Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 771 - The Listeners

Episode Date: December 27, 2022

Dave and Graham cap off 2022 with a call-in show featuring the listeners and their questions, talents, and regrets.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 771 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who, oh boy, oh boy, he's as excited as I am to answer these calls. Yeah.

Callers on the line, this is Mr. Dave Shumka. Hi, Dave Shumka here, answering callers on the line. That sounds like a little bit something like my laundry service. We've got callers on the line and uh you know what we're just announcing this now fifth caller gets tickets to rancid performing this saturday rancid oh at the uh at the agricultural okay first caller i'm looking at well okay so it's the day after Christmas Or around there

And we are fat with turkey Oh boy We are fat with regret We said some things we can't take back Yeah we said some things we can't take back To relatives I've taken down the mistletoe So no more kissy for me for the rest of the year

Uh huh No kissy no miss for the rest of the year. Uh-huh. No kissy, no missy, no funny, no more money. Um, so, uh, every year we like to end off the year on the last few years. Anyway, since you, you, you old pandemic, we like to have a little bit of fun with our listeners. So yeah. Episode where the listeners can call in spend five minutes with us and decide whether they want to go on a date yeah it's it's five minutes in heaven everything's on the table um just we both have to close our eyes that's the only that's the only rule but the rest

is everything is good to go yeah um and so uh i i set out a call last week no a few weeks ago on the show asking people to you know uh write us if they want to be on the show we selected some names we did a little draw i uh think i did it right and sent people the right links to to uh in the show and if they if they don't come on we can assume it's their fault so there are I chose 16 names because I thought

we would do 15 I assumed one person would not show up right uh that has come to pass well

uh so far two people have cancelled in advance which is nice that is nice of them to do that

yeah it's uh and then like if you write us sell my ticket send my ticket all right you you go i can't use them like if you write us and say you can't be on the show you know you don't you can't make it you know i'm gonna write back and say please reconsider um so our first caller of the night no not coming not coming okay starting off with the with number two yeah well you've been promoted to number one although number three is from the uk and i feel like they should be in bed okay let's hit it number three style do you want to okay but i also wanted to say started with 16 looks like we have 14 now do

we want to bet on the final number oh sure okay i will say the final number is gonna be i'm gonna say it's gonna be 14 it's gonna stick at 14 okay i'm gonna say let's say 12 i'm gonna say we're gonna lose two more okay i'm gonna also say that that caller from the UK no longer in our waiting room. Son of a bitch. Well, I'm already out of the race. Okay. Well, boy, this caller isn't supposed to be here for eight more minutes. But what are we going to do?

Fill time with this inane chit chat? No. Let's talk to these people. What are we asking them uh for a question yeah a question a talent talent or a regret yes and you know what if you can combine all those things into one that's man oh man that's going to be a force to be reckoned with okay here we go caller are you there caller one sam f is there sam f hello is there a sam f i'm getting a reading i'm getting a yeah i'm getting hello there is sam a kitchen recorder here we go nice how you doing good how are you i am great i'm here to talk about beans i

think slow down sam okay all right sam dave here uh from stop podcasting yourself um my uh question is first of all where are you calling from oakland california oakland california home of mc hammer home of money ball uh to give us a tour of your kitchen yeah what do you yeah yeah this is the kitchen uh-huh there's a big plant oven you've got a proper uh microwave you've got a stove there is that a uh what's that? Is that a toaster oven as well? Yeah. Yeah.

A little toaster convection oven. I wouldn't call it a little. It's, that's taking up major real estate. Yeah. You could put, you could put at least two, maybe even three pizza pops in there.

If you have any pizza pops, I think they're just Canadian, but if you have any in the house, feel free to do that right now. Yeah, no, I've got taquitos, black bean taquitos.

Oh boy. Oh boy. You know what I'd say? You could probably Black bean taquitos. Oh, boy, oh, boy. You know what I'd say? You could probably fit 10 taquitos in there. Oh, at least. Yeah, it comes with a pizza stone, too. I can't recommend it highly enough. I love it. Holy shit.

What's that? Now you're covering it. What's that right at the edge of the screen? Is it like a little clock thing on the counter there next to your kettle? Next to the kettle. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah a little timer does it just it's a big timer again here you go big in oakland does it does it how it can take it can keep time on four things at the same time yes yes you can even record your voice on each one so that it tells you like pizza pop is done oh shit that's great can you program it all for can you

say four things and then program it one minute away from each other so that we can have them all by the time this phone call is done if you'd like yes yeah let's get going on that all right first thing first thing you're going to want to do okay is this the one that's going to end first are they all going to end at the same time i think they're one minute a piece so i was going to do okay is this the one that's going to end first or are they all going to end at the same time i think they're one minute a piece so i was going to do one minute two minute three minute four okay what should we label them oh you want me to record the audio yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean is that going to be too involved i never do it because what a strange okay let's we're wasting sam's time sam did that when he got into this that this was going to be time when we ask people to call in we don't ask them specifically what they're going to talk about but

a lot of people do send that in and sam uh had a good one okay sam let's get back to it bring your timer with you yeah it's here it's okay good okay well and i've got my box of beans in case you needed to see so it's a bean thing graham you wouldn't understand no i'm yeah i'm too old or too young um what tell you've got a box of beans yeah so i love beans dry beans and cooking them until they're you know wet and yum and then throwing them away yeah these are delicious that's it that's the fun part what do you cook them in uh water usually yeah usually is there another option you can you can play with some other things a broth yeah you can even if you're careful cook them in a tomato sauce delicious beans and tomato sauce if you're careful yum there we go first one oh do the timer

went off yeah you're not hearing it no i don't think you're holding it up noise cancellation yeah yeah nice okay yeah it's a noise canceling alarm pretty great um yeah yeah so and and uh like i forget i've got about 30 different types of beans right now whoa that's a lot how many types do you think we could even name i think you all could name four yeah you think we can only name four beans yeah yeah that's craziness okay i'll start black bean yeah yeah mexican jumping bean oh shit i'm running out already um a refried bean not sure that's a different bean it's okay well then a boston bean how do you like that yeah i don't think it's a different type of bean. Still not a type of bean. A census taker once tried to test

me and I ate his liver with the fava beans. And a nice Chianti. That's three. Chianti is also a type of bean. Ooh, coffee bean. Yeah, coffee bean. Yanty is a bean, a little down. Uh, ooh, uh, coffee bean. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. So you, you, you. Black eyed pea. Yeah, very good. Okay, but speaking of black eyed peas, let's get it started. Yes. In here.

We're having a fun time tonight. Um, so you, you're, you, you you have 30 beans where do you get these beans are you breeding beans no these are these are purchased almost entirely from a single company why so many and why so serious i'm very serious about beans i love uh i love beans they're very when i started to cook vegetarian several years ago, there's another minute gone. Oh, yeah. I heard that one. Nice.

There we go. I wanted to, like, I like cooking. It's a fun hobby. And when I started to do more vegetarian stuff, it's like, how do you make it creative and fun and different and not just have pasta? And so I got into beans slowly. And now I'm like obsessed and yeah i track them in a big spreadsheet yeah do you soak them overnight or do you do you use any other kind of method to soften them up maybe we got them yeah my foolproof method uh

i think soak them in six hours uh plus or minus an hour in one and a half percent salinity water so you do like a liter of water with 15 grams of salt okay uh and then um soak them about six hours then you're telling me that a thousand grams is a kilogram okay a liter of water is a kilogram huh yeah you should go metric you know it works no he does this in a giant bucket oh sure um what do you think graham and i are idiots for buying canned beans no canned beans have their place we're throwing money down the drain their place is in my mouth that's where all the canned beans i can handle garbo, that's another one. There you go. You're up to four now.

Pinto, of course. That's the other one. Oh, sure. Absolutely. Yeah, yeah. Navy. Navy beans. Navy, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Limas.

Limas. Oh, shit. Yeah, limas. Yeah, she put the myths in misdemeanor when she stole the beans from Lima. Tell me. Where in the world is come on i'm a little young for carmen san diego yeah you are sorry sorry sorry sorry i guess we're not into like hip what hip young people are talking about now take this back to the beans yes yes yeah any babies have a beanie babies those those are very specific type

of you know you have a database i want to learn about this database yeah yeah so i i in in my real job i do uh finance things and so the big problem was i kept buying beans i already had and so i was like i need to track my bean inventory so i don't over purchase beans so you know it evolved into this where it's now like a income statement and balance sheet for my beans now you yeah how's the ledger do you owe beans do you have a surplus of beans oh i've always got a surplus yeah okay now what is your what are the are like the columns are the the rows are'm guessing, different 30 different kinds of beans. The columns are like date purchased.

How many beans remain or? Well, so it's it's double. It's somewhat equivalent to double entry accounting. I guess not really. But but like there's there's a log where there's a date and what bean and what what how much was added in grams and in pounds. I do both. And then there's another sheet that sort of adds this up and tracks all of the different types. Holy shit.

Yeah, yeah. So what type of bean do you have the most of? Right now, garbanzo. Okay. I have a kilogram. Holy cow. Now, do you keep them in, do you have 30 different Rubbermaid tubs? No, I've got one tub and I sewed little bags that hold each one.

And then I've got little labels on the bags. Yeah. You said that you threw them all in one container. I nearly had a heart attack because I was like, why have you done all this work? Then I just take a scoop. Yeah yeah whatever i find that day is fine uh sam do you live alone yeah yeah okay okay that explains a lot i think yeah no way i mean it explains how you keep your kitchen so pristine look at that thing behind you yeah it is you wouldn't know just looking at it that you would have so many beans yeah yeah the beans do live in their own room so what you're using them to sleep yeah yeah

good night what's your what's your favorite of all the beans what's what's like your one that you hope in the rotation comes around sooner than the other ones you know uh they're all my children um uh hard to pick my favorite i i you know garbanzo is probably my favorite just it's such a classic bean and like it's also one that i think tastes bad from the can and tastes much much better and you can make hummus with it as yeah do you put do you make chili yeah i make chili yeah yeah uh we have a debate in my house whether garbanzo beans belong in a chili nope don't belong in a chili yeah i agree i'm on your i'm on team sam here's a question have you ever made a dessert with a bean because i feel like there's like red bean

cakes or something like that desserts yeah yes they have they lean on the bean you gotta lean on the bean i did last november go to the official like bean club dinner uh wait a minute yeah in napa california that of the company that i buy that i'm a member of their bean club and, um, this is great. And they had churros filled with, uh, beans. I forget. I forget what kind of filled with,

uh, what's the word? Uh, bean, bean, yes, bean. Yeah.

Um, so yeah, I've had bean desserts and then red bean. I've had some red bean, you know, things, whatever they are. Yeah.

Well, Sam, it's been a great year. Uh, it's been a great call and we're very glad that... Oh yeah, you wanted to... There's one more part of your talent. So, I want to send you guys a bean that's your favorite. I think I've already got mine picked out for Graham because he said tomato sauce and beans. So there's these Royal Corona

beans that are giant. I mean, they're like as big as a silver dollar. you're speaking my language now yes giant beans you cook them in a i'll send you a recipe with them you cook them in a tomato sauce they're perfect that sounds like a lovely evening and then and then i don't know dave i'd like what what's your bean what's your favorite bean who do you know what's your favorite bean reminds me what do you like what do you like out of beans i'm uh i'm a pinto guy generally is there like a you know something that for a pinto guy is there like a um do you like do you like refried beans or like a mashed bean in a in a mexican preparation yes so but i'm never gonna mash my own beans i'm that's that's a

can the whole way that's a can okay whole way. That's a can. Okay. Um, what am I? Cause I'm what to refry beans. What am I going to have to fry them once, then forget about it and fry them again. Yeah, that's right. My act.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, um, you know, there, okay.

I think I've got it. That Moro beans, they make a great pot beans. They're very, they're sort of dark and they, the broth is really good so if you just cook them on their own or very simply uh they're they're sort of like a pinto mixed with a black bean they've got a little bit of like a chocolatiness to them yeah all right

more old beans you'll love them thanks sam uh we gotta go we got more people coming up yeah see you later happy new Year Soak the beans How do I kick people out of here I always forget Alright coming at ya Here we go Oh we've got Maria She's connecting to audio

Maria Maria She's from the UK Hello Maria Still connecting to audio We've got no audio no sound No sound Hello, Maria. Still connecting to audio. Still connecting to audio. We've got no audio, no sound. And no sound. It looks like she's saying, can you hear me?

And we cannot. She's pointing and talking as if we've given her any indication we can hear her. Okay. as if we've given her any indication we can hear her okay so just for the listener we just spent five minutes with the caller who couldn't figure out their audio don't be like her yeah exactly uh so but that count does not count towards our uh callers who didn't show up list list okay next caller wait who is it hey oh hey oh listen what i say there's a caller oh yeah it's so nice to hear a voice hi kylie hi dave hi graham hi How are you? I'm good. How are you guys? Oh, swell. Swell. Just a swell. Now, Kylie, we've spoken to you before.

Yes. You're famously the person who both was knitting during our live show, and we found that very disrespectful in Winnipeg. And the person who in Winnipeg uh gave me this the the framed phone number our phone number so i have something to look at whenever i'm trying to come up with our phone number we had a running gag for a while where i couldn't remember the phone number and i would and i put a stop to that yeah that sucks dad you called me dad it was weird everybody calls you dad dave it's just the dad of the podcast um we just spent a few minutes with a caller who did not have audio she was calling all the way from england so yeah so it's like one in the morning it looked like her husband was helping her it was yeah they had she had a christmas tree up it was

it's heartbreaking it was and then she uh and gra Graham wrote a note on the paper. Hey, can we get back to you later? And she was like, yes. And then we were like, wait a minute. What does that mean? Did she get back to us when she figures her life out? Anyway, you missed it. It was great. It's not going in the show. It was too sad. Kylie, thank you for calling. You're in Winnipeg. I am. In Winnipeg, we are about to enter a blizzard zone.

A blizzard is on its way. Sounds delicious. What's your favorite kind of blizzard? Yeah. We don't do it upside down. You don't? Oh, okay. Oh, yeah.

Why? Because it blows everywhere because it's so cold and windy? Or why don't you turn it upside down you don't oh no oh yeah because it why because it blows everywhere because it's so cold and windy or why don't you turn it upside down well we don't get it for free i don't know i don't know oh yeah what uh what temperature are we dealing with over there in winnipeg actually today it was one degree what the hell i know that's unprecedented how many antiperspirants I buy every month. Every month? Why are you using so much deodorant? Kylie, a few years ago, you called in. You were in our first call-in show.

Were you our last guest on the first show? I was the last guest on the first call-in show. So we went extra long with you. Yeah. Now you're going to cut me off. No, we're going to spend the whole time talking about the caller who couldn't get the audio. Kylie, you have an update for us. Is that right?

That is correct. You have an update. Okay. I have a squirrel update. Yeah. So, Graham, do you remember what was going on two years ago? With a squirrel? Yeah. Was there one living With a squirrel? Yeah.

Was there one living in your house? Close. Pretty close, yeah. Could be. No, it was in my car. I had a car that got stuffed with nuts. I like that. Goofy.

I like Goofy. Yeah, it was stuffed with nuts. Aw nuts to that and then um yeah yeah yeah yeah we got rid of uh of that car uh actually just with the nuts in it where you're like just these are free you can this is going in a snowdrift it's very christmassy no we uh yes we gave back the lease car and you know what they had no idea because we had taken the nuts out you see no that's my idea now this isn't this what this podcast is not a legal document you can't be charged with anything no no but i also have a wire going in your house and that i can, yeah, whatever I want. Graham, you're allergic to nuts.

Do you think driving in a nut car would kill you? Yeah. If the nuts had just been removed, like just right that moment. And I got in probably. Did it smell nutty in there? No, no.

See, did you get in a, did you get in any kind of fender bender and some of the nuts got together and made peanut butter or any other kind of nut butter? You know what? That would have been a great idea. It would have been a great idea. I wish I would have left them in the car.

Then we could have really got. You're telling me this person didn't know that there were nuts in there. No. And much more. They didn't know that a squirrel was in there. No, no, no, no. OK. No.

Well, see, we disguised it all. you see, because we took the nuts out. Okay. And we put them in the bush. Was there still a squirrel in there when you returned it? We don't know. Just this huge fat squirrel. We had it in the game and ran. Driving.

Yeah, I was driving the car. Very good. Cute. Yeah. And, you know uh we haven't had the squirrel since we we put in this spray that kind of is a little bit like pepper spray like it kind of it has this aromatic of a pepper you put it in where like in like all around the motor of the car you spray the motor and stuff with it and then you spray a little on your eggs in the morning you sprayed a little bit on my eggs in the morning uh yeah yeah a little

bit of my stew uh have you tried um you can buy like wolf urine tell me about it yes yes shots for everyone i say at the bar you can buy a coyote urine um we contemplated we have a dog that's very wolf-like maybe just getting her just to pee on the car but i feel like the dog would have peed on or if we put urine kind of around the motor of the car in the summertime that might get unpleasant for us and we want to stay in the car we just want the squirrels to be away from the car sure uh you why do you lease what do you like about leasing so we don't lease anymore so they hate it very stressful i had to constantly figure out how many miles i was or kilometers i was doing oh sure yeah yeah yeah we use miles we want to pay okay yeah no it's a little long clave yeah um what uh any uh any other news

any regrets any talents or any questions i have a i have a regret it's plagued me for two years almost today oh shit the last time that i was on this podcast i had asked graham a question and it stumped him he had no idea what to answer um and i think it was along the lines again well it was along the lines of what's something that we don't know about you that you want us to know oh yeah and you couldn't and immediately as soon as i hung up the phone i thought that was a bumper stumper nice i'm a bumper and it was a stumper oh that's a comedian but but yeah it's like when you you come up with the perfect line but like a minute after the person is what i should have said i bought one degree a month so that that was my regret but i do i do two very quick questions for you

all right listeners need to know what's something that you that is your darkest fear that you've never told anyone. What is your deepest, darkest secret? No. Along the same lines, what is your favorite cookie? Oh,

like, yeah, we're talking type of cookie or brand of cookie or any cookie. She could have a cookie right now. What would it be? Gingerbread man.

Homemade chocolate chip. homemade chocolate chip classic chocolate chip yeah are you more of a flat uh chocolate chip guy or or like a mounded giant chocolate chip cookie guy uh i just like you know regular chocolate chip size chocolate chip you know not not like uh some giant thing that's sitting on top of a cookie yeah fair enough fair enough um do you need yours to be decorated to enjoy yes i need it to be decorated not a i didn't say a ginger snap i need the frosting on there and maybe some buttons made of uh i don't know gummy bears or yeah um do you bite the head off first um i don't think of it as a head i think of it as a part of a cookie i don't i don't have a plan we've we built uh we were hey spoiler alert i guess we told everyone we're recording this on the 13th um it's still christmas season where we're from

and we just built our uh gingerbread house yesterday and it's like half gone now i'm i'm going roof first i'm going ham on the roof um and okay so we got the cookie sorted out next question sharks um what types of sharks do you both enjoy do you like sharks if you don't like sharks what's your favorite shark? I don't know. I don't know what your thoughts are about sharks. I think that a hammerhead is marvelous. I think that they're like fascinating creatures.

They don't, they don't look like any other fish and they don't look like any other shark. And every time I see one, I think I get a little kind of like a manta ray. Like I kind of get a little smile every time I see them. A hot take here, shark-wise. Uh-oh. There was a time when everyone was like, anti-shark. Yeah.

And then people were like, actually, they pose us no threat. They're quite beautiful. And I think we swung too far that way. Here's my favorite shark. Whatever. They're fine. I don't know. here's my favorite shark whatever they're fine my kids have a big book of sharks and uh there's too many kinds of them there's they're all different sizes uh uh you know just i just want the one i just want a great white great this one great white yeah i. Hammerhead all the way.

Do we, do you have a favorite? Me? Oh. Yeah. Oh, I wasn't even thinking about mine. I was a real bumper stumper. Okay. Thanks, Kyle. Have a good night.

Bye. Bye. Do you have a favorite cookie? Yeah. I like a good ginger cookie. Yeah. Frosting? No. Okay. No. Too sweet. Too sweet. They're good ginger cookie. Yeah. Frosting? No.

Okay. No. Too sweet. Too sweet. They're already sweet enough. Okay. Well, thank you. Thank you.

For everything, Kyle. Keep moving. Bye. Okay, bye. And do I click her out or what? Okay, we have a different Maria. Is this going to be? Maybe.

Let's see. Oh, my goodness. see oh my goodness oh my goodness i can hear i can hear i can hear i can hear but i can hear plenty of us hello hi maria how are you oh my god i feel like know you already. You are so many walks with me and my dog. Honest to God. So good to see you. Now, Maria,

you're our caller that we could not talk to. Um, there's a weird hum behind you. Is that your dogs? They're making 2am milkshakes. Oh, okay. Now,

uh, Maria, what time you're in england yeah where about in the middle of england right in the middle of england it's called bearwood bearwood scary bearwood near birmingham you've heard of birmingham it's birmingham birmingham go uh b. Yeah, go the Birmingham Mingers. Is Minger... I was wondering, Minger... I don't think we should be saying Minger. No, Minger's fine. Minger's fine. It just means that something is stinking.

Oh, yeah. If it's yogurt and it's out of date, then it's Mingy. Now, you're going on about this yogurt um you having late night yogurts what time is it over there you call it a pot of yogurt instead of a clock it is quarter to three in the morning thank you for staying up late and thank you for enduring uh the our technical troubles are you sure it's yours i thought it was mine no it's definitely yours uh now when you're eating yogurt uh because we would just call it a yogurt container i guess you call it a pot of yogurt that's a bucket i'm eating a bucket of yogurt a bucket of yogurt nice what are we talking about there's something i'm going to tell you that happened this morning

which is right up your alley. There we go. It's not rude, okay? But it is disgusting. Okay. I've got some eardrops for my dog. I know that there's Irma and Monster with Dave. I know you don't because of your allergies, but I've got a dog.

Love him to bits. Got to put some eardrops in him. Don't really like doing it because he always gives me the eyes. Don't put the eardrops in. So I thought, well, I'll be really nice and I'll put the eard drops in him don't really like doing it because he always gives me the eyes don't put the ear drops in so i thought well i'll be really nice and i'll put the ear drops in him in he's up in my bed so god says that the air drops squirt them into his ear really quickly and my husband looks and says wrong here and it's like he's left here so i have to do the other ear get them in then i have to squish it to make it so the medicine's gone in, and it makes this sort of noise.

And then he shakes his head, and some of the ear medicine and earwax flies up into the air and into my mouth. Oh, poor Jack. And then my husband is just in pieces laughing while I'm running up to the bathroom to scrub my teeth with warm water, get the earwax out of my mouth. I thought you'd like that. Yeah, I did.

That rules. If that happened to either of us, we'd base a whole episode around it. Yeah, exactly. Is there anything else that you want to know about England? And I'll do my best to answer it. Are we still worried about that villainous Voldemort?

Who? Never mind. Voldemort? Don't say his name. Isn't that Harry Potter? Yes. Oh, because Harry Potter's English, isn't he? Yeah, he is, isn't he?

Maybe, yeah. Yeah, but he went to Hollywood. That's true. That's where the whole movie happens. He goes to Hollywood. He doesn't go to us now anymore. It's called Harry Potter Goes to Hollywood. Now, Maria,

I'm just checking my database here. It says this is probably predictable. We asked people, do they have questions? Do they have talents? Or do they have regrets? Do they have talents? Or do they have regrets?

You have a regret. And Graham, you won't be surprised to hear what it is. No, I look and I see and I cannot wait to hear you say it. Take the floor, Maria. My regret about the if it's not the yogurt,

then it's got to be the maiden name. What? What's your the Yagas, then it's got to be the maiden name. What? What's your maiden name? Oh, I really regret losing my maiden name because it was interesting. What was it? Kinsella. Kinsella, yeah. It sounds like it.

It's an Irish name. Oh, yeah, like in Field of Dreams. I go to Italy every year, and when my name made the name was kinsella but it was confused because you're talking about the italian alphabet and they don't have k's all right in the italian alphabet yeah and uh but it was and it sounds italian because it's ends e double l a kinsella kinsella but it's not it's uh it's a nice one you should have why do you why didn't you fight for it? It sounds like a really cool last name. Because I'm old-fashioned and because I had a kid by accident.

Are they finding this out now? We didn't want kids. I was 38, and it was like, okay, guess what? You're pregnant. And then I didn't like her having a different name to me. So I thought, okay, we better cut Tyler Nott then. Now, Maria. Oh, shotgun.

That is not the regret. I think we heard a secret second regret there as well. That was not the regret I was talking about. It's the yogurt. Tell us about the yogurt. Oh, I just ate so much yogurt how much i thought i would say because i'm not the hugest person in the world but i thought i would um ah it's can you see the bucket no no we can't see you at all you can't see me

oh you know what take a picture send it to our email address it is a kilo bucket that I've got in my hand it's nearly the size of my head I thought I would save money by buying it in a kilo and then I'll only eat a little bit of it but then the spoon just keeps going in how many kilos a week

oh on a bad week i can eat four kilos four that's four seems like a lot of kilos and i have to leave you know room for other food but yeah i can eat a lot of yogurt it's so nice color me impressed yeah well maria it it's our, I'm afraid our time is running out. Thank you so much for calling. Thank you. Thank you for giving me a chance. Get my text sorted. You guys, we love you.

There's lots of us in the UK. Love you. Thanks. We love you too. And watch out for that devilish Baltimore. Goodbye. Bye. Now, where are we on this schedule here? Oh no, we're behind. Bye Bye Now where are we on this schedule here

Oh no we're behind Oh no I oh gosh Now I have to report her for something I deleted her from here Okay we got three callers waiting Who's next Okay Let's try it we'll get back on time

Now I put a little buffer in. I put a little 10 minute buffer in and we're over that. We're over the buffer. Okay. Hello caller, are you there? Hello Dave Graham and other bumper guests. No, just you.

It's just you. No guests on this end. Jeremy, hello. You're a long time fan. I recognize the name. I recognize the glasses. Yeah. Where are you calling from? New York. Ah, yeah.

Brooklyn. So you're out there. You're wearing the hippest clothes. You're, you know, you're starting a cold brew factory. Yeah. Lena Dunham's around just kind of screwing stuff up. Just shirtless left and right. you're starting a cold brew factory. Yeah. You're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're,

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you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're,

you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're,

you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're,

you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're,

you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're,

you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, regret i've got a question okay here we go hit us in episode 274 you said it's actually 420 i looked it up i think the last time either of you was playing any sort of video game uh graham was talking about the played one about the diet love pass incident some oh really yeah the Dyatlov Pass incident. Oh, really? Yeah. Was there a video game of that? Apparently.

Does that ring a bell for you, Graham? No. What kind of? The Dyatlov Pass, the weird Russian or Soviet, like a group of like hikers. Oh, that vanished. Yeah. Yeah.

Was there a video game you played based on that? Yeah, I might have. It's like a computer game. That does seem vanished. Yeah. Was there a video game you played based on that? Yeah, I might have. It's like a computer game. That does seem familiar. Yeah, I just didn't recognize the name. Yes. So my question is, in the intervening years and with COVID, have either of you been tempted to pick up any sort of game?

And if not, what sort of fantastical console or game would have to be created to get you to start this is good this is excellent excellent question um first and foremost i would need um a playing system that has a device strapped to my crotch kind of like a like a like kind of like a cup yeah you put it on and so that you feel like every twist and turn. Yeah. So it's like a thrusting. Yeah. Yeah.

Thrust. Yeah. You had this idea for a game called Thrustmaster. Yeah. Thrustmaster on my Cod 52. 52. Oh, um,

the, uh, the, I play a video game. I play, I buy every year. I buy a video game I buy every year I buy the hockey game Although the last I haven't bought this year's

Because I feel like the last couple years I played the video game once Yeah You've got a busy lifestyle But my kids now are At the age where they can play a Nintendo Switch. Right. Do you have a Nintendo Switch, Jeremy?

I do. Do you have all the systems? Uh, PlayStation and Nintendo. Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis. When I was dead broke, man, I couldn't picture this. Not virtual.

Virtual Boy, TurboGrafx-16. When I was dead broke, man, I couldn't picture this. Not virtual. Virtual boy. TurboGrafx-16. When I was dead broke, these are things I've never seen. There's a... So we have a Nintendo Switch. We're a Mario Kart family. Mario Kart in America. And we...

I'm looking... Maybe looking for a new game for the kids. What would they like? Yeah, what's special? What's going on? Something about some Russians. Imagine you're six years old. I would say my girlfriend has been obsessed with a game called Golf Story.

Is your girlfriend six years old? No, but we're both about equally the same height. Okay, so it's called Golf Story? It's a golf story. It's the legend of Bagger Vance.

A little bit. It's, if you mention a golf RPG, that is very fun. Graham, RPG stands for Red. Red uh pyrus green oh i thought the last g was for gif is that uh red papayas gif right am i wrong rpg let's see what else is going on um we also like the just dance series where you dance to the katie that's fun yeah it makes me too sweaty is that going to be uh unfortunately integrated into graham's there's a big crotch component yeah i uh it's it's it's a special edition and it's a lot of fun

and uh same with the golf one. You get in the nards a bunch in that game. That'll be a core element of any game. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that's what I signed up for. It's not an RPG, but you do get blasted by an IED in the ICK. Okay.

Well, Jeremy, five minutes isn't nearly enough with anyone. I feel so bad cutting everyone off. That's all right. But it's got to be done. Yeah, it's the biz, you know? We're giving you the biz. Thank you. Away you go.

Away you go. Isn't it off I go? Next caller. Well, when we're telling him, away he goes. All right. Okay, come on. telling him, away he goes. Alright. Okay, come on. We've got Bruin.

It's Heidi. Heidi. Heidi. Hi, guys. Hi, Heidi. Hi, Heidi. How are you? You look beautiful. Well, I don't think your screen's working then. That's not... Well, Dave looks beautiful.

I can't hear you. you okay this is one of those when i send out the email to people i should really say hey figure it out you should say figure it out genius i like it like that can you hear us i can hear you now but i'm not plugged in that's's fine. What's not plugged in? Is that going to screw up your audio quality, Dave? Look, no one's listening anymore. Oh, you're even more charming in person. No, no, I mean from the previous callers.

Heidi, it's fine, it's fine. Thank you for waiting is there a is that a baby grand piano or a grand grand piano behind me it's a baby grand I teach piano I'm a teacher and I write and I live in Boise Boise Idaho

being a teacher most important job in the world it's true everybody should teach something to someone and you're doing it. You're doing your fair share. Thank you. Yeah. I teach people how to make weight for a boxing match.

Like go up or down. Whatever they want. Up. Well, I think you guys have taught me how to be sillier. Oh, yeah. Yeah. We do enjoy silliness yeah yeah i've been a big fan um heidi your your your home looks so christmas it does it looks so christmassy and so cozy oh it looks so good oh thank you are you uh do you own cats

shelf are you uh do you own cats no i'm allergic to cats i'm like graham i'm allergic to cats i gave up meat because of fast food nation oh yeah long beard we are seeing that that's true i was gonna say i feel like cats would destroy what you got going on with your decorations yes yes we have birds we have parrots but they they're not super destructive are they chatty they are so chatty what do they say yeah what can they say they say about me they say uh they talk about us they say um want heidi and they say um bye bye paul they say bye bye paul for when he goes to bed they say oh my god they say everything they say do you see that you see those birds we say that when they're when we look at the window and they say also they say is that so crazy they just copy because they're really easily

scared and so you want to try to like let them know oh it's okay and so you know and naturally they'll like sort of stiffen up or get nervous you'll be like oh is that so crazy but so you're acknowledging the feeling but you're also not sounding like you're freaked out yeah yeah very comforting too if we get upset they go it's okay oh hi they're so comforting do you have i'm sorry to rush you i feel like we we're uh oh yes sure i have my questions no i just i we're we're way like we're... Oh, yes, sure. I have my questions. No, I just... We're way behind. We're way behind.

Everyone's mad at us. Yeah. Oh, I was happy with you because it gave me this chance to breathe and drink my white wine and... Ooh, what grape? Yeah. And did your parents say...

Did your parents say, time to podcast? Something like that. Got it. Time for podcast. So, yes, I have two questions. One is serious and one is silly. My serious question is, there's this problem my husband and I haven't been able to resolve.

Oh, okay. Have you tried maybe role playing or just like putting on a costume? A special red light bulb, something like that. I'm trying to think that role playing would help I don't think it would here's the question it's directly related to things you guys discuss in the podcast

if farts are dirts is your butthole your dirts hole or is it your dirt hole and also what do you call a colonic okay this is a serious question This is a serious question? This is a serious question. So my family,

this is directly related to something we talk about at the podcast. Maybe we talked about it three times 10 years ago. But I remember it. It's got staying power. So DIRTS, as far as I'm, in my family, we used to call farts dirty noises, which was shortened to dirt,

uh, who did a dirt. So who dirt is, can be used in a number of ways. Um, so what was your question again? So, uh,

do you like your dirt hole? No. Cause you don't call your butthole, your fart hole, your butthole, still your butthole. And it's, it's truly what makes you special.

And what would you call a colonic um i guess um or colonic we had some we had some theories okay thank you yeah okay de-dirtification dirt tube irrigation some controversial ones dirt douche my husband swears by dirt squirts i like dirt squirts for sure because it wasn't de-jertification because it doesn't get rid of farts does it i don't know how what the outcome of a colon well it doesn't pump more into your body well maybe would you mind like listening to my business pits sharks i'm here with like if you like if you get a colonoscopy they give you that medicine to make you poop and fart a bunch right doesn't it temporary does a colonic work that same way

charlie damaris would know right he's had one 10 years ago yeah he would but i think i'm gonna get one done. A colonic or a colonoscopy? No, a colonic. People say that you feel really good after having one. I want to feel good. I think I'm going to get one because I can't find that marble I put. I thought I lost. I was having a dream in my sleep where I was eating a bean.

Now, question number two. Give us the silly question so i'm getting ready to launch a semi-serious but also somewhat silly podcast about psychology and i don't know what to call it what should i name it what is what's your angle on it what's your brain drain the dirt squirt well my angle is psychology for everyone that that it shouldn't belong just to the experts but i also like to put some silliness in there but i also i also don't know how do you give free reign to your silliness without trying to be funny oh boy you gotta include psychology somewhere in there so it has to be like frightology that's not one are you an expert in this is this your field beyond piano

or are you yeah well yes yes i would i would say so but my feeling is that psychology should belong to everyone not just the people with certificates in it not in the sense of anybody should be a therapist but anybody would would gain from understanding themselves better and relationships better I'm sure there's a podcast called Psyched but that's my number one Psyched one two

three you're our fifth caller you win tickets to Rancid that's right you get tickets to Rancid playing at the Tacoma Dome in lovely Washington State. So, well, thanks for calling. We're way behind.

We're in a bind and we're looking to make a deal. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You're in a bind. Is that related to your DIRT's issues? It's related to the block on the wall, Heidi. Thank you so much for calling. Bye, guys. Thanks for your help. Bye.

Bye-bye. That was worth all this. I did not help at all. Who's next? We got John. John, where are you calling from? Okay, I'll bring him into the room. John. We're 10 minutes behind.

We're 10 minutes behind. Okay. minutes behind John's going to make it up there's John hey John starting my 5 minute timer right now oh thank you we're 10 minutes behind not bad I guess it's not bad

it's not bad but we feel like we can catch up with guests like you we're gonna make it happen all right i have a list of correct predictions that first of all john oh i'm sorry john k uh hi uh where are you calling from yeah where the heck are you i'm in rochester new york that's upstate they call that, western. What's in Rochester? Is that the Kodak factory still there? Yeah. Kodak, I mean, they're not doing much. I mean, stink. Worcestershire sauce comes from there.

Do you guys have a PGA tournament? I have no idea how to answer either of your questions. Okay. I do not have that information. So now in my notes, you're one of the people who, when you, uh,

submitted to be part of the show, um, you said you have at least six accurate predictions that Graham, not me. Fuck Dave. You said that Graham has unknow, fuck Dave, you said. Graham has unknowingly made over the course of the show's history. Okay.

Now, we know there have been, because sometimes people remind us of a couple of these. So, there was one time, I believe it was in 2015, and we were pre-taping a bunch of episodes, and Graham said Donald would would never run but it would be hilarious don't worry about that and it was and we all had there was something we there was one prediction people remind us of uh based around the movie avatar an avatar sequel no not on the list okay fresh list okay here we go so john k from rochester new york home of the kodak factory let this poor man he's got a whole list of these actually honestly i have like nine i'm gonna give you three well you have give us as many as your time slot um I did cut it down in the interest of time.

No, no, no. Come on. Don't you ask about that Kodo factory again. I'm going to skip over... Do they do anything other than film? Because people don't really use film anymore. Okay, let's hear some of these predictions well there was a netflix show about car racing they filmed that in the kodak factory grounds i forget what it was called but

there was nothing going on in the factory they raced cars so i'm gonna skip over two um just just give us some and yeah get through as many as you can yeah and don't worry dave's not going to interrupt you to talk about the kodak factory anymore i don't want to mention any of the celebrity deaths though that graham got right oh yeah i'll just pass over the time that graham in 2018 predicted a pandemic just going right over those um now uh number three on my list top three okay Graham predicted Disney Plus I did in episode 15 or sorry 515 with Chris James released January 2018 Graham says discussing Netflix quote yeah but it's like now they're in the they just got to keep the name in the, you know, before whoever comes up with a second Netflix. That does sound like me.

Probably Disney. You know. That does sound like me. It's half a thought. But they just got to like Netflix the Netflix, bro. Yeah, got to Netflix the Netflix. Get it? And Disney Plus was launched nearly two years later in November 2019.

Did you, were we talking directly about Disney at that time? Or like, cause that could refer to any streamer, couldn't it? So no, you're just talking about Netflix. And Graham says, whoever comes up with a second Netflix, probably Disney. Okay. Okay. All right. This guy's like the Nostradamus of our time.

Yeah. What else? What other? More like Nostradamus of our time. Yeah. What else? What other? Why more like Nostradingus? Quiet down, dirt squirt. Number two, Graham predicted Fuller House. Yes. In episode 157 with Amanda Brooke Perrin, released march 2011 graham says discussing the original full

house why don't they just have put that show back on only now everybody's grown up the sentence fragment yeah like the thoughts that get interrupted like the verbs that change in the middle and it's just full house but everybody's just grown up and they live in maybe a bigger house to make it more realistic yeah but they didn't they lived in the same small house and yeah that tiny little house that they live in well there was how many of them in the show like it's full it's certainly full but i would not call it a small hub it's only getting fuller yeah and of course fuller house was released nearly five years later february 2016 boy this guy's a real nostradamus more like nostradingus

their dirt squirt i have an honorable mention here. Okay. Graham predicted cat poop flavored dog treats. I did? That's brilliant, actually. Well, because my old dog, Grandpa, he loved, he would always find them. Hey, guess what my new dog, Irma, just found in our front yard. A hot dog. Oh, nice. A hot dog?

Yeah. Awesome. our front yard a hot dog oh nice a hot dog yeah awesome oh that's just that's just plain lucky yeah okay what's your number one sock it to us uh i just want to give you credit alton brown published a recipe for cat poop flavored dog treats uh about five years after you came up with the ideogram huh what does he use to flavor them there's like fish sauce in it um i don't remember there's some deer pee in it they use deer yeah yeah he has a youtube video on it but yeah he might pee in it i I'm not sure. Yeah. Alton Brown. He pees in every batch. I have a bunch of Alton Brown, Alton Brown urination videos, but I'm not sure he cooks in any of them. All right.

Number one. Okay. Episode five, seven, one with Paul F. Tompkins released February, 2019. Dave says, I just don't remember how Yoda died.

Old age? And Graham replies, Yeah, he just died. He just was old. And you know, God willing, we get a young Yoda movie. Wow. Graham predicted Baby Yoda.

Baby Yoda. And it premiered seven months later. Wow. You're like you are you you own Disney stock. Are you young Bob Iger? I think it's just really just showing how much it's on Graham's mind. Yeah.

Wow. Graham Graham one of your favorite memes is smooth Yoda smooth Yoda. Everybody or everybody the mods are away we can make we can show smooth wow john thank you for your research oh that's amazing that was amazing having me uh thank you so much and uh enjoy the rest of the holiday season yes and off you go bye bye and we'll just wait for him to let himself out and all right

there we go and am i uh correct in assuming our next caller is named lucy hi lucy hello lucy oh my god thank you guys thank you for waiting it's you lucy of course it's you Lucy hello wow this is surreal how are you guys how's it going it's surreal for us too yeah and you know what I really like your bangs there you go right out of the gate thank you yeah that's often a conversation topic for people I'm meeting

oh no no no no I don't mind it's just interesting I've had this haircut for most of my life so I don't think about it ever. Right. That's all I can think about now. Yeah, yeah. I don't blame you. Lucy, where are you calling us from?

Ridgewood, Queens. New York City. New York City. Queens is where? Is that on north of Manhattan? It's like east and north. you have to use the queensborough bridge to get in yeah if king of queens is anything the theme song to king of queens um i'm gonna take your word for that you don't know king of queens

um i mean i should know this better because i grew up in Manhattan and I've like lived here all my life, but I don't know. I don't know. I just got on the train and I trust that. Okay. That's nice. What train are we getting on there? The M train. The M train.

Okay. Yeah. Do you guys like New York? Yeah, we love it. Yeah. I have this shirt that indicates that I love it. Yep, yep, yep. All right.

Yeah. The last trip I took before the pandemic was New York, and then we didn't take trips for so long. And we were, Abby and I would often reminisce about those five days in New York. Yeah, it's fun. I think people always assume that it's really exhausting to live here. But the thing is, is when you live here, you're not constantly going to museums and Broadway plays and stuff.

You're just going to your job. I work from home, so I'm just here. And it's very chill. And my neighborhood is very quiet, too. But, yeah, cool. I'm glad you guys like it. It's always very polarizing, I think. Oh, who doesn't like it? I don't know. Small town hicks.

I could never live here. Yeah, I get that a lot. Or people are like, oh, you're from New York? What a rare breed. And I'm like, I'm pretty sure there are more kids in my hometown than your hometown in Tom's River, New Jersey or whatever.

There are millions of us, but okay. Also, I feel like, and tell me if i'm wrong a lot of people from new york go home to their families in a small town fall in love and then don't move back is that correct especially this time of year yeah yes it's true it's true all my friends are going a mass mass exodus of career women. Now, Lucy, first of all, thank you for everything. Yeah. We asked people, do they have a question, a talent, or a regret?

Okay, I have a question for you guys. When I am acknowledging someone or in agreement with someone, I go, okay, I've noticed this about you guys because of your podcast. When I have an agreement or acknowledging someone, I go, you guys go. Oh,

my question. What's up with that? What's going on there? Okay. So I don't understand so you say and we say so we go up on the emphasis on the yeah on the latter half now when you this is the thing about america okay okay okay okay oh this is boy oh boy here he's gonna do a childish gambino here this is america go for it i noticed notice that sometimes in America, instead of saying, you're welcome, people will say, uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh. Hmm. I don't do that. Yeah. Oh. I'm polite.

The waitress, all right, well, here's your hash browns. Thank you. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. That bothers me when people don't acknowledge you or just say nothing. I don't know. That's not me.

I'm extremely polite to like everyone all the time. Yeah, you've been very polite so far. Yeah. No, we're not in a fight. Dave. We're not. How am I the bad guy? did i do what did i do um uh my brother was pointing out that it's a very canadian thing to say a

um that you like hey how about this weather a yeah yeah in vancouver people say hey hey yeah cool hey yeah i noticed that graham will say a but you don't really say that dave well i don't say either yeah right but it's a is really an eastern canada thing eastern you know alberta it's also something that you kind of exclusively use when discussing the weather like yeah this is going to be bad stuff like that that's something that canada and switzerland have in common people obsessing over the weather yeah this is going to be bad stuff like that that's something that canada and switzerland have in common people obsessing over the weather i find we that's all we ever talk about yeah even though it's the same like clockwork every year yeah we how many no we've only had we've only asked one canadian caller about the weather so far and if you were there we would ask it was one degree um in whittipag manitoba well

you know what i don't really have an answer for that but i will keep an ear out for it i appreciate it i'm so you know honestly it took me a excuse me it took me a second to get used to you guys saying that putting the emphasis there it felt like a lot of cognitive dissonance for a while i honestly don't that's what gets me no we don't you do i'm gonna make like a youtube mashup of you guys okay is it like that me am i doing it now i mean-hmm. I mean, I'm, you know, I'm doing like a caricature of it, but yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. And what's normal again? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Now I'm like overthinking it. The emphasis is on the hmm, right? Mm-hmm.

Regardless, the emphasis is always on the hmm. No one's saying, mm-hmm. I put the emphasis on, I go, mm-hmm. Yeah, I suppose I do put, yeah, I put the emphasis on the no one's saying I go yeah I suppose I do put the emphasis on the first but we're just we're crazy emphasizing it you're crazy emphasizing it I just think you guys are so affable and

jovial all the time in Canada we are all a great time forever yeah and we had a great time at the World Cup and I'm sure we'll we'll take the whole thing next time yeah you just got eliminated no we had a great time at the World Cup and I'm sure we'll take the whole thing next time. Oh, did you just get eliminated?

No, we got eliminated very long ago. I was paying attention for a second. But you guys were doing pretty good for a while, yeah? Yeah, I mean... You were doing pretty good for a while, eh? Yes! That's what you did was Australian.

You were pretty good, yeah yeah what can i say okay lucy thank you for calling yeah thank you oh my god this was so fun i love you guys you're so funny we love you love you too bye who's next who's next who's next on the docket? We got Sam. Oh, you'll remember Sam. Sam's called before. I think Sam was last year? Well, we'll find out. Sam's connecting to audio. Sam Brooks. Love to hear it. Hey, Sam. Double peace signs.

Hello, hello. How are you guys? Sam, you are calling us from New Zealand. yes i am are you having a brewski are you drinking a brew dog yes uh yes i'm yes i'm having an xpa that i think stands for extra pale uh-huh um where where uh what time is it there where when What time is it there? It is 4.21pm. Ah, we just missed the magic moment. Just missed 4.20. So you are... Call back tomorrow.

Yeah, call us back in 23 hours and 59 minutes. Wow, they're so far ahead. It's almost exactly 24 hours that's so it's even i think it's 21 hours even yeah wow i agree i'm that's crazy frankly i think you're three hours behind i think yeah i think you're three hours behind and it's but it's accidentally tomorrow yeah yes now what's going on tomorrow, what do you got going on? So, yeah, it's like I booked one ticket to go and see the movie known as Avatar 2

Wales for Water at 10.30 in the morning. Really? Avatar? The new Avatar? Oh, I thought you said Tar like the Cate Blanchard movie. That's a great double feature, Avatar and tar. I wish.

So is this 10.30 tomorrow or a week from now or tomorrow? Yes. Have you seen tar? No. No. I mean, it's not out here until like February next year. Oh, sure. Do you remember what happens in the first avatar

is i don't um i know that he gets put into a navi body but he's a spy at first and then he falls in love with the culture and stuff and then all of the humans who are led by giovanni rabisi get oh my god and they leave and that's all i know i remember what do you remember graham i remember that they do it by putting like weird tail things together and yeah they touch no hair things they're braids yes yeah yeah it's great it's okay are they good at it like there's or is you just put your brain together and it just does it itself or do you have to have like skills do you have to read maxim and learn how to do it right yeah exactly it's canon that maxim exists in the avatar universe you can see it on the jet planes and crumpled up in a forest stuff like that um here's what i remember his name is sully

yes yes his name is jake sully jake sully not even jake sullivan right no no no it is jake sully and the thing that the thing that all of other people want is called um unobtainium that's right it's unobtainium it has to be intentionally stupid it has to be purposefully stupid right i don't i don't know that anybody's purposely stupid yeah i don't feel like james cameron's not like a fun silly kind of guy the so um now what island are you on north or south um i am currently in the South Island, but I live up north. Okay. Is there a big rivalry?

Not really. There's lots of cities up north, so like three, and there's only two down here. So I guess that's it. South Island's prettier, but there's less stuff to do that's not outside it's all oh sure like right hiking and skiing and other kinds of sports that i'm not amazingly into as i'm i'm wasted on the the parks and mountains surrounding the city um they have no effects on me whatsoever no no was it you were on our call-in show last year or the year before last year now and you last year and you uh

you named your talent was that you named every meryl Streep movie for which she was nominated for... An Oscar. An Oscar. Yes. Is that right? Okay. Yes, but I missed out Florence Foster Jenkins. FFJ.

Ah. Yes. Do you think she should... Was that your way of saying she should not have been nominated? I personally wouldn't have, but I don't have that choice or now i don't remember have you have you seen all these movies yes yeah yes i have seen all of them what part does she play in the new avatar she is her name doro or meryl sully she's not in it but like a kate winslet is in it though not a kate blanchett as far as uh oh so kate winslet's in it i mean that that tracks

you know james carter loves a kate winslet uh oh yeah what's his name sam something is the main guy sam sam worthington worthington yeah yeah from worthington uh chevrolet um what uh and so have you seen every Meryl Streep movie or just everyone that's been nominated? I've seen everyone that's been nominated. I haven't seen all of her movies. I think I've missed a few recent ones. Have you seen Ricky and the Flash? Yes, I love that movie. I love her in it

I like it fine okay have you seen Mamma Mia yes I like it what about

Mamma Mia 2 here we go again she's not in it or is she she's not in that one no she doesn't even make a cameo in it

she has passed on oh she's dead spoilers I guess mega spoiler yeah yeah but they did what song do they use to tell you that they're dead is it

the winner takes it all the uh Corpse and Queen I think they put Dance and Queen in both even though sure and I feel like Cher is in that second one as well

oh yeah yeah so what do you what do you got for us this time around what are you what are you bringing oh oh um it's not a talent it's more a weird hobby that i picked up this year so i run inside i run back and forth in my house what? yeah so wait okay okay so

you run back and forth slow down yeah I run inside like you don't have a treadmill you you are

tell me about the um yeah explain the like I want to know about the environment like what are

how how far can you run back and forth um so i can run maybe it'd be 10 meters this way then 10 meters back if that yeah yeah it's roughly i think that's what how many steps how many steps do you get like i would say 12 12 steps yeah so i'm part of a 12-step program myself yeah yeah now maybe it's you it's time you admit there's a higher power um what uh do you live alone yes okay do you have downstairs neighbors yes but i don't think they're especially mobile so i haven't heard any complaints from them okay yeah hitting a broom up yeah they're too immobile to complain no yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like it's like that and i also think it would be strange if they assume someone was upstairs just yeah yeah because yeah yeah why do you say

why how much do you do this why do you do this i want all the w's like who went where and why um so i run every morning um i run anywhere from 5ks to 7ks in the outdoors no no no no no no it's inside yeah okay no this is what this guy does no but he's okay so you're measuring okay sorry i thought i thought you i thought you were gonna like i i started out running indoors outdoors and then i okay so you run five to seven kilometers okay uh every morning in a 10 meter space 12 yes isn't it back in 12 steps 12 steps right 12 steps yes yeah yeah and so are we listening to music when this is happening or is this no no okay so i have a huge huge screen i just play like a show play a clip on youtube and i yeah how do you know when you're done yeah that's true good question my handy handy watch okay iphone watch do you got an iWatch what is that yes um it is a um it is a

apple watch yeah okay cool and so um that's i like it you know there's a book that i read years ago that was by a famous criminal named uh charlie bronson and he he wrote a whole book to be like how you could get in shape in like a seven by eight yeah you pointed to your wrist you had an apple watch do you also have uh something on your ankle yeah do you have something on your ankle you have an electronic thing on your ankle no no chelsea boot um the uh's, uh, that's something to chew on. Yeah. You know what? Our last caller said, we,

we say too much or not too much, but that's what we say. Uh, but I noticed when you told me that I just went, Hmm. That's maybe what she was referring to. Um, but yeah,

no, yeah, yeah, yeah. It is my hobby and it is my fitness and people think it is deranged probably yeah have you yeah it is it is very prison-y um and i like that for you and i'm proud of you yeah and you've made that uh beer uh in the back of a toilet prison style so exactly yeah that's me well we gotta get a

truck and this has been such a treat to talk to you thanks for listening thanks for calling hopefully we'll our cross will pass again cross will pass again I'm sure they will in the house somewhere yes I'll see you during the during the marathon

held in your house yeah okay bye guys bye bye and uh okay i think we're you know not so late now here's gretchen gretchen's joining where's gretchen there's gretchen's got hannah all over her hand oh cool yeah yeah hi everybody hi guys hi gretchen how long has that henna been on your hands uh not even 12 hours i'm in india right now what oh cool yeah yes so my husband and i live in seattle but this is his hometown india what is the name of the place in india you're at luck now luck now and this is a is this one of their biggest bigger cities or is this a small town? It's the capital of Uttar Pradesh. So it's pretty big. You ignorant Amos. Yeah.

Just sure for ignorant Amos. Yes. Gretchen, have you been to Lucknow before? Yeah. Yeah. So in the spring, my husband, who wasn't my husband at the time, was like, you should meet my parents so we came to india they asked if you could milk them

this is i that took me a second but that is a meet the parents reference oh okay i just laugh to be polite sometimes i know graham's laughing to be polite he knows i'm making a reference but he doesn't get my art house movie uh yeah that's true all of his did you watch the one with subtitles that yeah should have meet the parents yeah um so what's how long of a trip are you on here well we've we've been here for a week, so we're having our India wedding. So that's why I have all this. Oh, how long have you been in North American married?

Two months. Okay. And how, when is the wedding? Our, uh, well it's happening like, you know, it's like a four day long affair. Oh, the official thing where, uh, you you know we walk around a fire that happens tomorrow another where question where's our invitation yeah did it get lost in the mail yeah oh man i thought i had your new address no he did send something wrong move all the time that's true i'm ahead of the law oh yeah um what uh uh how you liking it

yeah it's good it's good i love india and uh i i like being married so it's good to like let's just do it again question india wedding style yeah do is there um like a lot of talking or is it walking around a fire or like because you know north american weddings can get kind of lengthy with a bunch of i wrote my vows and such yeah which we did we did my husband's right here uh prove it oh yeah there is hey bud they say you look beautiful yes you look beautiful your body is a wonderland etc yeah yeah we we did our own vows for our seattle wedding and um i i think in terms of like modern north american weddings ours was probably on the longer side considering we're not especially religious but right this one uh uh, it starts at 2. A.M.

And it's going to go for two hours and it's all going to be in Sanskrit. So, you know, we're just along for the ride. Two hours at two in the morning. What is that? Why? Why two in the morning?

Yeah. Why? There are auspicious days to be married and auspicious times to be married and that is an auspicious time on an auspicious day well maybe when the priest says do it you do it yeah yeah um what uh huh the um now here's another question that's maybe and this may be ignorant Amos. Is Hannah, does everybody that gets married wear henna or is that a personal choice or how does that come about? I suppose somebody could say no. I don't want to get the henna, but as the person new to the family,

I'm just going to go with what's suggested to me. Yeah, absolutely. It looks great. It looks amazing. Yeah, yeah. It took three hours. So we were at my in-laws house last night. I had this done.

They also did my feet. And how long does it last for? I won't show you the feet. This says Bride of Sed of sedan that's my husband's name that's very cute um but then gretchen because i'm also my own person oh very good good score absolutely um have you oh and he and he got a g on his hand for oh so there we go nice um uh what's have you learned the sanskrit word for bridezilla sweetie what's the sanskrit word for bridezilla sweetie what's the sanskrit word for

bridezilla gretchen oh man you say you are so roasted so we we met doing improv in seattle so you know everything's always just uh exhausting yeah oh man i don't know that if we can top that burn that was so savage did we uh now the i i don't know if we've asked you but uh i i think we asked people do they have a question do they have a talent or do they have a regret do have or you haven't asked me that. Here's my talent. Ready? Okay. Here we go. What is it? You're shaking your hand. Is it making noise? Oh, we couldn't hear it. Yeah, you need to put your earbuds

on your hand. We believe you, but I mean... No. I trust that you do. Can you do this? No. Dave's doesn't get picked up either. Why? Hmm.

Graham, you do something. Peace sign. Can you do this? Can you wish better for your fellow human? Graham, yeah. Thank you. Thank you very much. Well, Gretchen, I hate to see you go, but I'd love to watch you leave.

Thanks, guys. You guys are the best. Congratulations on your wedded bliss. Thank you. Take it easy. Bye. Bye. Take it sleazy.

All right. Next caller. Oh, no. Gretchen's still here do I have to get rid of her do I have to get rid of myself oh okay bye that was uh

we almost had two callers meet each other now this one we're waiting we're waiting I've just gotta save my file here okay Mason We're waiting. We're waiting. I've just got to save my file here. Okay. Mason. I don't know.

Your mic is turned off. Whatever. There you are. Hi, Mason. It's okay. It's okay. Graham's doing a little saving right now. But, you know, you and I can talk.

Yeah, sure. Mason, where are you calling from? I calling from st albans vermont just south of uh montreal do you uh do you cross the border often i haven't done it yet we just moved out here about a year and a half ago where from san diego whoa opposite side of the country yeah yeah not be more opposite yeah pretty much uh and it's snowing right now and it's new to me so that's wonderful did you grow up in san diego yeah yeah um what uh you big surfer uh i surfed twice uh i caught a wave once man uh i rode the curl it was pretty tight it does sound authentic yeah oh i gotta do the shaka too so yeah hang loose um now uh mason was right here we go it's okay graham i'm recording you here still. You're good. Mason, can I see you do that haka again, please?

Shaka? Shaka, shaka. Yeah. Can you do the haka? Yeah, can you do the haka, please? I've got to go grab it from upstairs with the other baby supplies. Yes. Okay.

Mason, are you in a basement? Oh, yeah. I am in a basement right now. Looks very basement-y. It looks almost like a root cellar. Is that kind of different than a basement? It's a can cellar. Yeah, because it looks like this could get you through some kind of emergency.

Yeah, I got like three cans of chili, so I think I'm ready for the big one. You know what I mean. What brought you to the opposite side of the country yeah uh yeah i don't know it's just a nice change of pace it's beautiful out here uh we can afford a home out here too so sure yeah um where's your you have a partner i assume yeah she's upstairs where is she from originally she's from uh just outside la so we were both in soco really huh yeah yeah i i'm are you the most interesting person you've ever met uh like it's it sounds insane just to like change a pace like who does that yeah i guess uh i'm either a genius or an idiot so i know i i love it i just like the things yeah those are the two choices either you're a genius or you're insane and it's uh what does danny devito say in the man on the moon trailer

uh he says i don't know what you are yeah shut your mouth you're insane but you might also just be brilliant nice or something you do want somebody to say that to you one day uh and then 10 minutes later go no you're insane what's the uh what's the big uh what's going on in town in where you are? We just missed it. There was a tractor parade for Christmas. A tractor parade. Yeah. Christmas was Santa driving one of the tractors. I don't know.

I didn't, I didn't go a bunch of guys. Man, this is the big event. This is it. It is a big day, but I, but I will say the town brought the big event to us.

Cause a guy, a bunch of guys with Je put christmas lights on their jeeps and they rode around town so they went through our neighborhood at one point so hell yeah there you go bringing the parade to you that's great well uh uh mason we asked our callers to come equipped with a question, a talent, or a regret. We've had plenty of questions and regrets, but no talents yet. No, we had one talent. The lady, what could clap with her one hand?

Oh, that's right, but the mic didn't pick it up. Oh, shoot. I don't... Oh, shoot. I want to deliver on talents. No, it's okay. No you choose choose your i'm just i'm just recapping the show so far um i just installed i installed a punching bag down here for my wife um there's a pull-up bar next to it i bet i could do a single pull-up really let's see it yeah i can't hey you know what i bet you could do 10 uh let's see smart money's on 10 smart money's on 10 and the wide shot we see we're in pajamas

he's he's okay he's doing it one two he's not gonna do three never three i'll give them three two and a quarter i don't know that's good all right that was awesome man i couldn't is it was that gonna be is that your regret i did have a regret too okay socket socket to. Let's hear this regret. Well, I called in and overheard that had been called in before. And I felt really silly. What does that mean? Well, so I heard a little kid at the hardware store look at a snowblower and say, Mom, the snowblower is so beautiful. I thought that was hilarious.

And I called it in. And then I was re-listening to episodes and Graham had an overheard where a kid saw a snowblower and said the snowblower was beautiful. Are you sure you didn't dream it? Yeah, I thought it was real. That's impossible. Yeah.

So do you think you heard Graham's and thought it happened to you? Or did it really, you remember it happening to you? I remember it happening. So I think this kid listens to the podcast. And he's going around to hardware stores pointing at beautiful snowblowers. Yeah. They are beautiful. You have to give them that.

Where were you? Was this in San Diego? No, this was last year in vermont so good because there's not if it happened in san diego i'd be like not too many snowblowers there champ yeah oh no my story's falling apart um that uh why do people we got a lot of people who are like yeah i was just re-listening to every old episode yeah i was painting my house so no but there are other shows like i love that people listen but i don't understand twice um it's like watching a movie twice you just you love it you get deeper into it the more you see see different shades um what's yours what's uh what other podcast

do you like uh i like the flop house okay all right you guys should have stew on at some point that'd be great got it okay we'll put it right down stew sure i like uh that's do with you that's just do with you okay nice nice too um Do. Um, let's see. I listened to, I started listening to hardcore history while doing shores. That's pretty, it's pretty intense. Those episodes are really long. Should we have them on?

Yeah. Uh, this is named history on. Yeah. We should have history on. Okay. Yeah. Alexander the great.

He'd be great. Oh man. I love him. He looks just like Colin Farrell. Exactly. Um, yeah alexander the great he'd be great oh man i love him he looks just like colin farrell exactly um yeah and uh i listen to greatest gen a lot too so i guess i just listened to a couple of max fun podcasts over and over that's cool man that's cool that's yeah gotta support the home team betty yeah yeah exactly that's right eddie um well mason it's been such a slice yeah and my only nephew is named mason so i'll never forget you and my only jar yeah okay well

what a pleasure thanks guys bye Bye. Now we have our next caller is named Ian, but I don't see an Ian. Oh, okay. I think we might be down a caller. Okay. So then we're. We're skipping ahead. We're catching up with SS. S.

S. Sarah S. I hope this is Sarah S. Hello, Sarah. It is. Sarah. Hooray. Sarah, where I hope this is Sarah S. Hello. Hello, Sarah. It is. Sarah, hooray. Sarah, where are you calling from? I am in Alexandria, Virginia, just outside of D.C.

Where all the big decisions are made, right? Yes, apparently. Were you at Quantico today? I was not at Quantico today. I was in this room. Do you work in government i do not i am a journalist oh you cover government you're like uncovering scandals hopefully not too many scandals but uh focused on energy news topics which tend to be oh today was big energy news

yeah what's the big yeah fishing fishing today was fishing day news. Yeah, what's the big, yeah. Fishing, fishing. Today was fishing day. Did you hear about the fishing? I did not hear about the fishing. Oh my God, you're going to get scooped. Oh, I bet. There's a big thing happened with fishing. What is it? Yeah, what is it?

I don't know. I'm not an energy journalist. What type of energy? What type of energy? Any type of energy? At this point, yes. At this point, I'm an editor. It was fusion. Sorry, it was fusion.

There we go. All right. It's like fishing. Oh, man. All right. Yes, definitely. But fishing's a thing, right? Yeah.

Yes, it is a thing. It's the more common thing. I definitely initially heard you say fishing, and I was like, I'm pretty sure that's not energy. That's not energy. I don't know. Let's check out the calorie count on this salmon. Also, you know, that's going to take a lot of energy to get that bad boy out of the water. Oh, yeah.

Oh, man. Never been fishing. Wouldn't know. But did you hear the big fusion news? Yes, I did did a reporter on my team even covered it oh cool nice yeah yeah guys i'm in the dark what was the fusion thing that happened today big breakthrough oh yes that is the word being used uh breakthrough from a science perspective less so from a commercial perspective you can now finally do fusion in a way that

produces slightly more energy than it requires which is the first time that that's possible which is actually pretty amazing that is amazing i mean it's not it's not from a commercial standpoint which is a shame for me because i love spending money i want to buy some fusion also the the last commercial one was that you can turn coke into pepsi but not the other way around they're still working on that yes absolutely definitely serious breakthrough oh god i'm so stupid i thought it was fishing um so uh we here on our end we've asked if you have a talent a question or some sort of regret

what category do you fall into man you don't know about the regrets i didn't realize about the regrets i might have i've been supposed to know about the regrets but i'm gonna i'm gonna pass on the regrets for for today but okay i have at least one question and maybe just like a couple short additional quick yeah yeah yeah yeah so i could do it the the first question is one really for dave i feel like i should have caught this somewhere in all these years but where did grandpa get his name i've been wondering this for years grandpa grandpa my old dog uh god rest his soul god rest you merry gentlemen i had a feeling that was coming he uh we named him he was named after well abby's aunt sheila had a dog named Klaus. And when Klaus got very old, he had a white, uh, white, uh, a very white face and just casually, you know, you'd say, Hey, what's up grandpa.

And, uh, and we thought that was very funny. And then we thought it was very funny, uh, to have to yell grandpa at like a dog park. Grandpa, get over here. But that was, yeah, that was essentially it. I think maybe Grandpa Simpson from The Simpsons had a role in it as well. But as with any dog, yeah, come up with a big list of names. And the funniest one makes the cut. Like Monster.

Yeah. I've been curious. So thank you. So the, the couple of like quick random questions I at my work group, ask folks questions during meetings sometimes to make it less boring and less impersonal. So some of the ones that I've enjoyed from recently have been,

would you, I hear you guys talk about the weather in vancouver regularly would you rather have a short day in terms of numbers of hours of daylight but be in like comfortable t-shirt weather just like perfectly comfortable or lots of daylight like 14 15 hours of daylight but definitely still need like a coat all of the time like a big coat like it's oh every day all the time every day all the time you just have to live in this exact environment you have to pick not necessarily a bulky coat but like a significant significant i think i know my answer right off the bat okay let's say it at the same time go ahead uh day's worm yeah i think i agree uh because we get summer

but we get those summer nights uh where uh it's actually it stays bright until like 10 o'clock at night and then you can't do like nighttime stuff like if your friend is like hey uh we're gonna project a movie onto the wall of the building next door come over at 11 o'clock yeah exactly uh we're gonna project somebody else's feelings towards you um but uh both sound like hell uh my favorite, the thing I dislike about every season is that they're all too long. I want variety. I like a variety of weather. Yeah.

Dave, do you have any names for your other weather times of the year? Like we've got winter, fall, summer, spring. What would you call the other? Because if you're breaking it up into other days, what else? Yeah, I guess. Oh, boy. No, there's like, don't people do like a, isn't there a meme of like, oh, there's a false spring and fool's spring and then there's fusion and fission.

No, I don't have names for things. Don't put me on the spot, bro. What about you? What would you choose? For a name for a different season season no uh oh sorry sarah what would you say what would you choose for i would definitely choose warm with uh longer nights i'm not necessarily a fan of the longer nights i don't actually want that but being cold is the worst thing in the entire world so that one a longer night see that that wouldn't affect me i like i like a dark and stormy

night but it wouldn't be stormy it would be very warm uh yeah i'm interested in that yeah nice good deal and then do you have another you said you have another like mini question i do another mini question of that same nature do you rather with all of the appropriate guidance and equipment go caving or skydiving fuck neither jesus christ god you mean like spelunking yeah that one you like fishing um yeah skydiving i guess it feels like you get it over with sooner honest to god i don't i couldn't like both of them terrify me heights the thing about skydiving you know how you're like on a roller when you're on a roller coaster it's terrifying the whole time yeah like with skydiving people seem like oh i'm so nervous i'm about to go out of a plane and then uh and then they like get used to it how do you get used

to falling well it takes a couple of minutes. So you just like, you know, you hurt your throat. Yeah. Not advised to have a lozenge in your mouth during skydiving. Cause like by the time it hits the ground, it's like, it's like a bullet hitting right through someone's skull. Yeah. I guess skydiving. Cause I usually i usually i usually when i skydive i wear a little snowboard too and i end up landing on a mountain and it's

pretty cool are you triple x i'm a bit triple x i'm a bit edwin from the music video for ain't it good to be alive look at um everybody look it up uh i guess i would go the cave way i can't imagine jumping out of a plane that's it's too like at least in that scenario it could be a a well-traveled cave that uh you know that's like safe and all this kind of stuff but skydiving is just always going to be skydiving so yeah spelunking yeah well enough thank you oh how about your choice oh i've done both and i would choose caving oh la la i know so fancy i'm terrified of heights and also throw up on airplanes so that was just the worst decision i'm terrified of caves that's fair well thanks for calling and well nice to talk to you happy new year and all that auld lang syne thank you guys

bye and uh here we go two more they're both in the waiting room here we go should we have them meet each other meet cute and here's ben hello ben. Hi. Hey. How's this been going so far? Dream come true. Wow. Is that bad to ask? I guess I could just wait a week and know how it went. No, but it's nice to get a little inside scoop if you can.

Yeah. Are you going to listen back and hear all the callers and be like, oh, this is why Dave and Graham were in such a bad mood when I called? Yeah, yeah. I'm sure i'm not the first or the last it's gonna be in the middle where are you calling from yeah jesus christ in chicago oh second city i don't have a talent to display but i uh have decided to bring up a overheard that i wrote in okay um did it get read on the show it did uh past guest of the show kevin lee um was here was he passed oh and uh my my name as you can see from my screen, is Benjamin, and my last name starts with a B.

Yeah, I can only imagine what we did there. Yeah. Ben B. We have an overhear here from Benjamin B. Yep. And he's halfway through his life, and he's going to do this call now because he's about to be a kid again. Exactly. When it comes to easy jokes, we're kind of when it comes to easy jokes we're kind of basic bees

ourselves well i want to ask that because this isn't the first time um in my life that this has come up so what what what do i do you gotta change your name to tyler d yeah tyler d uh Yeah, Tyler D. You know, Wayne B. is another one that we could... Surely I wouldn't be confused for anyone. Or B. Wayne. Or B. Wayne. Or B. Wayne. Yeah, sure. Yeah, great.

Boy, I mean, what do you do? Like, you could just go by Ben. Yeah, Ben's pretty cool. Just omit the last initial entirely. Oh, you know what? You can't just go by Ben because then you're missing the jamming. Yeah, what about when I go to the DMV?

What do I do there? I can't just omit an important piece of identification. You can't? What's the DMV good for if you can't go there? Yeah, the DMV is like, but they'll just give you your full last name yeah that's what's your middle name ben um benjamin it's michael michael and what was your mother's maiden name yeah and also what's your social security number first pet

all my favorite podcast questions yeah what is um boy i was so you know how like your uh credit card i was buying gas today you know how you're supposed to check the gas the like gas machine to make sure that it doesn't have like a credit card reader on it yeah but the pump the pump right yeah well uh do are you does it still matter anymore like because or like you're supposed to cover your code when you punch in your code oh yeah it's just all on the internet somewhere right yeah you can just buy that probably but like yeah if someone steals your like it would it would require someone to like steal your credit card have a hidden camera of your code yeah now people can just tap everything

right well that's what they used to do after punked they would be filming them putting in the thing and then they tackle them right after they told them they were punked and steal their wallet yeah that's why that happened i'd be scared that i would find like a credit card skimmer and now i have to have who do i have a confrontation with do i go inside you go inside and you're like i found this oh can you put it back please i'm gonna out your 7-eleven no one's gonna come here anymore you're gonna swat your 7- bureau oh i should get a billboard yes yes this could be so bad for everyone anyone who has to go on the consumer reporter segment yeah well i got suckered uh i'm i felt really dumb but now you're doing something dumb so let's film you making some chili or something like that yeah

uh ben's just a regular guy he likes the chili as much as the rest yeah ben lost uh thirty thousand dollars to the guy at 7-eleven hey ben what's your credit level wow that's great now what are we looking at in the background there you got some pictures it looks like a Tetris thing

stuff on the walls here what's more interesting at the risk of swatting myself I guess is you can from my apartment window you can see wrigley field where the cubs play oh shit i feel like we kind of lucked out because when we we didn't see this apartment before we moved in um so we didn't know which direction the windows were so kind of that's pretty cool for a square, I guess that's a one in four shot that you have a good view. Is that a, like, can you see any of the game or is it just?

Oh, no. No, just like the lights and the seats. Is that pretty? Yeah. Yeah. No, it's nice. It's good. So on any given night, you could just go to the street and just walk up and get like some tickets that the game's already started and they're giving away real cheap.

You can do that anytime you want, right? Yeah, during the season, I guess. Are the games generally in the day there? Yeah, there's a lot of early afternoon games, late afternoon games. My friend Ferris went to one of those. Yeah. Coincidentally, on the same day as a parade right no coincidence it was a parade on a day everybody was working yeah they point that out on the you can take like a boat architecture tour and they point out a window

and they're like oh that's where Ferris's dad works. What's, uh, have you taken the architecture tour? Yeah. A couple of times. Are you from Chicago originally? No,

I've been here, um, like a year and a half. Where are you from? Oh yeah. Um, before that I was in Los Angeles, LA.

Um, what is your favorite building in Chicago from the tour? Oh, that's a good, great question. LA. What is your favorite building in Chicago from the tour? That's a great question. Yeah, I'll take my answer off the air. Okay, thanks. Sounds good. Seriously, though, what is your favorite building? Oh, there's this one almost at the lake,

and it's like these three different heights of a blue building. I don't know. I wouldn't even know how to tell you to look it up wrong the answer is oprah's house yeah it's on the river believe it or not oprah's house yeah you know there's a river and a lake yeah yeah uh lake michigan is like at the end of the river what's the river the chicago river oh sure well sorry do you know what you could do Ben B you live in Chicago you could get a picture taken with

the bean and then that could be your avatar just throwing it up there as a possibility and you know what you can do Graham go fuck myself that's right okay thanks Ben thank you good luck thanks we'll need it and here's our final caller final caller oh look at that a little avatar action

yeah i mean not for the listeners he's got a little avatar then hello hi roger i'm sorry we had to wait so long no it's okay i was just uh catching up on the news did you hear the queen died yes very well done very well done should cut you off right now i'm surprised that was the first we got yeah that's really yeah And Roger, we didn't tell you this. When I was handing out time slots, you're the last caller of the night. Yeah, so you got to bring the heat. Yeah, but also... The headliner?

Yeah. Enough for your headliner. He's in the back waiting. Let him know you're a good friend. Yeah, he's hungry. We're expecting 45 minutes out of you. Okay, well, I've just given, yeah, just getting progressively drunker. So it's just ready.

What are you sipping on? It's like the regular headliner. What are you drinking? You're drinking out of a teacup. Whiskey. Whiskey in a teacup. Yeah. Delicious.

I labeled it for you. Heroes on a half shell. Where are you calling from Roger? Yeah I'm calling from the Chicagoland area Oh our last caller was from Chicago He was in Wrigleyville Wrigleyville Oh excellent

Yeah that's true Chicago I'm in the suburbs Oh that's where Ferris lived And that's where Home Alone guy lived Yeah that's where Wayne and Garth live Yeah That's a good Shit's happening out there guy lived. Yeah, that's where Wayne and Garth live. Yeah, that's a good... Shit's happening out there in the Chicago area.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shermer High School is where all those Breakfast Club folks went. Yeah. Are you from the Chicagoland area originally? Originally, yes, yes. So you grew up there. I grew up there, yes. Now, where we live, we hear commercials for Empire carpets that go,

800, 588, 2300, Empire. Today. Where you grew up, it didn't have the 800, right? 588. It was just 588, yeah. 2300, 2300, Empire. Nice. Then they went global.

Have you ever used empire carpet I've actually used the empire carpet number um I've they

I have an app on my phone they also have a suicide hotline if you're feeling blue ever related

suicides if you're feeling blue yes um the the if you're feeling

blue and you want to match the drapes okay all right you call the empire carpet if you're feeling blue and you want to match the drapes okay alright you call the empire carpet the empire carpet number I use it when

I'm making prank calls you can change your number outwards and so I'll call my friends and it'll look like it's coming from the empire carpet number are you still doing prank calls? yeah we want to know what the prank calls. In this day and age? Yeah, I don't really have

much to say from the Empire Carpet company. Right. Your carpet is right. You're hiding your number. Is your rug running? It's a harmless prank when you get a fun call from maybe the Jenny's number or the Empire Carpet number. Yeah, it is. It's a harmless prank when you get a fun call from maybe the Jenny's number or the Empire Carpet number.

Yeah, yeah, it is. It was disguised. Yeah. You're one of the original jerky boys. What other carpet questions do I have? Roger, what are you doing this holiday season? Yeah, let us know. Colin, let us know. Colin, let us know.

This holiday season, I am mostly working. I work at a hospital. Okay. So I'll get the proper Christmas holiday off, luckily. But pretty much working throughout the rest of the time. A lot of my colleagues are taking time off. What do you do at the hospital? I am a speech-language

pathologist. So I work with trach and vent patients in communication and swallowing. Wow. Holy cow. Actually, Graham, do you remember I asked you a long time ago to watch the WBAL butterfly? Yeah, To swallow this.

Yeah, to swallow this. See what happens. The diving bell and the butterfly. The diving bell and the butterfly about the communication. Have not. Have not made it. I've seen Halloween, all the Halloween movies. Julian Schnabel movies.

It's too French. It's too French, yeah. Did you see us when we did a live show in Chicago? I did. I did. Um, that's when Graham told me he had watched that movie. No,

I never did. Never did. Not, not possible. I really, I missed the first half. So I only saw the butterfly. Yeah.

But what happens at the end of bell, right? Yeah. Yeah. You gotta watch after the end credits scene. Oh, sure. Yeah, it's up the next one, you know. Is the King's Speech also something that would be under the umbrella of?

That would, yeah, yeah. Working with stuttering and fluency disorders, yes. That's cool, man. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's a really cool gig. That's all I can say about it. Is it super cool? I've really enjoyed working with it.

Yeah. So I work in a respiratory hospital now. So I work with getting patients talking again after weeks or months of not being able to do so. Wow. Shit. Yeah. I didn't even think about that. There's a lot of things I don't think about.

And this is, this whole field is one of them. I didn't, I didn't realize that this was a thing that you would have to do but of course you have to do this yeah you know what we we've had a few guests on the show who could use your help some people who uh could use a little help talking uh right right they get them talking again i'm off the clock right now. I'm sorry. But well, our guests aren't here either. Yeah. You're just getting drunk on a Tuesday. Yeah. On a Tuesday night.

Well, no. Go ahead. No, you know you, Roger. I mean, is there any Zoom? I sent you an email. I made an old jingle for you a long time ago, and I don't remember why. And I really don't remember what it's from, and I guarantee you don't remember what it's from. It's from an old Brent Butt episode.

Okay. I was going through one of my old laptops the other day. I found, you know, just going through old clips and files. And I said, this one's called Simple Pleasures. And I have no idea why. And I opened it up and I don't think I ever sent it in. But I think you asked for a clip. I have. You have emailed this to us.

Yeah, it's a 10 second audio clip. Okay. I'm going to play it. Is that all right with everyone? Do we all do we have Cora? So this has been simple pleasures. Nice. Well done.

Simple pleasures. Simple pleasures. Simple pleasures. All right. That's it there. That was nice. Yeah. Yeah. I have no idea why I made it that harmony um never sent it in before but

now you get to hear it yeah finally the unreleased tapes kind of like prince's wondering i was wondering why we didn't have that uh yeah a segment of the show that probably only existed once yeah uh and you know what that that's a simple pleasure that i wonder if anyone else sent one in sending a simple pleasures i'm looking i'm checking our email oh no you know what people did it was a segment we did it looks like we did it in what year was that uh boy uh no it's hard to tell. We've gotten emails about it between 2014 and 2020, so there's no telling.

Just the word simple pleasures up here. That's amazing. Thank you for sending that in. Sorry that we had to wait all this time to make good on it, but we did. We played it, and now our credit score is good it's back on track yeah sure anything in the positive do you have anything else that you would like to share again or you've got nothing but time now no one's waiting to talk to us really

kick back do you have like um i don't know any rap lyrics that you've written that you want to share? None that I'd like to share currently. Because Graham's been beatboxing. Graham's been beatboxing? Yeah. That's the talent he has. Weak, weak, weak, weak, weak, weak, weak. Pretty good.

Pretty good, Graham. If your mother only knew. good graham if your mother only knew is there a delay it probably doesn't yeah it's a delay that's a delay don't worry about it don't worry about it um come out in a couple weeks well this uh i tell you what it's been a treat yeah and uh you're a great last guest

congratulations on your whiskey in a cup on a Tuesday. I'm sure that it'll bode well for tomorrow morning. There's some speech patient who will be like, oh, this guy's really off his game. Yeah. This guy smells like booze. This guy smells like the diving bell.

Absolutely. Well, thank you. I wish you guys and all the other bumpers uh happy holidays you know what we do this year the last guest we gotta count down to the new year we gotta count down the new year right okay yeah yeah dave kick it off okay ten nine nine eight eight seven seven six six five you guys are fucking me up sorry sorry guys three two five one four happy new year two three two one zero happy new year happy new year everybody sorry my internet's weird yeah well people are in different time zones so it'll work old acquaintance be forgotten

take it and don't hang on the vine yeah um etc hey acquaintance why so old come over here and give me a cold let me clear my throat acquaintance

okay well we've suffered long enough that's true our long national nightmare is over thanks everyone for listening we'll be back next week with a fresh app uh but thanks for everyone for a wonderful 2022 from Graham, Roger, and myself. Yeah, and you know what? Stay safe out there, and we'll see you in 2024. We're skipping a year. Alright. Bye!