be cut down to seven or six? Uh-huh. And, like, what was the success rate? How many... Oh, it varies dave and were the kids ever coached like no we can't zoink everyone not not at all oh wow kids

were given free reign like a chucky cheese oh i used to work at chucky cheese what uh-huh okay this is now this before anything anything with guru ball, I've done it. I've been there. Ask me about it. How old were you when you worked at Chuck E. Cheese? 16, and I had my first panic attack. First of many. Do you mind describing what happened? I was repairing a game.

Okay. Because here's the fun thing about Chuck E. Cheese. All the games are made of corn syrup. And they all... Sometimes the syrup gets hot and the games explode. And many people, kids would run up to you and they'd be like, there's no tickets in the gumball drop machine. And you'd be like, okay, okay. So you'd walk over and you'd get new tickets and you'd put them in.

I remember. How many do you think you won this time so this was a time that everything was breaking around like every game was broken like the the thing toss and the what's it who knows and i was i was pulling putting like a stack of tickets into a machine and there was like six kids around me and like yelling like this was broken or like somebody peed in the slide. I remember like, I think I was clutching the tickets so hard and they like sprung out and like went everywhere. Oh man. And I had to, I just looked down and all these kids were screaming at me and I looked up into middle space and i like my heart was pumping and i was like i have to leave right now and i remember i went into the broom closet and sat down for like 10 minutes wow and

my manager opened the broom closet and i was just sitting there in the broom closet he's like are you sitting in the broom closet i was like yeah and he's like okay okay this happens all the time yeah you're new here and uh this is just so you know this is a twelve thousand dollar broom closet yeah most people that are panicking uh go up on stage under the the chucky cheese uh animatronic and you can just relax in there it'll do all the movements for you i i they made me do one time the guy who was chucky cheese uh got sick and they made me be chucky cheese because i was games room guy right but so uh the guy who was chucky cheese i can't remember his name but

he got the flu so they're like this you got the flu in the suit got the flu in the suit so like you put it on and you dance for the kids you You don't know any of the coordinated dances. I remember I was too tall for the suit. So you could literally see my arms and my neck and my collar. And I remember a kid literally was like, I can see your collar. You're not Chuck E. Cheese. You're just one of the games room guys. You're the guy that dropped the tickets earlier.

You're the guy I saw crying in the broom closet. You said I wasn't supposed to be in here. And you can't talk as Chuck E. Cheese. You can't like take off the thing. That seems like the best, like a panic attack waiting to happen. Oh, yeah. You're trapped in this suit. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And I remember going to dance to different birthday parties because there's three birthday parties and then the last one i went to i went down to hug the little girl and my because you don't know the volume of your face so i smashed this little girl in the face with my huge plastic nose you don't know the volume of your face but just like yeah so just if you're looking for far away it's just like a headbutt to the girl. Yeah. So just if you're looking from far away

it's just like I headbutted this girl. And then she was like you hit me in the head and I was like finish your pizza and then I'd go back to the room.

Yeah, that was Chuck E. Cheese's favorite slogan was finish your pizza and get out. But when you were Chuck E. Cheese you'd have an escort. There was a special Chuck E. Cheese's favorite slogan was finish your pizza and get out. But when you were Chuck E. Cheese, you'd have an escort. There was a special Chuck E. Cheese escort in case you started to get kicked. The person, the other employee who was with you would help get the kids away.

Because often Chuck E. Cheese would get kicked. What do you do for a living? I'm an escort. Excuse me. Oh, Chuck E. Cheese. No, no. would get kicked. What do you do for a living?

I'm an escort. Excuse me. Oh, at Chuck E. Cheese. No, no. I remember going to Chuck E. Cheese sometime in my 20s because it was in Edmonton and there was nothing to do in the area we were in,

but there was a Chuck E. Cheese. And you could drink beer at the Chuck E. Cheese. And the whole time I was picturing a guy sitting at one of the tables who, like, this was his regular bar for some of the years, and then it shut down and became a Chuck E. Cheese, and he was like, fuck it.

Well, yeah, this is where I go. And just, but... Best band in the city. They know all this. Tightest Band in the Best kept secret Around here They're never gonna leave

And join a major label This is Indie Rock Yeah Were you allowed To drink beer When you worked there? Oh yeah Unlimited beer

When you were No you weren't No the adults Like we're adults Oh no I wasn't an adult I was 16 years old We're adults Oh yeah yeah no, I wasn't an adult. I was 16 years old. We're adults.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Adults were allowed. But it was a two-drink maximum. Nice. Yeah, you were not allowed to get served more than two drinks. Did you get a minimum of hand-stamped? You had to get hand-stamped on your way in. Do you guys know about this?

Yes. You have to match? Well, you have to. There's a person at the door who stamps your hand with an invisible stamp and then when you're leaving, they put a blue light or a dark light and then they see the stamp and you're allowed to leave and that's so you don't abduct children. Yeah, I've been to places where

they have like wristbands that have you know, your names and numbers have to match. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Huh. Hey, Dave, are you going to take your kid to Coachella? They need to match your wrist. I don't know what this is. Who is this character? This is a bad. Listen, Iella they need to match your I don't know who this is this is a bad listen I'm a stand up I don't do characters

I disagree also no one asked you to the have you ever seen the thing that was the predated Chuck E. Cheese it was this thing called entertainment pizza all the Chuck E. Cheese. It was this thing called Entertainment Pizza.

All the Chuck E. Cheeses were this at some point. And then they all got bought out and turned into Chuck E. Cheese. Was it the one from the Rockafire Explosion? Yeah, the Rockafire Explosion was the name of the band. And the pizza place was called, I think it was called Entertainment Pizza. Oh, so they didn't end because of a tragic explosion. No, no. The band was called the Rockafire Explosion. Yeah, and they.'t end because of a tragic explosion. No, no. The band was called

the Rock and Fire Explosion. Yeah, and they, then they. Like the Brian's Jonestown Massacre is not a real Brian Jonestown Massacre. But the Chuck E. Cheese Corporation bought them all out

and turned them all into Chuck E. Cheeses. And then Chuck E. Cheeses are still around. They are still around. And I think adults can go there now. I think you can go alone

to a Chuck E. Cheese now. We did. It was a group of, it was a group of adults. We all went and we drank and we go alone to a Chuck E. Cheese now. We did. It was a group of, it was a group of adults. We all went and we drank and we played to skee-ball. Good lord. Which is,

I guess, what Dave & Buster's is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it's pretty cheap. I think it's cheaper than Dave & Buster's though. Like to play games at a Chuck E. Cheese.

But then you're also at a Chuck E. Cheese with a lot of kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a lot of urine. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Here's the thing about peeing in a ball pit.

Impossible to clean. Of course, of course. You try yeah. Here's the thing about peeing in a ball pit. Impossible to clean. Of course. You try, but there's just piss in there now. It's not like they have a wealth of balls that they are recycling.

Yeah, yeah. There's just piss in there. I know at IKEA, the policy is to go into the ball pit at IKEA. You have to be out of... You can't have had diarrhea in the last 24 hours yeah

they look at a stamp on your hand oh no it says you peed and then the stamp always knows why does ikea have an h in it oh it's like you're a diary anyway why am i doing spelling i'm a stand-up i'm not a character i'm not a spelling guy um i uh but you have to be out of diapers, which seems counterintuitive. Oh, sorry. Like, I'm fresh out of diapers. I don't have any, so I can let my kid go in there. Like, the kid has to be old enough that they don't wear diapers anymore. Which is, like, keep them in diapers.

Yeah, that's true. Give every kid a diaper. Yeah, put a diaper on top. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Huh. Yeah, I guess all the time I spent in ball pits, I never realized how disgusting they were. Oh, they're rude, crude with a bad attitude.

They're gross. Because people would be in the ball pit and they'd be like, what do we do? People would. Kids would. Yeah. Kids would. Some guy who didn't obey the two-day law. The worst

The worst day is when You would be closing up And you'd be like Thank god I get to go home And you'd You'd have to do a Every Someone would have to do

A run of the slide Which Or the The tube The sky tubes A run Or you'd have to go through All the sky tubes

Like Just to see what's up Oh no Oh god And first of all A bony piece of shit like me Hurts Yeah Like the sky

tube hurts yeah like you're on your like knees and it's like clinking around yeah bolts sticking out like kids can go like drop on their knees like yeah if i dropped from my standing position onto my knees i'd go to the hospital yes like and i'd be there a long time yeah yeah yeah yeah kill me yeah but i remember being a kid and being like goalies no nets and i'll just drop to my knees in the concrete it's fine yeah so you'd go through the sky tubes and you'd have to see if a kid peed in there and oftentimes yes yeah and you'd have to like get out of the sky tubes and you have to bring in like a bunch of paper towel and disinfectant you have to do it all it's like then you have to take all this piss like toilet paper and stuff like through the sky

tubes again without touching anything so they didn't they their policy for cleaning up piss was just like send a teen up what what like just a handful of toilet paper yeah yeah just just soak it up soak it up as much as possible yeah yeah yeah um there's no there's no like urine rag with chuck e cheese's face on it just know if you're going to a chuck e cheese the cleanup policy is all done by 16 year old who right we're supposed to leave five minutes yeah yeah that's right it's they're not getting paid to stay later and so let's get out of here yeah yeah and they're not getting paid a lot i remember i was making 6 45 an hour what wow which is probably i mean the minimum wage in some

u.s states still that's but i guess there's like a different i never had a job as a teenager oh i guess i did have i was a hockey referee briefly. But I don't remember if there was like, I know in some places there's like a separate minimum wage for underage. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they had the training wage or something like that. Yeah. Because it's not like you're doing a, you're doing a, they're not giving you a great job to do either. No, cleaning out the sky tubes is a pretty great job. It sounded fun. I mean, you're in a, they're not giving you a great job to do either. No,

cleaning out the sky tubes is a pretty great job. It sounded fun. I mean, you're in the sky tubes. People pay to be in the sky tubes. I mean, I guess there are some cool jobs that kids have. Like they get to push the zoink button.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's a cooler job. I mean, you get some piss on you in the sky tubes. Piss is sterile.

That's right. The whole time forever. Probably the cleanest place in the whole restaurant up to and including the kitchen um decent pizza though yeah the pizza was all right this is phenomenal oh my god so good i mean it's been a while it's been about 16 years since i worked at one. You do the math. I'm about my ages. 32. Oh, no, I'm 33. Oh, no. Oh, shit.

Oh, God, no. I just aged a year. Oh, what's my age again? This podcast. It's coming true. Blink-182. You know what pisses me off about missing the Junos the most? Do we mention that I miss the Junos?

Well, our guest last week on the show, recorded three days ago, Steph Tolove. Oh, yeah. She was your competitor. I can't believe it. Is that what she was like? Canceled The Junos She was nominated

For the Junos And as a teenager She Was obsessed with Blink-182 That's right Oh she was And horny for it though

Oh yeah I believe she's She Oh yeah I've seen some old photos Of Steph Tolove Okay I remember my best friend In high school Her email email was marktomandtravis at hotmail.com.

And they're like, one day they're going to come wanting this. I'll be able to sell this email account. But you were going to say, the thing that bothers you about missing the Judas... Sum 41 was going to be there. My generation's blinked. That's right. And by my generation, I mean one year younger

than Steph Tolo. Cone, Brown Sound, Derek, the other one. It's two weeks in a row we've named all of them Stevo. Stevo! Woo! I will say what was their first song that came out fat lip

but that video i don't think there's another video that looks like people are having as much fun as that at a party you want to know some trivia about that video yes i deeply do one time i tweeted as a joke i tweeted um oh yeah you know who my wife is. It's the woman in the Fat Lib video who gets her head shaved. And to this day, I would say I get every six months, someone replies to me saying, holy shit, dude, that's really cool. Tell her I love that video a lot. Not my wife. She's no wife material.

She keeps shaving her head all over the place. I would never but as soon as you said it i could picture it yeah i'd be able to pick her out of a lineup for sure yeah um the uh do you know where they what where they got their name some 41 yeah oh i'm dying to yeah i would like to know oh do know. Should we do an ad right now so people will come back after the ad? Sure, we don't do ads. You know what? So we'll save it for the overheards. I overheard that they got their name.

Wait, how did they get their name? Do you think it's going to be a dumb reason or a cool reason? I think it's going to be... Like a dumb reason being how Nickelback got their name. How did Nickelback get their name? Oh, well, coming up after this break. But they didn't get their name. Like they gave it to themselves.

Oh, it was Tim Hortons because of Double Double, you get a Nickelback? That's right. Yeah, baby. That's game show host material. They formed their band on the 41st day of summer. Psalm 41! Because you

don't notice at all. We laugh when old people fall. But what would you expect when the country's so small? Heavy metal and mollusks is how we were raised. Made in the peace with the family we pray. And then we find another people's expenses. Boy oh boy Like you know what

It's a great song It's a great song And so is In Too Deep In Too Deep Yeah that's their biggest Spotify song Oh really Yeah By a lot

It's a fun It's a party That's a good video too That's the diving board Yeah Oh yeah yeah yeah Yeah Yeah Derek was Oh I mean It's a fun It's a party That's a good video too That's the The diving board Yeah Oh yeah yeah yeah Yeah Yeah Derek was

Oh I mean We talked about Nickelback And Sum 41 Or Avril Lavigne Has Oh married Been married to both Been married to both

Both front men That's right Tribal Charger's next Yeah she She completes the Triforce The lead singer of Tribal Char charger oh here we go the manager of some 41 no this is great at one point anyway oh what was treble oh um no what was it well uh american psycho american psycho was probably their biggest one but they had they had a little before they they were like, they were a little bit more indie before that.

Really? Oh, and that was their like commercial. That was their commercial hit that maybe had Avril Lavigne in the video. No. What was the one with like Avril Lavigne? I know what you're talking about. This is a video where like a bunch of Canadian artists were all in the video. Swollen members were maybe jumping in a pool.

And maybe Gob. Maybe Gob was there. Could Nelly Furtado have been there? Katie Lang. Yeah. Anne Murray. Leonard Cohen.

Leonard Cohen. Jumping in a pool. Yeah, yeah. The McGarigal sisters and Rufus Wainwright were. Neil Young. Rita McNeil. Everybody was there.

Yeah, sure. Gino Vanelli Corey Hart They're all there We're laughing Half those people Were going to be at the Junos Yeah

Ian and Sylvia Were going to do Four strong winds In the pool In the pool Did you have a Like a suit all picked out And everything

No Oh okay No You were i didn't wing it i was just i was just gonna wear a tucked in shirt i mean it's the junos it's the junos like people will uh it's it's musician-y so like it's not suits right scarves lots of scarves a lot of like my cool matching tops and bottoms what about like uh like a leather vest? Yeah, great. Yeah, I was going to wear a leather vest. I was going to wear chaps, leather vest, leather hat.

Oh, yeah. Here's a weird thing. We all get targeted ads, right fellas? Why am I getting targeted? I must have said something out loud near my computer, but it seems to think I want a leather hat. Like a baseball cap?

Like a cab driver kind of style, but then there's a wide variety of styles. It's a leather hat website. Something to wear to the blue oyster. That's right. What about a leather cowboy hat? Show you're really from Alberta. I think wearing a leather hat sounds super hot, first of all. And impossible to clean, I would be my guess.

I don't know. Leather couch is very possible to clean. Yeah, you just want to clean that. How often are you cleaning your hats to begin with? Once a month. Really? Once a month you're cleaning that hat that you're wearing right now. How are you cleaning that hat?

I put a little dish soap in, scrub it. Dish soap? Yeah, yeah. What other kind of soap? You should be washing your hats three times a day. Three times a day. That's right. Let the, you know, sing happy birthday twice while you're washing your hat.

That bothers me. Graham, let me, can I try on your hat? Because we've been, we've always, we share hats. Yeah, we've always shared hats on this show. No, this is not a time to share hats. But here's what bothers me about that, about the whole COVID wash your hands for 30 seconds, sing this song. How about wash your hands until they're done being washed, do you think? Like, just wash your hands and get them all washed.

Because you can wash your hands for 30 seconds, all thumbs. Oh, that's true. Like, there's no directive to like wash the whole hand. No, it's just once 30 seconds all thumbs oh that's true like there's no directive to like wash the whole hand no it's just once 30 seconds is done there are little uh they've made little like little rhyming things and like uh diagrams of what to do oh wait is there a rhyme wash your hands has november knuckles ring All the fingers Well that's the other way of finding out the month With your knuckles

What? Go ahead January February Boy this is just an excuse for Dave to show us his Gigantic wedding band We get it Dave Your wife is rich And Celtic

Um Because the The big knuckle Like The The knuckly part of the knuckle Yeah Is the 31st

As one with 31 months And then you slide down To in between the knuckles Yeah So January, February, March, April May, June, July, August Tap that twice

What? Then go slide back the other way September, October, May, June, July, August. Tap that twice. What? Then go slide back the other way. September, October, November, December. Oh, shit. I just do it my way. Yeah, okay. I just assume they all have 30, and I just at the end of the month when I'm wrong.

You know, that's probably the safe way to do it. It's just always pay your rent on the 30th of every month. Yeah. Except February. You got to do it earlier that month. On the 30th of every month Except February You gotta do it earlier that month I've also heard

Have you heard of The rules about when to eat shellfish Month wise Red sky at night I know that's sailors delight I think you're not supposed to eat shellfish In months Only eat shellfish in months that have an R in them

An R Yeah so don't eat in may june july august anthony bourdain says don't eat fish at a restaurant on a tuesday the fish special on a tuesday is old gross fish he said never eat hollandaise sauce because it's nasty oh yeah right so that's like the day that they don't or they pick up new fish or something well he said that everyone gets their orders and on whatever orders i guess maybe they get their order in like tuesday night or something but he said like the nastiest food that you're eating on a restaurant is a tuesday special and sunday brunch right at a restaurant that is uh not a brunch restaurant so if you're going because they're just unloading all and like the sunday brunch special that's the grossest food you can eat yeah i was watching a documentary

about like people who buy food for restaurants from the there's like big warehouses and like you have to go there and buy from each vendor you know this much uh beef this much fish or whatever at the end of the day, they're just giving shit away for like nothing. And this guy went in and he's just like, I'll take whatever you have. I'll take whatever you have. And he ended up with a giant box of eels.

And so he was trying, he's like on his way to the back to the restaurant. He's like, well, I don't know what you do with eels. Speaking of eels, do you guys game't know what you do with eels. Speaking of eels, do you guys game? No.

I do not. No. Are you a gamer? I've been, my quarantine, I've been playing this game Stardew Valley. Are you guys,

do you guys know what this is? No, tell us. It's like a farming simulator. It looks like the Legend of Zelda kind of like the old classic Legend of Zelda, but it's a farming simulator where you have a farm

and then there's a town and then you can fish and then there's mines in the mountains. What I did all day today I don't have a job and I was like can't even imagine my girlfriend walking onto me while I do this but I was going through town and I

realized I was doing this. I spent my entire morning going through a fake farming town going through people's garbage just to see every day i wake up i water my crops and i head into town to look through the garbage and i did that for three hours this morning wow that's all i. And I listened to you guys' podcast. To jack myself up. Woo! It worked. Paul Tompkins. Woo!

After a big zinger? Yeah! That was just kind of a Seinfeld noise. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, a little Kramer. I can see you as a Kramer type. Thank you. Yeah, you could be definitely.

Huh? Yeah, yeah. One of those? Yeah. Have you ever had the, because you act as well, yeah? Have you ever had Because you act as well Have you ever had The opportunity to be The wacky friend The wacky neighbor Anything like that

It's just waiting for you It's out there Somewhere Somebody's writing it Right now Yeah He can be The wacky neighbor

To one of the working moms Oh that would be nice That would be nice I could be one of the Wacky neighbors To the working mom Yeah Is working moms Owned in the United States of America?

Oh, I don't live there. I think, you know, everything you can get now is all streamable, you know? Oh, yeah. I think it might be on Netflix. Well, I'll send Catherine Reitman a little loaded tweet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. An angry tweet, I'll say. Yeah, it'd be like

do you know that I used to date this woman from the Sum 41 video that shaved her head and she'd be like I would be interested in meeting her man

lots of Canadian alt rock bands rap like cause Barenaked Ladies right there's Sum 41, Help Me Out Guys, because I'm

in pretty deep water here. I feel like, who else? God, there's going to be one more to complete this. I mean, Serial Joe. Oh, did they rap? Well, they were kind of like the, they were more new metal.

Yeah, and they were like teen metal, right? Yeah, they were like of like the They were more new metal Yeah and they were like teen Metal right? Yeah yeah They were like They were like A metal Hanson Right Dare to dream

Metal Hanson Metal Hanson Not a bad name for a band Metal Hanson Like if it was three Three guys with long blonde hair Yeah And they did heavy metal

That would be great That would just That's's going to go viral. Honestly, dress the Hanson brothers in black and that's metal, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like, do you guys remember when, what was it, Pat Boone put out a heavy metal album? Yeah.

No More Mr. Nice Guy, it was called. No. And it was, he was like old timey, like family friendly kind of singer guy. Uh huh. And on the cover he was wearing a black leather vest with no shirt on. I remember it. Yeah. There were a lot of that.

I loved all of those. Like, can you believe William Shatner did an album with Ben Fold? Yes. Yes. People will tell you it's actually good. Yeah. Yeah. Benfold.

Yes. Yeah. People will tell you it's actually good. Yeah. Um, or like I had an album of just like covers of, uh, Saturday morning cartoons. I remember that.

Uh, and then I had a one that was called lounge of Palooza that it was like nineties bands doing lounge music. Oh, nice. Wait, real, like real nineties,

like smashing pumpkins. Um, yeah, let's see. What was it? Was it people doing covers in the style Smashing Pumpkins? Yeah, let's see. What was it? Was it people doing covers in the style of Lounge? Yeah, yeah. Who did like a...

I don't like that. No? I don't like a like a... Despite all the rain. Yeah, it was that. Just a rat in a cage. Yeah. That's my poison.

Yeah, the Heavy Metal Papoon album is I'm sure the same. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, so he's doing head, he's doing like raining blood in a Pat Boone style. I'm guessing.

Yeah. He's not like inward screaming. No, he was doing like, yeah, like war pigs and you know, that kind of thing. Right.

Yeah. Right. Um, I don't know that it was a bad idea. I think probably a lot of people bought that album. Sure. You know, just for the novelty of it. Yeah.

A couple of people who didn't get that it was a novelty album probably bought it because they're Pat Boone fans. That's a big crossover. If you're getting those two. Yeah. People who didn't know it was a novelty and people who bought it for the novelty. That's a big crossover. That's literally everyone. That's true.

Literally everyone in the world bought this album. Yeah, it's genius. Honestly, God, genius. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Well, for one thing, I'm trying to think of a third Indian Canadian band that... What's in there? Damn it. I'm trying to think of the

Gob that had a song where they kind of rapped? No. Don't worry about it. I'm sure we'll go through our Rolodex. We'll put it in the show notes. What's going on with me is we are recording this

the day Idris Elba has COVID-19. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, that's the most recent news. Um, and, uh, so I play, I play hockey. Go team.

I played hockey as a little kid. I stopped playing hockey for 25 years And then I joined a league And Everyone's better than me So much better than me No one else has quit For 25 years No one else has ever quit You should have joined up

In the level That you quit at Yes Like when did you quit? When I was like 13 You should have You should have joined that Yes I should have

Or you should have joined The 14 year old Yeah Well but there's I think that's when they start body contact, and that was... Oh, right, right, right. My mom wouldn't let me. Right. So, my team, we were sending messages back and forth, like, so the league is considering shutting down because of COVID-19.

forth like uh so the league is considering shutting down because of covid19 but uh we have there's a couple of things that uh we're debating whether you know if everyone just brings their own water bottle no spitting no handshakes afterwards right like with the would everyone feel good playing and then they just um no peeing in the ball pit the the rink shut down. So it was like, we can't even, it's not even a conversation. So, now I can debrief my first season back of playing hockey. Oh, yes.

Oh my God. Do you have a stat sheet? Yeah, I do. Okay. Can we pull it up? Can we see your stats? Do you know your Corsi? Your Fenwick?

I don't have my, what are your advanced stats? I don't have my advanced stats. What are, for, say somebody here doesn't understandats, what is a Corsi? Corsi is, well your traditional Stats were always, you know, games played Yeah

Goals, assists, points Plus minus, which is Goals scored when you're on the ice Versus goals, subtracting goals scored Against you when you're on the ice And then advanced stats are like Corsi, Fenwick goals scored when you're on the ice versus goals subtracting goals scored against you when you're on the ice. I see. Okay. And then advanced stats are like.

Corsi, Fenwick. Yeah, but what are they? It's like Corsi is like how many shots on goal happen or towards the goal happen while you're on ice. While you're on ice, not even what you did. While you're on ice. Yeah. Because if people are, because here's the thing,

because people would be like, oh, block shots is good in hockey. But then some, some genius was like, if you're blocking shots, you're on defense when you're on the ice. So it's pretty bad. You shouldn't be blocking shots. Right.

Okay. Uh, my, if that's the case, then I, um, uh, have bad courses.

So what are your, how many games played? Do you? 21, I think. And, uh, how many games played you? 21, I think. And goals, assists, points?

Eight goals. Eight goals? Hey, I thought you said, you know, you were no good. Yeah, yeah.

Eight goals. By four, that's a, that's 30, that's a 32 goal season in the NHL. Eight goals, eight assists.

Oh shit. These are, 64 points. These are games where it's not uncommon for a team to score 10. Okay, well, all right. Oh, do you play no goalie? No goalie hockey?

No goalie soccer nets? Very low on my team. I think maybe the lowest forward on my team in terms of points. Okay. And many players played fewer games than me. You know what? Asterix. Dave played all the games.

And you, like, when you watch hockey, like, professional hockey, people describe how, you know, what players do well. Sure. And they say, like, oh, he's really good without the puck. Yeah. You know, he covers his position well. That was my strength. That was very good.

Yeah. Well, it wasn't very good, but I was best without the puck. Yeah. At the end of the season awards, they give out best without the puck.

He was so good. Don't give him the puck because it'll ruin it for him. He was doing so well without the puck. So, can I ask you this? Because you play different teams. Yeah.

Who's the biggest piece of shit in the league? Oh, um... We don't have to name names. Uh, boy. No, there were some guys who were, like, fighty. Oh, yeah? Like, you want to try to fight you? No, no.

I mean, look, I'm the worst. Like, I might be the worst player in the entire league. In fact, I don't think I might be. I think somebody's got to be. So, so no one, I think people would just like,

you let me be like, okay, let him, let him go. He's not harming us. Uh, well I did, uh,

no, I don't think that I like, I was so, did you chirp anybody? No. Well, I have nothing to back it up. And also like if someone was the biggest piece of shit in the league,

it was not to me because I was probably on the bench. Yeah. Yeah. Or secretly kind of helping out their team. Like, oh man, we like this guy. The other team's being real nice to me. They keep giving me the puck. Well, Dave said, okay, so are you going to stick with it?

Let's get to that. Okay. I did get punched in the head once. Oh, no. What? On purpose? Yeah. Yikes.

At one point, a guy lost the puck A defenseman coming out of his zone Just like lost an edge And the puck went right in front of the net And I was there and I picked it up And I shot and I scored But as I was shooting I fell down And landed on the goalie

And he got very upset with me And punched you in the head With his blocker or trapper? I don't know it was the back of my head I think the trapper Did he say anything to you Hey man Fuck you

Yeah Get out of here Get the fuck off me Yeah And so I And I You know what I said Sorry

Sorry about that Sorry about that buddy I said sorry Right when it happened I said sorry As I was getting off the ice I said sorry In the handshakes later And then later He had to be because there's a rotating goalies yeah uh he was our

goalie in a game a few weeks later said sorry then oh nice was he cool with it yeah man no big deal no big deal but if it happens again it was kind of a big deal when you assaulted me yeah yeah after i will punch you if it happens again. You punched me in the back of the head. But the one thing I would say I was not prepared for, because at the very beginning of the league, of the season, I was not prepared for the muscles that you have to use when you're intensely skating.

Yeah, right. I had been skating. Yeah. But just like I started doing yoga just to compensate just to be able to stretch my body uh in just to recover from playing yeah and i just wasn't like even throughout the season i i was not prepared for how many little injuries there would be like how my hand would just hurt for two weeks or like I would have a finger that would just be yeah in bad shape or this my forearm the muscles of my forearm I don't know if they're

they will ever recover all the small things all the small things that's true um uh but yeah to adam's question I'm taking my talents to South Beach. I'm going to play for the Miami Heat. This is what we wanted to hear. No, I think I'll play again. Good! The season is technically not even over yet because... Right.

Right. Are you going to get some of that money back? Oh. The arena's... I don't know. I don't know about how all of that stuff is working no nobody does no one does with everybody yeah everyone's like uh yeah this is canceled and everyone's like okay great right but does am i getting anything like i know i got my money back for my flight that i

was gonna take for spring break right whoo um i was going to say because you're going to get better people are going to start to not treat you with kid gloves why do you think i'm going to get better well because practice makes perfect yeah yeah and you're you're stretching what have i told you i am not going to practice but you're you know you're going to get back into it that's true you're going to learn you need to learn how to chirp back. Yeah, we'll see. Give me your best chirp. Say if I shove. Okay, ready?

I shove you. You're a fucking joke, Shumka. Hey, it's just a game. What? I say it's just a game. Oh, yeah, you know what? You're right. Okay.

Sorry there. Good chirping. Okay, you turned me yeah i mean like i i don't dislike you i didn't come here i did come here to make friends yeah yeah did you ever get into a fight in hockey when you were a kid no never i mean i have you ever been in a fight in your adult life no me either how you have yeah what uh i've had a couple of occasions uh mostly on public transit really yeah wow and one where i actually did uh quite a bit of damage to my uh whatever this connector piece is yeah punching shoulder uh grabbing somebody who had assaulted somebody and was trying to run away i grabbed them around the waist and they pulled this back very quickly dang so this whatever this

is yeah a shoulder shoulder rotator cuff rotator cuff and i really fucked it up i feel bad for that guy he tried to assault somebody well meanwhile the bus is your octagon. Yeah, that's right. Public transit is yours. The rectangle. Step into the rectangle. So wait, how many other fights have you been in on a bus? On the bus, I've intervened in quite a few fisticuffs. And then all of a sudden you are in a fight. Yeah. I've been in a fight in a few buses.

Wait, fuck. No. Let me try that again. Okay, go ahead. I've been in a fight in a few sub. Wait, fuck. No. Let me try that again. Okay, go ahead. I've been in a fight in a few subways. A couple Quiznos. There you go. There it is.

Yeah. Woo! I've never been in a fight either, and I think it would be really fun if me and you fought. I mean, you know what? Graham was pointing to his shoulder. I remember I have another shoulder injury. Yeah. From a fight?

No, from hockey. Oh. Well, you, in a fight, you would have tremendous reach. Yeah, but Dave is much stronger than I am. Why? Because I can just tell. I don't think I'm strong. Do you have more strength than zero strength?

Not. Let me ask you this. If you ever go to the gym, are you embarrassed to pick up the weights that you're picking up? I've never been to the gym. Oh. Counterpoint. Well, if this was some sort of Truth or Dare podcast, we would have some sort of push-up contest. But this is not.

Yeah. How many can you do? Let's just blue sky it. Yeah, yeah. Okay. On three, we'll both say how many push-ups we can do. Can or have ever? Or like what's our best ever? Total? No, no, yeah. Okay, on three, we'll both say how many push-ups we can do. Can or have ever? Or like, what's our best ever?

Total? No, no, no. Lifetime average? Your best, like, what size total? What you think you could do right now? And real push-ups, chest to the ground. Chest all the way to the ground? Chest all the way to the ground.

You're touching the ground? Well, part of his chest isn't. Are we putting a little... I can't do it. A single push-up. Are we putting like a little, uh, you know, like a coffee cup?

No, like something shorter between you and the cup. No, I was going to say, what's a, like a, a spindle tennis ball. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Remember old gym class. They used to put a spindle thread down and I'm like, what's a thing you could put that's, you know, an inch and a half high box of matches. Sure. Yeah. You could touch that., you know, an inch and a half high? Box of matches? Sure. Yeah.

You could touch that. Okay. Oh, okay. On three, how many we think we would do? Okay. Okay. One, two, three, seven. Eighty?

Seven. You think you can do 80 push-ups and you've never been to the gym? Yeah, but do people do push-ups at the gym? Why go to the gym? They do. Yeah, they call them press pushups At the gym Why go to the gym Uh They do Yeah they do They call them press ups At the gym

That's But when was the last time You did a pushup It's been a while But I used to do A bunch every morning 80 No I

I would do 60 But I feel like If I had to I could do 80 You could push it to 80 Wow Yeah you'd definitely Beat me in a fight Dave

Plus you have that Giant wedding ring You'd clock Clock me And give me A concussion with that thing. Give me a left and I'm done. Well, you used to be married, I hear.

Yeah, and I took the wedding ring off, Dave. Did you throw it somewhere? Yeah, I threw it in the goddamn ocean. How old were you when you got married? I was 22. That's too young. That's very early. Yeah.

But it was kind of punk rock because we couldn't, we lived in different countries. So it was either like get married or break up. Oh, okay. And then you said, how about both? How about? But no,

my ex is great and it's great. It's great. I have no, I'm not like the worst guy. And she got her head shaved in that video. She got her head shaved

in that video and it still hasn't grown back. Oh, that's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy to know that. Yeah. So, yeah, I'll probably play hockey again. Good. Good.

I bought all the gear. Yeah. Yeah, and you're not going to grow out of it like when you were a little kid. They'll probably fit next year. Yeah. Something's getting really chewed up, though. Those skates are getting like, ugh. But that was the thing that's supposed to last the longest.

Yeah, but if you're playing hard, you know. I don't know. This guy's a Canuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're playing hard. What's up with you? So this past Friday,

whatever day that would have been. After we recorded with Steph. Yeah After we recorded with Steph. After, yeah, we recorded with Steph Tolove. Her and I went and we did a corporate thing. Oh, yes, I heard about this. And there was a lot of leading up to it because the rules kept changing about how many people you could have in a space at one time. So it was like 250, and this was like, well, well below that. And because of the ongoing nature of the COVID-19 development,

news, news changes every couple hours. Yeah. People just didn't come. So it was even a fraction of a fraction, right? Uh, the number of people who are there and the,

the place, what did everything exactly perfect. Like, uh, every, there was like hand sanitizing stations everywhere uh there was ways to like just not like everybody was doing the shoulder bump it was exemplary except after the gig there was an up-close magician going around i was like that guy

it's gonna turn out this guy's patient zero of something. Yeah. That he's going around doing up close magic. What did he do? Was there any touching in it? Well, do you take this card, put it back in the thing? Did he like, I remember once there was a guy going around doing that and it was like, grab, you grabbed your wrist.

Oh, yeah. You had to squeeze a ball and he was taking your watch off while you were doing it. Right. Yeah. This, this, this guy would have done that type of trick. Yeah. He also had a wallet that burst into flames. So that was cool. Well, all the disease is going to die. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So it was like, this is fine. Just go around and do that to everybody. Show your flaming wallet. But yeah, I just That's an awful idea to have a close-up magician. Grab my wrist where I've been coughing into for the last 10 days. You know the place, grab my upper forearm. It was mind-blowing.

Wow. Like everything else was exactly perfect, and then there was this up-close magician working around. And people were participating. Yeah. I was like, no, no, don't. Even in regular normal times,'t you know what i mean so how participate in what percentage of the theater was full oh very like less than a quarter

of the really yeah yeah yeah mama mia yeah here we go again you got paid though uh yeah yeah yeah yeah so it's all been made so i mean just like in terms of these things that are canceling and who's keeping the money and graham keeps the yeah i keep the money yeah yeah yeah it's uh that's the deal that's the deal you struck when i'm paying you guys to be here that's right and i still have to honor that yeah well because you're here. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, you know what? This don't if if you need an excuse to not participate in up close magic, this is a great time. This is a great time for you and yours. Imagine Justin Trudeau and his and his speech today was like up close magicians. Stay home.

beach today was like up close magicians stay home work on some sort of escape trick where you're uh you know upside down uh in a straight jacket you know something like this is a perfect time for far away magicians yeah oh distance magicians long distance magicians yeah yeah um i did see a post uh has someone had had a Graham Clark post. Graham Clark was asked was told about the people in Italy out on their balconies making music. Oh yeah. And he said I would call the cops. If my neighbors did that I would call the cops.

Yeah. This is assault. Especially because they feel like there was a lot of people with accordions and stuff yeah in this footage from italy and i was like oh god and like just people have do you have a tambourine in your apartment either like people are just participating oh you know what i'm not a big musician i own a few tambourines yeah i've got i'm looking at a ukulele right now This is a musical room This is a musical room

Because you don't Know us at all We laugh when old people fall How did In Too Deep start? Seems like each time I'm with you I lose my mind It doesn't struggle for it for one second What were the words to that?

I know how it ends That's right Everyone in my high school knew that On guitar Guitar riff What were the words to that? I know how it ends. Everyone in my high school knew that guitar riff. Yeah. That brown sound. Did he rejoin the group? Did he ever leave? Yeah, he left for a long time.

He came back. Was he, was Sum 41, did they bring in Billy Talent? Ooh. Did they rap? No. No. But I was hoping that they did. Yeah. What do you mean, did they bring them in?

Well, was Sum 41 and Billy Talent friends? I believe they were. Or they were, you know, bitter enemies. Oh, my God. I'm still trying to think of another band that raps. I'll get there. There's one song I have in my head, but I can't get to the chorus. Never made it as a wise man. Couldn't cut it as a poor man's stealing.

Is this rap? Is this how you remind me? Hey, kids, is this rap? Is this how you remind me? This is how you remind me. Should we move on to some overheards? What about the part where Avril Lavigne is like, in Girlfriend, she's like,

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a hand clap breakdown. Yeah. You know what? I'll accept it. Okay, you better. There you go. It took us 45 minutes.

Is she a band? Hmm. We'll find out after this overheards welcome back to fireside chat on kmax with me in studio to take your calls is the dopest duo on the west coast oliver wong and morgan rhodes go ahead caller hey uh i'm looking for a music podcast that's insightful and thoughtful but like also helps me discover artists and albums that I've never heard of. Yeah, man, sounds like you need to listen to Heat Rocks. Every week, myself and I'm Morgan Rhodes and my co-host here, Oliver Wong, talk to influential guests about a canonical album that has changed their lives. Guests like Moby, Open Mic Eagle, talk about albums by Prince, Joni Mitchell, and

so much more. Yo, what's that show called again? He Rocks! Deep Dives into Hot Records. Every Thursday on Maximum Fun. Overheard. Overheard's a segment where you're going to hear great things out there in the wide, wide world.

Share them here on the podcast. And we always like to start with the guest. Adam. Hi, guys. Will you lead the charge? So, my girlfriend was speaking with her father. And she was talking about, you know, everything that's going on in the world. And she was like, you know, we're still doing the job, or I'm still doing the job.

But, you know, in the next few days, anything can really happen. And then she paused. And then, you know, I could tell that her dad was like, well, how's Adam doing? And she's like, Adam's doing fine. Like, he had the, I mean, some things, like the Junos were canceled. But I think he has some shows coming up and I think, I think he's okay. Cause she's, he's mostly, it's, he's mostly doing shows for like, you know, 25 people.

To her father. Yeah. You're not allowed gatherings of over 50. And so he'll be fine. He'll be fine. Excuse me, honey. He performs so like. Yeah. There's a call on the other line.

I think it's Adam asking me if it's okay if you get married. And also, can I have some money? It's like, first of all, that's not even true. I perform for more than 25 people. And also, lie to your dad for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I'm trying to get your dad to like me. It would be helpful if you maybe sold me a little harder than you're doing.

He even played at the Sydney Opera House. Only 25 people there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the big room. He does a show, you check your coat. He's got a show in the coat room yeah he said do you want

to see 10 minutes of you know okay stand up comedy like he told this he made up this story about having a panic attack in the closet but truth is

that's where he was performing to a bunch of brooms and I caught him and that's why he's fired performs for 25 people and most of them are brooms. And I caught him, and that's why he's fired. Performs for 25 people, and most of them are brooms.

It's been 10 years. He's going to get zoinked. This guy's getting so zoinked. If he went back on zoinked, he'd get zoinked. Dave, do you have an overheard? Guys, I went to a hardware store the other day. Oh, fun. Fun place to be.

Yeah, I went to Karisdale Lumber. They have a new location. Oh. It's a few blocks down from the old location, next to the new Savon. Oh, nice. Plug. Quick plug. Yeah, good plug. Yeah.

I don't know what I was looking for in there lumber no okay mostly don't have lumber they mostly sell barbecues yeah yeah yeah i remember like thinking that same thing about beaver lumber i was like huh heavy on the not lumber yeah yeah um so i went in there and and uh mostly i went in there because it was the day they opened. Yeah. And. Everybody got a balloon and a hot dog. And so I went and walked around and there was like this like 13 year old boy with his dad.

And he was like leading up against a really like probably $12,000 barbecue, like an earpiece style barbecue. An earpiece? You had a $12,000 earpiece. Oh, that's a callback. That's a callback, folks. It didn't quite work because I was like, Graham didn't register any acknowledgement.

And, uh-oh, here he's going to, here comes Adam. Yeah. He's saying something. Yeah. A very expensive, like the kind that you like, the barbecue that like is part of your, the outdoor countertop. If you have like a fire pit area. Oh, yeah, yeah. Like if you had this barbecue, it'd be part of your personality.

Yes. Yeah. And so this 13-year-old kid is leaning up up against it and his dad's there holding up his phone and his dad says you're tired smile this is for mom and took a picture of him next to the barbecue dad i've been we've been looking at barbecues for three hours come on smile everyone take a picture of you next to this really expensive barbecue this is what this is for your mom's birthday picture of you next to the most expensive barbecues in the city oh god um picture the mom getting that photo being like look at my son yeah oh boy next to

that cue just imagine wow flipping steaks god my son god i'm proud of my son i love him so much yeah babe get it yeah oh boy um yeah i think a hardware store is like it's just the greatest confluence of people like people who are like i don't know like i'm not sure what i'm looking for this tiny thing and then people who just like own the place yeah they're wearing those coverall really, you know, uh, tough looking pants. Oh yeah. Double need.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What I'm looking for is, uh, sandbags like they have on film sets, but like,

uh, but also like even smaller ones just to hold a door open. Oh yeah. Like the, the little, like the black ones that is like two side and-sided and have a little holder, I think. Yeah. But I've seen ones that are not two-sided.

They're just one-sided and just, you know. Just for holding a door open. Yeah. Huh. Yeah. What door do you need to hold? In the summertime, we would like to have, be able to, like, keep our patio door open. Oh, yeah.

You ever think about getting a wedge? door open. Yeah. You ever think about getting a wedge? A wedge is, we actually, it's like, the patio is like,

maybe six inches below where the door would spring out from. too high of a wedge. Well, it depends on the size of the wedge.

That's true. But then you've got a, then you've got like a huge wedge. Yeah. Go out to the hardware store and

be like, where you get a three foot wedge? What aisle? 17? Son, come, come i'm gonna take a picture of you with a three foot wedge no they have a cut your own wedge i just fit everywhere so this whole place needs to be sampled that's fine well we uh yeah it's not really fine i guess Don't drink any of the things. Oh, right. Okay.

Yeah. Don't touch anything for the rest of the show. Okay. Sorry, everybody. Let's put our hands in our pockets. And the other one's giving up his sign. Graham? Yes.

My overheard. And also, just so you know, we have since this COVID-19 outbreak, we've been swapping out the guest microphone covers. Yeah. That's the best we can do. Yeah. And you know what? Should we buy new microphones for every guest? We probably should.

Yeah. This is a Chuck E. Cheese ball pit scenario where, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Covered in piss. There's a lot of piss. A lot of kids have come and pissed on these microphones. Come and piss.

Yeah. Absolutely. Anything goes. You got to go down to the come and piss. A lot of kids have come and pissed on these microphones. Come and pissed? Yeah, absolutely. Anything goes. You got to go down to the come and piss. Just stock up. You know, this is sounding like the Steph Tolove episode. I used to live with Steph Tolove. Oh, really?

Yeah, we were roommates in LA. Fine. Let me tell you, Steph Tolove, it starts that way at seven in the morning. Every morning, I'd be having a nice cup of tea. Every morning, I'd be having a nice cup of tea Every morning I'd be having a nice cup of tea She'd clomp into the room Clomp into the room Oh boy

Oh boy My overheard Courtesy of Kensington Market Toronto Toronto There was a couple of gals At a

Set up that was all hand-carved rings. And one girl was trying on the ring. She said, what about this? And her friend said, for what? For beating up Adam. He's scared of fighting a guy with a ring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd be afraid to get my

ring caught on something while i'm fighting yeah i get that uh jimmy fallon disease everyone is about to spit everywhere his hand was all effed up yeah yeah yeah and now it's called jimmy fallon disease from from falling down i guess tim gray who was Tim Gray who was on? And he has a very fancy wedding ring. Not fancy, but it's made out of a super futuristic metal. Yeah. And someone was like, if you get in an accident, they can't snip that off your finger.

Right, yeah. They'll have to snip off your finger. Yeah. Wow. Risky's willing to take. Imagine you had your Ring finger Severed People are like How'd you lose that?

And you're like Fucking love my wife Yeah The craziest way Love too hard Now we also Have overheard Sent in by listeners

From all over the map If you want to send one in You can send it in to SPY At maximumfun.org Wait If you're counting Bare naked ladies

Then surely like Moxie Fruvis We, then surely like Moxie Fruvis. We don't talk about Moxie Fruvis. That's true. I talk about most of them. The other boys in the groove. Crash Test Dummies rap. Who put Whitey in the White House? You did, baby.

That's rap. That is rap. That sounds like rap. They might have invented rap. This first one comes from Jordan from Washington. I'm a merchandiser. I'm sure what that is. And I was working at a store when I saw a bunch of EMTs crowding at the pharmacy, so I went to check it out.

I showed up and overheard this conversation between one of the EMTs and the man they were tending to who was lying on the floor. EMT, sir, how much did you have to drink? Man, enough to get you guys called,

apparently. All right, well, he hasn't lost his sense of humor. Yeah, he's still funny. Yeah, he's still a funny drunk.

Check mark. Mm-hmm. Okay, who's the president now? Oh boy, this guy's killing me. All right, he knows what year it is. How many fingers am I holding?

I'd like you to hold one up inside me. What? This guy's a pervert. Puppet disease. Got Jimmy Fallon disease. Yeah, you know what? If somebody sets you up that way, you's you, you got to take it. Yeah.

You got to swing at it. Yeah. This next one comes from John from Asheville, North Carolina. One of my favorite cities. Yeah. Love it. What's your favorite thing to do in Asheville?

There's a pinball museum there. Very fun. Okay. Yeah. All right. Also great breweries. Great time. Asheville,

North Carolina. Wow. Yeah. I mean, sounds great. I believe him. I believe him too. Yeah. Yeah. Mountains, time, Asheville, North Carolina Wow, sounds great I believe him too Mountains, rivers, Asheville's got it all Nice Coming up next, Spongebob Squarepants

Still got it He does, he still got it So this is John from Asheville, North Carolina I was sitting in my university's tutoring center Where I work. Two people at the table next to me are having a conversation.

The girl turns to the guy and exclaims, T-minus four days until my root canal. The guy, taken aback, says, You seem quite positive about it. And the girl said, Oh, yes. I absolutely love taking ibuprofen. It makes me feel crazy.

Whoa. Whoa, yeah me feel crazy. Whoa. Whoa, yeah. Lucky you. Yeah. That you can get high off of an over-the-counter. Yeah.

Getting high on Advil. Can you imagine her on Robaxizet? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Is that the one? Well, you know,

I didn't know this, but the Robax family of drugs, there's Robax Platinum, Robax Azet, and Robax Azol. Okay. It's all the same muscle relaxant, but combined with acetaminophen, ibuprofen, or acetic acetic acid. Ah.

So it's. You're always getting the same amount. Why? Why? Why did I mention this? Who cares? I know, but you know what?

It's, it fills out the program. It's just what you're, you know, what, what's your drug of choice? Yeah. What is my drug of choice?

I mean, you know what? Special K. It's always been, you know what? I go, I stray away from it. I always come back to it.

Kind of mean, huh? Yeah. Yeah. I like crawling in one of those K holes and just hanging out for the day, you know what i go i stray away from it always come back to it ketamine yeah yeah like crawling in one of those k-holes and just hanging out for the day you know you guys is that horse tranquilizer i think it's cat tranquilizer oh cool yeah but like jungle cat jungle cat yeah i think that is that why they know they call it because ketamine not cat with a k special k i think no one knows why they call it ketamine. I don't do drugs. No.

Never have. You know what? Caffeine is a drug. Shit, I've done drugs. Yeah. You know what? Some people say religion is the drug. Oh, fuck.

Well, no one likes the light of the Lord more than I do. So call me a drug addict. Yeah. If you must. Yeah. Do you find any drugs in those Stardew Valley garbage cans?

God, no. It's a clean living town, that town. You might accidentally prick yourself with a needle. This last one comes from Brooke D. I was waiting at a bus stop

with several other people. This is an overseen. One man had just lit a cigarette. A car drove past and the driver saw someone at the bus stop they recognized. So he beeped his horn and waved at someone for them to hop in for a lift. The guy with the fresh cigarette

tossed it in the gutter, stepped off the curb and hopped in the back seat. We hear the driver of the car say, get the fuck out because he was waving at someone else. The correct man gets into the front seat. The wrong guy energetically hops out of the car, picks up his still lit cigarette,

and rejoins us waiting for the bus. Wow. So this guy was just going to chance. He thought he won the lottery. Oh, this guy's giving me a ride. Just the thought process in that man's head. Stranger wants to give me a ride out of all you people. It's me.

He was waving at. So here we go. Uh, Abby and I were talking about, uh, we drove past the part of town where, uh, once like we were just stopped at a red light and a woman got in the back of

our car. Oh yeah. And we turned around and we just yelled no get out and she was like what's the big idea yeah yeah you're we're all going the same way but like what signal did you get that get in our car we're okay with it yeah i don't know i don't know and we were listening to gold digger by kanye west and every time we hear that song... Remember, the uninvited lady. Wow. In addition to overhears that are written,

and we also accept your phone calls, if you would like to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's 1-UGH-SPYPOD-1, like these people have. Hi, Dave Graham and wonderful guests. This is David in D.C. and I haven't overheard from Wednesday the 11th.

There we go. And Friday is Friday the 13th. I can't stand that day. Jason. No, Freddy Krueger. No, Jason. Woo! Wait. Sorry, I'm having some trouble hanging up yes

oh you know when he hung up he was like they'll cut that last part out I'm sure my great overheard will overpower the fact that I couldn't hang up my phone although that's so simple twice the length of my actual dialogue oh man what do you think he had earbuds and couldn't do it um yeah earbuds or you know

like maybe his phone was downloading new software and he couldn't press through you know oh yeah i just ran into that problem pulling up these calls. Yeah. You need to put in a password. Happens to everybody. Yeah. Don't worry, man. Not everybody makes a clean exit off the phone. Know this. Strike one. Yeah.

If we ever remember your name or if we get a call from you next week, we probably will forget that you called last week, but That'll still be strike two And you'll know it Yeah, it's by the honor system You keep track of how many strikes you have Let us know if we've said strike one to you before

Because then that was strike two And it's unlimited strikes Shame on you Next phone call Hey guys, this is Meredith fromoston calling in with an overheard um i heard this kid um singing the beginning of lion king and he was singing hi i'm simba this is my friend nala yeah yeah a lot of people don't know that that song has lyrics those are the lyrics they're english yeah also stellar hang up yeah yeah no problems that was one clean click you know

uh that's so funny yeah i love it i love uh you know if you yeah if you were a kid hearing that song for the first time you'd be like i don't unless you spoke that if you were a kid hearing that song for the first time, you'd be like, I don't, unless you spoke that language, you wouldn't know what the lyrics are. Fun to make up your own lyrics. Simba's not singing that though, right? It's when Simba's being held up. No, it's the, yeah, it's all the. We don't even know Nala exists. Yeah, it's all a bunch of animals all all uh praising their new leader i guess right yeah

yeah yeah yeah i've only seen the live action oh really yeah oh yeah it's good it's got yeah you're right nala wasn't even introduced this kid's an idiot yeah but you know off the top in the credits they they said, and introducing Nala. So you're like, I don't know, I do know she's in this though. And here's your final overheard. Hello, Dave Graham and copy of Dave.

This is Scott from Madison calling in with an overheard. So last night I saw the musical Wicked live for the first time. And he swore we sat down, but after we got our ticket, my partner and I were just walking around the lobby, and

uh, and, uh, we overheard a person saying to whoever they were there with, So is this gonna fuck us up, or what? Wait, what did he say? Sorry, I missed that. He said, is this Gonna fuck us up

Or what Yeah Yeah It probably will Yeah wicked Will definitely Like you'll Be a different person

Yeah yeah yeah I think that's the Tagline to wicked right Wicked This will fuck you up This will fuck you up Yeah Um

You know Yeah It's a It's a life changer Have I seen it Yeah Nope Wicked This Will Fuck You Up This Will Fuck You Up yeah um you know yeah it's a it's a life changer have I seen it yeah nope you're a big musical

guy nope like uh Wizard of Oz ah yes okay well yeah

one of the three of the checklist it's about the other witch or another witch in the Wizard of Oz I think it's it's about the witches the wicked

yeah the two the sisters oh and it's The witches The wicked Yeah the two The sisters Oh And it's about what I did see I saw a play That was very fun In London

It was great It was called Anne Juliet It's a musical Using the music Of Max Martin Who wrote like All the 90s

Like Britney Spears Hits And like And yeah And it's The story of If Juliet had lived uh the story of uh if juliet had lived at the end of romeo and juliet what her life would be like oh yeah it's very fun nice and it's musical now that yeah that does sound fun yeah that does sound good now did would you say that

it fucked your shit fuck my shit yeah yeah why do you think i have all this black makeup on, dude? Wait a minute. Let's walk that back. Shut up. I didn't hear anything wrong. I mean, eyeliner. Oh, yes. Not face liner. My face liner.

Woo. So this brings us to the end of this here podcast. Adam, thank you so much for being our guest. Thank you for having me. You're welcome. Thanks. Normally when we put the little episode description, we'll say, you know, comedian Paul F. Tompkins or whatever. But I think for this time we'll do Adam Christie and then parentheses.

Zoinked. Yes. Yeah, that's good. I would prefer it if you said comedian Paul F. Tompkins. Just to get the numbers up. Yeah. I'd like more people to hear me and I feel like they'd be more inclined to listen to Paul F. Tompkins than they would Adam Christie. A little Trojan horse.

It's worked before. Usually Paul F. Tompkins is live in Toronto. It is not him. It is me. Yeah, and at this point now, like 25 people show up. Yeah. They've been burned so many times. Yeah, he's fine.

He's just performing to 25 people who think they're seeing Paul F. Tompkins. He's trying to trick people again. But this is the man. This is he's fine. He's just performing to 25 people who think they're seeing Paul F. Tompkins. He's trying to trick people again. But this is the man. This is your future son. Where can people find you? He wants me to shave my head

like the woman in the video. Dad, you know some 41s? Yeah, yeah. You grew up on them, right? People can find me online.

The Adam Christie on Twitter and Adam Christie87 on Instagram. You know what? Have a nice time out there. Live your life. And be nice to everybody. Be nice to everybody.

This is trying times. And you know what? I think everyone who cares what I have to say. We want to hear what you have to say. Oh, come on. Whisper it. I was going to say, I think a nice thing to do. So everyone's going to lose money.

Yeah. I think for the rest of the year, I think standard tip should be 30. Okay. 25, 30. 25, 30, okay. That's people are going to lose some money. Yeah. And if this doesn't go to a restaurant, you're going to lose money.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, people are probably saving money right now. That's true. Eating all that canned food. Yeah. Eating all their toilet paper. Eating all that toilet paper.

Half a roll a day. That's what my doctor said. So that's my soapbox moment of the day. That was great. That was your Speakers Corner. Yes. Speakers Corner, which launched many careers. Yeah.

The Barenaked Ladies amongst them. Really? Yeah. They played some song in there in the booth. Yeah. So, you know, check out your Canadian history. Yeah. Learn your Canadian history

or you'll be doomed to repeat it. We'll get another brand again later. Like songs with distortion, my drinking proportions, the doctor said my mom should have had an abortion. That's right. Abortion.

Abortion. Abortion. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na I would like everyone to get the Sum 41 album, All Killer, No Filler. All Killer, No Filler. Is that the one where they're all shaking their faces back and forth? Thank you all for listening. We hope everyone's doing okay out there. Yes, absolutely. You know what?

If there's anything the podcast can do for you, you can send a message along to sby at maximalfund.org. Take care of yourselves and as Jerry Springer would say, and each other. Come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture.

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