Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 645 - Debra DiGiovanni

Episode Date: July 28, 2020

Comedian Debra DiGiovanni returns to talk Mr. T, crafting videos, and writing dating profiles. Plus, it’s week 3 of MaxFunDrive 2020. Support the show at maximumfun.org/join....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, he's Dave Shumka, and he's Graham Clark, and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody, and welcome to episode number 644 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's so, so very stoked that this is another week of the MaxFunDrive. It's Dave Shumka. It's episode 645, Graham. Sorry. It felt like a 44 kind of night. sorry we went over like a 44 kind of night no that was that was last week but yes i i am feeling it i'm feeling alive and i'm just loving uh i guess my body these days i'm just oh yeah
Starting point is 00:00:56 uh totally just i'm kind of rediscovering myself hand mirror you know all that i do yes um our guest today is uh oh one of the all-time greats i say uh she's oh so funny she's uh down in california where everything is madness it's deborah dg avani hello hello how are you i'm okay i'm in i live in i live in hell but other than that i'm fine i live in america what am i doing here should we uh should we uh get to know us yeah hello deborah what are you doing there that's a very good question you know uh i am uh you know at the beginning when this all began uh everyone was like are you gonna go home to canada and i was like do you all think that i have like a second house sitting around lying around like it's very strange like i was like
Starting point is 00:01:56 where do you think i will go to just enter canada and someone will pick me up like i don't yeah isn't that how it goes i'm here and then someone's we gotcha and yeah and so i Like, I don't. Yeah. Isn't that how it goes? I'm here. And then someone's like, we gotcha. And yeah. And so I didn't, I don't have, I don't have anywhere to go. I really don't. I mean, I don't have anywhere to go, like, to stay comfortably for more than like two days. You know what I mean? In Canada, you mean?
Starting point is 00:02:17 Yeah. Like, you know, I'm sleeping on someone's sofa for two. But then, you know, because a couple, a couple of our comedians went home. You know, Steph Tolove, Matt O'Brien, and Julia. They went home. But, you know, it's been like four months. They've been there for four months. Yeah, that's 2,000 plus years. Their families have, yeah, have like houses that have bedrooms for them and whatever.
Starting point is 00:02:38 I'm like, that's not the case for me. So, I am trapped in the middle of it. You never asked. You could sleep here yeah that's true oh my gosh well all right i mean how's tuesday um tuesday oh tuesday's not good but but it is uh had you known it would be four months would you have re-evaluated things and it's by the way it's not over it's oh it's not over well that's the thing too as well it's um you know i don't know if this is a normal
Starting point is 00:03:11 thing but like on my lease it's like i'm not allowed to sublet we do not sublease our apartments that's not allowed so i need to have to give up my apartment and i'm just i don't want to i don't want to do that you know and then here i live here and so like going home you know unless it was going to be living somewhere for free I can't I wish but I can't afford two rents I just I just can't so I was like okay I live here so I will die here apparently
Starting point is 00:03:35 oh no two rents is not a movie to live and die in LA to live and die in LA I thought you meant two rents is a movie to live in die in la i thought you meant two rents oh no two rents also is one as well that's very nice that's a sequel to rent yeah yeah oh gosh one thousand or whatever you lose her too yep this is gonna be interesting yeah we're having some uh internet troubles but you know what it's par for the course for this demic baby these are unprecedented times i don't know if you've heard
Starting point is 00:04:11 that i feel like it is they say that a lot but like there was a pandemic a hundred years ago and i mean people didn't have to record their podcasts during it granted yeah yeah it was uh most they were still able to join in person for their podcasts they didn't know they didn't know that's how it was spread that's exactly it you see they were in social distancing yeah it's not it is precedented but uh i don't know like it's jeep that's telling us so you know it's jeep or uh little caesars that's always quick to yeah these are unprecedented times get a hot and ready so buy three pizzas for four dollars um what is your uh what's your current pizza regime guys like before the pandemic how many pizzas oh were you having a week and
Starting point is 00:05:08 and currently what are you having what am i up to i think the this weekend it's going to be pizza every night uh oh my gosh yeah i just feel like i don't want to cook anything it's hot it's hot here and yeah so i'll just i'll take pizza hut uh over cooking how about you deborah you got a pizza regime um you know what there is one place actually it's um amy schumer's husband's pizza place oh yeah it's yeah it's called prime pizza it's pretty good uh it's quite good to be honest but you know what i have um like when this when the when the course started i was like i'm gonna cook and now i'm at the point where i'm like i will i never want to cook ever again for as long as i live yeah my whole life has become dishes at this point yes oh gosh i don't like it and i feel like i only use two
Starting point is 00:06:01 dishes but somehow at the end of the day you have a big bowl and a big cup and you eat cereal out of the cup yeah i got my cereal cup and my big bowl is just a catch-all for any other food yeah you use it kind of as a saucer underneath your cup that's a good idea i just built a trough a small broth which let's be honest that's a pretty good idea that's not bad um not bad what is what is a typical day during this uh this pandemic times look for you um you know i think we all joke or a lot of comedians are like it's not really changed and that's sort of true but it's also not true you know i right, I don't, I don't sleep in. I don't, you know, I'm not going to bed super late.
Starting point is 00:06:48 I actually, I feel like my hours have gotten better. Like I have sort of a more reasonable human type schedule. Do you know what I mean? Like where I go to bed a little earlier and get up. I'm, you know, I'm still usually up every day, 730 or eight. Jeez. And yeah. That's like, that's like parent time.
Starting point is 00:07:04 It is. It's early. It's early. I feel parent time it is it's early it's early i feel like dave is mocking oh it's 7 30 is that early but um i like my kids have gone everything is slid uh later so my kids now today they woke up at nine but they go to bed at like 10 now that's crazy crazy. Yeah. I mean, that's the, the pinnacle of childhood is being able to stay up late. So, yes,
Starting point is 00:07:29 this is the, the, I mean, at the very beginning we were thinking, Oh, how traumatized will they be? Like having to go out in a mask or like, you know,
Starting point is 00:07:39 having to miss a school for however many months. And I think when they look back, they'll be like this ruled yeah we got to stay up late we got to uh our parents were home all the time to do everything for us yeah yeah yeah i think a certain age is it's pretty good i don't think teenagers are loving it but i think under the age of like seven or like, this is the greatest, this was the best of times. But what, I think even like up to like 11, cause I like,
Starting point is 00:08:08 I, at what age are you like living the comedian life? You kind of started like 10. Yeah, that's true. And then you just, you kind of convince your parents that it might be educational to watch Arsenio Hall.
Starting point is 00:08:22 Oh my gosh. Um, What was, what were you like as a teen, Deb? Oh gosh. I was appropriately, like I was sufficiently surly, you know,
Starting point is 00:08:36 I hated my mother. I hated my mother. Ooh, I was one of those. Did you write in a journal about it? Oh yeah. Diaries. I, I took me and me mom never we never got along that was there was a lot of screaming i hate you slamming of doors you know
Starting point is 00:08:51 that kind of thing wow yeah oh i i was very um which this you know even though it's funny i think back now and i go wow she was pretty good about this like i you know i would say i acted out through clothing oh okay fashion and mom never she never bothered her like she would just she would always go and say one day you were gonna be so embarrassed by these pictures and that would be it and that's all you know so really i mean honestly i was you know i i was definitely um you know depressive a little unhappy i love the smiths oh yes um you know oh goodness listen to the smiths and a 10-ton truck kills the both of us my mother be like that's nice that's nice music deborah but they you know that was it was just but i you know i grew up in a small town right so and i had
Starting point is 00:09:36 my twin sister so i did probably by mid uh high school mid teens i was ready to get out like i was already like oh i'm done i don't want to be here but generally you know i was like i was an arts kid and you know not a some angst but it was more like you know uh boyfriends i want a boyfriend i loved everyone that would never love me that kind of thing i was never really rebellious i was never you know we drank young but i don't think 14 is that even young anymore? 14, I think, was the first time that we got drunk. Is that young?
Starting point is 00:10:12 Yeah, it's on the younger side, I would say. Is it? Yeah, okay. It's a small town. That was it. And I remember, like, I'll never drink. When did you get drunk, Graham? Not that much later, but probably 15, I think, was probably the... I didn't
Starting point is 00:10:25 have a sip of alcohol till 19 because i didn't want to get arrested oh my gosh impressive oh that would suck so much the first time you drank you get arrested for it well they were talking about uh decriminalizing drugs and i was like well if i i was just waiting for myself to be legal to drink if they make heroin legal i'm just gonna do heroin i'm gonna step up my game just leapfrog right over booze what uh so you you got out of that uh small town like uh the song fast car right you had a yeah fast car you left the small town behind you and then uh like i know your sister she still lives in ontario is that right yeah she lives in stratford ontario okay that's uh yeah but you wouldn't you wouldn't consider bunking down at her
Starting point is 00:11:19 place for a couple months again it's like it's not i would are we just trying to this what's the point what is your point graham she's made a life for herself in la that's true that's true i appreciate that that you're trying to find me somewhere to yeah yeah i'm just concerned about your well-being that's all i need to that's it as well i don't know what was the last time that you did uh like that you performed before this all happened improv i think at the improv and this was the week it was the weekend i just come back from the snowed in tour oh yeah and then yeah and that i left them like on the 6th of march and then there was um i was doing a like a taping which i think has probably been benched now, I think for Netflix and that it's like,
Starting point is 00:12:06 it was a competition show. I did like a couple of days of shooting on that. Yeah. And then I did, um, I think probably the last day was when it all, when we all realized that, we're going to have to be quarantined.
Starting point is 00:12:17 It was that weekend. Like everything in my, everything in my calendar can't like canceled, bailed like on the 12th of march and it was just like you just watched everything yeah we're gonna cancel we're not gonna do a show we're not gonna do show it was like okay the improv was still going for that weekend so i did a set on the saturday night so whatever it was march 14th or whatever i did a set there and then by the monday all the clubs were like no we're closed too so then yeah that was it the last one because i'm i'm thinking about uh well i'm gonna do it i'm gonna host an outdoor show uh nice i'm wondering how bad i am
Starting point is 00:12:51 at stand-up now that it's been what uh have you i saw that you posted this on facebook but it was was there a date to it yeah there's uh but no location yet uh yeah i was keeping the location just for uh who buy tickets. You have the location? I have a location. Oh, but people will find out the day of like a rave. Damn right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:13 Nice. I have a question about your outdoor show. What's the date? It's the 24th and the 25th. So what do I do? And is it of July? And is it a, will there, it like outdoor uh oratorio style or in an amphitheater or is are you using uh um uh like a pa no i'm not using a pa because of
Starting point is 00:13:43 i don't i don't know how to get around the whole germ thing with the microphone and i don't want to like hire out you know five microphones or whatever five microphones that was gonna be my solution five tracks five microphones um yeah i uh i was just it's gonna be old school greek greek theater style, Plato and his friends, you know? Nice. You see, you're not doing Zoom shows or anything? I tried. If you tried one, I didn't care for it.
Starting point is 00:14:16 I do them quite regularly. Oh, really? Yeah, I do. Let me see. I have one tomorrow. I have one Sunday. I have one Tuesday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, um, that, that, that happened pretty quickly. Like there was, um, the first couple were,
Starting point is 00:14:35 the first couple of shows that were, that we were like, we're going to get this to go was always, uh, Instagram live, which is not as, to be honest, not as good as zoom because zoom is at least it's like, you can, you can hear people you know what i mean you can hear uh laughter and stuff right we're instagram live it's like they just smile in the in the you know in the uh comments and that's awful but um yeah they're they're pretty they're pretty exactly clapped by although heckling is much easier because it takes yeah but um but yeah it's yeah the zoom shows and there wasn't at the beginning, a lot of people were like, I will never do a Zoom show. And now everyone's like, catch me on Zoom. And you're like, yeah, of course,
Starting point is 00:15:08 because you kind of gotta. So yeah, there's, yeah, I still get on stage. Do you just do your standup on Zoom? I do, I do. Okay. I think I've seen some comics, like they're like, I'm going to do something wacky. And it, okay, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But yeah, a lot i think i've seen some comics like they're like i'm gonna do something wacky and it okay sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't um but yeah a lot of people though i've seen a
Starting point is 00:15:30 lot of people sort of like address the crowd because you know you can see everyone in their little boxes right so they kind of do that and that it actually works it's okay yeah it works does does anyone kill like does anyone have such a great set it's i don't think it's i literally don't think it's possible like i don't think it's it's human like you know what i mean i have some like i definitely have some fun and there's some shows that are like oh that was you know it was fun you know it hits the spot enough right like it does scratch the itch enough but it's not it's not right it's you know it's not correct it's not it's an affront to god it should be you know it just is the uh when you were talking about somebody trying something wacky can you remember what the
Starting point is 00:16:12 wackiest thing you've seen somebody attempt on stage oh god on stage or on zoom on stage on stage you know the first time i went to england um the very first comic that i saw perform in london uh he we were in a little pub and he pulled a cucumber out of his pants and beat uh an audience member with it i would say that is that wacky i believe it's wacky that's pretty wacky and i literally was just like what am i what's happened what are we doing what's going on right now but yeah there's a lot of wacky there's a lot of trying to be what's the wackiest. And I literally was just like, what am I? What's happened? What are we doing? What's going on right now? But yeah, there's a lot of wacky. There's a lot of trying to be. What's the wackiest thing you've seen?
Starting point is 00:16:50 I'm desperate to know. I think it was at a little show and a guy like went into the bathroom to change. And I was like, oh, no, this has been a huge mistake on my part. I'm so excited. And he came out uh dressed like jesus and uh he told a series of like borderline racist jokes like jesus would as jesus does you know how he does um but yeah it's i feel like uh what's the wackiest thing you've seen on the zoom call it's not it's not even it's not even wacky
Starting point is 00:17:25 they're like kind of trying to just like you know be in the room and tell you know tell stories and sort of like you know it's i find that a lot of the times instead of just doing their jokes people kind of like you know make fun of the zoom and make fun of the you know what is this stupid and it's just like just have a just tell some of your jokes yeah that seems to be yeah i just get up and fucking tell my jokes i just throw down hi everybody maybe in the room for a second i'd be like let's do it and then i just rip through which is really how i sort of do comedy anyway but you know how it is yeah when this is over are people is there's going to be like a time of uh where people like have just nothing but material like all the material is about uh quarantine yeah and then when it's how long before you
Starting point is 00:18:14 have to have new material after that before like he's still doing his quarantine well that's the thing how long is this gonna last that's the only thing right i mean who knows we could be 2022 and we're still telling quarantine and pandemic jokes but um i don't know i give it a hot month i give you a month i'm very strict let's forget let's put this behind us what do you think like how soon after uh you know if things pass do you think they'll make a romantic comedy about being in quarantine with somebody? It's in the works right now. Casting is already on it. I feel like it's going to be
Starting point is 00:18:52 who is it? Chalamet for sure. Timothee Chalamet for sure. What's your dream cast for this movie? Oh gosh. Has anyone ever come up with an M. Night Chalamet? Has anyone ever come up with an M. Nightshallamay? Has anyone said that?
Starting point is 00:19:08 They have now, and I'm jazzed for it. I'm glad I was here to see it. You know? The birth of it, yeah. Oh, yeah. But that's for sure happening. I'm sure that there's already a sitcom already been greenlit. You know, there's got to be.
Starting point is 00:19:23 Yeah, because I feel like the closest equivalent is that like they made all these war tv shows in the 50s like gomer pile and all this it's happening we but we all know we all know i think it's also too it's like you know it'll be like friends but in quarantine they're trapped yeah central kate lee they basically lived in quarantine on that show they did anyway they did they really never mixed with other people they they kept to their own yeah they were in their own apartments and then just that one coffee shop well technically it would only be safe for you to all have sex with each other yeah so let's work on that okay done um yeah is there any uh skill or talent that you've been able to kind of work on during this time gosh i wish um
Starting point is 00:20:17 i i feel very intimidated like there's a lot of like intimidation towards that and people like i i'm a beautiful furniture maker like you know what there is um uh a friend works at walmart and he said like the things that are you cannot get right now like there's like certain okay apparently all baking supplies right because they're nothing you can't like that it's the one thing like all-purpose flour baking gone done because everyone in the world is like i bake now now i'm a baker yeah and then also one thing that was um at for walmart as well puzzles jigsaw puzzles all right yeah yeah yeah and of course i was very smart and i ordered like four the minute this
Starting point is 00:21:05 happened i was like getting some puzzles and i've got some puzzles and i'm i'm not dumb i was like i will stock up and also a microwave popcorn apparently was a big one that they couldn't keep on the shelves as well right really you know you can just microwave regular popcorn you just buy it but buy the non-microwave kind of microwave. The start of quarantine, I remember baking supplies all disappeared. And now, I don't know if demand has just met or supply has met demand or if just people aren't baking as much anymore. But we are still, we are a loaf of bread a week. Oh, really? Wow.
Starting point is 00:21:43 Yeah. Wow. Nice. And it doesn't always really? Wow. Yeah. Wow. Nice. And it doesn't always turn out great. Yeah. And I still haven't figured out what makes a good one and a bad one. I made the best one this week. It was so light and fluffy, but I couldn't tell you.
Starting point is 00:21:59 Like, it's the same recipe every week, but sometimes it's just... You have no idea what happened. Yeah, it's just flat and dull. Yeah, I tried to make banana bread the other day, and it was a fucking mess. It still tasted like banana bread, but it did not look like banana bread. It was just kind of like concave,
Starting point is 00:22:21 which is not what you're looking for. You want a nice dome on that i don't know what you would have done to make it do that because banana bread is a bit of a bit of a just a slab anyway i know you think you'd be able to god bless you it's not the prettiest bread i mean it's delicious but it doesn't even like we don't think of it and go god's a good looking bread and then you uh then you made it worse somehow which is yeah somehow i don't think you're supposed to like improvise during baking it's cooking where you can throw baking is yeah baking is science uh cooking is passion yeah baking is chemistry yeah um like they show you on the uh great british bake off
Starting point is 00:23:03 is that what's called oh yeah yeah it's called? Oh, so good. Yeah. God, that's a good show. Have you ever seen something on there that you wish you could have in your life, but we don't really have it here because it's all English weird? Oh, they've got so many things. They've got so many things. They're like, it's the trestle cake.
Starting point is 00:23:20 You're like, what are you talking about? What is happening? You've made that up right now. Yeah. They do have a lot of things that just seem to be second nature to them. fake you're like what are you talking about what is happening you've made that up right now yeah you have a lot of things that just seem to be like second nature to them like you could maybe find them here but like they're just like everyone knows what that is they're filthy with it do you know what i mean that we like yes whatever i can't think i can absolutely blank but like treacle treacle wasn't treacle just just molasses isn't it it seems like it feel like it's shakespeare
Starting point is 00:23:48 was the last person to eat treacle and no i don't know they have it all the time treacle cakes okay i'm sorry to all the british listeners because i'm i'm being a dick but they're used to it the uh i remember like movie reviewers would call a movie treacle and i was like i don't know what that means oh it seems mean enough like saccharin yeah yeah yeah it's very syrupy cute but it's a very enjoyable show though i will say you is there anything that you've watched that has brought you great comfort in this time in these unprecedented times um what did i watch that i oh normal people oh goodness did you watch that oh is that what amanda was talking about a couple weeks ago yeah all the sex and it didn't yes and it didn't did it bring me comfort not really
Starting point is 00:24:39 i was sort of upset with it because it was like what are you doing you love each other that kind of thing but it was it was good it was it was because it was like, what are you doing? You love each other, that kind of thing. But it was, it was good. It was, it was just, it was good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:49 I cried. I, you know, I spent private time. I did all the things. It was very, a lot of, a lot going on, a lot,
Starting point is 00:24:57 a lot going on. I just started watching, uh, Perry Mason. Oh yeah. The new one. The new one. There's a new watching Perry Mason. Oh, yeah. The new one. The new one? There's a new HBO Perry Mason.
Starting point is 00:25:09 Oh, my gosh. Do you know this, Graham? Yes. Somebody told me he's like a detective in it. Yeah. What was he originally? A lawyer. Was he?
Starting point is 00:25:19 Yeah. Perry Mason was like a law firm. So this was before he became a lawyer. Are you thinking about Ironsides? Are they both Raymond Burr? They're both lawyer. Are you thinking about Ironsides? Are they both Raymond Burr? They're both Raymond Burr. What was Ironsides? Ironsides was the same thing, but in a wheelchair. Was he a lawyer too?
Starting point is 00:25:33 He was something. Maybe a lawyer, maybe a doctor? But for sure, Perry Mason was a law show. But yeah, this Perry Mason is the guy from the americans did you ever watch that no everybody tells me it's good um he's also you would remember him graham from the bradley cooper movie burnt where he was the rival chef yes yes that's my uh thermometer of knowing stuff it It's whatever the Bradley Cooper equivalent,
Starting point is 00:26:05 but yeah, it's, I never watched the original Perry Mason. It was, that was one of those things that was like, how was this still, that was for your parents when, when they had reruns of like, you know,
Starting point is 00:26:16 uh, you know, leave it to beaver. And, uh, like even in my childhood, they still had leave it to beaver and Brady bunch and Gilligan's Island. But I, when they were still Perry Mason on on i thought that was so strange yeah oh yeah yeah and like you say dev it was it was show for adults only i remember it came on after a show
Starting point is 00:26:37 it was a canadian tv show that starred mr t as a guy who's working on the side of the law. He's working. It's him and a... Mr. T with glasses? Yeah, Mr. T with glasses. And he was, I think he was a lawyer and she was a lawyer and it was called TNT. And so I'd always watch TNT. I have a recollection of that.
Starting point is 00:27:01 Yeah, that was like so perfect in my head as a show that should exist. Like, Mr. T's moved to a different show, aside from the A-Team, but he's still Mr. T. How is he, I wonder?
Starting point is 00:27:18 How is he doing well? Mr. T? How is Mr. T? Is he still with us? He's still with us, yeah. He was in like Verizon commercials or something like that. How old would you guess Mr. T is? I'm going to say 73. 65.
Starting point is 00:27:35 I'm going to say 69. Let's all look at it. Let's find out. I love this game. This is one of my favorite games. Mr. T. Find out how old someone is 68
Starting point is 00:27:46 68 well dave went over i went over who was 65 i was 65 we play by price is right rules do we not live my life by them i also googled mr t age and mr t feet
Starting point is 00:28:04 just cause why not is he a big deal on wiki feet dave oh no there's some there's some shots of them from the battle of the network stars oh yeah battle of the network stars was that was that a thing in your home oh yeah yeah that was um that was that was a a thing in your home oh yeah yeah that was um that was that was a friday night show oh yeah i remember there was like a lot of donny and marie yeah you know the osm the osmonds right that was a friday night show sunny and share was a friday night show for a while this how old i am that was that was terrific uh and then what else was it and battle the network stars was for sure i don't know if that was weekly or if it was like once a month i feel like it's a summer replacement yes i think so
Starting point is 00:28:50 like yeah i think it was like a ninja warrior but just you know and it would be like yeah and have a look there tina yothers is making uh she's paddling through the pool at pepperdine university yep that's exactly she. She's against Clinger from MASH. Oh, no! There's no way he didn't. On the Sonny and Cher show, I only know it kind of in the abstract, but what was it?
Starting point is 00:29:17 It was a variety show. So, like, they would sing, and then would they do sketches? I don't remember. I don't have clear clear clear memory of it but like what i remember i loved i loved because they would start off the show and do a monologue the two of them right and it was very saucy and he was always like share was the funny one and sunny was the one that always gotten chewy as you know was always picking on sunny right always
Starting point is 00:29:41 always and then they used they would sing something and then there would be a series of sketches. There'd be a guest. That guest would maybe perform later. They would be in the sketches. Right. I don't know if Mr. T was on it. It might be too early for him, but he would have killed it.
Starting point is 00:29:58 He would have done a great job if he was. He kind of debuted on, or as a TV guy, on the show B the canadian show bizarre is mr t canadian and i'm missing something if i miss something he just likes it up here oh well good time um yeah bizarre was great that was i mean seriously what about um super dave remember remember Super Dave that's where he was that's where he was from was from the old Bazaar
Starting point is 00:30:28 show that's of course that's where he got his star right yeah yeah and like uh I guess in the 70s or maybe early 80s John Biner was like the height of comedy is he from Bazaar he's the he's the guy
Starting point is 00:30:44 that's in every sketch okay i don't know but i bizarre was something that uh was a canadian 70s variety show 70s or early early 80s early 80s and then i never saw it when it was on i never saw it was i never heard anyone talk about it until it was the comedy network used to replay old episodes because they didn't make new ones. And they that and Smith Smith and Smith was the other one. Never watched that either. Never, ever. I used to watch Smith and Smith every week.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Hated it, but still would watch it because it was still television. What was another show that you hated, but you sort of had to watch? Do you remember? Is there anything um i feel like if i wanted to stick around the tv i had to watch like dynasty i feel like that was a show that i was like i'll watch it it's fine we just talked about last week like oh our parents are letting us stay up and watch murphy brown my the one i remember was awful was um it was sunday night we would go to my grandparents house for dinner and it was lawrence welk and what was what was that show is that i can't even describe you hear that lawrence welk that's what it was whatever you're thinking
Starting point is 00:31:59 in your head that's what it was it was basically it was it was a bubble machine it was a music show but like for like near dead people. So like, yeah, this is me doing an impression of, hello, I'm Lawrence. Let's poke.
Starting point is 00:32:12 And that was it. It was, it was poke a band. And like, and it would be like, it's the Shane sisters. And they would come on with long dresses and they would sing as a trio. It was awful. it was the worst
Starting point is 00:32:25 thing that ever happened and i was seven and i was like it was so terrible because we knew the magical world of disney was on and we wanted to watch that but grandpa wanted to watch so we were watching warren's well yeah that magical world of disney was uh was very uh that is like synonymous with the sunday blues that like yeah that feeling of like oh we gotta go to school tomorrow i've run out of opportunities to do my homework i had 48 hours oh gosh yeah totally yeah on magical world of disney i feel like you'd either hit the jackpot with a with an animated thing or you'd have to watch a terrible live action thing the computer war what what's herbie up to it wasn't always great it wasn't always great it really wasn't you know
Starting point is 00:33:19 escape to witch mountain or something you're like what's this what's happening that's something uh we have disney plus now and it has everything and it has but like obviously the kids don't want to watch that first of all i don't want to go to witch mountain at all yeah that's true it wasn't escape from i think it was escape two does it i think you're right i think think it was Escape 2. Why would we do that? It's a terrible thing. Yeah, it was always, I feel like Sunday night was always Magical World to Disney and then 60 Minutes came on and you were, that was it, man. That was you finished.
Starting point is 00:33:56 Go to bed. I think you're forgetting a very important block of America's Funniest Videos and People. That's right. A show that's still on? America's Funniest Home Videos? Yeah, hosted by Alfonso
Starting point is 00:34:14 Ribeiro. It's Carlton from what's it called? Fresh Prince. You know his real name. For knowing his real name. Well, because he played Alfonso on uh silver spoons really that was a good show what was silver spoons i remember it being on but i don't think i ever watched it did the kid have a train
Starting point is 00:34:36 is there something about a kid had a train there was just rich is rich right so was he adopted yeah i was gonna say what was the story i think is yeah that's what it was wasn't it because they had to be hitched there somewhere yeah the 80s were big into adoption shows with punky brewster and different strokes and webster yeah they really were wow what was going on was there a big movement i don't know i don't remember i don't know like uh but you're right because wasn't um it was not no and also fused families was one like a lot of like mixed families that uh they you know they hadn't been divorced always the partner had died yeah we could know if someone was divorced they were unmarriable on tv like this america wasn't ready for a divorced person.
Starting point is 00:35:27 You're damaged. No one will ever love you. But if your husband or wife fell into a snake pit, that's then worse. Snake it around at 9 o'clock snake by snake um
Starting point is 00:35:49 dave what's going on with you man uh well did i tell you i started watching perry mason it's all right um do they have the same theme song? Yeah, they got it. I keep thinking, because no one's going to remember this, but in the 90s, Ozzy Osbourne had a single called Perry Mason. It's in my head all the time. Who can we get on the case? We need Perry Mason anything? yeah I remember when Ozzy Osbourne
Starting point is 00:36:29 and his wife held a variety show before they went on to reality TV but the other thing I've been watching so I talked about a few weeks ago how anyone basically anyone I'm friends with on Facebook,
Starting point is 00:36:47 I, I'm still friends with you, but I have unfollowed you because I, I do not want to just keep scrolling down my phone all day long while I'm supposed to be an example for my children. But I still do open Facebook quite a bit. And, uh, but I only see my family and graham because he's like family thank you um and i but then it just suggests videos for me and the thing it suggests all the time are this this thing called crafty panda okay what i'm doing too it's just like if i didn't watch the
Starting point is 00:37:29 videos all the way through it would stop suggesting them but it is just people making stuff like do you want this person is making a uh like a lamp shade out of uh uh you know just bits of plastic and uh or bits of wood and some kind of green glass and they're uh you know using a lathe to shave off the edges and anything with a lathe i'm all like i. Like, I just want to see. I love seeing all the, like, chunks of wood and, you know, epoxy just getting chiseled off. Deb, are you a crafty person at all? No. No, I'm not. You know, at the beginning, I thought, oh, this is what I'll do.
Starting point is 00:38:22 I was trying to think of just things to, you know, fill time right so i did i thought i would try to do embroidery um the lacrosse stitch a little because i saw some friends doing it it looks so pretty and it's sitting over there it's just in a pile i ordered weights yeah it's in a big pile right now of all the things that i haven't done um yeah but that's i was like this is what i'll do and i just never do fair enough at least that's like manageable you don't need a bunch of tools for that like the things i'm watching i'm like this would be cool except i would need to buy tens of thousands of dollars of tools to do this stuff and lose my thumbs because i have no training that's true like at least with cross stitch you can be like oh i poked myself yeah oh well oh that's it and now i'm done that'll be all it's not but the um uh
Starting point is 00:39:12 and like there was one i watched that was like people making a concrete floor that uh but like we'll make it look like it's wood and so you just instead of just making it wood yeah like it's and that's what every comment is it my highlight is reading the comments and they're all like well why didn't you just do the cheaper way that would have worked just as well or yeah that but this created so much waste and i could have bought that for five dollars at loads yeah i feel like i'm seeing a lot of that like um on like tiktok or whatever do you mean like where people like a 17 year old girl's like i'm gonna redo my bedroom and then she gets out like a bandsaw it's insane you're like what's who are you it's you know i mean it's not just like i'm gonna
Starting point is 00:40:05 paint this while pink they don't they they rip out a stove it's a lot it's just like wow okay deborah are you are you on tiktok listen i have joined tiktok i don't i'm not good at it i don't know what the kids want i don't know what they want. So basically, I'm there. I posted like six things. Nobody likes any of them. I'm there to watch. I'm there to look. I'm a lucky Lou. Because Graham's on there too. I thought Graham was the oldest person
Starting point is 00:40:36 I knew. Yeah, but I'm only on it. I'm the same with Deb. I've never been brave enough to put my own video up. It would kill me that it gets zero likes yeah well that's the thing too and it's awful it hurts my heart because it's just like okay yeah but it feels like on tiktok like there's either like very very interesting things like you know what i mean like where it's it's money it's funny it's funny and smart new word uh funny and smart
Starting point is 00:41:02 and interesting and you're like look at that and then it's like teenage girls crying do you mean like there's there's there's no halfway there's no halfway it is like either like what are you doing with your life or like holy fuck look at you like you don't mean like it's yeah it's impressive or embarrassing as hell yeah i guess i uh i should just join tiktok instead of constantly googling teenage girls crying you would save so much time yeah and get off a lot of lists be able to go back to your church what anyway i don't know what that means but it felt right no my church is into it oh my god Yeah, I go to a weird crying church.
Starting point is 00:41:45 They've got their own TikTok. Yeah. But yeah, so that's me. I'm watching just like whatever, like I love the algorithm. I love, yeah. I hate that I love the algorithm, but I love what it's showing. Yeah, yeah. I feel like I would never search for this stuff.
Starting point is 00:42:06 What other crafty kind of thing? What other things have you picked up during the quarantine? Oh, I, and the thing is like, yeah, I puzzles fixing bread. What are we doing?
Starting point is 00:42:15 Oh, uh, yeah. Bread. Yeah. But I'm like, uh, I've taught,
Starting point is 00:42:20 I've talked about this before. I have no extra time. I'm, uh, I, I have a job. I make this podcast and I have no extra time. I'm, uh, I, I have a job. I make this podcast and I have the kids who do not go anywhere. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:30 That's it. It must be like for, you know, at first I remember thinking like, Oh my gosh, my sister's so lucky. She's, she's got a family.
Starting point is 00:42:37 She's not alone. And now I'm like, I feel so sorry for her. It's entertaining children all day long. Like all day long. It's just, it's gotta be exhausting. Yeah, all day long it's just gotta be exhausting yeah no it is
Starting point is 00:42:46 I did not know we would have a pandemic when we had the kids I would have rethought but I would have maybe timed things a little differently
Starting point is 00:43:02 it would be great to have a 20-year-old kid right now. So, yeah, you're in love with the algorithm. Yeah. What's up with you? So, you know, a lot of time indoors and really getting to know my neighborhood very intimately because it's the only thing. We didn't talk about this the last time, but I saw you in public. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:31 I was sitting in a like pop up, not garden. Yeah, plaza. Yeah. Yeah. And I was, I had come from the grocery store and I was wearing a mask and you didn't recognize me. No, exactly. I can't tell. You thought I was a creep who recognized you. Yeah. And so
Starting point is 00:43:51 I'm getting to know the characters in my neighborhood. You are the people in your neighborhood. Yeah, that's right. Because there's no way I would have figured out what house for sure has kids, and who are the old people in my neighborhood, or who are the kind of troublemakers. I've gotten to know them all. But there's a guy down the alley from me that has four or five houses down, and he's playing either a xylophone or like a kalimba or something like that
Starting point is 00:44:25 and he's just playing it like if he plays it he'll play it for several hours in a row it's out in his garden he's playing this thing and uh the neighborhood seems to hate it right my uh how do you know because the people who lived upstairs were yelling at him to close his window because they didn't know where the sound was coming from uh is it in his yard it's in his yard yeah oh he can't close his window no exactly well maybe his uh somebody that lives in his house closes the window so they wouldn't hear it but uh yeah that's i've gotten to know the is it called a kalimba or a Marimba? Or am I making up two things? A Kalimba is the thumb piano, I think.
Starting point is 00:45:09 Oh yeah, that's not what this is. It's something that has like mallets. It's all the phone-ish. Yeah. Mallets, mallets. Wow. So gotten to know the people in my neighborhood. And the other thing is I've been looking for some kind of job.
Starting point is 00:45:28 And I applied to a website that does dating profiles for people who are too busy to do their own dating profiles. Too busy? How are you that busy? My goodness. Then you're too busy and a surgeon exactly you don't deserve love but you know like for your but you know your bruce waynes and etc that has all their time does alfred not do that
Starting point is 00:46:00 that does feel like an alfred job um so this was like particularly like multi-leveled kind of interview process or application process um i never got interviewed but uh you had to submit a resume you had to tell them why you love online dating and then you had to write a sample thing like if somebody told you they were into yoga what would be your you know your icebreaker and I started it
Starting point is 00:46:35 with namaste and then it went off the rails from there if someone told you that you were into yoga what would be your icebreaker yeah okay well enjoy your yoga uh that's the opposite of icebreak that's you leaving a conversation good luck let's talk about something else yeah so it's uh it was a very weird process but i didn't get it and they actually sent me like an email saying like thanks for applying but no thanks which is nice because you don't
Starting point is 00:47:12 usually get that yeah in a in an application process but can you imagine that as a job where you're like learning about somebody and then trying to mimic what they are as a person online are people online dating during this yes yeah probably yeah it got it at the very beginning it was uh like the numbers increase a lot it was something like i'm gonna mess up the exact stats but it was like there was um 300 3.2 million users on Tinder, and then it went to like 3.9 in a week or something. Oh, wow. It just jumped. Yeah, well, that's not right. People shouldn't be doing that.
Starting point is 00:47:54 But if you're a couple, and you're in the early stages, and you're not living together, are you going on Zoom dates? Or are you opening your bubble? Yes, that's what... This is what this is what, this is what they're doing. They go on, they do FaceTime dates.
Starting point is 00:48:07 And then when, after a couple of FaceTime dates, they go on a socially distant walk. Oh yeah. And I know this because my friend Zach, this is, he's, this is what he's doing.
Starting point is 00:48:17 This is, this is what he does. And a couple of my girlfriends have done the same thing. Your friend, Zach, what is like the beginning stages of a relationship and has to do just dating just dating still you know still trying to meet people and it's not really stopped people people are still trying to meet someone and
Starting point is 00:48:34 you know and that's that's what they're doing facetime dates and stuff yeah what i yeah like what about at a certain point do you have to like it's been four months and we've just been going on facetime dates or just socially just i guess do you do you take a test and then go yeah do you i don't know i wonder what that step is in a relationship of like well uh i know let's go get our our nostrils let's go get a test and a ring right i mean like seriously let's go get our brains probed via our nose and then let's do some other probing yeah and then hello yeah like it seems like if there if this was a zombie uh apocalypse kind of thing eventually people would like be like okay we're stranded inside forever let's see who's
Starting point is 00:49:26 online yeah yes and then according to what's happening now a lot of people would be like i'm gonna fuck a zombie i okay i was on the dating apps at the very beginning and i'll tell you something it was i knew i was like okay this is this is not right because it was i was getting very good numbers like i'm not kidding like the kind of dudes that i was like no something's wrong you're scared the world's ending because i was too men too hot like too i'm not joking but then but then you know what it was it was like a lot of dudes and i okay so i was okay on tinder and whatever and then i was gone by april 1st because i was like i'm just like men going
Starting point is 00:50:10 so who cares you want to come over and i was like dude like we're in a quarantine and they it just it showed the really worst in people because a lot of guys were just like whatever okay let's risk it you know i mean i get that because the world is ending. I just want to spread my seed. Exactly. Exactly.
Starting point is 00:50:33 Yeah. So I left. I left. So I don't know if anyone else is having success or not. Well, you know what? You never know. One of the people you clicked on may have had their whole profile written by some schlub. You?
Starting point is 00:50:44 Oh, by some schlub that took. You? Oh, by some schlub that took the job. Oh, God. Mr. T. Your profile's written by Mr. T. I pay the full that doesn't date me! I like to travel, but not on a plane. These are all
Starting point is 00:50:59 Mr. T. How much does your gold weigh? Okay. If you don't have seven pounds of gold on not interested yeah loves golden jewelry seeking same yeah you know how that jewelry thing got started have i ever talked about that on the no i feel like you told me this 10 years ago yeah it's still i feel like you have to but i feel like we need a refresher uh he was is to t was a bouncer at a at like a very popular nightclub
Starting point is 00:51:36 and people would somehow during the course of the evening lose their necklaces or their rings and so he would just wear them outside so people wouldn't be allowed to go back into the club after they lost the thing so he would always wear them and whichever one was theirs he'd give it back or maybe he gave them a nicer one oh and then when it started to collect
Starting point is 00:51:58 because people never picked it up and then he was just like alright he was the lost and found I like it I don't know if you did tell me that story and i love it it's a good story it's a very wholesome yeah it's wholesome yeah and uh i like i like my mr t's story is wholesome because you know what i love mr d are there any i don't think he's a rare like he was such a tough guy yeah i don't think i ever heard any non-wholesome stories about him yeah with the heart of gold
Starting point is 00:52:32 like i was i heard the story about it every time he like met someone and they shook his hand he would be like ah you're hurting my hand like he would pretend someone hurt his hand yes that's the best uncle move in the book. Yeah, I do that now because it really does. I'm very proud of it. Well, it's because of all that cross-stitching. Cross-stitching, I'm telling you. Snapping bones.
Starting point is 00:52:54 I won't lie to you. Well, should we move on to a little bit of business? Oh, hey, everybody. Hey, everyone. Oh, it's that time of year it's the time of year where we max fun drive it up and where we ask you the listener if you're interested in supporting the show uh are you are you still interested yeah are you remember how we talked earlier are you interested yeah he's still interested do Yeah. Remember how we talked earlier? Are you interested? Yeah. He's still interested in that. Do you remember last week when you were kind of interested and we were like, will you be interested next week?
Starting point is 00:53:32 Yeah. But, you know, for those who were interested, let me tell you, it's the time of year where if you are feeling like you got some cash on you and you're, you're ready to throw it around. Um, you know, uh, Richie rich style. Yeah, sure. Um,
Starting point is 00:53:50 so whoever makes a rain in a club into club style. Yeah. And I forget silver spoons. My favorite show. Yes. Um, well, this is the time of year.
Starting point is 00:54:00 Well, we ask you to support our show. Our show is 100% supported by members of maximumfund.org and if you would like to become a member we would sure appreciate it it would certainly keep us off the street and keep graham from having to write uh profiles for people on tinder horny profiles oh you didn't say how horny it was no it didn't i guess it's not but i just felt going into it like i'm gonna be the king of smut i'm gonna be the uh you know who is it the people versus larry flint i'm gonna be the
Starting point is 00:54:31 larry flint of this job and i'm gonna be the people uh well if you would like to support the show if you think of it this way uh do you listen to the show every week do you think it should be a free thing that just you turn on the faucet and the show comes out or do you think of it as like huh what else do i get every week i buy a couple cups of coffee i pay for those uh yeah maybe i should it's not just a coffee spout yeah maybe i should pay for this show uh if that makes sense to you uh great if not you are a monster but uh for those of you who are not monsters and are in the position to support the show we would love you to head over to maximumfun.org join now it should be said that if you're uh
Starting point is 00:55:27 there's all different levels you can donate at yeah five dollars a month you get uh all the bonus content ten dollars a month you get uh well graham's about to tell you yeah if you do ten dollars a month uh you get our great enamel pin um from this year which is dave it's a uh a picture of my dearly beloved late great dog grandpa and he's carrying a bindle and it says well off i go and it's yeah it's very it's an emotional Yes. And if you donate, you can get that emotional pin. And if you're at $10 a month, it's like achievement unlocked. You will have the ability to purchase any of the pins from the MaxFun store. That's only for $10 a month.
Starting point is 00:56:20 If you're not up to it, then you can never buy these. a month if you're uh if you're not up to it then you can never buy these this week all our members at ten dollars and above have an option to purchase additional pins from the store and all proceeds from the additional pin purchases go to charity and there are so many great ones to choose and uh you know what we really appreciate all of our listeners we it really does feel like we're part of a a community and as we said before if this time of year if this uh pandemic has left you without any funds we're still putting out the show you can still listen to it for free but you are not one of those uh faucet monsters yeah exactly um if you uh if you feel like you're okay during this time and you want to express kind of your commitment to the community
Starting point is 00:57:10 that this show builds, then this is a good time to do it. And that's all I got to say about that. Yeah, if you want us to be able to keep making the show, you go to MaximumFun.org slash join and sign up. $10 a month, you can grab yourself this pin and additional pins as well for a great cause want to move on to the overheards boy do i overheard overheards time where you if you're lucky enough to hear something or see something, maybe close to you within your bubble, as they would say, it's your duty not to keep it to yourself, but to report it here on the podcast.
Starting point is 00:57:54 And every time we do this, we like to start with the guest. Debra, would you lead the charge? I will. Okay. I know that we always do an overheard and I was just like, how am I going to do this? I'm never anywhere. I'm by myself all the time. What and I was just like, how am I going to do this? I'm never anywhere. I'm by myself all the time. What's going to happen.
Starting point is 00:58:08 But today I went to Trader Joe's. I was just like, all right, grab some stuff. And I'd been putting it out there and I was like, okay, bring it, bring it to me.
Starting point is 00:58:14 And, and the overheard gods dropped one into my lap. Okay. So I'm at Trader Joe's. I'm waiting. I'm just about to get in line, socially distant. And I was like,
Starting point is 00:58:22 maybe I'll get some flowers for myself. And there was a woman, you know, looking at the selection and i kind of was you know socially distant so i she couldn't didn't see me and as she was going through the flowers she said she said to herself you're fucking right i deserve flowers and then she looked over at me and she was like sometimes i forget people can still hear me through the mask and i was like yeah and then we had a little giggle and it was lovely it was a lovely direction i do have that like with the masks where i'm like well if i'm not supposed to be around people i'm not supposed to make eye contact with anyone either that's how it spread through eye contact.
Starting point is 00:59:05 Um, Dave, do you have an overheard? Oh boy. Let's see. Um, uh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:59:13 Okay. Let's use this one. So my, uh, uh, we, we had our, uh, my niece came over the other day to do some outdoor play with my daughters.
Starting point is 00:59:27 Okay. And, uh, they were playing in the yard and uh they had water balloons and they were throwing water balloons at each other and one of them uh didn't explode and my niece picked it up and was blowing it up oh yeah and because when you buy what when you get water balloons now you don't like when i was a kid water balloons you you had to take a regular balloon attach it to the faucet and it would blow up now you buy like they are uh they come on this like uh hose you attach this thing to your hose and the hose fills 50 water balloons at the same time and they're tied shut with uh elastic bands okay if the water comes out you can still probably blow into it i've never tried but my niece was doing it and she was showing off that hey check out this balloon i blew up and margo uh was like oh i uh that's pretty cool i guess i can't do that
Starting point is 01:00:21 and my niece said and not in like a mean way and not like to, to like make her feel bad. She was like, maybe I'm just a little more talented than you. Yes. I found a secret skill that you do not possess. Yeah. I mean,
Starting point is 01:00:39 yeah, maybe I just learned it and you didn't. And I'm just, I guess like, I guess I'm better than you, but like, it's not a big deal. Um,
Starting point is 01:00:48 uh, mine is a, an overseen. It's something I saw. Um, I was just had the TV running all day. Like I put on CNN or CBC or whatever the hell it was. And it was just in the background.
Starting point is 01:01:02 And then during the daytime, the, the ads are very targeted towards uh the senior experience um you know uh life insurance and stuff like that different but at nighttime it's for kids yeah that's right um but there was an ad you know this style of ad where they show the person having so much trouble with the conventional way of doing things there's gotta be an easier way yeah it's gotta be an easier way
Starting point is 01:01:28 so this was an ad for like a chair an office chair and when they showed the guy the before guy he was typing on his laptop sitting on the toilet so this guy has no chairs in his face
Starting point is 01:01:47 was this was it where his pants down no his pants were up but that it made it look like don't do this in the bathroom still get a chair away don't you yeah now graham you're uh you've recently become a park chair guy guy who brings a chair to the park that's right how's that any updates on that um i i've taken to uh drinking around the back of my apartment building because there's a little patch of grass there and i wait were you drinking in the park illegally yes yes absolutely you become a criminal now yeah's right. What kind of chair? Could you describe the chair to me? It's like,
Starting point is 01:02:27 uh, it's like a folds into a kind of a, uh, almost like a full robot to a tube kind of thing. Yeah. It folds into a robot. And then I ride that to the park. Um,
Starting point is 01:02:42 but it's not like one of those ones where it's like a square and then you fold up the legs on the back kind of thing. It's like that old school one. It's, it's like four posts kind of deal. Oh, so I've been drinking in the park. I love it.
Starting point is 01:02:56 I'll never not do it. It's my new favorite thing. And I wouldn't have known about it if it weren't for this whole situation. You know what I mean? See? Yeah. Yeah. yeah is that what about that that's anything good to come of the pandemic uh i don't know that's a good question i don't think so no it's i mean there are like little bits of conventions or laws that people may never go back to. Like, you know, people who were told that they could never telecommute to their job are realizing that that was all bullshit and they could, they totally could. Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Starting point is 01:03:41 They totally could. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And like there's restaurants here that now when you get takeout, you can get alcohol takeout and that doesn't need to go back. Yeah. The old way. That's rad. Yeah. And also getting booze delivered to your house.
Starting point is 01:03:54 Even radder. Yeah. Now. What about I think a lot of it like people are realizing, too, they don't need to go into the office as much as they did. Yeah. Right. That's like meetings can happen at home home and i hope that continues for people yeah i also am not keen to go back to the handshake i'm fine without the handshake oh my god then like
Starting point is 01:04:16 the hugging uh uh like you don't hug someone when you meet them no the first time but like but i do french them yes but like sometimes you meet someone and you'll hang out with them for a little while and then a hug goodbye like that's way too soon to be hugging yeah yeah like it's like uh elaine and the sponge are you touch worthy are you hug worthy exactly i but i i have i like a handshake i really do do you i'm a i'm a handshaker. Do you always? Because this has always been the convention with stand-up is you shake hands with the host before you go to the mic. So I don't know.
Starting point is 01:04:52 I don't know if we'll ever see that again. Maybe we won't. Wow. Yeah. We're going to lose the handshake. I think because everybody's going to have to plug their own mic in and walk it over to the stand. And then. Oh, God.
Starting point is 01:05:04 Do I need to get a mic? What yeah oh god do i need to get a mic what kind of mic do i need to get you have one you're talking into one can i bring this into i bring this to a comedy club no why not you can yeah i would get so uh for the lister before the show uh this is this is deborah's first time using the mic is that true yes and about this whole system we appreciate it it didn't come with a windsock, so I have a literal sock on it. It's chilly. Yes, it didn't come with a windsock. And now that sock is orphaned.
Starting point is 01:05:30 That's it. There's only one sock? Yeah, it's suckaloo. Now, in addition to our overheards, sometimes people send in their overheards from around the world. Yes. And if you want to do so, you can send it in to spy at Maximalfun.org and this first one mostly I'm reading it because
Starting point is 01:05:50 it is from Melbourne, Australia and it's everything you would want an overheard from Australia to be oh boy I don't even want to say anything I'm Jess M from Melbourne Melbourne, Australia. I was walking by myself at dusk through a
Starting point is 01:06:07 seaside park. There was also a family there having a picnic. Five kangaroos started slowly hopping across the park. I'm joking. Eating grass and nuzzling each other. This beautiful scene was interrupted by a panicked
Starting point is 01:06:23 seven-year-old saying, Quick! You climb up that tree so the kangaroo can't eat you! Go! Oh no! But as soon as I read the kangaroo thing, I was like, this, the overheard, it's making the cut. The kangaroo was surfing on a
Starting point is 01:06:40 crocodile. Drinking a Koala Springs. crocodile drinking a koala springs uh do you guys remember koala springs of course i don't know if it was anywhere but here though you must have had it no i remember that you remember koala springs yeah no i don't no i don't i remember kokanee sorry no koala springs was like a carbonated um juice. Juice, yeah. Yeah. Well, I like the sounds of it.
Starting point is 01:07:08 Because there was that... It came in a bottle. Yeah, it was that stretch of time when Australia was like, we like Australian culture. Yeah. The Dundee time. Shortly after, very shortly after. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:19 Between Yahoo Sirius and Crocodile Dundee. Yeah. Oh, gosh. It was a hot week hot week um there was a paul hogan hosted the oscars one year he did oh my god yeah what the hell co-hosted with an alligator crocodile yeah no with goldie hawn am i right about that i don't know i hope you are i know that there was one year that uh peewee herman was uh giving out an award and robocop showed up and shot like uh whatever the t1000
Starting point is 01:07:55 or whatever the other model of robocop was so it's that's a clip if you've never heard of it google it online i it sounds too good to be true exactly yeah it's got all the things right it was hosted by are you looking up uh yeah 1987 the oscars hosted by chevy chase goldie hawn and paul hogan wow hosts now they have no hosts yeah maybe they blew all their budget on that hogan was so expensive also like the two of those people if they had twitter their twitter would have like been the reason they couldn't host like we dug up this old tweet from chevy chase turns out he's the worst um this next one comes from colin t from arizona i was at a Hobby Lobby.
Starting point is 01:08:46 Do you know what a Hobby Lobby is? I'm not sure what it is. A craft store? I'm going to find out. It's a pro-life craft store. Oh, is it a religiously craft store? Yeah. Alright. A Holy Lobby. It should be called.
Starting point is 01:09:01 Holy Moly. It's just an idea. Exactly. And there's no bad ideas in the room. We're just an idea. It's an idea. Yeah, it's just exactly. And there's no bad ideas in the room. We're just, we're just spitballing.
Starting point is 01:09:14 So I was at a hobby lobby with my wife. She was picking up decor for a bathroom and I overheard a teenage girl and a friend talking to her mom. The girl said, can we leave now? This place is expensive. We need to go to the dollar store. Things are cheap at the dollar store. Like how much are the things?
Starting point is 01:09:33 You know what? Surprisingly, very few things are a dollar at a dollar store. Yeah, they've really adjusted it. They've moved the needle a bit. Yeah, it's like a toonie store or it's a dollar 25 store like a dollar the dollar is the currency we're using but you know this this chocolate bar is eight dollars i just bought an eight doll it would have to be one of those novelty toblerones for them to like justify that eight dollar price tag um this last one i was laughing i was frozen i was laughing
Starting point is 01:10:07 you missed all my laughing there was so much thank you i would love one of those tobalarons i don't think i've i mean i i think i've always any tobalarone i've had has been disappointing because in my mind it's like the peak of chocolate bars it's got a little peak in it too so it's like the peak of chocolate bars. It's got a little peak in it too. It is true. It feels like Toblerone feels like Christmas to me. Am I wrong? Yeah, no, you're right. Doesn't it? It feels very Christmassy. It feels like duty free to me. I defied E1 in June. It feels wrong to E1 in June.
Starting point is 01:10:36 What are you doing? I saw some kid out on the corner eating a Toblerone in the middle of the summer. What kind of weird family do you come from? Do you remember Swiss Chalet? Swiss Chalet used to give out Toblerones. Yeah, was that part of a Christmas thing?
Starting point is 01:10:53 Yeah, that was their festive special. Do I remember it? Yes. It's called the festive special, Graham. Yes. And then after a while, they were like, Toblerone's too expensive. Then they would give you three of those fucking little lint balls you know those little and I was like really really
Starting point is 01:11:10 we're on to you Swiss Chalet yeah you're rich you're from Switzerland and you own a chalet so clearly anyway okay go on there's another one I think I want I mean like I didn't i gave up tobal runs
Starting point is 01:11:27 for a long time i actually to be honest i could have some swish a lay right now if i could if i got right here right now i'd be fucking jazzed dip that chicken into the sauce oh yeah and the wet fries wet oh do we have it here anymore yeah we have one here like way kind of closer to the airport. Oh, God. Now, the last overheard is from Angela H. from Toronto. This was said directly to me, so not exactly an overheard. We'll take it.
Starting point is 01:12:00 Yeah. I said I love you to my three and a half year old son, and in response he said i love the tv i like that yeah that's fun i like you mom but i love the tv i love the tv that's cute now in addition to overheards that are written and we we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1, like these people have.
Starting point is 01:12:34 Now, I had a little cable that I used to attach things. Oh, it's on the ground. Found it. Found it. Hooray. I was going to have to... Oh, did you see that spark when i plugged it in didn't happen that time keep trying oh do you oh yeah
Starting point is 01:12:52 hey gravedam impossible desk this is thomas in des moines calling in with an overheard i was at the grocery store and this man and woman were talking. And the man said, we really like to go there because they have whatever you want, fajitas. And the woman said, oh, so it's like you get to build your own fajita. And he goes, no. And she's like, okay, so it's like you get to pick the toppings on the fajita. so it's like you get to pick the toppings on the fajita and then he got visibly frustrated and said
Starting point is 01:13:27 no there's a menu and you get to pick one of the fajitas from the menu they're whatever you want fajitas you don't have to order whatever they have because this is still a restaurant
Starting point is 01:13:43 but whatever you want fajitas does imply like yeah i want yeah you're right that's true salmon and mushroom fajita with chocolate so dessert fajitas think about that for a second am i right a dessert fajita dessert fajita would be amazing this is my idea my idea my idea i'm your idea yeah what would be amazing. This is my idea. My idea. My idea. It's your idea. Yeah. What would you, like, you can get a, at the ice cream store up the street, they do a, like a taco. They turn the waffle cone into a taco and you get like a waffle. Subway. Fine.
Starting point is 01:14:16 But a fajita is different. It's sizzling. It is different. It is sizzling. Yeah. We got to eat it fast. Really fast. Yeah. it could be wrapped the outside of it could be wrapped in like a crepe oh my god the inside chunks of chocolate and stuff like that marshmallows chocolate gummy bears gummy bears then do a raspberry drizzle
Starting point is 01:14:39 on it you know this is sounds fucking delicious i haven't had a fajita in a long time like because i'll get a burrito i'll get tacos but you have to be in the restaurant at like a a restaurant where they you know table service and they have to bring it to you sizzling and everyone has to look yeah yeah i mean like if you're shy you don't want a fajita do you know what i'm saying i know everyone looks at you like okay, look it. I'm eating enough for 10. I would say it's maybe been like since my early teens, since I ordered fajitas. I would honestly say early twenties. It's been a long time.
Starting point is 01:15:17 Guys, we're not living well. No, that's true. We're not living our best life. We're our true selves. I know it. No, I think we just decided we like different Mexican things. Yeah, maybe. I do want that sizzling pan.
Starting point is 01:15:31 Also, there was a place called Chi-Chi's when I was a kid, and they had fried ice cream, and that was big. And it came with a sparkler, so if you got dessert, it was like, eyes on this person, fried ice cream. So it was like eyes on this person fried ice cream so it was like a scoop of it dipped in batter and deep fried yeah baked alaska yeah it was uh it was excellent it was excellent came with a sparkler everybody in the restaurant and people outside would pay attention uh people waiting to get into chi chi's yeah that does it does it does take a little bit of like you have to want to be the center of attention
Starting point is 01:16:09 right yes alright here's your next phone call hey Dave and Graham it's George from Nova Scotia it's Overheard I was in a gas station waiting to pay for my gas and there was a guy in front of me with a
Starting point is 01:16:23 old man adventure hat front of me with a old man adventure hat. Kind of looked like a Indiana Jones fedora with some webbing on it, I guess. And a real cool guy. And it was a little girl with her mom
Starting point is 01:16:39 just off to the side there waiting for some ice cream. And the little girl looked at the guy's hat and she said, Look, Mom, that's a dick hat. And the mom said, Excuse me? And the girl said, For digging. That guy's wearing that hat for digging.
Starting point is 01:16:58 Alright, thanks guys. I love your show. The dick hat for digging. Yeah. Those are called tilly hats right am I wrong about that I'm thinking of that yeah yeah George had a hot voice am I wrong wow yeah
Starting point is 01:17:14 yikes I'm sorry no you're right it was it was kind of like a bit like Sam Elliott you know what I mean let me hear again hey Dave Graham it's George from the school chef. Oh, yeah, okay. Do you want me to
Starting point is 01:17:30 send you the file, Debra? I wouldn't say no. I'm not not going to listen to it, you know what I'm saying? Okay, let's move on. Here's your final overheard. Hi, Dave Graham and possible guest. This is Jess from Medford, Massachusetts, calling in an overseen for you.
Starting point is 01:17:50 My husband and I were driving through the Worcester area, and we drove by a church that had a sign up with a message for the community that read, God bless, be safe, no yoga. Truly words to live by. That's my year round slogan. Be safe. What was the second thing?
Starting point is 01:18:13 God bless, be safe, no yoga. Yeah. Yeah, you know what? I'm on a real hot no yoga street. Since I did it 10 years ago. I think it would have been nice if it said what was it was the first one it was god bless god bless and be safe no scrubs now remind me what uh what a scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly
Starting point is 01:18:39 also known as a buster i don't know that's true um well i think that brings us to the end of this here podcast hey deb what do you got online that people can enjoy aside from these many zoom shows you're on yeah i have the zoom shows i mean at this point it's just follow me on instagram deborah dg okay twitter i'm still active on twitter i still active on twitter well it's just follow me on instagram deborah dg okay twitter i'm still active on twitter i still active on twitter well it's pushing it what uh where can we find you on an instagram or a twitter instagram is deborah dg and twitter is my full name deborah did you ready perfect and what are you on tiktok i'm don't i'm not gonna tell to tell you. Anonymous D. Why do you want TikTok too old?
Starting point is 01:19:27 Well, thank you so much for being our guest, Deb. It's been fabulous. Pleasure. I'm so sorry that this was, we stopped and started so much. We did stop and start. The listeners, I hope, will never notice. Never know. Always good to see you both. Lovely to be here. Yeah, you too.
Starting point is 01:19:41 And everybody out there, thank you so much for listening. Make sure to support us. Graham, go to MaximumFun.org slash join. Support the show so Graham doesn't have to write people's dating profiles. Yeah, and I say at the end of every episode, God bless. Stay safe. No yoga. no yoga maximumfun.org
Starting point is 01:20:18 comedy and culture artist owned audience supported

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.