Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 735 - Kim Senklip Harvey

Episode Date: April 19, 2022

Stop Podcasting Yourself 735 - Kim Senklip Harvey

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 735 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's very excited about the upcoming Max Fun Drive, Mr. Dave Shumka. Oh, we got a lot of fun stuff planned for all you listeners. So all your, you know, you support the show, you could get some really fun stuff. Yeah, we're gonna, we're decorating the whole house it's gonna be the best we're gonna tie a ribbon around the old old tree yeah graham and i moved

into a house together we're decorating it now uh we're kind of like the property brothers but we're not related one and we're ruining the place yeah we suck uh no one likes us and uh we're both the flannel shirt guy um our guest today first time guest of the podcast so happy to have her here it's kim sinkley mary harvey i said it wrong i have i have m written down here, but it's Harvey. Kim Sinklip Harvey. What? I can't. Oh my gosh, Graham, that was amazing.

Graham, can we, for the next 735, can I introduce the guest? No, no, no. I got it now. Kim Sinklip Harvey. Just call me Mary. Yeah. Mary for short, right? It is. That's what I said.

It was Mary for short. No one in my life has called me mary but this is amazing well that's because it's not your name that's true is kim short for kimberly yes only my mom when she's like pissed off at me says that kimberly yeah well i'm not gonna call you that i'm just trying to i'm trying to find a path to mary but it's never there's none there well there's something about her for sure. So there's that. Yeah, I did play a shepherd in an activity

scene once when I was a kid. Oh, nice. I stood next to like the Mary. Yeah. Was it you with a towel on your head with a necktie wrapped around or something like that? Yeah. And then like a toilet paper staff. Yes. Yeah. Yes. This is vintage.

Brought gifts, myrrh. I don't know what you're supposed to bring. It was BYOM, bring your myrrh. And my dad didn't have a house coat, so I think I borrowed a friend's dad's house coat. So it was very awkward. Yeah, what the hell, man? Get it together, dad. It was that like like that like the fact that everyone kind of the fact that that's such a universal thing that like okay well you're gonna be a shepherd you're

gonna need your dad's house coat yes yeah or like painting day when you're a kid you're gonna have to borrow a shirt a shirt that your dad doesn't want back. You're going to put it on backwards. Like a smock. Like a smock, yeah. Did you ever do that with an old, with a shirt? Not backwards, because wouldn't that just be the same? Or were you trying not to ruin the front? Oh, no, like a button-up shirt.

Yeah, a button-up shirt, yeah. No. And then you put it. We didn't do that. That would be, how did that work? Because you've got to get your chin over your dad's collar. Yeah, and then I think the teacher would button the, like, top button so that it's set, like. All right, all right. And then also, who has that many dress shirts that they can give away a dress shirt and have paint all over it?

Bougie, bougie. Yeah, it's the rich. All right, let's get to know us. Get to know us. Here we go. Okay okay let me educate you guys tell me does you know that they would have uh like stubborn ring around the collar in commercials yes and you know it do you know what i'm talking about like sweat like like sweat like it would be the in TV commercials for detergent.

Yes. They would always be talking about ring around the collar. Yeah, ring around the collar. I just couldn't get this off of my husband's shirt. Right. And I think it's because you had to have a tie around it. Yeah. And so it was like right up against your skin all day long.

Yeah. And you're sweating. You're sweating bullets because the market's tanking. But if you're somebody like Jimmy Buffett, you're sweating bullets because the market's tanking. And. But if you're like somebody like Jimmy Buffett, you don't have to worry about. Oh, sure. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. He's fine. Did you know that like, um, you know, if you see like a fancy wall street type, that's got like a blue shirt with a white collar and white cuffs. Yeah. That's like an old tiny thing of like the, when the collar and cuffs got worn out on your shirt,

you would just replace them with white. Sustainable. Yeah. Very sustainable like an old tiny thing of like when the collar and cuffs got worn out on your shirt, you would just replace them with white. Sustainable. Yeah. Very sustainable. Very sustainable. I appreciate that. Yeah. Well, when people used to wear that like clubs, like business wear at the clubs and it's like guys would show up with that.

That was a very intense time. Wasn't there like some, there's like a billionaire whose son designed those type of shirts you remember this it's like this guy he's like some mega billionaire son and he designs those exact type of shirts oh god yeah yeah the sultan of brunei yeah that's right sultan brunei jimmy brunei um kim yeah thank you so much for being a guest here on the podcast thank you so much for having me you you're a hyphenate you have so many different things that you do that we're gonna break it down piece by piece we're gonna we're gonna unpack this what makes you tick yeah hot oh gosh uh yeah talk we can talk about whatever i i i do do a lot do you do edit early on i got it in there

perfect yeah that's over with uh but like i i like none it's all great it's all whatever like i might be in a slightly despondent state because of like the state of the world so i'm just like you know it's like it's all good yeah, happy to talk about the bullet points. Okay, bullet points. You are a writer. Yes. Writer of both book and play. Just a play.

I'm working on a book. But plays. You're working on a book, okay. Yeah, plays and blogs. And then I just kind of started writing in TV. So I'm just, I wrote three pilots during the pandemic. Oh, shit. Yeah.

Are they top secret? No. Like I'm also in the midst of like getting a literary agent and just, um, doing workshopping them. So I was just kind of got sick of the TV that I was seeing. And like, I didn't see much coming up for like indigenous representation.

And I just was like, let's just write it. Like, let's just try and figure this out and so i spent some time figuring out format and yeah um it's fun i like tv writing it's much different than playwriting yeah interior television night yeah all that stuff but to me it's like one of the easier parts about it is like instead of having to like in a play be like and then we turn those chairs into the gates of hell.

And it's like this big theatrical experience that takes so much energy and like TV Friday, you'd be like, and then we just like go to the gates of hell. Like, you know what I mean? Like we can just jump there instead of jump gates of hell. Yeah.

And when you're writing a play, it's like three kids come out, they're wearing robes, they're wearing towels kids come out. They're wearing robes. They're wearing towels on their heads. They have toilet paper rolls. Do you own a bathrobe? I do. I do.

I do. Graham, do you? Hell yeah. I'd be wearing it right now if I wasn't so polite. I own one. I never wear it. No? I wear like a hoodie if I need to go outside well i would never wear this outside everything oh popping out what's a bathrobe for um do you get out do you get out

of the shower naked no no no i don't use it for any bath things i wake up and i put it on because you're right around the house like I own the place. Is it like comfort? I do it. I'm revealing a lot here. I use a bathrobe instead of a towel. Oh, really? So I'm immediately into this terrycloth bath thing.

That's how we do that. You're changing the game. That's what you are. Am I? Yeah. But then it's cool because then you can get out of the shower and you have pockets. Yes. Like that's for me that's yeah like graham do you would you sleep in pajamas or what do you sleep in i can't believe you don't know this this is interesting i sleep in a coffin you know this dave knows that i sleep in a coffin he's just making me say it again uh-huh do you i sleep in a cape with a medallion strung around my neck because i don't really get why i

would want a bathrobe i have one but i don't you're a pajama man yeah so i guess that's pajamas and pajamas have pockets like did they did they not have pockets before they were robes they were nightgowns we were all yeah that's true we were we were all scrooging it up yeah that's true and a cap yeah and a cap and a little candle that you blow out for just before you go to bed yeah um the uh so you're you've written how many plays would you say if you had a ballpark oh like uh one published play i just finished my, and then I'm just working on my third TYA, Theater for Young Audience play. So three main ones, but I kind of like, I've been writing.

Like I was a theater geek when I was in high school. You know, like I was one of those kids. My first play I started writing when I was like 13. What was that about? It had the worst title of all titles in the world. It was literally written by a 13-year-old. It was Cordston's Quartz. Sorry, say again? I can't you say it it's the most it's the worst title to say i think well zoom zoom zoom really didn't like that key cordston is with a q courts like c-o-u-r-t is like not a rock

okay courts courts like basketball courts i don't know like okay spell cordston c-o-r-d s-t-o-m cordston's cordston's court cordston's court and court

was c-o-r-t yeah c-o-u-r-t c-o-u-r-t like a court of some kind like it was a play on like

old timey court it was a high school play duh what do you write in high school you write about cordston's court cordston's court it was a high school play duh what do you write in high school you write about courts and courts

yeah you have angst you've got all sorts of angst you have to work through ever watch that were you heavily influenced by that science show quirks and quirks I still listen I find it interesting yeah Bob McDonald is that the guy yeah he rules

yeah we all love quirks and quirks here bob come on the show yeah yeah yeah bob if you're listening and we know that you are because we would be considered ourselves a quirk yeah we're kind of quirky uh this this play that you wrote in high school did this get staged this go out yeah we were supposed to write a play and then in the second semester direct it and we would get i don't know 50 to do it all oh it wasn't you wouldn't just get course credit no i and course credit and i wouldn't just pay you only got 50 i mean that's like i know no other classes would ever be like oh yeah so costumes and shit oh well but like science isn't like uh you know make a volcano here's 50 bucks you'll get yourself something pretty yeah the um uh because i feel

like any play that i was peripherally involved with was there would be two chairs on stage and that would have to be everything yeah oh yeah it's a car it's a car it's a couch the magic of theater yes you just have to feel around and make it look like something's there those black boxes like those black theater boxes that you'd like stack and be like it's a castle it's castle now i can't stress that enough this is in scorch now as a theater lover this is a big no uh i love theater dave dave doesn't cotton to theater but i don't like about theater is that everyone on stage is pretending but everyone in the audience is also pretending the worst true that is the worst part about theater the fourth wall at least when you see a movie

like you look around at the people around you're like these people are dumb they think this is real but in a play you're like no everyone has to pretend it's the conceit this mutual conceit that you're gonna pretend yeah it is a lot of pretending we ask the audience a lot to like yeah that's true it's a relationship for sure but i agree i find that uncomfortable a lot of my plays break that immediately or we just don't pretend like it's like i usually have the actors come out and like greet the audience in so it's like hey how's it going welcome to the show like so that's a good idea just less like there's an invisible wall we're gonna travel it's just that it is uncomfortable when you so you they come out on stage they don't

go out and like shake hands no sometimes they come out like for cam lupa my first bigger play i just had them kind of as audience members came in and it was just like hey how's it going welcome take a seat let me know if you need help and they're just kind of like gathering it because sometimes it can feel really awkward do they oh to come by with a tray full of hors d'oeuvres i wish like it became really chill in my next they gave us 50 bucks to buy hors d'oeuvres like i think like in break my next one we're gonna it's gonna be much more like rock vibe so there's gonna be like snacks and beer and hang out and just nice i find those settings of theater when it's like don't move don't cross your legs don't go to the washroom don't look in

this direction don't unwrap a candy oh and that's all i want the whole time i'm at the theater i want a delicious candy i've earned it and uh but it's in my pocket it's too loud yeah i've earned it by going getting some culture in my life i've earned it and give me some candy to me whenever i used to be an actor and i was on stage and i would hear that it was a real blow it was a real like wow this person is gonna spend 22 minutes opening up a candy yes put all of their focus into it because whatever the fuck we're doing is so not interesting but they're also trying to be quiet about it. That's why it's taking 22 minutes.

That's a whole relationship. Like that's a whole, we're just going to pretend this is not happening. We all know what's happening. It's like, just open the candy, just have it, just quickly open it and start doing whatever you need to do.

And then tell them if you have one, you have to bring it up for everyone. And then make that a part of the play. What's your favorite candy? Oh, I would say the the peaches spicy peaches oh it's a classic or uh swedish berries sure there's a good so oh um a few years ago on the podcast i told a story about how i was in sweden and they had corn nuts in a chocolate bar and it was gross but i loved it and i i've been searching for it ever since and i've recently found now that the border has opened up i i found

a place in america that is selling a uh chocolate bar it's the same brand okay that had the corn nuts marabou that has i think it has corn nuts and popcorn in a chocolate bar. And I'm very interested in it. And it's already been delivered to my P.O. box in America. And I will be going down to get it soon. Canamare? Do you use Canamare? What do you use?

Do you have a P.O. box? No, I just, I use a place in Blaine. Yeah, that's why I have a place in Blaine. Oh, I use 5D packages. Oh, 5D? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's well, it's five five dimensions yeah the hmm i guess i guess if you're gonna put your mind in the gutter i can't get it out for you i go to 5d yeah packages now i want to say i want to say more about the play because you got nominated you don't want to talk about my weird candy no it sounds like puke it sounds like solidified puke as well okay okay

fair we'll circle back we'll have a report in a couple weeks you should come and try and eat it quietly and the next guest it just like really takes 20 minutes and just like slowly crunch and then eat the crunchiest snack that you can. You know what else is the worst in an audience? When somebody goes, when they, instead of laughing, they do that.

Have you ever had that happen? Yeah. What is that? What is, what's disapproving? Right. Okay. Yeah.

Oh, like a test. Look at. Yeah. I see. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Right. Right. Right. You've been test. Yeah. I, I, people walk out on my shows. Like a tsk. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. Right, right, right. You've been tsked? Yeah. People walk out on my shows. For real? Yeah.

We did a reading on Tuesday. Two people walked out. Like, people, yeah. I push people to the edge. I would, you know, if I was a playwright, I would hire, I'd get my friends to come in every show and walk out. Yeah. Just to create the air of people can't handle my stuff you know it's just preference i don't mind it like i'm sure

people like you've probably done comedy sets where people are like have they have you people walk out do people walk out mostly they just sit there and talk to each other oh right i'm not enjoying this. This stinks. Are people so used to just watching TV and being like, or being an hour into a movie and being like, I'm not going to finish this. Is that the equivalent of walking out? I feel like it's a pretty bold statement to walk out. Theater is not cheap, and you've gotten dressed like if i got like if i was to get dressed and go to play like whether i like i'm gonna stay like i feel

like leaving is quite a statement but also like i don't know like people might have like what do they say like invisible diseases i don't know maybe shit's going on in their life i don't i don't know like i really don't you're giving i think you're giving them a real benefit of the doubt that you need to get someone someone You should have someone at the door Making people fill out a questionnaire Do you have an invisible disease? Yeah, what is that? What invisible disease do you have?

Are you going through a breakup? Does this play remind you of a breakup? Yeah Do you need to go pick up an Amazon package? I don't know If this if this chocolate bar of yours thank you let's get back to it is it are you gonna have to like order it all the time no i don't think i so i found a place in america that sells swedish candy and they uh i mean they could have sent it here but it would have been like 60 bucks of shipping for a $4 chocolate bar.

But I mean, I say $4 chocolate bar. I bought four of them. And it's on sale because I guess sales weren't good. But it was originally an $8 chocolate bar. And so I, but the fact that they didn't have the corn nut one ever again, it makes me think that this is a limited edition. I'm not going to be able to get it again. The commercial should be there's a vat of chocolate, right? And then two workers walk by, one with a giant cardboard box of corn nuts and one with popcorn.

And they bump into each other and it all goes in the chocolate. I thought you were going to say the commercial should be someone pukes. Yeah, somebody pukes into a mold. They put it in. They put it in the freezer and then they ship it right to your door um okay like corn nuts like please tell me more about that when i like when we were kids my mom uh said that it was like our dentist like made it illegal to eat corn nuts because they're so bad for your teeth and like me and my sisters were like wow like the corn that's dangerous treat yeah the dentists were sort of like creating some buzz for these

like lies did you ever have them yeah i love them like i think they're great but i dream you're allergic you're allergic to nuts have you tried corn nuts i don't know if i have i've stayed away from them just the like i've heard that there's no actual nuts in honey nut cheerios but i just steer clear because i see i feel like they kind of create the uh a substitute for nuts like you you're getting everything you need out of and you're getting more corn in your diet which my doctor is constantly saying yeah sure i usually just yeah my doctor's always telling me just you know what it's easier if you just drink this corn syrup

yeah yeah yeah make sure you check all the labels see that it's got a lot of palm oil my doctor's always saying gets more palm oil when i originally found this in sweden i was i kind of thought ate it kind of like as a you know what do they call it a novelty okay yeah but then i was like i love i love the combination of you know uh sweet and salty sweet and corny me too it was it was just plain salty ones it wasn't like ranch mesquite barbecue and sweetest chocolate yeah exactly kim what's the weirdest chocolate bar you've ever eaten or just candy straight up candy big hunk in hawaii i ate a big big hunk i don't even know if they make it anymore uh but it was like it was like um i don't even know it was like white and stretchy and like it just came like me yeah white stretchy just came

well done well done take the rest of the podcast off 100 percent uh yeah and i feel like that was pretty weird because it was like a a toffee thing but the color it was like i guess they just didn't die it no i don't know they did diet white big hunk was pretty weird yeah what about you big hunk i want to say that uh oh boy oh boy i mean big turk was one that i always thought was pretty strange because it was a jelly covered yeah chocolate guy maybe it's been a while since I've partied. I had an eat more a few weeks ago. How'd it go? I'd never had one before.

It's a long chew. It's nuts and toffee. Peanuts and toffee. And it's just weird. It's not sweet. It's like molasses-y. Yeah. The sweetest of all uh gels sludge yeah some sort of sludge the sweetest of the sludge if you're looking for good uh turkish delights i granville island i i like as an adult went and had a like, Ooh, let's try these at one candy spot on Granville Island.

Oh, yeah. Is it the place that's right? Right. At the very start of. Yes. Yes. Yeah.

You can just get one or two and they're like fresh and haven't been sitting in like a convenience store for 32 years. So I feel like it's a good, it's a better portal into that type of candy. Yeah. That's like such good advice because what I was thinking in my head was going to a gas station and buying a picture. Rolling off the dust. Yeah, it says like, you know, you can send in two UPSs and we will, you can participate in the 2012 Olympiad.

Yeah. The Pat-Am 96. Yeah. Yes. Yes. olympiad yeah the pat am 96 yeah yes yes um uh now can you've won you've won a big award or you were nominated for a big award for your play you won it right no you did you win it you win the governor general's award yes that's fucking amazing. Now, people in America, the Governor General's Award is like our Oscars. The Governor General cuts up and slaps you. Yeah. And you can't consider it a win unless that takes place. You take it and you don't fall.

Yes. Yeah. If you could take it. That's the only way you win. You have to stand in a line and whoever doesn't fall to the ground wins. This is like an amazing thing this is an amazing thing you've done this is for a play american told me it was like um what is it the pulitzer it's an equivalent to a pulitzer in the sense so for drama so i want it for writing my

play uh nice yeah and this was courts and courts uh-huh uh it was so course in courts is actually about no i don't no we need to know what it's about because we never got to that course course in courts okay do you want to know why i named it that i couldn't think of a title and i guess we got the tables loaned from an old folks home and underneath it said court since courts and i was just like oh there that'd be my title it kind of works the high school could be named court's den and the court. Cause it was a bit of a love story of some kind. Okay.

Oh, yeah. It was quite courting. So it was actually a play on words, which was good. But this, the, the, the syntaxical cacophony of, of, of consonants was ridiculous. So let it go. Let it go. Kim. Courtson's courts. Cacophony of consonants.

Exactly. It was a bit like uh and actually because of my pilot i'm writing i re-watched it it was a little bit like dawson's creek i i yeah it's a little bit it's called dawson's creek spot which is oh sure but instead of a creek it's a court instead of dawson it's well it's of course exactly courtston's creek when i was in grade six we wrote up we had to put on a play and it was basically Encino Man. What part did you play? Pauly Shore or the Encino Man?

I think it was one of the Encino Man. I think there was a man and a woman Encino Man. Whoa. It was in French as well. In French? And it was black and white even though it was theater. It was black and white. Held in the round.

Yeah, held in the round. held around that's right the bard a thrust stage and everyone's parents came to watch it it was hot did you enjoy it like did you love it you gotta love it man yeah you love it but your parents are just like that must dave that must be a part of being a parent is like seeing a thing that sucks but being like this was good yeah it's kind of amazing anytime your kid does anything really i feel like my dad would come forcibly and not like give like he'd be like good and like we just drive home like well that's why you're you've won a Governor General Award and my kids haven't won shit because I'm too supportive. Yeah, so I won for Courts and Courts.

It was a really big surprise. It was 20 years in the making. My publisher was really confused as to why I wanted to resurrect this piece. I'm amazed that the jury got through the title, but overall, I took the punch and won. Yeah, I want to thank Brandon from gym class. I want to thank Dawson and the old folks at home for donating the tables. The whole gang up at Dawson. Oh, man.

That's so cool. So, what's it like, the ceremony or the whole, like, when do you find out you're going to win? When do you find out you're nominated? Is it like, you when do you find out you're gonna win when do you find out you're nominated is it like or do you just find out you're gonna win you find out that you're nominated so it's pretty cool they like you get a an email that's not cool at all actually that is no no wait this i think this is pretty cool this is going somewhere cool i've had some good emails okay okay okay so we get an email saying that your play has been nominated you know that your publisher uh puts puts it forth for contention so you know that's happening and generally but covid really messed things up because like plays weren't being published so

anyways we we put it up for contention it was we thought it could be a contenda and uh and then four four it goes down to four so you get the email that says you've been a part of the final four. And, uh, then what was really weird is that they're like, and somebody is going to find out who won. And then they have to keep it a secret for four weeks. And I was like, the fuck? Somebody's going to find out? Yeah. Who's going to find out?

The winner. So they tell the winner. Oh, okay. And then the winner can't like say shit for four weeks. And you kind of do press. Oh, wow. But does the, the, the, the the the other nominees know about this do they know that they haven't been told yeah because she says like you will we're gonna tell you in two days and i was like okay or not

so but then i was like i would just like ask people like if i didn't if i hadn't been told i would have been like yo you guys win or not like i would have asked but nobody just this unspoken rule that you just also don't ask who won so i knew for like four weeks and then uh then it gets but they all know they've lost it's like do any of them go there assuming that they've won or not assuming but thinking okay yeah so it was it was sort of like that i think they was oh no they were gonna say you're gonna find out i don't know how i actually fucking that was it but they were like don oh no, they were going to say you're going to find out. I don't know how. I actually fucking that was it, but they were like, don't talk to each other, don't tell each other.

And then when Canada Council called me, they were like, are you alone? And I was like, yeah. What are you wearing? Yeah, what are you wearing? Bathrobe. I literally was. And then you found out that the call was coming from inside the house and you're like, oh no, this is the worst. Fuck you. And then they tell you that the call was coming from inside the house. And you're like, oh, no, this is the worst.

Fuck you. To my roommate. No. And then they tell you. And then I had to sit on it. And it was like I was at my apartment. And I just kind of like jumped around. Because it was the first time an Indigenous woman has ever won this award for drama.

For real? Yeah. Congratulations. Thanks. It was a big deal in that sense. Because like only another indigenous man had won 10 years prior and this award's been going on for like 100 years uh and we're really surprised because the content of kamloops was kind of like uh it's a bit raucous you know there's like

a bunch of stuff in there that was a lot for sometimes we were surprised we were gonna win we thought we might get nominated i say we in the team but winning was was a surprise because of the content because it's like i heard you had some walkouts yeah we did and uh i was like the governor general like i was i was confused it's like does do they actually make a decision like how does this work what is such a jury right that was the time we didn't even have a governor general so i was like sweet nobody gave me the award it's like nobody's even in it. And then there was no ceremony because it was COVID. So it was a little bit like usually you go to the, what is it? The prime minister's house and you shake their hand and you meet the governor general and there's a big dinner. And he's like, oh, I forgot to clean up.

It's usually a lot of the cleaner in here. I forgot to put on my quirky socks. Quirky socks. For any non-Canadians, the Governor General is the Queen's representative to the government. I have a degree in political science and I couldn't

quite phrase that. But yeah, the Governor General is the Queen's proxy. Yeah. And then I think because I didn't really understand that. We also have, I guess, provinces of the left tenant governor yeah yes we have those lieutenant yeah i did i didn't know that either and then yeah and then so yeah and then you get it and then you get to wave your little hat around and they give you these golden stickers to put on any place that you have but i

put one on coward and hobbs and i'm gonna like donate it and like just be like is it like the like little with the little spikes around the edges and i've got a bunch of other ones so like i don't they don't i whatever i was like gonna go to like value village or something and like put them on like yes roberts and like all these like horrible like harlequin romance like girls are generals. It's like, this big native mag chest out there. What are those romance novels? It's like, wow.

They might get mad, but they're not going to listen to this. The Governor General might be listening. We've been nominated several times in the podcast category. Only former Governor Generals listen to this. Mikhail John listens. Adrian Clarkson loves it.

Adrian Clarkson, absolutely. That's all that I can name. I can't even name one. You can't name the one that gave you the award? There was none. Who's the governor general right now? It just wasn't a position. Yeah, it wasn't a position.

But an NUE woman is it? She's the first NUE governor general. I forget her name, though, but she's incredible. Yeah, it wasn't a position. But an NUE woman is it? She's the first NUE governor general. I forget her name, though, but she's incredible. If she has a double party of the COVID winners and now, I'd probably go. Out of pure interest. You know, like, what does the Sussex place look like? Like, out of, like, just apparently it's a real fancy dinner, too. So I want to know what's up with that.

Going to a fancy dinner is its own reward. Oh, damn. I'm looking know what's up with that. Going to a fancy dinner is its own reward. Oh, damn. I'm looking up old Governor Generals right now. Uh-huh. Frickin' Earl Grey. The tea guy. Holy shit, Earl Grey. Really? No, like the OG? Yeah.

See the guy that the Grey Cup was named after? Yeah. Shit. Lord Bing. Lord Bing, that was a high school.'s a high school in vancouver his wife his wife lady bing has a hockey trophy named after her lady bing wow um that's so is it you said you get stickers is there a trophy or something or what do you get or a medal i wish like i was like i thought there might be some hardware there's no hardware but I could like I don't know go to Valley Village or something and put a sticker on a like bowling

trophy and just like yeah that would be cool right Graham and I have three Canadian comedy awards between us I did I was like I mean it's impressive you guys should be proud of that did you get hardware for that yeah yeah they gave us a trophy what is it what are they made out of that did you get hardware for that yeah yeah they gave us a trophy oh what is it what are they made out of lucite uh yeah something something clear wow yeah yeah that's cool yeah it's cool it was fun i'm by you know the thing at the awards is nobody took them seriously every because it was just a room of comedians so it was like that's amazing everybody's acceptance speech was like this sucks everybody here sucks did you did you go to them yeah i've been to a couple of them uh the ones that we won yeah i picked the

first year i went okay you were at your cousin's wedding yeah uh you know many happy returns cousin marnie i was literally gonna say it was a cousin marnie of course yeah oh boy um uh well congratulations that's so cool yeah i wish i wish you nothing but more yeah what more of those you want i win one with every play that's yeah thank you i want you to win one award for one big award per play and i want you to get five walkouts yeah there we go i like that's a good it's a good goal but you are working on a new a new one yeah i'm working on a play called break horizons and that is about a healing lodge which is a minimum security prison and it's also a rock show so like i like yeah so we're having like this like the script is about 110 pages and there's about

10 rock songs in there so it kind of weaves it's really cool it's like jailhouse rock kind of vibe uh do you write the songs i'm writing the lyrics right now and then i'm working with a couple of sound people just figuring that part out the script is kind of done and now i feel like we're ready to go into the songwriting aspect of it so i've kind of like figured that out but um yeah it's you know you should get to do that you know you should get to the music oh blink 182 yeah very cool they rock i love blink 182 in high school oh well start liking them now yeah remember how much you like jail I'm sorry for the jail stuff all that

all the police hate me forever super on the nose this is pretty good I'm taking notes yeah I would love to go see like a serious play and then just have silly punk.

Well, I'm sure there was a party like when it was all these. That's Sum 41. Yeah, yeah, you know. Same genre, same genre. That was such an intense genre. Like, that was such all of it. Like, did it go from punk to like emo to like yeah that was a lot that was a lot blink 182 transformed i don't know if some 41 ever lost their their rap

scallion ways no yeah i think they're still like if you went and saw them they're a bunch of naughty boys you know they come out at the beginning of the show push a vase over that would rule if somebody if there was a vase on stage and a band came out to push it over to start their show check out the vase how would you start your show like how would you start a show that's a hard thing in playwriting too like what's the first scene like how would you start your punk ska band show here's what i would do i would have the actor come out and meticulously stack several boxes like say like 60 boxes and then on the last box he falls

backwards and knocks them all over and then all the small things place and then he emerges from the boxes yes dress like Jesus and then you're like, okay, yeah, this is starting. Now I'm in it. Okay. Governor General's

writing in her little book. I'm asking you to come do some script consultation. That was pretty good. We're available. We're theater people. Anytime you want to workshop some stuff, Dave and I are available for that. Yeah, that's great I usually write about indigenous women but you know

I think it's an easy leap for the both of you yeah absolutely we can make that work we can work with any character any genre the only thing we won't do is break the fourth wall we won't do it Dave and I refuse fourth wall stays so if you're not

interested in that yeah fourth wall stays forever as soon as you're off the play's still going on while you leave and uh it doesn't care it doesn't care that there's nobody in the theater because the fourth one's there so yeah um i think that's a great beginning of a concert though like i was trying to in uh we did a documentary of the the break for this like digital thing and i was watching a bunch of concerts and like award shows and like old vma stuff and old much music stuff on youtube just trying to see like how the fuck do they do this there's a pretty wacky ways people thought would be a good way to start a show and and some people just let it go they're like we're just gonna walk on stage and

that'll be it then like i saw one where like m Miley Cyrus came out of her mouth and a tongue and then like fell on the stage. Katy Perry right now is like jumping out of a toilet in Las Vegas. Like it's very camp. Like these are some big decisions to show some way. Yeah. Like what was, what am I thinking of? There's something where like a female singer is under the stage and she yeah

thrust it up that's a very and she doesn't quite land right and she's like whoa that was rough i mean she's she's fine but was this katie perry i can't remember who it is those are good starts like i asked the company if we had those they're like fast elevator things but it but it is it's it's quite a it's quite a, it's quite a trick. It's quite expensive. That stuff. What about having, uh,

like fans at the bottom of the stages, constantly like blowing all the characters, hair, all crazy Beyonce fan for sure. Like that's gotta happen. Like it just makes things better. You, and that way you can,

you can whittle down what musicians you're going to work with. Right. On the hairdos. Yeah. Definitely helps the whittling yeah exactly as i understand it playwrights have to do a lot of whittling uh yeah that's all we do i'm just whittling all day long yeah oh so relaxing it is it is um dave what's going on with you tell me all about it well um boy this uh this weather am i right oh my god so we live in a city vancouver where uh it's the spring when you know spring has sprung because all the trees turn pink. We have cherry blossoms all over the city. It's beautiful. Everyone takes a selfie. And they're wonderful.

And as discussed previously, they fall off and they turn to brown sludge. They fall off and turn to brown sludge. They peel the paint off your car. But this year, I feel like they all fell down and then it just got freezing and so it's like winter's back the because the the the cherry blossoms have all fallen off the trees but the trees haven't grown leaves yet so it's just the trees are just dead again yes and it's one degree degree outside but i have uh fallen back in love with gardening oh my god look who's returned yeah

now you'll remember graham i talked about this about a year ago about how uh we have a garden here and every day like multiple times a day i will take a break from my work and i'll go upstairs and look out the window and see if anything's budded yet this is this all everything in your life has led up to this activity like every every step of the way you've been leading you to be a gardener just to be a quiet guy who looks who just slowly watches to see, I think there's one more leaf on this tree than there was yesterday. You should set up a camera. Flowers, vegetables? It's no vegetables. It's flowers and bushes and trees.

Bushes? You planted bushes? Yeah. I mean, you've got to keep the ground covered. Yeah, that's true. Okay. Kim, do you got a green thumb at all? The worst. the ground covered yeah that's true okay kim do you you got a green thumb at all the worst and it's really embarrassing as a native person to be shitty at it because there's like we're supposed

to be good at it like know all about outdoor stuff do you how much do you know about outdoor stuff is it just gardening you don't know are you like gardening part which i feel like it's fine like i just i don't have a plant i've never had plant. I don't know how to fucking check a thing. Like, you're doing, Dave, don't know what you're doing out there. Well, here is the thing is outside, everything pretty much does fine on its own. Yeah. Inside, everything dies. I've killed some.

I'm not, I don't do inside plants anymore. Yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot. I feel like that is a personality trait in Vancouver, like succulentulent life indoor plant life and i'm just not in that circle i just don't know how to participate in that yeah i say live your best succulent life you know what i mean yeah we put the suck you in succulent yeah um but uh yeah so every day i'm like, okay. I'm checking in the backyard. Oh, there's ginkgo.

Is this ginkgo getting any buds? No. So last fall, I planted a peony, a herbaceous peony. Wow. I'm not talking tree peonies. And that's also Vancouver's theme park is a peony. The Pacific National Exhibition.

But I also, when I planted those, I planted a bunch of, I just got a million tulip bulbs. Oh yeah. Industrious, those I hear. And tulips are just, they're coming up. They're coming up. They're not blooming yet. Well, there's 28 of them. Only 8 have bloomed so far. That's a lot of tulips are just, they're coming up. They're coming up. They're not blooming yet. Well, there's 28 of them.

Only eight have bloomed so far. Okay, okay. That's a lot of tulips. I know. But it's made me antsy for everything else. Like, where's everything else? Right. What's the thing about the tulips that, like, in the 40s,

people went nuts for tulips? Do you know what I'm talking about? I don't know what you're talking about. Didn't the Dutch give us a bunch or something? was it was like yes they did you're right and i can't remember where that was but you're right and also what like beanie babies it was the same thing that happened with beanie babies like the price the price of them kept going up but they weren't actually valuable and then the market fell out and a bunch of people lost all their money. I don't know how that could happen.

Cause beanie babies don't grow out of the ground. Oh, I know, but it was buying, I don't know. It was buying tulips or something that turned to, you know, flip-flopped an economy.

Anyways, your tulips. Yeah. My tulips are just fine. But also, I'm like, do I cut these and put them in a vase? Or do I keep them? They're the only thing blooming in my yard right now. Yeah, that's a point that every young gardener has to deal with.

In December, I bought a magnolia tree. Okay. And it hasn't bloomed at all yet but did you know magnolias are 95 million years old yeah of course i knew that what are you yeah i knew that too insulting and that means that they're older than bees and so they don't use bees to pollinate what are they pollinating with beetles oh beetles did you say dinosaurs yes dinosaurs beetles are kind of like dinosaurs they've been around for a long time yeah right i mean so do you have a lot of beetles at your house because that's i don't know i don't see the beetles like that's wild actually i. I mean, I'm guessing they probably

bees could probably do the job now. Yeah, beetles are out. Bees are in. But the magnolias are like waxy enough that they can withstand thicker pollinators. You know what I'm talking about. The ladies know what I'm talking about. Boo! We're walking out.

Boo! But anyway, this is my pastime and it will be until you know the leaves fall on the ground in november wow that's amazing that's a nice way yeah that's a nice way to spend but i also haven't learned anything like everything you know some data statistics here uh yeah i guess i know 95 million that was the number i put down but i also don't know like everything seems to do just fine on its own without my intervention i'm just impatient right and uh they so things like every year uh the garden is more and more crowded because I'm like, well, this thing's only one foot wide. And then the next year it's like four feet wide. I'm like, oh, things are getting crowded in the garden.

Those are cool. Isn't that something where they go annually? Perennials? Is that a thing? Yeah. Perennials and annuals are different. Yeah. Perennials are around.

Fake answers only. Yeah. Perennials are around. Fake answers only. Yeah. Perennials weirdly come back annually. Right. And annuals die after a year. After an annual. Yeah. Okay.

Hmm. So, Dave, do you have a little costume that you wear when you guard? Yeah, I wear. Yeah, sure. Yeah. I wear a beekeeping costume to keep the beetles away for some reason. Do you have a hat? Do you have a gardening hat?

I don't have a hat. I have pants that I don't mind getting dirty. Okay. Cause there's a lot of kneeling. Um, cause I, you know, pray.

That's where you pray. Pray for the flowers to bloom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pray? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You gotta. Yeah. To Gaia, Mother Earth. Yeah.

Well, you gotta pray just to make it today. I heard that from a reliable source. Yeah, from a certain MC of a certain hammer. A certain tool. Anyway, yeah. Either of you have a flower you like i always like the they were popular for uh a hot bit at the like birds of paradise oh yeah those are those flowers those ones that like look like a bird of paradise yeah like it's a and then it's got that nice yeah yeah they had those at disneyland really when i was at disneyland i was like amazed by the

landscaping i was like that's someone's job to take care of the plants at disneyland that must be someone's dream job 100 oh yeah that's uh i feel like everything in disneyland is somebody's dream but job to some extent even the garbage people are like, this is the best. Yeah. It's the best garbage to have to deal with. We get to use underground tubes and tunnels. Oh, I get to clean up so many doll whips. Yeah.

Chicken, turkey thighs. Turkey thighs, yeah. Disgusting. Like, I just, it's like, let's go on a ride with the turkey leg. Like, let's just, you know what I've been craving? I've been jonesing for a turkey leg yeah in a hundred degrees in a hundred degrees with a pickle what yeah i just when i was i went a couple weeks ago it was oh cool 32 degrees so 90 ish and uh a woman uh had a

bread bowl full of macaroni and cheese. No. No, no, no, no, no. I don't think. And she died. A lot of people don't know that she died. She ended up dying. She didn't get enough doling. Kim, have you ever been to Disneyland?

Yeah, I have. As an adult or as a wee one? Absolutely not. Not as an adult. And I don't have wee ones, so I can't, I don't know why I would go. I can't do lineups anymore. Like I just cannot do lineups. And I loved it as a kid.

I just cannot rationalize standing two hours in line. I just can't. I just have too much stuff to do. I'm not. I'm that way with brunch. You should bring a notebook with you and write your play while you're standing in line. I hope if that happens, somebody punched me like that fucking writer he's like i've just been inspired what an indiana jones in this like what splash mountain can't stop me i've got a note take why is indiana jones in disneyland

how do you get in there i don't know i remember that i don't know but he is i remember that universal studios he's into maybe there's both but he's definitely in disneyland he's in disneyland yeah yeah that was good no good for him i like that have you been you go to detail as an adult i went when i know i went when i was a youth yeah and i i did not mind waiting in line because uh what the hell else did i have going on as a kid like uh let me go play with my i think you're probably remembering that wrong because as far as i could tell kids had a big problem with waiting in line at disneyland it teaches them though right the value of patience now they'll have phones like i remember like we

used to make friends with the other kids in the lineup or like the other families and by the time you got to a ride you know you'd have kicked rocks for like two hours together and it was like kind of a thing now i feel like you'd just be like on your phone i don't think that would be as fun i remember me my sisters would like have little games in the line and that was like to me that was like a lot of fun like i loved hanging with my sisters and stuff but like what was it like now is everyone just on their phones um yeah yeah i mean like if you have i have a five and a seven-year-old no one's bringing like two additional phones for their five and seven-year-old but we had we have uh we had what's called lightning lane where you can like reserve a

time that you go to the ride and then you don't have to wait in line. Whoa. And then, or you wait in a much, much shorter line. How do you get that? Is that cost? You pay extra, but then, well, like it's sort of like you, you can never really get it right away. So like, you're like, okay, well we can do the cars ride at three 30, but now it's, you know, two o'clock. So let's go wait in this other line. And we'll basically,

now we're basically waiting for two rides at once. Nice. That's good time management. Yeah. I'm all about it. Yeah. What's a Disney character that loves time? Oh,

that rabbit who's late for a very important date. Yeah. Alice, Alice in Wonderland. I remember going to Disney when it was like a little bit creepy, like when it was still in that, like, is it? Of course. Alice in Wonderland. I remember going to Disney when it was like a little bit creepy. Like when it was still in that dark. Oh, it still is.

Is it? Of course. What was creepy? Yeah. What do you find creepy? Yeah. Me? It was like the, did they still have that Toad one?

It was like the Mr. Toad part. And then it was like, that one was like. In Disneyland, they have a lot of the old alice in wonderland yeah the toad and peter pan and that old kind of like uh cp animation yeah before the computers were invented and you know just people toiled and you know got carpal tunnel with that's right yeah imagine like and every ride has a scary part. Like every ride has to go through, you know, you go, it's exciting. And then, oh, now you have to, oh, there's doom and gloom.

It's got to, everything's got to react structure. It's classic. It works. You know, problem, journey. Rising action. Rising action. Climax, fall, hero's journey, hope. Yeah.

Smash. Q&A at the end Dance A medley Tap dance Interpretive Lyrical Stand-up comedy For five minutes

And Final Bow Yeah that's what Everybody loves Is the stand-up comedy Portion of Of the Disney ride Intermission

You get Wine in a Blast the cup This guy with the Turkey leg Knows what I'm talking about, right? Anyway, so I'm back on my garden bullshit and I'm loving it. I just wish we

could get a few hotter degrees. This is a weird time to be into gardening. It was like snowing last night. I looked outside and I was like, the fuck? It was bad. You know what? I'm enjoying all the weathers that I can i was like the fuck it was bad yeah it's you know what i'm enjoying all the weathers that i can i like it when it's a mixed mash of weathers my kids weren't allowed to go out for recess because of the lightning oh it doesn't happen here yeah no

but also how cool is that if you're a kid you're like whoa lightning yeah pretty sweet well when i was a kid lightning what happened all the time and so we would just run around outside with lightning nobody cared nobody cared well it happened so often you eventually some kid was gonna get zapped so they were like but like as long as you're not the tallest kid you're fine yeah as long as you if you stand next to the tallest kid you're fine i thought it was like this like if you were wearing rubber or something, like, is that a true, is that a, is that a,

like if you had rubber was supposed to ground you. Yeah. Like I didn't even understand that to the ground. So I get more electrocuted. I don't know. It goes through you. Yeah. Wow.

I don't know. I don't get it, but I have rubber was supposed to protect you. Yeah. And I know, I know. And it also protects you from insults. Cause I'm rubber.

You're glue. Yes. Didn't feel it. Can't feel an insult for days. Did you guys like you? Have you ever electrocuted yourself at all or anything like that? Have you zapped yourself by accident? Accident.

I think accident. I accidentally one time put them. Oh, I can't believe I'm going to say this. When I first moved out to UBC, I accidentally put a metal thermos in the microwave because i didn't know you weren't supposed to do that uh and i almost lit the whole dorm on fire on the first night and they're like who the fuck is this kid and i was like my bad yeah my soup's cold yeah like what are you doing the soup was supposed to last me the the whole semester um i uh i think my mother once tried to unplug a toaster with a knife no and the knife got the two like toaster like the the plug uh gosh things that like prongs prongs yeah like burned into the knife and we kept the knife for years it was a big

like butcher knife wow and a conversation piece but you know you got your hands full you gotta unplug this uh toaster with a knife yeah do you ever use the knife to get the toast if the toast falls down no i unplug the toaster if that happens because i've seen too many public service announcements. Yeah. Yeah. Fair enough. Yeah. Do you ever get Zapscram? Yes, I did. I worked at a coffee shop and I was the coffee machine, like the big drip machine was not timing right.

So everything was coming out with grounds in it. So the instruction manual said that if you open up the lid, you can kind of flip a switch and it'll get it back into normal it's just like for some reason it became turned off so i went up there but i didn't uh didn't take the uh plug out of the old uh thing so i got quite i got quite electrocuted electrocuted what does it mean it feels like it feels like uh it goes through you and it feels like everything like all your organs are swelling it's like it's a very yeah yeah except for that one organ yeah somehow it dekes around that organ were you wearing rubber shoes yeah i was wearing a whole rubber suit it was during my fetish days latex you're in the red latex um that's right that was the coffee shops i'm sorry to hear that graham do you think that's why you are the way

you are yes before i was uh studying law and uh i was doing all sorts of great things with part of a polo team sure Sure. I, my, on April fool's day, my kids did a bunch of stupid pranks to me that I knew were coming. Uh, they did a fly in the ice cube. They did, um,

whoopee cushion. They did a fake snake, uh, in my, uh, underwear drawer. And they did this thing with an electrified pen or like a pen that buzzed me.

And it hurt so much, this pen. Like I knew it was coming. I knew that everything that they were setting me up for was a prank. But I was like, oh, well, let me just click this pen on. And it just vibrated my thumb and I could feel it through my arm for hours. Don't like it.

No. I seem to recall. Did you laugh in front of them? Yeah, of course. I know I was fake scared. There we go. Oh, you pranked me so bad, you bad kids. That's awesome they do pranks.

Yeah, they're the original pranksters. Oh, you should get the offspring to do some music for your play. The original pranksters. Oh, you should get the offspring to do some music for your play. Yeah. So, yeah, garden time is happening. What's happening with you, Graham? I got to visit one great city, Winnipeg, Manitoba.

Wow. I got to go play the comedy club there, which is one of my faves and has been around for like since the 70s and uh so this was like my first time back doing anything more than 10 minutes and so i was a wreck and uh oh no i was so nervous and the place they, they used to put you up at a condo that the comedy club was renting. And the condo, the deal changed or something. So they, now you're staying in a hotel. And the hotel's name is the Viscount Gort. Ah, it's spelled Viscount? Viscount Gort, yes.

I think he may have been a governor general. Yeah, that's my next play actually. That's what my next play is called. Viscount Gort. Yes. I think he may have been a governor general. Yeah. That's my next play, actually. That's what my next play is called. Viscount Gort? Yeah. There was the first governor general of Canada, the Viscount Monk. No.

Really? Yeah. Well, the Gort, get him to the Gort, is something that I started saying over the week. So, how long, this wasn't just a weekend. You were there all week. Yeah. I was there from Tuesday to,

and then I came home on Sunday. And how many shows is that? One Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and then two Friday, Tuesday, Saturday.

And then, so that's, did it get easier as you went on? Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't remember jokes. Like, I couldn't remember how they went. Kind of, I knew how they went.

But then you're like, your timing's shot. It's, you know, I could remember the joke, but I was, like, always hitting the punchline, like, a second too late. And the audience is like, hmm. Like, they got it, but they weren't amused by it. Dee, what do you do for nerves? Like nerves is like a thing. Do you guys ever get nervous for this?

Yeah, I drink. Yeah. Fair enough. It's where, yeah, I smoke a whole pack of cigarettes. Right before you go on? Yeah, right before you go on. He wants more nerves. Yeah, exactly.

I want to be nice and tightly wound. Yeah. But yeah, it did. It did get better over the week. But staying at the Gort, the whole like Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, I didn't see another person in the hotel. I saw the staff at the front desk and no other people. Did you hear anyone even? No, I didn't hear anybody.

Were the elevators in use no that's the thing like i never got when you went when you left your room did you see the uh housekeeping staff cleaning other rooms no that's the thing i never they never knocked on my door the housekeeping staff this is like this is like a coma shining yeah yeah it's like exactly it's like uh i went in there to do comedy shows and then i was writing my set list and then i saw oh no work and no play makes you a dull boy um but yeah so the uh didn't see very many people at the gort which meant that the hotel pool was un you know unencumbered by a bunch of kids splashing around. Okay.

So I had full access to the hotel pool. Isn't it snowing in Winnipeg? Well, it's indoors. Okay, there we go. Yeah. And yes, it is snowing. What, um, what is the, uh, describe the pool. Okay.

Picture it. Okay. I'm doing it. It's a square, right? Square size pool. Square sized? Okay. Square sized pool. Size of a square, right? Square size pool. Square sized? Square sized pool.

Size and square. When you walk in, that's the first thing you see. Off to your left is the hot tub. And then off to behind the hot tub is like a little, like a kiddie pool for Splashers. Whoa. And how any, how big? Like deep, it was one meter and 1.5 deep how big a square square size i don't know i'm not good with feet like at least like did you do laps or was it no no no no okay this was just

like for bobbing standing bobbing pool yeah okay yeah it's always interesting but uh water slide yes you water slide yeah yes so many times i loved it it was the best just by yourself there Interesting. But. Waterslide? Yes. Waterslide. Do you use it? Yes. So many times. I loved it. It was the best. Just by yourself there? Yeah. That's amazing.

Was there a lifeguard? No lifeguard on duty. Yeah. And you know what? Even if they had the lifeguard, he wouldn't have been there because nobody was in the court. No, the S was there and you weren't even there. I wasn't even there.

I just have a memory. It was a fever dream. Yeah. Exactly. Since you were by yourself yourself you didn't see anyone the whole time did it did it occur to you it might be fun to do some skinny divot uh yes it did occur to me and uh just as soon as i did that i knew that a hockey team would be rolling in but yeah so you'd be like mr bean when his swimsuit falls off at the pool and the the girls swim team comes by yeah yeah exactly uh but there was a bar attached to the hotel and there were people in that bar but they weren't people staying in the hotel this was just like a hangout and the the vical court bar is the best deal i've ever had in my life tell me like

i got one night i got uh a beer two beers and two whiskey drinks and the total came to eleven dollars oh yeah right drinks two whiskey drinks he drinks two lager two cider drinks yeah so like 11 bucks i like at the point where it's like you must have done something wrong but i didn't say it because i was like well maybe i'm getting a sweet deal 11 bucks a good hotel bar or restaurant can make or break a trip like if you go to i feel like i love when there's like a cool bar lounge attached to the right place you're saying like it's fucking the best it's just like oh my god this is slick and where's your best where's your best one that you stayed at well like i feel like i was just at one in

nanaimo when and i was like uh this is great like you just come home we can have a drink have some dinner and then fucking take the elevator home like it's just so brilliant there was a good one when i was in wales for um roller derby we stayed in Wales for roller derby. We stayed at one. Whoa, whoa, whoa. You did international roller derby? Stop the recording. We're starting again. I should actually check the recording.

I'm going to make sure I'm not messing this up. I think it's still going. Yep, still going. There we go. I was a head coach of men's team Canada roller derby. Whoa, what? This is insane. That's another left turn.

I was like, okay, obviously you did roller derby with a women's team. No, I was the head coach of Team Canada. Yeah. So we were at World Cup in Cardiff. So is Team Canada like they do with curling where they just get a group that's already worked together? Or is it like hockey where they just pick the best roller derby guys from all over the country? Oh, we had tryouts. I had to fly across the country.

We had tryouts. What qualified you to coach? I was a player. So at my peak, I was one of the top 10 teams in the state. So I got drafted to the Seattle women's team. What's the name of the Seattle? Rat City. Rat City.

Seattle's Rat City. So they were great. And then I broke my leg. And that kind of ended my career. And I had previously broken my leg the year before. So I had two broken legs within 12 months. And I was just like, I think I'm done. Did you break them both doing roller derby? Oh, yeah.

Shit. Yeah. Yeah. And one was in the States. I was skating against this guy named quadzilla he's this big black dude and he i ran into him and i bounced off and my leg they do it's co-ed roller derby no but you practice co-ed sometimes like coaches can be um any gender yeah so i was just like yeah quadzilla hit it but i didn't have like i was

like i'm not going to american hospitals like i've like the girls were like you're gonna get a twenty thousand dollar medical bill so luckily enough my mom had come down with me because she wanted to get the deals at the mall down there so she's like i'll come along get some macy's get some ivors yeah get some corn corn nut chocolate while we're down here however the fuck you pronounce that uh and uh I said shit it's not too broken so I picked up my stuff and I taped it really good I told the PT the physiotherapist you got to wrap this shit good I got to go back to Canada she was like I was like no I'm not joking so i walked out of there drove down the i-5 like moving my leg from the gas to the stop and like picked up my mom you have to drive oh your mom

didn't drive you no because she was at the mall so then i had to go from the train to pick up the mall and i was like something happened she's like the fuck so then we drove from seattle i can't drive either i got drunk at ivers uh yeah so she was like can we go to target still and i was like no and so we drove i hate to ask this but i know she's like i haven't gone to target yet we still have to i know the answer already but and then we'll take you right to the hospital, Kim. I wonder, because when I go to America, I now have to get travel insurance. Really? And when you, well, you don't have to, but I do just to be, because I'm a sensible dad. Even for a day trip?

Well, you know what? When I do it, I do it. I get a year's worth. That's what I've done with travel insurance. I should do that. And then you can't go for like, you pick what your maximum stay will be. In the course of a year, I won't go for more than 10 days or whatever. Sure.

But when you fill out the online thing to say what you're doing, if you're going to be doing like, I don't know what they call it, but it's like an extreme activity or something. And it shows a picture of someone on like a dirt quad, like an ATV. Extreme activity. Yeah. Then click here and your rate will go up. Yeah.

But I wonder what roller derby would be. I had Canadian insurance, but I was just moving teams. But there was a different thing. Did you have a name? Yeah. It was Feisty Coyote. You were Feisty Coyote? Mm-hmm. but I was just moving teams. So like I, but there was a different, like, did you have a name? Yeah, it was feisty coyote. You were feisty coyote. You're feisty coyote.

Yeah. Right. She was the one who broke her leg. My sister though, Carlene had the best roller derby name. Uh, it was Buffy St. Fury.

Uh, she was just slick. It was so slick. She was on team cat women she was amazing she was incredible and i i jokingly say like i just kind of joined to like hang out with her because she's so cool um and then i said well you seem pretty cool by bronson i think i might want to do a ladybug situation and put on a wig and join just to hang out with her you can just join well what would your guys's roller derby name be like do you guys have nicknames or like have you thought about like dick dirtson pardon dick dirtson yeah

and mine would be fart bartender come on fart um that's how did the team do that you were coaching uh well i coached the vancouver men's team for a while we were the number one team in canada which is probably why i got the canadian job and then uh we came fifth at world cup uh which was not bad it wasn't great but it was like uh the top four teams was like america uh britain france and australia and they just have like higher population numbers like most time you know like it's actually kind of amazing we do so well at hockey with the numbers that we have but yeah it was really fun but like to the best part about that was the bar attached to our hotel in cardiff wales at world cup it was like this old tutor bar that was just like all the old time people like these cardiff welsh people

in the neighborhood would come and i felt like we were on like coronation street. And I was like, this is the fucking dandiest thing ever. Yeah. It was great. It was really good. It was, uh,

the, I went into the bar three times at least. And the same people were there in the same seats. Wow. Every single time I went in. Did they have pull tabs? They had a VLTs. Wow.

Yeah. What are pull tabs? They're like, I have like 50 50 cents you kind of like pull them and they're like scratch and win things no they have a if you have three in a row you win it's like yeah you rip them off there's like little covers on them that you rip off i did i wanted to play where i had to pull those and i won in the play five hundred dollars so now every time i go to a bar that has them i play just just to see if one day I win $500. You will if you do it long enough. If you spend enough cash. Yeah, that should be like a gambling

mantra. Just write gambling into every play and maybe you'll win some money. You will if you play enough. BC Lotto. Yeah. Should we move on to some overheards? Oh, I think we have a bit of business we do well let's do a bit of business well it's time for a bit of business oh buddy you're right uh and this week

we've got a uh uh this is one from alice and laser alice and laser. And they want you to listen to the best idea of all time. This is the name of a podcast wherever you find podcasts, uh, or look for it at best idea. Gay, a real website, best idea. Gay.

Okay. You get a dot gay website. You can get a dot. A lot of things now, like I think dot com is has waned and so there's like there's all sorts of dot things it's a great time well yeah no we love it yeah uh alice and laser are two queer friends who love the movie carol do you know this movie with uh boy i want to say kate blanchett oh is it a scary movie no it is a romance drama with

cape blanchett and runy mara from 2015 interesting no i haven't seen well you're gonna want to see carol a lesbian classic about falling in love with Cate Blanchett. And now they're watching it every week for a year on their podcast, The Best Idea of All Time. Yes. And they'll slowly become unhinged is kind of the idea. I think that's probably the idea. They've had guests including Paul F. Tompkins. We know him.

Lumberjanes comic creator Grace Ellis. Well, I've read that. Tompkins. We know him. Lumberjanes comic creator, Grace Ellis. Well, I've read that. Yeah, sure. And best idea of all time host, Tim Batt. Tim Batt. That's the one where they watch something else every week. So what you can do is listen to the best idea of all time, wherever you find podcasts or at bestidea.gay.

Enjoy your Carol content content now let's move on to some overheards max fun drive 2022 starts in just one week monday april 25th we'll have exclusive max fun drive gifts awesome episodes bonus content and you know what else? You'll just have to tune in. We have some tricks up our sleeve. Sleeves? Tricks? Is it plural? We'll catch you next week, the greatest time to support the podcasts you love. Max Fun Drive starts on Monday, April 25th. Don't miss it. If you're sick of constantly arguing with the people closest to you about topics that really aren't going to change the world, we're here to take that stress off of your shoulders. We take care of it for you on We Got This with Mark and Hal.

That's right, Hal. If you have a subjective question that you want answered objectively once and for all time for all of the people of the world questions like who's the best disney villain mac or pc or should you put ketchup on a hot dog that's why we're here yes i get that these are the biggest question of our time and we're often joined by special guests like nathan fillion orlando jones and paget brewster so let mark and how take care of it for you on We Got This with Mark and Hal, weekly on Maximum Fun. Overheard.

All right, here we go. Overheard. If you're out there roaming around, roaming the prairies, maybe the mountains, maybe the desert, maybe the seaside, maybe you hear something great don't lock it away let it live let it fly and bring it here to the podcast we always like to start with the guest kim will you please okay so uh this is what i heard on a ferry just walking by i take a ferry a lot uh so i knew it was going on here and i was like great this will be some data collection yes and i was just kind of trolling doing some gants around the bottom deck i'm like who looks ridiculous yes yes yes and i just was like i tried to listen in on a couple conversations

and nothing was coming and pretty sure one guy knew i was listening i just kind of walked away uh but i walked by this one lady and like she was i didn't have the context for it but she was just like i still don't know how to use a chainsaw with confidence yes yes the key is confidence same and i was just like whoa whoa whoa like i don't know if anyone has any real confidence in it like you i feel like you can do it i think the carvers probably do yeah carvers that they do the ice and they do you know the one only ice carving experience i have was like i one time did a christmas job to make some extra cash at the vancouver club you guys ever been there it's like the fancy i i know it but i've never been inside yeah down yeah cool old billy it's a uh what do you call it a social club or a gentleman's

thousand dollar fee a year it's like really wild and so i remember i was working a christmas shift and i did have these big ice sculptures and this one if you were like working late the kind of fun thing you could do when all the bosses left was throw the ice sculpture off this one balcony and watch it like explode it was so sad did they get a new yes ice sculpture every day every day what was it like a lady cherub or whatever those things are a cherub cherub a reindeer yeah i don't know i don't know. Cherubub. No, we're going with Cherubub. Cherubub. Cherub? Cherub? It was a Cherub. It was a turkey leg, you guys.

It was a turkey leg. It was only Disney food. Yeah, sure. Yeah, Dole Whip. Dole Whip and turkey legs. I'll see you in the bathroom. Oh, my stomach's going Cherubub. Dave, do you have an overheard?

Yeah So this was I was outside And I heard an old I heard an old couple And I think they were talking about Pete Davidson Sure One of them said

I don't know why he goes for Kim And the other one said He's manic depressive So he doesn't know why he goes for Kim. And the other one said, he's manic depressive, so he doesn't know what he's doing half the time. Ooh, wow. Jeez Louise. Which I feel like is a very old kind of like view of bipolar disorder. 100%. Like half the time, he knows what he's doing. Another half.

Who knows? Wowee, whoa. half the time he he knows what he's doing who knows wow and also the time when i'm super crazy that's what i want kim kardashian yeah that's a lot i don't know who's dating up in that one but that's uh that's a while yeah who is who's coming up with a good side of that deal i mean i think this is what one of those things you know when they say in a good side of that deal? I mean, I think this is one of those things where, you know, when they say a good negotiation, everyone walks away unsatisfied. That's what that is? Yes. Yeah, I think so. Okay. My

overheard, I don't know if I've done this before, so, well, just let it fly and see what happens. This was a couple walking together, and one said it like a very nice, like, I know your work. Said it like that, like, I'm familiar with your work. She said, I know your work.

And he said, yeah, nachos, spinach bowls. That's his work. Well, I can tell you haven't said that before. Okay. But also, I'm trying to imagine. So, he's doing spinach bowls, but taking a, he's doing nachos, but instead of nachos, spinach. Instead, I think what I picture is a spinach bowl with nachos in there. Oh, I'm picturing a spinach bowl, but with cheese melted on top and guacamole and you just dip.

Dip a chip into that. Well, no, that is the, the nachos are the chips. I mean, the spinach is the chips they're bad chips and they're not chip like in any way can you maybe that's why this person i'm not familiar with this person's work can you the other person can you turn can you the way that you can like make kale into chips can you do that with spinach no nobody's tried nobody's tried and nobody will nobody wants that i'm not even popeye no no you're right popeye would fucking love it that pervert i was thinking like i immediately went to bread bowl i was like this bread bowl with the nachos

and i don't even know it's just where does the spinach come in in the in the bread bowl because it's nachos and i don't know why i went there but uh now i kind of want all of that yeah oh not notorious not notorious enough apparently was that what it was spinach nacho bowl spinach nacho bowl yeah this isn't gonna be like last week when we uh we didn't know what crab rangoon was and everyone thinks we're crazy. Yeah, everybody kept saying how crazy we were for not knowing crab rangoon. Uncultured. Yeah. Okay, now we have, we've got overheards sent in from people all over the map. If you want to send one in to us, it's

spy at maximumfund.org. This first one comes from John K. in Rochester, new york i am currently waiting for some new tires at a tire shop called mr tire the customer just walked in and said to the employee at the desk hey i'm the i'm the guy with the tires i called you before about tires yeah this is the tire shop you're the tire guy you you you remember me right you're familiar with my work familiar yeah tire guy absolutely oh we should have called called this show mr podcast mr podcast yes i mean definitely better than what we chose your guys name is amazing it's hilarious yeah it's bomb explaining it to people is fun

yeah oh good somebody was like what are you doing and I was like I'm going to stop podcasting yourself podcasting yourself they're going on stop no the name is anyways yeah it's not important this next one comes from

Jesse Porter. Sorry, Jesse P. I blew it. Jesse P. Uh-huh. From Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. I have an overseen I saw at work the other day. I worked night shift at a grocery store, ordering and stocking shelves.

And the other night, uh, we were left a note to rework the shelf with Uncle Ben's rice packs. The shorthand on the note said, Ben's moist rices needs working. I mean, that's the worst thing that can happen to an Uncle Ben's. The moisture somehow gets in. Yeah. Yeah. He's working.

So get to it. Chop, chop. I like those packs. I love rice. Yeah. Yeah. Rice rules. Rice is underrated, but it takes a sauce like

nobody's business yeah it's still yeah and that sticky rice that you get sometimes where it's just like at all too sticky yeah no i love sushi rice like crispy rice yeah all of it wild i'm gonna i'm gonna make people mad but rice is above potato in my starch. Oh, well, that's not true. I agree. I can't participate. I'm allergic to potato, so I think I agree by default. Oh, by default.

Okay. But I also agree. And I maybe feel attacked, but you guys got to do it. Boy, I think it's tied. No, bread is above it. Bread rules. That's the top of the pillar. You can't have bread? Well, it's tied. No, my bread is above it. Bread rules. That's the top of the pillar. You can't have bread?

Well, I have gluten. I'm that asshole. Can't have the gluten. No, I know a lot of people who can't gluten. I feel, yeah, it sucks. It was just like one day I learned, I was like, oh, wow, food shouldn't feel like a rock. It shouldn't feel like you ate a boulder.

Oh, whoops, been doing this wrong. Yeah, exactly. You don't need to have a nap every time you eat food i figured that but i don't know rice is amazing bread is amazing okay we all yeah love rice but you know what's the most the best food of all corn nuts and popcorn and chocolate and chocolate right and And we look forward to, yes, ranch flavored. Ranch flavored popcorn nuts. Yeah. So stay tuned for the next couple of weeks.

I'm sure I'll go down and get it at one point. This last one comes from Aaron in Arizona. Whoa. It's a quick overheard. I know, right? He must be like the king of Arizona. Yeah. I named this place after me.

I didn't say his full name, but it is Aaron Zona. Aaron Z from Aaron Zona. Zona Zona, coming to you at 99.3. The Fox. The Armadillo. The Armadillo. The Armadillo on the rock.

What's my roller derby name? Armadillo on the rock yeah um this is a quick overheard from trader joe's between a four or five year old and his dad kid said what's that and the dad said lobster ravioli and the kid pauses and says what's lobster and what is ravioli? Yes. Two part question. Sounds great. Yeah, you there, kid. Fair enough.

Yeah. I mean, uh. Maybe when I go down to pick up my mail and over to Trader Joe's get some lobster ravioli. In addition to overheards that are written in we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one.

Ugh. SpyPod 1 on the armadillo on the rock. The armadillo, the armadillo, the armadillo. With Aaron Zona. Here we go. Hey, guys. I was listening to the radio with my 8-year-old, and Gangster's Paradise came on. And I told him, I was like, oh, my God, when this song came out, it was everywhere.

It was such a popular song. And it was in a movie that was really popular. And he said, oh, what movie? Back to the Future? What movie is like that? Back to the Future? It's like an hour ago and I keep laughing about it. Okay, bye.

But in this kid's defense, it's not from a famous movie. Kids wouldn't know Dangerous Minds. Good for the kid. They taught us Dangerous Minds in school and I feel like the fact that they don't these days is a crime. Good for the kid. They were taught, they taught us dangerous mind in school. And I feel like the fact that they don't these days is a crime.

Against humanity. Yes. Thank you. It's a crime against humanity. Yeah. Never has a leather jacket and a red flannel meant more. Yeah. Did you watch it?

Have you seen it? Absolutely. I like, yeah, it was like 94. It was a great year for movies. Yeah. Dangerous minds included. She doesn't,

what does she do? A karate chop or she like puts her nails on the chalkboard or something like that. Yeah. Read the poem. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Poetry is going to save your life.

What? No. I think every actor should have to do a role where they're teaching a bunch of difficult kids. But I do remember that movie. I remember that song. But I remember we had, I think I've told the story. We had a, was it in French class or social studies?

We had one teacher who got reassigned at the start of the year. Another teacher who quit or like had a nervous breakdown or something. And then the third teacher came in and said, hey, I'm like Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds. I, you know, I, the last place I taught was in the inner city of Montreal. So you kids don't scare me. She lasted like two weeks.

What school were you? Where did you? Kitsilano. Kitsilano? Wow. It was just like. The West Side? It was justano. Kitsilano? Wow. It was just like... The West Side? It was just, you know,

rowdy rugby players. It wasn't like... Oh, God. ...guns or drugs or anything. Sometimes that's more intimidating. True. I know, they sucked. Yeah.

Here's your next phone call. Hey, guys. My name is Chris. Calling in with an overheard. I was leaving a grocery store. It's Kroger. We have those in the eastern southern Unitedard I was leaving a grocery store it's Kroger we have those in the southern United States it's a grocery store chain

anyway I was leaving checkout and one of the employees said to one of the customers hey what are you doing back in here and then the customer said I was born that way and then she said what and then he said did you ask me what am I doing that way. And then she said, what? And then he said, did you ask me

what am I doing black in here? And then she said, no. Alright, off I go. You know what? Happens all the time. You can't actually ask me that. I'm surprised they answered. Hey guys,

my name is Chris. Oh, it's playing again. Welcome back, Chris. Hey Chris, what are is Chris. Oh, it's playing again. Welcome back, Chris. Hey Chris, what are you doing back in here? Yeah, Chris, you're on from... What is it, Toledo? What do I want to say? Where is a good caller name from? Walla Walla? Walla Walla.

Chattanooga. Chattanooga, yes. Thank you. Calling from somewhere where they had Kroger. Yeah, Chattanooga. Here we go you. Calling from somewhere where they had Kroger. Yeah, Chattanooga. All right. Here we go. Final phone call. Here we go.

Hi, Dave Graham, Impossible Guest. This is Julie in southern Indiana with an overseen. I was just behind a Jeep with a decorative cover on the spare wheel on the back. And it said, never underestimate a nurse with a Jeep. And then as a bonus, it had a vanity license plate on the back that said A-N-O-N-R-Y-1, which around here,

ornery is like a dialectal pronunciation of the word ornery, so I guess this is some kind of badass nurse. Well, off I go. Nurse with a Jeep. I wouldn't I go. Nurse with a Jeep. I wouldn't mess with a nurse with a Jeep. Are you kidding me? Yeah.

That's a lot. That's a lot of investment in car paraphernalia. Yeah. A hobo with a shotgun. Nurse with a Jeep. Yeah, that's right. Paying, getting a sticker and. And a tire cover.

Also, imagine if your culture is so, uses the word ornery so much that you have even like a more like a localized version of ornery. Yeah. Couldn't. Wouldn't. Can't. Dave, you have those stickers on the back of your car, right? Yeah. Version or zombie version.

Yeah. Canadian girls kick ass. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Calvin Hobbs peeing on the donut. 99% Angel. Yeah.

Podcaster with a Jeep. I've won three comedy awards. I'm hard to prove. Yeah, proud parent of somebody. Proud parent of one and a half comedy awards. Yeah. Oh, man. Well, that means that we're right close to the end of the podcast here.

Kim, you were so much fun. Thank you so much for being here. Was it Kim or was it Mary? It was Mary. Sorry, Mary. Sorry, Kim. Mary. No, shit.

From now on, it's Mary. Kim, where can people find you and enjoy your many works? You could go Instagram. I'm on Instagram quite a bit. Okay. Yeah. Kim Sanklip or Kim Sanklip Harvey on Facebook, Twitter,

Instagram, TikTok's fun. And then if you're in the Toronto area, I'm heading there for May and June to direct Cam Lupa. That's happening at Soul Pepper. So we open June 30th, I believe. So get your tickets.

Get your tickets now. Absolutely. Yeah. Get your tickets now. And then we, they open for three or four weeks down in Toronto. So that'll be the world the premiere of the east coast premiere of that show governor general award winning play cam lupa courtston's courts courtston's courts get your tickets today that's about rocks and gems and somebody else if you only go to one show this year,

go to Shen Yun. But if you're going to two courts and courts, Shen Yun was so disappointed. They didn't get the call. They were going to win the governor general. Eight weeks out. Shen Yun, you win it,

but don't tell anyone. Yeah, I know. It was close. Well, thanks again. And thank you. All you people out there. You know what?

Each and every one of you is a unique, special guy. And next week, prepare yourself, you special, unique guys. Yeah, you special, unique guys. For Max Fun Drive. This is the time of year where we bring your favorite guests. We pull out all the stops. You may have noticed in this episode, we included one stop,

but we're pulling it out next week. Yeah. We're going to ask you to support the show. It's going to be fun. It's going to be fabulous. We're going to be fit. So it's going to be great. Thank you again for all you listeners out there.

Take care of yourself. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.