Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 686 - Paul F. Tompkins

Episode Date: May 11, 2021

Comedian Paul F. Tompkins returns to talk Bjork, power washing, and a bread cartoon. Plus, it’s week 2 of MaxFunDrive 2021. Support the show here.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 686 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who always, always has a cold mug in his freezer. It's Mr. Dave Shumka. I do always, I mean not right now. Oh that's true. I took it out to drink out of.

And I like it because if I leave my drink long enough it turns into a slushy um i'm having graham i'm having a real hard time focusing today i woke up this morning and i was like oh i'm very tired and then i just never got a hang of the day like i was like okay what do i what work do i need to do today? What's the easiest things I can do? Because I cannot keep my attention for more than about two minutes. And then I got a little bit better as the day went on. I was like, okay, this afternoon I'll go for a walk, clear my head.

It helped a little bit. And then they're tearing down the house next door. Yes. But they only apparently start at three in the afternoon. Perfect. Because I think maybe they're school children. Yes, they got home from school. And so now they seem to be ripping out the basement right across from where I am.

Well, you can't hear it. Well, I mean, that's great. Yeah. But in terms of my ability to focus. So, we'll just keep, I'll just keep engaging you to make sure that you stay focused every two minutes or so. Hmm. Dave. Dave.

What? Dave. Okay. Our guest today. Before we get to the guest, I just want to mention. I know I did a thing where I already did a thing. But I wanted to mention this is week two of the Max Fun Drive

and this is the we take two weeks out of the year to bring our best guests back our fan faves and our own faves and to showcase the show for as many ears as possible

and if you want to support the show we as many ears as possible. And if you want to support the show, we want you to head over to MaximumFun.org slash join. Dave, you paid attention to that the whole time. You didn't look around the room or anything. You were laser focused. So I think things are looking up. Okay.

Our guest today, one of our all-time favorite guests uh you can hear him on his two podcasts freedom and stay f homekins uh one of the all-time greats paul f tompkins guys i sound like this now is that gonna be weird no it's cool i'm fine with it i got punched in the neck front or back both it was a double punch these guys planned this out to the second it was two guys it was two guys and a third guy got it on video mortifying worldstar.com what what is that again worldstar.com it's always uh somebody like fighting in a restaurant or in a parking lot and the thing to yell is worldstar.com because that's where you're going to

upload it for the for society to see it yeah just why world does like youtube not allow it i think it goes against their community standards no it does not i've seen plenty of fights on youtube okay uh i want to back away from that position one of my favorite things on youtube is uh halloween pranks gone wrong where someone dresses up as a scarecrow or something like that or pops out of a trash can and then they're met with a punch in the face it's really funny yeah those are great um i watched a video today that i knew i knew it was fake until the last second when it wasn't fake it was a guy who drank a whole can of club soda all in one gulp did you see this yes yeah and then he he didn't do successfully and he was pretending like oh i didn't do it right and then he turned around and ran right into a garage door yes i what happened in the middle i i didn't follow that

maybe it's my focus man i went back and forth on this one whether it was fake or not this this kid says um sure somebody has a whatever i don't even know who he was competing with but can he drink an entire can of sparkling water without burping and then he starts drinking this sparkling water he and he gets like all almost all of it i think and then he says oh no and he's and he like spits them out and he says the best part is he says he says oh my gosh what do i do and then he lets out this gigantic burp and he turns around, he starts running. He turns around,

he runs right into like a half closed garage door. We're half open depending how you look at it. Right? The thing that made it, made it seem real to me was while he's doing the chugging, he changes up his stance. Right. So that's what made it seem like that i mean that kind of detail

is if you if he did that on purpose that's very smart i think yeah um but it but oh no what do i do really really you guys want to get to know us? Yeah, I do. Get to know us. Oh, the throat punch is back. Paul, what is your sparkling water of choice? I don't like it. I don't like it. I don't like plain sparkling water. It's too sodium- too salty um it doesn't

it's not a thirst quencher it feels it just like i don't enjoy that sensation and then the flavor sparkling waters i feel like i would rather just have the full flavor of something than like a hint of a flavor what's the i don't i don't get the point of it. Like, Oh, this almost tastes like lime. It doesn't make sense to me. Lime is so hard to get. So hard to find. Like, well, we'll give you a little taste of it. You little peasants. How do you like this? This is, this is sort of coconut flavored. You'll never be able to find your own lime and put it in water. Yeah. You little pigs. Is this a, does that include club soda or is this just fancy sparkling waters it includes all of it yeah okay all fizzy i'm not i'm not a fan of the of club soda i'm not a fan of you're not a soda stream owner no not a soda stream owner i do like soda pop i like regular

old soda you know i will i try not to drink it that much because it's terrible for you. What's your go-to? My go-to, honestly, is Zevia ginger ale. Oh, okay. So like no sugars. I love it. Yes. I love it.

It's supposedly natural, but I'm sure it causes some other weird sacks to grow on my spinal column. But I still like it. So I'll go down swinging yeah i've only had their version of root beer and i it didn't taste anything like root beer that was my takeaway oh okay yeah okay but the the ginger ale that's what i'll try next i'm open to new sodas all the time sug sugary or not. Thank you. But honestly, nothing beats a cold Coca-Cola in a glass bottle. Yes. That is a mwah.

Yeah. Where do you get that even? You have to go to a novelty shop or you have to get somebody in another country to send it to you? What are Halloween super stores will have it? Spencer's Gifts. Spencer's Gifts. No, you can find it. you can find it in supermarkets oh not the one i go to i guess maybe our supermarket is pretty trash well graham you can get the mexican ones at most mexican restaurants that's the real deal that's the real deal and some supermarkets here have that you can buy

the mexican cokes okay okay well that's uh that's a life lesson that I will carry with me. Man, I hope so, Graham. I hope this is going to be one of those things where you say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll do it, and then you don't do it. No, yeah, I will. I'll show you the damage I've done to my teeth to prove it. Just your tan little shredded teeth. Your khaki teeth. little shredded teeth your khaki teeth i've been watching some movies from the 80s and it's a remarkable how how many people have the beige teeth that wait i'm sorry what this is a movie

this is a lot of movies from the 80s people seem to have yes yes yes yes absolutely they have like khaki teeth and they never thought it would be they never envisioned people would have high definition televisions do you know who had a truly jacked up grill is screen legend gene kelly if you see old movies with him it's wild like his i don't know if maybe he got them fixed at some point but i can't remember it was either singing in the rain or or american in paris or something where there's i think it's singing in the rain the shots of him smiling and it's like his teeth are messed up and he was a movie star maybe yeah maybe just if the set's big enough behind him that people would be wowed enough

to not look at his chompers i'm that's all'm going to look now is I'm going to sit down, watch Singing in the Rain. I want to see. Got to see him. Got to see him. When you see those, when you see those, oh, it's disgusting. I have not. I was supposed to get my gums replaced. With anything that you could find around the house.

Yeah, a tarp. Last April, that was canceled because of COVID. Now, what is it that you mean by gums replaced for people who might not know? I was going to get, so I have receding gums. They're going to rub some Rogaine on them. They were going to rub some Rogaine on them. And they were going to take what they called a flag, a strip of flesh from the mouth of my mouth.

The peanut butter zone. Where the peanut butter goes, yeah. Yeah, when I'm trying to answer that Aaron Burr trivia question. And I am. By the way, I understood him perfectly. Yeah, me too. Aaron Burr, probably the easiest name to say with a mouthful of peanut butter. Those milk people, once they've moved away from the mustache, they were out of their depth.

You should have won that contest. I agree. He, of course, went on to play a character named Froggert on Lost. Wow. Don't know anything else about him? I that was patrick bristow i think oh maybe i i don't know the gentleman's name he was also in showgirls he was what is he in showgirls oh good question and i recently watched it and i should be able to tell you immediately also i have recently watched it as well he was maybe the assistant to the choreographer when she first oh he's the guy patrick bristow was in seinfeld in the um the uh joseph of the amazing technicolor dream code episode oh yeah he was the like costume man but he is not um aaron the guy i'm thinking of yeah

the guy with equally wild kind of eyes that's all i remember it was sean whalen is that actor's name and he played frogerton lost he played froger and and was he also and and just allow me to google this and you guys can go ahead and vamp. So what else is going on? Oh, you know, I've become a block parent. So that's pretty exciting. What does that mean? Oh, when I was a kid, there was a program. If you were in a neighborhood where you got lost, people would put a sign in their window saying they were a block parent and you could go to them for help and uh it was like a big kids yeah it was a big thing in the in the 80s i

guess yeah yeah update yeah that's him he was in the aaron burr ad and guess which one sean sean Sean Whalen Sean Whalen Okay Irish kid Sean Whalen And he So he That ad Directed by Famous Hollywood Director David Fincher Oh close

Really Yeah David Fincher Michael Bay Michael Bay Why Why Wow When I think peanut butter I guess before he hit it before he hit a pig right i mean he was he was like uh i so i say close because i think it's like it was it's like a um

back in the day when they were video directors right music video directors they said that michael bay was like like david fincher jr well like what was the guy that uh which david fincher's son very upset to hear uh yeah mcg who directed charlie's angels yeah so he was just a music video guy that moved on a lot of them did now they're in heaven really like jones's so spike jones michelle g. Yes, that's true. What did he direct a video for? Michelle Gondry directed a video for?

He did all those White Stripes videos. He did the Lego one. He did the... You're going to make me name all Michelle Gondry's videos? Dave's a completist i mean uh i think he probably did a bjork one i don't know and your resume reads they all did a bjork one yeah now paul you know i saw david please you know i saw bjork in person once and she was one of the most stunning people I have ever seen. I take that back.

I saw her in person twice. Wow. One time when I worked at Tower Video and she came in to rent or buy something and she came up to the counter. I can't remember which,

what transaction. Do you have any Jeff Fahey movies? Hi, what's up? Deep cut! But she was just like, it was like seeing a

supreme being of some kind. You know what I mean? If you got to, it was like a glimpse of heaven, honestly. Really? And she was very otherworldly, but she was so she was so compelling like you could not stop looking at her face wow and then the second time i saw her was many years later on the beach in malibu i had a group of friends we would regularly

go on sundays to uh boogie board um nice okay guys get your get your laughs out now we took it very seriously it's like a funny thing someone would say though yeah god i wish there was another term for it boogity boarding somebody wouldn't say their uh alibi in a trial because their alibi is boogie boarding no it was me i murdered that guy fine um so we would go there every sunday one sunday we saw bjork sitting on the beach with a with a guy they were fully clothed and i think what was going on was they were clearly breaking up oh wow it was like it was an intense scene. It was like, oh, we're seeing a famous person break up with their boyfriend. And my one friend could, who was such a star fucker, could not resist going up and saying hello to her. Oh, man.

Because he had like, they knew, they had somebody they knew in common or something like that. And I was, I was, I watched it and i was like no why and he kind of did it like he he kind of was like sort of jogging past and sort of like tossed it out at her and kept going and i don't think she even acknowledged him at all with uh would you ever do that is there a celebrity that you wouldn't be able to control yourself like to go say hello or something. Honestly, the only person I can think of was Harrison Ford. I did some,

um, some show for some thing that doesn't even exist anymore. It was like the movie line magazine, young Hollywood awards. And I did like it. I did. I did like a little comedic bit in the middle of the show and harrison ford was there with um uh what's her name uh calista flockhart thank you and um

after so i was walking out after the show was over and harrison ford was standing there i guess like waiting for her to come out of the ladies room like a regular boyfriend yeah and um i i was like i gotta i gotta do it and i was braced i was braced for how disappointing it was gonna be um and i went up and i said mr ford i just want to say uh uh i just wanted to meet you and say you know how much your work has meant to me over the years and he was very sweet and nice he was like oh thank you very much your bit was very funny and then i ran away the young hollywood awards featuring harrison ford's earring that's what got him in they tried to turn him away and he was like did a carol burnett tucked in his earlobe they're like all right um yeah the uh like yeah i'm trying to think of somebody that i would not i think arnold schwarzenegger if i

saw arnold schwarzenegger i would i'd have to like go and just be part of his world for a second because he's because he's like a cartoon guy your movies have meant so much to me yeah i love him as a politician yes yeah he had great slogans as a politician um how would how do you predict that it would go do you think he would be friendly i think in general he seems like he's very friendly too i think so too yeah i think he i think he is like got his fan thing down yeah he knows how to like give everybody a moment yeah that's uh you're you're somebody that people must come up to and say i'm a fan of your yeah i am and it's i always try to be gracious but it's hard because i'm trying to also be a parent and a grandparent yeah at the

same time what um paul is it like paul same question yeah yeah same question no people i i yeah people have come up to me and it's always nice um i don't i don't think i've ever had an experience like that where it was bad except one time i did a show in god i don't want to say it was like vermont or something i'd never been there before. And it was this, this little, um, uh, bar. Uh,

and it was a really cool experience except after the show is hanging out at the bar. And, um, this guy started talking to me and it started out very nice, but he was kind of drunk. And as it progressed, he,

I think he, he brought up like, uh, this old special that i did and i think he wanted me to agree that it was bad now and i wouldn't do that and he got he got like really bent out of shape about it because i was saying like well i think that's kind of a rude way to put it i don't you know obviously i would do it differently today but i i'm not gonna disown it just because it was from when i was younger and he like would not he would not accept the fact that it was maybe an insensitive question wow wow and then and then completely turned on me to the point where now i was shit and like the show that he just complimented me on was not good. Yeah. I'm taking it back.

You complimented remote. Yeah. But he was drunk. Yeah. You know, what are you going to do? I once had somebody flag me down while I was walking and I went over and talked to them.

I said, how are you doing? And the guy said, oh, awful. My cousin just died. I was like, what?

Why didn't you flag me down? Am I the, am I the only person in the land that will listen to your sorrows dave who is your celebrity that that you would have to approach if you saw them in public i wonder um i don't well get to the part where you've solved it i'm sorry i was dealing with technical issues and i we're all dealing with technical issues dave i'm a robot cut cut that out cut that out i promise not to tell uh it's one of my directives uh for me i guess it would probably be boy who's the guy who played han solo in indiana jones calista flockhart yeah um nobody played

han solo in indiana j Jones There were two different characters No no no He was the president Of the airplane And President of the airplane I was thinking about him today And how

I was like Maybe in the 90s The Fugitive And Airport Air Force One Airport 12 Were my favorite

Like Maybe Harrison Ford were my favorite. Maybe Harrison Ford was my favorite actor in the 90s because of those two movies. But I'm not sure. I haven't seen all the Indiana Joneses. So I'm more of a 90s. Which ones are you missing? I don't think I ever saw the third. Last one you're saying? So third and fourth you have not seen.

I've seen the fourth. Oh, weird. Weird. don't think i ever saw the third last one say third third and fourth you have not seen i've seen the fourth oh weird weird uh big shia labeouf fan yeah but um i don't know who i would have to approach because i like i yeah no i'm i would be too scared i sometimes i see someone that i kind of know that i'm like oh yeah i know this person on the internet and i go to see them live in concert or whatever or at a show and i'm too shy to like talk to them in person and i'm like we know each other yeah but it's someone you've conversed with online yeah yeah and they know me they definitely know me but i'm like they won't remember who i am there's too many people in this room this is bono it's bono me and bono we uh we're on the same uh we follow each other on deviant art where we

we both make uh slenderman uh pictures who uh do you think would be a celebrity that would be an automatic shutdown? Like somebody, okay, like somebody you would like to say hello to. Somebody that would be pleasant to have a moment with, but you know absolutely that would not happen. Yes, like somebody that for sure has maybe even a reputation of being nice, but would really just shut down any contact. I'm having trouble with this person oh i don't understand the question who do you think would be a celebrity that if you approach them would be very uh cutting you off and do not want to talk to you oh sure morrissey now morrissey's a good vote but i wouldn't think

that he'd be fun to go up to i guess no you're right yeah then i really don't understand somebody that would devastate you if you if you love them and you went up and you wanted to say hi i really enjoy your work and they were like oh yeah sorry i'm oh amy adams amy adams oh that's a good one that's a good yeah it seems nicer than amy adams yeah yeah but yeah you see her saying i'm out with friends and thank you and goodbye yeah hmm i'm trying to think of somebody, like, obviously, Tom Hanks would be wonderful. Meryl Streep.

Meryl Streep would probably be great. Yeah, I bet she's got it down, where she knows exactly what to say to people. What about Anne Heche? She seems like somebody really turned you down. No.

No? I don't think she would. I think she would be like, Anne Heche. What about Anne Heche? no no i don't think she would i think she would be like what about anne hayes it was the most disappointing experience i've ever had i saw anne hayes at the grocery store the psycho remake and oh god did you know the story behind that like how uh it was gus van zandt right um and oh wait i got mine i got mine mads mickelson ah that's really good i would be i feel like it would really i would feel really embarrassed if i went up to him and said hey i'm a fan of your work and he was like leave me alone

or he would just be like standoffish in a weird scandinavian cold way i feel like he would just be like standoffish in a weird Scandinavian cold way. I feel like he would just stare at me. Yeah. And then slowly turn away. You were expecting warmth from Mads Mikkelsen? And that's what he would say to me. I was quoting him. Yeah, that's a good one. I think you've nailed it times two.

Thank you. Hey, you're welcome. Thank you for being with us. No, no gram i'm happy to be here thank you for having me thank you for thanking me this feels very nice you're no mads mickelson don't remind me honey hey paul um i've been enjoying both of your podcasts so much this last year we were um for the last year every podcast has moved online and you've managed to have mostly in-person podcasts well yes one very easy because i live with the person yeah and we're trapped together um but the other one uh freedom because uh scott ackerman has a nice big um uh patio area where we can all hang out away from you know at a safe distance from each other

and record it really was um it was really wonderful it was like something to really look that i really looked forward to that i that i knew i was going to see people in person it's still weird though when you can't like, when you can't greet people the way you usually greet them. You know what I mean? And it's like, we're walking around,

like if somebody has to go to the bathroom, we take this big wide circle to walk around them. But I, the other night, went out to dinner for the first time in over a year because me and my wife are both fully vaxxed and we're past the two-week period, so we're in the clear. And another couple friends of ours were in the same situation. And this restaurant that we used to go to all the time, their staff is almost completely fully vaccinated.

So we booked a dinner there and we ate indoors and it was nice to like, we could like hug each other and to sit across a table from each other at a restaurant. And it was still like a lot of the, the, they had, they'd take it out of a bunch of their tables, you know,

so there was still like that spacing thing, but it felt so normal and nice. It was, it was really fantastic. And then I got home and it didn't feel so good. And, uh, then the next day it felt kind of weird all day.

Culminating in last night had the, maybe the worst night of sleep, uh, since I was a baby. I was, I was like fighting off something. I don't know what it was. And I was like, I was waking up every,

what felt like every half hour and having to like turn over. And it was horrible. Absolutely. Are you connecting this to the restaurant or is this just something? Or is it a vaccine? I don't know.

I don't know now today i feel normal today i feel fine my i feel like my fogginess all day is because it's not connected to any other symptom it feels like it's residual like just vaccine stuff where are you guys in the process a little nod to you yeah i'm uh as of so, uh, process, uh, I, as of tomorrow, I have my antibodies for my first AstraZeneca shot. Nice. Um, and there's no, um, indication when I'll get another one. No, really? no really yeah they're like saying uh you're you hear that our supply is so low that they tell you you you know your second shot might be 16 weeks from your first shot jesus is as astrazeneca

one that's exclusive to to you guys up there um america had it and they said no thank you sent it up here yeah they sent it up here because uh you know a lot of blood clot yeah you not a lot yeah but enough to enough to make the news to mention yeah um i haven't got anything yet i i've registered for it and registered with a couple pharmacies and no dice so far so well listen Well, listen, we can all agree that the people that created these vaccines and own the patents,

they should get to decide whenever they want when it should be distributed to the rest of the world. Yeah. And it's, you know what? That's the free market.

And it has a member of the rest of the world, apparently. Yeah, look, hey, if you made a vaccine, wouldn't you want to make money off it? Come on, guys. Let's be real.

I just, the idea that we would somehow be the leaders in making vaccines after... Graham and I? We, Dave and I, we're like Johnson and Johnson. Yeah, we've been making some bathtub pruno vaccine. What if you guys did like, it was like a reese's

peanut butter cup uh sort of situation where you you each were working on a separate vaccine you bumped into each other mixed it together and then a mouse that had covid licks it up it's cured i when i was a kid i loved that story the mouse who had COVID I remember I knew it back to front but I needed to have it read to me every single night up until my first year in college how does it end that story I forget I remember it from my childhood as well oh he dies

he dies an agonizing death his lungs are filled with that's the story you needed every night as you went to bed. And then he died. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I hate mice. I don't know if I should have said that at the time.

I can't stand them. Is that maybe why you had the worst sleep of your night last night? Because you didn't get read that story? Oh, I hadn't connected those dots, but thank you, Dave. And today's your first day of college. That's right was the cutoff right i can't wait till i can wear that mortar board yeah uh for at some point i because i host this show or used to host the show where i gave away uh thrift store prizes on every show you still host it graham let's let's use the present oh okay what is the name of that show again? The Laugh Gallery. The Laugh Gallery. Yeah, I thought you were like,

you posted about it recently, I thought. No, it's just I can't do it because there's no restaurants are open. No, I get that, Graham. Okay, I'm not stupid. Okay, okay. I'm just a little sensitive. That's all. That's on me. Graham, can I be honest with you? Yes. I am stupid. I didn't get it.

But on me. Graham, can I be honest with you? Yes. I am stupid. I didn't get it. But at one point, I went to a thrift store and I got an entire bag of mortar boards. How many in a bag? There was easily 20 or more. So I gave one away each week and I made the person come up, put it on, and then

turn the tassel over. Isn't it funny that something that is so famously square and flat would be in a bag like a bunch of them would be in a bag i would think a box for sure i think it was just somebody who picked them up after the kids threw it in the air with like one of those sticks with a nail on it and just put them all in a bag this is a gold mine i go to graduations every year they throw them in the air no one ever sees them again i sell them to thrift stores i make a dollar but that dollar it adds up yeah but i never i didn't do the mortarboard thing when i even in high school we didn't have. I felt like that was a rip. We did that.

Yeah, we did the tassel turn and all that. Man, that's... I feel like I got ripped off. We didn't even get to wear a military hat. You didn't even get to wear... No, we wore the World War II... Or helmets. World War I.

The German spiky helmet. Oh, the other side. Okay. We threw him in the air and many people perished. Yeah. A lot of, uh, the spikes in the head.

I want to see a video. Like I, I've seen so many, uh, pictures and clips of people throwing the hats in the air. I want to see the video of the people picking the hats and having to like, make sure it's theirs. And there's,

Oh, this is yours. Sorry. Yeah. This one blew over from another graduation ceremony happening down the field. I went to, so when I graduated from college, the,

uh, the graduation ceremony was in June and we finished finished college in april so no like maybe people went i didn't yeah yeah wait wait wait wait what yeah they do they finish in april and then two months later is the yeah that's weird why would anyone go i don't know but maybe people still live there like i just didn't live there i was stupid idiots and then i had my um broadcasting school graduation we we wore the cap and gown no and yeah did not see that coming and i was the only one who threw his his mortarboard in the air you know what? It was funny. I did it to be funny and it was funny.

People laughed. Yeah. There's the place. The two people standing next to me making love to their tonic and gin. Graham, college? Yes or no?

College, yes. But no ceremony. Yes. Uh, but no ceremony. Just, you were done and walked out the door into the, into the world and into not a job and, no job in that field ever since. What was your major?

Uh, broadcast in journalism. And yeah, I never got a job in that field. Now here we are. That's true. Doing some hard hitting journalism. Okay. Yeah. I never got a job in that field. And now here we are. That's true. Doing some hard-hitting journalism. Well, we're broadcasting.

That's true. I mean, I guess podcasting journalism. Yeah. They should really change that program. I'm so mad that that's the name and we're stuck with it. Podcasting? Yes. Yeah.

I feel like. Hey, thanks for coming on the pod, Paul. I feel like it would have caught on a lot sooner if it had a better name yeah i remember when a friend told me about them for the first time and i was like okay you need an ipod and they were like no no no it's just called a pod i'm like but what about it is a pod like if it's not a pod ipod then what do you have to listen to it while you're escaping a an exploding spaceship yeah or air force one when you jump into the presidential cabinet thing and i thought it was for killer whales to listen to

can i tell you i think that they suck killer whales i saw blackfish i saw blackfish i don't think they should be in captivity they're obviously extremely intelligent and emotional creatures but anytime i see a nature documentary they're the biggest assholes they're the worst they're the worst and they're like worse than great white sharks like great white sharks have the bad reputation yeah and i don't give a damn about it but killer whales like we we were watching this um uh uh secrets of the whales on the disney plus channel and they whisper a lot and it's not nice to do that when other companies around well they have no secrets because they're such gossips um but they so the first episode was all about killer whales about orcas and the ending and it's it's extremely

fascinating but at the very end there it's all about this one whale this one orca trying to learn how to snatch a seal off of the beach and so it's all these he keeps trying and trying and trying and finally does it but it's like it takes so long and you know what the ending is going to be and you're like i don't want to see this seal get eaten by this fucking monster why are you dragging this out this is horrible him eating a seal on the beach is their equivalent to bobbing for apples oh it was halloween that's true it was ocean it was ocean halloween he was dressed as the baba duke he was wearing a uh he was dressed as a scarecrow and he was sitting perfectly still and then he went and scared a porpoise

who punched him in the face. Well, we take a lot of local pride in our orcas. This is Orca Town. We,

I don't think, I've never seen them in real life. Have you, Graham? Yeah, I went to the Blackfish place

when I was a kid. Oh yeah, no, I've seen them. No, it was like a very run down. The one in Victoria. I was a kid. Oh, yeah. No, I've seen them. No, it was like a very rundown. The one in Victoria. The one in Victoria.

Oh, yes. Yeah, I saw them at the Vancouver Aquarium, but I've never seen them in the wild the way that some people. You're not a seal. That's all you know from that information. Oh, that's who sees them. They see them up close and personal, believe me. My wife and I went on a whale watching trip when we were visiting Iceland. And we went on this.

The one place you didn't see Bjork. We did go to a restaurant called Snaps, which we were told this is where all the celebrities go. And then when we got there, we realized, well, we don't know any Icelandic celebrities. So we, like the whole time we were there, we're like, we were just judging who looked like a celebrity, who looked like they could be a celebrity in Iceland.

And it was a lot of fun. Could you name a second Icelandic celebrity? Nope. The other members of the sugar cubes? Einar? Or Sigur Rós? the other members of the sugar cubes einar was one of the was one of the sugar cubes yonzi from sigur ross yeah uh i don't know i feel like there's another one that we're missing that but uh i cannot you're probably thinking of di antwoord they're not from iceland graham they just look like they could be yeah you're probably thinking of Die Antwoord. They're not from Iceland, Graham. They just look like they could be. Yeah. You're probably thinking of someone from Greenland.

Yeah. I had a roommate that was obsessed with Die Antwoord, and I couldn't, I was scared of him. After that, after I found out that's what he liked. I still have a roommate who I married to who's obsessed with Die Antwoord. Oh, wait. So we went on the whaling boat, the whale-watching boat. The whaling boat is something very different. We went on the whaling boat.

We killed eight whales. It was a rush. The seals applauded. And now I have lantern light for years. So we go on this boat, and the weather weather is and this is summertime in iceland but you get on this boat and the wind is so bitter it's freezing cold and we're as we're out on top of this thing and we turn down the offer of oil skins like they they they rent them to you at the beginning of the trip oil skins are footballs it's like the the coveralls like like uh the uh

you know whatever like rubbers like yeah yeah and we said no we don't need that because we're like we're layered or whatever we're fine and then as soon as we as soon as the boat left the harbor was like this is freezing cold so we went below um and we did not the the guy keeps getting on the on the the ship's you know uh sound system intercom and saying like well we think we see one over there uh to the right there is a spout we thought we saw a spout it's all very like maybe there's a whale over there nobody ever saw any whales what we did see was so many people getting seasick. It was wild. People were just like,

you just like walking all over the boat and throwing up. That's the whale skin. You need that too. Oh yeah. That's when I learned like I don't get seasick because I kind of loved it. Like the, the, the boat is going up and down and it

is really jarring motion but i really enjoyed it and i felt bad because people so many people are getting sick for janie it is she doesn't get sick but that that kind of motion sort of like knocks her out almost and she had to just like put her head down on this table it was terrible the only time that i ever went sailing was with my uncle and the rest of my family and he owned the boat and uh it wasn't even out of the harbor before i was like this is gonna be a problem oh no like i don't and it was the same with my brothers but my parents were fine with it but we ended up spending the entire time below and we saw nothing we saw nothing until we pulled into the other port you know what work we know what helps with that a little bit of zevia ginger yes don't think it

had been invented by that point they did have on the boat that had maldimer pills maldimer maldimer um what's that that's a little seasick to them yeah didn't really seem to help anybody my friend and past guest of the show erica sigerson uh sometimes you see cars

like near where the the back wheel is there's a kind of like it was in older cars it was just kind of like a piece of fabric i don't know if it's like to ground the car or or what but it's you could see him a lot on the back of cars and he she said her her dad told her that that cures car sickness and so she was never car sick she was car sick up until that point and then he pointed out and said that's what cures car sickness and she was never car sick again so all mental right i love yes i love stuff like that i had a friend cure me of hiccups one time

over the phone he like gave me all these these instructions and and then it worked and then later he said, yeah, I made all that up. But thank you for calling me. I was like swinging my arms, you know, first one way, then another. What's the worst hiccups you've ever had? That was it. That was it where I was...

Did you call your friend because you had the hiccups or did it happen while you were on the phone? I don't remember. I don't remember. I don't remember. But you did it. I think I was with another friend and that friend called our third friend. Okay.

Who was seen as the guru on this subject? I guess. I mean, this is before texting. This is landlines. This is a long time ago. Ah, landlines. This is like over 10 years ago. We wrote letters back and forth, and then by the fifth letter, my hiccups were gone.

Yes, our letters were scored with banjo music. Ken Burns was zooming into my hiccups. Dave, what's your worst hiccup? It feels like I don't know I remember I used to get them all the time as a kid eating carrots carrots were my gateway

vegetable but they would be funny but I would get them for two or three minutes they wouldn't be debilitating I had once where it was like same as paul it was willing to try every single thing and there was like drinking out of the wrong side of the cup and oh yeah like just taking water upside down yeah exactly i did a uh oh the worst was a couple years ago actually i remember

i had a i was at at Buffalo Wild Wings. I was so excited to go to Buffalo Wild Wings in Guelph, Ontario. And I, uh, the first bite of a hot wing, not even like I didn't get their hottest wing, just a regular hot wing.

And it was, it was like, it was amateur hour. It's like, I had never had a hot wing before. Yeah. And I was hiccuping It's like I had never had a hot wing before. Yeah. And I was hiccuping so hard and I was laughing at myself. And my two friends were just looking at each other like, who brought this guy?

Same guys from broadcasting school graduation? Yep. Dave had a hat. Remember this? I only had the two friends, but I've stayed with them through my whole life I haven't had hiccups in a long time I used to

when I smoked I used to get them all the time when like in the act of smoking or after you've done a cigarette it would sometimes in the act

of smoking yeah would you hiccup a little ring yeah always and the ring would it would spell out hick in smoke there'd be a little spinny line over your head i was thinking about how babies when babies get

hiccups and it rocks their whole body how funny that is and they so don't know what the hell's going on they don't seem to care either. It's like, that's the best. That's true. We become more skeptical as we grow up. Sorry. I had a case of consumption there, but I think I'm better. Clear it up right away.

Yeah, exactly. I just need to clear my throat. It turns out that was the trick. But yeah, like, Dave, you're you're a parent you've been through all this have your uh daughters ever had hiccups no none don't lie dave dave not even after halloween candies yeah no you're right they do get a they get a tootsie roll hiccup every november 1st do you guys like tootsie rolls i do yeah i would never choose them yeah i oddly i would but uh if i get in my halloween candy like there's a pile there's a you know 80 of it is

stuff let's say 60 of it is stuff i love 20 is stuff i don't love, but will eat. And then 20% is just like, I don't. Yeah. What was in that last 20% for you? What was it? The like square, the cubed caramels. Oh yeah. Like the craft. Oh yeah. I don't know.

What? I love those. Me too. I'm a, I very much on board. I liked unwrapping them. I liked that the thing was the same shape as the wrapping that it came out of. Yeah. And with little fold marks in it. I don't really remember because I still eat Halloween candy, and I don't remember how it used to be.

Right. Like, now it's so, you know, technological. Like cyber treats? Kids are getting e-candy. Yeah. like cyber treats kids are getting e candy yeah you know you gotta eat this but you know while it's still on the blockchain yeah oh god has anybody cornered you that and explained what blockchain is no i i still don't know what blockchain is i unfortunately know what nfts are i unfortunately know what cryptocurrency is yeah i'm against all of it i died so the thing that i feel like it started i feel like cryptocurrency

started as a way to it feels to me like a thing that was started by doomsday preppers you know what i mean right where it's like when everything collapses we'll have this this currency that exists online but to me it seems like when everything collapses that includes the internet yeah that money will just be trapped in space but i don't know so i don't know what the motivation was for that for crypto to to just subvert the world currency markets i don't i don't i don't get it yeah i don't it just seems like the people that are for it are not people that i want to be around and nfts are actively stupid i think i really really makes me mad but i think it's going to

be like the beanie babies of the you know or fidget spinners or whatever you mean my retirement plan you just have a storage locker filled with beanie babies and fidget spinners yes i have the princess diana beanie baby and the princess diana fidget spinner but yeah it seems like it seems like a thing that people are going to be afraid not to get into and that's what i'll build its popularity and then they'll find out nobody wants whatever it is i uh has this for an idea like you know how people are called target tarjay yeah uh do those people call them figet spinners yes yes is that worth anything the answer is yes they do well, let's package that as an NFT. Send it down the line, see if you can get any bytes, you know?

Maybe I'd like crypto spelled C-R-Y-P-T-A-U-X. Yeah, thank you. Crypto. I am very into how you say crypto. Yes, I put all my money in Dogecoin. Dogecoin. Dogecoin Dogecoin why don't we call it Cointro yeah I met a guy I was looking for an office to work out of

and this guy had a flag with the Bitcoin symbol on it which I didn't know that's what it was and he said like the office was really nice do you work for darth vader if so cool i'm cool with that i need you to know i hate the rebels they're scum empire forever that's right uh anyways one of the things he said is when you're working here you're gonna learn a lot about bitcoin and i was like in my head i'm gone see you bye i'm not uh taking this

office it was perfect except that the one guy said he was gonna teach me bitcoin like whether you liked it or not whether i liked it or not and i didn't like it so i laughed um yeah can i ask a question and this is probably going to be cut out but how big is your microphone it's it's very big it's like that picture with uh biden and uh jimmy carter that picture oh my god what the most delightful thing in such a long time so funny so great my god i stared at it for so long i when i first saw it i flipped right past it because i was like what why do i want to look at this photo but then everybody was talking about i was like oh this uh this is all sorts of incredible it's incredible

apparently they did not want to move their chairs that's what we heard the carters did not want to move their chairs because They got them where they like them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think that. Well, no,

I, I, as I can confirm that Graham's microphone is the same size as yours. Yeah. Okay. That's what I was wondering. It looks like the size of my camera, right?

Yes. Yes. Okay. Get Biden in here to kneel down. We'll really reverse this. And we'll somehow that'll all work out. I would like to see a tiny Jimmy Carter right behind you. So it goes giant microphone,

medium sized Graham, and then tiny. I wish I had a Jimmy Carter toy to make that happen, but I don't. I know they stopped making them. Yeah. I traded away for an N ntf and i feel like they're very valuable i have the princess diana jimmy carter

oh man uh dave what's going on with you man well before we talk about me let's take a break and talk about the max fun drive yeah okay listen here everybody yeah we got some stuff that we got to work out with yeah we gotta want to get some things off our chest first of all thank you thank you oh you didn't see that coming did you you thought we were mean yeah you thought we had a bone to pick but in fact we have a bone to give yes and it's time to give everyone a bone yeah and people get such bones when they listen to us talk about the max fun drive it is week two of max fun drive yeah week two of two and uh what it is if you've never uh heard the show before and this is your first time uh we want some money from you. You, first timer, you owe us.

But if you've never been part of a MaxFunDrive before, it's where we ask you, the listener, to support the shows that you love, and that keeps them artist-owned and allows us to do the show every week. It allows us to give the guests

a little cashish. And it's just a way of supporting the content you love. It couldn't be easier. You go to MaximumFun.org slash join, and away you go. Yeah, and we are very lucky to be part of such a great community of listeners. And, you know, we're 13 years into making this damn show and we do it every week and we're not the biggest show in the world no no that certainly is um the big top that's the biggest show in the world yeah

bartman bailey's uh you know ringling brothers circus yeah those are the two big shows on earth yeah uh but we were a show that is very important to a small number of people and they show it when they support the show and uh that's the reason we can keep doing this if we were 13 years in and still just like trying to get by on advertising money uh for for the size of our audience it would not be something we would be able to pursue but but because we have a devoted listenership and a generous listenership we are able to do it yeah and thanks to to existing donors. And if you're flush, maybe you upgrade. And if you're not, if you've had a hard year, maybe your income has gone down because of everything that's going on,

the show is still free and all our back episodes still free. And this is just, if you're flush, maybe consider joining us and being part of the community. Yeah. Graham comes from a time when the word flush is a positive thing. Yeah, that's true. Well,

you know what? A flush is a positive thing. It means that you're better than no flush. Yeah, that's right. But yeah, it's the one time year we ask you to support and shows you love. Yeah.

And when you support the show, there are things that you get. There's bonus content. There are gifts. And we will tell you all about those next time we have a break. Now that it's on your mind, go to MaximumFun.org slash join. Click on the dollar amount you would like to give and the shows you want to support. And let's get back to Paul. Dave, what's going on with you? Oh, who me?

Let's not talk about me anymore. Let's go back to the MaxFunDrive. Oh, sure. No. No, let's talk let's go back to the max fun drive sure no no let's do me so graham a couple weeks ago i was telling you about how i got into gardening yes i'm fascinated with the way things are growing and around my yard that's beautiful yeah i just love i love returning every couple hours to see if there's any more buds of blooming.

Um, but, uh, my newest thing that I got into this past weekend is I borrowed my dad's power washer. Oh, you, the transformation is complete.

The torch has been passed. I gotta say that sounds like fun. Yeah, it is. I, we have such low water pressure has been passed. I gotta say that sounds like fun. Yeah. It is. We have such low water pressure in this house. I was like, I don't even think there's going to be enough water coming through the hose. The power washer will just reject the water. Not enough.

Nice try. What do you have to plug it into? You're just your faucet on the side of the house kind of thing. Yeah, and then you plug it into the electricity nice this one anyway there's like gas powered ones that you know they'll take they'll take the skin off a mule or whatever don't do that i've got to get a mule skin to go on my icelandic whaling picture horrific so i uh there's like an area that leads down to the basement that there's like these stairs that are just covered in crud and i was like i'm gonna clean up this crud

and clean up this town yeah and so i uh i did it and it was it was fine it like i was like okay i'll wear bad clothes because i know i'm just gonna get leather jacket parachute pants yeah just out of date bad in every sense um just because i know everything's gonna get sprayed back on me yeah because when you power wash you're power washing one finger at the stairs that's right you're power washing one finger at the stairs. That's right. You're power washing three other fingers back at yourself. That's right. And it was very satisfying, but also it stoked something inside of me where I was like, next time I'm going to do this better. Next time I'm going to pre-treat it. And I was like, I spent the rest of the day watching power washing videos.

Not in the sense of the satisfying kind power washing videos not in the sense of like the satisfying way yeah yeah yeah it's spraying everybody gets soaked not in the sense of like you know you would just see it before and after it's it was like technique tricks and like here's what you should pre-treat it with here's the you know cheap way to here's the the you know the pre-treatment uh detergent they'll sell you in the store here's what you should pre-treat it with here's the you know cheap way to here's the the you know the pre-treatment uh detergent they'll sell you in the store here's how to make it yourself for cheap oh man they hate this guy the detergent industry hates this guy power washing's greatest villain the detergent man um uh because i have a lot of like leaves that fall on the concrete steps that just like

leave these black marks and those are really hard to get out so this is this is how a person becomes a person that loves power washing and gardens this is the slow evolution sure because you were you were neither of these things say a year ago and now you've you've blocked and i definitely was thinking about it uh like in the fall when the leaves started falling on the concrete and just leaving these terrible black marks everywhere and i was like oh i should buy a power washer and my dad was like i'll let you borrow mine but no keepsies but why don't you wait until the spring and so i waited but like if i hadn't waited were you so excited if i owned my own i'd be out there every weekend power washing sure absolutely maybe going over the neighbors and saying do you need anything uh scrub down maybe

some kids walking that seemed really hot you could spray them a little bit but dave I think it is good because by now you'd be craving more power. That's how it goes, right? He's one of your nation's best cocaine dealers. One of the best. Absolutely. One of the most famous cocaine dealers of all time still living. Still living, that's right. Is the guy from Blow, is he still with us?

I think he's passed oh was it did he get power washed to death he was power washed to death he was riding a mule at the time and i was trying to get that skin off for its valuable skin so what's the next power washing project i mean it's the same stuff i already did but better okay right so what you were just were you putting like a hose and then putting your thumb over it to kind of create some some tension poor man's water yeah that's more power yeah that's like blast a hole through a wall. It doesn't hurt your thumb, though.

Isn't that funny? Yeah. You know, that's physics for you. It's very loud, though. So I was like, I didn't want to do it. I didn't want my neighbors noticing. Right. So I did it in the middle of the night. How loud is it?

Well, no. noticing right in the middle of the night how loud is it well no it's just like a it's like a just a motor machine that runs the whole time it's like a lawnmower as loud as a lawnmower but it's not as loud as a leaf blower not quite but it it was like two hours of it yeah your neighbors hate you that's that. That's what it is. For sure. I mean, I don't want... I didn't come here to make friends. No, that's true. That's right.

You came here to win America's next power washer. Have you ever used one of these devices? Yeah, I've used it at the do-it-yourself car wash. The power sprayer. And they also give you a broom that makes soap so it's uh have you guys ever done that wash your own car i have never i've not washed my own car to that extent like i vacuumed out my car um i have not done the uh the power wash i've just done like the drive-through or like done a quick job with my own hose hose yeah yeah you know what if you get a chance

try it out it's a lot of fun it's fun to soap up your own car and then spray it off all right and if you've got a family pet with you you can spray them a little bit they like it oh they love it uh paul do you uh do you get down and dirty in your own yard no i don't my my wife and i both have black thumbs we have killed any plant that's ever come into the house anything we've ever tried to grow has died we're terrible i've killed anything inside i kill indoor plants but outdoor gives me a little jenny tried to do a uh like a little spice garden like you put outside the window. And no, it didn't happen.

Wow. Didn't happen. Didn't take. Now, Paul, you have a little picnic table? Yes. Can we talk about the little picnic table? I would be more than happy to discuss this. I saw one time... The first time I encountered one of these was

around the Silver Lake Reservoir. I saw one time. Okay. The first time I encountered one of these was, uh, uh, around the, um, the silver Lake reservoir. There's like a walking path, uh, where you can walk around.

And I saw on one of the trees, someone had screwed one of these things in a little tiny picnic bench that squirrels would use. Uh, and they'd sit on the bench like a person. They don't, they don't know what they're doing right and they eat you put out food for them on the they'll there'll be like a little bucket or something you can put out food or you can stick like a a little cob of corn on their

apples they eat as well all right and i was fascinated by and i walked past this thing so many times i was like man one of these days i'm gonna walk past and there's gonna be a squirrel there and it's gonna be the greatest thing and then i finally then a friend of mine uh i think i took a picture of it and a friend of mine saw the picture and and sent me a picture from her home where they had one of these things she and her boyfriend had one and i saw a squirrel sitting there on this table and i was like i gotta i need to know what that life is like yes and so i got myself a squirrel picnic table and i got myself a nature camera motion activated nature camera and it has been honestly the highlight of my life wedding goodbye yep that's right so you put you put a tiny picnic table you put nuts on it Honestly, the highlight of my life. Wedding goodbye. Yep.

That's right. So you put, you put a tiny picnic table out, you put nuts on it. I put, there's a little bowl and I put hazelnuts in the bowl because I was tipped off that they love hazelnuts. And so, and they do, they really do. And so I will, I will often capture the squirrel eating the nuts on the camera. The best of course is when you just look out the window and they're there. That is fantastic.

I assume it's just the one squirrel that keeps coming back. It's never more than one. That would be great if they were sitting on either side of the bench. Well, Matt Gourley, that's his dream is to have two of them sitting at the same bench. I don't think that happens. I don't think that's going to happen. What if they were socially distanced and wearing masks? But I mean, that would be precious,

and I would die of cuteness overload. Now, but before the squirrels, Janie was convinced that there were rats. Yeah, and that turned out to be true. First, i started by putting just uh shelled peanuts in there and no takers like for a week nothing happened got the camera nothing happened then one night uh captured a rat coming down from the tree i i and look i know i'm alone in this uh in my household i thought the rat was very cute. I find rats, yeah, they're cute.

There's just bad PR around them. Bad PR, exactly. But when you see a squirrel's tail, it's kind of rat-like. Absolutely. No, that's the only part that's not rat-like, I think. No, but if you look at it in the sun, it looks... Squirrels' heads are different, too. Yeah.

They do have different, they have cuter heads than rats. And their priorities are different. Yeah. Politics are different too yeah they are they do have different they have cuter heads than rats and their priorities are different yeah politics are different yes yeah lifestyles are different orientations are different you would have think you would have thought that the the peanut like the peanut in the shell like it's a fun project for a rodent to break through that shell yeah that's true do they even know that's food? Do they know there's food in there? You know who's a little creature who likes peanuts? Jimmy Carter. Jimmy Carter, that's right.

But sometimes the squirrels will leave leftovers in the bucket, in the little bowl. And then at night, a possum will come to eat those leftovers really possums they're not cute and i know some people think they're cute but i think possums have one good angle they have a lot of bad angles where they look horrific they're like giant rats aren't they they got a long tail they're more ratty than squirrels i think okay yeah because they have those long faces like a long faces and big big black eyes it's a black eyes yeah yeah and then you hear that terrible high pitch screaming um but uh one night i captured a skunk that was just kind of nosing around did not eat the nuts but was just kind of looking around that was very exciting skunks rule i think skunks are great yeah we uh here we don't get possums we get quite a few skunks and raccoons are you in raccoon is los angeles not a raccoon town

no we have raccoons i haven't seen one in a while one time i one time on tour one time i saw one i was driving home and one crossed the street way ahead of me um but i could see it in the streetlights and it was so it was so big that i thought it was a i thought it was a different species of thing like i thought that it was a deer i thought wow this is a new creature that has not that has ever been seen on earth before it was wild because it was it was about as big it seemed like it was about as big as a dog like a medium-sized dog it was i could not i really was startled by it i really thought this is a monster a monster has escaped from the bowels of the earth have you ever done that where looking at something far away you think it's an animal and your brain starts

tricking you into thinking that it's moving and then it's just a bag of garbage or whatever yep absolutely yeah absolutely love it absolutely slam it on the brakes oh that thing's not there anymore it blew over to the side of the road i mean i don't want to run over a bag of garbage either oh i love to do it i love you never know what you're gonna get i always feel like if i see like just a loose bag on the road i'm i don't want to drive over it and i always will check my rear view mirror to make sure it didn't get sucked up into whatever see i think going on underneath my car i think that's another one of those like not urban legend but somebody said that not to drive over plastic bags because it gets in the axle of the car. I just feel, well, no, you definitely don't want to drive over a mattress.

Oh, well, that goes without saying. What? I hear that is the death end, the death knell? The bell end, the end of your car. You bell end. Yeah. Wait, why? Unless you drive over

one of those Casper mattresses. Well, the springs of the mattress all just get wrapped around the gears in the the whatever's moving in underneath your car wait so you when you drive over the mattress it pops it like a balloon and the springs get all loose yeah the mattress is like it's uh it wants to grab a hold of your car yeah it's like toxoplasmosis the. The mattress springs want to be inside a car. Yes. And we want to drive over

mattresses. What instance possibly would you drive over a mattress? Like as a dare? No, if someone's if it's fallen off someone else's car. I'd just stop and get out of my car. Take the license plate off the car. Disappear. I'd take a nap. I'd stop, get out of my car, lie the license plate off the car. Disappear. I'd take a nap.

I'd stop, get out of my car, lie down on the mattress. In the middle of the highway. That's right. See if there's any reason that they would have thrown this out. Is it a good quality spring? Have you ever driven with a mattress on top of your car? Yes. Yeah, yeah.

It's terrifying. I have. It's terrifying. And you're like, no matter how tight you have it. You feel the resistance of it. You feel the resistance of it. You feel the resistance of it. Yeah. It's like a sail on top of your car.

Yeah. And I've like driven with my hand on it. Absolutely. Even though that will, if it comes loose, my arm is going to get ripped off. But it would have been worth it. What a story. Because of my grip on it. So yeah, I've been power washing washing what's up with you oh uh nothing man nothing's going on i uh i read okay so last night i was i listened to a podcast that was about the dixie chicks thing where they said you're wrong about

you're wrong about that's right um about that so we should be we should have been hating them no that uh yeah some of the things with the you're wrong about i'm like i already knew that so i'm yeah am i double wrong what did people think that prompted you to make this episode i watched the the hot coffee documentary already so i knew about the mcdonald's thing but i was trying to see if it was on netflix and when i like put the word in it was shut up and sing and the top match was for a korean uh cartoon kids show called bread Barber which is about a slice of bread this is the first thing that matched up with Shut Up and Sing and it's called Bread Barber

and it's about a slice of bread that lives in a world of baked delights and he does this is a children's show and he gives them hairdos I just wanted to ask you, what was the need for that double check there?

Was there something that seemed not like a children's show to you that you wanted to... I don't know, it's a different culture Maybe Maybe Maybe people in Korea like, I don't know I've been having trouble focusing

everything i know about korea is from minari and that one toddler that i follow on instagram for me it's gangnam style and the seoul olympics yeah that's right um so the so i watched an episode and the funny thing about it is the opening credits so i watched an episode of course i went from the dixie chicks and yeah i gave up on that bread barber i might check out an episode of bread barber if i can't stumble upon it by accident just i needed to know you know yeah and the thing that was funny is the opening credits are twice as long as the episode itself and then the closing credits are also twice as long as how long are the episodes like at best five minutes and but and uh it turned out it was really funny it was an actual like like, really funny show.

He's trying to make a cupcake that had too big of a head. Is there dialogue? Or is it like a... Yeah, there's a bit of dialogue, but... Wait, I'm sorry. The bread barber was trying to make a cupcake? Trying to make a cupcake's overly large head into some kind of hairdo. Now I understand.

Thank you. Yeah. And he tried to make it like look like an afro and that didn't work the paint all fell off and he eventually tied it up and made it look like a crown and that was the whole episode my kids watch my kids watch a few of those netflix uh things that are five minute shows with 10 minutes of credits. Cause they credit every language. Oh yes.

Right. Yes, yes, yes. Yeah. But if the opening was so long to the point that I was like, Oh, this is a trailer for the show.

And then the episode started and I was like, well, I'm in now in for Penny. And I fucking loved it. I think it's fun when you leave it when you watch a netflix show and then you just leave it on and then you look up from your phone and uh they've been rolling credits in so many different languages and then you get to one where it's like i don't even know what that alphabet is how long am i looking at my phone but you know i would never in a million years if i i don't know how you could seek something

like that out if you didn't know it existed and why was it the top pick for shut up and sing what algorithm crosses over and makes the dixie chicks Brad Barber kind of the same group have you seen Brad Barber Dave? no I haven't I've seen Booba Booba is a it's about a little plague tumor right? I'm Booba I was born of a rat I'm Booba

look at my cute hat Booba is a little Russian cartoon a little man with a beard and a tail which is all just like uh slapstick like say no yeah yeah like satan describe satan in three words uh there was one there was one called larva island which is one of these netflix shows about a guy on a desert island with these two weird larvas. Oh, no. We had to, like, Google, how do you block a Netflix show? Because it was so gross and horrible.

It's disgusting. It's the most disgusting setup I've heard for. Have you heard of something more disgusting? I don't know. Maybe a documentary about. The Dixie Chicks about like the dixie chicks yeah dixie chicks or you know a professional eater like somebody who eats a lot of hot dogs and tours around that would be pretty gross don't you think paul um my favorite one of my favorite

moments on this podcast in the last year was um it involves me i hope it involves me when your wife danny was on our show okay and uh did she spill the tea or what graham's first question to her was so i understand you and dave both love wendy's wendy's that's right that was my end yeah he told me about that and she was like, I do? Where did you get that idea? I got it from, I think from Instagram? No, I think it was an episode of your podcast. Oh, it might have been, yeah. You had like gone to a drive-in movie and you went to Wendy's beforehand. But yeah, I heard she said like when you guys were talking about your top restaurant,

she placed it very high, like second best fast food restaurant or something. Oh, maybe even the first. And so I was like, wow, this is Dave loves. Clearly not first because she was surprised.

She liked it as much as Dave or liked it at all. Well, Paul, what's your favorite fast food restaurant? I, I've been talking about this a lot lately for some reason i think my on the dough boys i was on the dough but they did their crazy uh uh telethon oh they stayed awake for 25 hours um and we did taco bell which was not

i gotta say i hadn't had in a long time and i did not enjoy it it was fine but it was my go-to i think if i crave fast food is probably mcdonald's just classic last we have that mcdonald's or kfc oh really yeah used to when i was a kid we got kfc once a year that was the most kfc and i waited for that day and then the rest of the year was just trash i didn't need the rest of the year i would just that day made it all worth living i remember requesting it for my birthday one year that was our family dinner on my birthday kfc is the one fast food place i my body cannot handle it's oh no not at all yeah i i ache yeah my every part of my face sweats, my back hurts. Dave, that means it's working.

That's your immune. Now you're immune. Yes. I, the same thing. It like really, it really takes me out. And it's like,

it's, it's only good for the exact amount of time that you were eating it. And then as soon as you stop, it's like, Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What happened to me? There isn't't i don't think there is a fast food although we do have one in canada called taco time and every time i've had that has been a good experience but it's only open a certain time

right yes and you have to guess what time they decree is taco time yeah it's taco time somewhere there's like a big siren that goes off in the city yes we get alerts on our phones it's taco time because taco bell for me we don't have it here so anytime i drive over like when i make a run for the border it's sure bellingham washington literally to get something crunchy and and beanie another show you have to block on netflix crunchy and yeah crunchy and beanie it's about these mexican foods that cut each other's hair made by americans in the midwest um should we talk a little bit more about the max fun drive i would love it guys let me take this okay no don't max fun drive you know you love this show and you know how it's supported by you

all we do is ask for your support at this time it's just once a year come Come on, everybody. Do the right thing. Please donate. Dave, shut the fuck up. You gotta donate. You gotta support these shows. Not just the shows you like, but the shows you don't like and don't listen to. That's not part of it. Paul, tell people

what the gifts they could get are. This year, we're pulling out all the stops. you can get soap shave like shaped like gram and dave you can get you can get a variety pack of cereals that all look like gram and dave these are name brand cereals that we have customized to look like gram and dave you can also get a free trip on a hang glider you can get you can get the year's worth of your electricity paid for you can get you can get a plastic surgery of your choice above the neck you can get you can get a manhole cover with your monogram on it to be in front of your enemy's home you can you can get the key to my chocolate factory what a good boy what a good boy i see

before me this is the key to my chocolate factory oh man you you nailed it you got all of them yeah right yeah well done now now it's our turn good luck that's right before we get to overheards you gotta you gotta hear about these damn gifts yeah exactly now uh not only will be joining the team and going to maxfund.org slash join uh not only will you feel warm inside and a kind of uh spirits lifted kind of feeling yeah like the brotherhood of man you'll feel like uh you've been visited by an angel who says a child is born. And we shall call him Wonderful Counselor. Yes. And then watch out for those three kings.

They won't be here for a few weeks. But when they do, it's mer time, baby. Speaking of things you get, mer and otherwise, some of the gifts that we're going to run through at the different membership levels. We'll let you know all the things that you can get your grubby paws on. Now, the way this works is you go to MaximumFun.org slash join. You click on how much money you would like to support the network with

every month. You click on the shows that you listen to on the network and your money goes directly to those shows if you don't listen to it it doesn't get your money yeah exactly and uh that's that's a nice thing that's a nice uh you know because like sometimes i buy a coffee from uh a chain and i don't know where the hell that money's going you know um and uh you know we're very glad we're very lucky to have a the people who are already members and thank you so much for supporting the show and if you uh want to join or boost or upgrade go to maximumfund.org join and uh dave let's take them on a wild tour yeah so here here are the gifts these are for new and upgrading members uh if you if you uh already support the

show we thank you yes if you donate at five dollars per month you get bonus content bonus episodes of our show the entire back catalog of over a decade of bonus episodes one where we uh played trivial pursuit with alicia tobin that's right one where we just did overheards one where we did a backwards episode a call-in show the card guys that's right the card guys. That's right. The card guys. Yeah. And I'm going to let you in on a little secret. We've been doing one bonus episode a year. We're going to do more this year.

Yeah, exactly. So if you support the show at $5 a month, you're going to get a bonus episode every few weeks. Yeah. I'm not going to say how much. No, yeah, exactly. We're not going to say how much, how long they are. Maybe they'll be five minutes. Oh, they're going to be five minutes of silence.

A staring contest. If you join at $10 per month, you get one of 38 enamel pins that are inspired by the shows on the network uh and i'll tell you i i think we've got everybody beat i think we've got the best of the enamel pins yeah we i don't even get most of the other enamel pins i get ours yeah and uh you know what it is for long time listeners to the show, all you bumpers out there. If Dave could do me the service of setting up what our pin is. You know, a certain restaurant comes up as a topic. Oh, every three or four weeks on the show.

And the restaurant is called A&W. And I often say, hey, do you know what A&W stands for? And I say, what? Hamburgers and Whoop beer. And we got, guys, it happened. The hamburgers and Whoop beer pin is in. It's designed by Megan Lynn Cott. It's got a picture of an hamburger and a Whoop beer, and it's brown.

Brown and orange like A&W. Yeah. And you get the enamel pins. You get a letterpress max fun membership card and you get all the uh bonus content uh we were talking about before and at twenty dollars at twenty dollars a month you get the take a minute tea kit uh which is some a bunch of tea stuff with a Maximum Fun theme, a rocket ship tea steeping strainer. At $35 a month, there is the Rocket Insulated Cup with the Maximum Fun rocket logo on it.

You know what you could put in there? A little bit of that tea. Yeah, you could put some tea. I mean, you could put anything in there. That's true. Liquid, solid, or gas. You could put a rolled up pair of socks, and then you have some emergency socks at work. Yeah, you could put an emergency, roll up a pair of socks, and then it'll give the cup a little bit of weight.

So when you have to act in a scene, people won't say, hey, that's an empty cup that you're pretending to hold. Nuh-uh nah it's a couple rolled up socks in there yeah you can also drink right now you can put a peanut brittle snake in there you can put oh i hope our guest is his famous peanut brittle snake joke but you get all the aforementioned stuff and this insulated cup you get you get all of that and then at 50 there's more at a hundred dollars there's more at 200 who you even talking to uh go to maximum fun.org join and you can see pictures of all this stuff get all the details of all the gifts but do it now do it now that we're talking about it now that it's on your mind go to maximum fun

dot org slash join yeah and uh we love you and uh we care about you and we wish we could hug you all yeah and uh one day we'll get to um but yeah for now the way we can connect best is if you go to MaximumFun.org slash join. Bye. I mean, we'll be right back. Overheard. Overheard's a segment where if you're lucky enough in these days and times to hear something golden, do not keep it for yourself. Share it with the world and we always like to start with the guest paul do you have an overheard

okay oh gosh and take your time paul's got the hiccups i have i managed to inhale just the right amount of saliva to make that a disaster um i gotta be a perfect blend it really does it is the sweet spot i haven't overdreamt as i told you earlier i had the worst night of sleep of my life last night and what was happening was i was waking up like every what felt like every half hour sweating it was i really think i was fighting off something but what what kept happening was like against my will i kept thinking i would wake up and start thinking about the same thing in i would i essentially came up with an idea for a movie that takes place on the moon earth's moon um a few years from now and the idea is we have at that point we have built a uh a sort of base on the moon um and uh all of a sudden uh the the

the people up there on the base discover that there are these monsters that live under just under the surface of the moon that exist in a perfect ring around the moon. So they can't traverse from one side to the other from any direction or they will be destroyed by these monsters. So then i kept i kept waking up and then i kept adding details to this all fucking night long then it was that they discover a a cave on the moon where these people have been had traveled there from like jules verne days and built like this

fucking steampunk rocket and spacesuits and everything and in this in this cave they are kept there's somehow there's breathable air in this cave and they've been there for centuries right and so there's it's a it's a man and his daughter his grown daughter the man appears to be asleep one of the astronauts touches him and he crumbles into uh dust like a burnt log and then they so they take the um they take the daughter out and then it turns out she's been driven mad from being in there for so long but somehow this guy this jules verne guy uh had figured had learned the the habits of these moon creatures and they're almost like cicadas where they come out like a certain time every you know 130 years and then i said like i kept adding details to it and then i started like before i finally fell into

like actual deep sleep then i was just critiquing it like i was going over the logic problems of it and saying well no okay but she if she lived there for that long with her dead father like you know she how did she survive like what did she eat and i was like well maybe they don't need to eat or drink when they're in this cave and i'm like i don't know it just seems like how does that happen and then i was like well i'm actually to have to talk to somebody who knows science to see like, how could something like this be even close to possible, you know, enough to take poetic license with.

Um, and then I finally, and then I finally fell, fell asleep, man. That is that. I loved it. I want to try it.

Like, yeah. Well, you know, before, before I finally fell asleep, I was thinking like, this is viable.

This is a viable idea and I need to remember this. And then I did remember all of it. And I don't think it's that great. I think it's pretty good. You think it's got legs? I think it's got legs. As a sci-fi pitch?

You think there's something there? Yeah. I mean, who are the people and what do they want? What's their inner damage do they save the cat yes i had once like years ago uh woke up and in the middle of the night and i was like i just had the most amazing dream and it would be the perfect thing for a movie so i wrote down what it was and in the morning i looked at it and it said time traveling robot. And I was like, that's just terminate.

That's not anything. What did, do you think that your robot went back further in time? So like the, the roaring twenties or something. I just, I was so disappointed that that's what I came up with. That would be good.

Time traveling robot who doesn't, who goes, yeah, he goes and kills Toulouse-Lautrec. disappointed that that's what i came up with that would be good time traveling robot who doesn't who goes yeah he goes and kills toulouse-latrec yeah sure oh bob marman another video director right video director went to the big screen what did he direct what videos you know some australian some australian midnight oil you guys are burning truganini did he drink truganini it's a midnight oil song oh okay i thought they just had the one but okay they truganini there's a band called big country and their famous song is called big country yeah yeah yeah

does that happen has that happened any time else like has any oh sure yeah it has as i maybe not as a one-hit wonder so much but sometimes the band will sing a song but it's not about the band but it is the name of the band yeah like the doors did they do that that seems like yeah song title hey hey where the doors people see us door around uh dave do you have an overheard oh yeah the adams family of course is one that's right um uh we uh so i have a couple of overseens from facebook where i'm not friends with anyone anymore but i uh because of my politics and uh my uh anti-vax ways you got the vax and then you were like not for me i didn't like it i'm anti this from now on well it's weird like the kind of people who, uh, there's someone at Margo's school. There's a mother we heard who was like,

I'm not getting the vaccine. You know, uh, I don't want to grow a fourth arm. I do. Which made me think like, you already have three. Yeah.

She's got one on, uh, layaway plan. She doesn't have the money quite yet to get it. Look, I want a third arm. I don't want to grow a fourth arm before I'm ready for it. Dave, is it true that Margo is named after Margo Martindale? It's not true.

What? I just lost $100. To Graham. Yep. And you know what? I said I gave you double or nothing odds. Um, so my overseens are,

uh, from a couple of boomers in my life. Yeah. Uh, Paul, you're not a boomer. No, you're,

you're a gen X. Yeah. All the way, baby. Yeah. Reality bites. Am I right? You really put the emphasis on bites.

It does, it bites. It bites, absolutely. So one of them, this was an overseen, this is a meme. This is something that had 11,000 comments on it. Oh my God. It says, today is kindergarten day do you remember your teacher's name and 11,000 people were like

yeah I do oh here it is yeah Miss Plusser like who gives a shit what does that mean today is kindergarten day the same as Cinco de Mayo let Cinco de Mayo have it today is kindergarten day no it is not

there's no such thing i can't imagine in the world who cares what my kindergarten teacher's name is yeah who cares if i don't remember it although i can remember mine i i was thinking like when i saw this i was like who doesn't remember their kindergarten's name kindergarten teacher's name and i was going through what grades i remember and i think i don't remember my grade five teacher's name it's russell oh wow i don't i don't think i remember my my kindergarten i can remember what she looks like but i don't remember her name but i could give you i could give you all of my teachers from uh first through eighth grade no problem yeah wow okay i accept your challenge okay oh no all's a boomer first grade sister helen daly second grade miss bitter third grade Mrs. Marino fourth grade

Sister Maria George nice fifth grade Miss Gadero sixth grade Mr. Cruz seventh grade Sister Melania eighth grade Mrs.

DeChico and there you go I think you'll find I named them all from first to eighth grade Ooh. Eighth grade, Mrs. DeChico. And there you go. I think you'll find I named them all from first to eighth grade. That matches what I have here, so. In ninth, you had different subjects. Various teachers, yes. This was senior high school, let's say. Sure, sure, sure, sure. Okay, here is my, I'm not going to make Graham name.

Oh, man, I just really don't want to name mine because they were all french um now so the other boomer meme that i saw that i oversaw was a picture of liver and onions and it says uh does anyone actually liver anymore 83 000 comments yeah this is the type 83 000 facebook is the worst this is this is the stuff this is the content i crave i want people to ask a bold question does anybody eat liver anymore how do i know yeah and the problem it's the problem with this generation they're not eating liver anymore. Yeah. I would bet the same amount of people eat liver as ever ate liver in all of history. Maybe earlier when, before, you know, like modern food selling was invented, before supermarkets, when people were like on the fucking prairie or whatever, they're like, we got to eat it

all. We got to eat it. We can't not eat any of it. We got to eat it all. we gotta eat it all so what do you want to last us till three weeks exactly it's winter and we are fucked yeah these i like a good prompt like on twitter or something when somebody asks a weird question i enjoy that i saw one the other day that was like what's the what's the cruelest thing a parent ever said to you i'm like who what why that's not fun i don't want to share that i don't want other people to share it are you writing season two of the slap yeah the slap did you did you ever see the german adaptation der slap did you ever see the German adaptation der slap

der slap just horrible that's not good what good is that doing I mean go to therapy yeah go to therapy don't but the liver one you can't go to therapy for that if you go there's going to be

liver anymore I'm having problems tell your therapist I don't need liver does anyone what do you think what are your thoughts how do you talk to a therapist oh i love that song by jamie walters how do you talk from the heights oh the heights who could forget again what's the Heights? It was like a Melrose Place type show where they were a band. Yeah, it was like. I remember the Ben Stiller show.

Yes. They did a spoof that was Melrose Heights 90210 and then a bunch of other numbers. Nice. And it was about a high school band that was also Melrose Place. Yeah. Cool. And Bob Odenkirk was a robot. That's right.

Wait, no. Everyone thought he was a robot. Oh, yes. He did a robot dance. That's right. That's right. I do not. I am out of the loop on this.

You sure are, man. I don't know the heights. That's some Gen X comedy you'll enjoy. I enjoy all Gen X comedy. I'm not a boomer. I'm not a boomer. I'm not a boomer. Paul's not a boomer. When's the cutoff?

At the beginning of the summer. That's when cutoffs happen and they stick around till fall. What do you consider cutoff season? I'll put that on Facebook. What's the weirdest pants your parents ever cut off for you to wear do you remember the name of the first grocery clerk you ever met hey everybody paper or plastic it's grocery store day yeah 620 000 comments uh graham what's your over yeah you're said tough yeah you're gonna find out i'm

i'm not scared of you bullies um i uh was at uh the store london drugs um nobody does it better yeah they sell a myriad of things including candy and i was there was an older lady in the candy aisle holding some kind of chocolate bar. And she was asking the woman who worked there. She said, how chewy is this? On the Richter scale. I'm not going to chew it myself, but how chewy is this? Will I need my mother bird to chew it up for me.

Do you think that she wanted it to be very chewy or she wanted it to be not very chewy? I think given her advanced age, I'm guessing not wanting it to be chewed. She have a giant bandage wrapped around her head. Yes. And she was saying, heck,

she had all sorts of problems what if she was an old lady who had her original teeth and she was like i'm gonna make the most of this yeah that's true like i've had a really good run of it now i've avoided all of these things for years and now i'm gonna live it up yeah what if she was an old lady who lived in a shoe the saddest part of that of course is she had so many children she didn't know what to do yeah it's it now this is something i i'm definitely posting this on facebook oh here we go was she very small or was the shoe very big yes way in

way in with your never thought about that before i always assumed it was a huge shoe. That's what I thought, too. Yeah, with windows, right? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, like, if you knew somebody lived in a shoe now, you'd think that was amazing. If their house looked like a shoe, that would blow your mind. Yeah, they'd be on some dumb reality show. Yeah, before, you would be laughed at.

But now, you would be the coolest person. That's right. Yes. You'd be acclaimed. Now, we also have overheards sent in from people all over the map if you want to send one in to us. You can send it to spy

at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Charles K. in Seattle. He's a... Some friends rented out the performance room after I was at the Seattle Drum School years ago for a party. Boom-ba-ba-ba-boom-boom-ba-ba.

That's a paradiddle, etc. The faculty... The facility seemed to be under control of a junior high-aged kid who reminded me of Stephen Lee blah-blah-blah. At the door, as we left, I noticed Seattle Drum School t-shirts for sale, clearly marked five cents each.

They were trying to get rid of old stock. I handed the kid a dollar, grabbed two shirts and said, just keep it. And he said with a smirk, hey man, don't try to rip us on. Not bad. Yeah, that team turned it upside down.

And then his drum teacher threw a cymbal at his head that's why he's so great at drumming not his tempo that's right what would be the equivalent

of that in comedy that somebody would throw something your way and that you would microphone the audience microphone

throw the audience at you oh what would they throw at you yeah or yeah what would they what would you yeah or yeah what would they what would one person be able to do to cue you up as a comedian yeah i think a bad audience is probably it or having to block somebody throwing a beer glass at you something like that

having to track down your money from a gig. Yes, that is. Hey, me again. Hey, I didn't want to leave here without saying goodbye. Also, did you happen to have that check you told me about every other show? Who do I talk to about? This last one comes from Steph in Chicago.ago last one i thought that was the first one that was the first one this is the second one uh but it's also the last one it's also the last one so there you go i understand time um this is from the grocery store i was packing my bags at the end it's grocery store day yes that's right this is great remember the first can you ever bought yes it was a del monte i know

that um i was packing my bags at the end of a checkout when one of my one of the baggers at the adjacent line said to her she's really been living in 2016 with those snaps she'd been posting so i guess snaps are out everybody tiktoks in snaps are out i just assumed where is she posting them probably on i don't know yeah i guess that's where well then why are those people seeing them hmm ah yeah you turned the logic against them this is a fake one you guys get swindled all the time. It's embarrassing. Oh, here's an overheard. Someone said,

Baba Booey? Constantly getting pranked. Yeah, someone called us and... Didn't you just have a prank call happen to you, Paul? The worst. The less said about that the better it was it was the worst it's so i i don't think i've ever been prank called before and it is like the the when you realize you've been taken in it's like it's the absolute worst yeah yeah that wasn't even that good like it was not funny you know what i mean was it scary my oh my reaction

to it i'm sure it was hilarious like if you heard me screaming at this guy, I'm sure people would laugh at it. Which I can't blame them. It's all anything I've ever wanted, you know? Yeah. Yeah. This last one comes from Tony in Monticello, New York. Oh, Tony! Monticello.

Monticello. Must be the water, am I right? i was at a store with my wife and overheard a child probably about seven saying i was saying please why aren't you saying yes so the kid trying to get candy I technically did the thing so I'm over it I'm ready for it I thought please was the

quote unquote magic word I my kids are having a real problem climbing that mountain right now

the please oh really yeah yeah well just like the fact that you like the fact that you

have to say please for everything like literally you know can that you have to say please for everything. Like literally, you know, can I have something to drink, please? Sure. Would you like apple juice or orange juice? Apple juice. Please.

You have to say please again. That's true. Do you want apple juice? Yes. Please. Please. What really sucks is that they will forget this when they're older and and they just will have the realization that you don't have to say please for everything anymore that's true yeah like that you can you can live with someone and say hey hand me that thing

and they have to do it yeah you can't go like what do you say it's like no we're we're both grown grown ups give me that right now well I will but I would appreciate a please next time you're welcome alright I thought Graham was going to read

the last one that was the last one we had two last ones yeah yeah two last ones one first one thank you

I was hoping it was a third last one and please move on. See? We're in addition to overhears that are written in. We also accept your phone calls if you want to call us. Our phone number is 1-844. I had to look at the number this time.

1-844-779-7631. That's one. Oh, SpyPod 1. Like these people have. Oh, boy. Hi, three, one. That's one. Oh, spy pod one. Like these people. Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Anna in North Carolina calling in with an overheard. I was in the Goodwill last weekend,

looking at some knickknacks and overheard a mother and her daughter in the next aisle. And daughter's probably in middle school or so, but I heard her ask her mom, I've had a lot of phases haven't i what was my last phase and the mom said frozen and the girl said oh yeah that was a long phase before that chitty chitty bang bang i thought that was a great phase for a kid to have yeah there's got to be like you say there's got to be a gateway uh phase and why not jitty jitty bang bang has either you

guys seen that i saw i saw when i was a kid and i remember being put off by it yeah first of all the child catcher is terrifying but also it's not like as fun the it sounds like the promise of it is very fun like it's this magical car yeah it runs over and does all this crazy shit dick van dyke is different than herbie different than herbie yes this is all like a jalopy looking car that can fly and shit um and fly and shit what is herbie yeah it's like a bird herbie just can drive by himself that's all he does oh hmm that's uh that's elon musk saw that and was like i'm gonna do that someday i will make cars i'll do that but make it unsafe

herbie but it drives into a tree what were your phases as a child oh my god like i think big star wars phase for sure yeah indiana jones phase um i i went through a period as a kid where i wanted to be a stuntman this is awesome this is an awesome phase of kid i would choreograph uh my little friends and i would choreograph sword fights with wiffle bats. And I jumped off of things a lot. Just to impress everybody? Well, no, just like to practice my sun work. Right, yes. I remember like thinking, I remember, you know, visiting my parents' house and suddenly remembering, oh yeah, when I was a kid, I used to run off the porch and jump over this

bush and land at the bottom of this little hill and i looked at it as an adult and i'm like i would i would never do that like if you if you made me do that now i would cry yeah stuntmen often cry that's what you don't see the the number one trick in stunt in stunt work is to mask the crying right now my kids are jumping off of like one stair too high that i think they can yeah like they're four stairs up and they're jumping to the bottom of the stairs absolutely yeah and i uh seeing it it scares me if i don't see it and i'm just underneath i'm like below the floor that they're jumping onto it scares me even more because it sounds like a human body has just like let the bodies hit the floor yeah i remember

my body's at the floor yeah sure like god sort. I remember my, the phase I remember the most is Ninja. Ninja as a child. Which I believe just consisted of jump kicks. Like seeing if I could do this, this, make this pose that they would always photograph ninjas in. In midair. Very cool. Absolutely. Were you guys into, were dinosaurs a big thing for you when you were little

yeah they're a big thing for everyone they're huge yeah they weren't for me oh i see what you mean yes they are they're like size wise yes they're very big they were big what you're saying for thunder lizards they were big for everybody in alberta because uh that's like a hotbed of fossil finding is in alberta okay so you didn't have a choice as a kid you were going through a dinosaur phase and right you better enjoy it no it was for kids here too and i was i remember i do find it weird when people my age love jurassic park because i i was 12 when it came out and i was like oh i'm past that right like this is this is a movie for eight right hmm i disagree i i remember seeing the movie jurassic park and i was pretty much an adult when

i saw it and i thought it was a fun movie and then when i was i would encounter someone younger than me years later people younger than me that it's a it's a a venerated movie like you know Jurassic Park one of the greatest movies ever made I'm like it's it's okay I remember seeing a post on reddit a few years ago that was like so there's so many CGI movies from the 90s that don't hold up and the CGI looks so bad why does the cgi jurassic park look so good and i just remember thinking does it are you thinking of the puppet parts it actually i think that it i think because of the puppet parts it it does help the cgi parts you know what i mean there are some really i think it still does hold up kind of well i also think they spent more money on it than probably a lot

of these other movies yeah that's true Which is what it really comes down to. How much can you afford? I remember watching the behind the scenes of it and the animators having to learn how to jump like the really fast lizards that were being attacked. They had to, in the studio, several of them run around the room like they were those animals. And I don't think anybody thought that when they signed up to be an animator no they thought they were going to be smoking and drawing one

page at a time drawing Fritz the cat squeezing a boob or whatever oh no the filthy cartoon here's your next over hi Dave Graham and virtual guest this is Ellen from Philadelphia

I just came from the zoo and they're only allowing a certain number of patrons in so it's very quiet and prime for over and I just heard a mom and her small child talking and they ran up to a spot in the river

where you could see green sunfish. And the mom said, oh, that fish looks like daddy. Off I go. She's getting those burns in while dad's not around. Also, it sounded like she was calling from the nightclub. I'm calling from the nightclub that uh yeah i'm calling from the nightclub at the philadelphia zoo the zoo will only let one person at a time but the nightclub it is like crazy i love the pack with zoo animals the whole thing of during the covid restriction with animals being brought and like letting them walk around the zoo i don't know if you

like the penguins just walking around the zoo yeah they should keep doing that they should keep going forward that's something they should keep doing it because it's the best while there's people in the zoo no no no just uh like i think the animal should have more one day a month where they get to take over the zoo yeah it's an animal takeover here at the zoo you're gonna see a lot of blood yeah so the animals are like oh this my world is actually bigger than i thought it was but i'm confined to this one space for most of the time oh fun oh i guess i'll probably forget about that in a few minutes and here's your final overheard hi dave graham and potential guest. I'm calling in with an overheard from Salt Lake

City, Utah. I was just up at Solitude Ski Resort. It was closing day here, so it's kind of fun. Everyone likes to dress up in crazy outfits and have a good time. And I was sitting in the lift line with my sister and brother-in-law and we overheard this guy behind us talking to his friend and he said, oh, hey, look, there's Todd. And his friend said, what? And he said, yeah, you know, there's Todd and, you know, Todd, Mario, Luigi. His friend said, do you mean toad his friend said oh is that that's how you say it

oh I didn't know that it was you know my sister my brother-in-law and I and other people in line

I could tell everyone was having a hard time not laughing out loud but I thought that was pretty funny Todd Mario

Luigi Todd Todd Stuh stool oh hi todd when i do mario kart i'm always taught you gotta be um well that brings us to the end of this podcast this This Toddcast. Yeah. This has been a real Toddcast. Podcast. Would it be better if it was Podcast? There we go. Paul, thank you so much for being our guest. Oh, fellas, thank you for having me.

It's so wonderful to see you, and this was really, really fun. Yeah. And people can hear you on Freedom. You can hear them on the Paul, whoops, sorry, Paul Stay F Homecast. There we go. I got it. Paul Stay F homecast there we go I got it Paul stay F homecast homekins

and homecast well in Graham's defense I did have a show called you've named many shows after your own name well my wife named this one in my defense okay so we're all alright well so we're all being defended here everyone's been defended.

Stay at home... I always say what you said. Stay at home, kids. Freedom. And on the first Monday of every month, I do a live streaming improv show with Lauren Lapkus, courtesy of DynastyTypewriter.com. And the next one is the first Monday in June. I don't remember which date that is,

but I've given you several clues, Mr. Policeman. This is the seventh. This is the 7th. This is the 7th. Thank you very much. And even after things open up, we're going to continue doing live streaming shows. Maybe in a reduced schedule. Maybe not once a month, but once every other month. But one of the things I'm really happy about that came out of the pandemic was doing stuff like this.

It's really cool that normally I would have to be going up to Vancouver to see you guys. And this is nice that we get to do this. So I'm glad that that can continue. Very nice. Should we, at the end of this episode, we talk about the MaxFunDrive one more time? Well, let's just say it right now. This is your last chance. This is it.

If you want to get them gifts, go to MaximumFun.org slash join. We make the show for you listeners. We are very fortunate to have such a generous audience base. And if you want to join the generosity and help support the show, help support the show you love, go to maximumfund.org slash join. We will never mention it again. That's right.

And Dave, you put it as succinctly and beautifully as it could be put. Thank you, everybody, for listening to the show, supporting the show. And you know what? Take care of each other. Take care of yourself. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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