Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 744 - Paul Anthony

Episode Date: June 21, 2022

Paul Anthony returns to talk Daniel Day Lewis, power washing, and car washing.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 744 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who, boy oh boy, what can I say about this man? There's so many things to say about this man. But I will say, I'll pick one and I'll say that he's just a really good man. Mr. Dave Shumka.

A good man. Here lies a good man. Yes. Boy, 1980 to 2026. Oh, 2026! Yeah, I think that sounds like a good run for a good man. Yeah.

It'll be post the next insurrection whenever that happens. Oh, boy, that's a few insurrections from that. Hey, guys, I've been having trouble with my insurrection. Should I be

taking Viagra? You should be taking a generic, Dave. Don't pay for the big label. Oh, sure. Yeah.

Just the stuff they sell by the checkout at the gas station? Yes. Yeah, exactly. We're in gas station bathrooms in the

slot machine. Yeah, okay. Oh, man bathrooms in the slot machine. Yeah, okay. Oh, man. Do you think that anybody's bought that fake cologne in a bathroom? Fake cologne? You mean off-brand cologne? Yeah. Off-brand cologne.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no such thing as fake cologne. Fake cologne would be like spraying yellow water on yourself. fake alone would be like spraying yellow water on yourself our guest today, a returning guest to the podcast, you can see him each and every month at the Rio Theater as the host

of the hilarious and unique and one of a kind talent time, it's Paul Anthony hello Paul with your classic crazy voice uh paul have you ever do you wear any cologne no god no no i'm not a big fan of scents yeah yeah same here i think the last time i wore cologne was let's say grade 12 i think grade 12 is the high watermark of cologne do you ever do you ever smell a guy

and you're like oh this guy smells good i should wear cologne yeah i do especially on elevators when i could really smell i really get my head clouded by the cologne i like it i hate when people say like you smell good to someone else when they just smell really strong because i don't think it's they just feel like they have to say something and they don't want to be mean yeah and then they just put on more and more and more oh i got a lot of compliments yeah people are always like oh you smell really good and i'm like yeah i spilled a shamrock shake on my pants just put a little dab of shamrock shake behind each ear just throw it in the air and kind of walk around uh do we want to get to know us yes get to know us paul uh you've got the best background in the biz right now looks like we're uh talking to you from a blockbuster video no no it's a mom and pop

cool this is a mom and pop okay you've got uh vhs you've got dvd and then you've got like a giant poster that says now playing yeah what is what is now playing oh this is a computer beach party so it's a couple kissing and there's a computer on the beach yeah is that is that uh did you get that sort of marquee poster frame from movie theater did you have that specially made custom made i went crazy over this pandemic and just like doing shit to my place and getting i got a bunch of custom like furniture and stuff i got these shelves built in the marquee then i had another friend working on like uh like uh like an entertainment system that has like the record player that like slides out and then all these all these drawers for records and it's all alphabetized

and all the things that last time morgan brayton was on she was talking about some weird furniture so like 70s record furniture she got that she couldn't even get through a door yeah yeah like does this stuff these record entertainers does it come in collapsed and then you put it together or is it built in your place so that you can never he basically built it he basically built it before it came in and then put some finishing touches um now you have so many vhs's behind you do you like and they don't make vhs players anymore i don't think no uh so do you have imagine if they did but can you still find vhs players in like every thrift shop yeah yeah yeah yeah so you don't need to like a couple stock up okay. I got like four in the closet.

Okay, there we go. So you can do your own dubbing. You can make your own mixed videos. Yeah. Put Paramount out of business. I think they were afraid of that. And you got to put a little piece of scotch tape over the little indentation on the VHS so you can copy it.

Yeah, your episodes of Elf. Oh yeah, right here. It's on the fourth rung. What's your system? Is it organized by alphabet? By elf. Yeah.

These tapes are all elf. A little bit. You know, like when he was on Johnny Carson and stuff. Yeah, I wonder how Johnny Carson felt about that that do you think that was kind of at the near the end where he's like i gotta get out he guest hosted i think oh yeah it was joan rivers jleno and alph yeah the big three a lot of people thought alph was gonna take over yeah he was retired and then when

elf got his own show johnny never talked to him that's right yeah they really let that out of the late shift they really cut that out it would have been a good moment watching alphide in the closet yeah they kind of dropped that bit yeah so like uh maybe people don't know, but famously Jay Leno hid in the closet at an NBC meeting to get. What is he getting, like dirt on somebody? Or what was that serving him? He just wanted to know if he was getting the job. But you remember at the beginning of ALF, the girls hiding in the closet talking on the phone. That's right.

That's where he got the idea during. Because he had to do it every. People don't know this. He had to do it every show. Before the, because he had to do it every, people don't know this, he had to do it every show before the show, they had to do the intro. Oh, before Al? Yeah, yeah, they didn't record it, they didn't think about it.

They did it live every time. He did it so many times. That would be great. Oh. I think that would be great if shows had to do that. They had to re, re. Like their friends are all in the fountain every day. Time to get back in the fountain

that's why uh what was it dig van dyke only tripped over the thing sometimes is because sometimes he was sober and could do the show yeah oh was he uh was he a drinker i don't know he looks like it um yes let's uh slander this old man. Yeah, yeah. He's got to be the epitome of, like, Sprite old man. He still dances around and has, like, a kid that's seven or something. Oh, gross. Yeah. Yeah, I have a kid that's seven. Well, if you ever run into Dick Van Dyke, you'll have a man.

You'll have a way to pray for the eyes. Wearing a baby Bjorn on his old bones. But those old guys, like, they can come to life. But, like, when you're not looking at them, they're just absolutely dead. Like, the energy it takes to just sit upright and smile. Yeah. Like, when I met Leslie leslie nielsen like close to the end of his life it was like that he was just like i was like oh boy i i think he might be

not with us anymore and then he like oh he was shaking my hand and did the fart thing like he was just yeah they can come alive you know he had a fart machine or something. Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. Leslie Nielsen did a weird thing where he was a serious actor. Then he was in movies, funny movies, but it was because he was a serious actor that it was good that he was in these movies. Right. And then he got progressive sillier over time. And then it was like him and Dracula dead and loving it.

It was like, woo, woo, woo. Right. Yeah, he's like the opposite of jim carrey john c riley has kind of done that john c riley can do it all he really can yeah he's he's the tops in my opinion um yeah there's but there's like a lot i don't know if there's so many actors that do the, go from being very silly to very serious? No. You're Adam Sandler, so he can hand in that. But Adam Sandler did serious like twice. Well, he's got a new one coming out. All he did in that Gems was just not go,

like just not do his comedy voice. That's all he did. And everyone's like, genius. They put funny teeth on him and they're like, can you believe how great Adam Sandler is? He didn't once go. I don't remember what his thing was but it was a weird sound you got it you nailed it graham come on don't embarrass paul do your adam's yeah please graham ladies are you sure that was his yeah

I read a book about somebody who used to work for just for laughs when it was first starting and they had George Burns on and he was the same he said it was like a puppet like that he was just sitting like head down and then as soon as the spotlight turned on

he was like that's adam's island say good night crazy uh yeah uh uh paul so you you are uh every month you do this show you put together this show different show every month. Different span of talents. You'll have a youth band, and then you'll have some kind of weird musician from somewhere, and you'll have a hypnotist. What in the past year has been the tops?

What has been the best things? And when did you bring the show back after the shutdown september so we basically just lost a year we we but we played season 13 the season that didn't happen we we went back into the rio once they opened and we shot a bunch of mock shows so we could put out like a mock season of like oh yeah so this is this is a live show and a tv show yeah to make it look like i was just in the theater by myself through the pandemic entertaining nobody right we did like a prank show with the janitor and like so season 13 was all just like it was yeah it was just like slow and hard to watch. I build a version of Ryan Beal, my co-host.

I build him out of burritos. This is good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That kind of stuff. But yeah, we just closed down season 14. And it started kind of soft with the first episode back. We did like a... Because theio turned themselves into a sports bar so that they could still stay open so we did an episode where it was kind of still a sports bar we were chasing out the sports

bar people and uh you know then i had someone come in and teach me how to shoot darts so it was kind of like uh oh it was yeah so for people not from this area there was a weird uh uh during the pandemic which sure uh i've used the past tense but okay uh but uh they they wouldn't allow movie theaters to be open but they did allow sports bars to be open. So the movie theater became a sports bar. Yeah. They would show sports on the big screen and also sell beer. Yeah. Yeah.

It was, uh, it was pretty brilliant. It was, uh, it was a good pivot. Yeah. Um,

and then you went, so you got back to live shows in September and what was the first, what was the very first act when you came back? Oh, I think it was the darts thing it was just like it was just all this like sports stuff the sports bar stuff i was trying to chase it away from the show but then right it got better for oh halloween was pretty fun because um i dropped from the ceiling uh uh, dressed as a spider. There you go. It's a 40 foot seat, a 40 foot, 40 foot ceiling. So like,

how do you do that? How do you, what, what is going on? Are you coming down on silks or? No, no. First I gotta go,

um, learn how to do it, take classes. But basically, uh, it's like a giant rope that you can, you can, uh, you can just fall down from the ceiling on. Like, do you rappel down it?

Yeah, yeah. There was a guy, part of it, I was doing it, and sometimes he would do it. Is it like mountain climbing gear? I guess so, but that's what they do, aerial stuff. It was from the underground circus. Cool. So, I set it up like when I walk out on stage, there was just two people holding like a white sheet. So, it looked like I was hiding my costume, you know?

But then the last second, they throw the sheet over my head and no one can see the black rope that fell down and they hooked me up onto it. So, then all of a sudden i shoot up into the sky and i'm uh i'm a ghost so i'm like i welcome everybody and then this band plays and then later brian comes out and he reveals me by pulling off the uh uh pulling off the sheet and i'm a spider and i drop from the ceiling and then i was a spider the rest of the show that's pretty great i mean you got a hats off to you for your commitment yeah your commitment was uh and like when you make the show you go all around town like scouting weird talent yeah it was it must have been hard to do that with everything shut yes definitely it was

yeah it was hard there was no shows to pull people from so i was either going back into the catalog bringing people back or or doing stuff that involved like very few people do people find you like are there people who are like i've heard you have this show let me on the show anyone who finds me is i'm not interested in generally, not like, not like I like the chase, but it's usually a 20 year old with a guitar. It was like,

I've written some songs. I'm like, yeah, that's not, that's not the right kind of show. Yeah. Well, are you afraid for,

you know, coming down from the ceiling, singing those songs? Cause then now we got, yeah. And then once we cut a hole out in the ceiling then became a new character in the show the party hole so that uh balloons and champagne and everything can come out of the hole for the rest of the season that's pretty good which i caught catch my you know get

party hole give me some celebratory liquid and then champagne from 40 feet right into my mouth you know really yeah was it champagne no we just used water so it'd be less yeah yeah i know it's just one of these yeah it's showbiz stuff these secrets a lot of like like when they uh take a picture of a big mac and uh for a print ad that's right it's just uh you know it's like a... I don't know what it is. But, like, I saw a video of all those things. You know when you see, like, a lemon bursting through water when they're, like, advertising some sort of juice? Have you seen the video of them filming those things?

No. Oh, that sounds great. Yeah, so there's, like, it's all done really. Like, it's not computer generated. So they have the water pouring down. They just keep throwing lemons through it and then slowing down the picture. I feel like every, like, light news magazine on TV, they would do a segment on that kind of thing once a week. It would be, like, either the people taking, you know, pictures of ice cream for an ice cream commercial.

They actually use Crisco for mashed potatoes. A Foley artist. Yeah. Those are my favorite parts of it. There's a town near us called Victoria. And they have a local news channel. And it's that all the time.'ve always got like one human interest story at the end

and you know like you know when it's signing off it's kind of well that's been the day also the bagpipe convention in town this weekend yeah so like you you do the show live it also is on television where is it on television well we were on prime for amazon prime for uh three years but uh yeah i i never really did anything to get new eyeballs on it or anything and then just not enough people watched it so

they just pulled it during the pandemic i found out i was trying to impress someone they're like this isn't on here no no it is i'm like oh it's not let's watch old evening of the improvs yeah i love that they just don't even tell you oh yeah by the way you're not on anymore no they needed that bandwidth yeah that's right. Jeff Bezos can't afford to go to space because he's paying Paul. Last time you were on our show, I believe we talked about how you were in the Spalville sex cult. Oh, yeah. Before it was a sex cult. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I always thought it sounded like so much fun. But then I realized that the people joining didn't know that what they were joining was a sex cult. So, yeah, that's a completely different thing than I was imagining. So I can only apologize to those people.

But you and you were famously, you're the only person to ever get your money back. Yeah. Yeah. I've heard that. A cult. You want to get that? No, I'm sorry. The telethon is beginning and we got callers.

And then in the, this was like, maybe it wasn't called NXIVM at the time. Yeah, it was. Yeah. But in the years since, it's become like a very famous bad cult. Is it still, are they still together or? No, they're in jail. They're all in jail. So there's nobody on the outside keeping the flame alive.

It's, it's done. I think it's done. I don't know, Paul. What do you think? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. You don't keep in touch with the cult?

No, no. I don't know You don't keep in touch with the cult? No No I talked to Sarah Edmondson Right before The Vow came out And then Yeah

The woman that From Vancouver That worked for Vice That was putting the book together I talked to her Okay Have you read that book? No

No I didn't I didn't see the movie either Is it good? Oh it was a There were two documentary series on it. Yeah. And plenty of podcasts.

Yeah, people love a cult. But I kind of think we were the original. Yeah, we got in on the ground floor. We're kind of like my favorite cults or cool cults or whatever you want to call our show. Yeah, I don't listen to the true crime stuff. I find it kind of... my favorite cults or cool cults or whatever you want to call our show. Yeah. I don't listen to the true crime stuff. I find it kind of grisly, but I feel like a cult I can get into because nobody dies a lot of time.

Well, maybe some people die. I don't know. I don't know. I'm not a cult. Yeah. No, they're pretty bad.

Yeah. The thing I didn't like about the vow was just they made uh the mark vicente guy to be like a kind of like a hero when like he was the guy who booted me out because i because i was like watching him be super creepy with girls you know right that's that's why i don't like that guy was yeah a complete shithead to me and boy yeah how do you cover up that amount of time when you're putting in a resume somewhere and they're like well there's a gap of time here where you seem to be it's gonna be working very much oh not true not true i was uh tilling the soil for a cult yeah uh we were playing 3 a.m volleyball i ever heard of it yeah what is 3 a.m volleyball

is that part oh well that's okay oh these people they make a pilgrimage to rochester new york and where the leader albany lives albany sorry uh to the where the leader of the cult is and uh one of the he goes on a lot of walks and plays volleyball in the middle of the night which is a weird uh he dresses like david foster wallace so he has a bandana and uh circle glasses and volleyball is a weird choice for him because he's he's a short king oh yeah yeah yeah but maybe he's got a real good serve you know like yeah he's keeping him at the back there but uh to me that's the perfect nighttime sport it wakes everybody up it's super aggressive i mean any sport would though right

yeah three in the morning sure yeah anytime you can bounce something off your head i think it's a good wake up call yeah exactly not enough people in my neighborhood play sports in the middle of the night sometimes there's a kid that'll do some basketball around 10pm or like hear someone practicing skateboard

I guess my hats are off to anybody who practiced skateboard to the point that you can do a trick. It's hard, man. Did you ever skateboard, Paul? Oh, yeah. And I quit.

I mean, the way I learned how to do tricks was skipping school. And then I wrote a movie about it called Paul Learns to Skate that we shot on video. Nice. Yeah, it's like 15 minutes long. I should really digitize that one. It was pretty fun. You still have it? Yeah.

Nice. Amazon Prime's looking for content. For some reason, though, I was like dancing to Taylor Dayne's Tell Somebody at the beginning of the movie, and my dad's taping, and he's backwards and he trips and it's just like, but it was just like, you can't go back. I don't know why we never thought of it.

It's just like, Oh yeah. Okay. Well just cause everything was edited like in the camera. So yeah. Oh, well, yeah.

Right. Uh, what do, what tricks could you do? I mean, you know, um, Ollie's and kickflips and like not nothing to, what tricks could you do? I mean you know ollies and kickflips

and like nothing too nothing too crazy I don't even think I could ollie I had a skateboard for years and I don't even think I ever mastered the ollie which is the fundamental building block of every other trick it seems except going forward

that's the one I could do pushing the skateboard forward yeah i could do sitting on it and rolling a little bit i did maybe on my knees maybe i i love the sound of it so much because it just like to me it was like that was freedom was like leaving the house and just getting on my board and skating so like i like, I love that sound. And down here, I think I hear it a lot, and I'll look out the window, and it'll be, like, police on a horse. I'm just like, oh, no. They're doing tricks on the horse.

Yeah. The horse is on a skateboard, though. Two skateboards. You live in a part of the city that it seems like it's just you living there and uh and everybody else is just empty empty condos and whatnot yeah it's quiet as hell yet it's like right downtown it's very odd and people are walking on the seawall but they're all people like they're all visitors with with like uh with like just taking selfies and so yeah kind of feel like you're on vacation like you do you have a local

like a grocery store down there that you're the only person at the grocery store or is it there's like an urban fair by me and it's so stupid it's just it's wildly expensive for no reason like they could sell a cellophane wrapping oh it's on their apples and they're like there'll be someone like in the like playing violin and the vegetable i did see the guy from why are they trying to get on your show yeah yeah exactly i did see the guy that owns Boston Pizza in there. He lives across the street, that guy. Tree living? Yeah.

Oh, wow. You want to speak about somebody who's fallen asleep. Boy, there was a lot of episodes of Dragon's Den where I'm like, I think Jim doesn't have much to say because he's nodded off in the corner. You were on our Dragon's Den episode. That's right. And I pitched a service where I would go into a restaurant that was your competitor restaurant. And I would eat in the restaurant. People would be like, ew, gross.

He eats here. I'm going to the other restaurant across the street. That was my service, which I still think would be, if I ever get a chance to be on Dragon's Den or Shark Tank. Yes, yes. But wherever Kevin O'Leary goes, I follow. He's cool. He's an awesome guy. He's wonderful.

He's wonderful. Don't follow him on a boat. Why? Hey, come on. Come on, give him a break. His wife was boating. His wife was the pilot. All right.

Oh, boy. his wife was boating his wife was the pilot all right oh boy um and you uh while you're you're uh you're not your father you've been a father for how many years eight she's yeah eight and a half now she's yeah crazy she your daughter she's cool she's uh she's rainbow rainbow hair yeah no no doesn't skateboard she doesn't want to ride a bike it's been it's terrible because she's eight and a half and she has a bike that has training wheels on it and we're like okay you know it's time to take them off and and learn to and she's like well i'm gonna fall down do you want me to fall down you want me to hurt myself and i'm like oh i'm sorry i'm yeah i guess it's silly never mind that's a good excuse to get out of sports about of everything ever yeah yeah

you want me to hurt myself you want this to be uncomfortable at all do you remember when you learned how to ride a bike assuming you do know how to ride a bike thank you for not thank you for not assuming yeah i appreciate that um i just remember being i remember being embarrassed of my bike it was like spray painted it was a real shit bike and then my dad tried to like spruce it up by like spray painting it silver with like stars on it and it just looked like a a bike that you'd find on like when the snow melted there's always bikes on our lawn just because we lived by a we lived by a like by a bus stop so in winnipeg and every year after it thawed there'd just be a couple bikes laying on our lawn so that would be how we got new bikes nice yeah and your dad who seems like he's in on the ground floor of a lot of creative projects yeah it's true he like when

we did uh air bands when we were kids like he took plywood and made uh like uh guitars and stuff for us and like put like flames and like lightning bolts on them and stuff and air band is is that a like i most people just talk like say lip syncing but like i know it as an air band i grew up calling it an air band but i don't think people call it that anymore was it a canadian i don't think people really do it oh sure they not air band they do lip sync but that's kind of like a drag thing or something mostly my brother was in a an air guitar competition like well air guitar is different yeah is it so many genres here guys no there's so many of playing like pretending to play music but like that's all you want right like if you go to a concert or you know it doesn't matter if they're playing an instrument or not it doesn't matter if they're you know nine year olds in the school gym playing

strange animal by gowan oh yeah what we won with was twisted sister so like my dad made the the guitars and then the drums made out of um boxes like just old boxes that we covered in paper and i put the twisted sister symbol like on it and like nice you know had like a thing we made for a bone and then like hardware equipment like just went like full out you imagine me being like seven or eight or nine or whatever doing a twisted sister air band uh we just yeah i went went for it it was pretty fun it's funny to like hear that twisted sister they started out as like a working like a blue collar band in new jersey but they were always glam like they like the people in new jersey like wow we don't love glam but these boys

they're from our neck of the woods so we'll get into glam. My siblings used to always scare me by telling me I had twisted sister disease. What's that? Your bones pop out of your body and you have to shake them at people? The only symptom was that you said twisted sister with an A at the end. It seems to be a, guys were sisters yeah you can sing along you just have to say uh you can't say yeah we're not gonna take it yeah we we'd prefer not to take it yeah we if i'd had my druthers i would not have taken it so much but we do enjoy the rock yes we want to do it they wanted to do the rock um their uh their last album that they recorded was a christmas album that was that's

what they ended things on i i saw them in i think it was 2003 maybe when they uh they played it was the first time in canada for a long time maybe it was i don't know it was in outside of winnipeg and they they they dressed up they did like the whole thing and it was incredible they put on such a good show and then i went and saw them at the um at the casino river River Rock or whatever. And they didn't dress up. It was a couple of years later and they didn't dress up. And it was like such a bummer. They did their acoustic set.

Yeah, totally unplugged. I'd like to see that. I'd like to see we're not going to take it just done like Eric Clapton on Unplugged. See if you can spot this one. When I was a kid, that was the only thing I knew about Eric Clapton was that he was unplugged. I didn't know that he was plugged in. I knew he did an unplugged version of Layla.

Yeah, I knew that. Which was a very famous plugged song by Derek and the Dominoes. Which, you know, who knew that he was in that? Oh, I didn't realize. I thought it was just by Eric Clapton. Old Eric Clapton. I didn't know it was in another. No, it was, it was, he, yeah, I don't know.

I don't know why he recorded it under that name. You guys remember, like like that Twisted Sister video where the kid is blows his dad out of the window with with rock. Uh huh. That was like that was pretty. Utilizing rock. Yeah. Utilizing rock to blow his dad out the window. That for a kid.

That was the best. Yeah. That was amazing. The best. Was that before or after um marty mcfly did the same thing oh probably after yeah but this dad he's really coming down hard on his kid the kid's not doing anything he's just practicing his guitar and rocking out in his bedroom it's fine and then the same and then i believe macaulay culkin did the same thing to george went yeah

yeah yeah and then george went doesn't he land in uh the savannah or something and yeah i when i worked at cbc when i worked at cbc i asked like i did a uh story about these this phenomenon and i talked to a scientist and i was like would this really happen really scientist is like i have things going on yeah i mean you're i'm working on a vaccine right now oh taking company money for that is just that sounds great i believe the answer was well no because for the sound to move that way something else would have to fill that space like if

that many vibrations pushed them right it wouldn't look like that it would liquefy their bones or something like it would pull them back as well right I forget I think they answered that on Mansers too oh Mansers yeah if you've got questions we've got mansers

i miss those kinds of shows i'm sure they're still around so good like that show that was like who would win between a gladiator and an aztec and it's like it's like 70 sound effects like the entire thing and then also according to this dork a gladiator would win hey have these like forensic torsos they were made of like some sort of gel yeah forensics what do they call it ballistics gel because that was uh what was that station that was all it was all man was it spike spike that's right spike they had like an annual awards like the man awards and uh you know what it's just what a man could be a man yeah yeah they are definitely like because i remember growing up and people would be like yeah john wayne that was a

real man but no one remembers john wayne anymore so there's gonna be a generation that's like oh men men don't even give each other awards for being a man anymore it's like you can't even wear axe body spray and get chased by uh scantily clad women anymore there do you guys remember a show called keys to the vip oh yeah yeah i only vaguely remember do you remember what the set setup was was they they went on dates or something it was on the comedy network in canada yeah that was odd that was on the comedy network because i remember when john door was our the first time he was a guest on our show that he had a tv show on the comedy network and the comedy

network only made two original tv shows and one was john dorn one was keys to the vip wow i'd like to see a crossover episode that'd be cool that would be cool was it guys just telling stories about going to the club no they actually go into the club and they have they have cameras everywhere and they're like hey baby like they try their best to pick up lines and oh and then there's guys there's other guys sitting in like a booth that are like watching them and they do play by play like it's like it's a sports game and they go oh i don't know he he should have gone he zigged before he zagged he should have uh come in here yeah. Well, you know what? It was a genre of programming.

It'll come back into style. Inevitably. And we wish, we wish Adam Carolla and his company. The best. Yeah. Yeah. And now that channel that used to be spike is now uh just shows our rescue yeah yeah just

bar rescue bar rescue i think they did which i think could be another name for that show keys the vip bar rescue yeah there's just women just like oh help these guys are creeping me out yeah yeah actually uh like yeah a show, kind of a rescue 911. I can drop in on that rope thing and pick him up and then back out. Yeah, pretty good. I've got the Wikipedia open for a list of programs broadcast by Spike. And there was Boner Patrol. Is that for real? There's some with gasoline there's lots like

fuel references i think to all their shows yeah um the boner patrol is the first one alphabet yeah there's out of the mouths of babes for the 50 hottest quotations um let's see no i i uh let's see no i i uh boy this is a bad wiki this wiki wiki whack yeah this wiki is whack and get your shit together spike because it's also it also includes the stuff from before when it was the nashville network oh that was the nashville network and then i got changed to spike cool um all i remember about the spike awards is one time bill murray showed up dressed like a ghostbuster and i thought that was that's kind of always an option for him if he's got yeah he's always got if he just puts on that outfit um people go nuts uh did you see the most recent either you guys see the most recent

ghostbusters no i'm a few Ghostbusters behind. I haven't watched Ghostbusters 2. Ghostbusters 2, yeah. Well, let's just say in the most recent Ghostbusters, you get a chance to see Bill Murray in that costume once again. Oh, good. That's what I want. I mean, boy, before that,

the only chance you had to see him in that costume? Spike awards. And the award was a spike, right? It was like a spike that you would kill a vampire with. I don't know, man. I'm picturing a cable lace, which was a spade. A cable lace? I think if it wants to be really manly, yeah, it's very spiky.

It's probably on fire too it's got like tire treads yeah um yeah i'm just still thinking about john wayne being he uh what did he die of surely like coronary something right he didn't yeah it could be lung cancer oh yeah that's true but he never went down swinging like he didn't. Yeah, it could be lung cancer. Oh, it could be lung cancer. Yeah, that's true. But he never went down swinging. Like, he didn't get trampled by a horse or something, which was probably what he wanted. He wanted to be chased off a cliff or something. Boy, what could kill John Wayne?

It's unknowable. Like, what if you looked it up, and it turns out it was like, he died being a pansy. He died while sitting down to pee i don't know what would he have a problem with we always in the toilet and we did we tested the waters and that's what it was clear so it was he was only sitting to pee

bidet blew him off and he hit his head on the he died drinking a shirley temple on the toilet you got that little sword from a shirley temple he is stuck in his stomach cancer the answer is stomach cancer good to always get the funny uh end the funny jokes with the real serious yeah yeah yeah that could be an award on the spike network like just manliest way to die yeah at least death absolutely yeah but you know the manliest way would be like to have stomach cancer

but never but refuse to see a doctor yeah yeah just tough it out right i'll drink it away yeah yeah um but he was he like got to play like the same i guess there's people like that now like action movie stars that just play the same character over and over but yeah he was like a general a cowboy i think those were the two didn't he play like uh some famous person who is not like a cowboy like oh he's a tiller the hun or something or yeah and he also played gangas khan gangas khan he's like hello pilgrim yeah this is so weird he had it written into the script he called he gotta call people pilgrim that's how he got into his voice you know yeah yeah he had that one phrase he had to say to get him yeah pilgrim i'm getting this guy over here.

But I think he was in, not the Ten Commandments, but he was in. The Nine Commandments. Yeah. Yeah. The sequel. Mm-hmm. Thou shall not pilgrim. Yeah.

Have either of you guys ever seen a John Wayne movie? No. I've seen a couple, and they're pretty good. He plays that character well. Yeah, did he win an Oscar for Rooster Cogburn? Maybe, yeah. In the original True Grit? Original True Grit.

Pre-Hailee Steinfeld. He never did a comedy, as far as I know, but I feel like he would have been a guy who would have been oh that would be great wouldn't it he seems like a guy who couldn't take himself who wouldn't yeah he takes himself too seriously though that's yeah that's probably true and uh hard to make a comedy with a guy who's uh keeps seriusing it up all over the place. Yeah. But like Clint Eastwood. No, Clint Eastwood has done comedies. Yeah? Yeah, maybe it's the last of the guys who never did comedy.

Those monkey movies? Yeah, Any Which Way You Can, Any Which Way But Loose. Yeah. So are there any serious actors who don't do comedies or are they just like boring serious actors? I feel like ray fines hasn't ever done a comedy i feel like he was maybe like the straight man in get smart or something yeah okay yeah um but yeah it would be someone like that like uh stuff and it wouldn't be like liam neeson um liam neeson's in uh the what's the romantic comedy oh oh yeah what about um daniel day lewis there's no way he wouldn't oh wow he would be great he

would take it seriously in the right way yeah i would love to see him do like a maybe he would like like do i don't know about like where he plays j Jim Carrey or something. He could do that. He could do that. He could do a lot of things and I think he's like our generation's Peter Sellers. He can vanish into a character. You never see him.

He just chooses not to do anything funny. Although Phantom Threat is pretty funny. Phantom Threat has its moments. He gets mad for no reason a lot he eats a lot of breakfast he can't be disturbed during breakfast yeah if there's a certain money threshold that you have to pass before you can tell people like don't bother me during breakfast uh stuff like that i don't think it was even money i think it was just i'm i'm like it's a a persnickety persnickety ratio.

Um, but he's done. Didn't he retire? Wasn't that? Yeah. Unless one, one more role, get one more role and then quit forever.

Um, but he's like a cobbler or something like that. Yeah. Well, I think he was actually, he was thinking of, uh, he wanted to start on a remake of Paul Learns to Skateboard.

Just skate, SK8, Paul Learns to Skateboard. Oh, okay. He's going to disappear into the role. That would be amazing. Yeah, he follows you around for a year. Father, film me. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, man. Oh, man.

Hey, guys. Speaking of manly, I've been doing some manly work around the house. What have you been doing? Building a porch. Well, I did build a little porch. Yeah? Did you know about that? No.

A little, oh, it sucked. It was just like, just pavingaving stones like a little just like sitting area oh yeah oh they're so heavy and you have to make them so straight and the ground underneath is like i'm not straight i'm wonky does it still exist or is it oh yeah yeah i just did it like six weeks ago when we had like a week without rain that's a fun project lifting rocks and such mm-hmm well don't you have grass or something outside your or is it astroturf i've put fake grass on my uh balcony so that uh and i i was pretty serious i was pretty daniel day lewis about it because i uh i wanted to get the exact

where's he going with this i wanted to get the exact same color of grass that was in the neighborhood and so i wanted like you to sit on the balcony and you can look out your feet are in the grass and then it continues on to the the grass that's uh i'm eight floors up you know i wanted so i really uh i really got into it is how i daniel day lewis did because there's a lot of places to get uh astroturf um yeah um but uh for me it's always uh top top grade astroturf in victoria i saw an ad about them and uh they're the best the best around oh Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. There is like AstroTurf is kind of taking off here. Yeah. A lot of people are doing it. It makes sense to do it, you know, in, in like,

you know, people live in the desert and, and replace their grass with AstroTurf because you can't water it all the time, but it's very, very green here. here yeah that's true but uh look i you know what i i got no beef with astroturf um but what i've been doing my manly thing that i've been doing is uh i borrowed my dad's power washer oh wow i power washed all the graffiti in the neighborhood yeah get a

anyway no i mostly just power wash people as they walk by yeah yeah yeah um the just you know the front steps the back step oh yeah yeah was it satisfying yeah it's yeah it it's very satisfying it's not 100 like we get a lot of leaves that fall on the the front front uh walkway and the leaves just stain the cement that's true right so it just goes so deep uh but it works it can take it off it it is the crest white strips of the sidewalk i guess so it's crest white strips 80 effective yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah so it was basically uh yeah and but it's just so time consuming and you gotta if you miss a spot it's so obvious yeah yeah exactly uh no you can't do your car with that.

That's only for sidewalks. I don't know. They have something like that at the manual car wash that you can go to. Manual car wash rules. Yeah, yeah. Won the Spike Awards. Yeah. The manliest way to wash a car.

It just punches it with soap. But I'm pretty stupid and it's uh at one point i had some dirt on my hand and i was like oh i just sprayed my hand with oh just blew the skin right off oh it felt like it for like i just literally had to pull my hand away right away i was like oh god this is like this is like a silkwood shower um uh what is a silkwood shower is it something doing with radiation or yeah like from the movie silkwood yeah i haven't seen the movie silkwood have you seen sophie's choice no and i've never heard of whatever it's called the bark in the night or how about uh kramer versus kramer i've seen some of kramer versus never heard of whatever it's called, The Bark of the Night. How about Kramer vs. Kramer?

I've seen some of Kramer vs. Kramer. Okay, yeah, it's like that. Yeah, okay. Apparently Dustin Hoffman was really hard on our... He was Daniel Day-Lewis. He was. He was Daniel Day-Lewis. And he was yelling at Meryl Streep.

Can you imagine? Like... Oh. Yeah. What about a remake of that starring Daniel Day-Lewis, but it's, it's Kramer. It's like Michael Richards.

It's like versus how he destroyed his career. Oh my God. That would be great. Or he could play versus Joey Kramer, who is the kid from a flight of the navigator. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's better. That's a fair fight. Yeah. With Daniel Day-Lewis as both. And that's him coming out and doing a comedy. We got it all. How come Daniel Day-Lewis didn't star in a movie where he does multiple roles?

Right, an Eddie Murphy type situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're Mike Myers. He's got a new show where he plays a bunch of characters. Yeah. The worst thing about doing a scene with Eddie Murphy would just be like, you'd be thinking the whole time he's thinking like, I could do better.

You know, like you are actually in a scene with him. Yeah. And he could, and he will. If you, if you do do better, he'll fire you.

Yeah. Yeah. I feel like, could there be a movie where one person plays every single character in the movie up to and including extras walking in the background. Of course they're good. Yeah. I mean, it'd be a digital nightmare.

No, it would be a digital orgy. Yeah. I think Daniel Day-Lewis is the only one for the job because he can really play these different characters and really separate them. Yeah. It'd take years because he would have to follow around. He'd have to shadow somebody for each character. Also, he'd have to come out of retirement don king would have to you know set up some plates yeah yeah he goes he works his way back up doing small parts that would be good that actually i like i like that idea i would like him to come out of retirement just as like yeah

a guy who has three lines yeah three lines or comes out he does a super hilarious a cameo a la tom cruise in your tropic thunder right because tom cruise is a guy i didn't think uh would be funny like he seemed like a guy who'd be super serious about everything. But you know what? He can do it. He can do it all. God damn it, Tom Cruise can do it all. I didn't think I'd ever be here saying that, but it's the truth. I'm on Daniel Day-Lewis' IMDb trying to find a comedy. I don't know a lot of these movies yeah maybe uh maybe my beautiful laundrette is really funny sounds hilarious that's so funny

but like there's actors that just get to do those films like they're not they never have to do like an action uh franchise just so that they can do one dramatic role like they get all the dramatic roles yeah he's not one of these one for me one for the studio guys yeah right how does he's but he's the only one he probably at this point is the only one aside from uh like leonardo caprio does he get to do just whatever he wants but he's been in comedy so they all can do whatever they want they just that's the whole thing. Like, oh, I got to do one for the studio and for me. But you could just do what you want.

You just make a little less money. That's true. Sure. Make less money. And you'd be judged as a serious actor, which is tough. You know, nobody's like. I only want to be judged against, you know, Jason Statham. Yeah, exactly.

Or the Hulk. want to be judged against you know uh jason state yeah exactly or the hulk what i what i would love is when they go on the talk show circuit if it was a person and then like an animatronic hulk or like a cg hulk that does panel uh i feel like we're not far from that possibility. No. Hulk on Jimmy Kimmel or, you know, et cetera. But insert superhero here. No, he's funnier than Hulk, though. Hulk funniest superhero? Probably. Wasn't Beavis and Butthead on Arsenio?

Oh, yeah, that sounds right. Yeah. Or they were on Letterman, I think. Was it Letterman? I don't think Letterman would be into it. Maybe it was Letterman. I feel, I remember Beavis being Paul Schaefer. Beavis had like the little glasses.

Okay. But they probably did the rounds a lot. Yeah. They did all the talk show circuits. Arsenio Hall, he was like an anomaly. Like he came out of nowhere, was super, super popular, and then vanished completely. Why did he vanish completely? Were people tired of doing the dog pound?

He's not good, I think, is one reason. Whoa, come on. I loved him. I loved him, too. But why? So, where do you get off saying he's not good? He had those things that made you say hmm yeah you're right

I was saying hmm a lot he also did a thing that I think doesn't exist in this era anymore where wrestlers would come on as their persona from wrestling and the talk show host would just have to play along that is pretty great

I feel like I saw it on Regis and Kathy Lee did it. For sure it was on Arsenio Hall. You know, Ultimate Warrior would come out. Arsenio has to ask Ultimate Warrior questions. Oh, that was so good. We got a phone call

recently and I want to play it. It has something to do with what we're talking about. Hello Dave and Graham and lovely, lovely guests. This is Parker from North Carolina and I just wanted to let you guys know that before I start listening to your podcast, I thought

that Arsenio Hall was a place that stand-up comedians perform. So, yeah, I just want to give you that lovely little tidbit. Keep up the great work, guys. Bye. You can see Beavis and Butthead at Arsenio Hall.

That makes so much sense. Oh, I knew I made it when I sold out Arsenio Hall. How do you get to Arsenio Hall? Practice, man. Practice. You know, we have a lot of people call in with overheards but sometimes we'll just get a something like that and i'm like i don't know where to play that and then

it just you know what it's when destiny has a sense of humor that's what we call serendipity this fall in theaters who's in serendipity is fall. In theaters. Who's in Serendipity? John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale. It's so beautiful. Yeah. So yeah, I did some power washing and then we talked about other stuff.

What's going on with you? Speaking of power washing, I went through regular old car wash. Car wash? Where you go and you just sit there and it does does its thing uh did it have a little light show yeah had a little light show um it was it was fun but it didn't really do anything because it's like the season when stuff

is just falling on everything and like sticky uh pollens and all that kind of stuff like stick to the car and regular car wash does nothing it does nothing it just kind of buffs up that slime that's on top of your car i got a power washer yeah i was gonna say he's got his power washer why didn't you swing by that would be a great thing yeah i've had a car wash yeah dave you could you could have your own car wash come out and sure tie it up. Yeah. Yeah. And he could soap them down and you could. You get her name out of your mouth.

Have you been in the one, because there's like, there's three kinds of car washes in this town as far as I can figure. There's the manual. Yeah. Where they, you get out and they like wipe your steering wheel and vacuum the floor that's the one i want uh then there's the one uh there's the the gas station one where you just like go park in one spot in the little box and everything happens it showers your car and then there's the one where you have to put your car in neutral and the guy is like keep your hand off the steering wheel put it in neutral oh and they pull you along it pulls you along but that one freaks me out because i i'm afraid i'm going to

just like slam on the brakes and ruin everything what did we tell you like keep your foot off the brake keep it in neutral don't touch the steering like. Like, there's too much of, too much is on me. And then we also have to only have the spray down, do your own. I don't know. Put a quarter in and spray whoever you're with. Kind of a fun thing. Playfully, yeah. Yeah, so this car wash, fun to be in, but it didn't do jack shit, really.

So, and there's no way to get a refund because, uh, no. Well, at least in that one where they, where the guy's like, don't touch your steering wheel. He'll also say,

yeah, we're not going to, this won't get that off your car. That bird poots there forever. Yeah. I want to take my car to get like detailed. Is that what detailing is? Yeah.

Really scrubbed up brand new um just so more sap can fall on it and uh coat it another time detailing it feels to me like someone goes in with like a q-tip and that's every crevice yeah yeah they get which is not what i would i need in between the like air vents the little little slot yeah um uh so yeah i went to a car wash uh did it when you when i have one of those and there's like a little light show yeah i try to like go through the radio to pick the song that it's like seeing like laser pat banneton yeah that's what they should do at the car wash is just turn your dial to this uh station oh yeah yeah i do mushrooms every time i go to a car walk yeah yeah they're like sir drive through sir sir there's other

people who want to go no hands oh shit i put my car in reverse oh shit um uh yeah so i did that which is a thing that i haven't done since i don't know first year university uh washed your car yeah because i've never had a car long enough you know to uh regularly wash it because in calgary it was like uh it didn't matter what you did your car was going to rust anyway so you know why you gotta get the undercoat yes undercoat you gotta get some spray um but the other thing i did this week uh is a few episodes ago we talked how uh talked about how my favorite gum seems to be vanishing from existence. Yeah, the Trident. The Trident. And any update on that?

Well, somebody, I think you sent me a message about it, about the fact that Mondelez is trying to sell off their gum division, of which Trident, that's where Trident is made. I love gum division. I was into their early stuff, yeah. Yeah, well, they didn't have very much they became a new order well yeah well the early part of that one album yeah yeah you know track one track two they already got a little too commercial by the end

the uh so the one place that has them are like corner stores the you know your shoppers drug right your london drugs uh they do not carry it but corner stores still have it and so i've been going on missions and buying up everyone that the corner store has and and but so this trident uh sell-off they're just not making it in the meantime i don't know or some like one guy said that his supplier just said like it's a materials thing and they just uh everything's uh they don't have the right plastic yeah they don't have the right plastic exactly yeah and so like but it's the specific one it's like the the trident chiclet one that comes in a 12 pack and uh slides in and out this is uh this is how you guys can make some real cash is if you get to the place first before you for me and out but every time i do it the guy at the cashier

thinks i'm doing a silly joke. Because you're buying... Because I buy the whole box. And they're like, okay, this is very funny that you would bring the box up here. And then do you ask if he has any more in the back? I do. Well, 100% of the time they haven't.

They just have what they have. 100% of the time they say, I don't want to check. Yeah, exactly. If I go in the back, people are just going to steal all of my stuff. And I don't want to check yeah exactly if I go in the back people are just going to steal all of my stuff yeah and I'm not going to let you watch it because you're just some maniac who's pretending

he wants to buy all the gum so what is your apartment like now gum wise you know good it's a good level what's good is it like hundreds of containers at this point and i'm adding all the time so that's that's beyond good although you're worried yes

i'm worried that there is no future for this gum so i'm gonna have to maybe segue into another type of gum yeah which is hard you know old dog tricks. I forget what my old gum was. What your go-to was? Yeah. I think I used to get an extra, some kind of extra. Yeah, I think when I was in high school, the one that I loved was Big Red. Oh, yeah, the cinnamon one? Yeah.

What even is this? It's just called Five? Yeah, Five Gum. That's right. Weird. Yeah, I have five gum at the moment a lot more than five pieces in it it's very strange graham did you get into gut like because you started chewing the nicotine gum when you stopped smoking is that what got you into gum

yeah so it's just like getting you out of the addiction got you into the into a habit okay yeah but i remember like talking to a doctor and being like yeah i chewed nicotine gum for a while he's like yeah you shouldn't do that and i chew regular gum he's like that's you're fine like if you got at that point you don't need to also quit gum and i was like all right yeah and you're like yeah and just so you know i'm now going to stores and buying all the gum oh yeah that's healthy too and i think that's good yeah yeah like so you know i'm now going to stores and buying all the gum oh yeah that's healthy too and i think that's good yeah yeah like if you're buying all the gum you don't have to quit and what's all your anxiety about these days uh talk to your therapist it's like i feel like the

end of the world is coming uh vis-a-vis gum yeah gum is the first thing to fall it's in revelations if you read it my My second favorite gum is... I hate my second favorite gum. I don't even like... I only like one kind of gum. Yeah. My second... Like, I, for a while, chewed Excel.

And it's fine, but it's... No, it tastes kind of weird. It gets flavorless pretty quick. Yeah, that's a problem. Juicy fruit is a good one. That's a good holiday gum if you're just going out on a trip. I haven't seen it in a while. Or I guess they don't.

Is that now in the blister pack? I don't know. The last one I got was in a jar kind of thing. Oh, sure. A little tub. Yeah, a little tub of juicy fruit. But that's not a fallen winter gum. Or maybe it is.

Maybe it's a year long gum, but I like in the summer. But yeah, so I'm on the hunt. I'm still on the hunt. I've gone to so many convenience stores, but I'm going to keep going. I went to,

last time I went to America, I went and I checked, I checked out went to America, I went and I, uh, checked, I checked out the gas station and see if they had it. No, no, no orbits.

Orbits. Yeah. Orbit. Yeah. Send me a picture of Graham. I want to keep my eye open for you. I will. I will send you a picture.

And, uh, it's so funny because it's like, have either of you had that where uh just a product that you like it just vanishes yeah yeah we talked about it paul do you have one that just vanished and you were like yeah it yeah it was i don't yeah i've tried to block it out of my mind because it was like the perfect hangover cure there were these tiny little bottles i don't even remember what it was called and it was just this juice it was so good and it uh yeah it's it was a big hangover cure oh and they just but it wasn't supposed it wasn't made for that it was just

like some health some health juice right this is supposed to be for your heart don't use it for hangovers this is very serious medication yeah your doctor's like okay so yeah as long as you keep drinking hangover medication you're fine you can keep drinking as much as you want every you can get as drunk as you want every night it's fine um yeah so that's what's been up with me uh do you guys want to move on to some overheards okay it's fine yeah it's fine you've done this 743 times once a week it's fine a man goes to the doctor and says

that he's depressed and that life seems cruel the doctor says ah the treatment is simple the great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight go and see him and you will surely feel better. The man bursts into tears and says, But Doctor, I am Pagliacci.

Ah, OK, says the Doctor. In which case, try listening to the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. The Beef and Dairy Network podcast is a multi-award winning comedy podcast and you can find it at MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts. Hello, I'm a stuffy dowager countess. Travis? I'm judging everybody's manners. Oh no, Schmaners isn't judgy. It's about teaching you to be your best self

and be a little more confident when you enter social situations that you don't understand. And maybe also teach you a little bit about history you didn't know or give you interesting things to talk about at parties. Yeah, like the secret life of Emily Post. Or like why wristwatches are the way that they are. We can talk about table manners from the Victorian era. Sure. Or what it's like to attend a Regency ball.

Yeah. You can find all that and more if you listen to Schmanners on Maximum Fun or wherever your podcasts come from, I guess. Schmanners, Schmanners. Get it? Overheard. overheard overheard's a segment uh where ye and thou get together and uh your bounty springeth forth your cup overfloweth with hilarious things you overheard or seen bring them hither to the podcast and uh we always like to start with the guest paul do you have an overheard yeah this is one of my favorite and um it it's actually uh it was overheard by my friend brandon dancer but it's just so good that i had to steal it with his permission yeah we're all friends with

brandon yeah okay good good we'll never have him on the show so don't worry no no so he was uh working at whole foods and uh and he was walking down the cereal aisle where he spotted Elvis Costello and Diana Krall. Nice. And as he walked by he heard Elvis Costello say, we have enough

gorilla munch at home. Oh! So good. so good that's so specific i love it i know but diana crawl is like no they discontinued it we got to go to every sort of like gorilla munch what is it oh it's cereal yeah it's like uh like a more healthy version of like like uh captain crunch or something yeah yeah so funny let's love the idea of their just being a ton of boxes at their house just filling the pantry diana gorilla munch is killing me thank you um dave do you have one just trying to think of more alice costello songs right what's so funny about Gorilla Munch, Diana? Yeah. And her name is Gorilla Munch.

Okay. I met him once and he had so much dandruff on his shoulders. I was just shocked. Like it was just full. And I was just staring at it as he was talking to me. Then John Mayer came up and then they're talking about minivans. And I'm just staring at all this what was this event yeah it it was it was a backstage at the police uh they had their their when like the police the band when they yeah started their tour backstage at the jail

yeah and uh i uh i came with uh with a friend that was like friends with sting so we which was there's a story in it himself like walking into his dressing room they had all these like aroma therapy stuff like they made it to look like a like some sort of buddhist temple and he was sitting on all these like pillows like and people were sticking uh like pins in them like acupuncture pins we just sat on the floor and ate like macrobiotic bowls and uh before the show it was pretty funny oh that's you know he'd backstage at uh diana kralik yeah yeah what do you think is the artist most likely to have a party sub backstage? Oh, boy.

Oh, Post Malone. Ah, very excellent choice. Yeah. I don't think I can think of anybody better than Post Malone. Who else is somebody who really get down on a party sub? Oh, sure. DMX. Or like Toby sub. Oh, sure. Like, you know. DMX. Or like Toby Keith.

Oh, yes. It's not really a country thing, is it? No, but it could be definitely a Toby Keith kind of thing, for sure. I feel like it's, you know, city music. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Like, yeah, like you say, like Post Malone. Yeah.

The streets from England. For sure. But it's cucumber sandwiches. Just a big long cucumber sandwich. Giant pot of tea. Yeah. On a cracker. So this is an overheard. I heard this.

There was this girl saying, I was dropping off my kids at school and I overheard. I heard this. There was this girl saying, I was dropping off my kids at school, and I overheard this nine-year-old girl talking about her. She was going to be gone for most of June, but she'd be back for the end of school, and I'm going to get my poetry portfolio back. Nice. And it's going to have my poem that says war is the feeling of a dead cat lying on a sidewalk and the teacher's gonna say oh my god brooklyn do

not write that in a poem too late already did Too late? Already did. Ha ha ha. Man. Teenage poetry. That's its own. If I went to a bookstore and they had... This is pre-teen poetry. Oh, this is pre-teen? Yeah, if I went to a bookstore and they had teen poetry as a section I would probably... That's where I'd hang out. Yeah.

I feel like the poetry now is probably very different than when I was a teen because Jewel had just come out with a poetry book and I feel like the poetry now is probably very different than when I was a teen because Jewel had just come out with a poetry book. And I feel like probably a lot of, a lot of poetry was Jewel-esque. I don't even know who. I don't know if any kids read Jewel. No,

they taught it in our school. The famous poet. Yeah. Just the class. We're doing three units on jewel. And we might get to like everyone else. But you'll did a haiku. So we actually,

we could do a haiku unit just on jewel. Do a whole haiku unit. Anyways, we wish jewel the best. There was a, was it kurt loder the mtv host uh interviewed her about a uh oh boy what was the word like about her poetry book and like corrected her oh really and it was like you're using this word wrong or like what she like conflated two words in a poem but it's a poem right yeah yeah i uh you can write whatever you want but he's like i don't think you know what that word and i don't think this can literally happen yeah yeah exactly

all of a sudden you have butterfly wings i don't know it seems like those are mostly for butterflies anyway and then he like apologized 25 years later an apology 25 years in the making yeah uh she's good for him uh um yeah yeah anyway uh what's uh your overheard my overheard is uh i think i mentioned that i've been slowly watching a television show called selling sunset which is uh now you say you've been slowly watching it you watch it on 0.5 speed yes yeah because i want to savor it um but i can't tell i don't know what characters who and it doesn't matter really because uh there's no stakes to the show but there was one scene where one of the women had like two buns on top of her head like two uh what would you call that like kind of like a raver look

like a bjork like a bjork yeah yeah and uh. Yeah. And the other lady there had been drinking, and she walked in with the buns on, and her friend said, Oh, my God. You look just like Princess Layla. Got me on my knees. Let's see if you can spot this one. But she couldn't have looked less like Leia I guess and also who's Leila

but yeah anyways it struck me as funny funny enough to write down on my phone yeah yeah yeah I mean these look these overheards they just come to you and you know what I wish everybody at Selling Sunset,

I hope that you get some pretty good deals in this year. And the Oppenheimer Group, you're in my thoughts. But yeah, don't watch that show. If you have anything in your life better to do, don't. Go wash your car. Yeah. If you feel the impulse to go watch Selling Sunset. Now, in addition to our fabulous

overheards we also have overheards sent in to us by people around the world if you want to send one in sby at maximumfun.org and the first one comes from Leia S here in Vancouver BC Leila S

you look just like Princess Leila I'm such a nerd I I love sci-fi. May the fourth be with you. Overheard in a public washroom. Two drunk women entered the stalls. Woman one. Oh my god. What was the awesome restaurant we went to called again? Woman two. Oh.

Joey's? Woman one. No. I mean the nice one. Silence. Denny's? Yes! we need to go back there oh my god we need to go back yeah when's the last time you guys were in a denny's um jeez you'd say in the last five years maybe i once did a gig that was so the hotel was so far from everything that I just ate Denny's three times a day. Because that was kind of the only food that you could find anywhere. And it was fine. That's great.

Yeah. You got chocolate milkshake at one point. What about you, Paul? Denny's? I don't know if I've ever been to a Denny's, honestly. They got nonstop. No, they don't have nonstop pop. They maybe have nonstop coffee.

Yeah. And I top you up. Paul, you got to go. We're going to Denny's after. All right, all right. Let's do it. We're all going to go to Denny's. Road trip.

This next one comes from Casey in Arkansas. I was meeting at work with about 10 other people and we were all talking about weekend plans and what TV shows there were. One of the person says, hey Krista, what's that one we were talking about? Krista, our father. It's out on Netflix. Carson, who wasn't paying close attention.

Your father came out on Netflix? Congratulations! My dad came out on Spike TV so it's a complicated you must be going through a lot of complicated emotions right now but yeah you know what if you have a chance to come out on

Netflix take it you know and you know what congratulations to netflix for making selling sunset and also for um uh having this person's dad come out on you yeah yeah the algorithm told me your dad was gay um uh this last one comes from Gabriel in Cleveland my girlfriend and I were explaining sailor songs to my nine year old daughter

I mentioned that I sang the song what should you do with a drunken sailor in my high school choir my girlfriend mentioned that we had learned it as early as elementary school but that we wondered how it could be made kid appropriate my daughter replied

what should you do with a drunken teddy bear that's good that is good you clean it up so the kids can listen that doesn't seem like that is that a song you guys were taught i think i remember it from a movie boy uh yeah i mean what was the one what was this eyes to buy the bills the boat oh yeah that that was the one we uh we learned in recorder on recorder yeah yeah yeah and they all came back in tiktok there was a whole sea shanty. Yeah, there was some shanty time. Oh, shit. Yeah, how the new kids get to, yeah. Yeah, it's weird, all the stuff that you're like, ah, kids are still doing that shit.

But now they're doing it, like, willfully? Yeah, exactly. They're choosing to do a weird dance to a shanty? Yeah. Seems odd, seems odd. Yeah, we were forced. Don't they know we werey? Yeah. Seems odd. Seems odd. Yeah, we were forced. Don't they know we were forced? Yeah.

In addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. Is that a shanty? That's one. SpyPod 1. Like these lads and lasses have hi dave graham and possible guests this is ethan b from los angeles california i'm driving on the freeway right now and a car pulled

in front of me with a bumper sticker that said my dad gave up his bipolar medication for fundamental Catholicism. So unpack that one. Right underneath honk if you're horny or whatever. At the gas station. Huh. This speaks to me. My dad

did get off his medication for that reason. Because I was horny? Wow. I mean sure. Fundamental Catholicism works if you're horny too oh yeah that's true you just have to confess it um yeah that's a real it's a real out that they have just confess it well if you don't confess it you just just have to jump around to different churches over. Oh, yes. Yeah, that's right. I mean, my church had a bigger loophole. You don't even confess it. You just ask for forgiveness. Like, privately to God. Oh, you just say, yeah, I guess. Are we cool? And you only have to do it right before you die.

That's true. Yeah, recant everything on your deathbed. Yeah, it's cool yeah the universe is like well you did recant just in time so yeah you're fine you think these people have like a little list like on their phone then like just in case oh thanks to like clear up yeah oh oh no i mean just like hey i don't even keep a list it's's just like, hey, man, I'm a sinner. Yeah, I ate three ice creams. What are you going to do about it? Yeah, sue me. Sue me to heaven, please.

Phone call. Hey, Dave Graham and probable guests. I'm calling in with a kid. I was walking into my local organic grocer, and there was a mom with a kid in a stroller out front and they had this conversation. That's the onion store. Yes, that is the onion store. Well, off I go.

Yay, onions. I recognize that place. You bought one onion there once. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. It sounded like it was a good thing, but for my daughter, she's just like,

if I cut onions, she has to leave the house. Right. The house. She doesn't want to be anywhere. She has to be, like, on the balcony. But, like, once they're cooked, is she cool, or? She's not cool ever, man. She's such a bummer.

When it goes to onions, kids are a bummer. Yeah. Also, my wife is a bummer. Does she hate onions? Yeah. And I feel bad. Like, I love onions and I love fried onions or like sauteed onions. What's the word? Caramel yeah yeah but that stinks up the house so i've i've now got a uh uh like a cast iron pan that

i exclusively use to cook onions nice on the barbecue oh it has to stink up the house it just makes the house smell delicious for a long time no i think it stinks but okay it's not like it's not like cookies those that makes the house smell delicious oh yeah holy cow i don't smell onions and be like um onions i if they're if they're cooking i do i'm like ah gotta get go eat the hot dog or whatever it is anyway that's the onion store, everyone. Here's your final phone call. Hi, Tim and Graham. This is Griffin in Turks and Caicos.

I was just driving down the main highway of the island, and in front of me was a moving truck with a back door open and rolled up. And inside, among a bunch of furniture was a young man humping a an armchair and he looked very proud of himself

anyway that's all I've got you gotta test it out in the store you don't want to get that couch back and then try and hump it and be like ahhh or in the moving truck that is in motion. Yeah. Motion for the ocean, yeah.

They talk about how in old timey times, you would have to put a tablecloth on, a long tablecloth on a table just because the suggestion of a table leg would make men too horny. I think this guy had that with an armchair. And that's what old strip clubs used to be, is when a magician would pull the tablecloth off.

Ta-da! Everybody's patting their head. Ooh, that was hot. Holy moly. Don't tell my wife. I'm just coming here for the wings. It's great food. Well, I believe that brings us to the end of this episode.

Paul, thank you so much for being our guest. Oh, my gosh. Thanks for having me. And when's the next talent time? Where can people find out things that you are up to? Oh, my gosh. You just, I just,

I just remembered that you asked me my favorite guest of the season and it just came to me. Can I add that? Yeah, of course. Yeah. Yeah. We'll put it at the beginning.

Okay. So just in this last episode to close things out, we had this ventriloquist on who is amazing. He just does boat cruises he's he's like in his 80s he's he's incredible you'd have loved that um and then uh i was like you know okay we're gonna end the show here it's a little bit uh unconventional but as we were setting up this this man wandered in and uh nice guy just kind of chatting us up and he said that uh his dream was to one day sing a song on this stage like do you want to help me make uh allow this man to live his dream

and they're like yay i'm like sure please welcome i think i have his name written here somewhere alan coming and then alan came out and sang the sun will come out tomorrow and just like shocked everyone it was pretty fun i love it that's so funny wow um uh well yeah this little turn and then john mayer walked up and he was like hey we're gonna get a we're gonna get a party sub backstage um so people, it's the first. So yeah, coming, we were doing the first Thursday of every month at the Rio, but after doing that every month for, you know, 14 years, I think next season, I'm just going to do like three or four shows.

Oh, okay. I just can't keep it up. So we're doing a Halloween show, october 20th and then we're doing new year's eve oh actual new year's eve at the rio theater so that that's what i'm super excited for and there's plenty of time to uh plan to come see us on new year's eve oh you got to absolutely that's so that's so much fun and it's is it uh is there a website where people can see old episodes yeah yeah so uh talenttime.biz has them kind of organized there. We've got a, we're all on YouTube.

Like lots of, most of the episodes are up on YouTube. Talent Time, Paul Anthony's Talent Time. Nice. And, you know, Instagram, all that stuff. You know, it's all around there. Talent Time or Talent Time TV, it's called. You got to check it out. If you've never seen it, all you listeners out there, it's all around our talent time or talent time tv it's called you got to check it out if you've never seen it all you listeners out there it's a it's a treat for all

the senses and uh it's such a cool thing that he does every month which is insane uh so glad to hear that it's not the insanity will be curbed a little bit uh but thank you so much for being our guest and uh thank you all out there for listening. If you produce your own talent show, maybe consider doing it like four times a year. Don't burn yourself up. Certainly don't do it weekly. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture.

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