Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 740 - Caitlin Howden

Episode Date: May 24, 2022

Improviser Caitlin Howden returns to talk headless birds, the end of hockey, and Workin’ Moms.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everyone and welcome to episode number 740 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who I'm not convinced is done talking about a corn chocolate bar, Mr. Dave Shumka. Uh, well. No, well in the last episode I was worried I would have some stomach trouble on the third of the four chocolate bars. It didn't happen. Oh, good.

Then I opened the fourth chocolate bar and that was just great. And I ate that way too fast. That was done in a day. Yeah. And then I, you know what, as part of when I ordered all those, I also just got a hazelnut chocolate bar too and ate that. Nice. Yeah.

You've gone. I think we're done. We're done. Our long national nightmare of corn chocolate bars is done. Although someone did send me a message asking if I wanted them to send me some non-expired ones that they have. Might be expired by the time you get here, but why not, right? Our guest today, returning guest to the podcast,

one of the all-time greats. She's a comedian about town and across the country and also an actor. It's Caitlin Howden, everyone. Hello, friends. Hello, Caitlin. Nice to see you two. Yeah, you too.

You also. I don't think we are done with the corn chocolate. I'm going to say it right now. I don't think we are done with the corn chocolate. I'm going to say it right now. I don't think we are done. I think we're just getting started. You know what I had the other day was corn on the cob. Is it corn on the cob season? Not quite.

We're on the French. they were selling it. How was it? Uh, you know what? It was, I guess it's not corn on the cob season. It was black as coal you're not supposed to take it out of the ground this early it's too early to take it out of the

ground yeah you're not supposed to take it out of the ground at all you i think you let it grow up you gotta wait you gotta wait till it goes outward well if you put the seeds in upside down then that's how you can end up with a lot of trouble. Uh, Caitlin, do you want to add to the corn conversation? Corn versation? Oh, uh,

you know what? I'm a big fan of corn. I love corn. I don't know if corn loves me. Um, do you like the band? Uh, corn with a K. Yeah.

You know what? No, I was more into softer music in my teens. And I think that's when it would have, if anything entered my life as a teenager. I don't see Korn coming into my life now, the band. No. There's not a lot of later in life

Korn. There's not a midlife Korn. No, and they're not doing some sort of cool residency at Madison Square Garden, you know what I mean? They're not like... Like Billy Joel. Like Billy Joel, yeah. Billy Joel. Once a month you Yeah. Oh, Billy Joel.

Once a month you could see him at Madison Square Garden. So you can like, yeah, there are those kinds of artists where you're like, oh, Billy Joel's been around my whole life. I never paid much attention to him. But now that I'm, you know, in my 40s. Hey, this is. You know what? I get it. These are good.

You don't see that happening with Korn? I was always on Billy Joel joel's train like even as a teenager i didn't tell anybody but secretly because it was very very uncool to be a billy joel fan in the middle of the night i go walking in my dreams uh i've told this story uh before on the show but when i was in grade eight the first year of high school, the first party I went to, my friend from elementary school threw a birthday party and I was like, oh yeah, you know what, I'll get him something.

I'll get him some, I'll get him a CD and I showed up and he unwrapped River of Dreams with that cover painted by Christy Brinkley. Yep. And they all laughed at me. and then you know what they did they crushed up pez and snorted it so uh that's pretty good what are you gonna do did you

quietly take the cd back when you left you said i shouldn't have the loot bag but i'll be taking my dicks he shunned up the loot bar everybody laughed when kids when uh teenagers started snorting things i don't think mothers were there with loot bags no remember the bracelets that had little candies on them and that would be your bracelet but then you could also crush those and snort those too it wasn't just pez you could crush almost anything and snort it yeah about pixie sticks they're already pre-crushed and they you what do you use instead of a credit card when you're a kid to like chop up those library card library card okay good good bus pass homemade bookmark yeah do we want to get to

know us yes get to know us so speaking of of childhood um before uh caitlin graciously agreed to reschedule this because i thought i could um i thought we were we could record tomorrow and then i realized my kids got off school an hour early yesterday sorry i thought we could record yesterday then i realized my kids got off an hour early yesterday because yesterday was sports day ah and sports can never go past 2 p.m yeah that's true yeah that's why they have noon games uh always the hockey games that start at 11 a.m but it was very nostalgic uh pulling up to sports day because uh the the first thing i saw was as i rounded the corner was kids just screaming as like all the teachers had a tug of war against the grade sevens oh justice justice for all right to see the teachers struggle for the kids yep then at that last minute the gym teacher joins and then it's all over its curtains for the kids

kids are just getting dragged through the mud yeah the teachers don't know when to stop was there one girl there who was a bit too tall for her age just in the corner not having a good time? Is this a Caitlynism? Yeah, is this a you? I just have empathy for that person. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about the kid

that only cared about hot dogs and was trying to steal extra hot dogs because you were only allowed one hot dog. But you got your friend who's allergic to hot dogs to go pick up a hot dog for you. Was there a kid like that? Was this you? Oh, I don't know. Maybe. Could be anybody, really.

Did you have a favorite event? I mean, Tug of War was pretty huge. I did not like Egg on Spoon. I was was just gonna say i loved egg on spoon because it was a sport of the mind you had to really get very zen about it right yes wasn't about how fast yeah yeah it was it was the sport where if you were a bit of a like a thinker this could work out for you i like a sponge fill a bucket with sponge oh right sponge get a wet

sponge and then yeah you get a spot you get water from one side sponge it over to the other side squeeze with today's school budgets you'd have to bring your own sponge i imagine you wouldn't be they wouldn't be able to give you sponges yeah but you get to pick what size sponge and kids bring guns to school but you know what no you get to pick what size sponge and kids bring guns to school but you know what no one thinks to bring a sponge that's right yeah exactly the only thing that stops a bad guy with a sponge good guy with a sponge everyone knows also a sponge is too porous during covid times a sponge would literally soak up every germ yes and then you'd be like just distributing it everywhere it'd be it would be a mess. It'd be a goddamn mess is what it would be.

Éponge. That's French for sponge. Une éponge. Caitlin, it's been over a year, I think, since we last had you as a guest. You know, it's been some pretty wild times. You just came back from a trip. And, you know, tell us. Tell us whatever you want to tell us.

Tell us what's on your mind. I want to say nothing. All right. We're shutting it down. It's funny. I was trying to figure out when the last time I did this was with you guys. And I don't know if you've had this feedback, but your app on iTunes, it's like every single episode is there. And so it's too much guys I'm giving

you some feedback I need some sort of archival because I can't figure out when I'm on your show so as a bit of a you know request I'd like you to clean up your iTunes account. But here's what you could do you go on Google and how to install podcast yourself boom it'll tell you when the last

episode. I am not giving Google that. Not a chance. I'm not giving that up. No way. No way. No one uses the iTunes app anymore. What do you mean? That's kind of for, you know.

For what? Socialists? For casuals. For babies. It's just for casual babies? Yeah. God damn it. But I did just look it up, and the last episode you were on, you're not going to believe this. Check today's calendar.

May 18th? Last time you were on, May 18th. You're lying. Two years ago. Really? Yeah. Wow. Really?

That was the release date. I don't know what day you recorded. But what a... Wow. What precision. Are we a Swiss podcast? Are we? We think of you as like a springtime...

I'm a spring chicken. I'm a real spring chicken. In even numbered years. Yeah. Wow. That's so funny that it's been two years. So I've seen you guys obviously since then. Have you? I've seen you. obviously since then um i've seen you i don't

think i have seen you no i think i saw you uh at a some sort of barbecue or something like that yeah but that was ages ago that could that could have been two years ago for all i remember but that was a while ago and then i saw saw Dave recently because we were near your house. Uh-huh. My guy and I were by your house. And we said, hey, we should text Dave Shumka and see if he wants to come over and have a beer with us. And so he texted you. Do you want to come over right now and have a beer with us?

We're around the corner from your house. And you said, yes. I know. And then a minute later, you were there it was there and it was because you uh it was the movie theater down the street had just opened up and they did not know how to deal with people who wanted to come to movies again we we tried to go see a movie early early in the in the in the in the in the reopening times and it was just absolute chaos and we made the decision that um they don't need us there right now they just don't need us yeah it was something like you were going to see a movie and it was like a 5 30 movie and they oh but they had to check everyone's vaccines

and by the time you got in your seat it was like you would have been like 10 to 6 and they were like oh well you were like clearly they'll delay the movie and they were like, oh, well you were like, clearly they'll delay the movie. And they were like, no, no, no, no. You're a half hour late for the movie.

I said, but I was here and the lineup went around the block and I just knew they were also stressed out. And by the time we did get in and got our vaccine passports checked out, we'd missed the first half of a boring Wes Anderson movie. So, um, Sonic two was,

it was called Sonic two. Yeah. Sonic two, the reckoning. And so we made a decision we said you know what no not today not for us I like the beginnings of the movies yeah I'm really unique like that I like seeing the previews I know it's not a popular opinion but I like the I like the previews I actually like it I like the truck commercials before the previews I like to see at least one car commercial at least one trucks. I like to see at least one car commercial, at least one truck commercial.

Yeah. I want to see a cell phone commercial. Yes. Cell phone commercial. Credit card commercial. Yeah. I want to see a public awareness commercial. Like,

Hey, remember you're in a public space. Yes. Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Um, no. So we just, we bailed on the movie. They were very nice. They gave us a credit for a future movie, which we have since used. Um,

Sonic 2. Was it Sonic 2? Yeah. The Reckoning? Yeah. Okay. It's the only movie I know that's come out in the last couple of years. Sonic 2?

Yeah. Have you seen it? No, Dave saw it. I saw it at that theater, yeah. Oh. Only because it was at that theater. And I was like, oh, yeah. Why not?

Sure, why not? It's that easy. But I also love the idea of hanging out with someone and it not being planned. Just sending someone a text me like, want to hang out right now? And if the answer is no, you won't hear from me for months. But here's our window. Do you want to have one beer? That's it.

And then I think I maybe saw you another time there you were with your dog on the patio. Okay, but you didn't say anything that time no i think i did i think maybe we were walking okay yeah and then you honked at me you honked at me dave when i was walking down the street listening to this podcasting yourself honking at women dave when did this start yeah i mean look've been, ever since the horn was invented, that's what it's for, right? And Dave's horn does say, a-ooga, a-ooga. Like, some people have that bumper sticker that says, honk if you're horny. Mine says, if I honk, it's because I'm horny.

Yeah, yeah. It's actually written on the front of my car backwards, like an ambulance. What is your dog's name? Her name is Murphy. She's right behind me. Oh, yeah, Murph. She's sleeping on the couch. Now, true or false, she was named that because she was conceived on a Murphy bit. No, it's because of Murphy Brown because she's brown, right?

Murphy Brown because she's brown. And actually, her last name is Murphy Brown Dog. Because I like to think that all dogs' last name are dog. You know how like carpenters were all like, oh, my last name is Carpenter because my father's the carpenter. Right. Carpenterson.

Christensen. You know, Peterson. Peter's son. I am a Peter. Clark comes from clerk. so there was some kind of related to some kind of clerk or cleric dave shumka is that whirlwind means whirlwind whirlwind yeah uh but uh you know so my guess my uh you know ancestors were a destructive force in the ukraine Hurricanes and whatnot. Unpredictable, wild people.

Does Howden, what does Howden come from? Absolutely nothing. No one knows. There is no other Howden. Can't find another family member. Not a lot out there. What would you speculate, Howden? No, I think it means, you know, sitter of the den.

Like someone who was in charge of sitting in the den, keeping watch on the foyer, if you will. Tidier of shoes in the front hall. That's my guess. The person who takes the shoes. Accumulator of magazines that go unread. Would you be a little Howden and say supervisor foyer? These shoes are askew.

Get the Howden. Yeah, I'd buy that yeah yeah um no it's it's but it is very nice to see you guys and thank you for having me back on the podcast and i will reschedule anytime for sports day i don't have a lot going on they actually called it activity day this year because it was there were some brother yeah everybody got a trophy well everyone got a ribbon i mean oh sibling but also you know they did the big parachute thing oh yeah yeah that's not so much of sport did any children get lost underneath the parachute and still haven't been found uh yeah yeah yeah yeah remember you would trap one kid under there? Yes. And then everybody would get in there, do a pinch. Everybody get a pinch. Trap the air.

How many times in your childhood did you do the parachute? It feels like our school had it all the time, but they only brought it out. Like we knew there was the parachute underneath the stage in the gymnasium, right? All you had to do was pull out those chairs and back there was the parachute. And for some reason it was denied you know 80 89 percent of the time i think i maybe did it twice yeah if that if that in my education three times max i've seen it so many times in my children like my kids are bored with it well i'm happy to hear that they get it because it feels like we had it but didn't use it when i was a kid

yeah we used the parachute that was our final exam every year if you could successfully do a parachute you passed and if you were the kid that landed in the middle everybody covered it you lost so you know what maybe it's dangerous because if that's the model of what a parachute is to children they're going to jump out of an airplane with a big old hole in their parachute they're going to plummet right those yeah a real parachute does not have a hole at the top does are you sure about that i think it shouldn't it shouldn't at all otherwise you're just you're if if let's say an airplane parachute we're talking right yeah we're talking aviation parachutes if there's a hole at the top that seems like a bad idea but like doesn't it need it needs airflow or something it needs

some sort of what's underneath what's all around that's air yeah that's right no you're you're you're interesting i'm coming around to your side of yeah i don't think there's a hole in a real parachute according to scientific american here we go some parachutes have a hole in the center to release air in a controlled way so that the edges don't flap up. So there you go. Air. That was the correct answer. Parachutes hate air.

Okay. This is the parachute that parachuters hate. Yeah. Maybe you can like graduate to like a really small parachute with like no air pocket in it you know i mean maybe that's the yeah i guess if you're like yeah the david blaine of parachute oh yes by the david blaine i just mean like the elite yeah it's just a little yarmulke who was the last time that we saw david blaine or is he dead? Did he accidentally do a stunt where he's like, bury me alive, and then they forgot to take him out?

You know what? I haven't seen him recently, which makes me think he's up to something. Yeah, he's probably hatching some sort of scheme. What were the famous ones he did? He tried to hold his breath for 10 minutes underwater and made it

like, 30 seconds seconds oh my god it's unbelievable have you tried that they put quarters at the bottom of the tank to give him something to do for that 10 minutes um uh he was in an ice cube he was in an ice cube he was also in that thing up high for a long time like for days in vegas yeah isn't he in a like in a box in a box yeah uh buried alive the man in the box you think you'll get into allison chains in your middle age did you i don't know dave let me know did you am i am i i think i'm the youngest in this trio here yeah yeah yeah but when will i think i'm way younger than all of you guys yeah i'm 57 i'm i'm heinz age 57 when does middle age end what does it go from it goes okay it goes infant baby toddler child tween you know tween team yeah yeah young adult young yeah young adult middle uh adult um middle age is like starts at like 35

what oh shit uh well i guess if you're gonna die at 70 then that is yeah yeah that is right plan and then so you're middle-aged from 35 right to senior i'm what i'm wondering yeah there's no i mean there's 35 to 65 you're just middle-aged yeah i mean there's what's what else is there male menopause male menopause uh male pattern baldness yeah hot flash hot flash season yeah do guys guys don't get the hot flash that's a that's a woman only luxury, right? Yeah, I think so.

I think it's the, yeah. Cause otherwise how would, how else would women know that our bodies are dying from the inside out? That we're no longer useful. Okay. Oh boy. Here we go.

Here we go. Here we go. Um, but because 65 is when you start getting the cheaper bus passes. 65 is when you get the movies. You can ride the ferry for free on weekdays. Is that true? I think so.

You get to stand in the front row at parades. That's for seniors always get in the front row. Seniors and kids. Yeah. You get to have dinner whenever you want. That's nice. Although that's, I do that now. Who cares?

Who's policing that? Wait, I eat whenever i want i'll have you know i'll do whatever i want um i went home uh to montreal recently and my mom is 65 but my dad is 64 so my dad has been using my mom's bus pass to get the cheaper deal that shit's illegal yeah i know i was i was i was pretty embarrassed of lock them up to their behavior i was like really you're just telling people this openly it sucks it's actually your dad yeah i mean it's absolutely abusing the system and it's the why even have a system it's a difference too of 350 versus 95 cents oh shit i get it though i get it now you know what i mean and my mom's not taking the bus Why even have a system? It's a difference, too, of $3.50 versus $0.95.

Oh, shit. I get it, though. I get it now. You know what I mean? And my mom's not taking the bus. So someone's got to take the bus. But, yeah, when do you go from middle-aged to elderly? That's the next stage. Oh, okay.

When you become a senior or elderly or... There's so many stages at the beginning, though. Yes. or elderly or there's so many stages at the beginning though it's like and then like the stages last for like six months at a time when you're a baby and then you're you have stages that last 20 years yes yeah that's true who is it infant toddler no infant baby toddler is baby one of them i guess. Is there also like baby, baby includes infant and toddler. Like maybe there's like a bigger bracket of like,

it goes like the big themes are baby person, old person. And then within baby, there are subcategories within. Okay. I just looked up subcategories. I just looked up. What are the stages of life?

And there are five. Okay. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Okay. So, this is the, yeah, here's just like the first thing that came up. Infancy. Yeah. Toddlerhood.

That was a book by Paul Reiser, Toddlerhood. Preschool years. early school years adolescence young adulthood middle adulthood and late adulthood so yeah they are just giant chunks for the second half of your life it also sounds like some great tv show titles where like i'm gonna i'm to pitch a show called young adulthood. You know what I mean? It's like the young Sheldon. Yeah.

We need another young Sheldon. Yeah. Younger Sheldon. The preschool years. I think every other show should be about a childhood where it's narrated by the person that created the show. That's a, I think everybody hates Chris. I'm interested in.

Everybody hates Critch. Everybody. Oh, just the ratings. Just the ratings. Hey, did you guys hear that Fred Savage has done so? He's canceled? He's out the window. No, thank you.

You're out of here, Fred Savage. And when he was being fired, a monologue was happening in his head. He's like, then I realized I was going to be fired forever. Turn, turn, turn, played. I was googling it because i just heard about that yesterday and i was like what's happening and then i've he there were like allegations against him when he was 16 even what there was like he and the uh his brother scrote uh just brother call him a scrote on that he calls him a scrote yeah uh they were was it wayne dwayne or dwayne yeah uh dwayne wayne it was his brother was kadeem hartison and wore the flip-up sunglasses in 1966 man here's what i think about vietnam uh the uh yeah there uh it said like when he was 16 the the costume person on the wonder years

accused them both of sexual harassment jesus oh my god it's like clarence thomas times yeah that's true what was his thing putting a pube on a coke or something is that the right guy is that i mean that's hilarious it was a number that's that's how he got off was the judge was like i'm sorry that's too hilarious pretty good pretty good um there was there were a bunch of uh details from that case but yes that was one of them yes and did he still has a job he got away from it oh yeah and he's uh um he and his wife are uh traders they're at trader joe's yeah they're at trader joe's they're picking up some cookie butter oh yeah um him and his wife are traitors like traders against the state yeah yeah yeah okay his wife was like uh supported the insurrection oh yeah oh yeah well we all did at the time we

all thought it was pretty cool as it was happening. We didn't know. That's true. Yeah, right. Look, we're young. How should we know? Yeah, exactly. We're just some dumb young idiots, right? That's what would be a good band name, the Dumb Young Idiots. Dumb Young Idiots, yeah. Yeah, opening for the

fine young cannibals. And then the President of the United States of America. It's a triple bill. Do you like that idea of going to see a triple bill of like a nostalgic band if they got like three or four of them all together? And then everyone does three songs. Everybody does. Yeah.

They're famous three songs. And then they leave the stage and then it's another. It's the Jim Blossoms and Matchbox 20, and whatever would be a third one. What would be the third one? A Verve pipe. Third Eye Blind? Third Eye Blind.

There you go. You know that. I like the idea so long as the concert is still a regular length concert. Oh, you don't want just nine songs, and you're home in 45 minutes? I would love that. I would love to be home from a concert in 45 minutes're home in 45 minutes i would love that i would love to be home from a concert in 45 minutes yeah exactly i would love that i thought you meant like if it was a weekend event i probably wouldn't i don't sign i'm not gonna go to a full weekend thing

oh no no they do because i've heard of these shows that happen and it's like you know tiffany and debbie gibson and um salt and peppa that would be a very weird triple bill and they're probably playing at the PNE. They're not getting the Vogue. No, yeah, that's exactly. You're playing in a Thunderbird stadium. No, I think they're arenas. I don't know.

I know Backstreet Boys are coming back on tour. They're coming to Vancouver at the end of the summer. And they're still doing the big ones. Yeah. Have you seen them before? Are you going to go see them? I've seen them many times. end of the summer and you know they're still doing the big ones yeah because i think yeah are you have you seen them before are you gonna go see them i've seen them many times and i'll probably see them again yeah there's also something really wonderful about going to you know a concert that you loved as a teenager it was my it was one of my first concerts that i saw i was 12 years old

we got smoke meat and then went to the concert and I had a very upset stomach the whole time. Because the guards forgot to check for smoked meat. No, no, we went for dinner first, had smoked meat sandwiches and then went to the show. We went to Moe's. Oh, yeah. Famous, famous. Moe's Deli and Bar. And I remember I got a Caesar, but without any booze in it.

And I felt really cool. Like the drink. Barf. So it was just climato juice like a salted salted rim yeah but i just felt like i was such we were so like we went for smoked meat sandwiches like and i'll have a i'll have a caesar please and the woman was like uh and i was like virgin caesar oh sure and you were like because you were going to the uh concert the backstreet. She was like, do you want that with booze? And you're like, no, I don't want it that way.

I want it that way. I want it that way. I'll tell you why. Ain't nothing but a teenager. Did you have a favorite Backstreet Boys song or era? Or Backstreet Boy. So I know this is a bit of a quebec centric thing to do which quebeckers love to do um but i really do think that backstreet boys got huge in europe and in

quebec at the same time kind of like germany and quebec really really got into the backstreet boys so i remember what like seeing them uh on on french tv and thinking music plus uh it's the music plus we um and thinking that i had found the loves of my life and then they blew up in the rest of the world and i had this smugness where i kind of i knew i loved them first so that was my favorite time was when it was just us yeah i before things got crazy i remember uh because we had music plus out here yeah and i remember seeing them and i was like wow these guys are big only on this channel huge yeah jam on cuz backstreet's got it come on now everybody we could anyways i could go on there was a guy that i oh uh shane koisan have you heard of shane koisan he's a yeah so he's a poet for everybody who doesn't know

but he somebody sampled one of his poems and put it in like uh like a dance song and it was kind of like the number one dance song in germany so when he showed up like his it sold out so fast he had to add shows because everybody was like it's the guy from from the song that we all love and then did were they disappointed that they couldn't dance to his poems he let them dance around for a couple of homes. They did like at a kid's concert, like all the kids come to the front. Yeah. So have you seen that documentary about the Backstreet Boys?

Yes. And I've listened to, I mean, my heart breaks for them. And Lou Pearlman was a bad, bad man. What? Their manager.

Mm-hmm. I never heard that. Lou Pearlman? Oh my God. He was like, he did Ponzi schemes. Graham's heard that. Is he? Luke Roman? Oh, my God. He was like a... He did Ponzi schemes. Graham's laughing because, of course, he's heard of this. Oh, my God.

I just literally got warm. I got a bit toasty. His thing that he was obsessed with was blimps. Loved blimps. He loved blimps. He loved blimps. He started selling blimps. Yes.

He said he would sell blimps, and he said that would sell blimps and he said he owned a blimp but he never owned a blimp he owned a model of a blimp that he took a very careful picture of outside so it looked like a blimp in the sky and he put it on all of his postcards and pamphlets and he sold millions of dollars worth of advertising on this fake blimp yeah but he was obsessed with blimps from an early age. So he never sold... I'm confused. He was selling blimps that he didn't have? He didn't have a blimp.

So if I go... Did anyone buy one and were like, hey, where's my blimp? They were buying ads for the blimp. And then there was one big gig where a very legitimate company, and I forget which one it was, bought this massive ad campaign. And they were all going to go see it.

It was going to like premiere at Cannes or something like that. And the day that it was supposed to lift off, I don't know what blimps do. Yeah, they lift off. The blimp exploded, apparently. Oh, no. Like the Hindenburg. Yeah. Oh, no.

And he had very good insurance policies on all of his blimps. I'm winking for the podcast listeners. So why would, boy, what insurance company is like, yeah, we believe you have a blimp. We don't need to see it. I mean, who would make up a blimp? You're a little pearl, man. We know you have a lot of choices in blimp insurance, and we appreciate your business. Well, you got here somehow.

It's crazy that blimps ever were able to be made or sold post-Hindenburg. Like, you would think that would kill the product 100%. I mean, they use a different gas now. Someone still makes blimps. Goodyear makes blimps, right? Well, they have one. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, they got to have one. You think they just have the one blimp? I know, but I just don't know if they make them. Oh. Like, did, you know, they just put their name on a blimp that they bought. I thought Goodyear made blimps, and I thought that it was a bit of a decoy so that they weren't, so we didn't catch on to them also making bombs and tires. They make bombs?

I'm pretty sure. Fair enough. I feel like they make weapons or something. Yeah, probably. The Goodyear blimp is made by Deutsche Zeppelin Riederei. I bet you they make bombs. I don't know. I bet you they do.

Do you think, because I think during World War II, blimps were used as some sort of weapon against the enemy i'm not sure what kind of weapon but do you think modern warfare would allow for a blimp shot down so fast it's pretty easy to take down yeah i could take it down although like do you have if you shoot a blimp from, how high can a bullet go? It depends on the bullet, I think. Like, because they have anti-aircraft machine guns, and those can go super high. Yeah, I guess use one of those on a blimp. And is a blimp like a parachute where it can have holes in it

it has to in the back where else does the fan go and how fast does that fan go yeah i guess it doesn't like how's the yeah what's the fastest blimp i guess and and i am thinking sometimes every time you guys say blimp i have been thinking of a hot air balloon so i've got to correct that in my head oh no yeah blimp is horizontal hot air balloon it's a dirigible not a mongolfier um would you guys ride in a blimp if you had the chance would i yeah would you f no what's the how long am i up there you're up there for like the first uh first quarter of game. Oh, and then it lands and I can get out? Yeah, yeah. Oh, for sure.

Yeah, but it takes six hours to get up and it takes six hours to get down. Yeah, that's what I'm worried about. I don't want hours of it. Yeah, but no, they don't land the blimp. They give you a rope ladder and you climb down. Give you a parachute. Everybody's cheering for you the whole time. I feel like you're on a blimp.

shoot everybody's cheering for you the whole time i feel like you you're on a blimp it's is there like a there's a little thing that hangs underneath the balloony part yeah and you there you can like you're in a little you know drinking champagne in a yeah little walk around celebrating too soon uh a successful blimp ride yeah i think if i was in a blimp the whole time i'd be commenting on how small it actually is i'd be like it's smaller than i thought it's not as roomy like you have to stay you're not it's because you're not in the you don't get to be in the big you're not in the blimp you're in you're in the basket you're in what's the what do we think a blimp is filled with helium that seems wasteful uh yeah it's probably what Wait, was helium the one that the Hindenburg? Was that the gas?

No, it was hydrogen. Hydrogen. Okay. Yeah, helium. I'm picturing there's a motor. There's probably some sort of motor. Yeah, there's a motor that. Right.

At the. At the back? Yeah, that's what I'm picturing. I'm picturing a submarine in the air is what I'm picturing. Yes. An upside down submarine. Where like. There's. I'm picturing. Yes. An upside down submarine. We're like that. There's at the hockey games,

the, uh, there's like, uh, uh, an Orca blimp that goes around the arena sometimes between periods. And it just, and it like drops down,

you know, uh, give certificate to Boston pizza. Nice. And, uh, but it, it goes so slowly and it bonks into things and i just love the idea of like two blimps in the sky bonking into each but from so far away one of them is going go left i can't my left no my left

um that would be a nice slow cartoon to watch. I feel like there's a scene in one of the Indiana Jones films that takes place on a blimp before it takes off. Like Indiana Jones throws somebody out of a window or something like that. And then they get off. I think it is the Hindenburg that he's. Because he's kind of like Forrest Gump, right? Indiana Jones. He's been there in a lot of like Forrest Gump, right? Indiana Jones. He's been there at a lot of famous.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah, definitely. I don't know if blimps are needed anymore because now they have those airplanes that shoot little clouds out that can leave messages in the sky.

Oh, sure. Yeah. I don't know if blimps are needed anymore. She said, I don't know. Were they ever needed? I don't know if blimps are needed anymore. She said. I don't know. Were they ever needed? I don't know if they're needed anymore.

I hate to say it. Oh, were they needed just to advertise Lou Pearlman's clients? Yeah. A lot of advertising money. And now we've got ads. Get in the O-Town blimp. Oh, O-Town. Yeah.

Rest in peace. Those guys also had a hard time. I wonder how much a blimp ad costs because uh if i saved up i get i honestly don't know what you're talking about like what is a blimp like a blimp ad is just your company's name on the side of a blimp yeah so like the good year blimp like that's the whole but also they have some of them have like a digital readout that goes along the blimp so it could actually get a different kind of tire these are bad please ignore the fame of this blimp i would shop around if i were you yeah just go to the tire store and they'll probably recommend a few and pick the

second cheapest it's a myth that you actually need four new tires at the same time yeah i mean if you're all a wheel drive, they'll tell you that, but. We go down to Bellingham to get tires because it's cheaper. Really? Yeah. We'll drive down to Bellingham, get new tires, right back. You'll drive, but you'll drive down on just like

bare rims. Bare rims. We don't have to, you know, don't break because we'll skid right off that highway. Bald as an eagle, these tires. Yeah, you send your passports in early so that you don't have to stop you just skid across the border you know last time i went to the states the border guard went what's up as my greeting i thought that was unprofessional what What's up? I like it. Did he honk at you?

He's in a car, too. We feel this makes it more comfortable for the people coming through the border if I'm also in a car. Yeah. What's up? Hey, cool. Hey, what's up? Oh, you're here, too? What the heck are you doing here?

So, what are we doing today? Oh, no way. You're going to the U.S.? Yeah. That place rocks. I love that place. How were your first couple bites? Awesome sauce.

Awesome sauce. Yes, we established that earlier in the pre-record. Can I get you a Virgin Caesar? Virgin Caesar. Doesn't it also have Worcestershire sauce in it? Oh, more salt? You better believe it. Yeah. Yeah, of course it also have Worcestershire sauce in it? Oh, more salt? You better believe it. Yeah.

Yeah, of course there's more salt in it. Oh, yeah, I think it's probably got a Worcestershire and maybe a celery salt. Some Tabasco. And then if you're lucky, you get more salt with like a pickle or an olive. Do you like a boozy brunch? No, thank you. Do you? Um, no.

Graham? Yes. You do? Yeah, of course. Any kind of day drinking I'm a big supporter of. What do you like at a brunch? Oh, you know, if everybody's drinking mimosas, I'll drink a mimosa for sure. I'll drink several.

If they order mimosas for the table, I'll have more than one. Sure, why not? But will you start the mimosa parade? Well, I mean, it feels presumptuous it's like that i'm ordering for everybody like could you pop an entire bottle of champagne for me to have a little orange juice and then it's going to be part of a group tab so don't uh yeah do not uh single me out please as the person who ordered it. And split this one bottle eight ways, price-wise.

But I love it, because then you go home, you're in bed by 7 o'clock p.m., you've got to jump on the next day. I'm pretty much coffee only, or Coca-Cola. Oh, yeah. If it's a greasy breakfast. I like Coke and bacon. Yeah yeah i just don't think it helps me in any kind of way drinking in the morning unless you're really really hung over and you have a bloody mary but then how is that helping really that's more just like when does it help when is alcohol supposed to help you doesn't really help me in the morning well it

the hair of the dog thing right where you're like i drank a lot i'll just have a beer with lunch headache gone these are uh this is you can get all this in my book booze blimps and bazaars that's the other thing i go to bazaars okay i can't wait for that oh it's b a it's not b i yeah yeah bazaar bazaar yeah when i was a kid there was a uh the place you would go to buy trading cards was bizarre bazaar nice when you say trading cards i have trading cards right here on my desk what do you got nba hoops cool the blaster exclusive pack is this a uh why i don't know are they new reason that i've got a basketball for the listeners at home if if next time you're walking around with a basketball

send me a message saying you want to shoot some hoops and then i'll i will i'll go i'll shoot some hoops with you graham yeah anytime okay all right, you've really put yourself in a position here. You want to take up tennis to this summer? I was thinking it'd be a fun, like summer of sport. You know, let's play basketball. Let's play tennis.

Let's do some things. Tennis is so hard. Dave plays a mean game of tennis. He's a, he's a regular with, I play with my dad and it's not a mean game. Trash talking. I told my mom that I was going to get into tennis and she said i can't she said

oh caitlin you with those knees that's what she said i said mom you want to take up tennis again this summer she goes with those knees excuse me mom does she have bad knees yes i've inherited my mother's knees so she was projecting oh sure shocker my mom's projecting it's okay she doesn't listen to this why send it to her so your mom doesn't listen to our show regularly my mom doesn't listen to any podcasts no I was trying to get her into them when I went back home recently

how old is she like 64 65 65 yeah right senior yeah she's a senior senior class. Saving money on the bus. But I would love to, like, yeah, shoot some hoops. Maybe we can, like, befriend some, like, scary teens.

A few years ago, there was a group, I mean, it's probably still ongoing, and I'm just not invited to playing handball. I don't think it still goes, but do you remember we used to meet at schools and, like, a bunch of adults would bounce a ball against a wall? Oh, you were part of it? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah yeah yeah it's fun i would get so sweaty five minutes in and be like yeah like everyone would just be wearing their jeans and i'd be like i had to wear exercise clothes here because i don't want to i want it to be appropriate for my level of sweatiness yeah you know who was great at handball was taz van rassel yeah that guy can like he's so agile when it comes to handball he was it was effortless for him i remember that

he's got big long arms yeah so like he practices he's he's been doing it like since high school that's true like it's like michael jordan he's got a lot of natural ability but it's the practice it's the practice yeah yeah well he's like Michael Jordan. He has to invent a rivalry. Yes. That's why Space Jam exists. It beat everybody on Earth. So they had to imagine

an intergalactic... Right? It's intergalactic? Anyways. It's intergalactic planetary and then it's planetary intergalactic. Yeah, there was something with the space-time continuum, for sure, where the Looney Tunes world opened up a portal, needed Michael Jordan's help to save their world through a basketball game against some mean aliens.

Yes. They were called the mean aliens. And, boy, did we ever find out what was up, Doc? What's that mean? I don't know. It's something one of the men with the long ears. The Looney Tunes men. The men of Looney Tunes.

The men of the Looney Tunes. That's the erotic calendar. But, like, with the new space jam movie why kids don't know looney tunes right like they are your daughters familiar at all with looney tunes um they're they a little bit but it's not even i don't know where to find it oh yeah no i mean either but it would just be on tv randomly when i was a kid but now it's it's like there's like five looney tunes things on youtube and they're not even full episodes yeah it's uh because it's a weird thing to be like okay we got lebron but he thinks probably a better actor than michael jordan and uh and then these looney tunes

kids can't possibly would they go to a movie just because LeBron James is in it? This is a very confusing thing. I mean, yeah, it was the number one movie of the year. Everyone went to see it. Won several Oscars. Yeah, so I don't know what, like, how is this even a question? Yeah, and I don't know, Graham, actually, I don't know if it won all the Oscars,

but it was definitely nominated for a lot, especially writing. Yeah, I couldn't pay attention to who won the Oscars, but it was definitely nominated for a lot, especially writing. Yeah. I couldn't pay attention to who won the Oscars because of that darn slap. Why? What happened? Just the Oscars slapped this year. They slapped. They ruled.

Yeah, the Oscars were an absolute bop. Oh, no. I'm sorry to hear. I didn't hear anything about this. No, it was good. I'm so sorry to hear. Oh, what a shame. And it's supposed to be on the most magical night of Hollywood. What a shame.

Well, in Hollywood, Oscar is king. Yeah. God. Everywhere else, content is king. Yeah. And you can take that to the bank. Okay. If you're at the bank, cash is king. These are the three kings of WarioDart.

But if you're in the ring, Cash is Clay. Cash is Clay. Good night, everyone. We are... Stop podcasting yourself. Live from Vancouver. We're not much fun. I think you guys are very fun.

Oh, thank you. We think you're fun, too. I'm a big fan. I listen to the podcast all the time. Why not? You got to do something while you're practicing tennis. Oh, did you guys hear that there was, or people thought there was a wildcat walking through a neighborhood on the west side? Okay.

But it turns out it was someone's 60-pound pet exotic cat. There is a 60-pound cat that's domesticated? Wow. Loose? Wow. But it's fine it's fine it only killed a wiener dog and then went off wow that's a big cat yeah like a 50 to 60 pound i mean get a dog at that point yeah okay, get a dog. Okay, don't be so weird. Get a dog. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Get a dog. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.

What size of dog do you have to be at before you're like, get a horse? Well, exactly. Yeah. You know what I mean? Some dogs are also so small that you're like, get a cat. Get the cat. It's too small. Yeah, they're tiny little dogs on parade.

There's no doubt about that and have you seen the new dogs where it's like half wolf half dog that they're breathing now i don't like it get a wolf what uh how old is your dog now she's four oh it's a fun age yeah good age for how old is your dog now he's's one. He's developing a personality. He likes to grab multiple toys and walk around with them. That's pretty good. He grabs two toys and then just has them in his mouth and jumps up on the couch and then walks away. We call him Two-Toy Roy.

Two-Toy Roy, that's cute. I like that. But now he's gotten up to four toys. In his mouth. I like that. But now he's gotten up to four toys. In his mouth. Yeah. Wow. These are like, they get little kind of like toys that had a squeaker in them and he ripped the squeaker out, but he keeps the toy around. It's just the carcass of toys.

Yeah. Yeah. Is he still kind of afraid of people? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Always will be. Steve, my dog's afraid of

everyone and everything and mostly other dogs she loves people but she's terrified of other dogs so i think it's okay you know it's nice to have a dog who's afraid of things it means they'll never run away that's true keep them afraid keep them close unless you hear something that makes them more afraid and runs away from it yeah that's right like an ice cream man or something like that yeah terrifying to a scared dog just do we have a dog catcher just roaming the streets like in cartoons with like the butterfly net yeah my neighborhood does yeah oh nearly and let me tell you the mount pleasant dog owners group is letting people know whenever there's animal control out there who you get pinged on the facebook page people have been warning each other hey animal control is down by the park don't let your dog off leash over here oh they'll they just give tickets for

off leash dogs they give tickets but now there's one animal control guy that everyone's really mad at because he's been yelling at people and that you cannot do you can give me a ticket but you cannot yell at me okay good sir does your dog have a license my dog yes of course does yours um we uh uh don't but we're gonna yeah yeah we've never been off leash so there's no no one will ever check yeah and uh you know when the dog's 16 then that's the right time for them to get a license so don't get a license too early um is it license is it is it a tag how do you know that you've got a license how does somebody who's like giving you a ticket it's a tag on their collar with their with their with the animal's

number okay and then it's also just registered with the city yeah and you have to renew it every year and is it a cash grab sure but whatever but fine look i like giving my dog jewelry so yeah cool yeah every mother's day is your dog have any kind of hunting ability even though your dog is incredibly domesticated and a very small cute little puppy that has only known its world does it have like a carnal urge though carnal no um sorry yeah yeah no he does have the carnal urges so that's that is true that tracks my sentence made so much sense until i said that one um yeah he's got some carnal urges He's got carnival urges too He's always like can we please go on the rides I think I could win it this time

Well we had raccoons Got up onto our patio From the neighbors scaffolding And opened up all the The cushions on the patio couch And The next day he was opened up all the cushions on the patio couch. And the next day, he went out there and was sniffing out there, and he was very distressed.

Oh, sure. It's like, who's been here? I didn't approve of these creatures. Let me grab a couple more toys. I'm going to grab a couple more toys, put them around to calm me down. Is your dog a hunter? You know what? We've had a series. I'll back this up a little bit uh we've had a number of dead birds on the roof recently and i don't and it's not from

my dog um and it's reassuring because i'll go you know maybe they collided with a blimp well maybe someone was aiming for the blimp and they accidentally shot a bird's head right off i just can't quite get the blimp there have been it was like a couple months where i want to say there was like three dead birds on the roof and one just didn't have a head one was completely opened up and then another one was just dead so of all, the headless bird you're shaming, that's body shaming. Okay, I'm just saying what I saw or didn't see. I'm giving. No, you had a little bit of attitude.

You said it made it feel like maybe it's wrong to not have a head. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying it was an obvious, it was an observation. It was the first thing I saw. It was a clear marker. It's how I distinguish it from the other dead birds that have been on the roof. All right. And it was all this to say, my dog has no interest in them though.

So like I've been, you know, I was upstairs watering and then I see that my dog sniffing around like Murph, what are you doing? And I walk over and there she's just standing looking at a, sorry, shall I say headless bird yes better better yeah a headless a bird without head um and she was just kind of staring at it and i'm so glad that she didn't eat it or sniff it or do anything with it she didn't have any carnal urges no carnal no carnal urges at all so that's a relief um and then i just took a bucket and i put the bucket on top of the bird and i went back in the house and i said chris there's a dead bird on the roof that you're gonna have to do something with yeah i i'm not gonna tell you where i'm gonna

leave that kind of i'll do the warmer colder thing but it rhymes with luckett and i will say when you open up the bucket you're going to be mad that all i did was put a bucket on top of it and i'm i'm gonna need you to take care of that now you the lead singer of um slipknot apparently has a jar with a dead bird in it that he sniffs for every show so he can throw up into his own mask yeah so he can puke. But you'd think that after a few shows he'd be used to it. But that sounds like something that would really play well in Europe. Maybe they're huge over in Europe

because of the barfing. Well, there are people who sell their farts in a jar, so why not a dead bird in a jar? I don't sell mine. I donate them to the Salvation Army, but it makes me feel better about myself. Graham, you could be, wait, every jar you've been donating has a fart in it and no one knew? They just thought you were dropping off empty mason jars.

But I signed them. So they should know that, you know, that's something that I do. Yeah. This is a limited edition. This is one of 30. There was a woman who was on 90 Day Fiance on TLC. Yeah. And her relationship did not work out.

But then she went on OnlyFans and was selling farts in a jar. And she made millions. Until. Oh, you know this story, Dave? No, no. What does it tell? Well, until she made herself very sick. Because she was eating fermenting focused foods right um and to give herself

more toots and it got to the point that she made herself quite ill and she thought she was dying had to go to the hospital and then it turns out it was just gas just gas and she was poisoning herself with sauerkraut and chickpeas i love it i love it and so and she was very herself with sauerkraut and chickpeas. I love it. I love it. It's an idiot. And she was very sad. She's like, I guess that's it for me. The doctor said if I keep this up, I'll be dead in a year.

How much sauerkraut are you eating? I love this stuff. Also, how much do I have to fart that much in the day? Yeah, it's more of a nighttime thing look this is what the problem with capitalism is so like the the market dictates that you must fart this much yeah and like i picture it as a dragon's den or shark tank pitch where it's like okay i fart in jars and then they're like how do you gonna how are you gonna scale this up? She has samples for everyone. And this one is for you.

I think you'll like it the most. Yeah, it puts their faces on the jars. Kevin, this is after I had chili. How are you going to scale it? Well, I'm just going to eat more gross food. Wouldn't it be the best if when you opened it, it made the noise too? Like you capture everything. Everyone quiet,

quiet, quiet. I'm opening my jar. Oh, Lori. Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Oh my gosh. Well, you know, it's sports day and the best and the the dogs got two toys. Um, yesterday. So in, uh, uh, in September I started, uh, playing hockey again.

Yes. Uh, with, uh, every week you just show up and they tell you what team you're on. Uh, except at the very end of the season, they organized a thing where you stay on the same team for five games. And then we had a little playoff series. And last night was the last game of the year. And we won the trophy. Nice! Yeah, congratulations.

This is well earned. Yeah, we won it in game five. You know, I'm so proud of these boys. You guys came a long way. But you actually did, Dave, I remember everyone being very worried when you were in the wrong league. When you were in the very competitive league and you were being hurt really badly, everyone was quite concerned. I don't think I was being hurt very badly. They hit you hard and you came off the ice broken as a man.

Yeah, that's right. It was broken as a a man i had no more carnal urges you had no carnal urges you only had vegetal urges it was so sad um i did but like we're we played once a week except for this last this five game series i think we played four games four of the games were within a week and i did hurt so much like my games in one week yeah and my forearms might for some reason my forearms hurt so much but that's uh to be expected right with all the fights that you got i i think it's just from like twist like flipping my wrists yeah yeah that makes sense maybe you should start skipping rope in the off season so that your forearms get tight and you don't have to actually have it. The rope attached to start swinging some things around.

Yeah. Okay. Let's got it. Mimed it and hurt herself. I hurt myself right here. It's okay. Um, so the off season starts now.

Uh, really looking at golf. Cause it's the off season. Yeah. I guess I'll golf um you know what just take some time to be with the family yeah yeah that's right yeah yeah well you don't know where you're gonna be next year you know what i mean like you don't know that's true yeah yeah yeah i don't have a contract you don't but you were nominated as mvp right you got mvp

or you got the not the heisman that's some other thing yeah i got the? You got MVP or you got the, not the Heisman. That's some other thing. Yeah. I got the Heisman. Yeah. Oh, you got the college football trophy. Congratulations.

Yeah. Um, but, uh, you know, big part of my life. It's over now. What was your team name?

Like when they finally made the, you know, when they said the last five games, we're going to do a little mini. We were the white team. White team. Okay. Yeah white team okay yeah it was it was a and the white team won did they dave on a power play a white power play i know it's that you can't get away from it so i've yeah you know what i really need to do now in the summer is clean my disgusting gear yeah yeah or just open the bag and leave it in the backyard for a few days it's gonna rain

yeah yeah i'm hoping that uh it'll be sunny maybe i'll like i what i do usually is i put it in the bathtub uh with a bunch of like laundry soap and then put it out in the sun. Please do not, Aaron, read your hockey equipment. You get a bucket and stick. Oh, God. I was weeping when I heard that part of this. But you had to know. Aaron and I see each other, you know, weekly, right? We are pals. We work together.

But you don't talk. We never talk. You know what's funny? But, like, of all the people you know, if someone said, oh, someone you know is doing their laundry in a bucket with a stick. Aaron Reid. Right away.

I want to get him, I thought about it after, a washboard. Because if he's... I want to get him a jug, too. And maybe a stand-up base. A bucket with a broom handle on it. And then you know what he'll do with that? He'll make a really cool album.

Knowing Aaron, he'll make something cool as heck. Yeah. He is super cool. Yeah. No, I had also, I've spoken to Aaron about his laundry, and my word of advice was, wash your underwear separate from everything else. Smart. So, you know, do underwear and socks separate, and then just do t-shirts and other things separate from everything else smart so you know do underwear and socks separate and

then just do t-shirts and other things separate from that that's how i do my laundry okay yeah do you have a system graham no i put all the ones that are dirty stuff it into the washing machine do you mix colors yeah yeah like i won't put like just plain white things in uh but yeah i mix colors it doesn't matter what about all your collared shirts uh i take those to the dry cleaner what about are you worried about wringing around the collar yeah and ring around the rosie those are the two things yeah well that's about the plague or something yeah yeah um yeah no i just uh because my laundry in this building is very expensive so i kind of have to i can't parcel out different what is expensive for laundry these days mine

is for a laundry and a dryer is five bucks call the bank yeah right that's that's pretty expensive for oh and you're supposed to just have two Toonies and a Looney at all times? It's all fob. Oh, yeah. So you're supposed to have room on your fob at all times? Yes, exactly. Yeah. Do they have a senior's discount? Could you pretend to be old, get an old fob?

I could give it to one of the more elderly men in the building and say, throw this in, I'll make it worth your while. Yeah. Does your fob hang low? Dave, what do you do? There's four people that do laundry. How do you guys, do you each have your own little basket? Is there a laundry day?

I do my own. Abby does her own. Abby mostly does the kids, but the kids just get thrown in together yeah i and i do i do whites and i do darks separately but i wash them both in cold sure yeah i and i don't do my underwear separately because gotta tell you i haven't worn underwear since 1992 yeah what happened in 92 uh wedgies on sports day it was one of the events give dave away there was a day in like grade six or seven when everyone in my class all the boys uh got wedgied by the girls like the girls would wedgie the boys and the boys would snap the girls bras and it was just this is hey this is uh that stage in life yeah this is chaos that anger i'm

sure i've said this on the podcast before because it reminds me think of um the white champion track pants that people would be like and there was also one day at school where everyone got pantsed yeah like if you had to snap tracks on the side that all it took was someone to come up running behind do a quick pull at the side next thing you know you are embarrassed yeah you're in underwear city usa yeah yeah the uh uh when did you think that you'll ever wedgie anybody else in your life or do you feel that like like just revisit it once or uh or do you think that those days have passed i got a list i got a list of people i'd love to rip the elastic right off their undies um i was at a wedding recently and i wedgied the groom no that's good does

anybody have anything else to say before uh what's over there got him wedgie and you know i have a list of you know abby and I both have a list of five celebrities we're allowed to wedgie if we ever meet them. Yes. Yeah. That's fair. Who's number one on your list? I think you told me.

Who's number one? Who's number one on my list? Oh, boy. DJ Qualls. DJ Qualls. Good pick. Yeah. I would love to wet Willie Christina Ricci.

Oh, yeah. My gosh. Those ears? balls good pick yeah i would love to wet willie christina ricci oh yeah my gosh those ears for me it's got to be dr oz because he's always wearing those scrubs i could get him a wedgie and pants them all in one go yeah oh did you hear dr oz is not going to be able to run for his primary seat anymore he did not win the vote dr oz so oh draws he's got to go back to daytime tv work well he's good at it he was running to be governor i think or something like that um it's funny on his show that now it isn't just about uh doctor stuff so but he still wears the scrubs that's the uh that's the box he's painted himself into yeah and of all the things to wear like i don't think doctors wear the scrubs unless they're in the or yes you know unless they're about to get very dirty

they would wear a shirt and pants and sit behind a desk and read the file yeah that's right although yeah no you're right it's a hospital thing it's certainly not a just like visit the doctor kind of thing no and it's definitely not like an like a podiatrist kind of thing is there an outfit that if you saw a doctor walk into the room wearing it that you'd be like i gotta get out of here overalls doctor wearing overalls is concerned i gotta go i got to go i feel like like uh like a wacky tuxedo i I was like, oh, no, is this Dr. Demento? Oh, no. Have I been booked at Dr. Demento for my annual checkup?

Suddenly, like, a Mike Myers character comes in, and you go, oh, no, Dr. Evil. Oh, no, right? Oh, no. He's got that weird cat. He's got his finger on the side of his mouth. Oh, it's just Lorne Michaels. Yeah, he's just doing an impression of Lorne Michaels The man who launched

A thousand impressions Yeah Isn't What is the other one In like the kids in the hall movie The CEO is Lorne Michaels Mark McKinney doing Lorne Michaels Are there others?

I'm sure there's a transformerer that has a voice like that. Was there a character like him on 30 Rock? Wasn't Al Baldwin's character kind of Lorne Michaels-y? But he didn't say, like, Lorne Michaels is like, er, yes, er, er, I enjoy Saturday Night Club. No, but he was the big CEO that was a mentor to Liz Lemon. Yeah, I know. No, no, no, yeah i know no no no no shut up shut up it was 30 rock like 30 rockefeller and he was married to kim basinger for a while yeah yeah and yeah he was too billy baldwin's brother billy baldwin's brother yeah and now and now he's but

he's not allowed to do movies anymore i I like Baldwin. Yeah, he's out. But also, he started his own chain to rival Wahlburgers, and it's called Ballburgers, and everybody hates it. Is that true? No. Okay. Well, we were all saying things that were true. Oh, yes, yeah.

No, I just decided to throw in something fun, just to lighten things up, you know? Anyway, hockey season's over. Now it's time to get myself back in shape. Do you do yoga, Dave? Do you do any kind of stretching and yoga? Yeah, I do. Hell, I do yoga.

Do you really? How often would you say you do it? At the peak of the pandemic, I was doing it three times a week. Because I had nothing else to do. Now I do it once a week. How much at a time do you do? Is it an hour? No, I do like a 24-hour session. Now I do it once a week. How much at a time do you do? Is it an hour? No,

I do like a 24 hour session. Okay, cool. Once a week. Yeah. Just once a week, once a week for 24 hours. Yeah. That's nice.

no, I, it's about an hour. Yeah. Sounds pretty good. I do a little of this. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, I haven't been back to a studio since the Pando. Have you been to the movies since Sonic 2? Yeah, I went that weekend. I went right after the day I saw Sonic 2, I went to see Sing 2. And then the week after I saw the bad guys.

I love that you can know how empty a theater is before you go to it now. Yeah, that's true. Oh, yeah. But as I found at several movies, when you select your seats, there's somebody that selects a seat one over from you. And I'm like, what the fuck?

Who are these people? Who are these people? Get out of here. Have you seen this? Get out of here. Dave, would you ever do yoga in a park? Would you ever do outdoor yoga? No, no.

Would you do slacklining? Yes. Graham, would you ever do yoga yoga no would you do slacklining yes graham would you ever do yoga in a park i would do everything in a park i just let it all hang out in a park i do yoga i do rolling down a hill sure cheese wheel i streak i love the park. What can I say? Oh, great. What's going on with you? Oh, so, so little. Oh, good. Uh,

I don't ever binge watch, uh, TV show. It's your religion. It is against my religion. That's right. And, uh,

so I never do it. Uh, Oh, only on fat Tuesday. I'm allowed to do it on fat Tuesday. Sure. Um, binge watch those pancakes.

I had, I had like a day or two this last week where I wasn't doing anything. So I strapped myself in and binge watched a show. And the show was Working Moms. I watched all of Working Moms up to the current season. The CBC show? The CBC show, Working Moms. The Catherine Reitman CBC show? Catherine Reitman. Past guest show yeah katherine reitman

uh past guest ryan belville is part of the cast yeah um i i'm not sure why i picked that show but i felt like i can get through i can go barrel through this and i did it and i feel really good it just seems like the most odd choice it is but you know it's like the fact that you started with i never binge watch anything so i started with working moms yeah was there someone that you were invested in in the show like you're like oh this person oh i'll give no watch it no it's like one of those shows that it's just like it's just nice to have on you know what i mean like there's no you don't have to pay super close attention because it's not like Breaking Bad or anything

where it's all these factors coming together. But it's just pleasant. It's just pleasant to have on. I watched a couple episodes and I'm like, hey, why not watch a couple more? And then, however many hours later, I saws in the mall. So I'm ready for the next season

and it'll be hard to watch. How many seasons are there? Five. I've seen five. That's a long time. Yeah. That's a lot of mom content for you to watch as not a mom. A lot of mom tent. Yeah.

Yeah. That's true. Maybe I should go talk to a mom. I bet you would really hit it off. When's the last time you talked to your mom? I think it was 19. So it's 19 something. So a couple of years ago, two, three years ago.

Yeah. Very funny woman. Nikki Duvall is on Working Moms. She plays the assistant, the redhead. She's the assistant. She's very funny. Where do I recognize her from? She's been in a lot.

Yeah. Okay. She's been in a lot of things. She's great. She's great. I worked with her on New Eden. She's just so funny. Everything she does. Oh, if

any listeners out here in Canada haven't seen New Eden, it's on Crave and it's so funny. Yeah, and you know what? Don't let the Crave app deter you. It is on crave and though you may not be able to find it even though you put in the words new eden it is there and though it may be buried it is in fact there yeah it's somewhere in there yeah but that was a few

years ago so um well what's what's uh you know what's the next thing you're gonna binge if you get a few days off well by the way you don't get days off graham if you have plenty of time you should call me and we'll record a show whoa a little bit peek behind the curtain geez you guys are strict yeah well um that's how i look so good. I'm very strict with myself. But I followed it. The next thing I watched after the binge of Working Moms was a documentary about Gigi Allen. I really cleansed the palate and ready to go back in normal society. Was he the rock and roll guy?

He was like a bad boy, yeah? He was like a big mutilating guy in poo, yeah. Yes, yes, yes. And Dr. Oz I also associate with poo. That's true. Yeah, I feel like they would have got along really well. Gigi Allen would throw the poo and Dr. Oz would be like, well, actually, that is good poo.

It's shaped like the letter C. You know what? You want to have that kind of poo. You want that. You want that. You want that. You're so regular, you could do this at every show. That's fantastic. Good for you. See, we poo-pooed the guy who was puking from a bird jar, but we all seem, we're pretty

good with Gigi Allen's poo. It was a different time. I didn't poo-poo anyone. It was a different time. It was a different time. It was a different time. Graham, do you have all, like, every different time Graham do you have every streaming service everyone you can

yeah I do except maybe whatever Apple I guess Apple I don't have Apple Plus are they all you or are you sharing passwords sharing passwords

that would be a good name you? Are you sharing passwords? Sharing passwords. Heck yeah. Hey, that'd be a good name for a drag queen, sharing passwords. Oh, that's very good. Anybody out there who wants to use it, it's yours to use. Sharing passwords. That's actually really good. Thank you. Very good.

I would love to see someone do that at a brunch, please. Do you like, do you at a brunch please um do you like do you like a spit like you you chose working moms because you were you wanted something that was just nice to ingest yes um will you will you go down that road again will you try and find something like a schitt's creek have you have you done schitt's creek i know but after is it very pleasant to have on? I would. Yeah. I haven't seen all of it, but it's, it's, you know, that'll be my next, that'll be my next time that I have some downtime. That's what I'll watch.

Even if it's nice outside, I'll draw a close the blinds and just get down to it. Yeah. You don't need cancer. Stay inside. Okay. Everyone says, Oh,

it's so nice. So let's get outside. I go, you know what? I'll stay inside. Thanks very much. We're at sea. Yeah,

exactly. You know what? What the climate is out there. I don't want to go into let's get outside. I go, you know what? I'll stay inside. Thanks very much. We're at the same. Yeah, exactly. You know what the climate is out there? I don't want to go into the climate. Gross. I'm not going out there. It's insane out there. Things could fall from the sky. A blimp could fall down.

Yeah, birds, headless birds are falling out. Three birds, but I blame the hawk. We've got a hawk problem where we live. Okay. I think it's a hawk. I know it's a hawk. I saw a hawk take a bird down midair. Cool. Chew it, chew it on its head. Chew it's a hawk. I saw a hawk take a bird down midair. Cool.

Chew it, chew it on its head. Chew it on its head. Just took its head. And I was so mad when it just took the head. I was like, you got to be kidding me. Take the rest of the bird. Yeah, bud. Get out of here with this.

Oh, can you imagine just walking down the street and a bird carcass lands on you? Get it off. Get it off. get it off. Supposed to be good luck. They just say that to people who have had things fall on them because they make you feel better. Graham, did you have any snacks when you were binging the show? I did. I'm glad you asked. I watched, or sorry,

I ate nibs, which I found out by having a pack of nibs that they're produced by Twizzler. Twizzler makes nibs. I never knew that. I thought those were competitors. No, bud. Nibs are the part that won't twist.

It's just the untwistable licorice. Some licorice will twist naturally and some will just clump up. The clumpy licorice is what they use for nibs and then the twist doesn't have that hole through the middle yeah yeah yeah it's a it's it's no waste it's you know what twizzlers are kind of like those parachutes that have the hole in the middle they for aerodynamic reasons yeah get the twist you have the hole in the middle yeah you

can't suck anything out of a nib can't put a nib in a drink and then use it as a straw no huh that's true so you that you had nibs anything else had dibs uh i believe i uh had some milk duds and uh did you were you binging this at a movie theater i was didn't i say that then i was at a movie theater that was doing a movie for days yeah? Yeah, for days. It was a part of a radio competition. You had to keep your hand on the nibs for 48 hours to win a car. That's right. To win unlimited nibs for the rest of your life. Oh, boy.

Do we want to move into some overheards? Yeah. You're in a theater. The lights go down. You're about to get swept up by the characters and all their little details and interpersonal dramas. You look at them and think, that person is so obviously in love with their best friend. Wait, am I in love with my best friend? That character's mom is so overbearing.

Why doesn't she just stand up to her? Oh, God, do I need to stand up to my own mother? If you've ever recognized yourself in a movie, then join me, Jordan Cruciola, for the podcast Feeling Seen. We've talked to author Susan Orlean on realizing her own marriage was falling apart after watching Adaptation, an adaptation of her own work, and comedian Hari Kondabolu on why Harold and Kumar was a depressingly important movie for Southeast Asians. So join me every Thursday for the Feeling Scene podcast here on Maximum Fun. to know what happens to mario when he dies in that case you should check out triple click it's a podcast about video games a podcast about video games but i don't have time for that sure you do once a week kick back as three video game experts give you everything from critical takes on the

hottest new releases to scoops interviews and explanations about how video games work to fascinating and sometimes weird stories about the games we love triple click is hosted by me kirk hamilton me jason shire and me maddie myers you can find triple click wherever you get your Bye. Bye. Overheard. Overheard is a segment of this here show that if you use this here ears, maybe this here eyes, to witness a happening. Don't keep it to yourself. Bring it here to the podcast. You can send them to us by spy at maximumfund.org.

Caitlin, we always like to start with the guest. Would you lead the way? I would be honored to. So my overheard was during covid uh when it was full lockdown we were you know i was missing everyone we weren't seeing each other at all i was out for a walk kind of on main street in the mount pleasant area and this overheard that i'm going to share is for one very specific listener of the podcast. So I don't know who you are, but I was walking at main and eighth in Vancouver. And as I was walking along the sidewalk, someone else was approaching me kind of walking the opposite direction. And as we got closer,

I realized that they were listening to something on their phone. So they were on their phone, but they had a podcast playing on their phone out loud out loud but to me they were just kind of like they were working out and they were in transition airpods had died whatever but they didn't want to stop listening looks like they were looking for other earphones so i could hear their podcast and as i passed this person on main and eighth i heard overheard and this is the part of the podcast where we want you to share something. And I turned to the person, I went,

stop podcasting yourself. And I just yelled that at this person. And that was all. That was the only interaction. And they kind of were like, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And kept walking. But I just had this moment where I was like,

oh, that's so cool to hear just someone listening to that podcast. You overheard the overheard. You overheard the overheard. I overheard the overheard. And then I continue along 8th and I'm crossing Main Street when all of a sudden I get a car honk at me. Ooga! And it was Dave Shoka. And that was the day that I saw you on the street.

You gave a little toot toot. It was the same day because I think I even yelled. You did just, yeah, you were's happening what's happening i'm hearing your podcast um and i just thought that was it was one of those moments where i was like see that's pretty cool you weren't alone you were with your husband i was with chris yeah i don't i don't honk at solo women i think you were actually honking at Chris, to be honest. Yeah. He looks good in those jeans.

Always does. And it was an overheard of an overheard. I love it. It's so layered. It's like an onion. Yeah. So whoever that person was, I see you. And I thank you. And I thank you. Thank you. and then i have one more overheard

what's more of an overseen which was um today outside jj beans someone wrote the um the words on the window fat booty cilindio yeah we've seen that before we've seen fat booty cilindio i want to take a picture just to prove it someone wrote fat booty ciloty Céline Dion. And is that a thing? It's a, I believe it's a Kanye West lyric. And it's like just someone going around town writing that everywhere. Not with good penmanship or anything.

No wild style to them. No. You feel like Kanye, would Kanye be like feeling good that his lyric is making a difference yeah probably he seems like um you know it's easy to make him feel good who is he referring to when he says fat booty celine dion is that like ariana grande okay i don't think so but uh i wouldn't i'm saying she you know she's she she can do the same singing as Celine, but she's not as, you know, so small as Celine Dion. I know that it's really up to me to comment on her body.

I want to hear what you think about women's bodies, specifically this young singer. Bad booty Celine Dion. I always think of the Kanye lyric, good morning. That's the only one I can think of. Yeah, it's a good one. Whenever I hear that, it makes me of the Kanye lyric, good morning. That's the only one I can think of. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah. Whenever I hear that one, it makes me happy. I hear, good morning.

Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah. I was walking my dog the other day, and there were some, as I was walking along, some cyclists were passing me, and they were, for for some reason i could hear them for like 30 seconds because it was a dad and a kid so they weren't going very fast and i was able to catch most of their conversation and the kid was like angry uh about something and he said he i didn't catch what they were talking about but uh the kid says only god would know and then the dad said well i don't even know if god exists and the kid goes he does exist because you said so and the dad is like i never said so

and then the kid uh said well if you say so he exists and if i say so he exists and god if we say you don't exist does that hurt your feelings and then he paused for a second he says yes those kids having a direct conversation with god while being angry with his dad and biking next pope it's the next pope he's got a communication with god jesus do you think those kids can see or hear things that maybe i like you know how there's frequencies we lose when we're older do you think kids can see or hear things that maybe I like, you know, how there's frequencies we lose when we're older. Do you think kids can actually talk to God and maybe we're just, we shouldn't be so judgmental of these kids.

Oh boy. Yeah. And I wasted my three wishes. I was stupid kid. Anytime I'm with a kid, I'm like, tell me all your thoughts on God. Yeah.

Cause I really like to meet him. Her. Meet her. Right meet him. Her. Meet her. Right. Sorry. Sorry. That was Dishwalla, their gender bending God song.

Dishwalla feels like it would be part of that tour with the third eye blind. Oh, sure. Fine. Three song hit. Yeah. But Dishwalla would open cause they only have the one song. They only have the one.

Yeah. Right. Yeah. That's, that's a pretty good gig, you know, opening on the road no stress on you you just have to do your cool song while everybody's getting uh yeah everyone is backstage so nervous oh you gotta do three songs tonight remember guys it goes one song two songs three songs okay yeah we gotta do hey

jealousy allison road and uh till i Hear It From You what about Follow You Down next tour and then Texas will close oh yeah what's their hit are they Irish or something no no say what you want

oh I don't know. And now I'm blanking on it. Now I can't not hear Dishwalla. Anyways, Texas, look them up. Great find. You may not know them, but apparently they're headlining this tour. That's the tour is called Apparently. Apparently.

Apparently. Dave, I feel bad for this dad and you're overheard where it sounds like he's just being bullied and gaslit by their kid uh you know what i gotta be honest it's nice when a kid is like uh you know showing a lot of personality it's fun yeah but the fact that the kid was like i can talk to god and you can't you idiot like that's that's not fair for the dad. Well, if the dad practiced more, he might be able to talk to God. If my kids could talk to God, I'd be like, this is great. Do your kids have imaginary friends?

Yeah. Boy. Yeah, they had. Margo had one for a while. But I think not really. She was just like. Going through the motions? Yeah, she was like, oh, I heard that these are a thing.

Right. So let me introduce you to Bonnie. It wasn't a drop dead Fred situation. No. She wasn't getting into trouble and antics. Don't say drop dead Fred after Fred Savage was canceled. Yeah. Well, don't say drop dead Fred one more time because then we'll have said it three times.

Was he in that? Or was he in... Was Fred Savage in that? In drop dead fred one more time because then we'll have said it three times was he in that or was he in it was fred savage in that in drop dead fred no what was his movie english comedian that what is his name it's very funny um but yeah he was a comic from england oh and it wasn't winona rider but it was like phoebe cates wasn't it? Am I wrong about that? It's Phoebe Cates yeah but what was the movie I'm thinking of with Rick Mayall Mayall? Rick Mayall I think Are you thinking about the one with Howie Mandel that's under his bed?

Little Monsters yeah Little Monsters yeah I thought he was Drop Dead Red What about you graham um i have uh tell me all your thoughts on god i was talking to uh past guests i was in regina uh i was talking to past guests sean lecomber so this is said right to me but i feel like he was just saying it like I heard it and he was just saying it kind of off into space. And I said, I will before the end of year, I got to go to Saskatoon for for debaters purposes. And he said, Saskatoon, home of the zipper merge, which is a new kind of merge that's uh i guess caught on

somewhere but like i guess we have one kind of merge and they have one that's i don't know i looked it up and i don't understand what it is i don't know any other should be a zipper yeah yeah that's true maybe maybe that's it maybe they were the ones who invented i mean it's a slow you know if you're merging on the highway you're not zippering but if you're Yeah, that's true. Maybe that's it. Maybe they were the ones who invented. I mean, it's a slow... If you're merging on the highway, you're not zippering. But if you're... Two lanes go down to one lane, you're zippering. Yeah, I think this was highway.

If you're merging on the highway, you're dealing with an asshole, because who the heck is in the right lane when someone's trying to enter the highway? You know what I mean? Yeah, some jag. Sometimes I can't get to the left lane, because there's, you know, hot rod next to trucks oh yeah yeah there's i hate it when a hot rod comes oh those pepperoni sticks just all over the highway they've traveled like those logs on the back of it oh that would be delicious hot rod trucks

like on a flatbed no hot rod but like it's a hot rod like a pepperoni stick like a slim jim yeah there are pepperoni sticks called hot rods I did not know that yeah I love it hot rods sure um now we also

have uh overheards and overseens sent in to us by listeners all over the map. If you want to send one in, sbymaximalfund.org. This first one comes from John from Calgary. If you're wondering, he went to Bowness High School. He's put that in there. Oh, okay. Do you know where that is?

Yeah, in Bowness. Okay. Yeah. Do you know where that is? Yeah, in Bones. Oh, okay. Yeah. I don't know why they didn't name it after somebody prominent,

but maybe Bones is a famous person. Bones, you hardly know us. I was walking in downtown Calgary. Two girls were walking towards me with a dog. The dog stopped to smell a discarded can of Chef Boyardee pasta, which shouldn't be who's finishing their Chef Boyardee and throwing it out the window of their car? And the girl that was holding the leash said to the dog, don't be a dirty little bitch.

Well, that's not the dog's fault. You can do better. Technically, that is, you can use that phrase if you're talking about a dog. I'd be worried about cutting up its mouth. Me too. They can. I mean, its little tongue.

Yeah, I'd also be worried about its sodium because those things. Chef Boyardee. A dog can take down a few cans. Yeah. Did you ever eat Chef Boyardee or were those raviolis cold? I would put it in the microwave and uh but yeah no i sometimes would do a bad job of microwaving them yeah i think i may have put it on the stove uh on occasion i loved it i didn't get enough of that chef boyardee on the stove what are you the king of time we have the king of time let's go i just watched a whole tv series right yeah i'm the king

of time it's time's on my side when i was a kid uh we didn't have a microwave and so it was stoped up baby you're telling me you grew up in the 80s and 90s without a microwave well we moved in the 90s like 93 and we did have a microwave but before that i had one that had a dial on it it was like an old yeah got a dial yeah and then you were committed to it you were committed to the four minutes you're like i'll use up a minute and then i'll save the other yeah yeah 330 for later past guest uh pat kelly never had a microwave growing up and then when we worked in an office together and we got a microwave, he was like, well, so what do you do with it? He was like, facts.

You put paper in it. You dial. But like, what do you put in it? Do you go to the like microwave food section of the store and put that in the microwave? Sure. You know, there's a theory that some human beings are really aliens and star children, if you will, who have been touched by aliens and are not of this earth. And if there is someone that I've ever encountered in my life that is perhaps a star child, it is the Pat Kelly. Not the bucket laundry Aaron Reid.

No, no, no. Oh, I hope Aaron is at one point point visited i would love for him to be visited um but i do think pat is such a unique human being where you're like he's just not of this world huh he's out of this world he looks at a microwave and goes so what do you put things in this i honestly think he's the most normal person i know. Well, Dave, that's coming from you. I guess so. I'm a bit of a star child myself. You're a bit of a star child yourself.

Yeah, I would say so. Yeah, you're unique. Yeah, like New York. And I'm red leather. I'm yellow leather. Yeah. Now you warm up. Now you warm up at the very end of the show.

This next one comes from Allison in Grantham, Lincolnshire, UK. Not Grantham, Lincolnshire, Cambodia. So, I was walking to a physio appointment near a quite posh school. Some kids about 13 years old and blazers and ties were leaning against the bus shelter.

One says casually to his friends, my resting heart rate is 60 beats per minute, you know, and it does go to 120 sometimes. That's quite bad. Apparently he pauses and then says, but seeing I don't do any exercise, then I guess it's quite good yeah it's on a sliding scale if you yeah does he have a bit or something i think probably like an apple watch is what i gotta get your kid an apple watch yeah god kids are so goddamn lucky i can't believe it do you even have any idea now what your heart rate is like i wouldn't be able to guess quiet everyone quiet for one minute three four five six seven eight oh no i don't feel anything there's nothing

um at the uh when my hockey season started the guy who um uh runs it sent out an email to everyone saying all right uh everyone try to get your cardio up before the season starts. We don't want any jammers out there. And I was like, what is a jammer? And I looked it up and it's slang for heart attacks. Oh, and a banger is a hit, right? So a banger is

a hit and jammers are heart attacks. That's true. Okay. Wow. And a lot of these kids today, bad means good. Jesus. Yeah. I can't keep track.

Also, I'm getting ready to have your minds blown. Emo stands for emotional. Yeah. And you know, when, when we were growing up, something that slaps is considered violent,

but now something that slaps is good. Yeah. Oh, good luck communicating with kids. Yeah. Come on kids. Just, up something that slaps is considered violent but now something that slaps is good yeah oh good luck communicating with kids yeah come on kids just oh yeah these kids some of them are star children i hate to ask were there any jammers this season no jammers that i know a couple of broken fingers oh okay so there was some kind of medical oh yeah for real yeah but that's what a jelly is. You got a jelly there. You got a jelly.

It's like a broken limb, a broken bone. Right. A pulmonary embolism. Oh, yeah. Nothing but pulmonary embolisms. Red leather, yellow leather. Pulmonary embolism. Pulmonary embolism.

That's a good one. That is good. Mm-hmm. This last one comes from Owen in Wakefield, Vermont. It's in a grocery store here in Waitfield, Vermont passed an older gentleman telling another customer she's only 51 I guess I am robbing the cradle

oh the man in question was 100 years old so yeah 51 almost a senior, no middle age still 51 yeah middle age yeah born in the 70s yeah that's right still full price on everything still paying full price but you know not getting paid maybe their worth so yeah middle age yeah middle age yeah yeah yeah yeah um not getting

paid their worth i feel like at 50 you're at your peak of earning power. Oh, sorry. I forgot not everyone works in the arts. Right. Sorry. Oops. I forgot that people get more money as they... Ah, see, because I work in the arts, I'm getting less as I get older.

Oh, sure. But I understand now that other people don't. Okay. That's good to know. Look, I've been telling you for years, just sell out. Yeah, exactly.

So what? So what? Sell out. Just be a sellout. Like a garage sale? No, like go be corporate. Yeah.

Like go get a commercial endorsement, like sell yourself out. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Okay. You're the spokesperson for our dean yeah then isn't it the same when i do a disney show

okay okay i'm very grateful for all the work thank you yes yeah um in addition to overhears that are written and then complaints about the state of working in the arts um we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 that's one ugh spy pod one why would anyone complain it's the best yeah hello dave graham and guests this is marcus and fresno calling into the overseen this is the second time i've seen this vehicle driving around town. It's got a decal on the back that says Baxter Artistry, custom cremation ashes and breast milk jewelry. Oh, wow. Usually a person only has one of those one or the other.

They don't usually do both. So custom creation. Tell you what, that office stinks okay that office reeks you got a bunch of old breast milk and cremated bodies yeah like would you say like i want the cremation to be like slow roasted on a spit or like that kind of what would you do as a custom cremation if you have the or are they doing something with the ashes like maybe putting in a firework or something or like some kind of um you know a big you know using it as glitter on a piece of art glue and a bunch of that would be fun or maybe they're making the snow globes you know you could always

make a little snow globe though ashes. That'd be nice. And then what's in the snow globe? Is it a picture of the deceased or is it just like New York? It's just the Eiffel Tower. Well, we couldn't quite spread your ashes at the Eiffel Tower, so we did the next best thing. So we're spreading your ashes on the Eiffel Tower. All right. here's your next phone call folks hey david graham this is rob uh in jankintown pennsylvania calling over

heard i was waiting in line for a hoagie uh at a hoagie shop and there was a woman and a man in front of me and the woman was an annoying person I'll say. She told her date that she was she said I'm a Gemini so I'm going to get the chicken cutlet and the date did not seem to be interested in that

for any reason. I read my horoscope today and it said chicken nuggets. I need a lean protein. Classic Gemini. She was what I would call an annoying person. I think that was very funny. That was very kind. Whoever that person was,

I forget their name, but that was a very kind way of describing the situation, which we all instantly understood what kind of person they were talking about. Where we all went, yep, that person. I forget his name too. I think it was Hoagie. Getting a Hoagie.

Yeah, getting a Hoagie. Probably from Wawa. Wait, are there chicken cutlet Hoagies? Oh no, I think that's probably a choice. Chicken cutlet Hoagie. I think CCH Pounder's name, it's short for chicken cutlet hoagie pounder. Good.

Okay, final phone call. Hi, Dave and Graham and guests. This is Maggie calling in from Washington State, calling in with an overheard. So we were driving down the road, my daughter and her six-year-old niece in the backseat yelling out song requests. And my niece says, I want to hear that song. And, you know, it goes, um, um, it goes, Papa, Papa, Papa Murphys.

I think it's by Taylor Swift. Okay, thanks. Love you guys. Bye. I'm playing my favorite song. Call 1-800-567-2001 1-800-567-2001 Alarm

Force Papa Papa Murphy's I thought it was going to be Papa Can You Hear Me? It was even better take and bake pizza but you take it and bake it

you don't put it in a microwave Pat come on unless you fold it in well in quarters I suppose is what you have to fold it into to get it in a microwave those are catchy songs I mean look Uncle Jesse made a great living off of making those kinds of jingles.

And so did, you know. Can you remember any of the jingles that Jesse and Joey made on Full House when they were in advertising? Oh, I remember they made the basement into the recording studio. So there were a few scenes down there. The one I remember is DJ and Kimmy Gibbler recorded over one of them when they were just singing the locomotion. And the jingle he had made was, Casa de Pancakes, ole! That's pretty good. Casa de Pancakes. Wait, isn't that, that actually reminds me of something that exists now.

Like, bum bum bum bum bum bum bum. Don't know something that exists now like are you sure you know what it is it is a it is a i think someone ripped off an old full house jingle yeah which happens all the time yeah can't prove it but did they ever make a cd release for uncle jesse? Yeah, they held it at the Smash Club He toured with the Beach Boys Which is always my favorite There was an episode on the other day Where they were doing a telethon And Danny fell asleep during the telethon He was hosting it, but he fell asleep

And it was Dude looks like a It was an aerosmith song knows janey's got a gun and uh dave coulier was singing it with jesse and the rippers and they're all like it sounded fine and weird and they put it on tv but like for some reason jesse's annoyed by this well if you had to hang out with uncle Joey. And then Mike Love comes out and sings Be True to Your School with the Rippers. Jesse on drums, of course. Did John Stamos get the Beach Boys into Full House? Or was it like a writer on Full House?

No, they were already into it. They loved it. They were, right? Yeah. They were already big fans. Yeah. They knew John Stamos. He's the link between those two universes

well I think if I'm not mistaken that is the end of this here podcast Caitlin you are part of the Sunday service performs every week Sunday night at the Fox Cabaret every Sunday at 8pm at the Fox

we do a live improv show for anyone who wants to come out and it's pay what you can the last sunday of every month that's with aaron reed tasman rassel ryan beal mark chavez and kevin lee hey i know myself they're a great great bunch um yeah doing that uh i'm on a i've got some you can catch me on Turner and Hooch. Oh, shit. Reboot. I play a U.S. Marshall named Jenna Martin. I'm barely in it.

I'm going to check that out. I play Hooch. I play Hooch. No, I got to work. There were four Hooches on set. Those are some big puppies. Yeah, so I'm doing that, but that's not, I don't see any money from that. So you don't have to watch that show.

Right. And the older you get the less money you'll see from it yeah they diminish it yeah um yeah

that's about it cool just you know hanging out figuring out uh figuring out some fun summer plans

you know hot howden summer is yes hot howden summer you know I'm gonna ask for a break from my marriage I'm just gonna

party don't tell my husband he doesn't know you oh yeah sure um you're just testing it out here I'm going to ask for a break from my marriage I'm just going to party don't tell my husband he doesn't know you you're just testing it out here to see our reaction to that we love that for you thanks guys really going to blow up my life this summer keep a look out for me on the patios

of Vancouver drinking daytime well thank you so much for being a guest on the podcast we always very much love to have you here and all you people out there listening all you people can't you see can't you see

nice bow on everything yeah what Dave said and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.