Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 632

Episode Date: April 27, 2020

Guestless again, we talk hoodie and bike ownership, more Ton of Cash, and the first edition of the Bradley Cooper Movie Club: A Star Is Born.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 632 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me at a secret underground lair somewhere in Vancouver is my good friend Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, that's true. We are good friends. I'm one of 70 people you check up on every week. That's true.

You are one of, oh boy, I don't know. We didn't even check up on each other this week. So I'm at zero. Hello. How are you? Hello, Gray. I'm welcome to the new normal. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a weird, that's a weird expression the new normal because every thing does everything that happens in your life now is the new normal yeah i feel like i have an idea idea for um a far side cartoon go on it's uh like uh two guys, slaves rowing a boat, rowing a giant ship in old timey times and they're being whipped. Yeah. And one of them says to the other, welcome to the new normal. That's pretty good. I don't know.

It's one of his motifs. Yeah. But it's, yeah, it's like a weird thing. Like if I drink expired milk uh-huh i'm like well welcome to the new normal now we've got diarrhea all day welcome to the new normal um i guess so but like i guess if you only if you have to drink i mean i understand yeah yeah i know the milk thing doesn't work because you're not drinking milk every day, drinking expired milk every day.

I know, but your life following that event, everything that's happened is that's the new normal. Like, you were late for work because you had diarrhea. It's all the new normal. I guess so, but are you continuing to drink expired milk every day in this situation? No, but I drink expired milk every day in this situation? No, but I am having diarrhea every day in this new normal. Oh, yes.

Wait, in this new normal? Sure, why not? I've got all the toilet paper I need. You know, scientists have, you know, they've kind of hypothesized that there are parallel new normals happening, infinite parallel new normals happening at all times. It's, um, uh,

what is that called? There's a, there's like the many earths or something. There's like some, I don't know. Who knows? It's from green lantern. Um,

um, so, uh, Hey, what's up with you? Do we want to get to know us? Yeah, let's get to know us. So how has it been?

It's been a week. Yes, it's been a week. And what a week it's been. What's going on? So I, um, I don't, I've never, well, I'm not never never but as sort of in the last 15 years i've never owned a hoodie oh really you didn't even have one just as a an emergency garment no maybe i had one i've never worn okay okay i think i maybe had one a couple moves ago and it just didn't get moved yeah yeah yeah yeah and then i um yeah and then i uh all this uh lounging

all this uh being stuck at home yeah and uh springtime springtime being the the big thing where it's like one minute it's too hot one minute it's too cold yeah i've got sweatshirts i've got cardigans but i don't i didn't have a hoodie yeah and i bought a hoodie on internet and they delivered it to my house and i'm i now i'm like uh catch myself in in the mirror with my hoodie uh-huh and and i'm making such a big deal of it all the time and abby's like it's just a hoodie yeah and i'm like who's that guy in the mirror what is that breckenmeyer um well like the like i don't know if you recall but a couple years ago i officially retired from hoodies because i felt they were they were a crutch that i was using too much uh-huh uh because it became like a everyday

throw it on over whatever garment and i was like i don't want this to be who am i breckenmeyer yeah exactly uh but have i not seen you in hoodies since that i like the only time i wore one when i was sick last year because it was what you know i needed something that was warm all over yeah i think the last time i had a hoodie i used it as like a the way people use a bathrobe yeah where you're like wear it in the morning yeah what about your peewee herman hoodie um i still have it but i never wear it but it's weird burned in my mind the the uh the weird thing about hoodies is that if you haven't been in one for a while and you just kind of think of it as an abstract notion it's a crazy garment it's a crazy crazy shirt yeah for a while actually i was looking for like what

is because i don't need the hood no no like what is does anyone make like basically uh you know sweat pant jacket like i just just want a coat with a pockets that i can slip on and off yeah yeah yeah yeah but but a hood is like standard it is standard and it's a weird thing and like it's not weird because you see it all the time but if you take one small step back and you think oh there's people wandering around with hoods over their head that's very medieval that's true you know it's uh yeah it's a weird garment i think the one that i had the longest was one that uh at the vancouver marathon uh everybody throws their hoodies on the ground like they're just trash and so i just went and picked one up that was the one I had forever.

People just like, what do you mean? They throw them on the ground like trash. Like they go to the start line and then they just take off the hoodies and throw them on the ground and run away. And so there's just like hundreds of them at the start line. I think they're coming back for them. But it doesn't loop. It's the finish line somewhere else else because that's what i thought i was like oh somebody must come and collect these and put them somewhere and nobody did they were just lying in the street so you took one and yeah i took one there were more used it for a long time but then like there were just more there yeah and i didn't want to be greedy no no

no but like it wasn't a lot a lot of people there wasn't like the way that like people uh insiders know when there's like a big sneaker drop uh a shoe store yeah there weren't like hoodie uh hypebeasts waiting in line not that i saw but uh it's uh i just i felt like uh it was like pennies from heaven hoodies from kevin yes hoodies from kevin yes uh well that's dynamite where did you get this where did you uh procure this uh hoodie from does it say juicy on it or anything juicy on it it's got um oh boy it's i did get matching pants and they say juicy on the boy i guess on my padonkadonk uh and so that's really uh you know you know what you could get is like you know like a sweatsuit with the matching bottoms on the top you could just wear the top that could be like your your lounging coat oh it doesn't have a hood oh sure like oh yeah yeah yeah i don't know if those

are made out of are they made out of sweat pan material Yeah, some of them are. Like, I know they... It's sort of having a sheen to them. Yeah, they might have a sheen. Like a Martin Sheen to them. Yeah, Martin Sheen. I watched a movie with Martin Sheen in it last night. Oh. Do we need to start a Martin Sheen movie club?

It's not a bad idea. Oh, yeah. To fill in the listeners, before we get into the dead zone yeah which is what i call the middle 60 minutes of the show uh we don't have a guest this week we are probably going to get a guest at some point thank you for your suggestions i must have asked for them at some point uh but listen to the tape uh but anyway and this i believe this episode will have the uh the first episode of the bradley cooper movie club yes yeah yeah yeah it's uh i uh forgot about it until this morning and i was like oh my god

i gotta get a rent i gotta find i found it i found it they're not hiding it okay so you're before we get to that you saw a martin sheen movie last night when you should have been watching a bradley cooper movie yes when i should have been watching a bradley cooper movie uh martin sheen is uh very good he was playing a guy who's running for office. And he's good at that role. What era is that? 1980s? I think like late 80s, early 90s. And it's Christopher Walken is the star of it. And he's just Christopher Walken up everywhere. He keeps referring back to an Edgar

Allan Poe poem um and uh but martin short or sorry martin short would be good give me some of that would be good yeah a little of that pure luck action a little bit of clifford running for office have you ever seen the dead zone no never heard of it you're making it up no it's a Stephen King joint oh what's so dead zoning about it Christopher Walken

he goes into a coma for five years and then he wakes up and if he touches but there was nobody else around that could do the voice like him now we have hundreds of people who can do it Jay Moore, Kevin Pollack

but he's able to if he touches somebody he can see their future oh he did a character like that on snl once it was the uh mundane psychic yeah like he's he's that's kind of what i was thinking because everybody's a hand that he touches something very dramatic is going to happen but i was just thinking if he touched somebody's hand and just saw them jerking off later it is that it's that's the exact

sketch oh boy that's good um do we want to get into uh well i got more stuff oh okay i want to i want to hear everything it was a lot it was a So this, uh, not only did I buy a hoodie. So a few weeks ago I was saying that Margo's, the weather's getting good. Margo's getting, uh, uh, it's her second year of riding a bike.

Second spring riding a bike. And she's getting really into it. And I was worried I was going to have to buy myself a bike. Buddy. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding have to buy myself a bike buddy ding ding ding ding ding i bought myself a bike now when was the last time you owned a bike owned a bike well i believe in my 20s i saw that they made folding bicycles oh yeah right and that's right i bought a folding bicycle and i owned it for a short time never unfolded it was so heavy it was like for how convenient it was to fold it it was so heavy to carry it up the stairs folded

to where i lived at the time and i you know i didn't ride it very much and then i eventually gave it away to someone who yeah i think someone else who was like hey this is a great idea it folds yeah yeah yeah i'm into origami and so this is my lifestyle yeah uh and i will say this new bike that i got this non-folding bike too big bikes take up so much space especially compared to margo's and it doesn't even have anyone from paw patrol on it yeah you got a wiggles one instead um what uh type of bike is it is a mountain bike or a street bike it is a um yeah i think it's like what do they call it like an urban city bike a city bike city bike so it's

it's like a it's got a mountain bike it doesn't have the street bike uh you know those like curly handles curly handles yeah yeah yeah it's uh it's got uh and you know slightly thicker wheels but not mountain bike wheels yeah yeah yeah remember like not that long ago when people were riding like and kind of antique looking bikes like the big schwinn like yeah yeah they were they probably weighed twice as much as an average bike and they didn't have gears yeah people were riding those around and there's the people people have like the uh oh this was sort of the same it was kind of from the pimp my ride uh part of our history yeah where people had like the the the ones with the do they call them ape hangers?

Yes. Where your arms are way up high. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, and banana seats as well.

Sure. Yeah. I remember, uh, as a kid really wanting a banana seat, but not knowing the terminology. And, and I was just out of that time.

The one thing I like, I, when i went i looked for the cheapest running bike i could find yeah uh and uh everything's fine i don't need anything fancy the the seat hurts my butt so much that was going to be my follow-up question how's your butt doing because my butt is i mean it's, it's juicy. It's my pants. Will it test? Uh, so I'm riding a bike and it's just helmet.

Well, it's just a, yes, I should get a helmet. Yes, for sure. That's absolutely part of what I should do. Yes.

Yes. Um, I've only taken it on a couple of short rides through the neighborhood and actually the great thing about right now is that there's no cars on the road that's true practically and then uh i got a child seat a child carrier on the back for poppy it's poppy's time to shine it's poppy's time to shine and uh it was her idea at first i was like you can you know maybe ride your tricycle alongside us yeah yeah and get bored and abby will take you home and then uh no it was she wanted the child seat and so now i'm i've become

everything i've hated my whole life cyclist father yeah i know there was uh i was watching from my window i watched a cyclist father with the kid seat where does the kid seat on the back or in the front on the back and it's makes it so hard to maneuver at low speed especially where you're like oh let me just uh uh you know raise the front wheel a bit to get up onto this curb. And we're going backwards. We're tipping over. We're back heavy. Yeah. Do you have a bike lock?

No. Okay. These are, this should have been suggested for your cart. No, no, definitely. are this should have been suggested for your cart no no definitely uh but it's like this couple hundred dollar purchase is getting close to a thousand dollars and that was not my intention at the moment i can keep it indoors so it's so it's okay yeah but it's um i mean it's just like riding a bicycle yeah i remember i remember exactly how to pedal and to not tip over i still don't know how how gears work so it is like that came back to me really quick that i don't know how gears work yeah and if the chain falls off

that you're in big trouble so uh yeah looking forward to that and um it's really like that's the the full-time cyclists time to shine when they see somebody that doesn't know how to put the chain back on because they just do a one maneuver and away you go but uh boy boy can they make you feel small yeah you'll be seeing me on the side of the road watching a YouTube video on how to reattach your chain. Yeah. No, I'm too proud to let you show me, other cyclist. Yeah. The idea of, and this may have come up on the show before

because I've had this thought before, but the idea of something being just like riding a bicycle. Yes. Of being like the, you know, you can forget how to do it. You don't do it for 10 years and then you remember it next time you do it. Yeah. Was there an equivalent of that before bicycles existed? It was, you know, it's just like choking a pterodactyl they would say

yeah because the bicycle dates back to about 65 million years ago um yeah i don't know why riding a bike is the benchmark for something that you remember how to do it's probably because a lot of people quit riding bikes at some point they go this this stinks and uh what i can drive a car and then oh they're off to the races i think i was i remember one time i was uh about nine years old and my cousin i hadn't skied in a couple of years and my cousin said oh how was skiing uh you hadn't done it in a little while and i said oh it's just like riding a bike but with less pedaling and then my other cousin asked me a few minutes later hey how was skiing and i said oh it's just like riding a bike but with less pedaling

and my first cousin was like you used that joke already that was off your old special i remember when i was a kid i loved i loved riding my bike loved it so much and then when i graduated from like bmx level to mountain bike level still loved riding my bike but then my parents said i had to wear a helmet and then i quit riding a bike altogether no that was a that like no one wore a helmet until we were about 12 and then yeah they they did and they were all the dorkiest helmets yeah they made your head look like uh like toad from uh mario brothers yeah yeah which now real mushroom head that's like my favorite look um have you ever uh like this bicycle you purchased i assume you ordered it online

no i went to a uh a bike shop there's many yeah because that smell is a very distinct smell the bike shop smell nothing else smells like a bike shop yeah that's true it's rubbery rubbery oily greasy yeah yeah and uh man like again they can make you feel so small when you go in there and be like i would like one bicycle please okay well here's what it was. Cause I, uh, they were like, uh, I said, I would, I would like a bike. And they said, what for? And I said, oh, I'm joining a gang. I said, riding around, following a five-year-old around.

Yeah. Yeah. And they said, okay, uh, what do you want to spend? And I said, what's's your the lowest i can spend yeah what is your most basic like if i can draw you a basic bike it's like two wheels frame handlebars that's it nothing else yeah uh and how tall are you and i was like six feet but between you and me i wouldn't mind riding a bike for a five foot seven guy like i don't need my tippy toes to be touching the ground when i'm not on it

and putting all that pressure on my butt yeah yeah yeah is the seat plastic or is it like a like a soft material i know i would say it is maybe spikes i'd say it is a lot of jagged glass and plastic and yeah do people like build up a callus on their ass do people and if so i don't think you can ask that um the uh i would say it is uh boy is it it's not soft it's not plastic though it's like a leathery like vinyl cover look it's got like a kind of a vinyl skin on it okay all right and it's not like it's got a hole in the middle for i guess his pleasure yes that's right if you really love your bike yeah it's a very uh it's a bike that definitely would have been a sex toy a long time

ago yeah um so like uh where because you've got the road to yourself more or less are you going are you riding on the does she ride more or less are you going are you riding on the does she ride on the sidewalk are you on the sidewalk now since there's no cars i think it's uh i can do the thing where i like just i shadow her she goes on the sidewalk and i ride on the road next to her right and we go to we like we ride around a park that has no parking allowed next to it right uh so it's you know okay yeah yeah is uh that's the that's the thing is that you're like yeah i guess at some point like a kid's gonna want to ride a bike they're gonna see another kid on a bike and they're gonna want to do that so then that sets off a whole chain of events yeah and you

know we tried we tried to never let her know that the bikes exist yeah anytime someone went by on a bike we were like uh hey here's some drugs here play with some fire yeah is margo into fire at all she she's learned yeah she loves the stuff uh well yesterday we had a barbecue and the my barbecue is really old and the like little starter wouldn't work so i had to use a match and she was very into matches yeah yeah i think yeah that's probably the right age to just be like wanting to have a book of matches wanting to have a knife of some sort these are these are things you just start going like i want that i'm not allowed to

have it five or four therefore i want yeah i really should give her like a lighter because it's i mean they're so cheap yeah they're so cheap exactly compared to a lot of the toys out there a lighter is actually really good value. Yeah. And you know what? You can crack that thing, turn the nozzle way up. You can get a flame pretty high. Yeah, the nozzle play with thing.

Yeah. Boy, that thing where you... Have you ever seen a guy... You're a smoker. You probably did all these tricks. The Zippo on the jeans? Zippo on the jeans. Orippo on the jeans, or like, get the, what are they? You can, you don't hit the like sparky thing, you just hit the gas thing and like put your hand over it and fill your hand with gas.

Yeah. And then you can light your hand on fire for a second. Yeah, the best. second yeah the best like i was watching a movie the other day where somebody was like fully on fire so it was a stuntman and one of the outfits that you could wear was this dead zone it wasn't the dead zone it was something else but i was like can i as a private citizen do that can i dress up in the in the costume and have professionals light me on fire and then put me out because i would love to do that yeah like how i want uh to be chased by your dogs and like have a dog bite suit yeah yeah yeah i would settle for a women's self-defense class protection suit why not both yeah uh women and dogs defense league i like it

i can see the uh coat of arms right now so uh yeah like because i i had i had a bike uh until like two moves ago but i was i realized i was just moving it from house to house i was never using it and so i just abandoned it because i i was like i'll never i'm never gonna be a cyclist so why graham no why not um you don't want to get hit by a car door i don't want to be doored i don't want to be i don't want my chain to fall off and have that humiliating thing i don't want the grease getting on my yeah yeah you don't want to be you know you don't want to like roll up your jeans and put one of those for reflect oh thanks i don't want to wear a reflector thing don't want to wear a helmet

no yeah that's true i have a helmet. I could wear my hockey helmet. Yeah, why not? I'll tell you why not. I can't put glasses on with it. Oh, right. Yeah, but like, yeah, bike rides. That was like a big, like a big part of my childhood. Yeah, yeah, me too.

On a bike. Yeah. And I maybe only went two blocks, but. Yeah, I had a friend who lived next to a developing community so it was all just mounds of dirt and uh we would go ride our bikes on that it was the best yeah that does sound like the best yeah it was pretty good given how much construction's around town you'd think there'd be more fun you'd see more kids in like dirt pits it's crazy that i never see just a group of kids kind of walking somewhere i don't i never never see that i never see a group of kids like on bikes

or just as a group walking i see one kid i'll see a lone kid but i don't ever see a group of kids do they not walk anymore does Does everybody just take Uber? Yeah. Kids are big Uber heads. Uh, they, uh, they love lighters and no,

that's all. Yeah. You've heard that. That's like, uh, a generational divide. All these kids are coddled and never allowed out of the house. Yeah.

We're never allowed to like explore which is probably good because we shouldn't have been in that construction site in high tide that's true there was probably rebars just flying around and we probably picked it up and pretended they were lightsabers hard to say yeah you could have impaled each other yes absolutely where else Yes, absolutely. Where else are you going to learn that? In fencing school? The other thing that went down this week was we had Easter. He is risen. Yes, he is risen indeed. A lot of jokes in the Christian community about,

hey, maybe Jesus stayed in the old tomb for, he was quarantined in that tomb tomb it's just a uh just like a christian online he's selling these jokes like i've got great quarantine jokes for your sermons yeah do you need any memes for your sermon he's the memeing priest i like um but uh normally we do a family dinner yeah with all my siblings and my parents at their house and and all all the grandkids and everything uh and we were just assuming that was not going to happen uh because that's crazy yeah uh but we were like yeah we'll just have like whatever with the same dinner we have every night yeah white bread and butter and stare at the wall

shake and bake yeah piece of white bread and shake and bake using it like fun dip Shake and bake. Yeah. Piece of white bread and shake and bake. Using it like fun dip. Pass the shake and bake, please. Licking your white bread, dipping it in the shake and bake and sucking it off. Compliments to the chef but my dad called me the day before and said hey uh your mom and i are gonna make a turkey do you want some turkey uh and we'll set up like pickup times and we will you roast the turkey carve it and give you stuffing and turkey and gravy to go.

That sounds pretty good. It was the greatest. Yeah. I ate mine so fast. I took it home, and I was like, compared to your average family meal where you get together and you have to wait for everyone to get served, it was just like, put it on my plate, put it in my belly. Yeah.

Don't have to have any conversations about what are you up to these days? The family kind of talk. You just can sit there and gorge on turkey. Yeah, yeah. Dave, why don't you get Trevor Noah on your podcast? Well, I could think of a thousand reasons. Well, that's pretty good that's that's a that's a did you do you do like these zoom things with your family we did last week uh the week before we talked about it last week on the podcast i don't want to bore the people oh yeah but like yeah you had any fresh ones i did one on sunday but it's again like if one one zoom square has a kid somewhere in it

you just hear that kid like taking stuff out of a box or whatever that's all you can hear yeah yeah yeah and then i was on one earlier this evening because it was uh friend's birthday so i was in a and that felt just like people sitting around talking more than with the family stuff in a good way yeah like because everybody there was only one person per square so then you could you could hear who was talking and you could understand like there was no two people trying to talk over each other in one square which just sounds bananas yeah do you ever find that uh whoopi goldberg's always in the center square yes and especially now that the view does the zoom calls online you know do they oh god of course they do yeah they've been doing the view did you see the saturday night live for this

weekend i watched the monologue at the beginning and i was like this is uh people who do this on youtube professionally we do not need we do not need tom hanks putting on a silly hat and playing two characters in his living room as charming as he is and you know it's like a thing to do I guess because it's in the zeitgeist

but how did it progress? I only saw the first sketch and the monologue and then i was like i gotta go i uh did not watch it oh i watched a bit of weekend update and did not like it yeah they were piping in the other people's laughs and that was uh weird Yeah, no, it's not necessary. I don't need Colin Jost to make fun of people's accents. You know what?

Jost, you've entertained us so much through the years. Yeah. Take a break. Jost, you're going to be around for the rest of our lives, I bet. Yeah. We're just going to have to deal with you forever. But, like, the other night I watched a bit of The Tonight Show online, and I was like, this is not, there's already people doing this.

Like, we don't need, if I want to see somebody interviewing somebody over a thing there's like podcasts and stuff i can watch yeah yeah yeah it's like it's fun to have a band like see a show where there's a live band and a crowd and stuff and yeah i think i i like the production value yeah i think that they should have uh you know, you could CG an audience. You could pipe in fake laughter and just like, we would never know the difference. Have you seen, I think it's in Taiwan, they started their baseball season, but they have empty crowds. Right. Empty stadia. And they have just like cardboard cutouts of people in the audience yes and mannequins and stuff yeah

that rules that rules that's all like they should have been doing that from the beginning yeah yeah like that's the that's the weird thing that people when they kind of stopped doing live sports there was kind of a like a school of thought that we'll just have them play without an audience. And I was like, that'd be fine. Seeing people enjoy the sport more than I'm enjoying it on watching television is not enjoyable. Yeah. So I,

they're like the, and they've been talking about this for weeks of like, okay, what if we just got all the players, but they couldn't go back to their houses and they couldn't like travel. What if we got all the players in the league to like be on a compound and for two weeks, some of them might get sick.

And then we started the league and, uh, it's just like these players can't go home and they're like, it's just like they live in this future ball compound. And, uh, Just like they live in this future ball compound. It is exactly like a plot line out of Better Call Saul. But like you watch sports.

Do you care if there's a crowd? You know what? At this point, I would watch anything. I do care that there's a crowd. Yeah. But, you know, I also realize that we live in strange times, man. Yeah. I think fencing could probably be done now because you've got all that protective equipment and a face mask.

So what if fencing made a huge surge as being the only sport you could watch? Well, it's funny. They, um, like they're opening the golf courses in town. Oh yeah. Because they, that's a sport where you don't have to be next to anyone and you don't, you have your ball and they have their ball and you don't use the same equipment. Right.

Um, so I don't know why they have to cancel all the professional golf i mean i i will never watch it i that's what that's the one sport that if it is on i will watch it that's that's my uh that's my concession to being an older man that's your desert island sport yeah exactly i will watch pga tour no problems um yeah so what's going on with you well um last week i told you about a show that i was watching a reality show called ton of cash oh yes chunk of shit chunk of shit that's right um so

uh Ton of Cash if you didn't listen to last week's episode is a reality show where a group of people who are deep in debt

are given the chance to physically move a ton of cash from from Los Angeles to Las Vegas yes yes yes okay um so by the third episode like if you don't finish the challenges in a certain amount of time money gets deducted

and so by the third episode they were already down to 700 000 uh and then midway through the series, they were down to 400,000. Uh, and I finished it. I finished the whole season and, uh, the final prize was just over $200,000, which nothing to sneeze at. But, uh, when you know that there was 800 more and how many left on the course, how many people started out the season? Uh, I think there was like probably 15. And how many left on the course how many people started it out this season uh i think there was like probably 15 and how many ended it uh there were three in the final competition that took

place and one person got 200 000 one person got 200 000 yeah okay and she's not bad yeah it's not bad she went on to be a playboy playmate. So, Oh, hubba hubba. So everything worked out. Brains and Braun. Wait, Braun is the carrying the money and brains is the playboy. Yeah. The playboy. Yeah.

Okay. Um, anyways, uh, if anybody's looking for a show that is the dumbest show uh ton of cash it is have you heard of this netflix show that's i think starting in a couple days uh at the time of this recording it's if you liked uh love is blind oh you're gonna love too hot to handle too hot is it hot hot or not hot hot do you know what this thing is too hot to handle too hot to is it hot hot or not hot hot do you know what this

thing is too hot to handle yeah do you know do you know it no i don't know it okay well they get i i watched the trailer for this and it's uh they were like we got the hottest people which every reality show dating show seems to yes uh who were like serial swipers on tinder and they're like the horniest hottest people this sounds great we brought them all to an island and they're playing for some amount of money and the only rule is no kissing and no sex what that rule sucks they have to just be horny around each other for like i guess they lose money if they there's money deducted a la chunk of shit yeah but that's money well spent if you get to like pay in horny dollars that's uh horny bucks um the uh i've watched the very end of uh the bachelor and they have a season this season that is the bachelor where every contestant is a musician. So they not only get together, but they record a song together.

Oh, I love it. So that's, that's one to keep an eye out for. Have you seen any of it? I saw the last 15 minutes of an episode and I was so entranced because I was like, why are all these boys have such complicated

hair they all had like crazy hairstyles and we're wearing like scarves and rings and like beethoven i was like this is not the usual this is not your usual bachelor flair you know what i mean like it's uh it's and then it was oh they're all musicians and i was like yes yes this is good and did you hear any of the songs no that's that's uh later in the season but i probably will be tuning into this show yeah that sounds really hot and horny the uh the other thing i've noticed and i don't know if you've noticed this when you've been just walking around outside during exercise time. But because there's more gloves being used everywhere, I find that there's a lot of plastic gloves just blowing down the street. Oh, yeah, that's gross's gross tumbleweeds but it's also like a hand moving down the street with the with the wind is very scary but also beautiful in its own way isn't it

yeah there's so much beauty in the world isn't there so much of it um yeah i guess it's boy it's like i mean you see a condom rolling down the street yeah like i you've i've seen condoms on the street yeah for years and years since they were invented in the 90s to fight aids that's right. Salt-N-Pepa invented them. Yeah. And I've always been like, oh, I better not step too close to that. I don't want to catch anything. Yeah. But the, yeah, the gloves, it's the same thing. Or have to tell

people that you slipped on a condom. I'm sorry. I broke my wrist. I slipped on a condom. Why? You broke your wrist slipping on a condom? No, not slipped on a condom. Why? You broke your wrist slipping on a condom? No, not slipping on a condom. I slipped on a condom. Yes.

Oh, that would explain the trail of jizz down your back. And you will know us by the trail of jizz. But the gloves are the same thing you could catch something from those oh yeah man it's very irresponsible i uh but it just freaked me out because i was walking and it just like i couldn't tell what it was and then by the time it got close it looked like a ghost hand just blowing down the street and i was like i'm gonna see a lot more of this aren't i i'm gonna see masks lying around yeah let's see uh have you worn a mask yet yeah i did this week at the grocery store i wore a wore a mask and uh disposable a disposable yeah disposable yeah and uh it's uh like i don't I don't know how nurses and doctors wear them for five minutes.

I have no idea. The most uncomfortable thing in the world. You're breathing. You're breathing in your own breath constantly. They, they ride up all on your face. Uh, the hoops on the ears are uncomfortable.

It's, oh boy. Try it. And if you were, if you you wear glasses they fog up your glasses oh yeah of course yeah so i don't know like you know what's the typical nurse or doctor shift 12 hours no i think it's like 36 hours but like uh yeah i don't know like wearing it in the grocery store was so crazy and i was like there's people who wear these for an entire work shift they just wear these the whole time i think you'll get used to it when it becomes hey the new normal that's right

the new normal speaking of which uh in this era of change, you and I, we decided to start a Bradley Cooper movie club. Yeah, why did we do that? Because I was talking about Limitless. Yeah. And then we just kind of went off on a Bradley Cooper tangent. Yeah, he's just so, he's the best we've got. He is, he is. He's the best we've got he is he is he's the best if there was a rocket that we could collect all of

our best to send to planet earth 2 he would be on that first flight yeah yeah um and the oh do we want to play the theme for bradley cooper music club oh yes yes bradley cooper movie club movie club movie club bradley cooper movie club. Well, sure. Okay. Why not? That's perfect. So you watched A Star is Born? Last night I watched, we chose A Star is Born as our first movie in the Bradley Cooper movie club. And last night I watched it while I baked a pie. Ooh, what kind? Apple blackberry.

Delicious. Delicious pie. Yeah. What kind? Apple blackberry. Delicious. Delicious pie. Yeah. It's pretty good. So I watched it. You watched it this morning. I did. Yeah.

Although I did remind you about it earlier this week, I think. You did, but I still managed to forget. And then remember. I guess you were watching Dead Zone all week. Are you watching that horror channel you have? No, I'm watching Hollywood Suite. Oh, okay. My horror movie thing canceled after a week.

Ah, spooky. Spooky. Was it called Shudder? It was called Shudder, yeah. So, what did you think of A Star is Born? What did I think of A Star is Born? What did I think of A Star is Born? What did I think of A Star is Born? What did you think of it?

I didn't realize that he directed it until the closing credits. Oh, he directed it? Yes. I didn't realize that either. Yeah. I also didn't realize while I was looking through his filmography, he produced Joker. Yes, this is good. This is good because he knew that guy, the director from the Hangover films.

Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. Do we like Bradley Cooper? I think he was the perfect guy to play the bad guy in Wedding Crashers. Yeah, me too i think he's like and then i don't know i don't know how it happened but he went from being just that kind of character to being the most actor reactor who's ever come down the red carpet

i really liked him in wet hot american summer where he was the like drama class guy yeah and he's like he's funny he's funny in uh in humorous roles but like he also just they were they kind of decided he was going to be but he's also he's also that raccoon in uh guardians of the galaxy which is crazy so he's got rain seen those movies is he are those good is he good in those he you would have no idea that it was him he does such a crazy voice in it that it's uh that when i saw that it was bradley cooper i was like huh they hired somebody who was expensive as bradley cooper to not sound anything like bradley cooper could have done this cheaper yeah i think they need to start cutting costs in those marvel movies um so in yeah in a star is born it's him as lady gaga and he's a drunk yes and then he he goes to this like drag show that she's at

and he discovers her right he's going to get drunk at the drag show he's going yes for the purposes of getting drunk yeah he goes bar she's singing and he falls in love with her and he's like she's like oh I can never be famous I've got a big nose and he's like I love your nose

I want to touch it can I please touch your nose and he picks it yeah he does it's weird touch it. Can I please touch your nose? Uh, he picks it. Yeah, he does. It's weird. It's a weird departure from the rest of the tone of the movie.

Yakety sax starts playing. He starts picking her nose. Um, he says, I'm Mr. Booger. The, the,

uh, I found all the beginning stuff. Very like, I found it very believable that he would be this drunk guy in a bar and pick up this woman and uh then they go to another bar and then she punches a guy for some reason i don't know she gets in a guy wants to take a picture with jackson main that's brad Bradley Cooper's character. Jackson Maine. And then they have to go buy some

kind of groceries to put on her hand. That's right. They tape gauze, a bunch of peas to her hand. And then they go sit in the parking lot and she makes up a song that's the most famous song from the movie. Yeah. She makes up a song that's the most famous song from the movie yeah she makes

up a song she sings it and and then i was like in that moment i was like oh this is why i could never be a musician person because they i wouldn't be able to sincerely do what she was doing in that where it's like oh yeah i'll sing you a song let me just sing that's why you weren't invited on that season of the bachelor that's true and also because i uh i crashed the the first episode and i drank all the booze um but that's that's to be expected on the bachelor and you failed that std test they said they never seen such a failure um also his voice is like his speaking voice the entire movie is crazy it's like it's so bane

yeah he's he's country bane. And he, yeah, I kept pausing and rewinding to figure out what he was saying. And then I was like, I don't care. It's fine. He's saying some predictable thing. Yeah. And then like, don't let the industry chew you up and spit you out,

man. Yeah. And he has a brother in the film played by uh sam elliott yeah i didn't get that they were brothers the mumbles and also because of their 30 year age gap 50 That would make Sam Elliott 95. So, like, Bradley Cooper is, I think he's still too fresh-faced to be that crusty of a guy. Like, he's supposed to be Mr. No, I bought it. Did you?

You thought he was the right age? I think he's been crusty a while. He was the right age? I think he's been crusty a while. So here's the thing that stood out for me, and I don't know if you noticed it, was when she first goes on stage, he's doing a huge concert, and he welcomes her out on stage to sing the song,

and the crowd cheers for her? That would not happen. The crowd is never excited to see the person they paid to see take a song off. Yeah. Or even play a new song. So she's doing both. She's playing a new song. And she's somebody that nobody knows who she is.

And people are going nuts for it. I don't. Don't believe it. Someone posts a video of them doing this song live which by the way she sang for him in a parking lot uh while he was super drunk and he said it was really good he has since like told his band here's how you play it i've written my own verse for it and now she'll be here to sing it she knows where she comes in

but like you you kind of accept that that like i guess he's a musical genius that he can like absorb that song when he's super drunk yeah and he stays super drunk for most of the film and uh and she's fine with it she loves it actually she thinks he's better when he's drunk and so everything's fine but they uh so that they do it live yeah and someone records it it goes on youtube her dad played by andrew dice play yeah shows everyone how youtube works like this this is the number that number that says views that's how many people have viewed it yes yes it's kind of like that robert de niro comedian movie where it was like hey you've gone viral oh man there's so many so many movies now that that's the, the, it used to be, it was all a dream.

Now it's, you've gone viral. That's the new, like, I don't know how to get out of this trap. I don't know, make the character go viral. That'll somehow wrap this shit up. And then I didn't realize it was going to have full songs. Oh, like I thought it was going to be like, uh, you know, like, you know, you hear a verse and a chorus and we're out. Yeah. No, full song.

I thought it was going to be a lot more like the Saved by the Bell episode where the Zack attack has a dream sequence. That's the stars born for our generation. Yeah. But speaking of that Saved by the Bell, it had a character that reminded me of of uh something from that episode which was the british producer guy yes who gets a hold of lady gaga yeah and turns her into a pop princess pop princess and like all of a sudden she has a song about jeans the weird guy in a jeans and i was like and then i was very i was very on bradley cooper's character side where i was like yeah that was a bad song was very on bradley cooper's character side where i

was like yeah that was a bad song and she should not be proud of that song and she should not have played it on the season finale of saturday night live as soon as they said that i was like alec baldwin better be in this movie or bust and he was he was i wish they had done like a behind the scenes sketch where it's like lauren is talking to ally lady gaga's character and there's like a showgirl and a pony in the background and keenan walks by that would have been that would have been great um but yeah she becomes a pop icon diva diva and uh bradley cooper uh what is his name again zane taylor justice jackson yep zappy doo doo he colt wyatt uh he keeps getting drunk all the time he loves it he loves it then he starts snorting pills yeah he starts that's right there's a new wrinkle he starts snorting pills and then he does both at the grammys

and uh then he wets himself on stage and i thought it was i watched it i rewound it several times i watched it because i was like huh i wonder how they like did he control something or is there a stunt man, like, pressing, like, okay, begin peeing now. Like, how did they do it? Well, they say in Lawrence of Arabia, the amazing thing is that they shot it in the desert. And, you know, like, if they were using take four, then where were the footprints from take one, two, and three? Right. Like, where was the footprints from take one two and three right they like where was the p yeah exactly did they have different pants that he had to change into yeah the several post p pants um also when they're at the grammys he is performing like a rockin version of pretty

woman by roy orbison that right. Cause they're doing a salute to Roy Orbison, a man who died a long time ago. He died back when Sam Elliott was Bradley Cooper's age. The fact that he's like... When Sam Elliott was young enough to be Bradley

Cooper's brother. When Sam Elliott said like, I'm tired of... Somehow they introduced the fact that they were brothers. And I was like, no, that can't be, they fucked up in the script or something. Like, that wasn't the line he was supposed to say. He was supposed to say, dad or uncle. Yeah. You're like a brother to me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, what was the song that got nominated for an Oscar? Was it the jeans? I love those jeans. No, it was the in the shallow. Right. Shallow. Yeah.

Shallow, la, la, la, la. Yeah. But it really did make me realize how stupid the lyrics of Pretty Woman are. What is it? What is it? Walking down the street, Pretty Woman, the kind I like to meet. Yeah. Pretty Woman.

You won't believe, I won't believe you. You're not the truth. No one could look as good as you. Is that the? No one could look as good as you. Right. And. Rawr.

Yeah. as good as you right and yeah roy arbison is uh like did you grow up listening to the traveling wilburys and and such i mean the one song um because that's all i really knew him as i knew him as that and pretty woman i don't and he had a couple didn't he do a song with like was katie lang involved with Roy Orbison? Were they dating? Were they an item? Yeah, they were an item. Yeah. They were pre, before TMZ was around, they were, they were an item. But he, when did he die? He died a long time ago. He died in like the 80s.

Yeah, like late 80s. like right late 80s yeah yeah so why 52 i mean maybe it was the 25th anniversary of his death or something and that's why they're doing a salute to him in this fake grammys that never happened it was just their salute to beauty and women the gramm salute, the female form. Yeah, so. And I knew the ending of the movie, but it was still a bummer. Yeah.

I'm going on the record. I don't like suicide i'd rather people go viral if we're gonna end a movie um because i've seen the other one of the other stars born films the the which one the barbara strice and chris christopherson joint and uh they uh he dies in a car accident uh not as a not as a suicide so by the way uh we're gonna spoil it uh if you didn't like this being spoiled go don't go back 15 seconds yeah don't relive where we spoiled it for you but you knew that he was who got it like the clock was running out on the storyline and it was like what is he gonna be it's just gonna

be fine and that's the end of the movie uh-huh yeah and the clock was it's that's the thing about watching movies at home where you know in vhs times you never had to deal with this you never knew how much time was left in the movie that's right like you could never pause it and be like oh you know they're gonna wrap it up soon yeah there's only one way out for him exactly uh but uh yeah he didn't realize that he like directed it he produced it i think he co-wrote it yeah he definitely co-wrote it did a little craft service you can do it all that's why we have the bradley cooper movie club what would you think would be a good follow-up movie in the bradley cooper movie club did you like that movie um i thought it was okay i thought i liked it was

i thought she was really good i thought she was really good i thought she was good too yeah she was but it's also maybe the kind of thing where like eight mile or the bodyguard where it's just one and done yeah like i think she was good i think she also acted in like american horror story or something like that oh yeah but yeah she's good she also acted in the music video for telephone with beyonce that's right but i she also her singing is good so it's a believable thing like oh this person would be a star because they're singing i know i do feel bad about my college in college i had this facebook group about her and how we went to college together and i was all just like you'll never be famous stephanie whatever your name is

so annoying but uh i feel bad i feel bad about it uh i liked it i liked the songs yeah um particularly the jeans one yeah the jeans one was good uh and i liked her i his guitar playing seemed uh his fingers were too stiff yeah him to have been playing that guitar yeah it was close and and i thought he was he was doing a voice that was on the spectrum of voices somewhere near oscar the grouch and i couldn't not hear that i it was the kind of thing where i i don't know if this is a thing that like method actors do where they have to keep the voice going all the time or if he can just like ease in and out of the voice and just go back to his normal voice sometimes and then when it's time to act he would always have to be like can someone play me a clip of me doing the voice so i can get

it again or you're my brother my brother get over your brother they originally he originally wanted hulk hogan to play his brother yeah so what do you think would be a good follow-up to this um i did you look through his filmography i did not i mean i know he was in wedding crashers i know he was in hangover i knew he was in american sniper he's in that sniper one that one. That's another Clint Eastwood. Oh, yeah. Because he was in The Mule is where I saw him. Bradley Cooper was in The Mule.

Yeah. Yeah, okay. Right. He's in... So, he made four movies with Jennifer Lawrence in four years when I was looking through his filmography. Right. Better Linings, Silver Linings playbook yep they made one called joy about a woman who invented a mop let's watch that one that's the one we are gonna watch yeah let's watch the one about the mop i might be wrong about that but sure yeah it's this is that to me feels like

right up my alley it's something i'm interested in anyways yeah all right all right uh see you next week um if we have a guest we have to get them to watch joy right yeah yeah it's only fair we'll talk off air okay um do we have to get them to watch Joy right? Yeah. Yeah it's only fair. We'll talk off air. Okay. Do we want to move on to Overheard? Yes indeed.

Video games. Video games. Video games. You like them? Maybe you wish you had more time for them? Maybe you want to know the best ones to play?

Maybe you want to know what happens to Mario when he dies? In that case you should check out Triple Click. It's a brand new podcast about video games. A podcast about video games?

But I don't have time for that. Sure you do. Once a week, Kickback as three video game experts give you everything from critical takes on the hottest new releases to scoops, interviews, and explanations about how video games work to fascinating and sometimes weird stories about the games we love. TripleClick is hosted by me, Kirk Hamilton. Me, Jason Schreier.

And me, Maddie Myers. You can find TripleClick wherever you get your podcasts and listen at MaximumFun.org. Bye. Hey, podcast fan. We have a quick favor to ask. We'd like to get a better idea of who you are and what you care about so if you have a couple moments to spare go to maximumfund.org slash ad survey there we've got a short anonymous survey that won't take any more than 10 minutes to fill out plus if you finish it you'll get a 10%

discount on our merch at the max fund store max fund shows have always relied on support from our members and always will the survey will help keep the few ads we do run relevant and interesting for you. Again, that's MaximumFun.org slash ad survey, all one word. And thanks for your help. Overheard. Overheard, the segment which if you're out there in the world, or maybe not so much these days, you know, cooped up in your place, maybe you hear something funny, or maybe you remember hearing something funny,

and you can send those in to us here at Stop Podcasting Yourself, and we usually start with the guest, but there's no guest. So, Dave, would you lead the charge? Well, I've been cooped up. Yeah. Bradley cooped up. Yes. But I did go buy a bicycle.

Yes, yes, yes. And when I went, I went to a store that had, like, they have very strict rules about how they can sell bicycles. very strict rules about how they can sell bicycles so they had a lineup of you know you have to line up outside and they're only allowing one customer at a time right and the uh so there was a line of about three of us and the guy running the shop comes out and says, uh, who's next. Okay. Uh, what are you looking for? And the guy says, uh, you know, a bike was something to,

I don't know what he said. He said something about what kind of bike he was looking for. Right. And he comes in and then the line moves forward. And then the, uh, the manager comes out again. And the next guy in line is kind of a rough looking guy he's got like

a pit bull he's got a bike he's uh just standing there and uh the guy says well and what are you looking for today and he says i want to buy some shoes and and the guy says oh we're not selling shoes we're only we're only selling bikes and the was like, you're full of shit. You're selling shoes. You're selling bikes. Why aren't you selling shoes? And the manager said, well, bike shops have been deemed an essential service. And the guy went, you're full of shit.

And you're ugly, too. Oh, jeez. Man. And he walked away and then walked back because we had to go through the back door he said and then he was gonna walk by the front door and he said i'm gonna spit on your window whoa not in this climate my friend i know yeah geez louise and the guy was like yes i just to get the guy to go go away he was like yes i, I'm full of shit. Yes. I don't want your money. Yes, I eat diapers for breakfast.

Yes, thank you, may I have another? My overheard also has an aggressive bent to it. I was out for a walk yesterday, and there were two guys, one on each side of a car, and the one guy was giving his friend Adam a phone number to dial, and I only know that it's Adam because the guy was like, he gave the phone number, it's like 419-7253, and the guy's like, do i gotta dial 604 before that his friend said use your head adam what was the last fucking time you dialed only seven numbers he really roasted adam i mean in his defense adam sounds like a real piece of shit.

Yeah. Yeah, he really does. Do I have to dial 604 before I let a brother? Of course you do, Adam. Yeah. Do I have to dial 9 to get an outside line? Yeah. And what if it goes,

That's a fax. That means someone's faxing you. That's right um now we also have overheards sent in from people around the globe if you want to send one out of you bitch you can send it into spy at maximum fun.org and this first one comes from dan from ottawa i have an overheard from when i was going through training at my company back in November. We all work from home. And during the training, the class will all be in a virtual meeting together.

This guy was he was learning for this very event. This was I didn't know you could be trained at home. That's the greatest. That is the greatest. Like you think normally they'd be like, well, you'll come in for training and then we'll you can work from home. know you could be trained at home that's the greatest that is the greatest like you'd think normally they'd be like well you'll come in for training and then we'll you can work from home uh we'd been on a break possibly a half hour lunch i'm not sure and we and we came back into the meeting room the instructor in a very perky voice goes all right is everybody ready to get

back to training there was a beat of silence followed by very loud snoring one of our fellow trainees had fallen asleep there at his desk and their mic was still live so this is the type of thing you're gonna people are gonna go to the toilet people are gonna a kid's gonna burst through the back door walk over to where you're doing a news update and uh that's the times we live in you know yeah there was a city council meeting yesterday uh a vancouver city council meeting in which a toilet was flushed like on a on a zoom or whatever oh man and that's been my trademark ever since the uh conference call days when it was just audio was to flush it always make sure a toilet would get flushed on my end it's a timeless gag and timely

um this next one comes from uh somebody named sharn that's how they said to pronounce it sharn uh like a girl version of sean so sharn um i don't i don't agree with that well that's what the person wrote i didn't say yeah i disagree with that okay i'm okay with the name i just don't think it's a girl version of sean yeah that's right sean is a girl yeah yeah uh before this whole corona lockdown thing i was in line at a cafe on campus when the guy in front ordered a coffee and vanilla Danish. The Spanish cashier sighed deeply and then dramatically said, I'm tired of all this vanilla. It's so boring. Take this chocolate mint.

It's exotic, but you're still going to have fun. Yeah. And the guy was too shy to say no. so he just paid for a completely different order and left that he didn't want wow yeah yeah it's just that easy to talk somebody out of what they had yeah have some fun have a chocolate mint live your life it's after eight eight um yeah i'm not really i'm not a big danish guy no too goopy too goopy in the middle they're very goopy and they're a thing that i most associate with uh like a church uh after church uh coffee social that's what i think uh the hot dan spot. But I never will go out of my way for a Danish. If one's just sitting there, I will eat it, though.

You know what I think is a hot Danish spot? Go on. Elsinore. Pretty good. Did I pronounce that right? Well, it's pronounced charn. This last one comes from Isabel from Montreal. My partner and I were eating lunch on a patio,

and a young woman walked past talking on her phone. All I managed to catch was her saying, What? No. No, you're not King Solomon. So somebody was accusing. Cutting something in half? Yeah. Is that what he did? That's what he did, right? Cut cutting something in half yeah is that what he did that's what he

did right cut the kid in half yeah and both parties were satisfied with the outcome yeah cool uh on easter my parents uh also gave the kids uh this like pack of kinder surprise things yeah uh four eggs a bunch of little eggs and one bunny right but the kids were like i want that bunny no i want that bunny well i want the half with the head i want the half with the head right so i cut it like down the face so you're king solomon bunny's face yes i am yes you and you know what they were totally satisfied yeah totally yeah if it had been in the time of twix then it would have been fine in addition to overhears that are written in we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh.

But one like these people have. Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Samantha calling from California, and I have an overheard from a few weeks ago in my biology class. The professor was giving us a break, and he told us all just to be sure that we were back in our seat by 25 to 9, and everybody started getting out the mess when I heard the lady behind me say, why does he have to say it like that?

Why can't he just say 875? Thanks, love the show. Yeah, like a normal human. I'm not a robot. 875 is a thing that humans say. Yes. In metric time. Because, you know, the hour is 75% up.

So, 875. Yeah. It makes sense. I mean, it it is like what do they say 900 hours or whatever yeah yeah yeah nine o'clock hours yeah um 900 hours what is that two two o'clock always adding nine hours nine o'clock oh nine hundred hours uh what's 1900 hours seven o'clock yeah okay seven o'clock i got you okay, 7 o'clock. I gotcha. Yeah, I gotcha. I gotcha. I gotcha.

Here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham and cool, cool guests. This is Tim from Indiana calling in with an overseen. I was driving home from work the other day and got behind a car that said, yes, you can drink rosé and still be a badass. Well, off I go. This is a statement that I believe in.

I believe you can be, I think if Chris Rock, not Chris Rock, Kid Rock. Take that again. Kid Rock? Mm-hmm. If Kid Rock can drink rosé all day and still maintain badass status. Is Kid Rock a rosé head kid rock a rose head you gotta assume you gotta assume if it's around he'll drink it yeah if it's if it's american if it's badass he

loves it he loves it he loves those two things more than anything remember when he uh people thought or he said he might run for office if you were like uh we'll hate you yeah we don't want you to but we're not in any position to stop you so yeah you'll win but you will win and we won't love it but we will love to see all the different hats yeah

many different hats for this he'll bring back the hat like JFK killed off the hat thank you Kid Rock brings it roaring back and your final over hi dave graham and possible guest um this is erin calling from vancouver with covid 19 related overseen perfect uh mask fails i guess probably needs to be its own category we've all seen people with masks like on their chins just walking around their mouths out yeah

anyway yesterday at new brighton beach i saw a girl sun tanning in her thong underwear her butt fully out topless and um but like on her stomach but then a mask on her face it was like the most covered part of her body yeah well you can't get it through your butt as far as you know i'm gonna have to wipe off my bike seat because it's going up my butt um yeah i uh there's i definitely like years ago i thought if ever there's some kind of thing like this eventually the masks like people will design cool looking masks and it will just become like a part of what you have to dress like and now it's happened yeah yeah no i abby sewed a mask for me yeah and uh it's great and but i'm also like well maybe i need like a more formal mask yeah yeah

yeah this one's pretty casual this is casual mask i need like like a cum formal mask. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This one's pretty casual. This is a casual mask. You need like a cummerbund for your face. Thank you. Yeah. It is like a little cummerbund. It's got folds in it. It's got a crumb catcher. Yeah.

Yeah. If you're out there and you're a mask wearer, you know, consider a variety. Don't marry yourself to just one type of mask. Yes, that's an important lesson to learn. You know, different masks, different days, different shapes, different colors. Do one that's just got a big hole in the middle. Yeah. Yes, absolutely.

So you can like breathe normally. And like when you take it off, it's not, your face isn't, like, so sweaty. So sweaty and so sore. Yeah. They'll come up with something. Yeah, do one with a hole in the middle, like assless chaps. Yes, yes. Or, like, Amish sex?

Who does the hole in the sheet? Okay, well, I believe it's a Jewish Orthodox thing. Jewish Orthodox. Unsubstantiated. Oh, like it wouldn't hold up to a Snopes? Yeah, I don't know if they're going to. I don't know who's advertising this. I don't know either.

But I know that it's when you're a kid and you find that out, you're like, this is hilarious because ghosts also have sheets and the jokes write themselves, that's what I said well I guess that brings us to the end of this episode yay, we made it thanks everybody out there for listening and continuing to be safe in your homes and wash your hands and all that kind of stuff uh how are your hands doing my hands are okay i've been

moisturizing oh i can't uh it doesn't work not my hands won't take any moisturizer it's just like every day a few knuckles are bleeding yeah well that's and you've also got uh you've also got kids so you've got to be you got to be ultra clean all the time that's true i'm wiping so many butts in a day yeah yeah that's right uh way more than me and i average two or three in a day yeah yeah yeah well uh is there anything whether we're not plugging anything nothing's going on. There's nothing to plug. But yeah, thanks everybody for listening.

And we hope you're all safe and sound. And as we said before, if there's anything we can do as podcasters for you out there, please let us know. Yeah. If you just want us to put our butts on the glass, we'll do it. Yeah, we'll do some pressed hams. Absolutely. And yeah, thanks for listening and be safe out there and come on back next week for another

episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.