Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 74 - LIVE, with Charlie Demers

Episode Date: August 2, 2009

Three-timer Charlie Demers joins us to talk Just For Laughs, fireworks, and we stuntcast Star Wars.  Recorded live at The Biltmore Cabaret in East Vancouver.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody! Hey! Yeah, believe that. That sounds pretty good. Pump your brakes on that.

Welcome to a special live edition of Stop Podcasting Shells. I think this is episode number 74? Yeah. My name is Graham Clark, and joining me as always is a man who was back and forth all night on wearing a jacket, decided to go without Mr. Dave Shumka, everybody. Hey, everybody. Thanks. Why not? The jacket is being worn by my chair. And I'm dressed like a Jonas brother.

Hey! Graham, for the home listener, is wearing a lovely six-button vest, the kind that Kimby Mutombo would wear. If he was alive today. Rest in peace. And tonight, a very, very special guest, a very, very special guest, a very, very funny man, a gentleman who just a few days ago came back from the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal.

He has a novel coming out this fall called Vancouver Special. He is my co-host on the City News List. He is a very funny man, a podcast favorite. I believe his third time here on the podcast. Is that correct? Yeah, the first ever three-timer. The first ever three-time champ of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Please welcome to the stage Mr. Charlie Demers, everybody.

Yes. Yes. Sit down, enjoy. Thank you. Welcome. Thank you, boys. Before we start, Dave, what Thank you Welcome Thank you, boys Before we start, Dave, what do you think? Do you think we should get to know us?

Why not? Let's see if I can figure out Can you do it? Get to know us Oh, God, I have a beautiful singing voice Yeah, yeah, you do My goodness You're an actual Jonas brother I am an actual Jonas brother.

It's a rank in the army. As is our tradition here in the podcast, we like to get to know the guest. First, see what's going on. You just, just came back from the Just for Laughs Festival in Montreal. That's what the just stands for. You just, just, just.

I think the people listening deserve to know that it's a classier set than past visits to the podcast. You know that picture that you see of construction workers sitting on a beam with their lunch? That's usually how we tape the podcast. I'm the feminist we-can-do-it lady. I'm Uncle Sam.

Like a studded, overstuffed... Riveted, if you will. we can do it lady. But this is like I'm Uncle Sam. I'm a lady by the way. Like a studded overstuffed Riveted if you will. Riveted. I feel like this is how Criterion DVD tracks

are recorded. They sit back and it goes I was and they rest the mic on their chest. There's graham

cracker crumbs everywhere. If it's Orson Welles. Gone too soon. Yes, I just... See you when I get there. Yeah, no, I got back on

Sunday. It was a fun... And how was it? It's like the biggest comedy festival in Canada. In the French-speaking world. French-speaking North American world. It's way bigger than the Winnipeg

Comedy Festival. The Métis Comedy Festival. Another Louis Riel joke? Are you kidding me? That guy was hung. They're serious guys. Yeah, we'll edit that out. All right. Yeah, no, it's a big thing.

There's a lot of famous people there. Yeah, absolutely. And they're in the lobby of the, no, the bar of the Hyatt. Okay, so you used to be at the Delta. That's where most of the people hang out. Here's the thing about the Hyatt in Montreal.

If you love club soda, present, go on, and hate the money that you have, go to the Hy that you have. Go to the Hyatt in Montreal. Five dollar club soda.

Wow. Is it out of a can or a spritzer? Spritz. Wow. A lot of environmentalists say we should be paying that much for club soda. We've been underpaying for club soda for years. That's CO2, people. It's catching up to us. Can we do a quick shout out?

Yes. We had a gentleman who's a big fan of the podcast and his wife was not able to be here this evening because she is attending to their newborn. She's serving overseas. Give a hand for our troops. But not anywhere that our troops are. That's the weird thing.

She's serving as a waitress in Belgium. She's serving. Which is hard. You've got to support our waitresses. They have a different glass for every beer in Belgium. It's a purple ribbon that you can put on your car. Go to Stella's, people.

So, yeah, the daughter's name was Penelope. And the wife's name was Dal Ray. And I don't have a name to give. Yeah. Do you want to give a shout out to anybody? Pabst Blue Ribbons are on sale for $3.75. Oh, hey! Yeah. And you can get one free

with every fixed gear bicycle you buy. They won their blue ribbon in a kickball tournament. So anyone, just feel free. This is real loosey-goosey. Whatever happens, happens. Get up, get a drink if you feel the need. We're trying to sell alcohol. and get a drink if you feel the need we're trying to sell alcohol we get a cut

yeah yeah yeah do we get a cut? we get a copy of Meg Ryan in the cut as good I think she goes topless that was a final throws

of Meg Ryan she was like cute's out the window goes topless. Was she? That was a final throws of Meg Ryan's. She was like, cute's out the window. So topless, let's try it. Yeah, let's see how big my boobs are. Let's see how big my boobs are. Remember that game at the carnival? All right. Charlie.

Yes. You just came back from Just for Life. Lots of celebrities there. Lots of celebrities. Lots of celebrity. I don't know if there's anyone here who's a devotee as I am of the film Amazon Women on the Moon I don't know if anyone if you've heard that

seen that movie it's a 1980s cult classic with David Allen Greer in it of In Living Color and he does a sketch with BBK with David Alan Greer in it. Dag. Who's in... Of In Living Color, man. Of In Living Color. And he does a sketch with, and I'm not making this up,

he does a sketch with B.B. King, blues legend. Blues boy King. Yeah, of blues comedy. He's, you can see B.B. King at the Sin Bin this week. A little inside baseball. That's pretty good. I think that's going to translate to Oregon.

I think people are going to love it. I feel like when you are around these celebrities... Oh, that's bad news. Hello? Careful. No, it's gone. It's over. Sound guy's freaking out. Sound guy's freaking out.

Sound guy's on the... Give it up for the sound guy. Oh! Yeah. Yeah. I have to admit that it slightly undermined my case to give it up for the sound guy that the mic cut out while I was trying to get him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give it up for the sound guy. That's mostly the kind of comedy i do just sound effect simulation um anyhow when you meet like a celebrity you know like sometimes you try and you try to reference something obscure that they did to impress them kind of that you've been following their uh their oeuvre and you met bb.B. King. No, I'm sorry. I met David Alan Greer. And so I was like, you know, look,

I really am a... I know it's been a while, but I loved Amazon Women on the Moon. And he goes, like he gets... He puts on the cockiest face of anyone I've ever seen. He goes, man, you know who I was up against for that role?

Is it swearing? Is it loud on the door? I like your black voice. This is not my David Allen Greer. It's just my all-purpose black. Your omnibus? This is my APB. And that's what they mean when they say

they're putting out an APB. I'm putting out an APB on the motherfucker. I'll purse. So he goes, man, you know who I took that roll from? And he thought he had it. O.J. O.J. And I was like, really? And he was like,

and he was like, yeah, man, that was back when he was the juice. He had a lot of pull in the audition. Yeah, exactly. So he went in, apparently,

and O.J. was in there, and he was like, He was fuming. Yeah, no, he was like, because at that point, He had a knife.

Oh, God. Yeah. He totally thought he had it. And actually, when Alan Greer was telling the story, I just about called him David. We just relaxed together.

He goes, Dave Algrit. D-L-G. D-L-Gitty. He goes, he was like, man, he was so confident. And I was like, I got this role. And I was like, man, he was so confident. And I was like, he was like, I got this role. And I was like, no, you fucking don't.

And he didn't. David Alan Greer did, in fact, get the role that was meant for OJ. Wow. Do you think he busts that story out every time anybody tries a conversation with him? I would assume any time they bring up that movie. Well, I guess you bring up that movie. That's true. To be fair, it wasn't him who was like, you know what movie I was in?

You started that bull. Otherwise he just goes, do you remember Men on Film? I hate faggots. Because I went to Just for Life several years ago. I've never been. Yeah, well, it's nothing. You didn't miss nothing.

The big thing the year I was there, all the comics, there was like an after party and everybody was talking about After the parties, the hotel lobby. Yeah, exactly.

There was going to be a party featuring something called Mini Kiss. Yeah, yeah. Which is a version of kiss with all little people in it. And everybody was like, oh, you

gotta see mini kiss. This is going to blow your fucking mind. It's fronted by a guy named Recessive Gene Simmons. That's why he's a three-timer folks but it was it became like the buzz of the festival oh we're all gonna go see this mini kiss and so we all show up it's this tiny little bar honest to god they couldn't have picked a tinier bar to have mini-KISS appear in. The KISS sign, that is the traditional thing that you associate with KISS,

could have been a light break. It was so tiny. But it's crowded with basically everybody attending the festival. So much so, I'm sitting at the bar drinking, and then I realize at the last second, oh shit, this is Minikiss. I'm not going to be able to see a fucking thing. And I don't.

The whole show, all I see is the very top of the Gene Simmons thing with the ponytail on top. That's all I get to see. They didn't have the platform boots? No, even with that, it was still mini. He was the mini-est of the Min on top. That's all I get to see. They didn't have the platform boots? No, even with that, it was still mini. He was the mini-est of the mini-kiss. He just sticks out his little tongue. But then, after the show,

I was talking to a guy who saw the whole show, and I was like, that was pretty good. They sounded a lot like Kiss. And I was like, they didn't fucking play any instruments. They were just lip-s syncing to a Kiss CD.

It was two hours of posing. That's all it was. They could have had cardboard instruments up there. There's actually a second little person, little person tribute band. Kiss tribute band. I think it's, I forget the name. Tiny Kiss, Kiss Junior, Kiss for Kiss. Hershey's Kisses. Hershey's Kisses, yeah I forget the name. Tiny Kiss, Kiss Junior,

Hershey's Kisses. Bite-sized Kiss. Tiny and delicious. But apparently there's quite the little rivalry there. It seems odd that a band known for, like you say, platform shoes. That would take a lot of the bite out of it.

But it was also, it was like, the whole career, it's not like anybody is like, you know, it would be great to see Kiss, but shrunken down, like tinier. Kiss is too big for me. I want to see a Lego Kiss.

But it's got to be demoralizing because all you do, it just lasts. The whole thing is just just you hope that people come and see a show that you're on. That's the whole point of it. That's why Little Kiss was there. So then Tiny Kiss, it's just packed every night. Lip syncing to Kiss.

It's pretty demoralizing. I hope they get a show. I hope they get a TV deal. Mini Gene Simmons mini family duels? Yeah, sure. Who wouldn't watch? Oh, Lordy. Lordy. Well, it's good to have you back.

It's so great to be here. Thank you very much. Dave, let's get to know you, buddy. What's going on with you? Well, I've been listening a lot to Vancouver's new FM Oldies station. Who's excited about that changeover? There's an FM Oldies station? That's exciting.

104.9. We're practically Cincinnati. It used to be a smooth jazz station, but they made a smooth transition. So they have... I was listening... This jazz is too jagged. Yeah. Jazz is all over the place.

Hard jazz. So I've been listening to this oldie station, and I was listening to the song Money Money. The original, not the Billy Idol. Or the Al Yankovic Alimony.

Oh God, he's clever. And my whole childhood, I had heard that song and it awoke these memories in me of my first high school dance where they played Moni Moni. In 1956? When did you grow up? No, no. In my high school dances, they would play the Billy Idol version because

they would have, everyone would yell the part that's not part of the song, which after they say Money, Money, everyone yells. Anyone know this? Hey, Mother Fucker, get laid, get effed. Hey, Mother Effer, get laid, get effed.

Are you guys unfamiliar? No, I never heard that part. You just blew my mind. Oh, I thought this was going to be a talking point. No, what? So what? Where in the song? Between the moany and the other moany?

Everybody shouts it out? Let me give it to you. Okay, bust it out. Here she comes. I want some money, money. Motherfucker, get laid, get fucked. After every line, you yell that. Which, my whole life, I...

Then you throw toast at the DJ. There's a whole four-year radius of people who every time they hear the Saturday Night Fever song, they go, get raw with the fever on the dance floor. But only if you were born in 1979 to 1982. fever song. They go, get raw with the fever on the dance floor. But only if you were born in like 1979 to 1982. But the... Do you want to engage with what I just said or just move along as though we're a fart? This moany moany thing fascinates me.

Well, you're not engaging with it. No, no. But there was no hip hop version of moany moany that would have brought that on. Where did that come from? I don't know where it came from, but it has nothing to do with the narrative. Yeah, it's like Snoop. It's not in the Billy Idol version? I'm certain it's not.

Although maybe people bought the Billy Idol albums and it was on as an extra track, but I've only ever heard it on the radio. Wait, did you, because we're all about the same age. We're all friends. Yeah, we're all about the same age. We're all friends. There was like a novelty version of Money Money where the guy goes sitting on the can

singing Money Money and then he goes must have been the beans and the pepperoni. Does anyone remember that? That's the only novelty Money Money I ever heard. Why is it that any time that a station decides

to do a funny version of a song, they're like, it's about a current event, but the song is from 25 years ago. And it's also about diarrhea. Oh, lordy.

So that was a big event in my life. Graham, what's been going on with you, dear? My favorite thing this week. It was the best kind of sight that I was able to see that just naturally occurred was on Saturday night, big fireworks night. All these people are out, ready. They're on the beach beach Ready to watch the fireworks Starts raining, lightning storm

Everybody freaks out They're like, oh fuck This is going to ruin my chance to see a light show in the sky I gotta get out of here It's going to fuck this up The way that people ran Off the beach Couldn't have been more

Like people were putting beach towels on their head No reason People were holding giant poles And running away for no reason Absolutely fucking hysterical That's like That's the only time you'll ever see something Different out of fireworks

Yeah Because every year it's the same Here's Spain you'll ever see something different at a fireworks. Because every year it's the same. It's like, here's Spain. And you're like, oh, look how Spanish it is. Spain didn't make it out of their bracket this year. And then this time it was like, I don't know, heaven got in on the act.

It's like, okay, I'll play and then nobody's in for it. It was like, ugh, I'm down. Somebody just tries to stab god so then they try to kill a couple in burnaby camping nobody else here is in on the stabbing at the fireworks jokes I figured as graham fans you know it's a it's all this time but saturday night was such a weird night uh like you You were still in Montreal? Yeah. Well, let me catch you up. It was super hot

and then the sky turned a weird purple and then we got lightning and thunder all night. And it was like a magical night where 20 years from now you could say to someone, hey, remember that night where the sky got all weird on a fireworks night?

I lost my virginity to Moany Moany. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But didn't it get orange, too? I saw a time lapse of it. We did it on the show. We had a time lapse. I'm colorblind. I'm very progressive. But do you think since for people who aren't in Vancouver listening

at home or on the treadmill We're very popular in workout circles. Every year Vancouver has For people who aren't in Vancouver listening at home or on the treadmill. We're very popular in workout circles. Every year Vancouver has fireworks. They have four nights of fireworks. They, we, have four nights of fireworks. And there's usually stabbings and... This year was the craziest version on the stabbings. Somebody walked out on their balcony of their apartment

and shot a pellet gun just randomly during the fireworks. They were like, oh, I've been waiting. I want to do this. This feels like a June thing, but I'm going to wait until there's... Yeah, because you can disguise the sound with the fireworks. I want to shoot somebody with this pellet gun. I didn't buy it at the flea market for nothing. Do you think that since we haven't had any stabbings yet...

Yet. Let's put a big yet on that. Yeah. Tomorrow that since we haven't had any stabbings yet... Yet. Let's put a big yet on that. Tomorrow night, we can do it. Since we are so far without stabbing, do you think that spells trouble come harvest time? Yes! Thanks, guys.

That was great. Great stuff. Great stuff, Dave. That was pretty great. Applause break. Pretty good. Thank you. Anything else you want to move on?

Well, on the last episode I talked to you, I got an EpiPen for the first time in my life. Have you used it yet? No. I can't wait. I cannot wait. Explain what an EpiPen is for the insensitive. If you are allergic to certain things and you go into anaphylactic chalk, you have a pen that it's not if you don't write a note.

Save me. Don't eat that again. You stab yourself with it and it saves your life. save me. Don't eat that again. You stab yourself with it and it saves your life. You guys remember the scene in Pulp Fiction? Yeah. Where she's allergic to heroin? You get a handsome, washed up

70s actor, a John Travolta or less. Depending on your budget. You draw it on your chest with a marker. And somebody stabs you violently. And Eric Stoltz is terrifying. In all the pictures it has a picture of somebody stabbing it

through their pants. Which I don't think I would do. I only have like four pairs. You wear dungarees. That's going to fuck it up. You know when somebody gets in a car accident and they're like, we're going to have to cut off your pants. The fuck you are.

We will slide those off slowly. Yeah, yeah. The jaws of life. I will bleach those pants. No problem. I would stab it through my shoe because I often draw on my Stan Smiths. I think I meant Chuck Taylors there.

Bigger laugh. Bigger laugh. I think I meant Chuck Taylor's there. Bigger laugh. But I got it on the strength of accidentally poisoning myself at this event called Taste of the City.

Which, looking back, actually just sounds like Poison Central. If they called it Poison Central, I wouldn't know. The city doesn't even sound like something you'd like to taste. Tastes like gum. We just get fired after this.

No, because I went. It was a great event. But then afterwards, they gave us all these tickets. They're like, yeah, go have some food from different vendors. But nobody, everybody's just serving food so fast. And I ate a deep fried banana, which that should have been alarm bells all over the place. I don't need that kind of fat on my gut.

Sure. A deep fried banana? Bananas are fine on their own. I know, but you love the savory and the sweet. Yeah, it's true. So then, yeah, it touched a peanut or something and I had a huge allergic reaction. So then I was like, okay, all those people all those years who have said EpiPen,

I can't believe it took this long for me. I was so stubborn on it. I'm not going to get an EpiPen. I'm a man. I'm an alternative allergic guy. It's part of the whole comedian unwillingness to face up to peanuts as an actual allergy.

I don't know. If you go to Yuck Yucks any week and somebody will be like, so there's kids these days. They can't even eat peanuts. And you're like, yeah, they can't eat peanuts. That's just a thing that is the fact. But they're like, man, we're getting too politically correct. Kids won't eat a peanut. The fucking peanut will kill the kid.

Just try the peanut. It's the only allergy where people will just right to your face go, oh, that sucks because peanuts are the fucking best. I mean, you should kill yourself before a peanut gets a chance.

Because peanuts are it. Everybody just becomes George Washington Carver. In my head, everybody who was criticizing me becomes an amalgam of George Washington Carver and George Wallace. Peanuts are great.

Liver sucks. Let's put on an APB for liver. That's the only specific black noise I do. Is George Wallace. Shall we move on? We shall. Let's move on to one of our all-time favoritest of segments in the history of segments.

A little thing we like to call Overheard. Bring it. Overheard. segments a little thing we like to call overheard bring it over again sings like an angel my goodness um so for the overheard segment uh if anybody if anybody's unfamiliar with what overheard is it's uh things that you've overheard in a lineup or on a bus or just walking down the street, we will do ours, and then we'll hand it over to the audience. And I have prizes that I will give away for people who are interested in sharing their overheards with us. And usually on the show, we like to start with the guest. So, Charlie, what do you got for us?

This is more technically of an overseen. Okay, great. But it's in the tattoo category, which I know is always a lot of fun. All the things she said, all the things she said, running through my head, running through my head. Yes! This is not enough.

No. So, the tattoo category, by the way. Best new artist. The The tattoo category, by the way. Best new artist. The name tattoos we can all generally agree are usually considered a bad idea.

Like if you get a tattoo of a name. Yeah, exactly. Aunt Vivian. Because then when it's the new Aunt Viv, you have to change it. Too original, Aunt Viv. A lot more Rib, you have to change it. Yeah, awkward. Too original, Ant Rib. A lot more ink I've got to go get. So this guy had, I think, probably the worst name tattoo that I ever saw.

And this was in Montreal, and I think it was on St. Catherine Street. I'm already laughing. It's in a really rough part of the city, and there's this dude in kind of like a sleeveless shirt. And the font, I don't know if it's font. Comic Sans. Yeah. It was a serif font.

No, it was kind of like, you know, like 50s ad font. You know like the way the word mintage is written at that store? Sure. Mintage. Kind of skinny and then like a base. Loop L and stuff like that. In that font, it just said Hitler. Holy shit.

It's from my buddy Stan Hitler yeah at first you want to be like say something to him but then you're like well I don't disagree that was a guy that was a real thing and then I was like well

if it's between that and a swastika because if you do a swastika you're like I believe in the things Hitler said but if it's between that and a swastika, because if you do a swastika, you're like, I believe in the things Hitler said. But if it's just the dude, you'd be like, I liked his paintings. Should have been an architect. So I was so blown away by that. It was just so Hitler.

And there's no way like with when Johnny Depp got Winona and changed to Wino. There's no... He just changed to shit! Exclamation points. There's no way out of a Hitler tattoo.

You probably could get shit! But what if... Was it like capital H? So capital S, capital H. Little I-T. This guy's got a weird opinion of shit. Dave, what do you got for us over here? Let me tell you. Suck it to me.

Well, in Canada, we live in a cultural mosaic. And nowhere... A quilt, if you will. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nowhere is this more evident than at the liquor store because the liquor store doesn't discriminate. It's the only place you can really buy alcohol in Vancouver or in British Columbia.

So all kinds of people from all parts of society converge in the liquor store. And I have two overheards that are juxtaposed. And they're like the opposite parts of society. There are two couples. One, a couple, they were buying a bunch of, like a dozen bottles of wine. And they were like a really yuppie couple.

And the wife in the couple picked up a 12 pack of beer and said, do you think this would be too déclassé? No, not at all. We're trying to go street. Meanwhile, another couple was just leaving the liquor store

and the woman in the couple was like 20 paces ahead and the guy was just kind of wandering, catching up. And she said, can you at least try to act sober? Cultural mosaic. It's where you live, Vancouver.

Hey, Graham. Yes, sir. Do you have an overheard? I do, and it's an overheard mixed with an overseen. I was very hungry. And so I was standing in line at a Subway restaurant. And this was on fireworks night. And so people were drunk, hungry for subs.

I think we can all agree. We all probably had a sub that night. We may or may not regret it. But I was standing in line behind a guy who was very drunk. And just before, like, he ordered what sub he wanted. And then he came to the toppings portion. And his phone rang. And so he picked it up.

He answered it and said hello. And then held it away from his head while he did the sandwich. But he didn't tell the person, hold on a second, I've got to do my sandwich up and I'll get back to you. So then for whatever it was, however long it takes to get a sandwich, I want olives, I want lettuce, cheese, some of that sauce, some of that sauce. And then he's still got the phone in his hand like he's going to go back to it any second. And then at the last second when he has to go pay, folds up the phone and puts it in his pocket.

All his friend got to hear was exactly what kind of sub he was going to get. Full stop. So yeah, that was my work I used the labels on the subway thing As kind of a cheat sheet When I was in Montreal Because I like to order in French

But then I was like What's ranch sauce You can't get pomplemousse on every sub And So yeah but I was like well there's peppers but there's like three different kinds of peppers so I was like I was reading off the thing but trying to look

you're like no show that's all I know in French I would say that the most famous sandwiches in all of Montreal are from Subway. You gotta try this. That's where Mordecai Richler wrote most of his stuff. Graham, you have prizes, don't you? I do. I sure do.

I do. For anybody, if you want to come forward towards the stage and share an overheard, if you have an overheard from your life, come on forward. And if you give one, I'll give you one of these amazing prizes. Do you want to show the prizes first? Will that entice you? Is there a method to your madness?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, do it. Okay, all right. Some of the prizes. Some of the prizes in consideration. Some of the prizes. Some of the prizes in consideration. I'm going to give away Anne Heche's

autobiography. It's called Call Me Crazy. Would you dare? Would you? A lot of details you probably didn't know. Anne Heche almost seems, everything about her almost seems completely

like, did that really happen? Like her whole persona. But in the era of a Lindsay Lohan or a whatever, she seems like somebody you could have a dinner with. She was a straight lady who was married to Ellen and did a shot for shot remake of Psycho

with Vince Vaughn. She's also the co-star in the new HBO series Hung, starring Louis Riel. Thanks, everybody. Canada history. I'm also going to give away this completely unwrapped

DVD. Jeff Foxworthy, You Might Be a Redneck If... and Check Your Neck. I don't think that had to be two separate things. DVD. Jeff Foxworthy, you might be a redneck if... and check your neck. I don't think that had to be two separate things. That was the Beastie Boys. Truly, you might be... Check your neck, the Beastie Boys. They're a celebrated album.

Yeah, it was the 10th anniversary. I've got some great... Jeff Foxworthy and the Beastie Boys have actually both shifted their formula an equal number of times in their careers. How so? I don't get it. I don't know. Make a rhyme about a black show from the 70s.

Repeat. Sorry. We can edit it out. Ad-Rock was the only person here tonight. Do we have somebody who wants to come up to the plate? All right, we have one. One for the overheard.

I will... Graham, you'll move. My microphone is cut. Should I sit down? I think they need standing up, actually. Face the audience, please. So I was at the beach today. The beach.

Enjoying summer. Yep. And this guy was up to his waist, and he was like, oh, danger zone, danger zone. And then he was like, at least I'm not a girl. They have two danger zones. Yeah, you do, yeah. Wait, don't walk away. There is a prize to be awarded to you.

Don't walk away, Eileen. There's a prize to be awarded to you. Don't walk away, Eileen. I am going to give you a comic book featuring Spider-Man in Calgary, Alberta. Teaching kids about safety.

Is this worth something? No. No, well, memories and your time. First overheard of the night, everybody. Come on. We have another one. Come on up. Quite the lineup.

There are two overheard lines. One is to get tickets to give overheards and the other is to... This kind of has to do with fireworks and Money Money. So we're at the Canadians Home Opener, which I don't know if you've been but you get a fireworks show at the end of it.

They play a series of songs, and one of them was Money Money. Of course, this is like tons of kids. As soon as Money Money comes on, we're just like, oh, shit. Like, you know there's a bunch of drunk dudes that are just ready to do the hey, mother, blah, blah, blah. So it starts, and then someone starts the hey, motherfucker,

get laid, get fucked and he swaps it to hey mother lover, get milk, get fudge and for the rest of the night at least our group started the whole PG version of it all. That's great. Yeah, get milk, get fudge.

Everybody can enjoy that. Tell her what she's won, Graham. For that, you're going to win this tape that I have that's called The World's Greatest Salesman. And it's a salesman from the States just telling you all his sales secrets. Best of luck to you with it.

Second over her to the night. Good Lord, please. Welcome. Hi, my name's Jen and I'm the manager of Stella's. Oh, hey, right on. Here's a gift card so you can buy three beers. Oh, hey, there you go. My story plays into Stella's and your overheard as well

because I manage a lot of young women there. And I was walking behind the bar once, and I heard one of the young women, she was about 22, one of the servers,, she was about 22, one of the servers and all I heard was that Hitler was so lame. Which Hitler? Which one? The tattoo Hitler? Vintage Hitler? I guess so.

Thank you. Wonderful. Hitler's so lame that is going to earn you a DVD version of I Am Legend on Blu-ray. Not too shabby. Not too shabby.

You have to see that movie on Blu-ray. Can I just, in honor of the I Am Legend, do a Will Smith... This is my Will Smith endorsing Stellis. Man, you gots to go to Stellis! Aunt Viv. APB. APB.

Oh, yeah, Aunt Viv. Aunt Viv is right back with Uncle Phil. That's where the original Aunt Viv is working. All right, where was the last person? She came from that line, so this line. This line. Come on up, sir. Hi there.

My name's Cam. My overheard's actually a few years old. It's from back when I was in high school. It was in science class, and the teacher was doing an experiment to show chlorophyll in plants. You have to boil the plant, leaves in alcohol,

and the chlorophyll comes out and makes the alcohol all green. But they had to time it. And so the teacher asked for volunteers, and one of my classmates was eager. She's like, me, me, me, me, me. So she came up, and he was like, oh, oh, do you have a second hand on your watch? And she's like, me, me, me, me, me. So she came up, and he was like, oh, oh, do you have a

second hand on your watch? And she's like, oh, yeah, yeah, and it even has a third hand. Nice. Wonderful, wonderful. Third hand. I'm going to let you walk away with this. Oh, no, you know what? I'm going to give you the Anne Heche from The Crazy. There you go. Not too shabby thank you very much all right who is next this

gentleman here how many prizes do you have Graham enough okay oh yeah so these two girls were talking to each other on the bus that I was on and a one girl they were using the usual teen lingo, like, for seers, and are you really for serious about this? For realsies. Like, for reals, like, are you really for serious about this?

And like, totes, like, are you really for serious about this? But the one girl said to the other, like, so what did you have for breakfast? Another girl was like A bag Another girl said What's that?

And she's like A bagel? For true? She had a bag Don't walk away Don't walk away You'll get a prize You'll get a prize

Get a prize Come back Get a prize I want you to enjoy This Putamayo World Music sampler There you go Enjoy it

I used to work for a radio station I played these all the time Well there you go It'll be like a little taste of home Back at your radio station Thank you very much This gentleman, come on up Gentleman McGee

Hey guys Howdy I don't have an overheard I have a failed attempt at me explaining an overheard Come on up, Gentleman McGee. Hey, guys. Howdy. I like this. I don't have an overheard. I have a failed attempt at me explaining an overheard to my friends. Okay. So I started off the overheard to my friends by saying, So I saw these lesbians on the bus.

And he stopped me right there. They were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. How do you know they were lesbians? I started saying, well, they had dreadlocks? They were like, that doesn't prove anything. They were wearing butch clothing. No, that's not proof either. They were holding each other's hands.

I do that with my girlfriend all the time. They were sharing earbuds from the same iPod? I don't know. So by the end of it, my overheard was completely overshadowed by the fact I thought they were lesbians. That you couldn't prove it. Yes.

So it completely failed. I want lesbian proof. I respect that you admit to the failure. I'm going to give you this birthday card. It's unsigned. You can give this away. This is what the birthday card says. We all basically wish you the same thing on your birthday.

We just have different ways of expressing it. And on the inside, it's a bunch of different people's faces with speech bubbles. It says, get fucked. Go fuck yourself. Screw you. Fuck you. Up yours. Kiss my ass. You're a fuck-up

and high fuck-face. There you go. That's a great... Imagine the delight on the face of the person who receives that. Please welcome our next overheard. Yes. Hello. I'm Diana. This one just happened.

I know. I keep knocking the beer can. This one just happened last week. It's at the liquor store. Thank you. Everybody's at the liquor store. I've, I keep knocking the beer can. This one just happened last week. It was at the liquor store. Thank you, because you're right. You're welcome. Everybody's at the liquor store. I've got my six-pack of beers. I'm frumpy jeans and flip-flops. I don't care.

And there's this totally business-like blonde standing right beside me. She's waiting patiently, tapping her card on the counter. And then, so I'm grabbing my beer and I'm leaving. And she's like, first of all, do you take Visa? And the woman's like, well, yeah, we take Visa. And she's like, I'd like $700 worth of gift cards please.

What kind of like alcoholics do you have for Christmas? Like, $700 worth of gift cards at the liquor store? I'm like, alright, anyways. I want to be her friend for Christmas. And she only has two friends. Let me give you both Jeff Foxworthy on

regular DVD and Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix on Blu-ray DVD Pretty good We have our last overheard Please welcome Oh, we've got a great prize You're getting the best of the prizes

I'm excited Hi, I'm Allie I was on the bus a couple of weeks ago on my way to work and I'm listening to my headphones, but then I see the driver who's probably in his late 20s, and this elderly woman's about to get off the bus, and he's holding her, like, really close in, like, way too close for comfort. So I thought, okay, we'll take the earbuds out.

And she starts to walk away, and I hear the bus driver say, buds out. And she starts to walk away and I hear the bus driver say, no, I'm not getting into bed. And then thinks for a bit and says, maybe if you make coffee in the morning. Bus drivers need love too.

That's true. So for that, you're going to win what I think is, I consider, the best prize. This is a calendar. It's called Servers for a Cure. It's from 2009. It was released in July. Yeah. Hottest month.

It's a bunch of waitresses who are, they want a cure to breast cancer. Admirable cause. Everybody believes in it. The thing is, they posed topless, holding beer jugs over their regular jugs. Boobies.

But then, some of the months have pictures with a quote next to it for inspiration, right? October features three young ladies sitting at a table, one of them sipping out of a giant jug of sangria, another one's got a pint hiding her left boob, and the other one is hiding up a menu. Coily over both. And the quote is, I don't think all of the misery, but of the beauty that still remains. Anne Frank. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oops-a-daisy. In fairness. Servers for care. Thank you very much for all the overheards. Round of applause, everybody. In fairness, both the fight against breast cancer and Anne Frank's book

were about taking care of what's upstairs. Am I right? Absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah, got to get some groans off of that, but it was worth it. Yeah, it was worth it. That's a hill you wanted to climb It was a risk that I accepted

Making a Anne Frank breast cancer joke In this day and age One of the riskier territories A comedian's ever gonna walk in Alright Besides an impression of Christopher Walken Alright One more segment

That is a dead-on impression. He said that. We have a wonderful segment. Do we want to play the theme? Yeah, the theme song was sung by a gentleman who's in the crowd tonight, Mr. Connor Holler. Mr. Connor Holler! This is our...

Oh, yeah, applause. Yeah! Heel freight. This is our stunt casting segment. Are you an actor? Are you looking for work? Stunt casting. Stunt casting.

Stunt. Stunt casting. Powder. Danny DeVito. Taxi Cab. The Movie. Danny Glover. Martin Short.

Anyone in the movie. Pure luck. Stunt casting. Woo. So during stunt casting, what Dave and I have been doing for months and months, we'll take a famous television show or movie, recast it, because that's what Hollywood does. They just recast an old idea.

No more new ideas. Yeah, Hollywood's out. So they're just going to recast everything, put it out to the general public because they know they're going to buy it. And we've been doing this for many months. And we figured we would tackle one of the bigger hits of all time. Then we decided that we would stunt cast Star Wars, the original. Nice.

Yeah. Pretty bold. So what we did was because... Do you need to put a... All right. What we did was we stunt casted this, Dave and I, in advance. And we came up with this diagram. So we have our picks in this diagram.

These are who we picked to be the different stars in the movie. But we are open to people's opinions of who they think. And Charlie, we want to discuss this with you. Hop in at any point. So we'll start, I think, I don't know, do we work bottom up or down up? Yeah.

Do we work up or down up? Do we go up, up, down, down, A, B, A, B, start. Select start. Sure, whatever you want to do. I would have made some more Contra references Fully unknown How huge they were Sometimes I feel like you guys are on spread fire

So where do you start? I guess you start with the most minor character Sure We didn't do all the characters From the whole trilogy, but we did some of our faves. So we can do a Lando or a Jabba. I think a Landau Calrissian

is probably a good place to start. O.J. Simpson. Charlie's votes for O.J. Simpson. Anybody else? He's a smooth character. Yeah, he was so smooth. My original suggestion, I was ready to break the color barrier and

suggest Matthew McConaughey, which was bold. That's pretty good. Did you guys think that playing stuntcasting would be fun? But you actually are intimidating, both of you. Oh, really? Yeah, the only other time we played stuntcasting, I was like, yeah, this will be fun,

and you're like, right out of the gate, the exact thing. You, Charlie. So, anybody have any suggestions for Lando Culerson from Star Wars? French Stewart. French Stewart? Okay. Never seen Star Wars, is what I'm going to assume. Throwing out a

random name of somebody. Well, he was in a space style show That's true He's got familiar Terrence Howard Somebody said Will Smith Someone said Will Smith Terrence Howard wasn't bad

That's not bad at all Did you stick with an Afro We did literally An Afro Do you want to Should we reveal We chose We did literally an afro. Should we reveal? We chose it was actually Tim Meadows as the ladies man

playing Landau Kelrissian. Will Smith was in contention. A bone of contention. Damn. I don't know. Okay, so we got our Landau. Nice.

Where do we move next? I'm pretty sure it's Lando. Lando? He's not named after Martin Landau. Okay. Martin Landau Calrissian. Well, that sounds like, probably sounds like this. I need to borrow your shit.

Where do we go next? Let's go with Jabba. Jabba the Hutt. Famous Hutt. Russell Crowe. Who did you say? You said Russell Crowe. I am inspired by Jeff Yu's excellent joke earlier about the fatness of Russell Crowe.

I think Russell Crowe would be a good Jabba. Somebody said something over there? John Goodman? Not yet. Louis Anderson. Louis. Everybody's going for it generally. Graham went really mean with this one. I went really mean with it. I actually think I know what Graham's is.

Do you? You're not going to guess it. My guess is that Graham mainly picked Kelly Clarkson. No. Oh, really? No? But it's about as big.

I'm a little bit attracted to Kelly Clarkson. Is that a problem? Yeah, since she's been gone. Well, my life would suck if I didn't. Go on. Lady who's had a bit of plastic surgery. A bit. Looks a little bit like Jabba the Hutt now.

Would probably be comfortable wearing a fishtail. We're talking about a Daryl Hanna. Come on. No, don't. Boo. Too soon. The Hanna family's here tonight.

For a second I thought you were saying Daryl Hammond. He would just keep doing impressions of other castmates. Alright, so we've got our Java, we've got our Atlanta, because this is about the best movie I've ever seen so far. Who else?

Where do we go now? We've got Yoda, we've got R2, we've got C3. seen so far. Who else? Where do we go now? We got Yoda, we got R2, we got C3. P.O. C3? C3PO? C3PO. What do you think? Zac Efron. Zac Efron? Gone young, trying to court the tween vote. Michael Jackson?

Someone who knows etiquette. I am guessing... Oh no, I've got a good R2. Who? Whoopi Goldberg? Again, just shouting out of a thing. That's not... David Hyde Pierce? Does anybody think

recently out of the closet David Hyde Pierce? What do you think, Charlie? Charlie had a guess. Applause for the closet. What do you think? Charlie? Charlie had a guess. Applause for the closet. What do you think? David Hyde Pierce? Sounds pretty good. Maybe French Stewart?

A John Lithgow? Anybody? What do we got? What do we got, Dave? Who did we say? A David Hyde Pierce! That's who we said? Well done, indeed. Wow. Not too shabby.

We even put the fake eyes in. That is pretty good. Alright, so who? His pal R2. This one, I think, Wally. The rapper? Wally.

Wally, everybody. Wally, anybody else everybody Wale anybody else? Danny DeVito Gary Coleman Gary Coleman yeah These are all great He's very violent Here's what we did

We took a little person Who was really good at robot moves Recessive Gene Simmons We took Internet Sensation Little Superstar. Yeah, Little Superstar. Indian breakdancer, Little Superstar. He's our TV2. You'll have to look it up when you

get home. You will love it when you see it. You'll be like, yep, that's the guy. Yoder? Yoder? Okay. That's how British people say it. So we need Yoda. He's shrunken. He's old. He's shrunken. He's old. Joan Rivers.

Not bad. What did you say? Paul Simon. Oh, that's a really good one. Keyboard Cat. Keyboard Cat. Now she's just going with internet sensations. We're not doing memes. Judy Dench. Judy Dench? Who did we say? We said somebody who's. Judy Dench. Judy Dench?

Judy Dench. Who did we say? We said somebody who's grumpy. He's grumpy but wise. He's grumpy but wise. Ed Asner. Ed Asner. He's your Yoda right there.

We're going through a big up phase. That movie's so good. All right, what's next? Where do we go? Obi-Wan. He's wise. He's been around. He's seen a lot of things. He's got a beard. He's got an awesome beard.

Patrick Stewart. Not bad. He's probably not in it for the whole trilogy. John Connery. Not bad. Closer in the ballpark. Joaquin Phoenix. Joaquin Phoenix? What? He has a beard now.

Did you hear about that stuff? That's crazy. Have you seen the internet lately? It's a buzz. Who did we say? Do you want to say? No, you do it. We have Kenny Rogers.

That's right. Kenny Rogers. It fits right. Kenny Rogers. It fits so perfectly in this picture. It's as if he was originally cast as the role. That's what he told Luke. You've got to know when to fold him. These aren't the cords you're holding. All right, where are we now?

Chewy? Chewy. Oh, this one, I think the dad from Clueless. Dan Hedaya? Yeah, Dan Hedaya from Blood Simple. You see right through me, Richard Grieco. Rob Williams, that was a suggestion. We could either go hairy or big.

Michael Clarke Duncan. Ooh, not bad. Not bad. Kid Rock. Kid Rock? Kid Rock. Kid Rock. But with the ball? Who did we say?

Do you want to say? You give it up. All right. We said a guy with a big loud mouth and a giant with a big heart. Mr. Shaquille O'Neal. Shaquille. There he is. Look at him.

Co-pilot on the Millennium Falcon. Yeah, we're really getting into the big names. That could be my favorite photo. With him with the giant ZZ Top beard and the bald head. He's not a bad guy. No, not at all. Have you read his tweets?

They're everywhere. Han, Luke, Darth... Oh, wait. Han, Leia, Darth, Luke. It's all over the map. Yeah Luke It's all over the map Yeah, yeah, yeah Where are we going to go? What do you think? Let's go with what no one wanted

Han Han Okay, he's got to be cheeky Yeah, yeah He's got to be handsome Roguish A little bit older than Luke and Leia He's been around the block a few times

Yeah, yeah, yeah Likes the young Zac Efron. This guy's obsessed. Jimmy Fallon. No, what about... Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford. He would be great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the role

he was born to play. Hugh Grant. Hugh Grant. Hugh Grant. The Millennium Falcon will start anytime. I guess this is it. This is it. Woody Allen.

Woody Allen? Yeah. Good with the ladies. Who did we say? We took a local boy. Yeah. Ryan Reynolds? Make good.

Ryan Reynolds. Good call before we even revealed it. Yeah. Your new Han Solo, Ryan Reynolds. All right. Where do we go next? Leia? Let's go to Leia. Megan Fox.

Young. Not a big name. Fergie. Not particularly hot. Yeah, she's got to be kind of... Decent. I'd give it to her. Hilary Duff. Hilary Duff. He'll do. Kelly Clarkson. Miley Cyrus.

Good picks. We picked someone with some acting chops. Maybe a little lady known as Ellen Page. Ellen Page. Juno. That's a pretty good fit. TB Juno. Alright, so we got two more.

We got Luke. We got Darth. Luke. We got Darth. Luke. The kid from Suite Life and Zack and Cody. One of the two kids. Yeah, yeah. He's got to be like late teens, kind of a wiener. Oh, he would have been good Luke.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would have been a Juno reunion would have been a Juno reunion. They have a Juno reunion every year. Seth Rogen. Ashton Kutcher. You guys are just saying names. We catered to the sci-fi geeks in this category.

I can't remember his name. Yeah, I remember his name. He was the gentleman who at a young age played a tiny Anakin Skywalker. Jake Lloyd, everybody. A grown up Jake Lloyd. The fanboys will go nuts for this choice.

I'm not making it for you. You know what? You don't know. This ain't Comic Con. We're getting booed all the way to the bank. Jake Lloyd is going to carry this film. Alright. Finally.

The link's been dated. Let me just say, out of the gates, you will not guess this. With all your guessing might, crowd, you will. Michael Shatner. We took someone who had... Michael Jackson's

dead and that was way too soon. Get the fuck out of my show. Dave said, should we not cast this for a new generation with somebody who has a distinctive voice? We don't need the same Darth Vader voice. Everybody knows it. Let's cast it with a new...

Urkel! Urkel. For God's free, Urkel. These are great. No, those are ridiculous. We went with someone legitimate. Harvey Fierstein. Harvey Fierstein as your new Darth Vader.

He's not even going to wear the mask. He's not going to wear the mask. He refuses. It's part of his contract. So there you go. Your new Star Wars. Green light. Well, audience,

I think we've run the course here on the live podcast. Charlie, anything to plug? Anything coming up? No. It's the show. And Dave, we're good, I think. We're super good.

So anybody listening at home, listening to the podcast, do tell your friends about it and spread the word. That's how the podcast is able to grow. If you want to contact us, it's stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com And thank you everybody for coming out to the live podcast. You were fantastic. And thank you everybody for coming out to the live podcast. You were fantastic.

And yeah, for myself and Dave and Charlie, everybody come back again for another thrilling episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.