Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 70 - Katie-Ellen Humphries

Episode Date: July 7, 2009

Comedian Katie-Ellen Humphries joins us to talk Community College ads, fluoride, and Denis Leary.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 70 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and joining me as always is the man who wrote the book, like a lampshade in a whorehouse, Dave Shumka. I wrote that?

Didn't you? I've never heard of that. Oh no, it was Phyllis Diller is who I'm thinking of. Oh. Because you told me to introduce you as a comedian. Oh, okay. And I assumed that you wrote that book. But you didn't. That was obscure.

Yeah, too obscure maybe. Yeah, maybe. Should I try a different one? I don't care. I never really buy into these. These situations. And joining us here for a nice what would you call it? What is 70?

Is that a thing if you equate it to human years? It's the leather anniversary. Yeah, the leather anniversary. Here on our leather anniversary, a very funny comedian, Miss Katie Ellen Humphries. Oh, bless your heart. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for having me. Oh, wow.

It's pleasures all around. Dave, pleasures? Yeah. Well, should we get to know us? Sure. Get to know us. So, what's going on? What's happening?

Katie Ellen, or Katie. We can call you Katie, right? Yeah, you can. We've gotten past the hurdle of Ellen. Yeah. Yeah. Much like Anne Heche did, am I right? Up top. He blew through that one.

So what's going on? Tell us what's happening in the life, the day-to-day. It was a big birthday week with Canada Day. Yeah. We were all at a patio party together. Yeah, that's a different birthday. That was the birthday of the very funny Jane Stanton. And then was it your birthday this week? No.

Canada's birthday. Canada. Just Canada and Jane. Canada turned 142 on July 1st. Yeah, doesn't look a day over 138, if you ask me, because of the surgery. Not supposed to talk about that. Probably not. So what did you do on canada day uh i did very little on canada day i uh i went i went for a run because i am been enjoying the out of doors i like to run would you ever run in a like a fun run or a sun run

i think those are inappropriately named i don't know it's that is the opposite of what i like about running they're they're the fun runs are like they're full of people and uh not fun horrible t-shirts it's a great way to meet people is it i uh yeah you should go on like a singles run it's like a singles cruise only sweatier yeah and uh with more potential for injury and you can find people who are your pace that is that is andy that would be a good idea unless you found out that your pace was all senior citizens well i mean and you weren't a senior citizen unless you were attracted to seniors but there's a like i would never go running with um anyone because i'd be afraid that i was i was much slower than they are but if you go to a singles run you find someone who's your

pace and then maybe you make a love connection is that what we're talking about um do you run by yourself yes yes always yeah first thing in the morning when people aren't around or late late at night how do you do it? How do you like to roll? Usually, yeah, evening or sometimes if it's weekend, I'll go in the middle of the day because it's also kind of the only way I get the sunshine on me. Right, right, right. Because I'm not good at the tanning with the sitting around tanning.

Oh, okay, so you've got to be moving. Yeah. Maybe you should start a small farm because then you'd be outside, you'd be moving around and getting a tan. And then think about the vegetables. That's right. Yeah, all in all, it would be a more holistic lifestyle than I'm leading now. I think you are correct.

I have always wanted goats. Yeah? Yeah, but aside from that, I don't care for animals, really. Have you ever milked a goat before? Yeah, goats are the most warm-spirited animals. Have you ever milked a goat? I've never milked anything. Oh, man, it's intenseited animals. Have you ever milked a goat? I've never milked anything. Oh, man, it's intense.

Dave, have you ever milked anything? Maybe when I was a kid, and they make you squeeze the udder when you go to a hobby farm. Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. I went to a place called Butterfield Acres, and I had to milk a goat. And I imagine, and it's only because I have no other reference, aside from my own personal experience, but it's probably what a penis feels like, is what I'm imagining.

Have you never felt a penis? Well, I have one, so yes. Okay. So yes. But there's a different sensation at play there. But I imagine that's what it would be like to be touching a third party appendage right except with the there's no goat attached to it typically not i don't know i don't want to comment

on the circles you guys run in so there's a goat attached to it but you've never milked a goat no i've never milked a goat and i'm not uh i'm not a big hand job giver stop it right now handjob giver. Stop it. To be honest. Stop it. Stop it right now. Well done. Well done, Katie. See, you're sliding right into it. You're figuring out

the pace. I'm telling you to stop it because it's a family. It is a family podcast. We do get mostly emails from families.

Sunday night, download the podcast, transfer it over to the old-timey radio in the living room. Just listen and listen. After Little Orphan Annie? We're between Little Orphan Annie and The Shadow.

Fibber McGee and Molly. So what else is going on? You're doing shows? Are you touring? Are you in town mostly? Day job? No day job? Oh, yes. I do have one of the day jobs.

I work out of my home doing copywriting for post-secondary schools. Oh, wow. Yeah. So what does that mean? It means that there's like between five and six more medical transcriptionists in the continental united states because of me oh hey i thought as much so that's pretty rewarding stuff um so what is a medical transcriptionist but that's not what you do no no no but i told them to go back to school okay like you know those like but like kind of offensive commercials when you're in

the middle of the day and like uh someone of some ethnicity comes on and it's like the black guy yeah and they're like hey you're not doing anything anyway yeah you're just sitting on the couch like a loser why don't you pick up your phone i don't write those but but he comes over and yells at you to write other things but i advertise those schools schools online, and I write career reports and stuff. Douglas College? Yeah. So people, they're looking for schools. Yeah, those types.

A lot of cosmetology. ITT Tech. Do you know, I heard they're recently not as serious about success as they were before. There are some oh, oh, oh, yeah, it's always schools that advertise and that have the terrible songs.

There's one right now that's NTI Community College that is like an emo song. All I know is Sprot Shaw. Community College since 1903. We're not going to sing these songs. No, but those are the lyrics, if anybody's wondering. And then I remember there's this one

for Bartending College. And the lyrics were, I made a slippery nipple and a white Russian, a neutron bomb and a Manhattan, a dry martini and a pina colada a purple hooter and a bahama mama bartending college is the school to attend dial 1-900 bartend that was probably an 800 number

not a 900 number you know what's crazy about bartending bartending college doesn't seem like a thing that you should go to school for. Yeah. Because you would be, in essence, going to school to get a job that people would typically put themselves through school doing. Right, right, right.

Like, when you go to bar, what do you do during the night to put yourself through bartending school? Yeah, I went to nude art class modeling college um yeah so you write advertisements uh do you write jingles or you just no no i think you do no it's it's so much more boring it's just direct marketing so it's like i don't even talk really about the schools i just talk about I just research careers that no one would want to have and then tell people why they would want to have them.

What in your esteem is the number one career that people don't want to have that you are trying to push them into? Oh, well, I personally have trouble pushing IT programs because I don't understand them. And then I have to write these reports like what certifications and things you'll get and i don't know what they mean right they're just like acronyms and i just pretend like i assume who's ever gonna read it knows but i have no idea and i can't figure out a reason like like the only appeal of the job is that like assume you get to sit down and you probably don't like hey don't like moving around

a lot fat so yeah hate sweating dude so oh that's funny so do you like when you have to write like programs in c plus plus does that that doesn't make do you do you minus you take off a plus because you're like oh i think they missed they typoed on the plus two pluses it should just be one plus well i'm starting to get the feel. I've been doing it for a little while. So now my only point of reference for writing about IT courses is having written about them before. Right. But still, it's completely meaningless to me.

Have you seen the British show The IT Crowd? No. So funny. I discovered it a while ago, but I had never seen any full episodes. You can get it on DVD. And if you have to be around things, I'm sure there's a lot of inside jargon on that show. Because it's very funny. And there's stuff I didn't get.

But I'm sure they've put stuff in that's kind of for the IT crowd. Huge spenders. Do they do a thing where there's not IT people? Do you ever watch the wire yes i have i've never seen it but i've heard it's amazing it is amazing but there's often a scene uh with like a couple of drug dealers talking and pandemic yeah but it just so then like a couple scenes later like they're really there it's great show for that they don't really speak down to the audience but a couple scenes later, it's a great show for that they don't really speak down to the audience.

But a couple scenes later, there will be two Irish cops listening to a transcript of the drug dealer conversation and themselves trying to work out what they said as a little nudge to the audience. Like, in case you didn't catch that, this is what that slang means. In the IT crowd, it's not all that complex, but it's two guys that work in the IT department, and the woman who heads up the apartment doesn't know how to use a computer. She's been sent there because she irritates somebody else in the company. So then you kind of get the explanations through that mechanism.

But, yeah, very funny show. I didn't mean to sidetrack anything by bringing up the explanations through that mechanism. But yeah, very funny show. I didn't mean to sidetrack anything by bringing up the show that I saw this week on TV. That's fine. Hey, we're just about sharing. Yeah. And yeah. So you're doing that. How's the comedy going?

It's going pretty well. I'm, you know, sometimes I get a little sidetracked by those mundane, more real-life stuff, but I'm trying to get out as much as I can, and I'm getting a lot of good support, so I'm getting some stage time. Summer really is the best time for comedy. It really is. People come in from the patios. They're hungry for witticisms.

It's still light out. Yeah. The quirky foibles of everyday life they want to hear them they want you to shovel them into their brain everybody's hot they uh they're uncomfortable hot for teaching um uh that's i think is is quickly becoming my my new uh favorite breed of comic to hate is the comic as teacher persona. That is becoming the comic that's, I'm going to educate you on the, that now is becoming a thing that if I even hear the word educate or anything to that effect,

I'm already dropped out. I'm kind of like that. I consider myself more of a prophet. And you do a lot of hip-hop stuff to engage the urban youth so that they can learn. Get the youth vote. Dave, what's going on with you? Well... Oh, last week.

Puberty. Started getting hair where there was no hair. That's a confusing time. I've been developing feelings for ladies. I went to see the movie Up. Have you seen the movie Up? No, I've heard nothing but good things. But I've also heard nothing, like just the vaguest, you should see it, it's great.

I know nothing else about it, aside from the title. that's where you should leave it you enjoyed it yeah should we leave it there is that what you're saying i wouldn't i wouldn't want to because i didn't know anything about it going in i knew that it was about house with balloons on it and that was it oh i knew everyone i heard oh it is delightful told me I would cry a bunch. Did you? And I did. Oh, man. It is.

I don't think I've been to a movie. And when was the last time that you were at a movie where the notion of crying at it even popped into your head? Forrest Gump, I think. It might have been. Maybe a Forrest Gump. For me, maybe it was something that came out in 1999. It was a cartoon that I shouldn't have been watching with such sensitivity. A la my Lion King story two weeks ago. Save it.

But you got all choked up in it? Oh, thrice. Yeah. It's easily the best. I'm very unconvinced that there's going to be a better movie than Up this year. I don't know if it's possible. Have you seen Dance Flick? No, and I haven't seen...

What is that one with my brother's sister? Oh, My Sister's Keeper. My sister's uncle. That one looks great. Yeah. Because they my sister's keeper. My sister's uncle. That one looks great. Yeah. Because they do a little routine. What's your sign? I'm a cancer.

Oh, I'm a whatever. No, I have cancer. And then, never mind. I've only seen the previews. But then everyone at the table boos them. Here's the thing. Is it a vaudeville act? Yeah, it's a vaudeville act.

But it takes place... The whole movie is kind of like an Avidon Costello thing. Versus Avidon Costello versus the bone marrow. What a caper. My co-worker, Erica Sigurdsson, seems hell-bent on going to every single movie but Up. Like, I've told her that Up is the movie to see. She, in the meantime, has gone to see The Proposal, the John Dillinger one, whatever the hell that's called. Public Enemies.

I thought that was the Flava Flav picture. I believe two other films in the time that I've told her that Up is the best movie out there now she has gone out of her way to go to everything but and tell me how great all those movies were she said the proposal is fantastic

so you can see how hard a job I have what are your thoughts on Sandra Bullock what do i think of her as a person um have you ever been attracted to her uh probably in that movie that she was in with uh speed um not speed the one where she does speed yeah the one she goes to recovery what was that movie called uh go no it wasn't that was sarah paul 28 days yeah yeah that one she was hot in there because i i she's one of the people that um i've never uh really gotten it and i think there's some you never really got in it or gotten it? I've never really gotten it. Got in it?

Yeah. Okay. Got up in there. And I feel like there are women who women, other women just assume or other women tell us are beautiful or desirable. But most men are like, oh, who cares i find that i place megan fox in that category i feel like i'm being sold her as as an item that i should be attracted to and i'm not so i buy that you're not but you must like it's not you must not be surprised when you see the photo shoot of her like glistening and you're like oh yeah yeah yeah

i get it but only from the point that uh like she's attractive but not in a way that garn like she's attractive in the same way that if i was walking past the lineup at celebrities i would see somebody who i think is equally as attractive as Megan Fox. I feel like she looks the kind of attractive that a dude would see, but know that he wasn't supposed to be attracted to her. Like, you know... Forbidden fruit. It's going to sound horrible. When a young girl, because her tits come in first,

so she's super young, So she's like super young. So she's got these huge guns, but she has no other features of a woman like hips or like she's not self-esteem yet. Like those kinds of things. So you can't stop looking at those. But I feel like that's what Megan Fox looks like. Like she looks like the rest of her body hasn't really caught up. Because she's really young in the face and the whole body is really young and she's not very curvy but she has these huge tits and yeah that huge are they but to me the the thing is like uh

i noticed these things the the amount of uh salivating done over her uh is it feels to me is entirely unwarranted given that like i say like i feel like i could walk down any major street in any major city and find somebody as or more attractive than megan fox easily and i mean we're talking about somebody who's most of the photos you ever see of her incredibly touched up like uh beyond all recognition of what she can't get rid of that dead behind the eyes look yeah there's nothing but uh sandra bullock she's like she seems i would say that she's presented as like the girl next door but i'm like that's not to, somebody like Janine Garofalo is the girl next door. That's like a more authentic version of that.

Have you ever seen the show Breaking Bad? No, but having you mention it on the podcast has added it to my list of things to do. Great show. And in the second season, there's one of the major characters, next door neighbor. She's very cute, but it's very, it's very foreseeable that you would live next door, but you would never live next door to a Sandra Bullock. And if you did, she would move to Hollywood

to be Sandra Bullock, and you would never see her again. Was she in the lake house? Was that one of the one with the magic mailbox? My parents liked that movie. Was she in that? Time travel mailbox. And Keanu Reeves? Keanu Reeves was in it. Oh, that was the follow-up to Speed.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I found that so surprising that that was a film marketed to adults. Because I read a lot of books when I was in elementary school, and they would largely do that time travel thing to like fool you into learning about like like barkerville yeah you're strange new are you there god it's me mailbox yeah um there'd be like a magic watch someone would wear but uh sandra bullock i put there's um like a julia roberts who uh i get it she's a lady, doesn't do anything for me.

Or like a Gwyneth Paltrow, always see her on the cover of magazines, I don't get it. Yeah. A Sarah Jessica Parker horse face. So Sarah Jessica Parker, I had this explained to me, because I actually asked, why Sarah Jessica Parker? asked, why Sarah Jessica Parker? And I was told that Sarah Jessica Parker is for the ladies.

The ladies claim her as one of their own. She's not the best looking woman, but she's not unattractive, and she dresses really well. She wasn't unattractive. Now she might be.

Now she is. But women claim her as one of their own. Megan Fox is not somebody that women would claim any kind of sisterhood with, I wouldn't think. Have I met her? I think probably they would. My favorite fact about Megan Fox, she dated Brian Austin Green for quite a while. She sure did. And now she's doing it with what's-his-head?

Efron or LeBuff? Efron. Nobody's doing it with LeBuff. I've heard... I don't think a female is doing it with Efron either. Oh, you think he's of the gay squadron? Well, I don't like to think so because I'm a... Well, don't like to think...

There's no reason to be invested in the boy's life at all. Yeah. I don't like the conspiracy theories of like, no, he's gay, but they make him date women because no one would go see a high school musical about a gay person. Yeah, but that's... I don't...

Except the gay person, the gay character in a high school musical. I don't think that anybody would be shocked if he was gay. But you're right. He wouldn't be as saleable in the the hollywood marketplace same with hugh jackman i mean whether or not that guy is gay he's gay i mean you know what i mean like but they're doing a lot to cover up the fact that he's that he is gay like i mean he might not live a gay lifestyle, but as far as everybody's concerned,

he is a gay man. There have always been people who, celebrities, who get branded with that. Your Ricky Martins. Although Ricky Martin's pretty gay. Yeah. Although you could say there aren't everyone on that list. But I think...

On the arbitrary list we're making about celebrities that seem kind of gay? I think Zac Efron is very attractive. Is that what we're making about celebrities that seem kind of gay i think Zac Efron uh is very attractive was that what we're talking about yeah he's dreamy he's very dreamy oh yeah was that the problem um here's the another thing about but i oh sorry you had a fact megan megan fox i don't know i probably mentioned this on the podcast. She dated Brian Austin Green for a while. And in an interview, someone asked her about her tattoos. And she listed off all the tattoos she has.

And in her words, she said that she has her boyfriend's name tattooed next to her, quote, pie. Ew. I'm not. That's how she talks and it's brian austin green so it says bag presumably it's just the initials i i don't know i haven't seen it i have a bag next to my pie oh man this is why wasn't this gutter talk on episode 69? How did we keep that up? Well, because we didn't have handjob McTits over here. Somebody wrote a really interesting review of Transformers 2, and I'm trying to remember what the website is. I'll find it.

We'll post it on the blog, maybe, because the review is really, it was like the most positive spin you could put on Transformers 2. He says like it's the first movie he's ever seen that has no plot and it's just this orgy of action. But the way that he characterizes Shia LaBeouf is he's like,

the reason Shia LaBeouf is in movies is to make loser kids and stuff and nerds and dorks feel like, well, at least I'm not Shia LaBeouf. Like, at least I'm not that douchebag. And I never, because I could never figure it out in my head. Why is he in so many movies? Why do they put him in these action roles where he's patently unbelievable?

But then once that person said it, that crystallized it for me. He is the person that you are allowed to hate and feel superior to. Because when he's teamed up with Megan Fox, there's no way that never is a match that's ever going to happen. So you can look at that and be like, well, now I know it's completely fictionalized. There's no way he would be with her. So I can still enjoy the fantasy of a Megan Fox without him muddying it up

that's why they could never put a Zac Efron and a Megan Fox together in a movie because it looks too perfect it looks like they belong together whereas Shia LaBeouf looks like an interloper yeah that guy's never going to live happily ever after they did give him a very strange transition from like

because before movies he was like that really annoying younger brother character on a disney show and it was just like always mucking stuff up with this being annoying wasn't the show called mucking i'm pretty sure i believe he was ben savage's body double. Hey, Graham. Let's get to know you. Why not? Well, I mean, the most fun I had all week was when we were all three of us together

and a bunch of our other comedy folk and friends were all together in a pre-Canada Jane's Birthday barbecue where Dave and I descended into a giggle fit over a broken bench because dave originally when the bench got broken i stood up and started singing uh to the parliament funkadelic song uh dave broke the bench what was it dave broke the bench just sing it it was dave broke the bench wow dave broke the bench and i was clapping and everybody started uh kind of singing it so it was uh but then later jane sat down and that was dave's opportunity to sneak in and blame the breaking of the bench on jane well because it seemed like

because i didn't do anything specifically to break the bench i uncrossed my legs and the bench fell. And so I assumed that Jane had broken it like a week earlier. So it became Jane broke the bench about a week ago. She took a nap. She had a night terror. So

that was, it was quite a giggle fit. It was a giggle fit. And oh, the food was so good. Did you have any of the food? You came fit. It was a giggle fit. And, oh, the food was so good. Did you have any of the food? You came late. I did. I arrived late. And you shared your beer with me, which was very, very kind of you.

And thank you very much. Hey, anytime. I didn't get any beer. Well, you had to sit in the right, we're drinking actually, by the way, because anybody's wondering, we're drinking Dos Equis, which we've decided is probably the beer it's for four douchebags yeah possibly by douchebags but definitely four douchebags um because of the campaign with the uh world's most interesting man yeah it's the ax body spray of beers yeah but we're drinking it. Just like I drank Axe Body Spray last week. Same diff.

So there's that. I'm watching halfway through the movie Man on Wire, which I had to stop and come. Have you seen Man on Wire? No. It's about a guy who in the 70s walked a tightrope between the World Trade Centers.

Now this was pre-9-11? Yes. Pre-pre pre-9-11? Yes. Pre-pre-pre-9-11. And, yeah, it was, like, really... It's an amazing story, because it was all illegal. Like, you had to do it under cover of night,

and the way they got the wire across was they used an arrow to shoot it from one tower to the other. It's an amazing story. It's a documentary. But they have all this... They really documented the stuff back then quite well. All of his training.

He never wears a shirt. Yeah, but if I had a body like his, I'd be sitting shirtless right now. Point of fact. He was like a butter-faced Zac Efron. A guy lives across from me. I've never once seen him wear a shirt. Is it a good scene or a bad scene?

No, it's amazing. Oh, yeah? Yeah, it's a good time. Yeah, the way that the balcony is, I originally believed that he was wearing no clothing at all. Oh, wow. And I was like, hot naked guy, all right. That's not bad. It's was like, hot naked guy. All right. That's not bad.

It's not bad. That's right. Because they don't, the great thing is you don't get charged extra rent for that. That's just part of the deal. Yeah. They don't take that into account and go, oh, wait a minute. We didn't realize he had a view of a hot naked guy. If you have cable and you get a naked channel, that's like 20 extra bucks a month.

Yeah. 20 bucks well spent. Yeah. P.S. that's like 20 extra bucks a month. Yeah. 20 bucks well spent. Yeah.

P.S. And the other, I guess, yeah, it's just, it was a weird week, and you work from home, and you work from home, so I was the only one that had work day, work day, Canada Day in the middle of the week, work day, work day. That just fucked everything up. Our American listeners, today we're actually recording on july 4th so they would never do they would never do that i would i

i think they would somehow jerry ring it would they ever just have the one day off in the middle of the week i think yeah if it was a wednesday it's because it's the fourth i mean for us i don't know why we don't move ours. Because, like, you know, it's like Victoria Day. We don't celebrate it on Queen Victoria's birthday. We put it on a Monday. Right, right. We always make it a long weekend. But the fact that it's the 4th, and I'm, I mean, I'm assuming now, because I'm not American, I'm just putting this idea on them.

Yeah. But I'm saying, as the not authority, that the fact that it's the 4th is important to them and it's much more of a daytime it's like a big family day down there yeah but then they have the fireworks at night something to do with going out on a boat

riding on a pony macaroni but yeah so that was weird it was weird because i feel like every it felt like i was the designated driver of the whole city like that everybody got drunk that night and the next morning usually there's a lot of hustle and bustle uh on my walk to work zero hustle zero bustle this is just. So it was like 28 days later. No, it was like I was the only one who decided to go to work the next day.

I am a legend. Everybody was like, yeah, I'm just going to phone it in. Is that what happens when I am a legend? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the hangover on a scary level. On steroids. But don't you find when they have,

there's like Canada Day and St. Patrick's Day where there's people who and they just feel like completely obligated i gotta go they have to get drunk new year's eve yeah but you always get the day off after that's right oh touche uh and like you know i i will get shithoused on a tuesday and go to work because i that that's because you have deep problems i make bad choices but then there's people and they don't make that choice except for twice a year and they come in hungover oh you mean you'll get drunk every tuesday well off not every tuesday i'm not an animal basically you're you're

well trained they're amateur level yeah and i'm so frustrated with their hangover because they're so bad at it and they won't shut hangover because they're so bad at it. They won't shut up about it. That's a good point. They're so ornery and I'm like, yeah, it's shitty, right? And that's what I felt like. I felt like I was the only one that decided to pack it in at 10, 30, or 11.

Try for some good sleep. Didn't happen. Parties all around the neighborhood. I found that I can't uh i can't drink alcohol at night anymore i yet you wear your sunglasses at night well so i can so i can something something uh but i get dehydrated so i i only drink alcohol in the daytime, but every day time. Yeah. And pop is out too. Really? Yeah. I gave up pop ages ago.

That is a I am out. I'm not into it. All right. Feels like, well, too old. Yeah, I feel like... I got too many dentist bills to worry about. What's your take on pop? I never drank pop. As a kid, I feel like... I got too many dentist bills to worry about. What's your take on pop? I never drank pop as a kid.

I don't care for carbonation. And so I didn't... Whoa, what? It seems like I didn't drink pop as a kid. I wasn't allowed. I didn't drink pop when I was a kid because I was an old woman.

Too futuristic. I mean, I'm not morally opposed to it. I just didn't like it in my mouth. That's what she said. Come on. Come on. I only started drinking pop when you would go to the bar and I would get like a Ryan Coke. But then every once in a while I would have someone...

You only started drinking pop after you started drinking alcohol. I mean, I must have, I like tasted it, but I would never drink it for, like, pleasure? I didn't enjoy it as a beverage. What did you drink then? Juice? Yeah, a lot of juice. Water? Did you find pop too sweet?

Yeah, it's pretty sweet. No, it's super sweet, but it's... When I was a kid... Saying it's too sweet is one thing. Saying that the carbonation was overwhelming. But because it's not thirst quenching, and it's a beverage. You're drinking beer right now. Yeah, but I have come to love that. I didn't...

You know, there's no payoff with soda. Sure. That's true. But then after... Unless you put Mentos in it. Then there's yeah payoff well i would have coke and i would be like there's something off about your pop it tastes terrible and then i there's no rye in it and that's what i think pop tastes like i feel like pop is a thing

that i'm oh i'm that it's like a phase that you go through. And I'm always surprised. It's the same way that I feel about an inline roller skate, like rollerblades. It feels like a thing that you should leave behind in childhood. Whenever I see adults drinking pop, it's very bizarre to me. That feels like a thing like you should have left. It feels like a thing that is truly a thing that kids enjoy. Maybe I'm way off on that.

Because I know people get a Diet Coke with dinner. That's fine. But when you just see somebody drinking a lot of pop. Like a Big Gulp? Well, Diet Coke is one thing. Because it's just some kind of beverage. It doesn't have sugar in it, it's probably not good for you, but, you know, whatever. It's a good pairing with a dinner. Gotta drink something.

But when you see, like, an adult drinking a pop, like, what kind of amazing health plan do you have that you can... It's like drinking a bag of sugar every time, And I love sugar. But I couldn't drink a bag of sugar. Well, maybe I could. I don't know. I drink a lot of water now. And I found out Vancouver is one of the only major metropolitan areas in North America that

doesn't have fluoride in the water. Tell me about it. Tell my cavities about it. Why is there so much dentist talk? Is it me that keeps bringing it back up? I don't know. How's your dentist? He's alright. But I have got a lot more cavities since moving here. So now I have to rinse with fluoride

and pop. Maybe I've got a shitty dentist. Where do you get fluoride? It's like a mouthwash thing and you just rinse your mouth with it once a day. Twice a day. You have it with dinner. It's like an aperitif. Cool. I've got one you brush on after brushing.

Oh, that's fun. So it's like two brushings. Is that at a drugstore? Yeah, yeah. By prescription only. No, over the counter. The fluoride thing, that's the weird... My friend, who is now a lawyer, was involved in some weird law case, doing the research

for a law case about the fluoridization of water in Calgary, because the science behind it kind of says, it is good for your teeth, but also your body only needs this much fluoride and if you're drinking this much fluoride your body doesn't know what to do with it it's kind of like people that take those giant vitamin supplements and then like i don't know if you have you ever taken like one of the super vitamins no and then you pee and it's like neon yellow have you ever had that no ever had that i have, yeah. Yeah. So that's your body telling you, I didn't need 90% of what you had in that pill. I needed 10% and the rest of it, super expensive urination. So, a little science for you.

I feel like we covered a lot, a wide span of topics there. I wouldn't call it a span so much as a scatter shot. I still feel like I learned a lot like a wide span of topics there i wouldn't call it a span so much as like a scatter shot i still feel like i learned a lot do you want to move on to overheard sure overheard all right uh so overheards if this is your first time listening to the podcast my goodness why would you start at episode 70 yeah Backtrack it. Figure out what we're all about. But overheards. Things overheard in many arenas in life. Your bus ride.

The office you work at. The supermarket. The supermarché. The couche-tard. Et cetera. The dépanneur. The dépanneur. The bibliothèque.

And we'll start with Katie. You say youotech. And we'll start with Katie. You say you have two, so we'll start with you. Kind of move around the overheard landscape and bring it back to you to bookend it. Fantastic. This is an overheard that happened. I was walking from my house to the aforementioned Jane Stanton's house, and she lives about six blocks. And about halfway there i passed this

mother daughter team and they're walking a very small dog and what i liked about this one i caught nothing except one thing the girl said and one thing her mother said and the only context i could come up with was maybe that the daughter was describing one of those uh those folded fortune teller things that you would make as a kid and maybe this was one of the fortunes because i just hear the girl say to the mother three of your relatives will die of malaria and the mother repeats it with laughter punctuation like three of your relatives will die of malaria. I was like, you're either the most glib family ever

or maybe your relatives are terrible. It was Andy and Barry Glib. Or the other context is like maybe the girl has just gotten into playing Oregon Trail. Oh! What is Oregon Trail?

How do you play that? It's the text adventure educational video game about pioneers out west. Is that where they ate each other? Well, you start off, you say whether you're a lawyer, a poor person, or another poor person.

So you pick lawyer because you get more money. And then you're starting off in Missouri and you have to make it to Oregon. Where is it where the wagon train, they got stuck on the mountain? They had to eat each other? It was the Donner Party. The Donner Party. But I don't know what mountain it was where they got... Anyways, not related, I don't think, too.

Anyways. Man, it's hot. It's hot today. It's a hot July 4th. Dave, what do you got in the way of overheard? Well, the other day I was at Bilo Foods. Oh, yeah. One of our...

It's like No Frills if you live out east. Sure, yeah. One of our more run-down... Frills if you live out east. Sure, yeah. One of our more run-down... But less frills than No Frills. Supermarkets. There was a lady, and she was... First, everyone just heard her yelling. Yeah.

And she was saying, Let go of me. I didn't steal anything. I didn't do nothing. And just from looking at her, she did it. Guilty as charged. And there's an office near the front door. And they brought her to that office.

And the person there said to take her back. And she kept yelling, yeah, I didn't do nothing. And then quietly under her breath, she goes, unhand me. That sounds like she was a time traveler. Right, yeah. Who came there. She thought, it's the marketplace, right? She's going to pay.

The Grand Bazaar. Yeah, she was going to get a fat goose. And, yeah, unhand me. And then what you didn't realize is you left then. That's when she pulled out a broadsword, cut off the dude's head. She pulled out a broom and flew away. My overheard's from a supermarket as well, but I wanted to share this kind of overseen from my package of gum that I purchased

on the way over here. It's an Excel gum, and it's Canadian collector's package. It's got Martin Brodeur is on the package of gum. It's the official gum. A portion of our proceeds support the Canadian Olympic team.

Vancouver 2010, official sponsor gum. It says official supplier of gum to the games. And then you open up, check this out, right? I open it up. Look, all the gum's got little maple leaves on it.

That is patriotic gum. That's pretty good, right? It's like my tattoos. On the back, the program that they are part of is called CHU. Canadians Helping Each Other Win. Canadians Helping Each Other Win.

Have you? Yes. They could have said Canadians Helping Everyone Win. Sure. And it would have fucking worked beautifully but each other is two words oh you idiots have you seen the gum ad i forget what brand it is um with there's a guy and he's uh he's being followed by these things that smell bad these animated he's got an onion a little donut and a coffee yeah it could be well it's not. He's got an onion, a little... A donut and a coffee? Yeah. It could be.

Well, it's not Excel. It's not part of their chew. But, like, I would... Obviously, an onion breath or coffee breath is terrible. But have you ever known anyone to have donut breath? It seems like it would be great breath. It seems like a lot of gum actually smells like you just ate a donut. Yeah.

You're like, oh, it's vanilla. I don't know. Do you smell baked goods? smells like you just ate a donut. You're like, oh, it's vanilla. Do you smell baked goods? What does a baked good smell like after it's been in a person's mouth with a coffee and an onion?

What did that guy do? He just ate an onion and a coffee? The donut is so cute in that commercial. Those are the smells that stuck with him. Yeah, I would love donut breath. You know what's weird about that commercial? You don't see the guy. You're seeing his little animated friends the whole time.

Then the camera kind of pans up and shows his friend who's hosting the party that he's going to. She's quite good looking. And then you finally reveal the guy. You imagine, because his friend is so good looking, that he is also going to be quite a catch and he's not he's the gum he's got going for him you were expecting an afron

but my overheard maybe that can stand does that stand as an overseen should I just move along let's see what else you got mine's also from a grocery store. This morning, I was in line, and I was waiting for my things to be scanned through,

and the guy I was standing next to was in workout gear that looked like it was right off the rack, like brand-new shoes, brand-new shorts, really kind of a shirt made of some kind of space age material. Yeah, material. No sleeves. And he looked very much like he could be the guy that heads up human resources or, you know, kind of vice principal type. Like very straight and narrow, but had one tattoo, and it looked like a portal to

another dimension, and then some Japanese letters. And I kept staring at the tattoo and just thinking, like, oh, that's one of those things that, you know, he went to Japan for a year, got the tattoo, doesn't fit his lifestyle at all. This is his workout gear. It's the only time it's exposed. He's probably kind of embarrassed about it. And just as I'm fixated on this tattoo, he sees a friend of his out in the mall part,

and she yells out at him and goes, hey, is that new? And pointing at her arm to indicate his tattoo. And he goes, no, I'm going to get a lot more. And he goes, no, I'm going to get a lot more. So I was wrong. No, I don't understand your question. I find it weird when people don't regret their tattoos. I feel like I would like to see a return to tattoos as a lifestyle thing. Like that lady that has the tattoo thing where she's got tattoos on her face.

What's that show called? Miami Ink? Yeah. LA Ink? Yeah, LA Ink. LA Ink. Kat Von D. Yeah, she's somebody who's decided, like, I have tattoos.

That's going to be my lifestyle. It's a tattoo kind of lifestyle. I would like to see a return to that, where if you have tattoos, you're also somebody that lives a certain way. What I love about that show is that they decided every tattoo has a story. Let's make a whole show about those stories. Have you ever wanted to hear one of those stories? No. The most interaction I've ever wanted to have about a tattoo is if I've seen somebody who has one that I think looks really neat, I go, hey, neat tattoo.

And then they go, thanks. And that's it. That's the entire conversation I want to have about any do you have any tattoos katie i don't i admire tattoos very well i admire some tattoos very much like that that lifestyle choice style of tattoo like a lot of the whole sleeve it's quite striking when you see it in that i just think like if you're gonna get get one on your foot, don't bother and use that money to buy yourself a coat that everybody can see.

But you know, if you're going to do the tattoo and get a big tattoo, just go full bore and be one of those tattoo people. I saw a foot tattoo today that I remember thinking it's weird when people get rosary beads and it makes them look sluttier.

it's weird when people get rosary beads and it makes them look sluttier. True enough. Do we want to do some listener? Oh, wait, you have a second. Do we want to bookend the whole segment with her? Or just this round? That's risky. Okay, let's go with you.

I think you've chosen the better path, if I go now. Okay. And I will. I was on've chosen the better path, if I go now. Okay. And I will. I was on the ferry going from Vancouver to Victoria. A ferry is like a big boat. It's a large boat. That's right.

It's like a cruise, but not like a pleasure cruise. Yeah. Vancouver is a maritime community. Like that boat that you see when it comes into Ellis Island. Sure, yeah. But with only white people on it. Yeah, exactly. A few immigrants. Ellis Island. Sure, yeah. But with only white people on it. Yeah, exactly.

And I was on the outside deck and there was a gentleman with two small kids, the smallest one being about six, and he had like a participatory ribbon This is going well so far. Clipped on his shirt, and his face was either like pretty dirty or had the remnants of some face

paint and he had a little a little pouch like kids do like they collect like marbles and coins and stuff and he was playing with it and was making the noise that marbles and coins and stuff making his dad yes i think that's it his dad was i, I guess, getting irritated. And he says, I'm going to throw that overboard. And the kid starts doing nunchucks with it. And the next thing I hear is from the dad when he says, ha, hit yourself in the head. And the kid just like about faces and he walks off and he does that cute thing where kid is like humiliated and trying not to cry so he's like oh mad and he storms off which i thought was adorable because you cannot run away on a boat yeah that's true and about a minute later he comes back to his his dad and his older

brother he's like guys because they didn't go looking for him right right right come on and dad's like all right if you do 10 push-ups best parenting style ever and the kid's like no he's like all right six push-ups yes did he do them no and the whole time the other brother's like yeah yeah push-ups push-ups yeah 10 push-ups the kid just looked like he was just gonna break in half like he just couldn't take another day. I feel like if I ever had kids, push-ups would be a regular part of my parenting routine. Sure, yeah. Push-ups, not doing them, administering them. Doing push-ups vicariously.

Those are two very good overheards. Thank you very much. Thank you for saying so. We have some listeners who wrote in some overheards. This first one. This is from Daniel from Portland, Oregon. My lady friend and I lounged at the beach the other day surrounded by a bunch of high school kids. The closest group of shirtless boys around us spent most of the time wrestling and throwing each other in the water.

A few hours later, they passed us while heading back to their car. Kid number one said, I'm hungry. Let's get Taco Bell. Kid number two quickly turned indignant and replied, fuck that. Taco Bell is so gay, you homo. We're going to Jack in the Box. Which, if you think about it, Jack in the Box sounds like the gayer of the two. Depends how you define box or pie

um this is from uh paul m of oakland california uh i was in an electronic store looking at a display of video games in the same general area of the store there was a tv showing an episode of john and kate plus eight a woman was watching the show alone and was then approached by a large bearded man. After watching for a few minutes, the man said, does this lady have kids or something? And then added, I don't get this show. I agree with the bearded man. And then, oh, okay. This is from

somebody named Gabe from Queens, New York. Now this is one of the crazier overheards that we've received. So one night I was walking past a lesbian bar in Brooklyn called Catty Shack.

As I approached, a sturdy, dreadlocked woman exited the bar with a cell phone to her ear. As it was late, dark, and this bar is a little off the beaten path, she didn't seem to notice me at first. But we locked eyes at the final word of the following statement. No, no, no, no, baby. I know it in my heart of hearts. I can feel it. You're gonna be okay. you didn't kill a guy you paid a guy to kill a guy

is that not that's terrifying isn't it no she's gonna to be alright. I think Dave's having laugh terrors. When I read that, it shocked me. I was shocked. I am shocked by

her naivete. You will not be okay. Dave frowned on that very much. He was just trying to calm her down so he could call the cops. About the murder. Now, have you seen the movie The Hangover? No.

I won't do this next overheard because it does give away a very crucial plot point of The Hangover. But I just wanted to say, I won't read the email in detail. It's from a gal named Sophie who's in Ontario, but she sent us a very nice email about how much

she loves the show and how kind of... She's in the awkward teenage years in an awkward situation, and her show, she enjoys it. Gives her a little laughter. And I'd like to say thank you very much, whoops, for writing in. Because that really, that made Dave and I's week. Well, I mean, I don't know how Dave's week was, but mine wasn't that great. So it really made my week, so thank you for

writing in, Sophie. And chin up. Okay, we have some called-in overheards. Why don't we listen to them? I'm excited. Hey guys, it's Patrick from Calgary and I have an overheard for you. I was recently in New York and I was at the Natural History Museum walking around the dinosaur exhibit

and I got near the end and I saw a woman and her boyfriend walking around and the woman said to her boyfriend, I don't know what to think about all these dinosaurs. I mean, they could be totally fake, like the moon landing. All right, well, let it show. At the very minimum, that's going to inspire some sort of controversial debate amongst that couple, no?

Yeah, sure. Well, yeah, because the moon landing, no? Yeah, sure. Well, yeah, because the moon landing, fake. Yeah, dinosaur bones. Well, I don't know what to think. I wonder if any of our listeners are confused about dinosaur bones.

I wonder if we... I think the majority of our listeners are confused about their new body hair and dinosaurs. That, by the way, that was a call from my brother in Calgary. Yeah, if you're a brother of one of us, please identify yourself as such. It's nice. It was very nice to hear his voice.

That's my brother. He just, like a month ago, finished his exams to be an accountant. And so he is now well on the road to being like a high-powered accountant. And he will bury me in the success ratio in the family competition. So thanks for calling in, Patch. Patch. Yeah. It's folksy.

Suck on this. Hey, Graham and Dave. I'm driving and i'm behind a car that has letters on it that uh they're like stickers that someone put on and it says jason pedrick rogers is not my bastard son i'll pay for dna testing they won't allow it uh i just thought that was pretty cool to see. Good work, guys. This is a disturbing episode. Yeah, take it to the streets. You got that message. What was the vanity plate that we saw? It was on a Ferrari?

It was on a Corvette. Oh, it was a Corvette. And it said Raptor. Raptor. And you said something very funny. You said... Oh, because whoever has that vanity plate wants people to know that they're not just a rapper.

They're an actor. There's so much more. Uh, how about one more? Yeah. Graham and Dave, this is Todd, the pokey bumper.

I'm calling with a delicious over steam. Uh, a couple of weeks ago, my wife and I were walking in downtown Pocatello, Idaho, where I live, and we passed by a photographer's studio after hours, and in the giant window, the photographer displayed certain pictures that that gallery had taken. And it was about three months ago, so we're looking at March, April. So people were getting ready for senior pictures for graduation and things like that. So I saw a collage of this

one young man who looked kind of scrawny, but also had a moth of brown hair. And the thing that was funny was, is it had along the bottom, it had three photos that were like a progression right in a row. And this is the part that was hilarious. The first picture was him

in a kayak holding the paddles or whatever you hold when you're in a kayak. The next picture was him holding as if to strum an acoustic guitar. And then the last picture was him holding as if to strum an acoustic guitar and then the last picture was him in the kayak holding an acoustic guitar because we all know that when you're kayaking sometimes it's nice

to pretend you're jack johnson anyway love the podcast take care bye and vice versa sometimes it's nice if you're jack johnson to get out in a kayak um when you graduated did you get uh fancy pictures done like we were encouraged to bring props and personalize it no we were no ours were very i i uh got my friends roses because the girls got roses and the boys got a diploma because girls that's so smart most of them didn't graduate they got a diploma because girls that's so smart yeah most of them didn't graduate they got a rolling pin and uh was it the same in your school it was the same yeah and we were not encouraged like school was like it was a very uh tailored to the trades high school like you went to a tech high no i went to a lower middle class neighborhood

high school where they're like we have a really great career prep for mechanics so we had nothing like that in my school anyways go on oh and uh so yeah that that sort of like oh make it your own was like not not really encouraged because that's not the way forward for that demographic. Yeah, don't you dare get pictures taken of you doing something. Nope. Of you fake doing something. Ours was very, yeah, you got, you know, boys in blue, girls in pink. We got to, like, yeah, choose a color of robe. But you had to get a black and white one for the annual.

But you could wear maroon for your own if you wanted to. Yeah, mine... People could bring props or their soccer uniform. Some people brought their babies, actually. That was the prop you were allowed to bring. I see.

Oh, we have one more did you prop? you can't leave me hanging we just felt that you topped it there with the baby line I didn't prop I would have brought a sign that says can we please get this over with

I'm a teenager I thought my way out of having the pictures was because there was a message sent out to all the students that you had to have a a shirt and a tie and so i just showed up without and i said oh i guess i guess i'm not getting my pictures taken and then i had to wear this like standard shirt and tie that the photographer has with him at all okay, like if you go to a restaurant and you need to wear a jacket. So I wore the community outfit underneath my robe, which was also a community robe.

Oh, man. Or the store socks. Store socks. Hey, stop podcasting yourself. This is Minnesota Super Bumper KT calling with an overheard. I was just at my local mall and they overheard

a lady on the phone with what I assume was her husband, and the conversation went like this. You let me because you love me. What's that? I can buy a new purse if you can buy a new gun? Hope you enjoy it. Have a great day. You can pry my purse out of my cold, dead hands is what you can do. Thank you, KT. I forgot to mention this, oh, three or four weeks ago, when KT wrote in and asked us to give a shout-out to her friend Anna in Germany. What up, Anna in Germany?

Check out your shout-out. You can edit out. Here's your edit point for your new ringtone. Exactly. Edit point now. So before we move on, a lot of our listeners probably, I'm assuming, may have heard of The Sound of Young America. If you haven't, here's a good introduction to it. And enjoy listening to this.

Hi, Jesse Thorne here, host and producer of The Sound of Young America. Our show's been such a successful podcast that some people don't know that it's also a nationally syndicated public radio program. With that in mind, I make sure to approach my interviews with the dispassionate objectivity

that's expected of all good public radio journalists. Like when I spoke with the writers of The Late Show with David Letterman. I've been thinking a lot lately, probably too much, Thank you. about that a lot. Check out The Sound of Young America and a whole bunch of other podcasts at MaximumFun.org. Okay, so let's do a segment we haven't done in a little while. And I miss it. It's something like I didn't realize we hadn't done it

in so long, but I realized that each and every week there's things that could have easily been slotted into this. And it's a little segment we like to call,'t get me started you can punch me in the belly you can call me retarded but don't get me started all right so uh when something's sticking in your craw you get something stuck in your craw something that you really really is making you angry every time you hear it.

Graham. Hey, what's up with this Michael Jackson coverage? Oh man, don't get me started on the Michael Jackson news coverage. Here's the thing. We're all very familiar with Michael Jackson's catalog of work. Every time that you do a story about him,

you don't have to reference one of the titles of his songs we get it we know who michael jackson is uh the thriller is gone very clever of you last night on abc they did coverage it was michael jackson remember the time that's not even a hit that's just a thing with the word remember in it you picked a b-side song just to make remember the time what time you're talking about the whole his life time so it's uh enough with the cleverness inside of the michael jackson uh death coverage what do you got anything on that well i am a ardent and like lifelong michael jackson fan huge love it and when I heard that he died, all I thought was, it's about fucking time.

Because I knew that now we were going to talk about him in this way of reverence, and I wasn't going to have to hear horrible shit about him all the time. And I just wanted to pretend for years that he didn't exist anymore. Because, like, he had now this tour that he was going to do, so, like, maybe we were going to get back on, he was going to unleash a new dance move and we could talk about that but before that it was always just something fucking cryptic and horrible like that i didn't want to hear at all and when he died i was like finally because he hasn't been well ever and so it's time and his kids no one's ever seen their

fucking face so like even if they did something weird it's gonna be like 10 or 12 years down the road but as it stands they could just be like the world's richest gypsies just travel the world and they're never gonna do and you know who they are so i heard that the youngest one actually looks a lot like him and then like maybe he's gonna have this huge career uh because of how much he looks like how much he looks like his dad and obviously he'll be a superstar but then he won't be the king of pop. No, because he's like the second coming. He'll be the fucking messiah of pop.

And the pedestal we put that guy on is going to be like celestial. Well, and when we tear that down, because he's going to do some weird shit, that is going to feel so fucking great. I have a glow just thinking about how self-righteous I'm going to be taking that guy off the pedestal. And I wish you hadn't got me started on this. I wish you hadn't got me started on this.

I wish you hadn't got me started on it, which got her started on it. I also saw a news story the day it happened. I forgot about this. In the news story, the reporter said, he was unofficially the king of pop. That's because there's no actual office

of king of pop. Furthermore, remember the time was kind of a hit. Kind of. Not enough to name a whole ABC special. It had a video with Michael Johnson. Yeah, I know the lyrics to it. Michael Johnson. But it's not.

You know, the 200 meter sprinter. That was not. Remember the Time is not. If he had a song called Looking Back, then, you know, if it was the death of Noel Gallagher and it was Don't Look Back in Anger, that would be a fine pick of a title. If it was the death of Dave Grohl,

that was There Goes My Hero. Yeah, that's fine. Remember the Time is barely a fit. I was thinking when you were talking about how poignant it's going to be when Sarah McLachlan passes. We'll just have to listen to I Will Remember it over and over again.

Or building a mystery if she dies in mysterious circumstances. Sure, it's unconfirmed. Dave, how do you feel about these Ford ads narrated by Dennis Leary? Oh, don't get me started. Graham, these Ford ads, they're for the F-150.

It's some kind of truck. And in one of them, he's talking about how the people who make these trucks are crazy smart. Because while you and I were in high school thinking about pizza, they were thinking about property dynamic ratios or whatever. Hey, hey, you're allowed to say sex on TV. No one's thinking about pizza. High school boys have plenty of access to pizza. They think about the other thing they don't have access to.

And in the other ad, he says, oh yeah, he talks about the little steps you can use to get into the back of the truck. And he says, oh, let's do the math. You think you don't need these things? Let's do the math. Are you going to be in the back of your trunk once or twice? No, you're going to be in the back of it 50,000 times. Yeah, that's math. Because 50,000 is more than two.

Dennis, don't get me started. Man, oh, man. Have you read any of his book that he put out his thing I have never seen a more colossal and cowardice backpedaling from a statement

than since Jamie Foxx backpedaled onto his comments about Miley Cyrus when honest to God he wrote in his book he basically said like autism and all these things about Miley Cyrus. Honest to God, he wrote in his book, he basically said autism and all these things, they don't exist, they're not a thing, they're made up. And then he was on, I think it was The View.

Don't quote me on that, I'm not sure. I remember seeing him on a talk show when somebody confronted him with it and said, so you're saying that this doesn't exist. That's what it says in your book. It was the Daily Show. And he backpedaled so fucking ferociously because he realized he had opened up a can of worms that he could never deal with. And he was like, oh, no, I mean, you know, it's overprescribed. Well, that's not what you wrote.

Right. What you wrote is let me educate you. Yeah, let me educate you mathematically uh dennis leary you guys remember when he was the spokes i don't even think it was a product he was like the spokesman who's the spokesman for a commercial no it was a product but it was just for bo jackson coming back after like knee surgery i remember that i do remember that but it was like essentially the same thing It was like, this Bo Jackson is so amazing. He's in the pool. He's doing the weights.

He's doing the squats. I do remember that because he's like, wait, hey, you at home, are you not excited Bo Jackson is back? I don't think you're not excited. And here's why. Exactly. But the thing about him is everyone says he ripped it off from Dennis Miller, who ripped it off from Bill Hicks, who ripped it off from our Don't Get Me Started segment.

His whole rant thing. Ba-boom. Katie, how do you feel? We were on the topic earlier of the Michael Jackson coverage. How do you feel about the Farrah Fawcett death? What was that like? Let me tell you how I feel about the Farrah Fawcett death. I can't tell you

the number of times I've heard someone say, oh, it's so shitty for Farrah Fawcett that Michael Jackson died on the same day as her. No, that's the fucking greatest thing that ever happened to her family because she was getting coverage for like an hour and then MJ has a heart attack

and no one wants to talk about her anymore so her family can actually get on with the fact that a human, their mother died, or a loved one passed away, and they have fucking casseroles to make, and funerals to plan. A big CD. fucking hours of these crusty old commentators saying shit like, oh man, wasn't she amazing? That poster was incredible. God, that was the best boner I've ever had. Hey, here's a touching montage of 37 shots of her

putting on a jumpsuit or getting out of a pool. That is kind of true, eh? Who wants to hear about that? The kid she has is a recovering drug addict. This is not an easy time for him. My mother, I've been told, has an exceptionally sexy kid she has is like a recovering drug addict this is not an easy time for him like my mother i've been told has an exceptionally sexy phone voice she has been a smoker for like four decades and before she speaks after answering the phone she takes this really deep breath and on our answer

machine it's like hi you've reached the humphrey blah blah blah and a lot of my friends will joke about this and it's sort of a funny thing if they fucking eulogized her like that like oh man i used to get hard every time i phoned katie's house i would lose it like that's not an easy way to go out and i just think that saying what a shame it is that someone more famous than her died oh this is fucking people's angel no it's the best thing people's angel no it's the best thing it's the best thing angel in the wind she wasn't the people's princess no um sorry how you started yeah you should be sorry uh do you remember the time um graham can i get you started with cyclists and stop signs easily and here. And here's why. Cyclist, you're on the road.

You're considered a vehicle. You've decided most of the time that you have the same rights as a vehicle when you move in and out of traffic. Except when a stop sign says... When it says stop, it doesn't mean fucking run into me on my way to work. It means fucking stop. You're a fucking... And here's the other thing. Anybody could ride a bike on the Cambie Street Bridge.

There's one sign that says, cyclists allowed. The sign underneath it says, yield to pedestrians. I got yelled at by an old man. He kind of looked like the DeSecchi's guy a little bit. He was like, hey, pick a side. You're standing right in the middle. Yeah, I'm allowed to do that. I'm a pedestrian. You go around me, and when there's a stop sign, you stop so that I can walk in front of you. Don't get me started on these cyclists. They're stop signs. They seem to pick and choose the rules they follow.

I agree. My goodness. But I'm all out of energy. Oh, me too. But that guy, he reminded me, that guy with the beard, I'll save it for next week because it's a pretty classic overheard. I got approached. I was approached last week by two people. One person that was a fan of this podcast and one person that I think was a fan of the TV show I work on, but was very hard to tell because of

his demeanor. Can't wait. Yeah, so that'll hold you to suspense. Katie, thank you very much for joining us here on the show. Oh, my pleasure. Thank you for having me. Do you have any upcoming events that you would like to plug? Any website? Do you have a web presence? I do not have

a web presence. You're on Facebook. I am. I have a very busty caricature of myself, if you want to check that out. Hot dog. Right? It is my Facebook profile photo by my friend Mary, who's a very talented... Very talented artist, indeed. ...cartoonist and artist. I'm on Yuck Yucks on Wednesday, I think.

I like to think, in fact, that Paul Meyerhog will be the host. Very, very funny. Okay. And just in, announced, and by announced I mean texted to me, I'm going to be on the Laugh Gallery Show. The Laugh Gallery Show, July 18th. Tickets for that are available at Happy Bats. Happy Bats.

We haven't mentioned that. And, yeah, it's July 18th at the Cambrian Hall, which is just off Main Street and 16th? Am I wrong? I want to say 18th. 17th. Oh, 17th.

Let's split the difference. So that's Saturday. And also, while we're plugging things, Dave and I have an upcoming podcast that's going to be live. It's going to be recorded at the Biltmore Cabaret

on July 28th. 28th. It's going to be live. It's going to be recorded at the Biltmore Cabaret on July 28th. It's a Tuesday. Last Tuesday of the month. A lot of people like drinking on Tuesdays. Damn right. But it's an early show. It's at 8 o'clock. Five bucks.

Five bucks at the door. And bring your... There will be prizes, much like the last live podcast. Our guests aren't confirmed just yet, but very soon, when we have them confirmed, we'll let you know. And if you want to contact us here at the podcast, if you want to send in your overheards,

we didn't get a chance to discuss things that were inappropriate for you to be excited about age-wise. It was a topic we brought up last week. We'll do it next week. We'll do it next week. But the example I gave last week, if anybody wants to send them in, was that I was hugely overwhelmed by The Lion King, looking back on it realizing that I was 14 years old when that came out

and probably should have been doing other things with my time. You can send all those things over herds, neighborhood nicknames, or just general messages to us at stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com. And check out the blog that Dave lovingly creates each and every week, which is the perfect companion piece to the podcast at stoppodcastsyourself.blogspot.com. And we also have a phone number. It's a date local if you live here in the city, but it's a cheap call. It's 206-339-8328.

206-339-TEET. Yeah, don't call us for too many minutes, so it's not going to be expensive. Yeah, exactly. It's, you know, for less than a coffee a day, you can call us for too many minutes. So it's not going to be expensive. Yeah, exactly. It's, you know, for less than a coffee a day, you can call our podcast. Sure. And we didn't receive any drunk podcasts, but we do encourage, if you are in a position, we want you to put this number in your phone, 206-339-8328. If you get the temptation to drunk dial an ex-girlfriend, an ex-boss, or an ex-boyfriend,

whatever the case may be, call us. Leave us a message. Blow that steam off. We're willing to absorb your steam. Or like the guy did last week, try to tell us a story and then get lost in the middle. Get drunk tonight. Call us. Tell a hilarious story.

We cannot wait. But again, Katie, thank you very much for being a guest. Again, thank you. Katie Ellen Humphries, very funny lady. You can see her live

performing comedy at the Laugh Gallery show on July 18th. And thank you very much for tuning in. If you enjoyed the show, tell all your friends. And come back next week

for another thrilling episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.