Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 643 - Amanda Brooke Perrin

Episode Date: July 14, 2020

Comedian and writer Amanda Brooke Perrin returns to talk pop songs, Lego, and Graham’s new park chair. Then Erotic Thriller Month continues with Unfaithful. Plus, it’s week 1 of MaxFunDrive 2020. Support the show at maximumfun.org/join.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 643 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me for the MaxFunDrive episode 1 is Mr. Dave Shumka. Yes, it's episode 1 of the MaxFunDrive. This is the FunDrive where we ask you to support the show. You go to MaximumFun.org slash join. You do a funny voice because it's very hard for you to give

a real genuine salesman pitch. But, from the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for all the support you've given us. I'm doing a thing with my head, back and forth. Maximum Fun. And it sounds like you're being a bully. Okay, okay.

Guys, it's Maxim max fun drive time this show is 100 supported by listeners and uh yeah we we know there's a lot going on in the world we've postponed the max fun drive a couple times uh we'll give you some details on it a bit later in the show but right now we just want to let you know if you would like to support the show go to maximumfund.org join uh and our guest today a very hilarious uh comedian slash writer uh slash dog owner it's amanda brooke perrin that's the credit i like to hear that doesn't sound too far from a stage intro actually yeah she's got a dog and she's a woman welcome to the stage miranda crook sharon they get every every word rhymes but they get all the first parts wrong? It's intended.

I think it's a targeted thing. They have rhyme blindness? Yeah. Yeah. Hi, guys. Hi, Amanda. Do you want to get to know us? Yeah.

Get to know us. Amanda. How are you? How are you down there? down there oh my gosh i'm so good i'm cooking right i mean i'm the opposite of cooking right in front of my air conditioner i'm freezing and uh you know you know you know the united states you guys oh i know some of it yeah but i want to hear it from your twisted perspective from the twisted mind of jared lito and amanda rick baron now i noticed you had that tattoo on your forehead that says damaged yeah yeah yeah it's true ask me about it. You've got your own S-word squad. We're not allowed to say suicide.

Oh, we're not allowed. It's too edgy. Survival squad? There we go. Opposite. There it is. Yeah. So you, how long has it been since you've moved down to the States?

When was, what's the anniversary you're at here? It'll be in October four years. I moved here one month before that old bag of beans got elected. That's probably the nicest thing. I didn't know what else is. There's not much else people can say about him. No, he's a,

he's quite a bag of beans. He's sort of bad beans, though. Not good ones. Like a lima bean? Is that what we're talking about? What are your top beans? Oh, that's a good question. Baked.

Mexican jumping. Black bean. Garbanzo bean? Yeah, you can do so much with a Garbanzo bean? Yeah, you can do so much with a garbanzo bean. Yeah, yeah. I think it's a looked over bean, but it's here to stay. Garbanzo? It's a chickpea.

It's a chickpea. I don't think it's overlooked. Hey, Graham, you ever seen a chickpea? If you try to order garbanzo at any restaurant, they won't know what you're talking about. It's like trying to order eggplant in Britain. Theyain they're like oh you mean aubergine is it oh you mean like the movie god bedtime for garbanzo starring gar ronald reagan my parents used to always when it was bedtime they would say bedtime for bonzo yeah bedtime for Bonzo.

Yeah, Bedtime for Bonzo is a classic. Very cute. Never seen it. Never seen it. It's a Ronald Reagan and a monkey? And a monkey, yeah. And that, see, everybody thinks it's so crazy now, but imagine how crazy it was the first time around when an actor who acted with a chimp all of a sudden was their president.

That was a wild time is that where curious george got the inspiration from do you mean did you do you think he wrote autobiographies yeah did he did he originally write curious reagan i guess he yeah wait which one's the monkey you know what i mean yeah who's Bonzo in this situation um uh boy no I president Bonzo but I was born in the Reagan in Reagan times and it was I guess I was born before the year he was elected but not yeah but I didn't really know the Jimmy Carter times um but to me it was just like that's just what a president looks like. Yeah.

Yeah. It's, I mean, I guess he was, he was, you know, the camera loved him somewhat because he was an actor. But this was, this was his, his only option was to become the president. There's no, there's no roles for old men in Hollywood. We know that. Yeah. There's no roles for old men in hollywood we know that yeah there's no country for old men in hollywood yeah certainly not um amanda yeah you are you are working now primarily as a like a tv writer i'm a writer i don't really do stand-up anymore i haven't done stand-up in two years. Stand-up's lost, I say. See you in hell. The thought of doing a stand-up Zoom show

is enough to make my skeleton crawl out of my body. Yeah. Well, I do stand-up still, and it makes me want to climb out of my body. Oh, God, I'm so sorry, Graham. I was unaware. I take it back. Have you done any zoomies yet graham

i did by which i mean when you after you get out of the bath and you run around yeah i run around i scrape my butt on the floor i roll on my back good boy um yeah i did one and i immediately i was like this is not for me i don't like uh like i don't mind talking to one or two people but when there's a bunch of people that you don't know eating sandwiches everybody's eating a hoagie i'm the only one without a hoagie um yeah no it's not for me but i you know i'm sure people that are doing it love it somehow i don't know i i look the reason i kind of stopped doing stand-up is i uh couldn't really uh empathize with the audience like i didn't understand who would go just see blanket comedy at a club right

yeah any on a given night but i absolutely cannot understand who goes to watch a zoom comedy show goes goes to is the wrong word i actually lodge i have some logical questions do do you first of all you can see the audience correct and i have some you have some logical questions i have some scatological questions go great and then they're related to those beans can you hear them laughing or are they muted they're muted everybody has to mute because then if they didn't somebody sniffing is as loud as the person performing someone accidentally shares their screen. A PowerPoint. How do I leave Zoom?

Is there Google search? If you, you know, when you die in the afterlife, if you go and you find out this is the way that you can communicate with people on earth is only by a zoom call with a bunch of other people watching would you make that call to earth are you just like nah i'm good what's the rest of that of the afterlife like am i like in heaven experiencing non-stop ecstasy but i have like 15 minutes a day i can have a bad zoom call yeah it's it's like between 15 minutes and 45 minutes uh but you get you know you get a little something for it extra ecstasy unlimited i don't think i would make a call i think i'm good i think i've in the last three months i've done enough zooming for the rest of my life yes yeah like you've been doing a lot of zoom calls like for work i see i yeah i well and i just started and it's like seven hours in a writer's room

in a zoom uh adjacent program right and it's it's it's it's not it's not, it's not like, I'm not like obsessed with it or whatever. What's the opposite of being obsessed with? I'm not like unhinged in love with it. Well, that's fine. That's a fine way to be. How often are you guys on the zoom? Uh, this and then two or three, no one or two times for work i had to go to the office a couple times oh in this economy i'm i'm masked up yeah and i smoke in yes i'm masked up i uh i haven't i've never seen that movie so i don't know any

i know smoking uh so somebody stopped me yeah yeah somebody stopped me smoking uh the dog I've never seen that movie, so I don't know any. I know Smokin'. Somebody Stop Me? Yeah, yeah. Somebody Stop Me, Smokin'. The dog wears the mask at one point. Yes. Oh, fun. Very fun. Stanley Ipkiss. That's his name.

You do know a lot about him for never having seen him. Stanley Ipkiss is about to put his mask on a dog. That's why I know so much about it. Wait. Are you the guy? I don lafontaine the voice of stanley ipkiss was a nowhere go nowhere nobody and then he put his mask on a dog what happens next we'll blow your mask off cameron diaz is Stanley Ipkiss' girlfriend. Together, they're the mask.

Together, they're the mask. Yeah, that was Cameron Diaz's debut, right? Certainly her breakthrough. Yeah. Yeah, it was not like a substantial role, but she made what she could out of it and we all appreciated it that was because because now there are a there's a big trend of naming your little girl ryan like girls really with the name ryan oh girls with the name ryan yeah

and that because of the popularity of nolan ryan yeah Because of that time he beat up Robin Ventura and the, uh, but I, cause like it's a boy name generally, but it's, uh, it's quite trendy right now as a girl name. Uh,

but I never, Cameron never caught on as a girl name, did it? Uh, no, but I think I see Cameron more than i see ryan what's what's your take on this amanda you think ryan is a good name for a lady or is what about cameron do you feel good about cameron listen you could name your baby potato and i would think that you

did the greatest job parenting possible i don't know what the heck to do i named my dog moo and that was the best day of my life for a dog yeah that's a great name thank you where did uh where did moo come from moo came from thailand she was oh really yeah she was she had puppies in thailand and then they found her puppies before they found her and then i was told it was like a disney situation where they found her days later after a rainstorm walking through a meadow can you imagine oh my god she just abandoned her puppies no i think they she was going to look for food or something i would assume i created that narrative because I want to believe my dog is like a saint,

but I assume the narrative I created was that she abandoned them and she was fighting crime also and probably working several jobs. But she created that song. What would you do? Someone's at home crying on the bedroom floor because he's hungry and the only way to feed him is to sleep with a man for a little bit of money and your daddy's gone so we're smoking pot now internet lockdown i ain't got a job now so to you this is just a good time but for me this is my whole life what song's that it's like i no i i've heard it i just it doesn't i need you to get to the chorus

no that was that was the whole yeah oh no who's it by that's a good question what is the song about my dad dog called are you googling it right now what would you do if you're oh there we go okay i found it it's searching oh city high what would you do city high i don't know okay city high i mean that reminds me it sounds like the name of a tnbc show that ran between cal Dreams and Saved by the Bell, the new class. There was City Guys. And then what was the basketball one called?

Hang Time. On Saturday morning? Oh, Hang Time. Hang Time. City Guys. That was a good show. City Guys. Was that the one that had the hot dogs?

What was the one that had talking hot dogs on it? Do you know what I'm talking about no no there was like a it was set in new york and every once in a while it would cut to the like a puppet situation and then it would cut back to the regular teen show but it was like hot dogs in a hot dog cart i know i didn't dream this or do I? Let's think of some potential names. Was it called? Are you hot dogging to me? I'm hot dogging over here. Hot dog. Like you're calling a taxi.

Hot dog. Okay. Okay. That was a stretch. Yeah. why do i remember that anyways that song you were singing i was at a wedding and everybody that was the first time i ever heard it everybody on the dance floor sang along to it and i was the only one that didn't know the song so i just had to kind of like this is good this is good for me it tells a story remember the last time amanda was on the show uh somehow we ended up talking about the top musics on the billboard

chart top musics yeah and uh i tried to make you all sing them even though you had never heard of any of the songs or artists yeah and i was trying to listen to what whoever's in the top 10 on the charts right now and i think i've just reached the age where every song sounds the same like i think it's yeah it's a you just hit an age and the new music just sounds all the same to you it sounds like the same singer over and over again so like if you were if you were to um recall rain on me by lady gaga and ariana grande what would that sound like what would it sound like yeah it would sound yeah well that would sound distinctive because they both have distinctive voices but if you yeah but can you sing what would the lyrics sound like say oh the lyrics sorry, what was the name of the song again?

Just. Rain on me? Rain on me. Don't rain on me. Don't rain on me. Don't rain on me. Please rain on me.

Yeah. And Amanda, I know that you definitely know the song um oh boy uh what's popping by jack harlow featuring da baby oh yeah jory lane's and lil wayne yeah okay because that's the number two song okay pop pop pop what it's popping hot dog and speaking of da baby uh he has the number one song graham you know about this yeah this number one song is by da baby it's called rock star featuring roddy rich um this is a cover of the uh uh nickelback song uh it samples very heavily from it so he goes like what i'm gonna be i wanna be a rock star that's the that's the chorus okay he shouts it out to

chad kroger chad kroger yells it back yeah but it's and yet it's featuring Roddy Ricch and not Chad Kroger. Roddy Ricch. That's his pen name. That's his Chris Gaines name. Yes. Yeah. Thank you. And just one more. Amanda. Uh-huh. You know the song Roses. It's number five on the chart by

St. John, but that's St. John J.H.N. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. here it comes roses i'm smelling roses i wasn't sure what that sound was i thought that was you getting ready but i forgot that one of the lyrics is smelling into their microphones. It's really hard for them to pull off live because we're like, it just sounds like static to them.

Well, they get me, they put the microphone towards the audience and the audience all goes, I wonder what that would sound like getting a whole audience like that to sniff at the same time. Yeah. I think you should check out Bobby McFerrin's Ted talk. Oh man. yeah i think you should check out bobby mcfarren's ted talk oh man i don't think there's anybody in the world i would want to see more than bobby mcfarren on a ted talk stage have you seen it no is it is it amazing it's it's one of the like famous ones i think and does he show how to use your mouth or whatever to do stuff? Yeah, he, um, no, it's mostly, uh, just, uh, it's about baseball.

It's weird. Yeah. He's like, well, I was going to talk about my music, but now that I'm up here, I've decided to talk about baseball. No, it's like a lot of, it's audience participation and it's a lot of like your mind is musical even though you're on a like a uh total a level of your consciousness that you don't even understand you understand music i uh i don't think i understand music. I want to. You know, check out McFerrin, comma, Bobby. Writing it down.

What about Bobby? Bobby for a girl? That's a pretty good name. Yeah. Bobby works. Would it be with a Y or an I? That's up to the parents, you know? Or up to her when she gets older and maybe wants to change the spelling of it. Have you seen the movie Frankie and Johnny?

No. Oh. spelling of it have you seen uh the movie frankie and johnny no oh well i think it's al pacino and michelle pfeiffer and one of them's the one of them's gotta have one of those names unless frankie's one unless frankie's a hot dog yeah i remember it now there was hot dogs in the car and they were puppets so uh you're working on shows you're you're not doing the stand-up anymore you're knowing all the pop songs you're knowing all the pop songs pop songs you're do you like how has it been the staying inside all the time and everything like that how are you doing with the the current situation um i think it changes from day to day like i work from home a lot of the time so when it first started i'm like this isn't that different and then you walk outside and it's the saddest thing ever. And you're reminded. Because there's nobody there?

There are people there and everyone's in masks. You basically just have to wear a mask if you go outside in Los Angeles. I don't know what it's like in Vancouver. Only if you go indoors is what the advisement has been. And most people haven't been following that. Yeah, there's no rule. And people are like, a lot of people are treating it like it's over our numbers are very very low but and which i i think is why people are treating it like it's over but it's not yeah if you want to see what high numbers

look like come on over to sunny california where people are definitely treating it like it's over and there's a lot of like weird you know you've seen the videos of people going into Trader Joe's without a mask and getting kicked out. Yes this is a new favorite genre. One of those happened in North Hollywood. Really? Yeah.

We just had one in TNT supermarket here. Did we really? Yeah it's like these people have never seen one of these videos before they're like they have no awareness like oh are these this this has been done before and and i i'm the bad guy yeah and not only that that they think like oh they're filming me this is good this is good that i'm being yeah yeah i'm gonna be the next viral sensation yeah you call the cops i'll call the cops i'm gonna be on tiktok i don't know how to talk work have you ever gone on tiktok no it seems very overwhelming i get sent

a lot of tiktok videos by by my friends who are super into it. Right. I can't. By teenagers? By all my teen friends that I'm scared of. Yeah. Amanda's been hanging out with a lot of teens. Teens scare me so much. I know.

I saw a group of teens the other day, and they all had skateboards. Boys and girls. It was a whole skateboard gang. You could be anything in 2020 yeah and they they were walking towards me and i i moved off to the side i was like you teens rule i've i've had my day in the sun i'm gonna go i'm gonna walk away and let you guys all walk as a pack and uh did you ever try skateboarding yeah Yeah. Yeah. Were you good? Oh. No, I was very bad at it.

How about you, Amanda? Did you? Sorry. I just pictured you as a kid with the beard still. I couldn't not think that. I think I one time stepped on a skateboard in a Walmart and immediately fell to the ground. So. Walmart. That is where you want to get your skateboard.

Is that a Walmart? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gotta get that blue vest cred. I thought you were going to say a blues clues skateboard. No. Dave, did you ever skateboard?

No, I... I think I maybe i think i got one for my for christmas maybe when i was seven or something i was not coordinated enough to do it then yeah and then uh it really passed me by i never you still had the email skate daddy 69 at at what how at mail.com at how mail.com that's what it is in canada it has a u in it um i oh boy i was thinking about how i once when i worked at cbc and someone emailed me like a just try to set up a an interview with an artist uh they had an aol ad email address and i was like wow this person is not a serious publicist i'm not going to i'm not going to treat them seriously have we talked about our bad emails before like emails of

us past have we i definitely had crazy for swazy at hotmail.com and i like for some reason i was like oh let's let's collect emails but i never you don't need more than one i mean now you do to like yeah i have a work one and a personal one and like one for subscribing to things yeah i have the subscribing one that just is filled with junk mail. And actually, I think I have two of them. And then normal Gmail account. I don't think I have anything outside of... Do I have a Hotmail?

Yeah, I think I do. Because Hotmail used to be a thing. Yeah. I guess it still is. I still have my Hotmail from so long ago that i just like i'm signed up to like four things that i use hotmail as like my my uh id login login so i still just have it what did you have amanda i had hotmail but one specific email that i had uh was i really liked nsync as a teen and so my email was JCis4me at hotmail.com

which now I realize probably looks like Jesus Christ is for me. That's right. I wish I still had it. That's what it was short for in his name. He was Jesus Christ Chazay. Chazay.

JC Chazay. Yeah, JC Ch chazay is that chazay um um whatever happened to him he tried to go solo when justin did i didn't know justin did justin he did he do anything he's in the troll movie he's the troll yeah he plays branch in the trolls movie oh um but uh jc put out an album did anyone else have a solo album from nsync joy fatone joy fatone was in my big fat greek wedding and then became a game show host yeah he's a game show host and then lance bass went to space or he tried to he tried to what happened with that he he wasn't allowed to go at the final moment or or the flight didn't go that was right it was a big story for months it was like oh lance bass going to space finally in other news lance bass still going to space, we think. Yeah, who had Lance Bass in the pool?

Our petition was 200 strong. Let Lance Bass into space. I would sign it, for sure. We should bring that back. What if he still wants to go to space? We should do it even if he doesn't want to go to space. Lance, strap yourself in, Laika. maybe yeah lance strap yourself in like a no and then chris kirkpatrick just had kirkpatrick can get his ass kicked yeah that's true i heard

that wait he did m&m said that oh right it was an m&m right right i missed it um what yeah what happened to him he used to have uh dreads as a white man yeah yeah and they were they were black and white which i always that was a choice were they clip-ons oh my god what if they were because they weren't always black and white sometimes they were black yeah sometimes they were just his natural hair color but he definitely had like white just white ones for no reason yeah i mean when you're in a boy band there is no reason for anything no but and it feels bad bad because there were mark little past guest mark little had a great bit about has a great great bit about boy band i love that bit and how there's always always like back in my day,

because he's talking about One Direction and how all of them are handsome. And back in my day, here comes Chris. Or sounds like Chris Kirkpatrick. Or Howie. Or Howie. But yeah, do you think that the,

like the people who are surrounding them just know that he's that guy and so they just didn't help him like yeah they were like he's just gonna drag us down we just save yourself kind of thing just let him have the white dreadlocks man we can't help him

yeah no like no one's holding up signs with his name on it yeah I don't think that was a thing no one had ck is for me uh oh that would have been name on yeah i don't think that was a thing no one had ck is for me i would have been troubling now too oh yeah i thought you meant calvin klein and i was like i was like jesus christ jesus christ jesus christ jesus christ did you uh did you go to an NSYNC concert while you were

you better believe it did i cry during god must have spent a little more time on you certainly certainly i did who did you go with i don't even remember i wept i wept during that song it was like he was singing directly to me i honestly don't remember who i went with because it was such an emotional experience right it was just it was all about you it was all about me and jc and like uh why jc was was there ever like a bit a moment where you're like just Justin's everyone likes Justin. I want to be different. I probably I was definitely maybe I still am that person. I'm like, I don't know. Everyone's going for him.

I guess I'll go with this other guy. Yeah, because I might get I might have more of a chance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe that's just like the former fat kid in me just being like, it's OK. I'll eat whatever you're not eating. You guys are getting full adjusted i'll have some there's a big bowl of jc over here um i was just thinking like that so boy bands are very much for younger gals. But then a group like Spice Girls, that's not for younger boys.

That's also for younger gals. I mean, some boys were into it. And older boys. And older boys. But you know, I couldn't like, would I have gone as a teen to go watch the Spice Girls? Sure, maybe. So much has changed now. Gender's

fluid, man. And B2K, so so much has changed now gender's fluid man and b2k so cool it's just they're so androgy yeah you know it's good luck it's cool um did you say b what are their names b2 bt bmw bts b2k was that shitty oh god b2k was that shitty canadian band that had uh no that was b44 but there's a b2k as well are you thinking of the uh uh the btk killer oh no i like him too all the other girls like you know the green river killer I'm into I had his poster no what his wanted poster his wanted poster I kissed it every night

so scary I was looking at the like Canadian police have released their like latest most wanted list yeah and uh everybody in it is doing a real not yeah who's who's hot and who's not who's uh tired and who's wired and there was there's two guys that had very uh angry faces very practiced angry faces and then one guy that was trying to say something while his photo was being taken so he looks so goofy what like this where do i look what do i do with my hands

wonderful what's the latest concert oh the latest concert you went to oh boy i went to do you guys know andy schaaf yeah uh yeah canadian yeah um but before that bahamas graham you'd like them oh but i also saw i went to a kesha concert here. Here we go. This is what I was looking for. Jealous. Yes, very. It was, yeah, it was a lot of sparkles and I had to work the next morning. So I left pretty early. It was a crazy time. Did you show up to work just covered in sparkles?

You forgot you slept in, didn't have enough time to take a shower and get the sparkles off? Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, oops, did I do that? Did you go to an Urkel concert? Yeah. Yeah, I did. And then he turns into Stefan Urkel to say, God, I must have taken a little more time with you.

Oh, my God. Bring him up on stage, Stefan Urkel. And then he does a Daft Punk number when he's the robot Urkel. Yeah. Yeah. And then we go into a spaceship. And then he also is good at basketball. Yeah.

He wears suspenders over his uniform. What? Are those all the Urkels in the Urkelverse? I mean, there's regular Urkel. There's just regular Urkel who's there most of the time. Yeah. I really get kind of checked out of that show by the time they I mean in a way they jumped the shark the moment he walked through the door but but when there were different iterations of him I was I was out by

then but I knew about them yeah how sad was the rest of the cast it was supposed to not be about urkel this comes up this is maybe the central premise of our podcast is that family matters was originally about the elevator operator from perfect strangers and her family oh my god well let's not talk about that then no no what's done is done amanda is anything that you've written had a character that suddenly took over the show and you had to like figure out how to write? That's a good question. Are there any even modern examples of that? Like was there on How I Met Your Mother was, you know, it was supposed to be about the

mother. we never even saw them oh no you know that's a good example though because uh the guy that neil patrick harris played ended up being like the central kind of everybody quoted him and he was like the most popular character on the show but he was supposed to be a peripheral character so there there you go that's the most recent example i figured it out yeah i can't think of any others maybe riverdale is that a thing like jughead wasn't supposed to take over yeah jughead's like a main character i haven't watched it in quite some time um yeah i watched that first season and then i was like i don't know man there's other shows that people are like giving awards to and stuff I don't need to see teens being teens too scary

I want to I really did want it to be you know them driving around in a jalopy and you know finding a way to get an extra milkshake out of pop tape pranking Weatherby and the drama was who was holding hands

with who yes yeah yeah yeah i did not want it to be who who was it who had had an affair with grundy oh with oh it was archie was it archie that was archie yeah and uh yeah that was like the first episode and i was like yeah oh this is this is great maybe i'll kill jughead in the second episode yeah grundy was like 8 700 years old yeah in the and she was like a hot young thing in the show good for them i thought she was hot in the comics that's true you have a poster of her on your wall i did like that they had to keep all their dumb corny names like mrs scrundy oh and then oh my band teacher was flute wait what's the name mr flute snoot was the band teacher wait they and they still call each other like archie kins

um oh yeah oh the worst one is when Betty has to call Jughead Juggie. It's very uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah, it's like, have you worked on sitcoms and things like that? Or what are you mostly working on in the writing biz? I have written for actually a lot of kids shows lately. I'm working on an animation currently, but I worked on a Disney live action. Oh, yeah.

And what was that? It was a show called Fast Lane. It lasted one season. I did not write on the first season. Don't blame me. So you wrote on a season that didn't get aired? Yeah, I did. Not to brag.

No, it was great. It was was very fun good group of people yeah it was nice but yeah now i'm working on an animation i just started two days ago nice and you have to draw all the pictures i draw all of the pictures and i voice everyone wow so can we get a little test sample of the dad yeah can we hear yeah the dad peter griffin yeah ah flawless ah flawless thank you so much but like the listeners don't know this but she drew him at the same time yeah yeah with with my feet i didn't need to i don't know why do you have to involve your feet in it it seems like you're gonna google amanda brooke perrin feet i want to get on wiki feet help me make my dream come true is wiki feet a real thing i think it is yeah is it really wiki like can anyone get on it yeah and like people would edit posts this this needs

uh some sort of clarification citation needed i think it's a real thing it is a real thing for sure i'm there right now wiki feet ew why are you there because you mentioned it's his home And here I am. I'm scared of it. I don't like feet. Feet are not for me. That's why you always wear two pairs of shoes. I wear so many shoes, so many socks. I can barely walk. Godspeed to anyone who likes feet, by the way.

I didn't mean to shame you. Yeah, Quentin Tarantino. Yeah, Quentin. How about Quentin as a girl's name yeah I don't mind it yeah I don't mind it it's pretty good um Dave what's going on with you man oh guys you know what I had a very I've had a very stressful week sorry to hear it and a very today especially a very stressful day and I was like ah the podcast it's coming up and i have one more thing to do i must say i'm feeling a lot better okay i haven't spoken to you that's so great uh but

one thing that's going on with me is i'm gonna i have something here and i wonder if you guys sound just a second just a second okay oh sounds like a bucket of lego it's a bucket of lego yeah oh wait that was insane graham's got very good um synesthesia yeah sure synesthesia he saw lego when he heard lego it's dumb synesthesia um i have uh two daughters and they like lego and they have a few sets and they i like build the sets for them they play with them right and recently margo's gotten like into the idea that you can just build anything with lego and i love that i'm so happy that we don't just like have to worry that the set stays pristine you can take it apart rebuild it build it a different way yeah and my brother has an 11 year old and a 13 year old and they don't play with their lego anymore and he was like well i'll just bring over their old lego and i was like sure

not realizing that it was boxes and boxes of lego that he separate he and his wife separated out into different colors what we have a bucket of green a bucket of red a bucket of clear wow what is this usher's green room didn't he separate his m&ms i know macy gray had different rooms on different colored rooms on cribs that's right um wow but usher separated his like m&ms or skittles or something he had he made someone do that yeah well that's uh van halen did that too it's like a uh uh like a contract thing like if if just to make sure that people have read the contract yeah to make sure that people read the contract yeah because they were you know whatever the

stage setup needed to be very specific but asher was probably just doing it as a flex you know probably he's always flexing. He is. And you know what? I like it. But now all day long, all I hear is just this. Yeah. And it's great.

We've got a whole summer. We can't put our kids in any camps. No, they can build their own camp. Yeah, exactly. But it's a blessing and a curse i'm glad that they're they have a you know something that can take up a couple hours every day but i i don't know how i don't love this put them in a kiddie pool yeah go to town let them drink from the garden hose that was a big big hit in my childhood huge hit did you guys do

like day camps one time i went to jesus camp jc for me at hotmail.com we need as many details as you can offer okay great news my parents were not religious they were just like we need somewhere to put these kids so they shoved us off to jesus camp and the what i remember most a is being in church and sitting cross-legged for what felt like 18 hours and when i went to get up both of my legs were asleep so i just kept knocking into children and like falling against everything in my vicinity um and then the second thing was on our last day they blindfolded us all and it was like a trust exercise and then at the very end they pushed us all into a pool trust shattered like fully dressed no preparation they were just like a deep enough pool to drown yeah they were like see you in hell

this is what hell's like and then they pushed us you thought hell was warm it's cold and wet it's cold and so wet um and you can't see you're blind now it was yeah it was very weird it was two weeks too uh but it was like you went home every day and said no you're sending me no it was a sleepover camp sleep away wow yeah wow wow did you make any friends or were you like oh i'm a hit did you let jesus into your heart you know i don't remember hanging out with jesus at all i would say during that time um yeah i made friends i had a little bit extra weight on me i had to make jokes to survive what was your go-to routine for for a young amanda brooke parent in this economy i would always say that so not much has changed not much has changed this is

the exact same did you guys go to like a day camper camp situation yeah yeah i went i went to uh and also jesus camp when i was maybe like 11 12 13 but we did go to church but this camp was not sold to me as a church camp it was sold to me as my friends were going and they had this the the um the big selling feature was the camp had a motorboat with uh one of those big bananas that you sit on and that was really fun yeah that sounds fun i could have done without the bible study but the big big boat banana was good maybe j Jesus was hiding in the banana. Yeah, Jesus is sort of in every banana.

Yeah, that's true. If you think about it. If you think about it. Yeah. Yeah, I went to one that I think I've talked about on the podcast before that I didn't realize, and my parents didn't realize, that it was a camp for troubled kids. realize and my parents didn't realize that it was a camp for troubled kids and so so within within a day somebody had thrown a knife between my legs into the log i was sitting on no yes well a good thing you went to a camp for troubled kids because regular kids would have probably

missed and hit you in the penis so So troubled kids are good with knives. Yeah, that's true. Oh my gosh. But at that camp, I learned how to pick a lock and how to roll a cigarette. I was rolling a cigarette for a 13-year-old kid. It's like the opposite of what your parents wanted they taught you how to be a bad boy when did your parents find out my parents uh they knew pretty instantly but i was already committed it was a it was already done deal you know they were already planning they were like imagining their

week without yeah and so they were like well good luck don't get stabbed in the dick they had to cancel the archery thing because nobody could be trusted with arrows no shit yeah how long were you there for it was a week and uh did anybody built did anyone uh dig a tunnel outside of the camp to get out of the camp no but i wouldn't have been shocked if there was like a midnight run over the fences or whatever because uh was it co-ed it was and the uh tell me about those troubled girls they're all from the craft um yeah the the thing that turned the tides for me friend wise was i uh opted to moon the car behind us on an out trip that we were on. And we were on the bus, and I did a pressed ham against the back door. And then I was, like, in with the cool kids. Did you just say a pressed ham?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. A pressed ham. What? I have never heard that before. Because your butt looks like a ham yeah you press it up against the glass yeah it kind of looks like ham and why were you going why did your camp have day trips to was it to a prison to be scared straight was it to mori was this Mori. We all got sent to boot camp. Yeah.

Yeah, it was a day trip out into, like, the Kananaskis. So we were, like, having to identify different pine cones or whatever. Leaves? Who knows? But, yeah, they dared me to do a pressed ham. And I was like, yeah, if this will get me in with you guys i'll be uh the communal bitch if that's what you require was it like aimed at a car then did that car drive off the road more of this he said i have ham in my fridge and i'm not i'm worried about eating it now what if it's

somebody's butt well it was at some point well you gotta press it up against the glass and do that test to see okay like bloody mary but with butts yes so yes i'm uh living in a lego world uh i'm stepping on it all the time i'm trying not to like my whole parenthood um goal is to not be a cliche so if i step on i was not stepping on it i try not to go ah damn kids i try to go uh you kids you should put them underneath their windows in case a burglar comes by so you can be macaulay yes yes well after i put tar outside to pull their boots off yeah and a nail just in the middle of the step because they were for sure gonna step on that one did he do any pranks that didn't work

um oh yeah none of them failed not in that economy okay okay childhood amanda graham what's going on with you uh not too much i can say that but uh last week we talked about uh that i was gonna buy a chair for hanging out in the parks because i like this gonna be a park Because I was like, this is going to be park heavy. So I went and got the chair. I've obtained the chair. And very quickly, I've slipped into park life. And I'm very aware. Park life! Yeah.

Graham is a guy sitting in a chair. Park life! A little beard on the boardwalk. It's a thing that you go to. Park life! Is that blur? A little beard on the boardwalk. It's a thing that you go to park live. That's pretty good. That's fun for a chunk of our audience. Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

It's blurry, yep. Yeah, I realize by sitting out in the park by myself when there are kids around swinging and stuff, I get, I know that I look like a creep. Now, this chair was obtained for hanging out and going to like park parties um not you never said anything about going hanging out by yourself yeah i do like i said i've fully slipped into the lifestyle so i don't uh it's not just when i'm hanging out with people i could go solo i can go with one other person tell me about the the chair is it is it a is it only creepy because it looks like the game of thrones chair yeah you've got it it's an inflatable sword chair i have to blow it up every time i go to the park yeah yeah but uh it's worth it um what is it so it's like i'm assuming it's worth it. What is it?

So it's like, I'm assuming it's folding. It's folding. It's not like the old, like the days of yore where it folded like a sandwich. This one bundles up like a bundle. An umbrella. Yeah. And does it have a cup holder? You bet it does.

Got a cup holder. And when I went to go buy them uh the there was two ones you could pick from and one was just a regular red and the one that was uh had a canada leaf on it or the canada flag on it was two extra dollars that's crazy wow what like if anything i was like maybe this is a cheaper way to go because yeah it looks hilarious but uh because you might get beaten up and so you bought the canada one i bought the canada one and i keep it stitched to my backpack when i go to europe and you wear it with your canada flag shorts and tank top and sunglasses shutter shades yeah i just learned about standing chairs today by the way have you

guys heard of these is that like wearable chairs oh yes yeah no you have so i if you haven't google it because it it looks like i'm sorry i'm i'm only googling wiki feet from here it looks like prosthetic legs it's just you you bend your knees in your sitting yeah the weirdest doesn't it use like uh the weight from your front half to balance out the back half is that how it works i don't know i looked at the pictures and said i'm out um maybe i should get into this maybe we should get on the ground floor of chair pants wearable chair is there any uh yeah, is there like, what piece of furniture would be the best to wear?

A waterbed. A beanbag chair? Yes, yes. This is one cool house we're talking about. After a big dinner, I feel like I'm wearing a beanbag chair. Yeah, the... I would always trip over the ottoman pants um yeah so i got myself a chair have you seen those things in the park uh where it's people

who have like there's a it's kind of like a big air pillow that they have to like yes run to fill up yeah oh it's kind of like shaped like a canoe kind of thing yeah are those happening you have to run to fill it up yeah you kind of open it and you just kind of like run like kind of move it around and it catches the air instead of you having to blow it up um it's basically the uh garbage bag principle You just hold a garbage bag in the wind and then seal it. It kind of pops out of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I got a chair and

also I found a tree that has some sort of fruit on it that I have no idea what it is. But it was on a lot that is slated for demolition. So I took, I felt I could take one of these off the tree and take it home and kind of investigate.

And I have no fucking idea what it is. Is it haunted? It's a haunted fruit, whatever it is. It's a haunted fruit. Only haunted houses get demolized. I think I saw a picture of one of these fruits and it reminded me of my old house we had a tree that would drop these green balls yeah fruity fruity pear

pear looking balls okay but they were apparently a nut yeah that's and the nut was deep inside that's what i've uh that's kind of the consensus that has been reached is it's a walnut. Okay. That you take the walnut out of the fruit, you put the lime and the coconut, and then you drink it all up. Yeah, yeah.

But yeah, it was fun to play whatever... Name this fruit. Yeah. Now, there's apps on one's phone you can get if you to like identify a tree and uh or like uh you know what plant do i have in my yard i don't know what to do with this plant right uh i wonder if that would work yeah it uh it was just kind of like because i thought one of the early thoughts was that it was a passion fruit. And the passion fruit thing looks exactly the same as the thing I had.

But no, it seems like walnut is the winner. It seems weird that a passion fruit would grow wild here. Yeah, right? Yeah. I've never seen a passion fruit or tasted one, but remember it was one of the smelly felts smells oh really yeah it was and it was like a weird kind of like blue one maybe one time in daycare i got in trouble because me and my me and the other two amandas took all the felts out from the markers like the felt part we just removed them and then they put a a sign on the the wall with

our faces and sad faces next to them it was really sad wow you were on the most wanted list yeah my aunt had to buy new markers i should probably pay her back for that i'm sure it's all water under the bridge uh speaking of water a lot of people uh in the facebook group or uh maybe on twitter were asking me to watch the show the floor is lava and uh give my review uh so i watched i watched an episode and i hate it i don't like it whatsoever. So it's like a competition show where there's a big studio and there's people just jumping from thing to thing. And the floor is, for lack of a better word, lava. Yeah. So the floor is like, it must be a deep pool because when they fall into it, like they completely vanish.

So it must be like a deep pool and then they have all these set pieces and there's there's kind of like all these ways to get around and they explain to you all the ways that you can get around which is very boring and the guy who does the commentary is kind of too smarmy you know what i mean like it feels like for that show to succeed everybody has to be quite earnest about it. Like, uh, but they're not.

You went to camp. Speaking of camp stories, have I got an earnest one for you? Yeah. So like the first episode has, uh, has a set of twins and their mom and then a set of triplets and uh man oh man three male triplets no thanks i'm out oh no yeah no can there be fraternal

triplets that thing that happens are they always identical uh because fraternal twins come from two separate eggs yeah i think so it seems less likely that you would get separate three separate eggs yeah yeah that's true i mean i don't know how uh anything could you get two in one yeah could you get two identical and one fraternal because like octomom had those must have been like a cluster of eggs. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, boy. Have you seen those kids? She ordered a cluster of eggs. Well, she did.

Wasn't it in vitro? It was. Yeah. I don't know if you... I don't know how it worked. I don't know if she ordered it. They give you a menu of how many eggs you want. One cluster.

She said, I'll take one cluster. I'll take the Grand S one cluster i'll take the grand slam please yeah um but uh yeah so it's just not it's no fun this show it's too self-aware and uh the people are too being too cheeky and uh i don't think there's like enough it's not enough on the line you know it's not like sure a great show where all the stuff was going on a conveyor belt over the side of the building right of course my kids my kids watched uh a couple episodes of my my floor is lava i hope my floor is lava my best friend's mom is lava stop for my mom is lava um the uh and they liked it okay but they they they had no interest in continuing.

No. I guess they didn't love it. I'm with Margo and Poppy in that I'm like, no thanks. Wait, so they do it by team. If one of them drops, is the whole team disqualified, or do they keep going? No, it's all based on time. You lose a point if somebody falls off the thing. You lose a point for losing a member

of the team. But then if it comes down to a tie, it's whoever did it fastest wins. But they explain every time that the competitors go through the labyrinth exactly how to do it. I was like, yeah, I was here the first time that you told me how to do it. And then they do it

two more times. The show's for kids graham yeah and that's my but you know not for your kids apparently you're right yeah um and then uh of course uh this week uh we are yes continuing on continuing our erotic movie erotic thriller club, movie club. And it's great that we invite a, is this harassment to like ask a woman to watch a sex movie with you? It would be if we said like, come over and watch it, then that would be bad. But in general being like, hey, you want to be part of the club?

Check this out. Not with me. I'm one of the boys we'd just be a boys club watching two two people get it in did you watch it i did watch it nice and what were your thoughts wow i don't know i think we haven't even introduced it. No. The movie this week is Unfaithful, the 2002 film starring Diane Lane, for which she was nominated for an Oscar.

What? No. And Richard Gere, for which he was nominated for a hamster. No. Directed by Adrian Line, who directed

Fatal Attraction, nine and a half weeks uh indecent proposal he likes a a horny movie yeah yeah it was a horny movie and like richard as i said before richard gear or michael douglas being in peril yeah really scratches an itch for me i don't know what it is but they something i like about it the hair um so it's a diane lane and uh richard gear they live in upstate new york or whatever yeah somewhere somewhere with a country somewhere yeah their kid is dewey from malcolm in the middle which is super distracting when you first see so distracting well the first thing that happens is they're like she's like doing mom stuff and

she's like go pee go and then and they like cgip coming out of him it was really weird he also makes armpit fart noises pretty immediately which is like here why did you need that though why did that need to be a part of it i haven't done that in so long i probably will tonight after this is over yeah well do it now man it's next fun drive graham stop it i love it um yeah so they uh live in some place that's that's you need to take a train to go into the city that's the big yeah big thing and uh she goes into the city on biz and she's what is she she's wants to be on a very window windy day the most windy day she's doing stuff for the school auction it's not that's right really business yeah not that

you would get on a train and like go downtown to take care of it uh so yeah it's a windy windy day and he's she there she's just getting it's like a silent movie the way the wind is blowing they're getting blown all over the streets i've never seen anything like it if a pig would have flown by i would have been like yep that checks out that's how windy it was somebody with an umbrella and then this handsome man is walking down the street carrying a stack of books a cartoonist stack so you're right this is all very silent film the guy trying to walk into the wind with a stack of books yeah uh and they they run in she he and diane lane smack into each other she scrapes her knees and uh he invites her into his apartment to clean off and then uh so she goes in and they don't have sex. Yeah. And he's, he's very handsome.

He's Olivier Martinez who, um, I've only ever seen him in that movie SWAT. Oh yeah. He's like, he gets arrested and, uh, he's this like super rich guy who's arrested. And there's a news crew there.

And he looks into the camera and says, anyone who breaks me out of prison, we'll, I'll give you a hundred million dollars so i can't that's all i can think of him doing yeah and uh fair enough but this uh he's a book seller yeah yeah and he's got like a giant apartment that looks like a library yeah there's like a whole library in there and uh somehow this guy being a bookseller fantasy yeah he's somehow a phase for

that um and then what happens explained away at another time it's his friend's apartment right right um yeah so she goes home uh and then she finds a note in the book that he gave her and so she comes back and visits him and they both have these big cozy gray sweaters yeah and then uh they don't then they don't have sex they do not have sex again so the second time she goes to his apartment they do not have sex yeah uh and but she just can't stop she can't shake the thought right she's and you see glimpses of her home life during this which doesn't seem that bad it actually seems pretty nice yeah richard gear is a husband who works too much yeah but he's not he's not uh you know abusive in his uh no he's very

loving he works too much maybe but he doesn't miss the train home like he never comes home and then works more yeah they he they just touch each other so much there was so much touching i'm like why do you have to go get other touching anyway we, we'll get to that. Yeah. Yeah. So she goes back. So for some other reason, she comes back into the city, goes back into his apartment and is like, oh, he's like, I'm listening to blues. Did she make that noise? No, she literally goes in.

He's listening to blues music. Yeah. And he says, do you want to dance? I'll give you 100 million dollars and uh and they dance a bit and she's like i i gotta go and then she leaves and then she comes back and then they have sex yeah yeah yeah yeah but not before she's like i forgot my jacket and then he he like lunges at her and picks her up and they swing a bit yes and he's wearing another cozy sweater he takes it off he's got no shirt underneath no shirt he's barebacking that sweater i could not take the fact that he's wearing this itchy sweater with nothing in between it and his skin yeah crazy no wonder he wanted to take it off um

so uh so they have weird sex they're very like she's like no no yes yeah he rubs he puts he puts a palm of his hand over her face the way you do to like shush shush shush yeah yeah yeah he like blows onto her belly yeah whistles into her butt no he does like one of those like a raspberry on her belly i thought you were when the way you did your hands it looked like you were gonna blow into a seashell it blows into her seashell it's part of the sit-up and this whole time her knees are still scraped up i'm like i'm not having sex so my knees are better they are bloody no thanks um so they yeah they have they have sex they and then i think she leaves and comes back a few times they start she starts just like coming

into the city regularly to have midday sex with this guy oh yeah that weird part he draws something on her or he draws a little like drawing a dick i'm not gonna lie i thought he was drawing a dick yeah she's she falls asleep in the afternoon after the Yeah. And he draws on her. Her V. Treasure trail. Her V. You know the V that guys have? She has that also.

Sure does. And then, you know, she only realized that he did that when she's at home in the tub. And then she's like, ah, I got to get rid of it right away. But then Richard Gere comes in. He's like, hey, how about I get in the tub? And she's like ah i gotta get rid of it right away and but then richard gear comes in he's like hey how about i get in the tub and she's like no bubbles that's how there's never any like that never pays off it's never like hey what's that thing on your it was like you got it just in the nick of time she's gonna get away with this um so she she's still to get away with this. Um, so she, she's still hanging out. At one point she goes to a,

like a lunch with other ladies. Oh yeah. And they, they blink in the bathroom. Yeah. He, but they see him and they're like, Oh,

what I wouldn't give to be blinking him. And then she's like, I got to go to the bathroom. Yeah. Somebody's going to draw a flower on me if you know what i mean also they do it in a movie theater which it's just the way that they do it she's spread eagle just full-blown in a chair and there is no hiding it they're also watching like a movie from i wanna say world war ii it was the marquee said

french movie festival so clearly they're the only two people who went it's just for him yeah yeah it's like the people on the set or whoever at some point he's like it just it will say french film i'm not going to look up a french film the bonjour come on to pal 2 festival this was apparently based on a French film from the 60s, so it might have even been that. Oh, right. Okay. But it didn't say anything in the IMDb trivia.

Shame that. So, you know. And she seems, she's like having this affair. She seems to be crying a lot. Yeah. She's crying so much. Yeah. But like there's one scene where she's on the train and she can't stop

laughing at the thought of him having sex with her. Like she's like, Oh, what a good time. Uh, yeah. And then, so then she sees him out with another woman and she gets super jealous and

like follows him. She goes to, she goes to find him to break up with him. And then he, she sees him with another woman and then she gets jealous. Right. So it backfires. And then they end up doing the dirty.

I mean, in her defense, he's very hot. He's so hot. But you know, I saw my side piece doing someone else I'd be like excuse me and that's all you'd say

do you know who I am do you know who my father is his name is Greg so and then Richard Gere hires a private eye played by Uncle Junior from The Sopranos. That's right.

But not before that guy from his work sees the couple in a cafe smooching. Yeah. Right. Chad Lowe. They're not even very good at, they, yeah, they start going out in public together. Yeah. So she's, she's ditched the affair part of the affair. And this is just now her second relationship.

Yeah. She's Polly now. Yeah. This was originally going to be called Along Came Polly. And then Adam Sandler shows up. So he gets the picks back. And it's it's you know them running out of another theater and uh i think it was the time they did it in the theater because they're not gonna do it in two theaters what are the odds that two theaters are completely empty you know when you go to a

movie and you're like oh no one else is here this is going to be great i'm the only one in the theater and then someone shows up one minute in and you're already spread Eagle. They're right in the middle of the theater. It's not, they didn't choose a backseat. They're like, what about the part where there's a little bit of space between the back half of the theater and the front half of the theater?

There definitely has to be a projectionist. Yeah. So Richard Gere, uhere gets the photo evidence. And so then, I don't remember what happens, how he ends up going to the guy's house. He gets the address from Uncle Johnny or whatever the hell his name is. Yeah, Uncle Johnny there. And then he tracks him down and he knocks on his he knocks on french man's apartment and he he of course opens up his door wearing a jacket and no shirt underneath that's right because he's

just had sex with diane but he's going somewhere he's not like the whole idea of not wearing a shirt underneath sweaters and jackets it It's so upsetting to me. It's French. It reminded me a bit of that Bon Jovi video with Carla Gugino. And isn't it the one from Carrie Russell? Yeah. Carrie Russell's in it too. And then Carla Gugino's dating a guy and leaves him.

He's got big lips and leaves him for an artsy type and the artsy guy is like painting her with his big uh puffy uh excuse you turtleneck on okay he takes that off and he's naked underneath yeah so yeah it's it's common in a fair world uh it's just yeah just wear a big scratchy sweater with no shirt so then richard gear goes in and he is is oh actually yeah he was like may i come in and the french guy's like sure after he's like i am constance's husband yeah and uh the french but the french guy handles it with like yeah this was bound to happen it's happened to me a thousand times before. Yeah. And he like offers him a drink and he goes, gets the drink. It's not a fake out.

He's not like, you want a drink? Ha, I fucked your wife and no drink for you. Real grown up man drink. Yeah. And then he starts like freaking out. He starts going like, I can't like I can't I can't breathe you know yeah and he grabs a snow glove which has a lot of

emotional baggage with it yeah because he had regifted Diane Lane had regifted that's the craziest thing she could have done super nuts and then because he can't see and he's very

confused he just decides to bop him on the head yeah bop him on the head with the snow globe and then he starts bleeding in a way that i can only describe as like someone holding an orange over your head and squeezing the orange and then the blood looked like that. Like a blood orange. Yeah, blood orange. Good. And he just stood there standing up just bleeding out on his feet. And then

he's, you know, then it turns into a real crime drama. Yeah. Before it was just all uh you know hoity-toity affair drama and blood sugar sex drama yeah he doesn't just knock the guy sex drama he he the guy dies he doesn't just get like oh excuse me while i go fix up my head he's uh he is dead and so then richard gear like it didn't it broke the guy's skull but not the snow globe not the snow globe was a very good gift it turns out because it does not break a sturdy fijian snow globe yeah and then he has he's in charge now of taking care of this body he He can't just walk out. He's in charge of it, yeah.

He can't delegate it to anyone. He elected himself CEO of taking care of the body. And so the chief executive officer rolls this body up in a really nice rug. Yeah. Yeah. And then he has to go. Oh, yeah. He has to go on the elevator that they earlier in the movie said, Oh,

this elevator always jams. What happens? You bet. Yeah. But it was the same jam and elevator from fatal attraction. Yeah. Yeah. And,

uh, yeah, it's all part of the same universe. And then I feel like the rest of the movie is just like, are they going to catch him? Mm. Hmm. Um, yeah. And then he, like the rest of the movie is just like are they gonna catch him um yeah and then he uh yeah it becomes this like not so much a cat and mouse game but then he goes it's my favorite scene in the movie when he goes to his kids recital after he's just killed this guy and put him in his car and uh the kids recital is so bad it's one of the worst kid recitals ever committed to film um okay wait wait wait but then he before that before he even gets in his car he's just carrying

a body wrapped in a in a rug and a guy's like excuse me do you want help with that do you it's clearly a body could you imagine carrying uh like 160 pound frenchman i couldn't even carry the rug no certainly not it was a big rug yeah and he's wearing that heavy sweater but no undershirt the undershirt has a lot of weight and they uh they kind of then she clues in she figures it out because the snow globe is at their house again yeah and she's like how did this get back here and it has a note in the bottom of it or something oh yeah yeah i don't know at that point i was like okay first of all the police had already shown up a few times both of them are like uh-oh they're gonna find out i had an affair and then richard gear is like uh-oh they're gonna figure it out i murdered a person and both of them are like uh-oh we both

have equally bad secrets and then fair is fair though you know exactly and then she sees the snow globe and she she makes eye contact with him when they're having like a weird dinner party with those women who who cares about those women from the coffee shop and then she's like did you hurt him and then i can't remember the dialogue but he said i didn't want to kill him wanted to kill you oh yeah yeah yeah that's a great richard gear impression thank you Thank you. You had kind eyes when you said that. Now do your impression of him in Pretty Woman. You just shoved me out of the store and I'm a rich guy. So big mistake you.

I'm going to snap this jewelry box on your hand, Julia Roberts. So yeah, that's basically the whole shebang. But it shifted gears. I like the way that it starts as one movie and then in the middle it shifts gears and it's a whole other movie. It shifted gears. Here we go.

What did you think of this erotic thriller, everyone? I loved it. Okay. I didn't love it. No. What did we watch last week? We watched Single White Female.

It was better than Single White Female. It was not as good as Fatal Attraction. Yes. I hated it so much. Why did it, why at the end, here's my thing. At the end,

both of them are just like, okay, we had equally bad secrets and we're slow dancing now. So it's going to be fine. And then that's just like it. That's the end. Yeah. There was really no like plot reason for her to cheat on him in the first place it was no like no reason it was it wasn't like oh he's ignoring me he's a bad boy and not

in a good way it's she was horny from the wind yeah she's horny from the wind and everybody gets horny in the wind that's why twister is nc-17 version of gone with the wind horny with the wind um yeah it just kind of doesn't resolve itself and then by that point you're like well i'm not going to see either of them naked on screen anymore so yeah away i go by the way i have a horny recommendation if you guys haven't seen normal people and you want to feel horny check it out on hulu or something else i don't know what crave what is it called is it a tv show it's a yes it's a irish television show and it's so horny how horny is it they have sex so much that like they keep i don't know how

they they did this they have sex so much by the end it is still i'm still very much into it like they make it they're like get you saw this a million times but it's different somehow this time okay i'd like to be horny. Yeah. Check it out. Normally Irish people bum me out, but I could get behind it. It does become a bummer. I'm not going to lie.

But do they still have sex? Sad sex? Yes. Yes. Yeah. Nothing cheers you up quite like sad sex. There it is. Now,

we had mentioned earlier that we wanted to round out the horny movie club uh yeah with basic instinct yeah the the queen of them all i would say i think we yeah i think that's a good idea we'll do that this week i mean i'm a little bit feel a little bit remiss that we're not doing uh the um madonna one oh body of evidence. Yeah. But I, I can, I can't put myself through it. Like I literally had such a very busy week that I watched this movie. Like I finished this movie 15 minutes before we recorded today. Wow.

After a week long assignment. Yeah. But yeah, let's do a basic instinct. Then we'll switch up the movie club again okay um do we want to move on to a little bit of max fun drive talk yes hey everybody it's max fun drive time and what a time to be alive am i right what a time it's now normally we do a two-week max fun drive where we just hit you over the head with it we really guilt you into supporting the show real couple of thumpers over here yeah we get our toughest

guys on the case dave and uh you know dastardly dave and uh what's your tough guy name graham mayhem clark oh that's good yeah uh you have a lot of experience with fight nicknames. Yeah, yeah, that's true. I used to be on Popeye. I don't know. But now it's a low-key, four-week MaxFunDrive. We're not going to hit you over the head. Oh, just chill out, you know? Yeah, we just say, hey, everyone, I want everyone to just microdose a little bit of a mushroom right now.

And just let your fingers do the walking. So we know that right now there are many, many financial causes that are worthy of your money. And we know that a lot of you right now are not in a financial position to support the show. We completely understand. Take the year off. Yeah. a lot of you right now are not in a financial position to support the show we completely understand take the year off yeah uh but those of you who are in the position and want to help the show well guess what it's max fun drive and if you're going to help the show now's the time to do it yeah and uh you know we're lucky to have uh regular listeners that really love the show. We've been told by quite a few of them that it being around has helped them through what is most definitely a difficult and weird time.

We appreciate hearing that. Like Dave said, if you're in the position to join up as a MaxFun member, this is the time to do it if you've thought about doing it. And it couldn't be easier. You just go to the website and click on a thing. Boom. You're in the money. Well, no, you're out the money. Yeah, you're out the money.

We're in the money. And what a funny way to get along or whatever. Yes. Now, what we wanted to talk about in this break is the gifts that you're gonna get if you support the show by going to maximumfund.org so if you join for five dollars a month you'll get exclusive members only bonus content we made ours months ago what was our bonus content this year uh our bonus content was us reading an episode uh that paul f tompkins was a guest on and recreating an episode we yes we read a

transcript of an old episode with ryan beale playing paul f tompkins yes and it went it was hilarious off the rails it went so off the rails But if you join at $5 a month, you will get that. You will get every show's bonus content from the history of the MaxFunDrive. We've put out about 10 years worth of these bonus episodes. Yeah. And some of them have been really, really fun and really, really weird. And you'll want to check them out if you become a member, because you can at $10 a month, you will get a membership card to the max fund drive or to maximum fun.

And an enamel pin of your choosing from any show on the network. I know what you're going to choose. Yeah. Cause I've seen the pins, the stop podcasting yourself pin this year. Let me describe it. It's dynamite. It's a, it's a picture of my late great dog grandpa he's got a bindle over his shoulder yes and it says well off i go and it's maybe the saddest pin maybe the only pin that would make you cry yeah but it's

that emotional connection that'll make it the best pin in your yeah when when's the last time a pin really made you feel something other than jabbing besides stabbing yeah yeah uh at for twenty dollars a month there's the game pack where you get a fully custom deck of high quality max fun inspired playing cards fun uh every face card is unique and there's a hidden max fun symbolism all over uh also oh like the masons yeah and the illuminati there's a lot of triangles with eyes in them you also get a pack of six blue max fun dice in their own velvety dice bag nice graham didn't you get kicked in the dice bag in the velvety dice bag the other day yeah i used to do a an andrew dice clay tribute act uh called the dice bag yeah and uh yeah and

then i did get kicked in the dice bag for doing the dice bag yeah um yeah it was tragic at 35 dollars a month there's the rocket camp mug that uh there's more gifts at 50 100 200 a month. There's the rocket camp mug that, uh, there's more gifts at 50, a hundred, 200 a month. You can find details for all of that at maximum fun.org slash join. The important thing is we're talking about it right now. If you're thinking about it, do it now.

Yeah. Uh, maximum fun.org slash join. Thanks. Want to get back to the show? Yes. Overheard. Overheard's a segment

which is increasingly hard in these times of being in your house all day. But some people have ones from years ago and they share it here on the show. And we like to share what we've heard or seen on the show. And we always like to start with the guest. Amanda, would you lead the charge? I would absolutely love to.

So I have two technically, but they're both from hikes. So they're really quick. The first hike I was on, they were both at the same place to Freiman Canyon hotspot. So I was at Freman canyon one time and uh there was there were a couple of people ahead of me and then one guy in front of me and the couple coming down the hill were like oh hey just a heads up there's a guy with a sword ahead and then the guy in front of me the guy in front of me said oh what's he wearing and then they were like you can't miss him he's got a sword so that was fun and you're just what do you do when you encounter a guy with a sword do you act big or do you roll over play yeah yeah

you may and i on con i contact what do you do i like he hasn't done anything too dangerous yet except that big old sword yeah i think i would say nice sword i feel like my whole life uh i'm worried that i'm the guy people warn people further down the trail about yeah somebody some guy up there has diarrhea yeah there's a big dork over there thumbs up there um uh my absolute favorite one though was early on when they moved here i was walking up the hill and there was an old couple stopped to the side near a bench and the the old woman said to her husband, hurry up, dear. We just got lapped by Ray Romano. I guess not everybody loves Ray Romano. Yeah.

I did see him, though. He looked, listen, Ray Romano looked, he was keeping it tight. He looked good. He's a real zaddy. He is a zaddy. I don't know what that means. Is it like a tangy zangy what is it what's a tangy zangy a tangy zangy is like a british kind of sour gummy he was not sour he was sweet he was sweet and zaddy um uh yeah ray ray's a friend uh yeah we wish him the best yeah um

yeah i took the girls to the park the other day and the next life there was a tennis court uh and there were some guys playing tennis and they were talking uh and one of them was like well i uh i just got offered the basement suite of the place i'm staying in and they asked if i wanted it i was like yeah which for for first of all i'm like you wanted the basement okay uh okay sure and then he started talking about yeah they really want to get rid of first they have to get rid of the woman who lives down there she's uh she's she's very strange and the landlords don't like her and she does have some strange requests like that nobody directly above her uses their phones after 10 p.m what's so strange about that

he meant like not even talk on your phone just like you know to have your phone on yeah because she does ham radio and it interferes with her right yeah yeah i i didn't hear anymore because there was a weed whacker going yes this is high season for the weed whacker you ever had a weed you ever whacked a weed i've whacked a weed i've never owned one but i worked for a company that i had to use a weed whacker for always ended up chopping my shins to shit. Really? Yeah, it was... Always there was... And a stone would get in there

and, like, whip into your chest. Pretty awful. It sounded like you said Emma Stone. Emma Stone's in there and just hits you in the chest. She is mean. Yeah, yeah. Classically mean. Crazy, stupid knees.

My overheard, courtesy of my new park existence. Park existence. Thank you. Was a little girl, not super little, like let's say nine years old. There's a tree in this park that's like super great for climbing because it's got like branches all the way down that a nine-year-old can grab onto and uh she was pulling on her dad's hand and she said papa can i please climb the tree is she british no but i just pictured it in that brit accent. Because who calls their dad Papa?

Papa? Yeah. Papa, can I climb a tree? It's just so lovely. Smurfette calls her dad Papa. Papa Roach? Yes, sure. Jacoby Shaddix.

Have you tried climbing that tree? No. Mostly it was the kids were on it, and I didn't want to bum out any of the kids by climbing it and not letting them on, you know? I don't know that I've climbed a tree in a long time. No, but it reminded me that I used to climb a tree a lot as a kid. Really, that was something that we were allowed to do? I think one time, maybe like 10 years ago,

I climbed a fence and tore my pants like it was adulthood it hit hard yeah and that was some instant karma because you shouldn't have been climbing over that fence no that's why the fence was put there in the first place exactly you're gonna get it in the underpants sir sir now uh in addition to overheards that we have we also accept your overheards from around the world if you want to send one in you can send it into spy at maximum fun dot org and this first one comes from georgia in manchester uk park life uh this week in Manchester, lockdown is easing a bit and I went into the city to see some friends. While there we saw a fight between two rubbies, which is an expression I learned from my mom, which led to a double overheard

and the second one of the two was the one I liked as we passed two guys who were separating but very mad they were in the middle middle of a fight uh one shouted i'm going to be in the paper again for stabbing you that is good that is good and And local man stabs local man. I do like the idea of, yeah, we've raised restrictions again. You're allowed to hand-to-hand combat. That's right. As long as you wear gloves.

We're in phase three. There's a lot of grappling happening. Yeah. No face shots, but if you've got gloves on, you can grab the other guy's wrists. I hope that if it was in the paper, it's just like, Mark stabbed Carl again. This next one comes from Catherine A. in Halifax, Nova Scotia. This is an overheard from the before times. Overheard in a local thrift store.

Three teen girls were browsing when one turned to her friends and exclaimed, I found the best buckets hats here. Bucket hats. Yeah. Bucket hats. Yeah. That's like a, like very nineties.

Yeah. They were nineties. Kind of like a old, like a fishing hat. Right? Yeah. I have one. Yeah.

It's great. Do you want one? teens do yeah it's good for keeping the sun out for keeping the rain out it does all the same things as a baseball hat but it's all around yeah were you the teen girl dave i'm a teen girl uh i I got it out of the Delia's catalog. I saw it in YM. Yeah, I saw it in YM. I saw it in a cute band alert for cake. This cutie patootie. And this last one comes from Matthew M. Parts unknown.

This is the best email signature I've seen in my professional career. It says, take care. Get ready. Get set. Bruce. Very fun. It's better than sincerely, Bruce. Yeah.

I love that. Get ready. Get set. Bruce. Bruce is fun. That's good. Now, in addition, do either of you have email uh signatures uh no no i don't know how to set one up no i know how to take off sent from my iphone but that's that's all i want yeah i just want that gone return of the mac

amanda broke parent in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. Spy pod one. Like these people have. I'm getting worse at this. Hey, Graham and Dave.

This is Lauren calling from Chicago with an overheard from the pre-COVID days when we were allowed to move freely through the world. But a couple months ago, my husband and I were walking into a Home Depot one Sunday afternoon. And as we were coming in the main entrance, there was a couple there who was clearly in the middle of an argument. And as we get closer, I started to kind of listen in on what this argument was all about so early on in their shopping experience. And I just heard the woman very exasperatedly say, you can't just decide that you're going to start pronouncing it tomato. Well, off I go.

Yeah, I get a couple of tomatoes. Yeah, it is. Yeah, you got to consult your friends before you throw them a curveball like that. Yeah. Like I'm becoming folksy. Yeah, we should get some plants. Maybe I don't know, tomato? It's hard not to do the entirey. Yeah, we should get some plants. Maybe, I don't know, a tomato? It's hard not to do the entire accent.

Yeah, you gotta... Hey, Maureen, you got some potatoes over there? Fun. Next one. Hi, Dave and Graham. It's Aunt Sheila calling. I was reminded of an early 90s overheard in Vancouver diner, Mary's on Davy, which is in the spirit of edupedics in the States,

where all the fabulous staff take pot shots at all the clientele coming in. Sunday brunch was a very popular place to be, and there was not a seat left in the house. And as we waited our turn, somebody pushed past us and started negotiating with one of the servers and saying, don't you know, don't you know who the person is I'm with? It's Sharon Stone. And Sharon Stone was in town filming Intersection. And all of a sudden, this guy starts yelling, Is there a doctor in the house?

Sharon Stone is here! She doesn't know who she is! Anybody! She's got amnesia! It was wonderful. Thank you! Do you know who that is? Sharon Stone. Doctor in the house. Oh, man. Hi, Angela. I love you.

That was great. That was great. I remember when Intersection was filming in Vancouver and it was a very horny time. Yeah. Really, the two things about Sharon Stone is horny movies and that she got bitten by a dragon. Didn't it? Wasn't it her husband? No, that's right. It was her husband.

Yeah. Wait, what? Oh, a Komodo dragon. Yeah. And then one time she went to the oscars in a close from the gap or or golden globes or something yeah yeah cool well i mean i guess we should all go around and give our favorite sharon stone memories um mine's komodo dragon yeah mine's gap uh mine's uh when she peeled a banana in public.

I don't know. All right. Here's your final overheard. Hey, Dave, Graham, and fantastic guests and or in visible. This is Tim from Fort Collins, Colorado, with an overheard from the before times. I was walking my dog past a local park where some probably early teens were playing basketball. And as I passed by, I heard one of them yell, hey, Cam, if I make this, your mom doesn't love you. Oh, there I go.

Them's the rules, man. You signed up for basketball with this guy. Oh, man. We used to do that with lunches. We used to say, did you get a lunch did is your lunch packed the way your mom like if you're if you don't get a juice box in your lunch your mom doesn't love you yes and you know what that was a really harsh game to play harshest games they're so mean for listeners uh playing the Stop Podcasting Yourself drinking game at home,

remember to drink anytime someone says the before times. Yes. Well, that brings us to the end of this here episode. Amanda, do you have any projects or anything that you want to plug here on the podcast? You can follow me on twitter i guess sometimes i like

to go there yeah you have funny tweets if you if you type in the little search bar amanda brooke perrin i'll come up yeah but you're just at brooke perrin right i don't i can't remember if i changed it to at amanda brooke perrin i think maybe I only did that for my Instagram. It seems like too many characters. There's too many. I think it's just at Brooke Perrin. Either way. Yeah, you're at Brooke Perrin.

Here I am. Thank you for reminding me. You know what? I'll follow you. Finally. That's it. I guess I just want to promote love. Yeah. Everybody love one another yeah especially in this new normal in these new times going into these very special different

times yeah we were in the before times and now we're in times new Roman. Yes. Times like these. These days, these days. I'll take us out. Okay, you guys promote stuff now. No, sing your song. I don't know. No, we'll sign, and you'll sing us out.

So here we go. Yeah, yeah. We'll sign off. Prepare a song. Do you want me to find a top 10 hit right now? Yes, please. I don't know any graham you start thank you everybody uh for uh listening to the podcast uh as we said a couple times before it's the max fun drive if you're thinking of uh joining as a donor or uh upping

your uh donation this is most definitely the time and we appreciate any and all who do so and uh yes um and this uh yeah the show is supported entirely by your by our listeners so uh we uh we make the show for you and you make you basically make the show we're not going to make this show for any of it all for anything. And to sing us out, the number nine song on the Billboard Hot 100 right now by Lil Mosey. This is Amanda Brooke Perrin with the song Blueberry Faygo.

Okay. Raspberry, nope. Banana, nope. Watermelon, nope. Blueberry Faygo. What's that sound? It's Blueberry Faygo. nope banana nope watermelon nope blueberry fago what's that sound it's blueberry fago gulp gulp gulp gulp gulp

gulp gulp wow beautiful rendition if you like the show come on back next week for another episode of stop Podcasting Yourself.