Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 751 - Mike Paterson

Episode Date: August 9, 2022

Comedian and actor Mike Paterson joins us to talk Prey, unfinished puzzles, and Fields.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka, and he's Graham Clark, and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 751 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who I haven't seen in a Fortnite, Mr. Dave Shumka. Although we do see each other when we play Fortnite every single day. I'm Jiminy Cricket with the big gun and I run around shooting and climbing and it's just, it's a fun game to play. And Jiminy Cricket,

that's a patch that you got put into the system. Yeah, it's a patch I got. Yeah. Um, I also have a Jiminy Cricket patch on my, uh, sleeveless denim vest that I wear to all my Disney punk shows.

Disney punk show is not the worst idea. No, it's not. Oh no, i will someone posted uh all these like emo and metal bands covering running up that hill oh yeah yeah because they all discovered it but i'm sure there are like tons of punk covers of let it go oh let it go surely super califragilisticexpialidocious i'm sure there's oh didn't fallout boy do um into the unknown from frozen 2 like officially on the soundtrack wow um uh that sounds great i can't wait to search disney punk music um our guest today a gentleman who has been on the show before but it's been a while since he's been on the show. He's very funny. He's a comedian. He's an actor. He's here with us today.

It's Mike Patterson, everybody. Into the unknown! I listened to that Fall Out Boy version. It's actually Panic at the Disco. Oh, yeah, that's right. Sorry. Yeah, I have a child. I listen to Frozen and Frozen 2 a million times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is Panic! at the Disco.

And then Weezer did... Lost in the Woods. Lost in the Woods. The male ballad. The Weezer song. Well, it's more of like a Chicago song. Oh man, is it ever? It's so great.

Yeah, you can tell that I don't watch any media other than kids' media right now. So I'm just like, what a great movie that is. Yes, I am Mike Patterson. I am podcasting myself now. Yeah, we're glad to have you. Mike, we saw you in your frame there. I took a picture of everyone. Yes. But now I see behind you, is there a picture of you behind you? Yes, there is. There's a picture of me. I have a lip sync band and we had a play.

Our second play, Never Surrender Saves a Baby. I was also doubling as Fidel Castro. We got to break this down. I was in a lip sync band. We had like lip sync musicals for many years. And our second one, we found a baby. It was like back when that big Cuban baby thing thing was happening so we found a cuban baby and then there was like an evil fidel castro who we know nothing about we don't know anything about cuba and i had to play fidel castro so i had to

die in the play so um we had to have a big funeral for like 18 minutes and then they reveal this giant picture of my face and then we sang michael bolton's how could i live without you oh nice uh and journey separate ways as a montage of all the great fun times we had um yeah and i still have it like 15 years later i mean that doesn't explain like i'm still confused but i yeah i'm i'm good i'm not just you know there's a giant picture of my face from 17 years ago. And when my wife first met me, it was above my bed. And now it's in the basement. As is your bed. So you stay down there.

I also sleep in the basement. Do we want to get to know us? Yes. Get to know us. Mike, there's so much to know about you first of all you're in a lip sync band still or this is in a past we just we just performed it just last last uh saturday night nice what uh what was the song what was the we did an hour-long concert of hits and so is it um like every song gets its own kind of like staging yes and choreography or like and we all play different uh instruments and also like you know like meatloaf's anything for love is an eight minute song we edit it down to a minute and 32 seconds okay i feel

like that's all you need of that song oh totally you don't need to listen you know he won't do anything he won't do for love or whatever does it have the woman part in it by which I mean the vagina yes it does have women parts in it which is sung by Ryan Wilner I play all the men and Ryan plays all the women

is it just the two of you no and Tim Rabnett plays lead guitar. Oh, I know Tim. Yeah, we pretend to. Well, no, we're actually playing it, dude. It's a real serious art, Dave. I'm confused. We've had Ryan Wilner on the show, right, Graham?

I'm not sure. It's possible. I mean, I wasn't sure if we had had Mike on. I had to go back into the catacombs and see. No, I remembered exactly when you said Mike. I was like, Patterson with one T. Yeah. Friends with Alicia. Big wrestling guy. Big wrestling fan. You're wearing a wrestling shirt as we speak. I am. Yeah, I'm wearing a WrestleMania 6 shirt that I bought in Hollywood, California at a boutique

called Tarjay oh Tarjay it's really nice so they had like glasses for 10 bucks they had a pharmacy and they also have this Wrestlemania 6 shirt that doesn't have Hulk Hogan on it yeah who's on it there well it's all dead people because you

can't put the live wrestlers on because it's too problematic Hulk Hogan might say something racist or something, but Macho Man's dead. Ultimate Warrior has said plenty of racist things, hasn't he? But he's dead. Yeah, he's not going to say any new stuff. Yes, he's not going to say any new

allegations. There's the big boss man. I think Bret Hart's on there, but he's not going to say anything bad. He's going to be like, family values, man. Where are people being nicer he's yeah he hasn't done anything like you know um uh did you so this past weekend i've read that uh rick flair had his last wrestle yes i didn't watch i watched the clips and it was just like did he die did he die is he dead and he didn't die so did he wrestle he um well he trained to get in the ring with this guy named

j lethal and then um halfway through yeah yeah yeah and then uh halfway through um he was putting on this big match and he said hey j lethal uh great and he's like hey can i get a wrestling match i just trained you forever can i get a wrestling match and he's like no we only want big stars sorry and then Ric Flair kind of big leagued him and then Jay Lethal beat him up in a parking lot in Tennessee and then left him bleeding and then he was

fighting Jay Lethal wow when I was a kid wrestlers didn't have cool names like Jay Lethal they had names like Ric Flair. See, I don't know. I can't follow wrestling anymore because I don't know what anybody's job is.

I'm like, what's your job? What are you? Are you a skateboard salesman? He's like, no. Who are you? I'm just a wrestler. What were the jobs of the big... I stopped watching in 1991 so the big well there was a big boss man yeah prison guard yeah it was uh there was a tugboat he was a tugboat

man that you'd attach i think it was a living tugboat i think his job was being a tugboat right so like yeah when he wasn't wrestling he was just in the bay junkyard dog seemed to be a dog who worked at a junkyard yes exactly um so they all had jobs right they all had jobs iron chic was a chic yes he was a chic irs was a uh a revenue yeah erwin r shyster was his name yeah doink the clown was a clown that's right uh yeah and then there were a lot of guys who were just like, I'm a fuck machine. There were a lot of guys. Yeah. I'm Sean Michaels.

I'm Rick Martel. I'm Jake. Not Jake. The snake. Jake was like, I can. Ravishing Rick Rude. I can do more drugs and steroids than anybody. So why is Ric F still uh going on wrestling he's very he's

a very old man at this point yeah he also like died i don't know that was crazy i didn't watch it like i was doing a show just for laughs last night like i didn't watch the uh i was just like nope but i did come home and scroll through twitter and that's what i like to do for wrestling now did you uh he went on a on a speaking tour where he like told old stories about wrestling did you see that when he was touring around rick flair yeah did he yeah i saw him in vancouver and it it was really like an old man how like he was looking for details that didn't matter to the story he just kept making the stories longer and he had jimmy the mouth of the south heart was there kind of moderating and he kept saying had jimmy the mouth of the south heart was there

kind of moderating and he kept saying to jimmy he was like how how tall was he he was probably like six six two six three and like get on with this i do know that um about six years ago he let it out that he had sex with hallie berry and um so he said she wanted to tell everyone, but he was keeping it a secret. Yeah. So he let he said on a podcast that he had sex with Halle Berry and then TMZ went and asked Halle Berry and then she said

who's Ric Flair, right? And then which made Ric Flair say, come on. Come on. It turns out he had had sex with Chuck Berry. Everybody knows who Ric Flair say, come on. Come on. It turns out he had had sex with Chuck Berry. Everybody knows who Ric Flair is. So, yeah. Good for him.

That's probably why he used to... Like a modern day Moby, where he said that he slept with Natalie Portman. That's right. Did he? Oh my goodness, Moby. He said he did, but she said no. She said, don't say that anymore. Don't talk about that. Don't talk about that don't talk about me get your name out get my name out of your mouth yeah um

i wouldn't want to be slapped by natalie portman she's had proper training on some films some star wars films oh yeah she can lift majoliner yeah so that's right like you know what i mean i don't want to get slapped by that it's like who's majoliner i'm talking about wilder it's a it's a it's a fragrance dave you know like dracar or something like it's something we wore in the 90s you would put majoliner on your neck and just feel real good about yourself as you that's where you want to be kissed by natalie portman hey natalie portman i mean you smell like that why would you say something that's so easily disprovable like why would you i don't get it well it's not disprovable uh what did they had a date or whatever yeah well yeah i guess they could all be lying.

Is that what you're saying? Like, you could be telling the truth. Well, it's like, you can prove, you can, you can't disprove something that didn't happen. That's right. Or what, like, I forget what it is. But like, How do you know I didn't,

you bed, Halle Berry. Here's the way I know. I take photos of every date I was ever on. We do a nice fashion shoot holding up today's newspaper. Oh, like Chuck Berry. As a man who slept with three women before meeting my wife 17 years ago, I'm very worried that someone's going to talk to one of those three women.

And those women are Claudia Schia schiffer no no she wouldn't have no i'm like she wouldn't do that um uh you've been together with your your wife 17 years that's a long stretch yeah married the like married seven married from day one we got married married from day one the minute i met her i was like you're marrying me let's get it was great you put the shotgun in her face a shotgun wedding is isn't usually the man yeah it isn't usually the groom going up with somebody with a shotgun we're getting married is that usually the father of the bride because he's knocked her up

I didn't know that I didn't knock her up for like 13 years nice how long have you and Abby been together total time 22 years 22 years more than half my life

that's great that's a great thing to have had in your life 22 years. 22 years. More than half my life. That's great. That's a great thing to have had in your life. Nice. You know everything about each other. What if you don't? What if there's a... Well, she doesn't know about me and Halle Berry. And neither does Halle Berry.

Who saved Shumka? I get that a lot. Yeah, so I met my wife through, I got a referral from other women and like, yeah, this guy doesn't seem terrible. And then we started dating. And then 10 years later we got married.

And then three or four years, we had our first kid and then they had a global pandemic. And then my wife and i had another baby during we had a lockdown baby named freddie oh nice freddie's a good name that's fun um i'm surprised that when i hear stories like that because like for me i mean we were we were pretty sure we were going to stop it too anyway but like uh having a global pandemic was like the the that really sealed it like i do not want yeah like the the the idea of having more people locked down in this house also if the is there anything less

sexy than a pandemic like a pandemic can really uh soften up well we didn't do anything we just locked in and just drank too much wine and all of a sudden there was a baby that's amore like we didn't make bread we didn't make DJ playlists like you do out there in Vancouver it's Montreal man

we make love we make love out here we're not like time to make my DJ playlist time to make my sourdough we did make a lot of DJ playlists after this show I'm going to make a Disney punk playlist yeah

it'll be my first for Spotify and I don't know why anybody would do that you might just have to check YouTube really yes that's true I'm sure me first in the gimme gimmes must have covered a Disney song or two. So that's something to dip my toe into. Anyways, you guys. What's your favorite Disney song, Graham?

As the only non-father. As a non-father, I think I really... From Aladdin, A Friend Like Me. That one's a pretty good jam. The genie song. Huh song that's your favorite that's your favorite yeah i think so huh how do i put the how do i raise my hand here oh mike would like to speak i really need to speak right now can you ask me that same question mike as someone with no kids what's your favorite disney song i have two kids oh well it's not the same question, is it?

It's not. Sorry. I love Show Yourself. What a killer song. Is that from Frozen 2? It's from Frozen 2. It's when she finally gets to Ahtohallan, and then she realizes that water has memory, and then the memories that are calling her are the memories of her mother.

And then she gets the new dress. Because, you know, there's a new dress I have a girl by the way I have a five year old girl so like there's a new dress and she becomes the snow queen I love the idea of this in a corporate headquarter boardroom and somebody's saying like and then the

water has memory okay it's an out of Holland guy there's a six part like there's a frozen two documentary making a frozen two like i was on another french podcast they're like have you seen the have you talked about let's talk about bill cosby and i'm like have you watched six hours of the making of frozen two with your five-year-old i have is is the have you watched frozen 2 in french no okay no i haven't um do you your does your daughter uh does she speak french as well no she doesn't we we were originally in uh

french daycare and then uh there was a pandemic that we pulled her out that we moved to the west ireland which is super english and now she goes to english uh pre-kindergarten so this is in montreal if we didn't mention yes yeah yeah i live in montreal where everybody's french but i was in uh french toy story 4 weird oh yeah i'm in the french version i play keanu reeves's oh really yeah oh that's awesome yeah duke kaboom yeah so a, and it's very funny. I have a terrible French accent. You know, and I'm like a Canadian stunt driver. But because it's in French, you can have a guy with a big

accent do it. So it's quite great. I mean, they prefer it. Yeah, they were just like, it was like a secret. They were like, hey, you're going in for Thundercat, the movie. And then they brought me in. They're like, hey, Mike, sign this. It's Toy Story 4. They're like, hey, Mike. Sign this. It's Toy Story 4. They're like, yeah, sign this.

You're in Toy Story 4. And I was like, what? And you're like, what about Thundercats? I was going to be in Thundercats. It was Thundercat, or no, Thunderbird or something. It was like a secret. They were like, don't tell your agent. And I immediately called my agent. Do you think there's any

actor out there that demands that they are all the different languages and they just have the lines said to them phonetically? So I will be in every language. It would be so hard. I don't think Keanu Reeves wants to do that. I think Keanu Reeves has better things to do

than to voice the North American version of Toy Story 4. What's your favorite thing about Keanu Reeves? I like that I've heard that he, on The Matrix, he bought everybody a motorcycle. Which is a pretty cool thing to have and or just a good story to have before you sell a motorcycle. I like how good Keanu Reeves is acting with tennis balls. So, oh, yeah, yeah. He's one of the first people that wasn't mad that there was a tennis ball doing the lines.

So I remember listening. So he was really good about like, hey, deliver all your lines to this tennis ball in front of a green screen. He's like, no problem. And then I've been on set with people being really mad that they're talking to a tennis ball and then I was like Keanu Reeves wouldn't be mad at a tennis ball so that's why I like him what makes you so freaking special I like the

I've seen the pictures of him posing with fans and he's got their arm around them but he's not touching them yes that's what I would do yeah that's true because yeah I feel like if he ever ran for office they'd zoom in on him touching somebody and be like do you want this perv you know i i sometimes pose for stuff and i don't touch either because i don't know what to do and it's like

usually like uh like a woman and i'm like oh no what's my wife gonna say i can't touch a woman i've only ever touched four yes what do you do how do you operate this what is that a shoulder is she pregnant now oh god did i get her pregnant by shaking her head oh man um you you do a bunch of voiceover stuff right i do what uh what always in french or something no i'm in english i have a video game out on all platforms called uh roller champions it's roller derby and uh i'm the announcer yeah it's killer and they're trying to replace rocket league and i don't know what rocket league is rocket league the one that's like a, it's like soccer, but you're a car. Yes. It's like teams of cars

are trying to get a ball into a big arena net. Yeah. And then this is like Roller Champions is Roller Derby, and then you get together with two people from like the middle of anywhere else in the world. Then you play Roller Derby against each other and try and throw a

ball into a hoop. Nice. Last week, I remember I saw a new game called Stray came out. I want to play that. You're just a cat. I can't wait to ignore my cat, my real cat, and play Stray. And he'll just be like, no. I'm like, I'm trying to play this game

now speaking of stray something that rhymes with that is prey which is a movie you're in yes you're an actor in this movie it's coming out about the movie like i don't know when this is coming out but it's coming out august 5th which is like in two days it's out it's out it's out yeah and the reviews are in what did you think future selves uh well i was pretty i wanted more mike patterson i was disappointed oh no you were disappointed in my terrible role i i just wish there was more of you oh yeah um was spell prey for me p-r-e-y that kind okay get it because it's a predator movie but somebody's the prey is it a predator movie yes it's the fifth installation it's the fifth installment of the predator franchise what are the first four predator predator then there's predator two then there's predators then there's a predator

uh-huh and this is no alien versus predator no that doesn't exist and we don't talk about that oh okay yeah we're not allowed to talk um what uh alien versus predator two two um that's right we're not allowed to talk about that i didn't graham didn't brief me on this you didn't know i wanted it to be a surprise i didn't know this i didn't know we had someone like normally we just get like uh people who have nothing to plug i actually have something to plug that's why i got in contact with graham because i also needed a hundred dollars can i ask you what was it like working with mr predator there was two predators bro what there was two predators so like there was one who was like a creature dude and there was one who was

like a basketball player who was like you could like launch him like you know what i mean there was like the actors or these actors playing the predator so one was like a former basketball player and one was like a like a dancer actor creature guy wow wow those are the two people you meet in heaven and they're like both like seven foot one so like they'd be talking to you and you're just looking at their dongs going like you know

I just do this and you're like yes yes giant dog can we put a tennis ball on his dong I need to act against the tennis dog did you have to do any tennis ball acting no it was really um

well I had to go into a room and do like the bullet time cameras and they just did like super scans of my body and stuff but for the most part it was quite um creature like it was quite um creature like it was quite real where did you shoot this calgary and hollywood california where i bought this shirt at tarjay nice i had a little time off and i went to this place called tarjay graham you're from calgary i am from calgary. Did you see Lord Beaverbrook's school?

Did you see Graham's high school? No. That's too bad. What's Lord Beaverbrook's school? That was the school I went to. Oh, okay. I thought that sounded like a midget wrestler or something like that. Like, Lord Beaverbrook.

Yeah, like a really fancy guy. But he was like a small guy wrestler. He was just like, I am Lord Beaverbrook. anyway no that's where that's where you went to school that's amazing that's where i went to school i know it is amazing my wife's from calgary too so where'd you go to school eridre no i don't know that's a different city yeah right that's a whole different land than i'm used to yeah uh i was hoping she went to E.P. Scarlet. That's another one. Yeah, for me, I was hoping it was. Oh, God. Ah, damn it.

What's the other one I want to think of? E.P. Scarlet. That sounds, yeah, it sounds like a weird, like, skin rash. Bishop Grandin. That's what I was hoping for. Bishop Grandin, yes. There's a thing that happens on the show where if someone's from Calgary, we spend the whole episode talking about their high school. Oh, really? That's great. Okay, I'm not from Calgary.

My mother-in-law's from Calgary. Sorry. She didn't go to high school. No, she didn't go to high school. She went to high school in Germany. Oh, sure. During the war. No, after the war. Oh, after the war. No, I think her grandfather was

like 10 during the war. Okay, well, yeah, sure sure we can't criticize him no yeah he was just like yeah he was just had to take over the farm um we worked together in calgary you were on my quiz show that was tremendous you talked to my dad in the audience this is the greatest thing yeah it's true because you you and him were wearing the same shirt we were no but he bought the same sweater at costco that i had to stop wearing because so like when you buy a sweater at costco nobody tells you that they only have like four sweaters at costco and all of the old men are gonna buy that sweater so you just look like an old man like i look like your dad so i made fun of your dad for wearing that sweater. So you just look like an old man. Like I looked like your dad. So I made fun of your dad for wearing that sweater. And I was,

um, on tour in three rivers, Tours Rivière, Quebec. And on the journal, the Tours Rivière, there was a person wearing that same sweater that your dad was wearing. And the headline was like,

this guy was abandoned at the hospital by his family. So, so that's why I told him not to wear it which is just great that was um ridiculous yeah yeah yeah yeah um but i want to know more about this predator thing yeah me too oh yeah i also want to talk about buying clothes at costco so we'll come back to that actor oh you don't really do a lot right so like you gotta just like wait around you go to a different city you wait you do like you put on clothes and you're like the clothes work oh wait you gotta go put on more clothes then you gotta do like uh like learn how to fire a musket and then you just go out in

the woods and just fire muskets for like a week are we talking about acting or costco yes both they're the same thing. Costco. Have you seen that Costco, you know how they have Kirkland Signature as their brand? Yeah. Have you seen that they now have shirts that have the logo? Yeah, I bought the sweater as my Christmas sweater. Yeah. And everybody said I was stealing Matt O'Brien's stuff.

Do you know Matt O'Brien? Oh, yeah. So he wears a lot of Kirkland Signature stuff, but I also bought- All he tweets about is taking loud P's in Kirkland. And hot hot hot pisses in the Yeah, and also like he had like a small, and I bought like

the big Kirkland signature sweater. No, Matt doesn't own that. Now he, well he lives in Hollywood. It's too hot. Yeah, that's true. When would you ever get to wear the sweater? I actually, I actually saw him while I was shooting Predator, the reshoots, in hollywood is too hot yeah that's true when would you ever get to wear the sweater i actually i actually saw him while i was shooting predator the reshoots in hollywood and i hung out with him and rebecca kohler and eddie de la sepe and we talked about like where to get good like where you get

really good costco dress wear well costco would be my first stop and yeah no they don't have it's all sold out bro you gotta go online it's just crazy you gotta get it on grail you gotta get it on stock x exactly exactly you got a bit on it uh okay back to predator yeah anyway so yeah so um during the pandemic my agent and i decided to do virtual auditions more often you didn't have a kid with him as well did you no no i do not no she's a girl um my agent and i had a bottle of wine and we decided we do some virtual auditions that's all anyone is allowing anyway yeah it's great but like we were just trying to get everything we could and there was a role for a guy named big beard

who speaks french and is a french trapper back in the day i don't know if this is total but it'll be out by there's a spoiler alert i've seen the i've seen the trailer and this is i'm in the trailer you're in the trailer you're shooting a musket in the shooting a musket i'm trying to uh yeah and then i i auditioned and then then they called it skulls. And so all the lines were about there's a beast that we can't see in the forest. And then I had some green blood on a leaf and I was like, this is predator. I know what to do.

And normally I do all my my auditions with my wife in like our little like virtual room. And she has a lot of things to say about what I'm doing. Like, stop doing this. Your eyes are crazy. No wrestling acting. Get me pregnant. Get me pregnant every five years. So she has a lot to say.

But this one, I was like, don't tell me anything. I know exactly what to do. So I had my eyes completely out of my head i was acting like a wrestler uh well yeah and i just act it was great and at a certain point i remember being on set and then somebody saying yeah they really don't want wrestling acting and i was like too late you're the director right nope it's too late i'm sorry is that a note you've heard before from me oh well just like is is it common on sets to be like oh this guy's wrestling acting no no when i'm on set people go oh don't do the macho man please why not we don't blame craft services for supplying all these slim jams exactly so i've gotten that a lot but on um on prey i did not get a lot

of tone it down please now you auditioned for it and they called it what they call skulls yeah what is this and you when you did toy story it was thunderbird yes is how common is it now for auditions to be... Secret. Phony baloney. Yeah, totally. I say secret, you say phony baloney. I'm just worried about... That's called the whole thing, huh? Yeah, exactly.

I'm worried about Fox. Yeah, it happens a lot that you just get an audition for something and you're like, what is this? Okay. Because I work at... The office that i work in is right next to a casting agency okay and it's all hallmark movies and they're just like completely like you can see down the street that they're doing a hallmark movie they're not they're not private about it at all so i have a bunch of logs that look like santa claus because i auditioned for um for hallmark movies all the time i have like a lot of logs that are like painted like santa claus

because like there's so many times that are like you know you're you know mrs derosier needs to see you again you know she's like i know you're a big city girl now but like why don't you go talk to mrs derosier that's like okay i guess so then she learns the magic at christmas nice there was one i watched around christmas called an ice wine christmas and uh there's not ever every three sentences is about ice wine we have in canada we have we don't have the hallmark channel we have w which is short for women for women's a women's channel. And they show all the Lifetime movies and the Hallmark movies. Sorry, whenever anybody

mentions the W channel, I have to open a beer. It's an aha. Yeah, you gotta chug it. Women's Network, don't women get enough? No macho man acting. Oh, sorry, sorry. And as far as I can tell, the channel is

just these kinds of movies and like the property brothers maybe but just like taking their shirts off but they just had their Christmas in July festival where they showed just Hallmark Christmas movies all month

I mean that does it for me yeah yeah me too do they do halloween ones um they must christmas the only time they do they must do valentine's no yeah they do them constantly but like christmas is the like that's the big scene we were debating at work whether these count as romantic comedies because they're not funny ice wine christmas was hilarious oh yeah but for different reasons i knew uh somebody who created an ice ice wine company and then um had to sell it because like it got so popular so this is like maple ice wine and now they make a cider and their cider is not as good as their ice wine and i remember being like hey that's great and then like oh no we don't make ice wine anymore because we sold the company now we have this and i was like

what is this and i spent the entire corporate show just yelling about how terrible the cider was to the company that makes no that makes a different company but they just supplied the drinks and the drinks cider and i'm like you can't make cider in quebec i don't know a ton about ice wine uh graham do you know anything what i know is the whole movie about it yeah it's uh the frost it's something to do with the frost yeah it makes the grape sweeter but you don't the bottles are a lot smaller yes smaller bottles what mike what do you know about ice wine as someone who really liked some well it's great you keep it in your fridge uh it gets you a real toasted up kind of thing like it's a cold stuff and then you feel like whoa that's crazy would you drink it because the one

time i had it i was served it after dinner in like a shot glass and it was cold as cold as balls yeah yeah sure that's how you gotta drink it and yeah but like do you i was pretty young and like pretty inexperienced with alcohol so i don't know what i don't know if i liked it but i was happy to have it like what makes it good like how much do you drink do you just have the one shot do you do you know we drank no we drank a few of them we would always have some and it was called uh sort of and they also made like a cream liqueur and maple it was all maple stuff cream liqueur it was maple yeah maple and like they had like a kind of like a maple um yeah like a creme de mouth kind of thing that you could put in your coffee instead of everything maple out there

everything's maple it's crazy the mayor of montreal is just a maple tree she's like like one of those trees from the wizard of us exactly exactly she's really good she makes a lot of bike bike lanes um she's like let's not cut down any more trees stop using cars um montreal was way out ahead of uh everybody when it came to like renting those rental bike things that you rented with your credit card heck yeah yeah montreal was there first i think because i'd never seen it before i went oh. Oh, buddy, yeah, it's a French town. You rent them and you get a little, it has a basket with a

baguette on the front. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You get a little striped shirt and a beret. It's just a kit on top of the bike. Yeah, you can also rent cigarettes. It was very easy. I'm like, you know, you know.

Yeah, we had the Bixies. It was great. big oh yeah pixie bikes and now they're everywhere it's pretty great do you guys have the scooters the motorized scooters no oh that was just ridiculous they had them in calgary during prey and um there was like a lot of people um injuring themselves yeah uh on the movie um there would be like like actors would be like oh i fell off one of those birds last night or something you know you scrape my whole face scrape my seven foot dog it doesn't matter we're all like we're all like playing like trappers and like you know like first nation warriors anyway so like there was like a big like lot of war paint and stuff so uh-huh right would cover but there does need to be some scrape continuity oh i know i did do a movie with john malkovich and i had like the weekend off and

my wife and i finally got to like sit down and just relax because i was working a lot and she sat down and she elbowed me in the eye and gave me a black eye when she just sat down on our stupid couch on our crooked condo in montreal and so i had to go back two days later and then i told the makeup artist i was like i have a black eye and i need you to hide it i need you to not tell the director and she uh said no i will hide it but i'm going to tell the director and i was like okay and they're like what happened i'm like my wife hit me all i'm gonna do is give you two black eyes yeah i always like when like a professional athlete gets injured in like the worst, the stupidest way. And they have to like take six months off.

Like, oh, I picked up my baby weird. Or I remember Joe Sackick almost lost his finger in a snowblower. And then that was ridiculous. Oh my God, that would be so terrible. Do you have any, have you had any dad injuries dave um i mean the kids are just constantly stepping on my testicles but yeah no um no i no none that come to mind i've been like i i mean unless i'm forgetting something obvious graham but uh not like i, nothing that I can think of.

Have you, Mike? Oh yeah. All the time. When, how old were you when you had your first child? 43. So that, like I, I went to, I had my first one at 33. Okay. Uh, so I, like a few months ago I went to a trampoline, uh, whatever playhouse with the kids and we went on the trampolines and I was like, oh my God, I'm, this hurts so much.

Imagine if I had had kids later, like having to do this stuff. I rolled my ankle at a trampoline house and then I went to physio for like a month. Yeah. Cause I went to a trampoline and now I just have like, I go to phys all the time i fucked up my neck doing go-karts yeah that was a hard one to go to physio and explain how because you were just looking behind because you were just winning because when you get the blue shell was coming for you um yeah but it's embarrassing i think i tried to make up something else and they were like what that doesn't sound right i was like all right you caught me it was go-karts um which is you know why you shouldn't do them as an adult they're good for kids i wobble i my friend for his 10th

birthday went to go-kart like we had a party in richmond british columbia we went to go-kart like we had a party we in richmond british columbia we went to go-karts the greatest so much fun uh we were there for so long and i told my dad i was like we gotta go back this was can you please take me to go-karts one day and he and i went like a few months later maybe a year later and it was so not fun. It was like, I think at the birthday party, they had given us extra time. Right.

And so like we, I remember going with my dad and it was like 10 minutes and we were done and it was not fun. And I was, I felt bad for him. I was like, sorry. I kind of,

I sold you a bill of goods goods i told you this would be cool my first date with my wife was at go-karts really indoor outdoor indoor indoor i think indoor is crazy there's so many yeah yeah but you get a little indoor outdoor dave this was outdoor outdoor is i think that's the preferable this is uh who is ivan decker has a joke about oh driving on the highway and seeing a sign for go-karts you get out of your big car and go in a little car and get out at ivan decker he's got it you know what i mean he's whatever that quality is he's got it yeah i saw him in calgary i was at the laugh shop all the time while i was oh yeah right how long how long did it take to film all three months

three months you must be in a lot of the movie i know yeah i'm probably in like 15 minutes of the movie who's the who's the uh headliner who's the amber mid thunder amber mid thunder amber mid thunder so it's a uh it's a first nations movie so it's like uh who are the best warriors of all time right i gotta go with amber mid thunder yeah it's like but it's like the comanche nation so like people are always asking like the the director of the movie like i don't know if you saw the first predator there was like billy yeah who's like the the native dude and then um so when he just like cuts himself and says like i'm gonna fight the predator i'm not i'm just gonna fight him let's fight um then we don't even see the fight and so the whole point of this movie was like what would happen if we got to see the fight with billy so it's back in time it's like in the 1700s it's um uh like uh like a predator comes down and

is hunting uh comanche warriors okay it's like that show uh the spike tv show which it'll be ninjas or yeah the romans versus predator Graham, how many Predator movies have you seen? Because I've only seen one. I think I've seen all of them. Okay. And there's a big kind of dip from number one to number two, because number one has Arnold Schwarzenegger, and then number two has Danny Glover.

And Danny Glover was 15 years after he was too old for this shit and used a weapon. And now he was too old for that, and then a Predator And now he was too old for that. And then a predator comes. It was the best. I love that's my favorite one. What was the third one? Mike predators, predators.

Yes. That was the one that was Topher Grayson, Adrian Brody. Exactly. What a great one. That's the only one I've seen. Is it really? Yeah.

Where they go to planet predator. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's not. It's just a planet that the predators have to just throw a bunch of people well i remember a scene where they went to a predator shop and uh they brought some nice predator sweaters for each other and they were like oh try to blend in and they all try and make yourself hello sir i'm i too have a predator oh yeah where'd you go to high school lord predator brook ep whatever um lord little brooks in calgary be our editor that's where i

went to high school um dave what's going on with you man what's going on with you, man? What's going on with me? Hell yeah Well, Graham and I recorded two episodes in a week And that's why we got a week off Yeah So last week I was on vacation This is my vacation week Yeah, you're slipping sliding And what I do when I vacation

Is I go to Abby's parents' house on Gabriola Island. Far, far away from here. Two ferry trips away. And away from the hustle and bustle. Yeah. It's not like you get there and then it's, oh, more grind. No, it really is away from it all. Yeah.

And they have a wonderful house on a beach. And we did a lot of kayaking. I was, there was a seal in the water near me when I was kayaking. That's pretty good. It was, we had a heat wave here. How hot is it in Montreal?

Hot. Any human? Yeah. It's not that hot here. It's not. Well, how, what is it in

Montreal like what is it today I have no idea let me do you want me to look at my app yep let me pull up yes please right now is the according to the weather network it is 26 degrees

feels like 32 partly cloudy I don't know this past week was 31 feels like 32, partly cloudy. I don't know. This past week was 31 feels like 36. Okay. But it's like 9 o'clock at night right now. So like today might have been a lot more, you know? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm going to open my weather app and see what tomorrow looks like for Montreal.

25 is going to be great. Oh, that sounds good. It's 25 here right now, but it feels like 30. I don't know what that means. Today is the first... You have a heat dome as far as I understand. You do? No, you guys do. You had a heat dome. We did a year ago.

I don't think this counts as one. You didn't build that like your mayor didn't say like, let's put a heat dome to make it warmer. No, that's the opposite of what we want. We had a, today is the first day where it feels like running the air conditioning is winning. It was like fighting with the heat for a long time. And today it's like, okay, air conditioning is winning. Yeah.

And I had no such. I just was fans from room to room fans and oh man if i'm out of town you can come use my air conditioning okay i i uh i agree to your terms keeping in mind i'm never leaving town again and also don't invite anybody over don't have a party just because just because dave's out of town air conditioning party um so yeah so but like yeah the when i pack for a trip i'm always like oh i wonder if it will rain maybe i should bring a pair of pants and a hoodie and a raincoat and that was stupid yeah and you guys don't care about rain out there i I worked with a guy from Vancouver, Nelson,

and, uh, it was like, I know them, you know, him. Yeah. It was his name,

Nelson, or was he from Nelson? No, he was, his name was Nelson, but he, uh, he was just walking.

I was like, we better get our umbrellas out. It's raining. He's like, nah, this happened. And like, we were in Calgary and it was like really coming down.

And then we found out when we got home that it was like a tornado warning. But he just was like, it is nothing. It's nothing compared to the rain. You are nothing. I'll warn you. I'll end you. We still have to finish our walk. Get in my heat dome.

Yeah, get in my heat dome. So yeah, I had a nice week off very relaxing A house with Four dogs Two of whom are under two years old Or three of whom are under two years old So craziness So it was a little bit chaotic

On that front but I was able to like Sleep in till nine. Nice. What's, what's the, um, swimming situation for the dogs? Uh, the dogs are into it, but not like crazy about it. They're like, they're not freaked out by going in the ocean. It was nice. Cause like you, you, the, I don't know how tides work, but they seem to come in every day at about five.

Something with the moon. I think it's the moon. But it's not the same every day. I guess it's because the moon isn't like exactly 28 days. Yeah. There's some kind of station on the moon that pulls up the water. Yeah. They have a, they have a guy there who.

They have a guy there like, time to make time. Yeah. He's got a big ranch yeah yeah um and so they uh so yeah but like can i tell you my alternate thing all right my alternate joke for that i don't know how times work well you put them in your laundry machine yeah everything clean and if you want you can have them as a tasty snack I don't know which joke was better so I'm just doing both I'm sure you can just edit one of those jokes out we'll select we'll put it to the audience we'll see which one the audience likes better

text 59001 for the Tide Pod thing and 59002 for what was it a guy who was on the moon he's alone on the moon just running the tides like can I bring a companion

no but do you have like I have no idea how tides work like I don't I don't know I know that they're not the same every day I know that like but they they they're about the same like if like if we so we were on the island for a week and tide came in at dinner time every day but like right like the at the start of the week it came in at five at the end of the week it came in at seven um and i know that there's like a big

high tide and a big low tide every day but also a small high tide and a small low tide and then there's rip tides just to throw in oh yeah sure if you're vance joy over here is that fun for anyone um the uh so yeah that was that was fun um the one thing I like to do when I go visit my in-laws is I like to do a puzzle. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, and so the day before we left, I went to, there's a couple of places I go to, to look for puzzles and I didn't find the puzzles I liked.

I didn't find anything I liked. There were a bunch of art puzzles. I hate art. Yeah, down with art. Mike, are you a puzzle guy? Are you a game guy? What are you? My wife is a puzzle person, and I'm just a...

Yeah, I'm a Lego person. Okay. I just put together an Encanto playset with my daughter but i don't do anything like advanced what is incanto that's a disney movie oh okay do you not watch disney movies all the time with children um yeah i do with children the parents hate it that i'm there but i hate this one secret this guy does can i, can I come over and watch? Yeah. No, yeah. I don't play a lot of games.

I mostly play whatever is in front of my kids. Right now, I have a one-year-old, so I get a bunch of markers and put them on the floor. Then I have a juice bottle that I've taken the top of, and then he puts all the markers in the juice bottle that doesn't have juice in it. Then I pour all the markers out, then he puts them back in again that sounds pretty good that's challenging yeah not easy he's really good at it i don't think i get it um so i the the day before we left i was like okay i'm gonna get a puzzle and i go to these a couple stores that i know that i always get puzzles that they didn't have what i wanted and then I noticed that there's a toy store in our neighborhood that I walk past every day. Yeah.

Caboodles. Um, and they, uh, in the window of this toy store, there was a Garfield puzzle and it's, I've been staring at it for months and I was like, I'll just buy this Garfield puzzle.

Yeah. And the only thing, the only trade off can't do it on Monday. Yeah. Um, and the, uh, The only thing, the only trade-off Can't do it on Monday Yeah! Exactly And the Let me tell you the story of this puzzle So it's

Well, first of all, it was in the window of this Of the toy store Of Kaboodles Are they sponsoring this episode? Kaboodles is not um yeah this episode is sponsored by target get all your weird uh shirts and hats there and also costco get your weird shirts and also a bad sweater yes um but they they had uh it was in the window of the store and so and i had to like i i went to the store and I kind of browsed their puzzles.

And I was like, I really want the one in the window to like reach through all the other puzzles and pull this one out. And it was so, the box was so sun bleached. I was like, this isn't going to be a good guide for when I actually do the puzzle. But it's the, the scene was garfield or dogs playing poker okay od's playing poker no no od just a bunch of realistic looking dogs and then cartoon garfield at the front of the frame holding up five aces garfield's done it he's obviously cheating he's he's a he's a known cheater known cheater he's about to get uh shot in the face but it's only known for like two things hating mondays and liking lasagna oh he loves lasagna he doesn't like normal that's the

that's yeah he doesn't like od doesn't like yeah he doesn't like od doesn't like john very much i don't think yeah okay he's known for five things three of them are disliking three separate entities like i read so many garfields when i was a kid like my kids would find it so boring like yeah yeah there's nothing going on yeah because it's usually three going on panels and the panels there's nothing in the background they don't do background only foreground my kids like this this uh comic strip that we have books i've called cat wad yeah okay which is very garfield-esque but not as funny i gotta i gotta go to bat for garfield in this one but not as funny i gotta i gotta go to bat for garfield in this one would you show your kids garfield and see if they like no i will not until they're 18 on their wedding night i had a garfield

joke for a while because um my joke was um you know tim hortons got uh lasagna you know tim hortons got lasagna before uh tim hortons was full of fat white people now it's gonna be full of fat orange cats um and then i i was on a french um kind of like show on music plus which is like mtv but shitty um yeah so like we have uh uh shitty yeah we'd have uh you'd have what's her name Mitsu would you have Roch Vazine was he big in high rotation it was a French show where we would watch

videos and like we'd watch a Metallica video and there would be like some old man and they'd say James Hetfield and he'd be like I'm James Hetfield'd say, James Hetfield. And he'd be like, I'm James Hetfield. And I was the announcer of the show, but I always had to tell a joke. And I told that joke to the host and he had no idea who Garfield

was. And he yelled at me and it was great. He was just like, Garfield. And somebody would be like, he was very mad at the Anglophone for bringing up an Anglophone and then we're like, all right, let's start the show. And that was in the show.

It's really great. Wow. Speaking of which, Garfield phone, right? Yeah. The thing that you wanted the most as a kid. Oh, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. Heathcliff. The Garfield phone was what didn't they discover like a shipping container for all the

garfield phones a couple years ago no did they like a like a dead stock garfield phones just been sitting there oh my god anyway so i get this puzzle yeah all right yes back to the yeah and this is this is like my night oh actually you know what it was my daytime and nighttime activity um where's dave you know he's in the where's it's more where's dad he's doing that weird cat puzzle that cat we don't understand that cat that's not funny puzzle um and uh this is the first time oh you know what last time actually never mind last time i went to Abby's parents' place, I didn't finish the puzzle. Right. And I just gave up and I left it there.

But this puzzle was very hard. And I also did. The Garfield one? Yeah, the Garfield one was very hard because there's so many, like, the realistic dogs that are painted. Painted ones are just like, there's so many so like the realistic dogs that are painted painted ones are just like there's so many textures right the whole outside of it was a picture frame so it's all the same oh yeah colors along the outside so that took a whole day wow and then the uh the dogs the the the textures of the fur looks so similar.

So I did not finish this puzzle, but I got far, far enough. And I liked it enough that I, I did something that I've never done before. I packed it up in like almost finished pieces and put it back in the container and brought it home. And I'm going to finish this puzzle at home. You don't have a RoloPuzz? I actually do, but I don't like the texture of it because it's hard to slide the pieces along it. Now, we all know what a RoloPuzz is,

but maybe for the listener. It's the sponsor of the show this week. Ladies and gentlemen, if you want to keep your puzzle in uh the almost done form uh you get a rollo puzzle you put the puzzle on the form you can roll it up in a texture that dave doesn't like i mean isn't it like a green felt yes do you does your wife have one yes my wife does my wife is a was a puzzler keep her mouth out of my name um but uh i'd i'd prefer to do mine on just like a flat um uh board sure that i can pick up and move but not this time you asked me before if i liked puzzling and i actually um one recent development over the past month and a half is over the past couple of years, I realized that I don't like puzzles.

I actually don't like reading books anymore. And then a couple of months ago, I just realized that things were fuzzy and I couldn't see things properly. So I was obviously dying. And I have a brain aneurysm that's forming in my brain but turns out i need reading glasses oh yeah so it took me a long time so i actually might like puzzles now that i bought my costco reading glasses so i might like costco does it all holy costco that's why they're a sponsor of the show like graham when you go to costco you need glasses i get get several pairs. Yeah.

I get one giant pair, but I actually might like one giant pair of glasses. One giant lens or you and your wife just have to hold up the glasses together. Graham, how's your wife? How's my wife? She's all right. Real puzzler.

She's a real puzzler. But because I, yeah, my wife was just like, you're not dying. You probably have, you probably need reading glasses. Real puzzler. She's a real puzzler. But because I, yeah, my wife was just like, you're not dying. You probably have, you probably need reading glasses. And I did. So I'm not dead.

So you got them and you weren't like, no, I'm still dying. I got them. But I'm like, oh, I can read again. This is weird. I just thought I didn't like reading as much because I kept like, I was trying to read like the Judas Priest autobiography. And I was just like, I don't like this. I don't like uh the judas priest uh autobiography and i was just like i don't like this i don't like this i wish this was about a an orange cat yes exactly i wish this was three panels of lasagna and then you go to like two panels with lasagna then the third one

where's the lasagna now you guys boy i wish we could go we could mention garfield without mentioning this you guys did you ever read the Garfield or John Drinks Jizz? Yeah, it was one of my all-time faves. It's a really good one. Do you not know it? No.

Is that really a thing? No, I don't know. I'm just going to pull it up so I get it right. Here's the first panel. John, they're the vet and beautiful woman veterinarian.

She's holding Garfield and John says, and John is picking up a cup and he says, have a cup of coffee, John. Thanks. Don't mind if I do. And then he drinks this cup and the vet says uh congratulations mr arbuckle you're gonna give birth to a fine healthy litter of puppies oh no and garfield says i hate puppies so it's dog jizz to me to confirm what a narcissist like garfield doesn't even care that his owner drank jizz and he's just like i don't how does this affect me i thought you were gonna say john was a narcissist just

assuming this cup of dog semen is his coffee right of course that's true they're all narcissists now if this if he's drinking coffee then what am i what am i jizzing into yeah i side note sidebar uh but i was just remembering one like and when i lived in when i went to college i lived in the dorms and like the getting delivery food was, it never happened. There was a place in Victoria, uh, where the, a guy came to campus and delivered pizzas,

but he just like, you didn't order them. The guy just knew he would sell a hundred pizzas that night at $5 for, for a small pizza. Uh, uh, but one time my girlfriend was visiting me yeah and i was like let's order chinese food to the dorm and my uh my roommate was like

he was like i heard that one time someone they did a test on some chinese food and it turns out there were eight different kinds of animal cum in it they did they did some tests on some chinese food and who are these racists they're like we have to test only chinese food yeah and only for semen yeah that's right we've got the semenometer what do you think folks clapping you think there's a lot of semen in this yeah oh god an eight eight different kinds but i um so i i i that really kind of tainted the meal for me and sure yeah my girlfriend and i broke up uh but uh the uh then it i didn't even consider it like later i was like no way

like it's so expensive to get animal semen yeah like why would you waste it on 30 of dave's chinese food and why would you buy animals and then jerk them off and then butcher them and then put them in your your food yeah like if you're if you're doing animal husbandry this is this is like liquid gold you do not want to just no you do not want it to end up in your chicken chow main yeah yeah exactly i was told that heineken had the most p in it of any beer as i was drinking a heineken i think somebody told me once that corona was the only mexican beer that they tested for p or feces or something like that how did it test uh negative i know that for a fact and the corona is made down the street in the molson factory down the

street oh the hell and do they have like a just a public urinal outside they're like do we have anybody that needs to piss like we have to make some corona yeah we need it in it in this 60 men for 60 minute pissed in a bucket it's just it's just so hard to get it's not like it's if you needed pee it would just be hard to get it like people don't just pee wherever they wherever they can well and it's like if you imagine you had to you were doing drugs and had to take a p test i don't know i don't know where i would go i don't know who i would be uh comfortable asking for them to pee for me for clean pee for clean pee yeah yeah yeah um isn't there like an app clean pee are you looking for clean pee in your area we can pissers in your area

piss donors are waiting just to piss in a cup for you yeah single women in your area just the employment opportunities that do you have clean pee we now need you to get on our team um i have pretty clean pee. It smells like piss, though. Yeah. So, yeah, I had a nice week off on the island. It was great. But the puzzle, the puzzle's not done.

The puzzle's not going to get done this week. I got too much things to do, too many things to do post-vacation. Oh, yeah. Too busy this week. But I look forward to finishing the puzzle. Yeah, I hope you do. I'm rooting for you. post vacation. Oh yeah. Busy this week, but, uh,

look forward to finishing the puzzle. Yeah. I hope you do. I, uh, I'm rooting for you. Thank you. And,

uh, and Mr. Field, um, first name, car, last name, field,

middle name, orange cat. Um, yeah, I, what's up with you? I spent a lot of time sweating it out, sweating it out. And the real, like, what's the, there's a movie, is it Do the Right Thing, where everything's like super hot? No, it's.

It is Do the Right Thing. Yeah, it's super hot. But there's another one I'm thinking of that was about Son of Sam. Summer of Sam? Is it Predator 2? Yeah, Summer of Sam. Is it there's another one I'm thinking of that was about Son of Sam. Summer of Sam? Is it Predator 2? Yeah, Summer of Sam. Is it Predator 2 with Danny Glover? It's hot for this shit.

But the Predator only fights in hot environments, so it's like the hottest time in LA. Oh, yeah, that's true. I've never seen him in a cold, cold climate. His apparatus wouldn't. It would just be all metal and seizing up and up. No, he did go in Aliens vs. Predator. He went to the Arctic. And then did he go to Manhattan?

I guess he didn't. No, he went to Los Angeles. That was Jason. That was Jason or the Muppet. The Great Predator Caper. So you were thinking of the Summer of Sam movie with uh john lugisiamo yeah lugisiamo heck of a movie yeah i just remember it being hot it was good was that spike lee as well

oh i don't know that i don't what are the best like hot movies of all time well there's those two there's the smooth video uh featuring santana and rob thomas um there's uh i feel like yeah cocoon is probably hot i feel like chinatown's pretty steamy it's los angeles it's kind of hot he's kind of blotting their forehead oh anything that takes place in louisiana like uh you know like a uh grisham john grisham book that was hot oh the volcano erupting with man rango's pretty hot rango's hot oh yeah yeah absolutely um yeah the uh uh i forgot what i was gonna say but it was gonna be good be good. Anyways, I sweated out and I think

I probably lost a pound or two. But then I did something real heavy. You know what? I was just thinking about this movie lately. It's your dad's favorite movie, Graham.

Oh, not Cool Hand Lukeke it's cool hand it's cool hand luke okay yeah uh and there's a scene where the the prisoners are all they're like on a chain gang and they're like digging a ditch or something yeah and right next to them is a woman a sexy lady washing her car yeah they're all like asking permission to wipe their foreheads from the the guy running the chain gang from the horny sweat yeah from the horny sweat and like i need to take a drink um i uh watched uh of mice and men i watched a part of it and there's i wonder if that's where the horny farmer's daughter thing came from or if it's just the john malkovich with the mike's friend

john malkovich yeah and uh and uh a tiny gary sinise okay and uh that right away as soon as they come to the the farm to work she's on them right away the first day they're in the bunkhouse who plays her i've never seen her before before or again but uh the like do you think that that's just something that's always been around since like farms or is that something like that trope of the the gal on the farm that uh trying to seduce a traveler or a farm hand or something like that feels like as old as time right oh it's sherilyn fenn from um twin peaks uh yes um anyways so i was in a movie with sherilyn fenn well one swindle i've been in so many movies that nobody's seen it was tom sizemore dave foley and i played an elvis impersonator bad guy that tells tom

sizemore like this is where everything is you want to get in you want to get in this car you want to get in this car game and then tom sizemore is in deep cover he's a cop is he also a bad guy no he was a good guy pretending to be a bad guy coming into the bad guys to get all the bad guys because tom sizemore has to be a bad guy dave foley was the bad guy it was awesome he was like a real spoiler alert swindle spoiler alert yeah yeah this movie that nobody saw in 2001. Nobody cared about. Yeah. But Sherilyn Fenn was really nice.

Yeah. Well, I'm happy to hear it. She was in Boxing Helena. Yeah. Terrible. They boxed her. Yeah, they boxed her. The guy from Arachnophobia boxed her.

Yes. I'm going to put you in a box. Don't put me in a box. What was the plot of that? She was in a box. He cut her arms and legs off. I haven't seen it. It was much like the first two Predators. I haven't seen it. Have you seen Boxing Helena

2? The unboxing. Danny Glover getting boxed. I haven't seen it. Have you seen Boxing Helena 2? It's terrible. Danny Glover? Danny Glover getting boxed. Anyway, Graham, you were going somewhere. I'm so sorry. I'm the worst podcast guest of all time. No, that's not true. Not by a country mile.

Oh, it was great! To us, you're the seductive farm girl to our farm hands which is that what you want to talk about was the trope how long it was of mice and men no no no uh no also i i managed to skip town for a couple days before the heat wave started and i came back exactly when it started but i went on an island and I didn't bring any underwear with me so I had to go buy underwear on the way

and there's a store that I don't know if you guys would be familiar with it used to be everywhere how long were you away just a couple days do you make a list of what to pack this is not how your brain works

no i uh i'm usually perfect at packing but this time i was uh i was doing it like last last minute so i just i threw in things that i definitely wasn't gonna use like the same as you like a rain jacket and a pair of pants like what the hell but uh forgot underwear so had to buy some underwear and uh it's tough when you're because you know what underwear do you wear i wear uh extra husky okay and it's gonna be a reinforced waistband because there's so much hair down there there's as much hair down there as is on his face so it's like extra husky just like it gives a nice comfort from where all the hair yeah yeah um it's got special tuck technology it's called a crotch beard yeah thank you you're welcome nobody talks about crotch beard but if

you're if you're in a big city and you don't pack any underwear, you just go to the next whatever. You go to the Target, you go to the Costco, whatever you get. But on an island, they don't have that kind of stuff. But luckily, they had a store that I thought had completely vanished off the face of the earth. You can only find them in small towns. It's called Fields. Have you ever been to Fields? I thought you were going to fields i was i thought you were gonna say san i love the sand it's like sand feels like sand yeah it's like kind of like an

upscale what would you say like an upscale kind of army and navy yeah army and navy mixed with like a dollar store sure kind of like everything had clothes but they also have like just random things i bought a huge birthday card like a huge novelty birthday card okay because i've never seen one before i've used it as underwear yeah so i just cut some like things it isn't worth it birthday was where my my crotch beard was the only brand of underwear slash socks that they had were haynes which i don't think i've ever owned a haynes oh they're they're good yeah they are i liked what i got yeah i thought you're gonna say fruit of the loom oh yeah i guess that's kind of haynes fruit of the loom honestly i couldn't tell yeah it's the same company yeah um no i got a uh nice uh package

of underwear bought some socks too while i was there giant uh birthday card you ever get like a package of underwear in like like a haynes uh from the store that that's in plastic and it's resealable yes like that that's gonna be the right way to put them back in. I'll see you at Christmas. You say, and you put them in the drawer. Yeah. And also,

uh, there's always a picture of a dude on the box and he, they don't have to show how ripped he is. They could just show a waist down, but what? Oh, they go a couple of inches above just to show how ripped he is they could just show a waist down but what no they go a couple inches above just to show how ripped this guy was c-word gutters yeah um the uh it's weird that they only size it by waist they don't like there's no dong yeah yeah exactly

what's uh what dong size are you well probably extra large i guess are we talking flaccid girl we talking flaccid um so i went to a fields which i like honestly it was like if i found out that there was still a zellers somewhere just like operating independently and then i realized the last time i had been in a field, probably like 15 years ago, also there to buy underwear. That's the only other time I've been. I know the island you're at. Salt Spring Island. Salt Spring Island.

And I just Googled Salt Spring Fields. When you said they had a field, I assumed it had been there since 1974. That's what i imagine too but when i just googled it it said salt spring field store set to open this summer on an article dated may 4th 2021 they're still opening fields they're like where can we penetrate the market yeah where where are people most likely to forget underwear and also have a company christmas or birthday party they're going to who's got a funny aunt yeah uh anyways uh i just uh was glad to meet up with my old friend fields i'm glad they're

still producing uh uh you know shops and uh i wish them nothing but the best mike uh are you born and raised in montreal uh i moved around a lot i was born in montreal but i also lived in uh boston indiana california santa cruz california and all sorts of my parents were crazy what did your parents do that around i don't know they just kept like chasing a dream they're like maybe we can get something over here maybe we can you know so it's kind of hard so it's kind of like yeah so they were they were where did your parents end up uh back in montreal but in like a suburb of montreal like in the north what um what was the uh is there like a that kind of store in montreal oh yeah absolutely what's it called uh there's a few of them there's something called crotto pretty good let's go to crotto yeah rossi was another one oh yeah i've heard of rossi same things you know but like yeah and uh yeah

that was pretty much it crotto was a good place i'm like i'm not gonna get my clothes from crotto we're gonna look poor but we were poor so like you know what i mean we still had so much moving expenses yeah i know yeah the one out this way that was like the discount store that you got all the all you know the kids stuff i'm sure the adults shop somewhere else but it was uh byway that was the one in calgary growing up was byway uh it's uh not there anymore the fields moved in kicked them out yeah yeah fields came in we were gonna tell you this shitty stuff oh we also have giant tiger oh yeah we don't We don't have giant tigers. Yeah. So that's pretty good. You can buy like stuff at the giant tiger.

Yeah. You get a fishing net. You can get some cool sunglasses. You get like a toy that'll work for like 30 seconds. Yeah, 30 second toy. Like a toy from a movie that's been out for a long, long time. Like the original Spider-Man toy. Garfield phones.

You can get them. Do you guys want to move on to a bit of business? Sure. Hey, it's John Moe, host of Depress Mode, a podcast about people's mental health journeys. Guess who we got? Guess who? It's Jamie Lee Curtis. I look at life now as the game of guess who, which is simply the process of elimination.

I know what I don't like. That's how I found out who I am. Jamie Lee Curtis on addiction, show business, and fooling people. All on Depresh Mode from Maximum Fun, wherever you get your podcasts. Well, Manolo, we have a show to promote. It's called Dr. Game Show. It's a family-friendly podcast where listeners submit games and we play them with callers from around the world. Oh, sounds good.

New episodes happen every other Wednesday on MaximumFun.org. It's a fast and loose oasis of absurd innocence and naivete are you writing a poem no and just saying things from my memory and uh it's a nice break from reality is that are we allowed to say that i don't know it sounds bad it comes with a 100 happiness guarantee it does not come for the games and stay for the chaos. Overheard. Overheard segment. You know, a lot of times in life, you're sitting close enough to a person to hear what they're talking about.

Or maybe they're talking really loud and you're sitting far away from them. But either way, you hear what they're talking about. Or maybe they're talking really loud and you're sitting far away from them. But either way, you hear what they're saying and sometimes it's funny. And when it is, we want it here on this show. If you have a good one, you can send it in to sby at maximumfund.org. We always like to start with the guest. Mike, will you please lead the

charge of the overheards? It's not something I overheard. It's something that was texted to me by my dad. Now, my mom and dad are divorced um but how many moves yeah so yeah so many moves so like my dad is in uh residence right now and he was uh this is something that uh i overheard my dad texting me it's like at my age it's difficult for me to say that i have a girlfriend because to me, that means that I have a solid relationship that is romantic. But to me, saying that I have a lady friend seems more casual

and we wouldn't even hold hands or live together. And I can have several lady friends, but it would be unhealthy to have more than one girlfriend. I do have an eight-year-old friendship with Julie, but I call her my lady friend. Although we go on dates, I will have to see how it works out with my new friend, Michelle. I have a tentative rendezvous with her tomorrow.

I can't wait to see her again. So this is the kind of information I'm getting from my dad. And I don't think he understands the wrong name who is well it's uh how old is your dad 78 and he is fighting off these women i guess so what did you does he text you a lot uh yeah he used to email me a lot. And then I stopped looking at his emails because they'd be like, there's like a weather pattern or, you know, like they'd be like this like inundation of emails. So like the texts are the really important things that he wants. Okay.

That is important. Yeah. Yeah. About having a lady friend. I find that people of a certain age don't know how to keep it. Like know that a text is like supposed to be five words yeah they yeah they think of text as an email yeah and they sign it at the end xoxo your dad yeah your dad your dad the pussy head what um what uh so does is one of them a girlfriend i don't know i have no idea what he's talking about

we like the uh the uh if you if you scroll up the text on my phone if you know my my phone up my um he was talking about like french people have a blown do you know they're like my blonde is that girlfriend yeah girlfriend it's it's my chum. So I had to explain to him what a blonde was. And isn't that derogatory? Because she doesn't have blonde hair. And I'm just like, you've been living in Quebec forever. So that was the text before that. He's like, I don't like saying

girlfriend. I like saying lady friend. Yeah, fair enough. If you're in your 70s, you probably don't want to. Ma blonde tagu. Tagu! Ma blonde mon chum. It's very terrible because ma your 70s, you probably don't want to. My blonde tag girl. It's very terrible because my blonde is like, is it like a blonde?

It's chum. Yeah, chum is the other one. That's funny. Which is something you feed to sharks. We're sex chums. What is a mech? A mech is a good guy. Okay. Hey, I'm on a mech. If somebody calls you a mech? A mech is a good guy. Okay.

It's like a dude. Hey, I'm on a mech. It's great. If somebody calls you a mech, it's like you're a good dude. Yeah. Well, congratulations. Yeah. Every time I was called mech, I'm like, no, say Mike. Say Mike.

Pop mech. Say Mike. I'm like yelling at French people all the time. Dave, do you have an overheard? Mine's an overseen. Okay. all the time um dave do you have an overheard mine's an overseen so i was staying with my uh in-laws and they have guests and their guests bring them uh as a gift they'll bring them like a bottle of something sure and they said oh we have wine we have three or four bottles of pims

oh the british drink yeah do you know Pimms? I do. It's something you drink in the summer apparently. Yeah, I've never... I know you make a Pimms cup. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I've never really had one. Mike, have you had Pimms? I only know... I'm thinking of like

Dr. Pim, the Pim particles that make you into the Ant-Man or the Wasp. It's that. You drink them and then you go into a tiny little universe. And then you put on a spray and a little bit of Majolnar. Yeah, exactly.

So Pym's is a British liqueur? Spirit? Spirit, yeah. Digestive? Aperitif um I was uh so I they had a bunch of extra bottles and I was like oh I've never had a Pim's couple can I take one home and so they gave me one and I uh first of all I was expecting it to be like Campari I was expecting it to be very bitter or like Aperol. Um, and it's very sweet. Very sweet.

Yeah. Like lemonade. Yeah. And it's, uh, I know there's like a slice of cucumber, um, involved in it in a Pim's cup, but I didn't really know what I was in for. And is it in that Moscow mule cup? Well, here's the thing is there's, I,

I Googled, how do you make a Pim's cup? I'm I, I Googled Pim's cup recipe. I didn't Google. How do you make a Pim's cup? I'm not there yet. Uh,

but it didn't say anything about the specific cup. Okay. They weren't like beat copper and then turn it into a cup with your hammer there was so but i looked it up on boy it was food and wine what.com was the first thing that came up and it was a recipe that had like get us a couple slices of cucumber or an orange slice uh lemon slice uh strawberry so it's it's like most recipes will have like three liquors and one garnish this is one liquor and five garnishes oh mint you need mint for it as well right yeah uh And so the recipe I looked up had five comments on it. And the first one was, I think the recipe said just to use lemonade and sparkling water or something.

Right. Or no, use ginger ale. Yum. And the first woman to comment was named Jeannie. And she wrote, it is properly made with sparkling lemonade not ginger ale and not filled with a ton of fruit a thin slice of cucumber and a strawberry slice is all it needs is a garnish and then the next comment was genie why leave a comment to bash this recipe did you even try to make it as it reads of course not i suppose for you it's much easier to just leave a negative

comment by the way the recipe says ginger ale or lemon lime soda so it is properly made also this so-called properly made says you are supposed to garnish like crazy so it's entirely up to whomever makes this and what they decide to garnish it with in the end there's not right or wrong in terms of garnish my dear um and then the next comment was uh i think what genie was trying to get across is that the classic pims cup cocktail doesn't use soda but instead lemonade which in case you don't know is not the same as lemon lime soda. Anyway, it goes on. There's three comments.

And then finally, a guy whose name is Guy comments, girls, girls, girls, chill. Save it for the polo match. And that was you that said honestly I don't have enough authority to comment that girls girls girls girls girls girls just let's take those tops off

cool down that's yeah that's the last step to drinking a pims Let's take those tops off. Cool down. Let's take these tops off. That's the last step to drinking a Pimms. I made it with as many garnishes as possible. And I muddled them down to get all the juices out. And I got to tell you, it was good. Yeah, it's very refreshing. And it turns out I didn't have ginger ale or lemon lime soda. So I used Ting, this Jamaican grapefruit drink.

Nice. And it was good? It ruled. So do you think maybe you'll buy Pimms again? I guess you have to get it. They don't even have it here, do they? Oh, no. You can get Pimms here.

You can get Pimms here. Okay. Yeah. Let's see if I ever finish this bottle. Do you think you're going to buy Ting again? You know what? Ting, so I bought Ting because I like to drink a Paloma, which is

grapefruit soda and tequila. Ooh. And normally I get Haritos. Oh, Haritos is nice, yeah. The guy, so I went to the, yeahitos grapefruit um and they went to snack land the local uh day penner here yeah snack sounds like an absolutely not made up place and they have yes it's a place that sells a lot of American things. So American candy, American sodas.

And they, uh, they, they had all the Haritos, Haritos, except for grapefruit. So I bought Ting and the guy at the checkout was like, oh, uh, you, uh, what do you like Ting? And I was like, well, I prefer, I'd rather get the Haritos grapefruit and he was like oh yeah we have some in the back but um we also have tamarind and no one's really buying tamarind so we're waiting for that to sell out before i put out the grapefruit because last time we had grapefruit it sold out so fast and i was like i don't know if your business model of putting out the thing that doesn't sell and hiding the thing that sells is working. Well, you know, they trick people in.

They know they can feel that it's in the store. I feel like, oh, I guess I'd have to settle for ting. He said, oh, you should try pink ting. And then you're like, sir, this is a family. Come on, sir, this is a Wendy. When I lived in Toronto, I ate a lot of roti and i would go to a jamaican restaurant like they'd always be like you want something and i was like yes i would love something um it was a terrible joke that i would do all the time yes i would love something yeah that's a you gotta when your daughters are

old enough you gotta take them to that exact place so that you can deliver it. Yes. My overheard is courtesy of just people outside trying to beat the heat. And there was a lady with two friends. I feel like maybe there were a couple and she was the third one. I don't know. But at one point, the lady said, have you heard of soft serve? It's all organic

yeah that's true that's that's the most organic i can hear about this soft serve first of all it's very it's it only comes from the milkiest cows they're all grass-fed um anyway i love soft serve it's so it's organic good i i was tempted to get a big on the ferry they um it's self-serve soft serve and you you uh like whether you fill the bowl this high or this high you pay the same nice nice soft serve it like uh kind of builds on itself very well yeah there was a there used to be an instagram account that just like people would send in their pictures of what how much software they were able to get on the ferry and they would rate it out of 10 that's pretty good it's good use of the internet that kind of thing and it's all organics you can eat as much as you want yeah that's true

you can eat as much as you want yeah uh now we also have overheard sent in by people all over the map if you want to send it in to us is a spy at maximumfund.org and And this one's from Andrew in New York City. I work in one of the buildings in the Rockefeller Center Complex in New York City. On my floor, there is a little, maybe four foot tall door that goes to an elevator machine room. There have been people going in and out of it pretty much every day I've been working here. I say hi to the regulars, but there was this new guy in today that had a supervisor or higher-up vibe to him.

The regular guy led him down to the hallway to the little door, opened it up, and they both stood there for a second and looked inside. And the regular guy points and goes, look at this. It's the perfect place to work. It's completely symmetrical.

I cannot work here. It is nine feet by eight feet. I is not symmetrical. But yeah, I that sounds like doesn't sound like being John Malkovich. There's like a tiny little thing like what is through that door? They have to stop on the floor, mid the the floor and then open it with a crowbar and then climb out onto the third and a half floor was that movie like i loved it at the time i bought the dvd i watched it many times but i haven't watched it in 15 years is it was it too cute for

its own good no i just watched it recently and it was it was it held up. It was still funny. All those details, they all work? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he said in an interview that he has an idea, but it's not like a movie idea. Who's he? Charlie Kaufman? Yeah, Charlie Kaufman. Yeah, that he doesn't throw it away. He'll use it in a bigger project. So he had the idea of a movie being on a third and a half floor.

And that was the movie. He also had no like plan B. It was John Malkovich or nothing. And John Malkovich was a producer. Like John Malkovich heard about the movie, offered to produce it as long as he was not in it. And Charlie Kaufman was like, nope, it's got to be you. Next overheard i did a movie with john malkovich you did yeah which one uh it's called last call it was about um reese efans plays um the um the poet um the wel poet, goddammit. Dylan Thomas?

Dylan Thomas? Yes. So he's Dylan Thomas dying in a bar, and John Malkovich plays the doctor who's like, let him die. And I'm a guy in that bar. So I was like in a bar forever. Is this the whole movie? Well, like they flashback. It's the last day of Dylan Thomas's life.

And I play like a guy i'm from buffalo uh i don't know but like he keeps saying like really nice uh poetic things to me and i'm just like a guy drinking too many beers nice you're like the norm of that situation yeah totally um watch the movie or listen to the song dylan thomas by better oblivion community center uh featuring phoebe bridgers and connor oberst about dylan thomas by better oblivion community center uh featuring phoebe bridgers and connor oberst about dylan thomas dying on the barroom floor let's hear it for them john um but he had um like john malkovich had um his own script written out handmade and bound so like i looked at his script and we all had our own like little printouts and he had his own, like he wrote the entire script out himself, but that's cool.

It was really fricking cool. And then I got really close after like, you know, a couple of weeks and then I looked at his script and it was only his lines and the rest were just like blah, blah, blah. Right. So that he just wanted to listen and react and say that line acting is mostly yeah that's like a really good uh like i never was good in school but i knew that like if i ever copied out my notes twice i was like oh i know this now forever yes yeah exactly but he does the opposite of like it's rote learning but like also like listening so he's like so I try to do that too when I'm doing like

predator stuff yeah what did predator have to say I don't know what you're going to say but what I'm going to say back is I'm going to kill you and wear you like a jacket your blood is awfully green sir yes

you are saying he's saying this next one's from john in austin texas john m from chicago uh dave and dance what our past episode with the dan werb their tour memories reminded me of the first gig i ever played on tour with a rock band in Baltimore. The venue had a giant poster backstage with all the rules of playing on the road. I don't remember all of them, but the two I remember are, it's not a soccer game, your parents can't come to every show. Fair. And two, the drummer can wear gloves or take his shirt off, but not both.

That's a great rule that's good i don't see a lot of drummers and gloves but it does stand out when you see them yeah exactly would have been better the drummer must wear gloves or take his shirt off not both it's yeah i mean it's uh it's your own choice i've known more drummers to take their shirts off than yeah wear gloves oh yeah what's his name? Always Nude? Wasn't it from No Doubt or something like that? Yeah, sure. It was always Nude. But there's like the gloves and it always seems like it's

like batting, baseball batting gloves. Yes, yeah. One time I got in an Uber with a guy that had driving gloves and I was like who the hell is this guy? Like leather driving gloves and i was like who the hell is this guy like this is a serious driving gloves what kind of car was it um just a black car oh yeah yeah that unique gloves for that the nissan micro yeah i find the black cars look better in the shade yeah yeah it's true um i like black car that's got all tinted windows so you can't see anything at all except your own reflection.

That's pretty cool. Anyways, black cars rule. Yeah. Then blue, then red, then pink. All the way down to the bottom, white, because it gets filthy. It does get filthy. Oh, the most popular car in the city is gray. Oh, yeah, gray.

Because you can't see how filthy it gets yeah man it's uh i gotta go to the car wash this week although this is a statistic i heard in 2002 so i bought a minivan that's gray and uh with the money i got from predator and then i i've decided to not name it the predator van why not it didn't go over well with um kids at uh my my daughter's elementary school oh sure yeah you want to come home in the predator van do you want to get into the predator van and so we're not going to call it that hey mike um speaking of predators you're you have a very big beard um and that's the name of my character in predator big beard big beard it's called big beard what uh are you jealous yes i wanted to

meet predator i only met alien one time at a bar yeah the only thing i ever met was the thing um what uh so when you were last on our show you said it was episode 88 um how big was your beard then? Did you have a beard? It was, I did not have a beard at all. When's the last time you shaved it? Uh,

I, I did a French thing where I played the Dolly Lama, but it was the Dolly. Ha ha. So they wanted me. So good. This sounds great. It's so ridiculous.

And they had me in robes and stuff. And then, uh, I was the Dolly. Ha ha. I'm welcoming you to a French festival of comedy in Quebec City. And when was that? When did you shave it? I'd say four years ago.

So that's four years growth. Graham, you haven't touched yours in over a decade, I would say. I trim like a bonsai tree. But yeah, don't hack any. Do you trim it yourself or do you go to like a bonsai tree, but yeah, don't hack any. Don't hack. Do you trim it yourself or do you go to like a, like a, like a beard place? No,

I trim it by myself, but I, I wouldn't be against going to a fancy, uh, one of those ones where they have Playboy magazines

on the table and maybe let you just jack off right while they do. Yeah. Here, put in this cup. I got a guy

I'm going to trick it to drinking it. I got this guy, John, coming over yeah he thinks it's a bet we got this playboy with 50 year old nancy sinatra on the go uh this last one comes from chris in victoria bc I was over at a friend's house the other day,

enjoying a drink on his patio. When his two year old daughter came up out of the house, crying shortly after that, his four year old son followed. So my friend asked, why is Joanna crying with a very sincere, wide eyed and earnest look? He replied,

I don't know. I didn't step on her. Prove that I did. Yeah. I don't know what I didn't step on her. Prove that I did. Yeah. I don't know what she's talking about. I didn't step on herself. Yeah. I don't have means, motive.

Yes. What's the other M? Opportunity. Opportunity. Moriarty. Moriarty. And the fourth, Moriarty. Yes.

In addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1, like these people have. Hey, Dave, Graham, and courageous guest. This is David from Round Rock, Texas, calling in with a kid say the darndest for you. I was in the grocery store a little earlier and there was a little boy, maybe five or six,

and he was hanging off the side of the cart while his mom pushed. And he said quite enthusiastically, I've got it all planned out. I'm going to have a corn dog for dinner That's it, off I go Mom and dad, I don't know if you've heard But tonight's corn dog night And that's what we're going to have for dinner It's amazing In Quebec, of course, they call it a pogo They call it a pogo

Do you go shopping with your kids, Dave? That was a thing I would do like when we had when we had the second kid it i made it a uh like a priority that like if i was running an errand one kid was coming with me right abby wasn't left with both uh but then the pandemic happened and it was like, well, you can't, like, I'm going to stores in like a suit from Outbreak. Yeah. You were getting Junior barfing in my suit. I just brought Mina to the store to go grocery store shopping and she has not been to a store or done anything in two years. Right.

And she was just like, just losing her mind. Like, she's like, look at this, blueberries. Ooh, look at this. Oh, whoa. Oh, flowers. We can buy flowers. Let's get flowers. And then I also, I put flowers in the thing and you can just sense the people.

Speaking of overheard, you can just overhear the, you know, cause like for two years, we didn't bring our kids to grocery stores. And now we're bringing them back and they don't know like she was in the bread section and she's like oh do you smell that do you smell that dad it's the best smell it is the best do you smell that yeah i like grocery stores and i'm like it's bread it's bread do you smell that she's like it's not bread and then she found like some like cubed meat. And she's like, I think it's this, dad. This is what I'm smelling.

I'm like, no, it was the bread. They're baking bread. She has no idea. She hasn't done anything in two years. Have you ever seen the movie, Eat to Mama Tambien? Yes, maybe. There's a scene where they're driving.

They're like in a traffic jam on the highway. And one of them says, do you smell fresh bread? And the other one takes a big inhale and realizes that his friend had just farted. Classic. Good bit. Yeah, good bit.

Solid sticks to the landing. Solid Mexican bit. Here's your next phone call. Hey Dave Graham and guest. This is Danny. I recently saw a billboard in Chicago that, complete with before and after pictures, just said, Toe shortening.

Yep, it's a thing. Anyway, off I go. Yeah, we can shave a couple inches off of those bad boys i mean like you're really nitpicking if you think that's wrong with your body yeah toe shortening oh my i keep buying like shoes that are too small yeah maybe that's it maybe it's a fit in shoes kind of i i do like boy i'm a size 10 and shoes in my size never go on sale but like if i was a size 7 i could clean up yeah i uh have you ever seen like an actual thing because they would do foot binding back in the day and they would make they they made them into like triangular kind of weird shaped feet so cool

but like that would have probably helped if you had a little shorter toes would give you a little bit more roomy you had shorter toes yeah i mean it also seems like torture i think it's probably torture it's probably torture i don't think many men were asked to do it uh yeah probably not but they were what are they wearing sandals or something like that something really yeah get it together what are you wearing uh these days in these hot summer days i wear it either uh i've got like a pair of just kind of d colorful walking around in the summer shoes and then I've got a pair of boat shoes that I wear. Some top siders.

Boat shoes? Yeah. Like you go on a yacht. Yacht shoes. Yeah, Graham's got yacht shoes. I want to get some boat shoes. I have Birkenstocks. Yeah, what do you got, Dave? I've got some EV Birkenstocks. They're the Birkenstocks made out of

Croc material And some vans Oh you got some vans Some walking around vans But there was a yacht where we were at Abby's parents house Across at the island across From their house Mudge Island Maybe

Sounds like a made up Canadian billionaire Jimmy Patterson's yacht was parked across the hallway. So we threw rocks at it. Okay, here's your final phone call. Hi, this is Georgia from Rochester. We were in a local... My husband and I were in a local diner and someone at the table next to us, loudly enough to be overheard, said

kind of disappointedly, these aren't the TGI Friday's potatoes of my youth. Thank you. They're ruining my childhood. Yeah, it's like the female Ghostbusters. The female. I like

the female Ghostbusters. I thought all right i watched the one the new one with the kids it was okay i'm not i'm yeah i haven't seen anything yet i can only see things that my daughter can see well you could show her this the one with the kids there's nothing i mean there's ghosts and goblins but yeah yeah but she'll be bored yeah she will be bored yeah with all the like the problem with growing up movies isn't that there's like adult situations. It's that they're two and a half hours long. Yeah, right. Well, I think that brings us to the episode ending.

Mike, you were going to... People right now can see Prey. Where can they see it? They can see it on Disney Plus everywhere in the world. And in this place called Oosa it they can see it on disney plus everywhere in the world and in this place called usa you can watch it on hulu oh you guys know usa it was a place it used to be united stutes of omuruku yeah it used to be great um but it it stopped being great someone made it great for four years yeah i heard it was great again yeah i don't know now i've been i only was there for like yeah yeah so it's called prey it's uh you're gonna see me win against oh

spoiler alert i win oh boy that's a big spoiler alert yeah it's big spoiler alert um well congratulations on beating predator yes i beat the predator but if you're don't if you've okay don't listen to what he just said just watch the movie yeah yeah exactly i'm listening to that i'm sure it's gonna go super well for my character like if you if any of the other four predator movies um if a guy decides to fight a predator it'll go well for him good good yeah um well i graham i uh well thank you mike yes thank you very much absolutely yeah this was great you're this is great like yeah what fun oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sleigh um where the sleigh is a podcast but um uh i also wanted to say we're doing we're gonna do a bonus episode um coming up this month uh about uh

where our listeners have the chance to correct us yes so if we ever said anything like we get corrections on twitter sometimes uh we never address them but if you want to correct us send in your corrections to anything we've ever said wrong in the last 751 episodes. And I want everyone to be framed by, I don't want to be that guy, but yeah, I don't want to be that guy, but, um,

you should get some unsplainers to unsplain stuff. Oh yeah. You get a man that unsplained something for sure. You can explain what happened, what you did wrong. Send them into spy at maximum fund.org. Write them in or uh call us at 1-844-779-7631 one spy pod one uh we got it the thing that inspired us was a couple people just

called me in or called in uh to to correct a couple of things we had said on the show. Um, so, uh, yeah, I would like, uh, to get a bunch more so we can do a whole bonus episode about it. Okay.

Um, but if there's anything you need to correct me about, like, uh, first of all, I just want to say like, I really love the Indiana Jones movies starring Tom Selleck. Yes.

Yes. Um, I'm a big fan of, uh, I think that the episode one of star wars came out in 1977 so these are things these are things anything we've we've that you've ever uh tried to correct us about do it do it officially through our email yeah or frame it by i don't want to be that guy or gal guy i don't be that guy. I don't want to be that guy or they.

Well, thanks again, Mike. Thank you all you out there for listening. Correct us if you dare. And you know what? If you get a chance to drink from a hose, do it. This is the time of year to do it. Unless you're in Australia where it's winter, in which case you'll have to wait until our winter and come on next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

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