Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 67 - Jimmy Barnes

Episode Date: June 13, 2009

Musician, filmmaker, and former comedian Jimmy Barnes joins us to talk about such topics as shirtlessness, base jumping, and fake David Lee Roth.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Welcome to episode number 67 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark, and joining me as always is a man who ain't afraid to hold his girlfriend's purse when she tries on clothes at the store, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, well, I mean, she can't bring her purse in because she'll steal.

Yeah, exactly. The temptation is too great. She's a modern- Winona Ryder. And joining us here today on episode number 67, a very funny man, was a stand-up comic, now lead singer of a band called

Logos, and also producer, writer of short films, one of which is it's been up on funny or die for a while called it's my life correct and it's tt something productions tt vids tt vids which is after the the director's name the director's name is todd taylor todd taylor all right welcome to the show thanks for coming out yeah right you know thank you for having me i'm uh i'm totally i'm very

excited oh it's a pleasure. Yeah. Well, let's, do you want to start with Get to Know Us? Get to Know Us. TT Vids, did you ever, did anyone ever do that thing in elementary school where they would make up initials and ask you a question about it? And they would say, are you T ttt and you would say no and they would say oh you're not totally toilet trained and then you would change your answer no yes and they would change their response oh yeah and you're totally transvestite you are tina turner's tits yeah kids are great they are and there's no right answer they're gonna burn you

oh yeah yeah you're gonna get burned do you ever get that feeling when a kid burns you with a thing that you can't you can't unfold well you can't unfold the logic of what the thing was like the kid's like you're a raspberry and you're like well I know that's not bad fundamentally

but that kid's kind of saying it like it is, and you feel unpopular because you can't unravel. Because you're like, I'm not a raspberry. I wasn't around when you made the rules. And you're alone in your room later like, I should know about these fruit games that are going on. You're online looking up raspberries? Is there another meaning?

And you have the wit of the staircase. You are a blueberry um so uh logos right it's the band what kind of what kind of outfit are you uh i would say that we're uh we're playing some kind of uh rock rock music not like a big band, Cherry Poppin' Daddy's kind of sound? I'm not, yeah. No, no zoot suits. No squirrel nut zippers? No, I just kind of rock. I heard it's coming. Garage-y. Lou Bega?

Are you Lou Bega? I'm just going by wardrobe. No, no mambos. Is that even a kind of a dance? A mambo? Yeah. Is it music or a dance? A mambo? Mambo is music. Yeah. Is it music or a dance?

I think it's a deadly snake. Yeah. Yeah. A black mambo. We're just playing kind of garage rock, you know? We're not playing in a garage. Right. But it's... Yeah.

Storage locker rock. Yeah. What do you guys practice? Do you have a space? We do, yeah. And on East practice do you have a space we do yeah and on East Vancouver we have a space a jam space

you know what would be great is to advertise a jam space on like Craigslist and then when they show up it's just like a place where you do preserves you know those I just came up with

this brilliant idea I'm ready for like garage bands storage storage spaces. You know those companies that have those cubes that they'll just deliver and you fill it with your stuff and then they pick it up later? Yeah, the pods or whatever it's called. That should just be a mobile jam space. Yeah, I like it.

You know, I actually did. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who's in a band. You know, I actually did, I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who's in a band, they play shows locally, and he was fully aware of bands playing out of storage lockers. That does exist, there are people doing that. Dave, you used to be in a band, I think you probably know, you've probably heard of this kind of thing. Yes, I have heard of this kind of thing, although my band literally played out of a garage. Really? Guns N' Roses played out of and lived in their storage space for, like, when they were kind of unfamous, when they were starting out. They built bunk beds in the place.

Interesting. Yeah, that's where they lived and played and slept and whored and contracted. Wow. You know, I'm always kind of jealous of those bands that are, they're, like, privileged. and horde and contracted. Wow. I'm always kind of jealous of those bands that are privileged. You know these privileged, kind of college-educated bands and it's like their rehearsal space when they just start out is

a million-dollar flat warehouse in New York that their dad is paying for. Do you have a specific... There's these bands. Let's all say it together. The Jonas Brothers crew.

I didn't even say anything there. What did you say? Tinted Windows? Is that a band? It's a super group. It's got... What's the name? James... Eha. Eha from Smashing Pumpkins. Oh, okay. Adam Schlesinger from the fountains of wayne and he's he also wrote the song that thing you do and from the film yeah yeah no from the broadway musical and uh uh bunny carlos the drummer from cheap trick who seems

he's 20 years older, at least, than all the other people in the band. He's the Mick Mars of that group. Was Mick Mars much older than the other members of the crew? He was, the great thing in the story about Motley Crue is that he was already, he had already done all the things that these young guys, he was in his mid-30s when he joined the band.

They were all like 19. So if you can imagine hanging out with whatever time, like 16-year-olds, and what that would be like, that's what it was like for him. He was the father figure in the band. Yeah, but I think he had recovered from a lot of things, and then this really gave him a natural path to slip back into it again wow yeah there would be a lot of responsibility went with that you know what would break power so uh playing in a band uh how much fun is it or is it a constant aggravation no you know what? I mean, it's kind of the early stages of it.

And that's kind of the goal is to keep it fun. If we're not having a laugh, as they say in Britain, I don't really want to do anything that isn't fun anymore. You know, that's probably why I don't have a job right now. You, like Dave, are currently your job freak. Why bring me into this? This is a job. He's working right now.

Yeah, that's true. But yeah, I don't have a day job per se. That's what I meant, a day job. Sure. I had an office job. But I don't have the office job anymore. I don't know. I have to say I enjoy it.

At your old work, are they hiring? So what is a typical day when you're in a band and you don't have the office day job and you're making movies? Right. Making shorts. Making shorts. Oh, yeah. He also designs a brand of luxury shorts he's a tailor

for swimmers um so what do you do uh take us through an average uh oh you want like the 8 a.m or no no no sleep just just yeah what uh what's going on is there a lot of hanging out there there is which i which i really enjoy i mean i can kill like i can kill so much time it's incredible and the internet helps i mean there's uh but i'm really good at killing time like i could i could probably if if the offer was put on the table to like just here's a full bank account you never actually have to do anything again i could probably i'd be i wouldn't be bored i would never be bored the thing about a full bank account is there's no limit on the top of a bank account i see it can uh it can never be full sorry that that's true no that's true like there's no maximum i just made a fool of myself. No, no, no, no, no. I just totally stuck my stick in your spokes there.

Yeah, why'd you? Go ahead. So like Brewster's Millions, if they gave you this much money, just go nuts. Well, I mean, the point is that I can kill time, but I'm using the time to work on the stuff, to make these films. I'm using the time to work on this stuff, you know, to make these films. And as I was telling you, I think before this afternoon, I was telling you we're just, we've wrapped up another one just now with Paul Breaux. Local. Yes, former guest.

Two weeks ago guest, yeah. Right. Local producer, I believe. Writer, comedian. Yep. Producer, writer from Connected Life. Microsoft. Connected Life. Oh. Connected Life. Oh, yeah.

Makers of the new Bing search engine. Anybody tried it out? Bing? Oh, no, I haven't. Named after the famous Chandler. And there's just a picture of his face on the search engine. Yeah, and you click on it and he goes, could you be any more

specific? Could you use quotes around your face? But no, I mean, the time gets filled up. I'm trying to work on stuff. And I feel like a real artist. I feel like I can be like, yes,

I'm an artist now, that I'm not slaving, but I'm not anymore an artist. No, I say it to myself. But you use that artist voice. Hey, I'm an artist. I'm an artist as a young man, is what you could say. You could say that.

No, well, I mean, you could. I'm giving it to you. I'm a Barnes as a young noble. As a young unemployed.ave yeah what's going on with you buddy well summer's hitting hard yeah i'll say uh here's tank tops yeah that's pre-paint that's the dilemma is i didn't even notice summer it started and i started getting sunburn did you notice that the living was easy because that's usually the first hint uh indeed and uh but i every year i get a t-shirt tan

a farmer tan farmer tan yeah okay do you ever get the farmer tan you know i'm pretty much shirtless most of the time without the job i appreciate you uh doing it up wearing a shirt yeah wouldn't a farmer tan be like a overalls with no shirt tan uh yes technically but i think that they say the farmer tan because they're always out in the field they would wear a t-shirt you're modern day farmers would. Back in the day. T-shirts have been around for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. Since at least the 60s. I'd like to see a turtleneck tan. I've never seen that before.

I'd like to see somebody... So just the face? And then it's white from the neck down. Or a dickie tan. Sure, if you want to... Okay, I thought the alliteration was good in the turtle tan thing. Turtle tan. But a dickie is just the collar with no shirt. Oh, so just like a white and then everything else is tanned except that area where the dickie is.

I see. That might not be bad. Or like a priest would have. Just a priest collar tan. Because that's what they wear when they go to the beach, is just the collar and shorts. You've got to let people know. Except that sexy Mexican priest. Anyway.

Which one? Yeah. Can you narrow it down a bit? No, exactly. That's what the Bing application told me. Could you be more vague about your Mexican priests? But the dilemma is, I don't want this t-shirt tan yeah what are my options barnes it up that's the first shirt okay when is it under what circumstances is it okay to take your shirt off okay so in what city in this city in vancouver

because apparently the rules in vancouver are always shirtless is okay always uh that's what i've seen you isn't it are you serious about that i wouldn't it just be like a regardless of what city you're in there's just kind of like a a respect thing you don't go into you know you don't go to a doctor's appointment i think i wouldn't be shocked if i went to a doctor's appointment there was a shirtless dude there in Vancouver I said okay yeah if he has tats yeah if you want to see this guy he's gonna air out his tats and who doesn't have tats now at this point I don't even know I actually all right three for three uh okay it is odd well let's go get matching tats after the podcast

one thing I've done uh is I've bronzer I've rolled up the sleeves on my t-shirt. There's the tan. He just exposed it. Oh, there it is there. Yeah. I rolled up the sleeves on my t-shirt, and that's where I keep my cigarettes. Yeah. Your Popeye cigarettes?

Mm-hmm. Yep. But that looks ridiculous, because I have spindly little girl arms. I think you already have you you need to you know what you should do you should just spend like uh what do you say like 20 minutes half an hour in the backyard no shirt play with grandpa let it let it build let your let a tan slowly absorb have you established that grandpa's the dog because that would be great okay that would just be great if you haven with your grandpa in the backyard.

A half hour with shirtless with grandpa. Let him get a tan, too. What about my legs? Because shorts are out. Shorts? Well, here's the thing. Why do you care, then, if shorts are out? No one's going to see them.

But I don't like the idea of being shirtless with long pants on. Why not? Oh, because my pants don't fit. Think of being shirtless with long pants on. Why not? Oh, because my pants don't fit. Think about, what's his name? Jack LaLanne. He'd do it. He'd wear no shirt and pants, wouldn't he? Jack LaLanne.

Yeah. Charlton Heston. I can picture him doing that. Sure, yeah. Anyone in bondage. Ronald Reagan. A young Ronald Reagan. An old Ronald Reagan, probably. I can picture all of them doing that, actually, yeah. Anyone in bondage. Ronald Reagan? A young Ronald Reagan? An old Ronald Reagan, probably.

I can picture all of them doing that, actually. Yeah, together. Yeah, playing pool. Or poker. In a painting. Yeah. In a cafe in a dark street corner. I don't know. Okay, do you care? Because your legs are what?

Lily weight, like mine? No, but I do get hot. So you're going to go to shorts at some point. What about flip-flops? Is that an option ever? Graham doesn't... I don't think you like those. I don't believe it.

I remember... Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think Graham had a stand-up joke. Yeah. About... It wasn't even a joke. Just being disgusted with sandals. Yeah, he was just really angry. You're honestly disgusted with the...

No, but only dudes who wear sandals. Okay. Ladies, because ladies take a lot of care in their feet. They go, they do that thing where they sand their feet. A pedicure. Yeah, a pedicure. They got the... That's the company that came up with the idea originally.

Pedicure. And they also, they do, what are those stones that they get they always in the shower girls places right right stones for your feet lufa stone lufa stones flint stones no and then they uh paint up their toenails real pretty but it's the men's feet it's the these hairy hairy and the toenails, crazy Pringle chip situations. Are you grossed out by men's feet when you see them in flip-flops? Does it gross you out in general? I don't want to be around it.

I'm not happy about it. Some people have a real avoision to it. Yeah, avoision. No, you know what? I don't mind if we're all in a camping situation. I'm all right with that. But if I'm, say I'm going into a store, I don't want to be around your feet in a store or a restaurant.

Right. Cut it out. You know what I mean? Would you rather see a man shirtless or wearing sandals? Is it that bad? Where are we when this question takes place? We're in Vancouver. No, but in what specific backdrop? wearing sandals. Is it that bad? Where are we when this question takes place? We're in Vancouver.

No, but in what specific backdrop? Well, why don't, for the sake of argument... I'm filling out a bank loan application. That's actually pretty good. I don't think I could better that. You're at the bank. You're waiting in line. You don't use the internet. You're in line.

This is tough. And that's it. What would you prefer? I mean, you're disgusted. I'm disgusted either way. With men wearing sandals and shirtless men. Are you disgusted with shirtless men? I'm not impressed. I'm not happy about it.

Like, when am I supposed to be happy about it? Maybe when it's Henry Rollins, but I'm gonna have a good rock show. I'm enjoying myself. And he's painted up all red. Yeah, he takes off his shirt. I don't mind. He's not even wearing shoes.

What about that? I'm fine with that. He's Henry Rollins. If you're Henry Rollins, you can wear just shorts. If you're... I've never had a problem with feet. But I was just thinking, if you ever go see... Now, this is probably pretty specific. If you ever go see, now this is probably pretty specific.

If you ever go see like a modern dance performance. Yeah. This is very specific. And they're not wearing any footwear. Yeah. Not pointe shoes, not even ballet slippers. Yeah, I'm fine with that. But just the sound of the sweaty foot on the stage.

Slapping around. I'm fine with feet. That's my only avoision, as you said earlier. I'm fine with feet just doing it. I'm fine with them in general, but it's like, I don't go to the beach and demand people be wearing socks and shoes. That's ridiculous. Right.

Certainly. Certainly that would be. Yeah, right? Okay, so I'm glad that we cleared it out because i heard you do that you know joke years ago and frankly i didn't i was going to wear sandals here tonight but i appreciate that you didn't i was putting them on and then i had this flat you know there was like graham your face graham's face don't do it with the echo you know echoed a few times and i you know thrust the sandals back and if guys are

gonna walk around shirtless this is my only thing be a little bit in shape just be a little bit in shape not so in shape that i know that you're trying to show off to the whole world but just be a little have done some crunches in your life fair that's all fair so dave do you think that you would you consider yourself to be a little bit in shape but would you be comfortable shirtless that's a big no no no no i'm not uh what if you're wearing pasties i have a little i have a little boy's body i see think of bart simpson dave's bart simpson body that's a video series you can order it uh through our podcast yeah yeah it's uh seven minutes a day uh gray oh oh here's another thing i want to talk about yeah sure about

the summer is uh my neighbors i don't live in a very affluent neighborhood but my neighbors i think they own there's there's like three or four suites in the house next to mine right but i think there's a couple that owns the whole house and that's what they do that's their whole they own the house yeah yeah but they also own three cars and two motorcycles there's there's a a min minivan from the early 90s. Is it ever a rockin'? Nope. Okay. And that's good, because it was starting to sound affluent, to be honest.

They have five vehicles in my poor neighborhood. Yeah, that's it. It's strange. I feel like a lot of people can own five vehicles, as long as you're not picky about which five. They have a minivan, but they also have two cars that are summer cars, because they've come out of storage, and now they are out in front of their house. And they need to be plugged in, because I'm assuming the batteries are dying? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, and also it gets cold here in the summer. Bitter cold. When you store, you said they brought the cars out of storage. Well, they have a garage. Okay. And they have to have them plugged in, and the plug leads into the house, and they don't even ride the motorcycle.

But while one of the cars is gone. That's their escape vehicle in case shit goes crazy. They use the motorcycle to save the parking spot of the car so that they can plug it in when they return it. And I can't stand it. I understand your frustration. There's a guy on my street that has a muscle car that has not moved the entire time that i've lived there it's a beautiful condition does he work on it or no just sits there it's got a pylon on either side kind of like one of those the long tall pylons you know i'm talking about yeah uh with like a wire

connecting it to each bumper so nobody steals the pylons it It's been like that two years. Never seen it. That's enraging. I've never seen it on. That is enraging. It's a beautiful car. Jimmy, I could see you driving down the street in one of those. Shirtless. Shirtless.

Shoeless, if you will. Cranking the tunes. Are there laws about driving with no shoes? I don't think so. I don't think so. You would think. Fred Flintstone did it. Britney Spears broke some Pretty dynamic ground in that regard

I'm sure When it comes to summer cars There's a car just around the corner from my house Convertible It's like a 1960s car Like huge, big land boat thing But they leave the top down like all the time i'd be really worried about squirrels not not theft but uh squirrels

there's more squirrels in my neighborhood than thieves squirrel theft could be a possibility as well a bunch of them get together they They work the wheel and stuff. I've noticed a lot of the Jeeps with no roof. Yeah. That I guess have, in the winter, have the temporary plastic. Yeah, that does nothing. Yeah, not in Vancouver. That shit don't keep heating.

They open, like, Graham, like you brought up, the whole, I've always kind of wondered about that. Like, what if I had a convertible? What would you do? Something with no top, right? Whatever it might be. Yeah. And like, what do you do? Like, cause there's, there's people out there that could just go, ah, you know, asshole. And they just dump a slurpee in there.

Oh yeah. You know, I just, it's. Yeah. Cause I walk by this. It's a, it's like almost like a work of art really. Cause it's like this old beautifully maintained it's like two-tone paint job it's gorgeous how many times is that at least two okay um but it's beautiful but there's no roof ever up on it i think people just like they i think at that point people kind of just have this weird like trust in the public and it's like hey this

this is nice and they just sort of trust that uh the public at large is going to because they're driving a jack karawack car that you know everybody is still on the uh the british bbc uh car series top gear one of the hosts uh once talked about leaving his lamborghini with uh his his convertible Lamborghini with the roof off and then just walking around and coming back later and it was just swimming with loogies oh really yeah but that's the thing like this isn't a car that would inspire you to spit in it right but it is definitely a car that would inspire you to steal it like because it's beautiful.

So you're saying with no top, not so much loogies or theft. It's kind of like you could hop in and hotwire it or whatever. It's not a car that looks like... It's not like an old car, but with all modern conveniences. It's like a beautifully restored old car. That's my worry about taking my top off, is that I'll be stolen. Nice way to bring it back around uh graham yeah do we want to get to know you you sure do because i went and saw terminator salvation on friday and uh have you seen it you know i haven't and it i can offer something up in this because I just watched, about three days ago, Terminator Part 1. Oh, the first?

The first. I'd never seen it. And you know what? Before, I'll let you continue, obviously. No, no. What was your thoughts on Terminator 1? You know, I was going to say, there's a foreword to this. I was going to say as well, I was going around a few weeks ago claiming to friends and stuff that I had never seen an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie.

What? You know, this is the governor of California we're talking about. I believe he's still the governor. Yeah, he's the governor. to friends and stuff that I had never seen an Arnold Schwarzenegger movie. What? This is the governor of California we're talking about. I believe he's still the governor. Yeah, he's the governator. They officially changed it. And I was very proud of this. I kind of thought I hadn't ever seen an Arnold Schwarzenegger film. And then a friend of mine at a party kind of said,

What have you seen Kindergarten Come? Well, this is it. No, i haven't seen it and then this is the thing he got me on this and i had seen whatever the batman film was i think it was a jerry robin and so i had technically falling down but with all right but with all of the uh you know in intense insane hype surrounding the new film and uh new film and Christian Bale's antics on the set. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's right. That's the set he freaked out on.

Right. Yeah. And I just kind of thought, it's time to do this Terminator thing. So I watched the first one just a few days ago. And it's pretty good. It's a pretty good film for early 80s or mid 80s. It's okay. I've never seen it.

80s or mid 80s it's it's okay i've never seen it it's you know it's the problem is and this is the problem that like i think 98 of people that have ever been in this motion they've seen terminator 2 first yeah and then they go back and see terminator 1 masterpiece then they go special effects landmark yeah but if you see terminator 2 first and then go back and see Terminator 1, it's the worst movie you've ever seen. It's stop motion. There is stop motion. It's a Peter Gabriel video. If you see it in the wrong order, if you see 2, there's nothing that's going to exceed that. You go back to the first one, yeah, you're going to get a little tidbit about the storyline.

It's going to fill in some blanks for you. But you're going to be disappointed. You're going to the first one, yeah, you're going to get a little tidbit about the storyline. It's going to fill in some blanks for you. But you're going to be disappointed. You're going to be horrified. Well, I'm glad I did it in the right order, it sounds like. Yeah. You know, I've gotten, as you said... You saw the first? No job, I can watch the second one soon.

You haven't seen Terminator Salvation, though. No, I don't plan on it. But on that note, let's hear what Graham had to... T.S. for you. See, because I forgot about the Christian Bale freakout thing, because he freaked out on the set of that film, because somebody was ruining... I didn't hear anything about that. Did you not, really? No.

Of course I heard about it! He's in the entertainment business, for God's sake. That's true. He is in the business of show. He got a call the morning it happened. But he freaked out, because, like, somebody was ruining his concentration. If that was the performance he handed in, if that was the performance that he got from proper concentration,

then nobody should ever be on the set fucking ever because it was abhorrent. And he shouldn't concentrate again. There was nothing to it. He's a good actor, I think. I've been told. There was no evidence of it in this. But then again, he was only given...

There was nothing to act with. They easily could have just had a puppet that looked like Christian Bale. Stop motion. I'd see that. Like a Jack Skellington with facial hair. So the film itself, I don't know how,

I don't know if you rate films out of four stars or five. movies, films. Yeah. Actually, no, here's the thing.

I would probably call, you know, Terminator 2 a film, but Terminator 3, I might call a movie. Oh, I like the way you think yeah um this movie i don't want to spoil it but i'm gonna uh there's a scene forward one minute

there's a scene in it where they've got uh because the whole thing is it's in the future right it's in the future of terminator but in the termin movies, they send robots back to the past, right? And so one of the robots they send back to the past is the Arnold Schwarzenegger. So they kind of do like a nod to that. And towards the end of the movie, there's an Arnold Schwarzenegger robot that attacks Christian Bale. But it's CG animated. Like it's not actually Arnold. He doesn't have time for that.

Right. Well, and he doesn't have the body for it, quite frankly. But he, they, either I didn't see it properly, but somehow he's like eight feet tall all of a sudden. Like he's a monster. He looks like a grizzly bear now. He's like, he's tossing Christian Bale around. I bet you Christian Bale and Arnold Schwarzenegger, roughly the same height in real life. Not in this movie.

All of a sudden, he's gigantic. The version they sent back in time, Eddie Furlong's almost as tall as him. Eddie Furlong was the kid in the second one. He's not as tall as Christian Bale. They went so precise. Wow, we'll put Arnold Schwarzenegger. They went to all this trouble. Then they make him way too tall.

All of a sudden, it doesn't make any sense. I hadn't heard that um uh there's a fake carnal schwarzenegger in it because that's weird because you i would have heard that because all the um so it didn't have a dave would have heard yeah yeah that didn't happen no but all the summer blockbusters i've only seen uh of the big ones i've only seen i think star trek But what else has there been? I will tell you What is this? Of the summer

blockbusters so far. Because there's certain things that are public knowledge that there's the one weird thing about the movie. Star Trek, the weird thing is that Tyler Perry's in it. That is weird. He is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you seen it? Yeah. What was he in it? He is weird he is yeah yeah yeah have you seen it yeah what was he in it he's

one of the guys at the uh starfleet academy tyler perry's like the the the head of the council thing was he dressed like that woman yeah was he just like madea no that's why i recognize him and wolverine the only thing i know about it is that is that Wolverine screams at the sky about five times. At least. In Star Trek, which is really weird. Yeah, even more bizarre. But now, I feel like I would have heard that Arnold Schwarzenegger, fake Arnold Schwarzenegger, is in Terminator. Here's the other thing about watching Terminator.

You know that Terminator music that like uh people hitting anvils with hammers that one i've been trying to come up with lyrics for the terminator for just that part of the song i haven't got any yet well i've tried out a bunch of different versions after the movie but uh you must have like a working version of it or something right now that you know because nothing and nothing i could come up with something for us no it was just stuff like boy arnold was lame it was just stuff like that like from that movie uh christian bale sucks and on that note i was gonna ask you before what it's a sum it up because you haven't really it's not it's a poor movie no you know what it's gonna make a bazillion dollars and uh i don't think anybody that liked terminator 2 would like this movie like that's that's all it

amounts to nobody liked terminator 3 that i know of so anybody who liked terminator 2 won't like this movie this is turning into like an ebert and roper kind of yeah there it often does. Who played the lady Terminator in Terminator 3? Rachel Weisz? Nope. There should be a graveyard of people who've been the main person in failed blockbusters, like the new Superman. He's going to come back, though. They're making another one of those.

They're making a sequel to that one. With Brandon Routh? Yeah, Brandon R we but on the tip of my but as you're saying there's there's these people that do these big blockbusters like everyone in the world sees their face on like happy meals and sign posts but let's say bus stops and uh movie this way and then all of a sudden you know it's not a very good movie and then you just don't see these people anymore yeah everywhere at least when they take a known entity like a uh a christian bale then you'll at least see him again as his heart will go in american psycho 4 what about uh that guy that was in the Star Wars movies?

Mark Hamill? No, Hayden... Oh, Panacea? Hayden Panacea. Christensen, yes. He didn't do anything else, did he? He's been in... Was he in Jumper?

What is Jumper? What is that? It was a movie about this guy who wanted to be the world's greatest high jumper. What about a movie about base jumpers? Is that a thing that could be a movie about this guy who wanted to be the world's greatest high jumper. What about a movie about base jumpers? Is that a thing that could be a movie? Yes, it could. That's got to be on the way. That could be something, right?

Base jumping is jumping off cliffs with parachutes. Or buildings. Okay. Like skyscrapers and whatnot. But with parachutes. Yes, with parachutes. And you just... Not just jumping off.

That's suicide. It's different. If you can add weapons into that mix. Or vampires. You're good to go. Ooh. Weapons, vampires. Those go together very well.

Or they're interchangeable. So, like, a movie about base jumping, where, like, the whole thing is these kids. Kids? What did we say? Teenagers? Teenagers. Hot teenagers. Hot teenagers.

Alternative. Played by 35-year-old types. Alternative. Like, alt-rock say? Teenagers? Teenagers. Hot teenagers. Alternative. Played by 35-year-old types. Alt-rock teenagers. Let's set it in the 90s. Yeah. Who are also extreme with no E on the beginning. Just an X. It's Silverchair. The soundtrack exclusively by Silverchair.

And the characters are named after the guys in Silverchair because they were teenagers at the time. Yeah, so then they base jump. So they're base jumping one night, right? Sure. As Silverchair does. Yeah, but they're up on the tower and they see across from the other tower the mob, right?

You know they're the mob because they're all wearing black suits with red ties. Okay, sexy girl mob. This is turning into a pitch. I like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They see them throwing something, a briefcase, off of the building. Sayonara! Then one of the base jumpers.

The Japanese mob. There's the Japanese, but there's also some Italian guys there for muscle. But they're going to throw the briefcase into the East River, right? Off a building. Off a building. And they're trying to be dramatic. Wouldn't they go right into the river? Oh, yeah.

I mean, it's a movie. I'm starting to picture, like, how the actual pitch might go if you were, like, office in like la and it would be i'm picturing something like you know say it was graham and he would go in and there'd be these executives and he'd be like so you've heard of base jumping and they'd be like get out no you gotta you gotta give them something they know it's the godfather meets point break right yeah right and then they'll be like they'll be like go on okay so so they're on the buildings they stay on the building and the most extreme of them played by the extreme most like the guy who is kind of like like a young cory feldman like you remember cory feldman when you see him um he he's like i'm gonna i'm gonna grab it and And they're like, no, it's too extreme!

Or whatever they say. We'll figure it out with kids and workshopping. We'll fix it in post. Yeah, he jumped. We have to do ADR later to record over all the dialogue we shot. We're not writing the script. We're fixing everything.

We're gonna bring in some extreme guys later to fix this up. So then he base jumps across and grabs the briefcase midair. It's like, really? And then successfully sticks the landing, as they say it, in base jumping. And he jumps the base. Why was the briefcase thrown again? Okay, maybe it wasn't thrown on purpose.

Maybe it was a tug-of-war. Give me back that briefcase! From building to building tug-of-war. No, it was two guys on top of the building. They go to meet, and the guy's like, Where's the money? And they'll be like, Where's the microfilm or whatever he's after?

And then the one guy, Microfiche. It's the 21st century, so it's got to be the memory card. Where's the MP3? Where's that flash memory card? So then they fight. They're doing the back and forth. And then it flies out of the guy's hand.

And that's when the bass jumper swoops in and grabs it. The bass jumper with a chip on his shoulder. The most alternative group. He jumps in midair. The new Corey Feldman grabs it. That would be kind of the most intense moment of the pitch, if it were to be a real pitch. Well, no.

That's where it starts. That's before the credits. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's when he sticks the landing, and he goes radio to bass, extreme, then it comes up. I'm sold.

Do they use the term bass over and over and over in this movie? Well, they can't call it base jumping, right? They have to have a cooler, shortened term for it. He'll be like, extreme arrow to black ninja. Sure. Rock and roll. And then the credits come up, and it's called...

Directed by the Wachowski brothers. And it's called Base-ick Instinct. Base Instinct? Bass Ick I-C-K As in Ick. Yeah, Bass Ick Instinct.

Something. Well, that's maybe the Mad Magazine parody title. Bass Ickly Instinct. And so, and then, you know, you attach kind of like... A Brandon Routh, a girl from Terminator 3. Well, you know, it's interesting, Graham, that you've pitched this because you've always had people in Vancouver that have gone to see your shows and everything.

They would know that you've always had an interest in B- and C-grade films. I'm an extreme interest, some might say. Yeah, and I mean, I wanted to ask you about that, actually. Well, now's your chance. This is it. This is my chance. This is your big chance. I'm going to step up to this microphone that I'm already at and say,

what is it, though? Do you actually watch these films in their entirety? And what are you taking out of these films? They're great. What most people would consider to be horrendous films. But the thing, most of the stuff that gets released is horrendous. There's like 1% of movies that get made that are great. Absolutely.

And you're lucky if you happen to go to the theater and see that one that's great. But most of the ones that even you spend $200 million on are still really terrible. I think music is even like that. And I hope books because I'm really intimidated by chapters. Yeah.

The chapters, the bookstore or the idea of books being... Of chapters in books? You can't watch DVDsds with chapters honestly i did mean chapters of the bookstore because it's just intimidating to see that many books and it's like the only way that i can like deal with it mentally well most of them are probably terrible most books most of everything is terrible really but it's all the books are always better than the movie that's true the old adage but not uh the base jumping one the movie is always better than the movie. That's true. The old adage. The old adage.

But not the base jumping one. The movie's far superior to the book. To the book that will come out. Well, the book's the novelization. It's just based on the movie. You might as well see the movie. I'm writing the book before you finish the movie. Okay.

Can you tell me how it ends? Yep. Because I would say that the bad guy would be played by Mickey Rourke, but he's had a comeback. So who's the new Mickey Rourke who's not Mickey Rourke? Like we're all Quentin Tarantinos looking to revive somebody's career, kind of. But like somebody who used to have a career, but is scary enough to... Because, I mean...

Rest in peace, David Carradine would be perfect. Well, you mentioned someone looking like a young Corey Feldman. I think the answer is right in front of you. Bingo. Look at that. Regular Corey Feldman. Maybe the bad guy could be like, you know, Dolph Lundgren or one of these 80s. Oh, Dolph Lundgren's good.

All right. Types. Stomp on my Feldman. I like it. I like Feldman. I'm sorry. Feldman with a goatee. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Feldman with sunglasses. Oh. Oh, Feldman. I'm sorry. Feldman with a goatee. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Feldman with sunglasses. Oh. Oh, he's got one metal hand. Yeah. Yeah. Because he, too, used to base jump until he lost his hand. That's why he hates base jumpers so much. Wow.

Probably. It's a really minor injury for a base jumper. That will be played on flashbacks. Yeah, you'll see it in flashbacks. Like, he didn't lose it base jumping. No, somebody cut it off with a sword at the top of a base jump. But that's his parachute pulling hand. Yeah, somebody was going to base jump with a sword just before they cut off his hand.

Does that work? Does that make sense? That does. Aren't we going to be angry? That does. Okay, good. Aren't we going to be angry, though?. Okay, good. Aren't we going to be angry, though, when... We the producers or we the viewers?

No, us collectively here in this studio. When somebody steals it? It's going to happen. It's going to come out. And then we're going to be like, what about that time that Graham pitched to us the base jumping film? It's bound to happen. They're making a movie. There's probably five base jumping films in the works right now that will never be made.

Yeah. True. And one of which will. Mm-hmm. True. Basic Instinct. Should we move on to some Overheards? Sure.

All right. Overheard. Overheards. move on to some overheards sure all right overheard overheards uh should we usually start with the guest but i think tonight i have a special request let's start let's start with me because mine is really weak uh overheards yeah things we've overheard in and around our ears. And the other day, I was at Tim Hortons. And Tim Hortons is a national donut chain. Timmy's to the locals. Yeah, Timmy Ho's. Timmy Ho's, some people call it.

Tim's. Tim's. And they have little donut holes. Timbits. They call them timbits. They're like fried dough balls. Yeah. So they're called timbits. And basically my overheard was that these ladies

in line ahead of me kept referring to them as timbutts. There was no specific phrasing. But over and over they kept calling them Tim Butts. Also accepted would be Tom Bites.

I've heard Tom Bits to be honest. Tom Bits? I've heard Tom Bits, but Tom Bites is kind of funny. Tom Bites? Changing the whole thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see how I do. So that was good. That was barely funny. That was added Tim Hortons? Yeah. Were you buying funny, so it was a good way to ease a limb.

That was added Tim Hortons? Yeah. Were you buying Timbits? No, I was buying an ice cap. Oh, yeah, it's summertime. Yeah. Yeah, why not, eh? Are they good?

Mm-hmm. All right. Gotta get it. You don't drink coffee, though, do you? No, I did this morning because I didn't sleep. I was very tired. You were stressed about this podcast. It's because you live in the land of the midnight sun. I do, tired. You were stressed about this podcast.

It's because you live in the land of the midnight sun. I do, yeah. Strange things are done there. What's it called? The Murder of Sam McGee? Maybe. All right. I was referring to the movie Insomnia.

Oh, right, yeah. Same thing. Jimmy, do you have an overheard? You want to participate? You know what? To be honest, I do. I appreciate your honesty. Thanks for not lying to my face. This is something I overheard.

That was in quotations. I was writing it down. Recently, in Vancouver, I was down in English Bay at the beach. Sounds authentic. Down by the bay. Shirtless. Where the watermelons as it were and uh i uh i was just reading down there yeah and there was uh a cute little girl

you know with uh she was maybe three or four years old and she had just a doll just a dog she had yeah little curls she had an ice cream cone it was bigger than she was and uh she uh her parents are with her. And she was one of those kids that was, you know, pretty cute and attracting a lot of attention. You know, pee passerbys. Oh, you know. And this elderly couple, I was kind of watching out of the corner of my eye as I read. And this elderly couple came by.

And they, you know how old people just kind of talk at random whenever they want? They just kind of walk up and be like, oh, I've got something to say. And so they walked up, and the old man was like, oh, you know, you're lucky to have ice cream. And then his wife, the elderly woman, was like, and aren't you so adorable? And then the young girl's father says to everyone not looking at anyone in particular well that's because she has Jesus in her heart.

Oh man! They sullied that moment. I'm not trying to be controversial here or I'm not trying to make some type of commentary You're not trying to be religious. This is a family show for families that like to swear. But you know what? She was four years old. She was three a moment ago.

Exactly. They grew up so fast. On her list of things that are important to her, like Jesus Christ, he's not even on the list. At that moment, it was like, butterscotch ripple in a waffle cone

is the most important thing it's the classic like uh dressing up your kid with the protest slogan t-shirt yeah and right i'm glad that my mommy didn't have an abortion etc the uh the kid being cute has nothing to do with jesus i mean isn't that the lesson well yeah, yeah, nobody would ever go, oh, this child is the devil's work. This child is ugly. Ugly as sin. Well, if you took the ice cream cone away,

then her parents might be inclined to say that she's of the devil. She is of the devil. Without the ice cream? Okay. She'd be upset then. Yeah, because then she'd be wailing. Okay. As if possessed. Right, because then she'd be wailing. Okay.

As if possessed. Right, like Bob Marley's backup band. Bob Marley. The Wailings? Yep. Gray Gray. Yeah, yeah. Oh, why?

I don't know why you say that. I don't know. You know, that's the thing. I think people, they don't know that, like, sometimes we actually hang out outside of the podcast. We hung out yesterday. We watched a movie. You're friends. Yeah, we're friends.

Just like in that picture, when you download the podcast, there's a picture of you guys, and you kind of look like friends. Yeah, we're buddies. You're sitting pretty close together. We watched the movie Clifford yesterday. Yes, we did. Is that the dog? Is that, like, an animated version of the... It's hard to look up Clifford and not find The Big Red Dog.

The Big Red Dog. No, it's a movie starring Martin Short and Charles Grodin from the early 90s. And there's a podcast slash radio show. It's called The Best Show on WFMU. And the host, Tom Sharpling, loves this movie and talks about it on basically every episode. I'm aware of the show. I've been listening to it recently. It's a lot of fun.

It's great. They're very funny. show. I've been listening to it recently. It's a lot of fun. It's great. They're very funny. Yeah, and he's got a big thing. So we kind of, over time, we thought we should... He's got a big thing. Is that what I said? Yeah, that's why I made a face. That's a pull quote right there.

Tom Sharpling's got a big thing. It's one of your drops. We're going to start a Graham soundboard. But we watched it, and it was a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun, that movie. Yeah, absolutely. Clifford. A lot of bad wigs in it. Yeah, a lot of bad wigs. On men. So was this kind of, as

we were talking about previously, was this like a movie or a film, if you will? This was a film? That you were watching, though, for the sake of how poor it was? No, no, no. It was actually quite funny. It is actually quite funny. It is actually quite funny. It's so weird. It's so weird

that this movie got made. Yeah. But that's quite... Just because you called me Gregory and I got off on a thing. But my overheard was it was a guy and a gal. Couple. It was a couple. And they were walking

down the street and we were all stopped at a i was behind them and uh at a crosswalk and the girl was saying uh what was the name of that show where it was drew carrie and the woman that wore all the makeup on her face and the guy said the drew carrie show and then there was a long pause and she said, Shut up. So, you know, that was fun. That was fun for me. That was the most fun I've had at Crosswalk. I hate when people do that.

I don't like, you know, when you get burned like that. He wasn't trying to burn her. She was literally asking the question. But he did. No, well, she couldn't help it But he did. She couldn't help it. He couldn't help it. What did he do? He told her the answer. She'd be like, what is that movie

with the war and the stars? Star Wars? Shut up. Yeah, shut your mouth. Should I read some of these over? Yeah, read them up. We'll ramp up. We've got some great call-ins. Yes, we do.

There was a... Okay, this is an overheard from New York City. And that's the only reason I'm here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It rarely sleeps. New York City? This is from Manda. Sure, it's like Amandaanda but minus the soul yes she's not a manda um the manda me and my boyfriend were eating a place in manhattan oh yeah fancy swanky that's

a couple of months ago where all the tables are seated close together so that you're practically eating off your neighbor's lap anybody been in a place like that elbow room cafe concentration camp concentration camp the army uh a woman looking about 30ish was being seated at the table next to us as she slides in her ass knocks my water glass all over i'm thinking honest mistake there wasn't much space there anyways whatever her friend shows up and through the music speakers and various other noises i caught some of their conversation. I was able to make out that they were NYU students and that they were discussing the fact that they both see the same girl on campus. I couldn't make out who they were talking about, what the one girl says.

They must have really beefed up social security for her. I can't tell them apart from actual students. I'm thinking, why the hell would students need Social Security? They continue with, I mean, you could always tell who those Social Security guys were when her dad, Bill Clinton, came around.

Security. Not Social Security. Chelsea Clinton, everybody. That was a Chelsea Clinton. That was a nice reveal at the end. Thank you for sending that one in. And good luck, Chelsea Clinton, everybody. That was a Chelsea Clinton. That was a nice reveal at the end. Yeah. Thank you for sending that one in. And good luck to Chelsea Clinton at NYU. Oh, she is at NYU. Is that right?

I don't know. She was in university a long time ago. Does she still have braces? Does she just perpetually have braces? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. This is from Nick A. She's got a terrible orthodontist

she's got the orthodontist from batman i don't think your teeth are ready um this was a conversation i heard between two fellow students i only heard this part i mean maybe if it was shaped like a phoenix which is my favorite animal of all time pretty good nice little snapshot well it's got favorite animal of all time pretty good nice little snapshot well it's got to be of all time because it's not a current animal that's true if you're going to name see if you can track down that kid and ask him what his current favorite animal is um also uh a friend of uh a pot of the podcast very funny guy who doesn't do comedy anymore which is unfortunate sent us in a story about Jean-Claude Van Damme.

Who we were talking about our... JCVD. That's the one. Our local remembrances of last week. Yes, and he had one thing to add to that was, I was working at a Starbucks years ago in the downtown Eastside. Every morning, a paramedic would come in at the end of their graveyard shift. I asked if it was a busy night, and they said, yes, goddamn Jean-Claude Van Damme.

He was trying to impress his girlfriend, and when homeless guys would ask him for change, he would give them a $100 bill. They would then OD, and we would have to come and revive them. What an asshole. What an asshole. But at the same Starbucks, a Stephen Baldwin came in and tried to buy a coffee with a $100 bill. When we couldn't break the large bill, he ran outside and jumped in front of a cab. When the cab stopped, he made the driver break his large bill and then came back in and bought a coffee. I just imagine the paramedic when they say... Who gave you this money?

Yeah, yeah. The last thing I remember was the guy from Bloodsport. The muscle from Brussels gave me the money. Frank Dukes gave me this money. He was the time cop. And then Jason S. took a photo of a poster at Commercial and Broadway where somebody's done my favorite thing, where they've graffitied something to make it just a little more hilarious. It's the poster for the movie Blindness, and it's kind of like an obscured picture. It's a blurry picture of somebody putting their hand out, and the person has gone to the trouble of drawing some googly eyes and a funny mouth on the figure.

Which takes away a lot of the dramatic tension in the poster. Sure, yeah. Yeah, and I appreciate that. Thank you, Jason N. We'll post that on the old blog. Jason S., not Jason N., for sending that in. Thank you for writing in. Do you think it's Jason Statham?

Well, I can see that it's not. Okay. Oh, you're predicting but thank you uh if anybody wants to send in anything related to the podcast our email is stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com and if you would like to call in uh call us at 206-339-83208 like these people have hey graham and dave this is brett from calgary calling and i haven't overheard for you. I was in a pet store a little while ago, and this one had a lot of kind of alternative pets. They had rats and mice and lizards and all that kind of stuff. And in one of the corners, they had open cages where you could pet some of them.

This little eight-year-old girl and her mother were over there, and the little girl was playing with some rats. And the mother looked down at her daughter and said, Oh my God, why can't you want a puppy like a normal kid? Yeah, that's pretty much some bad parenting there. Anyways, love the show. Bye. That's probably like, what's the guy that was in Back to the Future who played Marty McFly's dad? Crispin Glover?

Crispin Glover. That's probably what Crispin Glover's parents were like. Didn't he do a movie with a rat? Yeah, Ben. Okay, sorry. Was it Ben or was it the original? Gentle Ben. Gentle Ben.

Yeah. Where the rat was played by a bear. It was very artistic. Thanks for sending that in. That was a lot of fun. A little pet shop tour. Hi, my name is Candace from Halifax and I'm phoning in with an overheard.

I was at my work the other night, and there was a young woman, female performer, plays kind of acoustic songs about her boyfriend breaking up with her, building her a house, or all kinds of other things. Anyways, I was walking past her with all these other 19-year-old musicians, and they were talking, and as I walked past them, all I heard her say was, I stopped acknowledging Nickelback

after This Is How You Remind Me. I stopped acknowledging them. As though, you know, previous to that, there was an intense acknowledgement to Nickelback. I had a next-door neighbor in my dorm in university who was a Nickelback fan, but he was also like, he was mostly like a punk fan. Bizarre.

Big, less-than-Jake fan. But he considered Nickelback in the same category as them. They used to be punk before they went soft. I guess so. Here's a question about that. She said that this girl would play acoustic songs about her boyfriend breaking up with her or building her a house.

Well, those don't go hand in hand. Well, which is it? Which is it? Not only which is it, but who is this guy? He would build you a house or break up with you. And he's threatening. He's like, I'm going to live in this thing alone. If you do, you know.

I put up three walls. I may put up the fourth. I may hit the road. Hello, Dave, Graham, Al. This is Sean from your very own city of Vancouver. I had a overheard today. I was standing in line at Starbucks, which are very common here in this city,

and there was a Russian man behind me talking on the phone. He looked kind of haggard, and on his phone I heard him say, you better don't put those pictures on the face thing. Thank you. They were pictures of him suspending a uh cinder block from his genital right there were pictures of him as zangief punching a bear there were various pictures of uh

of strength sure i like dave that your idea of a russian wasangief. I just think that's great. Well, when he did a strength thing, I had to go Zangief. Certainly. Yeah, okay. What else? Ivan Drago? Yeah, Drago would have been appropriate. Do your listeners... Zangief, he's a Street Fighter 2 character. I just wanted to... He's the Russian one.

For myself, I just wanted to clarify. And Drago is from Rocky IV. Yep. And Blgo is from Rocky IV. Yep. And Blanca is from Brazil. Hey, Zach. Hey, guys. Zach from Los Angeles. Long time bumper. First time overheard her. I was on a plane out of Dallas and a middle-aged couple

sits down next to me and the guy is really scary. He looks like Bob Hoskins who's reading an Us Weekly. And a minute later the woman asks him in this very perky southern voice, so what are you reading, honey? And the man replies

in a very scary German accent, so there is this John and there is this Kate and nobody likes them anymore. Great show, guys. Bye. I like how he referred to, you know, looking

very scary, and he compared it to Bob Hoskins as a short, bald man. Do you know what my theory is on this? Bob Hoskins is getting ready for a role where he's going to play a German. A base-jumping German. I think that's, if it looks, that's the thing if you're in L.A., if you're going anywhere

around L.A., if a guy looks like a guy, it's probably that guy. Even if he's doing a German accent. There have been people in Vancouver who look like people. Am I right? In this small city? Wasn't there a David Lee Roth lookalike who was going around pretending to be David Lee Roth? I knew a guy who was friends with that guy. Swindling old people.

No, that was a true thing. There was a guy I knew who hung around with him. This guy had a lot of people fooled that he was David Lee Roth. And I guess... Because why wouldn't he be David Lee Roth? Well, he looked like David Lee Roth. But how was he using that to his advantage

at that point? Are they just... Well, no, he could get into clubs. People were buying him drinks. It was in the paper. They're buying him drinks. Like, it was a real... It was in the paper. They're buying him groceries. They're letting him crash on their couch. You can sleep in the bed. You don't have to sleep on the couch. You don't have to pay rent.

You wrote the lyrics to Jump. But what happened was, this guy was... It was in the paper. It was in several papers, actually. And somebody called this baloney on the whole thing and said, Malarkey, they said. Yeah, this is malarkey.

This is shenanigans. Straight up chicanery. And there was a lot of people that said, No, this guy's an imposter. And the guy I knew said, No, it's legitimate. Because here's the thing. If you said,

Hey, that guy over there is david lee roth i'd believe it i don't know david lee roth from a whole i know him from hot for teacher video and that's it so if he didn't he brought his pencil yeah yeah exactly um but anyways i just love that you say that it made more than one paper i imagine now that vancouver is a town like a town with a thousand people in it and the daily bugle has there's the daily bugle ross is a there's the vancouver penny saver there's the uh auto trader which usually has a celebrity out and about town section and then there's the Georgia neighborhood beat. But just the thing where everyone's like, everyone's seen this guy around there.

Well, he's not who he says he is. Somebody said that. I remember because I remember a friend showed it to me. It was in one of the free dailies that said, you know, because I guess he was making the scene. He was out at these clubs saying he was David Lee Roth. And then one night he showed up somewhere and they were having like a kind of amateur American Idol style contest. Can David Lee Roth make a scene at this point? Yeah, yeah.

I guess. Okay, continue. I'm sorry. Somebody on stage who was hosting the thing said, I see or I've been told that David Lee Roth is in the crowd tonight. Maybe we can encourage him to come up here and sing a song. And he went up and he couldn't sing at all. And that's when the whole thing...

And he couldn't jump either. Flash just started going off. Flashbulbs. We still have flashbulbs here in Backwater, Vancouver. Well, is there a chance? My name is Lou Michaels from the Penny Saver. Can I get a picture for the social pages? Tang.

Bulb flies out. Smoke. Hot bulb. Is there a chance that there was a fake Jean-Claude Van Damme handing out $100 bills? No. I believe that's legitimate. Jean-Claude van damme has made more than one movie in town i know that is a fact and last week on the podcast i mentioned him giving

a hundred dollars to a homeless guy did you really yeah i forget my memory she is so short um and then yeah we talked about uh you know But he talked about... Was it Stephen Baldwin? Yeah. Did I tell you ever the story about the other Baldwin that came into the coffee shop I worked at? Billy? Bob Baldwin. I think it was Daniel?

Yeah. Is that right? Daniel's the largest Baldwin. He came in and he asked if we had... He asked us if we had something that we didn't make. You know, do you have blended drinks? And we didn't at that point. And so I said, no, sorry.

And he said, well, give me, have an iced coffee. And then he left. No, he left. He went in the bathroom. And I was, oh, no, he said, can I smoke in here? And I said, no. And then he went into the bathroom. And then all of a sudden the restaurant smelled like smoke.

He knocked on the door because he was smoking in the bathroom. And it was a sunny day out. He could have smoked outside. Oh, really? There was no reason to smoke in our bathroom. Odd celebrity behavior. And then when he came out, he had also been sniffing cocaine in the bathroom. This is 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

And he bought an iced coffee with a $50 bill. Wow. Yeah. With a $50 bill. Wow. With a $50 bill? He didn't have to break it in a taxi? Yeah, he didn't have to stop. We had change for a $50. All these celebrities carry the large bills around, as you would if you were a celebrity.

You know what? If somebody gave me back a $5, I'd blow my nose with it right in front of them if I was a celebrity. Fuck your $5, I'd say. I don't even think bank machines give $50s or $100s. front of them if I was a celebrity. Fuck your five, I'd say. I don't even think bank machines give 50s or 100s. I think you have to know a guy. Oh, no, but what you do is,

you know when they say punch in your code? You press cancel, cancel, correction, correction, okay. Up, down, up, down, B, A, B, A. And then it knows that you're a celebrity, and it says enter the first five letters of your last name, and you type it in, enter the first five letters of your last name. And you type it in. And then they go, hello, Mr. Baldwin. Select which Baldwin you are.

And you go. I want a fast-pash Alex. And then they know the denominations you need. I said Alex. I meant Alec. Because he's smart. He just changed it. The most popular, by far, of the Baldwins.

Yeah, oh, by far. But there was a time when there was some contention. Stephen was coming up hot. Yeah, or during the backdraft phase with Billy. Oh, that's right, Billy. There was Billy. It was like there was a time when it was kind of like... Because Alec wasn't the king shit at that point.

He was a marrying man. Right. That's all he had on his resume. That was the prelude to Prelude to Pekiss. Would you say that The Shadow was the least successful of the superhero franchise movies? I would say Captain America probably still. Oh, yeah, that's right. But I remember when I was a kid,

I used to win radio contests all the time. This was before cell phones, and I just had a knack for the redial button and timing it right. They don't still do that on the radio, do they? I don't know that anyone has a radio anymore. I don't know that anyone has a radio anymore. But one passes to the preview of The Shadow.

And my friend who I was supposed to go with, he showed up really late and we didn't get in. Because they give away more passes than they have seats. Yeah. And I was a little upset. Did you listen to the radio? But I held it in. When you were a youth? You know, not only did I listen to the radio, but I listened specifically to The Shadow. I listened to a lot of those old radio serials.

I don't think that's the question I was asking. When I won tickets to The Shadow, it wasn't from Lamont Cranston. Come meet Lamontont cranston live but i'm sorry i'm sorry was your was your question just the radio did i did i listen to the radio yeah in retrospect your question is stupid no because kids don't listen to the radio anymore i did a lot i did as well yeah but i don't think kids now don't well well i know but well maybe now they don't because they all have computers in their room but all i had in my room i didn't have a tv

and a radio well you weren't zach morris i had a radio because that's what i woke up with yeah no and i said i was the same and we used to uh like you call in for things and they'd do the top whatever seven at seven six at six five and five two at two in the afternoon yeah number one at one there must have been people you know fired from their jobs over those radio contests because they'd just be you know in like a back room on a phone just dialing over and over and while there's customers waiting to be helped and then the boss would come i thought you meant the people at the radio station no i just mean you know oh yeah i'm sure but i won us i won so much like once the people told me to stop calling because I was calling too much. Really?

And I told you a few weeks ago that I won tickets to a Hootie and the Blowfish concert. Yeah, yeah. It was a contest. It was to... Because the lead singer of Hootie and the Blowfish... Hootie. Right. Hootie.

Charles Hootman. Hootie. He mumbles a lot, and the lyrics weren't printed in the CD booklet. And so the contest was to figure out what he was singing. To figure out his poetry. Yeah. And this was about 1995, and I had the internet. And so I just looked up the lyrics.

And the contest was to figure out the lyrics. And so I called up one morning, and they had a representative from the record label to confirm the actual lyrics. And they asked me... That's a low-level representative of them. Yeah, yeah. For my sake. They asked... So I got the lyrics right, and the host asked me,

Oh, how did you figure that out? And I said, I looked on the internet. And the lady from the record label laughed at me. Well, who's laughing now, lady from the record label? She probably owns Google. The thing about... The tables are turned, record label. Did you ever meet...

Woody? Yes. No, like a radio guy that was a voice on the radio and then you met them? I have. You saw their weathered, leathery face? Well, because here's the thing from a couple months ago, before we did the live podcast, I think the week before we did the live podcast, I was at a This American Life thing at a movie theater. Sure.

Where they broadcast like a live show that they did at a movie theater. And somebody wrote to me afterwards and said that their girlfriend saw me and he identified me from this podcast. And she said, I thought he'd be taller. I thought he looked short. I thought he'd be taller i thought he looked short i thought he'd be taller like a lot of celebrities they're short yeah yeah graham's not sure i'm not sure but i i don't know maybe my voice leads you to believe that i'm gigantic but i am not like an eight foot arnold schwarzenegger but it's like the uh like do you remember in wayne's world 2 where they go handsome handsome dan and they they there's a guy on the radio there's handsome dan and then there's the guy who does the scream

on the hour every hour and they meet this guy who's this really handsome guy and they're like that must be handsome dan and he's like hey nice to meet you and then he goes in the booth and they're like at 12 o'clock this oh you know at the end of the scream it will be 12 o'clock, at the end of the scream, it will be 12 o'clock. And he goes, ah! And that's all he does at the station. And then Handsome Dan is like the gross Harry Shearer guy. That's what I felt like. I felt like the gross.

But I wonder if a lot of radio DJs, you hear them. You get a mental image of them. They're all hideous. They're all Lamont Cranstons to me. Oh, man. We're that, aren't we? What? Not necessarily.

We're the radio trolls now. Oh, yeah, no, we're totally. We're podcast trolls. We're one step below radio trolls. Well, no, we're not broadcast. I think that podcasting has replaced radio, you could almost say. But you can't listen to a podcast in your car unless you're one of them tech-savvy people that you see on Steve Dotto. Dotto Tech.

But we do have our picture on the podcast. We're not hiding our images. Right. We talked about that. And you looked like friends, we said. Yeah. I'm Matt LeBlanc. I'm Ross.

I'm a Ross. Yeah, because Chandler's already busy doing the search engine. Well, I will say to the audience right now that I'm sitting in the studio with Graham and Dave right now. And I'll confirm that neither of you are hideous. I will say that. I'm a little bit too homophobic to say that I find either of you to be attractive or anything like that. That's how orgies start. We start with light compliments. We start lighting some candles.

Right. But I'm willing to confirm that for the audience right now. No trolls, essentially. I feel like there's always going to be a degree of disappointment when you meet somebody that's a voice only. Because when I first saw a picture of... Like, because they'll never match. There's no way that from hearing my voice you will conjure my face.

Same with you. You're kind of... Yeah. Although... I don't know what that meant! What was that? You sound... You look like your voice.

Did I just say that I was homophobic on the podcast? I didn't actually... No, you said you're too homophobic. You're way too homophobic. The On Our Face Thing group, we have... Did you notice someone wrote that they had a dream about making out with you? That somebody is somebody I work with. That's someone who hasn't seen his face.

Never mind. Yeah, it's not somebody. I can believe an auditory dream where somebody that's disturbing is sometimes people how disturbing is that when somebody says hey i had a dream about you last night then all of a sudden you're like usually it's not making out usually it's like ah you were there in some capacity no maybe sometimes i just need to get it off my chest so i say it it to the person, and then I'm like, was it a sex dream? And they're like, no. No, not at all. Far from it.

The exact opposite. We were wearing parkas. It was cold. But not cold enough to touch. I was barren. Oh, lordy. This has been a lot of fun. has i've been having fun hey uh anybody earlier in the podcast we were talking about summer appropriate we were talking about you

were talking about shirt on shirt off we're talking about flip-flops attire or lack thereof i would like to put it out to the listeners what is is summer inappropriate? It's hot out, but what is inappropriate to do? Because I know what my list is. You have a certain criteria. Jimmy, you're letting it hang out any which way. Whatever's comfortable, right? Certainly. If it feels good, do it.

In Vancouver. That's what you're about. Yeah, well... I want to know across the spectrum. We got listeners in the States. We got listeners all over the place. I want to hear what is a summer... It's hot out, sure, what's inappropriate? Can you take your shirt off even if you don't look like Shifty Shellshock?

Yeah, we're talking, what about those short, short running shorts that were kind of ironically in fashion for a year? I got a pair. Who doesn't? Who don't? But send in any of your overheards, any of your kooky neighborhood characters. We didn't get to them this week, but we're stockpiling. Yeah, we've been recording our podcast really early, so we haven't been able to get reactions

from the previous episode. We're on a wonky schedule. Yeah. We're going to correct that. We'll see. It might be a summer schedule. Oh, yeah. We're in the middle of our summer schedule.

Yeah. We're a mid-season replacement. But you can send all of your email correspondence to stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com. And you can send all of your telephonic correspondence to the digit code in your telephone. [phone]. My vision's failing me and my memory. 206 339 TEET. And Jimmy, thank you

very much for coming and being part of the podcast today. It's been great. It's been a lot of fun. Do you have anything that you want to plug? Do you have a website? Your Funny or Die clip? You know, at this point I would say that the focus is on the films, the short comedy films, so check out T.T. Vids that's all one word together on

well, we're on Funny or Die. Okay, yeah, check that out. Check us out, we've got a couple up there, we're utilizing the local. Now is that Vids with a Z? It is not. Okay. It is with a D-S on the end. Now you say films, are you doing that in a pretentious way?

Yeah, are they films? Are they clips? They're shorts. As we touched on earlier, they're shorts. Well, check that out and do keep your ear to the ground if you're in Vancouver for Logos. Have we settled on Logos?

We'll see. There could be some lawsuits, but at this point we're going to proceed with Logos. I'm still going to throw in my vote for Los Logos there's no and the the Techno La Bamba I'm going to

throw in my vote for Los Lonely Logos Los Lonely Logos nice think about it thank you for the suggestions keep your ear to the ground for Los Lonely Logos

thank you for the suggestions playing out of venue near you Dave do you have anything you want to plug? Yeah. Nothing? But thank you very much for listening.

Also, if you're savvy enough, if you have a camera phone with you, if you find any graffiti that you find particularly hilarious, I really enjoyed getting that blindness graffiti. I'm a big fan of clever graffiti. If you find any, please do email it to stoppodcastyourself at gmail.com. And also, make yourself familiar with the blog that Dave lovingly puts together, creates every week. It adds to the podcast. It accentuates the points in the podcast.

That is stoppodcastyourself.blogspot.com And thanks for joining us. If you enjoyed the show, tell your friends because we want this thing to grow. We want this thing to flourish. But for me and Dave Schoenke and Jimmy Barnes, thank you very much for joining us here next week for another thrilling episode of Stop Podcasting yourself.