Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 631

Episode Date: April 20, 2020

Guestless and in isolation, we talk about checking in on people, The 15:17 to Paris, and Ton of Cash. Plus we form the Bradley Cooper Movie Club.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 631 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always in a secret underground bunker, Mr. Dave Shumka. Hi bunker, bunker heads, bunkerinos. Yeah, bunkerinos. What's up big bunk baby? Yeah, bunkanaires.

Bo, yeah, the Tampa Bay bunkanaires. We welcome Bunkanairs. Bo. Yeah. The Tampa Bay Bunkanairs. We welcome Tom Brady. Tom Bunky. And let's see. Also the Denver Bunkos. Yeah. The Denver Bunkos.

I think there should be. I hope they do a Super Bowl bunker. Super Bunk. Super. I hope. They do a Super Bunk. Super bunker ball and they have the denver bunkers and the tampa bay bunkaneers i love it i love it if the whole league has been purchased by some kind of going bed concern and they just change all the names to reflect the hot new beds that they have coming in this fall the hot new

types of bed the bunk and the whole nfl is bought by one bad company that's gotten rich off bunk and it's because they sell you an extra level they never that's not something you even see advertised like uh yeah that's true like you never see the mattress commercials are just about like here's what's new in mattresses and and uh of course we worship at the teat of casper mattresses here on that podcast we worship the teeth we don't suckle at it no we're tea worshipers we're simps um uh should we get to know us yeah get to know us i was gonna say he's tom brady is he talking about retiring he's he's in his last i heard he just left his team the patriots the patriots and

he's just signed with the tampa bay buccaneers oh okay so he's not retiring he's he's on a whole new brand new bag but i did see a headline about something about giselle says he was tough on her their marriage or something i i saw a headline i didn't even pick up the entire headline giselle to tom you're tough on my marriage get out of my way what do you know about their marriage um well i have no idea where they would have met um he's very isn't he very religious do i don't know they were both victoria's secret models oh there you go and they met on the runway backstage you know who he's a model for who he does commercials for

ug boots he does not does he yeah he's he's like mr ug wow yeah i guess some athlete would have had to have landed that account and yeah but he uh it wouldn't have to be an athlete though what couldn't it be like ashton kutcher or yeah or jeff bridges i feel like also could be a guy that would be like hey man check out these boots that are kind of comfy i mean i laugh but it's no more ridiculous than tom brady being mr rugg um tom brady is he the is he the winningest quarterback that ever there was? I don't know what winningest means, but yeah, people call him the goat. He's the goat. And then he's going to get an EGOT.

He's going to be a goat with the EGOT. Yeah. Here's what I know about his marriage to Giselle. Okay. They eat crazy. They have crazy food rules. Like diet rules? Yeah.

Okay. No, no. Crazy food rules. Like diet rules? Yeah. Okay. No, no. Crazy food rules. They only eat crazy foods. They're actually the people behind that Nailed It show on Netflix. They were like, I want to eat the craziest thing you can come up with. They get all of their baked goods from the cake boss yes crazy things yeah no i just remember they like a list came out of the things they they are not allowed to eat and it was a lot of sugars and a lot of like nightshades

sneaking some tomatoes in the middle of the night yeah i had to look at what a nightshade is it's like yeah it's like anything that makes up a ketchup they're not only allowed any ketchup or ketchup components yeah so see you later molasses get out of here vinegar yeah the only other thing i know about their marriage is not even about their marriage it's about his his uh fatherhood style where there was just a some news crew was following him around and he was getting a massage and his son came in to talk to him and then give him a kiss on the lips which is totally fine but it's totally fine his son was like i don't know eight or nine when did you stop kissing your dad on the lip i don't when you moved away yeah when i yeah when yeah we saved it for that we said as soon

as you leave the house but you know what when you come back to visit i definitely remember the last time i gave my dad a kiss i it wasn't on the lips but it was like on the cheek and i was like i'm too old to be kissing him now aren't i yeah if we're not italian that's true because in other cultures there's a lot of greeting and kissing and our our culture is not that but sometimes i'll i somebody i'll meet will be a kisser somebody from an older generation than mine i don't think anybody certainly from before these self-isolation time yes but there was it is going to be a long time before it's going to be a long time before i shake hands yeah even after they they lift this stuff i think we should do i think uh i think it was

past guest paul f tompkins who said if there was a way to not culturally appropriate but somehow borrowed the bow instead of the handshake uh yeah that would be a nice it'd be nice i i honor your i'm honored with your presence yeah here's a little bow you honor me um i do a little prayer hands too yes um i do the arsenio hall and his band leader one finger touch oh yeah maybe it'll be more one finger touches in the future yeah yeah like et or arsenio hall both had long fingers yeah um but i think the weird thing about tom brady kissing his son was just that he was in the middle of getting massaged he was getting massaged face up oh you know what that means uh there's no there's not a masseuse in this world legit that does a face up much

they're all down face face down ass up that's right it's the masseuse's way uh yeah so uh uh how have you been doing how are you doing? How have you been doing this last week? Yeah. Fine. We have not seen each other since last week. That's right. We have not. We have scarcely spoken. Yeah. You checked in on me once.

I was fine. You were fine. How were you? I was also fine. Do you? How many people are on your check-in to list? I think I'm up around the high 70s or 80s you check in on 70 or 80 people yeah something like that how many people check in on you my

parents tom brady giselle because i send them a christmas card every year um and then uh past guest alicia tobin checks in on me yeah and uh and then yeah the rest of the time i'm checking i'm i'm the one who knocks does it count if i check if you check in on me first if i'm also like and also how are you yeah i kind of checking in on you i give you partial credit yeah but you don't have 70 but is everyone you check in on say that back to you uh yeah no yes for the most part yes but there's there's it's always a surprise when a person doesn't when they're like how you doing good good that's it you're like okay well maybe i don't need to check up on you so much uh um yeah i think i check up on

um not in the double digits no you got a single digit list yeah and certainly more people if like if i heard they were you know going through something yes of course i'll check in on but then that dies down like as soon as soon as you're out of the woods you go back into the woods what's your check what was your check-in on number before this uh i don't like i wouldn't uh i wouldn't do it it's different because it's like you know you're also able to like see people out and about and just say yeah how's it going and you're also like it's you don't think of everybody uh all the time always so it'll just like somebody will cross my mind and i'll be like oh i should see how that person's doing and so i'll write them a message usually through messenger and uh and then

yeah so like i'm always doing it but not to the same list on a weekly basis right yeah do you have a list or do you just i check it twice wow are they all naughty Most of them have been pretty naughty. I have a lot of friends in the adult toy community. And they're a naughty bunch. They're a nasty bunch. Yeah. They're putting a lot of spikes on things. Oh, yeah. Little nubs.

Yeah. Little nubs, ticklers, et cetera. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They tick kind of with tiny nubs, so their irons aren't always flying off on the backswing and uh well that's good you're a good person well it's it gives me peace of mind to you know i feel like should it should there be you know how on facebook if you're if your uh birthday is not on facebook and your birthday is not on Facebook that's right uh but you'll get there's there are people who just they do it they just say happy

birthday to everyone on Facebook right every day it's like part of their routine right and so if you go to uh like if you go to my Facebook page I don't participate in Facebook very much. Yeah. But all of the posts on my wall are, hey, happy birthday. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Like years apart. I feel like Facebook should have a, like a check it on so-and-so today. Yeah. Their posts have been depressing.

Oh boy. Have you ever gotten somebody who just writes hbd that's weak yeah well unless you're uh they're like hey big dick hey big dick yeah well that's true if it's not your birthday and they write hbd that's a compliment coming your way yeah um um so yeah that's what i've been up to been getting checked in on you know i uh it's been like we recorded last wednesday it's now a wednesday nothing has happened in between or it feels that way feels like every day is exactly the same right um i the other day we went to i took the girls to the beach Oh fun Because it was like sunny It was still you know 12 degrees

But in their mind they're like we're going to the beach Let's bring our swimsuits And I'm like no we're going to the beach Just because it's like a different texture On your feet Yeah this is not a surfing safari We will not be bringing home anything you pick up at the beach Because it's not

Some kind of holiday beach This is just regular city beach yeah yeah um we we brought home a few rocks you know there's one that was heart-shaped we got to paint it later yeah um and that was part of like it was it before that we went to mcdonald's yeah which is uh uh not something i'm very proud of but it's really like great time killer yeah because now it takes 15 minutes just to get through the drive-thru line and then you are uh and by that time you're like kids are starving you gotta you're gonna eat it you're eating in the car you're you're gonna eat it you're eating in the car you're right the whole trip between like we spent maybe an hour at the beach but it was like a three hour uh excursion our day which was great because all i want to do is eat up time yeah

no i i can totally understand that and so that's why it's good to bring home rocks that you'll eventually will paint yep uh yeah and then maybe maybe one sticks around for a couple years becomes a doorstop let's it's possible yeah i mean we are so deep into the time wasting that we went to the beach a few weeks ago as well and today i saw abby like uh shellacking the previously painted rocks so like the paint will stay on longer yeah that's good that's a just another project yeah that's a preservationist's mind you know um so that's good the beach is good kids love the beach even if it's not like a fun, soft beach, even if it's a rocky beach. Yeah, they like the idea of the beach. Yeah. When did I start hating the idea of a beach?

I don't know. I definitely don't like it now. I will tell you this much. A beach in the age of social distancing, pretty good. Yeah, yeah, that's true. Like a beach in the springtime when you're not covering yourself in sunscreen and you're not uh you know surrounded by a million other people right where there's enough parking and then you're making it sound pretty good it's pretty good yeah um yeah i think

i've only ever been to the beach when it's everybody's there or in the dead of winter when nobody's there you've never done a spring never done a spring at the beach yeah this was maybe my first beach visit without significant foot trauma i feel like cutting my foot or stubbing my toe a lot of barefoot outdoor stuff is uh is involved in the beach usually yeah yeah and it's um you know uh we have both we have both types of beaches here we have soft fun fun in the sun sand beaches and then just rocky algae crusted rocks yeah yeah yeah so we're very blessed uh yeah we're very blessed uh i like personally i like soft i like soft foot yeah yeah soft foot is good but you know what super hot in the summer gotta wear have you yeah have you um seen they have those uh baby foot masks yes yes uh right

for a second i thought it was for a baby foot but no i remember this that it's a no it's a baby it's a it's a baby foot that you put over your face uh like a mask uh no i guess it's a baby uh no it's a like a like a cosmetic mask that you put on your foot and it... Fucks your shit up. And pull it off. It fucks your shit up and then your feet feel super soft for, I don't know, 10 minutes afterwards. And then you got to go back to walking on them. Yeah, that's true.

It's like... Have you done any of this like stuff? Like a foot thing? Some sort of foot thing? Or any... Have you done any pampering um no i once did i once went and got a pedicure that was for uh a bit and yeah and i and i get like i get it i i get it when i get why people get it done but also i can't i just don't like the position of

being like i'm a fancy prince and you're touching my feet oh yeah the money yeah that is that's tough uh that dynamic uh i have i'm i took off my sock now we as we are not in the same room that's true i'm not i'm not wearing socks at all so there you go oh god uh i uh i looked at my toes i don't think i don't think they're summer ready no mine aren't either uh but mine are never because they look like a hobbit's foot so yeah what can i do about that i don't know the part that the part that I don't like isn't right at the edge. I just have to wait for that part to grow out. Right? Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. Like the thing that's weird is always during the summer. If I'm doing a standup show, I'll start with the disclaimer that all men need to either take care of their feet or cover them up. That's the, that should be the deal that is across the board and

i was in winnipeg last summer and i did that joke and the woman in the front row was like not all guys have uh weird gross feet and i was like name one and she's like my boyfriend and he took his foot out of a flip-flop and he honest to god had the best looking foot i've ever seen like the smoothest nicest good, no raggedy hairs. It was amazing. I thought you were going to say he took his foot out of a Christmas stocking, which he had been walking around in all year. The problem with my toe is I really bang.

So one time I came back from yoga and i was like oh abby they showed us this crazy move let me show you and then i did it and i kicked a hole in the wall i thought i had more room not a big hole just but like a toenail sized hole and i really like my toenail was bleeding after that and i had to like patch the wall and uh yeah it's it's just still like growing out from christmas i tore it up so badly oh yeah there's nothing the worst better than somebody trying to show off a thing and then doing the exact opposite of kicking a hole in the wall scalding themselves with a thing of soup whatever they threw hot soup at us and i i got out of the way try it yeah um yeah it's uh i'm always stubbing either big toe or little toe oh they're they're constantly

getting stubbed yeah that's true the little toe is always like you're coming around a corner yeah and you're just you have like one you know like four centimeters too much of body and it's all in the pinky toe just crank it on the side of something oh yeah um yeah no it's worse it's the worst worst do you think you could go uh would you hmm how do i phrase this what do i want to ask okay how would life would you think you would like life better with eight toes with eight toes yeah i think i i don't I wonder how much that little bit of space that the pinky toe occupies affects your balance. I bet a lot. Like, probably a lot, right? Yeah.

Especially if you've lived your whole life with it. Yeah. I'm sure you would be better at it if you were four toes from the get-go. Yeah. Four toes from the get-go. Yeah. From the get-go. Four toes from the get-go. Yeah, I do think about that sometimes. Because, you know, the pinky toe is so small. It seems vestigial, but it probably is not.

It probably is something. Yeah. I guess the last time I thought about taking it off was when i thought there was going to be a draft and uh you know how do i get out of this not an nfl draft but like an army draft no the nfl draft oh yeah i was really worried because i had done so well at the combine uh i ran a two second 40 meter 40 yard 40-yard. I won the pancake eating contest at the combine, and then I jumped the highest. What a summer you had.

Yeah, it was one crazy summer. It was the year where they were scouting all the NCAA players and then a few people who did intramural ultimate at the University of Victoria. Was that your sport in university? No, I mean, I did it once. I did it one year, but like I never could throw it forehand. Right. but like i never could throw it forehand well right i was really i was a really good like if you threw a frisbee into a crowd of people i was usually the one who came away with it oh okay

then i couldn't couldn't do anything with it i was really uh i can jump really high and i can you know be slippery in the air yeah yeah yeah uh or i could you, 18 years ago. Actually, tomorrow, Abby and I will have been together 20 years. Are you kidding? How old? How young were we once? Yeah, how young you were. Wow, 20 years. Congratulations.

Thanks. If we make it to tomorrow. Well, that's true. If you don't get drafted by an Ultimate Frisbee team. She's been listening to giselle bad mouth our marriage so she's not just bad mouthing her own marriage she's going around she's a homewrecker yeah she hates the institution of it um so yeah enough of that silliness here's what i did this week because i was like i have to every day is the same i have nothing to talk about i have

to do something and i can't do anything so i'll have to watch something yeah um and so uh in on this podcast in the past we've talked about some of the uh clint eastwood movies that we enjoy his directing work yes um i like also his starring work oh yeah some his starring and directing work damn right like gran torino and his singing work that's right do not discount his singing work um we i saw the mule did you see the mule no uh i saw that on a plane I'm tempted to watch it Is it bad? Yeah It's bad in the way of like He's this old man who

He loses his I watched this months ago So I'm trying to piece it together He loses his gardening Business And then he So he meets a guy who's like hey i i need you to drive some stuff for me and uh it's drugs and he he drops it off and they're like wow

what a great drug driver and they give him more and more work and he makes more and more money and he bites a cool truck oh and then like even early on they're like oh we got we got a someone in town is bummed out they have to close down the rec hall unless you know someone who's come into some money not the rec hall like the veterans hall yes yes and so he's got to use his money to pay them and then so he just uh he just ends up driving he's like the best mule they got because no one suspects an old man and he does have true he does have two threesomes in it does he know what really yeah yeah yeah yeah hot yeah hot clint eastwood action some yeah off screen but you see it about to happen and you know he closes that deal yeah maybe i'll become a mule yeah you got huh do you think you would go

unsuspected no i uh literally get checked every time i go through any airport they bring me for secondary inspection also you have like you you travel with so much medicine that's true so yeah so you're like where are these going even these legitimate pills seem like you're mulling something yeah anyway so the movie i watched yesterday is a movie called the 1517 to paris oh goodness yes i know i know what this is so it's got uh it's got some of the best sitcom actors you've ever seen okay judy greer nice jenna fisher wow tony hale oh thomas lennon holy cow and jaleel white as our call and we play as grown-up urkel grown-up urkel okay let's okay yes he actually is he plays a teacher and he's so he has to stop the students and say all right eyes up here does anyone have any cheese?

Someone, you know, someone leaves a thumbtack on his chair and he says, who did this? Who did this? Did I do that? These are the things he said. Yeah. Grown up Urkel. No, he. So all of these actors are in the like flashback so this is a story uh the movie about

these americans who thwarted a gun attack on a train in europe right and and the the big thing about it is that instead of hiring actors to yes to play these characters in this real life story they hired the real life people now what would have been even cooler is if he also had the crew was all people who were also on that train and they uh they don't know what they're doing a lot of the shots are crooked you can see the boom in every shot the costumer is just someone who bought a shirt once yeah all the guys on the train are wearing matching suits that they just buy at a going out of business sale

um yeah so the there's how many of them four guys three well there's there's three people who knew each other and a fourth guy who's not in the story uh so it starts with like it flashes back to their childhood and how they all became friends and how their mothers were judy greer and jenna fisher and they had a hand in raising me so yeah that's true through your 20s and 30s um but they uh and there's no reason to know about their childhood except that this movie would otherwise be 10 minutes long right yeah it's like uh i feel like the also the one about richard jewel uh that's a clindy's wood yeah that that seemed like it was

like kind of half an hour of content stretched over movie time did you just found the thing no i didn't see it do you see it no um it i will i promise i probably will also but i don't know why did they get richard jewel to play himself oh my god oh what a dream no it was eddie murphy in a fat suit he used the same one from nutty professor and the clumps he just put on a hat an id tag that said richard jewel and they started filming um the uh so it starts off with them kids uh with them kids damn kids and they go they grow up and then they're these were so two of them were in the military a third guy wasn't okay and the guy who's not in the military is probably the best actor of the three okay but

it's gotta be like so you learn about them wanting their as their kids they love war when they grow up they want to join the military right and then and now they're you see them as grown-ups so they're playing themselves through an hour of this movie right and they're i guess it's not they're playing themselves through an hour of this movie. Right. And they're, I guess it's not, they're not bad enough for it to have been like laughably bad. Like it's not like nobody's keeps staring at the camera and stuff like that. Yeah. Yeah.

No one like keeps calling Judy Greer, Judy Greer. They do call her mom um is there is there any kind of idea or like title card or something that explains the rationale behind this behind hiring them yeah no and i even was like going through the IMDB. It wasn't like, yeah, we tried to get, you know, Channing Tatum, but he was busy. No, it's, it was, I don't know exactly, but they went and the whole thing, it's just like, they go backpacking through Europe. Right. And they keep talking about, about oh i feel like there's

a greater purpose for me and uh i wonder what that might be just some someday you know if something will just pop up yeah sometime maybe in the afternoon one day uh something will happen maybe between like 15 and 16 o'clock yeah and then they introduce a heavy in the movie who's like you'll nothing will ever happen to you punks you guys are gonna go your whole life and nothing's gonna happen to you and then you're going on the 15 17 to nowhere and then he shows up in the last he's the one that has to give them a medal at the end like you sure showed me and they go through so they're going backpacking through europe and they're like huh i really like venice well off we go to berlin berlin is great i hear

we should go to paris no don't go to paris everyone says paris is bad oh let's but i've always wanted to go to Paris. No way, man. Paris is going to be a... Like, the one time you're going to Europe, you're going to Paris. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Euro Disney at the very least. Yeah.

And so they do eventually go to Paris. Or they try to. They get on the train. And then a guy comes out of the bathroom on the train covered in guns and tries to shoot everybody. Now, was this a robbery attempt or was this a terrorism thing? Terrorism. Terrorism. Okay.

Yeah. All right. And so they, one guy goes and pummels them. Right. And then they literally like, they pummel him for a long time. Yeah. The guy puts up a fight, but there's three guys him for a long time. Yeah. The guy puts up a fight. Uh-huh.

But there's three guys, three strong young men. Yeah. And they are just beating on him. Yeah. And then there's a shot of the train from the exterior, like, going through the countryside in France. And then back to the interior, and they just keep pummeling him. So, it's like more time is passing. interior and they just keep pummeling up so it's like more time is passing uh it's the train goes by uh you know what the station and somebody's saying goodbye to their loved one and they're

still pounding on them when they're in the station yeah a soldier is reaching his head out of the train to kiss his wife goodbye uh that's yeah well i mean if it's the only event that happens in the whole movie yeah you need to stretch her out and then at the very end it's got uh they they uh are awarded this uh medal of honor from the president of france and it's real footage of the president of france giving him this right medal save some money yeah it's kind of intercut with like shots from behind the president where you can see judy greer and jenna fisher there because they weren't originally that cast as their moms three years earlier that's right

well but you know they could have brought those uh they could have brought both of them as dates to their yeah that's true they should have they should have cast this at the time um so yeah it's uh it's a great film i honestly was like oh what can i watch what would be fun and what is under two hours and nothing is under two hours no that's true except clint eastwood movies yeah maybe maybe that's what clint eastwood has on the rest of the the film industry is length of film nice and short you know how long is dick jewel that's got i bet you i bet it's a buck and a half yeah um it's weird that yeah all movies are now two hour excursions at the minimum except horror movies oh yeah how how long are those those those generally come in at like the hour and a half mark because you can't

maintain that level of craziness for two hours you know um and if you maintain that level of craziness for four hours you're supposed to call a doctor hey um yeah so horror movies still stick to time but everybody else so that's what's going on with me what's up with you well um i also have been watching i've been consuming some media you love media as long as i've known you you've been a media guy you love um content i love content is king the content's king media is uh you know where my head is at i love it i do my socials i get my all my different media feeds i love you subscribe to you to six newspapers that arrive every morning yep i do the crossword in each of them. Do your parents still get a newspaper?

Yes. Yeah. Yeah, mine too. Yeah, I think that's a thing that is, you know, that's it. That's the last group of people that will get newspapers. And then everyone else will crack a fresh iPad every Monday. Throw it out on Friday. My parents called me.

There was someone who had written a story about five local podcasts to listen to during self-isolation and we were on that. My dad called and said, oh, do you want me to send you this? I was like, no.

That's his big play as a newspaper subscriber is that he can send you a clip I can clip it out for you I found a bunch of my parents house or they gave it to me a few months ago when you bought a birth announcement back in the day the newspaper would clip several out and send them to you you bought a birth announcement back in the day. Oh yeah. Uh,

they, the newspaper would clip, clip several out and send them to you. Yeah. So like they sent me, they gave me an envelope with like 10 born on this day, uh, uh,

a new, uh, wonderful counselor, almighty God, the everlasting father, they, the Prince of peace. Yeah yeah they've really flowered up this uh birth announcement for david shumkat they did was it also back in the day like a rule of law

that you had to make a wedding announcement in a paper or else it didn't count as i know no i definitely know that it must have been a rule of law that you had to put a name change in the paper. That's what I'm thinking of. That's what I think of. It's like, henceforth, so-and-so will be known as, you know, Taco Johnny. Yeah. Yeah. I remember it being a lot, like when I used to see them in the back of the newspaper, it being a lot of like, you know uh immigrants giving themselves a an english name oh i see yes um the uh dumbledore that's right and easy to pronounce rolls off the tongue

i uh speaking of movies uh i watched a movie i think you, but maybe not, but it's one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen, but thinks it's really smart is Limitless. Yeah, that is dumb. But you can tell that when they made it, they're like, this is smart. We are smart. This is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pill movie, the movie about the clear pill that makes you

the smartest man in the world for a few minutes yeah and i just i just enjoyed watching it so much because uh every part of it like uh didn't work you know but the whoever put it together was like, this is good, smooth, that makes sense. Yeah. And you also don't ever really like the main character, so I don't know why. Because he just seems kind of like a real dirtbag the whole movie. Yeah, he's limitless except in terms of his likability. There's limits on that.

So, yeah, I watched that. And the main character is Bradleyadley cooper bradley cooper and then the bad guy's supposed to be robert de niro but he's more likable than bradley cooper in it is he the bad guy they but he wants the pill they they but he wants it for his company yeah he he does company and i think the movie is so lazy that his company is called Big Pharma. I think that's right. And he wants Bradley Cooper before he knows that there's a pill. And then he wants the pill. I want that brain of yours.

So that he can have unprotected sex he doesn't know what the pill does he thinks it's a birth control yeah so sort of contraceptive yeah but even if even if you take birth control do not have unprotected sex with bradley cooper promise me i promise this i promise you um so i watched that and then i was trying to find we do a bradley cooper a week movie club yeah let's do that because he's in the mule okay yeah i'll watch another bradley cooper movie this week i would like to watch uh uh the star is born oh okay if you watch the star is born do we want to both watch the same movie or different bradley cooper movies i guess we do different bradley cooper movies or should

we do the same ones how does a book club work uh yeah i think they read the same they don't just read whatever book no but they can pick a theme bradley cooper well i'll read books about bradley cooper then we'll compare and contrast yeah let's both watch a star is born that's a good way of doing it okay um i uh was trying to find uh an old documentary not like super old but it's called american movie and it's about this guy in like oh yeah this guy in the Midwest that's trying to make a horror movie. Yeah. Coven. Coven, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you think of this movie because of COVID-19? Yeah, it was kind of on my mind because of that. And then I tracked down a service that was streaming it it and there was a horror movie streaming site that you could sign up for a week trial and so i did that so i could watch that but then while i was there i was like why not oven or american movie no i watched an american movie okay um and then while i was there i thought why not see watch some horror movies get a little you know some night thrills so I watched some horror movies

and some good some bad the best one I think I watched was It Follows have you seen that no I guess not I don't know the last horror movie I saw that's the thing I don't

really I'm not a horror movie buff by any stretch, but I do like a good spooky kind of thriller. And it follows with. Graham, we're zooming this. Oh, yeah. I can see your room right now and do not turn around. What should I do instead? Wash my face?

Graham, do not say Candyman into the camera three times. So, yeah, I watched that. And I watched one that was... What's It Follows about? It Follows... Are any of them about anything? Or is it just about the spooky stuff? It Follows... Spoiler for anybody who hasn't seen it. Z's about a spooky stuff it's it follows spoiler for anybody

who hasn't seen it zip past this yeah yeah oh you might see the 80s one no it's it's in present like set in the 80s does it have 80s music no no it's like uh but it's it's the concept is really great the concept of the movie is, but I don't want to spoil it for anybody. So how about like the concept itself spoils it? No, it doesn't spoil it, but it's fun to like watch the movie and be like, what the hell's going on? And then have it revealed to you. So if you have never read anything about it, then I suggest watching it. Okay.

What's the one with John krasinski and the uh the quiet the quiet place uh yeah yeah have you seen that one no is that one good i don't know i haven't seen any current present day i went through like i think in my early 20s i saw like the ring and the grudge and right anything anything korean yeah for a spook yeah and uh i would uh i watched a lot of in when i was a teenager i watched a lot of like uh nightmare on elm street uh friday the 13th leather face all those guys you know that whole gang yeah um and then uh but they were they were a lot of them were very silly. Yeah.

The horror movies now are a lot gorier and the stuff looks more real. So you kind of get that sick feeling. Yeah. You don't get from watching an old schlocky horror movie. Did I ever like them? I guess I liked, I was, I'm a, I think I'm a pretty easy scare yeah i think i am too uh i think i've mentioned that my favorite horror movie of all time would probably be arachnophobia because it's it's light yeah exactly kind of funny john goodman john goodman plays an exterminator nice

nice um yeah so uh but i like them i like one that's well done i don't love gore but i know that's like part of the the whole recipe yeah but yeah i watched i watched one that it was called the room and not tommy wiseau room it was uh and not room the oh no which was also pretty scary sure too real yeah too real yeah uh watched it on a flight i don't know why i did that it's not a fun in-flight movie very heavy um but yeah i watched one about a room that grants people wishes, but, uh, you know what? Maybe those wishes come with some sort of horrible, uh,

you know, attachment. And, uh, you know, you're, you're going to find out the hard way that there's no such thing as a free wish.

Uh, yeah. So it's like, it's like, I would wish, uh, I wish there was a pill that would make me limitless. Yeah.

And it would do. But with that comes, people are going to be after that pill. Well, and also with that comes that they can't put a limitless charm. They can't do that. You have no charm. No, that's true. You'll be the smartest guy in the room. Smartest guy in the room.

And then you're also smart at fighting like people will come to attack you and you'll be able to see how to fight them with it's you're smart yeah you're smart time slows down for you yeah and you get to your get to wiggle around and and you're also really good at catching a frisbee. There's also a scene that I think we've talked about in Limitless where the woman who's dating Bradley Cooper at some point has to escape attackers. And so she takes a Limitless pill. Yeah, she takes a Limitless pill. Bradley Cooper's like, your brain will know what to do.

And she looks around and she sees a guy playing with a baseball bat. She's like, you think for sure that's the thing. And then another guy maybe like trimming a hedge with a chainsaw. And then a girl skating. And that's what she uses to evade the captors. She uses the girl's skate. She swings her around. Cuts the guy's throat

she tries to cut his throat she doesn't get him she gets him in the face mangles him I'm really excited about Bradley Cooper movie club DCMC 2019 2020 oh shit oh shit and then the other

thing that I've watched is I had, have you had, aside from work, any occasion, like have you Zoomed with your family or anything? We did a dinner Zoom. Yes, we also did a dinner Zoom. It was a disaster Zoom. Were people stalling out at different points? Was that happening?

No, it was, I have nine, sorry, I have seven nieces and nephews. My parents have nine grandkids. They, and in some of the households, two kids would be in the Zoom, like have logged onto the Zoom in the same room. And you would just hear them say something over two or three microphones right which made it completely uh chaotic right and no one like it was like okay we always have dinner at 5 30 on sunday nights at my parents house so let's log on at 5 30 we were sitting like with our knives and forks in hand the one one laptop on the table we're all sitting as a family waiting for this zoom to start and then everyone else logs on they've got like multiple i never saw anyone eat their dinner except us

i thought we were like doing a sit down to eat thing you're right yeah like we did it i did it with my family on sunday last week and uh but they were eating at 5 30 their time which was 4 30 which is two no matter which way you cut it that's too early for dinner no matter which way you cut it that's too early for dinner yeah yeah yeah um but while i was chatting with my brothers they uh everybody was talking about what they'd been watching my brothers had found this streaming site it's free and you can watch all of the content on it for free and one show that they watched is a show called ton of cash have you ever heard of ton of cash no oh it is my favorite uh reality show i've ever seen it is uh it's from vh1 from 2011 okay um it's uh they've assembled uh 15 of america's dumbest people and fail the test

exactly and then they I didn't know what the premise was or anything they were like just go watch it and so I watched it and the first first thing is this announcer kind of explaining the premise of the show he's like these people

all of whom are in major debt so that's the first point of whom are in major debt so that's the first that's the first point they're all in major debt have come to california uh where they're going to move a physical ton of cash from malibu to las vegas uh in doll in like dollar bills or yeah and dollar bills in uh in like plastic wrapped uh packages of you know how much money is a ton of cash uh they they say it's around a million dollars but uh every show is like a different competition of distance uh that they have to move it from like the first one is from the beach to the top of this hill and uh if they've they get penalized if they don't get it all in a certain amount of time

and then they take money off of the ton of cash and and it's in bags it's in it's like in tight wrapped in plastic oh tight it's like uh yeah like vacuum sealed yeah it's sous vide yeah it's sous vide yeah do they have to keep it all together or can you like no you can take it yeah you can move it up in chunks but if you don't at the end of the uh you know challenge if whatever you have on the palette that's it That's what goes forward for the rest of the game. Yeah. And bloop. And so we're only four episodes and they're already down to like $350,000.

Oh, that's some heavy money. Yeah. Like any of it in coins. No, it's all, it's all bills. And bills and i i gotta assume they're fake but maybe the right are people are people getting eliminated as it goes yes so at the end as the money's eliminated everybody uh gets a turn to be the executive uh who kind of calls the shots for the challenge.

And then if they don't win at the challenge, if they do poorly, they end up automatically going into the elimination round, which means everybody in the rest of the group casts a vote for who stays

and who goes. And they cast a vote by putting $10,000 in a box. They have one prop. They use it all the time. And the greatest thing about it is after the challenge, after the day is done, they have to load the money onto the bus themselves

before they go to the next stop. They're doing like what a PA would be doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What is the streaming site it's called tubi t-u-b-i tubi yeah and is the does the show have a fun celebrity host uh he is a quarterback from uh the cincinnati bangles is it Boomer Esiason? Maybe? Yes, maybe.

I don't remember. I just laughed so hard that he introduced himself like, hi, I'm so-and-so, an NFL quarterback, and he just moves on. They don't show a clip of him being a quarterback, but he's saying it like, that's why I'm hosting this show. I'm going to quarterback the show. This is how I got onto the set. Ton of cash. Ton of cash yeah i think they only did one season or at least there's only one season on tubi

but uh yeah they've already fucked it up to the point that they've lost almost seven hundred thousand dollars so i'm rooting for these idiots i am i'm rooting for all the all the dummies that are on the show but also um they every challenge there's like tools around that you can use and uh they never use them right and uh the host what does that mean then the host shows them how they could have done it. They're not like using a shovel to comb their hair. No, but like one, okay, for example, one of the challenges, they had these big empty tractor tires, and they thought, okay, we'll put the money,

stuff the money inside the tire, roll the tire up the hill. But they put the money in like the long way,, the money just kept falling out of the wheel. And at the end, the guy was like, if you put it flat, you could have put all of the money in one wheel and just rolled it up the hill. And that's how you would have won.

Uh, well, um, yeah. And then, uh, they have, uh,

you know, this money deducted, then somebody gets kicked off the show every week the same guy has been in the elimination challenge every time he's a big muscle-bound guy named chuck and he's uh looks like like kind of like a brontosaurus like you know how like a brontosaurus his neck just kind of goes into its head and it's all kind of like a tube that's what yeah it's like oh i love i love a guy like that um yeah and uh i can't recommend it enough it's it's the dumbest reality show i've ever seen but uh it like i couldn't stop laughing at that premise that these people physically have to move

a ton of cash i mean it's yeah it's i wonder if people are and i hate to bring it back to the uh covid 19 yes i wonder if there are like uh producers right now trying to come up with reality shows where people don't have to be close to each other oh of course of course there's well there was already there's a couple shows there's one show at least called the circle um which is on netflix and has to do with like social media or something and none of the contestants meet each other they all correspond through social media sure it's i guess love is blind is kind of like this yeah until they start doing it or not doing it yeah i remember there's a guy in the very first episode that they make a point of pointing out that he's a virgin and then

he doesn't ever appear on the rest of the show but they the producers were like keep that in yeah i make a point of uh letting people know who's a virgin yeah well yeah absolutely everybody in my high school had to wear a giant red v until uh till the big day was it for vendetta it was like our scarlet letter but uh but backwards yeah upside down upside down yeah anyways i can't recommend this enough if if you have time to fill during the days I got a ton of cash on Tubi yeah I mean it's really fun to come up with streaming sites yeah that's true

it's true Graham and I have a new show coming out on Zazzle and make sure you use the hashtag stop podcasting yourself on Zazzle and make sure you use the hashtag StopHotGuestingYourself on Zazzle On Zazzle you do the hashtags with a

it's a tilde instead of a number sign. Yeah, and it's we're excited because we were originally on a platform called Kerplunk and that, you know what? It went under.

It went under. It went kaput. Yeah, it went kaput. That was the headline. Kerplunk has gone kaput. Yeah. Yeah. Do we want to move on to some overheards?

Sometimes it feels like that's all we want to do. Overheard. Overheards. A segment in which you hear things out there in the world or maybe just in your own apartment or your house, wherever you might be. We took a little break, and as I was coming back to the microphone uh you asked something i did you stub your toe on your way out why did you hear me say something i heard you say ow

on my way downstairs well i went to during the break i went to get myself a beer i've developed a severe drinking problem during this self-isolation. Yep. You and my entire apartment building. No, I opened my beer and it spilled on the ground. Ah, damn it. And it went, ah, crap. And I, but then I realized I took off my sock before I put my sock back on. And that's an easy wipe. That's true. That's true. Bounty should make socks. Yeah. before I put my sock back on. And that's an easy wipe.

That's true. That's true. Bounty should make socks. Yeah. Things are bad. Now, we always like to start with the guests, but we don't have one. I don't know if anybody out there noticed,

but we do not have a guest. No, we didn't mention that, but that was our little Easter egg. There's no guest this week. Yeah, and if you're finding out now, surprise. Yeah. But, Dave, would you like to lead the charge? Shall I lead the charge? How would you like to do it? I will lead the charge.

I'll lead the charge. Of course, my overheard is from my own family. Yes. Because where am I going gonna overhear anything yeah this isolation is killing the overheard that's right the overheard uh market is suffering like never before yeah yeah yeah it's a real bear uh but um yeah so my daughter, let's call her Poppy. She's three. And she had a little toy. Forget the context of this, but something had been turned into a bird. And oh, it was like a, she was holding something.

Whatever, it doesn't matter. And she was saying it was a bird. And she said, tweet, tweet, tweet. And I said, oh, how did, how did this get, how did she get turned into a bird and she said tweet tweet tweet and i said oh how did how did this get how did she get turned into a bird and she said uh she ate a special avocado uh from the from the mind that brought you tomato shumka yeah yeah uh special avocado turns you into a bird oh man oh i love it the mind of poppy are we ever am i ever gonna get a an overheard that's not in my house we'll see um yeah i don't know like i've been

lucky just because uh if i go for a walk i inevitably pass another person who's talking to somebody either on the phone or there's two people and you end up actually hearing more because you either stand on the side of the sidewalk till they walk past and you keep walking uh right you know like you just i think you're uh your time just standing you get to hear a lot of potential overheards um and mine was uh somebody was being i think overly sarcastic i think they were planning a kid's birthday party and uh the woman was saying to the man possibly her husband or partner who knows uh but she said well i don't think clowns are considered an essential service so yes yes they are not party clown no and also who's hiring a party clown still they yeah exactly have you not seen the famous horror movies of of yesteryear um the uh

premier of british columbia said that the uh easter bunny is an essential service which is haha that's very fun yes yes very cute anyway get back to back to work yeah yeah you guys had your fun uh i think someone said that the um tooth fairy is uh an essential service which is haha very very fun um but margo has a loose tooth it's her first wiggly tooth congrats thanks it's been wiggling for i forgot how long these things go for but it's been like before isolation so like three or four weeks now it's just so terrifying that that's a part of being a human being yeah in order to get to the next stage of life all your teeth have to fall out yeah that is weird um well she even has the next one is growing in behind the old one oh yeah it's already been out for a while and so it's like there's a couple of layers there just

get rid of these old ones because this new one's coming through yeah uh but in this age where you're supposed to like not touch your face and like wash your hands all the time and keep your fingers away from your mouth try not to wiggle your tooth 23 hours a day uh man i tell you if i had a wiggly tooth that's what i'd be doing right now i'd be pulling on it licking it with my tongue uh all the moves but like i i because i couldn't remember from my own childhood how long is a tooth supposed to be wiggly before it comes out i don't know and i googled it and i said several. And that's not specific enough. I remember probably maybe not my first wiggly tooth, but I had one that was very persistent. And we did the old door slam.

Yeah. And it worked like a charm. It was horrifying, though. Yeah, I remember we did the old American History X, bite the curse. Yes, yes. I mean, nothing the Curse. Yes, yes. I mean, nothing works as efficiently. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The, what, when she loses this tooth, what is the going rate?

$5. $5! I'm going to answer that before you can finish asking it. That's wild. I've heard about other kids getting five dollars i don't know if that's five dollars a tooth or your first tooth is five dollars and the subsequent teeth are cheaper yeah what did you get as a kid i got a dollar maybe yeah i remember it was coins it was coins i definitely got either 50 cents or a dollar and you know what got ripped off it's true i could have sold my teeth

to some pervert for probably eight bucks a tooth that's exactly what i was thinking who wants a uh yeah some local outcast yeah now uh we also have overheard sent in by people around the way if you want to send one into us you can send it into spy at maximum fun dot org and uh this first one this is an over this is one of these kid ones eight-yearyear-old kid. This is Alex in New Jersey. My eight-year-old was going on about all the things kids are good at. Going to school, playing games, brushing their teeth. He finished it up with this gem. Kids rule at everything, like having flexible bones. And kids do rule at that.

Kids are, yeah. Kids get, I mean, I bad mouth kids a lot but their bones are hella flexible yeah i i like to sometimes grab a kid's bone and just really ream on it i did it over my knee i do that if i'm being chased by somebody in central park and i've just taken a limitless bill i like to fling a kid over my head yeah try to break their bones unbreakable yeah yeah limitless and unbreakable they're like the opposite of mr glass yeah that's a that's a mr wiggle mr rubber legs um it's it it is fun that the politicians did the the tooth fairy thing because there was no

there was no such thing as that like i remember being a teenager when they first like the radio stations would do like oh we're picking up on this on the sonar or whatever we're picking up on the doppler radar uh but that that wasn't a thing that i remember as a kid that they did i feel like it i don't know i think you just don't remember it because yeah you weren't listening to the news but i feel like that's something that could be as old as radio right like mark marconi sending the signal over the atl, Hey, Santa Claus is coming. It's Dominic the donkey.

The first message sent over the Atlantic. Hey, it's Dominic the donkey. This next one comes from greg from ohio i was volunteering at a local grocery store chain and helping them fill online orders two teens a boy and a girl were working on another set of orders six feet away from me i caught the the girl saying, well, I usually only sing in foreign languages. The boy responded, oh, you mean like Roman? Oh, I mean, uh, Latin?

The girl had quickly stopped listening to him and exclaimed, oh my god, I lost my belly button ring. Oh! Gosh, when you, oh. Imagine getting your grocery order with someone's belly button ring in it. Ah!

Oh, man. Again, if there's some lucky pervert that gets it, though. Yeah, exactly. Uh, what's this wrapped around my Twizzlers? Only the essentials. Yeah. only the essentials yeah but i feel like it's it's the lonely perverts grocery order he's got a lot of mountain dew a lot of twizzlers have you uh during this uh crisis uh grocery shopping bought anything just because it was what all they had left yeah well i bought some flour i uh and the only flour

that the store had was a 10 kilogram bag of flour that's all that's all in stock so now i have a 10 you have to get it from malibu to las vegas with 14 other idiots a ton of flour but you win it if you get it there that's right yeah flour it's weird that we're a week later than last week that's not weird that was bound to happen but still the the no toilet paper anywhere that I've seen. And like, no Kraft dinner. Yeast. Oh yeah, yeast is going out of hand. People are baking bread. I see a lot of people posting pictures of themselves with freshly baked bread.

Don't see a lot of people eating the bread. I don't see people posting pictures of a sandwich they made. I would like to see the follow-up pictures to the bread. Yeah. I would like to see what the sandwich looks like. What's the interior of that bread all about? Just because it looks good on the outside. Yeah.

Yeah. I want to see, I want to see the, you know, did it bubble? Is it soft? Is it, have you made bread during this?

I have not made bread. Have you made bread ever? No, I have made pizza dough from scratch, is yeah like the you know the bread of italy yeah it's got you just bread what are italy's top breads we got ciabatta ciabatta oh absolutely um uh i was gonna say biscotti but that's not that's a cookie oh yeah that is oh panini panini yeah panini is a type of bread oh boy i want to say uh croissants yeah not french that's french um you know i think like the baguette goes cross culture yeah but there was i was reading one story about people shopping at the grocery store and there was a

woman from france and she said and there was a woman ahead of me that had six baguettes and i was like that is what they would hoard would be baguettes in paris yeah yeah but also in france is six baguettes a lot i don't i don't know you know then i went to the stripy shirt store and somebody was walking with a bag of those of course I needed some bicycle baskets and cigarettes I had to buy a giant thing of flour

and I also have bought stuff that has been close to what I went I had to buy a giant thing of flour and I also have bought, uh, stuff that is been like, uh, close to what I went to get, but it was just one off. Like either, like I have no name,

uh, you know, uh, premium plus crackers, but they're not premium plus they're no name and they taste weird. Yeah. And, uh,

it is weird. Cause you like, you're only supposed to go out grocery shopping as little as possible so you know i'll go like once a week and we'll make our meal plan for that week which we never used to do we would be like oh yeah maybe in a couple days we'll have this and this right and so you come up with like seven recipes and you need every single one of those things. And yeah, yeah. You're going to fail.

You're setting yourself up to fail. And I also, and this asparagus, I got, had a belly button ring around one of them. This last overheard comes from Tim C from Melbourne, Australia. My overheard from before

all this virus stuff. I was at a picnic in a local park and I could hear another picnic group nearby. It seemed like a big family gathering. I heard a boy maybe 11 or so say, Dad! Dad! Dad! Rap Dad! Rap! Freestyle

Dad! Freestyle! The dad seemed to just ignore him but you know if you're if you're told to rap and freestyle by a kid you have to do it that's the law or by your podcast partner now rap i'm inside most the day and i like it that way and i don't nearly notice it's because i'm kind of in my notice and uh uh uh, uh, did you rhyme notice with notice? Yeah. Yeah. I'm like Eminem.

Oh, okay. But I think I did. All right. Okay. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you would like to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh one spy pod one like these people have hi dave graham and probable guest this is robin calling from halifax noah's bush i was in the grocery store the other day and there was like a hipster looking couple perusing the hot sauces and

another hipster dude came up and high-fived and said hi to the guy of the couple and he's like hey man like what are you guys gonna make for dinner and the couple that was looking at the hot sauces said uh well i think we're gonna make buffalo cauliflower and the dude said back to them dude buff collie nice can't go wrong with buff collie thanks oh man of calling you think he did the hang loose symbol when he said that? Yeah, shaka. Cocopelli. Whatever. I should also, your overheard pointed out that this was before the social distancing.

We received this call before the social distancing as well. People are not high-fiving in the aisles these days. No, and they're not even hanging out in the aisles like they used to, you know? No, like you see someone in the aisle, I guess I gotta move on to the next aisle. Yeah. Someone is taking their time choosing the right pesto. Yeah.

Yeah, it's and now people were told not to wear masks to the store before and now they're being told to wear masks to the store so that's going to be a new experience for me tomorrow mask day yeah yeah i wear uh i wear the scream mask oh good yeah i yeah i wear an old richard nixon mask i'm part of a team of people that uh we rob banks and then jump out of a plane how does point break go yeah you rob banks you jump out of a plane laurie petty's there

flea is or anthony ketis one of the red hot chili peppers is that killed oh yeah yeah um probably flea he was he was the most actory of the bunch i know but i feel like this might have been anthony kiedis yeah no he's he's got the goods was he wearing a shirt wow that doesn't narrow it down to which red hot chili pepper was no but i just wonder if like he he can act really well but the only thing he can't do is put on a shirt for the role no he was whoever it was was not wearing a shirt. I feel like it was a shootout in a shower. A shower shootout? Yeah yeah

a shower shootout. Shout out to the shower shootout. Yeah and there may have been some scar tissue that he wish you saw. Pretty good. Here's your next phone call. Hey guys this is Keith in central Pennsylvania calling in with an overheard. I was in a dollar store just now picking up some wrapping paper and birthday cards,

and I walked by the toy aisle and I overheard this conversation between the dad and his about eight-year-old son. The dad saw the toy the kid picked out and said, Is that slime? You know the rule, no slime in the house. That's not coming in our house. And then the kid replied, but dad, it's fart scented. Alright, talk to you later. But dad... Yeah, that's a

kid that has never read like how does you know, the deal or something like that maintenance then in the fart of motorcycle maintenance um the yeah the kid is never read out of you know win friends and influence people or whatever yeah just has never like learned the finer points of negotiation like don't bring up the second worst thing about the thing and then bring up the worst thing at the counterpoint. Yeah.

Is there? I guess I don't want to go into what is a fart scent. I mean, it's different for everybody, man. Yeah, exactly. That's why, how can you standardize it in a toy slime? And I've been against standardization for my whole career. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

You were on the front lines. That's true. Yeah. Taking it in the teeth. Well, here is your final overheard move. Here it comes. Chacho. Hey guys, it's Jonah from New jersey calling in with an overheard i was taking

my three-year-old son to school and as we were walking in the door i said to him time to go to school and he said back to me time to apologize thanks bye time to apologize for what you're making me do here yeah it stinks and you know i i don't know i maybe i did something yesterday at school that and now i have to face up to that's right time for school well time for me to apologize yeah yeah i didn't i didn't never knew this day would come after yesterday's school when i did all that horrible stuff to my teacher did you as a child did you ever have to apologize to your teacher for something you did who uh no um no i was mostly just bad at school which wasn't apology worthy uh i was just but i was well behaved generally right you i feel like this is a

leading question this was a leading question my grade four teacher i uh gave her the finger and uh then i had to go to the principal and then the principal made me apologize it's weird as a kid apologizing to an adult feels weird like you should you should be above this teacher that i gave the middle finger to. Yeah, yeah. Don't take it personally. You know you suck. Yeah.

I'm surprised. Yes, yes, I tried to organize a protest where we all gave you the finger. And I was the only one who went through with it. My friend Cody said he was going to do it. Yeah, yeah. I totally bailed. with it but my friend cody said he was gonna do it yeah totally bailed um the uh as a parent it's um i have to make my kids apologize to each other all the time oh yeah right that's the big uh because like they they wrong each other a hundred times a day right you really just especially now

that we're all home all the time you're really just kind of picking and choosing what's worth apologizing about yes yeah totally and um uh but it's nice to get them in the habit early yeah yeah because uh you know what not only are you raising a polite kid you're raising a polite canadian kid yeah it's true we love we love that word we love it we love to say sorry we love sorry sorry uh but it's also just like it's it's hard to then be you know kind of figure out the balance of yes you said sorry but that's not also like you can't just do bad stuff and then say sorry and like that's it it's not it's not confession oh speaking of the other day i so i was at the grocery store uh or driving by the grocery store and the the uh grocery stores

across the street from a church oh yeah a catholic church and they had a someone dressed all in white sitting at a table outside and i was like do they have some kind of like virus testing happening here? Is it like drive through virus testing? And no, I, I looked it up on their website and they have drive through confession now. And they have like a frosted glass thing that you go, you drive up to roll down your window and confess anonymously.

Wow. But it's also like, uh want to confess oh my god there's some teens washing my car this is entrapment oh no it's i'm i'm here oh they're selling me a christmas tree they're strapping it to the roof of my car. It's just very weird that they have this setup of like, yeah, I, I know the priest knows my face, but I hope he doesn't know my car. I'm here to confess the theft of this car. So how often when the,

cause it's anonymous, right? You go in those booths. I know you're not catholic and you're not uh mr confession that's usher but the uh how often does the the priest recognize the person's voice where they're like you got to assume every single time like he's it's the same people coming in all the time and he's like well that this Daryl. Daryl's the one who lusts after his neighbor's wife or whatever. Yeah.

I mean, good luck to the Catholic Church. Yeah. I also wonder, like, you know, teachers, obviously, when they're in the teachers lounge together bitch about uh common students that they can't stand i imagine that's what if if ever there's a priest convention there's like well one time i had a guy confess you know if they don't say the name it's still you know yeah hidden yeah yeah hey you guys notice like a lot more people lusting after their neighbor's wives these days. I'm not talking about every guy.

Just the, well, we'll call him Mr. D. The D's for Daryl. His name's Daryl Daryl. He's from Newhart. The, is that our show? That's our show. Yeah. I think, uh, this, uh, this is good. I like the, the way this is going over the zoom.

This is, this is good. Yeah. I feel like week one, we were very focused on the virus and now it's as it goes on. Um, I think we'll get back into the groove of just trying to make each other laugh, but I also, um, uh, we'll come over into the groove of just trying to make each other laugh. But I also, well, come over. Let's do it here. Come over? Okay.

Yeah. I'll come over. I mean, boy, I wouldn't say I yearn for your touch, but I do. I am lusting after your wife. Daryl? You're not supposed to know me i'm in a car with a vanity plate that says daryl daryl thought for your wife ht4yrwyf H-T-4-Y-R-W-Y-F. It's one of those long European plates.

Yeah, really good. And so people out there who are listening to this, we hope you're doing well and are safe and secure wherever you are. And if there's anything a couple of podcasters can do for you, send us a line, you know? Yeah, we'll volunteer to assemble grocery packs. Sure, absolutely. But yeah, stay safe out there.

Everybody take care of one another, and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.