Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 63 - LIVE, with Jason Bryden

Episode Date: May 16, 2009

Jason Bryden joins us for our first live podcast, recorded May 15, 2009 at Cafe Deux Soleils in Vancouver. After getting to know us, we do some audience Overheards, and the greatest Graham's Dad Movie Review segment ever, featuring Graham's Dad.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Yeah. Applause. Fade out. All right.

Good work, team. Hello, everybody. And steam machine, cappuccino out. All right. Good work, team. Hello, everybody. And steam machine, cappuccino machine. Perfect timing. Hello, everybody. Welcome to Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and joining me as always is a man who I've promised I will play the Jurassic Park theme song on clarinet at his wedding.

Mr. Dave Shumka. It's a beautiful song. Yeah, remember the pterodactyls? They weren't in the first one, were they? No, not at all. They were in the book, nerds. And joining us here tonight for our first ever live podcast, very, very funny man,

a man who I am not playing any Jurassic Park songs for at his wedding. What about the Weird Al Jurassic Park song? To the tune of MacArthur Park? Yeah. I recall it. It has a Barney reference. Yeah. The very funny and talented Vancouver Zone back in town all the way from Los Angeles,

California. Please welcome Mr. Jason Bryden. Thank you. Yeah. Good to be here. Good to have you. So excited to be here. Thanks for coming out. My pleasure. I've got some personal goals. Yeah? Well, do you guys want to get to know us?

Sakatume. Hold on. It's not a science, it's an art. Get to know us. There, I blame myself. I remembered the rest of it. So you, Jason, let's get to know you. You had a personal agenda.

Yeah, I listened to my first guest appearance. Yes. And I thought I talked too slowly and too high pitch. I'm going to speed it up and I'm going to man it up. Alright. Now you're back in Vancouver. You are back in Vancouver to be wed.

Correct? I thee wed on August 29th in my parents' backyard. And everyone here is invited. Free bar. I'll give you the address later. It's going to be great. My parents' backyard. Yeah, and everyone here is invited. Free bar. I'll give you the address later. It's going to be great. My parents are going.

Dave's parents are going. I'm not invited, but my parents managed to bully their way on me. The invitation wasn't one set of parents plus one? I hear the guest list is just family and my parents. Yeah. They want to keep the paparazzi out of it. Dave's parents are almost like family. They were there when you were being born?

I feel the same way. Pretty good line. Not too bad. Didn't get a good laugh. That's all right. That's the magic of editing, my friend. So welcome back to Vancouver. Did you miss it?

You were down in L.A. I liked Los Angeles. We love it. We love L.A. He didn't like L.A. I loved it. It was warm all the time. I had eight months of sunshine.

That's pretty good. Boo? Incorrect. But they're not mics, so nobody will hear them on the podcast. It doesn't matter. I'm willing to throw this into the toilet for one guy booing. That's how I am. I think it was a lady.

It was a lady? It was a lady booing sunshine? I don't know. Somebody is in bikini shape. That's what I think. Yeah, it's tankini season. It is tankini season. I know, I was out in one earlier today.

But welcome back to the city. But you liked LA, but you love Vancouver? I love Vancouver. Is it possible to have two loves? I think so. Yeah, like me. The unbearable lightness of being taught us that. It's a grown-up book.

So obtuse. So what's going on? What's going on? It was gritty down there. It was intense. Yeah? And it was a different kind of intensity than the East Vancouver that I'm used to. I was living in Hollywood. And it was a different kind of intensity than the East Vancouver that I'm used to.

I was living in Hollywood. And tell people that you're an actor. You weren't down there solving a crime or something like that. I solved a few crimes. Oh, you solved a few? Okay, well, I was wrong. I had spare time, so I thought, there's a lot of crime going on. Why not pitch in? Yeah.

Did they ever solve that Rodney King thing? No. No. I blame the cops. Fuck the police. Right, guys? It's hard to see you, Shumka. I know. I'm trying to get this microphone out.

You know what? I feel like this should be called a mass variance. Is that better? Sure. That's good. How are you guys doing? Are you guys getting enough of Jason? Is everybody all right over there?

We love it. And I'll take care of House Wright. Yeah, House Wright is all... Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Right? That's when you... Hey, I think House Letton cheer a lot louder than House Wright. Dog pound.

You know what I'm all about? Right down the middle. Tell me what that's all about. Yeah, I thought so. Nothing like some pandering for good radio. CBC's built on. Why did I say that? It's not even true.

I don't get it. I just made up a thing. And then still somebody was like, ooh. Somebody still gave it the burn credentials. I think if you mention CBC, people will, ooh, somebody still gave it the burn credentials. I think if you mention CBC, people will, ooh, you can't touch the mother corp.

Like if I was like, just like Jack Layton. Am I right? I want to get up in them guts. Too federal. He's too far away. Just like, uh... Hey, Graham. Hey, what's up? Do you want to talk local politics?

I sure do. For some people here may know, others may not, I ran in the most recent provincial election. Yeah, right? Participating in the political process. Thank you. Good for you, Graham. And I got a whopping 157 votes.

Did anybody here vote for Graham? Yeah. Right on. I suppose if you don't believe in anything else. That was our slogan, was spoil your ballot rotten with Graham Clark. You said our.

Did you have a team? Yeah, yeah. It was I work on a TV show, so the team was my TV show team. And I entered into the election and I debated politicians and I actually went out... So wait, was this like a television team?

Yeah. Were they playing a team? Yeah, they were. You went to L.A. Graham stayed here, and a TV show came to him. Yeah, exactly. I just woke up one day, and they called me and said, Hey, handsome, because obviously...

How do you feel about the television? I made the wrong move. Yeah, exactly. Well, you had crimes to solve. That's fine. That's understandable. Everyone has their own journey. I said, hey, why don't I run in the election?

And everybody at the office went, ha, ha, ha, ha, yeah, let's do it. And then, I actually, as it went along, we were like, what a great gag this is. And then on the night of the election, somebody said, what'll happen if you win? And I was like, I nearly shat myself, because I didn't realize, I completely forgot that that was a possibility.

Right? I never... Possibility. In TV it's a possibility. There's millions. Jurassic Park. If you talk about the chaos theory, that's a possibility.

Graham could be a member of the legislature. It never crossed my mind that I would get any votes at all But then all of a sudden I was engaged in this serious discussion How did you I should stop asking questions No you ask some questions

How did you fare in the debate You're sounding a little high pitched How did you fare in the debate Thank you Dave Thank you I fared well I think I did alright Although the lady who won

Sorry Woman with a Y Who won Yeah Yeah exactly She didn't participate In the debates No she didn't

She was swagging her Swagging her around Swagging her around Yeah she's just Swagging her around Like king shit Of F word mountain Oh I already said shit Yeah Yeah Why censor the best Swagging her around. Swagging her around? Yeah, she's just swagging her around. Like king shit of F Word Mountain. Oh, I already said shit.

Yeah. Yeah, why censor the best of the swear words? She was one of them big swinging dicks. Yeah. And whatnot. I didn't care for her one bit. I met her on the street, and I asked her, because I was trying to get, you have to get 75 signatures to get on the ballot. I remember that podcast.

She passed me on the street and I introduced myself and I said, what is it like to run in the election? How do you put up with all the criticism? She said, well, to know me is to love me. So those people just don't know me. And then that was it. And I was like, well, that's the worst fucking answer that I ever...

That's the worst answer to that question. Hey, how do you deal with the criticism? Everybody who criticizes me is wrong. We've heard it before, though. That's how. It sounds a lot like if you're not with us Yeah, exactly So she's chosen a good mentor But then she showed up

at my house Drunk one night She wasn't drunk She's like, remember me? You were sexting Didn't you? Buzzwords, guys. Look it up.

Internet. She knocked on my door while she was doing the campaigning. Hello. And I'd been drinking. Oops. That made two of you. But she said, they say, have you considered who you're going to vote for? And I said, yeah.

This guy. This guy. This guy. And he pointed to his genitals for the homeless person. This one. She probably thought it was a homeless guy who broke into the house. I'm squatting. This one. So that was...

And, oh, I went to the Liberal Party's victory party. Right. I saw this on television. And what happened was, when I went there, there was a guy who came up to me and he actually approached me very friendly like, hey, I saw you were on the ballot

and he shook my hand and I shook his hand and he said, I fucking hate your comedy. And I was like, what a weird goddamn approach. He was still shaking my hand while he said it and he was like, years ago I saw you do stand-up and you did this joke

about turducken and I fucking hated it. And then he walked away. And I asked him, where did you... I followed him, and I asked him, where did you see the joke? And it was a place that hasn't done comedy for two years. So he's kept this in him for two years. Like, Cape Fear, he's had turducken tattooed on his knuckles. He's been doing like chin-ups.

Like, I'm going to find this guy. Thank you. Hey, football guy, everybody. Big round of applause. Football guy. Refilling our drinks. He brought beer. Thank you, football guy.

Did your hater make you suck his thumb? Did my hater make me suck his thumb? Did my hater make me suck his thumb? What is that? Is that an L.A. thing? Suck my thumb hater? Isn't that Robert De Niro did that? I only saw the Simpsons version. He did? No, yeah.

But he didn't have it out for Juliette Lewis. That was just a pleasant side effect for him. Rape-wise. Maybe you were his pleasant side effect. He was there to take it back, Gordon Campbell. And Gordon Campbell made a speech and a baby nearly derailed it. There was a baby behind him

and, yeah, he yawned. The baby went, and everybody was like, yeah! They were like, vote for baby! How many votes did baby get? 158? Yeah, 158. I conceded to Baby. Baby put me in the corner.

Am I right? Could we get foamier beers, please? Look at all this beer. This is going to be great. We are untouchable. Dave, let's get to know you. What's going on with you, my friend? This week was bike to week work,

bike to work week. It's whatever you want it to be. Can I get a few more of these? And that didn't affect me because I don't bike and I don't work. And that didn't affect me because I don't bike and I don't work. But one thing I admire about you, Graham, is you have the ability to read a situation. And I feel you know what to do.

You're street smart. You got the goods. Very savvy. Skills to pay the bills, et cetera. And I was, like a couple years ago, you and I were with a party post-bowling. We had bowled on Granville Street. Your team was garbage, if I recall. Yeah, my team's always garbage.

And we were bowling on Granville Street. And afterwards, we were walking, and you saw this guy take off his jacket. And you said to everyone, okay, hold back. Wait a minute. And you knew that this guy take off his jacket and you said to everyone, okay, hold back. Wait a minute. And you knew that this guy was up to something. So this guy took off his jacket, grabbed a vodka bottle and broke it over another guy's head. Yeah, full. It was a full vodka bottle.

Yeah, well, he wasn't smart. But you were able to read it. You knew that was going to happen. You're Bruce Willis in Unbreakable. Correct. The vodka bottle is Mr. Glass. revisit it. It's one of Shyamalan's better works.

Anywho. But I don't have that skill. And I was walking the dog this week, and I was with my lovely girlfriend, Abby, who's her own person. Yes. And we were walking down the street, and we heard this guy sort of biking towards us, and he passed us. And then we heard this k-kunk, k-kunk, k-kunk.

And this guy fell off his bike, and we looked back, and I kind of thought he was all right and Abby's initial reaction was to figure out if he is all right right mine what I said to her was don't look at him just keep walking I assumed there was no car around him he wasn't hit he just He just wiped out. So you assume... Oh, like he was scamming you. No, no, no. He was waiting to draw you in. Yeah, yeah. And the moral is, never

leave the house. Right, Shaka? Yeah, you should build like an area for your dog to go to the bathroom in your house. No, but I was just... If that happened to me, I would be so afraid that... I would just be so embarrassed. Especially if I was a little bit No, but I was just, if that happened to me, I would be so afraid that, I would just be so embarrassed, especially if I was a little bit hurt, but I could still bike.

So that's why I said, just keep walking. Yeah, just leave him. He wants privacy. It's a personal time for him. And if you look back, it might be a bicycle built for four, and there's people splayed everywhere. It could be like a thing you can't handle.

I looked back. I saw the situation. I said we move on. Abby went to hell. Abby waited for him to be alright. But long story short, he was alright, so I was right. Vindicated.

Cheers. Presumably. So that's what's going on with me You guys have any other topics? This is great Oh I saw a bird shit on another bird That's the end of the world right there That's the end of post-modernism

You can't get any more post-modern than that I didn't even think it was possible I thought they had a code within their kind did he look like a statue of another bird? no, it was I was in the park and there was a bird a crow was on the ground and then it was

like I saw it but it's like my brain made it happen so I had to keep staring at it. Like my brain thought, oh, he might enjoy this. Let's make up a thing that's happening. But the crow all of a sudden, there was like the white bird shit thing

happened on him and I looked up and it was another crow. It was his own kind. It was great. Crows are pretty despicable. I'd shit on one. Yeah. Dollars to donuts. They'll eat each other and then shit out the remains of that on each other.

You went too far. Oops. So those are the two. Oh. The first act up tonight Oops. So those are the two. Oh, the first act up tonight was when you guys, for the home listener, there was an act up, and you sang the French Canadian National Anthem. And then there was a,

how would you characterize it? What? I don't know what I said. Oh, no, no, no. The next act? No, no. They're saying the French... Yeah, would they translate it to English? Yeah.

Pardon? Simulcast? It was a simulcast. It was a simulcast. All right. We'll edit all this out. You know, you always say that, and then you never do. You don't know what goes on.

What you hear is a lot worse. Such entitlement. But I was telling you while we were waiting that when I was a kid, we used to translate everything from French, because we thought the French versions of English songs that we knew were so weird. And the only one I really remember is Jingle Bells, which in French is

Vive le vent, vive le vent, vive le vent l'hiver Qui s'en va en tourbillon dans les grands sapins verts Vive le vent, vive le vent, vive le vent l'hiver Joyeux Noël à tout le monde Bonne année grand-mère Which in English is Long live the wind, long live the wind, long live the wind of the winter.

Be who goes whirling super fast in the really big green Christmas trees. Long live the wind, long live the wind, long live the wind of the winter. Merry Christmas to everyone and Happy New Year, Grandma. I've been doing comedy for three and a half years and that's my first applause break relish in it loop it it's over

never leave the house Jemka that's the lesson of tonight it doesn't pay to try do we want to move on into a little segment that we like to do in order. We always like to do Get to Know Us and then this segment that we call

Overheard. I love this part. Overheard. That was me back in the day when I was young and optimistic. Good. Starts out dancey with bass and then turns into a campfire sing-along. Like, everybody get into it.

Innocent, and then it's over. Can we do it again now that everybody knows the lyrics? Yeah, everyone sing along. All right, wait for it. Overheard. Yeah, that was great. Applaud yourself. Or don't. Okay, just the ladies. Let's do it, just the great. Applaud yourself. Or don't.

Okay, just the ladies. Let's do it just the ladies. Just the left side. Overheard. Things overheard in lineups, on buses, in general life. We will do our own, and then we'll ask if anyone in the audience has any overheards that you could share with us for big prizes. For big, real-life prizes, everybody,

that I have in a bag stashed right behind my chair. The first prize is an upright. An upright bass, folks. An upright bass, everybody. Right here, you win this thing. You guys may have heard it at the beginning of the show being tested out. It's well-tuned. We were testing out the prizes.

There's an amp over here, too. That got my eye on that one. How many times have you been at home with a microphone and thought, Oh, I could use a microphone stand. God damn it. Ah, tonight is your night. I am halfway to karaoke. And I got a bunch of Pop Rocks.

We got Pop Rocks. I'm giving away some. Should I say what they are now or should I wait a bunch of pop rocks. We got pop rocks. I'm giving away some. Should I say what they are now or should I wait? I like the surprise. Fine. I like the surprise. Let me say one of the things that I have. Describe it. Make people guess. It's a blanket

with sleeves. No, no, no. It's a blanket with sleeves. It's a Snuggie and I'm giving it away. That's right. It exists. Did I ruin it? It exists.ie and I'm giving it away. That's right. It exists. No, I got other things too. It'll blow your mind. We always like to start with the guest, Jason. Do you have an

overheard from your time? Mine's an overseen. Okay, alright. Acceptable. Something that you've seen. I was at the gymnasium and the closed captions was on the TV. You're very fit. Yeah, you are very fit. Thank you.

Really? I was making conversation. My mirror is different than yours. And the closed captions were on the television. This was a couple months ago when Obama made a surprise visit to Baghdad. Barack Obama. Barack Obama. That's the one, not to be confused

with Malia. Kent Obama. And the pundits and the pundits on CNN that was a little high and the pundits on CNN There it is. Lock it in.

The pundits on CNN were remarking on why when he was in the area, didn't he visit Avenue Beganstan? Only got last from Ashoka. Known him all my life. Known him all my life. I don't even get it. It was closed captioning.

Avenue Beganstan. No, that didn't... When I read it, I thought it was hilarious. And I thought, good, stop podcasting yourself. This is going to be good. Well, you called us with an overheard a couple of months ago, and that was great. We'll credit you one.

Is that how it works? You get an extra life. Okay, good. Is it me? It's whomever. Which is it? Whoever or whomever? Whichever. Grammar nerds.

Has anybody heard of the movie The Soloist? Yeah. If you haven't heard of it, it's Jamie Foxx stars as a cellist? Sure. A street street cellist you know all those street cellists yeah you see well he's one of those as a street violinist with two strings and then uh robert danny jr writes his life story in the newspaper and someone donates a cello which

he then plays on the street yeah yeah yeah oh sorry we were doing it in media's res. So then... A lot of big words tonight. Anyway, so that movie was playing. I went to go see the movie based on... It was a documentary about Mike Tyson. And it was fantastic. Has anybody seen it? One person? The person I went with?

It was really good. There was only ten people in the theater. I went the opening night of Star Trek. And it was a smart move on my part. I saw Star Trek. It was awesome. Yeah. But how did it make you feel about Evander Holyfield?

Tasty. So after the movie, when I was walking, we were walking out, and the soloist was letting out at the exact same time. And there was a gentleman and a lady were walking out and the soloist was letting out at the exact same time and there was a gentleman and a lady were walking out of the soloist and the man was explaining a part of the movie. He was saying to the lady, well, you see the birds

represented the music flowing through him. And then she said, I'm so glad you're here. Avenue Began stand up on the TVs. Yeah! It was awesome. Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.

I found the birds represented the same thing in That Thing You Do. All right, that was all right. I'll get that out. That was a good one, Graham. Thanks, buddy. I do what I can. Mine, my overheard,

it was actually something someone said to me, but I didn't know the person. So it counts. Last night I was at Vancouver's local Chuckle Hut, yuck yucks. Yeah, give it up for Chuckle Hut. Double wise. and I walked in there and I was performing but as I walked in an audience member recognized me

and he was wearing everything he had on had the words Harley and Davidson on it and he was carrying a motorcycle helmet and he he walked up to me and he was like, Oh man, I've seen you before. I really like your act.

Just go with me. But then he looked at what I was wearing. And I was wearing basically what I'm wearing tonight. Jeans, a tie, and a jacket. We should mention for the people at home, we are all dressed pretty nicely. I'm going to say. You guys are dressed

nicely. Don't sell yourself short. Come on. Thank you. You should come over more often. Yeah, okay. Where do you live? L.A.

Yeah, down to Axel Foley's house. Go on. So he told me... Nobody got that. Beverly Hills Cop reference. They got it. They just didn't appreciate it. Yeah.

He saw what I was wearing. Part of history. I don't usually wear this on stage, but it was a paid gig, so I figured, well. And so he saw me in a jacket and tie, and he said, you got that whole Jamie Kennedy look. Jamie Kennedy star of Son of the Mask.

Yeah. And the Jamie Kennedy experience. Experiment? How did you feel? I felt Mask. Yeah. And the Jamie Kennedy experience. Experiment? How did you feel? I felt cheated. Yeah. I felt objectified. And I felt...

Did he mean it as a compliment? Was it a... I think he just said the first thing that came to his mind. He was trying to get out of the conversation and he succeeded. Imagine if your brain worked that that was the first thing that came to your mind. Imagine that that's how your brain functions. I was hoping that maybe he meant a different Kennedy.

A lesser Kennedy. Or a greater Kennedy. Like a Jackie. That's probably what he said. He probably just slurred his Jamie, Jackie. Very close. I was wearing the little John John outfit from JFK's funeral,

and I was doing a salute. He always salutes. Too soon. Too soon. Or too late, maybe. Yeah. Too late or too contrived. This is a weird thing.

I've read Jamie Kennedy's autobiography. Who wrote that? Jamie Kennedy wrote this book. And in the back thing, there's... If you've ever read an autobiography of a kind of celebrity that's only been around for five years, they put in a section where it's all glossy photos in the middle. With ten new glossy photos. And then at the back, it was Jamie's

guide to being a success in Hollywood. And his top tip, this is actually from the book, he said, the heading was, Sleep Around. I've heard that. Yeah. And he said, there was a producer for Scream, which he was in, who wanted to have sex with me.

Spoiler alert. And I had sex with her. And then I got in the movie. So if you are ever scratching your head at home, like, wait, what? Hey, we have an actor who was just in Hollywood with us. Does that work? No, I just picked up a set. Jamie Kennedy, everybody.

I just, where were you eight months ago I should have read this book before I left Apparently putting out If there's ever a time where you're like John Stamos or whatever Whatever is the actor that you're confused As to their monstrous success John Stamos

Read their autobiography Or assume that they're having sex with producers. All right. So we were going to do... We overheard... We're going to throw it out to the audience. Like I said, like Dave gave away, I have a Snuggie to give away as a prize.

I have... I am legend... Legend? Legend? How do you pronounce it? Legend? Yeah, which version is it? The Dutch?

Yeah, it's the Dutch version. It's on Blu-ray DVD. Is it really? Does anyone have a Blu-ray player? Yeah. Well, I know what you're getting. I don't just have that. I also have Rock and Rolla on Blu-ray DVD for some reason. I'm not going to say where I got it from.

Jason Statham's house? Yeah. He's not in it. Jason Statham's not in Rock and Roll. It's a very Jason Statham film. Is he not? No. I feel like he ought to be.

But it's Guy Ritchie. It is Guy Ritchie. It's Guy Ritchie. Yeah. So it's from the loins which Statham was born. Right. But we're going to put it out to the audience. Am I going to work the mic for this?

Yeah, sure. I'm tethered. I'll give you this mic and I'll take your mic. You take this one. Who in the audience, put up your hand and I'll come to you. Or you may have... We have to be in the middle, overheard-wise. Hey, this guy voted for you and has an overheard.

You gotta get up. I'm going under. Where am I going? Am I going under? And also with that cello. That's not a cello. That's a bass, right? You're gonna have to move over. Alright, there we go.

You got the cans on. You're looking C have to move over. All right, there we go. Okay, all right, there we go. Okay. You got the cans on. You're looking CBC 1979 right now. All right. This is a very modern project. Right there. Hockey night in Canada. Sure. You just held my wrist.

Yeah, yeah, we're friends. That's true. That's true. This is what friends do. All right, I got our first overheard. You put up your hand, right? Yes, I do. All right. State your name, and then go ahead our first overheard. You put up your hand, right? All right. State your name, and then go ahead with the overheard.

My name is Jason. My wife and I were sitting in our apartment with the window open at Main and 16th. Sounds hot. And we heard somebody at about a 17-year-old teenage go by with his group of friends and say, I've never heard a pussy fart. Wait. Wait. Is that a queef?

You get a prize and you need to grow the fuck up. You said that into a microphone in front of people. I felt good about it the whole time. What have you got against animal jokes, Dave? I'm very judgy. You're judgy tonight? Yeah. I think it's your authoritarian outfit.

Yeah, it's the CPC outfit. They're so judgy over a hockey night. I am giving a copy of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on Blu-ray DVD. Wow. And. What a budget. And a Graham Clark election campaign button. Oh, my God.

I want a button. We'll work on it. I got like a ton of them. I'm not living in the right neighborhood. Just say that again, what you said. If you want to vote for him, get a pen. We got a super fan downstage left over here.

Do we want to... Future stalker. Might as well. Alright, here we go. I got a snuggie feeling about this one. Football guy. The beers that football guy gave us are all warm What's that? He brought them from home You didn't see them pull them out of his pants

That's right, somebody sat in the corner I saw that too He's denying it I'm not drinking fast enough, that's the problem Is it? I'd like to take this time to apologize to the home listener you can edit this out right sure all right uh second overheard of the audience participation overheards go ahead my name is oh hey my name is jack zhang uh i drew this guy

on the city news list that doesn't make any sense to anybody. Go on. The City News list is the thing that Graham Clark, the TV show that Graham Clark is on. That's not an overheard. That's just a thing that you said. You have an overheard, right? I have a story. It's a story?

That was his setup. That was his intro. Sorry. I'm being hasty. All right. Go on. Come on. We've got a lot of time.

All right. his intro. Sorry, I'm being hasty. Alright, go on. Come on, we've got a lot of time. Alright, on Sunday, May 10th, I was going to the Fly of the Concourse concert. Who here is a Fly of the Concourse fan? He's working the audience

over here. How about my fellas on the left? Who's here from out of town? I'm alright? Anybody here on a bachelorette party? Yeah, so... Any birthdays? So unfortunately I did not get a ticket when they released the tickets.

So I only found out in March about the concert. So I did not get a ticket. So I went down there. I got myself a sign, printed out a sign saying, we'll perform Flight of the Concorde song for spare tickets. And this is real, guys. This is real. So basically you were somebody else's overseer.

That's what you were. You know what? For that, I'm going to that Did you end up getting tickets? No You didn't end up getting tickets Well that's a lot of great exposure You got a lot of really good exposure I'm going to give you an I Am Legend DVD on Blu-ray

Spoiler alert He has a dog and a treadmill you an I Am Legend DVD on Blu-ray. Spoiler alert. He has a dog and a treadmill. He weighs seven pounds. We finally figured it out. Vote for Grampin. There you go. Anybody else? Anyone else? It's going so well so far.

Come this way. Come this way, sir. Alright. Your name? My name is Miles. Miles, and go ahead with your overheard, overseen, whatever. Alright. This is around Christmas time. I was at the Chapters on Broadway. Sorry, I'm just

giving a little commentary. Passing a bunch of blue-collar guys sharing a laugh. As I passed by, they said laughter, laughter. And then they said, wow, that's like not jerking yourself off. So many things that could have been. Yeah, how so?

The game of life. So that's like the opposite of jerking yourself off. I think what am I... Do you have a Blu-ray DVD player? Well, no, here I got something else I got a special I don't want to break anything

Alright, what do I got here? Yeah Should I give away this one? I don't see a lot of people Is anybody else going to wade into this? Oh, we got some people We got some people Alright, I'm going to give away this

Dave brought this back for me I think from Bangkok It is the most horrifying t-shirt In the history of t-shirts It's a baby Describe it to us You see that? Everybody see that?

Describe it to the home listener For the home listener, it's a baby dressed in gangster gear. Oh my God. Giving you the finger. But the baby has a wig on. The baby also has a wig. He looks like a member of B44. But he's saying to you, what business is it of yours?

And then on the back, in case you needed to creep it up one notch higher, baby in the womb with a mohawk. There he is. So there you go. You just got re-gifted. Yeah, it's yours, my friend. All the way from Thailand. Miles, everybody. What a great gift.

Overheard? House laugh. Come this way, sir. Dog pound. Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Things that make you go hmm and whatnot. Name? Hi, my name's Aaron. I'm a big fan, big fan.

Aaron two times, we call him. Let me see about the papers. The papers, the papers. All right. Aaron, big fan, big fan. Go ahead. So I was at Dairy Queen in Kitsilano. DQ.

DQ Treats. Cool Eats. I was getting a brazier. Some sort of brazier treat. And I never even saw the person as it was uttered. It was to my back, but I heard it. To my back. It was, don't you just hate trays? Don't you just hate trays?

Don't you just hate trays? You know, like, don't we all just hate trays? That's the opposite of jerking off. Like everybody in there. That's it. I hate trays. That's kind of like poetry, that one. Yeah.

I like it. That felt good. What else do I have to give away? Definitely a Blu-ray. It's better than having you be against it. How many more people do we have for Overheards? We got one more? Any more?

We got one more. Two more? We got two more? How do you feel about a Rock and Roller DVD on Blu-ray? I love it. Yeah. I just bought this today, so I got two now. Yeah.

You're welcome. He is Aaron two times. He's got two of everything. Incredible. All right. We got one, and then this gentleman, make your way over this way. All right. Tip your wait staff

My name is Abby Oh hey that's my girlfriend And her own person Alright Abby Campbell go ahead I don't think Dave has talked about the couple That was fighting early one morning Outside our house

I don't remember I'm a very heavy sleeper I woke up for the last of it And Dave said it had been going on for a while But I woke up to a woman screaming I don't remember. I'm a very heavy sleeper. I woke up for the last of it, and Dave said it had been going on for a while, but I woke up to a woman screaming about 6.30 in the morning, well, I hope you buy some fucking nice flowers for my funeral,

because I'm going to fucking kill myself. I do remember that. Yes. So that's fantastic. Oh, she's just walking away. All right. So no prize? All right.

You just wanted to share. All right. Sir, state your name. My name doesn't matter. Your name doesn't matter? Can I just say your name is Matt? He's got a sexy voice. That's what it sounded like.

It should sound like him. My name doesn't matter. Yeah. I thought he said my name is matt sexy voice that's what it sounded like to sound like him my name doesn't matter yeah i thought he said my name is matt speed it up my name is matt my name is matt okay so his name doesn't matter here's the overheard oh the overseen but does it matter yeah okay all right well yeah as long as something matters all right. Go ahead with your overseeing. Driving over the Second Arrows Bridge. There's an F-350. Ford.

Big-ass truck in front of me. Boom. Right? Good, good. Calvin, be in on a show. And I'm looking at the trailer hitch, and there's something swinging off of it. Oh, I think we know where this is going. Sure do. Cue the chunky bass line.

Sure do. It's Seinfeld. Now, it was a set of brass balls on the back of a F-350. Brass truck nuts. Yeah. I'd never seen them. I'd never seen them before, and I thought, where would you buy a set of brass nuts for your trailer hitch?

I bet he had them made. I don't know. He had them made. Yeah, you know what? They probably were custom made. They probably were custom made. I want a pair of brass nuts. You're driving with those around

all day long. Every day. You got your balls out. You're like, fuck you, Vancouver. His name doesn't matter. These are my balls. But his opinions on brass nuts are going to take you down a notch. I like that one. We got one more.

I like that one. You're in as well? I got it. All right. MJB. Okay, two more, and then we're going to move on with the... No, no, wait. There's a guy here.

Just slow down, Grabby. Get out of my light. Your name? Well, this is actually important. My name is Nick Marino. And this is a commercial drive one, because I walked into the Brutso coffee bar about a year ago and just as I opened the door and I walked in, these two old guys are talking and one guy

said, Mike Marino doesn't know what the hell he's talking about. And they were talking about my dad. And just as an aside, he's right over there. Dad, do you want to give him a wave? Mike Marino! Mike Marino, everybody! He has no idea what he's waving about.

He doesn't know what he's talking about! I've always said that about him. You think you can compete with that? All right. Does Nick get a prize? Well, we're going to see, because this is for the Snuggies. Oh, this is for all the Snuggies? Oh, this is for all the Snuggies.

This is the last prize. I'm going to leave this up to the audience vote. So here we go. I've got Pop Rocks if anyone wants them. Hit it, football guy. Once again, from Commercial Drive, I'm walking down between Kitchener and Charles, and I hear this

loud commotion going on. And I hear, why don't you learn how to drive? Do you think you own the road? So I turn and I look, and I see this guy leaning in the window of the car, screaming at this lady driver, and then he storms away and

jumps on his moped and drives away. That's where you lost me. Pretty good. We got football guy, moped rage, and we have Jake Marino's dad's an idiot. How can you compete? How can you compete with Nick Marino's dad's an idiot. How can you compete?

How can you compete with Mike Marino? Mike Marino? Mike Marino, what do you say? All right, Nick, come up here. Whose dad doesn't want a Snuggie? Win yourself a Snuggie. Is a Snuggie big enough for two? That is such a good line, Shuka.

Try it on, please. I want people to know this shit's legitimate. Is that how you flirt, Dave? Is this snuggie big enough for two? Yeah. That's how I flirt. God damn it. Yes, and.

Abby didn't stand a chance, did she? Did you throw that to football? Nick Marino, how do you feel? Wow. I feel snuggie. Nick feels snuggie. Look at him, everybody. How cuddly. I dare you not to hug him. Nick Marino, how do you feel? Wow, that was some pop rock Nick Marino, look at him everybody How cuddly, I dare you not to hug him We're wearing the Snuggie right now

He's wearing it right now That's all the overheards everybody Round of applause for everybody that contributed That's a hug, that's a chick magnet right there Alright everybody, we got one more segment we want to do. Yeah. I'll just play the theme song. Wait.

What are you made of? Can you see with both your eyes? Look in the distance. It's easy if you try. Watch all the movies. And don't waste your time. Just give it a line. One line. Graham's Dad

That is of course the theme song for Graham's Dad movie reviews. And for people who For people who are unfamiliar with this segment, my dad when he watches movies has an ability to condense down the entire plot, cinematography, direction

and everything to one sentence and then he'll tell you it's pretty good or give it a miss. So our format for this... So give me an example. For example, The Fugitive. Oh, also your dad, very bad at remembering actors' names. Yeah, very bad. So The Fugitive would

be the guy who played Indiana Jones jumps out of a drainpipe. Yeah. Yeah, very bad. So the fugitive would be the guy who played Indiana Jones jumps out of a drainpipe. Yeah. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. That's generally how they go. So this week, I called Graham's dad

and I asked him for his movie reviews about, there's about seven movies, and I asked for Graham's dad's opinion of these movies, and Graham is going to try to guess what the review would be. And can I say that at growing up, when I first read

a full movie review, I was like, why is this so fucking long? Okay. All right. So these are actual... Did you tape? Yeah, yeah. Graham's dad.

So we're going to hear Graham's... What Graham thinks his dad reviewed it as. And then we'll hear what my dad actually... This is incredible. It's like Kid Street. Only more awesome and still on the air The first movie is Uncle Buck

What I would say Would be John Candy makes a bunch of giant pancakes With a snow shovel That's what I would say Pretty good John Candy's a bachelor who's looking after three kids.

He's babysitting three kids and they're smarter than he is. It's pretty good. He sounds way younger than I pictured. Yeah, why does he sound so young? I have a Motorola Razr. Or maybe he should speed it up and man it up.

He should go to the Jason Bryden school of man talk. Maybe I'll call your dad. What's that supposed to mean? I hope that doesn't mean anything. That came out so creepy. I didn't mean for that to happen. I'm not giving you his number. Maybe I'll call your dad.

That doesn't uncreepy it at all. Number two. Kindergarten cop. call your dad. That doesn't make it better. That doesn't uncreepy it at all. Number two. Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop. Okay, number two. Kindergarten cop. I'm going to say Arnold Schwarzenegger tells a kid it's not a tumor. Pretty good.

Arnold Schwarzenegger is babysitting some kids who are smarter than he is and he tries to convince them that his headache isn't a tumor. Pretty good. Pretty good.

That was great. Are you and your dad close? Very, yeah. Yeah, maybe you should give his dad a call. I regret that. Thelma and Louise. Alright. Two ladies in the movie

drive over a cliff at the end. Give it a miss. Gina Davis and the woman from Bull Durham are on a road trip in a convertible and they try to make their car fly. It's pretty good. Oh! Oh, disappointment! I'm surprised.

He really worked the paws, too. He really did. It was pregnant. Rain Man. Jack Zang. Jack Zang? Do you want to weigh in on this? I have Asperger's.

All right. I have Asperger's. I'm pretty sure that's not what my dad said. I'm pretty sure that's too many syllables for Graham's dad. I think, okay. It's Rain Man. Oh, uh... Dustin Hoffman.

I want to say, like, the guy from Born on the Fourth of July. Top Gun. Gamble together. And he's obsessed with clean underwear. I'm going to say... Give it a miss. Whoa.

Controversial. Yeah, exactly. Dustin Hoffman and his brother are on a road trip in a big yellow Cadillac, and he only buys his boxing shorts from Kmart. It's really good. Really good. But I was right about the underwear. It's pretty good. I knew that he would hit the underwear. Yeah, that's not creepy when I say it because it's my dad. Karate Kid. Yeah, that's not creepy when I say it, because it's my dad.

Karate Kid. Oh, uh... Superfan. We got a superfan. I guarantee you your dad didn't sing the theme song. I think my dad would say Karate Kid. Little Kid. Hooks up Yeah Hooks up with

With a An Asian gentleman Teaches him to wax on wax off Wins in a karate fight It's pretty good That's my guess Karate kid Mr. Miyagi

Tried to teach a kid How to Do karate And wax cars. It's pretty good. Was it pretty good? It's pretty good. Yeah!

I think he said it was okay. I am shocked that he has retained Mr. Miyagi. Well, you need to give him more credit. Yeah, I really do. I think he's getting kind of cocky with this newfound fame. Yeah.

He's doing research. He's also parading around my mom. He's like, who's got a segment on the podcast? Who's got a segment? That is awesome. He's getting a little big at the kitchen table. Okay. Braveheart.

Oh, Mel Gibson says he's half blue, half not blue. Tells the troops they'll never take our country. I don't know if he liked it or not. I'm going to say give it a miss. I'm going to say give it a miss. All right. No, you think? He liked it.

He liked it? All right. I'll say yeah. give it a miss. All right. No, you think? He liked it. He liked it? All right. I'll say yeah. It's pretty good. Is Clark a Scottish name? Clark is not. It's in English or Irish. All right.

We're Irish. It says something. It says something. Yeah. Braveheart, Mel Gibson paints his face and tries to ask Scottish. It's god awful. Give it a miss. That's what I said!

You were right! You know your dad better than everyone. I cannot believe I let you sway me on that. I hope you learned your lesson. Man up! Okay, one more. One more! Be your own person. This is pretty obvious, Okay, one more. One more.

Be your own person. This is pretty obvious, because your dad actually requested this. Okay. Cool hand Luke. Going all the way back. Cool hand Luke. Paul Newman says to a guy, Oh no, Paul Newman is told by the guy with glasses, I think we have...

I think what we have here is a misunderstanding. It's a failure to communicate. What we have here is different word talk. He made a great point, though. He made a great point.

So postmodern. Is it giving a miss? Oh, no. Yeah, exactly. All right. Is it give and a miss? Oh, no. It's absolutely pretty good. Or best movie ever. We'll have Luke. Paul Newman wrenches the heads off some parking meters. He eats 50 hard-boiled eggs, and he fails to communicate.

It's definitely a must-see. Yes! Do you want to wrap it up? I do indeed. That was a round of applause for my dad and his awesome movie reviews. That was great. Outstanding all around. Well, thank you so much, everybody, for coming out.

We've got the Tequila Mockingbird Orchestra is going to come up after us. And they're a wonderful group. And you guys are going to love them. Thank you so much for everybody coming out here to the podcast. Did you guys enjoy yourself? Sure did. And Jason, thank you so much for joining us.

Thanks for having me, you guys. And come back next week for another thrilling edition of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Happy birthday, Grandpa.