Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 64

Episode Date: May 23, 2009

This week we go without a guest and pass the savings on to you. We talk summer blockbusters, what makes Dave tick, and learn about your neighbourhood characters.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 64 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and joining me here at his house is the guy who lives in this house in the middle of his street, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, it's Madness.

Is that part of that song? It's the band, isn't it? It's the name of the band? Is it Madness? Was that right? Our House? By Madness? Is it Madness?

I want to say Madness. So it's not Nerf Herder. No, no, no. It's No Doubt. Oh, that's the one. And no guest today. It's just we're flying solo after last week's live extravaganza. Flying too close to the sun.

Yeah, on gossamer wings. Yeah, we just decided I have to go out of town this weekend to attend a wedding. Anyone I know? No. And it's only half of the people I know. I don't know the woman. I've only met her once. But she seemed delightful.

And they have a kid together. So it's about time is what I'm saying. Way to drag your heels, guys. So I've got to go do that this weekend. I'm going to wear a suit. All right. That'll be fun for you. Yeah, on a Saturday. So that's why we don't have a guest.

We threw this together at the last minute. This is one of those surprise parties where a couple people that you don't like were invited there's a cake that's just been bought at safeway heidi showed up and it's on a boat yeah and uh and like the cards uh clearly were used from previous you know things are scratched out or whited out, and a present is not age-appropriate to you. Somebody gives you a super soaker. It was meant for their nephew. Something appropriate for a bachelorette party. Yeah, exactly.

A super soaker shaped like a double dong. Well, let's get to know it. Why not? Get to know us. You not? Get to know us. You can't say double dong. What? I said who? The censors?

No, I'm... Oh, you're sensitive to it? I'm sensitive to double dong. Oh, okay. You have a sensitivity. Yeah. Is it like an allergy or just a sensitivity? I get hives and erections.

I get thrills. Chills, actually, I think. They multiply. They're made of plywood. Is that how the lyrics go? I got chills, they're made of plywood? I got shoes, they're made of plywood. Is that a Weird Al song?

No, I think it's just a misheard lyric. I got shoes, they're made of plywood. When I was a kid, I had a book of misheard song lyrics. It was called, Excuse Me While I Kiss This Guy. And every page had an illustration of the lyric. And that's the kind of thing that

doesn't exist anymore because of the internet. Like the scholastic book fair type books? Was it one of those type of things? No, it was in the humor section. Yeah, the humor section really has taken a big hit from the internet because you had those type of books

or like, you know, 101 Crazy Criminals or whatever. And that was a book that you would buy and now you would just go to crazycriminals.com 50 Filthy Jokes. you would buy and now you just go to crazy criminal but yeah like 50 filthy jokes what's always weird to me is what now that you have the internet sometimes this a website will get so

popular that then they turn it into a book yeah that makes no sense to me whatsoever why would something that you enjoyed on the internet all of a sudden be good in book form uh yeah i would the i think it's for lazy gift giving that's what i think oh yeah i think most of those kinds of books are or for uh people who have to read on the toilet oh yeah and don't have wi-fi on their toilet yeah yeah yeah um but so like uh because i know like that one uh what white people like white people like that got turned into a book and like so fast yeah well and there was another one like from years ago that was called uh uh it was like a thing where you would write your secrets on this website secret is it the thing where you

send in postcards with your secrets well post secret was one of them but there was another one that was less than post i always compared myself to my sister now she's in a coma and then there would be a picture of two rubber ducks wearing wigs yeah or something and it'd just be some weird fucking it's the most arbitrary arbitrary, stupid, fake, deep thing. Yeah, and I always think... There was one that I read that was... Well, some of them are really funny, and most of them are really depressing, but... Would that help if you had some deep-down thing to be like,

I've committed a murder, and you send it into PostSecret, and that makes you feel better? There's a few that I... Very few of them are murder-based. Yeah, but there's a lot that are like female empowering things that are basically crimes. Oh, really? That are like, yeah, you never really loved me, so I cut your break lines. Yeah, yeah, there's a lot of things about... Wait, that doesn't empower females. You called me fat, so I...

No, you... You challenged my right to wear shoes and not be pregnant. Because that's the opposite of what a man wants. Yeah, I want my women pregnant. What does a girl want? Let's ask Christina. I know it's not a genie in a bottle.

So, what were we... We were going to talk about something. Books? Books, yeah. Welcome back to book chat. Does anyone have the Gawker book? I hear that did horribly. I can't wait to get a book of maps that is Google Maps.

And then I can look at maps the way I like to find them. Google Street View, the atlas. It's weird because it's like we came up with one new thing, the internet, and that's been pretty good. But now we've just attached a bunch of old things to it, like, hey, get your onion.com keychains or whatever. It's just we haven't figured out kind of good things to it like hey get your onion.com keychains or whatever like it's just we haven't figured out kind of good things to go with the onion has some pretty funny things in its store i guess but

oh yeah oh things you can buy from the internet yeah it seems like that hasn't kept pace with the technology you know the merch is what i was yeah the the uh there's twitter t-shirts you can get and people vote for them. So how does that work? I vote for a design that I like? Well, someone nominates your, if you have a funny tweet, somebody nominates it and then I think if people vote for it,

they'll make it into a t-shirt. Yeah, see, that isn't, I don't know. And then eight people will buy it? Yeah, and then, I don't like, I don't know. I don't really understand. I fell out of the t-shirt market some time ago. T-shirts got a lot more complicated in the last, let's say, three or four years.

Ever since they added the other sleeve. Yeah, right? You understand what I'm saying. Because I'm a little teapot. Yeah. No, but like t-shirts, a long time i think they were blank for many many years and then classic yeah then somebody decided silkscreen i don't know when that happened probably the late 60s early 70s then uh and then for a long time it was uh people

were with stupid yeah and or have had wishing you a good day or a nice day and frankie say relax telling you to keep on trucking uh and then i shot jr sure and then the superhero logos for a long time yeah and but mostly it was a logo or a thing kind of in the front of the t-shirt sometimes a small one in the front and then something on the back but then it changed like then t-shirts became really artistic what's the worst t-shirt you've ever owned the worst t-shirt i've ever owned like well there's a pretty broad that you've worn and like that you didn't know was bad that i thought was cool yeah i had a chip and pepper uh tie-dyed shirt that said uh it had what was chip and pepper they were a couple bulldogs but they had human bodies i don't quite remember they were really muscly i remember that sure they didn't have the body of a bulldog

they had the face of a bulldog yeah and they were mind of a bulldog. The mind of the single man. No, the mind of the California surfer. But stopping short at it because the back of their shirt said, say nope to dope. Oh, nice. Yeah. So not that part of the surf lifestyle. Yeah, everything else. The surfing, the wearing.

The bank robbing. Yeah, the bank robbing. The wearing high top sneakers what uh i had what was the brand that was uh it had the yin yang logo t and c town and country yeah yeah i had a few of those is that what it stood for town country i think so wow uh you know because of all the country surfing yeah yeah yeah and town pond surfing they call it or or swimming hole surfing my uh going down to the country surfing yeah yeah yeah and town pond surfing they call it or or swimming hole surfing my uh going down to the old surfing hole my most embarrassing t-shirt uh on the front it said what's your sign yeah and on the back it had all kinds of different signs like a stop sign

an astrological sign a sign of the apocalypse i don know. But it had all these examples of signs, and one of them was the Hootie and the Blowfish logo. There's a logo? Well, I don't think it was their official logo. I don't think they ever had an official logo. But I went to a concert in grade 10. What? Hootie and the Blowfish? This is a weird thing.

A couple weeks ago I was watching... Hootie and the Blowfish live. Yeah, at a concert. It was great. Hootie and the Blowfish. I was watching Friends and there was just a wayward quote where one of them was like, I got tickets to Hootie and the Blowfish. And I was like, that's right. People went

to Hootie and the Blowfish for like six months. That was a huge thing um yeah yeah yeah oh but it wasn't just a throwaway line it was a plot point oh was it because only three of them three of the friends had enough money to go right and what i think one of them um monica i think made out with one of the blowfish oh right yeah but now hootie of the Blowfish. Oh, right. Yeah. But now Hootie's the, he was the black guy, right?

None of them were named. John C. Hooteman. Yep. Shortened his name to Hootie. When I saw them, there was, it was in the summer and a girl took off her top. Yeah. And that was, that was the show. Oh, really?

Yeah. The whole band was staring. The whole crowd was staring. She was on her boyfriend's shoulders. Where do you think that girl is now? I think she's a listener. Yeah? Yeah, I think she runs a blog for moms.

She wrote you and said, remember my teats? Yeah. From Hootie and the Blowfish? I also remember... Hootie and the Blowfish? I was in the front row, and the lead singer,otie charles hootmore yeah uh i did the uh i i mimed uh like strumming a guitar and throwing a guitar pick and he threw his guitar pick but it and it landed near me but i didn't get it and then then I remember, I think... Doing it again? Like, try again?

I stayed for like an extra half hour looking for it. Oh, that's heartbreaking. Is it? Who'd you go with? I want to say my friend Pat. So it wasn't a parent's... No. Parent slash Dave Venture?

No. Hmm. Too cool for school. The, uh... Uh... Who the guy, uh... Hoodeman. He is now a country singer.

Yeah. Which is, I don't think... He's got a great voice for it. How did country music become the dumping ground of people who weren't able to make it in mainstream? Jessica Simpson, Darius Rucker. And now Jennifer Love Hewitt just announced today that she's going to do a country album. She's not even a singer. She had a couple songs.

Now she's only going to whisper to country ghosts? Is that what I'm supposed to believe? Yep. Bumpkin ghosts. People who died in weird ways. Like weird, embarrassing southern ways. Them southern ways. Have you seen The Ghost Whisperer ghost whisperer no ah it's really wait is jamie kennedy on it now yes then yes i have and he plays her the show's already like i guess you

already have to take a bit of a leap of logic and you're like okay she can talk to ghosts but then you also have to extend it to the fact that she and jamie kennedy somehow end up together you're like well that's not i believe the ghost thing i think they're together in real life what no i want to say that no what you know what i really like is that medium uh i don't know what that is okay i don't know i don't really like it what's the other one the other guy the mentalist yeah what's that all about he's the mentalist guy he's the mentalist you're the most mental that's what the that's the why it's called that yeah he's the mentalist

you won a contest so you think you can mental. Graham, should we get to know you? You bet. I went and saw Star Trek. That's about it between when I last saw you at the live taping. And thanks to everyone for coming to that. Yeah, we had a lot of fun. That was a great amount of fun.

It was really fun to do it, and I hope everybody at home listening to it uh dave and i are appearing on a live show not in podcast form but we'll be uh at a live show at the cambrian hall on uh may 29th it's a show called the laugh gallery i will be hosting dave will be one of the performers on the show uh it's a very it would be a very good show uh you can get tickets at Happy Bats, which is on Main Street if you live in Vancouver. And if you don't live in Vancouver, you're not going to come anyways. So I'll just shut my big fat mouth then. Good plug. Let's talk Star Trek.

Did you like it? I've also seen it. And I guess I like it. Did you watch the show? Okay. it would you do now did you watch no okay but but it's one of those things where I don't I never watch the show but I'm well aware of all their catchphrases and what damn it Jim I'm a doctor etc yeah and what they do and the who what everyone's role is yeah and how logical that one guy is yeah bones yeah he's the mentalist that's about all

but and i had seen i think one i had never watched a tv show any of the tv shows okay i'd seen one of the movies i think the one where they go home and they uh spock wears the headband and they talk to whales no maybe maybe i've seen one of the next generation movies okay um did you like it the star trek movie yeah it was okay you were like whatevs yeah um it was a little long yeah but every movie is a little long that's true uh i liked it a lot but it's i i used to be a big fan of the original show. I used to watch it. And the thing is Spock, and spoiler alert, by the way, and Uhura, he never was with anybody on the show. He was like a lone wolf.

So he just moved that plot line along. He's all making out with the hottest chick on the ship. Well, the only chick, really, on the bridge. So that was interesting. I enjoyed it. The people, I sat to sit in the front row, so that wasn't pleasant at all. Oh, why?

Ah, I got there late. But you saw, not the weekend it came out. No, I know, and yet, there were still lineups for it, because it was a long weekend this weekend. I always, whenever I go to the movie theater, I feel bad because I'm always thinking like, don't you people have anything better to do? But I'm also in the same boat. But whereas I actually look forward to this event, I know these people are just they just don't have any imagination of something better to do.

Yeah, I've never gone to a movie not knowing what movie I wanted to see. Like, I feel that some people just go to movies and decide when they get there. Yeah, like we're going to the movies is what they would say. Yeah, like an event. Yeah, like we're just going to go to a movie. The opposite of an event. Yeah, like I'm going to see a movie. You're just going to the movies.

You just came here to eat popcorn. Yeah, you're going to sit behind me and talk on your PDA. That's me being media savvy because it's not just cell phones anymore. Am I right? Did someone talk on their PDA during? You betcha. I don't know why. I don't know why anybody ever does that ever.

Was it an important call? No. Was it during the movie yes oh i know but what are you supposed to do i gave them the look uh i should have said you're being illogical that would have been a nice tie-in yeah you would have got an applause break i did notice in the movie when like everyone got to say their catchphrase yeah which is fun i think everybody appreciated but there was a i felt like there was a pause after everyone for the audience to laugh or applaud.

Yeah, which didn't happen. It didn't happen in my theater either. I think that would have been a movie that I should have gone to when the nerds were happening there. Because then it would have been a lot more bubbly in the crowd. But then I say that, and then every time i've done it it's been a

horrible horrible mistake so i saw it um when snobs were there oh okay i sat in front of snobs uh uh i don't know the difference between nerds and snobs is but uh the previews before one was for G.I. Joe oh okay can we talk about that for a second yeah one was for G.I. Joe and one was for Transformers 2 and after each of them the snobs behind me went

oh god as if they didn't know they were going to see a Star Trek remake yeah like they were like wait a minute this isn't the Bergman Film Festival. Yeah. Where are we? Can you believe they're making a G.I. Joe movie? This is a...

I'm not sure why they made that movie. But here's the thing. If anybody in Hollywood is listening, stop making movies where your entire appeal is contingent upon you blowing up a monument. Because it's been done. It's been done really well in a couple of movies. Independence Day. Nailed it, right? Yeah.

Doesn't need to be done again. So then what's the opening shot? That movie, United 93. I don't remember that one. Oh, right. Nicholas Cage in that one? No, wait, that was... What was the Nicholas Cage one?

Ladder 26. Ladders and Hoses? The Takening of Pelham 123. Oh, yeah, the Takening. That's not it, is that it it i think it's just taking yeah i don't think they made up a word for that um that gi joe movie whatever the eiffel tower falls over oh it's like yeah yeah yeah in the preview it's exactly like team america yeah yeah yeah yeah and it looks it does that's what it looks like And I don't know if the producers know it, that they made a non-ironic Team America live action film.

What is G.I. Joe if not Team America? Yeah, I don't think that they realized that the G.I. Joe thing spawned a generation that then looked back on it ironically, and that generation is no longer interested in seeing a G.I. Joe movie. But you know what? They'll prove me wrong. They'll make millions and millions of dollars. Pretty ladies in tight clothes.

At Transformers 2. That's really going to wrap up some of the loose ends of the first one, hey? Yeah. Wait, these cars can talk? Oh. What is the line that Optimus Prime says? He's like, I forgot to tell you about your destiny.

Some ridiculous fucking... You left the oven on. But my favorite thing is the, in the preview, you got LeBouf. He's back buffing it up. Big shy. And then there's kind of

some dialogue between him and Megan Fox, who in Transformers 1 was just some actress. Now she's been escalated to Megan Fox status. Right, because she did Transformers 1? Yeah. How'd she earn that? Because she's a sex pot, right? Yeah, she's no great shakes.

No, you don't think so? I don't care for her. Do you? She's not for me, but in the ad, there's a scene of her. She's like straddling a motorcycle. That's how you ride one. Yeah, and then Shia LaBeouf, you can hear. It's no longer a reasonable relationship that those two would be together in a movie.

It no longer makes sense. Yeah, it never really was. No, she was too hot for him. Yeah. But Optimus Prime, going back back he's more of a match for her i think in the movie like she's a she looks like the type of girl who would date a truck you know what i mean he's from the wrong side of the tracks she thinks she can fix them exactly so i don't know like it's uh but the thing like always with sequels isn't the thing supposed to be like we took the first thing and added in a thing

to make it the next thing but in transformers 2 it's just like remember that thing here's the same exact thing at least in three men and a little lady she was a little lady at that point this is what i'm saying michael bay these things can't the cars and trucks don't grow they don't grow into little women they're all hybrid vehicles that's the twist yeah they're all environmentally friendly um so that's coming out. But the previews, like, there was a lot of previews leading up to that Star Trek. They're really, like, they know that that's the movie everybody's going to see. They crammed them all in. But by far, that, man, does that G.I. Joe look bad.

Like, there's not a real... Whenever you see a guy, it's like, you know, Dennis Quaid's made a lot of good movies. But he's not... He wouldn't be my point man to be an action lead. Yeah, he's not. I think he's the voice of reason. Yeah. He's the by-the-book guy.

I think Channing Tatum's your action lead. You know, star of fighting. Is he in it? Yeah. Yeah, okay. He's like Duke. Do you think that sometimes they just make a throwaway movie so that you could say the guy from that movie just before they come out in

another movie like gi joe funded fighting on the side just so they're like well we don't want a nobody in it so we'll make fighting he's been in a couple of things i think he was in a uh a dance movie maybe oh dance movie i had free passes to that tonight and now we're here not dance flick maybe dance flick maybe a how she move um how many more wayans brothers do you see in the future uh ten or less five or less or more than ten what do you mean the future uh the future the next 10 years like we'll be born no wayne's movies okay you said brothers oh way yeah how many more wayne's brothers do you think there will be uh i think the mother's gotta be infertile by now um no she's like the alien mother

she's like has them like pods oh spoiler, spoiler alert. Oh, sorry. Haven't seen Alien. Oh, really? Yeah. Wow. It's kind of, you don't really like horror movies. It's not really a horror movie, though. I guess it's kind of a sci-fi.

Yeah, I'm not, I don't know what I like, because. Yeah, what do you like? Just delve into that. What type of movie do you enjoy? Because every movie you kind of say i was okay i used to feel like i love every movie like what what why would anyone give a movie a bad review yeah we're all here to enjoy it yeah yeah exactly but now like i i used to be able to watch bad movies like with a bit of like just to make fun of them yeah yeah sure but i'm not i can't watch a jean-claude van damme movie anymore

not at all hey no hmm what's the last movie you saw that you really enjoyed um uh the gi joe preview uh well done uh no i don't know i don't remember but uh i like i like going to movies i like watching movies i don't like going to movies i hate it watching movies. I don't like going to movies. I hate it. I hate the crowds. I hate the people behind me. If there's people in front of me, I hate them too. I don't like it.

There's nothing I... I think it's a thing that is fun when you're a kid. And then when you go as an adult, you're remembering that it was fun when you were a kid. But I don't think it's actually still fun. Do you think? Yeah, because I'm not the kind of guy who likes leaving the house at all yeah but when you do you like to be surrounded by as many strangers as possible and that's that creeps me out more and the idea that we're having this we're sharing a common event bums me out. So. Like, I'm a big hockey fan.

And if I can get tickets to a hockey game, I will go in a heartbeat. Yeah. But the idea of watching it in a bar with other people watching it and like celebrating with them. That weirds you out. Oh, I don't want to high five you. I'm like, my body's tightening up just talking about it. This is like when you watch The Sopranos and Tony has a real breakthrough with the psychologist. I feel like this is huge.

Speaking of The Sopranos. Sopranos? G.I. Joe's. Sopranos? G.I. Joes. During the last two seasons, former podcast guest and hopefully future podcast guest, Charlie Demers,

he used to come over and watch it. Oh, yes. And that is the kind of thing that has turned, that's gone the way of the dodo. I don't want to watch TV with other people. I don't want to have to wait an hour to watch a show. Man, what's happening to you? What kind of old man do you think you're going to be? A crazy one?

I'm not going to make it to old man. How do you figure? You're pretty healthy. I burn pretty bright. You do. You're living fast and young and leaving a hot-looking corpse. Is that how it goes? It's better to burn out than fade away, I guess.

It's better to corpse up than flame out goes it's better to burn out than fade away i guess it's better to corpse up than flame it's better to repeat and fade exactly that's how 80s pop stars die um so yeah what like i mean uh say you have a youngster okay say that that happens they're gonna they're to be playing sports. You're going to have to go out to the soccer games. What are you going to do then? What if a parent wants to give you a high five after his kid scores a goal? What are you going to do?

Are you going to turn him down? No, no. You know I love camaraderie. Wait. But no, that's a weird situation because you're all in this together. It's your kids all competing together. So is that good or bad? That's better.

I thought you hated camaraderie. No, no, it just seems a little contrived in other situations where it's like you end up at a sports bar with some dirt bags. end up at a sports bar with some dirt bags. That is kind of a thing that happens merely out of circumstance where it's a sports bar thing or it's the same thing if you watch a street fight or all of a sudden you're friends with these people talking to people that you don't know.

If there's a car accident, everybody's standing around and all of a sudden people are having those conversations about like what happened and you know oh i hope the guy's all right and you know my uncle one time he was in a car accident and then there's like this instant faco camaraderie yeah is it that what is that what bothers you is it no because that's not that faco oh okay so mine is a more legit form yeah i Yeah, I think so. But, like, I can't explain it. Try for our listeners at home. It's a dirty world.

Yeah, in that situation it would be great, because then you could be like, I told this great story about my uncle's crash. Like, you could think back and, like, I was the hit of that car crash. Yeah, yeah, like, there are some people that always come up as the hit there's the one guy he's got like a lot of jokes he's kind of lightening the mood for everybody else you know be like oh i don't know you know i guess that guy won't be going to the indie and everybody's like yeah and not bad this

guy just came in with some fresh perspective. And you're so mad. Yeah, because I'm like, well, at least people don't know that this is what I do for a living. You couldn't come up with anything. So the shared experiences. That's why you hate theater, right? You hate theater so much. I hate theater because theater sucks. What about going to see a band play?

Yeah, I used to be into that. Then what happened? What happened? So loud. Yeah? So late, too. Like, can the band go on at 8? No.

What's the thing? Do you find that people just stand around mostly at bands? Not a lot of dancing going on? It depends. Yeah? What shows have you been to where there's been dancing? TNT Music Factory, obviously. Everybody danced on command.

Now. CeCe Peniston. All of the big dance acts. Yeah, okay. I went to see, a few years ago, Franz Ferdinand, and that was a real dancey club. Did people dance? Yeah.

Oh, that's all right. I think there's, like, your dance punk bands, people will go, your chick chick chicks. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Oh, that's interesting. But there's a lot of mopey just nodding to the music at most shows. Yeah. Well, it's an interesting view into the psyche that is Dave Shumka.

Right. Yeah. It's fascinating stuff. All right. If you're an armchair psychologist out there, you're probably getting a lot out of this. Well, you're just asking the questions, Graham. I don't know how you feel about these things.

I guess you like camaraderie. Yeah, I'm all right with it. And public dancing? That's the only thing I don't like about... I love public dancing. I don't like going to movies just because I feel like there's a... It only takes one or two people to effectively ruin the experience for everybody. It's unlike anything else in that respect.

It would be very hard for one or two people to ruin a band yeah or uh or a car accident it would be really easy for one or two people to ruin a play like completely i mean the movie still goes on but see there's a chance that if i throw paint at the actors shows over but that there's a chance that two people... If I throw paint at the actors, show's over. But there's a chance that that makes it more of a thing. If there's a guy talking during a play, the actors can incorporate it into the play. It could be really magical. It's never going to be magical in a movie.

You're just talking over dialogue that I'm missing. The only thing that really ruins a movie for me... Well, talking, but the other thing... And the title of the movie is G.I. Joe. That ruins it for you? The one thing that I can do to ruin the movie myself is my bladder oh like the last half hour of a movie when that's all that's on my mind you know that there's a website it was pointed out to me today by uh one thor dykow sure uh that said it's called p break and it's all the movies that are out in

theaters right now and somebody is like, there's different rankings of when's the best time to go for a P-Break. So people vote on like, no, it's this scene where they're just having dialogue that's about nothing. That's the best time. They should come up with a book of that. Yeah, I will give it to you for Christmas.

I'll read it on the toilet. P-Break.com. Do you want to move on to some overheards? Sure. Overheard. Oh, God. I don't remember any details. It's all right.

You're going to have to make them up on the fly. Sure. Like a parkourist. You'll be like a verbal parkourist. Yeah. For those of you just tuning in when we were saying verbal parkourist. We're watching, what is it, Casino Royale?

Yeah, Abby was watching. We just passed by it. It's the scene where he's chasing a suspect. And they're both doing parkour, which is the art of running through construction sites and such. The art of jumping.

Jumping on things and rolling and avoiding death. Yep. And then I was like, I want to take lessons in parkour. And then you said that your friend. And then I said that my friend did take lessons. And where do you take lessons? The Y? Yep, you take them at the Y.

No, you don't. Really? Well, you told me I'd have them at the Y. No, you don't. Really? Well, you told me I'd have to do rural parkour. Oh, yeah. Nice. Nice work. So, yeah, you go to the Y or the Boys and Girls Club. Or the Rotary Club if you're a townhouse.

Yeah, or the 4-H. I want to see rural parkour. Yeah, rural parkour where you just jump up on a post and you bounce on one foot yeah and then you dive in a ditch and you roll out and drink some moonshine yeah but my friend did take parkour and uh he like i think it's just well i think like parkour, the classes are everywhere. But is that a friend in town? I think he took it in town. Wow.

He's a breakdancer. Oh, so he already had previous experience in painful landing on cement. Yeah, in upper body strength. And he currently lives in Tokyo. Is he a breakdancer in Tokyo? Yeah, professionally. That's why he moved. That's not true.

Of course not. How awesome would that be, though? If he got a grant. Yeah, he got a Tokyo grant. No, his breakdancing is huge in Tokyo. It's like underappreciated here, but over there they're like, ah, his style is so fresh. Your breakdancing is so big

you can go on tour, but just to one place and live there. Overherds. We got some caller overheards. Do we have write-ins? I think we have a write-in. And I have one. Do you have one? I have one, too.

Okay, do you want to go first or should I go first? Do you want to parkour for it? What? Parkour for it. Let's start with me. Let's start with a whimper. Graham, you were in a provincial election. That's correct.

I lost. Right. But the premier of our province is named Gordon Campbell. Gordo for short. Sure. And I saw someone had written some graffiti about him, but they wrote it on the sidewalk in chalk. Oh, yeah. So, temporary graffiti.

Yeah, way to make your message last. And it was a good thing because I think if they had done a... It's a good thing they did a rough draft. Before they went for the big... Yeah, because I don't think this was the right choice of words. Gordon Campbell is the love baby of Richard Nixon and George W. Bush. Well, that doesn't make any sense. Yeah, I think what they meant was love child.

And not only that, I don't like... That's one of my most hated literary devices that people use. And they use it a lot in book reviews. And I don't know if I've talked... Have I talked about that on the podcast before? Where they're like, if Hunter S. Thompson and Kelvin Coolidge had a baby, and you're like, what the fuck is that? That analogy doesn't mean anything.

It wouldn't happen because only one of them has a uterus. But you know, if it was something like Dorothy Parker and such and such, and Richard Nixon had a baby, then you know, that's what it would be.

But don't you find that to be a lazy... And it seems Hunter S. Thompson is always the name that's used in that. If Hunter S. Thompson went on an acid trip and played with the Blue Man Group, you'd end up with Steve Carell. And you're like, what the... What kind of crazy... The half-truth. Yeah, and you get that a lot.

You'd end up with How I Met Your Mother. Yeah, there's that kind of thing where like, How I Met Your Mother is Seinfeld meets Married With Children. You're like, those shouldn't ever meet because one was one thing and the other thing. Why can't it just be its own thing? Which is awesome. How I Met Your Mother is the finest.

It's one of the finer works on television. I've never watched an episode. It could just be its own thing, which is awesome. How I Met Your Mother is the finest. It's one of the finer works on television. I've never watched an episode. I've never watched an episode of that. I've watched a couple episodes of Two and a Half. But I hear there's a character from Vancouver. There's a character from Vancouver. The character, yeah, is a big Canucks fan.

What? Yeah. There's probably a writer on the show from. I think the actress actually is. Oh. Colby Smulders. Colby Smulders. Call me if i'm getting that wrong call me smothers do you have an overheard honey yeah i uh on victor this past weekend in canada

or bc i guess is it all across canada Victoria Day? No. I don't know. Well, if it is, congratulations. If it's not, my condolences. It's, I think, a civic holiday. Yeah, okay. So we had Victoria Day. It's May long weekend. The May 2-4. It's not.

That's this weekend. But I'm going to drink a 2-4 anyways. Am I right? Are you right? I don't know. Are you right? But here's a... I watched the Victoria Day Parade. Victoria Day is in celebration of Queen Victoria, who is our fattest queen.

Sure. She was our saddest queen. She was our saddest and fattest of queens. I think she was a widow for more than half of her life. Yeah, and then died from a black widow pie that she ate. A spider pie? Yeah, a spider pie. I heard she died from parkour.

Yeah, she died performing parkour. She was the first of the parkour artists. That's why... Except back then it was just rolling down a set of stairs after eating spider pie. She died on her first attempt. But I watched the Victoria Day Parade from Victoria, British Columbia,

and it was easily the lowest budget affair that I've ever watched, ever. Like, it was a parade, but it was the type of parade where a float was a car that had put balloons on it that said you know and they're like oh it's you know cibc bank uh in their mini you know and that's that's all it was and there was a couple okay floats but the thing they had marching bands from the states i think america takes their marching bands very seriously i think they really put a lot they had like matching outfit it was basically like the mighty ducks like the the american teams were like the fancy matching costumes team and then in canada like everybody's kicking out of time and uh i think the guy that was leading the band like his baton

looked like it was stolen from his little sister. Well, you've seen Drumline. I haven't. Nick Cannon vehicle? I want to say Nick Cannon. I want to say it every time. I want to scream it from the mountaintops. But it was being commentated by two local Victoria television personalities that I don't know who they are,

but you could tell that they were only getting half information the whole time like the rest was misinformation from the other side so they'd be like oh uh coming up next we have uh four classic cars from the rotary club and then there would only be two cars and they'd be like oh it's only two cars and the guy and the girl you could tell that they didn't really, they weren't communicating ahead of time or coming up with any banter. And my favorite bit of, like, because they just got all this time fill. That's the thing about parade narration. You just got gobs and gobs of time fill.

You just got to talk and talk and talk. And usually it's on a solid shot of one float. And you're like, oh, there's the Weyerhaeuser tree float. They're having a lot of fun. You know, they go, look, look, hey, there's a clown. And then you're going to talk about clowns. Oh, I wonder what he'll be doing after the parade. I've never watched a parade.

On TV? Yeah. Oh, it's great fun. Even the Macy's parade, which is the big budget one. Too boring. Too boring. But that's... I like watching it. I could actually do without even seeing it.

I like hearing the commentary. Because it's like an exhaustion contest. And they just keep talking till the end of the parade. And my favorite... My overheard was from watching that parade is at one point, it wasn't even a float. It was just a taxi cab representing this Victoria taxi cab company. And the guy goes, this is him trying to stretch it.

He goes, ah, Victoria cabs. The first cab company in Victoria to offer debit in their cabs. And then the co-host goes, oh, really? And you can hear this exhausted Timber in his voice. He goes, yeah. Like he was hoping she would take the ball and run with it. And Drew's just like, yeah, really? But that's the only fact.

Sometimes that's convenient because that's all you have. Sometimes you don't want to use your credit card because of the interest fees. See, but even if she had done that, it would have been more than just, really? Yeah. Hey, we do this podcast. Oh, and there's a parade happening outdoors. We should say that. We're podcasting over a parade.

This is us filling time. I was thinking, why haven't we been asked to do at least a parade? Well, I mean, the gay pride parade's in the summer. We could probably do something for that. Sure. Yeah, why not? But I want to be asked. I don't want to just show up. I don't, why not? But I want to be asked I don't want to just show up

I don't want to be like I want to get paid Canada's not a huge parade culture I need to get parade I got to get parade We're not a huge parade people America's big on them I think the Italians love them

I don't know why The Spaniards love them especially with bulls or the ones with the uh with with the tomatoes oh the tomatillo or whatever it's called no i think you're way off you know it's uh i haven't seen for a long time as in ever ticker tape parade i mean either yeah well that's probably because we don't use ticker tape anymore. Yeah, it's digital now. So what would you do now? Just, oh!

Like shredded files. That would be a thing. What's a big company that shreds files? Iron Mountain? Yeah, Iron Mountain presents the environmentally unfriendly Shaved Documents Parade. And then you can have all sorts of office themes.

Hey, it's the Dilbert float! Oh, what's Dilbert? He's gotta have a conference. Why, uh... That's, that's me doing an impression of the commentators. Forgive me if this is a bad, hacky stand-up premise. I'm listening. Why is confetti an Italian word?

I don't know. I don't know. All right. Yeah. It's not a bad premise, though. Write in if you think it's a horrible premise. We've got an email address. It's stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com.

We had someone write in with an overheard this week yeah what you got we hey we've had plenty but i only take the best of the best cream of the crap i sound like i said cream of the crap yeah oh well uh hey graham and dave this is zach from north carolina i'm a senior at a public high school which gives a lot of opportunities for overheards a few weeks ago i passed a teacher and a student in the hallway. It was in the middle of class, so it was clear he was in some sort of trouble. Student, it's like you're always ganging up on me. Teacher, Jamal, you were throwing gummy bears again.

Jamal. Jamal. again. Jamal. Wasn't there a character named Jamal in some television show? Besides Malcolm Jamal Warner. Or was Theo. Are you thinking of

Ghost Rider? I'm always thinking of Ghost Rider. It's my Achilles heel. What else we got in the overheard department we gotta thank you for that one zach from north carolina isn't that where zach galvanakis is from yeah maybe it was him do you think that that's a popular name in north carolina zachary zachariah zachariah zachariah zachariah zachariah is it uh i think it might be like uh biblical like Jebediah and Obadiah. There's no...

What do you shorten Obadiah to? Obi. Obi. Obi Trice. You know, like Obi Trice. Like Obi Trice. Here are some overheards. Help me, Obi Trice.

You're my only hope. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Matthew from Vancouver. So I have an overheard for you guys. As other Vancouverites will know, and as you will know, in some locations in Vancouver we have new public trash cans that have built-in trash compactors powered by solar panels on top. And the other day I was walking down Canby Street,

and I saw a couple, and the fellow of the couple said to his lady, upon seeing one of these trash cans, man, what a waste of solar power. But, of course, it isn't really a waste because solar power is virtually infinite. Also, I voted today in the B.C. election, and I was delighted to see Graham Clark's name on the ballot, even though I did not vote for him. What? Love the show, guys. Thanks a lot.

That shit's outrageous. And he acknowledges that it was the correct Graham Clark, not just some guy named Graham Clark. You were saying you haven't seen the solar-powered trash compactors. That's right. I gotta side with that guy. It is a waste of solar power.

I know that there's no waste in it, but... Although I hear that the solar panels are expensive to make, and the amount of energy they'll make in the course of their lifetime doesn't come close to what it costs. Is that true? Yeah. Here's the thing. I don't understand why it needs to be compacted.

It never goes. I've never seen it compact anything. I think they're all broken because people keep throwing stones in there they only put them up on Cambie Street because Cambie was like decimated by all this construction

and then when they reopened Cambie Street they're like hey now we're gonna put you 10 steps ahead and give you future garbage you're welcome Cambie Street hey guys this is Shea calling from Naples Florida with an overheard ahead and give you future garbage. You're welcome, Camby Street. Here's another. Hey, guys. This is Shea calling from Naples, Florida with an overheard for you.

I work at a coffee shop here in Naples called Bayshore Coffee Company, and there is a fellow who comes in every morning, and he almost always has one of these Columbia Safari hats. He's got to be 6'4", 250 pounds. And this is a very manly chap, and he comes in every morning and orders a flowering fruit herb tea for which I give him hell.

And this morning, I was walking by his table, and I heard him say four words, and they were double fist my ass. Yeah, so I thought that was funny. Bye guys. Is that what the name of the tea is? And that's how you order it? Like give me a double fist

of the my ass coffee? He said it was four words but I think double fist is hyphenated. And you know, if my ass was a name of somebody, it's only two words then really if he's hyphenated. Maybe he was talking about Mayans. Yeah.

The Mayan calendar. Double-fist Mayans. Yeah. What, do you think we squirreled our way out of that? What was he from? Naples, Florida? Yeah. Sounds Italian.

Napoli. Ask them about their confetti. Yo, dudes. It's Patio from Niagara Falls. What? Patio's not my real name. No shit. But that's what my parents call me, so maybe it is.

Anyways, just recently stumbled onto the podcast, randomly enjoying it. And also just recently moved to Toronto, literally three days ago. And being aware of listening to what's going on around me been dying for an overheard and i got one today it's with my girlfriend at young and dundas square crossing the street there was two ladies probably in their late 30s or early 40s standing in front of us and all i heard was one say to the other if if he met if he's still married to his cousin and the other replied yes and the one then replied I think that's gross anyways take it easy it's been a quickie divorce it would

have been less gross the fact that they maintained a commitment to each other. Ew. Yeah. That dude's name was Patio. Yeah, thanks, Patio. Chill out, buddy. You know what? He seems to me to be a guy that would be like a good guy to have at a summertime barbecue.

Patio, we're going to hang out. Boo. No? Patio on the patio? I didn't say that. Dad wasn't even going there, and then all of a sudden you ruined it. Oh, I ruined it. Do you think his parents actually call him Patio?

Yeah, but his name's probably Pat. Oh, so they're like, Pat, Pat, Patio. Oh, so it's not like he really likes that song, Patio Lanterns, by Kim Mitchell. He probably does, yeah. Yeah. Who doesn't? Speaking of summertime. You know,

Kim Mitchell, that song by Kim Mitchell is probably the most confusing premise for a song. Patio Lanterns? No, might as well go for a soda. What's that about? Do you know that song? Yeah, might as well go for a soda.

Nobody hurts. Nobody cries. Yeah. Might as well go for a soda. Nobody hurts. Nobody cries. Yeah. Might as well go for a soda. Nobody drowns. Nobody dies. Is that based on a thing that he didn't go for a soda? Somebody died?

He murdered somebody? It's better than slander. It's better than lies. What do you think? He's covering a lot of bases there in what soda would be better than. Well, the point is you might as well. But it's not better than tooth decay, right? Yes, it is.

Which soda causes. Well, I'm... See, he doesn't touch on the negatives of soda. Yes, going for a soda prevents slander. We all know that. It prevents lying. It prevents a lot of drowning. More or less, people would die of drowning.

You'll lie to your dentist. Oh, yeah, that's true. You've been drinking soda? One. I had one soda. It doesn't prevent lying. I didn't even go for it. And also, well, I guess it would prevent drowning if you have more CO2 bubbles in your system.

You might float. But still, doesn't he say it's better than a sweater, too? He says nobody drowns. Someone's going to drown. He says somebody might as well go for a show it's better than a sweater, too? He says nobody drowns. Someone's going to drown. He says somebody might as well go for a show that's better than a sweater. Is that one of the lines in it? You know, I'm not the Kim Mitchell aficionado I once was. Oh, well, that's not what your wiki page says.

Although I do read Kim Mitchell aficionado magazine. A couple episodes ago. Yeah, I would say like three episodes ago. Yeah, we were talking about proms, grads, homecoming, Sadie Hawkins days. And we were talking about bad experiences at high school dances. Yeah, and we, whoever was here, it was... Paul, I want to say. Yeah, Paul Meyerhug.

We were discussing we all had bad experience at our grad dance slash prom did you have any other bad experiences at any other dances or something something hazardous happened something weird happened uh no i don't i mean nothing really sticks out uh that i you know this is probably where my hatred of dancing comes from it's from the from the dances yeah really well there were no they were never good i was more of an obligation um did you ever go to dances with somebody or did you go stag and just hope to pick up some ladies um from geometry class yeah and I had a prom date, but I think every other dance, everyone pretty much went

stag. Yeah, that's true. There was always the stalwart couples. Yeah, but that was... I don't know if they even showed up together. It was just... It went unspoken. Yeah, but during slow dance time, that's when really you separated the wheat from the chafe, right?

I think it's chaff. I'm pretty sure it's chaff. Oh, chaps really you separated the uh wheat from the chafe right but those those stalwart i'm pretty sure it's chaff oh chaps you separated the week from the chaps uh but there was uh the stalwart couples they would always team up yeah for the slow dance and then everybody else got to stand around them kind of in awe yeah i remember there was one birthday party i went to and uh the guy it was in about grade uh nine and it was probably his 14th or 15th birthday and he had a girlfriend and they like it was really awkward they spent the whole time grinding oh wow like it was and everyone else was like did we just show up to watch this guy grind did i buy this guy's a copy of lives throwing copper just to watch him grind

uh yeah grinding all right i i probably have never ground um Really? I can't... I've never seen the appeal of it. That's because I've got a... Oh, sure, everybody's bumped. I've ridden my pony. I don't know what that means. All right, so we've got... We had some people who sent in some stories about dances gone awry.

This one is from... Bobby. Bobby G. I think that's not his real last name, but I don't want to take any chances. Sure. Hiya, guys. It's Bobby and Kate from Illinois.

I, Bobby, have a horrible dance story. It was not my prom. It was a homecoming dance, which we don't have in Canada. We don't come home. We go for sodas. We are home. When you're here, you're family.

Is that the keg? I'll see you tonight. Olive Garden. The homecoming dance is a dance towards the beginning of the school year. I was not planning on going, but three days before, some friends of a girl i had a crush on asked me to ask her to go she had a boyfriend but he could not go because he was at least 10 years older than both of us that was a thing yes oh that was a big thing in high school lots of uh okay i went to her house to pick her up and her mom obviously liked me much more than her current

boyfriend and was talking me up which would have been good if it had not started an argument between them, which I got to uncomfortably listen to. We went to dinner. We almost got into a car crash on the way there with her friends who did not know me and were not interested in getting to know me. When we got to the dance, my first high school dance, by the way, she spent half the time on the phone with her boyfriend. in getting to know me. When we got to the dance, my first high school dance, by the way, she spent half the time on the phone with her boyfriend.

Apparently, he had not signed off on her going with someone else, so now there was a chance a crazy 28-year-old might show up. After the dance, we went to one of her friends' houses, and as we were getting out of the car, she burst into tears.

I hugged her as she cried, and soon she got back on the phone, leaving me to go into the house full of people I did not know. As I dropped her off at her house later that night, I assured her that she had not ruined the night, and I proceeded to never talk to her again. Later

that year, I found out that she broke up with her much older boyfriend, yay, and was now dating a 35-year-old. Boo. Moving on. That was a thing. The girls who had... There were never guys who had older girlfriends.

No. Because there's zero appeal for a woman. Yeah. Unless she's really into a guy that's smooth. But can you imagine being this 28 year old guy you and I are both 28 I believe and being

crazy jealous that she's going to her high school dance with a high school kid. They're probably at Earl's right now. Oh if they get the combo plate, that's our plate. Her mom probably gave her 20 bucks. We could use that to buy cigarettes.

But thank you very much, Bobby G. And I assume that Bobby and Kate, they ended up together. Oh, read the very end here. Okay, here we go. I can look back at all of that and laugh because

now Kate and I have been together for almost four years and counting. Kudos. That's delightful. You know what? When you guys hear this podcast, I compel ye to do a slow dance in your living room together. Yeah, grind.

What are those commercials? What's the name of that company? The matchmaking website? Lava Life? No, not the slutty one. The one that's supposed to be all endearing. That has the actors that open the store together. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do the actor store thing. Yeah, yeah, do that. They're a great looking couple. She's an artist. He's got a v-neck. That's what I'm picturing you guys look like. You guys own your own store together, and you danced. You were covered in mud and clay until four in the morning.

You're doing that scene from Ghost. We have another dance story. This is from Abby's Aunt Sheila. Oh, love her. Hello, David and Graham. It's Abby's Aunt Sheila calling, and I have a graduation story for you. It's not my own, but it has been verified by a second party who was also in attendance at the event. Now, it takes place in Stockholm, circa 1990,

at a very Catholic high school where all of the staff are nuns. And at all of the other high school celebrations in Stockholm, it is something kids look forward to their entire lives. They get shit-faced drunk, they wear these little white captain's hats on their heads, and they parade around in the back of flatbed trucks through the streets of downtown Stockholm. Huge piss-up party. At this particular school, the nuns decided there was going to be none of this shenaniganry and put the kibosh on everything fun. They selected the music.

No one was allowed to come on a date, and there was dress codes, the whole thing. Now, my friend, who is a real zinger kind of guy, decided that he would order in a Turkish organ grinder with monkey and 100 pepperoni pizzas to the event. And I guess it was a moment to remember for everyone. All right. Take care. Love the podcast. You guys are doing great. We love you. Keep up the good everyone. All right. Take care. Love the podcast. You guys are doing great.

We love you. Keep up the good work. Go and take care of both of you. You know what's... So everybody in Sweden dresses up like Tan-Tan to go to the dance. Yeah, I went... Gets drunk and does the Tan-Tan. That's the big dance over there.

I went to Sweden a couple years ago, and there are some... Like, it's weird going to Europe, and the traditions are still there. Yeah. Like, we went for midsommers, which is the longest day of the year, and it's Sweden, and so the sun goes down at midnight and comes up at four in the morning, because it's so far up north. And I remember we... Everyone drank schnapps.

Yeah. Did shots of schnapps put on their clogs is that sweden uh i think they do that in sweden and dance around a maypole but we didn't dance around the maypole we uh said that's what you meant when they meant school dance it was around a maypole well no that's implied uh but yeah there were these like poem songs that we had to sing and i it's a weird language you can't pronounce it on site so that's we were the hit um thanks a lot for sending that in that was a real treat yeah yeah and i like i think uh a nice offshoot of this prom story is uh or these prom stories maybe like a future issue that people could wade into is, because I like the

I really like the Bobby and Kate thing and you know that I was trying to wheel this girl or this guy and it went horribly awry. I kind of am interested in those stories where you thought it was the one and then you got

the dust off. Have you ever had that before? No. No? Really? I'm not reliable enough to wheel around anyone. No, you not wheel around. You said? No, you were trying to wheel somebody. Not wheel somebody.

I don't get the difference. You're thinking of somebody who's infirmed in a wheelchair. Yeah. Wheel in my vernacular would be you're trying to get them to like you. Oh, I've never heard that. Like it's a shortened form of wheel and deal.

That exists. To wheel and deal someone? Yes. To get them to like you. Or to get them on your side to do something that you want them to do in this case like you finger inserted in okay side yeah if you know what i'm saying i know what you're saying okay yeah so send those in uh stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com that's never happened to you where you've tried to you've tried to get a a lady interested and it just fell apart at the seams never had that you seem to have something

in mind oh i most definitely it's happening to me would you want to talk about it i had a big crush on a girl in uh in the junior high and she played on the volleyball team, co-ed. And so I joined the volleyball team specifically to try. She actually had a boyfriend, an inter-junior high boyfriend. That's not allowed. Well, not in my mind. It was very one-tree hill. You wanted easy access.

Yeah. But then I was on the volleyball team. I couldn't get out of the volleyball team. I hate volleyball more than any other sport on earth. Why? There's no running. No, I just don't like it. Your wrists are not, I don't know.

They're not meant to be used as a weapon against balls. But yeah, anyways, I got somebody to ask her, hey, would you be interested? And this was after being on the volleyball team and hating it for months. And then I got the word back, oh no, she's been seeing a guy for a year. Would you be interested in quitting the volleyball team with Graham? Would you be interested in spending the time that you would spend playing volleyball, playing some sort of video game volleyball at his house. Super Spike V-Ball?

Super Spike V-Ball. It was a beach volleyball game. That's right. So stories like that, I'm interested. I mean, because the prom date thing made me think of that. There must be some colossal failures in the love department. I don't think so. You didn't? No, no, no.. I don't think so. You didn't?

No, I think in general, yeah. You think everybody, first time out, they just land success? Knock it out of the park, yeah. Really? I disagree. Prove us wrong, audience. We got a like Dave was saying, we got stoppodcastyourselfatgmail.com and a phone number, 206-339-8328.

Oh, no. I don't understand what happened there. Okay. That was a tense moment. It was like the Bay of Pigs. BOP. We got one more thing we want to talk about is neighborhood nicknames. Play the theme song.

These are the people in your neighborhood. What in your neighborhood? Who in your neighborhood? Ha! Did you know that I had that just ready to go in my head? But you know that's a song already, right? What? By who? Sub sublime i think it's my supply did i ever tell you um there's a new radio station in vancouver and there is yeah what

100.5 the peak they're new newish do you think they're gonna have a float in the next victoria day parade well i know that their their um that their tagline is Vancouver's newest radio station. That can't last. I hope you didn't put that on the business cards. But they have this lady on there. I don't know if it's always the same lady, but she said some dumb things. Laura Schlesinger? Yeah, I think so.

No, she was talking about, she played a song by the Flaming Lips. And she said, at that point, Oklahoma had made Do You Realize by the Flaming Lips their official rock song. Oh, really? Yeah. Okay. And she was talking about, hey, what do you, she was asking the listener, what do you guys think BC's official rock song should be? I think it should probably be something by Sublime. What?

I know. I mean, Oklahoma, like, the Flaming Lips are from Oklahoma. Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't just a random choice. Unfortunately, the answer would probably be something by Nickelback. Yeah. Because that's the S from here.

I don't know. Maybe Brian Adams. Is he from here? Yep. Run to you? A lot of people here like the fun run. That's what I'm thinking. Oh yeah. I'm gonna run to you something something something something something else.

I don't know any of the lyrics to any of his songs. I just realized that right now. The line you were looking for was Oh yeah, run to you. What would be BC's official song? Something by Starkicker? Yeah, but

it would end up being something by Nickelback. Oh well. Nuts. Every vote counts. You know what it'd be hero no want to be a rock star no this photograph did we mention that the uh how terrible nickelback is um we've mentioned it in the past oh yeah because they were on the juno they're also big listeners of the podcast so hi back oh no no they're really big fans but with that do they know that we're bad mouthing them yeah no they think it's fun okay because

what they do is every time that we bad mouth them they throw a million dollars at a poor person the poor person isn't allowed to keep it oh do you know like that's me you know what i don't like i like that kanye west is rich and dresses crazy i don't like that nickelback is rich and dresses like the guy that works at burger king but the guy that works at burger king but how he would dress if he wasted a hundred dollars on a t-shirt yeah like but i don't i don't appreciate that like i won't i want my i Like, I'm mostly anti-Lady Gaga, except that I do like that I've never seen her in the same outfit twice. And all of her outfits are crazy. Yeah.

So I appreciate that. You've probably never seen Nickelback in the same outfit twice, but all their outfits are the same. Well, yeah. I don't like people who are uber rich who are still trying to cultivate the good old boy. Yeah. The Bon Jovies, the Bruce Springsteens. Although I do like Bruce Springsteen. uber rich who are still trying to cultivate the good old boy yeah the bon jovis the bruce springsteen's although i do like bruce springsteen i think he spends most of his fashion money on curl activator curls activate some vo5 hot oil some john frida's frizzies um okay neighborhood

nicknames do we have a theme song for that? I just sang it. I really don't want to do that one. I want to have something original from the heart. If only we had a guest. Damn it. You want me to sing something from From Evita. From the heart. Okay.

Who's that guy carrying the flag Every day What do you call him Flag Pete, Flag Frank You don't know his name So you made up a name Yeah

It's good, I envision horns Yeah, I think it's going to be great Something very buble Okay, Ben writes in Oh yeah, so these are people you see in your neighborhood Who you've given a nickname And they don't know about it Yeah

People you don't know, but you see You don't know who they are That you've attributed kind of the one thing you know about them By seeing them You've given them negative... For example, there's a guy that drives around on a razor kind of old man scooter.

He patrols around the neighborhood. I call him Patrolman Pete. We've got the Cowboy Pimp. Cowboy Pimp. Stumbles. Stumbles. Have we already done some on the show or we've just been cultivating i think we've just been cultivating okay great because we've got

some excellent because we did the live show uh ben g writes in uh i call the guy who lives across the street from me white shirt guy even though i know his name i call him this because i always see him working in his yard mowing the the lawn, gardening, pick weeds, etc. Wearing a white dress shirt that you would probably wear under a suit or something. Apparently he's an architect and Hispanic. So that might have something to do with it. Well, that makes no sense at all, Benji. Although you might wear an old white shirt if you didn't have to wear it uh um you know like a like a worn out white shirt

like like a lady might wear it to dye her hair and it's one of my favorite old man things where you'll see an old man doing chores dressed better than most people would dress to go to a job interview. Yeah. Sarah N. writes, In my neighborhood, which is in a Sydney suburb, I often see a lady about 30. She often looks really strung out and her hair is always matted and gross. Like in that Everlast song. She always wears bras that, through the course of her walking, allow her breasts to come completely free. It's a slow-release bra. Yeah.

It dissolves. It's a gel cap. It's a gel cap. Now we know she must wear bras because we can see the strap, but you can tell that her boobs have come completely free of their cages at a certain point sometimes you see her walking and they haven't come free yet they are just protruding she doesn't do anything about it either she just keeps on walking like no one is staring at her she also wears this purple sweater that doesn't do much for her either. Anyway, I call her Mammogram Mystery.

Because she is a mystery to me. I like that because there's plenty of boob jokes you could make. Mammogram Mystery. And that's the one she picked. That's really good. I like to think that she's just wearing bra straps. And she's not, there is no cups involved at all. Like all saints.

Yeah, like she just likes the way that it looks when bra straps come out of the shirt, so that's all she wears. Do you want to read one? I sure do. All right, this is from Brandy K. I live in a very eccentric blue-collar neighborhood of Baltimore, so there are a good pick of neighborhood folk for which we have secret nicknames, including many beggars, notably a bum who works a major intersection. He has a gross leg

wound that he prominently displays, even rolling up his pant leg in below-freezing weather. We call him Creepy Leg Wound Guy. Not bad. My favorite, though, is an elderly African-American woman who hangs out at the bus stop with a giant sandwich board sign proclaiming,

Jesus is coming, repent, repent. She never talks, just kind of hangs out holding the sign and moving to different bus stops throughout the day. She never gives any sort of preaches. She actually looks like a bored employee of a sandwich shop who got stuck with street duty for the day. Of course, we call her Repent Lady. Sometimes to myself, I call her Lady of the Repent, and then I giggle. It's not bad. Yeah, I like Creepy Leg Wound Guy.

Yeah, so he's always showing it off. Yeah, I dig it. It's like a story from Sicko. It's something to tell you about America's... See me underbelly. Yeah, the healthcare system. Oh. I was way off. Sure.

I thought you meant gummo. Alright, we got a few people called in. And please do call in and spare yourself the pain of hearing us read your overheards or your... And if you do write in, keep it to three sentences or less. Yeah, we're bad readers. It's not read aloud time.

I kept averting Dave's eye so he wouldn't pick me to read. Hey, Graham and Dave. This is Cracksworth. I'm calling from my nation's capital of Washington, D.C. And I don't have any nicknames for anybody in my neighborhood, but my friends and I go to a bar quite often. And we've come up with some nicknames that I'm going to read to you in no particular order. Compassionate Confederate, Tim the Toolman Taylor, Hollywood, that's a self-given nickname,

Mr. Potato Head, Michael McDonald, Professor Croc, who is also known as Not Phil Collins, The Soprano, which is a a dude chicago which is a lady cowboy troy our classy blonde the eye smasher and tony tilka oh eye smasher um thanks cracksworth that's great when now she's had michael mcdonald in there uh-huh and also not phil collins michael mcdonald in the states has a different meaning, I think, than it does in Canada. Oh, yeah, but you know what she means. She means the singer. Yeah.

But in Canada, if you said Michael McDonald... Because he's the guy that sings in that very specific... Timber, right? But up in Canada, if you said Michael McDonald might not get yeah there's a stand up comedian he's a legend been at every Just for Laughs

oh really yeah every single one that's his that's his main kind of claim to fame sure sure sure

sure I mean he's no Michael McDonald but he's Michael McDonald good morning Garm and Durv. This is Nate Cohen from New York City. This guy. With a very short story about what I think is probably the best homeless nickname.

Not necessarily. I've ever encountered. It was on the campus of Penn State University. This one guy's primary quirk was that he always wore two baseball caps, one on top of the other. I like that so much. The primary quirk was that he always wore two baseball caps, one on top of the other. And so he was known pretty universally around this campus as Dos Sombreros. He was not this kind of guy at all. I was going to say Du Chapeau. So Dos Sombreros, right in the same wheelhouse.

We had a... At UVic, we had a homeless guy on campus, but he was, like, smart. Like, there were rumors about him. This was a homeless guy? Yeah. Wait a minute. Did you go to the campus where Joe Pesci was in attendance? We never gave him a nickname, but I always thought about with honors.

Do you know what the best nation on earth is, Dave? donation yeah that's from that movie look it up i may be a bum sir but i'm a harvard bum yeah read a book and i by that i mean a novelization of with on take that moira kelly who's got the cutting edge now donation hey david Hey, David Grimm. It is Guardo from the Hotcakes podcast, hotcakes.com, or hotcakespodcast.com, rather. And I have a nickname for a person in my neighborhood. My wife and I refer to her as Sports Bra. She's probably about 250 pounds. And when it becomes, oh, I'd say anywhere over 12 degrees out,

she's in her sports bra screaming at her kids from the porch. That is all. Well, you want the support when you're screaming at your kids. Yeah, you know who she needs

to meet, mammogram mystery. As you get together for a play date. Wow. Man, oh man. So, please continue to send in... We have another one? Oh, great. Man, oh man. So, please continue to send in

We have another one? Oh, great. Sorry. Jump the gun. They should call me Jump the Gun. Hey there, Dave and Graham. I have a nickname for a neighborhood guy who has a really

bad case of Tourette's and is a very common feature around the Broadway and Alma area, also in Vancouver. We called him the Van-bassador because he's just so friendly. One time I was bringing flowers. I bought some flowers for my wife, and I walked past him, and he said, fucking flowers you fucking cunt.

And that was that. So he earned the Van Bastider nickname after that. Anyway, love the show. Take care. The Van Bastider. Not too bad. So yeah, if anybody else has the Van Bastider just give him a red hat.

So then he makes his in with those. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like the downtown ambassadors. The red squads. I heard they're getting rid of those. Really? Or maybe they already have. Is it the Hells Angels are kicking them out?

Yeah. They're a rival gang? They run this town. Yeah, because it was, for a long time, there was a turf war between the Vancouver ambassadors and the AHA. Anybody who wants to send in, and they don't have to be homeless people. I assume that a lot of the time the homeless people are going to be the most colorful of the neighborhood characters, but not always the case.

But these are the people in your neighborhood, 206-339-8328. Now let us know. And also let us know about these, any attempt that you made, man or woman, try and land that person in your dreams. You know, to wheel someone. You know. Yeah. Like my wheel made no deal.

You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Annette Funicello. She gets wheeled all the time. She's still alive. If she is, she's getting wheeled. She's a big fan of the podcast. Oh, God.

She does. She listens to it. Her, Frankie Avalon. Sure. Vidal Sassoon. What? I was going to say, Frank. I can't remember what I was going to say.

I don't know where the trajectory went from the Beach Blanket Bingo folks to Vidal Sassoon. I don't know. I'm just listing off people who listen to the podcast. There is no trajectory. It's just people who are fans. Vidal Sassoon. Michael Eisner. Terrence Howard. I'm giving you such a stink eye.

I don't know why. I'm just trying my best. Yeah, well, try harder. I'm trying to do what Robin Williams does, where you just say random things. Oh, I'm now the son of the gentleman. Oh my, look at all these carrots. See? And then everybody in the audience is like,

Yeah! I guess so! There are carrots in the south! Rob Williams is a saint. I've met him. He's delightful. He does make it look easy. But a lot of the times, I don't know, I can't. He talks too fast for my

hearing holes. The important thing is that he's talking. I don't know what that means. It's about momentum. Yeah, momentum. What else? Do we have anything else? Do we have any other ground to cover? No.

No? We're doing all right? Yeah. Let's wrap this up with a nice little blow. Yeah, with what? A blow. A blow. It's like a boy.

It's like a little bow-wow, but shrunk by blood. Oh, man. I burfed in the middle of the word. I'm sorry. You got gas. It's a a little bow wow, but shrunk by blood. Oh, man, I burfed in the middle of a word. I'm sorry. You got gas. It's a Wednesday night. We're not used to doing it on a Wednesday night. Yeah, that's the problem.

What? What are you saying? Thanks, listeners, for your continued support. Please send us your local favorites, your overheards, your prom stories favorites, your overheards, your prom stories to StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com or 206

339 A328 And also Dave each and every week does a crackerjack job of putting together a blog that highlights all the greatest components of every podcast and that is at StopPodcastingYourself.blogspot.com.

And we have a website on the way. It's going to come one of these days. I don't think we should talk about it anymore. It is coming in on the slow boat. I think our guy has stopped replying to emails. Do you think he stopped computing himself for us? Maybe I should just start making a website on... Oh yeah, with your skills.

Yeah, with my eSolutions. Because I bought that box of eSolutions and I don't know what to do with them. It's mostly confetti. Yeah, well it's packaged in confetti. But yeah, please tune in again. Wow, where are my marbles?

What happened to me? You don't tune into this, Tune in. Where are my marbles? What happened to me? You don't tune into this. You download it. Yeah, please download us. Join us next week for more episode of Stop Podcasting Your Plot. Yes, but please do tell your friends.

No, I don't know what that was that you just did there. They weren't words, though. But do please come back again for another enthralling edition of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Stop podcrunching yourself.