Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 733 - Lisa Gilroy

Episode Date: April 5, 2022

Comedian Lisa Gilroy joins us to talk Disney movies, Disneyland, and 24-hour pizza.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 733 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham Clark and with me as always, he's always gone by the slogan Hakuna Matata, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, like before the movie came out, I was a big Hakuna Matata guy. Like it was, I guess it was maybe my first word. And yeah, but it's cool i've still never seen that movie i've never seen the live i saw the beyonce one good enough good enough um our guest today first

time guest here on the podcast comedian actor you can see her on the television fairview which is having its season finale this week it's lisa gilroy it means no worries for the rest of your days it's our problem philosophy take it dave uh uh line i thought you were gonna say say Lion King. Lion King. Lion King. You've got a very nice singing voice. Oh my God, stop. Am I Beyonce? Thanks for having me, you guys.

I'm in a wacky, silly mood. I'm so happy to be here after we tried so hard to make it happen for so long. This is perfect. I'm glad you're in a silly mood, because that's what we deal in. Silliness, almost exclusively. And I mean, you'll see in the picture now, but I am in my apres-ski sweater, and now I'm absolutely sweating buckets. You can change your shirt.

I can't take it off now, because I have headphones on. So who am I to, what would I ever be able to do? Take the headphones off for a second. We're about to play a little jingle, and then we can reset. Let's get to know us. Get to know us. Lisa, you've never been on the podcast before.

No, never. We're so glad to have you here. How are things going? How has your last, say, six months been? Have they been okay, or have they've been horrible or topsy-turvy what what are we looking at uh topsy-turvy another disney hit song from actually can anyone guess topsy-turvy topsy-turvy topsy-turvy uh boy is it the witches one with uh no can you give us a decade um it came out in the 90s and there was uh, you know what I'm going to say, our first kind of like non-white love interest, aside from Jasmine.

Oh, Pocahontas is a Pocahontas. Oh, no. Okay. I guess there's more than I thought. Love interest. Love interest. Well, Pocahontas is a love interest. Yeah.

No, no. She's a main character. Love interest is like us. Oh, you're right. You're right. You're right. Okay. So, well, this girl is a main character love interest is like oh you're right you're right you're right okay so well this girl is a main character and i love listen you guys i love you guys so much because you're allowing me to talk about disney when the question was not about disney at all is it is it mulan no it is in fact and i'm gonna topsy-turvy i mean

it's um is it live action it's it's animated it's animated yeah it's like one of the old school like i had it on vhs when i was oh it is in fact hunchback of notre dame shit really oh man yeah esmeralda is the goofy movie mashup of hunchback is esmeralda the name of the it's totally esmeralda and you see max who's goofy's son slides on in on a skateboard straight into Esmeralda while she's doing her belly dancing in the street and they fall in love. But you see, the accident left Max, who's Goofy's son, maimed in such a way that he was kept in a bell tower. This is a good, this is good. And they have to keep reminding you, Max, who's Goofy's son, threw up. So all that to say the last six months have, yes, indeed been a little topsy-turvy.

You know, some good times, some bad times. Sometimes, you know, we are absolutely losing faith. And other times we were absolutely masking up and getting out there and being with the friends and thinking COVID's over, but then it's not over. And then anyways, finally getting to be with the boys on the pod. And that really makes it all worth it. It's all coming together. It's all coming together, yeah. And you're a Canadian in America.

That's right. And how's that? How's that going? Yeah. I would say it's utterly gorgeous. It's a big part. Because you're in Los Angeles, right? I'm in Los Angeles, loving it here.

And yeah, I'm proud to be Canadian. So I like to tell people that and I like to hear what little Americans know about. Oh, and what, yeah. What do you get back from that statement that you're Canadian? Okay, well, the worst thing I ever got back was I was in a Uber on the way to the airport and the driver was like, oh, where are you going?

And I was like, oh, back home to Canada. And then she said, but your English is so good. But she said, hakuna matata. Indeed. Indeed. Yeah. I was just in America and I was told, a Canadian friend said, hey, if you, if anyone gives you, hassles you for wearing a mask, just tell them you're Canadian and it catches them

off guard. Oh, interesting. Nice. Smart. smart oh i'm not paranoid i'm just canadian oh oh oh oh sure okay did you try it no no one hassled me well i've been getting hassled outside of the grocery store for like for some voting like california voters and they go like excuse me are you registered to vote in los angeles and then i say no and they go like okay and i because i go but i feel like everyone says no because they don't want to talk to these guys but i want to stop and be like no like truly i can't vote here yeah let's let's get into the fact i can't vote here which candidate is going to try and change that yeah go from there yeah um yeah uh i remember going to new york uh as a as a child uh it was a portrayed in a movie uh home alone lost in new york it was based on me was there that wasn't a disney one i don't i'm not familiar no no i'm not i'm not exclusive to

disney i go wide ranging with my references um yeah i had a woman who was driving a bus from the airport say that i sounded like the news what and you were a little boy yeah maybe the news is different down there you know i guess in la when i turn on the news it's like good morning everyone this is my first trip to new York. That's usually the first thing they say. Wow. Holy crap. Thanks for the bus ride. Top story.

It smells. Oh, man. So you're an actor. You've been in all sorts of things. Tell me a little bit about fairview fairview fairview is a comedy central series it's kind of like south park um i really wanted to say like south park meets like in a really but i had no other show i guess i could say south park meets goofy movie oh wow okay yeah is esmeralda also in this project actually i play a version of esmeralda

nice good good who is an old white racist sheriff so if you can imagine that i can uh i've had very good imagination but yeah it's been so fun you like you uh i see you popping up all over the place you're acting in all sorts of things um do you still hate going to auditions or have you popping up all over the place you're acting in all sorts of things um do you still hate going to auditions or have you fallen in love with the process i i will always hate going to auditions um yeah i got my first like offer this year for something that i'm about to shoot next week and that felt so fucking Like you didn't have to audition? Yeah. Like I just got an email and it was like offer. Wow.

That's the, that's a big, that's a leap. That's a huge leap. Man. I did shed a tear of joy. Cause I was like, just,

it doesn't even, I mean, I love to work and I'm happy to have the job, but more than that, the not having to audition is like a sacred blessing upon my spirit. Yeah. Yes. Um,

do, uh, have you ever, you probably have been in auditions where you have to improv the whole thing. Oh yeah. I mean, I'm like writing the commercials I auditioned for.

Yeah. For free. Yeah. And that's why I always give them a couple of bad takes just to trick them, you know, if they are using it as the ad. That's really smart.

Actually, I never thought about that. Like it as the ad. That's really smart, actually. I never thought about that. Like, go into an audition and just do really bad. And then they'll be like, all day long we've seen actors trying to be good, but you broke the mold. And that's what we're looking for. This is honestly a breath of stinky air. And we love it. It is.

A couple of commercials I auditioned for. It was, they were remarkably underwritten. They're always that way. And then they just get improvisers. I've heard like nightmare stories of a bunch of comedians coming in and everybody auditions and everybody does that makes their own button and whatever. And then you see the commercial that you didn't get cast in,

but the joke that you said in the room is in the commercial. So it's basically, it's like a free writer's room. If you have every comedian come in and improvise your commercial. Yeah. I remember I once auditioned for McDonald's and I was like, but up, up,

up, up. And they were like, Hmm, interesting. Oh, shit. Yeah.

Me and Pharrell wrote that. He was my scene partner. Yeah. Pharrell. It was, it was on Justin Timberlake's first solo album. I'm loving it. I mean, that wasn't the album. That was the song

title. The album was? Justified? Sure. Happy Feet? I think it was Happy Feet. Have you... I don't know anyone who's seen The Hunchback of Notre Dame. Have you even seen

the musical? Have you even seen the adult version of it? I mean, I don't mean the musical have you even seen like the adult version of it I mean I don't mean the porn like the after dark yeah but like there's a theater I mean there's a Broadway musical no I've never heard of that is it like the based on the Disney like the way the Lion King Broadway

musicals no no I have to believe and now I might get absolutely roasted you're gonna get yeah stepping into some dangerous territory here because i know you guys have some real esmeralda heads out there but uh i was under the impression that the hunchback of notre dame was a classic piece of art that was adapted into a disney movie it is correct but i don't believe it was a it might be a musical as well yeah it was a book victor hugo right okay but then don't you like don't you think maybe there was a musical before there was the movie or i mean victor hugo also wrote

les miserables but he he didn't put the songs in the book he did he put him in the in the back he had to open the book jacket and oh they were all there and he laughed at me these fellas just because i am small when i was a kid i used to like write songs but i didn't know how to compose music so i'd like write the lyrics and then i'd make a footnote of like how it was meant to be sung so it would be like this one's like do do do do like if you read the words it would say like do do dee da dee do that dee like as if i could remember what that was so i can imagine that victor hugo probably did the same thing yeah that's uh yeah can you imagine like doing that and then handing it over to elton john and being like you know what to do right you understand. This guy kind of sucks at music.

Is that crazy to say? But he could even read this. Yeah. Yeah. It was because I feel like there was Elton John really hit it out of the park with the Lion King. And then Phil Collins really did an awesome job on Tarzan. That's right. Was there anybody?

Was there a breakout hit on Hunchback that you can recall? Oh, that's such a good question. I feel like it was, well, Topsy Turvy, I mean, was one of the songs.

Could I sing it for you? No, but I do remember her dazzling hip swing. What if I hand you a piece of paper that says do, do, do, do, do,

do, do, do, Then I could maybe see what I could do with that. But, um, you've given me absolutely nothing and therefore I won't be able to do it. I feel like the song, I would guess from Hunchback,

it would be like some sort of power ballad that just didn't really take off. Are you Googling, Dave? I'm Googling, but I'm also like, I guarantee, because it always seems to happen, that they had like an Oscar-nominated song. Oh, shit. Well, what's it telling you vanessa williams was the one for uh pocahontas i think that was a big hit oh she recorded colors of the wind yeah oh i didn't know that and then we had christina giller on mulan right uh celine

dion and peepo bryson on beauty and the Beast. Oh, that's exactly right. And someone in Peebo Bryson on A Whole New World. Okay, Peebo's getting a little greedy. Am I the only one that feels that way? One album, Peebo. Then move along to your greatest hits collection. I could not name a Peebo song. Someday seems to be the single that came from the soundtrack. Okay, and that's the

sad one it's like a power ballad i think someday my back won't be so hunched yeah exactly something like that esmeralda let me eat your lunch if you know what i mean queen i'm from brooklyn um i watched an episode of chop last night where the guy said, I'm from Brooklyn about 20 times. He just couldn't restate it enough that he was from Brooklyn. And he also cooked wearing a funny hat. So, you know what's going on. I mean, you definitely need a thing when you're on those shows.

You need to have a hat or a glasses or a mohawk. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or just lots of tattoos. Um, that might be more important, I think, than how your food tastes.

Cause if you go to a fancy restaurant with a fancy chef and the chef comes out, you don't want them to just look like a regular guy. Yeah. I guess girls can be chefs now. I guess. Chefs. Yeah.

Chefettes. Um, did, have you, are you a huge Disney head? I'm not. And you know what? I'm mortified that at the beginning I said something to that effect that I love Disney so much because I don't want to be mistaken for a Disney adult by any means. No, no. But I just mean like as a child, you had Hunchback of Notre Dame on VHS. Yes, I certainly did you at what point like is there a

point where you stopped seeing every disney movie or was there a point where you saw every disney movie i don't know that i ever stopped i'm still interested in seeing what the kids are up to uh i just watched turning red did you guys see that i have uh five and a seven year old and I have seen it every day. Is it Disney? Yeah, it is. Okay. Uh, it takes place in your hometown.

I know. So fun. Right. Did you feel like a sense of pride that this movie was taking place in Toronto? I really did. Like I, I was surprised by how special it made me feel.

Yeah. It's like, not many movies are set in a Canadian city city no no and let alone like disney and they weren't even shining i see that sometimes movies take place in canadian cities but then it's like they don't want to mention it they don't want to they're just like they happen to be there but this someone was she said like toonie in it which i feel like it was a gamble for them because all their american viewers would be like what is that yeah? Yeah, but you know, you got to do something. Give her the real local flavor.

It's not all maple syrup. She goes to all the Toronto places. She wants to go to David Buster's. She goes to Sneaky D's. Yeah, nachos. She wants to go to Young and Dundas Square and go to the Johnny Rockets there. What was your favorite reference in the movie to Toronto?

I guess... I don't know, actually. I guess it was cool to see the Sky Dome. Yeah, the Sky Dome and CN Tower are in it quite a bit. But there's no... Yeah, she has a Toronto transit pass. Oh, the TTC. Yeah.

And you can see like she gets on a streetcar and stuff. That's fun. Yeah. And doesn't she go to like Lester B. Pearson school or something like that? I feel like that's what I saw in the trailer. Yeah, she really does. And I think you're just pretending to have seen the trailer and not watch the movie for some reason. Yeah, that's true.

Well, I'm ashamed of it. That's true. Well, I'm ashamed of it. That's why. I read this graphic novel that just came out with my kids called Paws, P-A-W-S, about these girls. It's kind of like the Babysitter's Club, but they're dog walkers. Oh, fun! And it takes place in Vancouver, in East Van. And I was going through it and I was like, they go to our vet! I was getting super stoked. They got our vet right! Wow! Yeah, that's pretty good. They go to our vet. I was getting super stoked. They got our vet right. Wow. Yeah, that's pretty good.

That's a good, it feels good, man. You know? I loved Babysitter's Club. I went to the Scholastic Book Fair and I got all the books and it came, if you bought all of them at once, it came with like a Babysitter's Club card and you sign your little name on it and then you're like in the club. Did you have a wallet to keep it in? Hell no, I ain't got no money.

You just had this money I got for those two spent it all in the book fair actually just on the note of money my that was the same year that later i got to open my first bank account and i got a debit card and it was called the fat cat savings club and it was for kids and it was out of rbc bank and i signed a little form and at at that time, I was at an age where I was trying to make my signature look like a whale for some reason. So I was using a cursive L in Lisa to form some sort of large fish. And then I would put an eye,

like not the letter I, an actual eyeball inside the top of the cursive L. And then I try to make the rest of ISA look kind of like other sort of like bubbles or things that might be underwater. It was a complicated time for me and I was really kind of exploring creatively who I was. Yeah.

So I had some money in there and I saved up all my money and babysat and blah blah blah. Then years later, I go to move my money out of there into the bank that I'm using now as an adult and they say you have to sign this form to close the account. So I sign it and i hand it back and they go this doesn't match your suit excuse me i opened this account when i was 10 years old i don't fucking remember what that thing looked like and they were making me try over and over and over again until i

remembered i was like wait was this the fucking whale thing and they made me do it that's so crazy because of course i was talking to dave yesterday about uh used to buy like groceries with checks and like how infrequently you see it but you'd sign it and that was the proof that it was your check which is hilarious that you had to go i also like how much were you moving from account to account? What was the fat cat? Yeah, it wasn't much. I think I had come back to get my like $120 or something. To a kid? That's like a mountain.

That's so much money. The RBC bank has like a lion logo. So was the fat cat like a cartoon version? No. And actually, wait. No, they had a whale. What's RBC but with one more letter is there another bank that's C I B C C I B C it was C I B C

oh okay I love the fat cats account because yeah I definitely had like a kid account and they gave me a little book a little book that you can scan and yeah it had the fat cat was like a cartoon orange cat with like a big stripy tail

do you think you could go to the bank it wasn't you say barfield could you say you were opening an account for your son or daughter and actually open up uh a kid account for yourself and then reap all the benefits what could the benefits possibly be is my question. 10% off of Scholastic Books. Stickers. So, yeah, they call you on your birthday. That's actually, you know what, I wonder, well, yeah, I wonder what it is. Because you can, to me it strikes me as something similar to ordering off the kids menu. Like you're welcome to do it, you're just going to be hungry.

Yeah, my mom used to, so there's a restaurant here called White Spot and their kid's meal is called a pirate pack and it comes in a big paper pirate ship with a burger and fries and you get a gold coin, a chocolate coin because you're a pirate. used to always after we grew to old to eat them my mom would call up uh a white spot and be like ah yes i need to order a pirate pack for my son like like they're gonna start like make her show id when she picked that oh i've done that before i had a friend over to a hotel in when i was shooting in toronto once and we were looking at the room service menu and it was so expensive and we just wanted something cheap one of the chicken fingers off the kids menu but it said there like in a with an asterisk like only for children 10 and under and so I called up for it and I said can I have chicken fingers for my daughter and then they came to the door and we had a whole we put cartoons on the tv this was the most unhinged thing we've ever done and then she went she went she went into the bedroom it was like a

kind of a bigger suite i had like a little living room area and then there's bedroom so we like mostly closed the bedroom door enough that you could see that there was like tv on and it was cartoons and it was playing and then my friend andrea who i won't say her last name because she works for the government and this will embarrass her Andrea Trudeau Andrea Trudeau she was like too nervous because I was like maybe you could call out to me

like mommy something while I'm at the she was like I don't trust myself I don't think I can sound like a little girl and then she goes but I can kind of cough like a little kid. So then she had the TV on. And then once the guy came to the door, we had a little bit of like coughing from the room. And I said, oh, my daughter's a bit sick.

She's really going to like these chicken fingers. I hope they're not too big for her little stomach. So insane for no reason. I love it. I love it. Oh, my God. You shoot all over the place? Are you Toronto, L.A.?

Have you had to go to like a little town to shoot something? I used to. My first job was a prank show on ytv and we used to go to all these tiny little towns all over ontario what was the name of this prank show and please tell me everything about it it was called undercover high and i feel like i'll be eternally doing press for it for the rest of my life um and we pranked like classrooms of kids at a time so it was good to go to like a small town because the kids in Toronto, they're so used to being on TV. And I'm from Edmonton, so I could never get over that.

Like, you know, as a child, there's a camera. Yeah, you get excited. But kids in Toronto are like, what else is new, bitch? Are you pranking us? Okay. Yeah, I don't think so. So we had to go to the smaller towns. That's so funny.

And we went to a bunch of like really rural. Um, speaking of rural, my husband and I have been having a debate because he says rural, rural. He's wrong. Okay. I agree.

Thank you. Um, rural. He also says tutorial. Do you guys say tutorial or tutorial? Hmm. He's closer with that one. Yeah. one yeah tutorial but i think they're both right i just think it sounds down tutorial tutorial

my tutor tutorial and so maybe you say it too okay the more you guys say it the more i'm worried to say my version i want to hear your version okay because i have simply been saying tutorial tutorial i don't want to say toot i don't want anyone to think about Okay, because I have simply been saying tutorial. Tutorial. Tutorial. I don't want to say toot. I don't want anyone to think about me in that way. That's interesting. Yes.

Okay, well, now everyone is. I want people to respect me. You know what I mean? I live in Los Angeles now, and I need, like, I garner, like, a little bit of respect. What type of pranks were you pulling on these kids? And also, does no one toot in Los Angeles? Oh, no one toots in los angeles but there was actually a toot prank and then the episode title was called he toots he scores and it was they had like a hockey expert come into a gym class to teach them how to shoot and he had like a fart

machine in his butt and so the kids are good i mean what can you do right like when you're it's like one thing to prank one person but if you have to prank 25 kids at once, it's a bit of a. It's like Abraham Lincoln said, you can prank some of the people all the time or you can prank all the people some of the time. That's right. That's exactly. You can't prank 25 small town gym students. What were these small towns? Are we talking Brampton?

Are we talking. Like smaller, like Orangeville. Oh, Orangeville. Okay. Never been. Yeah, I've been there. We stopped there once on the way back from a wedding. And there's a statue of the founder and his name is Orange Lawrence.

Orange Lawrence. It's named after a person. Yeah. That's insane. Okay. And and sorry who is orange lawrence he's uh the founder of orangeville oh is that true yeah yeah it's it's like finding out that applebee's was created by a guy named apple yeah so i just googled orange lawrence and you know how google when you google something it'll say people also ask. Oh yeah.

Here's one of the questions. Is Orangeville a good place to live? Is Orangeville rural or urban? Is Orangeville rural or rural? Rural. That's hilarious that there's a guy called Orangeurence lawrence and even that his name isn't laurence orange yeah exactly fine oh wait this whole time i thought that it was like his name was laurence and everyone just called him orange lawrence because he had red hair i don't know

yeah it's hard to say because we don't know i never learned about orangeville in in school how young were you when you were on television? When did you start being an actor? Well, I was teaching high school drama in Edmonton, Alberta, and then I was doing improv on the weekends. So by the time I auditioned, that was the first thing I ever auditioned for that prank show. You nailed it. I think I was 23. What did you have to audition with was that an improv did you have to prank the casting director and whoever got the best prank yeah it

was like so girls from my improv team wanted to tape for it so they asked me if i would come in and help them tape for it and part of it was like because you had to improvise with another person so i just came to help them but But then I ended up booking it. So then when I got a call back, I didn't even know what a call back was. So I thought there was something wrong with the video. So they wanted me to send another one. So then I reached out to the girls and I was like, oh, we got to do this thing again. And they were like, what are you talking about?

And I was like, the email where they said we have to do it again. And they were like, no, I think that's just for you. Yeah. No. And we hate you now because you have the gig. Yeah, it was pretty crazy and then when i booked it it was so fast turnaround that they were like we need you to be in toronto by the end of next week like living here because it was for local only hire and i was in edmonton and i was working

at the harry potter exhibit at the time at the telus world of science sorting children with the sorting hats and tell me about the science behind that. On the weekends and then teaching on the weekdays. Okay. You're just like, bye. Yeah, you know, I just kind of up and left. And I'm happy I did because then I got to work at the Second City in Toronto and I made all my great friends there.

And I just love that place. It was fate. It was all, you weren't even supposed to go to that audition, and then look where it's led you. I know. It was so crazy. All the way down to Los Angeles. But I do miss being the sorting hat woman, because I got to have the sorting hat from

Harry Potter, one of the versions of it, because it was the exhibit where you could see all of the props and stuff from the movie. Oh, shit. And I had to have an English accent, and I had to wear the robes robes and then the kids would come in and the first thing they would do before entering the exhibit was get sorted into a house and i had like a special button in my wizard oh i was gonna say wizard sleeve but i think that's slang for vagina isn't it it is a borat it's like you just did a borat oh dang it i. Okay, well, I had a special button in my costume armhole. Armhole, yeah.

Which is now slang for butthole. And I could choose what house they were going to be in. It was just like this little clicker and it had four buttons on it. And it was like Slytherin, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw. And would you use it like... As punishment. Yes. would punishment be Hufflepuff well no I know you know what well maybe yeah because kids would come in the little shits would come in they'd be like oh I'm gonna be Slytherin for sure and I'm all that's just who I am and everyone could lick my

dick and then I'd sit down and then yeah to put a kid like that in heffel puff would be supreme uh-huh the uh slytherin in the movie everybody knows that it's bad right their bad kids are in slytherin yeah why do they have a bad kids there why do they make it house for bad kids because the whole school is for magic kids so some of the magic kids are going to be bad kids so they need their own room but well when you say i am i apologize graham's a muggle yes i'm a bit of a muggle okay i'm uh did the sorting hat was it like did it talk was it a little animatronic guy and also was the sorting hat transphobic right listen the sorting hat was it had a voice that came over the speaker but it did not have a mouth that could move and i think we just i don't know what it was just like that because i guess if it's on your head you can't tell if its mouth is moving anyways that's right oh you wore it on

your head yeah well i guess i would like hover it over the child's head their lice was a bit of a concern what did it have does it have a mouth in the movies yes and it did have a mouth this hat it had a face like it does in the movies but it didn't speak from the mouth or any were the kids ever like show me what that mouth do yeah oh slytherin kids yeah yeah yeah they were they were pervy i know a lot of people that uh worked at a science world or for center of science that seemed to be like a hotbed of where comedians would do their day job because they were allowed to, like, get up on stage and talk to kids and make them laugh. Yeah. You have any of that? Yeah.

I mean, I think that's right, because especially if you're from Calgary or Edmonton like us, it's not like you're leading tour buses of people through fun events every day. Like there's no you know, there's not enough of that. So leading tour buses of people through fun events every day like there's no you know there's not enough of that so a science world is a fun place to be yeah what's do you go back to edmonton on the rig or not so much well my family's there so i go i try to go a couple times a year what's your favorite thing in edmonton something that you got to go to every time because graham and i are going to Edmonton on Saturday. Yeah. Yeah.

So tell us a cool restaurant or place to go. My favorite place is the sugar bowl for breakfast and a cinnamon bun. They have these giant cinnamon buns and it's just such a nice vibe. And it's still snowy there. If you cross country ski also, it's nice. Snow. Wait,

what is it called? Place is called the sugar bowl. And I only mentioned cross country skiing because every time I'm home, I go cross country skiing and then I go for cinnamon bun after the sugar bowl. And that's like the one activity I need to do. That's well, you know, maybe yeah,

Dave and I will go cross country skiing. Yeah, yeah, probably. That's, that seems like something you guys would do. Yeah, we would do,

we do like a three legged race thing where we have three skis between us. Yeah, it's really important for you guys to do sort of like bonding together and have different kinds of experiences together so you can trust each other in this kind of platform yeah done do a bunch of pratfalls and a bunch of trust falls yeah we do pratfall trust falls no good so if you guys were brothers who would be the little brother and who would be the big brother emotionally speaking oh emotionally uh huh i guess i feel like i'm a little brother i also feel like i'm a little brother now now i regret not making you guys say it at the same time oh okay okay we'll do it here okay ask us the question i'm gonna ask you a new question because i think we just heard the answer to that one okay okay um we both said little brother okay how about this which is by the way the dog from goofy movie mooland okay uh wait mulan isn't the oh i'm thinking of the dragon yeah she got a dog named little

brother i think oh that's really cute that is cute and the dragon's name is mushu yeah sure okay sure so okay if one of you were mulan and one of you are mushu um say who you think you'd be on the count of three one two three mushu oh so you're both gonna be mushu so there's no leader here and we're in utter chaos and yeah yeah yeah you're you didn't let us you we we get to talk it over. The rule is we just have to say it. Yeah, because I wanted to know if you guys agreed on what the dynamic was. Well, that's the dynamic. Two Mushu, no Mulan.

Yeah, that's right. Although Graham, let's see. Mulan cuts her hair with a sword. Yeah, so that can't be me. Graham never cuts his hair. Mushu is Eddie Murphy. Yeah, so Graham does that. Wait.

Graham, you do have a child with Mel B from the Spice Girls, right? I have to Google this now because now I'm like, wait, isn't Eddie Murphy also donkey? Like, how can he be so many iconic wingmen? Yeah, he's both he's both you don't have to go he became donkey because a friend said like if you act in one disney movie or one giant cartoon movie you'll just get residuals for the rest of your life and he didn't know that from already being mushu yeah well mushu is not as good a pivotal character as Donkey. How many sequels did Mulan have?

I guess it had two, because when I looked it up, it said that Mark Mosley played Mushu in the second one. He's good. I do like Mark Mosley. Yeah. Have you seen Mark Mosley Raw? Wears that red leather. Just wear the leather Mosley raw. Where's that red leather? Just wear the leather Mosley suit.

I, for, for the life of me, uh, the, how he was able to record comedy, not in just a red suit and a purple suit previously. Uh,

like, I feel like I can't even wear like a Marina wool sweater on stage or I'll just start sweating all over the place. Marina wool is so fancy. I just got my first Marina wool sweater and the girl at the store said, I'm never allowed to watch it. Wash it. You're never allowed to wash it. She said,

if it gets dirty, you just have to spray it with Febreze. Hmm. That's how I treat all my clothes. I mean, that's insane. And the sweater was expensive. And she told me this after I had already purchased it.

I like, uh, I like Merino because it is uh not it's lighter than air like it doesn't warm me up at all i like it because i can wear it as a sweater without it warming me up i can't on stage i can't t-shirt is like the level i can handle anything more than that i'm sweating no yeah you don't want to wear a merino wool sweater on stage anyway no one's gonna like they'll be like who's this fancy boy but what i am asking is should i start wearing leather on stage yeah okay yeah um i'm sure the person at the store would be like you can never

take these off you put them on once yeah that was like you put like a bit of the parts of the caribbean flare on that you're like you can never take this off like they're cursed have you what's the like do you when you're on stage what do you like what do i wear on stage yeah yeah yeah i'm like you grandma i like t-shirt like t-shirt and jeans usually is the i mean you didn't say jeans i imagined that with the t-shirt there was jeans cutoffs yeah oh cut off okay yeah so i do like the full version of cutoffs with the t-shirt there was jeans cutoffs yeah oh cut off okay yeah so i do like the full version of cutoffs and a t-shirt so you're just donald ducking it up there no no the full version is long long oh i thought it was like the full no interesting so you thought full going upwards and we were thinking full going downwards.

Yeah. Oh, interesting. You're doing the full. I'm cutting everything off. I'm cutting the whole thing off. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. So that was a bit of a Rorschach test we all just did.

Yeah, sure. And only one of us is a pervert. So interesting stuff to learn. I am the one who fetishizes a leather suit in a comedy special. Yeah. You're totally the Mooshu. Such a Moosh, dude. Such a Moosh.

Now, off to Slytherin with you. Dave? Yeah? What's going on with you, my friend? Well, last week on the show, I talked about watching a TV show because nothing was happening in my life. But that was two weeks ago that we recorded that. And since... What was the TV show because nothing was happening in my life. And that, but that was two weeks ago that we recorded that. And since the TV show in question, it was winning time on HBO,

the basketball one. Oh, right. Did you see that Lisa? Never heard of it. Winning time. Wow. Sounds like someone really mailed in the title on that one.

It does sound like something you didn't read his book report would say, I don't know. Make it exciting. Make it something they're going to want to see. What's the best part of a would say. I don't know. Make it exciting. Make it something they're going to want to see. What's the best part of a basketball game? When they're winning? Sure, sure, sure. Winning time.

Can we just call it winning? No, the time that they're winning. Yeah, yeah. At the time. Exactly. That's the most perfect time. Let's call it winning o'clock. No, no, no, no.

Too confusing. Winning time. Five pass victory. Here's what that is. But now, ever since, now I have so many things to talk about, and I can't cram them all into one episode. So here's what. Don't. Parse them out, you know?

We're parsing it. So I, it was spring break, and my family, my wife and two children, we have not gone anywhere in two years outside of the, you know, our own, you know, area. Ecosystem. Yeah. And for spring break, my wife and my kids, we all went down to Palm Springs, California. Woohoo. Mm-hmm.

With my brother and his kids and my parents. My parents have had a place for the month. And then we just rotated in who went. And that was fun. And so we spent a week in Palm Springs. We were in the pool every day. There was a tennis court there. My dad and I played tennis every day.

And then we knew we had a secret that we were keeping from the kids and uh they're adopted and we didn't want to tell them this because we didn't want them we wanted them to enjoy palm springs but as uh as we were driving away from the house we told the kids oh yeah we have a secret for you we're going to freaking disneyland shit so we have lisa you're in los angeles how often do you go to disneyland you've freaky disney adult you know what i i think i've only been once or maybe twice i've lived here for five years and i've either gone one time or two times but and i'm not a disney adult but mickey mouse did come and he held my hand and he led me through the crowd

as if i was his chosen wife and i did get teary for some reason like i don't know why it's just like he's the george clooney of disney and he chose me and yeah it was really romantic and yeah mickey can get it yeah yeah definitely those little trousers of course the buttons on those little unbuttonable access i mean yeah yeah yeah yeah me likey mickey yeah me likey mickey um that is the cutest that may be the cutest story in the history of stories i have a picture of it i'll maybe see if i can find it and send you guys. Because I was really overcome, to be honest. Because everyone was flocking around him and trying to get pictures with him. But he was on his way to his picture spot.

You know how they have their place where they're supposed to stand? And he was just trying to get there. And everyone stopped him. And so he took me by the hand. And then we led the parade of children that wanted a picture with him to his picture spot. And then I was the first one to get a picture. Do you think it's weird that he didn't pick a child yeah i mean super fucking weird totally but was he like secretly saying stuff to you like uh you know i got off at six or i've allowed you all the turkey legs i want or

me likey yeah yeah he did say me likey i did hear that through the mascot head gross gross um the uh yeah has had was that your first time going or did you go as a kid i went as a kid and i remember being upset with my parents because i thought i was too young and they had wasted a trip on me because i knew in the moment i wasn't going to remember this so good oh wow and i wanted to remember it harder but i was like my brain's too small you asked we were i went when i was three and my siblings, like my siblings were at least four years older than me. And I. It's a supreme waste.

But I also never liked Disney things. So I didn't care. So how was it taking your kids? They, so we kept it a secret from them all week because we didn't want every day in Palm Springs to be like. So smart. Are we going to Disneyland yet? Yeah. Are're going to disneyland today can we go to disneyland now um and so we told them in the car and my seven-year-old freaked out and my

five-year-old was like also like freaking out just because everyone else was freaking out and then she told us what's disneyland for real yeah wow how how was she able to sidestep that all this time i don't know i have a theory actually because remember when like i mean when i was growing up there's commercials for disneyland and it was like you know and i remember this once the kids like jumping on the bed and the parents we came they're like we're going to disney but who's watching commercials anymore yeah and there was the she always skips the very end of the super bowl where the mvp says they're going to disneyland they still do that they don't still do i don't know they but they have i remember there was a commercial where these a little brother and a sister and they said i'm too excited yeah that's what i'm thinking of yeah yeah and

abby and i quote that all the time about you know like oh we're having eggs tomorrow yeah yeah taco tuesday that's really sweet but wait dave why am i imagining also like the parents doing something silly oh maybe the parents said it but i think the kids maybe said it but it's like there's something useful about the parents too like they're or maybe it cuts from the kids saying that to the parents like jumping on the bed saying they're too excited to sleep or something there's something goes on with the parents yeah and the dad's like well if you can't sleep maybe i got an idea and the mom's like oh let me that's right and then he comes out in that mickey mouse lingerie which is the trousers that unbutton in the front belly dances to topsy-turvy man i feel like disney adults do be fucking like that yeah more like disney adults oh my god um so you've never come across an adult disney person

yes many yeah they're really they're all living here yeah and they and they have annual passes You have never come across an adult Disney person, have you? Yes, many. Yeah. Really? They're all living here. Yeah. And they have annual passes and they go like every weekend. That's wild. It's really weird. So we encountered quite a few of these people. There's a lot of, there's a big culture. We went one day to Disneyland and the other day to California Adventure which are side by side. Yes.

And Disneyland is more Disney-y but so is California Adventure but California Adventure is supposed to like feel like you know like the boardwalk. Yes. And so. I don't know like I'm saying it like I know what's on the boardwalk. Well it's just like I don't know it's'm just i'm saying it like i know what's on the boardwalk but well it's just like i don't know it's like it's supposed to be seaside it's like you walk out onto a pier and stuff the so there's like tons of people with like disney it's a big thing to go with like matching shirts like oh god yeah and disney doesn't mind if you have like used their

logo like everyone's got a little just like a homemade shirt with the disney logo like disney And Disney doesn't mind if you have used their logo. Everyone's got just a homemade shirt with the Disney logo. Like, Disney trip 2022. Or 2020 crossed out in 2022. Thanks a lot, COVID. Oh, God. Wow. And there's a lot of Disney dad, Disney son, birthday boy.

Disney husband, Disney wife. And then there was one, some people had a shirt that said, Disney's better with cousins. And it was just a bunch of cousins together. Oh, that's kind of sweet. Yeah. Disney's better with cousins. I only have two cousins, so this really pulls at my heartstrings in a way that I wish I could take a big Disney trip with all my cousins.

It'd be easy. Just the two of them and you. Yeah, but doesn't that strike you? I mean, how many cousins do you guys have? I have four. Oh. I've got dozens. Dozens of cousins.

See, I feel like most people I talk to are like, I don't know. I have like 42. I don't even know all their names. I'm like, you greedy pig. I only have two. I have cousins who are like, yeah. I think there's like probably over 20, a 20 year span of cousins in my family. So Disney would be more fun with cousins, wouldn't it?

I mean, some of them. Not the ones who are like, man, those protesting truckers have a good point. Oh, right, right. Some cousins are like that. Convoy cousin. Anyway, so we went. The kids did great. They were like, you know, it's a big ask to have them

walking around in the heat from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. And they were like, oh, some of the oldest kids you've ever seen in a stroller. Wait, they were in a stroller? No, but there were like, oh, some of the oldest kids you've ever seen in a stroller. Oh, wow. Wait, they were in a stroller? No.

Oh. But there were like 12-year-olds in strollers. If I could get away with it now, I'd still take a stroller everywhere I went. Yeah. You could get a wheelchair, Graham. No, but I want to be able to lean back and drink juice. Oh, okay. Because a wheelchair, nah, you're very upright.

You know what I mean? Right, right, right. Too much work. Yeah. I want something I can fall asleep in. Yeah. Take me around the park. Like a pram. But it's like a magic kingdom there.

It's sort of like. What do you mean it's like a magic kingdom? I mean, it's kind of like. It is the magic kingdom, is it not? Well, it's like one of the happiest places on earth. Right. Okay. So again, using a bit of a, something it's already known as, but.

I think it's kind of like a magical kind of kingdom right right um and it's remarkably not like it's so expensive to go but this is what i don't understand about because you're right the sheer volume of disney shirts are like homemade it's like it's also not cheap to have a t-shirt made so if i was going to take my family to a thousand a place that costs a thousand dollars just to walk into it i would not be doing like oh on top of that everyone gets a 25 shirt right also is there a bouncer at the gates that looks for the cool kids and says come come on yeah yeah yeah you hey you can you want to meet you want to meet disney man well if it's your birthday you get a little badge and you get you

get treated like pretty good yeah you get a little badge if it's your first time yeah and if it's your anniversary wow i guess a lot of people have gotten married in disneyland we saw a wedding though the like the first day we were there uh at the disney hotel they had um they had a couple come like the bride came in on cinderella's you know uh carriage and they went cinderella slip and slide yeah and they had like a wedding right there and we had a little look at it and that was about it okay i i just remembered the first time i went to disney was before i moved to la because we went my husband and I went when we were in college. We got married really young, and we were still in college, and we had a super cheap wedding, and then we couldn't afford a honeymoon.

So then after we graduated, we went to the Bahamas and stayed in a hostel, and then we went to Disney on the way home. Nice. We were so poor that we got those, and I had never seen these in Canada. They're called like smack, smackables, smuckables. Oh,

uncrustables. Uncrustables. Uncrustables. That's right. Do they have those in Canada now? Cause at the time we had never seen them before. I don't think so. No,

I've never seen them around. Do you know what they are, Graham? No. Can you guess from the title? They're some sort of pizza instant thing in a box that you put together or something like that. So close, but guess what? It's actually a PB&J pizza pocket.

Ah, oh shit. It's like it's pinched together at the side, so there is no crust. And it's like you can't, you know what I mean? It looks like a pizza pie. It's not frozen though, is it? No. Okay. But that's not going to stop you from microwaving it though.

Oh, sure. No, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So it was great. We went on all these rides. The highlight for me was it was 32 degrees out. Like about 90 for our american listeners and uh there's like a little eating area and a woman next to me in that meal you gotta have a little nap yeah

oh man yeah that's uh like disneyland like it's probably more expensive to eat than if you went out like drinking all night the eating was remarkably reasonable but then i remembered oh yeah they they paid they charged me four figures to take my family in for the day. But that's what I was saying about the Uncrustables is because we just bought like four of those each and put them in the backpack for the day. So we were having those morning, noon, and night. That was the only thing we were living on. That's really smart. We definitely loaded up on, you know, fruit snacks.

Did you have a turkey leg? No. I saw turkey legs and that was good enough. I had some churros. Oh, nice. Yeah. And, uh, some pretzels shaped like Mickey Mouse. Nice.

That's good branding. Yeah. Um, uh, so you had a good time. Had a good trip. Uh, I, if you, if people are interested in going to Disneyland, I recommend checking it out. It's like kind of a sort of this. Stop. It's like a magic kind of courtyard. Oh, I just found my Presto Pass.

I didn't bring it to Toronto with me. I feel like an idiot. What's a Presto Pass. I didn't bring it to Toronto with me. I feel like an idiot. What's a Presto Pass? Like a, you know, tap in, tap out on the train. Train pass. Or a bus pass, I guess. A streetcar pass as well. Anyway.

You just found it? Yeah, I was just looking off to the side and it was right next to this lamp. But when I got to Toronto, I was like, why? I couldn't find it anywhere. Graham, when I'm talking, don't look off to the side. Yeah, don't be rooting around in old knapsacks you have. It's a bit rude to all of us. Okay, Gabe, well, I guess we're done talking about me.

What's going on with you, Graham? Jeez. Well, I went to Toronto, and that's why I'm bemoaning the fact that I didn't bring my Presto card with me. Here's what I did, And I never do this. I rode on transit for free. I freeloaded in the city because I didn't have my card, didn't have a Presto card, and I didn't feel like getting through

and putting the thing on my card. That could have been the most expensive ride of your life, brother. I know I felt wild while I was doing it. Not including a plane ride. Didn't you think, how sad will I be if I get a ticket? Did that ever cross your mind? Yeah, the whole time I was like, they're going to come on.

They're going to bust me. But I didn't know. How would you bust people if everybody's got a card? You say, show me your card, sir. And you'll say it's at home by my lamp on my table. You can buy it. Right next to my co-host's face on my screen. Yeah, so I went to Toronto.

What for? I was working on a work trip, selling insurance and insurance-related products. Yeah, insurance, paraphernalia. Neck braces, casts, these type of things. Merch. Insurance merch. Yeah, I'd sell merch. Merch. Yeah. Merch. Uh, and,

um, I was there, I was staying in a hotel, downtown Toronto. You know it, right? You know, downtown Toronto,

right? What was the hotel? It was the Hyatt. Oh yeah. The Hyatt. Yes. Yeah. You just got to walk.

You go right over to the convention center there. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a great place to stay. It's no Disneyland, but, uh but uh you know their food service is pretty good their breakfast is really good yeah it's not a disneyland but it's pretty close to a ripley's believe it or not that is true yeah it's just a couple blocks away and the hockey hall of fame is kind of like disneyland for us puck heads yeah that's true but like so here's i uh

wanted to have pizza one night and i was i was so hungry and uh myself and my co-worker nicole went down to the lobby and said like do you happen to know if boston pizza is open this late and the guy's like yeah but you're not have you ever been to boston Pizza is open this late? And the guy's like, yeah, but you're not. Have you ever been to Boston Pizza? And I was like, yeah, yeah. And he's like, do you know that it's bad? Really? And he said, don't go to Boston Pizza.

Just go around the corner. Panago. Is there a Panago? No, this is an all. This is a gourmet pizza place. It is 24 hours. What's it called? Rustica.

Oh, yeah. You're familiar with Rustica? One of my closest friends used to work there, yeah. I've never seen anything, I've never seen it equal. Is it like wood fire pizza? Like, but 24 hours. They've got their, boy, what's the carbon footprint of this place? Burning wood. hours they've got their boy what's the carbon footprint of this place burning wood but the other thing was is this was like 11 30 at night and there was the place still had people in it

like we weren't just the you know local losers there were all sorts of people it's weird because we live in a city that is notoriously boring but also there's a pandemic and people don't go out because of that that's true yeah what was it like in there what's the vibe in ontario right now um people masked were they frightened or were they just enjoying their pizza in a jolly way i think oh the in the restaurant no nobody was wearing masks in the restaurant but uh that's the only restaurant i went to the whole time i was there and there weren't there was only the the server and then a table far away had some people on a table next to them had some people and uh the pizza was i had a calzone which really isn't a slice of pizza but it was delicious i want to

say it was the best calzone i've ever had in my life but you know i to factor in pizza pops into that equation. Sure. Have you ever had a Pizza Hut Pizzone? No, I never had a Pizzone. Me neither. What is it? What is it like scientifically? I don't know. It's like just a pizza folded over, I think. Oh, so a pizza.

It's sort of like an uncomfortable pizza. So it is a pizza, technically. It's like a pizza pop. It's a poorly delivered pizza. I used to work at Panago. I think panago is the best pizza in the entire nation to be honest really wow okay big words what's their uh what's their go-to pizza for you i mean there's the panago classic but every place has got a thing like that but i love the barbecue chicken um they they used to have this thing called the veggie shawarma they there

was also a taco pizza at one point that would come out of the oven. And at the end, you would put like sour cream and lettuce and more cheese on top. And when we got a new guy working there, he put all the lettuce on before he ran it through the oven. So it was utterly disgusting because he didn't know. That's what Quiznos does. Oh, they toast your thing with lettuce on it? Yeah. Whoa, that's the problem.

Intentionally? No, it's an accident every time they always go oops here's your quiznos that's the lettuce the uh are you so you are you a big pizza fan oh yeah yeah i love this stuff i can't get enough see the goofy movie in theaters this april um my kids so they at my kids school they do hot lunch twice a week and there's like a rotating um uh menu and like there's sushi day and uh pasta day and then she is not hot that's true that's true yeah uh unless you work at Quiznos and get their limited edition. But they have, one of them is pizza day and they bring in Boston pizza. And my daughters have said, this is the best pizza we've ever had. Really?

Okay, because I do think Boston pizza is bad. I think their toppings are really good, but their crust is always bad. The dough is bad. Something is their toppings are really good, but their crust is always bad. The dough is bad. Something is rotten with the dough formula. Yeah. And I've only ever been to a Boston pizza drunk. I've never been in a sober state. Well, my kids are pretty drunk by lunchtime.

Yeah. You're allowed to drink in Disneyland now. No, this is in school. Oh yeah. You're allowed to drink at school. It's cool. Yeah.

So anyways, I discovered this fantastic Pizza restaurant Our server was like a goth Real gothy gal And you know what? It wasn't that expensive either But just imagine if I had gone to Boston Pizza When this like beautiful

Pizza restaurant was just steps away That's why you talk to the concierge that's right yeah you gotta get uh the locals this guy said he goes there twice a week so you know it had to be good or bad and he just didn't know what he's talking about yeah that's true this guy's addicted um well uh do you guys want to move on some Overherds? Yeah. Yeah, let's do it. Hey, were you a reader as a kid? Like maybe you read a lot of fantasy novels. Or horse girl books.

We know how it is. But now you're an adult and you miss reading. You're so busy and you can't figure out how to get back into books. We're Reading Glasses and we're here to help. Yeah, we'll give you advice to figure out what books you love or learn to stop reading books you don't even like. We're really big proponents of dumping that book. Dump that book!

But most importantly, we'll help you fall back in love with reading. Reading Glasses, every Thursday on Maximum Fun. Congratulations! Thursday on Maximum Fun. Congratulations, you've won a ticket to attend an exclusive opportunity in a relaxing environment with two lovers. Wow. Well, this sounds like a sort of proposition of sorts, but really, it's an ad for our podcast. Wonderful. It's a show we do here on Maximum Fun, where we talk about things that we like and things that we're into. I'm Rachel McElroy and you just heard Griffin McElroy and we are excited for you to join us as we talk about movies and music and books. Things like sneezing or the idea of rain.

Can you get news or information you can use? Absolutely you cannot because we're here to talk to you about pumpernickel bread. You can find new episodes on Wednesdays. So catch the wave. Overheard. Overheard's a segment where, you know what, if out of the clear blue sky something funny comes your way, don't just hold it in. Let it out. Let it out here on the show and we like to start

with the guest lisa do you have an overheard i sure do whoa are you a singer you're like a famous singer you guys thank you so much um i did find myself i had to get covid tested for a shoot and it was like you know they sent me all the way out to burbank and they were like you got to get COVID tested for a shoot and it was like you know they sent me all the way out to Burbank and they were like you got to get COVID tested here and they always just pick one location that's just so far away for no reason so I went to Burbank and I was like you know what I'm going to make the most of it went to a coffee shop I've never been to before in my life and this was like not even a few days after you told me this was going to be a segment Graham so I really had this friend of mine and I saw a table of ladies, fancy moms and yoga gear, matching caramel highlights, jingle jangly bracelets, bingy bouncy boobies. I said, I'm going to seat myself next to those gals.

And here, what's the happy haps? Yeah. And you had something juicy. And so it was really just one woman that was utterly dominating the conversation the entire time right and she was talking about her children who i'm hesitant to name because i just want to say they were it was like they had incredibly french sounding names for no reason this woman was like a very marcel listen to two french names both starting with the same letter the most french names you've ever heard. Hunchback of Notre Dame, that's one.

And you each get a guess. And you have to say that it's alliteration, okay? They both start with the same letter and they're both French names. Go ahead. Cosette and Kodak. Yeah. Okay, Cosette and Kodak. Yeah.

I'm going to go with Lumiere and Luc Jean, backwards Jean-Luc. Oh, I love that. It's sort of like he's wearing reverse cutoffs. So they were almost more French than that. Like, I'm going to call them Pierre and Paris. Okay. But it was, anyways, the name started with an R and I'm not going to say them. Rodin.

Robert. Robert. Robert. Yeah. Okay. I can't hold back can i say what they are yes i don't care are these kids gonna sue you i mean maybe they will what if what if this lady finds out what if somebody's listening and they're like oh the the details don't don't say it okay okay okay so pierre okay but like it's renee it's definitely renee it's not renee but really close really close and in fact remy remy yeah that's one that's one that's one okay okay but i'm not gonna give you the other name that's the other key to the to

the fortune and if you have both names you can go to their bank account and you can take the diamonds. And everyone knows. Yeah, they're fact. Yeah, they're fact. Okay, so here we are. She's talking about her little children. And I don't think they're little, actually. One seems like they're in middle school and the other one's in high school. And she's talking about the younger one who's in middle school struggling with math. And the mom is just as simply outraged. She was saying, like, I don't understand why these teachers have to teach them more than one way to do math she kept saying she said it's confusing to them just teach them the

one way she kept saying like the one way as if there's i don't know i don't know can you guys make sense of that they shouldn't know more than one way to do math just yeah the one way i think maybe back in the day you did just learn one way yeah i think there's probably like proven things that are better than they've new math they've newified math yeah then she was saying like it's confusing to them you know what they should just teach them something test them on it and then move on i was like that simply sounds like the education system at large. Forget like every year you go to like grade 11, forget everything you learned in math 10.

It's like this woman thought that she had invented the concept of a test. Like she was like, why don't we see if they know it? And then if they do, they're allowed to move on. Yeah. And maybe she thought the basic math was just like adding and subtracting and then like algebra and geometry. Those were the new kind of math that she was like, don't teach them all the math. Don't teach them multiplication.

It's just like, instead of doing, you know, eight times seven, just do eight plus eight plus eight plus eight plus eight plus eight. Right, right. I mean, that's, you know what, we joke about it, but that's the way I'm doing math in my head i'm so bad at math i stopped learning after second grade they gave us dice and they this is where i stopped you guys and we rolled them and then we had to add them up yeah that was it i never fucking moved on so in my mind when you tell me like eight plus four i'm just picturing a bunch of dice i'm sorry we didn't

we didn't have eight we only give the dice only go up to six exactly so i'm seeing a six and a two and then a and then a four and i'm counting the dots on the dice in my mind and it takes me 15 minutes to solve any math equation you're like your reverse beautiful minding. I'm absolutely the ugliest mind you've ever come in contact with. You've got a cork board with twine holding things up, and it's just like the word duh. Yeah, it's really upsetting. It's bad for me. But now everybody carries a calculator in your pocket,

so it doesn't, you're fine. You don't ever have to add anything up or multiply for the rest of your life. I guess, but I'm always afraid people are going to see what I'm putting into my calculator. And they're going to be like, did that girl really just put 12 plus 6 into a calculator? Anyway. That's two dice. That's three dice. Yeah.

I'm looking at her from the other side, so it looked to me like she wrote boobs. So anyway, she talks about math, but I wrote this stuff down. What else did she talk about? Oh, yeah. Then she was saying that one of them will say, well, it was Remy and you already know his name. So he was going on a field trip. And she said to the girls that she's worried he's going to have sex with someone on the field trip. And I think it was like an overnight.

Like, I think they're going somewhere like a, you know know some sort of ski trip or something right yeah and then um her friends went he's not gonna have sex with anyone and they said is there a chaperone in his room and she goes yeah there's a one of the teachers sleeps in the room with them and then she goes but would that have stopped you girls god i mean it would have stopped me in the room i i'm i mean i was astounded what do you i mean it would certainly stop me if i was a teen yeah i mean just i just mean he can sneak he doesn't he doesn't have to have sex in the room i know remy remy wait wait wait what do you mean sex is is for bed. That's true, Dave. Dave, what the hell are you talking about? Well, actually, with sex ed, why do they teach them all the different ways? Why don't they just teach them the one right way, the bed?

It's confusing. Then give them the test and see if they can move on. That's incredible. So, yeah, I don't know. We all know that sex needs three things pillow blanket mattress yeah i mean without that you can't have it so well the fourth thing darkness you need darkness that's exactly right lights lights off or no deal yeah um so yeah she was really worried about that and then um the last thing that she mentioned was she was worried about oh they kept

saying like why are you so worried he's gonna sex? And she said because she saw him snapping with this girl. Snapping? Like Snapchat. Oh, okay. You think I was like, snap, snap, snap. I literally thought they were doing like the, yeah. The sharks. Okay, so she said that she looked over his shoulder when he didn't know she was behind the couch.

Bit of a sneaky mom move. Yeah. And he was snapping with her and he had taken a selfie of himself looking like really kind of coy. And then he had put on the text of it, stop teasing me and sent it to a girl. That's how you, when you're, when you're're youth that's how you know that somebody likes you you embarrass them and all and the whatnot and when i'm when i'm a when my kids are teenagers i am going we are doing it the 90s way where there will be one family computer that everyone messages on in the middle of the well it's in the computer room yeah yeah it's disgusting that

that computer should never be okay but hold on i feel like there was a fundamental misunderstanding here graham because i said the word stop teasing me and you you took it as like hey stop teasing me but i think it was like stop teasing me oh you think it was like you're being a tease yeah yeah like i think he was sending it to a girl like stop give me the good because in my head he she's teasing him and he's like stop teasing me no no i think that's why she brought it up in the sexual content of why everyone's like why do you think he's gonna get his dick wet on this field this isn't just some bully who's did anybody at the time you're in short king spring you might have a chance did anybody at the table use the phrase get his dick wet okay no that was just me piping in and they said excuse me ma'am

but i just want to say that's all i heard because then the conversation ended with we were like out on a patio and a car went by and honked at another car really loudly right in front of the cafe as it drove by but it was still like going at a clip you, it was what honked as it speeded on by. And she pushed her chair back from the table, stood up and screamed at the cars that drove away into the distance. Was that necessary? Oh, don't do that.

Which is encouraging though, which was crazy to me because I was like, lady, the car is long gone. And also you screeching at the top of your lungs was way more intrusive than that horn was. Some people just take up a lot of space, you know? Yeah, they really do.

So, yeah, that's about all I got from the girls. That was amazing. That was multi-pronged. It was a story arc. I loved it. So, I was under the impression I give you what I overheard, and then you guys are going to do a bit of an improv scene, basically. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

Okay, I'm a truck, and I'm driving Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I'm a truck and I'm dry. You don't have to just say what you are. Is that what a truck does? Yes. And you say yes. And yes. And I'm a lady and my,

I'm worried. My boy's penis is too dry. It's my French boy. Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah, mine's very, look, she painted a big picture. Mine's going to go real quick. This, I was, something I wish went quicker. We rented a car in Los Angeles, and it was 90 minutes in line. We were with a reservation at Avis.

Hi, Avis, get it together. But the lady in line and they were having the, like, they couldn't tell how long the line was because some people, I don't really understand their logic, but they were like, only get in line if you're the person on the reservation. Don't bring your spouse in. We're trying to know what the numbers are in this line right and uh but this woman behind me her daughter kept coming in and she was you know when you're a kid and you go on a trip and you're like new trip knew me and this little girl was like uh nine years old and wearing a purple beret and

had like a purple track suit it was like it's vacation me and she was with her mom and her dad and she pointed to a two-seat car like a a convertible a corvette that had two seats and she said can we rent that car and her mom said no and she went oh seriously oh i love that attitude also i i don't know i guess how do you know she's not like a little beret wearing fashionista i don't know i don't know yeah but she had that kind of like this is my vacation outfit i bought i'm really impressed that you knew that. Because I would have thought that was like uniquely female preteen experience. Because that was definitely my experience.

I always tried to reinvent myself. And I'm just like kind of shocked that you could see that. Well, she was from Colorado. I don't think that's, you know, maybe that's what they do out there. I'm not sure. I actually would, I think I would try to reinvent myself coming back from vacation. So I might be wrong about her. Do you have a daughter?

I have two. Yes. Oh, okay. So maybe you've seen some of this firsthand also. Oh yeah. Yeah. They're, they're the, they're the total package. Um, but, uh, yeah, I just love the idea that she couldn't believe that oh we can't get this

two-seat car for the three of us oh anyway that was it graham you now mine is really short because it was a mother isolate that audio everyone oh i love that pranks yeah. Yeah. Undercover high. And your podcasting friends set you up. Uh, it was just a mother and her son walking up the street and she's saying to him,

so you had two factions fighting over you. And he said, yeah, I have too many friends. Oh, that's good. Yeah. We should all be so lucky to have that kind of problem, right?

The only friends I have fighting over me are like, you take them. We don't want them. We don't want to carry his goofy ass to Rustica. Well, we all brought a little tidbit about, really, the parent-child bond. Yeah. The youth. And that's who listens to the show. The youth.

Yeah. Right. This is like, our show is actually, you can hear it in the background of euphoria. People are doing drug sex to our show. Yeah. We feel that's our breakout role. On a bed with pillows and a blanket and a light bulb. Oh, I assume.

Lights off. I close my eyes during the show. I can't bear to watch it. Lights off. Earphones in. Let's do this. Yeah. Now, I have overheards sent in from people all over the world if you want to send one into

us you can send it into spy at maximum fun.org and uh this first one comes from scott d from san francisco while waiting in line to see jake johansson at the san francisco punchline i heard two early 30 guys discussing discussing one guy's company shutting down. He said, yeah, the pay was decent, but I'm really going to miss the medical benefits. I mean, if I were to get shot now, it would ruin me financially. Oh, my God. Like, before, I was fine going to the firing range and just, you know, shooting off a couple guns in all directions. just you know shooting off a couple guns in all directions there were at disneyland there were people who had some one guy had a shirt that said most expensive day ever and the day was the disney d oh nice and then another one had and his wife was saying i hope i get shot yeah

my goofy son roger or whatever if i get shot, this will cost me a fortune on the Disney font. That's just on the back of somebody's car. This next one comes from Liam S. from London, UK. Hello. Hello, hello. Cherry eye. I was at the park when I overheard an approximately seven year old boy explaining what happened to his acquaintance's pets. He said, so her guinea pigs died after Christmas.

They froze to death. And his surprise mother said, oh, no, that's so sad. And he said, yeah, it was really sad because it was just before New Year's. If they had made it to New Year, they'd be happy because they could look forward to things changing. Yeah, sure. What? Yeah. Like this new year, we be happy because they could look forward to things changing yeah sure what yeah like this new year we're gonna change things up we're not gonna let our guinea pigs die yeah my resolution is to heat my guinea pig i just actually learned about these little rodents like guinea pigs and mice and hamsters and stuff uh they freeze to death all the time it's their

number one day to way to go because they get so cold they need to be nice and warm and they'll get cold just in your regular house if it's winter and you don't have the heating on and then they go into like a coma they go into like sort of like cryo coma and then people have been discovering online that they have certainly buried their pets alive because then you think they're dead but they're actually in this like coma where they just it's like a stasis where they have to be until they're warm. But if you heat them up, they'll come back to life. Yeah, microwave those

for giving them a quick zap. So pretty sad for all the people that realize, oh, there was a little critter here that I actually buried alive. Pretty sad for the critter, I think. God. Although I don't think,

it probably never woke up if it went from the cold inside to the cold outside. Yeah. My will says to bury me alive. And if they don't read my will, I will say it. But why would they read your will if you were alive? Well, because it has an expiry date.

So you got to get me before that date's up. Yeah. Grave and I have one of the, you know how some people are like, hey, if we're not both married at 50, let's get married. Grave's like, if I'm not dead at 70, bury me alive. Interesting. Good for you graham thank you i didn't know that about all those creatures and it is so sad yeah yeah they didn't even get to look forward to things changing in the new year and also guinea pigs love both lang syne yeah that's true um this last one comes from Jenny, also in London, UK. Hello.

This is a child pointing at the utility markings spray painted on the pavement. He said, why would the government let somebody do this? They put the letter G in yellow spray paint. Yeah. I used to think that same thing, too. Like, what the hell kind of job do you get where you can spray paint all over the place? I still don't know. Banksy, I guess.

That's one of them. Sure. I guess that is kind of a job any of us could have. Yeah, Banksy. Doing Banksy. Yeah, because who's to say I'm not Banksy? You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess.

You could be Banksy. That's right. I think you'd be a good Banksy. Here's my offer. Offer only.'m not Banksy? You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess. You could be Banksy. That's right. I think you'd be a good Banksy. Here's my offer. Offer only. You're Banksy in a musical. Are you talking to me? You're talking to me?

Yes, I'm talking to you. He pointed at you. Well, we're on Zoom, so it's utterly impossible to tell. Yeah, that's true. I'll just point up. Okay, thank you for saying I could be Banksy, because I agree, Dave could never. I would be too. I got a big mouth. I'd be like, I'm Banksy.

Yeah, don't tell anybody. Now, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one, ugh, spyPod 1. Like these people have. Hi, Dave and Graham, Unpossible Guests. This is Julie from Kelowna. I have an overseen. I was behind two cars at a stoplight

that had bumper stickers. One of them said no farmers, no food. And right next to it in the other lane in front of me was a car that said, I eat ass. And it just conjured an image for me of fields and fields of farmers' crops of ass. Okay, thanks.

Off I go. I love that. I love to hear it. I wonder if she snapped a pic of that. She must have. Yeah. If she was driving driving you can't expect her to well you got to have a dash cam for that kind of thing yeah actually that's true

dash cam gram are you considering a dash cam well as an insurance peddler you know the benefits gram yeah yeah exactly uh you can't go wrong with the with the dash cam and uh you know uh make sure you delete it and put in a new file every time you drive and drive safely out there. Wow, this guy's done his research. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know dash cam. All right.

Well, that's cool. And here's your next phone call. Here we go. Hey, guys. This is Noelle from Iowa. I haven't overheard. My son's six-year-old learned the term trash talk and then immediately forgot it. And then the next time he tried to say it, he said, garbage conversation.

Now, off I go. Oh, I love that. That's the king of garbage conversation. You garbage conversationing him? Garbage. That's fine. Yeah, absolutely. It works just as well as well so this show this basically is kids say the darndest things it is yes it is yeah and uh well and also bumper stickers about eating right

right right yeah i love that man one of the funniest things i ever heard a kid say but this was like a couple years ago i was in a 7-eleven andven and this guy came in with his little son and the son was asking for candy. And he held up a bag of Sour Patch Kids and said, Dad, can we get these? And he called them, can we get these Sour Catch Pigs? Sour Catch Pigs. I would have bought them just on principle. Yeah, you got them. And here's your final phone

call. Hey, Dave Graham and guest. So I was at my town's monthly art night, art walk thing. And there was this sweet little old lady unloading her art from her minivan. And on the back of her minivan was a bumper sticker

that said, I eat ass. Anyway, off I go. What are the odds? Two in one week What the hell? Did they live in the same city? No Well, one guy I forget what he said, but The other one was local

Well, maybe somebody's on an ass-eating road trip Oh, God I gotta get my script in the right hands to have this movie made munching up butts from state to state it's a summer they'll never forget yeah burning gas and munching ass oh boy well that brings this epitome epitome sour chach yeah I got really screwed up there

oh my god that draws us to the end of this episode thank you very much for being our guest oh my god thank you for having me Disney really is better with cousins absolutely now that's what I'm going to say Oh my god thank you for having me Disney really is better with cousins Absolutely Now that's what I'm going to say

Anytime anybody mentions Disney anything Like Disney Plus Better with cousins I mean The new Aladdin's not as good without my cousins You have too many Dave don't be greedy Yeah over here with our four and two yeah and one of them one of my cousins is an anti-vaxxer so you know really one of mine

is too so there's 50 of mine gone yeah definitely one of mine is but he was kicked in the head by a mule um lisa where can people find you Your show Fairview season finale this week. Your videos online are hysterically funny. So where can people find you? Thank you. At the Lisa Gilroy on all the platforms. That's where I'm at. Nice. Yeah, if you out there in Radioland have not seen any of your videos, please do yourself the favor. Go check them out.

They're the only videos on the internet all recorded on dash cam, where I'm in front of my own car. That's true, which is a cheap and efficient way to self-tape. That's right. There's one I really love of a fifth grade boy who got a face painted of a snake on his face

at a county fair. fair oh thank you so much i painted that on my face and then sat for 20 minutes wondering what i was supposed to do with it um well thank you so much for being our guest this was a ton of fun thank you for having me this is so fun yeah and all you listeners out there uh thanks for listening to the show if you if you have the scratch buy yourself a dash cam and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned.

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