Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 763 - Stacey McLachlan

Episode Date: November 1, 2022

Comedian and writer Stacey McLachlan returns to talk wrestling ring ownership, oil gelatin, and late night pizza.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 763 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's a revelation in a sweater vest, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, I knew when you didn't mention the sweater vest when we first connected I was like, oh he's saving it for the intro. Exactly, I did and I love that. He just wants to torture me. He just wants to watch me twist in the wind. I can only see the top third of of it but it's brown it's a crop top yeah you can only it stops it but there's a little bit of under boob happening i knew that would come back i

knew that would come back i knew you'd be right on top of it um it looks good man it's a real fall look it's a real substitute teacher look if you ask me. Yeah, I consider myself a substitute in everything I do. I bring substitute energy to whatever it is. I've also got, oh, if anyone's following along at home, I ate an apple before this. I have some apple skin stuck in my teeth. And I could floss it out, but so much more satisfying when it just comes from your own suction so i'm gonna just be sucking on my own mouth all episode i'll keep you

positive anything comes out whoever had that on their bingo card congratulations dave ate apple dave wear sweater oh he won a day why to keep who away it's truly uh i guess it's to keep it the doctor away keep it the doctor dr mario uh but it's i think because if i have an apple in the morning that i'm like oh i don't need to worry about eating anything good for the rest yeah that's true let yourself off the hook um speaking of somebody who's off the hook One of our favorite guests Here today on the podcast She's oh so funny And she's going to tell us all about

A wrestling promotion that she's a part of It's Stacey McLaughlin everybody Hi, reluctantly a part of Yeah Forced ambassador For a pro wrestling group You know how it is. Well, I don't, and I'm going to ask you all about it.

Yeah, let's get, should we get to know us? Yes. Get to know us. Stacey. Stacey. I think Stacey was our first remote guest of the pandemic. Oh, my God. Yeah.

And look at me now. All these years later. You could not be more remote. You're so emotionally distant. That's right. You're cold. Yeah. She's also in the Amazon.

So, yeah, it's far as possible. Yeah, she's got a crank modem. And I'm operating all of this by drone. It's a lot. Oh, cool. Drones. Yes. Drones. Yes. Drones are cool.

They're very now. They're very. I feel like there was a moment where everyone's like, drones are hot. Drones are going to be bringing everything to you. You're probably going to be married to a drone by the end of this sentence. They didn't really take off. No drone has ever brought me anything. You don't bring me robot flowers.

Here's the thing that I've noticed about every single movie that has been made in the last five years. They all have gigantic swooping over the forest shots or zooming down on a car or whatever. Now every filmmaker gets the crane shot or the helicopter shot. Yeah. maker gets the crane shot or the helicopter shot yeah um the thing that was like cost prohibitive now it's in like every crappy like uh 48 hours episode good for drones good for each of your kids and what are they how fast do they fall apart

what are their names their names are Mr. Malone the drone and Dr. One which is if you write it down it's drone very good

it's off the top of your head yeah it's off the top of my drone this is why dave makes such a great substitute teacher he comes in he picks up right away i'm like what are we doing chemistry okay uh let me rub a little uh sodium chloride in the wound okay um stacy it has it's been it's been a little while since we talked to you, but it's... It's been one full pandemic. Yeah. Yes, that's how we measure time now. Yeah, exactly.

See you next pandemic. I'm busy. I renovated. I had a baby. Tell us about all the things. Tell us about the wrestling ring. Tell us about... First of all, let's hear about these renovations.

Dave was telling you before the show that he read all about them in Vancouver magazine. Oh, I wouldn't say I read all about them. Just looked at the picture. Damn right. And they look great. What do you want to know? Daisy, what did I miss by not? Do you like it?

I do like it. I do like it it i think it looks really cool yeah what did i miss by not reading the names of the people who made it we were we're house hunting and we came to this apartment in kitzelano in beautiful vancouver british columbia and we walked in the door and it just like reeked of nicotine and it's like dripping down the walls and there's cat hair everywhere. And cat, yeah, the carpets have been, you know, they've been around. And you said, we're home. Yeah, this is it. Max didn't even walk into it.

Like I later was like, I think, I think I've got a wacky scheme. And he's like, I haven't even seen this apartment that you're talking about. But we, we bought the stink house. I'm like, how hard could this be? And it turned out incredibly hard. It was so hard. Did you think it was just going to be a mop job on the wall? Like just clean the wall with a mop in there?

Good to do. Yeah. I was like, okay, so we'll go in. We'll tear out the floors. That's a weekend. We put in some new floors. That's probably Monday. Tuesday, it's a new kitchen.

Wednesday, you're laughing. You're hosting a dinner party. We'll probably be too tired to cook so we'll send out potluck invitation yeah that's right what so what did you have done like every single thing yeah we tore we tore out the floors we tore out the kitchen cabinets and the bathroom and all the plumbing and got the ceiling all de-popcorned yeah which takes a long time and is very unsatisfying before and after like in person you're like oh so smooth everybody look at this smooth smooth ceiling but um yeah not really a dramatic reveal i can i get my body de-popcorned i've got a guy i'll get ray i've got a guy. I'll get Ray on it. I've got heavy popcorning underneath my armpits.

Yeah, just smooth me out. You pay more at the movie theater for ceiling popcorn, right? That's right. Only if it's buttered. I like to mix in some peanut butter around it. Some nooch. Into your roof popcorn. My

father-in-law is like kind of a handy fancies himself a handyman he's like oh you guys you big babies you could do it yourself don't how hard could it be just rip rip stuff up don't pay somebody for it you soft soft millennials is he still with us did he inhale a bunch of popcorn ceiling and perish? He did asbestos. So he was really, really helpful. But he's also like a 72-year-old man who was working on kind of his own schedule. And it was really challenging because he'd be like, I was wondering if maybe you'd want to finish the kitchen cabinets today because it's been three months.

Oh, you're going golfing today? That's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Did he do all of it? He did a lot of it. He and Max did a lot of things together. And I was sort of like command headquarters.

We were staying with my mom in Surrey, like just crashing in her spare bedroom in her apartment. Those were close quarters. Yeah. How was that? As well. You know, you can that? As well. You know, it's,

you can't, you can't buy family time. You know, it's a, it's a special, it's a special moment in our lives. Was this after

you, you became a mother? No, this was, this was pre, pre becoming a mother myself. So, perhaps I would have

had more perspective. Were you pregnant? Um, I got pregnant um i got pregnant a renovation while you're living with your mom so yeah yeah it's their beautiful conception story yeah it's that spare room yeah oh something about it, your body kind of has a spare room if you think about it. Yeah. Did you, how long did you stay out there?

Were you living in the guest suite? Five and a half months, which if you calculate the square footage of this new apartment to that, it's like the timeline doesn't make sense. to that it's like the timeline doesn't make sense oh we spent like five days on every square foot of the apartment or something like that it's just it doesn't it was deeply inefficient and i'm mad about it still i'm realizing i'm talking i'm still kind of stuck on you enter this apartment and it's reeks of nicotine and you're covered in cat hair what uh at what were you worried that a renovation wouldn't get rid of those things because that would be in my head i'd be like oh yeah when someone smokes in a place is it ruined forever we were recommended it was recommended to us that we use this stuff on the wall called kills with a zed nice which seems like a safe thing to surround yourself

with but it really did cover up all the all the smell so that this is my personal endorsement for a bucket of kills oh maybe i should yeah i feel like someone smoking in an apartment is the same as someone eating mcdonald's in a car yeah well you You will never get that. Yeah. You have to go get your car detailed to get rid of that. You got to use kills. You got to use kills. Did all that stuff, nicotine and cat hair and whatnot, drive down the price?

Was it? Yeah. Yeah. It was a, it was a deal. It was a deal. But at what cost? Well,

I mean, I think, I think you probably map out the cost yeah per square foot yeah uh how does it feel to be a home owner here in this vancouver crazy very very lucky very privileged we also like we now we have a baby and so that she needed somewhere to stay so we also had this sort of postscript to our renovation where we decided we were going to put a Murphy bed in our bedroom. So it's office by day, sleeping quarters by night. I thought you were putting the baby in the Murphy bed.

Okay, fold up the baby for the day. Parenting is easy. Murphy bed, that's awesome. Yeah, it worked out well. Oh, parenting is easy. Yeah. Murphy bed, that's awesome. Yeah. It worked out well. I feel like we really hacked the space-time continuum. Nice. But it was almost impossible to put together the instruction books from, you know, this is an official source, like murphybedscanada.com. The instruction book was written by aliens.

Like, there's just sentences that just stop in the middle. They'll be like, yeah, use the hex bolts, but then doesn't tell you for what or where. You can say, human, use the hex bolts, you and your beauty brains. And on every page, there's six huge things that are like, if you

do this wrong, your hand is going to get snapped off by the powerful springs. hi i stink i stink i always wanted a murphy bed when i was i just thought i think i saw it in who framed roger rabbit and ever since i'm like this is the coolest coolest way to sleep so are you in are you in the murphy room right now no i'm in the in the Murphy room right now? No, I'm in the baby's room. Oh, okay. Where's the baby? Oh, my gosh. In the Murphy room. How long?

The baby is how old now? She's nine months. Nine months. Oh, nine months in, nine months out. Nine months young. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What, what, how long can you be away from the baby?

How long is she? How long a baby is she? Probably about 55 inches. I can be a lot, I don't know, I can be away for days at a time. You know, I'm not, we don't like to put labels on things. Yeah. Are you, I've heard a rumor that you're a mother and daughter. Well, you're, you're with us for like 90 minutes, two hours here today.

And I just don't remember at what point that was like a huge accomplishment to be away from the baby for two hours. I don't know. Yeah, we're pretty casual. Like, yeah, she does her own thing a lot of the time. She's with my mom right now. But, you know, she's got her own friends. Do you hold her head up? Yeah. Oh, and her legs and her body. I a lot of the time. She's with my mom right now, but she's got her own friends. She holds her head up? Yeah.

Oh, and her legs and her body. I'm starting from the bottom. I'm working my way up. But all the bits between legs and head. You can hold it all up. Pulls herself up, crawls around, chews on things. Cruising? There we go.

Is she cruising around the coffee table? She's cruising. Yeah. Cruising the Sunset Strip. She's so funny. I love her. She's the best. What's her name? Her name's cruising. Yeah. Cruising the Sunset Strip. She's so funny. I love her. She's the best. What's her name?

Her name's Coco. Coco. I didn't want her horning in on my time. So I said, get out of here. Get out. Yeah. This is for me. If they want you as a guest, they have to ask.

That's right. Yeah. Could you put on a good word for us to Coco, please? Can we get Coco? I'll see what I can do. Coco on the line? When you make, when you put away the Murphy. Yeah, when you make a baby, what's it like?

Do the couple need to be in love to make a baby? Or do they, can this be a casual thing that turns into a baby? Is it true that. But then turns into a relationship. Yes. I mean, it will fix a relationship, clearly. Always. That's what I thought.

Yeah. I thought it would fix the renovation. To go. Made it harder. When you put away the Murphy bed, do you have to make the bed first or do you take everything off and then put it back on and then make the bed when you take it down? How does this work? We take the pillows off and then it has like a Velcro strap and then you strap this is very classy you strap all the the bedding down and

then you pop it back up i fucking love it i love how many days a week do you pop it back up every every single day even weekends even weekends but i'm a bed maker i would have i made my bed anyways so brag alert are you good are you like a solid bed maker no i'm not doing a good job i would have i made my bed anyways so brag alert are you good are you like a solid bed maker no i'm not doing a good job i'm just but i like you know put the bed like i reset the bed right yeah and then you that room becomes your office for the day that's the office yeah a roomy office where i can twirl and twirl but then you have the pillows loose from the bed so yeah so they're stacked neatly on top. Oh, nice.

And sort of a pleasing pop of color for the eye. Nice. Nice. This is all right. What is the nursery you're in, your daughter's room? Is there a theme? Is there a unifying theme? Or is it just kind of-

Early childhood. You don't like a feel in commercials you see a lot of. We put up some fun wallpaper, which is not good radio. you don't like revealing commercials you see a lot of hmm uh we put up some fun wallpaper which is not good not good radio but I'll

I'll turn it so you can see it and it's sort of like yeah that is fun wow some of it's very shiny right

yeah it looks like confetti oh oh yeah yeah it's confetti like yeah oh that's great thought I was getting

a little i think this is good i just see the sunlight yeah whoa um yeah so the theme is wallpaper that i wanted for my office but now is the baby yes excellent um the please don't turn your computer again are you still recording yes okay scaring me we've already seen we've already seen all there is to see Unless is there something In the other corner You want to show us? Yeah it's like a huge room

This is her wing Her guest suite You know Yeah Now speaking of work You do in the office You're still You're still writing

I'm still writing Editing What can we look forward to This coming month? What are the top stories vancouver magazine is it vancouver magazine or is it also western living there's a separate magazine also called western living yeah i wear a lot of hats okay but you do both i do both the hat just says editor for both magazines um there i wrote an article about why we have halloween firecrackers and fireworks here in

mccooper why why do we have that because we have a lot of british and chinese immigrants here and they both are obsessed with blowing stuff up yeah at this time of year is it it's like uh because the 5th of november the yeah yeah v for vendetta day or whatever it's called yeah we all wear Guy Fieri masks. Yeah. No, you're right. No. Right the first time.

And we blow things up in the flavor zone or whatever. Flavor town. Yeah. I was in a hotel this past couple of days, and all I watched was Food Network. And they have Guy Fieri. They're working him like a fucking plow horse. He's just in like every other show is hosted by Guy Fieri.

I feel bad for him. He's probably got all the money he needs. What do they have over him? The second the cameras are off, he's just like quiet, crying. Drinking, eating flavorless food. Drinking water. Drinking water, eating some boiled chicken. Pouring water on chicken um yeah that's a good plan when i'm in a hotel i feel like hotel tvs there's like three seconds

of black between every channel you change so you just need to pick a channel for the week also the the guide didn't work. I could only pick a show, but then it would go three ahead of the show. Anyways, it took a long time, but then I settled on Food Network. They're still making Halloween candy cakes and stuff like that. It's the season.

It is the season. Almost over. I went to your LinkedIn page, Stacey. I don't know why. Okay. I think I was trying to see what magazines. But you were, it lists a bunch of your skills, and one of them was ghostwriting. Yeah.

Do you ghostwrite? For Halloween. Oh, good. Just spooky stories? Yeah. Just spooky stories. Just a lot of, ooh. A little derivative, but you know, it's about working within a constraint and that's where our creativity really shines that's true

it's true yeah um yeah i did some ghostwriting for a while for ceos so i i freelanced for this company that basically the ceos will be like i want to be seen as like a leader in my field, but I don't want to write a story. I'm busy. And so then you interview them and like take like one sentence that they said and sort of build that into a whole article and then go get that placed somewhere. But then they put their name on it. What's it like to talk to a CEO? I feel like I never have. So are they weird?

They've got a lot to say. I wouldn't say that. They. Is it true that they're all psychopaths? Wow. I think. Isn't that corporations themselves? Yeah, that's right.

Okay. Yeah, but also, yeah, the people. Usually they're just like busy dads trying to have it all. Oh, the people. Usually they're just like busy dads trying to have it all. Oh my gosh. They've got the baby and the baby Bjorn while you're interviewing them. I picture them in a room with a bunch of animals' heads on the wall.

With those balls that clack back and forth. Yeah, and him like holding an elephant gun over the shoulder. Posing being painted by a portraitist yeah getting their hair cut i feel like that's like a like an old trope of a busy yeah getting their haircut on the go like in their seat while they're eating uh you know lobster thermidor why is there hair in my lobster

thermidor you're all fired yeah it's like that's how you show someone that you're important is that you're like i am so busy i have to do all these like boring chores while you're here because that's the only time i have to do it for me if i did that that would be my entire chores for the day done within half an hour and then i have just a lot of time i'm bored yeah eat lunch get my hair cut come on i know this is a whole week's worth of duties i'm just gonna get all my lunch eating done at once yeah i'm eating lunch for the week today don't talk to me till i've had my lunch for the week um these ceo types were you interviewing them in their office or over the phone or?

I'm usually over phone or Zoom. So like they might be in their office. But yeah, usually I didn't get a good look at it, which is unfortunate. And what are you, what question do you start with? What's your whole deal? What does the C stand for? Okay, next question. There's a lot of like fawning that you have to do because they're like paying you to do it.

So everything they say, you're like, oh, what a fantastic insight. Could you give me a more specific example and not just like people should work hard? Like, can I just bug you a little bit just to like dig a little deeper on that one that's great because then you probably get some do you ever get something where you're like well i can't use that but you're like this is some juicy juicy gas juicy gas yeah and i can't i wish i could talk about who i wrote for but they're no it's fine i can't yeah um is it richie rich is it that filthy kid yeah i hate that kid so much his thought leadership is about how to i don't know put a butler in the pool what does richie

rich do yeah he puts a butler in the pool yeah i couldn't tell you his deal other than he's rich rich that's his whole thing is that that's the whole gag of the but he got rich by spending money like it seems like he just is rich and bought everything like how does he make money that he's like elon musk nobody knows you gotta spend money to make money oh sure oh that's true parents is he an orphan boy he does have parents but they play a very limited role the the adult in the series really is the butler and he's kind of Richie Rich's keeper, I think. He's kind of the Alfred of the

Richie Rich world. Also, his dog has a dollar sign for a tail. I'm picturing, Graham, you being like a talking head in a documentary and it's like, Richie Rich historian is like your title. What's the dog's name? Dollar, isn't it? It's something stupid like that.

Yeah, it's part of the Harvey's universe that are all very unsatisfying kind of characters. Spooky the ghost, Casper the friendly ghost. Some people are really into the MCU, but I'm into the HCU.

What is the... Is it Harvey comics? comics yeah and it's like is it hotfoot is that the little devil guy i think you're right there's a little lot there's little lot and there's also uh wendy the witch and it is dollar dollar is the pet dog of richie that sucks yeah the whole thing though is just like you know in the cover he will be like shoveling dollars into a fire to like kindle it or whatever so uh so what was his whole take oh and there's a dog the dog instead of having spots on it has dollar signs yeah he's been heavily tattooed wow um what else could you name a dog like that i just googled a uh googled this dog and there's just a picture of the dog and underneath it says money is

and then heart sign yes money is heart money is heart. So you do ghostwriting. People who have never heard one of your episodes, Yvonne, you are the editorial head of more than one magazine. Is that right? Yeah. Or I'm editor at large. That's the title I gave myself. Nice.

I come and go as I please because I'm a ghost. But you do a thing. I imagine the fireworks thing is under this ad where you like you kind of expose secrets of vancouver or answer the questions that people have been like what is that thing why does this happen yeah yeah it's called a city informer and it's my column for vancouver magazine and it's out every issue whenever those are so check your local um yeah pharmacy yeah while you're waiting for your flu shot. That is our target market. People waiting to get injected.

Yeah. I'm doing, I'm researching right now. I haven't gotten to the bottom of it yet, but maybe you guys know this. Okay. Then I, this can be just work for me. Yeah. Okay. You know, those signs that are just like, keep the Japanese beetle out of Vancouver?

Yes. What are those? And why? I don't know. Like, there's lots of things that are, like, banned or bad. Yeah. But there are signs for all of those. So why are the beetles so special?

Yeah, I think they're an invasive species. I think so. And I believe it's like, they're like Boy, you really put us on the spot We don't know anything Do my paperwork I feel like the suburbs I think I've gone to plant nurseries in Surrey And other places

That you're not allowed to bring a tree A certain tree from one nursery Into Vancouver Because yeah, if you go by I think a city hall, there's a sign that says this is a Japanese beetle zone or not.

Yeah, I don't know what the signs mean. I have seen one of them and they're freaky. They're huge and freaky. Yeah. I saw one, it had landed on the sidewalk and everybody I was with was like, what the fuck is that? Did you report it? I don't know where to report it.

If you see something, say something, Graham. I did. I said to the rest of the group, let's get out of here. Let's go. This is beetle territory. We got to go. How do you figure out? How do you find out the answer to something like that?

I spent a lot of time just like calling 3-1-1 like the vancouver info hotline and sort of making them tell me what the answer is or direct me in the right place so that that's a good resource tell them that they forgot to pick up your garbage this week that's mostly what they get now i thought i thought japanese beetles were the japanese beetle cover band that did like Samurai Wanna Hold Your Hand. I don't like the way this is going down. Sushi Loves

You. Nope. That's all. I'm like, one more. Toyota Thon. There you go, Toyota Thon. From their song Love-a-thon. So, what else have you Coyotathon. There you go, Coyotathon. From their song, Love-a-thon. Love-a-thon.

So what else have you, you uncovered something like over the Burrard Bridge, there's like some sort of like, looks like a room. Yeah. Just cables, just cables in there. The answer to most things is storage. Yeah. But it's meant to like, just get to know stuff about the about the city yeah you know this is my fun vancouver fact is that uh the vancouver the canadian tuxedo got its name from bing crosby

walking through the vancouver the hotel vancouver oh because they said that yeah they said he had to wear a tuxedo because it was some kind of function. He wore like denim head to toe and he called it a Canadian tuxedo. And everybody thought it was the greatest. Is Bing Crosby super hot? Yeah, he is. Can Bing Crosby get it? Yeah, in that video with him and David Bowie, it was a battling of a sex symbol.

Kiss already. Kiss already. Kiss already. So, you've done that. You've renovated a place. And then, not only have you done those things, you and your husband, Max, are now proprietors of a wrestling promotion. So Graham brought this up a few weeks ago. He went to go see a wrestling thing because you and your husband bought a wrestling ring that took months to arrive. I can only imagine it's harder to assemble than a Murphy bed.

Yeah, it took a long time and it sounded really dangerous. So it all started. Cast your eyes through the sands of time to March of this year. Okay. The baby had just been born and Max's 40th birthday was coming up and he was like, okay, I want to do something for a big party. But I also want to use that as an excuse to trick all of my friends to watch a wrestling show. Because he, like, when we first got together, he was not a wrestling guy, and then later became a wrestling guy, which I feel is really unfair.

That is unfair. But isn't that, like, your fault? Was I asking for it? I mean, like, were you... What was I wearing? Did you drive him towards it? Like, if he was not... All because of all my wrestling before you and then after you he was like actually what's the common denominator interesting stacy look in a mirror once in a while and before this you uh you had a wrestling show that you put together before you got the ring yes with what

purpose yeah so max is having this 40th birthday he's like i want to i want people to come out and watch a wrestling show that's my dream so i'm gonna rent a ring i'm gonna have a show but i need to give this some stakes so people actually care what happens in this show so what i'll do is i'll tell everybody that we're deciding the baby's middle name. Each of the wrestlers will like represent a different name and they'll battle it out. And whoever the winner is, that will be her name. And so that was like a huge, weird smash success. And then he... Slow down, slow down.

Before the end then. So does he know a bunch of wrestlers to hire to do this? Well, he sort of had his finger on the pulse of the community. So he knew how to ask the right person to get introduced to the wrestlers in Vancouver and get some people on board. So it's like booking a comedy show. You just sort of reach out and ask. And was the wrestling. How do I ask this?

Because I don't know. I don't want to say wrestling's fake. But was the result predetermined? Did you already know the baby's middle name going into this? And did the winning middle name win? If you say anything, you're breaking kayfabe, and that's rule number one. They will come for me.

Yeah, exactly. And they're so strong. Okay, I guess without the risk of doxing your baby, what's the middle name? Coleslaw. Coco Coleslaw. Coco Coleslaw. Yeah.

Coco Coleslaw. It's Harriet. Her middle name is Harriet. That's a lovely name. Yeah. Oh, so like pretty lucky that it turned out to be the one that I wanted.

But it could have gone either way. It could have been Orko. it could have been orco it could have been oh yeah were there any other were there any other like legitimate human names in the wrestling competition yeah max's grandma eileen we had her middle name or her name in the in the mix too and we even had a video message from her she was like go eileen and then the rest of representing her name in the mix too. And we even had a video message from her. She was like, go Eileen. And then the wrestler representing her name got pinned immediately. And then Max had his mom in the show too. She was representing a family name

and had brought a bouquet of flowers for the wrestler that was sort of championing the name that she wanted. And then one of the other wrestlers took the flowers and smashed them. And then he and Max's mom got in a big fight. Love it. So it was a real,

the crowd was going nuts as you can imagine. And Harriet is a family name of yours because your grandmother is the character from, so I married an ex murderer. I was going to say that your grandmother was a spy. It is named after her at the spy of the book. Is it really? Yeah.

DNA tests of whether or not the fictional characters, my grandma is still pending. Well, that's fun. Herit the spy of the book is it really yeah DNA tests of whether or not the fictional character is my grandma still pending well that's fun because you're kind of she's a little bit

of a city informer herself little bit of a spy that's me this is how I talk now now are you going to are either of you going to investigate

what truck is backing up outside your window we're in an urban environment it's adding texture Are either of you going to investigate what truck is backing up outside your window? We're in an urban environment. It's adding texture. It's called a soundscape, Dave. Oh, it's awesome. Read a book.

So you had this at like a hall or something like that? Yeah, the Commercial Drive Legion. And yeah, it really lit a fire in Max. He's like, I'm going to do it again. And I was like, we can't have another baby he went to he's like i'm gonna do it again and i was like we can't have another baby and then he's like okay well maybe we can have another because i don't have enough murphy vans to put them in that's true yeah um then he's like okay i'm gonna start a wrestling promotion i'm gonna do it um but rent the people who rented us the original ring uh said that's enough that was too hard so uh after much investigation max decided the only course of action was to buy a wrestling ring to call his own we won't rest you we'll rent

you this ring uh it came back with all these coleslaw stains on it yeah yeah oh yeah was this the type of wrestling where people like they were putting barbed wire on their face and doing that kind of rolling around the glass. No, I would not. I would not support that. Fair, fair, fair. Gross. I think that's, I think it's disgusting. It is disgusting. It's gross enough as it is.

Yeah. The body, the skin. It's so nude and oily. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. Wear a turtleneck. When you see local wrestling, none of them are oiled up. Yeah.

And that's, you kind of miss that of the big show. Here's an idea. Give the audience super soakers full of oil. Everybody gets blinded instantly. Twice in hot oil. Out of the fire. It was solidifying otherwise. So, yeah, you did this huge success.

Then, so you bought a wrestling ring. Where the hell do you buy a wrestling ring from? Yeah, Max did his research, a lot of research. He was trying to buy a used one. He's like calling all over Canada. And believe it or not, it's not just something you can just kind of buy off the shelf. Yeah. Did he get it from murphybedscanada.com?

Yeah,.com. Did he get it from murphybedscanada.com? Yeah,.com. He got it from, I think, Monster Rings, Kentucky, which is the, so, they were so busy, which blows my mind. Like, they were so busy with orders that it took, like, 12 weeks for them to even get started on, I don't know, forging it? How do you make a wrestling ring? But they, but he had to figure out, like, how to import a wrestling ring across the border and like hiring a shipping company like it was just wow it really took over a lot of the summer and i would say would i rather been at the beach sure yeah well if he could get a good wi-fi he

could have done some research on the beach yeah yeah yeah he messed up he couldn't get a good wi-fi because he spent all his money on wrestling. So then it showed up like two days before this big show he'd planned. So the company's called Boom Pro Wrestling, and they're going to do nine shows this year. So between now and June, the second one's tomorrow. All sold out. The November show, selling like hotcakes. I think it's going to be big sold out. The November show. Selling like hotcakes. I think it's going to be big.

You know. When is the November show? I'm really only involved this. November 20. Hang on. Chat amongst yourselves. November 26. November 26.

Okay. Oh, I have a wedding that day. You can do both. Do it in the ring. Yeah. Miss Elizabeth did it. And look at her now. And look at her now and look at her now

you're right that worked out pretty well um the uh i'm so i'm on um monster rings and cages kentucky uh that's the one okay for the wrestling rings there's five options for you i i'm assuming you didn't go hexagon there's low boy pro wrestling ring there's pro wrestling ring style one pro wrestling ring style two and breakdown style pro wrestling ring do you any uh i have no idea i mean it sounds like you're gonna have a breakdown of this thing took any longer oh so uh um you like did it just come with instructions and they put it together or did you have to hire somebody he did put it together

but it was like right hot off the heels of putting this Murphy bed together and so I think Max was like a little tired of instruction books telling him what to do and so he and some of the other wrestlers just sort of freestyled it like how hard could it be so you knew the outcome was that

the ring was going to be finished it's got to be square yeah so they were they got it all put together it took them like two days to figure it out and then they were kind of bouncing around testing out the ropes and then they hopped off uh the ring and then it made this like huge like bang noise like a rocket had exploded and all the boards like popped out of the bottom of the the thing because they wound it too tight they just like smashed a bunch of stuff all the boards like down to be as tight as possible and then they like wound up all the the ropes and so they basically like had made a giant spring and it just like exploded oh my god so then they had to like start from scratch and build it i was like this is a death trap this really doesn't like well that's a good selling point like i'll buy tickets to a

death trap i'm sorry sorry i'm not going to that wedding now yeah i'm gonna go see this death trap ring but like it does if you hear like a up close it does seem like everybody's gonna fall through yeah the ring it makes like a big slam noise yeah yeah like an echoey slam it's bad yeah it's bad max went through on unlike his birthday slash coco's baptism i don't know what to call it um it ended with a grand finale of him getting thrown through a table and it was honestly the worst thing i've ever seen in my life it was so upsetting and it made like the worst noise because he just bought a table off of Craigslist

and like showed up the day I was like, the rest of the, they'll show me how to do it safely. I was like, do we want to practice? Yeah. Wow. Was there like a,

do they have to like weaken the table? Like, like, wait, no, don't break K-Fab. Yeah. And the baby was baptized. I'm guessing, don't break kayfabe. Yeah. And the baby was baptized.

I'm guessing you threw her through some holy water. Yeah. Yeah. Blaster with oil and bing bang boom. So, cause I went and watched, I watched this,

the first show. thanks for coming. Oh, it was a blast. It was so much fun. And there was, Max's mom was there as well. She did a big, she's a character in the boom universe. Yeah, thanks for coming. Oh, it was a blast. It was so much fun. And there was Max's mom was there as well. She did a big... She's a character in the Boom universe now.

She's so funny. She like gave what was it? Golden Boy Travis Williams. Yeah. Gave her a picture that he had painted. Is that what it was? Oh, no. Sorry. So she painted a picture for Ravenous Randy Myers. Yeah. Of Ravenous Randy Myers Myers and the baby because he'd been part of that show, the naming show.

Yeah. And so she brought him a painting to say thank you. And then golden boy, Travis Williams, took the painting and broke it over Ravenous Randy's head. And then he stood up on the ropes and said, your painting sucks shit. What? How good a painting was it? It was pretty good. Like someone said some real time on it? I can't reveal

behind the curtain. Fair enough. Mm-hmm. A lot of arts and crafts are happening in my home that I was living in. So maybe ghost writing and ghost painting is happening. Did you ever watch that show Ghostwriter? Oh, yeah. And I said, that's going to be me.

Yeah. Do you remember that show, Graham? I do, but I don't remember the conceit of it. There was a group of friends solving mysteries. One of the actors was named Sheldon Turnip Seed. That's such a good kid book name yeah no it's not even a character it's an actor and uh where is he now where are you he's married to miss elizabeth and he i'm gonna let him out and this group of friends they i would not look up any child actor if you want to save your mental health um the this group of friends they i would not look up any child actor if you want to save your mental health

um the this group of friends was like solving mysteries and they had the help of uh a ghost who could read and like could find letters in rooms and did it like go into a computer am i wrong about that yeah maybe sometimes out of a computer like a floppy disk how's sheldon doing? He changed his name legally in the year 2009. To Ron Turnipseed. To Tyrone Gabriel. What the hell?

That's a big switch. That means that name's up for grabs, though. I know, but I was going to change my name to Tyrone Gabriel. Back to the drawing board. Sheldon Termes. Yeah. It's going to be stuck in my head forever. Yeah. So are you going to be,

are you going to be a featured player at all in this wrestling? Are you, you just work in the door or are you, or is there a storyline maybe we can look forward to? Oh my God. I'm just sort of waiting for my invitation. I'm, I'm just a humble bartender at these events.

So please, please come on by visiting me at the bar. Yeah. But you know, any, any minute now I'm ready, ready for my star turn. Yeah.

Ready for my heel turn. Yes. Oh yes. Has anybody done a heel turn? Not yet. Cause they're sort of like setting up a lot of the characters for sort of longer storylines. So I, I will say, you know, characters are going to evolve, develop.

We got Uncle Daddy Tony Barone, evil landlord. Who knows what he's going to get up to? Comedian Kyle Fiennes is like one of the managers. And he is always bumming around and bragging about how many shares of the company he owns he's causing some trouble and there's also uh one of the matches was a wrestler versus abraham lincoln yes he was a abraham lincoln famous wrestler yeah exactly he was wearing a big big hat and had the beard and everything it was great yeah he's back he's got a longer arc and as i was working the bar with uh somebody else who works at the Legion, and she was really funny because we're serving up the drinks,

and she looks up at Abraham Lincoln, and she's like, wow, didn't expect it, but that really does it for me. Got to go into my penny collection. Yeah. How about? Yeah. I just, you know, four score and seven years did in my pants I don't know

oh well what else does he do does he say anything else fun yeah what are his catchphrases oh yeah oh yeah

everyone in the foyer when you have Abraham Lincoln you pull the string on the back gabba gabba hey he says can't wait to see

this play oh yeah maybe she could be like I just had a log cabin in my pants. That makes it sound like she shit herself. Yeah. Because she's so horny. Graham wants to know all about the plots and heel turns. I'm just like, where do you store the ring?

Yeah, where do you store the ring? Under the stage at the Legion. Oh, my. Yeah, they're so nice they've really uh taken taken backs under their their wing oh that's beautiful under the ring yeah nice okay well i don't want anyone hearing this and like having an oceans 11 style ring heist yeah but like and then hiring the same people same wrest wrestlers to assemble after they steal it. Oh, my God.

And a legion across town, right? That's awesome. What a freaking productive couple of years it's been for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're like kind of my pandemic, like, I guess you're on my pandemic vision board. Oh, my God. It's so nice. Pandemic, like, I guess you're on my pandemic vision board. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's so nice.

Yeah, because I feel like all I did was rediscover my love of banana bread. I feel like that was my big achievement. We can talk about that. I love it so much. It's moist. It's nice to chew. It smells nice. You like coconut in there?

You ever? I like a chocolate chip in there. Oh, yeah. Or like a little sprinkling of cocoa or cinnamon do you put a crust on the top? I like a sugary crust I like it to be

I like it to crackle a little bit when I put the knife in it I like to just scream Dave what's going on with you man well i like i prefer pumpkin bread i don't think it's a superior bread what about a zucchini bread uh yeah that's fine i don't yeah it's fucking delicious yeah for me it's like oh uh banana bread is the thing you make because you had too many bananas and you didn't want to throw them away yeah and but so now it feels like it's a chore like i have to well dispose of these bananas like hiding a body all we're doing is we're so committed to not wasting food that we have to

make a food we don't even really like yeah garbage food you guys are wrong you're wrong banana bread's delish um here's what's going on with me you were talking about oil before oiling each other up hot oil not you two oil each other up but the uh so i saw this thing on my um on my Instagram commercials that was, I don't even know what the commercial was, just like some amazing product. The algorithm wanted me to see, which was this like a little packet of kind of gelatin powder that if you ever have, if you're ever cooking with a big thing of oil, like deep frying anything, you just, and you have to dispose of the oil later. You pour this powder in, stir it in, and it turns the whole thing into like a gelatin puck. And that's my favorite loaf, actually. Can I slice you off a crystal clear? Yeah.

Do you want some butter in that? So good with jam. It's got a bit of it's I think it's made of there's oil in it yeah I think yeah um so I

I ordered some of that and then what are you gonna do with it well Abby's mom was staying with us and she brought up some

chicken wings some like raw chicken wings and I was like we're deep frying these nice deep frying these

in our Dutch oven and uh so I did that and uh then I they were good and afterwards I poured the powder in and in the commercials it comes out so smooth it comes out in one big thing and yeah you just end up scraping out a big thing of goop because it's also like that was easier you end up with all the whatever the breading and the stuff that fell off the food you were deep frying right and so the whole thing is that it was supposed to make this a step easier for you it is and it does because like dealing with a big pot of oil is gross. Like you can put it in your green bin. You're, you're,

uh, Oh, okay. Or you're super soaker that you're, or you could just throw it in the, the dogs could tear it apart. You could let them. that's true.

Uh, but normally it's really hard to dispose of. Now it's kind of hard to dispose of. Still reeks up the house. Um, Kind of hard to dispose of. Still reeks up the house. The other thing that's going on with me is we have an extended summer here in Vancouver. Yeah, no kidding. Where's the city informer to tell me why that's going on? I think I know why it's going on.

Yeah, I mean, climate emergency. It's because a lot of the people from Vancouver are either British or Chinese. And they like long summers. But it was very weird because it was like I was wearing shorts in the middle of October. It's the best.

It was terrible. I was still like watering my plant like I had put away my shorts for the year in late September in the Disney vault in the Disney vault who are the best Disney shorts wearers Mickey

Pinocchio yeah Pinocchio boy Mickey for sure probably top place is Mickey yeah I guess it's the Donald no pants goofy pants boy. Mickey for sure. Probably top place is Mickey. Yeah, I guess it's the boy. Donald, no pants. No pants. Goofy pants. And they do like a cartoon of Casey at the

bat that had like, he had nine daughters. Yeah. Is that them? That's them. Do they wear shorts? For some reason that is sticking out to me. Formative memory. There's the baby Herman from the Roger Rabbit film, but he's wearing a diaper. Diaper.

Yeah. Roger Rabbit, I guess, wears shorts. No, he wore overalls. Come on now. You just kick me off the Zoom. Unbelievable. Come prepared, Stacey. Yeah.

I guess I'm just a bit confused. What's the difference between shorts and a diaper? Not much. I mean, the wearability. What's the difference between shorts and a diaper? Not much. I mean, the wearability, I suppose. Wait, what were you wearing, Dave? When you say I was still wearing shorts. So I was still wearing these, like, they have, I guess they're kind of like Velcro straps on the sides. And I can pee in them.

Oh, yeah, I make Boom Boom. I make Wee Wee. Mm-hmm. You wear, like, one like the sumo wrestlers do you wear the right yeah but with suspenders oh sumo wrestlers are they japanese Beatles sumo darling nice nice well done okay um yeah and i was like and then the other thing i was like because uh summer was lasting so long i was you know i had this i i was still using my summer deodorant until like late october now hold the wait wait wait what what the hell you're trying to slip that past us without us asking some questions your

summer deodorant well like is it a summer like scent profile like something no no no no i i have this like natural deodorant but it's not strong enough for like actual hot days it's only good in you know when it's cold out yeah if uh So I need to use like right guard in the summer. Yeah. Like industrial strength ruining your body. Yeah. So that's my summer deodorant is. I understand that.

Heavy duty. Heavy duty stuff that kind of looks, it's like, you know, it's blue and glistening and kind of looks a little bit like that oil gelatin I've been making. But now then it's like a oh yeah also we have weird bugs in the city not just the japanese beetles but now we all have like stink bugs stink bugs yeah do you ever think atlanta i don't know i don't think so there's no big sign saying stay out stink bugs so no you wouldn't you you wouldn't even be able to get rid of them Yeah there was a thing I looked it up and it was I think a city website thing or somebody

A biologist saying If you see them you gotta kill them I was like this is my job now City I have to kill them But yeah apparently It's weird they said the same thing about raccoons The city has just gone insane yeah and it's just a link to where you could buy a cheap shotgun it's like if you

can't have a shotgun yeah it's like i don't know strangling's good yeah but they can strangle you too because they have thumbs that's what's so scary about raccoons and have you ever seen them eat a grape like that's just like a human eyeball, you know? I feel like they could just get in there. But then the weather changed and we're suddenly, it's suddenly raining, pouring all the time now. There was no in between. You have a rainy day deodorant? It's my, yeah, it's my natural one.

Oh, okay. You don't have like cold day no rain cold yeah i've got yeah it's like a library he goes into like a big wardrobe and opens it up and there's just like all these different i've got a john popper uh harmonica vest full of different deodorants um uh but now i have and last year was the same a two raincoat rotation i have to have like one raincoat drying off and another raincoat right yeah i only got the one i got the one i let it dry off as much as i can before i head out into the world again two stacy do you have two raincoats i just have one yeah but this is i like this too to idea i have although maybe if you put

on a damp raincoat you're like you can't hurt me weather yeah yeah you've already done the worst the uh i have like you know like a waterproof one and then i have like an old timey like what they would call raincoats that don't actually repel rain but they look like you know what i mean what i'm talking about like how old timey like from the 50s or 60s yeah like kind of a trench coat but not like detective trench coats just like a long kind of but it's called a raincoat but it's i don't think you'd wear it in the rain is the thing well it's like you know when they call sneakers or tennis shoes depending on what part of the country you're in. That's right.

Running shoes, runners. Runners, sneakers. Trainers. Trainers, yep. I bought a rain hat a couple years ago. During the pandemic when I was like, we're all going to be hanging out outside in the rain and we just need to get the right gear for it. And then it'll be fun to be in the wet park. So I got like a fisherman's hat, like a nor'easter they're called um and i this is good it's good big wide brim

you know hands-free it's like wearing an umbrella on your head is it yellow no it's uh it's a navy it's a sophisticated navy ah's a sophisticated Navy. Ah, yes. This is awesome. But, Graham, I really like a yellow nor'easter for you. I feel like that's good. Yeah. That's on brand. Yeah. I like that.

I think I would eat a lot more spinach, I guess. Yeah, you would maybe end up, you know, in the salty brine. Yes. Yeah, that's right. You would die in the perfect storm. He died the way heine. Yes. Yeah, that's right. He would die in the perfect storm. He died the way he lived. Yeah. Alongside Mark Wahlberg.

So that's going on. It's Halloween time. By the time this episode comes out, Halloween is over. Pretty much. What were your costumes? I was a nerd in a sweater vest. much what were your costumes i was a nerd in a sweater vest and it was it was good of you to let other trick-or-treaters beat you up and push you into a hedge um are you costuming graham i am yeah i am uh i'm going as forest gump when he is in his running phase. That's so good.

So it's a, it's just a matter of assembling eighties running. So I've got the socks. I've got a pair of short shorts. Okay. I ordered a Bubba Gump trip hat. Yeah. Yeah.

What does he have? Like a wind breaker? He does it through all the seasons too. Yeah. So I have a wind breaker. I also have like, what do you call those like baseball shirts with the rim yeah like a ring

ring shirt I guess ringu a ringu tee yeah so that's my costume that's so good are you doing anything Stacey yeah so now I'm so excited to have a baby now because that really is taking costuming to a new

dimension for me i love love halloween um max famously has worn the same hot dog costume for halloween for the last 10 years so my mom bought coco a hot dog costume so i was like okay what can i be to kind of complete this set so he's gonna be a hot dog she's gonna be a hot dog i'm gonna be a man selling hot dogs. Nice. Yes. So I'm going to get like a New York ball cap, like big puffy jacket, mustache, apron with like mustard and ketchup.

I think a sign that says like hot dogs, one dollar. This rules. They're very well done. Very, very well done. I think the alternative would have been if I was like a wiener dog and it could sort of be like, oh no,, she misread the memo. That's really good. Or a dog in a hot car.

Oh, yeah. Dave, you said that, I think you said in the last episode what Margo and Poppy are going as, but I can't remember now. Yeah. Margo is going to be. Okay. Well, last Halloween, she was Addison from Disney's Zombies 2. And this year, she's Addison from Disney's Zombies 3. Poppy will be a black cat.

Nice. Easy. Easy, easy, classic. Last weekend, we watched Hocus Pocus with them. The OG? The OG. I had never seen it before. And I sent a picture to you, Graham, that the bully, the blonde haired bully, looked an awful lot like teen Graham.

Because Graham, as a teenager, had long, straight blonde hair. Yeah. had long straight blonde hair yeah parted in the middle and it was it was hilarious how uh close that photo was and the picture i have of you you're wearing like a shirt unbuttoned with a wife beater underneath i don't call them a tank top thank you a wave hugger yeah exactly let's change the narrative on this uh well those are great this is we're doing great halloween all around yeah um so that's what's what's up with me nothing what's up with you also really nothing but i went this past week. I went to our nation's capital, Ottawa, Ontario.

And you were there to run for prime minister. That's how it was. I drove my truck there. I'm trying to send a message. It wasn't so much a convoy. It was just me hogging my horn on Spark Street, which is the only street in Ottawa yeah thank you I just remember Bruce Coburn doing commercials for

Worldview the address was 56 yeah 56 Spark Street Ottawa anyways I don't know have either of you guys been to Ottawa Graham you and I have performed there together oh we did perform there. That's true.

Where did we perform? In the basement, in a very hot, hot basement of a stone building. And we were like, oh, well, at least this building is stone, so it won't be so hot. It was hell. It was the sweatiest show. And then the sound guy was like,

yeah, it's all ready to go and then at the end he did not record the show yeah he recorded himself turning off the equipment and be like good job done anyways yeah but uh i was there what was the little area it was like um whatever market that we were in or whatever by word by way bar by word sure anyway the b word market bitch market but it's uh i was there uh with the cbc radio show the debaters and so we like we'll tape in the evening when are you gonna get promoted to as it happens? Uh, you know what?

They won't have me. I tried, I applied and they said, you know what? You're more of a, on the coast kind of guy. Oh, cool.

What does that mean? I said, um, but, uh, Oh, you know what? Cheryl McKay host of on the coast who we've been on her show before.

She's retiring. Oh, yeah. Where we are on the coast or where we are on north by northwest oh i just remember being interviewed by sharon okay that's all that's all i remember um anyways we tape in the evening we're usually done around 10 and then the big thing is everybody goes out to a pub we all you know have a nice post-show drink and here's the trick in ottawa everything closes at 10 every bar doing last call at like quarter to 10 there's uh like the the more uh downtown bars

are open till 11 and so it's insane and it's and it's not like it's not like oh the bars are being crazy there's so many people out like the city is done the city is done by you know 10 p.m 10 30 the latest so 10 30 in newfoundland but uh uh so yeah i didn't have a drink after the show. So I just went back to my room and I was like, okay, well, I'll just order a pizza. All the pizza places were closed. But I was like, one place that I'll see you through no matter where you go, coast to coast, Domino's Pizza. Domino's Pizza will take care of you. They're open till all hours of the night. Domino's Pizza closes 11 p.m.

Insane. In absolute insanity. That's a crime. Yes you yes it's a crime lock them up i guess yeah i guess and uh boy i feel like this is a thing this is a graham late motif that comes up in quite a few episodes where it's late and you're hungry uh and i can't wait to hear where this one goes so what have you been doing all this late night snacking very stopped it's very good very good um uh so i did eventually find a pizza place that was open. It charged like super premium to have it delivered. And it came and it was the most hilariously bad pizza I've ever seen in my life. Like frozen pizza would have been more looking like a pizza than this thing.

But I had to eat it. And so I had a couple slices. That was enough. Put it in the bar fridge, right? Hotel room has a bar fridge. Maybe I'll eat a piece in the morning. Maybe it'll be okay in the morning. Open it up in the morning.

The thing is frozen solid. I've never had a bar fridge be remotely cold, no matter where I've gone coast to coast. This thing froze it like a block of ice. Wow. I know. And that's how pizza popsicles were born. I'm just licking it.

But then in the morning, you could have gotten other food because presumably presumably opens bright and early there 5 a.m rising grand apparently the big thing in ottawa amongst the uh government populace there is lunch lunch is a big deal everybody like has a big lunch apparently the big thing in ottawa is lunch wow they're so cosmopolitan if you haven't had an ottawa lunch you haven't lived it's also just it's like my hotel you could see the parliament buildings from my hotel, which I think they're fixing. So it's just cranes everywhere trying to fix the parliament building.

Like the Senate is in some stadium down the road or something like that. Everything's in disarray. When we went, it was summertime, and we went to a weird outdoor beer garden. Yeah, that overlooked the parliament buildings, if I'm not mistaken. Dave, what deodorant were you wearing though? At that time it would have been summer deodorant.

Summer deodorant. Yeah. Probably two coats of it because it was so hot in Ottawa. Muggy. Yeah. Yeah. Reapply. Midday reapply.

Fresh it up. You got to. You got it. Just so you know, I don't do like four season deodorant. I do one for the fall winter. I do one for spring summer. Not me, I'm monthly.

This month. Deodorant of the month club. Yeah, I actually get. Well, it's like that. They send you a box, a refrigerated box with all the ingredients to make your own deodorant. A refrigerated deodorant in the summer? It's the best. That sounds nice, actually.

That's what I do in the summer. I've actually done it, and it is so nice. You should go back to that hotel in Ottawa and have your bar fridge. Yeah, ice cold. Yeah. Yummy, yummy. I remember years and years ago trying a crystal deodorant. Have you ever tried a crystal deodorant?

I dated a girl named Crystal Deodorant. Yeah, I mean, it's crystals. It was hilariously. You spray on the crystal something, right? And then you rub the crystal. Or you just take raw crystal on. You put crystal underwater and then you're supposed to apply it. Oh, okay.

And there couldn't have been less of a thing to work. Putting crystal underwater. That sounds like my ex-girlfriend Crystal Deodorant's baptism. I thought you were going to say murder. I was like, Dave, Dave, so dark. But I'm the one who's dark. Sometimes you hear about something and you're like, that sounds like that can't possibly work, but why would they

like, it's so crazy, it just it must. That's what I thought. Like, why would they be suggesting it if it didn't work? But there's a segment of the population who will buy Crystal anything. Yeah. That's true. Crystal Pepsi. Crystal Mess. Jinx. Good work, you guys. Anyways, Ottawa's a swing in town. you want to come there for your bachelor party

as long as you see pizza you want to go for your bachelor party and you're 80 years old that's right you're looking for a bachelor lunch basically an ice cold pizza bachelor lunch welcome to to Ottawa. When you hear your family. Should we move on to some overheards? Yeah. Hooray. I'm Lisa Hanawalt. And I'm Emily Heller.

Wow, Emily, we've been doing this podcast for 10 years. I know. But hey, don't worry. You can jump in at literally any episode and hear us talk about some of our favorite stuff. Caterpillars becoming butterflies. Martha Stewart flying around in a private jet full of trees. Yes, you heard me right. Trees.

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You might not learn anything, but we're a good hang. Baby Geniuses. Every other week on MaximumFun.org. Baby Geniuses. Tell us something we don't know. Hi, I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart. And I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective. Our comedy podcast, Jordan, Jesse, Go, just celebrated its 15th anniversary. It was a

couple months ago, but we forgot. Yeah, completely. Our silly show is 15 years old. That makes it old enough to get its learners permit and almost old enough to get the talk. Wow. I hope you got the talk before then. A lot of things have changed in 15 years our show's not one of them we're never changing and you can't make us jordan jesse go the same forever at maximumfund.org or wherever you get your podcasts Overheard Update The skin is still The apple peel is still in my teeth

Okay But no floss has been applied No no no I will if I have to Not during the show I thought there was movement at one point But it didn't come out Can I tell you my idea For at the fair Or at the carnival I thought there was movement at one point, but it didn't come out.

Can I tell you my idea for at the fair or at the carnival? That you sell a whole cob of corn, but everybody gets a little piece of floss. It's pretty good, right? Or you give corn away for free and charge for the floss. Oh, $100. That's right. is five dollars but if you want that satisfaction you can get a foot of floss or for ten dollars as long as my arms span i think when you buy raffle tickets stacy it's brilliant it's mind-boggling when they when you buy a thing of floss and you look at the label and it's like 200 yards of floss but then like does your uh dental hygienist or dentist

when they pull out the floss they like wrap it around their fingers like a bunch of times jesus that's that's eating up like they're wrapping their hands for boxing. Yeah. Like they're playing Cat's Cradle. Yeah, like they're just going to garrote you in the middle of the dentist's office. Okay, we're ready to go for Overheard. Everybody good? All right. Overheard's a segment where, boy, oh boy, what fun it is to hear somebody saying some trash. And you know what?

Some people's trash, another man's treasure. And we treasure them here on the podcast and stacy we always like to start with the guest oh that's nice yeah do you have a do you have an overheard yeah i'm spending a lot of time around children lately brag um like kids say the darndest things moment and there was this uh like a four-year-old on the playground uh he seemed to have like a little brother around he was making conversation with adults he's like yeah my i'm four my brother's two every day i get up i'm two years older than him yes that rules he's not wrong he's not wrong yeah and it's that's a lot that's a lot for a kid

to deal with every day and then he said i'm not in high school though uh um yeah what are you when are you seeing these kids is at the park mostly visiting with other yeah coco and i are hitting up the swings oh yeah and do you have to talk to the other parents that are there that's kind of the thing you have to make convo yeah it's mostly very focused on the the child though you're like how how old are they and like what's their name like you rarely get a an adult name or or age yeah how old are you how old are you yeah what are your business insights? What's your outlook? What's your thought leadership? Yeah, what's your thought leadership?

Do you need to go straighter? I guess it's probably like dog folks are like that too, I think. Right. Oh, yeah. In the dog park, you're just talking about the dog and never go beyond that. Fair, yeah. Yeah, the worst one I had was when we got our puppy, our first of two puppies. was uh we got when we got our puppy our first of two puppies there was a woman at outside uh the kids school and i brought the dog uh and she was a kid's grandma and she was like oh i love puppies

of course i can't get one because i'll die before it does i was like oh okay how do we back into this conversation no no you're not gonna die you're never gonna die what if you get an old dog yeah make sure it dies before you and she's like i can't get an old dog i love teaching new tricks uh dave do you have an over here yeah mine's from TV. So Vancouver has a big rash of property crime. And look, I'm not going to solve this. You got to get Harriet the spy in there. Yeah. It's pretty obvious that when it happened, it's just a guy with a brick.

Yeah, that's true. It's the most simple crime there is, you ask me yeah there was a guy with a brick on the news well a guy had been like just picturing him on the news man with brick what are you gonna do next man with brick uh well he had apparently uh smashed up a bank a couple months ago and was like once again smashing up a bank and he smashed 20 windows at this bank with a brick wow but but the video was just a guy the guy filming him like this supposed good samaritan who's like morally superior to the bank smashing guy and he was just yelling at the guy hey hey this doesn't solve anything

I don't think the guy smashing throwing a brick at a bank is trying to solve it yeah exactly he's like airflow I'm trying to join the conversation is what I'm doing I think I'm just trying to scratch that

window smash an itch it's commentary capitalism yeah it's art it's performance art um i uh yeah it's a bit a lot of uh i can't everywhere i go i feel like i see a smashed window at least in the vicinity so I think somebody's trying to solve some kind of problem maybe rage problems yeah they want more business for their glass company

uh huh yeah of course it's you know who's behind this all now I have to name a famous glass magnate. What am I going to do? Go on. No, we'll wait.

Michael Payne's worth. Nice. Michael Payne's worth. Yeah, that is nice. Shane Windshield. Yeah. All that time that I came up with uh john d windex these are the other possibilities from the windex fortune um yeah a lot of these smash windows can just be solved

for the windex well have you tried wiping them yeah the, the brick's too hard. Yeah, exactly. It'll just smash the goddamn thing. My Overheard is part two of Overheard from last week. Oh, because you asked if I wanted a TV Overheard or a real-life Overheard. Is that right?

No, this was from last week. We put out into the world last week's guest, Chris Locke. There was a note on my phone, my notes app that I couldn't decipher what it was because of, I think, so much predictive text. It was inscrutable. It was inscrutable. This is what it was. Stacey, do you think there's anyone who had, quote, at on their smiles very time they see it pee?

Was that is, that's,'s i can and when i say quote can you say it again yes do you think there is anyone who had quote at on there was smiles very time they see it letter p and you were going to say something about quote the word quote it's not actually quotes okay can you say it again? One more time. Do you think there's anyone who had quote at on there was smiles very time

they see it, the letter P. One more time. Okay. Do you think? When Chris last week was asking you to do it over and over again you cut him off eventually that's all i'm doing and i got you okay um so that's the the quote stacy any guesses on what that could possibly mean you want him to do it again

i think it you were um it's from a dream. Sleep texting? I think it was something where I thought of it probably when I was just trying to fall asleep and then quickly jotted it down and didn't bother to fix the predictive text. But yesterday, a listener to the podcast named Claire Bender on Twitter, she put this forward as a theory. She says, was it, do you think there is anyone who has a quote tat on them who smiles every time they see it? And I think that is exactly. That sounds like something you would wonder. Yeah.

Yeah. That's and I think that's winner winner. She got it right. And I was trying to figure it out and i always thought like oh yeah is somebody who gets something like breather yeah yeah and every time they see it they're like oh yeah oh yeah don't forget what quote would you get like uh get what you text get your predictive text yeah i got I have that tattooed. I, of course, have a sexy poem on my ribs. I'm going to see what, if I do live, love, laugh with protective text. With productive text. Live, love, laugh.

Live, laugh, laugh. Liz, laugh, laugh. Live, laugh, laugh. Laugh laugh, laugh. Liz, laugh, laugh. Live, laugh, laugh. Laf, laugh. Laf, laugh. Live, math, laugh. That would be a good one if you were like a mathlete. Oh, what it comes out as, live Lori Lovely.

So there you go. Oh, I love Lori Laughlin. Have a look at love Lori Laughlin. I don't think she should go to jail. She should come over here. Yeah. That's the whole tattoo. I think you should get one of those big

Nor'easter hats and get Live Laugh Love Landlubber. Nice. That's good. I want to call people Landlubber, but you know what? I get seasick, so I can't. Yeah, I fucking love the land. Yeah, I love it.

I love it. That'll be like a slur in the future when the ocean is taken over and we all live in a water world future. Right. What are you, some kind of land lover? Whoa! Whoa! Hold on a minute. You can't say that!

Yeah, that's the L word. Yeah, the L word. You guys have seen Waterworld, right? No. No. The big thing is it's a world of water. It's a world of water. Make no mistake.

But one of the things they love and that they trade in is dirt. They love dirt because you can't get dirt anywhere. I had all this dirt right here, I swear, but now there's just mud where it was? What's going on? Who took my dirt?

So salty. Salty mud. Now we also have overheard sent in from people all over the map. If you want to send one in to us, send it in to SP all over this crazy

water world of ours. All across this land that we love. SBY at MaximumFun.org. And the first one comes from Doug F. Parts unknown. I was at a Halloween screening of Young Frankenstein. I don't want to dox this guy. But is it Doug Fuck?

Yeah, it's Doug Fuck. How did you know that? Is he a famous punk musician? He lives at 123 Buck Avenue. You shouldn't be swearing in your kid's room. It's going to get absorbed into the walls. And then you're going to be able to. Like nicotine.

Just dripping down. Kill. Story. I got more. See, were you swearing in here? No. I was at a Halloween screening of Young Frankenstein over the weekend. And as a couple walked into the theater to find their seats, I overheard a woman say,

I'm going to hate myself after this. Like, is it because you won't be able to sleep because you're so scared? Or, you know, you're going to worry about popping a stitch because you're laughing so hard what movie was it? Young Frankenstein? Oh sure yeah I'm gonna hate myself the Mel Brooks classic probably the best thing he ever did if you ask me

people don't like Spaceballs people older than me don't like Spaceballs. I watched it a couple weeks ago and the scene with the alien is probably the best comedy scene of that whole decade where the alien pops out of the chest. Oh yeah and dances.

I mean they're all alien to that movie. Yeah but this the popping out of the chest dancing down the dinner table. Do you know what we're talking about here Stacey? Is this Spaceballs? I don't. Spaceballs? Oh I know Spaceballs. Sorry, for some reason I thought you said Alien.

Oh, yeah. Well, yes. It was a parody from Alien. Stacey, can we call you Spaceballs? Oh, ideally. That's my full legal name. Doug fucking Spaceballs. Stacey Spaceballs McLaughlin.

The next one comes from Pat C. in Queens, New York How's it Pat? Nevermind I'll just recuse myself from this I went to a baseball game last week and saw a guy wearing a shirt with several of the same sports cars on the back

Each car was in various action poses. Each also had a name. So one was Blue Rhino, Carbon, Hurricane, Kimbo, King Kong, and Circumciser. What are these, monster trucks?

I guess they're monster trucks, yeah. Or the middle name options for sure yeah dog circumciser fuck now he sounds hot yeah he sounds hot it's yeah he's the big crosby yeah he's the abe lincoln of monster truck um have either you been to a monster truck show or rally? No, I would love to. That's like the one rally I would feel comfortable going to. There's so much fun. Yeah.

Yeah. It's crazy. Don't go. Don't go because your husband will then buy a mud pit. He's so impressionable at this age. 40. Just the idea of you sitting

in the apartment just taking care of your young daughter and then just hearing hug, hug outside the window. Guess what? No, not again.

I'm 41 now. Every year. These are like, I mean, I guess it's a midlife crisis, isn't it? There's no other word for it. What's weird is that like his job is he's a financial counselor. It just seems so crazy. So like if somebody's sitting in there in his office and then they go, I know you from somewhere.

Yeah. Hey, you're supposed to tell me what I'm not supposed to spend money on, right? Yeah. Yeah. Well, I know from experience, Murphy bed. Yeah. Although I bet you a wrestling ring doesn't depreciate as much as many things. It sounds like you can sell one.

That's what he kept saying, but then I'm like, who are you selling it to? A guy like him. Yeah. Maybe we should just plant a seed now. If anyone listening wants to buy a wrestling ring, let's say five to ten years. Okay. You've got nine shows set up, but then after that, who knows? Goodbye wrestling ring. Yeah Goodbye, wrestling ring.

Yeah. Goodbye, wrestling ring. Elton John. You were a giant square with four posts and you fell down on the floor. This is about them. Yeah. Your turnbuckles were full of some kind of foam. Oh, yeah. What are the turnbuckles?

Are they like sand or what are they? No, I don't know actually I haven't touched them I'll ask Yeah Sheldon Turnbuckle would be a great name for it Oh my god Sheldon Turnbuckle This last one comes from

David from Toronto In a downtown Downtown Toronto I was walking by a group of teenagers, and one of them said, I've never even used a yield sign. Yeah, you know, use them as you want. Yeah, exactly, as you see fit. I'm still just picturing the monster truck coming home, just being parked in front of us on a residential street. Yeah.

Just on that sidewalk. I guess they could just park over top of the other cars. That's the advantage. It is a garage. We could cut down traffic in this city if only half the people would start driving monster trucks. And then you sort of have like a two-layer traffic system happening. And the monster trucks have a bumper sticker that says one less car.

Yeah. Eco heroes. That would be great. A monster truck that has the little decals on the back of the family. Of the like. Oh the little trucks. Like the demolition car. Yes. Yeah I think I went when I was a kid to a monster truck thing and i just remember very loud

very yeah uh noxious very noxious and they we did in the same show it was monster truck crushing cars and then also a demolition derby and demolition derby looked like the most fun that you could possibly have yeah how do you get into that i'm gonna have a car that you're looking to get rid of have bad car yeah yeah it needs to run but not not well there's a really fun demolition derby video game i haven't played in it just occurred to me like three years oh yeah i forget what it's called it's really good, though. It's a ton.

Like when I was a kid, I was like, when I grow up, 100%, that'll be the first thing I do is find an old car, join a demolition derby. And you know what? I did. And it was great. And that's how I became the champ. It's called Wreckfest. I looked at it. It was called Wreckfest. It's good.

That's my recommendation. Wreck-mandation for this holiday season. Nice. For this holiday season. Imagine they have like a European version and it's called Continental Wreckfest. I bet in England they call it a demolition derby. Yeah. Yeah.

Absolutely. Well, in addition to overhears that that are written and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 that's one spy pod one like these people have hey um i just had an overheard um i was walking into a wal Walmart and this old dude was handing a shopping cart to like the greeter at the door and he said the most quintessential old man joke ever and he said I just filled her up with gas

for you so young dude the helper didn't laugh at all but I let out a super loud guffaw because I thought it was worth it hilarious thanks and that you know probably made it up to the guy that he felt like it was it was just the audience this is a good joke yeah yeah he's like i'm putting that one in my in my type five i'm gonna write into my notes here oh shit what does it mean what did i say i was probably like i'm going to walmart today i might

get to use my shopping cart joke dust that out also do you ever get the weird you guys ever get that shopping cart that's got the one crazy wheel yes oh my god i remember reading a piece in like i think rolling stone where somebody was traveling with johnny cash and they stopped at a walmart at like one in the morning to buy some sweats or something and so johnny cash like did his own shopping and he walked around and everything he put in his cart was black and then he grabbed one blue sweatshirt and then continued to shop and then at the last minute put the

blue sweatshirt back. He got a brand to protect here. Johnny Cash at 1am buying sweats. Can you imagine? You're just stocking shelves. Like this is when i do all my shopping i left for tour without any sweat without any sweats sometimes even in johnny cash wants like

a soft pant yeah you know he deserves tv oh sure yeah i love guy fieri slaving away on food network man oh man he's hosting like upwards of five shows which is too many for one person if you ask me yeah he needs to talk about

work life balance a little more I think oh shit that's the other thing in Ottawa the one place I went to for lunch

Folsom County when I was going for lunch Guy Fieri had been at the restaurant that that uh we were eating at and had a big uh cookie sheet with his face spray painted on he does like three seasons of that show a year he's been to every restaurant at this point yeah i uh honestly i don't understand how he would have like how this restaurant would have got it because it was, I thought they did lunch really big in Ottawa.

Well, I think they maybe pay a little bit to guide it. Oh, you think they grease the grease? There might be a little bit of payola going on. The Michelin, people who give Michelin stars just gave eight stars in Vancouver. Yeah. Oh, really? No, they gave two stars and a bunch of recommendations okay you're from the food magazine here yeah and what do you know off the top of your

head what these places are not that i'll ever be able to afford to go to either of them um st lawrence and analina oh i believe are the two um starred restaurants and then they have a bunch of like tons of recommendations and they're all good. Catalina has, I don't know if they still do, but during the pandemic they had, like, take-home pizza kits. Ah! So you can become the

Michelin star chef. Yeah, you can be Mr. Michelin. You can be the Michelin man. Because his name is, my brother's in town getting laser eye surgery and so we've been spending a lot of time together the past two days and he's brought up multiple times that the michelin man's name is by bennin what the michelin star like the michelin man like the big tire puffy tire guy his name is by bennin by bennin yeah that sounds like my deodorant by bennin that's how I remember it.

Joe Biden. Anyways, that's just a fun fact. He's puttering around the apartment wearing sunglasses. He had to wear them to sleep. That's pretty funny. Oh, that is cool. Oh, wearing sunglasses to sleep sounds rad. It sounds like something your parents would say, like, take those off before you go to bed. Is your brother...

Now it's going to sound stupid if I'm wrong. Is your brother Corey Hart? Busted. Here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave Graham, Impossible Guest. This is Noelle from Iowa. I've been overheard from a Halloween party. There was a dad and his daughter walking to the party together.

And he was commenting on her costume. And he said, you look beautiful. Don't pee in that was she dressed as a diaper baby don't you pee in that um yeah did you like could you when you have a kid that's like very very young three months say is that an appropriate age to be putting a costume on somebody or is that too early or just anything anytime anytime okay all right you're not gonna you know paint their face or anything but you're gonna put them in something

cute i think when i might i think with a two month old we had like we i'm a cool mom we dressed you're cool we dress the dog up like the baby and the baby up like the dog and we put like whiskers on the baby so yeah that's pretty good yeah probably not like a full face you know my brother dressed up my nephew when he was first first uh around for his first halloween and they dressed him exactly like one scene from Friends where Jennifer Aniston is wearing like black and red checkered pants and they like checkered pants on and she had like a hoodie wrapped around her waist and she had a certain

color shirt so they dressed her dressed her up. That's fun. Work you with what they have. I like that. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely. Anyways. Final phone call. Hi Dave and Graham. This is Will in Ohio with an overheard, uh, just got passed on the highway by someone in an enormous lifted red pickup truck with the license plate virgin. Well, off I go.

I'm not pouring any more effort into losing my virginity. I'm going to go all, I'm leaning into it. I'm going to make, I'm going to be the virgin truck. Richard Branson. Oh, yeah. Is Richard Branson a famous virgin? Yes, Graham. Yes, Graham.

No, don't. He's the most famous virgin of all. Don't correct him. He's a famous virgin. The most famous virgin of all. Don't correct him. He's a famous virgin. Richard Branson, famous for never having had sex. That's why he named his company that, right?

Mm-hmm. No, because they were new to business. But now they need to rebrand. Slut. Because they've been around for so long. Old slut. Old slut in a frickin' hot air balloon. Brand. old slut old slut in a freaking hot air balloon

brand slut airlines you're listening to old slut radio boy they're everywhere well that does bring us to the end of this podcast Stacy tell us all about where

people can find and enjoy and see and like, I assume clips from the wrestling or live somewhere. Where can a person online go to find all that? Yeah, go to Boom Pro Wrestling on Instagram.

They've got a website as well, but kind of all the fun marketing and promos and bits and bobs are there yeah or follow me on Instagram too Stacey underscore McLaughlin okay

I've got shows sometimes comedy shows yeah nothing in the books right now but probably probably in the future yeah you do

some sketch comedy yeah some sketch some prov yeah and just look at the and look at my baby yeah well just look at the the and look at my baby yeah well just look at the title of this episode to know how to spell stacy mclachlan because those are

yeah both names have multiple possibilities yeah that's right yeah and hers is spelled with an eye with a heart on top of it so yeah but not where you think find that key on your keyboard there on your smartphone on your smartphone well thank you for being our guest this has been thanks for having me

of course thank you all you out there listening remember even though Halloween's over it doesn't mean that you can't be spooky to your friends

come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.