Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 719 - The Listeners

Episode Date: December 28, 2021

Dave and Graham wrap up 2021 with a Q&A call-in show featuring a whole bunch of listeners.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka, and he's Graham Clark, and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 719 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. A very white, Christmassy, year-end extravaganza here on the podcast. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who likes it comfy and cozy. He likes it snowy and rosy. Mr. Dave Shupka. Thanks. Thanks for having me. Always a pleasure to be here on this special episode um uh there's uh you know uh i'm a comfy guy this is not a

christmas episode this is the week after christmas the last thing people want that's true you hear about christmas but you learned all your christmas lessons yeah you should quit your high-paying job in the city move to a small town make gingerbreads yeah i could get fall in with a small town uh militia and then join up with the ghostbusters that are now in a small town are they yeah as of this film it's all taking place in a small town. Is this film canon? Apparently. All the X-Busters are in it. And still, to this day, busting makes them feel good. Well, sure, that's sort of the biological imperative. How was your Christmas? Did the big man visit you? The big boss man from WWF?

Yeah, I was going to say Jeffrey Tambor. the big man visit you yeah which i mean uh the big boss man from wwf yeah i was gonna say jeffrey tambor yeah yeah the boss man came through the front door not down the chimney yeah he beat me with his nightstick what is that this year was he a was he meant to be a cop or like a prison guard i think he was a cop but i wouldn't i wouldn't put prison guard past his character you know i mean i think he was supposed to be a cop yeah and he's but he's like there's a fine line between him and bam bam bigelow oh bam bam bigelow he flouted the law yeah but like it's just that thin blue line uh yes that's right yeah and the uh the head full of tattoos that was at the time that having a head full of tattoos was, uh, sure. It was quite unique.

Um, but now, you know, you go to this, my banker's got a head full of tattoos. My banker's got several, uh, teardrop tattoos. Yeah. My, uh, the kids go to a pediatrician who's got, uh, you know, uh, one of those like, uh, piercings that goes under the skin and makes it look like they have little horns. And he's always saying like, not until she's 16 or 17 that she can get the horns. She can be a rhino like me. Goth slash rhino fans. So this, folks, we did this last year. This is our year-end call-in show where we let

the little people from Les Mis, Gavroche can call in. And we assembled a list of people who wanted to call. So many people wrote in asking to be on the show and it was not easy. No. I mean we just did a draw but used a random number generator. Yeah and we hope that whoever we picked is not going to bababooey us because if they do I'll get so mad or get so pissed if that

happens. There was a thing on, I feel like, Loveline. There was, like, with Adam Carolla and Dr. Drew, when people would call in with a fake call, they would try to string them along for a really long time. The fake call would. The fake call would try to string the people, the hosts for a long time. And then, like, you knew it was a fake call when eventually they said, oh, and they had a butthole the size of a mason jar.

Well, that's an important call too, you know, that's a separate call. Yes, certainly. Or is it just bragging? Do you know what I mean? Like, check out this, check out this thing. I can unscrew a main race jar with my butt um so we have uh we we've got uh i was supposed to choose 15 colors but i screwed up i chose 16 but you know what last year two people didn't show up so that's yeah yeah and

16 is the it's the sweetest number being it's the sweet 16. So we'll just have to live with it, you know what I mean? Yes, and so we've got some calls lined up. We'll do our best to get to everyone today. I mean, I don't know how we wouldn't. We have someone who's literally been, like, we only started this call 14 minutes ago. Someone joined the call an hour ago. And it's not even their turn to talk to us yet well they do you know they maybe they're doing their laundry or something that's true you know they can't hear us can they um do they know it's podcast after all i know that that's a

last week uh song sure people hate it is it a christmas song i feel like they know it's christmas oh yeah i guess is that a Christmas song? Yeah. That's a real head scratch. Well, Taylor Swift had that song last year that was like, we can leave the Christmas lights up till January. Nice, yeah. And then, but you know, she wouldn't be cool about it.

Well, and she also wouldn't be doing the taking down, I think. Yeah. One of her many servants that I assume she lives with. What if she didn't have any servants? What if she didn't have a maid or whatever? So after like a long concert, she comes home in the laundries just sitting around. She's like, well, I guess I'll do some of this and throw out whatever leftovers are in the fridge that I forgot about. Empty the kitty litter box because you know there's a cat somewhere.

Yeah, you know what her cats are named? No. Well, I think one of them is named Kitty Perry. That's pretty good. No, wait, that's Kitty Perry. No, her cat is named Detective Olivia Benson, or at least it was 10 years ago. Might be that now.

Anyway, I haven't really been following the cats lately, but we do have our first caller. And we're going to... Wait, which one is our first? I don't want to let in the person who's not... It's not their turn yet. Okay, I know who this is.

It's going to be a delicate balance. And here is our first caller, and they're joining. First script. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. It is me. How are you?

I'm doing very well. How are you guys? Oh, couldn't be better. Yeah. Is everything lining up for you, Dave? Is this all recording?

Oh yeah. Oh, it's lining up. You can hear me. I can hear you. Yeah, this is great. I mean,

I hope we do this 15 times of checking if everyone can hear each other. Hello. You're our first call of the day. No way. Okay. No way. All right. No way.

Your name is Peter. That is correct. You're calling us from? Just across the water in Victoria, British Columbia. Yeah. us from just across the water in victoria victoria yeah and you uh you're a scholarly person if those uh stacks of binders are behind you or any indication i'm a high school teacher ah see there we go clue number one yeah is it are you at school right now yes i am is it lunch hour it is yeah nice you can do whatever you want.

I put up a do not disturb sign. But if a kid comes in and they need guidance, bring them in and we'll guide them. Yeah. Okay. We'll tell them. Sure. I mean, I guess you're not. Kids are lining up at the guidance counselor at lunch usually.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's always one kid that spends his lunch with a teacher somewhere, right? Oh, far more than one. Really? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There's always one kid that spends his lunch with a teacher somewhere, right? Oh, far more than one. Really? Oh, man. I know there's always kids in the computer lab. This is the computer lab.

Oh, do not disturb. Yeah. Oh, man. Some kids have to go all this time without a computer. That's nuts. What do you teach, Peter? Computer science. Yes. The elements are coming together.

So it would be pretty embarrassing if your Zoom call didn't connect properly. Oh no, I only know the theoretical stuff. We have technicians who take care of the plugging in and the Wi-Fi and all that business. Yeah, a bunch of jerks, I say. Hey. Oh, sorry. What is theoretical about your computer science? How does that work?

Well, it's like math. When you did math in school and you asked the teacher, am I ever going to use this in life? And then it turns out you never use it in life because the math you use in real life is completely different from algebra or solving equations or something. And that's like how it is for my course. This is a computer science course to get kids good at writing computer science exams. Okay. Okay. Yeah.

What is that? And then when they actually go and get a job working for Microsoft or something, they teach them everything on the first day. Right. Right. Yeah. Microsoft is still the go-to company for getting a computer job. Good for them.

Well, it is for me because I have family who have worked there for decades. And now when I say that, I look at the kids' eyes and they think, Microsoft? Okay, Amazon. Do they say it? Right. They look at you and say, oh, you have family working at Microsoft. Hmm, you do look a bit like Clippy. Have you met Clippy?

Oh, I can only dream. Yeah, that's true. No other platform has had as popular a little character as Clippy is sort of like Siri. Yeah, but not. With a bod. Yeah. Well, congratulations on being a teacher. The most important job there is.

Do you have any questions or talents you'd like to share with us? I actually have two questions. One that's factual and one that's philosophical. So just in case the factual one you answer in five seconds, I can ask you the philosophical one. Okay. actual one you answer in five seconds i can ask you the philosophical one okay um i also well i also have talents but i was thinking i could solve a crossword puzzle in seven minutes but it doesn't monday or what i did i did the tuesday at seven minutes wow that's pretty good that'd be

great at a kid's talent show if some kid's talent was doing a crossword really fast. He has to put it on a projector so everybody can see. Well, I've been to the American Crossword Puzzle Championship and that happens. They have people on stage answering them in real time. And the audience were just sitting there, just agog. A-G-O-G, four letters.

There you go. Okay, here's a question for you. Okay, here we go. A factual question. So, you know, when you're a kid at school and in the playground, and you go up behind another boy or another boy comes up behind you and grabs your underwear and pulls it out of the back of your pants? Yeah. So the question is, what do you call that?

Wedgie. I call it a dream come true. Means I'm in with everybody. They're putting their hands on me. That means I'm a cool kid now. That's what it is. Is there another name than Wedgie? The reason I ask is because

the best thing I got out of going to university, or the first best thing I got was I grew up in a small town and I went away to university. What's the name of your small

town if you don't mind me niagara falls that's not that's a huge fall some of the most uh huge in the world but keeping the barrel industry afloat that's right keeping the barrel barrel adjacent but so when i went to university suddenly i i was uh met all these people from other parts of canada or other parts of the world and i discovered that when when i grew up we called that a rooney and then i discovered that other people called it a wedgie but i also discovered that it was called a snuggie an undie grundyy. Undie Grundy is pretty good. A Bersie. And then there were variations on it.

So there was a Seesaw Bersie. So one person grabs from the front and the other grabs from the back and you get Seesaw back and forth. And the person who told me about that also told me about a time that they did a Seesaw B bursey where they also grabbed sand from the from the playground and put it down there and then they found out that there was broken glass in it so jesus do not try this at home that's quite also there are other variations like if you grab and you can hold the kid up that's called a Hercules.

Okay. I think there's one where you pull the underwear over the person's head. I've heard that called an atomic wedgie. Okay, so that's an atomic wedgie. But then the best one was if you pull the underwear out far enough that the leg holes come out and then you can

hook the person's feet in there. It there called a texas shoehorn okay texas shoehorn is great i feel like undie grundy is my favorite yeah well thank you peter we don't have time for the philosophical question but marry undie grundy to you yeah and happy burzee or whatever. Thanks, Peter. Bye. Yes, I want to remove this guy.

Our next caller. Well, that was nice. We're going to have to like... That was eight minutes. These people have five-minute windows. This is going to be a disaster, Greg. Well, you know what? As he was getting into the list,

I was like, we can't cut this shirt of course of course it was so good but i screwed up in the organizer i forgot that people would come with lists of underwear stuff all right let's uh is our next our next caller is ready to go caller are you there hello caller hello caller hello hello rosalie and boston are you there hello caller hello caller hello hello rosalie and boston are you there hi yeah even my family doesn't know how to say my last name it's a married name we just have you as rosalie f yeah we're initials people oh yeah obviously right um well thank you so much for choosing me i'm so excited that I actually won something. Yeah, in this, you get to do this, and then you get to go on a pleasure cruise. Yeah, it's the spy pleasure cruise. So yeah, two days, eight nights.

Okay, yeah, I didn't see that in the fine print. Hello, Rosalie, how are you doing? I'm doing pretty all right. Are you? It's a really crazy day over here. What is why what's happening um well i have a final exam for grad school and uh in the middle of that exam my wife is leaving for 10 days on a trip to a foreign country in the middle of the exam when yeah what time is

the exam okay what's the subject yeah uh. Statistics for social work. Oh, boy. 100% of people are afraid of statistics, I think. 100% of wives are leaving us in the middle of our exam. How long is this exam? I have three hours to complete it. And she's leaving at the 90-minute mark. Yeah. Three hours, no bathroom break?

I will be at home, so I can go to the bathroom anytime nice nice sure you can do you could just put a little uh zoom background behind you and have be on the toilet for three hours the dream yeah it's the dream writing a test what was that noise rosalie nothing i was just saying i love statistics um now if i'm not mistaken it looks like dave and yourself have the same shelf in the background it's a nice pipework gas pipe and wood yeah Yeah. Yeah. Did you do that yourself? I did. Yeah.

Nice. Nice. Yeah, from a kit. Obviously from a kit. But I had to even paint my own pipe. Dave, that's gross. Don't say that on the show. Oh, well, it was very grimy.

I had to get some mineral spirits, it off then spray paint it and uh really yeah so not a good you think that would be easy there's so it's covered in little drips everywhere yeah did you uh ruin a pair of pants doing it or a shirt i mean i ruin a pair of pants later painting your pipe uh rosalie do you have a question or a talent i have a question all right here we go okay so my question is what is the weirdest category of stuff that people call in about on the overheards line like other than overheards you know are you getting like confessions about crimes or weird secrets. Oh, drunk styles. What else? It's pretty much mostly,

it's mostly just overheards, obviously, but I'm wondering if there's anything else. We get a lot of congratulations for how cool we are. Yeah, we do. A lot of like, David, it's me, Claudia Schiffer. Will you marry me? We get a lot uh dave always wanted to propose to claudia schiffer that's why he said no he didn't want her proposing um we get

we do get the occasional drunk dial we get a we get a lot of like dreams yeah a lot of dreams people tell us dreams and uh you know a lot of people will write and say they like the show because they like falling asleep to it yeah that's nice this is like a half-half compliment um but i do that now too i listen to podcasts while i fall asleep i listen to uh punk rock music so i don't ever fall asleep that's how i keep on guard all the time and you sleep above a shark tank and you're all constantly being electrocuted yeah lots of things that people have dreamt and then uh i don't know that's probably those are the big ones and then you know people who wanted to do this call-in show have that's been most of

our email the most emails we've ever received. Anything. Hey, can we talk to you? Well, so that's mostly people. I think a lot of the people that we chose for the call or that we, whose names we drew, I think a lot of them are trying to serve me with the papers because I'm

being sued. Oh no, not again. By Claudia Schiffer for paternity. Um, yeah. Uh, Not again. By Claudia Schiffer for paternity. Yeah. Have you ever called in and overheard? I did. And it was really embarrassing because I think I sounded like a total psycho.

I definitely didn't make it onto the show. Oh. But I was like in the middle of driving. I live near Boston and people here are a little bit notorious for being scary drivers. And I guess I was calling about one, but also probably being one. Do you get stuck in that big dig? Yeah. I've heard about that.

I don't know what it is. I know cheers. You go cheers ever? Cheers still standing? Not really. What the hell? That's a landmark. Well, thank you for calling rosalie good luck on

your test yeah good luck and thank you thank you thank you for everything that you do um you know like most people that listen to podcasts i uh sometimes have anxiety and have like an unhealthy probably parasocial relationship with you guys and we love it yeah my go-to whenever i'm like sad or anxious is episode 200 every sketch or every every segment um which is like just the spyest spy episode that there ever was um well thank you so much and uh put on our podcast and go to sleep and say hi to your wife and then say bye to your wife thanks thanks guys how do your wife. Bye to your wife. Thanks. Thanks, guys. Bye. How do I get, kick people out of here? Uh,

okay. Yeah, no, no. She got herself out. Next up, we've got Benjamin S. Although it says Benjamin R here on his thing. Hmm. So, oh, he dressed up. Hey, Benjamin. Hi, Ben. Is it Ben or Benjaminjamin ben please hey okay cool we're already

past the you know formalities we're in we're in it now exactly how are you doing and also how are you doing i'm doing good i've never been better now um i'm calling from baltimore maryland uh i'm at work yes i um i'm uh at work still but sneaking in this call sure what do you do yeah you wear a tie i wear a tie um so i'm a nurse practitioner and i work on uh what's called a palliative care team here at my mom worked in palliative care no way tell me more what what was her role uh she was like she would go do home calls and uh yeah you know was like one of the tops she was like a supervisor of everybody so she did she wear a tie too that sounds yeah she wore a tie but around her head because she was a

party girl got it um yeah so you're uh you're wearing a tie you but around her head because she was a party girl. Got it. Yeah, so you're wearing a tie. You're at work. This is all checking out. Yeah, is this a busier time of year than normal, or is it the same as always in your line? Why do you ask? Because are you assuming there's more? No, I'm just wondering if it's at if it's like at all seasonal what you do interesting if anything

i think um around holidays uh hospital censuses tend to decrease because folks are like i just want to be home right now i want to be celebrating and with family and and you know not going into the hospital then oh yeah the holidays then they're like get me out of here get me to sure get me somewhere where they just had four christmases exactly yeah now get me to the greek um uh yeah that's uh funny oh yeah this is people don't like going to the hospital. Right. This time. Oh, but give me that January hospital. Ooh.

The smell of hospitals in winter. Take it. Everybody. And the feeling that it's all a lot of oysters, but no pearls. Take it. Now just the ladies in the back now. Benjamin, do you have a question and or a talent uh sure um i also have an overheard but i wasn't oh yeah yeah that's fine too we you know what that'll do we don't have uh any

scheduled we didn't bring our own for this episode so we need something yeah give us some give us some that juice okay i'm also i just i feel like I just need to name, this is very surreal. I don't know if everybody says this. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, great. Well,

you're only our third caller, but they've all been tripping balls. Yeah. Yeah. I'm definitely freaking out. So, um, okay.

You know what? The tie you're, you're dressed for the job you want. That's right. You're like, you can pull off anything if you're in a tie. I feel like the job he want that's right you're like you can pull off anything if you're in a tie i feel like the job he wants uh like a flair bartender at earls or something like that yes oh my god um so that's a great segue to my overheard because i used to be a bartender

before i got into medicine and uh so i was tending bar in brooklyn new york at the time and i'm tending here yeah get out of here give me a step boy don't you these two guys walked in this is early in my shift like it can't even maybe it's not even five o'clock yet and they they come in they're like um they're young they're like 20 something but like kind of like wall street like low on the totem pole in like a in a wall street way and they're dejected and they come in and they sit down in front of me and they order some beers and i'm pouring them the beers and the one guy says to the other um you know my mom had to put down her dog the other day. And the other guy says, wow, rough. Oh boy.

He's strung us along, but good. I don't, I don't appreciate that. Is this, go ahead and say Bob. Dead serious. I don't appreciate that. Go ahead and say Baba Booey now. Dead serious. That was not a joke. He was not aware of the... Did they become aware? No, zero. I had to

just hold back everything that I had. And then he said bow wow. He's probably a little bow wow walking by. Exactly. Oh, that's rich. Yeah, that was good. That was really good. Wow.

What's on for this afternoon? So I don't have any new consults. So I work on, I don't take, I'm not the primary NP for anybody. I'm a consult that if you were Dr. Bitt in the hospital and your doctor wanted some extra help, they would, they would consult me and my team and we would come see you. So I'm actually, I'm actually clear. My doc is clear for the afternoon consult wise. So probably just wrap up my notes and head home to my new baby boy.

Yeah. Thank you. Um, I, uh, I don't know if this is advisable, Dave, but I feel like I get fatherhood advice from you or at least some mentorship. I don't know if you would be proud to say that, you know, to hear that or what. No, I got all mine from Bill Cosby has a bunch of parenting books. I just I'm just repeating back what I read. Fantastic. That's how Dave and Abby met through their mutual love of. Yeah. Do you remember that?

Does she remember that meeting or we were knitted into the same ugly sweater? Beautiful. Uh, well, thank you so much for calling. This was a, this was a real treat.

Um, I enjoy your afternoon off. Thank you. I really appreciate you guys. I know a lot of people do um thanks so much thank you of course thank you goodbye bye remove okay uh so listeners do you have like a 15 second fast forward button on your device so that when people are winding down the call and the person says they appreciate us you can just fast forward maybe there will come a wait there might be a call that says i've grown to hate

you yeah i've become accustomed to your stank um we have another caller joining us now this is whitney r there's whitney r Whitney R. There's Whitney R. Unmute myself. Goodness gracious. There you go. And Whitney, you have some sort of animal. A weird dog. Yeah.

She's one of those weird vibrating dogs. It's my cat, Emma. It's a cat. Decided, you know, sitting at the computer, that means it's cuddle time so yeah he's here here to say hello as always i like to look at people's backgrounds and see if i can figure out what's going on this looks like you have a collection of old pirate maps this is actually it's it's uh by the artist brandon bird who does like a lot of interesting yeah cultural thing it's technically Deep Space Nine fan art. Also over here, it's some Do South fan art.

No, it's not. Oh my God. Yes, it is. It's Do South. Yeah. Is that also Brandon Bird? No. No, this was Rebecca Mock who did this one.

Mocky. Oh, that's so cool. So how many cats are there with you? There's just this one that I i know of okay yeah is there another cat in the room right how many ghost cats are there identify yourself all right are you done are you gonna leave do you want to show them your butt is that what's going on here all right are you talking to me yeah dave show show them your butt? Is that what's going on here? Are you talking to me? Yeah, Dave. Show them your butt. Come on.

I mean, thank you. Yeah. I can't get it in the camera. All right. The camera hates my butt. And these scientists hate your butt as well. Find out the butt that all these scientists hate. One weird trick.

Your butt. One weird trick. Whitney, what keeps you busy during the day? What is your bag? My bag is I live in Brooklyn and I work for a nonprofit and I just sit in my house and stare at the computer. Nice. Nice. That's the dream now. It is. You know, it hasn't been much of a change for me with all of the

everybody staying inside more. You were previously you were working from home as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, nothing different there. Could have bought a new cat. That way it kept you, you know, that could have grown some spice into the mix. Or just upgraded the current cat.

I mean, yeah. Bionicles? Yeah, or like... Like an LED thing underneath her? Oh, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Put like a PlayStation 2 in her trunk. Pimp the cat.

Thank God I can play Gran Turismo on my cat yeah finally she's worthwhile um what uh uh what brings you here to the podcast well i've been i've i've been a listener for i don't know like eight years you guys are the the reason my canadian friends are always like why do you why do you know that yeah you know about mark's work where are you asking me about became super fresh uh oh i could go for some of those right now not me man i mean i needed to know um but i was also a fan of our debut album your little project back in the day and i did it gave it a re-listen over yeah over the pandemic

times how does it hold up oh good it holds up yeah there's some some sharing shock waves still get stuck in my head from now that that was dave and i's smile or our sergeant peppers it was right out of the gates the best album we could do so if you got if you got the band back together what would your like is there like one song that's left that you you still feel that the david graham project well we wrote a lot of songs for olivia rodrigo and she seems to be doing quite well with them that was you well we were really mad at her ex-boyfriend he was such a drip yeah well good for him and uh driver's license deja vu and all that do you um do you have a driver's license i do not i do not know how to drive brooklynites

yeah yeah riding on the trolleys yep on that here in the windy city you know big easy you gotta get on that cable yeah yeah the big easy and the big yeah um do you have uh is that the question whether or not we're gonna record another album no i don't figure you're not but like yeah like yeah you're correct you're correct in that assumption yes it's like oh no we're bringing it out after like six years yeah it's back but yeah you know if if there were like one more what would be the return we don't know because we never really knew going in that's right yeah we started with a blank slate generally uh but i think we would probably get you know a very good you know rapper to do a rapper we'd want to get that classic motown sound oh yeah yeah yeah you know and whatnot yeah yeah yeah yeah somebody with a with a real real good flow yeah you know a lot

of people from 20 feet from stardom working in the show in the background yeah finally they'll be brought to the front yeah yeah that's right we'll toil in the background we'll do yeah we'll do the harmonies. Sheryl Crow. Sheryl Crow was, you know, Michael Jackson's background singer. Yeah, we'll have her on the song and Kid Rock will tag along because they work together quite well.

All-star. We'll just leave and let them do their thing. Yeah, that's it. Truly the final hit. Yeah, just leave them in there with an open them hitting me and me hitting the floor that's right well thank you so much whitney nice to meet you it was nice to talk to you lovely to chat with you good luck on your 24 hours of comedy oh boy, boy. Thank you so much. I'm going to need a hydrate.

Or don't hydrate. I don't know. No hydrate. Hydrate. He takes bathroom breaks every hour. Yeah. You got to human body. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The gross human body. Horrible. Yeah. One of the worst out there, man. Oh, man. Yeah.

I could be a cat. Yeah. Oh, man. Maybe. Maybe someday. one of the worst out there man oh man yeah um be a cat yeah oh man maybe maybe someday maybe my next life or the life after if you study stick in school and you can be a cat i'm gonna stick in school thank you very much whitney okay so nice to talk to you bye all right we are we All right. We are. We got another one right up the bracket. Is that a thing? This is Peter B. Peter Barker? Is it safe to say? Woof.

Now, this is someone who's been in the waiting room for quite a long time. They have just been added. The fact that this person joined the waiting room so long ago makes me think they're asleep they're asleep oh no there we go flying in proving us wrong how's it going guys good it's peter b how are you i'm doing fantastic good what are you talking into this is a aston stealth microphone wow it's kind of like but have you got the sm7b yeah i got an sm7b here yeah it's a gear talk today here with the guys yeah no it looks it looks a little bit like an amazon alexa yeah it does that's right yeah it's cool like um peter where are you i'm in saint john new brunswick oh bye are you there bye

wrong wrong wrong yeah very very wrong the other that's the other saint john's uh i went there a couple years ago and was walking past the house where there were people hanging out on the on the stoop and they all said hello to me and it freaked me out. Yeah. It's a really friendly spot. And I, I remember the episode that you talked about that because I was so pumped to hear you talk about St.

John and you pointed out the greatest thing that we just chose to build the whole city on a Hill on a Hill. Yeah. Rather than the flat part right next to it. Yeah. But yeah, it's such an i loved it i loved it it's so friendly but it's it's jarring how friendly everybody is so yeah even being even living here it does get kind of like who is that guy do i know that guy you have to kind of run through those questions in your head. Do you have to remember people's names?

Do you feel compelled to remember people's names? It'd be a great idea. I don't do it. Hey, buddy. Buddy. There's a lot of buddies. A lot of, hey, man. Champ, sport.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. All the classic nicknames. Yeah. Those are the big ones, right? Champ, sport, boss, dude, all the classic nicknames. Yeah, those are the big ones, right? Amplord, Boss, Dude, Guy. Peter, I assume you're working on your computer because you joined our call over an hour before it started.

I only did that because I wanted to make sure that this worked. I've never done a Zoom call before. Two years into a pandemic and it's your first Zoom. It's my first zoom call i did watch a few of graham's shows on zoom but i've never had to i've never had to interact so well you you have a very nice microphone and i think goes with what's in your background is some musical rock and roll instruments yeah there's a few of them. This is the quiet room for practicing in the house. Nice.

Silent drum set. Those don't make any noise. Oh, wow. I've never seen that before. Nice low volume cymbals and try and keep the neighbors happy here. Do you also have a loud room? Yes, down in the basement. Wow.

Two rooms. Two rooms. That's where you doc racing and stuff like that yeah loop-de-loops and all those tight corners cool but uh yeah having a quiet and loud room i you can probably make the guess that there's nobody else living here either i can't see that being uh being a big favorite to roommates or partners that you get two rooms and everybody else is just i have a lot of bunk beds in the living room

oh man i nearly lived in a place like that when i first moved to vancouver i went on a tour of a place that had bunk beds in the the only room in there and i uh i lived in nanaimo for a short period and when i thought about moving to vancouver i went and looked at some spots that were not exactly that but pretty darn close yeah nanaimo it's a it's a rough and tumble city that nanaimo there's a lot of fun beautiful areas oh yeah absolutely delicious bars some of the best uh some of the best uh i get it i love it peter do you have a question and or a talent no question or talent you can't have both i mean unless the talent is question asked i'll bypass the talent i guess uh one question call us back from the loud room.

One question I had, obviously, with some of the stuff behind me here, it's a big interest for me. And I think somebody brought it up on the last one, but I want to ask again, are you guys going to do yet another debut album? Dave, stop laughing. I'm just laughing because that was the previous caller asked the same thing. No way, really?

Yeah. So there's a big interest. We're going to do a prequel album. That was the previous caller asked the same thing. No way, really? Yeah. We're going to do a prequel album. So all of the things on the album you'll be able to trace back its origin. Yeah, you'll find out where King of the Deep, when King of the Deep was just a prince. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sharon Shockwave was a little kid.

Don't remember. Older kid played by Christina Ricci. Younger kid played by, let's say the girl from stranger things oh christina ricci gets to be the old one yeah it gets to be the old one in this oh wow hooray okay so i'll just drop in a quick second question okay with with things having kind of opened back up in the vaccines and so on and so forth getting watch out for omicron baby everything's shutting down baby get it on for omicron let's go uh i i was wondering why you guys haven't done a pod in the same room since uh things have kind of opened back up dave and i are

afraid of each other yeah i knew it um i don't know i don't know if we're uh i don't feel like things have really opened back up yet yeah i mean they have but i don't think they should have yeah i i don't disagree i don't disagree we do it and it's very uh compact uh it's dave's loud room it's my loud room quiet room for some reason yeah yeah yeah both of our happy places. So there you go. But I would like, we weren't really having, uh, people over to the house even for, you know,

until recently. And it, uh, we're not sure we can keep having people over much longer. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm trying to get in all the, all the bar time I can before they, before they shut me down. We would love to. I would especially love to, I think, because it's hard to edit these laggy, laggy Zoom calls. And the real world lag we get in the room is a lot less invasive. Yeah.

But as to your question absolutely there's another album coming and uh just you know watch out on billboard they'll tell you when it's yeah yeah just subscribe to billboard magazine and they'll tell you they'll tell you what's hot now what's in the future that kind of stuff did you guys ever think of just having like a name for the band or or dug in the slugs was the name yeah dave and the grahams yeah do you have a suggestion yes uh graham halen oh yeah that's pretty good but yeah i don't think that really includes it's not very inclusive. Um, now I'm trying to think of a band name that rhymes with Dave. Hmm.

Hmm. Anyways, I'll work on that. Well, you know, we'll work on that and it'll be there for the next album. Graham Davin. Is that something? Yeah,

that's pretty good. Anyway, you've been a slice, Peter. This has been a lot of fun. Yeah. Thanks very much guys. I've been listening for yearseter yeah this has been a lot of fun yeah thanks very much guys i've been listening for years and i'm a huge fan so thanks for everything you guys do and

stay safe we'll do thanks you too awesome take care guys bye all right we're finally not that late anymore okay but we gotta get this guy This guy, I have a feeling Is gonna have an accent Fun Sometimes the person's like Avatar picture, it makes me think I'm seeing the person just frozen Yes Hello! Oh and he's freezing

I love it Hey guys Hey Andy, how's it going? Yeah very well Oh, and he's freezing. I love it. Oh, good on you. Hey, guys. Hey, Andy. How's it going? Yeah, very well. This is very, very surreal. Let me put you in gallery view so I can see your wonderful faces.

There we go. There it is. Let me turn my self-view off. Uh-huh. And just all definitely things you need to do out loud. Andy, where are you calling us from? I'm calling you from jolly old london town there's probably a really huge lag between me responding to your questions i'm sorry if i talk over you it's been smooth so far um what uh london say yeah what part of london do you that was my leg. Very good.

I'm kind of near Brixton, so it's like southwest London. It's like near a fancy bit, but not really a fancy bit. It's full of bad guys, bad dudes like me. Oh, wow. So you're the wrong side of the tracks kind of thing. Pretty much.

Bob Hoskins will be there beating you up. He's my example of a bad guy he's next door no no i'm too scared back from the dead bob hoskins is he dead yes does he know fuck yeah no yeah he's dead but they he acted in two more roger rabbit films they just animated him in he was animated everybody else was like he wasn't british in roger rabbit was he nope he was like a tough tough brooklyn kind of or i'm from brooklyn i'm he's los angeles a los angelino yeah um andy surfer cop look we could talk roger rabbit to her blue in the face but uh i feel like would be a fun gag that they would put in that movie

um andy do you have a question or a talent uh yeah i've got questions i'd like the only thing resembling talent is i have a tedious musical stuff where i can maybe build a website for you but we've only got five minutes oh i love that so i i did wait wait wait you have an exercise bike behind you that seems like a talent to me yeah yeah well you know mr big it's nearly 9 p.m you know i'm past my bedtime already right right i had to check with my mom that i was allowed to stay up so okay i don't i don't i don't want to i don't want to push my luck dave sorry sure sure is it are we looking at a peloton peloton peloton light no it's it's just it's just made out of like wishes and scrap metal i think it was a nice a cheap pandemic uh purchase at the start when we had such high hypes for our physical and mental well-being. I'm in the best

shape of my life. Yeah, I'm sure. Thanks to the pandemic. I didn't eat entire boxes of Ritz crackers on a daily basis and so now I look fantastic. Oh, sorry. Ritz biscuits. Ritz biscuits. Yeah. Wait, what's

a British River cracker? We have crackers here. We haveish river cracker we have crackers here you have crackers like we have white people crackers and we have uh yes both both of the great and also the tv detective cracker was a sure and niche like yeah a blast from your past no doubt um uh what what is your question socket to us so i i did i did too much research and i'm like i'm going to bring all of these questions together and i realized you're already running late and i i want to like so either you get the the contrived one that has multiple stages or you get the like the softball like easy one i want the hard one yeah okay yeah it's multiple questions but um okay like some

context i'm going to try and keep it short so there's this guy on youtube who uh you know who uh had a like it's this 36 question uh set that you have with your partner or your potential partner to sort of you know bring you closer together either as a new partner or as you know your existing relationship i was like oh that would. Um, for these two guys to kind of go back and forth with each other. Um, it was 36 and some of them got a bit dark and a bit deep. And I was thinking, well, I know Dave is going to be uncomfortable by this already. So I'm going to love dark deep. So I's a spelunker. So I pulled out like a few questions from each section,

like the first, the second, the third. So you got a choice of easy breezy or cringe each time. So section one, do you want easy breezy or do you want cringe? Cringe. Cringe. Okay, so this is really wholesome. All right, name three things. Maybe we can bring the number down. Three things that you and your partner then graham appear to have in common

we both are white uh males living shop yeah and uh that's three so there you go cringe cringe i mean i was hoping it would be more cringe but okay that's fine all right so next section you get easy breezy we or you get cringe. Cringe. All right. Okay. It's not really that cringe. I feel like this is a misnomer. So for each of you, what was your most treasured memory? Going to be real wholesome.

It's Christmas and all that. Real delve deep. Treasured memory with each other? Yeah. Or in your own experience. Oh, my most treasured personal memory? Yeah. Whatever's most treasured, Dave. Like three weeks ago, I scored a goal in hockey, and I had a breakaway, and I thought I was going to screw up,

but I totally scored. It was good. And my moment is just hearing about that just now. Yeah. Hearing about that warmed me up inside. Because you know what? Because Dave's doing this hockey and he was afraid that he was the worst guy on the team.

But if you scored a goal. Oh yeah, it was a nice one too. Nice. Dipsy Doodle? No. Round the Horn? Oh sure, yeah. That was your father? Yeah. Yeah, so does that answer

does that answer your question I mean I mean Graham that was pretty low effort like I was hoping for some you know some real treasured memory I will I will treasure I will treasure

the fact that my nephew finally kind of recognizes me and knows knows who i as a threat as a threat that's right and uh yeah that's pretty special and now he knows he knows we have ongoing bits together and uh and that's pretty special so i'd say that ah that was wonderful there you go that's wholesome as fuck i swear that's pretty special. So I'd say that. Ah, that was wonderful. There you go. That's wholesome as fuck. I see. That's okay. Um, okay.

Uh, so the last one, um, so easy breezy or cringe. Again, I feel like I've labeled these very badly. I removed all of the horrible ones. This is,

this is a puff piece of this day. Do you want to choose this time? Give me that cringe. Okay. Uh, I think I've put these wrong around all right okay easy breezy then no no it's fine it's irrelevant uh share with well share with your partner and i guess the entire world of the podcasting nation an embarrassing moment in your life although i feel like that's most of what spy has been up to this point. The whole show has been embarrassing. Yeah.

The time that I tried to carry a bunch of beer flats from one point to the other and they all fell on the ground. That was pretty embarrassing. And I'm sure somebody's favorite anecdote that they still tell to this day. So I would say that. That was pretty embarrassing yeah about you dave i don't remember i'm not uh yeah i there's a ton but mostly i'm just embarrassed to be a podcast repress repress i'm more like i tell my kids i uh work at the circuses like a animal poo deliverer

and that's why Dave never leaves the house without his top hat yeah and it explains the smell well thank you Andy

Andy that was so much fun thanks for the question you can take a screenshot for the gram because it was so nice talking to you guys I really appreciate it alright

yeah alright and tell me what you're taking I'm taking another take another one. Okay. And all right. And cool.

Everyone gets three. Thanks so much guys. Thank you Andy. Have a good rest of the evening. Have a nice rest of your days. Love you. Bye. Bye.

I'm getting good at hanging up on people. Coming up. We got Liz. Liz, up, we got Liz. Liz. Liz, Liz, Liz. And there she is. There it is. It's Liz, everybody.

Yeah. You got to turn that microphone on. Oh, yeah. We're going to need to hear that. There we go. Okay. Oh, I love your shirt right off the bat. I got dressed up for the occasion oh man it's uh

for people at home it's an elf shirt that says no problem because he never had oh wow good reveal oh wow um yeah those were some of the best years when he was on the lam in cancun did elf was no problem his catchphrase? Yeah, he would say, ha, no problem. Yeah, do the voice. Ha, no problem. He would laugh in the middle?

Yeah, he was pretty silly. What is the, what's the Mexican word? Is it gato? What is it for cat? Yeah, gato. Yeah, gato. One gato, por it for cat yeah gato yeah gato um one gato por favor one hello liz hello where are you calling us from new orleans oh the big easy it is

um what do you what do you do down there in the New Orleans or New Orleans yeah just breasts revealed constantly beads that's all that's all anybody does down here that's all it is it's keeping the bead industry afloat those beads get recycled oh that's a really do you guys want me to be on here for the next hour talking about this about the beads and the maybe they pulled them out of the store they pull them out of the storm drain every year. Oh, really? That's fine. You don't get many storms down there. No, I work for a non-profit here in

town. I work for a non-profit. There's a theme with our listeners. Oh, really? Even I work for a non-profit. Yeah. Hey, your Max Fund members are trying. You know. Yeah. Consider. Hey, your max fund members are trying,

you know? Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. They're the best. We love the best. Uh, we hope that, that all of their drains are cleared no matter what part of the world

they're from. Yeah. Um, do you, uh, do you have a question and or a talent? Well, I have no talent.

No one's had a talent yet. Oh, I'm sorry. Last year we had a guy playing Nerf basketball. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Doing dunks. Last year we had someone playing bass. Oh, yeah.

A guy tried to make fart noises with his ear. A guy tried to make fart noises with his ear. I can't even get our last caller to get up onto his exercise bike. Yeah, he would refuse to get on his exercise bike. Honestly, that would have been so good. I think he just saw the episode of Sex and the City where... Oh, where Mr. Peloton dies. Mr. Peloton, yeah. Spoilers for anybody.

What were you holding off for? I was going to watch it, and then I saw that it is a show and not a movie. I was going to watch a Sex and the City movie, but I can't watch it. Just watch number two again. Yeah, okay, I will. Yes, sorry, you had a question, Liz? Well, I was wondering if I could talk to the card guys. Oh, the card guys.

The card guys, absolutely. Let me just call them up. Okay. Slick back my hair, put on my sunglasses. Hey, everybody, it's the card guys. It's the card guys. I'm Dirty Dave. And I'm Grimy Graham.

I'm Dirty Dave and I'm Grimy Graham we're also the Cabbage Patch Kids but the whatever the bad ones are we're the Garbage Pail Kids we love them, that's our number one card we hope you have some oh shit I do not

well because we just had a big hurricane I had to go up in my attic and I found a bunch of cards that I had collected when I was a teenager and so this was the perfect opportunity to talk to the card guys I had to go up in my attic and I found a bunch of cards that I had collected when I was a teenager. And so this was the perfect opportunity to talk to the card guys. Absolutely. This is what we're here for. This is our bread and butter.

We love teenage cards. Yeah. Okay. So there's a lot. So I'll just show you guys some stacks and then, you know, you just do what you want. Okay. Just go with how we feel. So there's a stack of mars attacks cards oh cool um there's a box of simpsons cards scratchy lead in the way which is you know like in this case right there's uh wait did you collect these all individually or

did you some of that some of them yes this i got like this okay but some of them you actually collected the whole set yeah like uh well so there's these monty python cards which there's not a whole set there's just these random ones um these ghostbuster two cards oh in the packet i'm not gonna let make you open those but there might be gum in here yeah okay well then open those up yeah and then i show you a very quickly you held up a peewee so there's peewee there's like a lot of peewee cards in here you know you tell me if you need me to send you any of these too yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah send them all yeah yeah those new kids cards the two new kids who are they i see a donnie and i was that jordan john jordan knight and donnie and they're

you had to check the back well give me their vitals on the back okay uh donnie was born here's celebrity birthday can I guess his birthday? Donnie's birthday, oh does it have his year as well? yeah yeah July 4th so they were like late 80s was he born in the 60s? no 1970 October 18th

no was he born in his 60s and has Benjamin buttoning it backwards that sounds right i haven't seen him lately but maybe he's a baby yeah um yeah august 17th 1970 oh in worcester mass is he from worcester i don't know um so Jordan, Jordan Knight doesn't have any vitals, but it does have a, did you know? Okay. Yeah.

What, what, let's see. Did you know that Jordan Knight's singing career didn't start with new kids on the block? He used to sing in a church choir. I should have stuck with that. You know,

that had a long term project. That sucks. That's not, everyone started with some like, Oh, you know why he, the first time he opened his mouth Wasn't in New Kids on the Block

He knew he could sing Before he joined the band Do you feel That they're unjustly Like the fact that they have to be kids In their later career as do the Backstreet Boys But NSYNC just gets to be Just broken up forever

Gets to be just broken up forever gets to be yeah if only every group had a breakout member oh there's a cat coming in second cat of the show oh yeah right here's oh a cat is scared of

elf okay so should i open the ghostbusters two cards yeah i think it's the right and most importantly um should i eat the gum if there's i'm not a should person so that yeah if it's if it's what you feel then follow your heart oh okay okay um wow it's really horrifying oh wow it's like broken up yeah it looks yeah it doesn't look like i wouldn't i think that i'm sorry that you have to know that okay oh it's chewy oh good really nice disintegrating oh yeah disgusting do you want to know about this

ghostbusters two cards tell me yes yes is there any bobby brown in it is there the master of evil uh-huh oh yeah that is slave really seasonal uh oh yeah merry christmas new york love it this is really disgusting this i it just i had to swallow it sure scolari's ghost who's from the from the he was the from the trial from the trial right yeah that's where the disorder in the court as two full torso apparitions explode out of stanza's specimen jar the judge looks up in terror and recognizes the specters immediately they're the scolari brothers and it's continued on the next exciting card oh no did you have the next exciting card well the next exciting card is psycho reactive slime food this one looks kind of carrie-esque oh yeah it's a big door that's then covered in a the

titular goo titular goo here's just a the whole crew it's not a sticker but maybe it's like a puzzle oh it's a puzzle on the back nice yeah that is very cool okay oh the evil of vigo. There's the baby. He's going to kidnap the baby. Venkman's favorite lady. Who's that? Oh, yeah. Liberty, of course. Hey, how does Bustin make you feel? Bustin makes me feel good.

Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just doing an informal poll. Well, I can't. I'm actually not one of the subjects of the poll. Yeah, and Dave's not legally's not allowed to answer that question. That makes sense. Yeah.

So there's just, there's just these two. Do you know that, uh, the Fresh Prince, uh, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince wanted to do the theme song for Ghostbusters, but,

uh, they had the line busted makes me barf. What the hell? But they did do Nightmare on my street right they did yeah that's a great song and the fat boys did freddy's back all right all right we got so many colors here okay thank you liz thank you liz thank you for opening that pack of cards thank you bye bye alright next in the queue wait who's this

okay here we go and hello oh god oh no oh no Christine just spilled a bunch of paint cans all over the place oh man hi guys hello how are you good how are you you've got a nice headset microphone

yeah it's my xbox one so oh what do you play on the box I call it the box uh mostly like uh puzzle type games not like any shoot them up stuff like i don't think ones that make you think i'm not good at the other ones it's i haven't had it for a long time so games that make you go hmm i dream about having one but i feel like that would be the end of me doing anything else for the rest of time yeah yeah what uh you're in vancouver we've met before is that is this true this is true multiple times you've been on stage doing overheards i have yeah actually graham just read mine in the last episode the the kid that was really excited about uber i really wanted to hear you read that and it was perfect.

Oh, thank you. Yeah. I took some acting liberties there, but I'm glad they paid off. Well done. Yeah. Christine, what is that? Your comfiest sweater? I'm wondering if you have one.

It is. It's brand new. Probably my CBC couch and style one is might be comfier. That's kind of like a zip-on blanket. This one, though, looks hella comfy. Yeah, it is. I just got it yesterday. Oh, wow.

Seasonal. New seasonal. I allowed myself one new sweater this season. Oh, that's a good idea. Because I'm only wearing an old junkie one. So I should have allowed myself that one nice card. No, no, no Graham, you need to check with me. Oh, Dave, can I get

a card this year? No, no, no. I will not allow you one sweater this year. Aw. Nuts. Christine, do you have a question or a talent that you would like to share? Oh. Or a sweater that you just want to talk about

you want me to share my sweater with you yeah yeah bring out your three comfiest sweaters i'll do a fashion show um i don't know my talent probably would be uh simpsons trivia now oh yeah you run the simpsons trivia show yeah kirk and i do i was like you guys you went to like the first ones when we weren't hosting right abby did i didn't yeah i know graham's excuse was always it's the same night as his show yeah it was always on a monday yeah now they're on tuesdays so that's even worse yeah more to find a new excuse but But you're back at it. Yeah. We just started doing them in person again. What is the questions?

Abby came back from the first night and the questions were so hard. They're really hard. It's for people. And this is just the first like eight seasons, right? We do one to nine. Yeah. So it's classic. But yeah, they're really hard.

Ask us a hard one. Ask us a hard one. Ask us a hard one and then i'll ask you an equally hard one um okay uh our general thing when kirk and i were looking for people to play with us was if you could name the entire jury of the damned oh shit yeah usually that's ar like Anic Dick Arnold and like Jason and yeah yeah um oh shit yeah my favorite one in that is the

starting line of the 1976 Philadelphia Flyers so yeah that was that's our standard and we're like

how many can you name if you can get a couple then you're in but we've tried to like a Baron or something or the guy with the spike on his helmet

oh is that is it from a it's from a treehouse of horror yeah it's the treehouse of horror episode which we we just did and had our costume contest which was fun uh oh yes there's somewhere that you post these costumes because they are the best yeah yeah they're on our instagram uh it's woohoo trivia van including mine which i went as king homer when homer imagines himself as being solid gold notice anything new yeah look closer to that so yeah that was a lot of work but last year we didn't have it and i just went as sigourney weaver in um uh ghostbusters as azul so i just used it like orange trash bag as the dress.

So I just stepped up my costume game this year, but yeah, the people will go all out and it's like super obscure references. Okay. Here's my question. Okay. What job did groundskeeper Willie have? Groundskeeper. Yeah, that's right okay yes nailed it sweet i was like panicking for a second like oh god if i don't know this answer i'm gonna look like a fraud and like okay okay thank you for that

one oh you're very welcome you landed it you stuck the landing nailed it um yeah nailed it absolutely um when is the next uh when are you doing it next this um christmas day no well actually it's the last tuesdays in the of the month so uh we're not doing the december one because that's like the 28th or something so the next one's january 25. And we're at the Anza Club now, which is sweet because you can bring in your own food. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's awesome. Just bring in a giant thing of stew. Yeah. Or chili. We should

have a chili cook-off one day. Actually, the last one we did, I wrote 50 questions all about food. Oh, wow. Or food adjacent. So we did restaurants and stuff like where can food adjacent so we did like restaurants and stuff like where can you get uh all you can eat seafood and stuff like that oh what is that called it's called the frying dutchman the neon like this the neon sign yeah yeah kirk made like all the restaurant

signs into gifts and stuff so yeah that's cool it's fun it's fun it's very nerdy and like we watched the episodes between it and like if there's a song everyone sings it because we're weirdos that's great no that sounds like a ton of fun i'll have to come one day yeah i will do i'll blow your mind with how bad i am yeah yeah we've tried to like dumb down the first there's like three rounds the first round because there's people that get like 49 out of 50 like or like super high things so i'm like well if they get the questions when they're hard then might as well dumb it down so everyone gets questions right in the first round what color are the simpsons i'll have to sneak the question one

is like what crap what is groundskeeper willie's job yeah yeah yeah that's for you i love it oh my god well thank you christine yeah yeah this is so much fun i actually one of the things i was gonna ask was like what your favorite episode was because i had i don't know of our show or the simpsons the simps, but you can have a favorite of your show too. I just re-watched Bar Gets an Elephant. And I just re-watched Two Dozen and One Greyhounds. Greyhounds, very good. And I would probably say...

The one, you know, my favorite is the one with the Itchy and Scratchy movie. Okay, yes. Bar G and Scratchy movie. Okay. Bart gets punished and, uh, because he's hitting, he's hitting ketchup packets with a hammer going jingle bells. You do what I do is that you were about to describe something and you started laughing before you even said it. And like, that's the same thing. If I'm watching the episode, I start laughing because I know the joke that's coming.

So yeah. Graham. Uh, I don't know my favorite, but I, one of my favorite lines is from the episode where they get snowed in at school. And,

uh, Bart tries to dig out, uh, of the, through the snow. And then, uh, principal Skinner comes over and looks at his work and he says like i was gonna put in buttresses and uh principal skinner says gonna

wanna shunna i think that's past season nine i don't even know that that's the thing is like my knowledge literally stops at season nine well not anymore now you got that gun yeah you got that one line i'll have to go look at it. Oh yeah, that's a good one. I think that might be season 10 or 11. Yeah, something around there. When they watch the terrible Christmas movie. The Christmas that always was stolen

but then wasn't. Okay, Christine, we've got to get going. We've got a big callers coming up. Thanks for calling. I'll come and try and see you on Saturday, Graham. Okay. Yeah. I look forward to it.

Maybe breakfast time. Sure. Sounds good to me. Okay. Bye. Bye. Bye. And here's one caller named Max and Max D.

Max Deadroom. Hello, Max. Max,. Max Deadroom. Hello, Max. Max, how are you? I'm great. How are you guys today? Oh, good. Good. Sorry we're running a few minutes late.

No worries. No worries. Yeah, we have. How's it going? You said it. Sorry. We're good. Continue.

No, we're good. No, it's fine. We're good. And it's good. And we're good. Continue. No, we're good. No, it's fine. We're good. And it's good. And we're fine. Max, you... This is your first Zoom call. Is that correct? That is correct. Yep.

Well, welcome to the fold. It's a deciding time for telecommunication. Now, how have you avoided Zoom in the year and a half pandemic we've had apparently i don't have very many friends i don't know i don't talk to any of my friends on zoom it's it's only for his mortal enemy yeah we keep each other in check that way yeah it's like he's the yang to my yin where are you where are you max uh i am in minneapolis minnesota ah lake country yeah plenty of lakes here uh what uh what do you do around there max mostly i ride my bike

four hours a day or so really yeah bike courier no i'm unemployed i just like riding my bike oh hell yeah i mean zoom is what your bike says when you're riding that's the only zoom you've been doing um now you i know when uh when i was going through the emails like when we ask people hey if you have a question or a talent uh write in most people just say i want you to i want to be part of the draw i want to they don't say if what their question is or what their talent is but i saw your talent in your email and i see it on your lap right now listeners it is a dog getting ready to jump through a flaming hoop yeah

maestro uh no it is a mandolin yes yep and not the kitchen kind correct it is a musical instrument although i would love it if it could julian prize um what uh how long have you played the mandolin i think 15 years i guess do you play anything else or was it mandolin from the get-go uh i played the saxophone in middle school but when guitar hero came out um i decided instead of that i would learn an actual instrument wow and you shot fired at kenny g and his ilk um what do you play with anyone or is this a uh i used to play with a local organization and then they got too good and so i decided i would just uh i don't say that much just for myself was it a band or was it just when you say an organization was it like the 4-h club uh it was the minnesota mandolin orchestra

which is about 10 or 15 people that play mandolins together and then they got too good i stopped practicing yes so it was partly them and partly you yeah we'll call me a little combi yeah well are you gonna play some for us? Yeah. Let's hear some of this mandolin. Yeah. Yeah. Can we make a request?

Yeah. No. The mandolin from Losing My Religion. Yeah. I was going to say that as well. I used to know that, but not anymore. Go ahead. Do your thing.

Okay. nice that was good i predict our podcast is going to get sampled i doubt it jason darulo um i do also have a quick card guys question if yes absolutely okay so i don't know if you're gonna be able to see this very well but it is a uh christmas card here i've got uh some we've rarely done christmas cards yeah yeah this is we should have made a policy where no Pokemon and also no Christmas cards. No greeting cards in general. So on the inside it just says Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday.

So what do you think that's worth? Oh boy. The fact that they tried to cover both your birthday and Christmas by one card seems a little suspect. Four months apart. Is it signed by you know like Charlesindbergh or any kind of like historical figure uh no names at all on it so i could absolutely reuse this for

somebody oh sure well that's good oh wait it has no names on it so it's just that that's the thing that comes with the card is happy belated birthday and no no no that got written on it for me but my name is not on it and their name is not on it. Yeah, I get a Christmas card with no name on it every year that says you're late for your cleaning. Yeah, yeah. But Dave gets a lot of different things cleaned. Yeah, that's true. So that one I would say because it has no names on it, it's actually worth more.

You could reuse it. It's true. You could reuse it. It's true. You could say it's from anybody, you know, somebody really famous. So I would say, I don't know, $800,000. Okay. Okay. Well, I'll also retire on that. Yeah.

Yeah. You can ride your bike all day long if you want. Now that you've got the big V8. What did you say? $800,000? Yeah, yeah yeah yeah shit that's pretty good i'm not good with money well neither am i well thank you max yeah you're good with mandolin that's what you are off he goes off he goes off i go of the show

oh i put these brakes in and we're going over the brakes I know The brakes are failing Last year a couple people didn't bother showing up Yeah what the hell man Yeah why is everyone showing up this time There's Harry Hello Hi

I'm good thanks for having me Harry where are you calling from I'm calling from Los Angeles California And, boys Harry, where are you calling from? I'm calling from Los Angeles, California And we've never met, is that true? No Harry and I have met We've met, I thought we were lying to everyone No, Harry is a podcast magnate

Yes I met him when he was working in New York at the midroll offices, is that what it was called at the time? It might have been Stitcher then I had a coffee, a very cold bubbly coffee From their canteen, then we went for Food. We ate noodles They were fine, a little uh a little acumany yeah harry what do you remember at the time that we hung out together uh i remember that the noodles uh were

less less spicy but um you know they were longer they were longer they were a little they kept going yeah that's right they kept going off the table down the floor out the door um but yeah that's right okay so we both had great noodle experience yeah yeah harry how is many more how is your uh tuesday going it's good i've been i did lawn i'm going to i'm traveling for the holidays tomorrow so so I've been doing laundry and stuff. You're supposed to do that wherever you land. Something about packing a bunch of dirty clothes makes me feel bad. Where are you traveling to?

I'm going to the Midwest. I'm from Indiana originally. Ah, America's Crossroads. Yep, yep, yep. The Hoosier State. And this is to visit folks? Yeah folks yeah see my family see my friends um do all the because i haven't been back in a while you know what for you know when were you last back what when was i last back yeah uh i went back well i went i went back briefly over the summer

i guess but that doesn't count oh okay yeah okay. Yeah. No, if things don't count, then they don't count. Yeah, that's right. If Harry says they don't count, forget about it. Yeah. If you can go water skiing, then it never happened. Exactly. Harry, you have a... Wait, really quick.

You have a bicycle in the background. Is Los Angeles a biking city? No, that's why it's in my apartment and not yes excellent on the streets um surely you can bike somewhere there aren't really bike lanes and it's scary yeah i mean it's we have bike lanes here but it's still scary yeah oh we say there are a lot of guys are on their Bluetooth making deals. Yeah. Like Ari. Like Ari? Yeah. Yeah.

On his bike? Yeah, on his bike. I mean, it's always scary because it's like God never intended us to travel on wheels. That's right. If he wanted us to travel on wheels. He can strike us down with a big thunderbolt. By the way, the God I worship is Zeus. Anyway. That was my question.

I was going to ask, what god do you worship? There's only one. Yeah. There's no god but God, and Zeus is his name. No, actually, if I believe that, I would believe in all the gods, wouldn't I? Yeah. All the Greek ones, anyway. Eros,

Pathos, Stephanopoulos. Stephanopoulos. Do you have a question or a talent, Harry? Well, I was trying to think of a question and I couldn't. I've been listening to the show for so long, I feel like I know everything that's publicly, that you guys are publicly saying. Do you want to ask us some trivia about ourselves?

I don't. I haven't retained that much. But what I did instead was I prepared a quiz about cheese. Cheese quiz. Cheese quiz.

Yeah. Thanks. Buzz in with your names and just wait till i finish answering the questions and then we'll and then we'll go we'll go from there does that sound good great sure first question this soft mild tasting white cheese is often smeared on a variety of breads alongside garlic dill and olives gra olives. Grail. Okay. I guess I didn't specify which names. I heard Graham first.

So, Dave? Oh. Go ahead. Creamed jeans, I believe, is the name of the cheese. Yeah, I bought mine in Philadelphia. Correct. Correct.

Philadelphia cream jeans. Great. Next question. Made of cow's milk, this extra hard cheese is part of the- It's a horse. I mean, Dave, horse. Horse? These are all-

I should say these are all cheeses. Oh, okay. Oh, yes, yes. Go ahead. Start again. Sorry. It was Parmesan. We'll skip that one.

It was Parmesan. That's not a cow's cheese. It's my cheese. No. uh it was parmesan we'll skip that one it was parmesan that's not a cow's cheese that's my next up is some consider this crumbly white cheese to be the greatest of all time others just like it on salads greatest of all time why would feta be the greatest of all time is there is that like a well greek Greek people would say. Yeah. The correct answer is goat cheese.

G-O-A-T. Greatest of all time. Ah, shit. I would put feta on a salad. Sometimes in the questions there are... Give me one that the answer is feta. That one was... Okay, this one is...

That one was the closest it could be feta okay so feta okay this one's feta adjacent okay i'll give you this one next and we can stop adjacent yeah so you're gonna do it uh this gross colorful fungus filled cheese should be blue correct doesn't count because he didn't ring in oh okay default uh dave graham yeah it's blue cheese correct uh great work everyone thank you harry you finished the the cheese quiz there was a guy there was a commercial speaking of greek for panagopolis pizza which was a canadian chain that's since been shortened to panago and they had had a commercial for a pizza with a guy in like a construction outfit wearing a hard hat and like high visibility vest and all that. And he was talking about his steak and blue cheese pizza. And anytime I hear blue cheese now, I repeat what this guy said.

Steak and blue cheese. So now you know that. Yeah. there's a little trivia for next time okay i'll put it on the the next cheese quiz next year's harry's yeah harry that was a lot of fun thanks for doing that thanks hey thanks for having me everyone this was great uh you know let me know next time you need me on the show yeah if we need a quiz master yeah happy to be the quiz guy you're the guy you're the guy. You're the guy. There we go. Thank you very much. Have a good day. Bye. Happy New Year.

Okay. And the next one seems to be this one. Sam. We're only 10 minutes late after building into 10 minute buffers. Hello. Hello.

Not looking at the camera oh hello hello hello hello hi hi are we talking to sam b the sam hey sam how are you i'm awesome how are you? I'm awesome. How are you guys? You know, I've never been better, actually. I've been better. When? Name one time that you've been better. One time? Did I tell you about the time I scored that goal in hockey? That's right. Yes.

You know when you have like a bad thing happen and you replay it in your mind and you're like, how can I never replay good things? This is a good thing. I scored this goal and I just keep replaying it in my mind yeah and uh well dave is he was reaching for the top myself uh every day is glorious yeah um now sam you have an accent or are we the ones who have the accent that's something yes that's true decipher i have an accent and it is from new zealand and this is how i talk where are you from in new zealand i'm from auckland and new zealand so i'm from the biggest city that's the biggest that's as big as it gets that the north island yes yes uh yeah yeah like i think we've got like 1.5 million people of which I'm one. Only one. You're not one million.

No. We also have 0.5 million and me. Sam? Your accent is delightful. Yeah. Keep it up. Thank you. Yes. I also have a very bad southern accent but I don't

use that often. We would like very much to hear this southern accent on three two one ago oh hi there i'm blanche dubois from a streetcar named desire does blanche do one know she's in a streetcar named desire i mean i i feel it i like feel at one point in the play she is literally in a streetcar that is named that so I think at that point she might be aware but she is quite not sane for most of the play so I'm not sure where she is that's true

you take the bus a lot Graham what is your bus route of choice well if desire is running late then jealousy You take the bus a lot, Graham. What is your bus route of choice? Well, if desire is running late, then jealousy. You get on the jealousy bus. But would you ever be like, I'm Graham from the number eight bus? Oh, yeah. If I was introducing myself to a bunch of clients. Sam, do you have a question or a talent to share with us oh um if not we can just you know i can grab ass i can name all of meryl streep's oscar noms in a row okay quickly. Okay, here we go. This sounds great.

Okay. 1978, Deer Hunter. 1979, Kramer vs. Kramer. 1981, French Lieutenant's Woman. 1982, The Service of Choice. 1983, Silkwood. 1985, Out of Africa. 1997, Ironweed.

1988, no, 89, A Cry in the Dark. Yeah. 1990, Postcards from the Edge. Yes. 1995, Bridgerton, Medicine County. 1998, One True Thing. 1999, Music from the Heart. 2002, Adaptation.

2006, Devil Wears Prada, 2008, Doubt, August, Osage County, 2015, Into the Woods, 2017, The Post. Holy shit. Wow. Oh, yes. Well done. Those were Oscars? Yes. Oscar nominations.

That's like 30. Yes. Oscar nominations. I think she has like 30. Sure. Yeah. Do the number of Teen Choice Awards that she's won. How many surfboards has she won? Best mooch. What, is she your favorite actress? No, no.

Okay. I mean, like, I love her a lot, but I don't think she's my favorite fave. Right. Who would you say? Number one, one, number one actor. Um, Uma Thurman. Nice. I don't know why.

I don't know why. Yeah. I could just, it just felt right. It just felt right. Have you ever seen even cowgirls get the blues? Yes. Yes. It's a bizarre movie.

It's got the giant thumbs in it. It's every gamer's dream. Have you ever seen that famous movie that was shot in New Zealand? The Frighteners? Yes, yes, yes, yes. I think they also shot Lord of the Rings here, but I'm not sure. I don't have that in front of me. But we know the Peter Jackson movie that was shot there

I do have a list of Glenn Close's Oscar nominations in front of me that I can list off shorter well that was a fantastic talent and thank you so much for sharing it you guys are so welcome

don't keep that under wraps. This is a good talent. Get it out there. Thank you so much for joining us. We'll see you again next time. Okay.

Bye. I like to cut someone off mid-word. Yeah. That felt good. Our next caller didn't show up so that's good that buys us some time yeah now we're only uh boy i guess we're only four minutes late for this person no six the wrong side of five okay here we go and there it is and join us please and this is going hello hello hi hi do i have my video on you don't but if you want to be mysterious that's fine there you go hi there's the bright shining face. How are we all doing? Good. How are you doing?

I'm good. I'm great. Your name is Ian. And where are you calling us from? Hawaii. Hawaii. Oh, really? Oh, man.

Do you make your home? Yeah, now. As of five months ago. Okay. What prompted the move to Hawaii? My partner is from here. as of five, uh, five months ago. Okay. What, what prompted the move to Hawaii? Uh, my partner is from here. Uh,

so we, uh, yeah, we met in Portland and I lived there my entire life. And so figured after the last year that we had, uh, we would move back to her home. Uh,

so yeah, I guess that's pretty cool what island are we on here uh the big island yeah it's it's fine you know um it rains more actually i mean not that i'm not at all complaining but it does rain more here uh by a lot than in portland which is kind of weird but yeah yeah it gets like three times the rainfall. Does Dog the Bounty Hunter live in Hawaii? Do I have my facts straight on that? Oh, God. If he does, I would be...

I don't know. I'd have to reconsider my decisions. Yeah. Maybe leave. Yeah, you should leave your partner and move in with him. We've all thought about it. Yeah. Yes, exactly.

We've all thought about it. Yes, exactly. Ian, do you have a question or a talent that you'd like to share? I've got two really stupid things. So I couldn't think of a question I was thinking about for a long time, but I've listened to like every episode of your show, no pressure. So like, yeah. every episode of your show no pressure uh so like yeah um but uh what is your favorite breakfast food not what do you eat every morning oh what is your favorite whoa that's a that is a good question holy cow um dave what do you what do you think i'm a savory person. I like eggs and generally a bacon or ham thing.

Eggs Benedict is what I go to quite a bit if I see it on a breakfast menu. But I also like because I like drinking coffee, and I don't think coffee is good with savory. I like to, hey, get like a fun pancake for the table. Yeah. Which is usually, you know, just me. My partner always orders a pancake for the table, but I'm always like, I don't think I need that. I'm not a big uh sweet person i like the savory stuff as well oh oh um and you groom

i like uh i like a breakfast burrito oh yeah hell yeah yeah breakfast burrito has all the punch you need you put salsa on there got that nice little doughy wrap part at the end. Nice finisher. Goes well with coffee. Goes well with, I guess it goes well with juice. I'm not afraid to try a juice. Yeah. That's got to be it for me.

Before I drank coffee, I used to, if I went out to like a diner or Denny's or something, I would get eggs and bacon and then I would drink it with a coke or eat it with a coke on the side and that was always so now if i i keep a bunch of little tiny cokes in case i ever want to have a coke for breakfast i love that that's a that's a nice little treat it's funny how i don't think of coke as a breakfast food even though i would eat like a well if if I was at like a nice restaurant or whatever, I'd have like a pancake or something like that rather than just, yeah, I don't know. That's weird that I wouldn't eat that sugar. Coke is not a breakfast food. It's weird. But Pepsi in the 80s tried to introduce a line of called Pepsi AM. And that was supposed to be something that

you drank in the morning and everybody's like hey if i want a pepsi in the morning i don't need a different brand of pepsi i don't need you to tell me what to do pepsi yeah exactly what's your breakfast uh what's your breakfast of choice you know i i think that like if i'm gonna go all out like an eggs Benedict is amazing. But honestly, going out and having somebody else make you just a two, two and two, like two bacon, two eggs and two pancakes. It's just kind of like, just so nice. I don't know when they make those big pancakes and everything. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Those are like Uncle Buck style. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was like Uncle Buck style. Oh, man. When I was a kid, that was the dream come true. But think of how horrible it would be. Oh, yeah. After two bites, you'd be like, oh, I feel sick.

And now I feel obliged to Uncle Buck. He didn't even clean that shovel before he flipped them over. Do you have another question, Ian? Oh, yeah, just a talent it was just that i'm good at parallel parking but that's not uh that's not something you demonstrate on the one is jumping into his car as we speak you're the only caller i think we've had who is uh on a phone instead of a computer so you could yeah i could yeah i've got five minutes right that's a very short period of time well look everyone's gone over their time yeah i'll just drive into town it's about you know 30 minute drive and i'll find a spot to parallel park in and then you get a ticket you

know who will be after you oh that's right. My dog. Well, this guy's got a lot. I'm hearing a lot of bluster about parallel parking and not a lot of follow through. But that's unfinished business. Yeah. Well, thank you for calling, Ian. Yeah. The next time you call in, do it from a car

so that we can check this talent out because I'm very bad at parallel parking so i want to see i want to see it done right if you're ever in uh in hawaii then i'll show you how it's done okay i'll be there next week i'll go to hawaii i only go to the other islands though that's right every other one yeah island hopping all right bye bye all right now this is we've only got three callers left uh i know this has been i feel like i've learned a lot yeah me too and uh and some of the things that i previously learned they've they've been taped over by these new things. Oh, sure. Yeah. No, you only have the one VHS tape for your whole memory. Hello. Oh, my gosh. Our caller is in a car.

Just talking about how our last caller should have called from inside a car. So this is he was saying that he one of his talents was parallel parking, but then he didn't do it. He wasn't in a car so but how could he hello robin uh where are you calling from i am in los angeles the big easy yeah yeah the big apple the windy apple yeah yeah um uh are you do you take advantage of the wonderful citrus out that way yes i love the citrus yeah best yeah that's a that's a you know maybe that's a preconceived notion that i have that everyone in california likes it no people have a lot of people i know have citrus trees in their yards

i don't because i have a when stefani was holding an orange on that that's right but we couldn't speak yeah yeah or he said he had two uh orange slices over his eyes oh yeah it did colin hanks right um robin do you have a question or a talent that you would like to share um i think my question for you guys is, since you've been doing the Zoom thing and it's been pretty easy, it's been easier to get guests that are from all over the place. When this COVID thing is over, if it ever is, do you think you'd go back to the studio recording or at least for people in Vancouver or will you continue doing some like zoom stuff too

i think we wanted to do keep doing some zoom stuff just to get a bunch of crazy characters from out of town but then we would probably like you yeah exactly uh she's making a crazy face i'm a little weird i can't tell from the angle but I assume you're not driving right now no no no I'm outside my work yeah from this angle it looks like you're buried in a snow bank because of the lights

oh it's raining in Los Angeles it's raining here it never rains in Southern California that's what the song says but they're liars you know what needed that rain though the groves oh sure yeah That's what the song says, but they're liars. Yeah. You know what needed that rain, though? The groves. Oh, sure.

Yeah. The orange groves. That's my last name, Groves. Oh, that's true. There you go. Delicious. And your hair's orange. Oh. And you say you're on lunch break.

What do you do? What's your... I'm a graphic designer. Cool. I work in marketing for a big grocery store chain. Oh, I only know Safeway. That's the one.

Yeah. Yeah. This one's, this one's called smart and final. I bet. That's scary. Yeah. Come for your final visit.

And that's final. All right. We're the price. The price is here. Do there's no haggling. What's the biggest supermarket chain in the States? Is it Kroger?

Probably Kroger, yeah. Walmart, I think, technically counts? Yeah. Or Costco? Because they're all over the country. They're not regional. Oh, I see. What is it? Shut Up shut up and dance no the one you work for shut up and dance did you say yeah yeah the grocery um is it is it regional

smart and final yeah it's on the west coast only yeah cool yeah cool yeah um you're a graphic designer what kind of uh yeah what's your favorite grocery to draw my favorite grocery to draw is uh an orange it's a round oh damn right and you put orange and that's it that's it yeah you know what mine would be sugar cube oh nice yeah three dimensional nice so bjork then okay yes sure uh also uh is there any uh i like to draw a little house is there any food like a little smoke coming out of the gingerbread house probably yeah yeah great a smiley face and a flower with five petals um to answer your question yes uh ideally we'd go back to the studio and i think we would still do I think at the beginning of the pandemic I was like, when this is all over

maybe we could do one a month on Zoom and now who knows when this is all over. Yeah, but in the meantime Dave's keeping us afloat with all his technical wizardry. Because right now it sounds like hot garbage but dave will he'll yeah well i invented zoom uh yeah i don't if anything you should be happy that this is all going on because who said i'm not happy dave zunka that's right Nice very well done

Well Robin on that note Get out Thank you for coming Nice to talk to you bye Bye Two more Kate F I feel bad

That we make people wait So long and then push them off the call. But I guess that's why this is going so long anyway. Yeah. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello.

Hey, how are you? Good. How are you guys? Excellent. I can't wait. Is this happening? It's happening, Kate. It's all happening.

It is. Yeah. Put it in your life highlights. You know, I have a little daily diary that I write. It's one line a day for five years. I'm going to write this for today. Whoa. Nice.

That's a good idea. What year are you on? You made the book. I'm on my final year. Whoa. Five-year diary? Five years complete. Yeah.

Are you going to get another one at the end of the year? Well, I don't know. That's the big question. You want us to decide for you. Because I got it with my first child, so I was like, oh, I'll do all the special moments, write it all down so I can remember it. And now I'm like, God, I don't know. It's a big commitment. Yeah, but we both, Dave and I have talked about it, and we think you should continue doing it. Yeah. Thank you. Okay, I'll't know. It's a big commitment. Yeah, but we both, Dave and I have talked about it,

and we think you should continue doing it. Yeah. Thank you. Okay, I'll do it. Well, okay, I'll do it. Kate, where are you calling us from? California. Surfer.

Yeah. What's your feelings about citrus? Citrus, I love it. I'm from Northern California, though, so we don't have citrus. We just have cold beaches you have silicon marijuana oh marijuana sure delicious stuff

I'm high right now myself and I'm just going to get even higher after this podcast yeah good for you look at my hands and what not you know when they say you know something like the back of your hand hands and whatnot. You know, when they say like, you know, something like the back of your hand,

do you think you'd be able to pick out your hand out of like a group of a hundred hands? No, absolutely not. I don't even think they have any. Oh, wait, I do have a mole on my finger.

I have a really big bump on one of my fingers because I was an art major in college and I made this big like collage where I stuff like trash and banana peels and I stuck a broken beer bottle to it and I like wrenched my hand across it. And I have this like gigantic star. I didn't even go to the doctor for it because I didn't have any money. Yeah. And also you were an artist. This is I'm not going to screw up my art by going to the doctor for it because i didn't have any money yeah and also you you were an artist this is i'm not gonna yeah screw up my art by going to the doctor i was probably high do you still have this art piece this garbage you glued to a wall no what did it mean what did it all mean what did it all mean what was your statement

you know i think it was a statement on art and the meaninglessness of it. There was a display I went to at the Museum of Modern Art that was just a bunch of walls that had baloney nailed to it. My God.

The artist's statement was baloney walls. Yeah. This is what I wish wallpaper was was the statement um now uh kate kate if i may call you kate please do um do you have a question for us or do you have a talent or what's your what's your feeling well i was at yesterday i was thinking like you know what actually i bet i have a talent that I was thinking. Well, okay. So I do have a question.

And that was my original idea. But then I was thinking yesterday, I bet I could sing any of the old segment theme songs from memory. So I was thinking maybe I could try. But then after I had that idea yesterday I went back and listened to the old episode where you did every segment and listening to Summer Lemon I was like oh god I would have never gotten that well I'll give you I'll give you a curveball overheard oh god that's a tough one um overheard nice very well delivered oh um did you say you had a question as well yeah i have a question so has anybody used their question and answer segment to get your

advice on no no this is you know what they should a lot of these callers seem at sea they are lost they need guidance yeah and they don't even. And they don't even know it. They don't even know it because they're just here like, oh, Dave, hey, what about our debut album? Yeah, yeah. And like, how do I get my chest as big as yours? Yeah, Dave. Oh, Dave.

Will you be my new dad? Do stuff. I have a life advice question that i need your help okay here we go um should i have a third child no planet is bad the planet's broken okay i thought that's what you would say dave graham what do you uh you know what if uh if your first two haven't worked out all that well then yeah yeah you know what that's uh no i uh i refuse to give advice on this yeah okay fine well the reason i'm asking you guys is because um my husband is horny he's at the door right now he's banging on the door

well i'm an only child and my husband is an only child but you guys both have multiple siblings so i thought you might have the child perspective on what it's like to have multiple because i was just alone all the time and that stuff so i knew i wanted to have two but they're so cute yeah Yeah, they are cute. They're cute. But I worry about being outnumbered, and I worry if there's three, if somebody always left out. Yeah, I don't know about that.

Graham, you were one of three. I was one of three, and I think every kid, as I'm sure you've noticed with your two kids, they pick up things differently. You try and treat them the same way, but you don't really because they're different beings. So I think the youngest, Dave's youngest, probably was... I was voted best. That's right. Dave was voted best. Three years running. Only three. But yeah, I liked having three i thought

it was fun it was nice to have i bullied them a lot and then they came back to bully me once they had grown up and studied yeah i was i was remembering a time you said that they really united against you yeah so that's gonna happen to one of your kids is going to be two against one. So if you think you can moderate that, good luck. Thank you. But, uh, yeah,

do you follow your heart and just keep the husband at bay? Yeah, I'll do my best. Uh, well, thank you for calling. Yeah. So nice to see you,

Kate. It's nice to see you guys too. This is a dream come true. I've been listening for like 10 years or so. Oh, wow. Well, go say hi to your kids for us. Tell them Uncle Graham and Dave said hi. Well, give them a call. Get the preschool

teacher on the phone. Get them on the horn. Yeah. I wanted to ask one more question before I go. Okay. I just was wondering what A&W stands for. Oh, boy. Dave, I'm going to let you field this one. That's a head scratcher.

I can take my answer off the air. We'll hang up on you. All right, bye. So that was an interesting call, and we're having someone else join and this will be our final call today and we never know we never know well it was of course hamburgers and whoop beer but yes uh but there's our caller there we go and his name is tom and he's connecting to audio tom he's got a shotgun microphone pointing at his head. Don't do it.

Oh, no. No audio. No audio. Panic. Yeah, White Hot Panic. Here we are. Are we at the disco? Because there's a little bit of panic right now.

White Hot Panic's my go-to panic. Oh, no. Oh, it's not happening last caller today and it is just it's gone sideways it's gone what is it pear-shaped is the way they yeah i guess that's the one it's all gone p-tong do you know the one the spanner in the works yeah what is a spanner a spot spanner is a wrench. Oh, it's a wrench. Okay, so it's the same expression. Yeah, I learned that because Rod Stewart had an album called The Spanner in the Works, and he had to answer that same question.

And, yeah, you know. He admitted that he just made it up, that kind of thing? Yeah. Yes? No? Yeah! There you go. Hello, Tom.

It's a little fancy, and we got, like, an actual mic. an actual mic yeah but no no not this time best laid plans of mice and men gang after ugly how's the uh how's the whole live stream thing going oh it's been hella fun yeah yeah we've got a live stream it's a call intro no one can watch well listen i'm not a podcaster so yeah but also we're doing this live so, it's a call intro No one can watch Listen, I'm not a podcaster But also, we're doing this live, so if you want to call in You know the number 1-800-GOT-JUNK Tom, where are you calling from?

How's it going? What's up? Where are you calling us from? I live in Toronto Love it I've been here for about 10 years but i came from vancouver i live there where why did what drew you out of town well i grew up in southwest calgary okay southeast boy over here i know where oh do we want to guess where i went to high school i knew you're gonna ask the high school thing i went to henry wisewood high school

ah henry wisewood one of our mortal enemies in sports, I was told. Because your school was just so weird and big, we used to smoke pot and just wander around your hallways during spare periods. Yeah, I mean, there was a lot of there was a lot to discover

at Lord of the Rook. That's a good idea to go try to get in trouble at someone else's school. Like, do like, go be high or drunk's a good idea to go try to get in trouble at someone else's school. Go be high or drunk at a different school. Yeah, that'd be great to be pulled into the principal's office and be like, I don't even go here. Yeah, I'm high, but

obviously missed that opportunity. When I lived in, hold on, let me just plug this in. When I lived in Vancouver, Graham, I used to see you three separate times at the City Hall station. Oh, yeah.

I was listening to your podcast and every time I'd be like, hey, listen to your podcast. Every time you'd just Fonzie me. Give you the Fonz. Sit and spin. Just walk away. Hey, I would say. Just turn around and leave you you the funds. Sit and spin. And just walk away. Yeah. Yeah. Hey,

I would say, and then just turn around and leave you in the dust. Um, um, now, now, you know, you're our last caller.

Did we tell you that? What? Seriously? So I can talk for like an hour. I mean, I won't be here. Yeah, exactly.

You can talk for as long as you want. We'll just, he's just leave. Yeah. Yeah. And the people will hear just like a long, hour-long fade-out. Nice.

I can bring poetry. What, uh... So, Calgary, Toronto, Vancouver. Rank them. Yeah, what's your next city? Where are you moving next? That's one. Obviously, you get out of Calgary because

I'm growing up in the 90s and Calgary was kind of weird. It was the best. I saw Smashing Pumpkins there. It was great. I saw Matthew Goode there a lot of times. Nice. In Vancouver, I got priced out yeah feeling that myself uh it's a you know we'll see see how long i can hang on for toronto was really cheap for a few years here and now it's much more expensive then yeah you got to go to montreal that's the cheap i tried montreal i like moved out there one summer but realized that i don't speak french

i'm really late you realize that you don't speak french i didn't realize it till i got there and then speak french and i had no money but yeah yeah that'll stop any kind of mall maker was cheap Malllaker was cheap. So I survived. Nice. Yeah, well, you've hit a lot of the big ones. You only need to hit Sudbury and Detroit, and then you've got all the big Canadian cities. You've done them all.

I've been to Sudbury a lot of times and Detroit, and you have weird taste in cities. No way. I've been to Sudbury a lot of times and Detroit. You have weird taste in cities. No way. They're the best. No, they're the best. Ask anybody from either of the cities. They'll tell you.

Graham's only interested in places that have a giant nickel. Yeah, that's right. I just broke up recently with a girl who her family's from like a res just outside of Sudbury. So I spent a lot of time there. And then you say, see you later, Nickelhead, as she left. No. Why? I would have broken up with her much sooner.

Oh, Graham's giving him the Fonzie and walking away. There it is. Do you have a question or a comment? Constructive feedback. Constructive feedback on the... Oh, I've got a question. Okay. I'm not sure if I remember this, but did

you used to work at Tom's House of Pizza, Graham? Yes, in Calgary, Alberta. Yes, I did. Essentially, that was my question. I worked at the South. There was one in the South and one in the North. You worked at the South one. Yeah, one on McLeod Trail. My favorite pizza ever.

Every time I go back, I have it. I have some Tom's House of Pizza. Tom's House of Pizza on McLeod Trail. Yeah, but I think it's like the way I enjoy it is very nostalgic. I don't know if it's good. It was a shithole, though. Like we when I turned 18, we'd go to the pub. Oh, that pub was insane.

Yeah. That was a depressing. It's called something else now. It's like Adventurers or something like that. My oldest friend's dad used to own the place. Shut up. Really? He's gone.

His that guy was Dave just left. They've just taken off. dad used to own the place. Shut up. Really? That guy was... Dave just left. Dave's just taken off. As we start reminiscing about. He's done. He's left. He's not coming back, is he? But yeah, we would have to... If there's a problem in Adventurous Pub,

then we would have to... The pizza guys would have to go intervene. Yeah. Yeah. Cause there were always the, the old like surly, uh, leathery drunks.

Yes. Yeah. I remember a story where the guy who owned it was friends with whoever owned the stampeters and, uh, he, they brought the gray cup to that bar and uh a bunch of people got it and one guy uh took it out and drove around it with it in his truck which i don't think he was allowed to do i'm

back are you guys still talking about calgary pizza places yeah we wrapped up the chat about it but uh it's a delicious time if you're ever in Calgary. Tom's has a pizza. All right. Henry Wisewood High School. Check them both out. How's the, I mean, we only get the news out here. So with the weather out in BC and being. We only get the news out here. That's everything.

What more do you want? Well, being now a Torontonian, just by nature, we don't really care what happens in the rest of the country. Sure. How's it going out there? Is that big barge still stuck? Yep. Still stuck.

We've decided to just have it part of the city now. Yeah. We'll turn it into a community center or something like that. Barge, St. Barge Community Center. But yeah, the barge is still here and it's going strong. We'll inform you when it moves. Don't worry about that. We'll get you on the horn.

When you guys come back to Toronto, last time you guys came to Toronto, I brought my ex-girlfriend. She'd never seen you guys, but she was a huge BoJack fan. And so when she sat down and heard Paul F. Tompkins start talking, she lost her mind. And you could hear her down and heard Paul F. Tompkins start talking, she lost her mind. And you could hear her on the recording just squealing.

Was one of the main reasons you guys split up because she didn't listen to the podcast? You can tell us. I'm trying to think of a lie here. Yeah. It's, yeah. Are there any other questions you have because you are the last caller so you know just like technically we're not allowed to hang up on you it's like a vampire

thing honestly i was i was i was like do i have a skill because i don't like it was like should i juggle or something i have no idea uh the answer is no. What kind of car do you have, Graham? Because I've been very interested in your car. Yes, yes. It is a Subaru Impreza. Like a 2004 or something? I think like a 2007 or 9. It's one of those two. It wouldn't be a...

They had a different nose shape in 2006 and 7. So it would probably be a 9. Dave knows. I had a 6. I it would probably be a 9. Dave knows. I had a 6. I had a very aggressive stance. Kind of like the headlights were shaped

in a way that was like, oh, this is an angry little Subaru, isn't it? When I still lived in Vancouver, I forgot to renew my driver's license. And they were like, no, you got to start from the beginning now. What? Really? Yeah.

I missed it by like 20 days or something. Oh, because it had already expired. Yeah. Like it, well, it had expired for like three years because I was a bike messenger. Right. I missed it by like 20 days and then three years. Also, I had, you know, Vancouver is one of the only cities where they have helmet laws. So they're like, you have

to pay off all your helmet tickets. I had to buy 29 helmet tickets. Oh, wow. That's a lot. At a certain point, you'd think maybe get a helmet. Save some money, buy a helmet.

Save a horse. Anyway, well, we're not i guess uh it's how it's a happy new year to everyone let's absolutely let me say one thing god damn it tom my friend claire's a massive fan and she's 100 listening to this and she's at home nursing a bunch of broken bones from a bike crash did she wear a helmet? yeah yeah she wears a helmet smart she should have got some bone covering tickets

but yeah I just wanted to say hi to Claire hi Claire I hope your bones heal up nice sorry to hear that you're in a bad way but keep wearing that helmet absolutely if we could give you one tip Sorry to hear that you're in a bad way. But keep wearing that helmet. Absolutely. If we can give you one tip,

get that helmet on the old noggin. Yep. And from all of us here, Tom, Graham, and Dave, wishing you and yours a happy new year. And Graham, do you have any last words? Au revoir. Okay.

All right. Thank you very much. Goodbye. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.