Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 716 - K.C. Novak

Episode Date: December 7, 2021

Comedian K.C. Novak returns to talk high school theatre, the Beatles, and water bottles. Want to be part of our Zoom call-in show on December 14th at noon Pacific? Email us at [e-mail] and if you’re chosen, we’ll send you a link and a time to call in.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 716 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who just entered the 41 Club, Mr. Dave Shumka. Shush, we're gonna, the older I get, the less listeners want me. No, it's not true. Tell them I'm 22 and cut tell them i'm cut you know forget about 22 just make sure you tell them that i'm cut yeah i'm shredded tell them i'm

shredded shredded like oh like a bag of jalapeno jack oh. Pour me over your nachos. Put a couple of olives on top of it. Oh, man. Nachos. Yeah. It's been a while. I should get back on that train. Our guest today, return guest here to the podcast. She's oh so funny.

She's told us that she has a corporate coming up soon, which is pretty good if you ask me. It's Casey Novak. Hi. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Nice mug, Graham. It's Casey Novak. Hi. Thanks for having me. Hiya. Nice mug, Graham. Thanks. You're welcome.

She's talking about his big old face. Yeah, big old face. How are you doing? I'm alive, which is pretty good in this day and age. Yeah. I'll note that. Yeah. So you're alive?

I'm alive. I check in every day to make sure. What's your check-in routine? When you, every every day how do you check to know that you're alive because sometimes i feel like uh-oh uh-oh i'm bruce willis in the sixth sense i think i've been people have been talking through me not to me oh that's true yeah you could slip into that non-reality really easily um well with the pandemic actually i have all these fun uh apparata i know like i have an oximeter so i can actually check my o2 whenever i need what so i can really check in with how alive i am what the heck what all of those things yeah it's the little pulse thing

that they put on your finger at the hospital and it'll also give you a read on how much oxygen is in your blood so that's just a fun little hobby I have now. And is that something that you cared about before the pandemic? No, I got really into breathing and how much I am during this whole thing. Yeah. What's your favorite, boy, breath? Deep? Mine also, final breath.

Inhale, I think, for sure. Better than out. Inhale, inhale inhale you're the victim waiting to exhale those are those are two things that go together very well yeah um brilliant so what else do you got you got an ad apparatus what other what are we talking about yeah i got a a home blood pressure monitor. Oh, is that one? Is it called a Svigmonometer? I don't know. I wish I knew what it was called. It's a Shrek-monometer.

I'm turning green. Yeah, that'd be fun if you had a monitor that was a Shrek brand and he tells you you're donkey. Yeah. Like today, you're pretty donkey. Tomorrow, you're donkey or you're yeah like today you're pretty donkey tomorrow you're gingerbread man your blood pressure

is 120 over donkey really good right yeah that'd be more fun yeah what's your blood blood pressure

do you want to talk about sure yeah let's get into it because everything is healthcare here right let's get to know us get to know us.

Get to know us. All right, now here we go. Tell us all about the magical world of blood pressure. Well, what I didn't know is there's a big wide open window for it. Like, it's not, they tell you 120 over 80. It doesn't have to be that. You can still be healthy and alive with a wide range of numbers. 000 over 1 yeah you're killing it then which is the one you want higher or do you want them both to be lower uh you know what i mean i've been i've been taking a break from my relationship

with the machine for a while so i forgot what's good or not i kind of right you're on a break yeah you're seeing other machines other people i'm going to shoppers i'm using the one there i've done that oh yeah do you ever feel trapped in it like uh no uh i feel like it's it's out of printer paper like it's supposed to print out a little receipt for you oh okay oh yeah that's right but it uh i feel i would feel trapped if i was waiting there for it to print something for me, and it didn't. But, you know, you just take a little picture of the screen and then Google what that means. Yeah, yeah.

Text your doctor. Text your doctor. Doctors love texts. I can't get my doctor off of sending me texts. They love all forms of communication. Oh, my goodness. Yeah. They really love talking to you.

Hey, man. I was just wondering if you had been eating mayonnaise again, as I told you not to. My doctor texts you up. Oh, I was talking to your blood pressure. Sexy doctor. Yeah. Do either of you have a sexy doctor? Mine wears teal eyeshadow, which I think is great.

Oh, that's nice. That's a nice accent. Yes. Dave, hot doctor? No, I don't even get my doctor. Every time I want an appointment with my doctor, they're like, well, you can get a different doctor at this clinic today, or you can get your doctor in a month and a half. So I don't know who my doctor is. Today, actually today, I went to the doctor.

Last night, I stubbed my toe all the time. Oh no. Like, I hate, I hate. Your toes. I hate, I guess, the world. I hate the world like below, you know inches high yes uh like a couple weeks ago I stubbed my toe and broke my big toenail and like have just been like trying to keep it together with like clear coat my wife's clear coat nail polish first line of defense yeah that's why i get manicures yeah keep all my fingers on and then

last night i was walking into our bathroom from our bedroom and i took the turn a little too tight uh and i hit three toes like my my pinky toe and the two necks over on the door jam and i made like this so like this terrible, painful sound. And Abby was going to laugh at me, but she thought I might really have hurt myself. Then I started laughing at myself and I was like, wow, that was really funny. But I think I'm okay. And I looked at my toes and they were fine. Oh, that's good.

And then a couple hours later, one of them was purple. It's the worst feeling in the world, though. When you do a stub or something like that i just rammed my elbow into my shower rack alone and you never feel more alone than in that pain where you're like i did this to me yeah i did this to me and there's no one to to help me get uh you know good about it yeah good about this no anyway so i went to the doctor today and she said uh yeah it might be broken. I don't know. Why are you asking me, dude?

Yeah, if we x-rayed you, the treatment would be the same as not knowing. So, here's the treatment. Yeah, do you want me to cut off that toe? I could do that. I could probably get the bandsaw in here. Bandsaw? I don't think that's what they use. But they do use things that look like a pizza cutter, don't they?

For my toe? To cut off my toe? I don't know if they would use... No, just to like cut into things, bones and such. Have you been watching medical dramas or where do you have that reference point from? Oh, I think from a medical horror movie. Okay, yeah. Like it looks like a pizza cutter. From the movie Banzai?

Pizza cutter? off the pizza cutter i think for a baby toe like mine uh they could just use like what they use to like take off the lock on a locker oh yeah yeah like a little pincer guy yeah a big pincer guy um what's uh like how do you often hurt yourself casey you say the in the shower do you have like a emotionally or yeah emotionally that's what i was wondering yeah well i'm so tall so the world How do you often hurt yourself, Casey? You say that in the shower, do you have like a. Emotionally or. Yeah, emotionally. That's what I was wondering. Yeah. Well, I'm so tall. So the world is not built for me.

And also my apartment specifically is not built for me. So I am six foot one. Okay. And then my ceilings are six foot two. So. Yeah. Wow. I just make clearance.

Just constantly. Your hair is being pushed back no matter where you are i couldn't i couldn't wear a top knot for a long time that's a sitting down activity from now on yeah yeah well actually what was really a problem was i couldn't be happy because anytime I was happy I would jump well can I solve that for you I mean I think I've already have with my depression but continue yeah well if you're happy and you know it you should have seen me earlier do you uh I was so you uh are into biometrics. You're constantly trying to know what blood is doing. You're doing that finger prick thing from that documentary about that woman in the turtleneck. Theranos, is it? Yes.

Where they're diagnosing you on the daily. The blood lord, yeah. Yeah, is it? Yeah. Yes. Where they're diagnosing you on the daily. The Blood Lord. Yeah. Yeah. At Walgreens. And you are, do you, do you have like a smartwatch or a Fitbit? Yeah, actually. And the reason why medical issues are top of mind at the moment, I had surgery last week.

I'm fine, et cetera. But I took off the Fitbit for surgery because they don't want you to cheat the system. I don't know. You'll go by our numbers, thank you very much. Yeah. Just so you know, you're not taking any steps while you're getting surgery.

I can just see going back the next week and being like, I was legally dead. You guys didn't tell me and it looks like 18 minutes that's a long time to be dead what were you doing so I did have the Fitbit on all the time and it was actually driving me crazy

because I was getting obsessed about my pulse so I stopped looking at that but it's been really nice not to wear it since last Thursday so maybe I'm moving out of my. Your phase. I was thinking I'm interested in a Fitbit, but only for like a week. I want to know. I just want to know how many steps.

How many steps are you taking a day? Yeah. How many steps? Okay. I walked the dog twice today, so I took this many steps. Okay. Well, then I know how many steps I'll take if I walk the dog once. You know what? You'll need a pedometer. You need a pedometer. dog once, you know, you know what you'll need pedometer pedometer.

That's all. Well, you could start there. You have a pedometer Casey. No, but I mean, I was going to say, Dave,

I was in your camp like, Oh, this will be interesting just to see, but it was the quickest conversion to a cult in my life of just being inside the Fitbit all the time. Right. And tracking. Yeah.

Yeah. For me, the quickest conversion to a cult was when i was selling leggings yeah oh man do you have a million banana like print i have a million banana leggings yeah yeah the second quickest conversion to a cult is when i was playing 3 a.m volleyball um was this uh was that the hail bop that was the nexium one oh the nexium one oh wow sorry that i mean everyone knew the legging joke yeah i think maybe i didn't no one confused well i got one left my sister's into cults i don't do the cult stuff so she's into them like she

wants to be in one um no she i mean she can tolerate all like the murder podcasts and those things i just get obsessed with my heartbeat that's what i'm into yeah but that's like do you feel like you're predisposed to be in a cult because like you said you're you're quickly oh yeah i'm so susceptible what type of cult would you would you dig if you could pick your cult? I don't know, one that gives a lot of massages, I think. Yeah, that happens a lot. If there was like a massage train, I'd be like, okay.

Oh, that does seem like a way to indoctrinate people. Everybody get in the massage train. Yeah, do you think you maybe just want to go to theater camp? Oh, that's where this all started. Where this is all coming from. I was the is all coming from i was the drama club president you were the drama club president yeah and i mandated back rub trains at every meeting like we're gonna touch each other again yeah yeah uh the minutes from last meeting uh massage train and then that was the end of the meeting last week.

My seven-year-old came home from school one day a couple weeks ago, and she just pointed at me and she went, zip. And I was like, uh-oh. Oh, that's how it starts. What did you do? I said zap. Oh, my God. You're encouraging her. Why can't you get in tonight?

Zip. What power did the drama club president have? What were you able to do with that title? No, and I was just tall. Like, it just... Tall. Fed together. I remember...

I don't... I wasn't a good leader. I remember yelling. That's what's coming back to my memory. Right. But maybe I was just preparing for a character. I don't know. Yeah. I remember yelling. That's what's coming back to my memory. Right. But maybe I was just preparing for a character. I don't know. Yeah, you were Stanley Kowalski?

No. Is that the guy's name? Stella? Her name Desire, yeah. Sure. Yeah, Stella. Do you remember any of the plays that you put on? Sure, yeah.

We did Midsummer Night's Dream. I played Helena because she was tall. It was a big big theme we did JB as well which is a like a modern-ish adaptation of the story of Job okay which is just really funny I love that SNL sketch where it's like uh high school theater kids saying you know important hard truths in front of an audience because it was just wild to have like high schoolers reenact the story of job and like tragic huge loss in life yeah i mean uh somebody's got to do it you know well i mean i don't know if adults could even like relate to the story of joe that's true did people have to pay money to come see the show good question yeah i think so we had like a proper

auditorium and costumes yeah you gotta pay yeah you to see a high school show absolutely i don't think i've ever i don't think i've ever attended one then maybe it's because i was a student maybe i didn't pay for for that but like adults pay money to go see or could i like just any adult can go yeah that's weird yeah that is kind of weird that is weird yeah yeah if you had seasons tickets to a high school and they're like well they're doing this one about joe but sounds real sad just seasons you can say everything the high school is doing, like soccer game, play sports day. Yeah. International food day.

They're like, we'll take your money about you're a creep. Yeah. Yeah. We, you know, but creeps money is good too. Um, did you Casey, you'd grew up in the United States of America? I did mainly in Ohio Mainly in Ohio 12 grades? 13 grades?

What do you got down there? Oh I don't I've repressed all of it I think 12 That's awesome I can't repress anything it's all there Really? All of Graham's memories are right at the surface That's right

I'm like Mary Lou Hanner I'm so sorry Well that's okay Are there 13 grades here? I mean no unless you can't kindergarten Well Quebec has a 13 doesn't it? Yeah and so does Ontario Or they did

Crazy couple of provinces eh? They're the biggest and the wackiest If you ask me. So you didn't have a good time in high school? This is what I'm getting from you? No, I think I did. I just didn't. I mean, I don't glorify it or I don't really go back to it.

So you would never go to a reunion or anything like that? No, and that did happen. And there were rumblings. They were organizing a reunion on a boat i'm like that's the worst idea in the world and also we're in ohio so we're going to be on the river that's what we're going to do until we just go on a boat on the river yeah because you you went to breaker high that's why they want to reunite oh i wish i knew that reference but Is that Canadian only, that show?

Breaker High was a show about kids going to school on a boat. Yeah, living and going. They didn't leave the boat ever. They were on the boat all the time. Ryan Gosling was on it. Ryan Gosling was on it. Tyler Labine? Yeah, Tyler Labine.

And then the rest. Mr. Bean? Mr. Bean was on it um my friend aj was in the final two to beat ryan gosling's role and he lost it to ryan gosling oh really yeah son of a bitch did he get other parts in his career he played young earnest and slam dunk earnest He did? That's great. It's in the title. You can play the title role. That's great. He's been on the show, A.J. Bond.

Yeah, I just if I was ever at a point that I played Ernest that's how I would show up to all my auditions. I'd be like, this is all I'm interested in doing. If you can write this character into the plot. Yeah, if I could be young max headroom and some kind of show i didn't realize that breaker high was a canadian thing i thought that was an american i may just not know about it that's impossible you would know i absorb everything

you absorb it repress it pretty much yeah what was your uh did you have like a crappy after-school show a la saved by the bell or something like that that you watched every day like you knew it was garbage but you still watched it that's a good question like the ones i'm thinking of are the ones i value like uh wishbone oh yes wishbone wishbone yeah i'm traveling dog jack russell terrier yeah reenacting like jane eyre reenacting the story of job yeah with such pathos why is god testing this dog um think of junkie ones there was something called zoom where it was one of those after-school shows where it was just some vacant warehouse it seemed yeah um some like pieces of

blocks covered in carpeting and they just put a lot of tweenagers in there to sing and dance whoa do you not know zoom gram no i think it was a pbs show this is all news to me um so what it was just singing and dancing kind of thing i don't know learning was there learning i remember there was a call to action in the theme song come on and zoom maybe it was a cult yeah do as we zoom um yeah the uh there was a canadian oh no maybe it was an american show there was one called square one and that was all american for sure that was do you remember that one no it was math it was about math yeah and uh i'd watch it just because it was sketch comedy about math yeah that's right there was there was this little guy that was Pac-Man-esque.

He was Math-Man. Yeah, he was Math-Man, that's right. Was every joke about boobless on the calculator? The first season was called that. There was MathNet, which was they were solving, it was DragNet, but they were solving math mysteries. Sometimes I'll see the guy from MathNet in a movie or something and I lose my mind. That's all I can focus on see the guy from mathnet in a in a movie or something and i lose my mind that's all he can focus on is the guy from mathnet um yeah it was it was a pbs

show and that was something i know weird song about patterns and uh kid and play did a song about guesstimating beautiful right kid and play they're a real anomaly they like were they hip-hop guys and then got into making movies or they were just invented for the movies what was there i don't know but they definitely had a look that made us want more i couldn't tell you any of their music no but the one guy had real fantastic hairdo. Yeah. And I've seen him without it. You know what?

You should go back to it. Was that the one that was stacked up? I can't, I don't have a mental image of a guy. Yeah. You had a stack up. Like a Marge Simpson. Yes. Yes.

They did the house party movies. Okay. Yeah. I don't know these. You don't know the house party? I repress it. I don't know like you don't know the house i don't know anything well these are a lot of these are maybe these are canadian memories the faintest of memories i mean i know people repress memories but you don't repress house party okay all right but you guys were you did you have to watch degrassi growing up was that like

it was mandated by the government but it was the bad old degrassi growing up? Was that like... It was mandated by the government. That's what I thought. But it was the bad old Degrassi. Okay. They would sometimes make us watch it in school, like in sex class. Sex class? That's it. I want to go to that class.

You're going right to the front of sex class. Yeah. All right, everybody. Put some condoms on bananas. Mom, Dad the front of sex class yeah alright everybody put some condoms on bananas mom dad I failed sex class that'd be the worst I have no son do you remember

when sex ed came up that there would always be a couple of kids whose parents wouldn't sign the form so they had to go sit outside and I don't know what they were doing out there but oh there were you ever have that yeah like there had to be a form signed by the parents that said it's okay for you

to knock on I don't think I did I would sign a form I don't think no I don't think they and when I was a kid I don't think my parents had to sign a form I do that for my sexual partners now, though. Please sign this. Yeah, sign this.

If not, go stand out in the hall. Wait until it's done. Promise me that you'll repress this. No, in Ohio, it was abstinence-only education. Oh, really? I have a distinct memory of there was one tactile lesson that sounds very leading. But what they gave all the girls were Easter eggs, like the plastic ones. Yeah.

That were opaque because they have colors, right? Right. And then the teacher had a transparent one. And she was like, if you have sex before marriage, your Easter egg will turn into an opaque egg. No one will be able to see the beautiful treat that's inside you or something that was the metaphor jesus but it took me it took me like 20 years to go like wait a second easter eggs are supposed to be opaque like that's the point right the prize yeah so she was like you want a clear easter egg yeah so your virtue is oh yeah obvious that's

weird that's probably the weirdest they really didn't want you to figure out sex at all no yeah not at all i remember there was a uh tv that tv show wife swap oh yeah where they would just like have the the moms go to live with each other's families and they would put like the opposite moms this mom sucks and this mom rules it's a pretty demeaning show when you think about it not only that the husband would be like this is fine i'm fine with little little friend was never fine with it the husband was like telling the kids like this will be over soon but though i remember some uh abstinence only style mom was like had these two daughters for the week and she was like uh she got a tube of toothpaste out and started and told them like okay squeeze the toothpaste onto this or into this bowl or whatever.

And now try to get the, now that you're done, try to get the toothpaste back into the tube. And the kids were like, oh, we can't. That's your virtue. If you're doing it right. Yeah. Yeah. You can't get it back in once you never get a second tooth. And they were like, what?

Do we have to use all this loose toothpaste now? Like, what's your point? Yeah, is it the bowl of toothpaste? Because I would love for someone to squeeze me like a tube of toothpaste. Like, that would just be a turn on lesson. Yeah, just start there. Till all the oxygen is out. Squeeze me till green stuff comes.

Yeah, Wife's Pop was diabolical. It was. Yeah. I feel like there was one, the one that I remember was somebody was from a real rustic house where they made their own clothes and cooked out of big cauldrons and stuff like that someone's from a big like uh gingerbread house in the woods and then yeah the other one was just like a normal household but to them it was so crazy and uh i really enjoyed that I really enjoyed The uh

You know people are different And if they live together It's gonna be uncomfortable That's the message From that show That sucks Oh I hate that I can't believe

It was on for so many seasons It was like a really Popular show Yeah Was there a spin off Did anyone become famous From that Does that not Like did we get like Duck Dynasty from that or anything

oh right no I don't think so there was never like a husband swap women are like no that's okay it would be like yeah we were supposed to swap husbands but yours never showed up he's just like somewhere else he's playing like somewhere else he's just at a strip club he's playing skeeball somewhere um yeah i uh that was like the early days right of reality shows yeah yeah

before cancel culture or people having opinions i guess because that show should have ended it before it started yeah that's true there was one that i watched it was called playing it straight and that was a show where a woman was uh kind of sequestered with a bunch of men some straight some gay and she had to figure out who was who it didn't even run the whole season yeah that's also called the theater department so yeah yeah exactly the alternate title for that show was none of my business but i remember that in the first episode two guys arm wrestled and one of the guys arm broke and that was in the very first episode and were they gay i don't know it was a tell um yeah it's uh it was well it was one of my favorites and then i'd only got

three episodes in before people were like how dare you reality tv is so bad but it's the only thing i watch now and i can't even really watch scripted stuff like what are your faves what do you got yeah please tell us your favorites oh i'm embarrassed that this is front of mine right now but i just binged all of selling sunset okay oh do you know this one no i know uh is it i think i know boy is that the one about the shaz of sunset no that's shaz uh what about is that is it it's million dollar listing different yeah but they're in the venn diagram there's a big overlap here do they have any is this a spin-off is it anyway tell me tell me about it's netflix's contribution to oh to reality tv to healing the world yeah they it's about like six interchangeable blonde women who are okay so hot

they're just um these kind of barbie doll characters who are selling luxury real estate in la and it's so mindless. Like it's, I feel every time I watch it, someone should come over and take away my library card. Like it's just. Yeah, you're, we're revoking your chance to learn if this is how you're going to spend your time. Yeah, it's really at the level of reality.

It feels like Teletubbies, but for basic bitches just to watch the show because nothing happens in it. Their whole job is to show up at a multi-million dollar property and go, yeah, so it has a sink and there's a pool. Do you want it? And then they make $500,000. She really sold me on that sink angle. Well, is it just like totally

you can just zone out did you just watch the new season just now yeah i did and when did it come out i i think a week ago okay so it wasn't like day up no no but i treated november 24th i just thought november 24th that came out okay you're good no I'm not good I'm broken you're great this is how I repress things yeah this is a theme this is a theme with you do you need to be unrepressed is that

what do you mean how can we help you yeah lean on us you guys are great no no no no no no I'll help myself no one can help me yeah Yeah, that's right. Job loves those who help themselves. Job. Yeah, that was the moral.

That's what we said at the end. I think that's what they should do at every play. At the end, they come out and take their bows and they were like, and the moral was. Yeah, they should. Abstinence works. Yeah. Keep your virtue virtue what is the uh wow abstinence only so they're like what so what is what is sex ed like if it's abstinence only it's uh do they it's like an afternoon it's a but what do you learn uh oh yeah i mean i remember a lot of sex ed videos that were very awkward and uncomfortable

but it was about boys to stop boys from peeping up girls skirts on the bus like that was part of it and then there was a traumatizing uh slideshow of uh real pictures of uh venereal diseases so oh jesus okay it was like a long extended episode of fear factor about sex and joe rogan came in and was like eat these worms yeah eat these crabs um we uh uh yeah i think our sex ed regular sex ed uh healthy sex ed was we did see we learned about all the venereal diseases what are the top top three oh for me yeah i gotta go with hepatitis a b and c oh nice right up the line not sure they're all sexually transmitted actually well can you get one from ice cubes yeah you can get it from ice cubes or ice cube there's the two ways to get it true um then uh and it was like it was it was like safe sex yeah yeah my teacher

and meanwhile always have someone outside the safe with a stethoscope on trying to crack it. But unless you don't want to be caught, then you got to hang a sock on the safe door. Combination thingy. What are your top three, Casey? STIs? Yeah, STIs. Is a fuckboy a genre of STI? I don't know. I don't know how sti i don't know i don't know how to i don't know i don't know how to answer that yeah well you did you you answered it pretty yeah it was a joke he had the best

answer though she's a serious person yes that's right um yeah i uh uh they i don't think they really talked about STIs. Usually called STDs. Right. But I don't know about that. Big STD energy. Yeah. The one thing I took away was that they were like, everyone already has herpes. So, you know what?

Live your life. Oh. Yeah. Well, that's HPV now. Yeah. Yeah. It was still. Well, HPV is warts, right?

It can be. Herpes is like... Sometimes it's a ghost. Sometimes it's a ghost. It is. But we... Yeah, it was the early 90s. So we were living in the shadow of Magic Johnson and Arsenio Hall talking about AIDS and HIV. Yeah, and there was also, uh, you could get that at the video store for free, I remember that.

An STI? Yeah. What? Blockbuster and gonorrhea. Yeah. blockbuster and gonorrhea yeah it was a video of of uh magic johnson and arsenio hall talking about aids yeah oh no i get it for free there was also the songs of the time were like uh we're about let's talk about let's talk about sex yeah they, yeah, yeah. And is there like a George Michael sex? I want your sex. I want your sex.

And then TLC. I want to sex you up. Yeah. TLC had one, didn't they? Um, I mean, sure. Well, I know you weren't supposed to chase waterfalls. I know that. Yeah, and that had three letters that led him to his final resting place.

That's right. Yeah. Presumably they were HIV. Yeah, that was the first album i ever owned dlc crazy sexy cool yeah yeah yeah yeah i bought it because my friend bought it and then i i listened to it i loved it but i never would have bought it if my friend hadn't he's like don't you love tlc and i was like yeah i love it the learning channel right yeah speaking of sex and the learning channel i i taped a show off of tlc the channel that was like it was like desmond something's the human animal

and it was all about like the physiological sexual responses and they were like oh they were showing people having sex with like a heat camera. Ooh. Like, and it's like, Hey, look, the woman's getting, she's blushing. And, um, there was a, uh, uh, there was definitely like a camera in the woman's vagina that showed. TLC? The man ejaculated. Yeah, TLC used to be a channel that was like educational. Yeah. This is like raw triple X TLC.

I didn't know. No, it was. TLC after dark. Yeah, but it wasn't horny. Okay. I was. But it was like very clinical. And it was like, oh, the woman, oh the woman's uh even the woman's knees together

resemble the breasts they create a cleavage and uh primordial man gets lizard brain signals to get a boner was this in french this is a french accent? Hold on. So wait, people are knee-fucking? Is that what they... No, just the suggestion of seeing two knees together will make you think of boobs and will make you horny. Story checks out. That's why, you know, a lot of people

at the beach now wear knee pads. I'm just wondering if there's a Quentin Tarantino of knees. Is there that director out there? Quentin Tarantino of knees, like, is there that director? Yes. Quentin Tarantino. I think the, the,

um, uh, that show probably like turned on a lot of people into like, oh, I didn't know that seeing people in heat vision was my kink, but here it is. And away I go for a weird rest of my life. See ya.

Bye. Um, yeah, I, uh, when did you move up here, Casey? Uh, and away I go for a weird rest of my life. See ya, bye. Yeah, when did you move up here, Casey? Over six years ago now, at the end of 2015. What brought you this way? I got into grad school, which I promptly dropped out of after a year. Tell me what grad school is,

because a lot of times I hear it and I pretend that I know what it means. I'm sure we talked about this last time you were on the show, but I also don't remember anything. Well, I don't either, so we're the same team. I've repressed every memory except for that one TLC show about knee boobs. I'm going to buy a bra for my knees. Okay, so, yeah, I came for... Is it for your niece? No, it's for my knees my knees uh grad school well it was for

writing so it's not really grad school i don't know what to describe it as you get together in a room and all your peers have opinions about your writing and you're like i could do this on twitter save a couple bucks yeah maybe um but that's essentially it was an mfa program i don't know what real grad school is i think that grad school you have to read a lot and then remember what you read which is a hurdle for me oh can i just watch the movie that would be my ongoing right like french you know yeah yeah um no i was only Did a little bit of university And then When I was in university

The professors had TAs Teaching assistants Yeah I was one of those Were they grad school students Yeah I was one of those For a term

So you had to read Kids paper Like you did all the work Yeah Yeah you got it Nice Trickle down education I don't know. Like, I feel, I took political science, and I feel like I knew, I figured out that it doesn't matter what I write in my essays.

The TAs are reading them. Yeah. And they're not really reading them. And so I just started giving them, like, funny titles. That's great. We love it. We love to see it. And I did pretty really reading them. And so I just started giving them like funny titles. That's great. We love it. We love to see it. And I did pretty well after that.

Yeah. Funny titles. I love it. The charm offense. Well, Graham, you were in university for a bit. You dropped out? No, I didn't drop out. I just, I did, I got my education in journalism and then I went to film school.

I didn't know that. Oh, that's great. I didn't either. Yeah. I don't use that. Oh, that's great. I didn't either. Yeah, I don't use it for anything. You don't use any, what? Do you make videos? No, not really. Do you make TikToks?

Get into TikTok. I've got a TikTok account, but I can't. I know. I can't crack it. There's a guy I only learned about yesterday named Mr. Beast. He's a YouTuber. He has like some of his videos have like 60 billion views.

And he's just a guy who's like kind of a silly guy. Yeah. And he like got buried alive for a thing and his friends were being silly the whole time. Yeah. It's just like, but, you know, he knew how to put together a video. And now I assume he's one of the richest Americans alive. I like finding out what songs are very popular on TikTok. Because it's always something weird.

Yeah. What was popular last week was a song that goes, Helicopter, helicopter. Helicopter, helicopter. That's why we can't crack the code you can't predict that no you cannot yeah I just man Gen Z they're coming up with

stuff faster than I know how to process we gotta get rid of them we need a call let's let's world war 2 this no three yeah civil war between generations i can get into that oh that would brother versus brother as long as the brothers are like a few years apart that'd be a fun paintball system you know it's all generations uh but maybe the older generations get a bigger faster gun or something like that to compensate

they already have anyways you know what i mean yeah yeah that's true it's all yeah it's all around us um helicopter helicopter dave do you tick tock at all i mean you know you're on the beat no i i'm on instagram and i follow some people who post a bunch of things they like on tiktok yeah instagram um boy i i call it insta oh wow oh yeah that's cool because i'm 22 and boy am i shredded it's full of cheese yeah boy i'm like oh yeah do you enjoy your relationship to instagram because i just joined really the summer and it's been uh-huh enjoy you know what yeah okay i like this i like that i'm like that i'm lining uh mark zuckerberg's pockets yeah yeah yeah uh i i mostly am a consumer i i

i used to post pictures all the time now i I just, you know, I just want to watch someone make a beautiful like tuna on toast with avocado in eight seconds. Yeah. And then think I'll, you know, click on the link that will teach me how to do it, but never do it. Beautiful. But you know what? I got do it, but never do it. Beautiful. But you know what? I got to keep that bookmarked forever. Yeah. Is that why it fills up your For You page or whatever it's called?

Like, do you just have tuna on toast? The big things I get are guitar people, people playing guitar. And I get food and clothes. And let's check out my For You page right now, guys. You've got all the essentials there. Yeah. Like, you have a wide variety of essential things. I mean, not guitar, but food, clothes.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's, boy, it is, boy, jazz lessons lessons I will never play jazz on guitar yes pleated pants are really back and they're more stylish than ever yep that's right I'll never wear pleated pants also yeah and uh

pleated pants are back holy cow and then just a meme about Shrek 2 and it says Shrek 2. And it says, Shrek 2 is about rejecting yassification. And the response is, none of these words are in the Bible. The number two is. Every step of that is more confusing than the last.

Yeah, right? So, you know, I don't need TikTok to confuse me yeah what do you get casey well i never feel more seen than i do by my instagram like preload page but all i have is dessert porn like cutting into a nice sloppy cake where the insides are gonna lose out it's very satisfying and then just golden retriever content that's yeah oh this is boost my dopamine dopamine yeah yeah i do get a lot of dogs too i don't see them in my for you normally it's a uh boy staffordshire terrier it is a specific dog yeah i follow a few staffordshire terrier instagrams they've got They're like tiny pitbulls. Mr. Worldwide.

Did you watch the Best in Show? They just had the national dog. Oh, yeah. No, I didn't. What is it called? The Westminster? I don't know. It was fascinating.

I've watched them before. And there's like a guy telling you about the breed there's like 10 breeds that are some translate some Asian translation of lion dog like every Asian country has their own dog that they've named lion dog yeah lots of Tibetan dogs lots of dogs from Tibet I just I was really happy I don't know I didn't know about the different breeds like how they were categorized into like working sporting etc and it really made me want to know what my breed is so I would know what to do yeah what do you think what do you think your breed is what or your category um well tall but what else um non-sporting non-sporting yeah netflixing i think non-sporting is the my because there's hounds there's sporting or hounds might be sporting but then there's non-sporting is just whatever's left yeah sporting though what is that sporting is like hunting oh okay they like you know a dog that i think a sporting dog is a dog that like you know a retriever after you shoot the

duck it goes again yeah like it's not like a cool dog that can surf or whatever ride a skateboard or no it's not it's it might air bud technically might be a sporting dog because it's a golden receiver that applause um yeah that was good um yeah i uh are you a dog wanter yeah big time but i can't even fit into my apartment so i'm not gonna bring another they make they now make dogs that are less than six feet tall they do yeah that's right they're not all they're all not a death sentence no i want i want eye level or nothing. That's what I want. I want a horse, I think.

Yeah, I think that's what you want. What kind of breed would you be, Dave? Boy. Think about this. Don't rush it. What kind of breed is mad all the time? Hulk. Hulk breed. Shrek. That's his secret. Yeah, I'm guessing like a Shrek.

Okay. Like an Eastern Shrek. What's the one that's like you can never read its mood by its face? Oh, like a pug? Yeah a pug yeah maybe yeah that makes sense or a bulldog bulldog always looks angry even when super jazzed you know yeah oh those bulldogs are so cute do you have a breed what do you think you are the most whatever was the most rascally

which is like a rascal you know yeah good good video content from my dog you guys you guys get a lot of good content out of your monster yeah monster's great yeah monster's kicking it up the charts he's a good dog yeah he's a good dog still a little guy really little guy yeah he's like eight months now maybe and he's uh boy we still don't crack the code on He's like eight months now, maybe. And he's, boy, we still haven't cracked the code on not being in the house. Oh, no. Well, we sort of have.

But he can't be unsupervised. If we're around, he won't be. But we leave him alone. It just becomes like, this is the. We got to keep him in his kennel when no one's around. Aw, that's too bad. He doesn't mind it. He has to learn sometime i had to so if he you know yeah and like to be fair it took me more than eight months yeah that's true took

me years yeah yeah we expect a lot from dogs like i still am not great it doesn't really sneak up on you i mean it's boy the yeah sometimes i'm in a hurry and then it's like this i don't have time to aim just have a pee pad by the bed yeah yeah that's not a bad idea actually pee pads for adults or something anyway yeah sure um dave what's going on with you man man oh this was actually a pretty busy week but what i want to talk about the most is the beatles documentary oh which is the first time they've made a documentary about the beat this is the first time yeah and they were unable to finish it um no it is uh the new one is the peter jackson one on disney plus about uh let it be and i i love the beatles i love uh i love beatles documentaries this is i don't know the fifth one i've watched yeah And I love the Beatles. I love Beatles documentaries.

This is, I don't know, the fifth one I've watched? Yeah, yeah. But this is so far right up your alley. Yeah, this is the kind of thing, it's eight hours long. It's three episodes that are eight hours long. But it's easy to stop it because there's like a calendar. Three episodes that are eight hours long. No, no, no.

Three episodes that are like two and a half hours each. Oh, okay. That add up are eight hours long. No, no, no. Three episodes that are like two and a half hours each. Oh, okay. That add up to eight hours long. That update. Okay. And it... There's like a calendar. Like they're documenting the making of Let It Be.

And it's just stopping, you know, day by day. So, you know, if you're like, I'm not going to make it through this episode. Oh, they're ending the day. I'll stop watching now. Right. And it's. Do you guys like the Beatles?

I go for it, Graham. No, you. I'm not sure if I do or not. I think I've said this before because it was something that's like was foisted upon me so i didn't i don't know that i would have developed a like for them or not i have no idea of knowing because that was like it was you just had to listen to them you know sure casey uh well i remember other people being very definitive about being pro beetle or anti-beetle i didn't know i had one album that i did listen to a lot with golden slumbers on it yeah that's that's which one is that that would be abby road okay okay that one's pretty good i would say yeah that one's great so i love the beetles love them

except for like 60 of the music like i don't like anything before like 1966 i don't really like because it's all they had like they liked all this boogie woogie american rhythm and blues that they keep descending into uh that i don't particularly care for and then there's a lot of like simple stuff early on that i don't care about and then um uh yeah and then they get very good isn't that a good batting average though like 40 oh yeah well especially if like like i don't listen to anything from before like Rubber Soul. Oh, okay. Way down the line there. And so it's, but yeah, like, and then even in the latter half, there's still a few boogie woogie ones. There's a few like, Paul does like very sappy songs that I don't care about. Anytime they get a sitar out, I'm not interested.

Anytime Ringo's it's his batting average is very low oh no um yeah i uh um i don't know what albums or what songs i like i'm very confused by the whole thing but uh can you tell who's singing yeah Yeah, I think so. That's a good question. Well, now I'm questioning whether I do or not. It's weird that they're such a favorite of so many households, but that it's very clear that they were doing lots of drugs, and everybody's kind of like, this is drugs, this is good. This is the output of drugs.

It was excellent. But you it was excellent but you know you never told that when you're young that like these guys their reason their music went so crazy was because they they all were experimenting with drugs they seem to have a cleaner brand to me like my because it's always beatles versus the stones and for some reason like the stones get like the sexy oh they're doing all the rock and roll that's yeah yeah that's right like beetles are family friendly yeah the stones just want to like fuck yeah they want to fuck exactly the beetles actually they were an abstinence only rock yeah they wanted to hold your hand and that's it yeah yeah get somebody to touch your weeder

you put the toothpaste back in the tube anyway this documentary it's eight hours long i'm halfway through it they are they have to like they're given um they're given like they're planning let it be which is like this it's going to be a tv special and an album they've but they show up on january 1st with no songs written and they have to just like come up oh you need 12 songs in two weeks and so they're like sometimes it's just like magic. And like Paul McCartney writes, get back in two minutes. Oh, really?

While waiting for John to show up. Although like then half of an episode is about him trying to come up with the names of the fictional characters in the song. It's like, sweet Loretta Johnson. No, sweet Loretta Marsh. No, sweet Loretta. And just like going through the phone book of names like no it's got a sound right and then they're so mean to george george comes it's like i wrote a song last night and uh like we can't wait to hear the jack off motion yeah and he like plays it for them and uh they're like uh john says that's not really the kind of music we do as if he's not part of the group yeah and then meanwhile

like they play maxwell's silver hammer and they're like, hey, let's get a hammer. The sound of a hammer hitting an anvil in the song. And they're like, this is great. And it's like child's music. It's like what you would play in preschool for like a bunch of babies. What is Ringo doing? What is Ringo like? Because I know nothing.

Ringo is cool. Does he know he's Ringo? He knows he's Ringo doing? What is Ringo like? Cause I know nothing. Ringo is cool. He, does he know he's Ringo? He knows he's Ringo. He's, he lets, uh, everyone kind of fight around him.

Right. And he's just there. I'm going to keep time. Yeah. He shows up. And then sometimes Paul's like, uh, or John is like,

you should play it like this. And he's like, okay. I mean, I thought I was, but fine. Yep. Yeah this. And he's like, okay. I mean, I thought I was, but fine. Yep. Yeah.

It's very, it's the kind of thing that I feel like if I was, because when I was like 21, I would just put on a DVD and fall asleep to a DVD every night. This is perfect for that. I wish this was a thing that I could have just like, I think I'll watch disc three tonight and fall asleep in 10 minutes. Yeah. Well, you can stream it anytime, don't you? Yeah, but I don't now I sleep with a person in my bed.

Yeah. There's got to be a way around this. There's got to be some sort of hack. Maybe a wife swap? With a beetle. We're a rolling stone house and they're a beetle's house. Let's see if they can get along. Yoko's going to

tell my kids about toothpaste? Dave, do you have a favorite biopic out of the Beatles collection? The fictional ones where people are pretending to be pretending to be the beatles yeah boy what is there other than backbeat i i don't know if that's the title we saw one on tv it just popped up it had steven dorf in it from the early backbeat oh it is okay yeah yeah yeah i thought there was another one i guess there's yesterday that one about what if the beatles

never existed and i right with ed sheeran yes was ed sheeran in that yes he was because he yeah i think it was a it was i never saw that because i didn't take any flights when it was showing on airplane direct to flight release um backbeats good yeah it was yeah it was I mean it was super 90s early 90s performing yeah what what's the you being the drama club president what is the early 90s school of performance uh oh my god a lot of face like you just you just hang out on the face a lot yeah just kind of sad eyes that kind of thing a lot of emoting yeah and then i think chewing the scenery was a little more permissible still like now everything's a little more you know you're just whispering mumbling i'm alive but um right then you could still be a little more oscar baity i think there was one part in in backbeat where the guy playing john

it takes place in hamburg where the beatles are playing like they're like a have a residency as a young band and they're just playing hours and hours every night and the band is like forming you know deciding what it is and uh there's one part where john goes you call that a good time that's like yeah i don't call that a good time i call that a hard day's night he lists off like five things like that it's not a good time it's it's something and something it's something it's something it's one of the things he lists off like five things like that it's not a good time it's it's something and something it's something it's something it's one of the things he lists off is it's dying for a piss it's a hard day's night the heavy-handedness yeah plays real nice um speaking of like chewing the scenery dialogue i watched this movie called concussion we talked about that last week

will smith is trying so hard yeah i wanted the oscar so much to get an oscar tell the truth tell the truth but yeah with this accent yeah yeah that's right that's mostly the movie it shows a couple clips of football but it's all in meeting rooms and over telephone that's the whole it's like sully sully is like one minute of a plane crash and the rest of like sully talking about quite a plane crash yeah i'm uh starting my own uh security company and a consulting firm that's a bad movie to watch on the plane oh so i'm just watching that next to me the denzel washington one oh upside down yeah and he's drunk yeah as if a drunk person could do something that cool they wouldn't be able to figure out all the the necessary things to fly upside down that's that's a sober that's a person on coke coke needs to be that creative um yeah uh so what what is your favorite song of that

that you've been like watching what what's the the most interesting story also like well they're coming up with things like out of thin air and then but also when they're stuck they just go back to that stupid boogie woogie r&b stuff i hate so much like even late in their career they can't shake it even in their solo careers in the 70s it's like we get it you love rollover beethoven just just you know right strawberry fields um so uh yeah that's uh i don't know it's fun it's fun i uh but also if you like checking out uh you know the birth of a musical masterpiece you could just listen to the hit podcast our debut album that's right yeah if you want to hear how something really forms, we didn't have our Ringo. That was our.

Wait, what is this about? It was Graham and I did another podcast a few years ago where we wrote songs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Graham, I'm about to ask you what's going on with you, but I don't want us to forget to mention the thing that we wanted to mention. a thing that we wanted to mention. Now, you know, hawk-eared listeners will wait for the hour point of a podcast for

the big announcement. Last year, on the episode of our podcast Between Christmas and New Year's, we did a call-in show. That's right. Where we got a bunch of people to call in. Listeners of people to call in. Listeners

were able to call in, talk to us, either do a Q&A, ask us a question, or show off your talent. Ooh. Yeah, and we're very excited to do this again this year. Yeah, we're going to do this again this year. It is going to happen on

noon Pacific on Tuesday. again this year. It is going to happen on noon Pacific on Tuesday. On Tuesday, December 14th. That's your day. Get your phone wax out and get your most comfortable chair because it's going to be a killer.

We decided we're going to do it earlier in the day so if people in foreign time zones want to call in as well, who don't normally get a chance, didn't get a chance last year because we did it at night, our time. Yeah. So,

yes. So if you would like to call into our show, what we're doing is you email us at spy at maximum fun dot org just say that you want to do it I don't know what is their code word no just say you want to do it say that if you're available at that time it'll be like a two hour window between noon and two pacific

and it's going gonna be so fun oh we don't need to tell them that they know but just in case they were worried that something fell through the cracks and it's not gonna be fun it's gonna be fun it's fun listen to episode 667 last year what's more fun than that yeah so write us tell us uh you'll be entering in a draw. We'll kind of randomly pick, uh, people. So, you know, we, we can't talk to everyone, but we'll, uh, get to, uh, you know, last year, I think we did 15 people that felt good. Yeah. And you know what, if we don't get to you, we still value you as a special and unique.

Don't tell them we value them. Um, so yeah, check that out. Yeah. So, so email us spy spy maximum fun.org if you want to be part of our call-in show on december 14th at noon pacific i'm listening graham what's going on with you um not much i can say that for sure i can it was it took me a long time to figure out what i could talk about this week because nothing's been going on but uh i okay so here's something i do pretty much every other time i'm on a plane is i i leave my water bottle behind and i don't uh i don't want to go through the process of getting back on the plane to get a water bottle because that seems like a

stupid stupid thing to do you know because they're like trying to on the plane to get a water bottle because that seems like a stupid thing to do. Because they're like trying to clean the plane and all that kind of stuff. So I had a water bottle that I loved. It was just a real knockoff of those fancy, what are they called? The like... Oh yeah, the swell?

The swell, yes. It was a ripoff of the swell that I got at Canadian Tire. it didn't work particularly well the little rubber thing kept falling off and uh so when i left it i was like oh maybe i'll just go go back to canadian tire get another one nope they don't exist there anymore it's as if they never existed at all um so then this is when i was in calgary visiting my folks we went on a crazy mission to find the right water bottle we went to some like camping store and they were they i'd never seen water bottles before you know what i mean like i've never seen

them for what they are until you see like 10 different types of water bottles you're like oh yeah i guess this is like you gotta pick one that's right for you you know yeah like there's like plastic ones and ones that are kind of like a sippy cup and then there's ones where you have to turn it's like a jar and you gotta take the thing off graham i don't i hate to be this guy but does this story end with you forgetting your new water bottle on the plane? No. Okay. But so I got it. Tell me about it. Well, I bought the new one I bought.

Yeah. Was one of those swell bottles. Oh. So I had to throw down big money on, because the thing I had was an imitation one. So I was like, maybe I'll like the real one. And you know what? It was great while it lasted. Yeah. 40 bucks. 40 bucks for a wattle bottle bar yeah yeah doesn't even come with water in it you have to add your own water but uh yeah so i had it i had it for let's say a week and a half and i

had never taken it outside it was it was apartment only. And then I was like, time to break this out in the world. I'm going to go over to friend's house and bring my water bottle. As soon as I got out of the car, the thing fell out of the backpack, rolled under the car, and I had to retrieve it

by lying down on the sidewalk to get it. And now it doesn't sit properly. It just falls over when you put it down so 40 bucks down the fucking drain well it still contains water that's true it does contain water can you hammer out the bottom get your i was literally thinking of how would i hammer this out but then i just had a flash of me ruining it even more but you don't think that i can go i can't go to swell and be like come on what the hell this is just some people you could you could i want you to become one of those people for this yeah you

could do that be like hey what the hell swell yeah yeah yeah okay so like what i write an email or something i guess so yeah okay i think it's angry and passive aggressive so no you mean kind be kind yeah well if you want something yeah i want to walk that line i want to be like firm but fair because if you're if you're kind you can always be angry and passive aggressive later oh that's that's true i tried being kind with you people yeah um yeah okay maybe i'll try i'll see if i i can uh wrestle a new water bottle of these what um here's what i got this is a sig oh yeah that one's nice that's uh yeah it's a bit big though like it doesn't fit any cup holders it's like it has to be my at my desk one do you wear like a necklace with a pull tab top do i what yes i keep it on a i keep a uh giant yes lanyard i'm constantly constantly being

weighed down by carabiners two liters no a liter and a half maybe oh that's huge oh yeah it is really big i thought it was just the camera but yeah that's four pounds oh shit casey what's your go-to water bottle oh man i long story short i started taking dance classes let's not talk about it but i left mine let's make this short story long god i um i left it at the dance studio and i'm i'm i it means I have to take another dance class to get it back. That's how they get you. I really love it, too. My landlady gave it to me as a birthday present, and it's great.

It's the perfect size. Good color. I've dropped it a lot. You've got to go back. What type of dance? Tell me what type of dance. You don't have to go into detail. What type of dance are me what type of dance you don't have to go into detail what type of dance okay um well this all started with taking youtube dance lessons in the privacy

of my own home and i was like this brings me joy i'll take this to the streets just leaving skid marks on your ceiling you know it um yeah so there's a nice uh dance company here in vancouver where you can go it says all levels um i think that's up for debate but you go in and i've taken lyrical i've taken contemporary jazz graham graham what do you think lyrical dance where you where you sing along with the music yeah i think so too you do but silently with your body and yes very deep and then i took one okay i repressed this until now oh man the repressing machine has gone out of order i took one called in all capital letters fem fem f-e-m-m-e yeah and um it's where you wear high heels and then a gay man shows you how to

move like beyonce around the room wow yeah we should all be so lucky you can never move like beyonce just no admit it okay i i give it up she still has time i'm found out no i i wanted nothing of it like i i went because it was the right date and time and i went in and i did not bring heels because i don't own those i can't and yeah yeah you'll go you'll be saying hi to your upstairs neighbor you got it thanks for the water bottle being this tall it makes movement hard because it just makes every error that much larger. So it's just a lot of me trying to hump the air and it wasn't working. The air was resisting. Yeah.

I mean, I picture I look like a building in an earthquake just trying to stay up. That's what it looked like. Standing in a doorway yeah during the sexy sexy dance class that was supposed to be empowering that was the the pitch it was like empower yourself by learning learning how to move you know like that's how they get you yeah yeah that's true truly how do you think you will empower yourself truly by getting that water bottle back i think hell yeah yeah that's the holy you willing to go all the way back there to get that water bottle

yeah yeah because i still have uh three days left on my pass nice oh yeah and i still have like 800 milliliters in there yeah that's the only one do you what's the longest you'll drink like if you leave water in a water bottle how long is it good for oh days I would say

oh does water go bad well I mean like if you like I used to when I went to the office every day I would pour water

in my water bottle and you know if it was still there from the day before i would drink it but if i left it over a weekend i wouldn't drink it on monday i'd pour it out and get new water yeah i mean yeah because it does start tasting like whatever the container it is yeah yeah so let that be a lesson to all you out there to clean your water bottle every day because if you don't

also the inside of a water bottle it day. Because if you don't... Also, the inside of a water bottle, it doesn't get any daylight. There could be algae growing in there. Yeah, that's true. Things that can survive at the bottom of the sea. Those little guys that live on the volcanoes or whatever. Yeah, those luminescent weird, like...

Crazy fish with the big teeth, I think. Yeah. Blobfish. Okay. Do you know that the blobfish only looks like that because it's pressurized wrong? What? Because it doesn't look like that. It's actually very handsome. Normally he's super handsome.

Gets all sorts of other fish. And then you bring him up to our atmosphere and he just turns into a blob. Which is, you know what? A lesson that you can be turned into a swan or a blob. Depends on where you're coming from. I think that. Oh, yeah. Google it.

Yeah. I think the blobfish looks so much like Joe Rogan. And I posted that recently and I thought it would go viral. But no. But at least, you know, at least you did it on Twitter for free. And I did not as part of an mfa that's true it was an open to critique from my peers is a blobfish should we move on to a little bit of business yes it's time for a jumbotron how do you feel about that dave i am so excited i just can't hide if

if you've never heard the show before jumbotron is a way to send a message to somebody you love or hate um or you know just like you're on like terms and uh we've got one today hot off the press uh dave do you want to do you want to do it yeah this is one uh this is uh from kelly attaway kelly attaway who says subscribe to the 13th depository a wheel of time podcast in itunes or wherever you can find it and it goes on to say are you watching the wheel of time have you read the books graham are you watching the wheel of time yeah i read the books and then i watch the show and see if it matches the vision in my head yeah it's the one with pat say jack yeah that's right and his uh sidekick vanna Vanna Vanna White three Vanna

okay do you want to talk about the merits of tasteful butts in television I mean I'd love to see Sajax check out

the 13th Depository Podcast Kelly Attaway and Cabe Waldrop come on get together each week to discuss the latest episode how it compares to the source material and which characters are crush worthy find us on twitter at 13th depot pod

that's 13th with a one three depot with just uh, no T, and pod, just like God intended, and wherever you get your podcasts. Yeah, that sounds great. Do you know the 13th, or no, do you know the, whatever that thing is called? What was it called? The Wheel of Time? No, I don't know. I don't know anything.

I think it's on amazon prime oh yeah and it yeah it the the imagery looks very game of thronesy well it worked for game of thrones you know what i mean yeah it's like when the pacific blue based itself on baywatch it's like hey you know what it's popular format good background um anyway so if you out there want that check that out if you want to do a jumbo gotta go to maximumfun.org

slash jumbotron um should we get back into some overheards yeah yeah well Manolo we have a show

to promote it's called Dr. Game Show it's a family friendly podcast where listeners submit games and we play them with callers from around the world. Oh, sounds good. New episodes happen every other Wednesday on MaximumFun.org.

It's a fast and loose oasis of absurd innocence and naivete. Are you writing a poem? No, I and just saying things from my memory and it's a nice break from reality is that are we allowed to say that? I don't know it sounds bad it comes with a 100%

happiness guarantee it does not come for the games and stay for the chaos. Overheard. Overheard's a segment where out there in the great blue yonder there's people always yakking it up and if you want to, if you hear something good, bring it to us.

Drop us a line here at Stop Podcasting Yourself. We always love to hear what you've heard and we always like to start with the guest casey would you please oh my goodness so i've been collecting them forever but i'll let you guys choose um one from the funny one okay not the sad one okay one was a crime do you want that one or uh you can you want that one? You can do multiple. Yeah, you can do multiple. I'll start with this one. It was the receptionist at my doctor's office.

So, this is towards the end of their conversation about their lives. The first woman says, I hope I go to heaven. And the other woman says, you will. First woman, my husband said I'm going to hell. The second woman, he said that? The First woman, my husband said I'm going to hell. Second woman, he said that?

The first woman, I said if I'm going to hell, I'm dragging you with me. Yes. Drag him. Yeah, it was in the vows. Till death do us part and then even then. And then you come with me because I'm evil. I don't want to talk about hell at the doctor. No, that's true.

And you don't want your doctor to have strong opinions on hell. Yeah, it's like, well. They got this pizza cutter saw down there. They were so happy. They were cackling. They were just so happy in this conversation about their husband. That's nice. Yeah. That's nice yeah it was uplifting um do you have another one or do you want us to go around and you guys go you guys go yeah i just uh i'll go but first i took off my sock and i'm looking at my toe

it looks a lot better uh did you tape it to the other toe no she said i should do that if i'm like uh she said ice it and then if you like that's that's I'm... She said ice it, and then if you... That's what she would suggest, taping it to the other toe. It still hurts quite a bit, but if I ever had to do any kind of activity, I would tape it to the other toe. Is it still purple? It's less purple. I'm glad I went when I did because it was really bad when I went.

Yeah. Well, that's what the doctor said. If they said, oh, can you come back next week? I'd be like, oh, it's probably not going to be that purple next week. I'll just look stupid. Yeah. You could paint it purple just to save face. Anyway, my overheard is this.

I have a few, actually. Man, mine barely counts. Mine sucks. Well, I'm just gonna say the one that's from the beatles documentary nice because you know uh we were already talking about it uh it's so they're the whole time they're doing it they're they're set up in this studio well at first they're set up in this like studio where they're going to shoot a TV special and they're deciding what the TV special is going to be.

And eventually, whatever the live performance is, they did this famous rooftop performance. Oh, yeah. Was that the last thing they did together? That's the way I remember it in my head. I don't know because I'm not at the end of remember my head. It's, uh, I don't know. Cause I'm not at the end of this yet.

I get very confused about the last few years of the Beatles because they did, they did all this stuff for let it be. Then they recorded Abbey road and released Abbey road. And then they released, let it be after they broke up. Right. I don't know, but they must've,

they might, it must be be the end of this documentary because they're in January of 1969 and that was definitely a cold weather documentary yeah yeah yeah or a cold weather performance that they did so they but they're like deciding

what they're going to do for whatever this TV special is going to be and the uh the main idea that the like director the director is this guy who's like 30 this weird dude he's like 30 but he's puffing on huge cigars the whole time and he is talking about how he wants to do it in Libya. And he wants to do it on the Mediterranean at this ancient amphitheater with 2,000 Arabs in the crowd. And, like, at night with a bunch of boats on the water, like, lights on the water.

And they're like, we're not leaving the country. We don't want to leave the country. Ringo doesn't want to leave the country. So they're like, it's, like, the nicest thing in the whole documentary so far is that everyone is kind of just, like, doing what Ringo doesn't want to leave the country. So they're like, it's like the nicest thing in the whole documentary so far is that everyone is kind of just like doing what Ringo wants. Yeah. Yeah. Ringo says no.

So no, it's like with kids, you're like now play Ringo's game. Exactly. Yeah. Uh, that's very, except John is like,

I'd love to go to Libya. That sounds amazing. John sucks. John's the mean one. John is like, I'd love to go to Libya. That sounds amazing. John sucks. John's the mean one. John is the mean one. Yoko's there the whole time. And it's like, like John just has this weird relationship with Yoko where he wants to spend every second with her. Oh, wow.

And that's, but just her presence. It's weird having an extra person there oh right in the recording studio yeah it just like she has to sit in the chair next to him at all times third wheel energy fifth beetle energy but not in a good way yeah george is, we should get Billy Preston here. And Phil McCartney is like, yeah, yeah, whatever. They totally just ignored George. Yeah. George will talk for two minutes and then Paul will just be like, huh. Sucks.

They're so mean to each other. Anyway, this weird director guy, he's like, well, okay, you do, you guys don't want to do Libya. Well, maybe we should do something like subversive. Maybe we should do, uh, a, um, maybe we should record this all. Like we should break into the house of parliament and you're like recording in, you're like doing a show in parliament and you have to be dragged out by the police. And they're like, uh, well, how about this idea? The director says, well, and how about instead of something subversive, you do something sweet.

How about you do it in like a hospital, a children's hospital. But, uh, he says, you know, I don't mean for really sick kids just kids with like broken legs just the bone unit yeah like we don't i don't want to be a bummer yeah yeah and you know it's a better idea than your libyan night ghost thousands of arabs yeah i mean yeah in an old amphitheater like how would you even get electricity there you know what i mean if it's like old ancient amphitheater i don't know they were all back then they loved mobile recording units yeah yeah yeah um anyway so uh check it out that guy's weird this whole thing is weird if you check out anything in the next couple weeks make it the beatles documentary yeah if you have eight hours i don't

have eight hours no but you'll make it you'll make it work 20 minutes here and there i'm making time for these for the lads just watch it while you sleep just Just absorb it. That's the secret. Yeah. Oh boy. If only you could study that way. Yeah. We'd all be geniuses. But we're not. And this overhurt will show you how. My overheard is a delivery guy, Amazon prime delivery guy talking to somebody that came down to grab their package.

I mean, the guy's crotch when I say package. Okay. Yeah. And it was, you know, we've had a lot of rain here. We've had a lot of problem rain and lots of flooding and mudslides. Yeah, it sucks. The world is dying. Yeah.

The world is fine. The world is fine. It's trying to, yeah, it's trying to kill us. And we deserve it. Yeah, it sucks. The world is dying. Yeah. The world is fine. The world is fine. It's trying to, yeah, it's trying to kill us. And we deserve it. Yeah, exactly. We had this coming. Look, we had our fun, okay? We had the Beatles.

We had giant cars. You know what? We had the Industrial Revolution. I loved it. Yeah, exactly. Couldn't get enough of it. Signing off. And then, you know, so they're making, you know, small chat about the weather.

That's the only thing that everybody can talk about. And so that was basically it. The woman said, yeah, it's been really hard. And the guy said, yeah, sometimes it rains. But yeah, he's right. That is one thing I've enjoyed about the weather is the small talk. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, you know.

Pretty easy to make small talk. Yeah. It's becoming big talk though. That's the hard part. That's true. No, no, no, no. It's not like, ooh. Small talk about the flood.

Here's my worst small talk I had this week. I was at Safeway checking out, and the woman, the cashier said, hey, I really like your coat. It reminds me of my dad's coat. I have this coat that's like plaid, and she says, yeah's like my dad's coat he used to wear it when he would go out to the chicken coop we we called it the chicken coat and i said uh yeah it's uh it's warm it's easy to put on it's a coat david they're all easy to put on what do you want from me woman don't tell me i'm wearing your dad's chicken coat nowhere else to go dave and the chicken chicken coat um the kid's book um did you have another

one yeah if you have another if you want to hear about the crime that i don't want to hear about the crime this is uh people love true crime podcasts so they're gonna love this minute this will be a micro dose of crime for you um here we go so early in the pandemic i was at shoppers getting i don't know what but at the self-service robots to check out um i was there doing my thing and then another customer came up and he just had cash in his hand and he waved it at me and he's like will this take the cash and i said no they're robots so he went off to find a human um i finished my transaction and then i was leaving the store and then he came from behind me and like did like a figure skaters twirl in front of me with i think he had rope at us and

it was like no one's here to take my I think he had rope at us. And it was like, no one's here to take my money. And he just walked out the door with it. Wow. Good. Yeah. Good. You know,

he tried to get for trying to pay. Yeah. Yeah. And he needed that Tussin. So yeah. Yeah. And who's watching him? Like,

are they, is anyone on security cameras do they have a robot watching that or now this was really early in the pandemic last time i was at the shoppers now they have three security people in the front so he was a thought leader i think yeah yeah he's a yeah yeah making he's creating jobs he is by stealing that's right that's right people don't know about the upside of stealing well first of all you don't have to pay for anything that's pretty big upside yeah it made me feel like such a dummy because i was like well i fed the robot money but i didn't yeah there was a loophole the robot non-existent numbers from a plastic yeah piece of plastic in my wallet yeah

and it's like uh i think people thought like yeah we'll have these robot things everybody will obey the rules and uh this will be fine this will they won't take free bags because if they have like at mcdonald's if they had like robot people making the burgers people would just go back for a lot of people half robot half people yeah like cyborgs we developed that technology and that's all we do with it we just have them cook yeah and flip a burger

without a spatula they can use their robot their hands but then they have to wipe their hands on their robot pants between I don't want to get any

chicken on the beef but people just go nuts if there's machines back there on their robot pants. I don't want to get any chicken on the beef. But people just go nuts if there's machines back there making a burger. People just jump over the counter and steal as many burgers as they can. You don't think they can program the machines to fight off the people? That was my first thought. That's a massacre.

Yeah, I guess so. The Burger King Massacre. The Great Burger King Massacre. yeah i guess so the burger king massacre the great burger now we have overheard sent in to us from people all over the map if you want to send one in send it to spy at maximum fun dot org his first one comes from jack f in Houston, Texas. Which sounds like something else. I love it. They don't teach that in abstinence only. Oh, maybe they do.

A gentleman. You Jack an F in there? Oh, now they realize we have a radio station here called Jack FM. And I've been doing this thing the whole time. A gentleman across the seat from me was talking on video chat, and I got a few real gems. So this is all the guy's side of the conversation.

Raina doesn't have a life. She don't do nothing anymore. Canada always has the downside. No, Canada always has the downside. No, seriously, Canada always has the downside, dude, Canada always has the downside. No, seriously, Canada always has the downside, dude. He's talking maybe about CFL. This is, I don't know what downside means.

And then he said, yeah, I play Pokemon Go. Well, I played it when it was popular. Didn't play it when it wasn't popular, but then played it again. So this is the man's conversation, possibly about the cfl or the downside of living in canada yeah pokemon go got up and went and uh pokemon go got up and went okay i didn't love that overheard until i got that got that morsel at the end. Yeah, that's fine. Now, this next one comes from Madeline, formerly of Florida. Don't know where current.

Yeah, don't tell. Yeah, you got it. She's on the run. I was at a family dinner with my parents when I overheard the waiter texting, talking, sorry, to his friend seated at the table next to us. He was pulling out his phone to show them a photo, and he was like, you guys know Lisa, my sister, dead Lisa. Oh, God. You guys remember her? Which Lisa? Dead Lisa.

Dead Lisa. But she's alive. What if that was just your nickname? Oh, I love dead Lisa. What's she up to uh yeah uh same thing hanging out in the same place mostly yeah uh this next one final one comes from fraser r in millennie australia um this overheard happened when walking behind two young women in our town, which is semi-rural,

brings in a lot of tourists. One of the women was pregnant. They stepped out of an electric homeware shop in front of me. And this is what I heard. Not pregnant lady. So how many dream catchers do you have for the baby's room? Pregnant lady. I'm not exactly sure,

but you can never have enough. I think they'll go really well with the Nelson Mandela theme we've created. What? There's a lot going on in that baby's bedroom. Nelson Mandela. Many, many dream catchers. That baby's not coming out of the nursery for a long time. Yeah, baby's watching Invictus.

Watches it every night before bed. I want to hear Matt Damon's South African accent. You know, throw a little Will Smith in there for a balance. Sure, yeah. Man, oh, man. It is, you know what? I think it's probably, for an actor, it's probably one of the more fun accents to do.

South African? South African. Or New Zealander, or maybe Australian. Not Australian's kind of fun, too. What do you think? Yeah, they're all the same, I think. Casey, what do you think? Scottish? Oh, this is all...

To do? Yeah. For fun? Yeah, Irish, I think. Irish is good. You can be drunk. Yeah. Yeah.

You can't be drunk in any other language. Yeah, that's right. Well, German. You can probably be pretty drunk in German. You can be drunk. They all have drunk. Yeah, they all have drunk. You're right.

Those Australians with their fosters. trying to take away their fosters. Oh boy, yeah. The turdic knifes. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us. Our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one.

Ugh. SpyPod. One. Like these people have. Hi, Dave and Graham and wonderful guests. This is Allison from New Jersey. I was just looking at the Hulu menu

trying to pick what to watch and my four-year-old said, what are you going to watch? My Little Pony? And I said, no. And she said, The Cheese Family? Which she meant The Simpsons. That's adorable. Cheese Family.

That's great. I mean, yeah. What would I call it if I was seeing it for the first time? Probably something like that. The yellow, I don't know. Something. They're not shredded. They're not shredded? No something they're not shredded they're not sure no they're not they're not such a shredded family like my family not only am i shredded my whole family

wow we have been for generations and you do a family portrait this is all you pulling up your shirt in the mirror doing selfies yeah with santa and his santa's well i mean ripped like a bowl full of jelly oh you know the santa's have you taken your we wants to see santa yet or is it still yeah did and they had so that they didn't have to sit in his lap right oh they lapped it up oh they did oh i thought everywhere it was it was like santa was away and then look we go to a special elite santa oh really tell me about yeah real beard real belly covered in lysol real beard not even white beard just blonde just a blonde beard sure yeah it's like santa's been smoking that kind of yeah yeah and well no actually i'll be honest this year didn't see the beard. Santa's masked. Ah, yes.

But yeah, I didn't, I thought that that was all over the place, that nobody was hopping on Santa's lap. I don't know. I mean, I think it's... Just place by place, you know? Case by case situation. Yeah, lap by lap. Lap by lap.

Yeah, I thought about being a Santa this year. Yeah! I thought about being it Santa this year because I saw an ad I thought about being it but then I realized that probably a lot of kids pee themselves on Santa's lap so you know I don't know if you get a protective thing or if the suit just is constantly

well there's a classic SNL skit about Santy rap because you don't know where Saint Nick has been also there's a classic SNL skit about Santy Rap. Because you don't know where St. Nick has been. Also, there's a great one about Mr. Robinson's neighbor. Yes, excellent. Excellent programming. And let's not forget the Sweetie Sisters.

Never forget them. Next phone call? Yeah. Sure. Dave, Graham, luminous guest. This is Luke in Seattle calling. Wasn't overheard. I was recently eating outdoors in a patio area, and the people at the table next to me,

and the people at the table next to me, there was a bunch of older women, and one of them, as I walked by with my food, one of them was saying to the others, so this client that I'm knitting this for, I am like freaking out, because she has really long arms. And I thought that was hilarious,

so I told my brother who I was there with about it, and then over the course of the next several minutes we just heard the phrase long arms and really long arms come from the stable several more times. Thanks. Love the show. I'm really bitten off more than I can chew yarn-wise.

I said I quoted a price based on human arms, and I'm getting these giant long arms. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I said I quoted a price based on human arms, and I'm getting these giant long arms. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I regret placing my order. Yeah. Yeah, I don't, I didn't know, well, I mean, of course, you can pay for everything. I never thought about

somebody ordering a sweater that then was going to be constructed. Yeah. Like, I always like post-manufactured. How many cables then was going to be constructed yeah like i always like post post-manufactured uh how many cables are they going to knit into this thing holy shit that's what etsy runs on yeah oh yeah let's see let's forget about etsy this time of year everybody out there remember etsy when you're uh yeah when you need a pair of cufflinks with uh you know uh old-timey uh like a typewriter typewriter key initials yeah yeah that's fun um what uh i always thought that like there's like certain like physical truths like your height is your right wingspan arm span

right yeah so do some people have bigger wingspans than that probably like is is there's lots of freaks out there you know what i mean yeah fucking freak ordering their custom sweaters what was the basketball player matumbo he had like yeah he had some crazy long arms maybe that that was the client. I mean, yeah, there's a new, oh boy. In recent years, they started talking about not a basketball player's height, but their length, which is their height

with their arms up stretched. And they've talked about Scott Stapp's arms wide open. They continue to talk about that to this day. Do you remember when there was like, there was a news story where a dolphin had swallowed something like a bunch of shit, and then China's solution was to find the guy with the longest arms,

and he just reached in the dolphin's mouth and pulled the thing out. And it worked? It worked! Because they couldn't figure out a tool to do it that wouldn't harm him. And then somebody was like, let's get the guy with the longest arms and just put him in there. Gentle touch of long arm, man. Yeah, Slenderman. Get me Slenderman. Yikes. Slenderman's got such long arms

you can touch his feet while standing up. Um, yeah. Yeah. Okay, final phone call coming at ya. Cleopatra. Hey, Dave and Graham and somebody else. This is Scott in Boston.

I thought you guys might like to know that it's about 30 degrees here. That's all my lunch break. I saw a woman jogging in a leather jacket Have a nice day Bye What? Running in a leather jacket? That's like seeing somebody

Jogging in a leather jacket Yeah You gotta assume that they're also wearing jeans, right? With a leather jacket Yeah, I'm assuming it's Andrew Dice Clay Oh, yeah Or Mrs. Dice Clay That didn't really throw me

So you just thought Yeah She's jogging in a leather jacket yeah she's a badass yeah that's true yeah she's probably part of a gang and uh that's what she has to do that's her colors just stole from a robot it doesn't throw you i guess you're so tough yeah you're already like the toughest jogger there is. Running around with, you know, gloves with studs on. Yeah, ready to go.

Yeah. Spinning a chain on your right hand. Jukebox. Yeah. Yeah. The whole thing. I got a couple of bottles on your fingertips. Joan Johnson on the loose.

Dave's trying to put fingers. Oh we go he got two warriors oh wow one just fell edward come out to play oh well that brings us to this the end of this here episode before we do that oh yeah what's your what's your highest step count on your fitbit yeah what's your all-time oh um i think probably like 15 000 for a day maybe no no maybe 20 i think yeah well what did you do that day you you know how good question just like errands i'm a pedestrian so I'm walking everywhere. Nice. The mall days were where you get a lot of steps.

That's what malls are for. You got to go to Purdy's Chocolate, then you got to walk all the way down to Kernel's. Go lap to lap, yeah. Throw a coin in the fountain. There's all sorts of great things at the mall. That's the other thing. Check out Etsy, but also check out your local mall.

See what's going on. Love them all. Yeah. Last time I went to the mall, I got pretzels on two different levels of the mall. So damn. Yeah. Yeah.

It was good. It was the double decker pretzeling. That's great. Yeah. Nordstrom is great. I can't afford anything there, but they have a bar inside, which is, it just feels beautiful.

Hey, yeah, I got, I got a nice place. We could go get a drink. Yeah, exactly. We can go get a drink and some slacks. Feels like the American dream. When I saw it, I was like, that's America. That's good.

Eating in the Nordstrom's. Yeah. And then, yeah. Casey, thank you for being our guest. Thank you so much for having me. Oh, it's a pleasure as always. Do you have anything that you want to plug? Where can people find you online?

I'm on the Instagram now at my name, which is k.c. My initials, Novak. And then Twitter's at FunnyGirlBlues. Nice. And yeah, check those out for sure. And I have a thing to plug as well. I am doing an 24 hour standup set at little mountain gallery for the benefit of little mountain,

finding themselves a new home. And if you want to find out more about it, you can go to stand up for 24 hours.com and check it out. You know what I mean? That's it's going to be great. It was great last time. Dave's going to be one of the writers on it too. You know what I mean? It's going to be great. It was great last time. Dave's going to be one of the writers on it too this year. Oh, so fun.

Yeah. Yeah, Graham has a rotating staff of writers who come on and make an hour's worth of jokes about the last hour that happened, basically. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. And as mentioned before, if you want to Call in to our call-in show

That's happening next week December 14th At noon Between noon and 2 Pacific You have to email us At spyatmaximumfun.org And if you are selected,

you will be given a time to call in. And if you win, then you win a night at Lake Louise. You win an unforgettable night with Grail. He is going to, he's just like, he will explore every cranny. He will stay away from the nooks.

Abstinence only. Absolutely. Thank you all, you out there, for listening. We love that you love the show and listen to it. And if this is your first time listening, welcome to the fold. And, you know, take care of yourselves and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Podcast to yourself.