Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 742 - Matty Vu

Episode Date: June 7, 2022

Comedian Matty Vu joins us to talk his car history, 6 movies, and one more movie.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 742 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who has sworn off jackets for the rest of the season, Mr. Dave Shumka. That's true. I'm, uh, you know, there's a thing where people are like, oh, there's that one jacket that you can wear on that one day. And it's like not too cold and like not too creamy. Not too creamy? Well, I think it's more of a soup than a jacket.

But it's Vancouver. We have a lot of transitional jacket days. Yes. Yeah. But I was going to say, this episode is 742, which is the same address as a certain yellow-skinned family that says Doe and Icarumba. And we salute them. Hello.

Happy birthday. Happy episode to you, the Simpsons, at 742 Evergreen Terrace. And hello. Yes, we stan the Simpsons even now we still do we've been standing them for 42 years what if you turn them on and they were like alright they're so good now

wait our guest today first time guest here on the podcast very funny comedian if you're in Canada you can watch him do his thing on cbc gym and it's uh maddie vu everybody hey it's me how are you good i have uh put my winter jackets away officially in the closet buried deep yeah i'm about to do that but i'm not ready to bring out

the summer stuff just yet so kind of i'm gonna, I'm going to have a real, will they or won't they? Okay. Take us through your, how many winter jackets you have, Maddie Boo. I got like a nice pea coat for works and then like a, like a snow, like a super dry,

one of those super dry jackets that are like, Oh yeah. It was like very warm to wear in the spring. So, but those, do you have anything, anything just for rain? Yeah. I have a rain jacket

that just always stays out in this town yeah yeah the rain jacket never gets put away but yeah like when when will you what temperature will you wear a jean jacket up to because i feel jean jacks is a real summer thing but also they can get pretty hot today was the first day i didn't wear one and today was like 18 degrees out yeah i'm in for a long sweaty summer that's for sure yeah i'm uh denim denim disappears after like may 15th for me i can't get no denim at all at any kind i know you're a big denim shorts guy graham and yes yeah denim vest i didn't wear a denim vest uh in the summer when i had my little scooter and ride that around as well let's talk let's let's get to know us let's talk all about it yeah den of vest i did wear a vest uh in the summer when i had my little scooter and i'd

ride that around as well let's talk let's uh let's get to know us let's talk all about it get to know us so maddie you're a uh you're not a moped a scooter owner still yes i sold it over the pandemic i switched to a car because i oh really yeah i got scared of being on the sky train going to surrey for work so yeah irresponsible purchase what what yeah what so you got rid of your scooter what kind of scooter was it it was like a ruckus it had 50 cc's it topped out at like 50k nice okay so i don't know what that means but but it's... It's good city driving. Yeah, great for the city. It's not like a motorized, like, razor. It was more substantial.

Yeah, it had, like, a gas motor. Like a Vespa. Yeah. Yeah. But you can only drive that. That's kind of like a limited amount of times you can drive that here in Vancouver before it gets too wet or too cold. the wet never really bothered me but no it was more like when it got too cold you'd be freezing on it yeah and it's uh it's yeah like you have to park like it never got stolen anything

like that you never had to replace it i always parked it like illegally too i was like parallel parked cars i'd like if there's enough room between them can it go can it go on the highway no it's not fast enough that's why i had to get rid i couldn't take it to work i saw someone with a what uh with like a bike on the highway the other day and i was like get off the highway buddy yeah like a bicycle yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm pretty sure that's illegal because you can't even like a walk on the highway yeah this guy didn't care this guy didn't care do you think this guy was the coolest guy in town is that possible he was he was a transient gentleman yeah yeah you know he had to get where he was going and you know what you gotta take the highway sometimes yeah i was imagining uh like a full-on bike

spandex person and oh sure lane for some reason i was like they're already annoying me that they're in the fast lane yeah i saw a group of them yesterday it's the it is the season yeah it totally is the season the the group did you see were they all the spandex ones or were they more recreational ones no they were spand is bandy guys what what do they call them middle-aged men in lycra or like mammals. Yeah, mammals. Were they matching spandex? They wear the same kind of outfits and the greatest

thing is if you see them get off their bike they've got shoes with this thing that attaches. So they sound like horses when they go to a coffee shop? Watching them walk is so funny. It's like ski boots but only on on your toes yeah and you could just hear it on the pavement i my bike was stolen it was yeah i i take a little solace knowing that

if one of their bikes is stolen it was like ten thousand dollars mine was in the low three figures yeah and their bike their bikes are like super light because they're made of carbon fiber. So they're just like, yoink, I'm out of here. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't know that you lost your bike. Well, you know what? We had a good run.

I owned it for two years. And I guess I'll have to get a new one now. Yeah, or not. That's the other thing. I do. I have kids get a new one now. Yeah, or not. That's the other thing. I do. I have kids who ride bikes. Right. And Abby's not a bike rider.

You can't just. Oh, no. I mean, neither am I, but I have to somehow shoulder the load. I'm a scooter guy. You know that. Yes. Yeah. You're a scooter guy.

Yeah, get a Razor scooter and Razor scoot beside them. Oh, that would be so cool. How do you guys feel about people zooming around on those one wheel things you get jealous of them or do you hate them or i find them hilarious mostly outfit based because they're they look like stormtroopers usually yes yeah they've got that's the hilarious part if you just like had just like a normal bike helmet it's like is it it's like a motorized, it's like a Segway thing,

but just with one wheel in the middle. It's like a Segway unicycle. Yeah, you're kind of balanced on either side of the wheel and it's, they like, they look incredibly intimidating to me. I don't know how I would, but they're so perfect.

You'd fall off and crack your tailbone. Yes. And shake your tail feather. I wouldn't even, I wouldn't even get it to start. I would just step on it and I would flip over. Have you ever ridden a hoverboard? I know Maddy's got it.

Maddy's answer's gotta be yes. I have not ridden a hoverboard. What? I haven't taken a lot of like electric motorized, like an electric vehicle. I've ridden it around my office. So it's not like just, just to like,

you know, test it out. A lot of dudes, I like car shows used to have them and they're just like rip around the car shows. Why do you know about car shows? Oh, I'm like a big car boy.

Okay. Yeah. So you, so you, uh, how have you always been a car boy? Uh, like once I like learned,

was learning how to drive was when like fast and furious came out and then i got like really into it but as a kid i never really cared about cars so what so fast and furious was a big influence on your car what kind of cars do they like i remember when the first ones came out it was a lot of those it was like souped up uh you know a honda or something it was always like a souped up like cheap car yeah but with like those lights that go underneath yeah those underglow lights we all we had a phase of them um and they're coming back are they thank god again thank you and now that there's been like 10 of those movies is the same kind of car or have they evolved? They've evolved.

Also, same as car culture and car style, all that kind of stuff disappeared. Because they now need cars that can race against a submarine and stuff like that. Yeah, to fight a submarine. They have a lot of jets attached to their vehicles now. So you bought a car in the pandemic. Is this your first car owning as a car boy no okay how many cars have you owned let's go through it yeah let's break through yeah okay my very first car i owned was a 89 uh ford probe okay cool name yeah cool name cool thing to

have done if you're lucky enough it It was red, it had a turbo, and that was like my first car. It was my brother's first car too. And my brother is 15 years older than me. So that's how long it just like stayed in the family that I got it then. Was this an automatic or a standard? It was a standard.

That's the way the gearheads like it, right? Yeah, I've only ever had one automatic in my life. Yeah, I have one currently and it's fine. So how many cars will be on this list? Five. Five cars. You own five cars and you didn't own a car for a little while. Wait, Dave, how many cars have you owned?

Four. Yeah, me too. Four. Yeah. You guys are like, really? you've owned four graham yeah i owned two in calgary one of which i sold and the other one caught on fire and then i owned my grandfather's car out here and then the current subaru impresa but then you didn't you didn't own one for 20 years almost yeah wow yeah yeah i i didn't own a car for two years and those two years i had a scooter still nice okay so car number one uh the turbo probe turbo probe next car

because my brother never took care of it and then i got a 93 toyota wait why is it why is it your brother's fault well i got it and it was like terror in terrible condition okay and i was like he was like it's free let it die and then you can junk it that's what we did yeah live and let die i know yeah yeah um so next car what and then i got a toyota paseo toyota paseo i don't know what that is like no one ever knew what it was it was like a little two-door coupe uh it was slow it was boring didn't really like it toyota only ever seems to advertise the corolla and the camry and then you see an avalon and you're like who's that what what is who's the new big man in town in nascar they use a camry they don't use their cool race cars they use a camry yeah that's pretty that's cool though i think that's

pretty cool you can have your kids in the bag um dave can you describe the did you look at the car yeah what it looks like the toyota paseo yeah it's yeah it's but it's like uh beige two doors oh man i got it for like uh 500 bucks it was cheap but i just needed a car 500 bucks and did you just buy it like sight unseen or did you get to test drive it or i used i uh worked at a car dealership as a lot boy like at out of high school so you started as a lot boy and then you became a car boy it's called lot boy and car boy was like at the same time okay because i was like i like cars i'm just gonna work around cars wow i've never had a job that was something boy i feel like that's those days are gone yeah you can't be a best boy or that boy or paper boy yeah

i think they're now just a lot attendance boring yeah yeah exactly uh did you when you were driving around the the cars do you ever get to drive like an awesome car uh the fastest car i drove there was a dodge viper oh vipes yeah that was the fastest what was the most furious a lot of dodge trucks okay was this a dodge lot no it was a kia lot but they sold a lot of Dodge trucks. Okay. Was this a Dodge lot? No, it was a Kia lot, but they sold a lot of Dodge trucks. They had Dodge trucks in the back. They were, don't tell anyone. The store was in Langley,

so they just sold trucks. Uh, okay. So that's a car. Number two, number three. I got a, a Mitsubishi Lancer.

Ooh, that's a good car. You know, you'll love Mitsubishi. They got a 16 year warranty. Yeah. And I was a big fan of their, their race car, like rally a good car. You know, you'll love Mitsubishi. They got a 16-year warranty. Yeah, and I was a big fan of their race car, their rally car. But we couldn't get those in Canada, so I got just the base model. Now, I used to work on a TV show about the Canadian rally car championships.

And it was a lot of Subarus, a lot of Mitsubishis. And the guy who won it all every year was uh drove a hyundai yeah the hyundai elantra guy i know pat richard is the subaru the big subaru guy oh yeah i love this i love this antoine lestage was the hyundai guy and uh you know andrew comrie picard drove uh your mitsubishi i don't think it was a lancer was it a lancer uh it probably was yeah because it was the their rally car that they had probably brought up especially for racing oh yeah they probably did that so what uh for uh you know i know what a rally car is for sure but maybe people out there don't know what a rally car is. You can explain. Rally cars are like, they're usually four-wheel drive,

small sedans that drive around on dirt roads. Second question, what is a sedan? A four-door. Okay, okay, so it's the number of doors, okay. So what's a two-door then? A coupe. Two-door's a coupe. Okay, all right, good, I'm learning.

I mean, I knew this stuff, but there's a real door. You know what else is a two door? Henry VIII. You know what's a four door? I don't know. No, I had one. Something about Lord of the Rings? I was thinking of Hodor

he's that guy from Game of Thrones what's got the big dick I thought that was the mountain I mean we could do probably after we go through your cars let's bring the dicks in Game of Thrones oh absolutely those are my two favorite things to talk about cars and let's break the dicks in Game of Thrones. Oh, absolutely.

Those are my two favorite things to talk about. Cars and who's got the biggest dick. Apparently Vin Diesel in the crossover Venn diagram. Huge. Oh, wow. Yeah, that's what I've heard. He's a real car boy. And according to a book that I read about a woman that was like a video vixen,

she said he was a very considerate lover. Yeah. Yeah. You keep saying that. You're bringing that up. Have you ever seen that video of him? He's this like, do like infomercials for toys,

but like at conventions, whatever that guy is called. A toy, a toy boy, not a boy toy, but there's a video of him on YouTube. There's demonstrating those Street Sharks toys. Oh, yeah.

Like the Street Shark, and this guy's gonna fight that guy. It was very fun to see. Was this before he was Vin Diesel, or was this post Vin Diesel? He was never not Vin Diesel, but this was before he was famous. Yeah. But still the same guy. And he was wearing like a little tracksuit, right?

Does that ring a bell? I think he was wearing at least like a cut-off shirt. Okay, well, I'm thinking of a different toy box. Okay, so car number three was the Mitsubishi Lancer. Car number four. Car number four. Wait, wait, what happened to the Mitsubishi Lancer? I traded it in for car number five. Okay.

Wait, what happened to four? Car number four, sorry. Car number four is, so i bought that first lancer because i couldn't get the race car one and then the race car one became legal in canada oh was that the rally art uh the evolution oh the mitsubishi evo the evo what what made it illegal dream car uh the front bumper didn't pass canadian crash standards can you imagine we do we we crash a little harder up here yeah yeah we nudge a lot of people out for parking spots and such that's such a weird reason not to have it my brother had a uh toyota van. Previa? Maybe not.

That sounds right. And he lived in Seattle and then he moved to Vancouver. And you're not allowed to have an American car in Canada. You have to convert it in some way or another. Yeah, you have to do a bunch of weird conversions if it didn't pass those bumper standards. Or there's headlights you have to change it was like yeah daytime running lights or um it was just like converting it from miles per hour to kilometers per hour on the odometer or for some reason it was going to cost way too much money so yeah it didn't happen it lives in america i never changed my odometer which was nice whenever i

drove my mom because you're like you're speeding i'm like i'm still going 60 i think you're thinking of a speedometer oh yeah speedometer because your mom's like oh weird it didn't take us very many kilometers to get there today actually these are miles yeah yeah it says that you should uh change your oil here every one of those um uh when you see there's like some people have cars that are from japan and they're on the other side there's like how do those pass inspection if they're not even on the right side of the vehicle those cars have to be at least 12 years old i believe it's better if they're older they need to get the lights um switched over they need to get a few things converted. Yeah, all that stuff has to get converted. But in Japan, there's a tax on old cars.

So if you have an older car, it's cheaper to just park it and get a new car. And they sell them over here. And they're like pretty good quality because they haven't been driven much. Ah, see, this is a I think we can really pick maddie's brain about all our burning car questions yeah it's it's car talk here guys call in we're not getting boy the the phone lines are dead they're dead but what have we told you out there that we're going to talk about ferraris next call it right now oh, oh, yoing. Okay, then you got rid of that in favor of, what was the decision to get the,

someone's going to write a bad review of this episode. They're just talking to this guy about his cars. What's your favorite movie? Well, you'll be surprised. What's your favorite ride at California Adventureia adventure um what is what was the decision to get the scooter uh i had no car for like six months and then the fan and like i was bored and i just wanted to like what happened to the around town what happened to the evo oh i sold it because i i once i started doing comedy more and i just never drove anymore and

i'm just gonna sell it to someone who will enjoy this car. Oh, sure. And then finally, you now have... Volkswagen. Oh, Volkswagen. Oh, sure. I figured it'd be my last gas car and my last manual car I'd ever get to own. So I was like...

Oh, wait. Along the way, was the Toyota the only automatic? Yeah. Okay. All right. So you're the only automatic? Yeah. Okay. So you're back to standards. Yes. Nice. Love it.

I missed that the most. That's why I wanted the car. Do you sing standards? Yes. In traffic, and I blast them. Yeah. When people talk about how someone could sing standards, or like, you know, oh, yeah, we're singing old standards. standards i don't know i can't come up with a sentence about it but um is it

ladies a tramp or something like that is that what what would you call a standard cole porter idea i just knew that you were making a music reference yeah yeah no i don't know either i'm just it's a term that i know but i couldn't tell you what a standard is is it something no that's like copyright free like camptown races or something like that is it a standard that because they mary had a little lamb and twinkle twinkle little star are all the same that's a standard abcd yeah you see uh a frank sinatra impersonator is gonna sing all the standards and then it's happy birthday etc um did you figure out what a standard is um well first we have to learn about the great american songbook i know uh wasn't like rod stewart he keeps putting out albums that are from the great

american songbook yankee doodle dandy the president songs yeah on wikipedia if you look up standards it's just rod stewart songs um so uh maddie you're a gearhead you're you're a huge fast and furious fan correct and you host you used to host a show uh at little mountain it was dallas it was called craft in the furious yes and the premise was we would play a fast and the furious movie and a panel of comics would just like talk over the movie and make fun of it and all that kind of business and the audience got to do crafts the whole time and i it was mostly a cross-stitching group because i do a lot of cross-stitch we talked a lot of cross-stitchers and they came across stitched while we did

our quote-unquote jokes i love it i love it what is uh is cross-stitching the one where uh you have like the fabric in a hoop yeah and you make little x's until it like they're like a design yeah uh you've done this a lot you've done a lot of this i'm a i'm an avid crafter as well this is a crafter and a car head and a craft boy this craft into a furious was made for only me and the audience uh attendance showed oh well yeah i mean so is every show this show is only made for the audience. But, okay, so you're a complicated guy, Matty. You're a carboy cross-stitcher.

I don't know if there's too many of these guys. Yeah, and then you're like a big tattoo man as well. Or tattoo boy, sorry. Tat daddy. You're a tat daddy yes thank you i got a lot i got even more during the pandemic so it was like what like really throwing down what uh because i don't know like what's in fashion tattoo wise i feel like there was a while where people were getting like the sailor jerry like an anchor or you know a lightning bolt or something like that that's still very popular like it's like a

traditional style they call it right and do you have any of those or are you just like more artistic style I have one as a joke I wanted a Simpsons I have a Simpsons version of a like an anchor and squid it's the Bart anchor from the monorail

and the squid uh from when they go to japan that's gutting himself yeah think harder homer yeah um what is your current tattoo count uh eight eight okay let's go let's go through your top tattoos no we're not doing that again do you guys have tattoos? no not that I know of there might be some on my back but yeah I do have like a pain in my back a fish tattoo

yeah that you know right above my butt like in the lower area. It feels like it's a moth. It feels like it's kind of. It feels like it says, like, hit it like a champ, and it's got two boxing gloves. The boxing gloves is what makes it. That's a tattoo.

One of those tattoo shows from the early 2000s. The Vegas one. I think a woman had that on her uh upper uh crotch um what was the first tattoo you got i got the leo symbol on my wrist when i was uh okay oh let's guess your birthday i want to say july 30th Dead on. Really? Yeah. Wow. Feels like you guys have known each other forever. You love. That's crazy. Well, I mean, I probably had 30 days to choose from.

Leo's going to August. I know. Dave knows astrology. Exactly. Look, you know, July is Cancer and Leo and August is Leo and the next guy. Yeah, who's the next guy?

Jeff. Yeah, Jeff. Jeff and then Brian. Cynthia and Tobin. I'm a Tobin rising. You're Tobin rising, yeah. I'm a Pisin rising you're Tobin rising yeah I'm a

Pisces surfing do you know any of your astrology other than your sign no like I don't know what a rise what rising is

I don't know what rising is I don't know what the house if you're in the house of yeah I don't know

what's in retrograde these days yeah it's a mercury based on instagram stories yeah it's generally mercury goes retrograde like all the freaking time get it together merc or is that a good thing we don't know maybe that's like oh yeah you made it you're in mercury top drawer retro is cool yeah retro is cool um you know what the whole astrology thing it's a lot of fun but there's some people that take it very seriously

so maybe I shouldn't say that it's a lot of fun because then they'll cast a spell on me yeah you got your tattooed on your wrist I had mine branded into my foot and hurt hurt for months do you guys hear did beat davidson brand himself

the like a brand done i could see that because he has a lot of tattoos and after a lot of tattoos you just end up doing weird stuff yeah like those crazy implants in your forehead that make it look like you're like a dragon person yeah that'd be the next logical. Didn't we, Graham and I were guests on another podcast where they were talking about how sumo wrestlers have like height requirements. Oh yeah. Like not just, not just weight requirements. And so there's sumo wrestlers who get like injections in their forehead to

get taller. Isn't that crazy? Your thoughts, Maddie. Yeah. I feel like as I'm losing more hair my forehead's already getting taller i don't want more of that it's also yeah it's that's the thing that's so cool about tall people is they could be totally bald on top and still never know yeah you'll never know

i'll never feel that unless you go to a convenience store and look at those it's like yeah is shack bald who knows no one it's unknowable yeah unless you know uh google maps was doing an aerial and he happened to be outside although every time like a tall person has to go through a door they get a duck so maybe catch up catch them in a doorway yeah that's how you get those tall folk yeah well i keep cashing them outside um how about that i wonder if shack's on google maps i wonder if he's thinking google maps is like here's shack his head's just sticking out of a chimney. Oh, man.

Would they blur out his face like they blur out the address? Yeah, but he's wearing his basketball uniform. Shaq on the back. The numbers blurred out, but it still says Shaq. Yeah. Man, you know what? Shaq, he's turned into a real fun television personality. I never knew he was so wacky.

Now he's up for wackiness all the time, I'd say. Oh, I think he always was. That he always was wacky? Well, yeah, he was always pretty fun. Not in the movie Blue Chips. I was about to say, he fun and blue chips we disagree uh about how he was portrayed you think it was a laugh a minute kind of situation i think he was uh pretty serious he was he was like the comic relief in blue chips he played he played a guy named neon the basketball kept bouncing out of bed

no but in the trailer for blue chips i feel like they have to tell him to like hey go easy and he's like oh sorry coach and he's like beating up a preschooler that's pretty good yeah yeah and then uh like has he been a cameo in a movie where it's kind of been like a fun? Yeah. The grownups too. Oh, really? Oh yeah. He's a police officer or something,

right? Yeah. He throws someone over a house. Isn't he like a real police officer? Like he got a badge. Yeah, he did. Yeah.

He got like a lot of jobs. That's true. And I bet he didn't even apply for that one. He just, but they gave him a gun and a badge and said, you know, the law is now yours you're in charge for now on shack man if they put him in a police academy and recorded that that's a

show yeah if if they did another police academy it would have track in it right did they make a tv show about steven seagal being a police officer like a reality show reality show that doesn't seem as fun though he thinks he takes things too seriously yeah he's very serious he's very uh he's he uh if you have time to kill uh check out clips of him when he was on saturday night live because uh man oh man there's a guy who doesn't uh doesn't take ribbing well um anyways what's your favorite fast and the furious and then we'll move on from cars i promise tokyo drift is that the third one yes nice and that one's not not like none of the characters are in it right that one's sort of like off in its own world there there's one character han

that was so beloved from tokyo drift that they that's why they made it go back in time because he dies at the end of tokyo drift spoiler alert sorry uh and they go back in time yeah so four five and six are before tokyo drift uh shit because they wanted that character have you seen all how many are there ten uh yeah nine and a half i don't know nine and a half have you seen them all yes graham have you how many have you seen i want to say that i've seen in the first one i've seen tokyo drift i've seen uh oh one of the ones that was at craft and the furious i can't remember i think we watched the first one together. Oh, yeah. So that's what I've seen. Okay.

How many have you seen? I fell asleep in the first one, and that's it. I was jet-lagged, though. But I do remember I worked with a guy who went to see it opening weekend because he was like, we've got to see Fast and the Furious before it gets banned. This movie is so dangerous,'s gonna get banned i remember uh past guest charlie demers he had a joke kind of right out of the gates when he was a stand-up that he said i went to the fast and furious and spoiler alert there were a lot of spoilers in the car and then pretty good pretty good um uh so maddie it's been a it's been a long weird couple of years uh how how have you fared what happened what was your favorite thing

that happened in the last while uh i started uh like a real adult relationship with someone oh oh wow is this your first no okay first uh asian person i've dated in my life which is uh probably some sort of internalized racism but i've gotten over it i think yeah yeah and that's important when taking on a new partner yeah you gotta not actively be sabotaging yourself so that's a fun fun new experience for me things are going great how long has that been happening it's coming up in a year oh good congratulations half a pandemic alone getting tattoos because they were the only people who would touch me well that's true if you do want somebody to touch, it's got to be a massage or a tattoo.

How did you meet this person? I met them through a friend at work. Oh, yeah. That's classic. I always wonder how people meet people. Yeah, that's cool. That's crazy. In person. A friend of work went on a

party trip to the bar and they saw each other i think that's how my brother met his wife gross how did you meet abby were you just in the same building as one another uh no we uh uh well okay we just we just met at college sure um but uh um that's about it but like if there was a michael j fox that had to go back and reunite you two when would this be the moment uh boy uh i was just i was like very charming all the time so you'd have to like screw up a lot of moments um but i was thinking like in high like because people use the apps everyone's on the app says swipe me you know swipe this swipe

that you know it's all about the apps now people love shoppers points etc yeah you gotta get your optimum club points at shoppers drug mart get a free perfume at the end of it yeah yeah exactly uh but i was in high school we did this thing in the school where it was like you fill in these like scantron sheets and it was for valentine's day and it was like they would

show you a list of who your best romantic match was in the school what the hell mine was the principal and you were like yes was in the school. What the hell? Mine was the principal. And you were like, yes. Yes.

He knows how to fuck. I do not. But it was, yeah, like I went, I don't think they probably do that kind of thing anymore, but it was, you know, they just give the kids the apps. That's right, yeah.

Get on Bumble or whatever. It's like Teen Bumble. Yeah. So, you know what? I haven't watched Euphoria, but I assume whatever they do on that show, they do in real life. I think they meet people through school. That seems like they don't meet anybody through a fun app or anything. It's school parties and on drugs.

Yeah, drugs, man. But those happened in my youth. Yeah, but... I'm told. Yeah, if you remember, you weren't really there, man. Maybe I was on drugs, and that's why i don't remember ever going to parties yes david that is correct um uh so you've met somebody you're dating somebody that's great that's fantastic

yeah where are they right now uh they're at their house okay yeah likely still now is their house somewhere up north where you know i can't see her is that the yeah yeah she's uh she lives in a different country uh yeah what do canadians do about their canadian imaginary yeah american oh they're from the north pole yeah they're real busy this time of year. They're going to make toys. Yeah, when is the down season for elves? Probably the week between Christmas and New Year's. And then, boom, they're back out.

Oh, boy. They love New Year's. They probably party hard. Yeah. You want to talk about somebody who fucks. Yeah. They're like the Andrew W. K's of festivity. Is there a better week of the year than that week between christmas and new year's let's talk about it no i mean the one oh because like canada day

we only get that day we don't get isn't what about the may 2 4 long weekend is that we just had it was that a better week than no we're not even. It's the best just because there's a lull where everybody feels like they've accomplished zero and they feel it their worst. But in a fun way, you're like, well, no one's doing anything, so it's all fine. I feel like as a kid, you're like, oh, this is a downer.

But as a grown-up, you're like, nothing's expected of me. There's nothing to accomplish. I could be drunk any time of day. It's rough. I'm doing a puzzle. Yeah. Man, you're right.

That week is the best week of the year. I can't think of another one. I feel like as a kid, Christmas, like the lead up to Christmas is so exciting. And then by like noon on Christmas, you're like, this sucks. And then you have a week of this sucks. Were you guys like a Christmas morning presents family? What were you? Because we were at Christmas Eve.

Oh, buddy. Christmas Day, we all just like did our own thing. Christmas Day was a nothing day. Christmas Day, you just... Okay, kids, smoke them if you got them. With whatever toys you had. Yeah. did our own thing christmas day was a nothing day christmas day you just good okay we can smoke them if you got them with whatever toys you had yeah uh we were a uh you can open one present before church family on christmas morning and then you have to go to church and then you have to go to your cousins for brunch and then torture and then after and then you come home oh well

people want to get changed out of their church clothes oh dad's got to check on the turkey uh you're we were a 1 p.m christmas uh present family 1 p.m jesus i would have lost my mind i mean i i got to open a calendar at my cousins usually so no complaintsples all year long. Ooh, la la. Yeah, why did they do a sexy principles calendar? They know your type, babe. But truly, like, inappropriate. Yes, truly inappropriate. But yes, also, why isn't there a principles of America calendar?

You can send them all to jail immediately. Yeah, that's true. Well, they should do it for that reason. Yeah, exactly. It's a sting. Oh, yeah. Who wants to sign up for this? Oh, all these guys are going to jail. Yeah. I do love that when it's

like, because that's happened in real life where they're like, come and collect your free thing and then all the people just show up and get arrested. I've only seen that on some since. Apparently, apparently it works like it, uh,

it's worked more than once. So I can see that criminals are dumb. Yeah. Criminal criminals. What is your, Hmm. What am I going to, what's a fun question to ask in this?

What would be the thing that would get you to pick like with the free thing that would get you to show up to show up to be arrested um yeah what would it be you know those things that you see sometimes where it's a circle and the person in it is like kind of strapped in like uh like a star and then it spins around there's like two things that spin around uh-huh that would be the one that I would want. Come get your astronaut. Are we riding the Gravitron? Yeah, the Gravitron, exactly. Come get your own Gravitron.

Do you at least get, I hope they let you at least have the ride before they take you out to jail for being a principal on a calendar. As they exit the ride, it's into the jail yeah exactly the principal has to go see an even more powerful principal you have to you actually have to go to the principal of the world's office

he wears a cloak right yeah imagine you had one that wore a cloak or a robe or something funny. Because principals just dress like a regular person. But it'd be funny if they had an affectation. Some sort of golden

bracelets. Mine had a limp. That's pretty good. A rugby injury. I don't even really understand what a principal does. I know they're the boss, but... Yeah.

I guess I don't know what any boss does, really. Yeah, they're all just like mulling about, usually. Yeah, I never spent any time with the principal. Like I remember in high school, like principal knew people's names and like, it was like friendly and like new, like people would say hi to the principal.

I just kept my head down. I don't want to fuck with his business. He doesn't want to fuck with mine. It's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was only new,

like the football team. That's all they cared about. Oh yeah. was the football team a big deal at your high school yeah it was a catholic school so the big thing was just football oh yeah sure like our our religion teacher slash social studies teacher was like an xbc lion cool just to be a coach what um uh what school did you go to holy cross oh yeah they're catholic as fuck um what uh was that a tier yeah how many like how many football teams are there there's not very many right i don't know like because like i don't know very many schools that had football teams. Did your school have one? Nope.

We mostly played other Catholic schools. Yeah. What was the team name? The Crusaders. Right on point. Let's just name our school team after a terrible holy war. Well, we're the Inquisisition so let's see uh did you play or no no no me neither tiny yeah yeah but then maybe you could fit through narrow you know no too small good danger they're crushed. Did the Catholic school have a cross-stitch team?

They had no cross-stitch team. I mean, they got crosses. Hopefully they had stitches. Yeah, they're halfway there. Any time you came close to the cross with sharp things, they're like, no, no, no, no. We don't like that. Bad memories. Yeah.

Did you have cheerleaders? Yeah. Yeah. My school had a football team and cheerleaders but i never went to a single game so i don't know who was who uh it wasn't like the captain of the football team was like the big shit at school sure i think it was still the guy who was stealing his dad's weed and selling it to us across the street from the school i think he was number one yeah our school is pretty small so like no one there was no like big timing from the the football team or the jocks or like even like the like the cool kids were all

like pretty straight a students all the nerds were dumb it would be so hard to steal your dad's weed now because he'd be like okay i'll sell you one puff of his vape yeah or you'd be like this weed's only good for making you sleep so don't do it before math uh yeah i mean that guy's weed was pretty questionable stuff it was not good and his dad must have been high all the time because otherwise he would notice that big chunks of his weed have gone missing but i had friends who were high all the time because otherwise he would notice that big chunks of his weave have gone missing but i had friends who were high all through high school yeah like every class like i was friends with the stoners i didn't do pot when i was a kid but you still hung out with them they were just the chill people in the catholic school sure i can't imagine what uh like if you were a rebel at a catholic school when they they're like big and reprimanding when you get

gets some kind of crazy punishment or am i just projecting onto a catholic school you're just imagining your catholic girls school fantasies a lot of nuns and like ruler whips on the hands yes yes we're wrapping on the knuckles and whatnot um uh yeah i did you play any sports not in high school no you play sports now I can play like a little tennis oh yeah yeah okay at it a little tennis you mean table tennis

Dave's a big tennis guy big love huge I think it would be great if they rolled like a table tennis court if they were doing a tiny version of a city that would be fun build it out from scale

that's the starting point that's the town square so it's basically almost the size of the world normally but just a little bit it So it's basically almost the size of the world normally, but just a little bit. It's a little, yeah, it's like a quarter of the size. You still need like a large building to put the model of the city

because it's so large. Like an airplane hangar. Yeah, an airplane hangar in space or whatever, something like that. In space. Have either of you guys ever wanted to be an astronaut or were you like space scared me yeah me too space scares the shit out of me i don't know why anybody would go up there seems like we're not supposed to you know with the no oxygen and such seems like that's a warning like hey what do you what do you people like oxygen nope we're going to space or the bottom

of the ocean oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't even hold your breath in space. Like, if you hold your breath, even if you could, like, you know... Shut up. Never mind, I don't know. Just got launched into space. Yeah, but even if you could hold your breath, like, even if you

had, like, you know, David Blaine capabilities of holding your breath for 20 minutes, you'd die. That's called magic. Yeah, if you had like you know david blaine capability to pull your breath for 20 minutes that's called magic yeah if you had magic powers even if you could hold your breath for 20 minutes you'd die yeah because you wouldn't you implode or something yeah you love uh your bodies love the atmosphere yeah uh but yeah i never wanted to be one uh because it scared the shit out of me same with the idea of being like a deep diver like you know, leagues under the sea or whatever.

No thanks. Just being trapped there terrifies me. I think I have claustrophobia. Yeah. I, yeah. I mean, I would if I was in that situation. Like, as I was going down, I'd probably be like, this is no problem, but then we're sitting on the ocean floor and be like, oh shit. How distracting can those fish be?

Did you say you think you have claustrophobia i think you can just self-diagnose yourself i get very terrified on planes and in small spaces oh yeah yeah you could just say you have claustrophobia you don't have to say you think yeah exactly you don't have to get a diagnosis well unless you want a prescription in which case you need an official diagnosis i feel like i should just so i can go on a plane what would they give what would the prescription be for claustrophobia? Big open spaces. Like an Ativan or something, just so I fall asleep.

I think I can go to a therapist to cure it. Yeah, exactly. They just put you in smaller and smaller boxes until the medication works. Yeah, like you're Maru the cat. works. Yeah, like your Maru the cat. Yeah, the Dave, are you claustrophobic?

Love closed spaces. Love closed spaces. No, I don't know that I'm specifically claustrophobic, but you know, if the t-shirt is too tight, I don't like trying to get my elbow out of it

that's pretty scary that's pretty much the same i wouldn't want to be buried alive in this shirt because it's all an extra barrier between getting out yeah gotta get out here now i gotta get out this goddamn shirt um was there am i wrong that there was a ryan reynolds film where the whole thing took place he was buried alive no you're not wrong seems like why would somebody want to watch that is the the ultimate question why would i mean to be up close with the sexiest man on earth good call good call yeah yeah that's not that's a problem that's the name of the movie you call this a problem um yeah it's for the cameraman in the coffin with him he wrote and directed it too

it's like yeah the only way we can shoot this where's everybody don't worry get in the box getting this double wide casket the movie is called buried yeah i don't uh i don't know if you have to see it um probably not if you're claustrophobic and also if you don't like ryan reynolds that's the only two things again was there a movie that also took place i guess it wasn't him but it took place in just all in an elevator yeah that was a what's his name m night yeah and it was like phone booth book movie too yeah oh yeah phone booth calling that rules yeah yeah too many trapped trapped in things movies not in oh panic room panic room bank room uh uh yeah these are all the kind of tight squeeze movies uh they make me so uncomfortable. I can't watch them.

You ever get that, you ever do that dot, dot, line, line, spider calling up your spine, tight-squeezed, cool breeze, now you got the shiveries? Yes. Yeah, yeah, that's a good movie. Never heard that before. You never heard now you got the shiveries? Well, I think we're going to, I'm optioning it for a movie. They're turning dot, dot, line, line into a movie. Well, how are they going to do it?

They call it the shiveries. It's a gritty reboot. Yeah. They love those. What's his name? Fucking Gene Simmons this week bought, you know, he bought like the sack with a dollar sign on it. Like that's, he's got that trademarked.

There's nobody else. No. What? He just bought it this week? No, he bought one that has Bitcoin symbol on it now. So if anybody wants... He already owned the sack with a dollar sign on it? Yeah, yeah.

Because he was like, who owns that? It's just a weird like cultural artifact and nobody has laid claim to it. Yeah, it's a cultural artifact. You can't own it. It's unownable. Well... Yeah, it's just a bag of money.

Talk to Gene and his lawyer. All those Looney Tunes cartoons are ruined. Yeah, look, I'm going to be walking around with a sack of dollars. A dollar sack. I think I just figured out my first tattoo. But do it like Gene Simmons specifically. Don't fuck around.

I'm going to put Bitcoin on my scrotum. Yeah. You can do one of each. Well, I do have the two scrotums um uh dave what's going on with you man uh not much the plural of scrotums is scrota i do have two scrota scrota is the secretary of the united states secretary chair um so uh not much is going on with me although i did watch an insane amount of movies this week for me for me normally the amount of movies i watch the number of movies i watch in a week zero yeah you're no richard roper you're I'm no Tony Danza. Hey, yo, Scott. I watched, guess, guess how many movies I watched.

I want to say that over the course of the last week, you watched four films. I'm going to go higher. I'm going to do prices right you and do five. You're both, you both underbid. It was six movies. Six movies. Holy shit. Six movies. Uh, Graham and I were on a podcast. I don't know when it's coming out.

We should have asked. Uh, Oh yeah. The Hollywood suite, the Hollywood suite podcast where we watched two, uh, Kung Fu movies, karate movies from 1985.

Yeah. Uh, that were Jim Kata and The Last Dragon. And if you've never seen The Last Dragon, a lot of fun. Gymkata, terrible. Just bad. They're both not any good.

But in addition, I watched four movies. I went to the movie theater. Okay. I saw this movie, Everything Everywhere All at Once. Have you seen this? Yes, I loved it I've heard it's good, I tried to go to it I'll tell you the story later

I don't want to spend my story on your story Every time I've heard people talk about it they've always been like, I won't say another word Oh, you haven't seen it oh I won't talk about it which made me think that it was there were like spoilers this movie is so weird it's impossible to spoil I know that originally they asked Jackie Chan to

star in it he said no well that doesn't spoil anything at all that's just a fun thing to think about it was like oh you really missed out on this insane movie the ultimate spoiler uh in my life was when i was going to go see uh the sixth sense and my mom called me like right before i was going to go see it and i said oh yeah i'm going to go see the sixth sense and she said oh yeah i saw that the other day. You should, just so you know, one of the characters is dead the whole time. You should know this going into the film. Well, she didn't know it was supposed to be a twist ending.

When the twist ending happened, she was like, oh, should I have known that? You'll enjoy it better if you knew the whole time. Yeah, yeah. So my, if I was going to spoil everything everywhere all at once, I would say, just so you know, it's a little bit random. It's a little bit random. Okay, say no more.

I'm going to watch it, though I tried and failed. I swear I'm going to. And then I watched, on television, I uh the 1990 horror film horror film suspense film misery oh misery so good i've never seen it before have you seen it i don't think i've seen this oh man this is like i love this movie i love misery uh how many times have you seen misery i've probably seen it like six or seven times I bet it's got Jimmy Conn Kathy Bates and it's a

Stephen King joint and if you don't know the plot James Conn is a writer who drives his car off the road and then is saved by a woman who lives in a remote cabin and let's just say they spend

some quality time together is the car okay though? no, sorry car boy that's why I didn't watch it, I was like I heard a car and let me tell you it's a Mustang oh boy, your heart just breaks for it

that was good I like that it's fun fun if you've never seen it maddie you should check it out if you can find it spooky i don't watch a lot of spooky movies no it's spooky it's psychological yeah yeah it's like that uh alfred hitchcock movie psychological yes the psychological man what you should know about misery is they're both alive the whole time yeah that'll help that's the big reveal at the end uh then uh i watched this movie called the truffle hunters this is about pigs this is a dog documentary about italian old italian men who go out into the forest and with their dogs and uh find truffles do they not use pigs anymore is that i guess not in this movie they don't

no is this this is a documentary this is a documentary it's very uh cozy it's it's very much uh about um just like uh men running away from their wives who want them to not go trouble hunting. It's a dangerous game. It's like Deadly Sketch. Yeah. One guy rolled his ankle once. There's one guy who had to go to the hospital because he was trouble hunting.

These guys are like 90 years old. And he got knocked over by a tree branch. Another guy is like, I'm not a tree branch another guy's like i'm not prevalent anymore uh someone's poisoning dogs i love my dogs too much someone keeps putting poison out for dogs dogs love poison try and keep them away they love it yeah um garbage and poison yeah so what to what end do they eat the truffles or do they sell them? Yeah, they generally sell them. And then it also goes into the guy who's like, you know, there's like truffle. Truffles are like, I don't know if I've ever seen one in person.

I've had their essence in some butter. Yeah, and I've also had things like fries that are called truffle fries. Yeah, that's the only things i can afford with truffle in it yeah yeah do you think it has any in it or do you think it's just like like chinese five spice like it's just a coverall yeah it's just like a general flavor yeah yeah like anyways neither of us have uh none of us have had a truffle yeah uh i assume that there's truffle in my truffle fries uh but they uh there's like these truffle auctions and they're like super fancy like you know like you would go to like a i don't know i don't know why there are guys of options

diamond auctions it's like a black market of truffles but then there is a black market there's guys like selling them like guy pulls a handkerchief full of truffles out of his pockets and is like what's this worth and the guy's like oh i can give you 500 euros if you say so i don't know what the market is right now yeah like you're looking for signs that he's like well 500 do or it's 500. Yeah. Or it's five. Maybe it's 5,000.

Are they making good money from this? Is it worth like foraging the woods for, for truffles? I don't know. I feel like they've, they're old men and they've already made their money and they're just addicted to the hunt. They just needed a task. Yeah.

Yeah. And the, the, the final movie I watched is uh stars uh kenneth branagh oh yes as detective poirot on a train the murder on the orion express murder choo-choo Choo, chabugi, woo, woo, trident gum. I've never seen it, nor read the book. Yeah, it's very unsatisfying. Because I think we're very used to detective stories now. And maybe 100 years ago, people were like, wow, you can solve a crime by looking at clues? And this was, I think we've seen all the crimes,

all the possible crimes at this point. And it was like watching and I was like, this was, you know, it looked cool. Yeah. Mustache is pretty big, but. Take us through. Have you seen or read this, Matty? No. Okay. But I didn't know like the idea of just like it's like i've

known like murder mysteries do these things where you can just go on a train and have a murder mystery like yeah oh yeah like your your office can go and have a murder mystery oh yeah sure yeah it's like that it's like an escape room that's how i imagine the movie is that's why i was like i don't want to watch this it's Detective Poirot, Kenneth Branagh is this guy who's like really good at detectiving he's got his like he's got a keen sense for knowing when things

are not right he walks into a room and he goes something smells suspicious it's a truffle look I found a truffle oh it's good give me some fries. I just took a big bite of it. That cost me $900.

It's like an apple. It's gross. I'm going to read for weeks. These are disgusting. The movie starts with a kid is bringing him two eggs and they're not exactly equal. And he's like, not good enough. Like a tennis player. Yeah.

Some kind of egg boy. So when he brings these eggs, are they just loose in his hand or are they in little silver cups? It loosens his hand. They're placed in cups and he like measures them but they're like not even close like give him a dozen eggs and just let him choose the ones that he thinks are the closest yeah but like now i've got to take all the eggs the raw eggs yeah so like yeah like a like when you go to a seafood restaurant you get to pick your own crab like these eggs good for you and then yeah hey oh that'd be good i would go in and there's a chicken coop in the restaurant full of eggs

you're like that one that just got pooed out that one that one i called it i called it that one's got still a feather stuck to it why is it still wet i mean use a napkin or something like tongs and then he meets uh he goes on the train but like it's a this huge cast of super famous people uh johnny depp and uh judy dench just jd the jds the jds uh jeff uh darlington yeah jeff daniels is in there drampton so who is it johnny Depp, Judi Dench Daisy Ridley Boy

Who else Is in this movie? What year is this movie from? 2017 But the fact that it's such a big cast Is like everyone gets five lines right which is fun i think for actors to just go in and do a day on set and have a nice snack and then away they go uh yeah and then johnny depp is killed and everyone's a suspect oh shit and they figure

out who it is i'm not gonna spoil it but But let's just say it's a little random. It was Johnny Depp the whole time. Johnny Depp was dead the whole time from the time he died. Not including the time he was alive. You guys, do you both see Knives Out? Yes.

I feel like that's like a more fun Poirot situation. Didn't that come out in 2017, he assumes? Yeah, probably. I think it was 2019. I feel like that was right before the Pando. I saw it in Winnipeg at a multiplex. Oh, okay.

Big shot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. One big shot and just somebody who's living his best life, really. Yeah, Knives Out was a lot of fun. Did they make a second one yet they're going to yeah yeah they're working on it just let them take their time okay maddie have a little patience i know you're revving your motor of your super movie franchise of choice comes out every year with a new one are there is there a new one on the way yeah

oh really yeah they're filming it right now vin diesel's posting on instagram a lot nice it's like check this out brie larson has joined the cast and jason momoa oh good okay good so they're doing the same thing just like load it with more stars jason momoa is the most just have one look actor that there ever was like he's never gonna be in a movie where he's like the chief executive officer of a motor company like he's always gonna be like a tough uh you know warrior guy from a different dimension or you know well he did baywatch for a while oh was he long-haired on baywatch no he was a short-haired young boy during then young boy

watch no he was a short haired young boy during then young boy young baywatch boy um always shirtless very dolphin-esque skin smooth smooth smooth gray um uh does he wear a funny hat pro no his mustache is what makes him funny mustache is funny okay yeah it's hat i mean everyone's it's like from the 30s so everyone's dressed all fucked up everybody's fucked up everybody's dressed like a fucking idiot um what's going on with you gra Graham? Well, speaking of going to the movie theaters. Okay. Here we go. I went to go see the movie that you saw. What is it called? Anything all the time.

Here we go. Check it out. Yeah. I know. How does it start? Is it everything all the time all at once? Everything everywhere all at once. I think.

Yeah. So went to the movie theater and like now you can pick your seats to go. And they were like, but, sir, that movie hasn't been out for 100 years. Yeah, I went to get a ticket to Train Drives Towards Camera. Scariest film of the year. But, yeah, I went, and went and you know you can pick your seats but you can't pick your friends noses what's that?

nevermind oh I heard I get it now but on the there was like two seats left and they were both awful so I was like oh okay i guess i'm not gonna yeah it was packed and it was a tuesday it was like cheap night so maybe that's why

but yeah it was absolutely packed on a tuesday so i was like oh i guess i'll just go see dr strange because i'm already here you didn't know what you were doing but like you didn't pre-book your seats no it was it was kind of a flight of fancy it It was like, hey, it's Tuesday, let's go. Let's go check it out. Old school, before you planned everything. Yeah, exactly. And you know what? It bites you in the ass if you don't.

So you went to see Doctor Strange. Yeah, which I think when I looked at the tickets, there were six people that had seats. And not many more filtered in after. I think, let's say, 15. I think there was 15 people in the audience. Had you seen the earlier one? No.

I don't... No, I've seen the Spider-Man's, and he's kind of in that. He kind of shows up in that. I fell asleep through his own movie a lot. I tried twice, and I fell asleep. I was like was like i give up he's not an interesting character he doesn't even have a fun curly mustache to kind of distract you from that and that outfit suits a fun mustache that's yes exactly if there's ever an outfit that definitely should have one uh he also has a cloak that's kind of like his buddy his cloak like goes around and fetches and stuff.

And, uh, so that's pretty good. But, uh, sitting in the theater, the whole, uh,

aisle of like rumble seats were open. Okay. So I was like, yeah, let's get a, let's get a free rumble seat. And it was in, uh,

it was in 3d as well. So, which I thought after about 10 minutes, I thought it was going to puke. Well, then, by all means, get in the Rumble seat. Loosen it all up. But here's something I didn't realize about the Rumble seat. Because I got in it, and they were showing coming attractions and ads, and it was vibrating.

It showed, like, these popcorn kernels that tell you to go out in the lobby and buy popcorn kernels. That was vibrating as they flew around. And I was like this is gonna be great and then it stopped because the computer knows that nobody paid for those seats yeah so they don't turn them on i'm surprised they let them run through the previous yeah i think it was just as like a real lesson to me i think it was they wanted me to think it was going to happen and then take it away from me which i i that's i totally understand that's what i had uh coming to me yeah but have you ever sat in those for real no you once it was relentless yeah i sat beside one uh watching a fast and the furious and that

was like good enough for me to like get enough of it but not too much of it yeah it's you feel it pretty good right beside it's also there were only two people in the whole theater in them so it was funny because you would just keep hearing their rumble seats going and seeing them like and so here's the thing i don't know know. Like Dr. Strange came out like two, three weeks ago or something. Oh, he came out.

Yeah. Him and his cloak. They're lovers. Um, he, uh, like he's not one of the more stellar characters, but I think one of the things they did to like juice the opening weekend is they

showed a secret scene from top gun maverick before the movie okay which i think if it was a full crowd of people who are like really hyped up on a friday night maybe that would have been cool like it wasn't a trailer it was just like a full scene from the movie and I think they advertised like go to Doctor Strange see this scene from the movie but when it's only 15 people it sucks it was the dumbest shit I've ever seen I never liked Tom Gunn but I was like this

sucks that we have to sit through this because it wasn't even a trailer it was just a scene where Tom Gunn's is that his name his name is tom guns did the rumble seats work for the top gun oh yeah hell yeah they were all no not for me for the a couple that they were the state yeah um but like i think it got a standing ovation at con or something i like top gun yeah or just that one scene people go crazy at con they're

like oh they got a people were walking out of a preview of one scene of top gun other people were standing omissions women were throwing their bras at the screen um i hear this top guns very good yeah but you should have seen that. But I think it's a very specific crowd. Maddie, do you like Top Gun? I didn't care about it. I was like, this is a weird jet movie. It's kind of funny. It's something later in life. Yeah, I never liked the first one, but I hear

the new one is like head and shoulders above it. Right. But it would have to be head and head of shoulders above it for me to be interested in this. You want two heads. Yes, I want two heads. I love that Tom Cruise does all this stuff in Mission Impossible. That's a lot of fun to see

this guy doing the actual stunts, so that's cool, but this jet thing, I was like, this stinks, man. This is, uh, I'm sure that I'm in the minority of people who say this sucks but it sucked i wish it wasn't in front of the movie and then the movie kind of sucked too all in all it was it was a failed trip yeah i mean did they try to like spice it up with like

uh the other cast like the other famous like you know the superheroes you care about oh yeah the thing about here's the thing about dr strange you would have have to have done your homework like you would have had to watch about 15 hours of film to understand what the fuck's going on well i love the marvel movies i'm always i'm into them i think it's cool i want more of them i don't think they uh i think i wish they were longer and i you don't think they peaked yet no i don't i'm glad that there's one every couple of weeks and i think that they're really the that i'm glad they don't make any other movies anymore yeah it's only marvel movies star wars movies and fast movies that's all the jet movie there's a jet movie in there trying to shake things up a little bit yeah look there's four more jet movies are any of these

movies about old guys trying to find uh mushrooms what if they showed a scene from that before dr it's just the slowest gentlest guys carlo's wife is yelling at him she doesn't want him to go out anymore oh boy everybody walked out because they wanted to see more of that yeah yeah where's that plague yeah um but anyways like you would have had to see movies and the entire tv series one division or something to understand what the hell was going on i don't know anything about one division i know about one direction. Okay. Yeah. Is that where Harry Styles is from? Yeah. He's from.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's doing, he's doing, he's making great strides in the music entertainment. Yeah. Good for him.

Doing a song with Shania. Pretty good. Yeah. He did one of Shania's songs with Shania. That's, you know, like if any of us here got to meet Shania Twain, that would be a,

that would be like in the highlights of your whole life. Yeah. I have a tattoo of Shania. Would I shania twain that would be a that would be like in the highlights of your whole life yeah i have a tattoo of shania would i show her would that be weird do you really have a tattoo of shania yes shania riva and dolly in the charlie's angels pose the three bigs three bigs of uh if you if you had a famous person tattooed on you would you show them if you ever met them yes um but mine's of dave so i've already shown him and he hates him yeah just hit it like a champ i'm wearing boxing gloves and your face just like um yeah i would i mean uh why it might as well when you're what else are you going to get this chance? Hey, I got this tattoo of you. Does it bother you? Is that too weird?

I can just see somebody going up to like Bob Newhart and be like, look at this. And he'd be like, huh. Kids, I guess. I guess with Shania Twain, you would say, does it impress you much? Yes. And she would say, no, nothing does. That doesn't impress me much. Yeah. So you're Dr. Strange. that doesn't impress them much yeah yeah so you're dr strange

that don't impress me much so you got the cloak but have you got the touch i saw the cloak the cloak does like tide commercials when i'm watching the on like the hockey advertisement yes it's very funny to see that why is this cloak doing an ad um because who paid for this marvel or tied i don't understand how commercials work no me neither i don't understand how anything works when it comes to behind the scenes stuff like i don't understand how they pick what color a ritz box is going to be like all that red it's going to be red but what kind of red the tantalizing one the one that makes you want crackers yeah but i don but I don't know this stuff and I just love the idea of meetings

where they're figuring this stuff out. That's why I love this commercial because I imagine just like the Tide guy and the Marvel guy. Mr. Tide and Mr. Marvel. Let's do this commercial together and shake hands. We've agreed to put aside our differences. We're going to make this

a historic ceasefire between Tide and Marvel. No longer will, you know, frickin' the Hulk be pelted by Tide pods. Yeah, you can finally get those purple shorts clean.

I don't even know if you wore purple shorts in the movies. I don't think so. Should we mosey over to some overheards oh might as well hi i'm dan mccoy i'm stewart wellington and i'm elliot calen and the three of us host the flop house it's a podcast where we watch a new bad movie and then we talk about it dan you say it's hosted by the three of us we've had a lot of great guest co-hosts like gillian flynn jamelle bowie john hodgman jessica, Jessica Williams, Wyatt Cenac, Joe Bob Briggs, Josh Gondelman, Roman Mars.

Yeah, and you said new movies, but what about the time we did Meatballs 2? Okay, okay, yeah. Sometimes we do older movies and sometimes we have guests, but mostly it's about us talking about like recent bad movies. And don't forget about the ones where I made you do a role-playing game where you played cartoon dogs. All right, yeah. Shouldn't a promo be a really simple explanation

about what our show's about? So, what's the show about, Dan? What's it about? What's it about? It's about friendship, all right? It's about our friendship and how we love each other. The Flophouse. It's a podcast mostly about bad movies on Maximum Fun.

Do you sometimes wonder whatever happened to the kids at your school who really loved Star Trek? You might remember a kid like me, the one who read the Star Trek novels and built Starship models. I also took music classes to avoid taking gym classes that required showering after, but I don't see what that really has to do with- Or a kid like me. I introduced myself to kids at my summer camp one year as Wesley. But when the school year started and some of those kids were in my new class,

I actually had to explain to my friends that I had tried to take on the identity of my favorite Star Trek character. The shame haunts me to this day. I'm sure some of those Star Trek fans from your childhood grew up to have interesting and productive lives, but we ended up being podcasters.

On The Greatest Discovery, you'll hear what happens to two lifelong Star Trek fans who didn't grow up to be great people. They just grew up to be people who love jokes as much as they love Trek. So listen to our new episodes every week on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Overheard. Overheard's a segment where, boy oh boy, there's a lot of good stuff out there. And it's bad if it just leaves somebody and it goes off into the ether and we don't get to enjoy it.

So if you do hear something or see something that is fantastic, send it to us so we can enjoy it. And we always like to start with the guest. Maddie, would you please? Sure. This one, it happened a while ago but i think about it all the time i was walking uh to kfc nice and starts good yep yep i figured if i walk to kfc it makes it less guilty for my body how long are you walking it's only like 10 minutes away it's not a big deal but i was walking there and i was like about to cross the street with this

other fella and then a car turned right in front of us on our walk light and like cut us off but i was walking there and i was like about to cross the street with this other fellow and then a car turned right in front of us on our walk light and like cut us off and the fellow i was with got real mad and he's like oh you idiot and then the car drove away and as we're crossing the street the guy just like mutters to himself oh i should have called him a fucking idiot you only get one shot at these things. That's, that's great. I've considered,

you know, yelling at people when I'm a pedestrian and it's just, it's too scary. They could stop their car and kill me. Yeah. I love yelling at a moving car or from a moving car i've never yelled from one but i do like i do like yelling at a car yesterday i saw one of those groups of uh cyclists and i was like i should yell something i was just walking the dog and it was

like 15 spandex people and i was thinking of yelling so i couldn't think first of all i couldn't think of anything to yell second of all i mean sure they they hadn't wronged me in any way yeah uh and yeah in that moment yeah and third like if they could clearly stop their bikes have good brakes they could stop it and 15 of them could kill me yeah they all came at you with their bikes yeah i've beat me to death with their clip-clot shoes. Stomp me. Clonk. I think it was Josh Stubbs that told me, it was like years and years ago, that somebody drove by and said like,

you know, fucking idiot in that wheelhouse. He just waved at them because he didn't know what else to do. So he went, hey. Okay, bye. he just waved at them because he didn't know what else to do so anyway okay bye um dave do you have an overheard i do it's an overseen i oversaw uh this uh well i was i was out in public oh already-oh. Already a bad sign. Yeah. I know, right? I'm a private person. Yeah.

Keep my family out of this. But I was out in public and I saw a, just a van, a work van with the name of a company on the side of it. And I just, the name of the company made me laugh. And the company's called Young Boy Drywall. See, there's still boy jobs available there's definitely boy jobs um yeah we're gonna send over somebody he's not gonna be able to do all the drywall only up to a certain height because he's a boy yeah sure he's very young he's very young but he's good he's very good a lot of the drywall boys uh wear those like stilt shoes anyway oh man drywall the ceiling what if you saw a bunch of drywall boys and they were a

gang and they were all standing on those stilts oh sure what if they were wearing stilt shoes on top of their cycling clip-clop shoes i mean really this would be the ultimate in things that i heard about today yeah and also what would you yell at them? You know, wet wall rules. Run away. Yeah, there's not a lot of people offering wet wall these days. They seem to just do the one kind of wall. Always dry.

We'll get back in fashion soon. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know, these things go in cycles. What's going on with you overheard wise, Graeme? Mine was courtesy of eating at a restaurant where they encourage you to eat fresh. Oh, okay, I know the one.

Restaurant day. Yes, yeah, I went into a dining room and that i think was my favorite uh kind of post pandemic thing was people especially at subway our dining room is now open you mean this place next to the pepsi museum oh did i tell you about the the popotron there was that on the podcast i think it rings a bell that they only had pepsi and water those were the two choices but could you mix them i like my pepsi week yeah um oh i'm to get a suicide. Half Pepsi, half water. There was an old gentleman with a walker.

I saw him trying to get in. I opened the door for him and he walked into the restaurant and he said, hey, everybody. And then after he ordered his sandwich, he sat in the corner. He started playing the harmonica and it was the best he's the best guy on the street he's really doing his own thing did he eat a sandwich? he was eating a cookie

I don't think he was eating a sandwich and you know what? the sandwich artist really liked the harmonica he was bopping his head to it do you ever get the cookies there? I have done but they're not good. Yeah. Right?

We can all agree, Subway cookies. Sometimes you just want a cookie. There's a Subway under my office. Oh, yeah. Like, in the same building. It's on the first floor. Sometimes I'll just pop down and get a cookie. Yeah.

But I'm like, I need a little treat. You deserve it. Yeah. I think it would be funny if they put a harmonica in his sandwich. Like that's why he has the harmonica. Yeah. Chomp, chomp.

I feel like he would slip it into his sub and be like, Oh, what's this? Yeah. Yeah. That's how he smuggles it in. He don't mind if I do. Playing standards. Classic. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, one of I do. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.

Plain standards. Classic. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, one of the standards. Oh, Susanna. The Great American Songbook. Now, we also have overheard sent in to us all from, you know, points all over the place.

Name a place. Houston. Totally. Liverpool. Houston, totally. Liverpool, for sure. Those are the two I get. But we've gotten them from both of those places. Ohio, we've got two from Ohio this week. What? Okay.

This is getting eerie. This is starting to get eerie. The first one comes from Brian in Columbus, Ohio. I was washing my hands in the employee restroom at a nursing home where I work. As a little morale boost, management had hung some handmade signs around the mirror. At the top was a big message that said, you are dot, dot, dot. And around the mirror were smaller notes finishing the sentence. Like, you are making a difference.

You are changing lives. You are amazing. And one of the signs completed the sentence as, you are making a difference you are changing lives you are amazing and one of the sides completed the sentence as you are on fire and in smaller handwriting someone else had added being on fire isn't a good thing i'm gonna have to disagree with your graffiti work there i figured there'd be more like zingzy ones zingzy like just like you are i don't know you're a bag of shit yeah yeah you're dumb i don't know i don't know what kind of work environment they have i guess very friendly very friendly you know they yeah they say you're dumb or you have toilet paper on your shoe you should check that you are washing your hands i hope

yeah so you've been told yeah you think everybody's gone back to not washing their hands again uh basically bathroom experiences in my office yes a lot of people have are not washing their hands anymore they've just done away with it as i am like i have i can feel when i haven't washed my hands after like an interaction yes yes yeah like and i can't do anything until i wash my hands yeah i especially like i imagine they're like in gloves and i like refuse to touch my face or like anything i want to yeah yeah i'm a glove guy i'm big i'm more of a they call me mr mittens around here because i'm a cute little cat uh this next one comes from danielle from twinsburg ohio over here the first one from

ohio that was the first one was from ohio this is the second one from okay okay all right so and i imagine the third person doesn't say from where but we can assume yeah yeah yeah name a third place where am i another third ohio city or has anyone said twinsburg yet nope columbus has been said twinsburg has said yeah yeah okay uh this is overheard from my works break room uh somebody saying she said she had a boob job i couldn't tell it was the flattest boob job i'd ever seen so i mean people want what they want exactly and uh who are you like to judge a reduction is a boob job still that's true ah there you go we got him on technicality i like it yeah sucker yeah you're uh you're johnny

on the spot i uh yeah right so you know what place they're still talking about their co-workers boobs that seems seems out of time right yeah yeah um but what if they work what if they work at a plastic surgeons and this is just like everybody's gossiping about oh and they're like that was a bad that was a bad job yeah um yeah this whole thing makes me uncomfortable i feel like i don't want to talk about someone else's workplace boob job no yeah me too and uh but i hope it went well and i salute you i stan you i uh if you got a boob job in the pandemic and just like you didn't tell anybody and you just came out and it's like, whoa. You're ready all over again.

And the doctor didn't wash his hands. And he left a bunch of COVID in your boobs. And this last one comes from Dana M. I was recently on a cross-country flight that offered free movies and TV entertainment. As we were getting seated i heard the couple behind me looking through the entertainment options the man asked are you going

to watch a movie on the plane and the woman responded they have boss baby so yeah cinema yeah it's met my requirements it's about if we've seen the second boss baby have you seen the first yeah is it the book is very good there's a book yeah the book is it's like about how babies are so demanding and uh but like the whole book is covered in like the first two minutes of the first movie that's why they had to make the second one well that's why they had to make the next 88 minutes of that movie but they were world they were world building in the baby boss the first one and now they've got the whole baby boss universe yeah i i got no beef with you boss baby uh but uh i don't know if alec baldwin's in the second one probably not let's take a moment and think about alec baldwin but I don't know if Alec Baldwin's in the second one. Probably not.

Let's take a moment and think about Alec Baldwin. Dave, do you have overheards from him? Yeah, I do. In addition to overheards that are written, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 hello my name is dean i'm calling from saskatoon in saskatchewan and i overheard

my six-year-old son telling his three-year-old sister a joke. Not sure if kids' jokes are allowed on here, but this one made me laugh. And here goes. It was, why did the butt with legs go to the library? Why? To take out a book about butts. Yeah. I buy that.

What else would a butt be reading about? The legs? Yeah. How did I get here? A lot of butts come with legs, though. That's true. Yeah, butts do generally come with legs. Yeah.

And what I'm picturing, is this a butt that has eyes on the front and a mouth and such? Or is it just a butt? I think a butt holds the mouth. Oh, God. Sorry, i couldn't hear you if you may uh spread them cheeks uh it's got the boxing gloves on yeah hit it like a champ okay fine next phone call hi dave graham and possible wonderful guests This is Natalie, I'm calling from Hamilton, Ontario, Canada

And my husband and I were just walking to a friend's house And just overheard something wonderful So there was a girl and a guy sitting on a porch And as we passed by we heard her She took a big drag of her cigarette and she said And he was an alcoholic and he was passive-aggressive and he had orange hair and he said my mom liked him more than me and he had a weird name okay well love you guys off i go a lot of red flags a lot of red flags but in fairness she, she was a raver, so she didn't know a lot of those things.

She didn't notice, yeah. What counts as a weird name for a red flag? Dragon. Dragon, sure. Unless he's from the, you know, former Yugoslavia. And he spells it with two A's. Dragon. Dragon.

Dragon. Yeah, I think dragon's a good one. I think somebody who's named themselves like, you know, Midas Auto Touch, something like that, named the self after. There was a movie that I watched last night, and one of the characters was named Dodge Caravan. What? What movie?

Old. Have you seen Old? Ohalan yeah there's a rapper in it and his name is dodge caravan so that's good it's good it's good it's certainly not bad i mean that's a good name for a person it's a good character in a movie yeah uh especially for like a rapper character yeah you gotta have a fun rapper i mean i feel like there's a lot of context we're missing but i bet it pays off it yeah i mean the whole thing the whole experience pays off at the end you're like whoa did you watch the whole thing i did yes oh graham how long was it it was an hour and a half oh that's good i'll see that yeah yeah it was it's an hour and a half it's not good i'll see that yeah yeah it was it's an hour and a half it's not thinky you could just watch it have it on the background you can miss a bunch of stuff

i never have things on in the background no people say that but like no i'm what am i what if i'm never in a room like if i'm gonna be in a room for uh 90 minutes i'm gonna sit down and watch a movie that makes sense i'm usually cross stitching and watching things I can fold laundry and watch something yeah but that's not the background I mean I guess I guess that's the foreground if I'm paying attention to it while folding

yeah sorry I questioned you well I guess I don't forgive you. Uh, it'll take a lot of time to work on this massive. Skizzle in our relationship.

Yeah. Well, and you know what? This is my time to just sit back and listen. Yes. Thank you. Good. Okay.

So I'm going to appreciate that. You can do one thing and enjoy that one task. Yeah. Yeah. Beautiful. I mean, no, I'm doing other stuff, but the movie's kind of on in the background. Okay, final one. Hi, Graham and Dave and possible or impossible guest.

This is Karen in New York. I was substitute teaching for second grade and a little boy came up to me and said, did you know Snoop Dogg is 52? I didn't. He's actually 50, but whatever. And said, oh. And he said, that means he has 48 more years if everything goes well. 48 more years until what? I asked. Well, unless he gets bitten by a black widow spider twice, which no one can survive, he will live until 100, and 52 and 48 is 100. That's true, I said. But can't people live further than 100? Yes, he said.

My great-grandmother lived until 102. That's really old. I said, yes, it is, and asked if she had gotten bitten by a black widow spider. He said, no, I don't think so. Obviously not twice. And then it just cuts off. Oh no! We got plenty.

Why does a kid know who Snoop Dogg is, first and foremost? What entertainment property is he a part of that kids would know? He did the Super Bowl recently. That's true. The whole gang. And I see him in commercials for Lighters

with Martha Stewart. Yeah, and maybe he was also in a soap commercial or something. Yeah, he had a game show for a while. It was a redo of... Joker's Wild. Jokers Wild. I thought it would be more like Stoner based. No, he doesn't necessarily do things that are on brand

for him he'll just do whatever people are saying i think we can get snoop dogg get him get him boys get him talent bookers gonna get him yeah it's true but we'd have i don't know we we don't we're not a drug podcast honestly it was hard to even get maddie voo um the uh 50 cent's gonna be here and we're gonna talk about all those bullet holes i think it must be so weird to be a substitute teacher to just like go and meet a new group of kids and have them be weird in front of you and then it's bye and be they like trust you as a authority they just tell you some weird stories yeah they know you're not like a full authority but they don't know how far your power goes yeah exactly and uh somebody there's always one kid that has a an elder sibling that's

like check it out we can do this we could all sit in our chairs backwards when she comes in the room uh we could all just not talk the whole time she's here but they have to have so like imagine like yeah just like going up hey i've never met any of you before i'm in charge of you for the next six hours but that's it yeah no more no less um well i think that brings us to the end of this episode uh Maddie thank you so much for being our guest this has been a pledge thanks for having me it is a delight to be here this podcast is one of the reasons I even do stand up

so I'm happy to be here you're welcome well that means a lot yeah it means a lot to Dave Graham told me off air he doesn't care yeah it's another thing I gotta win back Dave's trust on this because now he's scheming in the background he's pulling mad schemes um and people want to see you uh do stand

up here in canada anyways you can see you on cbc gem and uh do you have any like an instagram or something people can check out or is are media is the Maddie Vue, the Maddie Vue, the one and only the Maddie Vue. Sounds like a dance. It does. Let's everybody do the Maddie Vue. Everyone on the floor for the Maddie Vue.

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uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I'm a good.. I'm a good. I'm a good. I they're short and tall round and stick like uh these are the these are the people that love this show uh we love you and come on back next week for another episode of stop by guess yourself MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture. Artist owned. Audience supported.