Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 713 - Miguel Rivas

Episode Date: November 16, 2021

Comedian Miguel Rivas of the Tony Ho podcast joins us to talk crypto, movie theatres, and Ikea.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 713 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who really is having a great November so far. We're nearly at the midpoint and we're on Remembrance Day, one of the funnest days of the year. And he's going to get through this November in style, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, it's one of my favorite months it's hard to hold a candle in the cold november rain uh as we're learning it's so rainy it's like

it always rains a lot but i've just walked the dog like uh right before this and every like it seems like there's a flood yeah it's gross and it's the grossest time of year. Every corner is a giant puddle. My pants are... I wonder if my pants will be dry by the time I'm done this show. I wear clam diggers most of the time. Yeah, that's true. You little pedal pushers.

Yeah. And you carry a little purse on one finger. Yes, yes. You walk around with your cat eye glasses and your uh it was that tight sweater to show off your petty and veronica style gazongas um our guest today okay i couldn't top gazongas i don't know um our guest today first time guest here on the podcast so excited to have him here you can hear him all the time on the tony ho podcast and the help tony ho podcast it's miguel rives oh my god i can't believe i'm on this podcast i'm so i can't believe you're here either after we established that we

are uh long-time enemies we're long-time foes and this is us burying the hatchet. This is us bringing together. We got a lot of stuff to hash out. You know, my first question, what's wrong with you guys? Yeah, boy, we got some explaining to do. We've got, I've been kind of going around making amends. That's what this podcast is about. It's about making amends. And we hope it takes off like Mark Maron's podcast.

Yeah. Oh, yeah, I guess that's what that's about also uh you know what's wrong with me that's what you gotta ask yeah do you forgive me for doing that thing to you yeah what's lauren like sorry about everything but also screw you yeah put them in the defensive seat do you forgive me for this i want your job that is kind of how it started um should we get to know us yeah get to know us miguel so let me tell you let me give you a little 411 here. A few weeks ago, someone sent us a message asking if we would want to do a promo swap with the Tony Ho podcast. Very transactional. And Graham and I talked it over and we were like, we hate making promos.

We're going to have to make a promo. I bet they already have theirs made. I bet they don't even make their own promos. I bet this is someone from CBC Marketing trying to set this up. You know what? Let's just get Miguel on the show. This is the best of both worlds.

I know how to sneak in the back door through annoyances. We've done many promos in our long history of this show. And never good once. Never good. They're never good. And no one's ever happy with them, except people who are already listening to this show.

Do you guys do the thing where you just blast through it? Like, okay, check this out. Or do you try and do the enthusiasm? Like, hey, there's a new podcast called WTF with Mark Burr wtf yeah we mostly do promos for wtf um no we uh avoid uh doing anything related to the show at all we're not enthusiastic we do not we don't tell anyone what the show is what a business plan we don't like that we've been asked to make a promo every six months or so we get asked to make one and and every time we've made a promo for our own show people inevitably write in that

they hate it yeah half the guests on this show are just people whose broadcasts you were supposed to promo yes yeah that's right please don't make us do a promo we'll just we'll just talk to you for no you're really the first yeah oh great great no one's uh uh we've never had a promo a request for a promo swap from outside our network so wow um okay i'm like i'm like a podcast bully or something no no no yeah think of yourself gonna hate me right no i'm maybe this was a bad way to introduce you but uh it's uh we're very very happy to have you yes indeed of course now uh tell us just right off of the bat uh what the tony ho universe has in store for future listeners and be enthusiastic yeah be enthusiastic really sell this hey listeners

we got a new podcast to tell you about it's called the Tony. I'm going to do the promo for my podcast on your podcast for you guys. Here we go. No, we're in season three of the Tony Ho podcast. It's a sketch podcast. Tony Ho is myself and Roger Bainbridge and Adam Niebergall. And we've been doing sketch comedy for 10 plus years now. And yeah, this is our third season of sketches. And now we also have a bonus podcast that goes along with that called Help Tony Ho, where we have illustrious guests and experts come on to try and help us fix the broken parts of our lives.

Like we had Chad on the podcast and we called it Help Tony Ho Win a Juno. Oh, yeah. Nice. We had a crypto expert named Kara Ricketts, and she came on and tried to help us crypto. Do you understand crypto at all now? Because I'm starting lunch, and he only spoke about crypto for the full hour. So I feel like I now understand it a little bit. And you know what? I bought $400 of Bitcoin last week just for fun. So, yeah, this is the thing with me and Bitcoin is years ago, I was looking for an office to work out of.

And this one guy had an office and he's like he i didn't notice him i walked in the building but he had a flag with the bitcoin logo on it and then when i got in there he's like well if you work here you're gonna learn a lot about bitcoin and i was like nope i'm not i don't have to um do you uh so you've invested your 400 have you checked what it's at now yeah it's at like 419 dollars whoa according to my friend this is a moment in bitcoin right now where it's about to spike up before it spikes down yes so you know yeah buy the dip uh you buy the dip so you got the lingo down yeah sure uh did you is your friend uh is he knowledgeable in it uh because he's made money at it or is he like uh

is he i'm ruined he he's he's got a ruinous amount of money invested i'll say that but um he you know technically he's made a good chunk of money right now but if there's you know it depends when he pulls out as it were yeah so that's the thing you don't hear about a lot of people actually selling their bitcoin and making money you hear about them being like i almost made this amount of money and then i waited and now i didn't make any money i'm telling people it's about to spike and hoping that that makes it spike yeah it's it's a pyramid scheme i guess why don't you just invest the like you did four hundred dollars then anything that you make you just yoink that out and then keep the four hundred dollars so you're just always dealing with that amount or is it better i guess to let it go and

go and go go let it go and go go get your 400 out and then let after you got that ruin my plan here that's literally what i'm thinking as soon as there's as soon as there's about 400 more dollars in there i'm going to take it out and then watch watch my 19 soar to the moon and back um that's more than i've made with any stock i've ever gone out and personally bought yeah i also like i told my other friend i was like hey i bought bitcoin and he literally said shame on you because i guess bitcoin is morally compromised as well because of energy consumption oh yeah i'm very conflicted i'm very conflicted yeah and it also made rude comments bitcoin is also canceled for staring at butts for too long yeah it also made a joke that was too soon after someone died yeah

yeah made a 9-11 joke on 9-12 oh crypto what will we do with you um yeah i i don't know anything about i don't understand i've tried to read up on it i've tried to wrap my head around it but then when i think about it i don't understand the stock market either so and i apparently that's legit i don't understand anything i'm like a bit of a dum-dum so yeah me too trying to understand that in which you know coming to that realization in my adult life was great i think when i was was like a teen, I was like, I'm frigging smart. I'm such a, I'm so capable and smart. And then when I was, and then I was frustrated in my twenties and midway through my twenties,

I was like, Oh, I'm dumb. I'm very dumb. Can't put my shirt on properly. My head keeps going into this sleeve hole. Every time I make a sandwich i cut my hand somehow i can't even explain it what i don't get about the stock market i get that like you buy a stock it goes up in value you sell it you get the money buy low sell high uh what i don't get by the dip is like thank you uh when you when they say like oh this

this billionaire lost you know his stock went down so he lost 30 billion dollars today right where did that money go like yeah i don't know i get that someone's about does the money just like disperse to everyone else in the stock market no i think like people start selling their stuff and then if they're if there's too many people selling then people start panic selling and then you lose any interest or whatever that you've agreed it's all it's all imaginary it's always what's what's going on so as long as we agree that this man has 30 billion dollars more than he does but then as soon as everyone's like maybe he doesn't have it anymore then it just ceases to exist yeah this is my understanding can we just agree that i have

more money that we will need a bigger campaign than just me and graham but yeah well we got there's people listening yeah that's 30 billion dollars that's the only i don't want that much i don't want that much too much responsibility yeah that's morally compromised yeah holding on to that much money shame on you dave i i look i uh we all agreed that i'm a bad guy yeah you're the bad guy billy eilish was referring to good cop bad cop you're a jerk the um yeah i do you think that cosplayers are good at uh bitcoin and stock market because they're good at like making stuff up in their head and going to festivals and and whatnot they're good at dedicating themselves to something you know and and making sure they have a purpose

every morning i do enjoy looking at the pictures of people in their cosplay costumes they always look like they're having a really good time. Yeah. In Toronto, there's what's called Fan Expo, right? And whenever there's, you ride the subway,

I guess this is more pre-COVID times, but you ride the subway and you're like, why is Spider-Man and a troll and a like wharf here? They couldn't agree on a theme. Oh, they're going down there. I follow people who's like, their life is dedicated to like being this, the celebrity they look like, but then they keep getting older.

And it's like, you don't look like that person anymore. You just have a, you just have a bunch of Star Trek gear. You don't really look like Patrick Stewart, my guy. I'm sorry. Yeah. The older you get, you look less like Patrick Stewart. You start growing hair back. Yeah, yeah.

You're like, I don't remember him having a ponytail. Can you imagine? You couldn't picture him as the captain of a ship he had a ponytail. Because Worf has a little ponytail, doesn't he? Yeah. I think he did at some point. If he doesn't have the ponytail, he's got like a nice little curtain like a bob curtain oh yeah sure that's my favorite uh tragically hip

song bob curtain um did what so what celebrity do you look like me yeah um and that are you and that you are looking less and less like as the years go by i think when i was a kid i wanted not a kid when i was like 20 i was like i'm i look like benicio del toro but i never did i think we were just both latino and i was like that's my latino idol in the industry and now i don't look like him at all yeah and you hate him now yeah yeah you know you know who i thought i could play uh if i if I shaved my beard and like puffed my hair up I think I could do a Matt Gates you know

oh the politician the horrible politician from America he's misunderstood yeah yeah he's probably a good guy yeah he's probably a good guy no one talks about the good things he brings across state lines illegally Dave who could you play oh um boy i

boy uh you with current look or with adjusted look uh i guess i gotta go with data data or like oh sexy velma maybe maybe you could do like post uh star trek brent spiner you know like yeah he's a little bit just like if they bring back star trek and they get him to play data again it's like i thought this was an android who didn't age why does he have different jobs someone someone dipped him in wax yeah yeah he got dipped in space malfunctioned yeah malfunction look do any of your electronics still look good 20 years later that's true yeah they're covered in dust and they have jangly jowls now yeah it's funny that um the idea of like the the enterprise being futuristic um when like if they're on that ship for any sustained

sustained period of time everything would look outdated like do you remember when uh every electronic was just like beige yeah well david was kind of beige he was kind of that electronic beige yeah yeah he had kind of a real waxy exterior but also like kind of yellowed like so he does look like an old alarm clock oh sure yeah um you know you know what color this beige man should wear mustard yellow that's the combo that will make him shine are you a big star trek fan i mean i i did tng i did the next Generation, and I rewatched it semi-recently. But truthfully, I never really watched any of the other iterations. Yeah, I watched the first one.

I watched the 60s one because it had some kind of, it had, you know, camp on its side. It was fun. Then The Next Generation seemed like something that you would have to be smart to watch. So I skipped it. Teenage me thought I understood the world. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

TNG. TNG. Yeah. Look, I'm calling it TNG. I'm such a loser. Oh my God. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm not that big a fan of TNG. Oh, I'm calling it that. I guess I am. Holy crap. I, yeah,

no, I, that was the big one when I was a kid. And I was surprised that kids were watching it. Now there's like six Star Treks and most of them film in Toronto. So if anyone from Star Trek is listening, I love

Star Trek. Put me on one of those ships. Yeah, I'll wear any type of ponytail you want me to. I'll wear a turtle on my head like a wharf. I'll do it all. You guys can fuck up my face however you want with prosthetics. I remember when the new Terminator movie came out,

and Arnold Schwarzenegger is quite visibly older, that they explained it like, he's covered in organic tissue, so it ages. And I was was like does it does it future robot manufacturer why would you build that in as a feature wow the terminator looks a little waterlogged yeah they could have just said that yeah he fell into a swamp so he's all soggy now yeah he's all fucked up that's yeah that's all the explanation you need um are you a sci-fi fan in general um i guess i guess so not really not enough that you know

that you're you're prepared for fan expo no definitely not it catches you by surprise no i've never attended a fan expo. I have no intentions. But, um... No, I guess not. I like this and that. But not really like a big fan. What would happen if your daughter grows up to be a cosplayer? Then how would you feel like you'll connect with her?

Maybe I'll ask her to get emancipated from the parents. Hey, could you get emancipated? i like a lot of paperwork for me to do it but i think yeah i'm sick of reminding you to do it but here's like a heavy uh suggestion you know it's just like cosplaying how much money you have to spend on all that stuff i feel like it's like must be lots and lots of money to get all those costumes up to date and stuff yeah but i feel like those people have cryptocurrency to burn. They're using Dogecoin

to pay for their spandex. Can you imagine losing your life savings to something called Dogecoin? To like basically a meme? Yeah, you were going to be rich and then everyone made fun of it and now it's not worth anything.

Oh, shit. I guess I should have invested in anything else. And then everyone made fun of it. And now it's not worth anything. Like, Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh fuck man. We fucked up. I guess I should have invested in anything else. Yeah. I don't know. Like some people only invest in something they could see or actually put

their hands on. Right. Like a Tesla or something like that. Yeah. There's other things that like, it's a hedge fund managing thing. And then nobody knows what's going on i literally anytime i hear that i think about like a hedge i also immediately picture a head like some some little bushes that are making up for a fence hedge fund that sounds

fun sounds great let's all have some hedge fun. Yeah. Are they like, you know, trimmed? So it's like all kind of symmetrical? Or how does that go? Picturing like a corn maze, you know? That's why it's confusing, you know? And the person who's explaining it to you is like, why do you keep saying ooh, ah?

What are you picturing in your head? Miguel, when was your last corn maze experience? Yeah. I guess this past summer I went to one that wasn't really a maze, but it was like an apple farm in Ontario. I took my kids to walk around, and they had a bunch of corn growing in sort of a design, but I was taller than the

top of it so it wasn't really a maze for me it was it was more just a a walk just a walk like a hike i get i get over corn mazes so fast the first wrong turn i take i'm like i'm gonna go back the way i came in and just go at the entrance. I don't have the stomach to go left and right and into dead ends. And you're one of those guys who panics and just starts like going through the core. Yeah. Yes. And now that you can like,

like I'm so used to just getting lost and pulling up my phone and seeing where I am on a map. But I don't, I feel like you can't do that with a corn maze. Yeah. Cause how, how accurate is like Google maps placement yeah it's like 10 feet right so or yeah so i could be anywhere yeah just says you're fucked when you open it yeah you are it says climb climb the corn there's i watched a stephen king movie that's about getting lost in like tall grass and it's horrifying what movie in uh in the tall grass i think it's called oh okay yes that's not the

one with all the farting is it hmm no that's dream catcher that's dream catcher thinner fart yourself thinner fart yourself thin is dream catcher is it called dream catcher yeah i think it had damian lewis in it from homeland okay that recently yeah it's like it's literally like like well actually i think it was i think it was like young damian lewis so it's like a while ago but it's like the the monster in it lives in people's asses and like literally i'm not making this up they literally like there's a bunch of farting which is not meant for comedy but meant to be scary and i think in like a novelistic book sense it was like you could describe the odor as putrid and like an but then in the movie it was just like

and then the wind blew out of his anus like a tornado exactly uh it came out in 2003 dreamcatcher starring damian lewis nice nice uh as jonesy jonesy um and also had uh donnie walberg oh shit from walbergers yep from Wahlburgers. And Morgan Freeman. Oh, nice. I watched a movie the other night, and one of the credits was produced by this woman. And in her bracketed credits, Wahlburgers was one of the things she had produced. Then I felt dumb for watching the movie, because they should have vetted that first. From the creator of Wahlburgers. from the mind that inspired wall have you uh yeah there's a walburgan in

toronto is there not mikhail i believe there is but i've never had it or i think maybe it closed or i went i went when i was there give us the give us the dirt yeah give us the goods. It was fine. Toronto's like a real food trend city. And it's always like, oh, now there's this here. And now there's this. And there's like 20 restaurants. But it's like, really? Burgers?

Yeah. Everybody makes a decent burger. I remember seeing a line on some street corner, like a 20-person line. And then walking up to it it it was frozen yogurt everybody was lined up for and I was like did you just get that here why are you so excited about this? There's a place here in like Koreatown that's called the poo cafe and they

make ice cream in the shape of poo and you eat it out of a toilet and I feel like I feel this is a dreamcatcher tie-in i'm just realizing there's yeah exactly you can get the dream catcher meal you can get the jonesy there was that uh garfield eats restaurant in toronto yep uh and that's gone right that's gone but that guy the guy who ran it was like just a totally eccentric weirdo who's now part of i believe part of like the no fat

movement if you guys know what that is yes well this is the month for it yeah right i challenge it at every every corner i'm i'm anti that policy my lessons at garfield eats have led me to the conclusion but i love the idea that because it was licensed it wasn't just some i think it was yeah yeah yeah yeah jim davis of garfield was on the website saying hey go to garfield eats yeah this this guy sent me uh eight thousand dollars and so i say go eat this pizza in the shape of like it was in the shape of like a heart it wasn't even it had nothing to do with garfield in any capacity and garfield's lasagna so i don't know yeah yeah there's no conceivable tie-in with garfield eats and reality i do you know what jim davis strikes me as a guy who's got a ponytail oh yeah yeah i could see him in my head he looks like the comic book guy is it long enough that he

can like drape it over the front of his shoulder? Only for photos. He doesn't do it in real life. That's his author photo. Should I ever get an author photo done? I will do that. I will have a braid coming around. Oh, this thing?

That's just my hair. Yeah, because your hair is long enough. If I got another thing done, I would just have a fake ponytail added to go around. And I'd have like a knife. Like a knife that has like... Like you're holding a knife in the picture? Yeah, maybe I'm whittling. Oh, yeah.

Okay. Or like shaving pieces off of an apple. Yes, shaving pieces off an apple. Absolutely. Or maybe the handle of the knife. Okay. Or like shaving pieces off of an apple. Yes. Shaving pieces off an apple. Absolutely. Or maybe the handle of the knife. Yeah. But the handle of the knife looks whittled. Yes.

Like you whittled it with another knife. Some kind of knobbly, gnarly. People are like, how did he whittle the handle of the knife with the blade on that knife? Defies physics. It's one of these philosophical questions. Yeah. It's like an mc escher painting you can't it doesn't exist in the real world it's only an author photo what would you do author photo wise miguel uh i think i'd probably do some tng cosplay

i'd go for like i do like the the prince batman half batman and half rob thing, but I do half Worf and half Data. I don't think I've ever seen that before. No, that would be great. And then when it says the bio, and then at the end is where it says resides, you can say some planet that Star Trek's been to. I don't know the name of anything. Zorbtron.

Yeah, Zorbtron. He lives in Zorbtron with his cat. Zorbtron. Yeah. He lives in Zorbtron with his cat. Have you ever, have either of you ever thought about writing a book or something like that? Yeah.

Thinking about it. Yeah. I think about it feels pretty good. That pretty much scratches the itch. Yeah. I feel like, I feel like I could never pull off that amount of going back and fixing it type of work. Yeah. I could spit out all of a book, and then people would be like, oh, nice.

It's a good start. Go back and redo something. I can't do that. Yeah, because this narrative falls apart after about 20 pages. Yeah, yeah. Editing? Forget it. I love that part.

yeah editing forget it i uh i love that part like i love i'm uh you know when you write as part of a team and it's not your job to write it and you just get to give notes that's the best oh yeah being in a writer's room where someone else takes it home you'd be like yeah that's the thing and another thing you know what you should do first of all it's going to be great it's going to be so great yeah you're going to take it take it home and you're going to fix this up and it's going to be great here's five jokes i think so great. Yeah. You're going to take it home and you're going to fix this up and it's going to be great. Here's five jokes. I think it would be really funny. You have to pick one that works.

None of them work. I feel like if I ever wrote a book, it would have to be like a memoir. You know, I don't think I could come up with a story that would hold together. Yeah. I mean, that's the tough part,

right? Like, you know, if you told me to write a story about a hedge maze, I would be like, doesn't happen. Or I think I could write one of those oral histories. Oh, yeah. You just maybe write a paragraph at the start of every chapter and then it's all just like Jim Davis said this. Just interviewing Jim Davis, the story of Garfield Eats.

Yeah. This guy emailed me and I said, sure. I have to say of the kind of intellectual properties that are around Garfield is like everywhere. Everybody's riffing Garfield. It never lets me down. Of all the intellectual properties, Garfield's the best. But you know,

like other, like Disney's very litigious. If you have like a Disney princess, you know, dressed like Jessica Rabbit or whatever. But Garfield, there's like entire companies that are just Garfield t-shirts that are nasty Garfield t-shirts. There are also, I feel like Popeye. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

There was Popeye's chicken. There is. That had him as part of the like branding and then didn't. Yeah. There, he, there was Popeye's chicken. There is that had him as part of the like branding and then didn't. Right. And then there's like a supplement store where you can get vitamins. That's Popeye's. But also, uh,

I don't know who owns Popeye. Popeye's famous spinach powder. You can get there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You inhale it through your pipe. Umye and popeye and james bond both are not protected here in canada you can do a version of either as long as it's not the exact version then you can do that up here because it's the copyright has lapsed and it hasn't well i know my cosplay it's gonna be half down the middle two-face popeye and james bond yeah that's what my novel is going to be about i'm going to write popeye gets cast as the next james bond yeah in canada only within the boundaries of canada yeah popeye of the north but then like you can't do olive oil for some reason. She's protected. Yeah.

Hot scuff, scuff, scuff, scuff, said James Bond. Yeah, that's, I don't know if, I really loved Popeye as a kid. I still like him, but I don't know that it was ever funny. Was it ever funny? No, it wasn't supposed to be. I don't think so. Wimpy was maybe comic relief. Yeah, he would come in, he liked hamburgers

He was broke all the time Look at this poor fucking guy He sucks He's got no impulse control He'll pay you later for today's hamburger This guy has no investments He's an idiot Yeah, this guy's an idiot, all he wants to do is eat burgers

But he's corpulent, he shouldn't be eating so many burgers All the time Well, I don that yeah i feel like back then you wouldn't die from a bad diet you would die from other like and yeah if the life expectancy is 40 then just go nuts yeah exactly when your midlife crisis is at 20 you're like what am i even doing with my life um yeah i don't know i i guess uh popeye isn't meant to be funny but feels like it's trying to be funny boy oh yeah i mean i think there's a lot of like uh there's a fun gag reel that they run at the end of all the like flubs and bloopers yeah

when is oh no my forearm was supposed to turn into a locomotive and it turned into like a farting donkey I know I called her canola oil yeah hey cannoli wait oh darn it

what's their kid's name sweet pea sweet pea but there's also like this extended universe of characters. It's not just those four characters. There's like 10 different characters that you can like. There's like an old guy that's Popeye's dad. And there's like maybe one guy that wears shades called Joe Cool. Oh, Joe Cool.

Joe Cool's from Peanuts. No, no. Joe Cool was a camel and he smoked that's what i remember that's right um yeah

what was uh did snoopy have like a hayseed like uh he did he had

he had like a he had like a dirty hat or something he was called prickly pete i think was that character oh my god prickly pete a dirty hat or something. He was called Prickly Pete, I think was that character. Oh my god. A bunch of

Depression-era humor. Yeah, when I guess all it needed to do to make you laugh is just appear on screen and move a little bit, and everybody's like, this is the stuff. This is going to get me through the Depression. This other guy has a clean shirt. He must be wealthy.

I just looked up Snoopy's 23andMe, and his cousin, oh, is it his brother? His name's Spike, who has a little mustache. Oh, okay. There isn't one that wears a hat called Prickly Pete? I don't know. I don't know. Is there, like, alsostock is woodstock the bird yeah woodstock's the bird is woodstock have a cousin woodstock i don't know what woodstock's

deal is i don't know if people can hear him because they can't hear the dog when he says stuff we're the only ones that can hear the dog does anybody know i don't remember this the dog doesn't say anything does does he? He thinks. Yeah, he thinks, but then he doesn't think in the cartoon. You don't hear his voice going like, hmm, Charlie Brown is a loser. I shouldn't be hanging out with him. What's the deal with Clifford?

Why is he so big? Does everyone think he's so big or just like... I think he's a big red dog. He's a huge red dog he's bigger than a house sometimes sometimes he's big as a car sometimes he's big as a house yeah is he really i don't know i'm not that familiar with i'm pretty sure there was like a lot of inconsistencies in what his size was meant did you when did you did you did we grow up with clifford is clifford uh i remember having a lot of clifford books, but I don't remember there being like a functional cartoon.

There's a movie coming up now. Oh yeah. There's definitely like several cartoons that are being made right now. Yeah. It's like people are big on Clifford taking over the site guys. The, uh, I've only seen one,

uh, trailer for it, but the dog looks like a real dog in it whereas a huge mistake yeah clifford's a cartoon dog they should have made it a cartoon right yeah when a dog's that big if you want to like it it has to have like a friendly face it can't look like soulless eyes you know yeah and it can't look like it's gonna shit on a house at any moment right because a cartoon dog wouldn't do that but a real dog real giant dog do they ever cover that in uh the clifford novels i remember thinking that as a kid truly i remember being like what happens when this dog has to go even just a piss you're like does he flood the

street does he have to pee directly into the sewer and just ruins everybody's lawns all at once does he have to go to like like a newspaper printing factory and like lay out thousands of newspapers clifford the big red dog was originally published in guess the year okay 1963 it was part of the swing 60s. Graham, I'm going to stop you before you even guess. He nailed it. He did? It's 1963. No.

Are you joking? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. While the Beatles were invading America, some guy was like, what if a dog was bigger? You know how dogs are so fucking small and shitty? There's just a huge one. You know how dogs are so fucking small and shitty but there's just a huge one you know how they can make oh a small dog couldn't already create big problems so what have we made

a giant dog i wonder if that was like being like that kid was like whoever made that up when he was a kid he was bullied he's like if i had this huge attack dog with me all the time yeah okay so there have been 80 clifford books oh man clifford the big red dog clifford gets a job the uh that's the first two are you gonna read all 80 of the books no no but i'm just uh uh all the way up to the 80th one clifford celebrates hanukkah okay clifford invests in ethereum coins clifford loses it all yeah um is there a doubles down on the mortgage of his house for ill-advised investments clifford gets canceled um is there an author photo on uh that you can hunt down here? Oh, yes.

Norman Birdwell. Bridwell? Bridwell. Bridwell, okay. Should be Birdwell. Should be. He's all ponytail. He's just a ponytail ad at Typewriter.

Oh, so gross um yeah i uh you because you're both both of you guys are parents you're both fathers that's right is there a book that you hate that your kids like more of that book please anything that fits that criteria oh man my kid loves reading the berenstein bears yeah and most of it's okay but when you read any of those books enough times it's horrible worse is the cartoons like there are certain cartoons where you just want to like strangle all the characters in it like most most cartoons for kids are like they're kind of like like action movies or pornos where they're just trying to string together to the next event you know like so in a kid show it's a song and it's like when you imagine writing a

kid show you're like well i got the five songs i just got to make it to the next song that repeats where they like gear up or whatever yeah yeah yeah and all the dialogue in between is just a complete waste of time it's all like hey big boy delivering a pizza is it got extra sausage all right to get to the sex now yeah in this case a song a sex song what uh what are you are you thinking of one in particular i mean definitely paw patrol is very annoying it's a very annoying show paw patrol slaps peppa pig peppa pig is okay there's some okay jokes in there peppa pig does slap however there's like there's this like underlying element of peppa pig that people don't talk about which

you have to be a parent to see but you're like peppa pig's a little brat she's really like rude and annoying and selfish yeah all things the kids look for in a hero in a night yeah yeah the other kid she hangs out with you're like how do we why don't we go home with pedro pony and see his family yeah pedro pony's great yeah is pedro pony part of the pep of the pig universe yeah yeah yeah it's an alliterative uh name every time yeah everyone's except for suzy sheep i mean they're both S's, but there should be Sheena Sheep. Cheryl Sheep.

Shumka Sheep. Come on. Say in Canada only. There's this other show my kids like to watch called Mulang. It's like... Oh my god. That's great. It's the cutest. And it's like, uh, la la la la la la la la la la la. Oh my God.

That's great. It's the cutest. Uh, and it's like, yeah, but they, but it's hard to like, you know, you can sit down and watch Peppa Pig or whatever with your kid.

And you're like, Oh yeah, it's about learning how to play dodgeball or whatever. But Mulang is, there's no dialogue. It's just like gibberish. So it's so like brain rotting. Cause it's just like,

and you're like, Oh my God, how long is this? 11 minutes. Kill me now. There's another one too. They called Cleo and cooking. And it's like,

Oh, I don't know that. Yeah. I think it's from Spain and they just like Google translated all of the scripts, obviously. So like, it doesn't fully make sense, the way people say

anything. And every time my kids talk about it, it sounds like they're saying Cleo and cocaine. I was just going to ask, because Cleo is what? What is he? Cleo's a girl and cocaine is the baby. So it's a girl and a baby

and they're in Avengers. Uh-oh. Cleo and cocaine. But it literally sounds like cocaine. Yeah, there was like, Molang is very cute. And we always like, we thought the kids would like cute things.

They never do. Like they were never into, oh, there's this very gentle netflix show oh god what's it called i forget oh it's uh boy is it puffin rock i remember puffin rock i might be thinking of the wrong thing it's there's a show, it's, I think it might be Puffin Rock. Puffin Rock? Is that the one that's narrated by the guy from, what's the one narrated by the guy from Bridesmaids? Oh. Oh, yeah, it is Puffin Rock.

Puffin Rock, okay. What is it? Is it a rock band of puffins? No, it's just these puffins who like go on like go around this island and they're it's very cute and the animation's very nice what was the other one that's really cute mook m-o-u-k mook mook and it just adds cute uh but the kids are like this sucks the the worst ones are there's several ones where they like i get what it's for where they like ask the kids watching something like dora was famous for that yeah now there's

there's this one called blaze and the monster machines nice and they're always like okay what do you think we should do and there's this long silence and it's like so unsettling. And your kid is like, fine, Jesus. Yeah. Repent. I have to keep my opinions to myself because like just last week we were putting on like one of those kids channels and this show Ricky Zoom came on. I was like, oh, look, it's Ricky Zoom, which is like motorcycles who talk or whatever. Nice. And my kid goes, Ricky Zoom sucks.

which is like motorcycles who talk or whatever. Nice. And my, my kid goes, Ricky zoom sucks. I was like, that's, that's directly from me ranking the kids TV shows. These British motorcycles solving mysteries.

Get out of here. Ricky zoom sucks. It sucks. Just a kid. Like saying that something sucks is great. Yeah. And you can't disagree with them yeah you don't really like it so it's horrible it's like it sucks it's like uh thomas uh the tank

engine oh unwatchable unwatchable because the faces are past the uncanny valley like you can't look them in the eye or else you're hypnotized and now they like the modern version of it the like trains jump off the tracks and like twist into skateboard tricks because they're too boring this is nonsense because as a kid i remember thomas the tank engine it would just show the toys and they wouldn't move their mouth or anything it was just like this guy's saying something and then this guy's saying something and then they go down the track sometimes they would go through a tunnel and uh i feel like that was the entirety of the that was the big event yeah yeah whoa they went through a tunnel oh my god oh shit um but yeah now the tank engine sucks

was it was it shining time station was that the same thing yes yes shining time station and it had it had george carlin right or ringo star and then ringo star i was gonna say yeah who is the george carlin of the beatles i guess yeah george carlin was always playing with the words in that they both had ponytails yes that's true yeah that is absolutely ponytail episode and like dusty beards yeah yeah also do you remember the announcer on conan who had the ponytail oh yeah yeah yeah was he there for a long time or something yeah he was there a long time uh yeah he was a old guy i don't think with like the huge facial expression as well yeah and like kind of you know old man teeth yeah yeah not in on the joke they made him do well good game yeah happy to do it yeah yeah he's not

feeling like pressured to do anything he doesn't want to do except to cut his ponytail i mean imagine being just like getting a paycheck to to be the voice guy i'm thinking like a good living announcing you know 30 words a day if they say do you want to do a sketch you say how high yeah tonight melanie griffith yeah uh what's his name johnny gilbert he like announces jeopardy and that's it he just does the off the top Jeopardy here's your contestants and then sits back and counts the money I think he also wears a silk jacket he also has a voice from like another generation that kids wouldn't understand you know it's like us trying to understand Glaswegian you're like what's what what is with

this tonality I can't understand this but yeah having that as your gig just being the announcer or something imagine him showing up to like the meeting of the beginning of the season being like i have a lot of things that are not being uh heard i would like to i would like to join the writer's room come up with some of the clues yeah i want to be able to do jazz music that was uh kelsey grammar when he was renewing his contract for fraser was that he insisted that he have several scenes where fraser gets to sing and i like oh my god he can sing though right he can't singer but like that's a weird thing to make i mean you can sing the frazier theme song and nothing else yeah but he like sang buttons and bows on an episode

i guess he's saying uh some songs from the hms pinafore on the yeah yeah yeah you do the thing you're like remember that frazier episode where he sings here i go again on my own that was weird i didn't really fit any narrative on the show razor joins a cover band he also does acapella all those instruments um dave what's going on with you man well guys last week on the show i talked about getting contact lenses i'm not wearing them now uh and one of my big one of my reasons for wanting contact lenses so was so that i could go to a movie go to a film and not fog up my glasses while i wear a mask right yes so have either of you been to a movie in the last 20 months i went for somebody's

birthday where we had the entire theater rented out yes you did there was only 10 of us and we were scattered all over the theater was that the only time that's the only time yeah i haven't been to you haven't been to another wow at miguel uh yeah i went to go see G.I. Joe Snake Eyes with a couple people once everything opened. We all have to hang on to what we could during the pandemic to keep us sane, right? So a bunch of friends and I started this movie watching group where you can get this Netflix teleparty app where you watch a movie on Netflix and it has a chat beside it. Oh, yeah. So we would intentionally watch terrible films um and then once the movie theaters opened up we were like let's do one of these in real life and we went and we decided to see gi joe

snake eyes nice but anyone else in the theater yeah it was it was pretty packed there was like oh wow 80 people in there or something oh when was this this was probably gosh august maybe i guess who played snake eyes oh i didn't know nicholas cage it was a gi joe remake version of the snake eyes wasn't that movie one shot wasn't that the idea was that there's one take really was it i never saw that snake eyes yeah so brian de palma yeah and maybe well does it have something to do with the snuff film or am i complaining there's a boxing match no the snuff film is eight millimeters eight millimeters yes thank you thank you very much yeah eight millimeters that right wait what was what was the one with uh greg kinnear that was as good as it gets

what was the one where he was like the guy from hogan's heroes oh oh god i almost know what you're talking about yeah because that guy was like a bad dude right or something yeah he was no hero but in that i assumed that one was also a snuff movie based on a snuff film from the guys who brought you a snuff film here's another snuff film uh well i'm not gonna be able to find that anyway yeah now you can just go to snufffilm.com you know what i mean that's not gonna going to... Autofocus. Right. Autofocus. So, 8mm and autofocus.

I always got that stuff in my mind. Yeah. Autoerotic focus. Anyway, so... Did you go to a movie? I went to a movie this past Tuesday. I play hockey on Tuesdays, and I always have trouble falling asleep afterwards. So, I was like, I'll go to a late movie now that you have to be vaxxed to see a movie and and no one will be at a 10 o'clock showing and i was i was right and it was fun and i went to see uh the new wes anderson movie

the french dispatch now this one's a pretty like multi-ethnic cast right this wes anderson film yeah it's disgusting they should all be white is that what you're trying to get me to say did you did you think you saw me in there because it was actually benicio del toro it was benicio del toro isn't it it wasn't me oh is it shaggy are you shaggy oh maybe it wasn't me um but uh uh the yeah so i went to see that and it's great i uh i'm i want to go see movies now yeah i want to go see movies in their like fourth week of release now oh yeah don't you find that like as a dad also like people like oh did the pandemic make you stop seeing movies you're like no having a kid made me stop going to the movies yeah oh god yeah like everyone just goes out the window immediately everyone is like oh yeah i have so

much time to like i've binged everything i'm like i'm on i'm trying to watch a show that came out when my kid was born still yeah i'm still on season two of the left i was just gonna say you're still on the leftovers from whatever i stalled season two of the leftovers uh i'm still watching the 100 i'm still watching v there's 100 leftovers they're pretty close right and in plot i think so yeah 100 is like yeah 100 100 people yeah yeah and uh the leftovers is about uh the guy from hogan's hero and then wasn't there a show hosted by um nerdist guy it was like 100 people like it was like oh yeah the wall was it the wall, The Wall. Pink Floyd related or no? Yeah, it was Pink Floyd.

It was a nerdist thing. You wouldn't get it. Points! Yes. What is his name? Chris Hardwick. Chris Hardwick, okay, yeah. The Wall.

I feel like Bob Saget was on The Wall. I feel like I'm also was on the wall i've yeah that might be i'm i feel like i'm also conflating two different things but i also feel like yes like bob saget was somehow involved um so i saw this movie it was great um i don't know if i though it's very wes anderson-y well you'd come to expect that you'd be mad if it wasn't. If it was like a top political thriller, you'd be like, god damn it. That's one of those things people are going to look back at this time and be like, because now everyone's like,

oh man, he makes such a similarly styled movie all the time. But at least he has a unique personal touch and vision about it. I think when you look back, you're going to be like, hey, at least that guy did something that wasn't the same as everyone else's movie all the time yeah yeah oh definitely and you can like it's not like uh it's not even close to anyone else's movie no one else even wants to make

i would like him to one time try something else yeah but i all like and also like i loved his first few movies and now it's kind of i feel like it's diminishing returns right but that's just me like i i now that he he feels like he can just make the kind he's got oh i have an idea for how i want to present this one image flat yeah flat and then people move the scene away that's right it looks like a play everyone makes jokes but keeps a morose face at all times and bill murray's in it yeah yes i feel like i kind of liked the earlier movies because he didn't have he couldn't like sell everyone on, I'm going to make sets for every single thing. Yeah, and it's going to be head to toe pink and then with blue accents. Back then he had to have like weird actors, weird characters like interacting in the real world.

And now it's just like you are in a board game. You know, oddly enough, the only one that's actually like different is bottle rocket yeah rocket doesn't like fit the visual palette or style of the rest it's like once rush once rushmore came along it's like every movie is going to be some version of rushmore yeah part of the rushmore verse but i also feel like rushmore couldn't like wasn't like every movie since uh the life aquatic has had like a set that is something cut in half, like submarine cut in half and the camera moves from room to room.

Like, so I feel like the, like Rushmore didn't have that. Maybe Tenenbaums didn't have that. You know, I think, I think Max Fisher would be canceled nowadays. You know,

you couldn't make a Max Fisher anymore. I mean mean there's a lot of hand jobs happening in that movie off screen yeah if it was on screen it would be like an artisanal kind of hand job like you've never seen i just pulled yeah i just pulled up the imdb of rushmore and brian cox is the like the headmaster of the school and he looks like he's the age he is now yeah he's he's been old forever he's one of those people who just reached geriatric age at 40 i guess like a reverse benjamin button he's uh he hit a certain age and then he just gets to stay that age he can't he

can't play uh captain picard anymore yeah but that that's picard too picard and looks the same in 88 as he does now that's true if you like if you're already bald and have the fringe like there's no other unless you just get like all fucked up in the face then there's no kind of like marker of where i feel like there's probably actors who are like oh i'm once i get like old looking i will then i'll clean up but now i'm just a young guy who's like i've got a weird face and no one wants me in a movie wants to be around me yeah but like it's it's like it's like people age at different like like patrick stewart aged up really quickly and jonathan frakes was his young underling and now jonathan frakes looks significantly older than patrick stewart somehow like how did that happen what's the chemistry

there just uh genetics you know some genetics some hard partying i guess tough yeah tough living i don't know man i don't know how people stay i watched a documentary last night where they showed a woman in 1990 and she looked like it was a day later when they interviewed her. She had the most beautiful skin and no wrinkles at all and her hair still looked fantastic. Oh, I wish I had my 1990s skin. Oh, yeah, absolutely. It was hypercolor. Just covered in acne.

Oh, amazing. Just gargantuan pimples. yeah yeah and uh and maybe a bad teenage mustache then i never had like the many pimple type of acne but i had like at any given time like eight pimples that were like the size of a giant coin just wounds just bullet wounds on my face i yeah i had zits definitely as a teenager and i remember my sister telling me that they were gross and uh she said they're gross you're gross you're never gonna pop them and i was and then people telling me don't pop your zits you'll end up like brian adams yeah you'll be singing songs forever. But he's successful. Yeah. Or like Seal. Seal

had a bunch of acne scars. No, no. That was like lupus or something. Oh, no. Was it? Whoops. I shouldn't speak on Seal. I had my zit zone was the forehead. Forehead zit all the time. Used Oxypads. That was what I... Nice. You guys?

What was your zit control situation um oxy pads burned so it felt like they were working yeah i used everything yeah i i went extreme i was on accutane oh shit you know yeah i was so i so i'm like six two i'm a nice tall guy yeah and i reached this height when I was like 12. And I sort of like went through puberty really early, hence the very early onset of severe acne. And they were like,

Accutane's only supposed to start at age 16, but you're already 6'2", and your face is fucked. So you should probably take this extreme drug that rots your liver, makes you blind and guarantees depression wow accutane's the business man are you kidding me it's so and like if you if there's something else that makes you blind uh but i don't do it all november yeah

because that eating garfield eats pizza maybe yeah if like accutane if you're pregnant it like guarantees deformities in your in your baby Is that eating Garfield eats pizza? Maybe. Yeah. It's like Accutane. If you're pregnant, it like guarantees deformities in your, in your baby. Well, and if it doesn't,

do I get my money back? Yeah. That's the sell. You maybe ate too many chocolate bars. Oh yeah. Chocolate bars. Or that I didn't wash my face. My brother's,

my brother says I'll probably grow out of it, but I don't think so. You know what? That's my celebrity lookalike. There you go. Look at that guy. What was that commercial for? Zits? It wasn't.

Or it was anti-candy maybe? It was some zit cream. It was a zit promo, I think. I think they were trying to sell kids on accepting their zit. What was the early 2000s extreme zit treatment that Jessica Simpson- Oh, yeah. Didn't Adam Levine do it as well? Neutrogena? was the early 2000s like extreme zit treatment that like jessica simpson oh yeah didn't adam levine oh do it as well neutrogena no no no no there was another one like it's called it's like a medicine what was the one that you proactive proactive proactive proactive um there's a weird

rule in canada that you can advertise a medication but you can't say what it does you can say the name of it and you can pick up visuals that you think will communicate what it is which is always old people in a outdoor bath yeah old people in a bathtub somebody on a swing you know uh but then it'll just say like referral. And then I don't know. Then I never guess. Ask your doctor about the purple pill. That's like, that's like the starkest difference when you go to the States

and you watch, like every other commercial is like a sales pitch for a truck. Yeah. Yeah. Or some class action vaginal mesh lawsuit. There's also a weird rule in Canada

that you could pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose. Yeah canadian i thought that was france yeah i guess you can't pick your french no that's how they took down conrad black anyway so i yeah black harbor i gotta tell you i loved uh loved... I don't know if I loved the movie. The movie was great. Good stuff. Solid effort?

As advertised. I don't know if it's going to stick to my ribs. But I loved the movie-going experience. Did you do popcorn? I know people who've gone back... No, I didn't have popcorn. I snuck in a beer. Snuck in a beer.

Did you wear 3D glasses, even though it wasn't a 3D? No, I wore a 3D contact lens. know you can just buy a beer at the movies though not this theater but dave likes it because he drills a hole in the bottle of the beer and then he puts a keyhole and does the shotgun not during november guys that's right for our semen retaining semen retaining like that guy this is like going to see any band now you're like this band rules or do they or do i just like to go out of my house now i can't tell yeah yeah anyway if you if we if our podcast comes to your town just remember we rule yeah we rule you can bring in your own beer if you want that's a podcast experience rules yeah there was 25 minutes of uh trailers and commercials and i was like this rules

i love commercials yeah i love trailers oh man i want to see belfast did they have like pre-show fun things no no no they didn't have like trivia yeah trivia yeah the trivia there was no tanner zip chin tanner zip chin he was done wrong you know he was he screwed that guy yeah they did him dirty he should go he should uh go to another medium and become the tanner zip chin of radio or something like that you know what i mean well he started off on radio i think when they went to movies so you can't go back to radio and for anyone who doesn't know tanner zip chin uh in canada was the guy he would when like if you're at a movie early they would just be running video the whole time and it would be tanner zip chin was your host and he would throw to an interview with emily blunt oh

hey what was it like uh did you meet Julie Andrews when you got to play... This is not what Sanders and Schaaf sounded like. He's much more charming than this, Dave. You're doing him dirty right now. Practically perfect maid. Whatever her name is. Hey, save up your scene points get some popcorn here at does your movie fucking suck or is it good

is it as good as the early west anderson movies or is it so you're the new mary poppins that fucking rules rules man does julie andrews does she resentful of you because you're such a fucking babe can i say that yeah you're so emily blunt i'm gonna roll up a blunt of my own you know what i mean can i be can i be blunt go on a date with me emily yeah hey uh you're married to john krasinski uh what if you weren't what's he packing what'd you say hey uh hey krasinski you got one of them polish sausages down there am i right i'm here with emily blunt and emily i have to know do you have any tums having acid reflux.

Here's a funny joke for people who were baby boomers. Like, I used to have acid flashbacks. Now I got acid reflux. That's pretty good. That is pretty good. I laughed and I'm not even a boomer. You're writing the script. So you take that joke home and you put that in it and i'm gonna need four alts

yeah yeah just in case anyway hollywood is back uh check out a movie hollywood is back in a big way a big way huge way hollywood you know hollywood it rocks yeah and hugh jackman told us that the musical's back so that's exciting too that we've got that to look forward to nice are there any uh have you thought about seeing movies since your first experiences both of you um what would it take for you to go see a movie some free time would be nice yeah a little you know what a little ten or zip chin would give me in the theater a lot quicker. That's true. Could you guarantee that I'll be Zipchan?

You've been zipped. Zip. Like, he would come on this show, no problem. Tanner Zipchan? Do we want that? You guys would have to pay. No one listening at him. No, don't at him.

We'll at him ourselves. But if you've got an email for him, send it our way. That's by atfund.org. Yeah, you can reach him at tanner at cineplex.ca. He still checks it. That's his email that he still gives. That was his severance package that he gets to keep the email for Cineplex. That would be pretty cool.

You know, that would be one of one what was the deal with him why was he let go when was he let go i feel like they could have let him go during the pandemic and people would be like what are you gonna do i don't know but i think he was like paid in scene points that's no that's a joke no it's real that's a that's a tweet that you got some traction i'll do my own research yeah yeah yeah oh no it's one of these guys I think um

Tanner was he was the solo host and then for a while there was a they added a second host oh no I feel like the writing was on the wall Brian Dunkelman Brian Dunkelman or uh yeah uh what's another famous Brian I'm at a loss. Damn it.

Cranston. Brian Dennehy. The ghost of Brian Dennehy. Hey, Tanner. You're so good. Have you ever seen Tommy Boy? Tell me if this freaks you out that I'm a ghost now. Graham, what's going on with you?

Here's the thing about me. Despite its popularity and its longevity, I have only been to an IKEA as a young person, as a child. I have not been since. And then this week, I broke the streak. I went to IKEA. Wow. Yeah.

I went to IKEA with past guest Alicia Yeah. I went to Ikea with past guest, Alicia Tobin. She was, she was picking up something and then kind of walked around the store. I tried to find a bathroom and it was insanity. It was insanity. You found many bathrooms, but they were not.

Yeah, that's right. And people kept yelling at me and I was like, okay, this one then Jesus make up your mind. Is it a toilet or is it not? Why don't I just go and see if the flusher works after? Do they actually, I guess they must have display bathrooms.

I've never noticed. Yeah, they did. With fake toilets? Yeah. Yeah. That's when I realized I needed to pee when I saw the toilet. Then I was like, oh, suggestive. Yeah.

And so, but the thing is, this is how I think they get you. You see the toilet, Then I was like, Oh, suggestive. Yeah. And so, but the thing is, this is how I think they get you. You see the toilet, then you got to pee. Then you have to walk through the entire fucking store to get to where the washrooms are. It's all the way at the entrance. You can go to where the potted plants are.

Yeah, that's true. Potted plants, toilets, just in my pants, ball pit. You, you gotta wear adult diapers when you go to ikea oh man you

would know that if you frequented it yeah yeah yeah that because you just get stuck in there is that the kind of thing or is it just yeah it's like it's like a video game in there because there's like there's the trail through where you're supposed to go but there's like secret shortcuts between yeah that's true yeah and the trail is is uh what what I think is cool is that there's like arrows on the ground, but that are just like gobos. Oh, really? That are lights? Yeah, it's lights that are pointing you in this direction. So they can switch you up anytime and then suddenly you're in Squid Game.

Yeah, exactly. I was, yeah, at one point I was helping an elderly Korean man make his way through the maze. Boy, oh boy. Can I say, without spoiling it, that Squid Game ending was the worst possible ending. It stunk so bad. Come at me. You didn't like a 35-minute conversation with someone who couldn't speak in a hospital bed? What's wrong with you?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Without spoiling it, yes. I disagree. I think it was fine. Who fine who cares yeah that's how i feel who cares my my feeling is uh the last episode of every show sucks no that's not true what about the seinfeld finale universally loved seinfeld finale um yeah so i went to ikea and uh there's uh i took one of those were you looking for something no i was just are we all i was yeah i mean i'm looking for love i'm mostly in the wrong places ikea um but uh i i hated it i say, I hated the experience. I hate the feeling of being in there. It felt like I was trapped in like a windowless, you know.

But also that there's so many people there that are genuinely enjoying it makes it even worse. Then you're like, it's me. Abby and I used to go, I don't know, every day. Was it your local we would uh but we went often enough that we noticed a phenomenon we called ikea love which was couples that were moving in together for the first time and that would be like oh this will be great we'll keep all our umbrellas in here yeah all of our umbrellas i'm dating the penguin you see so he has multiple how about how about instead of curtains we get this bamboo roll up it'll stink if it gets wet it won't get wet the uh yeah i saw a woman

smell the same candle four times then walk away from the candle and then two minutes later came back and bought the candle yeah someone changed the gobo on her they're they're watching you on cameras being like she almost bought the candle send her back to the candle so she reconciled send her back to the candle she's looking at what the candle smells like my finger weird how odd um i uh yeah no ikea i have mixed feelings about um like the stuff they make is fine it looks good and it's fine but it's fine i mean it's uh it's uh like before we had kids uh i was like okay we're not having any more ikea no more kids instead of ikea so no more ikea and then we had kids and i was like okay well we gotta get we're not buying good furniture for our kids yeah yeah they're gonna wreck it real quick they're

gonna piss on it they're gonna barf on it yeah smear jam so yeah we'll go to ikea every day now uh but um uh now i like uh here's what i like about Ikea. Meatballs. Uh, the meatballs are fine. The sense of community. The, I don't like the cafeteria. People go crazy for the cafeteria. I didn't even make it to the cafeteria.

I wanted out. People, people think that's, uh, you just jumped out a second floor window. Yeah. Yeah. I was in the offices upstairs and that was the worst.

I, uh, I like their, uh, food offerings sure i'll buy like five things every time i go okay they now have these uh syrups okay so like there's like so in the past i've made my own rhubarb cordial which is when you uh get a bunch of rhubarb and vodka and mix it together and let it sit for a month that's what you do instead of watching movies or tv shows yeah this sounds like

a pandemic hobby if i've ever heard it i stare at my my uh fermenting cordial this is going to be so good in two months but now in the summer uh i just get the ikea rhubarb syrup and pour that in my vodka and that's just as good just does the trick and in the winter they out have a lingonberry syrup which feels very christmassy and do you feel like you're cheating on the rhubarb when you have lingonberry no no it's a summer winter so much they'll never write winter friends yeah never the two shall meet yes exactly when you go to ikea when you because you're like you know you're going to university or whatever and you get you you get used to it and then you grow up you're like oh this stuff is all shit and then you go to a real furniture store you're like how much does furniture cost this is a nightmare oh but oh but someone else

put it together already oh that's how they get yeah yeah yeah this laundry hamper is 480 dollars and they're like we we can dismantle it and we'll sell it to you for lower but then you have to put it together yourself or you can go on task rabbit and get them to assemble your laundry basket at home does it at least have a fun name? No, it's called a hamper. It's just a hamper. This is not the same experience. You can call it Jason the

hamper. I don't care. You can call it Jason. Just get out of my store. That's my favorite kids cartoon, Jason. Have you guys ever been thinking about buying something and then you'd be like i'm coming right back to buy this i'm just gonna get my car or like whatever and then you're too scared because you realize you can't afford it but you don't let them know

oh yeah i was at a furniture store and we were gonna buy this coffee table we're like this coffee table's so good me and my wife this is amazing and the guy's like yeah blah blah like how much is it and he's like some astronomical price and we were like oh yeah we're just gonna go get the car and then we'll be back for this yeah we're gonna drive you can pay for it now and then just bring the car around though no but my credit card's in the car well i just want to measure i just want to measure the oh we have measuring tape in the store yeah i'll measure cool yeah i'm want to measure i just want to measure the oh we have measuring tape in this store yeah i'll measure cool yeah i'm allergic to your measuring tape you are oh you know what i have it right here on my phone here's how much it measures oh yeah yeah what's that over there that's a bird

um yeah he left i do like doing that where because you do feel like you owe them the sale if they It's a bird. Yeah. He left. I do like doing that where, cause you do feel like you owe them the sale. If they spent any time talking to you, you're like, oh man, you did such a great job. I remember I once was like in a,

uh, an eyeglasses store on Robson street on my lunch break. Sure. And I was just looking at stuff and the salesman came up and he was like do you like these and i was like yeah i like them i kind of like these ones better oh yeah uh what do you like about them well i mean they're they have green lenses i wish i they had like dark blue lenses oh like this and he brought out these dark blue lenses and i was like oh no, yeah, that would be cool.

And he's already taken your wallet out of your pocket. It's a sale. But he's like, and then I remember him, like, talking to me. And then he was like, okay, well, like, he went over to get the, like, debit machine. And he was like, all right, well, it's whatever. A thousand million dollars. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah and uh i remember thinking oh like i have to walk all the way over there to pay but the door is

right here yes yeah yeah yeah but guess what i did i went and i paid the place where i go to get eyeglasses i felt bad the place where i go to get eyeglasses the guy he's like he's so pushy where he's like it's like let me look at your face okay and then he takes the time to like assemble like a like a pick of five glasses yes and then he's like he tries them on he's like no not this one like as if he's not trying to make a sale he's like i'm actually just having your best interest in mind but then you always end up on the pair of glasses that's like 900 dollars yeah you're like these are the ones like oh i don't feel good about this i get that when uh shopping for shoes shopping for shoes i find is very panic inducing because then you put on the shoes and they're like walk around in it so you walk like 10 paces and they're like how's that feel and you're like i don't have no

idea and then put on another one i don't know i don't know how these are supposed to feel their shoes i don't think about they don't hurt yeah they don't hurt but uh i don't know do they suck i have no idea and then they do that thing where they they like tap the end of your shoe where your toe is show me where your toe is. Show me where your toe is. It feels like something you do to little kids. But whatever happens, they go, that's nice. That's good. Well, you'll grow into them.

I'm 40. Oh, man. Well, should we move on to some overheards? I think we have a little bit of business. Oh, shit. Oh, that sound means that it's time to do a little bit of business oh shit oh that sound means that it's time to do a little bit of business uh dave yeah this week we got a bit of a uh jumbo john message um the telling us the the tony ho show it's starting up i listen to that tony ho podcast yeah if you could do the voice that would be great it's tony ho

well there it is hey it's me tony ho uh no this is one this is a personal message for chris aka sniffles okay i'll play chris okay go ahead so you you think sniffles has the sniffles yeah uh i guess so it sniffles with a z cartoon logic everyone is named with what they do exactly yeah okay what's your name the genius um my name is uh miguel sits a lot nice yeah sir miguel sits a lot that's pretty good uh happy 40th birthday chris from nathaniel i'm so glad that we are still in each other's lives and somehow the same city. 30 plus years ago, I could not have foreseen the paths

that we have taken. To celebrate, let's fire up a SNCC VHS, play some Ghost in the Graveyard, and blast the Mayor McCheese rap, or just go out and try to unearth the next great overheard. Happy birthday, November 21st. Chris, a.k.a. Sniffles from Nathaniel.

Sniffles or Sniffles? Sniffles. Not Sniffles? Not Sniffles. You know what? Maybe reconsider. Maybe do two Zeds next time. Not sniffles? Not sniffles. You know what? Maybe reconsider. Maybe do two Zeds next time. Sniffles. Like Tanner's sniffle chain.

All right, let's move on to some overheards. Look, it's a rough world out there, especially lately. I get it. So let's take care of our minds as best we can. I'm John Moe, host of Depression Mode with John Moe. Every week, I talk with comedians, actors, writers, musicians, doctors, therapists, and everyday folks about the obstacles that our world and our brains throw in front of us. Depression, anxiety, traumatic stress, all those mental health challenges that are way more common and more treatable than you might think. The first time I went to therapy, I was so ashamed.

And I was like, I can't believe I got to go in there. Like, I thought I could be a man. And Humphrey Bogart was never in therapy. And then my dad said, yeah, but he smoked a carton of cigarettes a day. Give your mind a break. Give yourself a break. And join me for Depressed Mode with Jon Moe. You're in the theater.

The lights go down. You're about to get swept up by the characters and all their little details and interpersonal dramas. You look at them and think, that person is so obviously in love with their best friend. Wait, am I in love with my best friend? That character's mom is so overbearing. Why doesn't she stand up to her? Oh, good God. Do I need to stand up to my own mother?

We never know when we'll see ourselves in a movie, but that search for recognition is exactly what we're going to talk about on the podcast Feeling Seen with me, Jordan Cruciola. Each episode, we'll bring in a guest to talk about the films that they see themselves in and also the ways that movies have fallen short. So join me every Thursday

for the Feeling Seen podcast here on Maximum Fun or wherever you find your podcasts. Overheard. Overheard. Boy, oh boy. It's a big wide world out there. Worth exploring if you can.

And you know what? Some of the gold that you'll bring back may be something you've overheard. We always like to start with the guest. Miguel, would you please lead us into the overheard? So one of the funniest things that I've ever overheard was in Cuba. Yes, I'm a man who travels the world. Nice. Well done.

Yes. My wife and I were in Cuba, small digression, because she was pregnant at the time and we were supposed to go to Brazil where she's from. But there was this little pandemic, which now seems like a joke called Zika. Oh, yes. Remember that? So we we went to Cuba instead and didn't tell anyone. And so I couldn't share this story. So I'm happy to share it now.

Nice. Which is we were at this resort in Cuba and there was this man, you know, you kind of like get to know everybody. tell anyone and so i couldn't share this story so i'm happy to share it now nice which is uh there we were at this resort in cuba and there was this man you know you kind of like get to know everybody in the resort when you're in a resort you see them like every day walking around right the smaller yeah well i mean with my friend i went i went to this place called the white lotus with a few of my closest friends and some pretty wacky stuff happened true characters um and there was this this older you know late late 50s british man who just would get absolutely wasted and and sunburned all day every day and we're like what's this guy's deal and then um one day he never said much, but then one day we were walking by the pool and he stood up and everyone overheard it because he yelled across the resort.

I put it down, put down the fucking towel. That's my fucking towel. And he's screaming it so loud at the top of his lungs about this towel that staff had to come over and calm him down and then he pushed someone down and ran over to some like literal teens who he thought were stealing his towel from like his like sun chair um and hey put it down put down the fucking towel is something me and my wife still say to each other to this day. That's pretty good. That's pretty great. I mean, I'm assuming this is a resort where you bring your own towel.

You have to be very possessive of it. This is kind of resort life where it's like, hey, well, this is a lot of resorts. It's like, hey, welcome to the resort. This resort is your oyster. Do whatever you want, but return this towel. Yeah. This towel on the bed. If you don't return this towel yeah this towel on the bed if you don't return this towel there's going to be a charge you don't want this charge and you do not

want to ask for a second towel during your stay look after this towel like it's like it's the we only have one ring from lord of the rings like do not lose this towel i've never been to a resort i've never been i don't know what i've never been to a resort you gotta live yeah live it up graham you do you don't like the sun no i don't know i'm not particularly fond of it on a cruise ship is like a floating resort but there's not as much pool time on a cruise ship but maybe it's because it was cold and it was september or something is there towel policing you know what there's buffet policing like you wouldn't believe there's a lot of people keeping their eye on you if you're just at the

little hot bar with the lamps boy put down the shrimp my shrimp you get 14 shrimps and that's it put down my fucking trip that's your 15th trip i counted put down the omelet from the omelet bar oh that's my favorite thing at a resort is the omelet bar yeah oh yeah sure here's what i get mushrooms yeah oh yeah i get onions yeah oh i get ham oh this is starting to sound really good i get peppers oh yeah this is more ingredient than omelette at this point this is loading this thing what else do I get how many eggs do we need to hold this omelette together we have to six eggs six egg omelette

here or what I get ground beef in there you're gonna get you're gonna need cheese is cheese a given yeah do I have just cheese or you're like excuse me sir what cheese do you have yeah because I brought my own subway cheese in case you don't have it just cheese or you're like um excuse me sir what cheese do you have yeah yeah exactly because i brought my own subway cheese in case you don't have it and uh finally uh feathers just so i

remember where i came from yeah right right and you can stick them in like a little like birthday candles nice yeah that's fun you guys made omelets do omelets fun. Do you get olives in an omelet? You could. I wouldn't. I don't think you do. I don't think that's in an omelet. Yeah, I don't think you need all of that. Yeah. It's Tony Ho. It's on CBC.

there's a... Because I've been getting into olives. I've been putting them on my homemade pizzas, all my homemade nachos. I never ate olives before. And now I'm thinking, oh, do they go on, do they go with an omelet? I tried them with an omelet. I think it looks visually not pleasing to have a bunch of eggs and just black spots in it, but I think it would taste good.

Do you like the olives with like the cheese stuffed in them? Like pimento? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like all, all very, all olives. it would taste good do you like the olives with like the cheese stuffed in them like pimento yeah yeah i like yeah yeah yeah i like all all very all olives i mean maybe not with like do they have ones that have like garlic cloves stuffed in them yeah they got those they got i couldn't i don't think i could eat too many of those have you ever had an olive where they like stuff it with like a little omelet tiny tiny egg portion that sounds like a dream it's like an omelet is just whatever you get on a pizza you could get in an omelet yeah yeah that makes sense so like you get it all yeah get some pizza sauce on there

get some pizza let's throw some sardines on there i say tomato for my for my omelette? No. I'll get tomatoes on there. You just assumed. That's like a TikTok hack that I saw where it's like, you've got leftover pizza. Start the makings of an omelette and drop the pizza upside down in the pan. And then you have this absolutely... Kick-ass omelette? Horrific. Miguel, are you on TikTok?

I am on TikTok. Do you do stuff or are you just checking it out? I did a couple things just for the hell of it but i felt like an idiot a b i'm too old to be on tiktok that way um and also if you want to like be on tiktok posting a lot it's like a job you got to post all the time and you know twitter is like you know what if what if what if an olive had an egg in it and there you go and that's it yeah but. You have to make a movie every time you make a TikTok.

Set up a tripod and have a bit and a script, and then you've got to edit it, set it to music. Edit it outside and then post it? Or do you post it using... Do they have software? They have a little editing thing in there, but I use some other app on my phone when I did it. I'm talking like I've done five

videos. You've done five more than me. I'm as mystified about this as I am cryptocurrency. TikTok rules though, man. There's so much fun stuff on there. Are you kidding me? It's great. Yeah, it's great. I just hope it... I love whatever ends up on Instagram. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. I've got omelette hacks on there. Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah. By the way, I never make my own omelets. It's only at the omelet bar. Only at the omelet bar. Maybe a restaurant I would order an omelet, but I'm not.

It's like fries. It's good at a restaurant. It's a nightmare to make at home. It's not even a nightmare. I just don't like seeing myself do it. Yeah, restaurant. It's a nightmare to make at home. It's not even a nightmare. I just like, don't like seeing, seeing myself do it. Yeah. Cause you've got those big mirrors in the kitchen and you're like, gross, why did I put these in?

It needs to be an out of body experience. My over. You're not an omelet guy. You don't, you don't look like an omelet guy. You don't have the energy of an omelet guy. That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me that I don't look like an omelet guy. my overheard is so it's an overseen and uh this is a piece of spam email i receive uh received and i i you know i get spam email every day i'm an important guy people popular guy yeah uh you

normally it's like you've uh the uh it's usually like some scam to get you to want three million dollars or like you want a bigger penis it's probably getting three million dollars if you get a long enough penis i've actually never gotten that spam that's weird oh cool guy with the big penis over yeah yeah no i mean i'm it's weird that i've never got but they sometimes they send you one that says do you want an even bigger hog oh for sure because mine is i got a tiny hog uh but i'll get uh it's usually a money thing and sometimes it's like hey uh you've been you've gotten this grant or it's like uh the uh bill gates has given you this loan for millions of dollars that's nice you have to click here to unlock it you've only got one hour yeah well actually give us your information anytime uh but this is one that made me laugh

the other day and it said uh the the um the subject was re so it's replying to my email uh re bad news are you dead question mark oh no oh shit they know something you don't know and it's from someone named brown chucks and it said greetings my dear a message was sent to my desk this morning from one mr james wiley in confirmation that you were dead from Corona virus quote COVID-19. Please confirm back. Thanks. Brown chucks. Brown chucks. What do you think?

Trying to get me to reply back and say, Oh no, I'm not dead. Mr. Mr. Chucks. Mr. Chucks.

No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

The money, I can still use it. I can still use it. No mention of money. Capitalized in chucks. Like, is it the shoes? Oh yeah.

Yeah. It might be the, like a brown pair of Converse Chuck Taylors. Like, you got the shoes have an email and are trying to scam you? Yeah. Just tell us you're not dead, please, Dave. Yeah, to say

it ain't so, they're saying. Yeah. Do you get spam? Oh, yeah, constantly. And for stuff that I mean, you know, sure sure would i want a bigger penis sure sure why not you know what i mean a lot's a lot but a lot more pretty nice right oh please i'd like to double it yeah exactly double down on uh on the size i'm writing down a penis on the paper and i'm sliding it across the desk.

Yeah, this is what I'm thinking. Do you have an overheard Graham? I do. I was driving. Because I was driving. Past guest Alicia Tobin to Ikea. And passed by City Hall. And the protest of the day.

What did Alicia get? She got a table of some sort she loves that she likes that she doesn't want to like draw on the floor no no no you want to sit at a table yeah yeah yeah she's a sophisticate letters um did you get anything at ikea did i yeah i got a dish mat not a dish rag no a dish mat like to put under where your dishes are drying uh-huh yeah uh a lot of wet dishes at your house yeah i get emails about it are your dishes soaked is it is it flat or is it like wedge shaped so that it drains back into the sink oh that would be good no it's just flat so it's just flat but it's fabric is it is it like a thick puffy fabric yeah yeah yeah yeah it's not rubber we got one of those nice it rules not from ikea though god i'd never get a dish mat from ikea

no that's low class yeah no i got a 400 one from Shay Richard. So I was driving past City Hall and there were people, there was a big, well not big, it was small protest and it was the Maxime Bernier crowd, the QAnon kind of crowd. Yeah, the anti-ass and there was somebody with a bullhorn and I just caught him saying

this, and you'll never guess what they're saying about us online. Yeah. You know what? They're small but mighty. Yeah. They get out there. They put in the word. They're saying about us online, but then they just describe several spam emails that he received.

They're saying we're dead. They said we died. They sent a pair of shoes after me. They're talking about our tiny penises, day in, day out. For sale, anti-vaxxer shoes, never worn. Now, we also have overheards sent

in to us by people around the world. If you want to send one into us it's uh spy at maximum fun.org and um this first one from steve m this is a little girl was taking her grandpa to see a squirrel she says it's always there sometimes it's not but it's always there yeah pretty cute like when i see it it's there it's not there. Yeah. Pretty cute. Like when I see it, it's there. It's not there now, but when we come back,

there. We've got some, we've got squirrels and crows are our two major yard residents. You don't get any pigeons in there? No. Pigeons are, they're like. They're city funk.

Yeah, that's right. They live on the streets. They don't want to be in your yard. They want to are, they're like. They're city folk. Yeah, that's right. They live on the streets. They don't want to be in your yard. They want to be where the action is. But this year, squirrels have been going nuts making, I mean, going nuts. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean it.

Listen to the Tony Ho podcast. Yeah, you balked at my olive joke. Yeah, well. The dad jokes are flowing. I think they probably buried nuts in our flower pots. And because like, we'll just look out and the flower pots have been desecrated. There's just like dirt everywhere on the ground around the flower pots. But you know what?

Just leave them in there. Don't you dig them up and then enjoy their acorns and nuts that they put away? I don't even think I could. I love nuts. But I don't think I'd like the same as a squirrel does. If they think we're competing for nuts, we're not. I buy them at the store.

You're like a pecan kind of guy. I need them roasted. You only get your nuts from Ikea. I get Ikea nuts. Oh boy. V vodka soaked pecans yeah boy some of those Swedish mustard nuts oh that's good stuff

that sounds pretty good is acorn a nut? or is it a corn? it's a corn it's in the name this next overheard comes from Charlotte It's a corn. It's in the name. This next overheard comes from Charlotte. It is.

The acorn is the oak nut. The oak nut. Ooh. And by the way, I do not nut the entire month of November. This one comes from- No oak November. Yeah. No acorn all month. Man man you should see me in december whoo it's blown everywhere i don't even have time to go to the movies because i'm home with my acorn

rubbing two acorns together that's how that works right As far as I understand. This is from Charlotte from Brighton, England. This is an overseen I saw in the great city of Belleville, Ontario, while visiting my sister. One of several bumper stickers on a minivan in front of us had a red light. This is one. I'm not drunk. I'm passing snacks and whooping ass. Hashtag mom life. That's a lot for one bumper sticker to bear.

Sure. I was just talking today about you don't see bumper stickers anymore. Oh, I disagree. Really? I think it's notable when I see a bumper sticker. It's like. You're a recent car owner. Yeah.

Aficionado. That's right. Do you think about maybe getting a bumper sticker or one of those stick figure families oh yeah calvin and hobbs like peeing yeah yeah it's just me holding my peeing on hobbs to get those fetish calvin hobb cars the bumper sticker group has shifted to those long t-shirts that you can buy online.

Oh, yeah. Don't talk to me until I've had my vodka. Vodka's really big. My husband's a welder, and he'll kill you, and I love Roger Federer. And if you like him too, just get in line. It has something.

This last one comes from Sasha from Vancouver. I was watching the new Queer Eye with a friend who had never seen the series before. And as soon as Jonathan Van Ness appeared on the screen, she exclaimed, oh, that guy. I know him from memes. Yeah. Yeah. Is there anything that you only know from memes i like for me it's game of thrones that's the only thing i have information on it's from memes i've never watched it so i just that to me winter's coming that's the meme i know stick with me uh yeah like uh that uh racist frog that racist frog yeah pepe

oh he was at that protest as well he was there you should see what they're saying about me online he said he was just smirking in the background that knowing smirk um yeah i don't know what else i guess baby yoda you know from memes yoda but i also know regular yoda you got you guys just got to get on tiktok it's all memes all the time and there's just like people reuse audio over and over again so you scroll through tiktok and you hear the same audio 19 times in a row and you have no idea what it's from but everyone seems to be in on a joke that you're not a part of fun sounds like high school it's gonna be great get this app feel alienated by your own phone no less yeah in addition overheards that are written and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 one that's one spy pod one like these people have okay i uh think i uh pre-screened these calls let's find out together hey my name is pepe the frog hey david graham it's uh t from glenn ellen

here with uh my daughter beverly and my son vince we're at a playground on vacation in maryland right now and as we came onto the playground, one boy was chasing the little girl across the playground and he exclaimed, I'm going to get you in the name of science. Love the show. It's allowed if it's in the name of science. Yeah. Yeah.

You can do anything. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's really what those, what those, uh, protesters were,

uh, doing. They did their own research. Yeah. Yeah. That's right. those protesters were doing. They did their own research. Yeah, yeah, that's right. They won't believe what they're saying about us in the name of science. They have so many labs, those people. They just have all this time to conduct complicated research experiments. Yeah, yeah, that's right.

But they've done, yeah, they've done the, it's peer reviewed and it's good to go. They just have to get approval from the FDA to distribute Roganol. Have you tried to book a lab recently? It is hard. The labs are booked. Everyone's doing their own research. It's crazy. I mean, I've got a chocolate lab and he's just like run off his feet.

And he refuses to get back. Yeah. He refuses to roll over. Yeah. refuses to get back. Yeah. He refuses to roll over. Yeah, this dog hates vaccines. Yeah. Here's your next phone call. Hi Dave, Graham, possible guest. This is

Joyce from Brooklyn. I was just in Manhattan at an outdoor concert in Central Park. And these two women were talking. They were talking through the whole thing. I could only hear them in between songs.

So very quickly, I heard one of them say, my favorite thing in the world is to go to a local bar during a blizzard. Because only the weirdos go. and maybe i can make new friends off i go it's true sounds like my people if you're ever lonely in any city go to a bar during a blizzard uh because those people you get alcoholics who haven't planned ahead yes and like i one thing i noticed uh going to bars in toronto in the middle of winter is one table gets uh it just has to be the one where coats are put because there's no yeah like there's just becomes a little mudroom in the middle of the bar it's very cute are you a local because you sound like you know what to do at the gaslight the local

bar in my neighborhood you just stack your bomber what to do at the gaslight, the local bar in my neighborhood. You just stack your bomber jacket on top of the other one. And then you know what? Whoever's jacket you pull out, it's who you go home with. And if your jacket's on the bottom, you can't leave until everybody else is done drinking. Great. Just great, guys. Here's your

final phone call. Here we go. Hi, Dave and... Sorry. Hi, Dave and Graham. This is Ryan calling from Edmonton with an overheard. I was getting my snow tires put on at a car dealership, sitting in the waiting area, and heard a guy having an argument with what I assume was his partner

for almost half an hour uh the only relevant part of that conversation to this over here was when he finally very exasperated said no babe i told you i can't because i'm in a state of ketosis all right off i go yeah there's a lot of things you can't do i I guess, when you're in the state of ketosis. What would you, but like, what would someone ask you to do? Eat? Yeah. Eat a fudge.

Try this fudge. I just made this fudge. I can't. I'm just good at it. I'm burning. I'm burning more than I'm eating. I don't even know. I know that it, that diet involves a lot of eggs and meat.

don't even know i know that it the that diet involves a lot of eggs and meat but like being i think a state of ketosis means you're like your body is burning the fat instead of the calories that you have so you're like miserable i think that's right yeah it sounds miserable that's true i don't know like i can't go to your, I can't do anything fun. I'll be miserable. I don't want to spread my energy. Yeah, exactly. You guys are having fun. I would just,

I can't spread my seed this whole month. My energy is, is building up inside of me and I'm saving it. Saving it for December 1st. Yeah. And then everybody better watch out. Cause it's going to be a wide Christmas. December 1st. Yeah, and then everybody better watch out because it's going to be a white Christmas. December 1st. Kabam!

Rabbit, rabbit! Happy birthday. Happy birthday, everybody. Thank you so much for being our guest, Miguel. This was fantastic. Oh my gosh. Thank you for having me. I'm so thrilled. This was great. I'm glad we could make it work.

Tell us about all the things. Tell us about Tony Ho. Tell us where people can find you. All that kind of stuff. You can find me on Twitter and you can find me on Instagram at Meg Rivas. You can find me on TikTok at Meg Rivas, I guess.

That's my handle. Nice. You can listen to the TikTok at McGreevis, I guess, is my handle. You can listen to the Tony Ho podcast and the Help Tony Ho podcast on the CBC podcast network. They can find you at the Gaslight in Toronto. Yeah, you can find me at the Gaslight looking for my coat. You can hear me on CBC radio. You can watch me playing bit parts in small television shows. Sounds good to me. Keep your eye open. Keep it peeled. There you'll you'll find me well thank you again for being a guest and uh thank you thank you all you out there for listening uh we appreciate you uh downloading our podcast

and listening to it even if you're just humoring us we still like it and uh you know what take care of yourselves and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.