Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 731 - Jon Dore

Episode Date: March 22, 2022

Comedian Jon Dore returns to talk fatherhood, Kraft Dinner, and pink flamingos. Also, plenty of hitting the post.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 731 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's in demand, Mr. Dave Shumka. Is that just because man and demand sound alike? It sounds good, but also you are. I'm not in demand. People ask nicely. No one's demanding anything from me. I'm a man. People ask nicely no one's demanding anything from me oh man people ask nicely yeah

that's true and it's the crowds all know to behave themselves i was thinking about uh that song uh too much by the spice girls yeah too much of something etc that might even be the lyric uh but uh at one point mel c says i need a man not a boy who thinks he can and i was thinking like 20 years later i think i'm still just a boy who thinks yeah that's true you're just a little boy trying to make it in the Spice Girls world. Our guest today, favorite here on the podcast, always a joy to have him. He has a brand new album out that you should get your ass over to and check it out. It's Mr. John Doerr, everybody.

Good day. Rock and roll, guys. Rock and roll. Rock and roll to you. Absolutely. What's the name of your new album john it's called a person who is gingerbread nice yes it is nice yes how come why a person who's ginger you'd have to listen to the album i would not want to uh spoil it it's a track on the album um okay i'm

trying to think now i never thought of it before but yeah what are some great albums that have a track uh on the album that the album is also titled you mean yeah the uh i mean what do you mean no way i mean like trouble at the hen house they actually have don't have a song called trouble at the hen house right blow it blow it high dough i mean yeah use your illusion is does it work yeah true does it work for or against the album to have a track title the also be the title of the album i mean who knows i haven't done the research but yeah i don't know boy is was there okay i know thriller was a really uh successful album but i don't think there's a song called thriller yeah and also it's not really regarded as a comedy album it was in

the day but now we look back on it well neither was trouble at the henhouse was a pretty funny album i was to some perhaps i was talking about uh yeah i wasn't exclude i wasn't specifically talking about comedy albums we could veer in that direction you're right i was trying to think of albums he was yeah graham he was just talking about you know the recorded the recorded art form we used to make records As in the record Of an event The event Yes Of people playing music In a room On a DeFranco

And Bob Newhart Was the king Of the comedy album The button down mind The button down mind And Several other Like he won

He won a Grammy For Comedy Maybe the first Grammy ever handed out For comedy I think it was No he won

Album of the year for like he won all over. Yeah. It was a pretty slow year I guess for music. Yeah the 60s. Do you want to get to know us? Yes I do. Get to know us.

John, thank you so much for joining us all the way from up there in alaska um i understand that you have some sort of big news and if you want to share it now this would be the time this would be the time and place my perinicchia has cleared up yes thank god so i went and had it drained i put it off it should have had a look at my pinky finger on my right hand was looking quite swollen i drained it myself thinking uh well this pus coming out will probably do the job and my finger will go back to normal kept throbbing um did i i didn't even soak it in epsom salt uh so that was a mistake uh but i put it off uh to the

point where i should have gone to the medical health professional i did and uh sure enough after a round of antibiotics a full week of antibiotics and a bit of diarrhea i'm back caused by that was caused by the that's another symptom of uh of paronychia that was uh yeah but anyway thanks for asking yes my so the paronychia this is i know every time i saw you you tell me, tell me to smell your finger. Was this related to that? Well, wait a minute. Was me, like you, you smelling my finger? Did that cause periniculum?

No, I was like, because you didn't go see a medical professional for a while where I just tell people like, well, look, I can't go to a doctor right now, but hey, maybe you want to smell my finger. Yes, absolutely. It's usually, I'm always looking, now, but Hey, maybe you want to smell my finger. Yes, absolutely. It's usually, I'm always looking, I'm looking for, I seek counsel in people I admire and Graham and Dave, you're two people that I admire. Thank you.

Yeah. Is your doctor, they say, why did you wait so long? Are they diplomatic and just said like, well, don't worry, we'll take care of it.

Well, the doctor was concerned initially. Um, so, uh, he, he had a, a lot of questions um

he said you can't you know men can be doctors huh so he's yeah he said uh that he said that uh we could just he could just give me a round of antibiotics and i could go home and he but he said i'd rather just drain it here uh so you wouldn't have to come back just in case. I was draining things anyways. Well, I mean, famously on the show, we once came up with the slogan, don't just drain it when you stain it. You got to rinse it. Cinnamon. It's got to be a t-shirt, right?

Is that a t-shirt? Cleaning off the bathtub after you. Don't just drain it when you stain it. Play with yourself. after you don't just drain it when you stain it play with yourself um what uh uh now did you ask the doctor will you be able to play a piano anymore um oh i mean i wouldn't let an injury stop me from playing piano you could take the finger off and i'd still play yeah you can't keep me can't keep these fingers these digits from dancing on the ivory par par parinikia correct i never heard of it before.

Well, it's common in people that work in jobs where your fingers are getting wet. And if you're in a humid and wet environment, moist environments. Moist environments. Good bad. That's a good name for an album. Now that's a title track. That's an album title. Smell My Finger. Smell My Finger, moist environment.

First track. So people, and Juno, look, we're in a rainforest. So perhaps that's why. It's the perfect conditions to incubate an infection in my finger. But yeah, it commonly happens with people like bartenders that are constantly cutting, you know, washing glasses and cutting their, yeah, cutting their citrus for garnishes for whatever beverage you like.

I mean, it could be an old-fashioned that you're getting some orange. Do you work on that? Excuse me, Graham. Excuse me, Graham. Excuse me, Graham. Excuse me. It could be an old-fashioned or maybe just like a vodka soda. You need a lime for it.

Or a lemon garnish for an – Excuse me, Dave. One second, please. Or maybe even a lemon for a Long Island iced tea. There's lots of reasons. Go ahead. Boy. I thought of reasons. Go ahead. Boy. I thought of one more, actually.

Even a cocktail onion for a... Is it a gimlet that requires a cocktail onion? Sure, but that's not citrus so much. It's not citrus, but it is something that you still would be getting your hands wet. Well, then you're getting an olive as well for a martini. For a martini, of course, yes. Anyway.

Is the comedy you've been performing the last while particularly wet they don't do much with apples at the bar they don't do much with an apple at a bar i mean maybe a cider but that's gonna be that's gonna be uh down the road uh holiday season i want to yeah i would like boy the idea of like us going to a bar that's like Subway, where you, give me a little bit of vodka, and then the last section where the sauce is, the sauce equivalent of Subway would be a garnish. So it would be like, yeah, give me a maraschino cherry. That is a great idea. I mean, it's ridiculous. Dave, do you not get a garnish on your Subway?

I always get a nice sprig of something yeah they usually put one of those little swords yeah plastic swords with an olive in it yeah yeah or they would do um i guess they don't do club sandwiches but club sandwiches had a frilly uh yeah of course mitch where did the cartoon thing of a of an olive on top of a sandwich come from because that's never been a thing that people that's interesting when does that pickle no but i've seen the olive stuck on top pickle pierced by a plastic sword and then used to keep the triple decker sandwich together maybe not i guess that dave's got a great idea we're letting this fly by a bar and maybe it's

just maybe we just have to test this at the next comedy festival although i don't want people to think we're joking around by doing this at a comedy festival but what is this at a serious festival we should do it at a doctor's conference a subway bar exactly a subway bar at the next uh gathering of medical health professionals and you would go down the ice sir no thanks neat okay all right come down the line and then after the substantial amount goes in there you ask um would you like that toasted we like that toasted yeah and then well ranch but yeah it would be interesting to see what people come up for it that's like when adults behave like children for sure i mean that's a very kids thing to do but what minus the alcohol yeah yeah oh what about at a wedding having like some sort of candy creation station yes where it's just like

you get to pick whatever your base is your donut your piece of cake whatnot okay go through a one that would be fun that would be great fun for a kid yeah would you like your chocolate donut sliced like a bagel in half and then you can put bacon and lettuce and tomato on it i love it i wonder if they'll do that at tim hortons if you ask real nice i bet they would i guarantee they would cut a donut you may make a blt but make it with a donut you know they're getting up to it in the back they're doing all that stuff the fine people at tim hortons would absolutely go the extra kilometer for for canadians absolutely and americans i mean anyone visiting yeah yeah yeah yeah except those russians not those russians not at the moment right yeah

don't worry once we smooth things out we'll be edited out in the future while we just let's take uh let's take alex ovechkin out of video games for a while huh get him out of there um so john yeah what's up your pinky situation is uh can you show us with my perinic yeah i mean it's still it's on the men but it's better yeah okay yeah oh yeah yeah still red well you see there's also some see this is the new skin growing underneath oh fun for people listening uh what i did is i just showed an incredible an example of a finger slowly healing from a from perinakia an infection when so you're in uh juneau alaska correct amanda you they're just correct i guess correct sorry take back the mondo yeah you know i don't want to throw around mondo it's immature this is uh so you're there's no tim hortons there i assume no there is zero tim

hortons i mean you can't it's i mean you you'd be hard pressed to find a subway you can go inside the safeway and there's one of them but you won't find a standalone uh sorry not subway starbucks you won't find a standalone starbucks oh really really? Oh, in a safe way, Starbucks. Yeah. Is it too much to ask if you had a Dunkin' Donuts up there? We do not have a Dunkin' Donuts. There's basically one local chain, and it's called Heritage Coffee. But it's local. It's all local here in Juneau.

And is it good, Heritage Coffee? It's coffee. Who cares? You know what? I'm not much. When it comes to coffee, give me a drip. Give me a drip coffee. Fire some cream in there, a bit of sugar. I'm not, you know what? I'm not my, when it comes to coffee, give me a drip, give me drip coffee, fire some cream in there,

a bit of sugar. I'm a happy kid. So when it comes to coffee, I don't even know what a good coffee would be. Cause I don't care. I love it. I love it. I need fuel.

Give me the cheap unleaded fuel. Just get me to work. Just give me, give this guy his Java juice. Sure. The engine might require him full of that sweet caffeinated drip, baby. Do you guys remember when like people wouldn't use the terms

grande and vente and yeah all that like just give me they were people were like no just give me bullshit medium medium i'm not joining your cult yeah and now everybody does i don't i don't go to starbucks enough to i have to remind myself when i go to Starbucks, like which one's the little one? Well, there's an easy way to remember it. Okay. Yeah. Tall means not very tall. Small. Tall means not that tall.

Grande. Think of Ariana Grande. Yeah. She's between the sizes of... She's actually pretty small. She is pretty small. I guess she would be a tall. So she'd be the tall.

Yeah. And that's the way to remember is Ariana Grande grande is tall no she's not tall so it goes opposite and then also it's not a grande it's a tall yeah and then venti is 20 and venti is the largest yeah the way i remember that is venti starts with v and so it is very and venti's very good for me. So I'll take a large, please. I love Venti good for me. Ariana Grande is small, so she'd be tall. And then Venti's very good for me. So I'll have that, please.

So I always get the large. Cinnamons it, boys. Cinnamons it. Graham, I think what you were getting at is uh yeah i had a we had a we went and went and had ourselves a kid who's a month old oh shit oh congratulations over a month we congratulated you off air but this is the real one yeah oh really why wait a minute um yeah thank you guys i appreciate it um Tell me about, well, fatherhood. What's that like?

Will you write a follow-up to your smash hit, Couplehood, about being a parent? I do want to write a book, absolutely. I don't know how many people would read it. I would. Yeah, I would too. The audio book would be fun. Fatherhood? Well, Dave, I don't know. You're the master. master you've been through it you've got seven and five year olds so you're you're okay

yeah you figured it all out i've been dealing with a i met emma my girlfriend's daughter since how old was she about four and a half when i met her so i've been so you've been doing some in your words you say you've been dealing with her huh i've been yes absolutely i've been managing a psychotic uh a child with psychotic episodes understood um no i've been managing i've been learning i've been experiencing what it's like to have uh you know a four and a half year old up to now she's now just over eight so um but i've never done it from the ground up from the very beginning from you know from conception let me tell you about that yeah yeah so we're pretty sure that's hey dave it's not perinicchia this time what do you think it is now is it true that you your child was conceived after you didn't rinse it

oh my god honey we cinnamon instead So your child was conceived after you didn't rinse it. Oh my God, honey, we cinnamon instead. We didn't rinse it before cinnamon. So you were going to say about the conception. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

we, we, we had sex and, uh, the IUD, uh, I talked about this in my standup. There's a freebie.

The IUD is supposed to be the most effective form of birth control. Yeah. I going to tell a joke but yeah it failed we had what's known as a mishap i suppose so this was a surprise anyway long story short um we had uh we had great sex tell us more about it what was great about it well uh it was affectionate and warm and impulsive we think we've zeroed in on the evening of conception um and yeah we uh maybe had a little too much champagne something like that we had visited the subway bar and uh you went from dui to iud oh boy that works now question how long were you sitting on it? I don't know. Since, like, we learned about IUDs in grade seven. In this conversation, though.

Oh, I don't know. It works. Dave, you're very wise. Thanks. No, he had that joke since he was a kid. So he's... Yeah, it's one of my classics. Since the IUD failed.

Yeah. So we made love. it was beautiful i was quite good on this particular evening we've zeroed in on it uh i gave it maximum effort um good i did no i'm pretty sure he had a gatorade beforehand to make sure that i had all the electrolytes i need stay hydrated people they never tell you that in sex ed they never tell you that you should stay hydrated you never see that commercial that gade commercial, or Powerade for that matter. But yeah, I... Michael Jordan just...

Leaping over the bed. Got his tongue out. Just humping away. Yeah, so we made what I like to call sweet love. She was basking. I remember her basking in the afterglow of the post coital bliss that I was responsible for creating. Yeah.

Uh, in my mind. Um, she was lying there, uh, motionless, her cheeks, rosy red,

a grin, a grin, gripping her face, ear to ear, motionless, paralyzed. And, uh,

I'll be honest. I, for a moment, I thought she was dead, but she wasn't, she moved and she said i think i think something happened she knew immediately and i said oh yeah you bet something happened exactly the earth shook is what happened it registered it was minor but it did register as one of alaska's earthquakes this year so yeah you can actually look on the chart and it's like oh that's probably yes that's when our child was born right there yeah yeah and even at the lab when they saw that they were like

somebody's having sex somebody's having some real good sex oh whoa i do get a phone call after most earthquakes like yeah just trying to make sure that the fault lines aren't shifting are you some real good sex. Oh, whoa. I do get a phone call after most earthquakes. Yeah. Trying to make sure that the fault lines aren't shifting. Are you having sex? First they call Safeway and they say, have you sold more Gatorade

than usual? Yes, we have. Okay. Well, interesting. Well, that's great, man. And like, so you've been a father?

No, it was great. You're right. It was amazing sex. Not great. Oh, it was amazing sex. Absolutely. Yes, it's great man and like so you all you've been a father no it was great you're right it was amazing sex not great oh it was amazing sex absolutely yes it's great yeah we uh we're a father now uh yeah it's topsy-turvy it's crazy it doesn't make sense it's very real it never yeah oh have you been around because when i i had nieces and nephews but i never really like i didn't participate in baby stuff. Like I, I don't think I had ever held a baby until I had a baby. Right. Have you, are you, is this?

Yeah. I mean, no, I haven't. I had held, yeah, you know, like cousins and stuff who have had children. But I mean, once every three years. And I felt like when I, when it was me, it was like, Oh, we'll put a baby on Dave for five seconds. This'll be funny. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like someone putting a snake on you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. A rubber snake. Yeah.

Yeah. You like fear factor? Put a baby on Dave. Yeah. Uh, well, that's very funny by the way. Well,

you can, you know what? You can put that on your next level put a baby on dave great tv show yeah like i don't feel like when somebody gives me a baby i don't feel good about it because it's like somebody handing me like a very expensive camera and they're like this is means a lot to me this thing so we would we would appreciate it if you held it for a moment although people don't do that with cameras no they don't those are too precious they only do it with children get this

away from me for a little bit yeah and no it is that thing so i think yeah like dave what you're saying is like uh or i think anyway yeah like i when people when i would hold a child like my uh my cousin's child in my arms i'd immediately start to think how does anyone do this this is way too much responsibility and he's only in my arms for what 30 seconds and then you put him away it's out of your life but at no point are you ready yes put him in the in the closet put him in the closet put him in the cupboard hey john didn't i just give you the baby yeah and frank this kid and frank this kid immediately so that's an attic reference so we um but but yeah there's no like dave there was no real well what kind of prepared what how did

you prepare for your first born like were you did you birthing classes etc yeah do a lot of reading yeah no no reading did birthing classes a lot of videos uh books on tape uh no reading never uh and then but the birthing classes were really just like here's labor and then here's the labor and then like at the very end like two minutes of, and this is a diaper. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's more than, so your birthing classes were in person. Did you go like weekends? Yeah.

Or like every night for months? No, I think it was two weekends in a row. It was, oh boy. Okay. In 2016, it was, there was a world cup happening and it was, uh, all the dads were like, oh, we got to get out of here before we can watch the finals. It's so great. Yeah.

No, 2014. Yeah. And you were doing a lot of gambling in the waiting room, if I recall. You were doing some dice. You were doing sports betting. Yeah. You're betting on when the babies were going to, in what order. Yeah.

Numbers of fingers and toes, et cetera, et cetera. Did you use a hospital or you have a home birth? Oh, we used a hospital. Home birth. You know the answer to that question. I don't know what people are doing in Alaska. That's true. Yeah, fair enough.

Well, so the reason, so birthing classes, we took birthing classes online because during the pandemic, anyway, we did like two days, two full days of birthing classes online. That was about it. And then I took a course online for a couple of nights or was it one night, maybe just one night for fathers specifically. Anyone was allowed to join, but kind of this place for fathers to talk to other fathers about their experiences and they'll be like hugely hugely beneficial and helpful and they said that like figure out what type of cigar you want to have in the waiting room yes yeah uh practice your parallel parking because you're going to want to have to come in quickly um leave it out front that would be great.

Just wandering hallways. Where's the smoking room? We're supposed to have a boy. I need to have a cigar. What do you have a cigar if it's a boy? What do you have a girl traditionally? You bury it in the backyard. John, strike two. What was strike one? Anne Frank.

What's an attic reference? Saying let's help hide this child, shelter this child from the horrors of the world. Sure, sure. I'm saying let's shelter the child from the horrors of this terrible universe. Okay. Where were you going with it? Strike one and a half.

What was strike two? Oh, yeah, buried in the backyard. Right, right. Is that one you're not going to argue? No, I was offside. I'd like to apologize. I do, of course. I thought Graham was exaggerating

the idea of this cigar. It was very stereotypical. And I just pushed it a little bit further. Not that it was a stereotype. So John, you know we're very strict here. 50 strikes, you're out. 50 strikes, you're out. 50 strikes, you're out.

We want you to. How much time's left? Oh boy. This is going to get close. You're going to do it. You're going to be able to. I'm going to finish the podcast. So anyway, what's going on here?

So yeah, so we had to deliver. So we live in Juneau, Alaska, but we had to deliver our child in Anchorage because my girlfriend is high risk and the hospital, a gestational diabetes. And one other thing I don't remember cause I don't listen a lot, but then we had to, so we went up to Anchorage and we had to stay in hospital accommodations for a week before we delivered. Whoa.

And then for five days afterwards. So it was insane. I mean, it's a sitcom. It was almost, we were at each other's throats. It's just my girlfriend, myself and little Jackson,

uh, in this hospital room. And yeah, not sleeping and arguing and ordering shitty hospital food. And yeah, it was incredibly fascinating. But before we get there, it was a breech baby. Okay. You know what that means? Sideways? No. Feet first?

Well, not sideways, but I guess perhaps. Yeah. No, breech baby. See, the baby is supposed to come out of the mother's vagina head first, whereas our baby came out my girlfriend's mouth. No, that's a joke. Strike three, John. Strike three?

Oh, no. 47 left. So, yeah, so he would not flip. He was feet down. He just was so comfortable and wouldn't move, and he was a big kid. Well, big for anything growing in your belly, I suppose. I've got a cyst growing. Yeah.

I honestly just had a couple of meatballs. So, child, yeah, we had to have a c-section tried to flip it my girlfriend obviously wanted to not obviously but uh wanted to deliver naturally but we did you try to play the section because did you did you you know how sometimes people like play classical music for the baby did you try to put on that uh missy elliott song where she says put your thing down flip it and reverse it we did not but that may have done it that's what they recommend well we were so uh the week before and it's i mean poor christina so she really does not want to have a c-section and so she's doing anything and everything there's this i think they call it an aversion aversion therapy i have to look it up

inversion therapy they try and flip the child using these techniques and so they're pushing to try and flip this baby and the baby ended up twisting a little bit and was almost about to turn and then the second they left to not left the room but like take their hands off to grab something he immediately goes back in the same spot, but extraordinarily painful and hard for people to endure. So Christina tried that twice and it didn't work. So then, yeah, it was a lot of aqua aerobics and stretching and playing music

and trying to get this guy to move, putting an ice pack on its head, on her belly outside its head, trying to make him uncomfortable and move. Not up. on her belly outside its head okay make him uncomfortable and move um not up so no no it wasn't uh prenatal uh ice packing uh yeah playing music at all hours of night so that it wants to get the hell out of there being a really bad neighbor yeah um yeah yeah yeah yeah all that stuff so uh long story short yeah c-section which is uh bizarre You basically are in the operating room with your girlfriend staring at her head.

She's just a head because they drape her body. Right. It's weird that they let people in there in a way. Yeah. Just out of nowhere, it's like, by the way, you're also going to be observing abdominal surgery. It's like, oh yeah, not a problem. Not a problem. I watch that kind of thing every day.

So you drape it, but you still got to walk around with when they take the child they they yank the child out this is what happens in a c-section they yank the child out of the mother's stomach and then they got to take it away and make sure its testes have descended that's important because i don't know if you guys know this i had an undescended testicle you did i did i had to have surgery to loosen my inguinal ring in order to, uh, take the testicle back down from my abdominal cavity. So it doesn't cook up there.

Um, and then they tighten the inguinal ring. So that's what happened to me when I was in third grade. Now, did you discover that you only had one and, or was it, you know, during a pee time or what third grade,

I guess you'd be peeing on your own at that point. Uh, not me. I mean, not my preference my preference i was but it wasn't my preference um a lot of assumptions about me but well i don't really remember my i remember going to the somehow i came back from a doctor's appointment the doctor said to my mom he's only got one testicle. And so there were two. Just one was hidden up in my abdominal cavity. And it can cook. It can cook up there. And there's a possibility you may not be fertile. Turns out it didn't cook because I fathered a kid.

Yeah. You got some cold ass testes. That's awesome. Good for you. Yes. They're at the appropriate temperature. Yeah. Yeah. While they're checking the nuts and then Christina's worried because they're like, is he okay?

I can't hear. And then you come back with a kid and you catch a glimpse of the surgery and you're like, oh boy, I shouldn't have looked at that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then, uh, tell the nuts, how are the nuts? Nuts are great.

Nuts are great. Why didn't you change diapers? They're perfect little circles. I'm really happy with them. So with you, no one checked your nuts until you were eight? Well, that's the thing. My parents, see, I believe that a testicle ascended into my abdomen. Oh, sure.

Did you get kicked? Well, yes. So I remember being kicked, but I can't remember the timeline of events. But I do remember getting severely hoofed in the nuts i definitely remember it happened like every six months as a child yeah one would just go AWOL for a day kicked or like a baseball tennis ball right it's like that that pain where you're bent over yeah yeah Pain where you're just completely bent over and think you're going to throw up. And it does feel like your testicles are in your stomach.

Yeah. So, um, but that's what I think happened. Uh, anyway, long story short. Yeah.

I had surgery too and it was successful. I mean, both my testicles are doing great. That's great. Thanks for asking by the way, rock and roll. Well, you told us that it was not cooking anymore,

that it was, uh, yeah. Cool as ice or told us that it was not cooking anymore that it was uh yeah cool as ice or whatever you said it was uh cool as a cold as ice that's what it was um honestly mine are too hot they're not they're not up there but they're just always like they're always warm there's just get them away from me imagine how warm they'd be if they were still in your abdominal cavity david i mean you got hot nuts oh hot nuts yeah i like that hot nuts um so do you guys i don't want to bore you but basically the kid's born but here's the question because i only learned this like a couple months ago from past guest mark chavez there's apparently after the baby's born it kind of like poos out some black monstrosity yeah i've never heard of that before this is the first one muconium

muconium yeah is it muconium i think muconium yeah yeah it's basically you know the kind of leftover nonsense that it's been eating in the during leftover nonsense it's been devouring and it's like in utero it's it is tar yeah that's the best description for sure yeah it's like black tar you get a couple of them yeah yeah it just imagine having something like that come out of you it'd probably be such a relief oh my god he's been like well every time jackson craps his pants he i mean it looks so it's therapeutic for me it's just like oh god you must feel so good usually after a nap while he's feeding just you feel him just fill his drawers and uh yeah his eyes flutter back in his head i'm like oh you son of a yeah but yeah no i mean no, I mean, that meconium...

Fuck, I got to look that up. It's... I'll just look it up right now. Google images? It just, yeah, you change the diaper and you think, oh boy, something's wrong. This isn't right. It's pronounced linoleum. Meconium, not meucon.

Meconium. There it is. Oh, yeah. And Google images has a lot as well. Okay. Opening a bag of Welch's fruit snacks. Hope that's okay. Nice.

Nice. This is going to be your life is you're always going to have fruit snacks on you at all times. I got soothers in pockets.

I got diapers in my back pocket. I'm ready to go. Yeah. Yeah. I need like an Arnold Schwarzenegger commando belt.

Yeah, that would be a good movie if Arnold Schwarzenegger had to take care of a baby. I wish he had made one, but. I think think graham i think you should write these movies yeah if maybe he was like or if he was like a kindergarten teacher but also a cop or if he was a man who gave birth to a woman yeah yeah um graham you saw that uh i believe you did you responded to it so you did the uh the uh, alterations sign that I sent you.

There's Dave, there's a place up in Juneau, Alaska. They do alterations, clothing alterations, and it's called so be it. And so it's spelled S E W. And then B is B E E. And there's a picture of a B. So you're just throwing that in. So be it. That one.

And then there's a picture of it at Pennywise's apartment. So, I thought that one's going pretty far. Yeah, good for them. You, like, what other things are you going to have? Do you have a stroller? Do you have a stroller already?

Or is it maybe too small to even... Yeah, we got a stroller, man. Of course we got a stroller. We got a stroller car seat hybrid called the Duna. The Duna. That's what I thought helped you have your baby. It's a great device. All right? You spend a little more...

Click it in, click it out. Yeah, it's perfect. And it's safe and it's lightweight and it's got a little red button to stop the wheels and a little green button to say, rock and roll, let's go. C'est bon. are you sleeping at all yeah lots i mean i tell christina i tell christina like uh i'm going to bed man good luck see you in the morning by morning i mean noon yeah i need my 12 hours you know that yeah we it's weird like he's sleeping pretty well right now at first it was um worrisome yeah but uh yeah it's just weird it is what it is yeah you get a couple hours and then you wake up you change your diaper you go back for a couple hours it was great because we

weren't working that's gonna change soon but like to have this like phase where both of us can just kind of relax and the only thing we have to worry about is get up, change diapers, feed, go back to bed. It was romantic. It was fun. It was interesting. Um, might be making another, if you're having such a romantic. It's so romantic.

Yeah. I'll kill myself. I will. Is that straight? Why isn't that strike four? That's straight four. Yeah. Yeah. Forget that. will is that straight why is it not strike four that's straight four yeah uh yeah forget that things got a little real there and why is jackson a family name or just a name you like

just name we like i mean we jackson with two x's no we went as ckson oh okay that is a question everyone does ask that question which is interesting interesting. Yeah, we almost went J-A-X-X-Y-N. Did you really? No. X-X-Y? No. No, but I wasn't sure if you were considering Jackson. No.

The name. No. I like it. I like the name. It makes me think of Jackson Pollock and also the Jackson family. Janet Jackson. Yeah. Janet Jackson, if you're nasty randy uh michael

uh jermaine did you say randy and michael there's uh jackson what about jackson brown jackson brown jackson mississippi uh the song jackson by uh johnny cass johnny cash nice this is good good there's not like a serial killer or anything with Jackson as far as I know. My girlfriend said, well, I said Jackson's great because Jack will be the short form and that's kind of a fun. Hey, Jack, get over here. Jack Kerouac. Jack, like we can't lose. Jack. And then she said, no, I hate Jack.

Jack the Ripper. I like Jack the name. She said Jack is she said it's too white of a name. Huh. Interesting. Jack. I'd buy that. All the Jacks I've ever met are white. Yeah. Too white?

Yeah. Pretty, like pretty white. Pretty white. But what's too white? Oh, I don't know. All the things that white people do, I guess. No, no, no. Name wise.

Oh, I'd say yes. I don't know. Dave, Graham know dave graham these are pretty these are pretty white yeah yeah white guaranteed but too white yeah i think graham's jack more white mine is too white for sure dave because you know there's dave chappelle right out of the gates so dave is is fine they can cross cross borders but gra... Graham Cracker. Oh, yeah, you are white. Yeah, exactly. You're white. That's right.

You're white. Graham Cracker is the whitest of all. Lily white, I like to call myself. Lily white ass. That is beautiful. Yeah. That is absolutely beautiful, Graham. Please don't stomp on my lily white ass, I say,

before I get a thorough beating. Have you been getting... You don't get thorough beatings, do you? They're not as thorough as they used to be. I feel like back in the day, there was a a lot of punching and then they pulled out my pants and uh you know check your testicles yeah exactly they've descended let's see how lily white your testicles are that was just that was just the doctor trying to check your testicles yeah so he was very thorough yeah yeah i know there's a bunch of canadian geese out here uh out the window and i'm

wondering prior to canada uh but prior to the founding of canada what were these geese called why do we call them canada geese um that's a good question because i feel like we shouldn't shoulder the burden for how shitty they're yeah they're awful they are loud and loud and they're aggressive mean they shit everywhere everywhere yeah oh they can pollute a water supply uh the aroma uh i mean when these things gather around a lake just ask the people uh in winnipeg where the the red and assiniboine rivers meet um they uh literally i'm not just saying uh hey winnipeg that's what it's known for i mean these birds will contaminate the water, and it's a putrid smell in the air.

You can get it from the airport. How are you guys doing? Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm fine. Down we have a park that's right in front of an old bus station, and you can't walk through that park anymore because the geese own it. You have to go around the park. Yeah, they have domain.

So, yeah, I hate them a lot. I would rather that our country's bird would be, you know, something smart. Like a smart bird. Flamingo. Something smart. Flamingo, yeah. Or one that can talk. Yeah, a parrot.

Oh my God, a parrot. Speaking of talking birds, well, if I may, if god speaking of talking birds well if i may if i may borrow uh talking birds in order to uh jump into another conversation here graham so i am trying to uh figure i'm trying to link my my uh gopro to my phone and there's software on the phone in order to set up your software you have to read the serial number inside the gopro you'd have to be an eagle to see that it's so small the serial number i cannot possibly read it it's impossible you'd have to become friends with an eagle get him to read it for you and i thought god what an undertaking that would be because then you'd have to teach the eagle how to communicate with you yeah the alphabet and numbers and stuff

yeah anyway so why speaking of talking birds yeah i don't want you to get lost in my pigeon english or uh right what are the other rock around the cockatiel. Eagle talker. He'd look at the numbers and be like, this is chicken scratch. But anyway, I don't know. Dave, you've got glasses. Do you have bifocals? If I hold my serial code up to the camera,

can you really look at it? It's not going to work. It's too small. Let's not try it. Okay. Here we go. We'll give it a go. I'm getting closer to the screen. It's too small. Let's not try it. Okay. Okay. Here we go. We'll give it a go. We'll give it a go. Okay. I'm getting closer to the screen.

I'm going to... Oh my. Okay. So I have to take the battery out to do this. So it is right in there, if you can see it. Yeah. Oh. Oh my god. Oh no. Tilted a bit. Wait. It's on the white door? Yeah. Not on the door. It's on the white part, right underneath the yellow

and black part. Oh my god god it is magnifying nicely there this might work this might work this might work uh no wait closer closer okay i'm not sure what the part i'm looking at is it four one well actually don't read it out loud on the podcast yeah i didn't see any of it how did i but that totally. I think I got it. No way. Did you do it again? I just want to make sure. And we'll just run an ad here.

Oh my God. We'll do this after. Yeah. Yeah, you know what? You could probably just do that yourself now that you know you can do that into a. Yeah, but it'd be fun to hang out. Like I thought I'd have to be friends with an eagle. I'm already friends with Graham.

We know, we heard you. He already knows the language. Yeah, we heard you. You thought you'd have to be friends with an eagle. I'm already friends with Graham. We know. We heard you. He already knows the language. Yeah, we heard you thought you'd have to be friends with an eagle. That would be hard. Yeah, it would be hard. There's a bird of prey. Do you see eagles up there? Do I see eagles? I see them

right now. Yes, they're everywhere. You see 50 a day. Easily. That's great. How many owls do you see up there? I've never seen an owl. I've heard one, but I haven't seenily. 50 owls. Oh, that's great. Yeah, the eagles are absolutely amazing. How many owls do you see up there? I've never seen an owl. I've heard one, but I haven't seen one. They're about. They're awesome to see.

Like if you. I heard one just now. Woo. Where? What? Dave. Weird. I think that was Dave.

Woo. Who said that? I said. That doesn't sound like Dave. That sounds more like an owl. You think so? I could have. Who's impersonating me?

Who? No, that was an owl. Okay. Someone's got an owl there um yeah yeah no i mean i would love to see now you've seen owls graham you've seen them on the reg or what i uh i got to see a couple in calgary alberta they were in a big nest and they weren't shy they were sticking their heads out of the desk and you could see them with a pair of benox and uh mouse tail falling coming out of the desk and you could see them with a pair of binocs and uh mouse tail falling coming out of the mouth yeah exactly still chewing it it's still wriggling around trying to get out yeah but they're cool because uh you just like you don't see them yeah you know did you ever read the uh children they're amazing the farley mowat book owls in the family i have not no good i was supposed to read it in grade four and i forgot

around to it did you do that book report like well the title is this is one of those titles that says it all and the cover there's a boy on a bike i think there might be an owl in the basket of the bike yeah which reminds me of etT. was an alien from another planet. He liked Reese's Pieces. Dave, you're getting farther and farther away from the topic. Well, which brings me back to Farley Mowat. Yes. The Canadian Steven Spielberg, in my opinion.

Yeah. Because ultimately, E.T. wanted to go back to his family, and that's what owls are all about. Thank you. Thank you. Family and eating mice. Speaking of E.T., I tried to show that to Emma two years ago, so she would have been six years old.

Did not work out. Was she found it terrifying? Yeah, absolutely. Even the opening, and I kind of forgot how ominous it is. Like, it's just flashlights in the opening and i kind of forgot how ominous it is like it's just uh flashlights in the forest and a weird creature and then just a lot of dark lighting and uh yeah that's right yeah so not even the sad et doesn't get to go home at first and is he dying we couldn't even get to that part yeah she couldn't get past the first five minutes um so anyway yeah have you franked her i franked her i just uh strike five uh do you uh have you

have you tried any other uh movies from your childhood that have been uh successes don't hold up or that are like i find that i don't even bother most of the time anymore unless i'm like oh this actually like my kids loved honey, I Shrunk the Kids. Oh, yeah. That one would work. Yeah. But most of the time it's like, I won't even bother. They're going to hate this. Right.

Yeah. And you're not showing them like nine and a half weeks or anything. Oh, yeah. That's from my childhood. Yeah. I know I haven't really pushed it with Emma because she doesn't. She's, I think she's turning the corner now, like eight years old,

look at it. Like her conversations are a little more, you know, uh, she's gossiping a little bit more about what's going on at school. Um, she's a nosy kid. What is going on at school?

Yeah. Uh, Oh, well, I'll tell you right now, the werewolf game has been banned, uh, because,

uh, yeah, Kingston got a little too aggressive. So that's not happening anymore. Uh, well, I'll tell you right now, the werewolf game has been banned. What? Because, yeah, Kingston got a little too aggressive, so that's not happening anymore. Well, I say you rebrand the werewolf game as the vampire game, and you can play it again. You try to get through to these kids, and it doesn't make sense to them. Once it's werewolf in their head, they won't change. Oh, Emery got in trouble. Or, yeah, Emery wanted to sit down in a particular seat in the library but Kingston ended up sitting there and Emory got mad

and so Emma told me that Emory went and read all the books about snakes as she called it he went into the reptile section I'm like oh that kid's going to be trouble Kingston seems to love drama that's what's going on at school here in Juneau if you want the dirty gossip

I like that your kid's a gossip that's uh because i you know a boring kid would just tell you what they learned that day but you're getting like the fun yeah no that's not happening but there's lots of uh there's uh she's very much uh god yeah she loves to she she she's morally she's got such strong uh moral her ethics she doesn't stray her compass points straight north so if something isn't quite right she's like that's not supposed to be the way it is and she'll come home and tell us everything about like everyone who veered off course and every minor infraction so um what's a good example uh but anyway and it wouldn't matter like uh this

person did this to me i'm like like, well, that sounds about right. No, you're not supposed to do that. And if you've never heard her before, she on the last podcast did an impression of John. Oh, she did? I forgot about that. Yeah, that he, she basically amounted to, doi, oi, oi, I'm John. Yeah, she's very rude. Yeah.

Very rude. But that's, those are her morals. And you got to agree with that. You got to. You got to. I don't know if I have an overheard this week. Just letting you guys know. That's fine.

My overheard might have to be something that might. We got to find out what's up with Dave. No, no. I wasn't saying we should start overheards. I'm just saying I may not have one. John, we're not starting overheards. I heard this eagle the other day. It said J230HH. I wish.

I wish I was friends with an eagle that I could finally read the serial number of my GoPro. Anyway, one day, one day if I find that genie lamp. Oh, God. Would that be one wish or would it be like would the genie be like okay you one wish you're friends with the eagle it's a whole nother wish for the eagle to be able to read yeah yeah that's interesting you're right so that's a great question because do you blow three wishes on the eagle reading your serial number you're right there's no other way to find out what that serial number is and even by saying wishes is that is that your third wish where you're like i wish that i could know how many wishes

then no no no that's that's up front they tell you oh okay yeah sticker price well i don't know so uh i hate to say this, but John Doerr television show, we found a genie lamp and we used three wishes. And the last wish, I couldn't decide on what I wanted for my last wish, so I accidentally said, I wish I wasn't so stupid.

And then he made me smart. Oh, that's good. And then he said, he says, you're an idiot. And I said, no, I was an idiot. And it was a beautiful little piece of writing. Um, the gender television show is available online for people who would like to take a look. Who wrote that one?

What's that? Who wrote that one? Yeah, not me. Where can people find it? Cause it's really funny. If, if you want,

we, uh, I have no idea. I think probably find it on YouTube. I'll post a few things on Instagram and Twitter. That's at TVs, John door at TVs, John things on Instagram and Twitter. That's at TV's John Doerr. At TV's John Doerr on Instagram and Twitter. I found your episode

not too long ago. I have a download. Oh yeah, that I have a brief cameo. Did I send you a clip of that? Yeah. Well, you sent me a photo, a screenshot of it. Oh, did I really? Okay, yeah. You and Phil Hanley in slow motion. You know how when you're younger, you think you look a lot older

than you actually are and then you see a picture of yourself from back then you're like god damn it was a teenager at best yeah yes i was a 30 year old teenager yeah exactly should it should have started skateboarding again when graham ran for city council or was it City Council? Yeah. Oh, no. Provincial. Oh, my God. Look at that little face. I have this button with his little tiny face on it. Unbelievable. What does that say?

What does that say? Sorry. Spoil your ballot rotten. Look at Graham. Now, that's the Graham. When I first met Graham, or maybe it wasn't the first time I met you, but I remember we did our Comedy Now tapings way back in toronto we also did a comedy awards thing you were you were nominated in the same category i was

which was best newcomer that was later on don't you think yeah i think so yeah that was later on but yeah maybe it was around the same time but your comedy now taping was, yeah, you were that cute little, skinny little. I was that cutie doll. Yeah. Everybody kept pinching my cheeks. Yeah. You know, asking for hugs. Lots of.

You're beautiful now. Don't get me wrong. You're beautiful now. Oh, my God. Back then, back then, you were another. You were, God, you were. I was crushing it. Oh, God, you're gorgeous.

Yeah, you're gorgeous now. Don't get me wrong. But back then, you were, oh, you were, oh, God, you were something else. You're something else now. But just back then, you were, oh, I tell you, I could just eat you up. I'd eat you up now. Don't get me wrong. But back then, oh, God, you were a spoonful of honey.

You are now, too. You're a spoonful of honey. But back then, back then, oh, my God, what I ever would, I wouldn't do to just, I'd waste a wish on a genie for you. Don't get me wrong, I'd waste that wish on you now too. Look it. How many more? I could go forever, but I don't want to get another strike because we're getting close.

Dave, what's going on with you? Here's what's going on with me. Not very much. Sure. Did you ever get a hankering for something you haven't eaten in a long time? Yeah, Shreddies. Yeah? Yeah, like once in a while i want shreddy so freaking bad but then i'm not gonna buy a whole box of them because i know the second that i have them that will have passed like i oh if i eat that bowl then i'm like

hankering over i thought you were gonna say oh because if i eat a ball i'll eat the whole box no i have one bowl and then i really need it to be in like a continental breakfast situation, so I can just have that one bowl. And I know, Dave, we're finding out what's going on with you, but can I just ask Graham a follow-up question? Please. Graham, but why not purchase the Boxer Shreddies? I mean, they're not going to go bad that quickly.

They're not all that perishable, my friend. You can hold on to them for that next craving. But in Vancouver, you see, there's a moisture level that things go stale quite quickly. It's a perinikia capital of the world. Yes, exactly. And so, you know, we deal with it how we can. We put some baby powder in there to soak up. That's right.

Yes, I've heard about this yeah you you are you once said vancouver the most oppressed of any group of people on planet earth and this is why because of the moist climate yeah and people don't realize it and i have to i have to fill them in i have to educate them which is it our shreddies go bad our shreddies go bad yeah i remember you chanting that once dave what do you have a hankering for? Craft dinner. Yes. I get that one every now and then. And I was like, the other day I was like, okay, it's lunchtime.

You know what? I haven't had craft dinner in a long time. Craft macaroni and cheese for our American listeners. And I was like, do we even have a box of it? We do. So I went and I boiled up the water. I poured it in there. I drained it out.

And then I put the cheese powder in and butter and milk and mixed it up and tasted it. And it was. All steady protocol. This is all. And everything right so far. And I tasted it. And speaking of perishable, apparently craft dinner can go bad and i looked at the box and the box said 19 september 27 i was like i had to google like what what's the year

like did it go bad in 2019 or is it just bad and it'll go bad in five years right it turns out it went bad three years ago huh and i didn't know that was a thing yeah but i i'm i'm in okay sorry i tasted it right away and i was like oh this is off yeah it's the cheese the cheese is off and when you gross when like craft dinner has a very distinctive sound when you like scoop it out of a pot or a macaroni in a pot yeah and it's just like that slippish that's as mentioned in the hit song wop by megan the stallion and cardi b but i'm bothered by the the expiry date uh in canada then because that said 19 september 27 yeah i mean okay how, okay. How is this going to work? Uh, I guess with something like that.

Yeah. You need the year. Yeah. But. And, uh, I mean, once we get past the year 30, 2031, it'll be easy. Cause there's no, no months. Right. I mean, we talk all about how long months are, but, um, the, uh, so I had to google like the canadian standards of that

and then you know what i went out and i got for lunch after dinner no i uh went i got a big plate of enchiladas now do you feel that after that stale stale bite that your urge is finished or are you still urging no it passed those enchiladas really they'll uh they'll you know they go hit what the doctor ordered or whatever yeah they'll hit your doctor in the face yeah they'll smother an urge yeah um the but but i'm still want to go back to this expiry date why not if you're gonna have it said september s-e-p-t-s-e-p yeah okay or s-e-p so you're already wasting uh what do you call it into space integers digits because the numbers digits yeah but or their letters anyway let's call them digits for now for an idiot like me

we'll call them digits characters characters charactersters? So you got 19. Characters. Characters. Thank you. We're a bunch of characters. 19 Sep. No, but you know what I mean? Okay. 19 Sep 27. So why not just write 19, what month is that? Nine. 19, oh, nine, 20, whatever it is.

So, oh, no, but that would be 19. So why not write September 2019? Yeah, why do we need the day of the month? With Kraft Dinner, you don't. So, Oh no, but that would be nice. So why not write September 2019? Why do we need the day of the month? With Kraft dinner? You don't. So just forget about it. And air a month earlier. Anyway,

if you're worried about the specific day, yeah. Cheese, powdered cheese and going bad on a day. Lose it. It goes bad three years ago. Yes. Now,

uh, John, when was the last time you had Kraft dinner? It's been a while i can't remember to be honest but i now i'm definitely gonna get some today based on this conversation yeah and it would be again craft macaroni they have the microwavable ones but that's not gonna do it for me are you fucking crazy if you if i hear about you even attempting to make that david i will i will say i'll call i'll swat your house uh-oh strike no that's fine that's

allowed that's fine that's allowed yeah you're allowed to swat dave yeah yeah but i get swatted quite a bit no that is i made that for emma one day and i threw it out i wouldn't even let her touch it it is gross it is gross but actually wasn't it wasn't craft what was it it was velveta same thing it was that was like my first thing i knew how to cook was ramen and uh craft dinner craft dinner was good because tom berman uh in 10th grade we'd go to his house it was very close to school and he would open he would open two boxes sometimes three boxes and he would make two boxes worth of noodles and use the cheese from all three boxes rendering one of the boxes completely useless this guy's really cheesy yeah genius and you know rich kid yeah don't fucking worry about

it we're gonna use all 30 cents yeah oh how i know it was more the behavior not the money it costs but like yeah just leave it in the cupboard for the rest of the family to discover yeah a lot of those my sister used to suck good what's that noodles are good on their own yeah but if someone's looking uh sorry what did your sister used to suck she's you can't he doesn't miss anything no we had your sister on the show yeah i know she used to suck the pimentos out of olives and then put the olives back in the jar and leave them in the fridge i mean you know the kids that would eat the the uh the cream out of the oreo and just leave the

cookies behind this is a whole new level i mean she could get away with just pulling the pimentos out well maybe that's what she was doing i shouldn't have said suck them out but i'd imagine she did just like and then threw them back in, which is unheard of. It's disgusting. It's heard of now. Yeah, I heard of it just now, but I got to tell you. You don't have to. These enchiladas.

Oh boy. So I ordered enchiladas from this place and they were like, uh, uh, you get a plate of enchiladas with like rice and a little salad and tomato and beans. And they were so, they were like, be very careful with this. Don't, make sure you carry the bag like this. So everything, nothing tips over and you don't end up with a big mess. And then as soon as I got it home, I swirled it all together in a big mess. Cause that's what I want.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what you want. You are what you eat. Oh boy. I in a big mess because that's what i want yeah yeah that's what you want you are what you eat oh boy i'm a big mexican mess the people uh who carry uh responsibly carry a meatball sub home from subway i think that's a sign of a good father i think that's why i'm doing such a uh like your cradle job over here you're cradling it you're cradling the sub in a way so that nothing spills out the side. A lot of irresponsible people are just holding the bag by the end and swinging it. Swinging it around, yes. You're getting your sauces and everything's leaving and exiting the bun.

No, you cradle it. You bring it home and then you feed it to your one month old. You pop it in the microwave. So, Graham, to answer your question nothing's going on with me okay excellent how about you what about your enchilada story oh i see what you're saying um this past weekend i uh got on an aeroplane and went to go visit my family in calgary alberta calgary calgary in the house um land of a thousand trucks they call it's on the license plate land of a thousand trucks um the city that launched a million trucks uh i don't know how

many trucks there are but man oh man i i didn't see a car the whole time i was there oh boy do they still have those uh public scooters or like rentable scooters they had to get rid of them in the winter because apparently people were riding them and throwing them in snow banks. So it was taken away and that was a responsible thing to do. Yeah. I can't imagine. They did the same thing.

I can't imagine you should be riding those scooters in the winter anyway, even if you're not throwing them in a snow bank. Okay. They'll be back in the summer. They will be back. I love them in cities like Calgary and Ottawa. They're perfect. There's not too many,

just enough, lots of open spaces. You know, you don't want them in la or austin it's crazy yeah too busy anyway i have a lot of strong opinions about scooters but go ahead you're talking about being back in calgary back in calgary land of the scooter um i uh a couple doors down from my folks there was somebody who was having their birthday there's a big flag that said happy birthday and there was a big sign that said her name which i think was brandine and uh then they had the flamingo things on the lawn oh it was she turned in 40 50 oh isn't it nifty brandine is 50 get out get the flamingos out yeah so somebody uh i mean look i'm assuming that somebody did it for her maybe she did it for herself maybe she's a sad sad person i had to order her own flamingos

um but there's supposed to be as many flamingos as years you are old yeah but i counted twice and the the only number that came up was 38 so this is a whole 12 flamingos short oh maybe neighborhood kids got to them oh that's true maybe that's possible yeah yeah but do you guys remember that being a thing when yeah i do yeah the point is the your yard is full of them yeah but did graham brings up a point here are there 50 I mean if you're gonna get 38 why not get 50 is there a do you buy them or is like

gotta be a company right they had a sign on it like kookygifts.ca or whatever I actually go to the website I have a Flamingo delivery service that I subscribe to I wonder what kind of money. Yeah, I have a Flamingo delivery service that I subscribe to. I wonder what kind of money is in that.

I mean, could I? Oh, man, I want to invest in the Flamingo lawn art birthday biz. Do you ever think about how much fun it would be to work at a company that originates pranks and goofy things and costumes and all that kind of shit that seems to me like the best work environment you could ever be a part of yeah i don't know if i've ever imagined that in a work environment well you know what i mean i i was i did get to do a season of scare tactics so in a sense you were being paid to pull pranks with help a lot of people that's great and most of those episodes most of those episodes were about uh you know putting a bunch of flamingos on people's lawns that was a scary one yeah well you profile these people ahead of time so you know what their fears are so if someone was

afraid of lawn art and birds i mean that might get them that might get them yeah but you did know like if some people scored high on the religious scale uh and they were christian uh catholic specifically then you knew you could probably get away with demonic possession um right so we did that a couple times gotta profile these people properly you know really figure out what's gonna uh it's gonna make them. It's going to get the adrenaline going. So I've gone, I went to flamingoguy.com. Okay. And they seem to have a lot of, oh,

what's this one with buzzards? Oh, buzzards was an alt one when I was growing up. Buzzards was, flamingos was like the fun one, but buzzards are like, you're, you're dying and they're going to eat your body.

Yeah. That seems to be about right. And they all, they, there's, they're, they'll rent that seems to be about right and they all they there's they're they'll rent you the flamingos but they also you get a big cardboard or like a wooden panel sign with a sexy mouse on it and she's got a bottle of wine that says age to perfection there's so much going on in that yeah what's the acceptable age to give someone

the buzzards oh man i don't know anything beyond because you can't go you can't genuinely go oh you can't go 90 you can't go out you're 90 old buzzard they're calling they wouldn't be the old buzzard but the buzzards are circling ready yeah you can't do it for 90 it's 40s good yeah 40s 40s great i'll let you know when i get there yeah Yeah, Dave's 31. Yeah. I feel like a cradle robber hosting this podcast with him. Those jokes aren't funny to me.

There's actually a baby in the cradle downstairs. Oh, yeah. That's strike one for Graham. Shit. Yeah. You should keep a tally. Be careful. Yeah, so I saw that. that was a blast from the past uh yeah and then i went to the airport when i was leaving and that was the whole trip yeah that was it i saw the flamingos

well the other thing i went to go see my nephew because every time i see him he's like you know at that age like where it's every months, he looks like a different kid. Like he's just. So last time I saw him, he wasn't he was saying words, but he was Asian. He was Asian. That's right. I told you about that. I sent you the photo.

And I was like, does this does this raise any suspicions for you? I was like, I don't know these people because I'm checking my lily white ass. And I'm pretty sure this is not on the level but uh i uh he's his big thing he likes to do if you turn on any kind of music up to the 90s i don't know if he likes 2000 on but definitely loves uh everybody dance now he dances he will dance as long as you're dancing and then even a little more after you get exhausted of the uh the affair so he's great he's doing well is it is it just jock jams have you played uh pump up the jam have you played uh ready to go by republica yeah next time i'm there i'll make a note and be like let's house of pain jump yeah let's get him into some indie stuff and see you know like uh see if he likes morrissey or like you know kind of something

smith's marcy playground yes marcy playground flame sherry fraser that's beauty and uh yeah so it was a good fun time i went snowshoeing oh which i've never done before and that was fun you've never done it before says the guy who's done it once not on a school field trip or anything no i think they i think it's a thing you do once in grade school and go i'll never do this again yeah i think it was probably you could pick that or you could pick curling so i did curling oh and so you go snowshoeing you put on these big they're not like the uh old-timey like tennis racket No, no. They're compact. They've got claws on them.

They're aluminum, I think. Do you go with poles? I went with poles, and it was fun. It was fun as hell. So was it kind of flat? Where were you snowshoeing? Through a golf course that was covered. It had been snowing the day before I got there,

so there was a ton of fresh snow, and so you could leave your own tracks, which is fun. Yeah. You know, your first one at the snow. To know a true pioneer. Yes. Thank you. I am laying the tracks for the first time.

Now, did you rent this equipment, or do you own this equipment, or how did this work out? My father my father your father owns do you just grabbed it and said i'm going i'm how often does he go he goes pretty often he's like a cross-country going in snow kind of guy wow he yeah i think he goes on the rig so did you have a conversation was this a conversation like hey listen before you go over these you know I use these quite a bit. So you be careful. You bring them back intact. Yeah, this is not a joke. Yeah, these are not joke shoes.

Do you pack them? Do they come in like in a case? Or do you just put them and just chuck them in the back of a car and drive them? He has his own case because he's like, his dad's pretty serious about it. He has a case, like a guy who brings his own pool cue to a pool. Yes, exactly. And he screws it all together, yeah. And then when he opens the case on the side

of the road before he goes across the golf course, music plays, right? Yes. Yeah, gotcha. Okay, and so he's very serious about this. He's very into it, yeah. And it was fun. I thought marks, I'd say. And did you get the aerobic exercise you were looking for? Did you feel that heart rate?

I got the heart rate going, yeah. I got my belly jiggling, which is a good sign. Did you go in a circle, or did you go straight heart rate heart rate yeah i got my belly jiggling which is a good circle or did you did you go straight out straight back i zigzagged i zigzagged all the way down yeah okay yeah and is that a snowshoeing technique is that what they recommend or i don't know i was freestyling did you find it was you were able to find your way back because of the zig because you you is that was my trail. Yeah. You were switching back.

Now, did you get any video of this? Did anyone document this? Did you bring your drone? Yeah. Did you have your GoPro on? My drone didn't pass through security because, uh,

yes, it has a picture of, um, a dog being euthanized on it. And so that doesn't, you know, that's not going to pass. Strike two?

Okay. Excellent. Yeah. You know what? That's a double. not going to happen. Strike two? Strike two. Okay, excellent. You know what? That's a double. That's strike three. Double strike? Yeah, it doesn't get through security because there's security dogs and they're like, we

don't agree with this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you made the security dogs cry with the music. That's right. They're like, yeah, we can't let you go through with that. Okay, wow. Snowshoeing. What an expedition.

Yeah. Wow. Did you, have you ever done it, John? I mean, back in the day, I remember going once or twice. Yeah, but not with the high-tech, sophisticated snowshoes you were using and never with poles. Yeah, this is... Do you do anything?

Do you do cross-country or anything? Do you do anything? John, do you do anything, for God's sake? Well, I haven't been in the past. You know what I loved doing and got into is swimming. I'd go to public swimming pools. I got to go to Hawaii for the first time in October. I really enjoyed that and swimming in the ocean.

Yeah, so swimming is the only real activity I enjoy doing. Holding a baby and walking around with it, that gets the arms a little sore. I like that. Yeah, yeah. But you should do, no joke, what about a TV show where you travel across Canada? Not across,

like you travel by plane, but you explore different areas by snowshoeing. You interview people, but it's Graham Clark snowshoeing. Yeah.

Meet some people on the trail. Yeah, you just meet them on the trail and you talk. You set up interviews beforehand.

They're all swingers. You know, really funny stuff of you on an escalator in your snowshoes, you know, arriving at the airport. Yeah, walking downtown toronto this is uh yeah i like this i like walking no matter what it's always in snowshoes yeah and it's simple you know what i mean that's what i like about it it's a nice simple premise you know like a pop song you know

a verse and a chorus good night we're great good night good yeah uh should we move on to some overheards i mean we should try it carrie is it oh yes hi i'm carrie i am psychic ross and i will be reading you this evening oh interesting well okay i co-host a podcast it's called oh no ross and carrie yes i'm sensing that the spirits are telling me it is a show Well, it's about like fringe science and spirituality and claims of the paranormal. Oh, you knew that? You do research online. But more importantly, like we do in-person investigations.

You in-person investigate as well. Oh my God, that's amazing. You see? Me and my friend, this is so weird, my friend Ross, same name as you. Weird. He and I just go and try them all out. And actually, we've gone to a number of psychics. And to be honest with you, it's a lot like this.

It's called Ono, Ross, and Kerry. They can find it at MaximumFun.org. I could have told you that. Schmanners. Noun. Definition. Rules of etiquette designed not to judge others, but rather to guide ourselves through everyday social situations. Hello, Internet.

I'm your husband host, Travis McElroy.. I'm your husband host, Travis McElroy. And I'm your wife host, Teresa McElroy. Every week on Schmanners, we take a look at a topic that has to do with society or manners. We talk about the history of it. We take a look at how it applies to everyday life. And we take some of your questions. And sometimes we do a biography about a really cool person that had an impact on how we view etiquette so join us every friday and listen to schmanners on maximumfun.org or wherever podcasts are found

mannish manners get it overheard overheard's a segment where uh if you do have a little bit of luck somewhere in your veins you might get a chance to hear something hilarious something insightful something scary and uh it's overhears we like the funny ones more than the scary ones but you know if you need to get it off your chest send them our way uh and uh we always always always like to start with the guest always always always john you say you have no uh overheard is that correct i feel terrible i mean i have one uh overheard uh my family was visiting um and uh our neighbor walked by and i think emma uh the eight-year-old uh has a little crush on the neighbor.

A young gentleman, he takes his skis and goes up to the local hill and is an active, fun guy. And my family was visiting and my sister saw him walk by outside and Emma yelled, Hi! to the neighbor. And then she turned to my sister and said, and my, and Emma was getting along with my sister quite well. And once she turned to my sister and said, uh,

that's our neighbor. I say hi to him every day. And I said, Emma, is that true? She said, no. So that's it.

I overheard her lying about saying hi to the person she has a crush on. She was trying to be interesting. She was trying to, yeah. I knew I'd impress the older sister, and I stomped it out. Like the lying flame that it is. John, last time you were on the show, we talked a lot about how you like to hit the post.

You drive around. Yeah, I hit the post all the time. You still doing that? Of course, man. You got to stay fresh in case I get that call from the radio station. For the uninitiated, hitting the post means you talk over the music until uh there's a couple different posts you can hit but traditionally you're going to talk up until uh the uh the

artist begins singing right so of course i hit the post i let people know what the weather is um what traffic updates uh of course i hit the post why do you ask me to play a song because last time you played tequila, which was fun. And that still haunts me because I really wish I was able to talk. Can we try Tequila again and I can hit the post? Well, maybe we won't start with Tequila. I really want to. We should have a game called Hit the Post.

Yeah. Or a segment of a game. A segment of a show in one of the games is called Hitting the Post. I love it. Do you have a song suggestion? November Rain

I think is a good stretch for you to do some talking. But that might be too much. I feel like November Rain, they wouldn't use November Rain to talk over, would they? Maybe they would. Yeah, get something off their chest. Yeah, it would have to be the appropriate conversation. I mean, you wouldn't be screaming and talking about how great life is.

I don't think I'm familiar enough with the song, but I can give it a go. All right, ladies and gentlemen, thanks for tuning in to 101.3 again, your ride to work on this cloudy Monday afternoon. Monday afternoon. Those of you driving in in the afternoon. We really hope that you get out

this weekend and enjoy the sunny weather, because today we got rain in the forecast. Speaking of rain, here's GNR from Use Your Illusion 1 or 2. We just throw on the hits record here, so it doesn't actually tell me. But again, you're listening to John Doerr on this rock ride, and hope you have a great afternoon. 101.1, The Bear. Keep it locked.

Keep it locked. Don't go switching go switching the dial because this afternoon we'll be telling you who's getting the free tickets to the carp garlic festival until then enjoy some gnar on 101.1 the bear all right later on this afternoon you'll you'll have Graham Snowshoe Clark. That was a tough one. That was a tough one. You nailed it. You nailed it. Yeah.

Now, in a radio studio, you'd know when that was coming in, how much time you had to talk. But I was waiting right there. So that was quite good. That was very good. And you got the call letters in. About a minute 20. That's a minute 20? Yeah.

Wow. Okay. What are we going to sacrifice from earlier on in the episode To keep that in? Hard to say I guess A couple of your strikes Dave do you have an over

Mine's an overseen I took the dog for a walk the other day And Leaving the house uh crossed the street and i saw a guy uh walking down the street with big mac in his hand just eating a big mac no wrapper just big mac in his hand wow in uh wearing a flannel shirt and with pockets on the chest in one chest pocket uh thing of fries in one chest pocket, a thing of fries. In one chest pocket, a full Coke.

I love this guy. This guy rules. Wow. Oh, yes. Photo evidence. My God. I didn't think the posture. He should be more proud.

Yeah. You got to straighten the posture. Just keeping things in. There's no McDonald's in this neighborhood neighborhood so i don't know where he got that from maybe he makes it at home and maybe it's not mcdonald's but he just uses the fry container he reuses it every time right house to try and uh and maybe his posture and his neck being hunched down like that is easier access to grab a fry out of your pocket or a sippy oh shit without even uh using the

hands because your hands are full of big mac i mean let's be honest his hat with the with the beer mugs on top of it the hard hat that's in the that's in the dishwasher so yeah yeah yeah had to improvise it improvised with a shirt that is glorious dave great grab yeah thanks grab top drawer gg dave gg bud gg rock and roll. Hey, GG, guys. Do you play online games, John? No, I don't play. What did you just reference? No, GG is when people say good game after an online.

Oh, is that right? Yeah, no, that's not my world. Oh, sure. Sure, sure, sure. No, I'm not passing judgment. I just know nothing about it. No, I am, and I'm just moving on. Before you do, before you do, we am. And I'm just moving on. We have...

Before you do, before you do, we do have Mario Brothers downstairs. Go on. Okay. Before we get to Graham's Overheard,

I think we got a song coming up. Oh, shit. All right, ladies and gentlemen, don't forget that we've got the Carb Garlic Festival

coming up this weekend. Call number nine in the next hour. We'll be... You'll be winning tickets to the Garlic Festival. Don't forget to go down and see hour. You'll be winning tickets to the Garlic Festival. Don't forget to go down and see Jimmy. He'll be doing a garlic braiding exercise for the whole family.

And for the kids out there, remember, it's going to be sunny. So get the parents to put on that, whatever you call it, sunscreen. Or you can get your face painted. That's right, love local artists. And down there, playing some tunes. You'll have none other than Graham, a rock and roll clerk, and plenty of parking. Got clouds coming in later this evening.

Chance of rain. It's not going to spoil that baseball tournament. Make sure you get down to Brewer Park and support the local Rangers. In the meantime, give it up for Angus Young and the boys from Australia. It's ACDC. Thunderstruck on your rock and roll weekend

I'm your host John Doerr with the more Remember to rinse it Before you cinnamince it Take it away ACDC Damn it Now I stepped on it That's a tough one because they do say there is a lyric there's

thunder in there no you nailed it that was sweet no i didn't i stepped on it it's weak at best but uh thank you guys you guys do you have an overheard i do and uh here it is i was at a value village in calgary trying to find a you know a diamond in the rough and i did i found a t-shirt that i like very much um and i heard two girls walking into the store and one of the girls was saying to the other i hope when i go i just die yeah yeah that's great how old were these girls they're like in their uh in their teens they were a couple of teens. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. Yeah. You spent a lot of time thinking about how you want to die.

Tell me about the shirt you got. Yeah. Oh, I said it was a t-shirt, but it's actually a button up, like kind of a Western style shirt. Yeah. Cool. Describe it. It's red.

It's like a Western style. It's red. It's Western style. It's got snaps. Yes. Snaps. Yeah. Is there a pattern on it? Are roses no no no just just straight just straight red um but it's nice it's nice the pockets go to a point yeah that's uh that's are they outlined at all like is there an outline to the pocket what do they call it like a piping a like oh no there's no piping on the shirt yeah okay no piping very nice red red cowboy shirt

diamond and rough yeah um so uh you're welcome you're welcome okay that would be a great thing to say after every so you're welcome for the story uh now we also have overheards that have been sent into us by people all over the map if you want to send one in you can send it into spy at maximum fun.org before we hear this first one oh no there's no way is it who is it peter gabriel who is it yeah you could do this what song is it sledgehammer oh. I have no idea where this goes. But do any of us really know where we're going? Well, you'll know where you're going if you're about... If you're on the Queen Elizabeth right now,

a lot of traffic backed up at the split if you're on your way to Montreal. Would have been best to leave earlier today or tomorrow morning. Traffic's going to be backed up for quite some time. Don't forget to call in a little later and we'll have something for you. In the meantime, here's Peter Gabriel. That was good.

Nailed it. Nailed it. No, I didn't nail it. You nailed it. I did very well, but I didn't nail it, but I did very well. This, I agree. This first email comes from Max from los angeles i was driving to work and i saw a pretty beat up honda civic with a bumper sticker that said future milf the driver was a 30 something

man with a goatee so did he buy the car and then he couldn't get the bumper sticker off or is it his milf scar or i didn't yeah i'd imagine it's his uh yeah it's the milf scar right yeah i yeah i mean boy future milf is probably my favorite time travel movie or maybe he's being maybe he's being funny maybe he's being yeah maybe he's trying to get on our show as an overseeing well Well, well done. Yeah. Mission accomplished. I think, yeah, that's a great one. Yeah. This is another seeing.

This is from Aaron in Pittsburgh. I am writing in with an overseeing. I was at my favorite thrift store recently, and I found an apron printed with the phrase, Daddy's burp and bathe. Burp and what? Bathe? Bathe. burp and bathe uh so burp and what's bathed bathe burp and bathe yeah so is that is that a father that he's bathing uh a kid and burping it or is it you know is it the food that he's cooked up what is the what do you think what is daddy's burp and bathe yeah exactly what is daddy's burp and bathe oh Yeah, exactly. What is daddy's burp and bathe? Oh. Is it like a restaurant where you can eat and then have a quick... Daddy's burp and bathe.

They don't say anything about eating at the restaurant. You just burp. You just burp. That's right. Wait, it's a restaurant for sure, though? Or no? Are you saying what... Sorry, what did I miss?

Could it be? Oh, could it be? So it's definitely... A burp and bathe. I mean, it's got to be... It's on an apron. That's why I think it has something to do with food. Yeah, I don't know.

I don't know. Whenever we have one of these things, our listeners then write it and say, you idiots. You don't know daddy's bourbon bathe. Go to hell. Daddy's bourbon bathe. Is it like a consignment store, like a Mommy and Me, but specific to dad? I don't know. Yeah.

Daddy's burp and bathe? So, yeah, it feels like these are things you do with a baby. You burp them and you bathe them, and also you're their daddy. Is it daddy's, like, apostrophe S birth and bathe? Or is it just daddy's bur and burp and bathe? Like that's what daddies do? No. Daddy's burp and bathe.

That's right. Yeah. Daddy's burp and they also bathe. Yes. You got to be a clean dad. If you're not clean, your kid's not going to be clean. Let's be honest. Absolutely.

That's true. Unless your kid's a rebel. That's true. My dad was filthy and that's why I became so clean as a rebel. Will your kids rebel against you or their peer group? What do you think? Oh boy.

I mean, why would they want to rebel against me? I know. Interesting. This last one comes from Danielle from Twinsburg, Ohio. My co-worker's on the phone with her daughter, and I heard her say, Remember that time you told me you were pregnant, and you sent me a picture, and I saw the pillow sticking out from under your shirt?

You can't play me. I'll believe it when I see a grandbaby. I love it. By the way, I'm eight months pregnant. It's hard keeping a lid on this. I used a full pillow from my bed yeah and this comes up again and again so yeah i know what you're trying to do here it's a motif yeah well in addition to overhears that are written and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631

that's one ugh Ugh. SpyPod 1. But first... Oh, good lord. Ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in to 101.1 XFM. We hope you're rolling down that highway life today and enjoying this beautiful, sunny weather. Don't forget that the Mooney's Bay Volleyball Tournament

is a go. That's right. The bacteria forget that the Mooney's Bay Volleyball Tournament is a go. That's right. The bacteria levels in the water are high, so if you're going to bring those swimsuits, stay on shore and enjoy that tan. Don't forget your sunscreen. And registration begins Saturday morning.

You'll have a little bit of trouble crossing the Hogsback Bridge. In fact, it won't be trouble. You won't be able to do it. Yes, construction continues. You'll have to little bit of trouble crossing the Hogsback Bridge. In fact, it won't be trouble. You won't be able to do it. Yes, construction continues. You'll have to take Riverside Drive. You can access that via Walkley or Heron Road. Don't forget the Carp Garlic Festival is a go for the following weekend. We'll be broadcasting live all day, May 2-4 weekend.

Ladies and gentlemen, tequila. Ah! Ah! Damn it. I was trying to work up to enjoy a beverage like but I couldn't get there. You managed to get the Carp Garlic Festival into all of them.

Well done. Is that a real thing? Of course it is. You've never been? No. Carp Garlic Festival, yeah, it is quite the event. Carp Ontario, just outside of Ottawa. Yeah, it's beautiful. The Car festival lots going on um never been never been but we used to have to promote

it all the time when i was the co-host of rogers television's daytime there you go um the uh moonies bay volleyball tournament of course it's a real thing hogsback bridge absolutely constantly going the only thing i really didn't believe was sunscreen you seem to have trouble getting your mouth around sunscreen and you couldn't i think you had trouble remembering the word sunscreen in an earlier i think i wanted to say suntan but i wanted to get sunscreen out i think i was you know what it was my mind was trying to fumble with uh what is it the uh what what's the block the upf what do you want to have spf good lord oh my god i couldn't get spf out so it became sun screen well guys guys not gonna be using any of these posts on my demo reel no you i mean don't beat yourself up over

this this is just for fun can we do it next time we do this? Can we, uh, can we try it again? Is that all right? Sure. Give us those overheards first and then, then we'll go out with John trying to hit that magical post. Oh, geez. Okay. Okay.

You know what? Here we go. Overheards. Hey, Dave Graham and lovely. Yes. This is Melissa from California with a kids say the darndest variety of overheard. So my mother in law took my four year old to the aquarium. And they want all over the place, all the different animals, blah, blah, blah. And they were eating lunch. And she said, So what was your favorite part of the aquarium? And my son said, going into the elevator and pressing the up button. She went, oh, my favorite was the octopus. She said, you know, my second favorite part were the penguins.

What was your second favorite part? And he said, going into the elevator and pressing the down button. So productive use of time. All right. Have a great day. Off I go. Yeah. If I can just take that kid to an elevator next time.

Yeah. Anyone will do. It's true. Escalators, elevators, why not? They're cheap, too. It's an amusement park. Yeah. When you're a child, escalator, that's as thrilling as it needs to be.

I'm about to take the kids away for spring break. And I'm excited. I don't think they've ever seen a moving sidewalk before. Oh, that's going to be huge. Where's the moving sidewalk? At the airport, you mean? No, we're just going on a moving sidewalk. Oh, I see what you're saying.

I thought you were really going away for spring break. No, we really are. We're going, yeah. No, yeah, we're just going to a moving sidewalk. Oh, I see what you're saying. I thought you were really going away for spring bake. No, we really are. We're going, yeah. No, yeah, we really are. I figured, but I thought, okay. So we took Emma to Minneapolis. Christina had to work. We went down there for the week.

And we took her to Mall of America. And we thought she would love to go see the aquarium. And hated it. Oh, shit. Could to go see the aquarium and hated it. Oh, shit. Could not wait to get out and just go. And I mean, it's a pretty impressive aquarium they have there. And she could not wait to go out and just look at anything but the sharks and fish and stuff. Yeah.

Well, that Mall of America, it's got like two body shops. It's got escalators and elevators galore. Galore. Next phone call. Hi, Dave Graham, Impossible Guest. This is Michael from St. Louis. I'm calling with an overheard. I was just at a thrift store,

and I overheard a man talking to a woman, and I heard him say, you think that's the price for one? Not a set? You think that's the cost of one shoe? right off i go that's great that's great this price is so low there's no way yeah eight dollars oh boy i bet it's 16 when we get to the till buyer beware you know like uh if you think it's too good to be true it is yeah it's one of these bait and switches. Someone may have bought the other shoe. I mean, this may be the only one. It's true.

It doesn't say that there's the pair there. Terry Fox. Strike eight. Strike eight. John. Final phone call. Hello, Dave and Graham and possible guests. This is Amy from Texas calling in with an overheard live from the public library. I work here and I just had to reach a group of teens who were being too loud in a quiet zone.

It was terrifying. And I said, hey guys, you know, this is a quiet zone, so if you guys want to chat or whatever, you got to move to a social zone, okay? And so I thought it went pretty well. And as I was walking away, I heard one of the girls say, old bitch, behind my back.

And one of the boys replied, oh, come on, she's only like 45. And for some background knowledge, I am 26. So they really stuck it to me. Okay, goodbye. Oh, man. Teens, they'll take you down a peg. That is great, though. What a good sense of humor on every level.

It's cool. Old bitch walks away. I know. And the kids will be young forever, which is great. Yeah, exactly. They get to rub it in our face you need those and we need those to be over whispers and they're still over I mean you're overhearing over yelling

because for her to still hear old bitch oh god the patience librarians have oh my god actually we don't know if she's a librarian she just works at the library not everyone who works at the library is a librarian maybe she's the cashier that you pay your uh overdue fines to possibly in that cage like at a casino yeah excuse me librarian um i'm a cashier okay sorry sorry i should have guessed

custodian you'll see a custodian in a library all the time you can tell she's a cashier because she's got that little uh quarter dispenser on her hip. You guys want to play video games? Sorry, I didn't notice the coin dispenser. Okay, David, Graham, before we go on, Dave, where are you going on vacation with the family? Palm Springs. You are? Yeah.

Renting a house? My parents have rented a house and all uh, all the kids are like, we're rotating who goes at what time. And you are, uh, cause you don't get along with the other kids. So you got to,

uh, go separately. No, well there's, we, uh, I'm, I'll be there the same way.

You're fighting with them? I'll be there the same week as my brother. Who are you in conflict with? I mean, I'm, honestly, frankly,

when, uh, when'm honestly, frankly, when, when you're a hammer, the whole world looks like a whole lot of nails. Splinking a hammer. Here's Peter Gabriel with Sledgehammer. Hey, Dave,

question for you. Is there a pool? Yes. Oh, God, this is great. This is great. Okay, I'm excited for you.

Yeah, I'll leave it. I'm just excited for you. Do we, this is great. We want to wrap up the show? Was that three overheards? That was three overheards

Okay Well Let's wrap up the show And then John will take us out Yeah But he hits the post Gotta find the right song for him

I don't know Do we save it for another Appearance No this is the way This is the way to really Go out with the band Sure Oh god

John You have a new album out It's called The Man Who Is Also Ginger out. It's called A Man Who Is Also Gingerbread. No, it's called A Person Who Is Gingerbread. There you go. I was close. I was very close. You have to admit that I was very close. You know what? You were closer than the Sklar brothers.

Because they got like a ginger guy who's a person. They were wrong all the time. Where A Man Who Is Also Gingerbread. No, A Person Who Is Gingerbread. and yeah they were wrong all the time so try it again where a man who is also a gingerbread no person who is gingerbread you didn't change yours at all no no one cares no one cares and it's fine where can people get it they can stream it anywhere and everywhere it's on every streaming thing you can think of um you can buy it on itunes and uh

yeah gearing up for uh yeah i don't know when it'll come out on sirius xm but um yeah otherwise this is your first album right my first album yeah it's a collection it's got some oldies on there and then everything i've been working on in the last uh couple years so pandemic related stuff growing up baby on the way stuff uh living in alaska all that stuff's on there and uh yeah very proud of it very happy with it well i'm glad man i'm glad that it's out in the world can't wait to listen yeah uh and uh thank you for being our guest and everyone out there we'll be in uh edmonton oh sure coming up very soon aprilnd No I will be in Edmonton March 23rd

To the 26th I think that That may have passed by now But we will be in Edmonton I swear to God You know what You know what has not passed then I will be in Vancouver

At the Rio Theater April 21st That's Thursday April 21st At the Rio Theater Nice Well actually Actually. That's Thursday, April 21st at the Rio Theater. Nice. Well, actually, this will come out on the 21st. So you will be in Edmonton on the 23rd. Yeah.

Nice. Okay. Oh, 21st of March. Gotcha. Yeah. Okay. And then Graham and I will be in Edmonton April 2nd. Maybe I'll hang around.

It's part of the Winterruption Festival. Maybe I'll hang around and just hang out with you guys. That sounds great. Who should I stay with? Graham or Dave? Who's got the bigger hotel room? Usually Graham because he's got allergies. I'll stay with Dave.

I've got allergies and I always need a raise. Oh, well then I'll stay. You know what? I'll stay with Dave then because I wouldn't want... Yeah. If I've come in contact with a cat or something, then I wouldn't want to go back to Shad. That's fair. Thank you for looking out for me.

Not a problem. Me and Dave shacking up in Edmonton. Now, here we go, everybody fair thank you for looking out for me not a problem me and dave shacking up in edmonton now here we go everybody thank you for listening and we'll throw it over to john door all right everyone hope you're enjoying this rock ride you're in the middle of it don't forget we've got weather coming up after the break. Quarter after every hour. Don't forget this weekend, bring your stubs down to the festival to have them looked at. Because that's going to take place. And don't forget,

you got International Day of the Walkers on Friday. We'll be broadcasting live. Yes, Mooney's Bay is a go for the volleyball tournament, and the Carlton Ravens are back in town. You can sponsor them, and you can bring in someone to live in your house

from the opposing team, because we need to billet some of these people so that the competition isn't... Anyway, if you want a tournament to take place, make sure you volunteer to have someone stay at your house. Anyway, in the meantime, we're over here enjoying this rock ride. Ladies and gentlemen, couldn't get better than Pete Townsend, Roger Daltrey, Keith Moon, and Entwistle the Who. Nailed it. Yep.

Nailed it. That was a good one. Bye, everyone. Bye, everyone. Bye.