Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 670 - Aaron Read

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

Comedian and improviser Aaron Read returns to talk staying up all night, ‘90s movies, and dino dreams.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 670 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's very, I think, very excited for when we have episode number 678 so that we have that little 678 action. Mr. Dave Schumke. Is that why 6 was afraid of 7? No. Yeah, 789, that'll be another fun yeah yeah yeah well i mean don't

get ahead of yourselves with 670 i don't know though and we need to spend the next eight weeks looking forward to six seven eight is it just the lead-in of like yeah uh you know a dance performance yeah exactly uh like a real like a cabaret a cabaret rehearsal yeah six seven eight and our guest today uh return guest to the program is the also oh so hilarious mr aaron reed everybody i'm back baby oh the man of a hundred voices back again back again to have some fun hello sorry hey yes i'm aaron hello hi aaron welcome um what character was that that we just heard the uh well there was old old smoky voice yeah come on come on it could be anyone could be friendly could not be yeah and then you got your uh your old showbiz host yeah showbiz radio host i like it um i was watching i was um i took a shower last night i've been showering at night lately it's it's the pandemic

is crazy man and uh it's messing with your circadian rhythms is it absolutely uh but it's um i was so i was uh shaving after i took my shower last night and i could just hear abby she was i could just hear the tv in the other room but it sounded like she was listening to an old-timey showbiz radio play well cool it was it ended up being um a real an old movie with marlon brando and sophia lorenne on a cruise ship oh just like it had i went to bed after and it was still on and it was just like the uh a scene was one shot for like like just walking back and forth like a play like they were just walking back and forth in this set yeah it's because they like made that set like nothing was on location so they're like let's get the maximum out of this

set that we built to look like an apartment in a city filled with apartments uh should we get to know us yeah get to know us erin how are you hey i'm doing good i'm uh yeah you know chilling grilling uh cool my grilling uh blog up and they tried to take me down, but I'm back. Oh, I want to explore this. No, no, no. Who took down your grilling site? Yeah, I'm good. I woke up at 4 p.m. today because I stayed up really late doing drugs and watching Empire Strikes Back.

So... Okay, yes. Yes. Okay, I want to go. First of all, so who's trying to take down your grill blog? Old T-Bone Joe. Oh, yeah.

He's got a really killer blog and he says I'm uh i'm stealing from him you guys should work together it should be a hashtag grill blog movement do you know what it's like to work with t-bone joe he's impossible he's so insecure and his legal name is t-bone joe which is the most disturbing thing about him his last name is joe his birth name was joe but he changed it to his birth name to t-bone and his last name i guess you don't change you don't change your birth name never mind you see what i'm dealing with here um what drugs did you do yeah what kind of what kind of drugs are we talking about here i did like because we're primarily a drug podcast yes and that's why i

wanted to really bring it up right away the i did i did i bought some mushrooms off the internet and then so i did some of those but not enough to like go like hey man i'm on the moon call me back hey you know but uh i uh i did that and then i smoked marijuana and then i and then i i watched so i started watching empire strikes back at 4 30 p.m because i also had a one liter of diet coke i'm not doing well you started watching at 4 30 p.m yesterday no no 4 30 a.m uh okay this morning all right yeah okay 4 30 a.m that's when you started watching it. Yeah, I was like, I'm going to go to bed because you know what?

I've just, during this pandemic, I've been I don't like any of my thoughts. I'm done dealing with my thoughts, you know? I've stopped going to therapy. That's good. Yeah. You've cloistered yourself

in a small room. is your therapist expecting you uh no no no no no it was like uh it was like a counselor but i uh i just ran out of money but um oh anyways i just don't you know when you lie in bed at night and it's just thoughts and it's like this is bad like this is not good. Oh, we lost Dave. Oh, we lost Dave. Well, you and I can just hang out for a minute. He'll come back. All this talk about Empire Strikes Back.

He's like, you know what? Time to check it out. That one looks like a play, too, though. Empire Strikes Back? Yeah, when Luke is at the Yoda mansion. Yoda. They built this tiny set so that Yoda could walk around. When Luke is at the Yoda mansion. Yeah, Yoda mansion where he makes his centipede stew, all that fancy food.

Guys, I lost my internet for a minute. I assume you just kept going and talking about pretty much um is that's number two yeah that's the best one people say people like that one it's like the most like intense and a bit gritty did you watch this with uh anyone else no no i just put it i have my computer in my room, so I just turn the monitor to my bed and then I lie in my bed and I watch it.

That, to me, is better than therapy. Right there. That's a little self-care. Lie down, watch the best of the Star Wars films. And people really hated the next one, right? They hated Return of the Jedi because of Ewoks?

Yeah, because they were supposed to be Wookiees, but then they wanted to market it to kids, so they made them Ewoks. Oh, I had no idea. That's what I've heard. Kids hate Wookiees. Yeah. Yeah, they're too tall.

They like Wookiees, but little shrinks. Yeah, that's true. They were probably easier to market to kids because they looked like kids but we all know yeah they look like that they were adults children they look like little kid wookies kid wookie was my detective name i'm not like a big star wars person but i do watch it every once in a while but i grew up with it so that i kind of am but i'm not like i'm not on them i'm not on reddit or anything like that oh but you could get on what about a subreddit about uh people who watch empire strikes back late at night you could make some

friends yeah that's true the internet brings us together so you okay how did you end up being so when did you do the mushroom yes Yes, yes. Well, because I bought this bag. They're called Blue Meanies. They're supposed to be kind of intense. Blue Meanies, okay. I started at like, I don't know, eight. I took like a tiny bit. And I was also working on a painting.

So that's what I was doing all last night. I was working on a painting and just doing that. So i started about eight and then didn't affect me enough so i took some more at 10 and then didn't affect me enough so i took it some more at 12 this is how they move product this is how the blue meaning makes money is it just did it ever affect you enough uh yeah once i like i don't think i took yeah so i didn't yeah once I smoked weed on top of that it was fun yeah listen to my bloody valentine and just like rocked out you know wow this sounds like this is quite an evening in that you uh you had fun yeah I know how to have fun I've always loved being in my little room even when I was a kid I've always loved making a little cave what would you do as kid to aaron reed in

the tiny little room um well i used to set up i had this like weird ikea bunk bed that had a loft bed that had a bed on the top and a little thing on the bottom so i used to um you know uh the bottom was a chill zone i put a i put a futon there and that was for so i could chill and listen to um ace of bass and uh that puff daddy song uh we'll miss you because that was huge i would just get emotional listening to that song we miss you um i didn't like i i as a uh kid who didn't listen to rap music i didn't know notorious big I just knew the song about him. Same here. At that age. Yeah. And then I grew up

older and I was introduced to Notorious B.I.G. as the guy who raps about video game consoles. Oh yeah, Super Nintendo. Because what were you going to do back in the day? Go to the library and try to check out a book on Notorious B.I.G.? Excuse me, library and try to check out a book on Notorious B.I.G.

Excuse me, librarian. Do you have anything about the West Coast, East Coast rap battle? The feud? What else would I do in my room? I don't know. I've always just... There was a little shelf I used to go up there and kind of pretend to read because I don't know if I really knew how to read. And, you know, i was just a little little flesh like creature who just was

in my room i uh so i have a six-year-old who now is the owner of a loft bed oh whoa and but uh the the chill zone underneath is is now a desk she she wanted the desk attachment from ikea so i was like no we gotta go we gotta go uh you know um beanbag chair lava lamp yeah yeah yeah this is supposed to be she wanted the desk and the rolodex and the uh the metal pitcher of water for her office yes she absolutely wanted the balls that clack back and forth and a rubber stamp. I got time for you, Dad. Come on in. How did you get past my secretary?

Yeah. When you were a kid, was being sent to your room, was that viewed as a punishment or were you like yes that's where i want to be anyways um it was still a punishment because because it was usually in the summer when i wanted to go outside if i had done something bad right and you know when you're a kid in the summer you know how it doesn't get dark till nine and it's just like the most infuriating thing of all time if you have to go to bed at like eight and it's still sunny out and you're like yeah you're laughing and splashing outside yeah

yeah that i remember now that you say that i do remember that very clearly like the sun just peeking around the blinds and uh peeky blinders it's true like a horse when they sleep. Is that where the name Peaky Blinders comes from? Yeah, that's how they get around, and that's their business that they're in, horses. I've never watched it. No, me either.

Apparently it's about a hat. It's got like a blade in their hat, and that's the Peaky Blinder. As far as I know. Yeah, but maybe people told me that and it's not really true because I haven't watched it. I won't watch it. But... Which of the three of us, we should make a pact that like

whichever one of us watches Peaky Blinders first loses. Yeah, I'll probably lose. That'll probably become curious enough. Who's the guy in it he's like the scarecrow guy is it killian murphy oh i know him as the red eye man he was on that that movie red eye uh by the airplane yeah on the airplane what was what was that movie about was it uh i never saw it but it was like a woman sits down next to him and he's like so tired that he's gonna kill you i don't know but he's like he's the villain or he's possessed or something

like that is there another one where jody foster is it jody foster someone has a child with them on the plane and they fall asleep when they they wake up, the child's gone? Yes, that's Jodie Foster. That's Flight Plan. Oh, okay. Flight Plan. Yeah, Flight Plan. Never saw that, but I love Jodie Foster.

Yeah? What's your favorite Jodie Foster? Silence of the Lambs, probably. She's so good in that one. You're so good in that. Panic Room, she's really good in. She's good at acting. Yeah, when I started saying it was Jodie Foster in Flight Plan, I was like, maybe I'm thinking of Panic Room.

Yeah. That was the line that they used to sell it. It's Panic Room in the sky. In the sky. Yeah. Anyways, I've never seen it. And you know what? I will watch that movie.

I will watch Flight Plan. You can mark my words. Yeah, we should do a month of just airplane dramas. We got Flight Plan. We've got the other one you said. Air Force One. Red Eye. You just watched Air Force One, didn't you? Yeah. Snakes on a Plane. That's another one. That's a classic.

That was one that knew that it was being silly. Yeah. Everybody was in for a very silly time. But it's not fun when everybody knows it's silly. It's only fun when you learn after the fact that these people were like, oh, God, it was bad. I thought we were working on a good movie. I watch bad movies with people on that Netflix teleparty.

And for a long time, I was the one choosing the movies and i think i figured out the perfect recipe for a bad movie which is they try and do they're very serious about it they try and do a big concept but they don't have enough money to do it they usually that's the best movie where they like have a you know a hundred thousand dollar budget but they're like but then we're gonna have two worlds two different fantasy worlds and it's like no you're not because you're gonna film one in um coquitlam down by the campgrounds and that's gonna be your other world in this movie one planet is all a campground it's a giant planet of campgrounds that was a movie i watched where dolph longren goes back in time to kill someone to medieval times but medieval times

is just west vancouver kind of like away from the road so that there isn't cars like some trees isn't there some story about dolph lundgren going into a meeting and like stuffing a bunch of crackers in his mouth or something like that? Like just being insane. I'm going to need more. That's all I know. I just know there's some like urban legend about him acting so crazy. Oh yeah.

Like in a boardroom where people were discussing the film he was gonna be in and uh that's just that's why he signs up for these movies because he's uh he's out there man you know he's different i love the the fact about dahl lundgren that i know that i that no one's ever repeated to me you know he's crazy he ate crackers he ate so many crackers but the thing about dahl lundgren i always hear is he has an advanced science degree he's crazy. He ate crackers. He ate so many crackers. The thing about Dolph Lundgren I always hear is he has an advanced science degree. He's like a physicist or something. Oh, really?

Whoa, cool. That's crazy. Imagine going through all the trouble of becoming a physicist and then being like, well, you know what? Maybe I'll just go into showbiz. Isn't that like the guy the lead singer of Offspring? wasn't he like a super intelligent yeah they're all like all these people are so intelligent

dolph lundgren was a lead singer of the offspring brian may from queen the lead singer of the oxford offspring was a new york district attorney wasn't before he was in the offspring well he took that limitless pill so he could be both that's right yeah i watched limitless recently it's so out of control it is so out of control and they made a tv series based on it as well yeah that bradley cooper produced um did you so you were saying you watched a movie over the Netflix teleparty? I've never done that. I don't know what that is. Oh, it's like an app where you, where you, everyone watches the same Netflix movie in

sync and then there's a horribly created chat that everyone chats to and just does jokes. We just like make jokes about the bad movie. Right. But the chat goes so fast and you're like it's fun it's fun but it's like it's like a bit of a brain workout but i love it i did it with my family but not at the netflix part we just were all on whatsapp and we all started the the movie at the same time oh nice yeah it was fun we watched dirty dancing oh cool you know what yeah that's a good one all ages all ages can appreciate dirty dancing all ages some ages are like why why is that girl

sick what happened to her and parents don't want to don't want to go into it you watched it all ages with people who didn't know about abortions i think the first time i watched that i didn't know anything about abortion i didn't i've never i i never watched it i didn't know it was about abortion like i didn't know that was her thing well it's not her thing yeah i guess not but uh yeah it's a like it's something i saw when i i've probably seen that movie like 10 times just because it used to be on tv all the time do you have a movie like that where you accidentally watched it so many times? Ooh, yes. Like another one was when I was on vacation with my family when I was a kid,

and we had like a movie channel, but during the day they only played the movie Muriel's Wedding. I've seen that about seven times. Is that a Baz Luhrmann? I don't know. It's Tony Collette, right? It's Tony Collette. It's tony collette australia it's australian it's it got a lot of album music in it uh yeah but yeah for some reason i've seen

that so much more than like than real good movies you know like i've only seen uh you know i've only seen flight plan once i've only seen bits and pieces of that terrible marlon brando sophia lorraine movie um do you ever watch old movies aaron like old old um i try to because i like old old movie monsters and stuff like that um so but any really old movies no i'm pretty bad like i'm a pretty bad media consumer like i'm trying to be better and watch better things but um but it's more fun to watch bad things though it is very fun to watch bad things um but yeah i haven't watched any old movies in a while i don't think so sorry that's okay it's okay well don't worry about it so did you go to bed right after empire strikes back yeah i fell asleep or i eventually turned off the computer

and and decided to listen to music and and uh and fell asleep that way so that was good how do you fall asleep most nights or mornings most recently uh by watching something and then i wake up at noon usually and go what what day is it what's going on and then uh i have a coffee and i go okay it's tuesday and then i start my day and you um do do you wait so you watch on your computer do you have the computer in the bed do you wake up with the computer like on the computer no no i used to do that when i had a laptop but i got a big uh big uh big basic pc on my uh in my room so so uh you can't really i don't know i don't, I don't wake up with the modem on me.

Yeah. What? Being spooned by your laptop. Yeah, I feel a light breeze of the fan. So, you're staying up all hours of the night. What else have you been doing? You're painting? Yeah.

And what else? What's keeping you busy the rest of the time during the daylight hours yeah during the day well i yeah i just stayed home and i paint and i go on the internet is everyone you've interviewed during the pandemic is like i watch shows and i went for a walk no we had dolph lundgren on he earned a degree but i couldn't understand him because he kept eating crap yeah we had the guy from the offspring on he earned a degree but I couldn't understand him because he kept eating crap we had the guy from the offspring on he was so smart he's

very fly considering his race and knew a lot about the judicial system I think he's also a pilot you know what you could have I might be complaining to the guitarist or the lead singer but the guitarist the guitarist's nickname was noodles and the lead singer had noodles for hair

so it was impossible to know who's who i think i like i i tried to do exercise i uh and uh i i figured out something that i like that i want to try more which is um like it sounds so like silly but like um just like improvised like running sessions you know okay i don't i don't like to run you know when you start doing exercise and your heart rate starts getting going and then you get stressed out I'm trying to avoid that so I walk around at night and then I run up hills

at night and then usually by the top of the hill I start to get stressed out but then it's over and then I walk down the hill I'm not getting stressed out for exercise anymore I want to do it because I want to be healthier but I'm not getting stressed out for exercise anymore i want to do it because i want to be healthier but i'm not a fucking terminator i don't care i just want to feel okay and not like those terminators always exercising yes yes terminators are obsessed with

their body image yeah that's true true um what uh they never pick like they never pick an out of shape person to yeah to like put their skeleton inside they should do a terminator where they don't show you who it is you just see the blue light and then the terminator comes up and it's just larry the cable guy and he's like get her done gotta assassinate this person like is there there's no reason he's got a super strong robot inside the the flesh why does it have to be arnold schwarzenegger right yeah that's a good question like why does he why does he have to be so big why like why couldn't it just be a super strong skeleton robot inside paul giamatti yeah inside like a stout like yeah that's a that's a good question susan boyle in her cinematic debut well in one of the terminators

terminator can sing introducing susan boyle i dreamed a dream introducing susan boyle and susan boyle she plays all the roles like the well the terminator but it's like the clumps is a pretty good that's pretty good pitch uh you know it's uh who would it be though eddie murphy he's too big for that we need somebody john leguizamo i feel like john would do that kind of role that would rule he was he's like whoopi goldberg right he was discovered because of a one-man show or something like that me yeah no yeah i think that rings a bell yeah and then he made the pest and we all remember

that as being a great uh yeah i feel like there's a bunch of people who had a one-person show in them and were granted an entire career. Yeah, I guess, yeah, turned it into an entire career, but I don't know, I can't think of anyone. Those two are fine.

I don't feel like they're unworthy of having a career. No, the Whoopies stuff's great, too. What's your favorite whoopie the i don't know the titles but i watched some of um her um her hbo one person shows and they're really good but i love her in anything she was on an episode of law and order where she played maybe an evil foster parent and and she was really good. And it was Law & Order Criminal Intent,

and Vince D'Onofrio could not crack the case. Oh. Oh, no, they cracked it at the end. They cracked it at the end, sorry. Spoiler. Did you have a favorite Law & Order? So, if someone's doing a tally of the things I'm watching, I'm such a garbage man empire

strikes back terminator law and order i love cops let me just tell you any cop propaganda i'm watching it yeah like empire strikes back yeah that's cop propaganda the i me and my roommate have been watching Criminal Intent just because Vince D'Onofrio, Vincent D'Onofrio is the lead in that one. And holy shit, they give him like, he does all the weird stuff. It's like one of the early weird detective,

I feel like it is. Yeah, yeah. He's very like, he's different. Yeah. He's different. And he always lays a trap for the for the bad guys it's always like he said he sets a whole scene or he like tricks them into confessing because they're on a roller coaster and the guy's scared yeah he brings him on a roller coaster he's like fine i did it man is he does he have a personal life in it like he does like you you find out that his mother

has schizophrenia so that's a big part of it he has an arch nemesis called victoria who escaped one episode by jumping through a window and she's like um she's like a british master manipulator and she appears in four episodes but uh bobby vincent d'onofrio can never get her or break her she always slips through his fingers yeah that's a real sherlock holmes moriarty yeah got a relationship they've got going and bobby vincent d'onofrio likes to touch people's things to get a reaction out of he does a lot of stuff you're not allowed to do um excuse me ma'am can i touch your passport or one time he because a woman was uh had killed a shock jock radio dj you found out because her ex her ex-boyfriend loved the the shock radio dj so she used to call in with sexy messages but then eventually she killed the radio

dj because he was sinning and stuff like that. Sinning. But they're going to do a... But she was the one calling in saucy messages. I know. Let's let she who is without horny messages cast the first stone. But they were going to search her apartment.

But before the police could get there, Bobby got there uh beforehand and was like trying to be personal with her and so he faked a whole relationship with this woman so that he could get her which i'm pretty sure you're not allowed to do i love if you're undercover you're allowed to do anything you want no he's not undercover he's like i'm a cop i'm into you yeah i love how it has like all the Law and Orders they're always murders but they're torn from the

headlines so they have to take something that's popular and add a murder yeah like Pokemon Go was there ever a Pokemon Go episode? I don't know like somebody was luring people with Pokemon Go and then killing them in central park yeah some yeah shock jock also it's all about shock jocks there's a lot of math whiz there's

two episodes with a with a kid who's a math whiz and uh the kid's dad does something bad so there must have been some math whiz news floating around in the early 2000s for them to, to pick up on that. My favorite thing they do on any of the lawn orders is where they are dealing with like a rock star or a rap star or, you know, like, cause they, they have to figure out what that is and what a good song supposed to sound like.

And then they miss a hundred percent of the time. Yes. I like, I like, I like, um, when it's a website or an app and they have to oh it says you're on friend share yeah they can't use the real names of things because they're

they're new york newspapers called the new york ledger and then so they'll like throw the paper down the desk be like headlines from the ledger coming out i really like that they have a whole universe it would be they probably did an episode that was torn from the ledger coming out i really like that they have a whole universe it would be they probably did an episode that was torn from the headlines about heath ledger dying but they had to like change that to heath new york times as long as everything's opposite we're fine yeah it is it's interesting to watch though because it's crazy it's such cop propaganda that we all watched growing up like the cops are fucking geniuses okay they do whatever they want but

it's fine and they're like the way that they talk about people who do drugs is like out of this world like how so it's like it's supposed to be a pro cop show but somehow it's anti-cop like one of the eames bobby's uh partner will be like oh that tell that junkie to get a job it's like what maybe you should go to sensitivity training and then we're all supposed to be like man she's sassy she doesn't care about human life yeah um yeah the uh uh the one that i grew up watching was the one with lenny briscoe he was like old and sometimes they would make him do a scene where he had to run and he even in the show he was out of breath like they didn't cut around it they just let him be uh but he was wisecracking that was his big deal oh yeah big

wisecrack say something silly yeah yeah they'd always be like uh if it was some sort of like farm one they'd always be like well i don't know i don't have a joke for it but you know what i mean how many farm episodes were there a lot there's no farm episodes. Upstate New York somewhere. The one thing the show's never been about. Wait, I can figure one out. Okay, if it's like a subway killing, then it would be like... It would be like...

Looks like... You know, looks like someone... Someone took a swipe at him instead of swiping their transit card or if it was like so if so maybe a farmer was on the subway and they were like well he pitched his last fork uh or he's carrying a big bag of seed and they say he's gone to seed yeah yeah there's a farmer on the subway and he goes bbq and they go nypd and then they that's the joke yeah this guy bought the farm so this guy sees two cops and says bbq

and they go nypd and then he gets arrested and he's a farmer yeah then it goes dunk dunk dick wolf that's the end what's the crazy uh name of the person that writes on law and order isn't there speed weed speed weed yeah speed weed there was someone named speedweed who wrote on all those who wrote on like ncis and csi and uh all that kind of stuff for it was it was quite a a phenomenon for a while i think they might have been like it might have been just a you know a generic name like alan smithy right so something nobody will notice if we just call them speed weed we could just move on do either of you have tv like cable television yes i have some cable television yes did you know that dick wolf is the executive producer on that suite like sometimes

when you watch tv there'll be this it almost sounds like satire but but they'll be like, On Tuesday, we got Chicago Med. And then after that, on Wednesday, we got Chicago PD. And then on Friday, we got Chicago NYPD PD Chicago Med. They have four different Chicagos that are all back-to-back. And they're all by Dick Wolf. And these should take over the world. Yeah. all by Nick Wolf and he's trying to take over the world.

Yeah. We, um, we're in this house. We're big Chicago. NYPD. It's the crossover. They said would never happen,

but then it did. Um, we were, uh, over Christmas we did three puzzles. Ooh. Uh, we did a Simpsons puzzle that had like the, uh, just like all a a Simpsons puzzle that had like the, uh,

just like all a thousand Simpson characters all lined up. Um, and we did a, uh, what was a rock and roll puzzle? Cool. History of rock and roll. Whoa.

Oh yeah. So your, your Elvis is your, uh, yeah. From Bill Haley all the way to, you know, Chris Cornell. Uh, and then we did a tv families

possible like um you uh you know all in the family and um family ties family ties at the simpsons family matters Matters. Family Guy. Family Guy. Although it did have Family Matters, but it mostly had Urkel with a tiny postage stamp of the Winslow families in the background. But one family it had that was quite, it seemed very, like all these puzzles I buy from this puzzle company, I went to their website. They just do like baby boomer puzzles. It's all like 50s drive-ins and the history of the Ford Mustang. Route 66.

And then a bunch of rock and roll boogie woogie ones. But one of the families was Blue Bloods. Yes. Oh, yeah, Blue Bloods. yeah they're all cops i didn't know that i have never watched the show but i guess they must be a family of cops yeah and yeah that's the whole isn't the one of the walbergs is in it oh maybe donnie yeah and like tom sellick's in tom sellick yeah yeah tom sell. Three generations of cops. Man, that puzzle company sounds like it would be a dream for whoever does the creative designing for Red Robins. Because that's all that's inside of Red Robins. Yes, it is absolutely the same kind of like... It's like Marilyn Monroe running away from a giant milkshake.

That's absolutely the the idea my favorite and i think i've talked about it before is but that fucking poster of like james dean uh frank sinatra dean martin and they're all playing pool like from different it's like they all time traveled to go smoke in a a billiard hall and and I guess they were all around the same time they didn't time travel but maybe they did if they were in modern times and they were like hey we can't smoke here to the time machine to the time machine so we can smoke inside

again and then there well there's the like diner with Humphrey Bogart and stuff oh yeah the Nighthawks or whatever oh that famous one yeah Nighthawks Boulevard I Oh, the famous one. Yeah, Nighthawks. Boulevard. I think they call it the Boulevard of Broken Dreams in the poster version of it.

Did you two go to poster stores when you were kids? Yes. Yes. I loved poster stores. What was your poster store called? I'm trying to remember what my one was called. I think mine was just called Poster World. Yeah, we definitely had poster world and like was it a big place because the one i went to was

gigantic this one was tiny it was just all they were on a rack and you would go flip through them yeah and then like were they like retro posters or the way they just like current whatever was the thing my store was all over the place because i had i bought a papa roach poster from their huge papa roach poster um i bought a simpsons all the characters poster um that's the one but but they did have i mean if you wanted a naughty poster you had to go to spencer's gifts and if you wanted to see four beautiful women in jean shorts in the back of a pickup truck you had to uh you had to go to spencer's gifts for that tasteful did you ever get one of those i know i was too afraid i was too afraid to get anything sexual from the mall yeah i think i was too afraid but also i would have i i think deep down i knew i would have regretted that i would have gotten it and gotten

another poster to put over top of it whenever adults were around and And then if they sent me to my room, I'd just take down that Simpsons poster and just dream about the ladies in the back of a truck. Is that what it is? Yeah. I don't know. It was always some sexy thing. Yeah. Just like a sexy person with a football. What posters

did you... So you had Papa Roach and the Simpsons. I had a lot of stuff cut out from Sports Illustrated magazine and then a handful of mostly sports posters. Did you have any other posters? I had one of a whale that I cut out of a magazine, probably some travel magazine that was a whale, just the fin of a whale going down during sunset.

That was pretty nice oh that's pretty good that's a that which seems like one of those posters that would be framed by black and then just says like imagine underneath yeah yeah yeah yeah there's more underneath than you know that's right when my brother moved away i got all of his old posters to put them in my room and i remember there was one it was before they made those ones with the the black around them and like the word perseverance or whatever yeah uh but it had a guy skiing and well it said those who say it can't be done are usually interrupted by others doing it and it was a picture of a guy skiing and it looked like he was about to ski into the ocean like from a mountain into the ocean i also love that skiing

is their choice of like if someone tells you you can't do it just go ahead and do it with skiing where you need a full fucking car to get to the thing and then you need skis and then you need the special boots and then you need the special boots and then you need the fur so you don't not the fur but the suit so you don't uh you have to learn how to ski you need the boots with the fur that's right you need to get those new uggs god damn it um but you also need to ski the conventional way because if you don't you'll die yeah if you just you have to do if you decide to do some crazy style of skiing you're gonna go into a tree and die um yeah there was one when i was a kid my family went on vacation and we stayed in

a cabin and in the basement there was a couple posters of naked people skiing and one of naked people playing tennis whoa that's a very like i feel like 70s ski culture was a lot of like butts hanging out yeah yeah yeah it was the premier horny culture of the 70s it was like you know naked ladies with that like zinc on their nose yeah so they don't get sunburned 70s movies were like we're traveling man and then the 80s movies are like we're fucking i, I'm rock hard and I'm going on a high school ski vacation, man. It's like, I shouldn't be watching this. That's true. I remember it was maybe called Ski School.

And it was just like the top to bottom, the horniest movie ever made. It's just a bunch of guys and they thought you know if they're really good at skiing they could land some bait you know and they were right yeah that's right and the moral of the movie was they were right it was like mount porkies on a mountain yes yeah we have porkies

yeah and it was like the snobs versus the slobs mount porkmore porkmore um so uh yeah is there like was there a genre of movie when you were a kid that you were categorically not allowed to watch like under your parents rule yes and actually oh well actually my parents were pretty chill about movies like i got to watch the green mile and shit and I got to watch. Whoa. Lucky.

Yeah. Green mile. I, I, I rented it. Uh, the originals, uh,

Steve, uh, the one with, uh, Tim Curry for my grade five birthday party. Four boys, four boys came down to the basement and we watched a three-hour movie

and they were like, this sucks. And I was like, I'm seven. But I actually wanted to learn how to start a website so that I could review movies that I always saw at the video store

that I knew I wasn't allowed to watch. Yes. You know, like Mimic or yeah um any of those movies along came a spider I was always like oh what's that about um just some of the more Jacob's Ladder I was like oh what's that about um that one's horrifying I never wanted to watch that one I remember my siblings watched that one that I it was too scary for me. I just remember Tim Robbins had to take a bath with ice cubes in it. He, I guess, had a fever.

And not the fun ice cube from Are We There Yet? Just regular ice cubes, right? Yeah, just regular. He didn't have to take a bath with the rapper Ice Cube. But I wasn't allowed to watch like raunchy comedies. That's like American Pie was not allowed in my household. Okay. But.

Like a raunchy comedy. That was where your parents drew the line and said. Yeah. Come on now. We're going to be responsible adults here. Yeah. Watch the Green Mile again. I was the only like TV show I wasn't allowed to watch was Married with Children.

Oh, yeah. I think my parents tried to veto that and then it went went away as soon they just you know they give it's true it's just like let the kids watch this horny program what's the worst that can happen it can't be around policing the tv all day yeah it wasn't even horny it was was trashy, I think. Yeah, that's true. But it was a little bit horny. Of course. Yes. Well, so was I.

How about you? Were you not allowed? Yeah, there was like, I think that there was kind of a ban on anything really spooky, like anything like monsters, just because it would have been like, we watched it and now your kid's up all night freaking out, you know? So that was kind of the no no-go zone but also i wonder if no i think we saw like ski school and that was like one of the horniest movies i've ever seen with your parents kids were watching ski school three tonight there's hardly any skiing in it yeah it's just people fucking in a lodge do you was did you ever

have those moments when you were a kid where you're watching a movie and then it gets sexy and you have a lot tons of anxiety yes when you're watching it with your parents yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah uh even recently i was like a couple years ago at Christmas watched the movie Hustlers the Jennifer Lopez feature there's a lot of sex in that and I watched it with my folks and even now it's still uncomfortable all these years

later it's not something that you can like bond over with your parents at any point it's something they still talk about well see you Graham and man that Hustlers movie with your parents at any point. Yeah. Yeah. It's something they still talk about. Oh, see you, Graham. And man, that Hustlers movie we watched a few years ago.

Still seared in my brain. Yeah, that was, you were campaigning hard for us to watch that. Yeah, thanks for coming over and everything. But maybe we'll just make this once a month instead of weekly. Hey. It's almost like you couldn't hear my sighs of disapproval while we were watching it. We're gonna do that on the

on like the whatever, the WhatsApp synchronized watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm uncomfortable with this. Me too. I like it. Let's keep watching. Yeah, I like it let's keep walking yeah i like it eggplant emoji get it i remember watching too um there was this jeff uh boy i want to say foxworthy but it's not goldblum oh yeah jeff goldblum yeah this this jeff cold bloom movie called the tall guy

oh yeah and there's a very i recall it being a very funny sex scene but i saw it with my parents and it was not fun for me no like they're like pounding on the piano and the piano is making piano noises that's pretty good that's also known as music do you wish do you wish someone would say something in those moments to break the tension or is it just going to like do you think there's anything anyone could do to make that situation like okay i think if a dog came in the room that would probably alleviate a lot of the tension started humping something oh man even the dog's doing it now no it's not like i remember my parents like jokingly covering my eyes during one of those one of the 50 movies we saw that had nudity in it in the theater

oh i never saw one in the theater that had nudity. That, like, you can't leave. Like, if you're sitting on the couch, you can at least be like, I'm going to go to my room and look at that picture of the women in the back of the truck. And it's huge, too. When you're watching a movie with someone in the theater and there's an uncomfortable part, it's a gigantic image of that uncomfortable thing. Yeah, that's true. it's a gigantic image of that uncomfortable thing yeah yeah that's true when i saw brown bunny with my parents and chloe seven ye blows vincent gallo for real that was the tagline of

of the movie blows him for real yeah real see you with your parents on their 50th anniversary yeah because the fear is is that if there's a sex scene and you get up and walk out the people are like uh-huh gotta relieve a little tension hey but that's what happened to me when i was a kid we were all my whole family five people on a double mattress in the basement watching saturday night fever and there was some sort of sex scene or awful something and then i had so much anxiety that i went up to my room and grabbed archie then walked back down to the steps and read my archie near my family until the sex scene was over then i walked back into the bed. That is a long sex scene. Yeah. But I was,

I remember being filled with anxiety. I was like, what is going on? This is not good. Yeah. I've even, I've watched it recently and I think it inspired some anxiety in me. There's a lot of very from that era kind of language and things that are

going on. Yeah. It's a, it was based on a on a magazine article so saturday night fever yeah it was called like the really yeah the ritual of saturday night or something i think it was in rolling stone or oh holy shit i was only looking that up because i watched a movie called perfect which is jamie lee curtis and John Travolta. And it's all about, um, uh, aerobics. And,

uh, that was based on a Rolling Stone article. And then I was reading up other ones and yeah, Saturday Night Fever was like, that was the basis of a movie. Wasn't, um, uh,

adaptation was based on. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh really? Yeah, man.

The, the orchid thief by Susanan orlean shit man i don't read you don't read articles oh man nah i got a dq coupon book in the mail the other day i'm pretty stoked about that that'll that'll be about 82 words that go into my brain i have the dq app so it's like i'm reading every day i get the morning dq delivered to my door every morning oh you have the app i really do i wasn't i wasn't joking around man oh you got it can you order in advance with that and then go pick up whatever you want i don't know do you get to use the priority hat which is a little dip cone hat that you get to wear when you walk in and they go, he's ordered first.

Let the king enter. So this hat is a king, a crown. Yeah. And just so you guys know, Burger King on the DQ app, you can get Orange Julius. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, that's pretty good. But only from your registered. Yeah. You got to be here and cool zones. Yes, absolutely. A both. Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good. But only from your registered Brazier and Cool Zones.

Yes, absolutely, both. Yeah. Wow. Dave, what's going on with you besides this DQ app? I mean, that's always going on with me. It's funny we were talking about 90s movies because in the last week i watched three 90s movies um and two of them were movies i had never seen before but always i was kind of curious about and one of them was a movie i saw in the theater and i was like i loved this movie i want to see

it again so the two movies i had never seen before were Sneakers. Okay. Tom Hanks? No. Robert Redford and... It's like Danny... Dan Aykroyd? Yes.

Sidney Poitier. Wow. River Phoenix. They're doing a heist. Nice. And it always seemed really cool, and it's fine. It's one of those where I remember thinking, oh, this looks really cool,

but why aren't people telling me it's cool? No one's ever said, you should see Sneakers. Yeah, there's kind of like a whole category of movies that are for their era are not bad but they're not great so they're just like movies that kind of existed just like now there's like not great movies that just come and go but there's most of what movies are and they're like hacking into uh it's like very muddy whatever the idea is they're hacking into government stuff and it's like yeah but though if it falls into the hands of the bad guys then then we got to keep it out of the hands of the bad guys oh but the government is the bad guy yes good yes

uh the next one i watched was out of sight george clooney and jennifer lopez from hustlers yeah and it's uh that's one that it's like a crime caper and it was like i remember people loved it and i i just never got around to seeing it and it's fine yeah it's yeah i feel the same way it's like she the thing that was big at the time is she was fairly new to acting and everybody said like she was the star of that movie so that was like the big oh the big well it's got it's got so many like it's got jennifer lopez and george cluny and they're so good looking like it's they it's nice to look at them. Yeah, that's right.

And then it's got so many like, uh, supporting actors that are the greatest. It's got Steve Zahn. It's got Luis Guzman. Oh, nice. It's got Catherine Keener. Nice. And they're so great, but they don't have anything to do. Like they're, they're all in just

like one scene and yeah i wish it was more of them doing crazy things there was a like i watched uh for some reason i watched captain phillips again and uh katherine keener's in it for one scene where she's driving with tom hanks to the airport and like was she just like are they buddies and she just stopped by the set one day and they were like, Hey, do you want to do this? You want to be my wife in this movie? Yeah.

We're just going to shoot one scene. Sure. Yeah, sure. Okay. Um, and then, so those were fine.

And then the movie I, I had never seen those before, but the movie I had seen when I was in high school and I loved it when I was in high school. I it's like, I'm the, when I was in high school and I loved it when I was in high school. It's kind of like the reverse sneakers where I always said this was the greatest movie of all time. Why doesn't everyone agree with me? It was a Johnny Depp movie called Nick of Time. Oh, was that filmed in real time? Wasn't that the thing?

Yeah, it was paced out in real time. He has 90 minutes to assassinate the governor uh and the like clock is ticking as the movie goes on and i remember when the the tv show 24 which is like 24 hours of this plot and every episode is one hour i was like oh it's like nick of time no why isn't anyone talking about nick of Time's influence on 24? You've got the Nick of Time t-shirt, big poster in your room. And I watched it,

because it was on TV, on one of my cable channels. Yeah. And I was like, I would love to see this again. It does not, I don't know if it, I think I would, it would be unfair to say it doesn't hold up i just don't think it was very good to begin with yeah i like uh there's certain movies i

won't go back and watch because i'm afraid i'm very afraid that they're bad uh but i loved them at the time uh do you have something like that eric um i have like yes i did that with howard the duck i when i was a kid i would walk around the video store and i'd be like oh my god that looks so sick in that voice does look good it looks fucking good it does look good yeah and it's the most cruel thing of that era which is like they made something for kids but then it's not for kids at all so then you get tricked yeah um and then and then i watch howard the duck and it's pretty bad it's pretty bad yeah um there's a scene in it where there's a duck with uh with breasts yeah that's at the very beginning because um he when he gets hit by the comet or lightning or some

shit like that he goes through a bunch of walls yeah i mean i like the puppetry and the duck world it's all very cool i'll probably re-watch i'll probably trick myself in a year and go like oh my god duck world yes please and then be like this movie's two and a half hours long and has long stretches of dramatic dialogue what the hell is going on just give me duck world show me a duck factory where they make little duck something toilets or something i don't know yeah howard the duck is a good one because when i was a kid i thought it was the best it was the best of the best i thought it was so good yeah that's so funny um this nick of time i was like i don't remember what i loved about it

because well like the only things i was like waiting for the one scene i remember that christopher walken kicks uh johnny depp in the crotch so hard that johnny depp has to go to the bathroom and barf as you do and that's like how many minutes of the film are used on this about 89 and the last minute is him just just making peace with the fact he's not gonna kill the governor uh he's got to try to kill the governor And then but like So at the beginning of the movie It's Christopher Walken and his partner They need to find someone Who's going to kill the governor

For them So they take Johnny Depp's Daughter And they're like kill the governor Or we kill your daughter But as they're like Figuring out They're like in the

train station trying to pick out which person should we get to try to kill the governor uh they're about to get this couple and then they hear that they're french they hear them speaking french and they're like oh well we can't we can't use them these guys would go to such lengths to avoid hiring a killer yeah and like they have to babysit johnny depp the whole time they're like christopher walken is never more than 10 feet away from johnny just like you're gonna be on every hidden camera in the hotel you're like that's right who's this guy that was hanging around the killer all the time and like kicking him in the balls so he barfed but the funniest thing was uh christopher walken's partner when they're they see the french couple she says oh french people

they copy our blue jeans but when we need their help in kuwait where are they so specific yeah and like a fair trade-off oh man yeah so don't watch nick of time is the takeaway i mean boy it's still like i don't think re-watching it can kind of knock it out of place in my mind as a great movie. Right. Still worth seeing. It's probably, boy, it probably should have gotten a lot of the money that 24 got. Yeah.

A little more of the publicity. Yeah. Johnny Depp. It's good to go back and see Johnny Depp playing a person. Instead of some weird mustachioed bizarro world. Yeah, cartoon man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When do you think he'll ever return to that? Do you think he'll ever just do a dramatic role?

I guess he has dabbled in it over the years, but mostly it's just been... They're redoing Rudy, and he's gonna be rudy he's gonna be a 55 year old uh college football player and then like when the coach says you can't do it everybody agrees like you're too old you're too you're i don't want to see that something happen to you buddy yeah exactly you're so drunk right now That's a pretty good idea for a movie. Somebody who goes back to school after having a career and then them trying to get on the football team. And it's Johnny Depp and like,

he's got like a regular football uniform on, but also just like so many rings and bracelets. Bracelets. Like a leather cuff. Yeah. They yeah they go hey rudy if you want to play football you got to take off the the small elegant chain that is uh connecting your arm bracelets to your choker constantly choking himself doing daily chores an elegant chain we're gonna do a sneak play here rudy can you please take off your jangly jewelry oh man uh i think that johnny dev would like also eat something weird like on set like a

clam chowder before before doing a a whole scene? Before doing his lines. Yeah, so he gets the right sheen on him. He gets kind of a grease. Yeah, he keeps talking about a youthful sheen that you get by drinking warm clam chowder before set, before your scene. He's just got it

in one of those, like, power shake things that have the ball in it to keep it nice and... No chunks, just sauce. Just sauce, yeah. in one of those like uh power shake things that have the ball in it even nice and gross no chunks just sauce just sauce yeah oh man that's good what's going on with you graham well speaking of all things movie i feel like this is the the ongoing theme uh there's i haven't been doing anything the only thing i did was i watched back to back

one movie that i've seen like a thousand times and then one movie that i've only seen once i watched terminator and terminator 2 and terminator 2 like you need to know that there was a terminator 1 because it's so good and they kind of tell you what it is you know that's the one you've seen once the first one is the one i've seen once turner uno and uh it's fine it's fine like it's you know like at the there's just at points where it's obviously the robot is like claymation and it's very hilarious because they they just kind of had that same uh special effect since king kong like it's a king kong and then they just kind of had that same uh special effect since king kong like it's a king kong and then they just kept doing it through the all the way up to like the late 80s and then all of a sudden

they figured out like you know animatronics and computer stuff so uh it's good like it's good for its time but the second one's like so amazing uh and so, yeah, I went back and watched because I like I thought I watched it maybe when I was a kid and was like, yeah, this is so good. And yeah, watching it as an adult. It's good. It's very well done. As long as you get past the fact that it's like claymation robots. The first one? Yeah.

The first one. Yeah. Yeah. I never saw the first one. And I only saw the second one once on first one yeah yeah i never saw the first one i and i only saw the second one once on vhs oh yeah and then i saw that it was on a couple days ago uh i we probably watched it at the same time yes yeah and it was graham and i have the same there's these great channels that are one channel is old movies one channel'ss one channels 90s one channels 2000s movies

whoa that sounds amazing yeah so you can catch a double feature yeah you can see sneakers you can see out of sight you can see nick of time yeah yeah yeah maybe i will watch nick of time because i do have those channels do you see ads too do you have to watch it with ads no there's no ads what yeah just uh it's called hollywood sweet um but yeah like uh terminator 2 it's funny because like terminator 1 is fine terminator 2 kicks the most ass in the world terminator 3 is awful 4 is awful 5 is awful 6 is awful but 7 is great 7 they really turn it around but like maybe it's just a one movie thing maybe that's it only it only has enough juice for one film not uh not it's not a dynasty or a saga like star wars right um or avatar oh yeah avatar he's like gonna come out with

three avatars all in a row or something? He was supposed to already have done it. We're waiting with bated breath. He spends a lot of time going down to Rex in the sea, so that eats up a lot of his movie-making time. Rex in the sea? I thought you meant R-E-X, like a dinosaur that's underwater. Not to be confused with rex in the city oh and they're getting back together minus samantha why why bother

no comment are we supposed to all go around and comment on that no no you're right it's you know what it's a sensitive time and i just want to be with my family and watch sex in the city too it's the opposite of terminator that sequel is so bad uh and the first one is pure magic everybody knows it um speaking of dinosaurs uh sometimes on the show we recall dreams that we had i had a crazy dream that i remembered which i don't always do uh i had a dream that i would need a theme song for our dreams uh i don't know aaron would you come up with a theme song for dream i'm not i'm not i'm not pipping anyone i'm sure maybe i'll do it oh god um here we go here we go okay

that's it that's perfect that's right time do you want a dream no i want to talk about the dream that's it that's perfect that's right i can't believe you just came up with that uh that's fantastic thank you so much that's my day job just corporations have me locked in an office room and then they come in and they go sing us a jingle i'll give you a sandwich and then i do that so i'm good at it i start at 4 p.m. every day when I wake up. Something for waffles. Give me something for waffles. English muffins.

Come on. That's pretty close. It's hard to come up with two original songs about something that's pretty close. I had a dream that I was working on a farm, and one of the animals that was on the farm were raptors and I had let them out of their paddock and everyone's very mad at me because the raptors started attacking the horses. It's like a horrifying dream, but like you're feeling throughout it is, oh no, everyone's mad at me. Yeah, everybody's mad at me yeah everybody's mad at me because i let these raptors out

uh but i like i woke up feeling like that feeling like oh i've done something really bad i was like oh no that that was just the raptors in the paddock that couldn't have been real i'm gonna get fired can i tell you a another boring dream i had oh yes please okay um so i was in the like i guess the front of a store like not the lobby but like they had like a couch where you could wait at the front of a store okay and um i was with um abby and a friend of abby's and they were uh both of them were waiting for them to bring out their sweatshirts oh yeah they had bought sweatshirts at the store but they had to get them from the back but we'd already paid for them it was just a matter of and so the whole dream we're just sitting there waiting. And then I, uh, but I've already bought my thing. I've already got a bag with what I bought.

And what I had bought was, uh, like a, uh, basically a shirt, but just the collar buttoned up and the top part of the sleeves attached. And then it buttons up around the, uh, the cuffs. So like a Chippendale kind of situation yeah like a Chippendale thing but with a with a sleeve attached and it was to wear

over top of another shirt to keep it in place oh that's amazing yeah it was like shirt garters or something fantastic that's more that's more elaborate than the average dave schumacher dream but uh yeah it is it is yeah you designed you designed a whole gordon gattrell but i will say a boring dream because it was just about waiting for someone to bring you out of your sweatshirt

um should we move on to a bit of business yeah let's do that hey everybody it's a jumbo time we're not talking elephants no no no jumbotron is what we're doing do you think it's dumbo do you think jumbo and Dumbo are the same thing? But isn't there like a Jumbo video in my hometown of Calgary and it had an elephant on the logo? Just let me Google the words Jumbo and elephant. Yeah, 20 million results. So I guess, yeah. This message is for Simon from Briony happy 40th birthday

to Simon thanks for being such a wonderful friend kind father excellent husband and upstanding member of our family all our love Briony Milo and Sullivan that's a lot that's quite a hyphenate he's got going on there friend father

husband dancer singer yeah tinker taylor grandma got bad news what brianie oh brianie sorry sorry everybody mm-hmm well we botched that one. And yet, happy 40th birthday to Simon. Welcome to the 40 Club. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll have a lot of fun here. You'll find that you make a noise every time you get off the couch.

Graham and I both turned 40 last year, and we are having midlife crises. It's true. We bought Mazda Miatatas and i ordered a sex doll we ordered sex dolls because it's a universal experience of turning 40 and having a midlife crisis um so i keep my sex doll in my mazdaata. Cool. Dave, you bought a Purdy's franchise, right, at a mall? That was your... I bought a Purdy's franchise at a mall, yeah.

So every day I'm there you can get the pre-made chocolates, but I mean, you're a fool if you go to a Purdy's in the mall and you don't get the ice cream bar dipped in chocolate and then rolled in nuts. Yeah, and once a month

we let somebody go in with their shirt and use it as a scoop to get as much chocolate out of the chocolate fountain uh as they as they can it's a promotion uh uh well thank you uh simon happy birthday simon and uh you know take care of. And if you out there want to buy a Jumbotron for a beloved so-and-so, you can go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. Well, back to the show. Welcome back to Fireside Chat on KMAX. With me in studio to take your calls is the dopest duo on the West Coast, Oliver Wong and Morgan Rhodes. Go ahead, caller.

Hey, I'm looking for a music podcast that's insightful and thoughtful, but also helps me discover artists and albums that I've never heard of. Yeah, man, sounds like you need to listen to Heat Rocks every week. Myself and I'm Morgan Rhodes and my co-host here, Oliver Wong, talk to influential guests about a canonical album that has changed their lives. Guests like Moby, Open Mic Eagle, talk about albums by Prince, Joni Mitchell and so much more. Yo, what's that show called again? Heat Rocks, deep dives into hot records. Every Thursday on Maximum Fun. dives into hot records every thursday on maximum fun overheard a segment where uh if you uh you know get out of the house at all these days and you hear something fun send it into the podcast we we want to we want to experience

them and uh we always like to start with the guest aaron do you have an overheard or something you've overseen i do have an overheard um i went to the art gallery at the local uh vancouver art gallery and uh the the greeter at the door was kind of like a boomer aged uh woman She was very nice, but loved to give you tips and stuff like that. Like I walked up and she was like, if you stick around for a half an hour more, it's free day because it's Tuesday. And I was like, I'm pretty sure it's Wednesday.

And then she was like, well, last night was Monday night football. So it's Tuesday. And I was like, okay. And then I got my ticket for the, for the art gallery.

And then my overheard is that as i was walking into the art gallery i heard one of the employees talk to the greeter and be like so um yeah you're getting really close to people so try not to do that and also try not to make comments about people's hair and clothes it seems like you're doing that a lot and it uh you could offend someone and that's as i was walking away so i was like oh that's a rough that's a rough first day that's a real dressing down a real dressing down but she was very like it was i think it was like her first day she's like you got it not going to talk about people's physical appearances and i woke back off yeah and you know what i might even admit that it's wednesday yeah

i love that they're like nope monday night football was last night so it's tuesday on that i mean i'm curious how both can be true maybe monday night football was last night and today's wednesday oh yeah that's true it's one of those uh paradoxes yeah it's you know schrodinger i do i do love it when someone is convinced of something and they haven't taken them i've done this they haven't taken the moment to like think about it in like a context that's not their own like energy trying to like get that information out there as fast as possible no it's it's tuesday so because last night was monday night football yeah so uh anyways see you soon see you on your uh way out uh i know it's not wednesday because i would be eating all you could eat wings right now so can't be

Wednesday um Dave do you have an overheard yes I do um this one is oh yeah so uh in the uh at for for stocking stuffers we got the girls these kind of um they were minion uh bath bombs okay and so they were like these these little like uh test tubes filled with yellow bath bomb and the minions on the label and then you go in the bath and you pour water into the test tube and they overflow with like yellow foam and uh we we got them one each so they it happened over two baths and it just turns the water yellow so it looks like they're in a bath filled with minion piss and so uh i was telling abby afterwards was like it looked like a bath full of minion piss. And the next time they had a bath, they used another one.

And I guess that Margo had overheard me say that. Yes. Because she put foam all over her face and she said, Look at me. I look like I have a minion piss beard. That's amazing. I was like, we say P we say,

you can say minion P beard, but it's the first you you'll never forget the first time your kid uses the word piss. It's uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. Yeah. Yeah. You can say P a thousand times and it's fine.

Yeah. But piss is like whoa what is this it's like married with children unacceptable I've got a minion piss beard get me a cold one dad yeah they grow up so fast you know what good shout out to the minions yes you think it would be yellow and blue and then it would make a green some sort of green oh yeah yellow and blue like their color of their

overalls and glasses yeah like when i picture a minion they're always in those overalls and they're always blue so that's true yeah so manufacturers of minion related products remember the second color forget the blue all right some people are out here wishing some of it was blue yeah i hear those people um my overheard is thanks to a couple of gents sitting at the bus stop, which I haven't seen a bus in a while. So I don't know if that line is still continued, like if it's has service, but two guys chatting away.

And at one point, and I don't know, I don't know how this guy was meaning it, but he said to his friend, you can't buy a new Oldsmobile. I was like, is that his expression for like, well,

you can't buy a new Oldsmobile. You can't teach an old dog new trick. Yeah. Or if his friend was like, I'm going to buy an Oldsmobile. And he was like, well, you can't get a new Oldsmobile.

They went out of business 15 years ago. I remember when Oldsmobiles, like, every other dad on the street had an Oldsmobile. Yeah, my dad had an Oldsmobile. Did he? Yeah. It seems like a very, like, that was just the car that was on offer to dads.

Was it a station wagon? The one that I remember was like a, like, it looked like a rectangle and had a gigantic trunk and uh they were black there was quite a few of them in my neighborhood uh yeah i had a friend who got his oldsmobile from his dad and it was the coolest it was the coolest teen car that you could have because it made you look like a basically a drug dealer if you were a kid driving around an oldsmobile drug dealer kid hitman these are the things what do drug dealers look like now um because i remember when i was a teenager it was like i the like the only people

who had beepers or pagers were drug dealers and doctors so like that was the idea if there if you have a right pager and you're not a doctor you're a drug dealer i feel like people that you know that thing that's one wheel and then it has kind of a platform to people to stand on i feel like that's a drug dealer like a hoverboard thing yeah like if not a hoverboard but it's like one yeah sir yeah and they're on either side of the wheel i feel like that's a drug dealer that's true you can get mushrooms on the internet you can do they come to the uh do they come to in the mail yeah i ordered them off a website and then they were mailed to me by just some guy cool Cool. So you had to give some stranger your address?

I had to give some company my address and then some guy named like Tony or something just sent me them in the mail. I bought something at a store the other day, but I bought it online and so I went to pick it up and the store was closed or it was locked

because all the people in the store were out front, um, watching a guy get arrested. Oh, and I think that guy was, was, he was in like a Louis Vuitton tracksuit,

uh, and had a bunch of face tattoos. I think he might be a drug dealer. He might be a drug dealer. Yeah. I feel like if you have, um, more than one gold tooth,

if you have like a series of gold teeth, uh, that, that could be it. This is kind of like Jeff Foxworth. You might be a drug dealer. Yeah. Now, we also have overheards sent in from people all over the world. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy

at maximumfund.org. This first one comes from Tim I in Tacoma, Washington. Home of the Tacoma Dome. Mm-hmm. Okay, so he sets the scene. I love this. It's San Francisco, 1987, where I worked as a waiter at the front room on 9th and Judah.

This is really Tacoma-specific. Wow. It was famous for its Chinese barbecue pork and chicago style deep dish pizza cool the best combination the best restaurants are known for those two things yeah um one uh fall afternoon i was serving a lunch special and he goes on about the lunch special i'm not going to read all the lunch it's what goes on and on for quite a while well give us a taste okay personal pizza salad and non-alcoholic beverage for 5.99 oh yeah oh you know yeah not not bad i mean in 1987 that was oh yeah yeah that's true you gotta do you gotta do some backwards math um so uh as i

cleaned her plate silverware and glass i noticed she she left behind a two inch wide by six inch long piece of paper. And on the front, it said celery, mineral, mineral water, chicken breast, tuna. And on the reverse, it said in large letters read Uncle Bud is vulnerable. Wow. Yeah. that's awesome yeah that is awesome maybe it's just like a woman who can't remember that he's vulnerable yeah sure maybe uncle bud is is vulnerable to mineral water tuna chicken breast and celery don't buy those things yeah i mean it's like she's making an egg or a tuna salad chicken salad mineral water hybrid soup mineral water in 1987 is like she she that's very hip yeah i mean rich i mean i don't yeah i don't know if it's like hip or rich or just like, you know, health food. Oh yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, I, you know, like I can eat a seafood and the,

if I could, the last thing I would eat in the world was canned tuna is it seems that just seems like cat food to me. Yeah. Smells weird. Looks weird. I know it is a weird, and yet it's probably maybe not anymore

but there was a definitely a time in my life where it was the seafood i had eaten the most really yeah i guess because it's like easy for lunches and stuff like that i've made a lot of tuna sandwiches yeah yeah nice it's a company from the recent yeah recently yeah it's so cheap there's a lot of dolphin in it, too. As someone who can't eat seafood, would you be able to eat dolphin? They're mammals, right? Yeah. Yeah, I think so.

I'm allowed to eat. I can eat any mammal. I've had some chimpanzee. I've had some grizzly bear. Mostly endangered species. Sure. I ate one of the last dodos that's not a mammal well yeah sure they are

it's the one bird that births its out of its cloaca yes okay this next one comes from Jesse in Wheatley Ontario my son has grade 10 drama on zoom oh i tell me about it i got great trend and drama over here

trying to get my driver's license and get a date to the junior prom oh you mean the class? Never mind. Go ahead. So my son has a great-time drama on Zoom, and they were assigned to read a children's book. He comes and tells me, laughing, his friend is struggling reading the book. Then all proud, he says, I read my book all fast and good, just like Eminem.

Which is actually historically accurate. When Eminem first finished his first verse, Dr. Dre was producing the album and he pressed the button and he said, Eminem, that was fast and good. It was fast and good. It would blow a 10th grader's mind.

Yeah. Let's print it. You made it fast, but it's also good? Yeah. I was reading my children's book, Forgot About Dre, by Margaret Wise Brown. And this last one comes from Andrea, Parts Unknown. I work in an operating room and some of the surgeons like to listen to music while they work. Just as we were about to start

the surgery, I asked the surgeon what kind of music he wanted that day. And he said to me Oh, how about some Roy Orbison? And then said to himself Everyone loves Roy Orbison That was a callback to a couple weeks ago where we wondered if everyone's anyone's favorite

well it's a surgeon's favorite it is weird to think that uh when whenever you have surgery that they're like listening to music and probably also talking about boring stuff while they're doing it yeah they're just like yeah talking about like i wish i could get a new oldsmobile and somebody being like nah it's too bad they discontinued that you know what was a good movie a nick of time did you ever see that we could be surgeons yeah um uh what who's your favorite wilbury traveling or otherwise aaron my favorite well i listened to lots of traveling wilburys growing up. So, because my dad listened to it.

Just for the listener, Aaron had his microphone in a stand this whole time. But this, for this question, he took his mic out of his stand. I took my mic out. And it's a stand-up style. Roy Orbison is probably my favorite Wilbury. He's such... Really? Roy Orbison is probably my favorite Wilbury.

He's such... Really? Yeah, because you meet Bob Dylan and Tom Petty and John Lovitz and you... Or whatever. John... George Harrison. And... The fourth Beatle, John Lovitz. The quiet one.

Because it's like you meet the gang it's like oh okay it's like a bunch of dudes and then this is how i imagine you would meet or erbison like you meet the rest of travin wolberry's outside their house they all live in a house together and you're like hey just a group of guys that's nice and then they're like you got to meet the fourth guy i'm like what and then you point to like an attic window and then he's just there with shades on and he's like oh yeah so you know this house is haunted and it's by a guy who's still alive yeah it's haunted by a guy who's still alive oh boy uh i imagine he's the one that like when they're all playing poker in the house together that they live in, like he'll do a riff and it never lands. Oh, he does like a hilarious, this is going to kill it.

Yeah. And it just dies every time. Yeah. It's just like a really sad thing. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also, you did three? Yep. We also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us,

our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people have. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Brent from Georgia. Just calling in with an overheard.

This is the kids say the darndest variety. Last week, we were sitting at dinner and my 13-year-old son looked at me and said, is Vin Diesel and Led Zeppelin the same thing? And I did not know what to say.

I mean, I can totally understand the kid logic at work there. Yeah. Vin Diesel, Led Zeppelin, both have some sort of fuel in them sure and uh and they're like short then like two syllable so you know led zeppelin vin diesel yeah yeah um but i could see like being a kid i totally i i would get that confused if i didn't understand what led zeppelin was i also wouldn't understand what yeah diesel was well because half

of conversations i hear are about vin diesel the other half are about led zeppelin so but they never they never say them both they're never in the same conversation that's right and never in the same room at the same time so make of that what you will they're the same thing all right here's your next phone call hey dave graham and possible guest this is rob calling in overheard from a few years ago i worked at a college dining hall and we had a small dessert section every day this day we happen to have pound cake, fruit, and some whipped topping. I watched two guys walk up to the table and one turns to the other and says

Ugh. Whipped topping. Absolutely shameful. Thanks. What? Off I go. Yeah, no. Whipped topping rules. Whipped topping's the best. I mean, is whipped topping different than whip cream? I think whip topping is like when you get it out of a can and it's like oil-based.

And they're literally not allowed to call it cream. Yeah. Yeah. But I mean, like, I definitely prefer whip cream. Sure. But if you got whip topping, you know it's i mean if you're a someone who's college aged you shouldn't be thinking whip topping is absolutely shameful yeah exactly like what you're eating have some fun yeah exactly you're only going to be in college once drink as much whip topping as you want

i did like it when it was a very unique, like it doesn't taste like whipped cream. It's got its own weird taste and it's always shaped like the tube it comes out of. Yeah. Which is a toothpaste tube. What's your favorite cafeteria dessert? Oh, that's a good question.

That's a great question. I'm going to vote for chocolate pudding with whip topping yeah i'll take whip topping on that and maybe even a little bit of fruit on top of that why not i'm gonna go with jello oh jello classic cafeteria topping uh i'm gonna go go uh soft serve oh no that's on ferries. Maybe once a year at school they would bust out some soft serve. I'd like some sort of pie.

Some sort of pie if they had a pie. Nice. Do they have pies? They might have pie. They might have a baked bar, a brownie or a Naimo bar. Like a jelly, gelatin-y pie. Like a lemon meringue or something like that jelly gelatiny pie like a lemon meringue or something like that

they would absolutely have a lemon meringue marone oof meringue here's your final word hey Dave hey Graham hey sunny guests this is Lainey calling from Omaha Nebraska with an overheard

it's December 23rd and I was just at the post office. It was pretty busy, but everybody was behaving themselves, and I'm standing in line to set the package, and I finally get up to the front, and the woman in front of me who is, I'd assume, like 25 years old, very capable, and she comes up to the counter with her package. And she says, very confused and very frazzled, I need this to go somewhere else.

What do I do? And the postwoman looks her in the eyes and after about five seconds says, welcome to the post office ma'am and it was such an excellent burn so shout out to USPS workers for being funny

and taking care of all of our package in this crazy time I like everything about that I like that a person went in there with only a vague understanding of how shipping works. I need this to go somewhere. Two days before Christmas.

Do you have Santa's phone number? No. Yeah, no store has it. It's crazy. Yeah, it's crazy. So you guys don't have it. All right. I do like TV commercials where Santa is just shopping at a store yeah yeah that's like a standard just getting stuff at

london drugs be quiet kid who sees me in the aisle yeah exactly i'm buying pull-ups they might be going to you that's a Christmas present I got you some Iron Man pull-ups yeah exactly they've got Lightning McQueen on them oh boy well that brings us to the end of this here episode Aaron you

and the whole Sunday Service gang are still doing your show online every week. Where can people find it? We have a YouTube channel. I think if you just go on YouTube and you type Sunday Service Improv, it should come up. But yeah, we do a show every Sunday at 9 p.m. PST. And yeah, it's just on our YouTube channel. We just stream it every Sunday at nine.

Nice. And of course, Sunday service, one of the best improv groups in all of this great country. Yeah. I'd say in all of the world. Yeah. In all the world. Yeah. I haven't seen one better.

So I haven't seen one better except on the moon. Yes. so i haven't seen one better except on the moon yes yeah it was pluto nash and his friends uh do you have anything else you want to plug aaron or is that no that's good yeah that's like the the comedy that's all the comedy stuff going on right now for me what movie are you going to watch tonight? Good call. Tonight. Or tomorrow morning.

Yeah, tonight at 4 a.m. I've had my eye on Mimic. Yes. What's Mimic? I think it's some sort of, or Sphere. Some sort of alien. I want to watch something where an alien comes in some sort of math shape. Who's in Mimic? I couldn't tell you off the top of my head.

Miro Sorvino? Yeah. What about, have you seen Arrival? Oh, yeah, where the alien and the person learn their language? Yes. Yeah, that one's awesome. Oh, that would be a good one. I saw, do you remember the TV show,

like it was one of the first Fox TV shows that was called Alien Nation? Yes. Yeah. And it was about these aliens with big alien heads that just assimilated into America and they were just living in the suburbs. But on those movie channels, they had the movie Alien Nation that I didn't know existed starring James Caan and an alien. And I was gonna watch it but then I heard the guy who who created it was a creep so I didn't watch it

yeah you gotta have standards well thank you everybody so much for listening to the show hopefully you're taking care of yourself and those around you and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org

Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.