Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 638 - Jimmy Pardo

Episode Date: June 8, 2020

Comedian and podcaster Jimmy Pardo returns to talk quarantine chiropractors, summer game shows, and giving blood.

Hey everybody. Hello. It is Dave and Graham. Now the episode we're about to play, it's great. You'll love it. Oh boy, oh boy. What a great time for podcasts. But a couple of things we mentioned on the podcast. Well, you might recall in March we were going to do the MaxFunDrive, but we decided to postpone that for a while. And then in this episode, we announced that we were also going to do a new updated max fund drive, but we just wanted to let you know that whatever we say in that episode, not true. Yeah. And that's soup to nuts. Everything we say in that episode is not true.

So it's, everything's the opposite of what you think it's going to be. Maximum fund decided that this is not a great time to be asking for support when you could be supporting some other organizations. Yeah, there's fantastic funds have been set up for people who are protesting in Minneapolis. You can look up your local chapter of Black Lives Matter, see what kind of work they're doing.

And if you're stuck across the board for somewhere to donate, the Hogan's Alley Society is a good one here in Vancouver that does fantastic work around inclusion and historical kind of rebuilding of people that were displaced by some construction here many, many ages ago. So so thank you for supporting us if you already support us uh and uh we're when we ask you to support us in this episode ignore us yeah yeah yeah exactly everything is up is down uh cats and dogs love each other

it's that kind of episode and off we go dogs love each other it's that kind of episode and off we go hi he's dave shumka and he's graham clark and 638 of stop podcasting yourself my name is graham clark and with me as always is a man that you will hear for the next couple of weeks during the max fun drive dave shumka yeah i'll be also after, like I'm not just the next couple of weeks. If the contract negotiations work out, we don't want to, we don't want to say this isn't like a, uh, you know,

a lot of times when parents get divorced, the, you know, they'll be like, okay, well, mommy has met a new daddy, uh,

who will be with you for the next two weeks to raise money. Yeah. And if you could call him Daddy, he would love that. Yeah. Our guest joining us today from the legendary podcast Never Not Funny, it's Jimmy Pardo. Nice to see you guys, and good to be back. Good to be back on The Spy.

It's been, let's think about it i was in vancouver right when i did it no no we were in la good to see you guys again but you guys were down in los angeles but it was done in a hotel room was it not in a hotel room that's right in los angeles was a part of what you guys here for a festival and i think it was probably max fun con yeah and we came down a couple days early and we were lucky enough to get you as a guest damn right you are just as lucky as are now it's tough to get me right now with uh with me not having to do anything else yeah so take advantage you're the covid comic that's what everybody's saying that'll see huh um well i'm very flattered by that uh uh

title and uh god you you know what sucks You know somebody, some comic is going to call himself that and try to monetize. I'm a COVID comic. I'm just going around in front of stores and stuff. And I perform for the people waiting in line at Target. And he sells shirts after that say, stay six feet away. Something like that. I love it. Right?

You know what? Fuck this guy. Let's us do it yeah yeah shirts why not masks yeah no that's right yeah that makes more sense mask me more sense do you want to get to know us i do get to know us jimmy how how is it going amongst all this uh this craziness um you know probably this yeah probably no different than what's going on with you guys just uh you know it's weird doing our podcast all from separate

homes that part is weird um and uh yet at the same time it's uh it's kind of fun and interesting but i'm looking forward to getting back into the studio but home life is is great my wife and son are terrific and um uh we just got done watching the kamel nanjiani movie the uh the lovebirds have you guys seen that no uh my my wife saw it and i don't know she didn't say anything about it i walked i walked through the room while she was watching it and she was like yep it's the male movie i will i will tell you i saw nothing but bad reviews for it. And all three people in this house give it a thumbs up.

We all enjoyed it. Isn't that the best to find out in a movie is, you know, it's so great. And it just wasn't up to the critics taste. And then you feel like you discovered it yourself. I'm going to ask you to slow down. Nobody said it was great. I thought you said it was great. I said I enjoyed it.

I said three thumbs up. The word great never came anywhere near my face three thumbs up sounds like two thumbs up and then a third thumb was so i assumed it was great well one thumb for you know what i i as they said in the mother thing i take your point um but i i think they call it the mother thing too i think that's how they refer to it down here in the states um uh danielle's danielle was one thumb oliver was one thumb and i was one thumb so three individual thumbs yep yep uh up up so it wasn't so it's great sounds great it sounds great you know what we here's the thing they were very charming together their chemistry was great it was very sweet and it was also very we laughed a lot um who's the the female lead am i allowed to do uh here's my joke you ready here's a here's a pre this is a joke that i'm

coming into the podcast with you ready okay it was a it's a uh an actress who is nay uh that uh was lucky enough uh her family had jar jar binks name her isa ray come on see jar jarbinks would would say okay uh so we just watch that that's my point otherwise i've been going you know just running errands like anybody else uh you know heading to the uh grocery store from time to time heading to uh went to the post office today oh tell me about it yeah that's probably like uh because you only kind of want to take on one errand a day because you want to stretch it out over a week you don't you know what you do but you know i'll tell you something guys i did a triple dip today really uh i went uh starting out of the post office um and then i went over and got the i got an adjustment at the chiropractor um and then i went actually i had to go to i had to go a drugstore, and they didn't have what I wanted.

Luckily, the grocery store that I was heading to had what I needed at the drugstore. So I actually went to four locations, which I think is not what you're supposed to be doing during this. Well, and that's a week's worth of chores you've done there, of errands and stuff. So what are you going to do tomorrow? You got to, you know? Yeah, you know what? During the day, I've got got nothing planned but we have a live never not funny uh live stream for our subscribers tomorrow night so we have that

to look forward to very cool uh honestly other than being with my family i have nothing to look forward to except when i get the occasional opportunity to talk to guys like you or my own podcast otherwise i i don't i literally don't know i haven't put a gun in my mouth do you own a gun? No, I know you're not. I would have to buy the gun. I would have to buy said gun. Right, right, right. Then you'd go to the gun store, and they wouldn't have the one that you like, so you'd go to the other gun store.

And then there's that mandatory waiting period. Yes. By that point, maybe the pandemic's over, and then there's no need for the gun. That's right. And then good luck getting rid of it, you know? Luckily, I can just go down to Newport Beach, and there'll be a bunch of morons on the sand that I could give it to. I can unload it with those dumb idiots. No, I think it's no problem to get rid of a gun.

I think people are taking guns. Yeah. You think so? All right. Can't I trade it in and get gym shoes or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a toy for tots. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So that's it it there's my time thanks for having me you guys yeah yeah that's great uh jimmy what is the um pandemic chiropractic experience like uh i'll tell you what um i'm i'm having some issues with my lower back which is the only reason that i'm going obviously i'm that i was not comfortable with the idea of going right um but i felt like i needed an adjustment very badly and uh i had me i went to physical therapy yesterday uh for my back which again i was not comfortable with that either um and then because here's the thing you know how would you guys have you ever gotten a massage or gone to the chiropractor yep no uh No. You've never gotten a massage? Never.

I got a big weird bump on my back. Feel self-conscious about it. It's just because it's not big enough. It's not big enough to be a hump, so he's shy about it. Wait, I like to laugh as much as the next guy, but what does that mean? Do you really have a hump on your back,

or am I being the asshole that's ruining comedy? No, no, it's not a hump. It's a bump. It's a bump. Like the size of what? A quarter of a grapefruit? Yeah, but I'd say about a small grape. Oh, okay.

And it's something that you're like self-conscious about. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you won't get a massage or go to the chiropractor because of this? No. And when the sun's out the guns are in yes do you have lumps on your arms too is that why it no well unfortunately i don't i wish i had lumps on my arms hey i got lumps on my lumps man so um i uh so anyway i say anyway to, not to you guys in your fun conversation. Anyway, guys, I'm sorry.

I wasn't doing that by any means. You know, so anyway, you got to lay down. Dave, maybe you've seen this in a motion picture or something. Oh, sure. Yes. You know, when you're trying, you know, when you're leaning up from the back of the chair, so you don't hurt that bump of yours. It doesn't hurt at all. Sounds like it might hurt.

So when you lay, so here's what happens. You have to wear a mask so you know that's mandatory to wear the mask yeah uh you can't go in anywhere without a mask and i think that's smart anyway so i've got the mask on so then when you lay down it kind of pulls on the mask a little bit so yeah so you kind of hope that he does the adjustment quickly because you're kind of not able to breathe yeah so that um so i don't know if that works for or against you when you like if you tense up because you can't breathe and then then he does it so but i will tell you this uh i want to say this was in the top 10 best adjustments

i've ever had in my life oh where was uh where was number one let's go all the way to number one or do the top five well yeah i don't think I can knock down the top five. Could you do a Casey Kasem voice? I can certainly try. Now, listen, coming in at number one, coming all the way down from the Pacific Palisades. I lost it. I just went into Ross Porter, who is a former Dodger broadcaster. It is a guy.

I used to have a regular chiropractor uh named jesse and um who then went on to form a podcasting network so it's oh okay yeah so uh a guy named jesse who i here's the here's the long version of this i'm sorry that uh that jimmy we got nowhere to be take your time yeah i know but it doesn't doesn't it feel like i was shot out of a can in here like i've had too much caffeine i apologize for that i'll calm down i'm just excited to talk to two other people besides my family uh who i love and adore but i went to this one fella who was uh the uh uh who was the best chiropractor ever had i think he was terrific and i couldn't tell you his name right now for four million dollars uh he was great but then he moved right and then uh his replacement uh was a guy who was great and then he moved oh god um

and there's a chance that people were tired of being my chiropractor yeah well we're moving us don't come back to this office because i will not be here um so but the second guy that i the second chiropractor that i ever had uh his brother is also a chiropractor and that guy's name is jesse and i was like oh man i don't know that's weird all of a sudden your brother i'm getting handed off to your brother i'm getting billy ripken to be my chiropractor right i was over i was going to cal and yeah he hadn't missed a session just like the iron man and uh and so then uh so i get the billy ripken of chiropractors and you know i'm gonna tell you something phenomenal he would jesse was better than

his brother who was better than the first guy and jesse had hands the size of arsenio halls like they were just humongous hands so like when he would cradle my neck and to give me the adjustment i never i felt safe the entire time it. So like when he would cradle my neck and to give me the adjustment, I never, I felt safe the entire time. It never felt like I was going to have my neck snapped and broken. Yeah. And so,

and it was so big, like he was able to like get in there and do it. Great. Then something happened with Jesse where he had to stop renting, whatever building they, they, they turn his office complex. I know why they turn his office complex i know why they turn his office

complex into a hotel and um and that's a big sales point as they say this used to be an office building it's pretty cool i will tell you this it looks pretty cool now that it's a hotel it looked like a shitty uh uh office uh but uh it looks like a really cool hipster hotel. And then, so he moved all the way out of the Pacific Palisades, his office, which is far away and a pain in the ass to get to. And also parking is expensive and everything about it sucked. So I had to find somebody local and now I did.

And this guy did a great job today. Nice. Thank you. Thank you for your time. That was almost like getting the top five that was fantastic yeah yeah it's a journey wait i only i did did i there was the first guy then there was the brother then there was jesse then there was this i didn't have i tell you that i left her out there was a woman in the middle who um never got it she she did a she did a good

job not a great job right um the have you been going to a chiropractor for years and years and years, or is this just a recent phenomenon? I started going back in 1999, the year of our Lord. I woke up on October 1st of 1999 with Bell's palsy. Ah, okay. That is, if you don't know what that is, it's kind of when the nerves on one half of your face completely die, so you have no movement on the left side of your face. And some people have it forever. I was very lucky, and I only had it for a month. Okay.

But when I woke up that day. What's that? A very spooky month. The spookiest of the months it happened. And this is bizarre, to your point. It went away on the 30th. So I couldn't even utilize my half a face for Halloween. it went away on the 30th. So I couldn't even utilize my half for Halloween.

Um, so, but my, my, my agent at the time, uh, he was going to a chiropractor and was telling him about it because he said, Hey,

how are things going? And, and, and honestly, there was, that was at a time I just done premium blend for comedy central. And I was just, I think I was just up in the,

at the Montreal festival. And I just done some others. Like I, I had, as they say in show business, some heat going on. I've only heard it applied to other people. Personally, I've never contained any heat. I've heard it applied to Val Kilmer, Robert De Niro, Al Pacino.

I was in that movie. I guess that's why they call it heat. It means I went to see a movie. uh it means i was uh i was uh and i went to see a movie and um uh and by the way when we're talking about heat for jimmy parto it you know that's uh that's a guy that's a famous guy walking past an oven kind of heat like like there's just a little warmth going on for that guy yeah but for me it's like it's happening and um so he was bummed out my agent was bummed out because all this stuff was happening in fact i was supposed to start uh i was up to host one game show while i was going to be the announcer on another game show wow and i had to not do that job because i couldn't talk because my mom was like this you

know it was like that the whole time wow and so i i would talk so that guy can't be an announcer right so i had to quit that job i didn't get the other job for hosting the show because uh well again you can't have a guy with half a face so well if the show is the phantom of the opera then yeah yeah yeah if they're doing a game show about that one peter gabriel album where half his face is melting oh there's that you know what that's a boy that's a very specific game show it It's all like all Gabriel and Lloyd Webber. Nighttime darkness. My pleasure. So he says to his chiropractor, hey, my client of mine, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he said, you know what? Have him come in. Maybe if I give him an adjustment, that'll help help and i was just desperate enough to try i had always thought the chiropractic stuff was uh uh witch's brew yeah yeah mumbo jumbo yeah i always thought it was nonsense and it was like and and my agent full disclosure said uh you know what go give it a shot go once go once or whatever he asked once or twice a week for the next month

i'll i'll pay for it whoa uh let's because uh let's let's see if we can get this solved and um look a month later i didn't have it do i think it helped i don't know i do know that i enjoyed going at that point i did like going because it would it would feel good to get those adjustments so i i feel like a chiropractor would no matter what you you you came in with yeah my uh my friend is you know he's got kind of a toothache oh yeah chiropractor would no matter what you you you came in with yeah my uh my friend is you know he's got kind of a toothache oh yeah kyra you want to bring him here yeah like take a look you know what we'll go along that spine it'll be it'll be going to the heart feet have you ever done uh like acupuncture is that i i have done acupuncture because i had

some issue with my neck last year same here uh bad neck wait did you go to acupuncture because I had some issue with my neck last year. Same here. Bad neck. Wait, did you go to acupuncture? I did. Acupuncture? And your results? Very, very good. Very good. Really?

Yeah. Because I think they just hit the right nerves or whatever things they're going for. And within two days after it felt. No. Yeah, it was gone. within two days after it felt no yeah it was gone you know i i feel horribly because i would hate for the woman that was my the acupuncturist to hear this she's a big fan of the show yeah yeah we get played at conventions you know what she said to me and i thought this was very odd she said uh she goes what do you do and i said well i'm jimmy part of it she goes oh the podcaster

i don't mean to insult you i don't listen to american podcasts that's what she said to me i thought at the time i thought it was a very strange comment but that makes sense that she would listen to you guys yeah um so she um i didn't i felt like i got no results that did not stop me from telling my wife and son to go that did not stop me from suggesting it to them when they had problems i get a little alone time you know a little jimmy time yeah um so i did but you know what i did like i like the cupping uh she did cupping as well yeah that's and that i did think uh i do think that that was helpful um the cupping the other things the candling right some people get a candle put in their ear to like clean out the ear have you done that no i've never done it i'm too afraid too afraid that it's gonna bust something yesterday i had a sudden sharp earache yes and i've like that this is very weird it was like i think i i had just you know showered wrong and the uh

uh i i went and i did the thing you're not supposed to do unless uh i mean q-tips have been around my whole life and only about five years ago i heard you're not supposed to put them in your ear that's that's gonna be the hell i i die on i'm like yeah i will use q-tips no matter what i guess i hadn't uh been in there in a while and oh boy, it was, it was very satisfying. Isn't it? You know, have you ever had it?

And I, I don't like to talk about bodily functions generally, but there is, and I'm as guilty as you guys. I will go into it with a Q-tip. I might do it when we're done with this podcast, just because you've mentioned it. If you do it in the middle of the day, it's a real pick me up.

I don't disagree with that. It gives you a little jazz, doesn't it? it's a real pick-me-up i don't disagree with that it gives you a little bit of acupuncture yes um but if you if you let the ear do its job um you know which is you're supposed to do let it clean itself uh there is nothing more satisfying that when you feel that wax break loose and then you kind of do that and it falls out like that is just a wonderful experience that's nature taking its course it's nature doing its job graham yes um so you're open to all the alternative uh medicines or just just well i'm not gonna do candle in the air no yeah anywhere that's i'm not gonna do that candle in the year 97 yes which was that was about princess die yeah she lived her life like a candle in the year um but i i don't know if i'd go back to chiropractic

you know i did hypnosis uh once i did that okay which i've spoken about at length on the my award winning podcast never not funny oh to stop yourself from swearing so much on stage that's exactly right yes i um i would say and i know i know i've sworn already on this program but i don't know if you're going to go back and bleep that or what uh no okay we put in a wooga horn over like it's the dumbest idea in the world no you dumbass um i went to the chiropractor because I got not chiropractor. You asshole. The hypnotist. It worked because I could not stop saying fuck on stage.

I don't do. I don't do a dirty act. I do not do a dirty act. I will occasionally make some stupid jizz joke or something, but it's all that's all nonsense silliness. jizz joke or something but it's all that's all nonsense silliness but otherwise there is nothing in my act that's dirty nothing except for the fact that i literally in an hour set probably say fuck 200 times wow it is so unnecessary it's like and i can't stop it so i went to a hypnotist uh and she her name is lisa and she's wonderful she thought i was joking she thought she was being had like a prank was being done on her.

And I was like, I'm not kidding. I'm, I'm begging you to help me. And the process, she explained it to me with hypnosis was you replace the behavior with another behavior. So she suggested,

you know, to replace the word fuck with, with another word, be it fricking or bloody or something. Okay. All of which would make me sound like a bigger asshole than saying fuck on stage like so this bloody guy okay shut up with that guy we watch british only when he swore honey wasn't that strange so uh and then freaking

sounds like dude just say fuck we all know what you're saying so uh so i was like i can't do that i can't replace it and she's like all right well let's just try it and she goes i really don't think it's gonna work but let's try and uh so she would try and i went a couple times a week for about a month and it's just it wasn't click and i think i prepaid for you know 10 sessions or something like that so the very last session she's like jimmy i'm so sorry that this is not helpful do you have any other problems that you know maybe we could solve with with this and i was like well you know what the truth is i do i i cannot i cannot stop chewing on straws drinking straws oh yeah um i cannot chop like if i'm having a soda i will then chew on that thing until it is about the size of a chiclet piece of gum and then just grind it with my jaw and it hurts my jaw uh also

it's annoying for the people that are around me all of it's a nightmare and she's like oh uh she's like okay well let's put you under and so she put me under and uh and it does whatever she does and then uh she then snaps me out of it and that was what 2006 maybe 2007 i'm not kidding i am not shooting on a straw since then wow so I believe that hypnosis could work if there is something like to replace it. And I skipped the beat. The replacement was if I, whenever I felt like chewing a straw to squeeze that little part between my, uh, that little webbing between your forefinger and your thumb. Oh yeah. Just, just squeeze on that. It'll, it'll, your head will go, okay, that's when I'm supposed to be chewing on a straw. Okay. And then eventually

you won't even have to do that. And again, I don't have to, and I never have the desire to chew on a straw. Now, what was it like? I've never been under hypnosis. What was that experience like? Or do you remember anything? You know, I guess I don't remember. I do remember a few times my pants around my ankles. I do remember that.

Yeah. You got the happy ending? I welcomed it, Dave i welcomed it it was uh lisa was very charming and uh and then uh and then another time i was told that i robbed a bank but otherwise there was in my dorm in college there was a guy who knew how to hypnotize people and uh he tried it on me once but i was way too excited like you have to be super relaxed and i was like this is great let's do it but uh he did it on my friend and uh there was it was just like he would give him these suggestions and the guy just became very uninhibited

about these things and and i just remember one of them was uh he like is you sing your favorite song at the top of your lungs and i just remember him going down the hallway going sending out an sos now there there is a uh like hypnotist the guys that you know waste time on comedy club stages they will uh they claim that uh that not they one guy says this to me i don't want to paint the i don't want to i don't want to throw every guy under the bus this one guy claimed that he thinks nine out of ten times that people to come on stage to be hypnotized are not hypnotized but they're more afraid of looking stupid by not being able to be hypnotized are not hypnotized but they're more afraid of looking stupid by not being able to be hypnotized than they are from acting stupid right and and they're able to and

there's also like that gives them like your buddy yelling singing sos out of his lungs it gives them permission to be silly for a moment right in in because they never would in order to live so they take advantage of that uh and again they don't they don't want to say oh you can't get hypnotized they would rather lie about that and act silly uh than uh not be hypnotized have you been like have you you've been on shows where one of the acts was a hypnotist i have yes i opened for a hypnotist once and well i was trying to get the crowd jazzed up to see this hypnotist so i was getting them to clap and hoot and holler and then i left the stage and he said okay now i need total silence such a waste of our time my goodness i once opened up for a um an elvis impersonator um really and it

was at the uh it was at the improv in chicago and um it was the the whoever it was bought the place out it was a sunday night and uh these people that bought the club out for this private event event it was it was the tie forget his name the it i can't remember it sir sir not servino that's an actor uh something uh he was the the top elvis impersonator in chicago and like rick sacino i pulled it rick wow nice i think that's it uh s-a-u-c-e-d-o i believe it was rick sacino he was the top elvis guy and so it was like holy shit like i've been seeing this name for years like at you know cabarets around town and stuff and cabarets and um it was a different time where am i living no shit what the hell's the matter with

me at speakeasies cabarets the kind of so you guys get it you knock on a door you're allowed to see a show so um so i got asked and apparently they looked at tapes of other comics and they and and i'm the guy they hired for this private event to open up for the for the eldest impersonator and um and then the uh some, some friends of mine showed up. And I was like, what are you guys doing here? I go, are you part of this private thing? And they go, we heard you were opening up for the Elvis impersonator. We had to see this nightmare.

So they came to kind of hate me, watch me. You know what I mean? And so I went up, please welcome comedian Jimmy Pardo. And within seconds i knew it was gonna suck yeah within seconds yeah it was like oh they hate me they hate me they don't want me here they can't wait for rick sacito they they they it was awful so i then in a weird kind of f you to them and i don't even understand my logic on this i thought it would be funny if i thought i was truly opening up for elvis like i was dumb and i thought like well this is the real elvis he never died and so i kept on going come on minutes folks the king is gonna come out uh we're gonna got him

i can't remember what else i was saying but it was it was again if you knew what i was doing it angered you more because it's like this guy's making fun of us and my two friends in the back had tears in their eyes because they knew i was throwing it because i was sucking so badly so why not play for the only two people that give a shit yeah um and then he came out and it literally as elvis mother fucked me up and down like hey i don't know about that guy man oh i don't know i don't know about that guy man oh i don't know i don't know about that guy you know i mean i look at this i'm just doing a show up here man we i'm not the king i'm not i don't live some delusion life like it was crazy and then the guy pays me my money he's

like thank you like he just hated every second of it yeah is that a uh does then i feel like elvis impersonators peaked in whenever the flying Elvises were in that Nicolas Cage movie. Oh, yeah. That was kind of like their quote, if I may, their swan song, right? Yeah, but are there still any? When's the last time you heard about the... I mean, listen, I haven't been to a cabaret in years, so maybe they still exist. Yeah, sure.

But I mean, you're not wrong. There was a time, like I said, when i lived in chicago you'd go through the the entertainment section of the newspaper and you'd see the comedy club you'd see the jazz you'd see this and that would be you know at the condesa del mar it's the eldest you know you always saw it and you never do anymore do you no well there because there there are those like tribute acts yeah there's lots of michael jackson's out there there's uh around here we have nearly nearly neil the neil diamond impersonator what was uh the rod stewart what was his name is he like ron stewart or something like that and there's like you know abba and fleawood mac was and there's a lot of ones that just do

the albums they'll just be, we're just doing rumors. And it's like, we're not even dressing like the band. Right. We're just trying to sound as much like this album as we can. I had a friend whose brother was in a Beatles tribute band. Yeah. But did the costumes. They changed costume by era where the songs changed kind of thing it was uh a i like that yeah

i like a little showmanship to it i whenever i go to one of those shows and by the way make no mistake i'm excited to go if you're telling me we're gonna go see a you know a fleetwood mac tribute band you're like oh tonight's tonight we're going and within two songs i'm like but it's not them like i'm bored out of my mind after two songs it's not them mix it up a little bit i just do a whole night of different covers i don't need to just hear fleetwood mac uh if i wanted that i'd see fleetwood mac you know like yeah so i get uh that's how i i the only time i really truly loved two times i that i ever truly loved a tribute band was a band called strutter that was a kiss tribute band while kiss was in their makeup less years and strutter was

doing old kiss in makeup and so that was really cool because kiss wasn't doing that anymore right so that was a lot of fun and then recently i went to see uh a russian band called leonid and friends who are a chicago tribute the band chicago and their musician musicianship is so phenomenal that i even after three songs i still was enjoying it like i mean like well that's not chicago but they're but musically they're so great that i enjoyed it that's uh that's high praise that uh that a band i praise for lee by the way you can go on youtube and look for if you look up leonard and friends um you will watch one of them and go holy shit they're great and then seven hours later you're gonna go well i just watched all of leonard and friends like you'll you'll watch all of it

that's how great they are that's my whole day tomorrow yeah my pleasure i'm i'm gonna take your challenge i'll see if i do if i make it the whole seven hours that's fun um i don't know that i've ever seen aside from my friend's brother in the beatles band i don't think i've ever seen a cover or a tribute actor i went to like a Dark Side of the Moon How was that? I never really liked Pink Floyd So it was fine And they did like

Dark Side of the Moon And then they did an intermission And then they just did like a bunch of hits A bunch of Pink Floyd hits? Pink Floyd hits, yeah And then they ended on Uptown Girl. Big hit. Yeah. What is that?

That was outrageous, right? And very unexpected. But it was great. Yeah. Sir, God damn right, I mixed it up. I mean, I didn't, oh, look, I didn't say it was great. But thumbs up. Three thumbs?

Three thumbs up from this guy. The kiss taking off their makeup, do you remember where you were when you first saw their actual faces uh i was sitting in the uh the family room of my mom and stepdad's house uh when jj um jj was it jj jackson's that his name j what was that guy's name on gene simmons no i'm not that stupid uh what was his name on MTV? J.J. Jackson? What the fuck was his name? We didn't have MTV up here. We had Much Music.

Was it Erica M from Much Music? You know what it was. Thank you for straightening me out. What the fuck was his name? Anyway, it was that guy saying here, for the first time ever, we're revealing KISS. Say hello to Gene Simmons. I remember this. And then it was a picture of them

with their makeup, and then that would dissolve into them just sitting there. Oh, Gene Simmons, look at me making money. And then Paul Stanley, and then you go, oh. And then it went to Eric Carr, and then it went to Vinnie Vincent. and i remember thinking

yes that's who's in the band now but i want to see peter chris and ace fraley like it made no like logically it made sense because they hadn't been in the band for five years but it didn't make any sense to me because that's not i i didn't i somehow walked away disappointed and i know that's insane those two uh eric carr and vinnie vincent what did they get were their makeup versions of them when they was uh eric carr was the fox and uh vinnie vincent was the ankh how many yeah ankh yeah from egyptian yeah how many uh kiss personas are there in in the kiss universe that's it just the universe The four originals and then you throw in The Fox and the Yonk and then they were done

Like Larry Moe and Curly Joe No it wasn't Stooge heavy Hold on When they went back to the makeup Two questions when they went back to the makeup They didn't bring new guys in with new Personas No they gave them the old makeup

When they went back to the makeup yeah um when they went back to the makeup did strutter then go makeupless you know what i don't know what happened to strutter i'd like to think that those guys uh um continued on as a chip a cheap trick yeah i don't know the answer that's a fun fun. Boy, that would have been smart, right? I remember. Everyone loved. Everyone loved that era. I remember when they came back, they were on MTV as well. They were on the MTV Video Awards.

And they came out in the old costumes. And you could tell that it killed Gene Simmons' back. He was wearing those platforms for the first time in many years. And he was kind of hunched yeah yeah it is uh we just uh i just took my son to see them uh for his fifth time uh really and uh and i've seen them 50 plus times ever done the makeup what are you asking me what have you ever done the makeup i have not done the makeup since I was a young boy where I won a, in 1978 or 79, I won a Halloween contest. I was Paul Stanley. Nice.

And I was one of 4,000 kids dressed up as Kiss because that was at the peak of their powers. And I don't know why I won the Halloween contest. It makes no sense. I just looked like everybody else there, basically. But I did the makeup for that, but I never did the makeup to the show um no but uh but i will tell you this and i view again this is uh i think i've said before the first time i took oliver to see kiss i think he was five years old and fellas you don't know what it feels like to be white trash until you're walking through a kiss concert holding your five-year-old's hand holy shit that i feel oh he loves the song love gun he loves it he gets

it he gets it but he loved it he loved the show although i will say this last time i went to see them we went back too quickly after the previous time and the set list was pretty much the same so uh he was bored yeah yeah fair enough uh yeah i saw a family on the bus on this last tour that they were all done and kiss makeup mom and dad and two young girls were heading to the show yeah it was it was the best it was the best thing i've ever seen on the bus it was fantastic that's the that's the it's the that's the weird part it's like when you go to a kiss show now it's all dudes my age bringing their kids yeah because it's fun for kids it's a fun show it's it's it's a really good like it's like a cirque du soleil it's ridiculous these everything that they do in addition to the music so it is fun uh so but it is yet i still that very first time maybe because

he was only five like i just felt like you hillbilly you couldn't miss this or leave your kid at home you gotta bring a five-year-old to this get a sitter you asshole like it felt like that like like this is my day with the kids and it just happened to fall yeah yeah divorce divorce dad i'm not missing my guys. Yeah. I'm not missing my band, man. I don't care if my ex-wife's going to hate it. Right. Exactly.

You tell your mother you had a good time. Yeah. You're going to drop them off all jazzed. Don't tell her you went to the psycho circus. Tell her you went to the regular circus. My son, by the way, does a pretty good... Do you guys... Can I have my son be a uh

jester here for a second yeah sure i will have my son do his paul stanley introducing psycho circus impression for you ready okay is that again i hate to be this guy you're going to get him now yeah i love this okay uh again i don't mean to take over your program i want to hear it if you prefer i don't do this i understand please please okay hang on your wife will hate it um oliver griffin uh he's doing some business with the door uh quickly now son father need you um all right this is that's uh that's graham down there with the beard that should be shaved and uh that's dave who has respect for his face. I'll sneak in here. Hi, Oliver.

Hi. All right. We're not on video. We're only on video just so we can see each other. It's audio. So I just was bragging about your, here, put this in your ear so you can hear them.

I was bragging about your Paul Stanley introducing a psycho circus. So we, will you be kind enough to do that? I hate to make you like, Hey, come on little boy, do your little dance, but will you do it?

All right, here we go, fellas. Okay. All right, this is again, this is Paul Stanley introducing Psycho Circus at the most recent concert. Here we go. Okay, so they just finished the song. Woo! Thank you.

You know, you know, you know, at rock shows, sometimes we like to be animals. You know, we just like to stop being humans and be animals. And you know where animals go? They go to the zoo. So let's all go to the zoo. But you know what's next to the zoo? The psychosurface, boom.

And then he just goes into the song. Wow. Oh my God. That was wonderful. All right, get out of here. Come on. Dad's working, man. And by the way, word for word.

That's how lame that is. And you know what's next to the zoo? The psycho circus. Like that was his way of getting to psycho circus. And I remember- There are also animals in the circus. How about that? How about you just skip the zoo and of getting to psycho circus and i remember there are also animals in the circus how about that how about you just skip the zoo and go right to the circus it is even at the time and again he he's at the time he was 11 years old might have been 12 and it happened and we looked at each other and just started cracking up like so good that's the

worst stage patter in the history of stage patter have you ever listened to the soundcloud file that's just stage patter from several of their years of touring dude it is it's amazing i have it and it's and it's on my itunes and um and but it's by track on itunes or apple music whatever it's called these days so occasionally what i'm doing is shuffle uh like one of them will pop up and it and it just brings me so much joy and and you know that's right and then oh yeah here we go you know some lane pad the one i like uh you turn on the you turn on the tv bad news you turn you open the newspaper bad news we need some good news. And then he goes into a song. Okay. All right.

My question is. Yes. Your son. Yes. Because you pull him in to do things like this on your show. You pull them in for this. Does he think podcasts are just where people talk about kiss? This is new media format where you get together.

You talk about kiss. Yeah kiss yeah you know what's funny is i'm doing a um i'm doing a baseball podcast tomorrow and uh maybe i'll i'll bring him in just to see how it goes yeah hey oliver quickly now and then he comes in wait what's going on this isn't about kiss and then he panics yeah and then he just starts listing off baseball facts that you didn't even know he knew here's something you guys think about davy lopes i uh for a long time on instagram uh paul stanley was the only one i followed and it was you mean only person at all only person at all that i followed was paul stanley and so so my feed was just paul stanley and uh it was great it was great he's great he's hilarious you saw pictures of his uh like his pasta and stuff that he would cook yeah yeah and he's like

a big christmas guy so he did like a giant tree and all the decorations on the front lawn uh he's and he's just excited about everything he's just yeah i will say this and i know that they both get a bad rap because of how they treated peter and ace but uh whenever i look at photographs of gene simmons's fan his family it looks like a family with their manager like gene looks like he's managing this this family group yeah and paul stanley's family looks like a happy family like they look like oh we love being near each other whereas like the simmons family looks like they can't wait for that photo to be done so they can go back to making whatever money they each individually make. Like they just,

but I love, I love Paul Stanley's Twitter feed for that reason too. And I, and he's also very outspoken about our president and, and, and the way that he treats people and people are like, you know, just stick to singing.

He goes, I would stick to singing if this guy wasn't violating people's lives and rights. Like he, he, he pushes back. I've got a new respect for Paul Stanley. Yeah.

Yeah. And I know, I noticed that Gene Simmons has been noticeably mom this whole time. Yeah. He has been a little quiet during the Trump era. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Gee, was he, he was on The Apprentice.

He was. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He joylessly did that along with his that was when he was on his family jewels show that was that same hot big era for june simmons oh my god the most overproduced reality i mean they're all overproduced but that one was oh i fell down skiing and then really there's a camera in the snow with the perfect angle oh that's what a coincidence yeah awful uh just the worst worst

worst man around uh that's not true there's other words yeah uh dave what's been going on with you man oh well we're into summer season summer tv season oh yeah sure i i love whatever dumb summer like game show competition show that they come up with this year there's a bunch but yesterday i just watched ultimate tag oh wow ultimate tag who hosts Wow. Ultimate tag. Who hosts that? Tell them. The great TV host. The MC, J.J. Watt. Do you know who that is? No.

J.J. Watt is a pro bowl football player for the Houston Texans. Okay. But wait, there's more. Tell them who his co-hosts are, Dave. His brothers, TJ Watt and Derek Watt. Oh, boy. Up close with the Watt brothers. That's fantastic. Think of the amount of heat Jimmy Pardo would have had to have in 1999

to be able to bring his two brothers along to lose that announcing job. Well, isn it uh jamie fox on the game show he hosts it's his daughter yes that's right yeah so you know uh dave is it safe to say that between the three watt brothers uh there's not enough charisma for one person they are they are in my in my opinion they are i don't know why entertainment and the nfl is pushing jj wattis a personality yeah because jesus christ he's not yeah that is weird and the three of them together are just like a bermuda triangle of zero man it is just nothing is he the most charismatic white person in football is that why that could be it yeah gronkowski's going so now

it's this guy yeah yeah yeah although gronkowski is hosting right another show really with who's in that one i forget these are all this like it's uh they're all basically american ninja warrior but they're they're that same kind of like we're in a giant, dark studio with blue lasers. It's like who wants to be a millionaire set? But they're grappling. Steph Curry's on

Holy Moly, which is actually phenomenal. And that's like a golf theme? That's golf with Joe what's his name? Joe Testa, not Testa Verde, but Joe something, and Rob Riggle. theme that's golf with uh what did joe uh what's his name joe testa not testa verde but joe something and rob riggle and it's have you guys have not watched it i have no it's you know you guys are comedy guys it it's real it's real funny it's not tv funny it's like riggle and this guy joe are really funny together it's really good okay. Okay. I just, I saw it in passing

and I thought, this looks, I can't, I can't get into it, but maybe I'll get into it. I mean, not as funny as the Watt brothers, but I mean,

who can? No, no, no, no. Dave, they sound like a Vaudeville act. What'd you think of the whole, did you, because we watched the first episode and then made a decision.

Where did you land? I've made my decision. I'm all in on Ultimate Dead. It's, Graham, you haven't seen it, have you? No, no.

Have you seen, I mean, my favorite of any of these summer replacement shows was that one a few years ago where it was. They pushed stuff off of the roof, that thing?

Yeah, with a wrestler who hosted it and the prizes were on on a conveyor belt i don't remember that fell off the roof yeah it was called downfall downfall yeah and they if the contestants didn't answer fast enough it was chris jericho was the host chris jericho and uh if they didn't answer quickly enough the the prize just fell off the side of a building and smashed on the ground below. It was great. It was great. The other summer shows this year are Game On, which I think is, is that the Gronkowski one?

I think it is. I think you're right. Where, is Keegan-Michael Key involved in that as well? Oh, I wouldn't be surprised. Oh, what's that supposed to mean? He seems to be popping up everywhere. Like, he hosts the thing on uh uh that my son watches it didn't used to have a host but now it has a host and it's him

uh some brain wars brain engineer brain brain guys but i think that's the one with like venus williams against yes rob gronkowski no yeah i think you're right and they're like doing feats physical feats and then there's the titan games with the rock with the rock i've seen right where people are just like pulling a tire yeah and isn't that what was the first one was american ninja warrior you kind of kick this all off yeah but that one there's something about that one again i guess repetitive and a little boring but uh ultimate Tag reminded me of American Gladiator. Yes.

With the weird, like, I'm Tyro, and I'm going to. So there's these regular people, not regular people. One guy is like, I'm on the Team USA beach handball team, which is a sport I've never heard of. Yeah. Oh, how did they get him but he's one of the competitors and then there's like all these uh people that are i'm assuming stunt men is their day job and they just right put them in hair and makeup and and give them

a uniform and they're like i'm la flair and i it was i don't know what i wanted from that show but it wasn't what they gave me no at all like i we were excited to watch it like oh that sounds fun ultimate tech and it just was like it ticked all those that fake angry thing that people do like i'm gonna get you man yeah just have fear you're playing tag running around like kids for Christ's sake I mean I was so excited because tag is my favorite movie uh it's again

seems high but I hear you three thumbs up John Hamm's very funny in that movie I haven't seen it I haven't seen it either uh

right isn't that the movie with Ed Helms and John Hamm and uh I have not I don't I just remember it was based on real

like these three real friends. Jeremy Renner. Yes. You know what? It's not awful, but Jon Hamm is really funny. Can you imagine selling an inside joke to Hollywood and then buying this crazy... So this is amongst your friends, and this is a fun thing you do. Let's make a movie out of it.

And yet, I pitch things all the time and get stared at like i'm an idiot um but yeah so it's it's they start with like they go around you know just like this obstacle course and they these bad guys are trying to tag them okay so with bad guys and good guys well there's the competitors and then there's basically the American gladiator yeah yeah caveman that was the name of one of them and he went to the camera eat hunt tag they all had to do a thing like a catchphrase to the camera. Oh. My favorite, I think, was Iron Giantess.

And what was her? Do you remember what she said? I don't remember what she said, but she was six foot one. And is she the one that came out with the tiny, fast one on her shoulders? Yes, Atomic Ant. I don't know. I honestly don't know if I've hated a show more in the last five years

also like get like three gladiators don't have they had as the show went on there were more

and more of them and here's two more enough and he's coming back once again in this episode but as he's coming back there's three more

and there was one guy named Geek oh I hated him god i hate him he was like a strong napoleon dynamite oh yes this is all good this this description makes me very much want to watch this program this sounds great and so then that was the first round the second round that the competitors had to run and push a button yep like whoever got to push the button the most without being tagged then Then the third one, they were in this, this was kind of cool.

They were suspended in a, like a jungle gym above the ground. This sounds like when a kid, this sounds like when a kid is like describing to you the rules of a game that they've just made up on the spot. And the floor was lava. Yeah. Now full disclosure, this is where we checked out as a family

uh i looked over and danielle if she was a cartoon had x's on her eyes and uh and even and oliver who i think was faking enjoying it for a while and then i looked over ever and i said what do you think it goes i'm done like it was we were out at this point it was during that time david like so we didn't we only got as far as you're describing now yeah and then the finals was just another obstacle course and it was whoever had the best time oh good for them but then if they got tagged five seconds got added to their time and they all got tagged every time yeah that's the other thing they get tagged like there's no there really is no gamemanship they get tagged at least for the time that we watched it like they run around oh they've lasted 15 seconds tag like there's no

suspense to it at all i mean you'd think with jj watt the great storyteller you would add some suspense to it you think he would add a little something it's that it's three dumb it's three dumb football players no offense to football players in general just these three it's three dumb football players. No offense to football players in general, just these three. It's three guys going, Yeah. Like, it's that over and over again. There was one point where they were like, oh, all these competitors are gassed, and TJ has gas.

No, that's good. That's good. These are brothers. They break balls. That's what they do as brothers. Jimmy, is there a, like, you watch TV as a family. Is there any must-see shows that your family watches each and every week, or just a good freestyle? No, we became obsessed with Amazing Race.

We watched that. I think we may have caught up on every season. There might be one or two left that we haven't seen, but we went through a phase of that. Yes, there are things that we just't seen but wow uh we went through a phase of that um uh boy what yes there are things that we just watched but i can't pull them we're trying zoe and her crazy playlist or whatever we're doing that oh yeah what's that is that a musical one yeah where people which i'm a sucker for a musical so it it ticks those boxes for me um so i'm enjoying that but i'm trying to think what else we've watched as a family we always have these like you say a family show like john oliver is our new family show we watch that every every monday because we record it on sunday nights

and watch it on monday um and then uh the goldbergs we watch the goldbergs as a family yeah that seems like a good family show we watched modern family at least oliver and i did danielle was out on that yeah um and i i'm sure there's others i just can't pull them at the moment did you graham did you watch things with your family growing up i did i watched like when i was i mostly try i remember sneaking tv oh no like my parents gave up on that real quick they they thought like oh he's quiet when tv's on so tv is on oh yeah uh we would wait but you know when i grew up and again i'm much older than you guys you know we would you know you come home from school you would do you do some homework you would go out and play you'd have dinner then maybe you'd go back out and

play with your friends some more and then you'd sit down to settle down to watch tv and we would always as a family you know watch like happy days and laverne and shirley like it was a family thing to do uh you know dynasty dallas yeah that's the same we watched yeah falcon crest we watched melrose place as a family we watched melrose place did you really yeah yeah it was great. We watched Seventh Heaven as a family. It was hilarious. One of the funniest shows ever made. I don't know if it's supposed to be funny, but I hear what you're saying. And then, you know, like Friends and Seinfeld and, you know, You Must See Thursday.

That was the worst. I think into my, like, teenage years, I kind of watched stuff with my parents. But I was, like Jimmy was saying, saying you come home you play a little bit you you you do some homework then you settle in for tv yeah i was like go home tv tv yeah go home maybe even during the lunch hour just watch get in another hour i remember the with the lab maybe one of the last times was um uh family ties and it was the episode where michael j fox and his girlfriend who the woman he ended up marrying i forget the character's name uh shoot the actress tracy pollan but it's uh they were they were dating but then they they had a breakup and then he chased her to the train

station and he was wearing a tuxedo and it was really heartbreaking like and then they were getting back together and i remember watching it and just choking up and starting crying and being really embarrassed in front of my mom and stepdad that i was crying at this sitcom and it was like that from that point i was like i think i'll watch tv in my room i from there on out i can't risk this happening on a regular basis i don't know what these what else is going to happen. But I think that literally that was the last time we watched as a unit was that show. Yeah. That's a good note to go out on.

Bittersweet. Yeah. It was bittersweet. My mom and I also had, this was kind of a weird tradition. For some reason, the local Chicago television would play the three-hour movie of woodstock um every new year's eve and so where for a time like you know uh what no matter how old i was uh you know happy new year and then we would like uh settle in and like at one o'clock woodstock the movie would start and my mom and I would watch it until like four in the morning.

Like it was this weird little ritual that we had just, and we kind of just fell into it. So I have a nostalgia for a movie about nostalgia. There's a, there's a guy that's playing on stage with Santana. He's like the bongo guy. Yes. There's a lot of camera time.

Yeah. He's, he's amazing, but they, they really do drift away from Santana and just focus on this bongo guy. Yes. There's a lot of camera time. Yeah. He's, he's amazing, but they, they really do drift away from Santana and just focus on this bongo guy for like 10 minutes. It's great. I just,

I, I forget what podcast it was, but they did a, um, they were talking about Woodstock and they interviewed that guy. And to this day, that guy's embarrassed about how much camera time he got. He goes,

I don't know why that they constantly put the camera on me and and carlos carlos is the best thing like he he's pushing it all like why is the camera not on carlos and yet it's on me yeah so yeah that's fantastic that's fantastic so he so even he knows it's ridiculous how much camera time he got oh boy so uh yeah i've been watching uh ultimate tag and what else no that's it oh good luck here yeah the um graham and i were doing a feature on the show where we watched a bradley cooper movie every week yes uh but mercifully we ended that uh is it because you ran out of cooper movies or no i i didn't i didn't like it but he he was dave was good it's like

a kid who ate all his vegetables yeah yeah yeah so i got to take the week off and then well maybe after max fun drive we'll we'll settle on a new uh movie club yeah but aren't there uh but there's some good bradley cooper movies no yeah we didn't watch any of them oh well the best one we watched was uh stars born and then it was a steady slide down the way to do well i mean hangover right uh yeah isn't he in hangover yeah not even the most famous guy in that movie or was he he wasn't yet was he no no that was the that was i think the kind of the no one was famous yet right yeah yeah um well what what else i mean he's been in a gazillion things now right and he's good but that that what about that oh yeah no he's good like he the thing is we were we were watching

abby was watching uh get smart last night with anne hathaway and steve carell and and it kind of occurred to me that that bradley cooper is like uh a male anne hathaway like he takes it very seriously he he doesn't realize that you don't need to try that hard in everything you do yeah and it's like i think that my feelings toward bradley cooper are a lot of people's feelings towards anne hathaway yeah right interesting by the way i i like anne hathaway in everything and but you know what i don't like anne hathaway like i like you see her get interviewed oh my god pass a rooney man yeah but in a movie i think she's i think i literally can't think of a bad anne hathaway uh performance i think she's terrific no yeah she is very good you should see get smart oh i saw it you might be right about that yeah i think i was just i just

was mad at that movie because like it should have been great yeah because get smart was great that was it was good content you know and they're great the stars of it are great everybody's great why isn't it not great i don't know the answer to that i don't know why is uh the oh what's that fuck i couldn't pull the title uh what's that kevin james and david spade movie they're all grown-ups where they're where they're grown-ups it's called okay on paper that should be great too that's a great cast that's a great cast yeah yeah but uh it just was a bunch of guys hanging out at the water slides. Oh, boy.

I mean, on paper, Kumail Nanjiani and Issa Rae. Can't miss. I would say Passeroo. I'd say it's great. We enjoyed it here. Three thumbs up, buddy. So that's what's going on with me. Graham, what's up with you?

uh so that's what's going on with me graham what's up with you um well you know this uh this whole pandemic thing uh makes me not want to walk on the sidewalks because there's a lot of in my neighborhood there's a lot of joggers and there's a lot of families and i end up just having to walk into traffic and i hate it so i've just been walking around in back alleys that's my new thing is if i go for a walk hang out in the back alley you find a shady spot really loiter um but i'm really seeing this uh this city's uh the result of people being inside for months meticulously cleaning their house and then leaving stuff out in the alley as free things this is like a bonanza at this point during a pandemic who wants that nobody like that's uh here these are my old baby toys that i that have saliva all over yeah free free here's for the taking yeah there's

no there's there's one you know how like when people put out free stuff, there's always ahs was uh like a super super bowl bloopers kind of thing it had no cover but it just said like football bloopers on it and i love it yeah and all free for the taking can you believe it yeah i don't i mean we got when my brother subscribed to sports illustrated when i was a kid we got got this NFL bloopers tape and I watched it a thousand times. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Because we owned two tapes. And what was the other one?

My goodness. It was the Ewok Adventure. I think we just taped that off TV. Oh, that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. i think we just taped that off tv oh that makes sense yeah yeah that's it's weird when you're a kid and you just your parents aren't gonna buy infinite things so you're just like yeah okay these are the things i'll watch this is the tape i'll listen to and mine was paul simon's graceland

when i was a kid that was the only album i had oh no and i just over and over and over again it's burned in my mind it'll never leave sucks i was uh hate that album hate it really i hate it what what uh what about it do you hate so this is fascinating if i'm going to narrow it down i'm going to go with the music and the and the lyrics i think those are the two top things then the guy singing them is not appealing to me the cover art is fine though I don't like the cover art I don't like the statement it's making

the liner notes are overwritten what about that one bongo guy the camera keeps going you know what I love that guy because you know what he's self effacing he gets it and I love Simon and Garfunkel. I've seen them in concert many times.

I think they're terrific. I actually like a lot of Paul Simon. I just, I, man, I hate that album. I like, I literally,

like, I cringe and get angry about it. That's how much I hate it. That's amazing. I'm trying to think if there's an album that I've heard that makes me as spitting mad, you know? Like, I feel like when i was a kid

i bought a lot of one hit wonders albums and the rest of the song were really bad yeah so i did that but that didn't but like that is it does that can't really make you mad because you're just like well shame on me yeah yeah at least like with with graceland it's constantly being thrown in your face yeah yes i mean it was everywhere us it sucks i uh you know my dad had the uh to your point my dad had the um my parents were divorced but i would go to my dad's house and he had one video cassette and it was luckily it was the movie airplane oh wow so so we my brother and i you know that would be the the one like every hey dad we go back to your place and was the movie airplane oh wow so so we my brother and i you know that would be the the one like every hey dad we go back to your place and watch the movie and we would watch i must

have seen that movie a thousand times like with no exaggeration like that was the one movie he had yeah for a long time the only movie that i had was wrestlemania 3 oh yeah that's not a movie that's not a movie at all what yeah that's uh that's not a movie that's not a movie at all yeah that's certainly it's scripted but it's not a movie who's in that? Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant and Bobby the Rain Heenan they're all there so I've been walking around in

alleys and this week I went and I went and donated blood oh because now I got put in their system and they just send you I went and donated blood. Oh. Yeah, because now I got put in their system, and they just send you an email that says, like, now you can come again.

I was like, well, I have literally nothing else to do. So I'm going to go to the one place where I know everybody's going to be meticulously clean. Where everybody knows your name. Yeah, exactly. I walk in, and everybody cheers me with a cup of blood don't you get a cup of juice and a like a little cookie well here's the thing that you may not know it's unlimited you don't get just a little juice in one cookie they've got a table of snacks and they say literally take as many as you want so i took every one of the Oreos And a couple peak freens And a bag of chips

And then a couple juice boxes I really cleaned up Holy moly, what's your blood type? O positive Always look at the right side That's right Jimmy, do you know yours? I don't

I'm sure I do But push comes shove, I can't tell that to you i don't know it uh i mean if this was a japanese podcast it would be very important that's uh apparently something that matters quite a bit uh according to every like video game is that really a thing yeah like in in street, it would list all their name, height, weight, country of origin, blood type. Blood type. I guess maybe it was in case they needed a transfusion, but these are video game characters. So they're not going to need one, are they?

No, no. They might need some kind of data transfusion. I don't know how these new video games work. So maybe you could have told me yes, and I would have believed you. Have you seen that video of the guy who's got the VR headset on in his living room? And his family is watching him. He's like a dad. And he's moving around a bit. And then he just jumps and smashes the TV with his face.

Nice. Yes. This is why we got on the helmet. We were hoping to make a viral video, and he stuck the landing. He did it uh i'm gonna look for it now so tell me about blood um can i can i ask a question about the blood okay jay you one question okay thank you i appreciate the floor yeah give me the question uh do you have to get tested for to make sure you don't have the covid before you give the blood do they

test you for antibodies or anything before you you you get your temperature taken when you first come in you answer a litany of questions and then they also are testing the blood after you've given it ah so then if the blood's clean yeah they'll test it for everything that a boy yeah yeah yeah i say that a boy one more time somebody kicked me in the ball no no i like it i'll take you to a hypnotist we'll take you to hypnotist hey that a bloody kick me in the bloody ball um what was i gonna ask something about blood oh um do you do what was your temperature today uh it was wait what oh what was it 36 that's good Yeah Is that good When does that work out

To be Fahrenheit Oh boy What is it Let me check and see Fever of 103 You know Hot blooded Hot blooded

It's about You know 98 So it's normal So 36 Yeah It's normal How's that supposed to work Is it double plus 12

Or something Is that how it The shorthand is Double plus 30. So that would be about 102. But the real answer is you multiply it by 1.8 and add 32. Okay. I'm not going to do that because 1.8 is a disaster.

Exactly. Can't do that in my head while I'm walking around the Olive Garden. exactly can't do that in my head while i'm walking around the olive garden the the shorthand i think we learned from nicky glazer once was 82 and 28 are the same oh just swap those well that's good okay um yeah so it was 63 no anyways i don't know how that swap around works i don't think it's why i don't i think it's just the 82 and 28 yes yeah it can't be all of them it certainly can't be all no no that's how you do it oh okay thank you for telling me what if i believed you and then i started walking around telling me to swap it swap it around that's how it works guys um yeah and to everybody there's really friendly

you have to answer so many questions uh and there's ones that i was like huh what's going on in that country that they're asking me if i have been to france why why abby grew up in switzerland in the 90s and she can't give blood because there was mad cow not even in switzerland but because of mad cow disease hmm interesting yeah that's Oh, yeah. That's interesting. Yeah, I think I was going to make this one. I can't give blood because I was, oh boy, what's the least offensive thing I can say that's going to be hurtful?

I guess because I used to date Dracula. Oh, yes, yes. You swallowed too much blood. There's the improv skills you were promised, everybody. Yeah, oh boy. The panicky improv guy. Let's hedge our bets here. Dracula, universally hated but associated with blood.

But yeah, the thing, the big takeaway for me was that you had unlimited access to snacks uh it was your you but you went like 90 days ago or something yeah but yeah 90 days ago there was no worry about touching things now the table's just laid out nobody's monitoring oh okay yeah wait so i went were you supposed to take everything or you just decide they said they said grab as much as you want i was like this is dangerous this is dangerous what you just said was it like a ball like on halloween when the family's like we're just leaving the ball it was very much and that's exactly what i would have done as a kid and i stand by it they put out a ball that says free take take as much as you like i'm gonna take as much as i like which

is a lot uh so there you go i learned something about myself my blood type and cookie type in one of those um does your neighborhood jimmy have people who put up like a uh mini library yes we do have a little uh a couple of houses with like leave a book a book, take a book. Yes. I saw one the other day and I was like, Ooh, I would like to take that book if it was not pandemic times, but it was Jenny McCarthy's parenting book. Yes. Good.

Excellent. First things first, don't get shots. What's the second chapter? That's it. That's the whole thing. If you get an opportunity to be in playboy, take it.

Yeah. Run with it. I found a $20. I'm sorry i'm sorry fuck i'm stepping on your bit i'm so no no go ahead i bet mine was about jim carrey i've hated myself more than i've ever hated myself in my entire life jesus christ let other people talk you fucking asshole well do we want to move on to uh i want to tell you what i found on the ground go ahead i found a 20 bill that i've on the ground go ahead i found a 20 bill that i found the ground and i left it because of the truth be told i left it because of the pandemic i also felt bad like

well somebody obviously dropped this uh and they're going to come looking for it so i wanted to make sure that it was still there for them but i think at the end of the day i did not take it because i didn't want to pick it up because yeah pandemic yeah no and that's fair. I've got $45 in my wallet that I have not added to it or taken any money out of my wallet in 10 weeks. Isn't that something? Like, same deal. But I've used my credit card quite a bit. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. You can't stop spending. I can't. I've got a definite problem. In addition to not knowing how to shut up god damn it you're a shitty guest you're a shitty guest jimmy we love you good guys thanks for coming jimmy thanks guys um do we want to move on to overheards yeah yeah we are the host of my brother my brother me and now nearly 10 years into our podcast, the secret can be revealed.

All the clues are in place and the world's greatest treasure hunt can now begin. Embedded in each episode of My Brother, My Brother and Me is a micro clue that will lead you to 14 precious gemstones all around this big, beautiful blue world of ours. So start combing through the episodes. Uh, let's say starting at episode 101 on.

Yeah, the early episodes are pretty problematic, so there's no clues in those episodes. No, no, not at all. The better ones, the good ones, clues ahoy. Listen to every episode repeatedly in sequence. Laugh if you must, but mainly get all the great clues. My brother, my brother, me. It's an advice show, kind of, but a treasure hunt mainly. Anywhere you find podcasts or treasure maps. My brother, My Brother and Me. It's an advice show, kind of, but a treasure hunt, mainly. Anywhere you

find podcasts or treasure maps. My Brother, My Brother and Me. The hunt is on! Overheard! This is, um, if you hear hilarious things out there in the world and you want to report them here to the podcast, you can send them in to spy at MaximumFun.org or a phone number, which will be released later. Yeah, but now we do the human ones. Yeah.

And we always like to start with the guests. So, Jimmy, you did overhear something you say that's the greatest thing you've overheard. It is. And now I fear that I said this one the last time we spoke. Oh, now I remember what yours was. Do you really? Oh, boy. Nine years ago. You don't remember? No. I feel...

If you say it, I will remember it. I feel like it was about a latte. Oh, I wish... Then you're in the clear? It's not the same one. Okay. Here's... This was...

And I believe I actually told this one on Conan. And it's 100% true. So I was at a diner. And I was sitting in the booth, and my back was to the couple in the booth behind me, or to that couple and then every other booth behind me. So, right? We got the picture? Yeah. We understand how booths work, guys? Yes.

You long-winded asshole. So I'm sitting there, I'm eating, and I just hear, you know, you want a piece of this? And I'm like, holy shit, what's going down? And then I hear, I asked if you want a piece of this? And I turn around, and it's an old man offering half a sandwich to his wife. And I turn around and it's an old man offering half a sandwich to his wife. And I will go to my grave. That's the greatest thing I've ever overheard. It was, everything about it was wonderful.

That's fantastic. You see, this is why we do this segment. That was fantastic. Dave, do you have one? When J.J. Watt was on the show, he had a garbage overheard. The NFL keeps pitching him as a guest, but you got to bring his brothers. Like, no, we're just a three-person show. J.J. would love to do the show. Yes.

Yeah. Here's what mine. Now, in this 10th week of quarantine, the ability to overhear things has gotten much worse. Yes, that is correct. But the other day, I was taking my daughters to the park for no other reason than to kill an hour. Yeah. And they were running around. And at the park, there were people jogging, doing laps of the park.

And I kept seeing this woman jogging while talking on her AirPods. That is the worst. Can you imagine being on the other side? Never. And how important are you? You have to be on the phone every fucking second. I know. And also it's like you're out of the house.

Just meet up with the person. That's right. But she was jogging and talking. And then one time she came around the corner and she said, this is really good. Now let's do some sprints. So the person she was talking to was also jogging? Whoa. Oh, wow.

That keeps up the motivation. That to was also jogging? Oh. Oh, wow. That's, you know, that keeps up the motivation. That's social distance jogging. I think I could pretend to jog over the phone. Yeah. Okay. And what did she say? Okay. That's what she said?

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that. It's from that show. Oh, no. It's The Office? office no the american one um what's your overheard uh like you say it's harder and harder to come across uh quality overheard but this is from actually an advertisement that i saw in uh an advertisement for little caesars they say this is the place to order from because we make the pizza and then we don't touch it after it's baked and that to me is the lowest promise i've ever heard

i mean in this post michael jordan getting food poisoning from a pizza you imagine if you were the pizzeria that sidelined Michael Jordan by giving him food poisoning? My God. Jimmy, did you watch that? I did watch The Last Dance. And you know that the pizza delivery guy has come forward and says that that whole story is a lie. Really? That five dudes did not deliver the pizza.

He and he alone delivered the pizza. And he begged his boss to let him because he was a former Chicago in that had moved somewhere else. And, uh, he begged to be the guy to deliver the pizza and it was just him. And, um,

uh, why basically just saying, why can't Jordan just admit that he got the flu? Like, why does it have to be put on something? Um, and apparently there's a lot of, uh,

uh, uh, uh, spun stories that i can put that chart makes sense a lot of untruths maybe yeah but you know what i enjoyed it yeah me too i just i wondered how they knew at the pizzeria that it was michael jordan because michael jordan was in place in the call was he uh the pizza guy explained explained it in that they knew that the basketball player stayed in one of two hotels. Right. And then it's like, oh, shit, that's from the hotel with Michael Jordan.

And I think maybe he even said I was taking a chance. It was from Michael Jordan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I might have ended up going to Tony Kukoc's room. Right. It could have easily been that, but he got, I believe that's the case. And look, I didn't hear the story or i didn't even click on the headline all i'm saying is that this this poor utah uh pizzeria never did anything wrong yeah right they didn't do anything um now

we also have overheard sent into us uh by our listeners i like to laugh yeah oh good um if you want to send one into us you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org and let me just see where they are here we go uh this first one comes from megan in los angeles uh who's this from megan in los angeles yeah megan in los angeles you know her i know a lot of people in Los Angeles. Maybe I know Megan. She said, I was sitting on my apartment patio recently. Must be nice. When I heard kids playing on the church playground behind my building. They were probably eight years old or so.

One yelled, hey, let's play coronavirus. Who wants to be it? They all started cheering. And one kid, very excited, very excited yelled yeah cough into my mouth oh jesus these kids they they're they're just like us you know what i mean yeah they're they're mimicking everything we do i'm sure they are i mean monkey see monkey do playing coronavirus that is like the ultimate tag that's true yeah. Yeah. Get the brothers. Yeah. We got to get them. We got to reunite them. I would like to see them go.

They could become a Bee Gees tribute act. Oh my God. Three watts? Could you imagine? Yeah. Those three pieces of saltine cracker just trying to be entertaining. Jesus. They could call themselves three watts of power or something like that.

You know, play with the name that you've been given. Which is not a lot of power. No, that's very little. Or they could call it low wattage. It's endless. It's endless what these three guys could do. This next one comes from Arlene

from Ontario. My husband and I were on a road trip in New York State and stopped for lunch at a diner. The table next to us was a young woman with an older couple. We assumed her grandparents. We overheard, I'm trying to eat healthy, but I've just had so many bad experiences with vegetables. What's your worst experience with a vegetable? Oh, boy.

I always liked vegetables. Yeah. Me too. with a vegetable oh boy i always liked vegetables yeah like you do like the whenever uh tv shows were like oh broccoli is so gross yeah i was uh i was like no it's one of the ones i'll eat yeah i was always that way with cauliflower that they would always go oh don't he won't eat nobody eats cauliflower as i'm eating it and loving the hell out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It took me a while to come around to eggplant. Eggplant, it needs to be prepared quite well. I'll agree with you, I guess, on that. Only once have I ever enjoyed it. Yeah, you don't see it on a plate of vegetables, just a couple slices of eggplant.

No. This last one comes from Dave in Oklahoma City this is an old overheard from 2003 I found in my journal this is a good time to go through your journals yeah go through your journals and come send us your overheards please

I heard them while going to grad school in Mississippi person one and it took like an hour and a half to get our food. Person two. It wasn't the waitress's fault. She was nice. Person one.

Well, she wasn't nice. She wouldn't even smile. Person two. Well, her grandmother just died. So she was a good waitress, but her grandmother just died. Her thoughts were elsewhere. I think when you are waiting tables, it's just, I think when you're, when you are waiting tables, if you're right, it's your duty to say,

you know, uh, my name's Dave. I'll be your server tonight. My grandmother just died. Um, that's right. Uh,

I'll just let you know, you guys want to hear the specials now or my grandmother just died. Yeah. Oh, it's, it humanizes you to the dining experience. You what i mean and you're gonna get a bigger tip aren't you yes yes and then you come around later oh how are the first few bites oh you know who loved to bite things oh grandma oh grandma she had these chompers in addition overheards

that are written and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 that's one spy pod one like these people have hi this is ann from mount pleasant michigan calling in with an overheard um i was at the symphony tonight and the orchestra was going from like a pretty minimal setup to one with a lot more musicians. And as they were coming out, this guy in my row leaned over to his girlfriend and said, here come the brass. It's about to get real. It was great.

And I should point out that I've now gone back into the pre-quarantine overheard submissions. This wasn't a rare quarantine symphony performance. That big party they had in the ozarks this weekend there was no symphony there yeah yeah you could go and like just see the woodwind section in your town and then they would broadcast in oh they do one of those yeah it's funny none of the protesters are like, open up the state, especially the symphony. I crave the symphony. I must go to the opera house. Here's your next one. an overseen uh just walking down the street and saw a guy waiting at a bus stop and he wore a shirt that said i'm not always a dick just kidding go fuck yourself

good twist i laughed at it yeah well done i mean you sometimes see someone wearing a shirt with a swear word on it and you're like what about kids yeah what if a kid sees your shirt well you know they'll think it's so cool you will think you're super cool they'll want to give you a high five and that's not appropriate in these times oh i may be left thunder bay thunder bay you ever been jimmy i don't i don't i can't i i don't I don't I can't I don't think so No

No probably not Way up north Where's Thunder Bay? It's in It's in Ontario Way up north I'm told Way up north Yeah

Not far from Manitoba Yeah Cold Cold country Cold Alright And here's your final overheard Hey guys and guests

It's Cam from Texas Calling with an overheard. I was once in a national park in a picnic area, and there was a spigot with a sign advertising the potable water that you could get there. And a little girl was running around annoying her mom, and she read the sign and said, Mom, is that supposed to say portable water? And the mom said, Yeah. Mom at the end of her

rope, right? But potable, it's not a word you hear a lot. You hear it on Jeopardy, right? Yeah. Potent Potables. I think that's so... Kids like Jeopardy. it's not a word you hear a lot you hear it on jeopardy right yeah potent potables yeah like that so uh and you know kids like jeopardy there's one thing i know about kids they like potent potables they like potpourri oh yes they like before and after uh that reminded me of a time i was at the mall and i used i used to try to make this into a bit

in my standing up comedy routine um that was walking past the LensCrafters and the sign said, the optometrist is in and a guy said, oh, let's go get the glasses now. The optimist is in. And I gotta give him credit though. All the glasses, half full.

See, that's the bit I, that's the part I added to it, guys. The part at the end about the glasses, that's the part that I added into the act for the comedy of it. And that's what makes you Jimmy Pardo. That's right. Well, that brings us to the end. We met in a good way. Yeah, of course.

We love Jimmy Pardo. Really sounded the other way. No, Jimmy. I also accepted it. I don't think you were wrong. That's not in a good way. Yeah, of course. We love Jimmy Pardo. Really sounded the other way. No, Jimmy. I also accepted it. I don't think you were wrong. That's not in the act anymore. Come on, let's do it live when we're allowed to do that again. Yeah.

Do you have anything that you're plugging that's coming up? This will come out in about two weeks. Is that right? Yeah. Well, we should all be ready to go then. Yeah, I'll be good. Oh, yeah. States will be open up. Comedy clubs. Yeah, everything's back to normal. weeks is that right uh yeah well we should all be ready to go then uh yeah i'll be good oh yeah states will be open up it's comedy clubs yeah everything's back in our home you're out by the

pool uh throwing around a beach ball um i will be uh you know just listen to never not funny uh go to never not funny.com uh we got some good shows coming up uh and um uh you know there's 15 years of uh back uh catalog if uh if you like uh one of them plenty of there for you to listen to i think it's the first podcast i ever listened to i i thank you yeah no it was it was like there weren't as many uh comedy podcasts around at the time and so that yours was like a template this is yeah it's it's the jimmy it's the show that inspired us to do this show we when we started this show i i had been listening to never not funny a lot and it was it's very inspiring that you could make a really funny show without having super famous comedians on it because you would have

guests on and i i had heard of you know a quarter of them yeah uh but i loved the show so much and it we were like well we we know a bunch of really. Yeah. Uh, but I love the show so much in it. We were like, well, we, we know a bunch of really funny people. No one's ever heard of. Right.

And now I still listen to this day. Uh, even though where it's, I would say it's mostly a show where you're trying to guess the thing. Jimmy is thinking they play games within the show where you're trying to match jimmy yeah that well in fairness dickhead what those the the premise behind that is uh i one would hope your guess uh leads to conversation it's all uh jumping off point for conversation jimmy i love the show don't change a thing it's uh it's coming across hurtful i realize that now yeah i can't unsay it no you can't that bell

cannot be run that pace cannot be put back in the tube um well thank you so much for being our guest here is this what it was all about you string me along until the hour and a half mark and then just kick me in the balls yeah i guess uh uh i know you're notoriously not good at receiving compliments i'm better than i'm better than whatever the fuck you just did so i'm i'm notoriously not good at giving them i'm flattered that you still listen to it honest to god i mean that sincerely i'm flattered that you still give it the time of day considering that uh you do your own show and um uh i know it's hard to listen to other comedy shows when you're doing a comedy show yourself because the last thing you want is any of that bleeding in you don't want that so i'm very flattered that you still listen to uh the original yeah it's this is such a thrill

to have you as a guest this is uh you know just the one kind of lucky effect of this whole pandemic thing is that we can reach out to people that we wouldn't usually be able to and right thank you so much for your time and coming on the people who wouldn't normally touch us with a 10-foot pole that's right they're all of a sudden they they put away their pole and they're touching us they're touching us they're touching us i have a touching us. They're touching us. I have a six-foot pole now. That's right. And so you guys got within that three feet that apparently I had to say yes to this. Exactly.

I am honored to have been asked, to be honest with you guys. I think when you wrote me and said you want to do this, I think I responded immediately. Immediately. With some positive energy. Yeah, absolutely. There were exclamation points all over that thing it was fantastic yes i don't have a

period key on my keyboard that's the reason that happened but uh but uh but but i meant it this is the point gets across yeah uh well thank you guys and thank you to

everybody out there listening and if you like the show please tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself out there listening. And if you like the show, please tell your friends and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org

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