Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 662 - Brent Butt

Episode Date: November 24, 2020

Comedian Brent Butt returns to talk old variety shows, Dave’s amusing dream, and breaking a tooth.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 662 of Stog Podcast Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's too hot to handle, too cold to hold, Dave Shumka. They're called the Ghostbusters and they're in control. There you go. And throwing a party for a bunch of children when all the while the slime was under the building. So they packed up a group, caught a grip, came equipped, brought the croton packs on their back, and they split.

So not about Vigo, the master of evil. Try to batter my boys. That's not legal. This is exactly the effect that I wanted, and it was perfect. Yeah, what was the...

Yeah, there's the Atlantis song at the same time. Always too hot, never too cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Always. Always. Yeah.

That's our promise to you always too hot i think that would be a good restaurant um our food is always too hot never too cold um our guest today a returning guest to the podcast uh he is currently you'd see him on television a cartoon version of him on television uh corner gas out animated and for people down south uh at some point in the near future you're going to be able to watch the this canadian juggernaut in your own country it's brent but hello i like let's refer to me as a canadiangernaut. I like that idea. Yeah. Canadian juggernaut. Yeah, because Wolverine's from Canada,

so Canadian juggernaut's not out of the question. Yeah, they've got Canadian superheroes. That's a thing. Yeah. Was Juggernaut from X-Men? Yeah. Was a bad guy? Yeah, he was a bad guy, yeah. Played by Vinnie Jones in the X-Men movies.

Played by Vinnie Jones in the X-Men movies. But he's one of those difficult kids. To capture him as he appeared in the comic books in the movie is tricky because he's a behemoth. He's like the size of a rhinoceros, right? And so even your Vinnie Joneses aren't that big. Did he have a big helmet like yeah he had a big helmet big helmet but he was not it wasn't like he put a giant helmet on a regular sized guy he was like the size of the hulk yeah kind of did you see the deadpool sequel he's in

that no i have no i have not seen the sequel i want to see that yeah because i enjoyed the first one yeah me too it was cursing apl. You know how I love the cursing? I love when he lost his legs and then he had to grow them back and they were baby legs for a while. Oh, baby legs. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. That was, I think, the only movie, first deadpool was the only movie i've ever

seen in one of those rumble seats oh really at the movie theaters have you ever been in those in the back of an old car you mean in the back of mort drucker's car it was just uh yeah i mean it was like it was kind of unpleasant because it never stopped. And did it do water as well or just rumbling around? No, I did a little bit of water, though. I saw the notebook at one of those, and it didn't move at all. It was a real waste of 80 bucks. 80 bucks.

You're sure this is going to be worth it? Mm-hmm. Oh, yes. How much James Garner are we talking is that there or that's a different movie yeah he's in the notebook yeah i never actually saw the notebook oh it's great the the chair rumbles as he slowly slips away have you seen the notebook gra Graham? Yeah, but... I lived it. I don't have to say that I lived it. Who do you think it was based on?

The Brent Butt story. Yeah, I saw it on a plane, I think. So maybe half paying attention. But, you know, it's sappy. I know that. Don't you pay more attention on the plane? What else do you have going on? I usually end up looking at the person next to me or in front of me whatever they're watching yeah i'll find that i will look over even if me and the person beside me are watching the same

thing i'm still watching on his screen yeah i'll still be looking over the other persons there's some like i'm a primordial urge to snoop even if i have this if we got the same thing going i'm still looking at the other person if you're in a restaurant that has tvs can you focus on anything other than the tv no it's it's hard i can but it's like a constant like i'm forcing myself to not like to pay attention to the jibber jabber for the person i'm with i was watching a movie uh at home on tv and i realized every minute or so that i wasn't paying attention so i went back a minute to see what had happened so and then the next minute would come along and i would not pay attention during that so i'm not sure what's wrong with me the next minute would come along like that the graham clark story

the next minute comes along what's after that another one i suppose um so brent it's been about a year maybe a little more than a year since you've been on the podcast what's what's been shaking i mean obviously the the horrible end times and all that kind of stuff, but, you know, that aside. Dark angels winging around the house. You know, I mean, we've been fortunate in that you know, I'm

making a TV show that is animated right now, and so animation lends itself to be able to kind of fragment and people can work separately more so than a lot of live productions which had to you know they've had to shut right down right so we have been counting my blessings because we've been able to keep uh churning out episodes of corner gas animated we had to you know rejig and and everything and and revisit how we did things but we were able to make

those adjustments and then um you know it's just a lot of staying at home and uh i wrote a novel i think i told you yeah because that's always been on my list of things to do and like i was like if being shut in for months at a time if not now when the deuce am I ever going to do it? So I, now I'm thinking why didn't I do it? Well, I've had an idea for a novel for a while. And so I thought I'm going to, and I, you know, it's something that I always, I often kicked around. And so I decided to get serious about it and yeah, banged it out. Is it, is it being published?

It's being read by some lit agents in new york right now some high-powered literary agents i'm sure they'll uh be able to let me know whether it sucks or not i've had good feedback like i've had some beta readers uh read it and the response has been really encouraging so i'm the biggest beta there is and i haven't read it not cuck reading not beta cuck readers oh boy hey cuck means something i didn't you know i've always heard like what people people say cuck and then i only just found out recently what it actually means like you stand by while some guy bangs your asses right somebody like mike i like Mike Holmes. I had no idea of the whole... I thought it was just like some kind of, you know...

Like cake or something like that? Like you're wimpy or something, you know? I came up with a pretty fun little song about it. Do you want to hear it? Do I? A-ba-ba-ba-da-cuck. A-ba-ba-ba-da-cuck. You put your ding-dong into my wife. a beta cuck a beta cuck you put your ding dong

into my wife and then that's about as far as I got I like it that would be like on a morning zoo crew quick song parody oh man you always hear people say, like,

the same people who call you a snowflake would call you a cuck, right? Yeah. And then you're like, but that's not. So a snowflake is like super easily offended and wilts away. A cuck is like the opposite of that. They're so unoffended. Certainly have sex with my wife. Whatever floats your boat.

Come on. I insist upon it. Yeah. It's the opposite of the snowflake he can be offended you can even have sex with his wife and he's like what are you gonna do i'm gonna go make a sandwich so they're all mixed up those people yeah yeah have you been called one online has anybody taken that step i think i have yeah back when i used to like i used to be a little more uh political online and then i just kind of got tired of it more than anything so that but you know what i found recently i did a uh i put out a very innocuous political tweet on Instagram, which I've never, or I didn't put a tweet out on Instagram.

I put out a post, a really softly political post on Instagram. And I've always looked at Instagram as less of a place where people get their nose out of joint, you know? Yeah. And man alive, they, so here's what all it was that I posted.

So the day that uh the election was called for biden um and you know people were driving around honking their horns and everything this is the american election this is the united states of america okay democratic election and uh so i just posted a picture of trump looking off to the side and i put a little bubble that said what's all that honking? You know, I had people like go, that's it. I can't follow you because of your political views.

I was like, wow, that's for like, that's fairly innocuous. What I put out some snowflakes. Yeah. That's the thing. It's like the same people that are,

they're always there. Mock people for getting triggered. And then I was like, wow, you couldn't take that. It's like the same people that always mock people for getting triggered. And then I was like, wow, you couldn't take that? It was literally like Trump looking off to the side and a bubble that said, what's all that honking? That was the entirety of the joke. And, you know, granted, it was, you know, half a percent of the response from people. It was a hard day for us trump supporters that i mean i i feel it i don't feel like uh i feel like the yeah the uh election was rigged

and uh we'll finally get to the bottom of that yes and we absolutely will and count every vote and stop counting let's get our story straight that should have been their chant get our story straight get our story straight yeah the uh uh boy oh boy uh canada election process it takes about at most isn't it like a month that it's allowed to go on and then the election from when it's called until they do it yeah isn't it like four weeks some very small period of time yeah i mean that's merciful yeah yeah it really is and you know i think a big part of that too though is like we have the uh i don't know all

the nuts and bolts about it but our you know we have much less money in well i could have just stopped the sentence right there we have much less money but we have much less money in well i could have just stopped the sentence right there we have much less money but we have much less money in politics like we have regulations in terms of it's kind of savvy how how it's done they don't and i may be wrong about this somebody can write in via email or something and get and get don't write us right my feet to the fire right right brand and i put the headline triggered at the time and then i triggered cock at but that's snowflake.com which is a domain i was just able to register but they we regulate not how much money a political party can raise just like fill your boots whatever you can get but um how much money a political party can raise, just like fill your boots, whatever you can get, but,

um, how much you can spend on campaigning is regulated. Everybody can spend the same amount on campaigning and they monitor what is and what isn't campaign spending. And I think that's a smart way to keep the kind of keep things level, level the playing field. Yeah. And I,

I spend most of my money donating to political parties. I love it yeah it is exciting there's no i don't know i don't know if that happens i guess people must donate to political parties here but i would like to see the widespread like whoever's the farthest down on the ballot like some uh you know independent or the communist or satanist party or whatever and donate to that person just to blow their mind yeah i remember when i box where did this come from when i first started following politics in the early 90s i remember it was the election of jean chretien yes and uh doug henning was on the

ballot oh yeah and the natural law party floating above the ballot yeah the yoga floating thing um he was uh for people who don't know he was a magician right yeah was he ever yeah was he like did you ever see him as a magician like on tv like never live i was never able to get tickets but um i you know on tv certainly and he always had like a onesie like a 1970s variety show onesie you know like he like he was one of the hudson brothers there's a reference for your listeners i don't know i don't know either are they in deadpool yeah look look up uh look up the hudson brothers razzle dazzle hour oh my god this is so terrific this was one of those 1970s variety shows that can that american companies produced in canada they would come up and they would take

advantage of our tax credits or whatever the hell the deal was and you'd get every one of them would have murray langston billy van ted ziggler on as writers. Murray Langston was one of the writers? Yeah. And also play like secondary comedic parts. So you had your Billy Van, Murray Langston, and Ted Ziegler. Those three guys, they were on the Sonny and Cher show. They were on Donny and Marie, I think. Wow, the Hudson brothers.

Are they musicians? Yeah. They all seem to have guitars. Yeah, they're musicians. The, they all seem to have guitars. Yeah. They're musicians. The, uh, unknown comic is something Langston,

but it's not. Yeah. It is. It's Murray Langston. Same guy. Oh, Murray Langston created the unknown comic later for the gong show, but pre the gong show pre him becoming the unknown comic.

He was a sketch guy and, and a comedy writer and he and billy van and ted ziegler seemed to be on every variety show and they were quality billy i was always a big fan of billy van is he the leader kind of guy um i don't know it was just three of them they were all pretty it seemed to share the wealth but billy van i found so there was another tv show nothing i grew up with two channels remember so i didn't have a lot of uh exposure to all the top hits of the day one of the shows i loved would come out in the afternoon so i would see it during summer holidays when i was home from school come on the afternoon on ctv it was called party Game. And it was basically just charades.

So it was always the home team would go up against a team comprised of other Canadian celebs. Oh, man. Somebody who had written a book on drywall or something. You know? you know and so so the home team was like billy van captain jack duffy dina christie this is great you could be making up every one of those names yeah anyway i was a big billy van well i was a fan of the show when we started uh corner gas i was going to have have Billy Van audition to play the role of Oscar. Oh, really?

But he sadly passed away just before. Anything to get out of doing Corner Gas. But Captain Jack Duffy, who was captain of the home team, I got him the cameo. He played a character on Corner Gas. Oh, really? He played the oldest man in Dog River. Oh, yeah. Okay, so that was him.

Murray Langston. I have a funny Murray Langston story that I may have told on the podcast before. Oh, go. I don't know any. When I was like 15, my parents and the whole family went to Las Vegas because Cause at the time it was being marketed as like, come, it was before like have sex with somebody and we'll keep the secret. It was the family fun time.

That's right. And so we were staying at one of the hotels on the strip. And, uh, the first day we went up the elevator and there was a poster in the elevator that said the, the unmasking of the unknown comic live and it was happening in the bar in the hotel we were staying at wow and i kind of did like the simpsons

like can we go to mount splash where can we go to swan's i just kept asking my dad can we please go see this and uh he oh man oh man did it not disappoint my dad took me and he did a bunch of bag jokes he had the bag on his head so for people who don't know the unknown comic was on the gong show that's where he started and he wore a bag on his head and he became a sensation yeah he had a paper bag on his head right and he would do jokes like you know that was my mistake i kept performing with a plastic bag on my head. Keep blacking out at the two minute mark.

Yeah. So he he did all these bits with the bag. One of them was like he had a bag and then he had like a small bag as a nose. And he said that he was Carl Maudlin or something like that. Carl Maudlin. Yeah, Maudlin. And I was like, I don't know who that is. I'm not getting a lot of his jokes.

And then he took the paper bag off, and then he played some jazz on a keyboard. The known jazz musician. Even without the bag, he was an unknown jazz musician musician that's right i i love that you had two channels i feel like it makes a lot of sense that you didn't have a variety of channels so they made every show was a variety show yeah they made up for it with content with the variety in the content itself um did you watch like don messler's jubilee was that was that a hit at your household um yeah it was a big hit at the house i didn't watch it much i was told to shut up while it was on that was one of the

things you had to when don messer's jubilee came on zip it clam it what what i don't know that i don't know any of these describe don messer's jubilee was like uh you know there was like a country music hoedown kind of a thing okay and from the east coast of canada don messer's Jubilee was like, you know, it was like a country music hoedown kind of a thing. Okay. From the east coast of Canada, Don Messer's Jubilee. And wasn't he like, he was a fiddle player? Was that his? Yeah, they were all, everybody on the show was a fiddle player. There was about 83 fiddle players.

That was all. Yeah, the 88 Fiddler Orchestra. Yeah. So it was like, you know again it was just kind of like a it it was like an early you know country version of a country rural version of the lawrence wilk show oh yeah right okay so it would be like music and then he wouldn't interview people it's just musicians coming out and doing their thing yeah he he barely said two words in the 18 years it ran or whatever were that was there an never-ending supply of these shows because like there's ones i can think of that i never saw like

don kirshner's rock concert or the tom jones show or whatever tom jones was also done here and tom jones had billy vann and ted ziggler and mary langston was also done here. And Tom Jones had Billy Vann and Ted Ziegler and Mary Langston. That was done here in Vancouver, the Tom Jones show. Really? Yeah. That was produced here in Vancouver, Canada. Huh. It's what?

Tax credits? How many local ladies were succumbed to the charms of Tom Jones? They ran out of underwear here. There's an underwear shortage for a little while. Do you remember, did you guys ever see Sean Keen? Yeah. Fantastic comedian from Montreal. With the sunglasses all the time.

Passed away now. So yeah, always wore sunglasses, had his hair slicked back. That was one of the jokes that he did that I always loved was he said, his delivery was always like this all the time i took my grandmother to see tom jones she got so excited she fainted that was embarrassing me having to toss her underwear on stage for her I recommend your Your listeners Look up

Sean Keen That's another one of the He was a super funny Canadian comic Yeah While you're at that Look up Sean Bean Popular actor

And Bean Keen Is Sean Bean the one That always gets killed? Is that the guy? Yeah But not He's not the one They call Mr. Bean No It's a different character It's a different Bean Even though technically the one that always gets killed is that the guy yeah um but not he's not the one they call mr bean

no different character all together it's a different b even though technically he would be mr bean they're brothers do you know his real name because his name is spelled s-e-a-n-b-e-a-n scene bean yeah his real name is sean spelt different right but b like you changed it for showbiz so it just like was the same. Sean Bunn. Just to make me mad. Sean Bunn is how it's pronounced. It's spelt Bean, but it's pronounced Bunn.

Yeah. It's pronounced Popeil. Sean Bunn. He was in Duran Duran, wasn't he? Sean LeBun. Yeah, Sean LeBun. He threw some underwear at him as well. Yeah.

Was Tom Jones the only artist at the time that women were throwing their underwear at? Or was that just of the time everybody was throwing underwear everywhere? Yeah, I couldn't answer that. He's the only one I know of. He's the only one that it's associated with in my head. I mean, that's pretty, like, in the legend of entertainersers to be the one person associated with women throwing their underwear. Yeah. During the late 80s, early 90s, I was the guy that people would throw their ashtrays at.

It seemed, I don't know where the habit caught on, but at many of the one-nighters I would do in Northern Ontario. Yeah. When Tom Jones played Philadelphia, they did throw batteries at him. caught on but at many of the one-nighters i would do in northern ontario yeah when tom jones played philadelphia they did throw batteries at him i did do it i did a joke one time about the doing the dodge the ashtray festival i'm performing him in sudbury for the dodge the ashtray festival gonna bring a helmet this year live and learn what uh when you were in Northern Ontario, what kind of gigs were you doing in Northern Ontario? Was this like a sports bar or worse? Yeah, lots of sports bars, lots of bars off the hotel lobby.

Yeah. So yeah, we would play the Empire Hotel in North Bay. We would play a lot would play the empire hotel in north bay we would play uh uh you know like yeah a lot of sports bars a lot of like comedy against your will it's good chris finn always used to call it it's comedy against your will he used to do a funny impression of like when you go on stage and he would say when you get this look from an audience member and he would turn his back to you and then he would crane his head around like he's not even facing the stage. He's got his back to the stage.

He's turning around all annoyed. You'd get a lot of that kind of look. Right, because they shut down Shuffle. And that's actually what the subject of my novel that I wrote is kind of early 90s. These two comedians who find themselves, one chicago once from ireland they find themselves on the road through this kind of rough stretch of rural canada doing these bad gigs and they got this local act opening for them and as they get as they travel along this road it becomes more and more evident that this opening act is um psychologically unhinged and has a tremendous capacity for violence and so they

find themselves in this remote like it's a psychological thriller novel just based on the back the backdrop of stand-up comedy because that's what i know but that's kind of what it's about is playing all these horrible one-nighters and you you're with an opening act that you're like this this dude might kill us and leave us in the ditch yeah and you could have based that on just every other comedian well that's the thing like i've been sitting on this idea for a long time because there were lots of times on the road where you're like on the road with somebody and you're there's all there's there's a lot of not a lot of but you you encounter these people who are i always call them needlessly intense like just like everything was an issue right why isn't there any ketchup on the table dude relax i'm sure if you ask somebody nicely

they'll bring you ketchup you know those people that are I was on the road one time with a guy who was clearly way too intense. And throughout the course of the trip, he started telling me he was taking testosterone on top of it. And he was mad at me that I didn't go out partying with him with this biker gang that he went out with afterwards. And he was telling me about how he almost got into a fight with one of the biker guys i'm just like this whole story is everything i was happy to avoid this is all terrible terrible things you're telling me but he was telling it to me and like boy you really missed out yeah and you should have seen me i was doing shots of testosterone yeah yeah i to him, you're the last guy that I've ever met that should take testosterone. You're already right on the cusp of punching everybody in meat.

Right. And now you're adding testosterone to the mix. I just, I accidentally fell in a vat of estrogen. Yeah. My estrogen is through the roof already. Yeah. yeah my estrogen is through the roof yeah um yeah that sounds uh that sounds great that's a very good premise yeah book i love it uh you know what i'm gonna call my high-powered agent in new york and tell him yeah

get on this yeah um yeah is it uh so is it like a bit of a mystery or is it more of a thriller more of a thriller like it's just you know as you're going along you know the the notion is these two comics one who's kind of on the tail end of a career he's thinking about getting out of the business that's the headliner things aren't going his way. He's, you know. And then the other act, who's from Ireland, is kind of on an upswing. He's got some heat. She's got interest from LA management,

and there's a production company once again. So they're on different trajectories, but they're kind of kindred spirits. They're both funny. They're both good stand-ups. Right. But anyway, on this run of shows shows a local kid is hired to open for his big strapping kid and yeah there's you know i don't want to give too much away but there's like

um there's some skullduggery in terms of shows the show payment them not getting paid and that kind of things but the main thing is them realizing that this kid that's opening for us is uh he's a bit of a powder keg and the farther you go the more you realize he's not wired upright and he's he's big and has a tremendous capacity for violence this is uh this yeah this reads like a true story even if it's's not. Graham, what's your capacity for violence? Is it tremendous? Yeah, I mean, it's not tremendous, but it is fantastic.

I have fantastic capacity for violence. Just watching, not doling out, though. Oh, right, right, right. You have a tolerance for violence. You have a high tolerance for violence. That's right. I have a tremendous tolerance for violence yeah um i have a tremendous tolerance for violence when everybody is a willing participant like watching you know like uh mixed martial arts

or something like that but i have a big fan of yeah i mean less and less and less i'm still a fan of the thing i become less and less a fan of ufc it seems more i don't know it's not less and less my cup of tea but the notion of two highly skilled dudes who get into the cage to see who's the more skilled combatant uh is fascinating to me yeah i like the idea i want them to do it with two uh unskilled guys but very willing yeah who are just like well the first ones did you ever see those first like the first ufc from denver colorado was that one the one with the hudson brothers yeah the wrestle dazzle hour um no but it was like you know there were a couple dudes in there that were just seemed to be like bar thugs, you know, like it.

Yeah, I think I'd be interested in that. Well, because it was it was like a bar thug versus somebody who trained in Taekwondo. Yeah, somebody very skilled. And it was really demonstrated the difference between. But there was all you know, you can find those days. There's those. So you think you're tough competitions. You ever see those?

That's why it's it's wall to competitions. You ever see those? No. It's wall to wall, just bar goon tough guys. And they're called So You Think You're Tough competition. And it's just dudes going out, super haymakers, whoosh, whoosh. Like no skill at all, you know? But like, wouldn't those guys just become friends instantly because of all the common ground? Oh, yeah. Oh, you also like start unnecessary fights do bum fights still exist do they still make bum fights uh yeah probably does i mean it's horrible it's yeah that's that's that's maybe humanity's lowest

point maybe i mean not saying the night is young that's a low bar but yeah i mean that's that's pretty far down the list yeah what humans should be doing but yeah like i man i had a friend who had a video of where they called pride fights or something they have some weird name or like tng or whatever they were but he used to have to know somebody that had a tape of it and he had a tape of it. And it was hilarious. There was a guy who I think was a garbage man and he fought against a guy who was all martial arts.

It was like seeing a bear fight a crane. It was so crazy. Is the video quality any good? No, it's very bad. I don't have a, I have a low tolerance for bad video. Yes have a high i have a low tolerance for bad video yes i tolerance for violence low tolerance for bad video you're your old quandary you really

have to start watching violence post 2002 yeah i'm really like i need 4k violence i remember uh i remember getting our first color television at home and my dad being super jacked to get it in the car, home, and set up before Stampede Wrestling started. Ah, Stampede Wrestling. It was a Saturday afternoon and he was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, the RCA, let's go, load it up. We got to get it home because Stampede Wrestling is coming on. There's going to be, we're going to see that bloodbath in living color. Do you remember when you had to talk to the salesman and ask for their expertise

back before you could research it yourself? Yeah. And the guy's telling you, hey, this plug has two prongs. Some TV guys will only give you one prong, but here at our place, two prongs some tv guys will only give you one prong but here at our place two prongs yeah the uh my dad he tells me about when the first kid on his street where the first family on his street had color tv and they invited the whole neighborhood over and i mean the screen was

probably six or seven inches. Well, I remember, I have a very clear memory of being a little kid. Transitionally, when we still had the black and white TV before we had the color TV. And programs were, it was kind of new that they were being broadcast in color. And they would always say that at the top of the show. They would always say, you know, whatever was coming up. Kojak, whatever it would be. In color yes and i would i would hear that i would leap from the room and run to the living room to where the tv was because i thought even though he had a black and white tv they've said

it was going to be in color and i wanted to see it and it would always be disappointing and my older brother would have explaining to me very short-edly. Well, I got a block on my TV. What was, um, I want to get into those like seventies detective shows. Like, uh, I like the idea of Columbo.

We've already mentioned Carl Malden. We've already mentioned Carl Malden streets of San Francisco. Oh, and a young Mike Douglas. Oh, really? Yeah, Michael Douglas. Oh, wow. I didn't know he was in that.

Not Mike Douglas, the talk show guy. No, Michael Douglas. The producer of Once Over the Cuckoo's Nest. Mr. Catherine Zeta-Jones. Which, like, Brent, who would you recommend? What shows would you recommend for Dave to really dive into 70s detective shows? Well, I can't in good conscience say, well, I mean, aside from Columbo, which was awesome. That was just fantastic television.

Wall to wall, Columbo was fantastic. But I was big into a lot of ones that may not hold up. I loved Starsky and Hutch. Oh, yeah. They seemed like the two coolest dudes on the planet. I loved, well well at the same time charlie's angels for completely different reasons you know hormonally driven young fella well you were taking testosterone yeah the estrogen coming from the set so he was palpable

and charlie's angels but uh um yeah streets of san francisco was good kojak was great because he was super sleazy what was his deal like i i know uh um colombo pretended to be dumb yeah and to like get people to uh confess or whatever lower their guard they would always underestimate him because they were like this dopey guy. And it was also, it was the only show where they showed you, you knew the whole while who the killer was. That's right. You would come off the top. Right off the bat, the first scene of the show was the guy or gal killing the person. And so the crux of the show was how is Columbo going to find out, how is he going to prove, how is he going to determine that it was this person,

how is he going to prove that it was this person? Right. So it was kind of interesting because it was the only show like that where you knew who the killer was the whole way, like right from the first minute. Well, I know when I watched Law & Order and they were like, special guest star Fred Savage, I was like, well, I bet you Fred Savage is the killer yeah every time but what was the hook of

of uh kojak i know he was bald and he had a lollipop yeah that's really it he was like a tough talking sleazebag guy who was just yeah i mean he was like a no nonsense he was like listen idiot shut your stupid face he was like a unnecessary he was like the guy we were talking about needlessly intense was he and he was like that in real life too right like he was on the roasts stuff like that he seemed to act like a tough guy at the roast yeah yeah yeah that was his whole thing and he was always like kind of a a dark edgy he always played a dark edgy guy right um even pre being bald he was like a dark edgy dude did you ever see a british show called cracker yeah yeah and then they did a u.s spinoff and the u.s spinoff like in cracker the uk version he's chain smoker and then in the american version he just

sucked on lollipops i was like well that's that's kojak's thing man yeah that's lame and you're ripping off somebody else it was uh the guy who played him in america was the painting guy from murphy brown yeah that's right elton el Yeah. Yeah. That guy had a- You know what I was thinking? Because a lot of people are unaware of how many big US hit shows were taken from British television. Right. Mm-hmm.

Or sometimes Canadian television. Like Quincy was a ripoff of Wojak, which was a Canadian show. And the producer- But Wojak was a rip-off of Kojak. The producer of Quincy, his wife was working in Canada. And she said, you know, this is a great show about this,

up here about this medical examiner named Wojack. And it's great. And she told him about the show and he was like, yeah, we should do that here. And he made Quincy, but it was based on Wojack. Did he like just rip it off or was it say told him about the show. And he was like, yeah, we should do that here. And he made Quincy. But it was based on Wojak.

Did he just rip it off? Or was it saying? Yeah, the straight up. Yeah. That's a good idea. Well, let's do that. We're going to do that. We'll change his name.

Did Wojak make any money out of it? Not a damn dime. Wojak was played by, and I'm going to blank on the actor's name, the dean of the college in Animal House. You you know dean oh yeah yeah i remember i can picture his face canadian actor i'm blanking on his name that was wojak yeah that was a guy who played wojak and it was black and white he was in the 60s um did he smoke it was it was they tackled a lot of socially relevant issues at the time. Right. Um, so it was more hard hitting than the U S network kind of candy fluffed it up.

Right. He lives on a boat and, uh, yeah, that was a real, uh, has a lot of dates. Yeah. Like guys who live on a boat.

Who else other than Jake and the fat man, there was a boat guy. And, uh, I feel like there was Jake lived in the boat. The fat guy Fat Man there was a boat guy and I feel like there was Jake lived in the boat the fat guy didn't live in a boat which seems unfair oh that's another one

the Fat Man also William Conrad who played the Fat Man in Jake and the Fat Man in the 70s he had a cop show called Cannon

he was Cannon oh yeah drove a big Lincoln Conties, he was, he had a cop show called Canon. He was Canon. Oh yeah. Drove a big Lincoln continental. And he was, and he would never, there was always like the bad guy would take off running and William Conrad, not built for running.

He would just open the door of his car and just unload his gun at the guy who cracked me up. Even as a kid, some hoodlum just on the run and canon to just open up the door and start shooting at him i'm not chasing after you i uh there's a series of stills on of him on uh google images that i thought were the best thing in the world william conrad on canon canon were you googling it no i came across one and then i did that reverse image search and it said this guy from canon and then i was i was just blown away by all the pictures there's one where he's eating a sandwich and he looks really

disappointed it's the like trading cards for me. Oh, yeah. Wasn't Bill, the Cosby show, wasn't that based on, or Sanford and Son, something like that? Sanford and Son was based on a British show. And so was Three's Company and All in the Family. And what was the name of Three's Company over there? Man About the House. Man About the House, yeah. I think it was called Man About the House about the house something bad about you based on it's based on the stand-up of paul

riser somebody doesn't read the credits opening or closing credits based upon the stand-up comedy of paul based on the the novel couplehood by paul right i had that book as a kid because i was just like anything stand-up comedy i know would consume it so i had parent or couplehood and then he came up with parenthood as well and i read that too baby he had babyhood baby that's what it was yeah uh yeah i definitely had sign language yeah i had sign language yeah whatever ellen degeneres's book was and richard belzer's book on how to be a stand-up comedian i got that from the library how to be snarky i was too well into it by then i remember reading there was a book uh about stand-up um that all the stand-up seemed to be reading but aside from that i was too by the

time all those books came out i was too far down the road i was well into it but it's good to give yourself an audit you know even if you're down that road you just see what you've been doing wrong and uh it's really digging to judy carter's wisdom god damn everything i've been doing everything wrong this book is demoralizing it explains a lot um yeah the uh there like when i was a kid there was one book about doing stand-up comedy and i think it was judy carter's uh how to be a stand-up comic or something like that i wish i could remember the name of the one because it predated that judy carter one um was it richard belzer's guide to being a stand-up comedian or how to be a stand-up comic or something no no it wasn't that it was um

it was it was more i don't think it was written by a stand-up even i think it was a guy who interviewed a bunch of stand-ups about what it's like to be a stand-up oh wow so you'd like to life on the road it's the first time i ever heard that well read the term hell gig oh right yeah what's the if you can recall what's the worst hell gig that you've been on i mean because you might have blocked it out i mean we'll ask you all your favorite stories we're gonna after this we're gonna ask you the falco story i may i was going to say i may have told this story on your show about myself and chris you know i mentioned earlier we we we were doing a show at a so we get booked to do this show stop me you can edit it out if you if i've told the story before so it was another comedian who

said hey i got a i'm booking a gig uh you know you guys can go do this gig you got to do each of you do 45 minutes you know it's just the two of you but it's got to be an hour and a half so you just do 45 minutes all right pay was decent normal kind of pay so off we went and so this would be like maybe 1989 right 1990 something like that and we're driving outside to toronto i was living in toronto at the time we're driving kind of towards hamilton and we have this piece of paper that has these directions where you got to go turn right here jesus and it's next you know like we're getting farther and farther off the main drive we're in the woods now and we're like this is getting scarier and scarier

and we're joking as we're getting there like it's clear we're going to some roadhouse now you know cool and um chris finn he made a joke as we're driving there he said we're going to get there probably and the front door is going to have like a big confederate flag on it you know or a guy being tossed out and don't come back yeah so we get there and it's just an ocean of motorbikes. And it's like in this clearing in the bush. And it's really, it's like roadhouse. And so we were like, oh man. And I'm wearing a green sweater and Finn's in a suit. And we weren't told what kind of place this was going to be.

Would you, if you knew, would you have leathered up? I probably would have just said, I don't think this is for me. It doesn't sound like the type of gig where I could do well. of place this was going to be and so we would you if you knew would you have leathered up i would probably would have just said i don't think this is for me right doesn't sound like the type of gig where i could do well i probably would have said but i you know i was desperate for cash at the time too so i probably would have so anyway we walk up to this gig and we're like you know it's just hanging on us we know how bad this is going to be we walk into the place there's no rebel flag in the door but it is the backdrop of the stage when we get in and we see it's the biggest rebel flag i've ever seen in my life the confederate

flag that's the backdrop of the stage and um so we were kind of huddled in the corner it's just two of us and we're trying to like not make eye contact with anybody and it's just all like bikers right right and it's really rowdy and it's loud and everything and this guy comes over to us he says you guys the comedians this guy like the dj right you guys are comedians you're ready to go and i'm like yeah sure we we'd flipped a coin who had to go up first so finn lost so way i think he was so finn goes up and the response is exactly what you would expect it would be it's just like a wall of hate they just like what shut up so he's supposed to do 45 minutes he bails at about the 15 minute mark and he calls me up right okay come to the stage now your next guest so i

go up in my lovely green sweater that my mom got me for christmas the year before and um does it say mom on the front or something it had like the little you know like the little whatever the fancy ones were they had the polo or whatever they said this was the cheap version with the alligator or whatever the alligator there was some like a little i think whatever you got at zeller's whatever the little version of it was so anyway i go up and it's like they hate me probably a bit more than uh but you have to do an hour 15 now and so it's going so this is how bad it was going at one point maybe like the seven minute mark of just a wall of hate and you know you're trying to do your damn jokes because that's what you're getting paid to do yeah hell or high water i'm doing my jokes but it's going so badly that this big dude bald-headed dude telly savala style kojak style dude comes walking up not sucking on

a lollipop, but he walks up and he's got on his leg, he's got like a sheath strapped. It was like with a bowie knife on it, right? He pulls the bowie knife out of this sheath. It's about an eight inch bowie knife.

He points it at me and then drags it across his throat. And his head fell off. And so I, I literally said to him, this is like, it was so far gone. I already thought I was going to him, this is like it was so far gone, I already thought I was going to die, I guess.

Because I actually said to him, I said, really? You're going to kill me because you don't think I'm funny? That doesn't seem like an overreaction to you? Like I was snarky at the guy. So anyway, I bail too. I like about the 15-minute mark. I like, okay, thanks, good night. And Finn and I huddle away,

hiding behind this big pillar and we're there shivering because we're supposed to get paid. And so the owner of the place comes over to us and he's like the type of guy, the only type of guy who could be the owner of a place because he was literally was six foot seven as like twice my width and i'm a pretty stocky dude you're talking about a juggernaut style yeah i'm like he's like a bigger juggernaut

he's got a ponytail and all tatted up you know cool and Cool. And he's super angry. And he just says, you two in my office now. He has an office? Yeah, he's kind of. We're going to get fired. I wonder if he'll have a coffee. Can I get a coffee? Maybe his secretary will bring us a coffee. So we shuffle

off behind this giant monster and we go into his office. And we're standing there like a couple terrified kids in the principal's office. If you thought the principal might actually kill you. Principal machete. This guy's like, he's like pacing back and forth. His face is beet red.

He's so angry, right? He can barely compose. He's trying to compose himself before he talks to us. He's popping testosterone. So finally, finally he says to us, he goes, you know, if I don't do a full day's work, I don't expect a full day's pay. I realized this is about the money. Like, I just want to leave alive.

You know, I couldn't care less. So I said to him, no, no, I get that. It was supposed to be a certain amount of time. We didn't come anywhere near. So you just pay us whatever you think is fair i said we just bailed on the show because if we didn't get off stage you were going to have the cops here trying to solve a couple of murders right they show you the murders up front and then colombo so then he like he just turned on a dime then he was like oh these guys aren't trying to rip me off he was like he was like so you don't and he actually said so you did half the time i give

you half the money you're okay with that we didn't even do half the time we were like absolutely so he pays us now he's not angry at all he just thought we were trying to stiff him somehow right but now he's like okay well then great so he pays us more than we actually had coming to us pro rating the show and then i said to him hey listen uh is there a back door out of here like does it hit there's a door down the alley does that go at the back and he laughed and he goes yeah that's probably a good idea and so we we shuttled out the back door scrambled to the car that i had borrowed from a friend to go do the gig and we squealed out of there and headed back to toronto with a bowie knife just like in the back of the car as we drove away like i looked back at the

place and you could see there was like guys hanging around the front door and the only thing i could think of they were because it wasn't like the days when you had to go outside to smoke these guys you know so they were it seemed to us they were waiting for us at the front door wow that's like the uh in the movie roadhouse he gets a clunker car that he drives to work because he knows that everybody's gonna beat up his car yeah yeah yeah slash the tires you get spare tires in the trunk. Yeah, exactly. In roadhouse. What color is his sweater? I just remember thinking it would be bigger. Well,

Brent, I got to tell you, I, we have not heard that story. No, it was excellent. And I loved it. And it's basically,

have you ever seen the movie green room? No, it's, it's almost the plot of green room where it's a band instead of a comedian, but they go to a crazy club that's in the forest, and it turns out they're all white supremacists, and it gets crazy. Patrick Stewart plays the head guy in it. Yeah, this was the closest that I ever,

and there were a lot of shady, shifty places where i felt like this could go sideways but that was the place where i thought there's like it's it's not that there's a chance that we're going to be killed the probability is that we're going to be killed right right it was like literally thinking like probably 80 percent yeah i've done uh nate silver has done some polling on this and he thinks in 80 of the simulations he ran we get murdered yeah uh uh what's going on with you dave well uh i had i so in a typical week, something happens to me. Sure. Not this week.

But I did have a fairly amusing dream. Here we go. This is good. I'm going to check it. Now, Graham, what do you know about my dreams that I've shared with you? Your most boring dream was that your travel agent was retiring i know that you want me to get out of them and get into your car yes that's true that's right in the back you're always on me about that well documented yeah i've

had some very boring dreams that i've shared on the podcast about my travel agent retiring me and a bunch of guys trying to fix a garage door I think there's another boring one that I don't quite remember probably too boring but I had one this past week a bunch of guys fixing a garage door

well we fixed it didn't we yeah you went to analysis and be like what does this mean it's like you gotta i don't know watch movies or something yeah stop staring at a computer screen all day and have an interesting life um so this dream okay so it's's me. I'm in the dream. I am hosting an acoustic guitar event. Yes, here we go. In what appears to be like a high school music room.

And a guy is about to play acoustic guitar, and I'm hosting it, and I'm introducing him. Who books this? You've got gotta know a guy and he and the room is very busy people are anticipating this acoustic guitar player and there's a

giant shelf above everyone's head full of guitar cases both hard and soft okay and uh so i'm i'm up on stage and i'm about to introduce this guy and do you remember season one of friends when rachel was dating the italian guy paolo yes i do remember this very well well Paolo comes down. The actual, like that guy? Yeah, that guy pushes me off stage.

And he starts talking in Italian. And it's a mess. And I can't make heads or tails of what's happening. But the show is not happening because he's got this thing he needs to say. And he talks for so long. And then he releases a tiny fart. And then he says, I have to go to the bathroom and then he goes to the bathroom for a while i thought you said this was a boring dream this is actually an amusing dream and then he uh so he's in the bathroom and so I'm about to introduce this acoustic guitar player, and a guitar case falls on someone's head in the audience.

It's a big commotion. We have to stop the show. The guy gets stretchered out. It's like a dream based on a Groucho Marx, like a Marx Brothers movie. It's like a dream based on a Groucho Marx, like a Marx Brothers movie. And then when he's stretched out, guess who's out of the bathroom? Oh, Paolo. Paolo's back.

He's got a big another speech he has to do and he's really upset now. And then it's curtailed and it just keeps going in a circle of him interrupting and then having to having like a diarrhea i love this it sounds like an andy kaufman bit where it's just like okay i'm back everybody oh gotta go again oh and then when right when i'm gone someone's getting crushed by another guitar case oh boy did uh was it one of those dreams when you woke up that you it felt so real no it didn't feel real i was like this is ridiculous but it would felt it was like at least it's fun yeah yeah do you ever have any moments of uh lucid dreaming i've never had that it sounds fantastic where you're aware you're dreaming you're able to manipulate so no like i've gotten to the point

where i'm like i know i'm dreaming but i can've gotten to the point where I'm like, I know I'm dreaming, but I can't do anything about it. Where I'm like, this can't be happening. I'm dreaming. But I never say pinch me. A friend of mine that I grew up with back in my hometown, when we were teenagers, I was talking to him about this idea

because I'd read about this lucid dreaming and how cool I thought it was. And he was like genuinely puzzled because he was like, you mean you can't do that? Yeah. So he was, apparently his whole life he was a lucid dreamer, this guy. And so he looked very forward to going to bed at night because he could have wild adventures he was a superhero he was having sex with you know models he was whatever he wanted to dream about he would just do it so wow and the kind of the way it came about was i was talking about the scary dream that i had he was like he was like why would you dream that that sounds terrible i was like what do you mean why would i dream it just

happens and he's like no like you just so he he was unaware that everybody didn't lucid dream dream like just make your dream whatever you want i've had it where i've woken up from a dream and then i go back to sleep and i very pointedly say to my brain like let's get back into that and it works scenario And it works. And it works. Oh, wow. You remember that old Norm Macdonald joke about that?

Like when you, sometimes you're having like this fantastic dream, you know, like you're in a swimming pool with Christie Brinkley, you know, and then something wakes you up and you're like, oh, I got to get back into that dream.

So you try and dream of that, but it's always like some weird hybrid, you know, like some kind of disjointed like you're shooting pool with david brinkley one of norm's old bits oh man i uh i do get that where um where i'm like if i have to wake up and go to the bathroom i definitely like i'm keeping i'm sitting down i'm keeping my eyes closed the whole time so i'm not like i don't want to wake up and just be like riding this like p energy the rest of the morning make paulo mad yeah that's the energy drink I drink is pee energy.

So, yeah, I had an amusing dream. Pretty good. One of the best dreams I've ever talked about on this show. Yeah, it's going to be hard to beat, the Paolo guitar. I remember there was some stand-up. I can't remember what stand-up, but there was a stand-up that used to do a thing about, they said, I hate when people tell you their dreams because it's basically saying, here, listen to this uh i'm going to tell you a bunch of stuff that

never actually happened yeah no dreams are all like listening to someone else's dream is very boring i agree but you know what nothing happened this week do you do you think there's any validity to the idea that your dreams can be psychoanalyzed, that they mean something or tell something about you? I have a hard time buying that because it seems to me like it's all kind of random synapses. Yeah, I don't know if it tells anything important about you. I was watching videos of acoustic guitar players a lot that week well yeah that yeah so i don't like i i get that your brain just recalls

and pulls out data that's in there but like right you know if it means that you're like you know whatever you've got some lost want that you don't have or some angst from a you know whatever i don't buy i don't buy that dreams mean something psychologically yeah do you ever have the same dream i've never had the same dream twice uh yes i've had yes i've had the same dream like recurring dreams that maybe that Maybe that is important? Or that means something? Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah, maybe. Yeah, but I've had them. I've had reoccurring dreams. And I've even noted it in my head during the dream. Like, here we go again. Here's this scenario again. Well, I've had like, they're very different. But I have like a thematic kind of thing where i i often dream about sasquatch because but to me that's just because that was a show from the 60s yeah all

day i dream about sasquatch it was a spin-off of i dream a genie yeah this time he finds a sasquatch instead of a genie in a bottle yeah and he marries it the spaceship lands in the woods instead of on an island but or remember like bigfoot and little boy remember i sent you that yes jake and the bigfoot but anyway i but i just chalked that up to me being uh super into sasquatch like i'm fascinated by the notion of there being a sasquatch i love the idea of there being a Sasquatch. And I've always read. Does your Sasquatch mania ever fade? Does it ebb and flow?

Are you ever like, well, maybe this is enough Sasquatch for 2020. Maybe I'll pick up in 2021. Not really. Like if I ever see an article online about, you know, like there was a sighting or somebody has some notion of what the hell the situation might be with Sasquatch. I will read anything that is Sasquatch related that comes down the pipe.

Nice. And my Sasquatch dreams are like, sometimes they're scary. Sometimes they're goofy. Sometimes they're completely innocuous. Like me and a bunch of Sasquatches fishing the garage door, that kind of thing. But they're, they're not always scary is my point.

They have tools these sass man they're very advanced primates i mean i honestly i think the garage door thing was solved by unplugging it and plugging it back in just to add another layer of drama to this i have to i'm i'm like so my garage door i'm here in my garage right now my game room studio and i my garage door stopped working and i i'm so close to call i'm right on the cusp of calling the guy i've tried everything i can think of but i'm i'm at this thing where it's like this seems to be a thing that i should be able to fix because i don't think it stopped working mechanically that you know the remote the battery died i put in a new remote and then i followed

the manual about how you're supposed to reprogram it and it's not working i i feel like this is a real kind of admission of inability to like this seems like the type of thing i should be able to do i i get that i'm not a super mr fix it you're kind of a cut you hang uh did you hang a tennis ball from a string because that i feel like that was a big garage maneuver no this is this garage i never bring a vehicle into well then why do you need the garage door to open Because this is where I take the lawnmower out. That's the main thing, the lawnmower in and out. And so if I don't do, because I could have the little remote with me, I'd take the lawnmower out, and then I would hit the button, and the door would close safely and securely behind me,

and I would go mow the lawn. Now, with that not happening, what I have to do is I have to put the lawnmower in the alley outside the garage door then go back inside hit the internal button and then run like hell to get around to the garage out to the alley before somebody swipes my damn um do you do you uh do you have a leaf blower i i have a very, it's almost like a hair dryer. I have a very weak leaf blower. Does it make them curl a bit?

Yeah. Really? It's got about a three leaf capacity. If you got four or five leaves on your lawn, you're hooped. Oh, man. Graham, what's going on with you? Well, unlike yourself, I actually had something that very much could relate to a dream. I had too much stuff going on.

I had. But the king of it all is that I broke a tooth. Broke a tooth in real life? I don't know. In real life, yeah. But I feel like that's a dream a lot of people have. Yeah. And when it happened, I was like, huh, it does feel like I'm dreaming. This doesn't seem right that my tooth just split in half. people have yeah and when it happened i was like huh it does feel like i'm dreaming this

doesn't seem right that my tooth just split in half uh which is exactly what happened it broken two uh which one like a front tooth or a back tooth no a molar like third from the back kind of baby tooth or an adult oh yeah that's the one that was the last baby tooth i needed to it was always super easy to floss because i had the adult teeth then a baby tooth and another adult tooth floss with an extension cord but uh like the second that it happened instead of being horrified or whatever whatever would be the normal response it just instantly i was like how much is this going to cost jesus christ an extra layer of horror do you have do you have dental insurance i do i do yeah because you just got glasses you were bragging about your eye

insurance yeah that's right oh yeah i'm falling apart i forgot that's the headline of this story what the one thing at a time is failing me who's giving you all this insurance well i have a tooth insurance that uh that goes way back stand were you were you eating something no i was chewing i was chewing gum which i do habitually 23 hours a day 23 hours a day i chew gum and it's meant to be chewed it shouldn't be breaking your teeth no No, exactly. Scientifically designed to chew. 80% of dentists that I've heard of recommend it.

Yeah, and that was a big thing in the 80s, was that gum wouldn't stick to your tooth work, or whatever they said it. Won't stick to dental work, which I was like, huh, it occurred to me that that might be a problem old people would chew gum so yeah it happened like and it's not like a little chip like it's half of the tooth uh fell out which half uh the inner is it jagged like can you feel it with your tongue like is it yeah my tongue that's all my tongue wants to do all the time. Something new.

Are there raw nerves around it? No, it doesn't. The one thing that's good is it doesn't hurt. It just, because what happened is. I say leave it. Yeah, I thought about it. I thought about it. And I also, I kept the other half of the tooth in a, like in a Ziploc bag,

just in case I can go in and they could just Bondo it up, you know, just quickly seal it together. Gorilla glue. Gorilla glue will do that. You can do that yourself. Um, but,

uh, yeah, they, they said they wouldn't do that. They didn't say they couldn't do it. They said they wouldn't do it. But you gotta, you gotta spike that back to them, right gotta do a little mind game you gotta be like oh i thought you guys maybe i didn't i didn't realize you weren't able to tackle big things like yeah yeah and they're like no no we can do it it sounds like you can't get in here right now

it's all sales it's all sales yeah yeah my ex-dentist could do it yeah so uh it's it's i don't know like why but it's very embarrassing to go into a dentist with a tooth that fell out because it feels like something that happened back in deadwood times but not these are cartoon yeah i got my tooth shot off but yeah i so i had to i called the dentist and they said well we might have something that opens up on the weekend i was like oh okay i should have been like let's leave it for the weekend and let's do this on monday but uh they got me in on the weekend and uh the guy they took x-rays and i didn't realize until i looked at the x-rays how much metal is in my mouth a lot it's it's shocking

how much metals you have a lot of fillings i do yeah you don't have braces that you don't know about braces and i wasn't chewing on a piece of tinfoil at the time um which i can't do because it would hurt uh but uh yeah i mean that's i think people who uh who don't have fillings all day long they love chewing on tin yes exactly because they can't that's why it's the end thing when did you discover that easter uh like that tinfoil hurts your feelings? Because that was it for me. I think it was probably like a sandwich or something I really liked and I was trying to lick it. And maybe like trying to scrape some off of my teeth. I think that's when I realized it.

I did it as like the first time I like chewed tinfoil. It was like somebody saying, hey, chew this tinfoil it was like somebody saying hey chew this tinfoil it feels really weird like it but and i'm like i don't know how weird can it feel it was totally straight up like hey chew on this it's gonna feel weird that's a promotion from the aluminum company. Chew on this. Yeah. Yeah. So went to the dentist. They were like, you had this filling that went right down the middle of the tooth.

And that kind of made the bond not very strong. So it just fell off. So now I have most of the tooth. But I still got it in a Ziploc bag. I don't know what to do with it. I don't think throwing it out is the right thing. Put it under your pillow. You get like half a buck. Yeah. Twelve and a half cents. I used to get a

quarter when I was a kid. That's how back in my day. My kids, you know how my kids get because of talking to their cousins my kids get five dollars. Five dollars. Wow. Yeah, I used to get a loonie. That my so see this tracks

this all tracks like a quarter when i was a kid loony when you were a kid i would rather give my kids i'd rather give my kids a toonie but they they've been asking around yeah smart you don't you don't want to get the price so high that they start smashing their teeth out as a fiduciary fiduciary, right? Like, ah, I could use a couple of bucks for the weekend. I'm going to knock a tooth out of my head. When I was a kid, I remember I had one tooth that had a filling in it, and it broke, but it was a baby tooth.

Right. And it broke, and I got a sesame street sesame seed caught in it sesame street sesame street brand sesame seeds and for like three days i just tasted sesame all day long while this sesame seed worked its way out and the tooth eventually fell apart wow yeah it's weird it's weird that uh because i had fillings in my baby teeth why why because why yeah why like i like you're telling me i have a cavity i'm that doesn't hurt me yeah are you sure you didn't dream this dave this seems like one of your it's well yes i'm stuck in my tooth for and the dream was a week long you know what i i just had a i've had a very interesting life i

don't have to lie about it my dreams uh yeah so uh that's me uh old uh one tooth one tooth clark yeah because of the one it's the reverse of why you think yeah sure it's one tooth is so what now uh you know uh detailed work crown something did it so they but they haven't done that no but it's coming up they did x-rays and they were like okay so here's what what's what's coming yeah they're like the knee bones connected to the thigh yeah and you don't uh ballpark it how much gum do you chew in a week ballpark yeah like probably i would say like four chew at the ballpark yeah if it's big league chew it's two bags a week okay and uh just uh like regular chewing gum i probably go through five packages of it a week i would say okay yeah which is a lot that's a lot of chewing

gum uh i i i understand that you still is this is this from like uh like a did you start that as a result of quitting smoking yeah yeah that that was the whole and for a long time i chewed uh nicotine gum and then i just switched to regular gum. And I don't, I think I can't make the switch to no gum. Maybe lollipops. I could go to lollipops. Start solving crimes, man. Your ability to sleazily solve crimes will be a skyrocket. Has there ever been a bubble gum

detective? Feels like that's a kid's book waiting to happen. The bubble gum detective. Gumshoe. Should we move on to some overheards? Yes, sir. Yes. at the bubblegum detective. Gumshoe. Should we move on to some overheards? Yes, sir. Yes.

Hey, friends. Jesse here, the founder of Maximum Fun, and I have some really great news to share with you. This year has brought a lot of changes for all of us, and one tradition that we were grateful to be able to hold on to is our annual pin sale to benefit charity. This year, through your generosity and love of pins, you helped raise $95,400 for GiveDirectPlan. If you're a member and you bought pins, they'll ship in January.

In the meantime, your support will provide direct cash relief to families impacted by COVID-19 across the United States. Even in this incredibly tough year, the Max Fund community remains extraordinarily kind. And whether or not you bought pins, you can continue to help by heading to givedirectly.org. And as always, thank you. overheard overheard's a segment where uh boy people really flap their gums sometimes and uh if you've got those ear flaps open you can hear flapping gums your flaps open you can hear some great fantastic stuff when you least suspect it it It's time for our classic segment, Flap and Flappers. Flap and Flappers. Flap, clap, clap. And we always like to have a couple here on the show that we've experienced firsthand.

We always like to start with the guest. Brent, do you have an overheard? I do. And it kind of falls in the category of kids say the damnedest things, you know. Kids say the darnedest things. Remember Uncle Buck said? Oh, yeah. It's like when he was quoting, it's like Art Linklater said,

kids say the goddamnedest things. But anyway, I was out walking Oliver, and I was walking by. It's a dog. For the listeners, it's a dog, not the damnedest kid. And I was walking by. It's a dog. For the listeners, it's a dog, not the damnedest kid. I have a slave master relationship, the sexual slave master relationship.

I was walking Oliver in his leash and mask. Nipple clamps. Hauling him around town by his nipple clamps. No, yes, Oliver is my dog. And I vary up where I walk. I don't do the same route every time so one of the routes that i take will take me by a school i won't say what school because then people will track down where i live that's right you're i'll tell them many of your listeners are killers as i understand it yeah yeah, yeah. It's an unfortunate part of our audience, but they are loyal. Yeah, it's the podcast love the true crime.

It draws a certain type of person, so there's a lot of killers that listen to podcasts, as I understand it. You understand it correctly. So I'm out walking Oliver, and I go by the school, and it's not school hours. It's a little bit after, you know, like maybe a couple of kids waiting for their parents to pick them up or something. Anyway,

it was two girls standing there and one of them was quite a bit bigger than the other one. And yet they seemed about the same age. You know what I mean? And anyway, the bigger of the two was kind of being, it seemed to me and I'm coming in. I didn't see the lead up to this, but it seemed a little bit bullyish. The bigger of the two was sort of doing things that the smaller gal wasn't liking. Like, stop that, that kind of thing. And then she was bending her arm at one point and was like oh stop doing that but she was kind of annoyed anyway the bigger gal picked the smaller gal up at one point kind of like in a bear hug picked her up off the ground and the smaller the girl was just put

me down and so she puts her down and the little gal says you know i want to be your friend but you sure don't make it easy i thought that was pretty cute yeah what a oh what a great relationship where your best friend is also your bully yeah yeah why are you doing this of mites of men of mice and men kind of thing that's right um yeah it's it's great when you get a glimpse of something and then you wonder what the whole what's the full backstory like does he do this every day or is this yeah well i was kind of intrigued because i had it reminded me like in junior high i had a bit of a situation where one of the kids was in the same grade as me and we were always buddies you know and everything but anyway he he got really big and i was never a tall kid i didn't he got big and he started bullying me for some reason

and i couldn't understand it and anyway one day i just decided this has to end hell or high water and so i busted him in the app i just blasted him in the app and then just proceeded to take a hell of a beating he just mopped the floor with me. But, uh, yeah, it kind of reminded me that cause it seemed like they were friends, but one was kind of bullying the other one.

Yeah. Maybe just, you have to get over that as a kid. Like I'm bigger than everybody else. So I got, we've got to get my bullying in now for everybody else. And you know what? I, I would rather do it to a friend than someone I barely know.

That's true i don't know bully a stranger it reminded me like when i was a kid uh i was telling abby like because our kids get picked up like we're there early to pick them up from whatever they're doing right i spent so much of my childhood waiting outside school or you know music lessons or cub scouts or soccer practice just waiting for 45 minutes for my parents to show up well that's the thing of a growing up in a small town like i did you weren't expecting like you could walk everywhere so right the notion of your parents coming and picking you up was a total foreign thing because it's not you know your school is probably or your band practice or whatever the hell is probably a considerable distance from your home living in a big city.

Everything was, you know, a seven minute walk. Yeah. Where I grew up. Yeah. And I wasn't a fast walker. That was the thing. Don't be hard on yourself. I'm sure you're a very fast walker.

Stop bullying me. Well, yeah, when I was a kid, all the schools I went to were very close together and they were all walking distance. And we were, oh, man. It was a school district. Yeah, that's right. And my bullies, boy, they really had a time because every day I'd be walking home, they knew it. They knew when I'd be walking home. They didn't even go to your school,

but they knew it was close enough to, oh, you know what, if I curtail my bullying here, I can make it to Graham's. Bully him for a few minutes. I could catch the 345 Clark and hustle now. Work on some new material see how it

goes over uh dave do you have an overheard yeah mine's very quick um i was uh in kingsgate mall yeah uh vancouver's favorite dirt mall and they follow me on twitter oh yeah nice yeah i'm quite honored they follow me congrats yeah we're not jealous it's fine yeah whatever i mean one day we'll get there um we uh so i was walking through the mall uh and i was walking by there's a flower shop and i just heard a woman talking to the, uh, a shopper talking to the person who worked there. And she said, uh, so, okay.

Uh, what's one that's very hard to kill? Plastic one. Yeah. Yeah. Looks good. Yeah. Um,

you know, some sort of weed that just doesn't want to die. Yeah, sure, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. John Claude Van Damme, he's hard to kill. I want a challenge. A lot of these are killing too easy. It's not even a sport anymore for me, killing these flowers.

I want something that's going to fight back. What's that one with teeth? The Venus one over there we got uh it's abby's birthday in two days yeah and her parents just sent her a speaking of plants a baby yoda chia pet nice but she uh yoda doesn't he doesn't have hair does he um i guess he had wisps. He had wisps on his head. I think this is like a,

not baby. It grows all around him. Okay. Cool. I don't know. Yeah. It's a real departure from the Chia theme. It's always like growing on the thing.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I, I've never owned one before. This is exciting. Uh, they like, I think the whole thing

is that they happen and then they die and like there's no way to keep it going just like all of us man yeah all we are is chia pets in the wind uh what's your overheard there bud um i was waiting in line at a coffee shop and there was a guy ahead of me with his adorable little kid. And the kid was asking the dad, every single car that drove past, he'd say, what's that one?

What's that one? And the dad was answering a hundred percent of the time correctly, what car it was and what make and model it was. And, and the kid, but the kid wasn't satisfied like it was soon as he knew the one that he wanted to know the next one wanted to know the next one and uh at one point the dad turned the tables on the kid and said well what's what's that one over there

and the kid nailed it he said a toyota camry yeah it's a real bond they have these yeah this is their their time together yeah they uh i just thought it was adorable that a little kid would be able to identify camry on site sure yeah maybe maybe a honda accord sure yeah i mean we learned that at school yeah after the meech lake accord um we were driving home yesterday and uh poppy was just pointing out every gray car for about 30 seconds and i was like stop we are going to see 500 gray cars before we get home yeah and i've i feel like that's what I would have done if a kid was asking me what kind of car is that. I'd say like a black car, white car, red car maybe. I was in one of the times when we were in Saskatchewan, one of the seasons when we were in Saskatchewan.

Somebody said to me when we were there, they said, I can't believe how many white vehicles are in Saskatchewan. And I'd never noticed it before. But once they said that, oh my God, it was like the dumping ground for white vehicle. The number of like white trucks and white cars in Saskatchewan. It's like all I could see after a while. Yeah. It's weird.

Yeah. When somebody points something out and then you can never reverse seeing it. And you'd think in the winter time, that'd be the worst. Cause it's like just a flat snowy, all winter in Saskatchewan is like the final scene of Fargo. And now your car is white on top of it? Ay-yi-yi.

Where the hell did we park? Yeah, you want a blood red car. Yeah. Now, we have overheard sent in to us from people all over the map. If you want to send one to us, you can send it in to sby at maximumfun.org. This first one, this is a real kids say the darndest one. This is from Alex A.

Parts unknown. This overheard from my wife and child. It sounds like she's burning me, but she was truly responding earnestly. My wife said, that's a lovely drawing. Can daddy see it? Four year old. Yes, he has eyes.

Pretty good. drawing can daddy see it four-year-old yes he has eyes pretty good kids got issues getting sassed by a four-year-old like and the four-year-old can really go for it they don't have any sense of holding back uh their criticism of you they don't know about your how sensitive you are about certain things that That's right. Did I ever tell you? I think I may have told you guys this story one time. I was, these teenage kids were like making trouble at a, I think it was McDonald's or some fast food restaurant. I was there with my girlfriend at the time. I was probably, I was maybe like 19 or something.

They were like 13 or 14. And anyway, they were being loud and kind of pissing me off. And I kept shooting them the stink eye and then I overheard one kid said to the other kid we better be quiet that fat guy's getting mad and it totally wasn't a burn because he was like legitimately trying to say

quiet to his friend but I heard he probably lives on a boat they said we better be quiet that fat guy's getting mad. bro what's your go-to order at mcdonald's have you been in a while no i haven't been to a mcdonald's in a hell of a long time but i would always my here was my standard go-to i've said this other people it does sound very gluttonous bear in mind uh i'm i used to be much more of a food abuser than i am now um but i would get a big mac a quarter pounder with cheese a cheeseburger a large fries and a medium coke holy cow wow that's a buffet that's that's three burgers and a two big burgers one

small burger yeah good i mean i get if i if we uh treat the kids to a Happy Meal, I get whatever I get plus two half cheeseburgers. That's pretty good. That's a pretty good deal. Yeah. You got to figure that into the equation. Yeah, really, now I just don't get it. Do they, in the Happy Meal, is it, they give out fruit now? That's possible. Oh, but yeah but yeah you get is it a fruit or

a toy they can't legally call it happy anymore is it a fruit or a toy no it's a book or a toy a book or a toy oh fruit or fries okay so fries on toy is the go-to order and they must just have apple slices that just go bad every day they've only ever had one bag of apple slices and they've never sold it big siren goes off somebody ordered the apple what the hell get the manager comes out from the back the hell's going on i want to see this kid what does this kid look like um this next one uh also as a kid uh say the darndest things i went for a walk and passed a shop that still had their halloween decorations up a little kid was pulling on their mother's hand trying to go and touch the window the mother kept saying no no we have to go don't touch that the kid said but i want to pet the skeleton can't blame the kid yeah skeletons are so smooth you just don't feel you know

playing the marimbas or whatever it must be hard for uh yeah like people radiologists to to not want to play uh the xylophone of the ribs. This last one comes from Greg. Hey guys, I was recently eating outside at a restaurant and overheard the following. Girl one. So I've got this new app idea. It's Airbnb

but for horse people. And girl two said, that's a really good idea. Very supportive friendship it's the opposite of the friendships that i the two little girls that i talked about this is much more supportive and healthy almost too much so yeah maybe borderline too supportive airbnb but for you're borrowing horses it's either your horse is renting a place and it's different stables that are you can stay at go right or there's just yeah you're renting a horse i'm gonna be in town for a few days i need to rent a horse don't ask me why yeah it's part of the horse sharing economy oh man now in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1, like these people have. Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Ollie from St. Paul. I hope this isn't against the rules, but I'm calling in with a secondhand overseeing. This was told to me by my now-deceased grandmother, rest her soul.

Years ago, my grandmother was at the cafeteria of the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota, when she spotted none other than local celebrity Garrison Keillor, and she said she watched him put an entire boiled egg in his mouth. Just eat it in one bite. Just for context, this was long before we knew he was a pervert, but I don't know. It seemed like pervert behavior to me.

Thanks, guys. Yeah, red flag for sure. You see that old boiled egg going in there hang on all in one bite yeah shell and all like a python like a rattler oh boy um yeah that's i mean so far in my life that's the best celebrity sighting i've ever heard yeah like if somebody said to you i have a story about garrison keeler and a boiled egg you're just like yep pull up your skirt yes clear my schedule how does this go was he at the mayo clinic hoping they had mayo yeah he thought there was mayo there that's why he was there this uh egg is a little dry I'd like to buy some of your finest mayo, please.

All right. Here's your next phone call. Hey, Dan and Graham and definite guest. This is Karen, formerly of Oakland, California, now of London, England. And I was just riding my bike through a park and went past a group of people and overheard a foreign language, foreign language, Baby Yoda. Anyway, it made me laugh. Thanks, guys. Love the show. Bye.

Baby Yoda is the same in any language. Yeah, Baby Yoda is it. Baby Yoda, is it Baby Yoda that Abby got? Or Adult Yoda? Okay. Do either of you watch that show no

no I hear it's fantastic though and what I'm wondering is do you have to be like a Star Wars aficionado

to dig it because I'm not I don't know I haven't watched any of it either Abby watches all of it and apparently

maybe Yoda ate some eggs and everyone's up in arms about that were they Yoda eggs no they, and everyone's up in arms about that. Were they Yoda eggs? No, they were like, there's some, you know, endangered alien egg that Baby Yoda just went ham on. Why are people up in arms about it?

Because Baby Yoda committed basically a genocide by eating the last eggs of some species. He looks cute, but... Babies make make mistakes they're babies yeah right he's not a grown yoda yeah um it's like getting mad at a baby for you know pooping its pants yeah come on what the hell why do you think why did you do that it's only now that i'm wondering if yoda comes from an egg or if it's like a mammal birth i'd never thought about it before this and i does seem sort of reptilian doesn't it yeah although uh boy i can just imagine a mother yoda with breasts but that's something that's tonight's dream i think think. If I could lucid dream, that would be it. My eyes up here are.

Here's your final overheard. Hi, Dave, Graham, and hilarious guest. It is Matt from Nyack, New York. I have an overheard for you. In the pre-COVID times, I was walking in New York City and saw a woman with a small dog standing on the sidewalk. Another woman passed her, almost kicked her dog. And the woman with the dog watched her pass by in disgust and then said kind of to herself, that's how a bitch gets slapped on a Sunday.

Thanks, guys. Love the show. Oh, boy. That sounds like a 1950s comedy the bitch that was slapped on a sun it's like a dolomite special oh man oh that was great those were all those were all top shelf that was a real real good run we had there yeah we got we got some great listeners, and they overhear some great things. Man, oh, man. And they're not afraid to share, so, you know, we're grateful. Speaking of being grateful. We don't give our listeners enough credit.

Hey, great work, listeners. Yeah, really good work. Solid all the way through. I don't know how long it's going to be until I get the image of Garrison Keillor sucking down a hard-boiled egg out of my head. That's going to stay with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It'll haunt you. It'll haunt your dreams.

Well, Brent, thank you so much for being our guest. Always a pleasure. You were telling me that Corner Gas is now soon going to be available, Corner Gas animated in the season three. Season three. So one and two is already available on imdb tv or via your amazon prime um and that's outside of uh the u.s too like you can find it on on uh well maybe i'm talking out of my hat talking through my head but anyway so one and

two is available in the states on Amazon Prime. I am DBTV. And season three, I expect we're going to be able to announce when season three is going to air very soon. So people can follow me on Twitter or Instagram at Brent Button. I'll be shouting it loud and lots as soon as I have the information. Or as soon as I'm allowed to say the information. Oh, you have it, but. I'm sitting on it i have an actual date in my head i know oh maybe we can pull it out of you with our our feminine wild i've been you're laced with estrogen yeah yeah that's true

um dave anything to promote oh no everybody, everybody have a great rest of November. Don't go home. Americans don't travel home for Thanksgiving. That's right. And it's going to be Turkey at home. Turkey for one. Yeah. Uh, make a whole Turkey for yourself.

How about that? Treat yourself to an entire Turkey. Do the act out the, uh, Mr. Bean Turkey on the head thing. Yes. You and your roommates can have a lot of fun this Thanksgiving. Film it and put it online. TikTok that. Exactly.

Entertain the Chinese government with your turkey shenanigans. Well, thank you again, Brent, for being on the show. Always a pleasure. Yeah, thank you. And our audience out there thank you very much for listening stay safe and take care of one another and come on back next week for

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