Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 645 - Debra DiGiovanni
Episode Date: July 28, 2020Comedian Debra DiGiovanni returns to talk Mr. T, crafting videos, and writing dating profiles. Plus, it’s week 3 of MaxFunDrive 2020. Support the show at maximumfun.org/join....
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Hi, he's Dave Shumka, and he's Graham Clark, and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself.
Woo!
Hello everybody, and welcome to episode number 644 of Stop Podcasting Yourself.
My name's Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's so, so very stoked
that this is another week of the MaxFunDrive. It's Dave Shumka.
It's episode 645, Graham.
Sorry. It felt like a 44 kind of night.
sorry we went over like a 44 kind of night no that was that was last week but yes i i am feeling it i'm feeling alive and i'm just loving uh i guess my body these days i'm just oh yeah
uh totally just i'm kind of rediscovering myself hand mirror you know all that i do yes um our guest today is uh oh one of the all-time greats i say uh
she's oh so funny she's uh down in california where everything is madness it's deborah dg
avani hello hello how are you i'm okay i'm in i live in i live in hell but other than that i'm fine i live in america
what am i doing here should we uh should we uh get to know us yeah
hello deborah what are you doing there that's a very good question you know uh i am uh you know
at the beginning when this all began
uh everyone was like are you gonna go home to canada and i was like do you all think that i
have like a second house sitting around lying around like it's very strange like i was like
where do you think i will go to just enter canada and someone will pick me up like i don't yeah
isn't that how it goes i'm here and then someone's we gotcha and yeah and so i Like, I don't. Yeah. Isn't that how it goes? I'm here. And then someone's like, we gotcha.
And yeah.
And so I didn't, I don't have, I don't have anywhere to go.
I really don't.
I mean, I don't have anywhere to go, like, to stay comfortably for more than like two days.
You know what I mean?
In Canada, you mean?
Yeah.
Like, you know, I'm sleeping on someone's sofa for two.
But then, you know, because a couple, a couple of our comedians went home. You know, Steph Tolove, Matt O'Brien, and Julia.
They went home.
But, you know, it's been like four months.
They've been there for four months.
Yeah, that's 2,000 plus years.
Their families have, yeah, have like houses that have bedrooms for them and whatever.
I'm like, that's not the case for me.
So, I am trapped in the middle of it.
You never asked.
You could sleep here yeah that's
true oh my gosh well all right i mean how's tuesday um tuesday oh tuesday's not good
but but it is uh had you known it would be four months would you have re-evaluated things and
it's by the way it's not over it's oh
it's not over well that's the thing too as well it's um you know i don't know if this is a normal
thing but like on my lease it's like i'm not allowed to sublet we do not sublease our apartments
that's not allowed so i need to have to give up my apartment and i'm just i don't want to i don't
want to do that you know and then here i live here and so like going home you know unless it was going to be
living somewhere for free I can't
I wish but I can't afford two rents
I just I just can't so I was like
okay I live here so I will
die here apparently
oh no
two rents
is not a movie to live and die in LA
to live and die in LA I thought you meant two rents is a movie to live in die in la i thought you meant two rents
oh no two rents also is one as well that's very nice that's a sequel to rent yeah yeah
oh gosh one thousand or whatever you lose her too yep this is gonna be interesting
yeah we're having some uh internet troubles but you know what it's
par for the course for this demic baby these are unprecedented times i don't know if you've heard
that i feel like it is they say that a lot but like there was a pandemic a hundred years ago
and i mean people didn't have to record their podcasts during it granted yeah yeah it was uh most they were still
able to join in person for their podcasts they didn't know they didn't know that's how it was
spread that's exactly it you see they were in social distancing yeah it's not it is precedented
but uh i don't know like it's jeep that's telling us so you know it's jeep or uh
little caesars that's always quick to yeah these are unprecedented times get a hot and ready
so buy three pizzas for four dollars um what is your uh what's your current pizza regime guys
like before the pandemic how many pizzas oh were you having a week and
and currently what are you having what am i up to i think the this weekend it's going to be pizza
every night uh oh my gosh yeah i just feel like i don't want to cook anything it's hot it's hot here
and yeah so i'll just i'll take pizza hut uh over cooking how about
you deborah you got a pizza regime um you know what there is one place actually it's um amy
schumer's husband's pizza place oh yeah it's yeah it's called prime pizza it's pretty good uh it's
quite good to be honest but you know what i have um like when this when the when the course started i was like i'm gonna cook and now i'm at the point
where i'm like i will i never want to cook ever again for as long as i live yeah my whole life
has become dishes at this point yes oh gosh i don't like it and i feel like i only use two
dishes but somehow at the end of the day you have a big bowl and a big cup
and you eat cereal out of the cup yeah i got my cereal cup and my big bowl is just a catch-all
for any other food yeah you use it kind of as a saucer underneath your cup that's a good idea
i just built a trough a small broth which let's be honest that's a pretty good idea that's not bad um not bad
what is what is a typical day during this uh this pandemic times look for you um you know
i think we all joke or a lot of comedians are like it's not really changed and that's sort of
true but it's also not true you know i right, I don't, I don't sleep in.
I don't, you know, I'm not going to bed super late.
I actually, I feel like my hours have gotten better.
Like I have sort of a more reasonable human type schedule.
Do you know what I mean?
Like where I go to bed a little earlier and get up.
I'm, you know, I'm still usually up every day, 730 or eight.
Jeez.
And yeah.
That's like, that's like parent time.
It is.
It's early. It's early. I feel parent time it is it's early it's early i
feel like dave is mocking oh it's 7 30 is that early but um i like my kids have gone
everything is slid uh later so my kids now today they woke up at nine
but they go to bed at like 10 now that's crazy crazy. Yeah. I mean, that's the,
the pinnacle of childhood is being able to stay up late.
So,
yes,
this is the,
the,
I mean,
at the very beginning we were thinking,
Oh,
how traumatized will they be?
Like having to go out in a mask or like,
you know,
having to miss a school for however many months.
And I think when they look back,
they'll be like this
ruled yeah we got to stay up late we got to uh our parents were home all the time to do everything
for us yeah yeah yeah i think a certain age is it's pretty good i don't think teenagers are
loving it but i think under the age of like seven or like, this is the greatest, this was the best of times. But what,
I think even like up to like 11,
cause I like,
I,
at what age are you like living the comedian life?
You kind of started like 10.
Yeah,
that's true.
And then you just,
you kind of convince your parents that it might be educational to watch
Arsenio Hall.
Oh my gosh.
Um, What was,
what were you like as a teen,
Deb?
Oh gosh.
I was appropriately,
like I was sufficiently surly,
you know,
I hated my mother.
I hated my mother.
Ooh,
I was one of those.
Did you write in a journal about it?
Oh yeah.
Diaries. I, I took me and me mom never
we never got along that was there was a lot of screaming i hate you slamming of doors you know
that kind of thing wow yeah oh i i was very um which this you know even though it's funny i think
back now and i go wow she was pretty good about this like i you know i would say i acted out through clothing
oh okay fashion and mom never she never bothered her like she would just she would always go and
say one day you were gonna be so embarrassed by these pictures and that would be it and that's
all you know so really i mean honestly i was you know i i was definitely um you know depressive a
little unhappy i love the smiths oh yes um you know oh goodness listen to the smiths
and a 10-ton truck kills the both of us my mother be like that's nice that's nice music deborah
but they you know that was it was just but i you know i grew up in a small town right so and i had
my twin sister so i did probably by mid uh high school mid teens i was ready to get out like i
was already like oh i'm done i don't want
to be here but generally you know i was like i was an arts kid and you know not a some angst but
it was more like you know uh boyfriends i want a boyfriend i loved everyone that would never love
me that kind of thing i was never really rebellious i was never you know we drank young but i don't
think 14 is that even young anymore?
14, I think, was the first time that we got drunk.
Is that young?
Yeah, it's on the younger side, I would say.
Is it? Yeah, okay.
It's a small town.
That was it.
And I remember, like, I'll never drink.
When did you get drunk, Graham?
Not that much later, but probably 15, I think, was probably the...
I didn't
have a sip of alcohol till 19 because i didn't want to get arrested oh my gosh impressive
oh that would suck so much the first time you drank you get arrested for it well they were
talking about uh decriminalizing drugs and i was like well if i i was just waiting for myself to be
legal to drink if they make heroin legal i'm just gonna do heroin i'm gonna step up my game just
leapfrog right over booze what uh so you you got out of that uh small town like uh the song fast
car right you had a yeah fast car you left the small town behind you
and then uh like i know your sister she still lives in ontario is that right yeah she lives
in stratford ontario okay that's uh yeah but you wouldn't you wouldn't consider bunking down at her
place for a couple months again it's like it's not i would are we just trying to this what's the point
what is your point graham she's made a life for herself in la that's true that's true i appreciate
that that you're trying to find me somewhere to yeah yeah i'm just concerned about your well-being
that's all i need to that's it as well i don't know what was the last time that you did uh like
that you performed before this all happened improv i think at the
improv and this was the week it was the weekend i just come back from the snowed in tour oh yeah
and then yeah and that i left them like on the 6th of march and then there was um i was doing a
like a taping which i think has probably been benched now, I think for Netflix and that it's like,
it was a competition show.
I did like a couple of days of shooting on that.
Yeah.
And then I did,
um,
I think probably the last day was when it all,
when we all realized that,
we're going to have to be quarantined.
It was that weekend.
Like everything in my,
everything in my calendar can't like canceled,
bailed like on the 12th of march and it was just like you just
watched everything yeah we're gonna cancel we're not gonna do a show we're not gonna do show it was
like okay the improv was still going for that weekend so i did a set on the saturday night
so whatever it was march 14th or whatever i did a set there and then by the monday all the clubs
were like no we're closed too so then yeah that was it the last one because i'm i'm thinking about uh well i'm gonna do it i'm gonna host an outdoor show uh nice i'm wondering how bad i am
at stand-up now that it's been what uh have you i saw that you posted this on facebook but it was
was there a date to it yeah there's uh but no location yet uh yeah i was keeping the location
just for uh who buy tickets.
You have the location?
I have a location.
Oh, but people will find out the day of like a rave.
Damn right.
Yeah.
Nice.
I have a question about your outdoor show.
What's the date?
It's the 24th and the 25th.
So what do I do?
And is it of July?
And is it a, will there, it like outdoor uh oratorio style or
in an amphitheater or is are you using uh um uh like a pa no i'm not using a pa because of
i don't i don't know how to get around the whole germ thing
with the microphone and i don't want to like hire out you know five microphones or whatever five
microphones that was gonna be my solution five tracks five microphones um yeah i uh i was just
it's gonna be old school greek greek theater style, Plato and his friends, you know?
Nice.
You see, you're not doing Zoom shows or anything?
I tried.
If you tried one, I didn't care for it.
I do them quite regularly.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I do.
Let me see.
I have one tomorrow.
I have one Sunday.
I have one Tuesday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, um, that, that,
that happened pretty quickly. Like there was, um, the first couple were,
the first couple of shows that were, that we were like, we're going to get this to go was always, uh, Instagram live, which is not as,
to be honest, not as good as zoom because zoom is at least it's like,
you can, you can hear people you know what i
mean you can hear uh laughter and stuff right we're instagram live it's like they just smile
in the in the you know in the uh comments and that's awful but um yeah they're they're pretty
they're pretty exactly clapped by although heckling is much easier because it takes yeah but um but
yeah it's yeah the zoom shows and there wasn't at the beginning, a lot of people were like, I will never do a Zoom show. And now everyone's like, catch me on Zoom.
And you're like, yeah, of course,
because you kind of gotta.
So yeah, there's, yeah, I still get on stage.
Do you just do your standup on Zoom?
I do, I do.
Okay.
I think I've seen some comics,
like they're like, I'm going to do something wacky.
And it, okay, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. But yeah, a lot i think i've seen some comics like they're like i'm gonna do something wacky and it okay sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't um but yeah a lot of people though i've seen a
lot of people sort of like address the crowd because you know you can see everyone in their
little boxes right so they kind of do that and that it actually works it's okay yeah it works
does does anyone kill like does anyone have such a great set it's i don't think it's i literally
don't think it's possible like i don't think it's it's human like you know what i mean i have some like
i definitely have some fun and there's some shows that are like oh that was you know it was fun
you know it hits the spot enough right like it does scratch the itch enough but it's not
it's not right it's you know it's not correct it's not it's an affront to god it should be you know it
just is the uh when you were talking about somebody trying something wacky can you remember what the
wackiest thing you've seen somebody attempt on stage oh god on stage or on zoom on stage
on stage you know the first time i went to england um the very first comic that i saw perform in london uh he we were in a
little pub and he pulled a cucumber out of his pants and beat uh an audience member with it
i would say that is that wacky i believe it's wacky that's pretty wacky and i literally was
just like what am i what's happened what are we doing what's going on right now but yeah there's a lot of wacky there's a lot of trying to be what's the wackiest. And I literally was just like, what am I? What's happened? What are we doing? What's going on right now?
But yeah, there's a lot of wacky.
There's a lot of trying to be.
What's the wackiest thing you've seen?
I'm desperate to know.
I think it was at a little show and a guy like went into the bathroom to change.
And I was like, oh, no, this has been a huge mistake on my part.
I'm so excited.
And he came out uh dressed like jesus and uh he told a series
of like borderline racist jokes like jesus would as jesus does you know how he does
um but yeah it's i feel like uh what's the wackiest thing you've seen on the zoom call
it's not it's not even it's not even wacky
they're like kind of trying to just like you know be in the room and tell you know tell stories and
sort of like you know it's i find that a lot of the times instead of just doing their jokes people
kind of like you know make fun of the zoom and make fun of the you know what is this stupid and
it's just like just have a just tell some of your jokes yeah that seems to be yeah i just get up and fucking tell my jokes i just throw down hi everybody maybe in the room
for a second i'd be like let's do it and then i just rip through which is really how i sort of do
comedy anyway but you know how it is yeah when this is over are people is there's going to be
like a time of uh where people like have just nothing but material
like all the material is about uh quarantine yeah and then when it's how long before you
have to have new material after that before like he's still doing his quarantine well that's the
thing how long is this gonna last that's the only thing right i mean who knows we could be 2022 and we're still telling quarantine and pandemic jokes but um i don't know i give it a
hot month i give you a month i'm very strict let's forget let's put this behind us what do you think
like how soon after uh you know if things pass do you think they'll make a romantic
comedy about being in quarantine
with somebody? It's in the works right now.
Casting is already on it.
I feel like it's going to be
who is it? Chalamet for sure.
Timothee Chalamet for sure.
What's your dream cast for this movie?
Oh gosh.
Has anyone ever
come up with an M. Night
Chalamet? Has anyone ever come up with an M. Nightshallamay?
Has anyone said that?
They have now, and I'm jazzed for it.
I'm glad I was here to see it.
You know?
The birth of it, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
But that's for sure happening.
I'm sure that there's already a sitcom already been greenlit.
You know, there's got to be.
Yeah, because I feel like the closest
equivalent is that like they made all these war tv shows in the 50s like gomer pile and all this
it's happening we but we all know we all know i think it's also too it's like you know it'll be
like friends but in quarantine they're trapped yeah central kate lee they basically lived in quarantine
on that show they did anyway they did they really never mixed with other people they
they kept to their own yeah they were in their own apartments and then just that one coffee
shop well technically it would only be safe for you to all have sex with each other yeah so let's work on that okay done um yeah is there
any uh skill or talent that you've been able to kind of work on during this time gosh i wish um
i i feel very intimidated like there's a lot of like intimidation towards that and people like
i i'm a beautiful furniture maker like you know what
there is um uh a friend works at walmart and he said like the things that
are you cannot get right now like there's like certain okay apparently all baking supplies
right because they're nothing you can't like that it's the one thing like all-purpose flour
baking gone done because everyone in the world is like i bake now now i'm a baker yeah and then also
one thing that was um at for walmart as well puzzles jigsaw puzzles all right yeah yeah yeah
and of course i was very smart and i ordered like four the minute this
happened i was like getting some puzzles and i've got some puzzles and i'm i'm not dumb i was like
i will stock up and also a microwave popcorn apparently was a big one that they couldn't
keep on the shelves as well right really you know you can just microwave regular popcorn
you just buy it but buy the non-microwave kind of microwave. The start of quarantine, I remember baking supplies all disappeared.
And now, I don't know if demand has just met or supply has met demand or if just people aren't baking as much anymore.
But we are still, we are a loaf of bread a week.
Oh, really?
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
Nice.
And it doesn't always really? Wow. Yeah. Wow. Nice.
And it doesn't always turn out great.
Yeah.
And I still haven't figured out what makes a good one and a bad one. I made the best one this week.
It was so light and fluffy, but I couldn't tell you.
Like, it's the same recipe every week, but sometimes it's just...
You have no idea what happened.
Yeah, it's just flat and dull.
Yeah, I tried to make banana bread the other day,
and it was a fucking mess.
It still tasted like banana bread,
but it did not look like banana bread.
It was just kind of like concave,
which is not what you're looking for.
You want a nice dome on that i don't
know what you would have done to make it do that because banana bread is a bit of a bit of a just a
slab anyway i know you think you'd be able to god bless you it's not the prettiest bread i mean it's
delicious but it doesn't even like we don't think of it and go god's a good looking bread and then
you uh then you made it worse somehow which is yeah somehow i don't think you're supposed to like improvise
during baking it's cooking where you can throw baking is yeah baking is science uh cooking is
passion yeah baking is chemistry yeah um like they show you on the uh great british bake off
is that what's called oh yeah yeah it's called? Oh, so good.
Yeah.
God, that's a good show.
Have you ever seen something on there that you wish you could have in your life,
but we don't really have it here because it's all English weird?
Oh, they've got so many things.
They've got so many things.
They're like, it's the trestle cake.
You're like, what are you talking about?
What is happening?
You've made that up right now.
Yeah. They do have a lot of things that just seem to be second nature to them. fake you're like what are you talking about what is happening you've made that up right now yeah
you have a lot of things that just seem to be like second nature to them like you could maybe
find them here but like they're just like everyone knows what that is they're filthy with it do you
know what i mean that we like yes whatever i can't think i can absolutely blank but like treacle
treacle wasn't treacle just just molasses isn't it it seems like it feel like it's shakespeare
was the last person to eat treacle and no i don't know they have it all the time treacle cakes
okay i'm sorry to all the british listeners because i'm i'm being a dick but they're used to it
the uh i remember like movie reviewers would call a movie treacle and i was like i don't know what
that means oh it seems mean enough like saccharin yeah yeah yeah it's very syrupy cute but it's a
very enjoyable show though i will say you is there anything that you've watched that has brought you
great comfort in this time in these unprecedented times um what did i watch that i
oh normal people oh goodness did you watch that oh is that what amanda was talking about a couple
weeks ago yeah all the sex and it didn't yes and it didn't did it bring me comfort not really
i was sort of upset with it because it was like what are you doing you love each other
that kind of thing but it was it was good it was it was because it was like, what are you doing? You love each other, that kind of thing.
But it was,
it was good.
It was,
it was just,
it was good.
Yeah.
I cried.
I,
you know,
I spent private time. I did all the things.
It was very,
a lot of,
a lot going on,
a lot,
a lot going on.
I just started watching,
uh,
Perry Mason.
Oh yeah.
The new one.
The new one. There's a new watching Perry Mason. Oh, yeah. The new one. The new one?
There's a new HBO Perry Mason.
Oh, my gosh.
Do you know this, Graham?
Yes.
Somebody told me he's like a detective in it.
Yeah.
What was he originally?
A lawyer.
Was he?
Yeah.
Perry Mason was like a law firm.
So this was before he became a lawyer.
Are you thinking about Ironsides?
Are they both Raymond Burr? They're both lawyer. Are you thinking about Ironsides? Are they both Raymond Burr?
They're both Raymond Burr.
What was Ironsides? Ironsides was the same thing, but in a wheelchair.
Was he a lawyer too?
He was something. Maybe
a lawyer, maybe a doctor?
But for sure, Perry Mason was a
law show. But yeah, this Perry Mason
is the guy from the
americans did you ever watch that no everybody tells me it's good um he's also you would
remember him graham from the bradley cooper movie burnt where he was the rival chef yes yes
that's my uh thermometer of knowing stuff it It's whatever the Bradley Cooper equivalent,
but yeah,
it's,
I never watched the original Perry Mason.
It was,
that was one of those things that was like, how was this still,
that was for your parents when,
when they had reruns of like,
you know,
uh,
you know,
leave it to beaver.
And,
uh,
like even in my childhood,
they still had leave it to beaver and Brady bunch and Gilligan's Island.
But I, when they were still Perry Mason on on i thought that was so strange yeah oh yeah yeah and like you say dev it was it was show for adults only i remember it came on after a show
it was a canadian tv show that starred mr t as a guy who's working on the side of the law.
He's working.
It's him and a... Mr. T with glasses? Yeah, Mr. T with glasses.
And he was, I think he was a lawyer and she
was a lawyer and it was called TNT.
And so I'd always watch
TNT.
I have a recollection of that.
Yeah, that was like
so perfect in my head as a show
that should exist.
Like, Mr. T's
moved to a different show, aside
from the A-Team, but he's still Mr.
T.
How is he, I wonder?
How is he doing well? Mr. T?
How is Mr. T? Is he still with us?
He's still with us, yeah.
He was in like Verizon
commercials or something like that.
How old would you guess
Mr. T is? I'm going to say
73. 65.
I'm going to say
69. Let's all look
at it. Let's find out.
I love this game.
This is one of my favorite games.
Mr. T.
Find out how old someone is
68
68
well dave went over
i went over who was 65
i was 65
we play by price is right rules
do we not
live my life by them
i also googled mr t age and mr t feet
just cause why not
is he a big deal on wiki feet dave oh no there's some there's some shots of them from the battle
of the network stars oh yeah battle of the network stars was that was that a thing in your home
oh yeah yeah that was um that was that was a a thing in your home oh yeah yeah that was um that
was that was a friday night show oh yeah i remember there was like a lot of donny and marie
yeah you know the osm the osmonds right that was a friday night show sunny and share was a friday
night show for a while this how old i am that was that was terrific uh and then what else was it and
battle the network stars was for sure i don't know if that was weekly or if it was like once a month i feel like it's a summer replacement yes i think so
like yeah i think it was like a ninja warrior but just you know and it would be like yeah and
have a look there tina yothers is making uh she's paddling through the pool at pepperdine university
yep that's exactly she. She's against Clinger from MASH.
Oh, no!
There's no way he didn't.
On the Sonny and Cher show,
I only know it kind of in the abstract,
but what was it?
It was a variety show.
So, like, they would sing,
and then would they do sketches?
I don't remember.
I don't have clear clear clear memory of it
but like what i remember i loved i loved because they would start off the show and do a monologue
the two of them right and it was very saucy and he was always like share was the funny one and
sunny was the one that always gotten chewy as you know was always picking on sunny right always
always and then they used they would sing something and then there would be a series of sketches.
There'd be a guest.
That guest would maybe perform later.
They would be in the sketches.
Right.
I don't know if Mr. T was on it.
It might be too early for him,
but he would have killed it.
He would have done a great job if he was.
He kind of debuted on,
or as a TV guy,
on the show B the canadian show bizarre
is mr t canadian and i'm missing something if i miss something
he just likes it up here oh well good time um yeah bizarre was great that was i mean
seriously what about um super dave remember remember Super Dave that's where he was
that's where he was from was from the old Bazaar
show that's of course that's where he
got his star right yeah yeah
and like uh I guess in the
70s or maybe early 80s
John Biner was like
the height of comedy
is he
from Bazaar he's the he's the guy
that's in every sketch okay i don't know but i bizarre
was something that uh was a canadian 70s variety show 70s or early early 80s early 80s and then
i never saw it when it was on i never saw it was i never heard anyone talk about it until
it was the comedy network used to replay old episodes because they didn't make new ones.
And they that and Smith Smith and Smith was the other one.
Never watched that either.
Never, ever.
I used to watch Smith and Smith every week.
Hated it, but still would watch it because it was still television.
What was another show that you hated, but you sort of had to watch?
Do you remember?
Is there anything um i feel like if i wanted to stick around the tv i had to watch like dynasty i feel like that was a show that i was like i'll watch it it's fine we
just talked about last week like oh our parents are letting us stay up and watch murphy brown
my the one i remember was awful was um it was sunday night we would
go to my grandparents house for dinner and it was lawrence welk and what was what was that show is
that i can't even describe you hear that lawrence welk that's what it was whatever you're thinking
in your head that's what it was it was basically it was it was a bubble machine it was a music
show but like for like near dead people.
So like,
yeah,
this is me doing an impression of,
hello,
I'm Lawrence.
Let's poke.
And that was it.
It was,
it was poke a band.
And like,
and it would be like,
it's the Shane sisters.
And they would come on with long dresses and they would sing as a trio.
It was awful. it was the worst
thing that ever happened and i was seven and i was like it was so terrible because we knew
the magical world of disney was on and we wanted to watch that but grandpa wanted to watch so we
were watching warren's well yeah that magical world of disney was uh was very uh that is like synonymous with the sunday blues that like
yeah that feeling of like oh we gotta go to school tomorrow i've run out of opportunities
to do my homework i had 48 hours oh gosh yeah totally yeah on magical world of disney i feel
like you'd either hit the jackpot with a
with an animated thing or you'd have to watch a terrible live action thing the computer war what
what's herbie up to it wasn't always great it wasn't always great it really wasn't you know
escape to witch mountain or something you're like what's this what's happening that's something uh we have disney plus now and it has everything and it has but like obviously the kids don't want to watch that
first of all i don't want to go to witch mountain at all yeah that's true it wasn't escape from i
think it was escape two does it i think you're right i think think it was Escape 2. Why would we do that? It's a terrible thing.
Yeah,
it was always, I feel like Sunday night was always Magical World to Disney
and then 60 Minutes came on
and you were, that was it, man.
That was you finished.
Go to bed.
I think you're forgetting
a very important block of America's
Funniest Videos and People.
That's right.
A show that's still
on? America's Funniest
Home Videos? Yeah, hosted by Alfonso
Ribeiro. It's Carlton
from
what's it called?
Fresh Prince.
You know his real name.
For knowing his real name.
Well, because he played Alfonso on uh silver spoons really that was a good show what was
silver spoons i remember it being on but i don't think i ever watched it did the kid have a train
is there something about a kid had a train there was just rich is rich right so was he adopted
yeah i was gonna say what was the story i think is yeah that's what it was
wasn't it because they had to be hitched there somewhere yeah the 80s were big into adoption
shows with punky brewster and different strokes and webster yeah they really were wow what was
going on was there a big movement i don't know i don't remember i don't know like uh but you're right because wasn't um it was not no and also fused families
was one like a lot of like mixed families that uh they you know they hadn't been divorced always
the partner had died yeah we could know if someone was divorced they were unmarriable on tv
like this america wasn't ready for a divorced person.
You're damaged. No one will
ever love you.
But if your husband
or wife fell into a snake pit,
that's then worse.
Snake it around
at 9 o'clock
snake by snake um
dave what's going on with you man uh well did i tell you i started watching perry mason
it's all right um do they have the same theme song? Yeah, they got it. I keep thinking, because no one's going to remember this,
but in the 90s, Ozzy Osbourne had a single called Perry Mason.
It's in my head all the time.
Who can we get on the case?
We need Perry Mason
anything?
yeah I remember when Ozzy Osbourne
and his wife held a variety
show before they went on to reality
TV
but the other
thing I've been watching
so I talked about a few weeks ago
how anyone
basically anyone I'm friends with on Facebook,
I,
I'm still friends with you,
but I have unfollowed you because I,
I do not want to just keep scrolling down my phone all day long while I'm
supposed to be an example for my children.
But I still do open Facebook quite a bit.
And, uh, but I only see my family and graham because he's like family thank you um and i but then it just suggests videos for me and the thing
it suggests all the time are this this thing called crafty panda okay what i'm doing too it's just like if i didn't watch the
videos all the way through it would stop suggesting them but it is just people making stuff like do
you want this person is making a uh like a lamp shade out of uh uh you know just bits of plastic and uh or bits of wood
and some kind of green glass and they're uh you know using a lathe to shave off the edges
and anything with a lathe i'm all like i. Like, I just want to see. I love seeing all the, like, chunks of wood and, you know, epoxy just getting chiseled off.
Deb, are you a crafty person at all?
No.
No, I'm not.
You know, at the beginning, I thought, oh, this is what I'll do.
I was trying to think of just things to, you know, fill time right so i did i thought i would try to do embroidery um the lacrosse stitch a
little because i saw some friends doing it it looks so pretty and it's sitting over there
it's just in a pile i ordered weights yeah it's in a big pile right now of all the things that
i haven't done um yeah but that's i was like this is what i'll do and i just never do fair enough at least that's like manageable you don't need a bunch of tools for
that like the things i'm watching i'm like this would be cool except i would need to buy tens of
thousands of dollars of tools to do this stuff and lose my thumbs because i have no training
that's true like at least with cross stitch you can be like oh i
poked myself yeah oh well oh that's it and now i'm done that'll be all it's not but the um uh
and like there was one i watched that was like people making a concrete floor that uh but like
we'll make it look like it's wood and so you just instead of just making it wood yeah like
it's and that's what every comment is it my highlight is reading the comments and they're
all like well why didn't you just do the cheaper way that would have worked just as well or
yeah that but this created so much waste and i could have bought that for five dollars at loads
yeah i feel like i'm seeing a lot of that like um on like tiktok or whatever do you mean like
where people like a 17 year old girl's like i'm gonna redo my bedroom and then she gets out like
a bandsaw it's insane you're like what's who are you it's you know i mean it's not just like i'm gonna
paint this while pink they don't they they rip out a stove it's a lot it's just like wow okay
deborah are you are you on tiktok listen i have joined tiktok i don't i'm not good at it i don't
know what the kids want i don't know what they want. So basically, I'm there. I posted like six things.
Nobody likes any of them. I'm there
to watch. I'm there to look.
I'm a lucky Lou.
Because Graham's on there too.
I thought Graham was the oldest person
I knew. Yeah, but I'm only on it.
I'm the same with Deb. I've never been
brave enough to put my own video
up.
It would kill me that it gets zero likes
yeah well that's the thing too and it's awful it hurts my heart because it's just like okay yeah
but it feels like on tiktok like there's either like very very interesting things like you know
what i mean like where it's it's money it's funny it's funny and smart new word uh funny and smart
and interesting and you're like look at that and
then it's like teenage girls crying do you mean like there's there's there's no halfway there's
no halfway it is like either like what are you doing with your life or like holy fuck look at
you like you don't mean like it's yeah it's impressive or embarrassing as hell yeah i guess
i uh i should just join tiktok instead of constantly googling
teenage girls crying you would save so much time yeah and get off a lot of lists
be able to go back to your church what anyway i don't know what that means but it felt right
no my church is into it oh my god Yeah, I go to a weird crying church.
They've got their own TikTok.
Yeah.
But yeah, so that's me.
I'm watching just like whatever, like I love the algorithm.
I love, yeah.
I hate that I love the algorithm, but I love what it's showing.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like I would never search for this stuff.
What other crafty kind of thing?
What other things have you picked up during the quarantine?
Oh,
I,
and the thing is like,
yeah,
I puzzles fixing bread.
What are we doing?
Oh,
uh,
yeah.
Bread.
Yeah.
But I'm like,
uh,
I've taught,
I've talked about this before.
I have no extra time.
I'm,
uh,
I,
I have a job. I make this podcast and I have no extra time. I'm, uh, I, I have a job.
I make this podcast and I have the kids who do not go anywhere.
Yeah.
That's it.
It must be like for,
you know,
at first I remember thinking like,
Oh my gosh,
my sister's so lucky.
She's,
she's got a family.
She's not alone.
And now I'm like,
I feel so sorry for her.
It's entertaining children all day long.
Like all day long.
It's just,
it's gotta be exhausting. Yeah, all day long it's just gotta be exhausting
yeah no it is
I did not
know we would have
a pandemic when we had
the kids
I would have rethought
but I would
have maybe timed things a little
differently
it would be great to have a 20-year-old kid right now.
So, yeah, you're in love with the algorithm.
Yeah.
What's up with you?
So, you know, a lot of time indoors
and really getting to know my neighborhood very intimately because it's the only thing.
We didn't talk about this the last time, but I saw you in public.
Yeah, yeah.
I was sitting in a like pop up, not garden.
Yeah, plaza.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I was, I had come from the grocery store and I was wearing a mask and you didn't recognize me.
No, exactly.
I can't tell. You thought I was a creep who recognized you.
Yeah. And so
I'm getting to know the characters in my neighborhood.
You are the people in your neighborhood.
Yeah, that's right. Because there's no way I would have figured out
what house for sure has kids,
and who are the old people in my neighborhood, or who are the kind of troublemakers.
I've gotten to know them all.
But there's a guy down the alley from me that has four or five houses down,
and he's playing either a xylophone or like a kalimba or something like that
and he's just playing it like if he plays it he'll play it for several hours in a row
it's out in his garden he's playing this thing and uh the neighborhood seems to hate it right
my uh how do you know because the people who lived upstairs were yelling at him to close his window
because they didn't know where the sound was coming from uh is it in his yard it's in his yard
yeah oh he can't close his window no exactly well maybe his uh somebody that lives in his house
closes the window so they wouldn't hear it but uh yeah that's i've gotten to know the
is it called a kalimba or a Marimba?
Or am I making up two things? A Kalimba is the thumb piano, I think.
Oh yeah, that's not what this is.
It's something that has like mallets.
It's all the phone-ish.
Yeah.
Mallets, mallets.
Wow.
So gotten to know the people in my neighborhood.
And the other thing is I've been looking for some kind of job.
And I applied to a website that does dating profiles for people who are too busy to do their own dating profiles.
Too busy?
How are you that busy?
My goodness.
Then you're too busy and a surgeon exactly
you don't deserve love but you know like for your
but you know your bruce waynes and etc that has all their time
does alfred not do that
that does feel like an alfred job um so this was like particularly like multi-leveled
kind of interview process or application process um i never got interviewed but uh you had to
submit a resume you had to tell them why you love online dating and then you had to write a sample
thing like if
somebody told you they were into yoga
what would be your
you know your icebreaker
and I started it
with namaste and then it went off the rails
from there
if someone told you that you were
into yoga what would be your icebreaker
yeah okay well enjoy your yoga uh that's the opposite of icebreak that's you leaving a
conversation good luck let's talk about something else
yeah so it's uh it was a very weird process but i didn't get it and they actually sent me
like an email saying like thanks for applying but no thanks which is nice because you don't
usually get that yeah in a in an application process but can you imagine that as a job
where you're like learning about somebody and then trying to mimic what they are as a person online are people online dating during this yes yeah
probably yeah it got it at the very beginning it was uh like the numbers increase a lot it was
something like i'm gonna mess up the exact stats but it was like there was um 300 3.2 million users on Tinder, and then it went to like 3.9 in a week or something.
Oh, wow.
It just jumped.
Yeah, well, that's not right.
People shouldn't be doing that.
But if you're a couple, and you're in the early stages,
and you're not living together, are you going on Zoom dates?
Or are you opening your bubble?
Yes, that's what...
This is what this is what,
this is what they're doing.
They go on,
they do FaceTime dates.
And then when,
after a couple of FaceTime dates,
they go on a socially distant walk.
Oh yeah.
And I know this because my friend Zach,
this is,
he's,
this is what he's doing.
This is,
this is what he does.
And a couple of my girlfriends have done the same thing.
Your friend,
Zach,
what is like the beginning stages of a
relationship and has to do just dating just dating still you know still trying to meet people and
it's not really stopped people people are still trying to meet someone and
you know and that's that's what they're doing facetime dates and stuff yeah what i yeah like
what about at a certain point do you have to like it's been four months and we've
just been going on facetime dates or just socially just i guess do you do you take a test and then
go yeah do you i don't know i wonder what that step is in a relationship of like well uh i know
let's go get our our nostrils let's go get a test and a ring right i mean like seriously let's go get our brains
probed via our nose and then let's do some other probing yeah and then hello
yeah like it seems like if there if this was a zombie uh apocalypse kind of thing eventually
people would like be like okay we're stranded inside forever let's see who's
online yeah yes and then according to what's happening now a lot of people would be like
i'm gonna fuck a zombie i okay i was on the dating apps at the very beginning and i'll tell
you something it was i knew i was like okay this is this is not right because it was
i was getting very good numbers like i'm not kidding like the kind of dudes that i was like
no something's wrong you're scared the world's ending because i was too men too hot like too
i'm not joking but then but then you know what it was it was like a lot of dudes and i
okay so i was okay on tinder and whatever and then i was
gone by april 1st because i was like i'm just like men going
so who cares you want to come over and i was like dude like we're in a quarantine
and they it just it showed the really worst in
people because a lot of guys were just like
whatever okay let's risk it you know i mean i get that because
the world is ending.
I just want to spread my seed.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So I left.
I left.
So I don't know if anyone else is having success or not.
Well, you know what?
You never know.
One of the people you clicked on may have had their whole profile written by some schlub.
You?
Oh, by some schlub that took. You? Oh, by some schlub
that took the job. Oh, God.
Mr. T.
Your profile's written by Mr. T.
I pay the full
that doesn't date me!
I like to
travel, but not on a plane. These are all
Mr. T.
How much does
your gold weigh?
Okay. If you don't have seven pounds of gold on not interested
yeah loves golden jewelry seeking same yeah
you know how that jewelry thing got started have i ever talked about that on the no
i feel like you told me this 10 years ago yeah it's still i feel like you have to but i feel
like we need a refresher uh he was is to t was a bouncer at a at like a very popular nightclub
and people would somehow during the course of the evening lose their necklaces or their rings
and so he would just wear them outside so people
wouldn't be allowed to go back into the club
after they lost the thing
so he would always wear them and whichever
one was theirs he'd give it back
or maybe he gave them a nicer one
oh and then when it started to collect
because people never picked it up and then he was just
like alright
he was the lost and found
I like it I don't know if
you did tell me that story and i love it it's a good story it's a very wholesome yeah it's wholesome
yeah and uh i like i like my mr t's story is wholesome because you know what i love mr d
are there any i don't think he's a rare like he was such a tough guy
yeah i don't think i ever heard any non-wholesome stories about him yeah with the heart of gold
like i was i heard the story about it every time he like met someone and they shook his hand he
would be like ah you're hurting my hand like he would pretend someone hurt his hand yes
that's the best uncle move in the book.
Yeah, I do that now because it really does.
I'm very proud of it.
Well, it's because of all that cross-stitching.
Cross-stitching, I'm telling you.
Snapping bones.
I won't lie to you.
Well, should we move on to a little bit of business?
Oh, hey, everybody.
Hey, everyone. Oh, it's that time of year
it's the time of year where we max fun drive it up and where we ask you the listener if you're
interested in supporting the show uh are you are you still interested yeah are you remember how we
talked earlier are you interested yeah he's still interested do Yeah. Remember how we talked earlier? Are you interested? Yeah.
He's still interested in that. Do you remember last week when you were kind of interested and we were like, will you be interested next week?
Yeah.
But, you know, for those who were interested, let me tell you, it's the time of year where if you are feeling like you got some cash on you and you're, you're ready to throw it around. Um,
you know,
uh,
Richie rich style.
Yeah,
sure.
Um,
so whoever makes a rain in a club into club style.
Yeah.
And I forget silver spoons.
My favorite show.
Yes.
Um,
well,
this is the time of year.
Well,
we ask you to support our show.
Our show is 100% supported by members of maximumfund.org and
if you would like to become a member we would sure appreciate it it would certainly keep us
off the street and keep graham from having to write uh profiles for people on tinder horny
profiles oh you didn't say how horny it was no it didn't i guess it's not but i just felt
going into it like i'm gonna be the king
of smut i'm gonna be the uh you know who is it the people versus larry flint i'm gonna be the
larry flint of this job and i'm gonna be the people uh well if you would like to support the
show if you think of it this way uh do you listen to the show every week do you think it should be a
free thing that just you turn on the faucet and the show comes out or do you think of it as like
huh what else do i get every week i buy a couple cups of coffee i pay for those uh yeah maybe i
should it's not just a coffee spout yeah maybe i should pay for this show
uh if that makes sense to you uh great if not you are a monster but uh for those of you who
are not monsters and are in the position to support the show we would love you to head over
to maximumfun.org join now it should be said that if you're uh
there's all different levels you can donate at yeah five dollars a month you get uh all the bonus
content ten dollars a month you get uh well graham's about to tell you yeah if you do ten
dollars a month uh you get our great enamel pin um from this year which is dave it's a uh a picture of my
dearly beloved late great dog grandpa and he's carrying a bindle and it says well off i go
and it's yeah it's very it's an emotional Yes. And if you donate, you can get that emotional pin.
And if you're at $10 a month, it's like achievement unlocked.
You will have the ability to purchase any of the pins from the MaxFun store.
That's only for $10 a month.
If you're not up to it, then you can never buy these.
a month if you're uh if you're not up to it then you can never buy these this week all our members at ten dollars and above have an option to purchase additional pins from the store and all proceeds
from the additional pin purchases go to charity and there are so many great ones to choose
and uh you know what we really appreciate all of our listeners we it really does feel like we're part of a a community and as we said before
if this time of year if this uh pandemic has left you without any funds we're still putting out the
show you can still listen to it for free but you are not one of those uh faucet monsters yeah
exactly um if you uh if you feel like you're okay during this time
and you want to express kind of your commitment to the community
that this show builds, then this is a good time to do it.
And that's all I got to say about that.
Yeah, if you want us to be able to keep making the show,
you go to MaximumFun.org slash join and sign up.
$10 a month, you can grab yourself this pin and additional pins
as well for a great cause want to move on to the overheards boy do i
overheard overheards time where you if you're lucky enough to hear something or see something,
maybe close to you within your bubble, as they would say, it's your duty not to keep it to yourself, but to report it here on the podcast.
And every time we do this, we like to start with the guest.
Debra, would you lead the charge?
I will.
Okay.
I know that we always do an overheard and I was just like, how am I going to do this?
I'm never anywhere. I'm by myself all the time. What and I was just like, how am I going to do this? I'm never anywhere.
I'm by myself all the time.
What's going to happen.
But today I went to Trader Joe's.
I was just like,
all right,
grab some stuff.
And I'd been putting it out there and I was like,
okay,
bring it,
bring it to me.
And,
and the overheard gods dropped one into my lap.
Okay.
So I'm at Trader Joe's.
I'm waiting.
I'm just about to get in line,
socially distant.
And I was like,
maybe I'll get some flowers for myself.
And there was a woman, you know, looking at the selection and i kind of was you
know socially distant so i she couldn't didn't see me and as she was going through the flowers
she said she said to herself you're fucking right i deserve flowers
and then she looked over at me and she was like sometimes i forget people can still hear me
through the mask and i was like yeah and then we had a little giggle and it was lovely it was a
lovely direction i do have that like with the masks where i'm like well if i'm not supposed
to be around people i'm not supposed to make eye contact with anyone either that's how it spread through eye contact.
Um,
Dave,
do you have an overheard?
Oh boy.
Let's see.
Um,
uh,
yeah.
Okay. Let's use this one.
So my,
uh,
uh,
we,
we had our,
uh,
my niece came over the other day to do some outdoor play with my daughters.
Okay. And, uh, they were playing in the yard and uh they had water balloons and they were throwing water balloons at each other
and one of them uh didn't explode and my niece picked it up and was blowing it up oh yeah and
because when you buy what when you get water balloons now you don't like when i was a kid
water balloons you you had to take a regular balloon attach it to the faucet and it would blow up now you buy like they are uh they come on this
like uh hose you attach this thing to your hose and the hose fills 50 water balloons at the same
time and they're tied shut with uh elastic bands okay if the water comes out you can still probably
blow into it i've never tried but my niece was doing it and she was showing off that hey check
out this balloon i blew up and margo uh was like oh i uh that's pretty cool i guess i can't do that
and my niece said and not in like a mean way and not like to,
to like make her feel bad.
She was like,
maybe I'm just a little more talented than you.
Yes.
I found a secret skill that you do not possess.
Yeah.
I mean,
yeah,
maybe I just learned it and you didn't.
And I'm just,
I guess like,
I guess I'm better than you,
but like,
it's not a big deal.
Um,
uh,
mine is a,
an overseen.
It's something I saw.
Um,
I was just had the TV running all day.
Like I put on CNN or CBC or whatever the hell it was.
And it was just in the background.
And then during the daytime,
the,
the ads are very targeted
towards uh the senior experience um you know uh life insurance and stuff like that different
but at nighttime it's for kids yeah that's right um but there was an ad you know this style of ad
where they show the person having so much trouble with the conventional way of doing things
there's gotta be an easier way
yeah it's gotta be an easier way
so this was
an ad for like a chair
an office chair and
when they showed the guy the before
guy he was
typing on his laptop
sitting on the toilet
so this guy has no chairs in his face
was this was it where his pants down no his pants were up but that it made it look like
don't do this in the bathroom still get a chair away don't you yeah now graham you're uh you've
recently become a park chair guy guy who brings a chair to the park that's right how's that any
updates on that um i i've taken to uh drinking around the back of my apartment building because
there's a little patch of grass there and i wait were you drinking in the park illegally
yes yes absolutely you become a criminal now yeah's right. What kind of chair?
Could you describe the chair to me?
It's like,
uh,
it's like a folds into a kind of a,
uh,
almost like a full robot to a tube kind of thing.
Yeah.
It folds into a robot.
And then I ride that to the park.
Um,
but it's not like one of those ones where it's like a square and then you
fold up the legs on the back kind of thing.
It's like that old school one.
It's,
it's like four posts kind of deal.
Oh,
so I've been drinking in the park.
I love it.
I'll never not do it.
It's my new favorite thing.
And I wouldn't have known about it if it weren't for this whole situation.
You know what I mean?
See? Yeah. Yeah. yeah is that what about that that's anything good to come of the pandemic uh
i don't know that's a good question i don't think so no it's i mean there are like little bits of conventions or laws that people may never go back to.
Like, you know, people who were told that they could never telecommute to their job are realizing that that was all bullshit and they could, they totally could.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
They totally could.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
And like there's restaurants here that now when you get takeout, you can get alcohol takeout and that doesn't need to go back.
Yeah. The old way.
That's rad.
Yeah.
And also getting booze delivered to your house.
Even radder.
Yeah.
Now.
What about I think a lot of it like people are realizing, too, they don't need to go into the office as much as they did.
Yeah.
Right.
That's like meetings can happen at home home and i hope that continues for people yeah i also
am not keen to go back to the handshake i'm fine without the handshake oh my god then like
the hugging uh uh like you don't hug someone when you meet them no the first time but like
but i do french them yes but like sometimes
you meet someone and you'll hang out with them for a little while and then a hug goodbye like
that's way too soon to be hugging yeah yeah like it's like uh elaine and the sponge are you
touch worthy are you hug worthy exactly i but i i have i like a handshake i really do do you
i'm a i'm a handshaker. Do you always?
Because this has always been the convention with stand-up is you shake hands with the host before you go to the mic.
So I don't know.
I don't know if we'll ever see that again.
Maybe we won't.
Wow.
Yeah.
We're going to lose the handshake.
I think because everybody's going to have to plug their own mic in and walk it over to the stand.
And then.
Oh, God.
Do I need to get a mic? What yeah oh god do i need to get a
mic what kind of mic do i need to get you have one you're talking into one can i bring this into
i bring this to a comedy club no why not you can yeah i would get so uh for the lister before the
show uh this is this is deborah's first time using the mic is that true yes and about this
whole system we appreciate it it didn't come with a windsock, so I have a literal sock on it.
It's chilly.
Yes, it didn't come with a windsock.
And now that sock is orphaned.
That's it.
There's only one sock?
Yeah, it's suckaloo.
Now, in addition to our overheards, sometimes people send in their overheards from around the world.
Yes.
And if you want to do so, you can send it in to spy at Maximalfun.org
and this first one
mostly I'm reading it because
it is from Melbourne, Australia
and
it's everything you would want
an overheard from Australia to be
oh boy
I don't even want to say anything
I'm Jess M from Melbourne Melbourne, Australia. I was walking
by myself at dusk through a
seaside park. There was also
a family there having a picnic.
Five kangaroos started slowly
hopping across the park.
I'm joking.
Eating grass and
nuzzling each other. This beautiful
scene was interrupted by a panicked
seven-year-old saying,
Quick! You climb up that tree so the
kangaroo can't eat you! Go!
Oh no!
But as soon as I read the kangaroo
thing, I was like, this, the overheard,
it's making the cut.
The kangaroo was surfing on a
crocodile.
Drinking a
Koala Springs.
crocodile drinking a koala springs uh do you guys remember koala springs of course i don't know if it was anywhere but here though you must have had it no i remember that you
remember koala springs yeah no i don't no i don't i remember kokanee sorry no koala springs was like
a carbonated um juice. Juice, yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I like the sounds of it.
Because there was that...
It came in a bottle.
Yeah, it was that stretch of time when Australia was like,
we like Australian culture.
Yeah.
The Dundee time.
Shortly after, very shortly after.
Yeah.
Between Yahoo Sirius and Crocodile Dundee.
Yeah.
Oh, gosh.
It was a hot week hot week um there was a
paul hogan hosted the oscars one year he did oh my god yeah what the hell co-hosted
with an alligator crocodile yeah no with goldie hawn
am i right about that i don't know i hope you are i know that there was one year that uh peewee
herman was uh giving out an award and robocop showed up and shot like uh whatever the t1000
or whatever the other model of robocop was so it's that's a clip if you've never heard of it
google it online i it sounds too good to be true exactly yeah it's got all the things
right it was hosted by are you looking up uh yeah 1987 the oscars hosted by chevy chase goldie hawn
and paul hogan wow hosts now they have no hosts yeah maybe they blew all their budget on that
hogan was so expensive also like the two of those people if they had
twitter their twitter would have like been the reason they couldn't host like we dug up this
old tweet from chevy chase turns out he's the worst um this next one comes from colin t from
arizona i was at a Hobby Lobby.
Do you know what a Hobby Lobby is?
I'm not sure what it is. A craft store?
I'm going to find out.
It's a pro-life
craft store. Oh, is it
a religiously craft store? Yeah.
Alright. A Holy Lobby.
It should be called.
Holy Moly.
It's just an idea.
Exactly. And there's no bad ideas in the room. We're just an idea. It's an idea.
Yeah,
it's just exactly.
And there's no bad ideas in the room.
We're just,
we're just spitballing.
So I was at a hobby lobby with my wife.
She was picking up decor for a bathroom and I overheard a teenage girl and a friend talking to her mom.
The girl said,
can we leave now?
This place is expensive.
We need to go to the dollar store.
Things are cheap at the dollar store.
Like how much are the things?
You know what?
Surprisingly, very few things are a dollar at a dollar store.
Yeah, they've really adjusted it.
They've moved the needle a bit.
Yeah, it's like a toonie store
or it's a dollar 25 store like a dollar the dollar is the currency we're using but you know
this this chocolate bar is eight dollars i just bought an eight doll it would have to be one of
those novelty toblerones for them to like justify that eight dollar price tag um this last one i was laughing i was frozen i was laughing
you missed all my laughing there was so much thank you i would love one of those tobalarons
i don't think i've i mean i i think i've always any tobalarone i've had has been disappointing
because in my mind it's like the peak of chocolate bars it's got a little peak in it too so it's like the peak of chocolate bars. It's got a little peak in it too. It is true.
It feels like Toblerone feels like Christmas
to me. Am I wrong? Yeah, no, you're right.
Doesn't it? It feels very Christmassy.
It feels like duty free to me. I defied
E1 in June. It feels wrong to E1 in June.
What are you doing?
I saw some kid out on the
corner eating a Toblerone
in the middle of the summer.
What kind of weird family do you come from?
Do you remember Swiss Chalet?
Swiss Chalet used to give out Toblerones.
Yeah, was that part of a Christmas thing?
Yeah, that was their festive special.
Do I remember it? Yes.
It's called the festive special, Graham.
Yes.
And then after a while, they were like, Toblerone's too expensive.
Then they would give you three of those fucking little lint balls
you know those little
and I was like really really
we're on to you Swiss Chalet
yeah you're rich
you're from Switzerland
and you own a chalet
so clearly
anyway okay go on there's another one
I think I want
I mean like I didn't i gave up tobal runs
for a long time i actually to be honest i could have some swish a lay right now if i could if i
got right here right now i'd be fucking jazzed dip that chicken into the sauce oh yeah and the
wet fries wet oh do we have it here anymore yeah we have one here like way kind of closer to the
airport. Oh, God.
Now, the last overheard is from
Angela H. from Toronto.
This was said directly to me,
so not exactly an overheard. We'll take it.
Yeah. I said
I love you to my three and a half
year old son, and in response he said i love
the tv i like that yeah that's fun i like you mom but i love the tv i love the tv that's cute now
in addition to overheards that are written and we we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.
That's one.
Ugh.
SpyPod 1, like these people have.
Now, I had a little cable that I used to attach things.
Oh, it's on the ground.
Found it.
Found it.
Hooray.
I was going to have to...
Oh, did you see that spark when i plugged it in
didn't happen that time keep trying oh do you oh yeah
hey gravedam impossible desk this is thomas in des moines calling in with an overheard
i was at the grocery store and this man and woman were talking. And the man said, we really like to go there because they have whatever you want, fajitas.
And the woman said, oh, so it's like you get to build your own fajita.
And he goes, no.
And she's like, okay, so it's like you get to pick the toppings on the fajita.
so it's like you get to pick the toppings on the fajita
and then he got
visibly frustrated and said
no there's a menu
and you get to pick one of the
fajitas from the menu
they're whatever you want
fajitas
you don't have to order whatever
they have
because this is still a restaurant
but whatever you want fajitas does imply
like yeah i want yeah you're right that's true salmon and mushroom fajita with chocolate so
dessert fajitas think about that for a second am i right a dessert fajita dessert fajita would be
amazing this is my idea my idea my idea i'm your idea yeah what would be amazing. This is my idea. My idea. My idea. It's your idea. Yeah. What would you, like, you can get a, at the ice cream store up the street, they do a,
like a taco.
They turn the waffle cone into a taco and you get like a waffle.
Subway.
Fine.
But a fajita is different.
It's sizzling.
It is different.
It is sizzling.
Yeah.
We got to eat it fast.
Really fast. Yeah. it could be wrapped the outside of it could be wrapped in like a crepe oh my god the inside chunks of chocolate and
stuff like that marshmallows chocolate gummy bears gummy bears then do a raspberry drizzle
on it you know this is sounds fucking delicious i haven't had a fajita in a long time like
because i'll get a burrito i'll get tacos but you have to be in the restaurant at like a
a restaurant where they you know table service and they have to bring it to you sizzling and
everyone has to look yeah yeah i mean like if you're shy you don't want a fajita do you know
what i'm saying i know everyone looks at you like okay, look it. I'm eating enough for 10.
I would say it's maybe been like since my early teens, since I ordered fajitas.
I would honestly say early twenties.
It's been a long time.
Guys, we're not living well.
No, that's true.
We're not living our best life.
We're our true selves.
I know it.
No, I think we just decided we like different Mexican things.
Yeah, maybe.
I do want that sizzling pan.
Also, there was a place called Chi-Chi's when I was a kid,
and they had fried ice cream, and that was big.
And it came with a sparkler, so if you got dessert,
it was like, eyes on this person, fried ice cream. So it was like eyes on this person fried ice cream so it was like a
scoop of it dipped in batter and deep fried yeah baked alaska yeah it was uh it was excellent
it was excellent came with a sparkler everybody in the restaurant and people outside would pay
attention uh people waiting to get into chi chi's yeah that does it does it does take a little bit of like
you have to want to be the center of attention
right yes
alright here's your next phone call
hey Dave and Graham it's George from Nova Scotia
it's Overheard
I was in a gas station
waiting to pay
for my gas and there was a guy in front of me
with a
old man adventure hat front of me with a old man
adventure hat. Kind of looked like a
Indiana Jones
fedora with some webbing on it,
I guess. And
a real cool guy.
And it was a
little girl with her mom
just off to the side there waiting for some ice cream.
And the little girl looked at the
guy's hat and she said,
Look, Mom, that's a dick hat.
And the mom said,
Excuse me? And the girl said,
For digging.
That guy's wearing that hat for digging.
Alright, thanks guys. I love your show.
The dick hat for digging.
Yeah.
Those are called tilly hats right
am I wrong about that I'm thinking of that
yeah yeah
George had a hot voice am I wrong
wow yeah
yikes I'm sorry
no you're right it was
it was kind of like a
bit like Sam Elliott you know what I mean
let me hear again
hey Dave Graham it's George
from the school chef. Oh, yeah, okay.
Do you want me to
send you the file, Debra?
I wouldn't say no.
I'm not not going to listen to it,
you know what I'm saying?
Okay, let's move on.
Here's your final overheard.
Hi, Dave Graham and possible
guest. This is Jess from Medford, Massachusetts, calling in an overseen for you.
My husband and I were driving through the Worcester area,
and we drove by a church that had a sign up with a message for the community that read,
God bless, be safe, no yoga.
Truly words to
live by. That's my year
round slogan.
Be safe.
What was the second thing?
God bless, be safe, no yoga.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know what? I'm on a real
hot no yoga street.
Since I did it
10 years ago.
I think it would have been nice if it said what was it was the first one it was god bless god bless and be safe no scrubs
now remind me what uh what a scrub is a guy who thinks he's fly
also known as a buster i don't know that's true um well i think that brings us to the end of this
here podcast hey deb what do you got online that people can enjoy aside from these many zoom shows
you're on yeah i have the zoom shows i mean at this point it's just follow me on instagram
deborah dg okay twitter i'm still active on twitter i still active on twitter well it's just follow me on instagram deborah dg okay twitter i'm still active on twitter i
still active on twitter well it's pushing it what uh where can we find you on an instagram or a
twitter instagram is deborah dg and twitter is my full name deborah did you ready perfect and
what are you on tiktok i'm don't i'm not gonna tell to tell you. Anonymous D.
Why do you want TikTok too old?
Well, thank you so much for being our guest, Deb.
It's been fabulous.
Pleasure. I'm so sorry that this was, we stopped and started so much.
We did stop and start.
The listeners, I hope, will never notice.
Never know.
Always good to see you both. Lovely to be here.
Yeah, you too.
And everybody out there, thank you so much for listening.
Make sure to support us.
Graham, go to MaximumFun.org slash join.
Support the show so Graham doesn't have to write people's dating profiles.
Yeah, and I say at the end of every episode,
God bless.
Stay safe.
No yoga. no yoga maximumfun.org
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