Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 717 - James Hartnett

Episode Date: December 14, 2021

Comedian James Hartnett returns to talk Mexico, Ronald McDonald, and an exciting new tooth.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 717 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's tunneling to the center of the earth because he's wearing a headlamp, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, I found this headlamp. We might need it. There's some headlamping that needs to be done and I just wanted to try it out on you guys. Oh, check this out.

Whoa, flashing headlamp. Oh whoa like a flashing one now yeah is this what the song one headlight was about yeah it was originally called one headlamp from the album bringing down the horse which was also it was originally called bring down the house but they were they went funnier with everything the wallflowers um i'm gonna take it i guess today a returning guest to the podcast uh he has an album out there called get bent and is a co-host of the very hilarious podcast evil man it's james hartnett hi guys hey uh thanks for having me do guests when when you have a preamble before you introduce the guests do guests talk and laugh and stuff because i thought oh i shouldn't laugh at dave here because you haven't i haven't been introduced no well it's you know it's fun either way okay yeah it's i mean you can laugh at me i'm just a fucking clown at this point it's he's our he's our uh pagliacci when

i last went to the doctor he he said, you should go see Dave Chilkin. I said, I do a podcast with Dave Chilkin. Pugliacci. The little dog clown. The little push-up nose dog clown. Pugsliacci from the Adams family.

We could do a lot of fun stuff with this. A lot of good work. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. James. James, we're recording this on a Wednesday. It's hump day.

How are you humping? Yeah, who am I? I'm humping pretty hard, actually, because I don't even know if you guys are aware of this, but I actually just got back from Mexico. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. I mean, I don't know why you would be aware of it, but, you know. Well, I check our shared calendar, and I knew. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, we knew those dates were X'd out for you. Dos Equis. Dos Equis'd out. Come on, Dave, you can do it. We believe in you. Yeah. Hugs Liatchi. Let's get there uh where in mexico mejiho well um we uh we went to huatulco and uh yeah there's a direct flight

from here in toronto and uh it's kind of a long story but we my girlfriend and i went and we um we had a few days with her dad so so we stayed at an all-inclusive for a few days because it just felt like a, you know, thing to do when you're with your girlfriend's dad. Yeah, that's true. You don't want to go backpacking or anything. Yeah. Yeah. So we were there for a few days and then just my girlfriend and I went to Mexico City.

Nice. How was Mexico City? It was really cool. It was like, it was amazing it was uh the area we were in was kind of like uh brooklyn or something or montreal even oh cool um yeah but um you know it's kind of big and overwhelming depending on where you are but is it the biggest city in the world at one point it was yeah i feel like it's in the mix. Yeah. I know that when I had the game SimCity. Me too.

Where you simulate a city. They came with this little sheet that was like all the city's scores. And the top scoring city was Mexico City with 20 million. So I guess like just have the most people. The rankings are purely based on getting the most people. The rankings are purely based on getting the most people. There's got to be a Chinese one that's bigger than Mexico City, isn't there? I mean, it's un-Google-able. It is un-Google-able.

Is it very high up? It was. And you know what? I think I got shaken up by it or whatever. A couple times, I just felt a little dizzy. Yeah. And I had to sit down and drink water. That's okay, though.

Your body needs water. Agua. That's true. They call it agua. What did you do at the all-inclusive resort? What do you do there? I've never been. I've never been to an all-inclusive.

Well, they're very silly. I mean mean it's probably not what you you probably wouldn't on your own accord really want to go but you know in these certain circumstances it's fun yeah you kind of go and it's like um i don't know you feel like you're sort of in oh you know what you feel like uh you know in star trek when they go to ryza no the okay the spa planet or like on um i know that i could picture it yes yeah there's sort of like a spa planet and every everything's kind of like gentle and sort of sexual and everyone's dressed your girlfriend's dad's there yeah and your girlfriend's

dad's in the wait was this like hedonism was it one of those yeah we went to hedonism which great people there uh you know uh no but you kind of go and and you get a room and and uh there's all these restaurants but you know all the food and drinks are free and bars and you kind of wander around this there's like multiple restaurants and bars in one yeah resort wow that's yeah and they all have names like uh well they all have names like, well, they're usually different ethnicities. There's the Mexican one, there's the Asian one, and the Italian one, you know, restaurants.

The three bigs. When I go to Mexico, I'm like, ooh, gotta have some chicken chow mein. You know what, Dave? The Asian restaurant was by far the worst one. So we thought, let's be healthy tonight. Maybe we'll get sushi at the Asian restaurant was by far the worst one. So we thought, let's be healthy tonight. Maybe we'll get like sushi at the Asian restaurant. And then it was like fried sweet and sour pork.

Yes. Excellent. This is something that caters, I suppose, to the American markets. It's making them feel at home. But you know what? It was mostly, I think,ians and then some people from mexico city weird and they had a weird very lame late night bar like a bar that's only open late night so you might think oh this is gonna be sexy yeah but it was a very dad yeah i mean you're with your girlfriend's dad. But it was a very well-lit bar called Desires. Oh.

Yeah. There's no fucking way. Yeah. That you would go in there with somebody's dad. Yeah, well. We're going to Desires. But Desires was not sexy at all. And it had sports on the TV.

And it would have North American sports. And it had a big logo two big logos under the tvs one for the nhl playoffs and one for the cfl holy shit oh wow yeah so i i made me think i think this is uh you can you can barely watch the cfl in toronto yeah yeah is the the great cup is happening this weekend, I believe. Holy shit, is it? Yeah. Yeah, it's normally in November. November. Who is, do we know?

I think Hamilton. Yeah, Hamilton's one of them, and I want to say either Winnipeg or Saskatchewan. Yeah. I just see little bits as I'm, you know, whatever sports Instagrams I'm on. as i'm you know whatever sports uh instagrams i'm on like but i don't look at them close enough to know who wins because i don't care about canadian football yeah and but this this club desires their their implication is what you desire as a sports bar that's i guess yeah because it wasn't like a sort of you know sexy drug-fueled orgy kind of thing it was it was seemed to just be they'd play i saw a raptors game being played on there oh wow it's a mexican soccer game it was very well lit you cannot can you keep your eyes off a tv in a bar

no no me neither no and actually yeah my girlfriend and i went to a restaurant in mexico city and they had a tv you know like i wrote like a cool restaurant and it was like ironically playing old betty boop cartoons oh yeah couldn't stop watching the cartoon had no idea what she was talking about what are you chris lock he loves betty does he have calloway calloway he loves He loves, he loves all the classics. That's, that's what we know of Chris. Um, so then you just,

you just hang out, right? That's all you can do in a resort is kind of lounge. You kind of hang out by the beach or by the pool. Do you get any drinks in like a coconut? No, but I did think about it. I did have pina coladas.

That's pretty good. Did they have a swim up bar? Did they have something like that? They did. And we were like, we got to get one drink at the swim-up bar but we didn't when it came down to it we thought i don't really want to do that promise made promise broke yeah apparently that's a very um urine heavy area yeah uh yeah wow um and then what did you do in mexico city while you were there um we uh went to this uh the anthropological museum was like i think they're i think their most famous

museum it was uh very neat stuff about the aztecs the mayans oh that seems like something you could take a dad along to skip designers yes he wasn't there we had him for the sexy part and we did the educational part alone um yeah and they uh what else did we do kind of just walked around this cool neighborhood and we went to their uh they call it the centro historico which is like i guess what does that mean oh historical center okay but uh this big square was it was cool but um very intense you know a lot of people around and it was a little uh yeah fun but but that part was stressful but a little too much for old james yeah a little much for me i yeah no thank you centro historico uh no gracias that's that's my understanding of how to say yes thank you um the how is your spanish james i thought i mean i'm sort of like very basic passable i think yeah you're basically

i wasn't as good as i thought i was i try to talk thinking like i can do this i went to columbia a few years ago and i was like yeah i mean i yeah i speak french i i'll get by but some things are just wrong some words are just not even connected to what we know yeah pecho what does that mean we were at a restaurant and and i was just like too excited to be talking to the guy and and i was just sort of trying to convey that I'm excited to be here, you know? And I said, oh, you know, muchas gracias, muy excitado. And then my girlfriend was like, oh, that doesn't mean excited. That means like, and I looked it up and it does mean excited, but it means it in the sense of like molecules getting excited or horny.

So I told the damn guy i'm horny the molecules in my penis are so excited for this dinner amigo uh the molecules in my penis going crazy yeah exactly they're zipping and zapping all over the place. I remember I saw the box for our oven. And it's going exactly where we were. But I never knew that the Spanish word for oven is horno. Horno. Horno. Oven. Horno. Left dinner for you in the horno babe yeah this is what i'm warming up in the old horno it's like a horny porno all pornos are horny but not all hornies are pornos i'm trying to think if i've seen a non-horny porno. I mean, sometimes the look in people's eyes, you can tell they're not.

Yeah. This is a paycheck. Also, sometimes they'll do a silly thing. They'll do like one on based on Gilligan's Island or something like that. Yeah. Those are fairly unhorny as it goes. Yeah. True.

I mean, you know, Gilligan gets it, but it's not fun. It's not sexy fun. It's more hilarious fun. You know? Right. You guys know what I'm talking about? If podcasts were invented 20 years before they were invented, every podcast would just be guys being like,

so are you a ginger or a Marianne? Yeah. Why does Donald Duck not have to wear pants and wear shirts? That was good dialogue in the friends era hey dissecting cartoons and what not so James you are one of the co-pilots of

a hilarious podcast called Evil Men tell us the conceit tell us how it goes the idea is uh yeah each episode Chris Locke and Mike Belazzo and I uh talk about a different

horrible person um could be a serial killer could be a guy from history or a character oh like that doesn't have to be real Gargamel is one of them Gargamel Cthulhu we've done I know you've done chevy chase that was yeah chevy chase that was mike's one uh at the end of the episodes we rank

how evil we think they are they are and mike i think has chevy chase on par with john wayne gacy that i yeah i don't think he's right on but they're both have like a chart a chart of where they all we did have a listener make a little chart for us after i asked someone to but um still i'm i'm just gonna ask people can you please draw pugs liachi yes yeah send us in your best pugs liachi and your uh your reward for doing so will be a sense of personal satisfaction yeah we'll be hey i saw that i saw you did that i wasn't serious when i said to do it is there uh the one that you all agreed on was is the worst or have you not even plumb oh the worst that's a tough one yeah. You gotta assume Hitler's somewhere in the mix, right? Oh, I thought you meant what was the worst episode.

Tell us the worst and then rank it to the best. And I'll tell you, we'll do ours next. We'll go through the 717 episodes. Worst man. We haven't done Hitler yet, but he's gotta be the worst one. Actually, the worst one we've done i think is mike did a guy and i hate to say it i'm blanking on his name but he was um he was one of stalin's sort of oh like his kind of uh commandant or whatever would send out the

secret police yeah he was horrible he was really to the point where usually i mean because it's not educational it's really just for us to make jokes and have fun right but and so usually it's all just fun but that one at the end it became hard to keep like laughing because the guy was a guy was a jerk he was a jerk seems like it must be hard to be like oh we're yeah we don't want to laugh about you know people people who've killed so many people. Yeah, I know.

You gotta be like Chevy Chase. Yes, exactly. Gotta be selective in your choices, you know? Yeah. What about Genghis Khan? Has he come up in conversation?

That's a great one. Yeah. He seems like a guy who's probably done some, I mean, he's done some awesome stuff for sure. He did. Yeah. He helped Bill and Ted with their final project.

That's right. And, uh, he helped make Wrath Yeah. He helped, uh, Bill and Ted with their final project. That's right. And, uh, he helped make Wrath of Khan and, uh, he's, do you know what? I think he invented the,

like, uh, eating a turkey leg, like a giant turkey leg. I think that was probably Genghis Khan. Sure. That's, that's all I know.

He's a messy eater in Bill and Ted. That's right. I rewatched the first Bill and Ted over COVID, and I was really impressed at how it held up. I thought it was so funny. It is so funny. I watched it not that long ago, too. As a kid, there was a lot of stuff that I remember my dad laughing at

that I was like, I don't get what the joke is here. I don't get why them thinking that number 69 is so funny. What's so funny about that, dad? But yeah, it's funny. If you went to a sexy all-inclusive resort with your dad, maybe you'd know. We'd go to Desires and just hash it out. Yeah, I like in the movie, like, isn't it, I think Plato is trying to meet, is he trying to, like, meet girls? Socrates, because they call him Socrates.

Oh, Socrates. Oh, yeah. Socrates, yeah. yeah and billy the kid is like trying to teach him to be yeah like game with the ladies yeah socrates tries to hit on some girls in a mall food court at what point were they like they really must have had bad history grades that they had to go back in time and get all these like just getting socrates wasn't enough like we know we need to get 10 guys we're gonna put on a fucking huge show um yeah and also um they all spoke in their own languages which was an interesting like they didn't all

speak english in the movie they spoke whatever language they spoke so socrates was always whatever it was greek roman uh go on and then you know ganges khan was in uh mongolian and uh etc etc i don't know that uh i don't think jonah bark said anything oh yeah she yeah she didn't that's right she taught an aerobics class i want to say that's right yeah um and then beethoven b7 they called him when he loved a keyboard he was playing a key electric keyboard he was freaking out yeah at the mall and some probably should have said spoiler alert before all this but no no people learned this in history class yeah that's how i learned they just put on bill and ted they're like follow along closely and then we yeah we'd watch bogus journey just as a special treat did you ever have that uh the week before like holiday summer holiday or christmas holiday

where teachers are just give they gave up on trying to teach anything so it's all just videos and uh free time doodle what you want all that kind of stuff yeah I loved it yeah me too it was the best I a couple years ago I remember I went to see my daughter uh they did like a Christmas concert in the gym at her school boogie woogie Christmas it was boogie woogie christmas it was boogie woogie christmas no it was like you know every grade did their thing and uh kindergartners were in charge of like the uh you this concert is happening on the unseated territory of oh you salish peoples um the uh uh but like i i remember thinking what's better the last week of school school before Christmas or the last week of school before summer? I think the one before summer is agony because you know that it's just like, you can see it outside that it's so nice.

But your teachers let you go outside a lot. That's true. Yeah, that's true. But I think themas one is just like it's the only thing kind of getting you to the end of the year you know it does feel like you get like there might be something with hot cocoa there might be a movie yeah my kids have pajama day pajama day that sounds fun there's gonna be all right like i remember we would do like square dancing in high school or

you were free to go do square dancing you're free to go do square dancing if you want no pressure no pressure uh it feels like also there was maybe a day when uh everybody would bring in a snack so there'd be a lot of rice crispy squares and and uh and whatnot ginger some kind of winter formal you could ask your crush i always thought the right before summer was more like that cathartic like you know because this year's ending man and you sort of felt like you're older than you were like i remember feeling like i was like uh i don't know melrose place character or something like like you know i like that girl and it's summer. And I mean,

while I'm like 12 and it's like, none of this is at all important in the least, but what about a reboot? Reboot of Melrose place with 12 year olds. Yeah. Living in an apartment complex. Yeah. They're all trying to learn how to do laundry and whatnot.

But yeah, like, um, uh, yeah, I don't know. I think I, cause summer you're right.

You would be able to go outside a lot, which was, which was a lot of fun, but it only, it kind of whet your appetite for more outside all the time. You know, like you had gym class outside and then all of a sudden you had to go inside for science.

Ugh. You know what I mean? What are you going to go inside for science you know what i mean what are you gonna learn what science are they gonna teach you in june that's a good question yeah bugs where they are where they will be etc uh speaking of christmasy things i am drinking an eggnog yes yeah yeah the classic um just out of a jug just we got a uh a two gallon yeah we got eight liters of eggnog i think what do you think if cupful is probably what you want on a yearly basis when we got it's got one of those things that like the little um dispenser at the bottom like you know like a bag of wine yeah yeah yeah it's probably the most viscous of the of the things you can drink any yeah that's exactly what i was gonna say i can't think of anything thicker yeah you drink that you drink yeah like maybe milkshake though has got you know it's i get you couldn't drink

eggnog through a straw could you yes ew i mean like as like what is you think it's too thick for a straw yeah i think it's just like do you have a straw dave yeah i have eggnog here right now i can tell you it's just like a little bit syrupy or than milk and uh yeah so you have it multiple times uh during the year i will do one one per year i don't have it like throughout the year no but you're gonna have more than one july day eggnog honey i'm thinking eggnog for the barbecue that's what you baste the meat with is eggnog I got a one liter boy

it's a one liter thing I'm sure it'll go bad in the fridge have you guys seen I saw I think it was an Alton Brown recipe the guy from Iron Chef he was a Republican apparently that doesn't surprise me

I was surprised I believe in the Constitution Republican i was surprised but he's kind of like a i believe in the constitution republican i don't think he's like a trump guy yeah but what's the difference well he refuses to take photos with fans that's yeah i know right it's like you're lucky to have a fan you're lucky to have. I mean, you're fine if you're on a show. I'd go, oh, there's Alton Brown. We had a friend of his on our podcast who defended this point. That is correct. You had a friend of his?

Yeah. Like an actor? Yeah, it was John Hodgman. It was John Hodgman. We didn't just book. We weren't just booking friends of Alton Brown. Hey, should we book Alton Brown's neighbor? But you were saying he has a recipe?

Yes, sorry. He has a recipe. I'm sure it's like a common thing where you make eggnog like two months in advance and you leave it in a jar. And people really swear by this like aged eggnog which sounds horrible it sounds disgusting there's nothing the only thing i would let like less want to have is like soy eggnog or something like that which is spanish for i am eggnog yeah huevo nog um have you either of you ever had homemade uh no maybe i don't know my wife's dad makes it not every year but but if there's like a big group of us having christmas he'll make a batch uh i think that's why he doesn't do it every year because you need to

make a lot of it to make it worthwhile right uh and it's it's you you do there's like a mental hump you have to get over to be like i am drinking raw eggs and cream and sugar but it is it's so good and it's the only like i've tried putting rum in just like store eggnog and it's dumb i don don't like it. But this was the only time where you add booze and it's like, oh, this is good. It's like dessert. I just, I don't know. Like I say, I'll have one cup a year and halfway through that cup I'll regret

doing it. I'll be like, why don't we cut it to half a cup this year? No, I'm done my cup. I might go get more in the break. Oh, man. i've i feel like egg nog is the type of thing i only want the cheap store version i don't think i want to like mature clever take on eggnog you know what i mean like it's the same if you want an artisan eggnog that you really taste the egg yeah you know like when you have like an artisan cola from somewhere you're

like this doesn't taste anything like coke and i'd rather have a coke it's that kind of situation right or the like our our in the store oat egg nog yeah for sure i mean anything anything goes this time of year you know what i mean oh yeah all bets are off it's uh it's a great season for oat milk you know like i feel like you're making a big show if you were vegan or lactose intolerant i feel like that would be a great freedom to be like, oh, I don't have to have eggnog. Like, that would be the one thing you'd be like, oh, I miss cheese so much. But at least I don't have to have eggnog.

Yeah, exactly. I'm not settled with that response. I feel a little responsibility to myself and my ancestors. What about you, James? Do you like a nog? myself and my ancestors. What about you, James? Do you like a nog? I'm not a huge... You know, my stomach is not great

and dairy is... Beg to differ. Your stomach is so good. Thank you. Well, I appreciate that. 10 out of 10. Oh my god. Well, okay. I gotta keep an eye on you here. Thank you.

I'll see you at Desires. So I like the idea of it, especially with rum. But, you know, I struggle with dairy, so I probably wouldn't crack one open. Is there a holiday wintry drink that you guys like? Like a boozy bed. Oh, you's what's good on a cold winter's night hot toddy oh yes yeah oh i love i do that sometimes what is that that's peppermint tea put a bit of honey in there put a bit of whiskey in there yeah cinnamon stick and away you go you know what's also good if you make hot chocolate and put red wine in it what yeah it tastes like red velvet wow see this i wouldn't

have thought of in a million years i wouldn't either out of left field yeah give it a try okay what are you where do you how do you learn about that? you know you hang out with the right people and you talk to people I can't remember if I just did it in a weird having a weird day I guess

or if I read it, I can't remember but I occasionally do do it if you just came up with that off the top of your head I would be worried no, I've read it i've definitely read it i just i'm sure it's out there folks google it i bet it's also uh have you ever had that where somebody thought that it's a thing that everybody else has and then mentions it to you and you're like i've never heard like if the person's like you know every christmas i do

what everybody else does i just have red wine and hot cocoa and you're like what the fuck is that about yeah all day i start in the morning and by 10 o'clock i am fucking ripped yep uh are you do you does all your family live out in toronto um most of my family lives around toronto um yeah i find um it's tricky to coordinate getting together with everybody a bit sometimes when they have kids and everything and right um i'm like the youngest by a fair bit and i don't have kids or anything so i'm kind of like i'll go i'll do anything yeah um and i always i'm like it makes you feel like the loser of the siblings at this time of year because they all have like things to do and you're like well you could plan some things i go see you could go see a passion play or something like that yeah i put on a play did

you say no a passion play you know where you watch the uh crucifixion of jesus yeah my favorite story about christmas is when jesus is crucified they find baby jesus dot dot dot you know you guys know what happens from here yeah um i remember when i was a kid my parents made us go look at a live nativity scene and in the minus like minus 10 cold what was live about were the animals live they did the whole thing yeah animals were alive they did the baby wasn't not a real baby i think maybe real baby it was that it was like all authentico and it was you know uh muy authentico cold weather jesus yeah and like you know there's the three wise men show up and do their whole three stooges routine where they can't fit in the door they all try to go in together and uh you know there's a kid up there that's probably playing um drummer boy or something like that kid shepherd yeah i have no gift to give

yeah i don't know why i showed up if i have no gift to give yeah i don't know. Do you mind if I make a bunch of noise near your sleeping baby? Rumpa pum pum. Yeah. What is there, James? Do you have like anything that's like a holiday tradition that you either love and or wish would go away? Oh, holiday tradition. You know, we've really gotten into putting up the Christmas tree early. Like how early?

Like we started doing it like the first day of December. Oh, okay. Yeah. And last winter, because it was so depressing, lockdown and COVID, we left it up like all of January just because it was something to look at. That's true. Yeah. That's good. Yeah.

I've started to like that. It's kind of fun having a tree a bit longer than is probably necessary, but I kind of like, it's nice having around, you know, you're in your couch late at night, the lights are off and you, you know, you're drinking wine and hot chocolate.

You're staring at a tree. The classic combo. Yeah. The, uh, do you have a favorite decoration or are they all just kind of standard balls and whatnot i'm not even kidding we went to niagara and i bought a red wine um ornament and it's like a plastic glass with real liquid in it

james do you have a problem do you want to talk to us? No, I mean, it's... You know what else is good is red wine in soup. Red wine in water. Red wine in eggs in the morning. Have some red wine. Do you ever drink mulled wine? I feel like that's one of the worst things going. Too sweet for me. I've had it.

You've had it? I like it. I like it. It's Christmassy. But like, you know one one mold the problem with all these things is they're good to have around a group of people and i'm not hanging out with groups of people so i miss out on like there's no point in you know mulling a giant pot of wine yeah and then going on zoom yeah that's exactly exactly it because anytime i've

had mulled wine i've always had like a few sips and thought oh nice and then you realize oh shit there's like so much more i feel kind of obligated to have some and then you feel disgusting and what is it you like warm it up you put like you know an orange packed with cloves into it and a cinnamon stick and you warm it up and all the alcohol cooks off and so you just have this brown grape juice oh i didn't know that all the alcohol goes away and then you kind of have to like pour a shot of something into it a shot of like hot chocolate. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. It is like a thing that you need to do it big.

You can't just make a tiny little one bottle. Yeah, just one mull. Just mulling for one. Yeah. Yeah, I think, I don't think I've ever had mulled wine, but the smell of it's too fragrant. You know what I mean? It smells like a potpourri situation. Well, of course you do.

Yeah. What, is there anything that you guys hate? It's like a holiday. What about fruit? Fruit cake. Everybody hates fruit cake. I wouldn't know. I've never had it.

You don't mind it? Nah. I got, my family was very british uh you know growing up and i had all that stuff you know fruit cake what do you call it mincemeat pie i don't know yeah all the all the pudding or whatever you light it on fire there's some pudding you light on fire yeah yeah yeah now you have like all that stuff you have british roots and i've heard you guys on uh evil man talking about the comic books that you're yeah because i got the same ones when i was a kid my aunt would send us uh bino and beezer and oh man yeah dandy and all that stuff

that's they i know they occupy such a funny spot in my memory my uncle is in england and he same exact thing he'd sent whenever he'd visit, he'd bring me a bunch of dandies and beanos and stuff. I know they're like a weird in the weird thing in the midst of your memory, huh? We were like, Oh yeah, that was a,

yeah, it was like a Dennis the menace, but he was a black haired. Yeah. He dressed like Freddy Krueger. He dressed like Freddy Krueger. And he like really beat up this one character, Walter the softy and uh but it's weird it was like seeing into another dimension because they were none of these characters existed in your your world so it's like minnie the minx was

one of them i remember she was rough and tumble banana man oh i don't remember banana man i feel like i gotta look him up what about desperate dan you know desperate dan oh i remember desperate dan he was like the strongest guy alive yeah yeah and he like shaved his beard using a log or something like that or why was he so desperate i don't know maybe because he didn't have anybody else of his kind you know so he can never he can never do things that us mortals can do you know know what I mean? He was basically the most high testosterone guy of all time. Yeah. Until we came along.

That's right. And when we challenged desperate Dan to a sex off and, uh, miles out front. Um, but yeah, it was just a weird, I like,

as soon as I heard you guys talk about that i was like oh man somebody who understands the weirdness of british comics um they put out one every year called an annual yeah that's what i would have like a hard a hard cover thick big thing with a bunch of the characters what was it like what were their jokes and did you get the jokes yeah it'd be like you know the newspaper comics but but british so you know there'd be some little scenario that you know they'd have to deal with sure there was a thing in it where kids were playing something called conquers and uh it was like it was in the comic strip it was just understood that this game conquers was something everybody knew about but i had to like piece it together in the comics it was just understood that this game conquers was something

everybody knew about but i had to like piece it together in my brain like it's something with a walnut or a chestnut on a string oh my god i have the exact same experience 100 know what you mean yeah i remember i remember being like i guess conquers is like you know that's the game yeah throw some walnuts at the ground yeah and like a lot of the principals portrayed would be wearing uh border board hats oh sure which that seems like a very britishism and you know kids all kids at school wearing uh hot costumes yeah short pants yeah but like was that everywhere in england i wonder or that just, or did some kids go to public English school and they didn't have to wear short pants? I know what you mean.

It seems more prevalent there. Hmm. Yeah. Like we, I never had to wear short pants at any point. Oh. Or any uniform. I wore a Cubstone uniform. I went to Catholic school, so I did wear a uniform.

What did it entail? What are we talking about here? You know what? It was pretty chill. It was basically a white tucked-in shirt. They even let us wear white golf shirts in the summer. Nice. But they did make you go to school in the summer, which is terrible.

Yeah. Black pants, black shoes. You know, the girls could wear black pants or a kilt. Okay. Oh, and there was a green ugly sweater girls could wear black pants or kilt. Okay. Oh, and there was a green ugly sweater you could wear if you wanted to. No necktie situation? No, no. You'd get in trouble if you had an untucked shirt.

That was the main act of rebellion. Teachers would be like, tuck in that shirt. And if you were cool, you would have your shirt untucked. I was telling... So my daughter's in brownies, that shirt you know and now if you're cool you would have your shirt on top i was telling so my daughter's in brownies uh which is like girl guides for very small girls uh and i was telling her that when i did boy scouts or cub scouts well a big part of it was inspection they would just come around and like look at your it was your hair combed.

Are your nails clean? Like you would have to hold out your nails every week for like some neighborhood dad to look at. I remember the guy that was the lead of, it was called the sixth. Your group was a six. And the lead of my six always failed that every week. Like he didn't know it was coming every single week. He'd fail.

I was trying to like, before she took Brown or before she did brownies like her friends were in it and i was trying to tell her she said she wanted to do it so i signed her up and uh then i tried to tell her what it was and i couldn't remember i was like you're gonna sell cookies it'll be no problem you sell cookies you got to keep those nails clean yeah uh there'll be a game where like you're in the gym and someone is calling out different sides of the boat and you have to run back and forth port starboard bow stirred and that's about it did you do that james a scout? No, I never did anything like that. I kind of wish I did. I would like to have these outdoor skills.

I never learned any. I didn't get those. It was really just running back and forth. Yeah, dodgeball. Also, you had to do stuff to get a badge. I remember there were some kids that had to get a sash. They had so much badge covered their sweater or whatever. And then there were some kids that had to get a sash. They had so much badge. Covered their sweater or whatever.

And then there were some kids that just had one. One badge. Obviously didn't want to be there. Dirty nails. One badge. Yeah, but it was a thing that was non-negotiable in my household. You were going to be part of the Cub Scouts. Beaver Scouts if you got in young enough but you didn't have to stay on to boy scouts which is the beavers did

the beavers wear like a bucket hat they were a bucket hat that had a tail on the back uh and it was pretty adorable but then the cubs everybody had to wear this weird skin tight, uh, gray shirt that didn't look good on anybody. Yeah. And short and the like, like sock garters. We didn't have to wear sock garters, but that's incredible.

Yeah. We had to wear, you had to wear sock garters with your, the color of your, every troop was like divided into four colors. And I believe we were Tawny was our color. But yeah, like we didn't learn anything maybe you learn stuff in scouts maybe you become when you're a scout you start like learning fire making and whittling your thing was just nails and nails and you know you if you helped an old person you could get a badge

uh-huh if you hurt an old person you could get a badge uh-huh if you heard an old person you had a badge taken away that's right and uh and then there was like it like they said they were all neighborhood dads were in charge of the the thing and they were named after characters from the jungle book if i recall yeah it was very jungle book heavy yeah it was it's, it's weird. It's a weird. And now Dave tells me that they don't even do uniforms anymore. It's just a t-shirt. It's a t-shirt now. Yeah. Pretty good.

Yeah. Damn. Yeah. Cause Cubs also had to wear a hat, silly little beanie hat. And, uh, you know what? I was just told that's the way it was. Yeah. Am I wrong?

I mean, this might be wrong, but wasn't there like some scandal about the people who made the Boy Scouts or something? Yeah, everyone from before was bad. Lord Baden-Powell, is that right? Yeah, he was probably bad. Yeah, I mean, back to the bone. I don't know anything about him. I might be wrong on this but no i mean you're like anyone boy if only there was someone who had a podcast about bad guys yeah well we'll just have to wait

until it happens i mean i'm not an expert on every single evil guy but okay but you know what uh you can you guys do good work you can do you dig do your research. Yeah, it's a good idea. I don't know if he turned out to be a bad guy, but I know his thing was he was big on handshakes. He made sure that everybody knew how to do a proper handshake. That is the total sum of things I know

about Lord Big Pal. But, was he a lord before he created Boy Scouts or after? Anyways, hard to tell, hard to know. Um, do you think, uh, you, you feel like you missed out? Did you do anything? What'd you do when you were a kid? You do sports?

What did you? I kind of didn't like having to do stuff. I always remember like when my parents would put me in something, I'd always be, I'd be like, ah, I just want to be at home. Um, I didn't want to do any of them yeah i mean i did i remember doing like a camp but it was like for the day you didn't even stay over and i was like oh i hate it i just want to go home so yeah not really uh but i grew up in the country you know so i would uh roam around in the country i listened to a lot of

radio because i was lonely what were you listening to this is great you're out in the country you're listening to radio yeah well you got and this is like 1940 right yeah yeah yeah i'm uh closing in closing in on the big eight oh um you made fried green tomatoes there you had a best friend i uh i was like as a young kid i was like yeah i would listen to a lot of like am sports talk radio i was very i would listen to that you know alone in the in the country i also would listen to um uh coast to coast you know that uh supernatural show that was on late at night yeah art bell yeah he was like a conspiracy guy or something like that oh yeah i think the premise of the show he would take calls like overnight and he's this weird guy with sunglasses and i think well he's a

radio host isn't he i think he broadcasted from like an isolated desert yeah like new mexico or something yeah and i think the premise of the show was that when people call in you never he wouldn't you could never say like no i don't believe that or whatever and would just let people you know i remember someone would call in and be like i had an experience with a vampire last night. Yeah. He, he was there in my kitchen when I, you know, that kind of stuff. And he talked to experts. Break and enter by a vampire.

Yeah. I really remember this one story about a vampire. Which would never happen because they need to be invited in. They cannot just break and enter into somebody's house. Oh my God. He's in my kitchen. The room that has the most garlic. There's so many holes in this story

yeah that one stuck with me because it kind of scared me as a kid like fuck man there's a vampire in this guy's house there's a vampire in the kitchen there's an abominable snowman when you talked about radio hosts having sunglasses i always think it's weird when they put pictures of the radio hosts on like billboards or sides of buses because who ordered that nobody if anything you want to never know you want to be kept when i was a kid i really wanted to know i was like am i listening to uh like handsome good-looking person or a nerd like i did really want to know but now yeah come on you

know you look them up on twitter yeah yeah it's you know it's when they advertise it specifically like here's you know hal roach and uh you're like boy they they suck they look yeah it's often like a bummer yeah i wouldn't listen to these people talk to me in person. The big guy in Toronto who did that exactly was Bob McCowan. He was a big sports radio host. I loved him as a kid and I still kept listening to him. And he had like ads. I don't know if they made it out there, but he'd have ads on TV and he always had his iconic sunglasses on. His radio show became a TV broadcast

of his radio show. Oh, that guy. I know that guy. Yeah. And in the ads he, you know, it'd be like da-na-na-na-na. And he'd be like Yeah. So apparently a lot of people hate me. Da-na-na-na-na. I'd invite them

to come fill up the Sky Dome, but I don't think there's enough seats i loved him oh man you know what he was on for years and years and then they let him go i think because he was like a relic from the past he made so much money and i guess you don't make as much money in radio anymore and then i read this feature on him in the paper and he he got divorced and he had like a 10 million dollar house somehow he was having to sell and i don't know wow yeah yeah i remember the guy in calgary the big guy in town was jerry forbes and jerry forbes apparently like part of the contract that he had is they bought him a house.

Oh, nice, Jerry. Yeah. I didn't say that it was a good house, but it definitely did. It may not even have a plot of land under it. He had bad credit. He needed them to co-sign. Yeah. My co-signer is CJ92, the Station of the Rocks.

designer is cj92 the station that rocks i um have so my phone like sometimes i just need to buy stuff off of itunes just to put in an audio thing i'm working on or whatever and for some reason i needed bad to the bone by george thoroughgood and but then like it when i get in my car and the bluetooth syncs with it it would always be that so like i would get into my car and as soon as my car starts up it's a banana it's a good song to start a car too because it really is yeah it's also good if you're walking in a bar kind of song and then all the waiters and waitresses drop their whole thing of drinks because you're such a badass that kind of thing yeah and the head nurse speaks up and tells you to leave that baby alone

it's bad to the bone what were all the other nurses doing uh that's a good question um do you think when they made bad to the bone that that seemed like a cool expression because it doesn't really anymore yeah that's true yeah it did absolutely seem cool and i maybe disagree with you that it's not cool anymore so if you were if you were in a tussle with a guy in a bar and the guy's like i'm gonna kick your ass you'd say hey i'm bad to the bone friend sir you do not want to mess with me i'm i look bad on the outside and uh let me tell you it's not skin deep i am bad all the way to the bone yeah there's nothing there's no surgery that can cure me it's in the bones but like uh if he steps towards me i'll say because i also have a stutter

uh yeah i've got a lot of medical conditions um and then there's a saxophone solo is there a saxophone solo in it i feel like there is i never make it that far i mean either they know the first the opening riff um is there song james that you thought was so cool when you were a kid and then upon hearing it as an adult you were like jesus christ oh yeah oh there's gotta be well you know dave and i are both uh weezer uh we know a lot about weezer so we do whenever weezer does something oh yeah they were number one on my text each other yes they were number one on your spotify yeah i was i was embarrassed because i liked the the album okay human and i listened to it a bunch uh right i was in the top 0.5 percent of weezer listeners um i don't doubt it

um but you know i think at that time i liked i think i liked pop punk you know around that time and i really find that genre i'll still you know love yeah yeah but yeah that genre i don't think aged very well at all i'm trying to remember an example like politically it didn't age well no just it sounds really lame now yeah i could see although you know what i'll break out some sum 41 any given day to cheer myself up you know sure that's a fun that's a fun one to listen to when you're yeah when you're feeling a bit old uh down in the drums i uh i cannot recommend that or you know what sometimes i'll listen to some blink 182 sure some of the vintage stuff i still like them too yeah but yeah every music that you listen to like i i really like music

that was the swing music like it was popular in the mid 90s early 90s so funny that was a really short-lived uh very specific thing very specific thing like a weird the movie swingers was about it and that was kind of it that was the movie about the movie swingers wasn't that was about it. And that was kind of it. That was the movie about it. The movie Swingers wasn't that much about it. But didn't he, didn't they hang out in like swinger bars where everybody's wearing like these crazy outfits and drinking martinis? I only saw it once, but I remember at the end being like, oh, that's why it's Swingers. Because they swing dance once. But it was weird. It kind of came out of nowhere and it was the thing that people were doing and

then it's like we all pretended it never happened yeah oh it was very strange but you know what i remember being at a like um a bunch of high schools would send would make plays you know and send them to like a festival like a regional festival festival. Right. And I'm like, okay, I'm good. You know, I'm going to be a hotshot here. And then I wasn't because there was some taller, handsome guy from another school. And he was funny. And then there was like a party after, you know, we're in high school. And he was a swing guy. Oh, shit.

And he was dancing with girls, spinning them around. They loved him. Oh, shit. He could take his hat off in an interesting way. Oh, probably. Spin it over his hand. What did he grow? I feel like the story ends with him becoming like a celebrity.

No, I don't know. I actually. Oh, okay. You lost touch with this guy you only saw one time? No, probably never spoke to him. And honestly, I hope I'm doing better than him. Well, obviously you're hoping you're doing yeah that oh man does that suck when somebody just comes in at schools the whole

bunch yeah uh well check this out so he could dance with girls he could swing dance with girls did the girls also need to know how to swing dance or is it just like if this guy's tall and handsome enough he could do it or he could just like impart his wisdom through his fingers yeah it felt like he was peacocking show like he's i don't even i think it was more him just like absolutely taking the lead there weren't sort of other teenage girls being you know knowing all the moves he was just going for it yeah yeah he sounds like he's so money yeah he is so funny he was but i'm telling you when he got on the dance floor was like forget it no girls are like it's over he won But he could only dance to swing music, I'm assuming. He couldn't put on... If they put on some...

Yeah, some New Jack Swain. You'd school him. You know what's a song that... I'm going to say aged well, and I wouldn't have guessed. Break Stuff by Limp Bizkit. Yes. Give it a listen when you're really pumped up one day you know what if we have any listeners

out there that are kids it's the best song it's the best song for being a kid cause that's what kids want to do when they're upset yeah yeah and it's kind of like uh it's all about the he said she said bullshit yeah is that that song? Pauly Shore is in the video

Jonathan Davis from Korn is in the video. Yes, it's one of those videos with all celebrity. Jonathan Rhys-Davies from the Lord of the Rings is in the video. Yeah, yeah. Eminem is in the video. That was a surprising nod towards them that he would appear in the video. Yeah, you're right. You know like those videos?

There's one, Nickelback has one And Ghostbusters was one Where there's just like assorted celebrities Singing along with the song Yeah That's a good genre of music video I forgot about that Nickelback George Michael, Faith

Yeah well Or Freedom Freedom that's what I meant freedom excuse me um but yeah that was all supermodels right yeah yeah i guess they were pretty good looking yeah yeah there were like sevens and eights yeah but you know nobody i'd swing dance with but still you know come on put on a song by the squirrel nut zippers honk honk scoop doop doop doop honk honk

did you guys Betty Boop is here she's a 10 out of 10 oh yeah I make it like boop bap boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop those are the lyrics yeah those are the lyrics um uh have you guys talked about the kid rock video and song? Oh, shit. Is that one where...

Have you watched it? No, we're leaving that for you. Okay, Mylane, you know I'm a big Kid Rock guy. Big Rock head. It's worth watching. What was it about again? It was a couple weeks ago. It's classic Kid Rock.

You know, he's like, I'm Kid Rock. Ba-ba-da-ba-da-bop. Like all that sort of stuff which is and uh there's a canadian shout out to his canucks up here uh rock singer who i had never heard of who sings the hook of the song and it's something like ain't nobody gonna tell me how to live and it does get stuck in your head i'll tell you flat out yeah you notice that i'm making earworm for sure oh yeah we're still singing ball with the ball these years later and uh the one where he rips off uh uh warren's eve on he sings about michigan

oh yeah with uh is that the one with what's her face oh no that's a different one with cheryl crowe yeah yeah that was i put your picture away yeah warren zeevon was also the leonard skinner yes yeah two two levels of borrowing remember the song um cowboy that was a real borderline weird owl ish song because they had the fake like harpsichord like a cowboy interlude yeah and did he did he was that the one that he can smell a pig from a mile away yeah yeah and that's the one where he wants to um boy uh something about the sheriff he wants to paint his town red and paint his wife white. Yes. Nice. Very

disrespectful. You think he means. To the sheriff and his wife. Yeah, I guess he means jizz, I guess. Yeah, I mean that's my educated guess. Yeah, unless she's in a casket and you're painting the casket white, which is also sure, which is bad... Sure, which is bad, too. Yeah, that is pretty bad. Who asked you to do that, kid? Also,

is that juice, too? That's a pretty bad thing to do at a funeral. Yeah, that's true. But I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral, so you know what I know about it. But I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral, so you know what I know about it.

Dave, what's going on with you, man? Not much. Here he is. Not much. Here's what's going on with me. A few weeks ago, we were talking about the chocolate bar Eat More. Yes. Kind of a molasses-y. Yeah, it's not a chocolate bar it's a candy bar i guess yeah do

you know this bar uh james yes i'm googling it i remember the wrapper but i don't think i ever ate one yeah that's why i thought i would eat one because we were talking about it i'd never had it and it is um i'm surprised you could find it i don't think i've seen it in they were selling it at the post office oh that's not all right that tracks um no uh they were selling it at the store it was but it was like front and center at the store it was like a right underneath the uh the cashier was like the cashier was wearing a shirt saying ask me about eat more yeah so i got one of these things. It's just peanut chunks that are attached to each other with some kind of caramel. Not caramel. Toffee, maybe.

But it turns out not a sweet toffee. It's really just sticky toffee to keep the peanuts together. And it's just a peanut delivery mechanism. This might be a precursor to like a cliff bar so they didn't think oh you know we've got this stuff to keep the peanuts together should we make that taste good yeah that didn't cross their minds just use it to to hold the peanuts we just need some kind of glue that's not going to kill people huh somebody from 3m found out about it and i was like this could be this could be a candy bar We just need some kind of glue that's not going to kill people.

Somebody from 3M found out about it and was like, this could be a candy bar. Yeah. We accidentally invented Post-it notes. So I recommend everyone go out and try one chocolate bar that you never wanted before. Yeah. Oh, that's good. I love that i think for me the one that i've never wanted and still don't want is the uh coconut one bounty is that what it's called oh yeah oh yeah

i think that has nuts too whoo off the hook yeah what is one that you would have james like something that you're like i don't want it but you'll be willing to try. Ooh, that's a great question. I mean, this might be a cliched answer, but... Eat more. What are those chocolate, you know those little yellow boxes? The cherry blossom? Yeah. I mean, I think this is well-trodden territory, but it's the only thing that came to mind.

But the cherry blossom looks like a Yeah the photograph they use For it is too real Yeah it's too real it looks like a head wound It's a It's like a brain that's been smacked against the concrete But like I as a kid The idea of like a maraschino cherry

Was disgusting to me Yeah I loved fresh cherries Our neighbors had a cherry tree but we i loved fresh cherries we had a chair our neighbors had a cherry tree but that we would steal their chairs and um but like any like jarred cherry seemed so gross to me and now i love them yeah i loved them as a kid put them in shirley temple everybody went nuts for them because it was so sweet it was insanely sweet it was sweeter than like a chocolate bar would be it was just like so sugary but i bet you i would eat one of those blossoms oh i wouldn't eat one of those blossoms yeah maybe

we'll do that i'm curious what's been keeping them around and like they don't even have to update their branding or find a new picture or a new font yeah oh you know something going on that always comes around and somehow is like the real warrior that's made it through is Toffifee or Toffifee Toffifee they somehow like every year they advertise

a Christmas one they're like in the same aisle as Turtles and Ferrero Rochers I'm so excited to just mow down some Ferrero Rochers. Ferrero Rochers. Oh, I'm so excited to just mow down some Ferrero's. What's your guys read on Toblerone? Because I love white chocolate.

I love chocolate. I don't like Toblerone. The nougat. Is there white chocolate in it? I've had a white chocolate Toblerone. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's got nuts in it,

so I can never have. Does it? Yeah, I think so. that's why i've never had it is because uh i don't know if it does i don't want to mislead you but i not yeah i'm not sure it does either there's new time yeah there was a time in my life where i all it's all i wanted because it the weird triangle box you seemingly could only get it in a duty-free store yeah that's right yeah and it was 14 but you didn't you saved all that money on duty and then that's right uh eventually they they became available in other places and it was yeah it's not very good yeah it was the and it kind of you do the triangle hurts it's hard to eat how do you eat. How do you snap it off? Do you snap it with your mouth?

I mean, do you know what I mean about the nougat? Part of the nougat is almond. So there you go. Yeah. So you can't eat nuts, Graham? Can't eat nuts. Can't and won't. I'm not afraid to take a stand.

Some people can't and will. Oh, sure. They're a minority, but we all know about them in the nut community. They're kind of like the Criss Angel to our community. It's people who eat the nuts that know they're allergic. They suck. We hate them. They're just putting on a big show.

That's all they're into. Drama queens. I guess I could get really sick. Oh, well. Oh, he's doing it again. He's going to ruin the party. So you ate more. I was going to say.

I didn't eat more. The other thing that's going on is I was talking to my seven-year-old, Margo, and she has a friend named Abby, which is my wife's name. year old margo uh and she has a friend named abby which is my wife's name and i was i we were talking about i was saying oh it's so weird that you have a friend with your mom's name because when i was a kid like none of the names of my friends were the names of my parents like i didn't know any janes i didn't know any dons and then i was like thinking out loud. I was like, I wonder if people stopped naming their kids Donald because of Donald Duck. Interesting. And then later, without any ability to see into the future, other Donalds. Yes.

But then Margo said, oh, or McDonald's. And I was like, well, that's not the same thing. I feel like I'm the only one having the conversation here. So we go to McDonald's sometimes. McDonald's has changed their branding quite a bit. And I was telling Margo, oh, did you know that the mascot for McDonald's used to be this clown named Ronald McDonald? And she did a spit take. She thought I was joking.

She thought that was the funniest thing in the world. It was pretty funny. Creepy. And really out there. Like he was all over the damn restaurants. I didn't even show her a picture. I was just, just the name itself.

She thought it was the most incredible thing she'd ever heard. Wait until she, wait until she learns about the Hamburglar. Send her for a loop. Yeah. I, uh, cause when,

yeah, when I was a kid, it was not only was he everywhere, they had cookies with their faces. Oh yeah. Yeah. There was like a train also. Maybe you could go on some sort of,

there was, yeah, there was, and there was a whole town of them. There was a McDonald land. Yeah there was a mcdonald land yeah that's right i'm surprised with all the retros you know um nostalgia stuff they do these days that no one has hasn't tried to make a mcdonald's character show or cartoon that's interesting yeah apparently they got sued very successfully by a tv show called HR Puff and Stuff.

They were like, they just ripped off our whole thing. And they won. They won a big payday from McDonald's. And then McDonald's went by and spilled hot coffee on their crotches. And then they lost that lawsuit too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you've seen the documentary about that, right? About that case? It's fascinating James, you seen Hot Coffee? No I know, I remember that was like a news story at the time In like the 90s

Or a Jay Leno monologue joke about A woman is suing, you know Do the voice A woman, you hear about this? Excuse me. Oh, you hear about this? A woman's suing McDonald's for $9 million. Yeah. Yeah, apparently it wasn't that the coffee burned

or it was that just how bad the food was. That was really well done. That was really good. That was really good. It put me there it had an ending yeah yeah thank you i mean i i don't think it's really much of an impression but you know no but the whole the overall feel of it was oh thank you yeah yeah yeah um yeah and like

uh it's just one of those stories where everybody thinks it went one way but it went another anyways mcdonald land rules and yeah but it did make me think like oh are there gonna be kids with our names like or is every is every boy just liam now and and there's no more daves because i haven't seen any young daves you know it's funny when you said your dad's name is don i feel like i'd be stunned to meet a don i love the name but i would i would be like oh your name's don yeah don or d-a-w-n for real no oh why did i say for real yeah don's unusual ron's unusual uh ronnie if you ever meet an adult named ronnie that's that's pretty sensational there were there were johns for a long time biggest name ever yeah that was my dad's name so yeah i met tons of johns as far as i know i'd still name a kid john um yeah that's a it's a good name solid yeah you know that's what i would name uh someone uh

hiring a sex worker excellent well i i'm intending my kid does do that so good good yeah well sex work is work yeah um the uh boy yeah there's's probably still James's and Graham's. There are. I don't know. I don't think, I don't see any little boys named Dave. I'm going to keep an ear out for sure. Cause, uh, I don't know that many kids and, uh, but the ones that I do know, none of them are named Dave. So yeah, it might be onto something. It might be onto something.

Um, are there a lot of Margo's out there? Probably not a lot of poppies is my guess there's a poppy has another poppy in her class what the hell oh that's yeah so they're they're rivals yeah yeah that's true that's how it goes in school yeah enemies for life yeah she's poppy s and then the other poppy is whatever K. Yeah, whatever her last initial is. I know what it is, but I don't want to say it, because she deserves her privacy. Yeah, that's right. She's taking off time to be with her family, so just relax, everybody.

What's going on with you, Graham? Well, first and foremost, let me say, Daveave shumka a name that you won't hear around uh young people these days went out of his way to warn me about uh an impending street cleaning uh and to move my car and i hadn't even been i hadn't even seen the car that day so i had no idea they put up these signs but dave texted me and said hey move your car because there's street cleaning which was an amazing thing to do because otherwise i guess they just take your car which is well i think what they do is they because there's so many people who don't move their cars they just the street cleaner goes with a uh a tow truck and the tow truck just moves them along the street and moves them like

out of the way yeah that's what i read but like doesn't there's too many cars to take to an impound lot i i don't even think they get ticketed you get ticketed a hundred bucks but if you pay it right away it's 60 is that which is crazy because what if you were away on holiday like you would have no chance to even were you yeah were you parked in a in a like do you have street parking that you paid for or was it sort of a no it's a free free street parking but like i was parked on the other side of the road the signs the day before the street cleaner come yeah it says get out of here by seven in the morning and or you're dead. It's got a cartoon doing the throat slit motion.

But yeah, I wouldn't have known, and I was on the other side the night before because they said it was clean, and I switched over to the other side. But if Dave hadn't texted me, mine would have been towed to some other place somewhere that I would have to find it.

And then there'd be a little note on the window saying, think again, buddy. You're going to. Yeah. So we get so many leaves on my street and the street, they wait until the last possible minute to send the street sweeper out. It only comes once a year. out it only comes once a year so if like uh they they do it at the very end of november usually after all the leaves have already turned to mush in the street and clogged up all the storm drains and then this year uh like a construction a street construction crew was attaching as like hooking up the sewer to a house that's under construction the day that they were going to

street sweep and so now we missed our window and now we're just like stuck with these leaves all year because they were like ah we're not going to go back yeah this was your day and you you as a neighborhood have decided that sewage is more of a priority i mean to be fair it is that's true yeah that's true uh a shout out to the men and women out there That deal with sewage I got a bone to pick with you Dave Okay here bring it on I'm bad to the bone

What's the big problem with all these leaves I mean so there's a bunch of leaves Well they're gross They're gross They are really gross You turn into a weird mush All the cars kind of get like uh are just like uh covered in leaf mush yeah and the storm drains get clogged with this

slime and we we have flooding and stuff so i mean i guess that's the bone you wanted to pick well i thought i explained i never thought about that i never thought that they get gross they do get gross in the same way that in oh yeah you guys had that flooding that's right well yeah we were lucky enough to be uh spared it but yeah surrounding areas but like that in la they have signs that say street sweeping happening like every week oh yeah i don't know why they get it all the time and we get it one day a year. Cause there's so many, uh, wannabe actors lying in the gutters,

but staring at the stars. Oh, that's true. Um, so yeah, I thank you a million times over for that. You're welcome. Heads up.

And then the other thing is I've, this has been a whole year in the making i cracked a tooth last christmas oh yeah and like it sucks and then they like had to do a root canal and then they were like we're gonna put a temporary cap on it that broke so they put another temporary cap on it and all the while they were making a tooth to a cap crown whatever and they ever do a zoot canal they did a zoot canal and uh i could barely keep uh keep awake i wanted to hear the cherry pop and daddy song but they're like listen to this and hum backwards 10 seconds and then Throw back a bottle of beer.

I had that album, too. I definitely had that album. The Cherry Pop Daddies one. Well, yeah, like, why was I into it? That was not even a thing I could do. I couldn't get into bars to swing dance. I think it was that Gap commercial really, really did me. Oh, yeah, the cockies. The cockies.

That's right. It was big. But yeah. So I finally, finally, finally, finally got my crown. And they gave me a choice. They said you could get zirconium or something that was white to match your tooth. Or you could get a gold tooth. And I was like, absolutely gold tooth all the way.

Cheaper than a zirconia one and i'm obsessed with it i love it so much and so you it's in the back yeah back of your mouth oh that's cool wow yeah i love it what do you mean you're obsessed with it like you look at it or your tongue i look at it and i tongue it and i think about putting another one in somewhere on my mouth it's fantastic your teeth yeah i can't believe it's cheaper i would have 100 guessed it was like getting a vanity vanity license plate you know you really gotta go out of your way no it's cheaper because who wants to you know everybody wants their teeth to just look like normal teeth but man oh man i love it i i can't

say enough good things about having a gold tooth it It rules. My only fear would be like, is it strong, stronger than a tooth? Like if you bit your tongue or something, would it? Oh, like, yeah, like it's too strong.

Yeah. When you, would you find when you're eating food that the food just gets pulverized? Uh, yeah, the food, it's too, too good at chewing.

And, uh, and it keeps gleaming in the sun. I keep blinding people. Yeah, planes are crashing. You smile. If you're laughing at the beach, planes are like. Yeah, exactly.

But yeah, it's awesome. I can't recommend Gold Tooth enough. Also, a little fun thing for if i get cremated there'll be a little bit of a little bit of gold left for whoever yeah that up what um when you if you could have any other body part be gold and i'm looking at you gold member what would you have i think i'd have a golden eyeball. Just one, one golden eyeball. God,

could you see out of it in this scenario or it doesn't matter. I just would want one. I would want like clearly a gold, uh, gold eyeball is all gold. Just one gold ball. Yeah. One gold ball.

And then maybe says the, like, uh, the weight of it or whatever. Yeah. Gold bars sometimes have, uh, not that I've seen a gold bar, because I haven't. I feel like

my wedding ring had a stamp there. Huh. It said. It's some carrot. What am I at? 14? 18? I can't remember. 24 is the top, right? I don't know. Yeah.

James, do you own anything gold? Well, maybe a new trend rather than gold teeth how about gold lips oh gold lips keep the teeth white you get the lips gold you yeah your teeth look even whiter yeah imagine two um people would be so interested in kissing you they would totally want to kiss you you could do different types of kisses you could do like a really cold kiss or a really really warm because now i can only do one kind of kiss yeah that's true i just got room temperature kiss which is not body temperature magnet you could put a magnet on your lip you know you could yeah exactly you could try out different fake jewelry you could put uh you, I think like if you left a smooch mark, yours would be very distinctive, it being gold. So all around, I think this works.

I think this slaps the more I think about it. Dave, what would you do gold? Boy, it's tough. I already, like my feet are just covered with gold bond medicated powder. Um, if you put enough of that together and boil it down, there are flakes of gold in it. Yeah.

Oh, you know what? I would get, Oh yeah. Have you ever had gold schlager? Yeah. Yeah. The,

the like cinnamon drink with flecks of gold in it. Yeah. No, it's kind of like uh like bubble tea for the rich i always think it's so stupid you ever see those those things on uh on the internet or whatever where it's like oh my god a ten thousand dollar hamburger and then you go what on earth could be in that and then you look okay it's a fancy bun okay oh weigu beef okay all right oh you know pate is on it all right oh and then nine thousand nine hundred dollars worth of edible gold it's like give me a fucking break this isn't a ten thousand dollar burger oh man that's good that's so true every time yeah yeah i definitely like uh one year i went to a fundraiser dinner for the mayor because i helped like write uh jokes like roast jokes

for his co-workers and there the dessert had like gold like a swirl of gold on top of it i couldn't i couldn't believe it i couldn't believe that that was the thing that you could get is just like the sliver of gold just on your i'm sure it doesn't taste good your tax dollars at work well graham how does it taste is your does it taste any different rad tastes good yeah feels amazing with the tongue if you take some metal in your mouth you're just bleeding yes that's right and uh if you smell smoke you're having a stroke so don't listen to the rest of this podcast head to the hospital um do you guys want to move on to some overheards yeah sure hey there beautiful people i'm trevelle Anderson. And I'm Jared Hill. We are the hosts of Fanti, the show where we have complex and complicated conversations

about the gray areas in our lives. The things that we really, really love sometimes, but also have some problematic feelings about. Yes, we get into it all. You want to know our thoughts about Nicki Minaj and all her foolishness? We got you. You want to know our thoughts about Nicki Minaj and all her foolishness? We got you. You want to know our thoughts about gentrification and perhaps some positive? Question mark? Uh-oh.

Aspects of gentrification? We get into that, too. Every single Thursday, you can check us out at MaximumFun.org. Listen, you know you want it, honey, so come on and get it. Period. Period. Overheard. Overheard's a segment in which if you can and are willing to hear something and then report it somewhere, report it to us.

And we always like to start with the guest. James, do you have an overheard or overseen? It was a bit of a both. Okay. I did see and hear it i almost yeah i almost went with something that happened to me on the plane where um but a guy was speaking to me and the guy next to me so that's not an overheard that's a direct talk that's a direct speaking that's fine it's all fine i have a i have a i think i have a better one that was a true overheard fine so should i talk about it more about my thought process for another few minutes

or okay yes tell me i want to go through this with you so i was at a restaurant with my girlfriend in mexico city uh-huh and uh there were three kind of bro guys seemingly bro kind of guys next to him hermanos yeah hermanos thank you and like i said i i can pick up on spanish a little bit i'm not great but the overall impression was it really seemed like there was a guy there and his two buddies were like you know speaking in spanish like what's up you know what's the problem you know we're here to support you that was just the vibe with speaking in spanish and then what i did over here when the guy was seemed to be prompted like what's going on the guy at the table goes uh which means a woman and the guys are like okay kind of that sort of thing and then the guy goes

uh-huh one chica so i think what was happening was you know the guy's like you know guys thanks for meeting me i got a tough situation here what's it about man a woman yep a chick that's my interpretation yeah and your spanish is as good as anybody's they were like marius what's wrong with you today you look as if you've seen a ghost. Some wine and say what's going on. And then you're like, or Marius is like, a ghost you say? A ghost maybe? She was just like a ghost to me. One minute there and she was gone.

The hell is this? Bah, bah. I am a gog. I am a ghast. Is Marius in love at last i have never seen him ooh and ah we talk of battles to be won and he is here like don juan it is better than an opera but in spanish well what the hell is that? That great song.

Was that Bare Naked Ladies? Yeah, it was Bare Naked Ladies. I did the, now you do the rap part. Was that Les Mis? That's Les Mis, babe. Yeah, Dave knows his Les Mis. Forward, backwards. Dave, do you have an overheard?

Yeah. This is also about a chick, un chica, mi chico latino. What? So I was walking on 4th Avenue in Vancouver, walking past Urban Outfitters,

and I'll just wait for the applause. Oh, yes. And there were two young people, people in their early 30s, which I call young people. And there was a guy and a girl. And the guy was talking to the girl. And they were about to get into a, uh,

like a car share. And, uh, I just heard, just as I'm walking past, I hear him say, because obviously I'm like, I need to fuck her.

And she's like, I need to fuck him. What a, what an arrogant man. Yeah. She might not have been thinking that buddy. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, did been thinking that, buddy. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, did she say that? Yeah. Yeah. Obviously, she's like, I want to fuck Tony, me. Of course. Of course. The thing I hear a million times a week. Absolutely.

Yeah. And Urban Outfitters is the right place to hear that kind of. Oh, yeah. People be fucking there. Oh, yeah. People will be fucking there. Oh, absolutely. Are you kidding me? I'm trying... Now I'm desperately trying to think of a thing Urban Outfitters would sell.

I mean, they know shirts. Yeah, they definitely have shirts. But, like, what are they... Like a weird... Probably, like, a, you know, a Bluetooth speaker. Yes, a Bluetooth speaker. Yeah, that's shaped like a hamburger or something like that. Maybe a funny...

Like a retro lunchbox? Yeah, maybe Bluetooth figure that's shaped like a hamburger or something like that. Maybe a retro lunchbox? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, and they would have shirts that are... You know, you see young people wearing a Sepultura shirt. You know what I mean? It's just a cool design, which it is. It's a cool design. Yeah.

Boy, I... Around the time Vancouver finallyouver finally got urban outfitters when i was like 30 i was too old to go to urban yeah like i didn't think i was too old i was less like i just i'm just getting a pair of vans they're not young or old no but you know like being in here makes me feel very old like walking There was one in the mall that I went into once that maybe it was forever 21 or something like that. And, and it was dark. It was like a nightclub in there.

And, uh, I went in and just went like to, like, I'm like, either you have to pretend that you have a kid that you're shopping for at home or you got to get the fuck out of there as fast as possible. Yeah. What was it?

Uh, what's the store? It was the Abercrombie and and fitch i think or hollister they were always very dark yeah because you wanted to know what it looked like at the club you know and they reeked of perfume or cologne like they sprayed whatever their you can't buy normal jeans at those places. They're all frayed intentionally. Yeah.

If you want normal jeans, you want to go with Costco's house brand. Yeah, Marks and Warehouse, Kirkland. Marks and Warehouse rules. I love it because you can just go and try on so many steel-toed shoes and they can't tell you not to. It's fun i like it you got a plaid shirt there it's great yeah um

my overseen please is uh now i almost never read any type of review ever because it's never fun um but i love yourself what's never fun of yourself? yeah of anything I'm involved with I don't like to see but I was the other day I was thinking there's Apple Music now but I still have iTunes on my computer and it still works so I don't know if iTunes

like exists inside of Apple Music or how the fuck it works but I don't know how to get to Apple Music I only know iTunes so then I went and I was like, oh, you know, I'll look at a couple of reviews of the podcast. Oh no, I haven't done this in years. No, there was just one that was like a bad one,

but it was just a two word review. And it said geezers only. That's really harsh this is guy 15 geezers only they saw me walking by urban outfit yeah that's right and like that's that's a show where kids or you know a story that kids feel awkward being in is geezers yeah i still think of if you have like a podcast you must be kind of young because it's new you know like that's crazy to me that they're like oh that's for an old person podcast yeah that's an old geezers i guess man i'm so tempted to call my uh comedy album geezers only because it's so funny i haven't been able to stop thinking about it um this is this is good i'm feel sad why dave we're a couple of geezers i don't like i don't

like reading bad reviews i don't like having them read to me i'm sorry i just thought it was so funny uh have you uh james have you watched the beatles documentary at all no i keep meaning to but it's good right it's fun yeah but there's good, right? It's fun to watch. Yeah, but there's times when they're just like reading their own press, and it's like, they're like, oh, we're doing it in a funny voice, so none of these words about us hurt. Yeah. They look like, George is like, please don't read about me punching a photographer.

Yeah, well, you know what? It's one of the very rare bad reviews that our podcast has got. And you know what? Out there, if you're interested, leave a review. And if you want to leave a title that will make us laugh, geezers only. Five stars, geezers only. I can understand leaving like a bad Yelp review or restaurant you ate in

or something, I guess. But it is interesting to leave a bad podcast review review or restaurant you ate in or something i guess but it it is interesting to leave a bad podcast review because i think if i didn't like a podcast i just i wouldn't listen to just move on yeah i wouldn't go to the trouble yeah yeah no it's true and it was it's the uh mature not um forever 21 response and uh but yeah man i just i haven't heard that word for probably 20 years i i like now i associate that word with british it's whatever the british slang is and i'm not sure that's even what this maybe he was talking about that because like yeah like a geyser why would a young person only if you're a geyser you'll love this couple of geysers that's pretty good yeah i don't

know what it means it doesn't mean in in our parlance uh it means old people oh in england it's kind of cool it's like you're a mate i think it's like you're kind of like a troublemaker you know he's a geyser yeah so that's probably what he meant. Geysers only. Chavs only. Because kids wouldn't know the phrase geysers. That didn't trickle down, did it? Does Margo know geysers? Yeah. She's doing a geyser unit in science.

Now, we also have overheards that have been sent in to us by email. If you want to send one in to us, send it to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one from a McDonald's. Couldn't be more on message than being at a McDonald's. I was just at a McDonald's. This is from Markina R. I was at a McDonald's, and I heard a man order a bacon McDouble with lettuce and a wrap. The clerk thought about it for a minute and then asked him if he still wanted the bun inside the wrap.

So first day, this is my first day. I'm not sure what it has to do with the bun. I thought she was just asking him. And also give me a, you know, spit a verse about a bacon mcdouble um yeah is uh would either of you ever get a wrap from mcdonald's probably not right it's almost like if you're there it's probably not even that much better for you than mcchicken or i mean maybe it is i don't know but no definitely what's the best thing for you at mcdonald's like if you were like i actually once read a read something about like the best and

worst things for you at mcdonald's i don't know if they're still accurate but the best were like mcnuggets oh i think it was like mcnuggets filet of fish and like honestly maybe i don't know if mcchicken was in there but that kind of stuff i feel like i would get like an egg mcmuffin uh you can get it without meat and you just you're getting just egg yeah yeah and then i would take that home whip it into some nog it's a nog starter you're like i just need it yeah yeah with the mother um interestingly some of the worst things at mcdonald's at least according to this thing from the internet i read years ago were some of the salads i guess because of the dressing oh um yeah yeah but i'm gonna get it on the side okay i'm still gonna eat it yeah you're just gonna do it like a shot after you eat your

your yeah i'm gonna make ranch nog they make kids like the old um happy meals there was cookies in there and there's no cookies anymore it's a slice of apple and a yogurt tube yeah it's weird it's the different it's just different time used to give cookies to kids all the time and they grow up we grew up great all of us are great and uh we lead the way for the next generations right right guys i feel like you're being sarcastic but i'm great yeah dave you're great everyone knows james you're also great and i warned you about the street sweeper yeah i said you're great yeah i know i just want uh i'm trying to like piece together why i'm great i'm gonna go over here now oh no james is going over there now it's a big fight going on oh okay i thought you meant you were going over there because we're getting too intimate.

Oh, no. That's what happens when you dine out at Desires. Bring your dad. Bring your dads. Dads only. You have to show a picture of your kids to get in the bar. Yeah. you have to show a picture of your kids to get into the bar.

That's what the, I want to start a, uh, hedonism, but geezers only hedonisms. Dad, check out our raisin bar. Uh,

here's a good, this ties in very well to this next word is it's about geezers this is from casey in arkansas uh back in october 2018 i was waiting for my doctor in the exam room and i imagine my surprise when there was an interactive screen in the room which usually just feature white seniors incorporating yoga into their lives but it popped up with this phrase netflix and chilling keep it healthy with these nutritious snacks and then the image is two people having like donkey style sex but like with some trail mix yeah and also like good supporting you know racks and stuff uh anyways it's the best the best when slang is used incorrectly it's so funny yeah um this last one comes from christine from here in vancouver

hi this is a halloween one so a little belated but uh it's it's fine it's gonna be great i was walking my friend's dog and passed by a mom and a very stoked kid dressed up as spider-man he shouted happy happy halloween at me and i asked if he was excited to go trick-or-treating to which he obviously replied yes i asked the mom if they were going to go to a different neighborhood as ours is in great area for it she said they were meeting up with friends in jericho i looked at the kid and asked are you going to web sling your way over there with much more enthusiasm he said no uber kids love uber that's what uh yeah it's what, who's the guy who invented Uber? Musk?

No. Who invented it? Some guy? Some random guy? I guess some guy. It's not Musk related, though. No. I just knew Musk had some kind of, he was into cars in a big way.

Yeah, he's a car guy. Gearhead. He's an absolute gearhead. Absolute mad lad. Legend. Legend. gearhead he's an absolute gearhead absolute mad lad legend legend fucking ledge this guy anyways i'm aching for a slash that's another in addition over that are written and we also accept your phone calls If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1, like these people have.

Hey, Damon Graves. It's Chris calling from Oshawa, Ontario, with an overheard. It was in a spirit Halloween looking for a pair of princess gloves. Two young ladies walked past me. I overheard one saying to the other, Yeah, yeah.

I took a test. I'm a Hufflepuff. Anyway, thanks very much. Love the show. So, like, there's a test that you have to, like, are you a, um, gonna say somebody from Sex and the City, but the only name I can think of is Sebastian.

So, Sebastian, are you a H of is Sebastian. So you're Sebastian? Are you a Hufflepuff? Are you a Samantha? They put a Q-tip up your nose. Yeah. Find out. It's like a PCR test. What's a PCR test?

Did you have to do a PCR test? I did. I did. Is it up the nose? I know. Luckily, it was just the one that goes up your nose But not too far Oh well

It was pretty good They came right to our Airbnb The nurse Oh nice In Mexico? Yeah Cool Yeah it was great

Q-tip one I got was They went in so far They went in too far For my liking And stayed there for a while They went in really far for me But I liked it Oh you're

weird yeah i was like good this is doing it right keep doing it another five minutes if you don't mind i heard this was going to be uncomfortable and it was but i liked it have you done it i've done a self test where you put it in your nose yourself and i'm like i'm not putting it far in i don't know if i did it right or not but i no i did the drive-through where they they do it to you i've only had one test because i was i was only sick once i'm not like you sniffling and snorkeling your way around the podcast i was worried i got this cold in mexico and i thought yeah what if this is cove i feel fine but what if this is covet i mean do i come home i home? I don't know. Yeah, what happens?

Yeah. No idea. To come back into Canada for like a day trip, you have to show, or it was that you used to have to show, now if you're less than 72 hours, you don't need to test, but you would have to show either a negative test or a positive test that was over two weeks ago but then you have like 90 days after that that you can travel freely you're like this is my

positive test i had covid i can travel as much as i want funny huh but like is there things still like you're only allowed across by land for three days or something is that yeah yeah i mean you can go as long as you want but you can go three days without a test without a test next phone call hey dave graham and probable guest uh this is a second hand overford uh but it was too good not to share. My friend's niece recently was trying to get out of going to school and said she didn't want to go. And when her mom asked her why

not, her response was learning makes me sweat. If you're doing it right, you should sweat once a day, mostly while thinking. Do you know, like, do you ever have a habit when you're really thinking like sticking out your tongue or chewing on a pencil real hard or sweating

because you're trying to learn yeah i may just make a dumb face just make it like just stare off into this distance kind of face yeah i bite my bite my face your face. What about you, James? What's your thinking motion? I rub my long eyebrow hairs. Nice. I do that. Do like a Gandalf or something like that. Is Gandalf famous for his eyebrows? You know that song, Girl, I'm Gonna Make You Sweat?

Yeah. Was that about school? Yeah, it was about learning. Yeah, it was originally called Pupil, I'm Gonna Make you sweat but they yeah i thought he didn't have a crossover and there was i think cnc music factory had a different had the song gonna make you sweat gonna make you sweat till you bleed is that dope enough indeed uh i was thinking it's also about learning girl i'm gonna make you sweat is that maxi priest well i'm like that good but till you can't sweat no more yep i don't know any songs about sweat i mean i know the ones you guys said but now i'm trying to think yeah yeah you marky mark had i'm gonna get mine so get yours let's wait coming at

your paws that's all right it was a very sweaty time the early 90s yeah yeah and then nelly definitely dipped his toe in it with too hot in here that that was kind of like a callback yeah yeah it's very hot so take it off your clothes i mean also you're probably sweating but he never did he mention that yeah i don't know i don't know remember him saying, girl, your button's getting big. That's all I remember. I just remember him saying, I got a house with a pole in the basement. I'm just kidding like Jason, unless you're going to do it. Yeah, who's Jason? Jason Kidd.

Who's Jason Kidd? Basketball player. Is that true? Is that what the reference is? I think so. Because I thought it was Jason from Friday the 13th, and I was like, but he's not a guy who does jokes. Freddy, Freddy's the one you want for jokes. Yeah, I'm just kidding. Like, Freddy, I don't think you're going to do it.

All right, final phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham and beautiful guests. This is Sean from Richmond, Virginia. I was driving to work earlier today, and I was beside a car dealership. I was stopped at a stoplight, and there was a man in a cherry picker, and he must have hurt himself or something because the woman in the car in front of me yelled up to him, hey, are you okay? And the guy just yelled back, no, divorced i'm broke i'm up here and i hate mcdonald's well off i go oh man everything's going against me even this dumb restaurant's against me yeah um i mean mcdonald's is terrible but i love it yeah very hard to hate mcdonald's

it is and it isn't you know i mean like if you bring out the clown then i'm like you guys you old lugs you're fine and then you hear about them destroying the you know the amazon oh right right right that's that's them but then you know what they make a cheap cup of coffee so there you go it balances out again when they but then they pour it on your crotch i also think if you've gotten divorced maybe you gotta pretend that's fine you know like right i'm divorced which is fine it wasn't working out anyway you know yeah it was an amicable split and so it sounds like a bummer when you're ranting about how you're divorced though yeah it's um it's a thing like i have friends that are divorced and that

was like that was for so long that was just a thing adults did and now i'm an adult wow yeah i don't have any friends are divorced i know people they think they're my friends but once you get divorced uh-uh yeah they slip they slept on your couch for a while while they tried to find a place. It's a sin. Yeah, it's a sin. Oh, it's a sin, absolutely. On top of everything. Yeah, bye-bye. No friends with sinners.

Thank you. Take a hike, sinneritos. Which is when you're in Mexico and you have a cinnamon burrito. Good. Pretty good. Okay. mexico mexico and you have a cinnamon burrito good pretty good okay um that's it that's it for the show that's it it's over um james thank you so much for being our guest thank you for having me what a pleasure um and your your podcast you can get in all the places that you would get a podcast. That's right. Evil Men. It's me, Chris Locke, who is a hilarious, hilarious comedian.

Mike Belazzo, who, you know, is funny, I guess. Please check it out. It's a really funny, fun podcast. It is. It's a lot of fun. Yeah. You used to do a different podcast with Mike Belazzo.

I assume you don't do it anymore. Well, we kind of phased out. We used to do a different podcast with Mike Bolazzo. I assume you don't do it anymore. Well, we kind of phased out. We used to do a conceptual podcast, and we kind of learned with this one that if you do a podcast that's not conceptual and doesn't have a really confusing name and tends to do a lot better much quickly with much less effort. So we don't do the Landlord and Tenant Podmas really anymore, but we are having

a lot of fun doing evil men could you do an annual one like airfars would do like a new year's eve i i do like leaving it open to bringing it back you know and definitely airfars would be the ethos of yeah for sure like we try to capture that always had a tone for sure oh would that be a podcast nobody would listen to where you go through each episode of the air farce i'm just gonna yeah i used to watch it every week when i was a kid i didn't listen to it yeah yeah i was a double exposure man myself oh i remember those yeah yeah yeah as an air farce guy i was never sure about them I was the same for Air Force I didn't trust Air Force Holy shit

Although we had like an old Air Force tape Of like stuff from Before I was born And it was really funny Yeah I mean I think it was funny definitely At some point in time 40 years in I had a little trouble

Yeah it was tough to keep their game up not i mean look am i any better yes it is the one show that i could think of where like they lost cast members to death yeah geezers only and i think multiple uh we wish them the best you also have an album james yes yes oh i've been waiting for this all day um it's called get bent you can listen to it on spotify or wherever and yeah check it out too if you if you like funny stand-up and a guy that talks like a pirate yeah i like that yeah funny stand-up um and graham you have something that everyone needs to know about everybody needs to know that on December 17th to 18th,

I am doing a 24-hour long stand-up set to raise money for Little Mountain Gallery to find themselves a new home because it's a comedy community center that there's no other thing that exists like it anywhere. So we very much want to keep it going. So if you want, you can watch it online. You can donate online while you're watching.

Or you can buy tickets at StandUpFor24Hours.com. That starts at 8 p.m. 8 p.m. This Friday, the 18th. What's the web address to watch it online? That, StandUpFor24Hours.com. Oh, the one you said is the one? Okay.

Alright. That's exciting. Have you been preparing for all night? Yeah, I mean, my whole life. I'm ready. Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this.

Well, thank you very much James and thank you everybody out lifetime for a moment like this. Um, well, thank you very much, James. And thank you everybody out there for, uh, listening to the show. Uh, hopefully you can sleep with all those,

uh, visions of sugar plums dancing in your head. Um, and, uh, you know what? If so, I'm on back next week for another episode of stop by guys yourself.