Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 772 - Luba Magnus

Episode Date: January 3, 2023

Comedian Luba Magnus joins us to talk foraging, a broken finger, and a bad hotel....

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 772 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who he can't resist it. He's gotta have it. He loves his gingerbread, Mr. Dave Shumka. Guilty. Yeah guys, it's me, a little gingerbread boy. gingerbread boy. I mean, we had a little pre-show discussion about when
Starting point is 00:00:48 we're recording this versus when we're releasing this and I'm going to have to admit, it's pre-Christmas and I'm just freaking full of ginge. Do you have any opposition to having a post-Christmas gingerbread man slash
Starting point is 00:01:04 house? I don't have any opposition, but I do at a certain point it has to end it has to stop it can't does have to and they're not like i'm not gonna make it and they stopped selling it yeah they're not gonna they're not gonna make it after oh i mean the drop dead date on gingerbread they're probably not making it after the 20th. That's true. And they don't resuscitate it for Valentine's Day. For Valentine's Day. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Can you believe it? Would you get me for Valentine's Day this year? I got you some tonight dough ice cream. And for you, I laughed too hard at your joke. for you i laughed too hard at your joke um the uh i but i was in a uh local bakery the other day and they don't call their gingerbread people gingerbread men or gingerbread women they call them ginger vigils and isn't that your vigils that's fun um our guest today is her own uh ginger vigil uh she has a fantastic album out called baba luba it's luba magnus everybody hello hello where do you stand on gingerbread uh i'm i'm kind of neither here nor there i don't
Starting point is 00:02:16 love i don't seek it out but if it's in front of me i eat it you know yeah yeah but i feel that way much more sugar cookie like give me just the sugar cookie with the the piping icing i'm good yes i feel like i'm a lot more of a uh i feel uh i thought gingerbread was like the number one cookie of all time but i find that i'm unique in my love for it yeah i mean i like it thick too i like it bready. Ooh, girl. I spilled coffee on myself saying that. I gesticulated too hard. Should we get to Noah?
Starting point is 00:02:55 Yeah. Luba, you are joining us from all the way on the other side of the country. You are in Halifax, Nova Scotia. I am. What is the sports team out there? Go Ravens? Moose Heads? Yes, go Moose Heads.
Starting point is 00:03:16 Yeah, there's no... It's going to be your year. Yeah, sure. I know so little about it. I should go to one, though. I know so little about it. I should go to one though. Like I'm not much of a sports person, but I do like,
Starting point is 00:03:27 you know, it kind of helps you get into the, where you are as the local sports team. So yeah. Yeah. Getting into the spirit of things. Yeah. Um,
Starting point is 00:03:36 you, uh, you're born and raised in Ontario. Yes. And then you, you've made the move to Halifax, which a lot of people, that's kind of a different move than a lot of people make. Do you have family there?
Starting point is 00:03:48 Or why Halifax? No, I am. So it's kind of a, this is a long tale. Let me take you on a journey. Oh, yeah, please. Dave's got some gingerbread. He can gnaw on. I finished it.
Starting point is 00:03:59 I finished it all. I can go get more. Sitting in front of a fireplace. Perfect. Yeah. let's set the scene i uh a long time ago originally i wanted to move here for school uh i did not get in okay yeah i tried to come here for piano i took piano my whole life but i got nervous and then i forgot how to play piano in my audition so I didn't get it oh no I completely choked it was uh it was wild and I even went to the like after the audition you like sit in the hallway
Starting point is 00:04:32 and I must have looked like I did poorly and some guy was just like oh you know what it's fine like we need students here everyone gets in oh no that's what everyone gets in you couldn't have been so bad that you don't get in i was i was um tell me about the audition what were you supposed to play yeah oh i don't even um piano man well well i don't remember now but yeah it was all like the conservatory like classical like i don't know william tell all over sure yeah yeah for sure um but uh yeah i've always uh liked it out here and i think just post covid um like i think the omicron shutdown was like i need to get out of toronto like i just need to be beside the sea yeah and then i am uh i i came here for a tour i was here a little over a week and i was just i could just see it being a place where i could like live like a quality of life thing it was really like oh i could do enough comedy and uh yeah be you know
Starting point is 00:05:42 happier as a human being so i literally have that every town i go to i'm like yeah i could see living here there's a theater for sale i'll just become a theater manager perfect no problem yeah yeah and i also i love nature and there's uh it's everywhere so yeah oh hell yeah yeah i like it here a lot yeah it's it's encroaching. We got to battle against it. We got to beat it back. Stay away. Gain some grand during the COVID, but we're getting back to it. Good, good, good. Now, Luba, you're the third Luba we've had on the show.
Starting point is 00:06:18 Wow. We had Luba Goy. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. And we had the singer Luba who sang Let It Go, but not the one from Frozen. Are those the only Lubas you know as well? Oh, 100%. And people come up to me all the time and mention either one. They're like, well, you know there was a singer or you know Luba Goy.
Starting point is 00:06:36 And I'm just like, yeah, I know. Now, I'm pleased as punch that we have another Ukrainian-Canadian on the show. Yay. Are you in touch with your ukrainian heritage like i'm not that's a great question uh i i would say not and i always wished i was more and there's lots of time to be but um i don't speak ukrainian uh how many generations back did your family speak ukrainian uh so it was my great-grandparents on my dad's mom's side who were they were ukrainian and then my baba spoke ukrainian and i remember asking her to teach me and but that was in the day where like um the days where she didn't want you know to show any kind of heritage you know she didn't want to talk she didn't want to talk to me she didn't
Starting point is 00:07:33 want to teach those were in the days where we were fighting yeah she would she would speak ukrainian but not tell me what yeah she uh you know she's just like we speak english and that's that so yeah did you uh i feel like when i went to a ukrainian household in edmonton they would pronounce uh things like kubasa instead of kielbasa do you ever have any of that kind of like do you say pierogies or pierogi i think well pierogi isn't it petahay or i okay all right that's probably the only word i know i went to a town where the biggest attraction in the town is a giant kielbasa sausage that was put there by the kielbasa plant that's in town but it had it had a heart on the bottom of it and when the sun would
Starting point is 00:08:31 hit it at a certain point of day it just looked like a shadow of a penis over the whole time um yeah is uh um dave is your grandmother a baba or is that no i had no baba i was babaless um i had my grandmother i think my grandmother on the shumka side was actually polish but okay my grandfather his father his parents i think, spoke Ukrainian, but that was well before I was born. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do either of you have any inclination? Well, I know Dave doesn't, but like track heritage, if Dave's uninterested in this heritage. Well, no, I'm not not interested.
Starting point is 00:09:18 It's like, oh, actually, my father-in-law, he's super interested, and he's's done his so he'll just do everyone else's he'll just like tell me again oh your father your you know your great-grandfather was the mayor of ethalbert manitoba oh that sounds very specific luba have you ever dove into your uh family tree i a little bit it used to be something that interested me a lot and my mom is deep into the like ancestry.com stuff it interests me but it also especially it makes me very anxious as well I don't know why I I think maybe just because I do come from like several different backgrounds but I can't fully identify with any of them, you know, like I was born and raised here.
Starting point is 00:10:06 So then I can try to relate, but I can never relate as much as being from anywhere else. So then, yeah, just the whole concept of backgrounds, it makes me very nervous, actually, especially having the name Luba and people,
Starting point is 00:10:20 you know, approach me like speaking Ukrainian. And I'm like, no, no, no. And then I feel bad, but it's my name, you know, but, you know, me like speaking ukrainian and i'm like no no no and then i feel bad but it's my name you know but uh you know i very much i i love it as much as it you know i i feel i feel like i
Starting point is 00:10:33 let people down yeah sorry no you know you're doing great here uh you're not letting us down. Perfect. Yeah, I don't have an ancestry person, but I know somebody, a cousin of my family did it and found out that our unique connective individual was a man who had two families that didn't know about each other. Oh, cool. So the family tree splits off in two very different directions because this guy uh bigamist polygamist if it's just bigamy just bigamy um well isn't it like like half the world or half like anyone who descends from european ancestry can trace it back to charlemagne really because he was getting it on left and right oh cool yeah i wonder how many people in gene simmons family uh he managed to sire in his day him being the sexist uh sexiest sex symbol that i can think okay who else is like nick cannon was that another nick yeah nick cannon and did you know so nick cannon has like 11 or 12 kids he's got two with mariah carey that are like 10 years old and then the other 10 are like all under three years old yeah
Starting point is 00:12:01 i i think i saw a breakdown of it recently and i could be wrong i'm sorry if i'm lying on your podcast but i feel like he there's a baby with one and then a baby with another person and then a baby with the person yeah he's definitely gone back and forth okay really okay wow that's very understanding of those i think maybe with like kind of like going in a circle with through like or triangle i guess yeah you get I guess. You get a baby, then you get a baby, then you get a baby. You want another baby? Okay, you get a baby. Wasn't George Foreman like that?
Starting point is 00:12:31 Didn't he have a whole mess of kids? I know he had a lot of kids named George, but I think I don't know how many families or mothers there were. Yeah, my whole family, there's only one kid. So he's going to have to carry on the family name. Oh, of the
Starting point is 00:12:53 next generation. Yeah, got one. Heavy as the head, right? You need to start getting people pregnant, Graham. Well, I've had an offer in from Nick Cannon cannon but i don't know how that's gonna work um louis you uh unless i misunderstand you are an animator are you still an animator out there or we're an animator yeah so i'm right now with the little animation
Starting point is 00:13:22 studio that's actually in toronto and i work remotely and I'm an assistant director there. I don't do much animation anymore except for my own stuff. But it is it is an animation studio. So I'm still in I'm in the world. I I'm in it. I want to know what your stuff is. What is the what is the stuff you're working on in your own accord? I like to make my own little cartoons uh i guess i've slowed down a little bit since covid but especially
Starting point is 00:13:49 during covid i was just like making cartoons to pass the time and throwing them online and i used to run a show called uh drawn up at comedy bar in toronto where the show was run by cartoons so i animated this little robot and he would introduce the axe and then I would like make animated sketches to like keep the show running um I love it and yeah and and now I've started doing um uh like I like doing one-liners as part of like my longer sets and I've started showing like if there's a projector I'll show animations to coincide with the jokes so yeah i animate yeah you could say i animate are you boy i'm gonna i'm so stupid do you use a computer yes i do that's it no that's a great question yeah i'm not classically trained i can barely does anyone do that does anyone draw to like do like multiple cells or whatever yeah yeah some do and i think a lot of it is now like hand drawn on a tablet that and then right onto the
Starting point is 00:14:54 computer but yeah that's still cell animation still exists yeah huh yeah yeah well how did you did you go to school for it before you went to go to piano school or did you do this is what happens if you don't get into piano school i uh so once i uh failed to go to school for piano laurier uh out in waterloo took me in they're like well you can do a general major and i just took film there and then later on you're the very college darn it i was trying to i was trying to think of the line what a general you're the very model of a modern general major general major though i i can't even think of how to twist that around to very model of a general major general man yeah yeah almost okay there we go um uh but then i went back to college after that for editing and effects and then i used the effects software to teach myself animation
Starting point is 00:15:50 so long story short yes i went to school but i will tell anyone you can find anything online and then all you have to do is put stuff online like the reason i started getting jobs was just because i put the stuff that i made online you know and people are like oh so you can do it this podcast we burn cds and we hand them out after concerts and uh yeah we won't put this podcast online we refuse to do it we'll drop you know the show out of an airplane but right i haven't transcribed onto pamphlets and then drop it into a war tower zone and a recording of this is on a golden record out in space
Starting point is 00:16:31 in case I don't come across any aliens and such we broadcast it into people's fillings at the dentist I don't think I've ever heard that as an actual conspiracy i've heard it referenced as like a cuckoo thing to believe but was it was it an actual conspiracy thing or is it i don't think it was a conspiracy i think it was like a uh like oh this guy was here in well you
Starting point is 00:17:00 know just like top 40 radio it is is. You gotta be happy with that. Top 40. It's going to change all the time. Um, so what, uh, what type of activities you get up to? You said you're an outdoorsy person.
Starting point is 00:17:18 Are you a hiker? Are you a kayaker? Those are the two things I know. I am a hiker and I'm new to foraging. Okay. We'll throw out the rest of the show. Mostly, I just like identifying mushrooms. I've never done mushrooms.
Starting point is 00:17:43 Great for people who do, but I've never done them. I just love looking at them. Do you like, do you like eating them? Like the food ones? I do. Yeah. Yeah. They rule.
Starting point is 00:17:55 They do. They rule. It's so crazy how good they are. It's crazy how it's impossible. Like to, it doesn't matter. You know how they, how you, have you heard that like brussels sprouts changed over the years like really 30 years ago there was a different more bitter strain of brussels sprouts and that's why they kind of became more popular now is because there's
Starting point is 00:18:16 a the brussels sprouts we buy now are different than the brussels sprouts that they used to sell oh shit that's okay that's crazy but also i only recently discovered what brussels sprouts look like before they're chopped off of their plant do you guys know they look kind of like well go ahead yeah yeah i described it like a big stick coming out of the ground and then like if you were to like tickle it and it got goosebumps, the Brussels sprouts are the goosebumps. Like that. It's messed up. Good visual. It makes me sick.
Starting point is 00:18:52 But they're very popular now. Like, you know, the cool restaurants will fry you up some. Oh, yeah. With a bit of bacon? Perfect. Yeah, but they didn't. You tell that to someone in the 80s but but i wonder if have mushrooms changed or is it just something that you have to be an adult to like
Starting point is 00:19:10 oh i that's a good question because i definitely hated them when i was a kid but uh there was i was a picky eater there was a lot yeah they're so spongy yeah i like them on pizza i always like them on pizza that's uh that was my gateway to mushrooms yeah but you i hear that a lot yeah you weren't turning down any pizza you you had four roommates underground right yeah uh they were named after uh artists well yeah so i guess in that scenario i'm splinter yeah i guess that's the case cool uh-huh did i ever talk about the on the podcast where i led amanda brooke parent down this path going to new york leonardo leads first of all she was asking about recommendations for uh a pizza place i was like oh there's this great one in brooklyn and four brothers own it and uh and I just like strung her along until
Starting point is 00:20:05 she said what are their names Leonardo Michelangelo Donatello sometimes it doesn't you know they have trouble getting the pizzas made but then Donatello does machines yeah that's right he figures it out at the end yeah then
Starting point is 00:20:23 now on your album you talked about having you have mushrooms in your house like you have i did uh they it was in one of my house plants it was a very hot summer and i guess i watered my plant too much which encourages if there were any spores in there they're going to turn into mushrooms and they did and uh i i maybe i i've read a lot of stuff online where like, oh, you can leave it. It doesn't hurt the plant. And I was just so freaked out that there were mushrooms in my house.
Starting point is 00:20:50 I, it just gave me the creeps. They just popped up overnight. I'm like, no, out of here. And I just, I just threw them away.
Starting point is 00:20:57 Yeah. And that's, and I love mushrooms. I'm like, not in my house. Yeah. Oh, I see.
Starting point is 00:21:01 You've taken up foraging and that means uh you go out and you find stuff right you dig through the dirt and you look up what do you do you just take me on a day uh in the life of a forager sure so i again i'm very new and i haven't uh they say before you eat a mushroom you should be able to correctly identify it three times so if i see like a chanterelle i should be able to find it three times and without mistaking it for a jack-o'-lantern an easy look alike but toxic uh three times so basically what i do is i just go for hikes and i look around and i take pictures of what i find and i try to identify it and i'm just getting used to like well so and then do you ever find and do you have like a reference book that you go with yeah yeah i have a couple a couple books and then there's like apps
Starting point is 00:21:58 and stuff online but they're not that great they're they're they fall for the jack-o'-lantern trick a lot they're like yeah, yeah, it's fine. They do. One time I took a picture of a mushroom and it just said, this is a fungus. I'm like, I know. Establish a better connection.
Starting point is 00:22:14 In the meantime, this is the fungus. Um, the, uh, what is, how do you tell the difference between a jack-o'-lantern and a chanterelle? Okay.
Starting point is 00:22:23 It's the concurrent gills and good start uh whereas one kind of like stops at the stem um uh what else oh the jack-o'-lanterns actually glow in the dark oh yeah but you only notice that after you eat them. When you're tripping balls. Yeah, and you're Spider-Man now. Now I'm just imagining a superhero named Mushroom Man. He's got a big mushroom on his chest. And everyone's like, hey, what's with the dick silhouette? It's actually just Toad from Mario.
Starting point is 00:23:01 He's like, I'm a superhero, I swear. What is Toad's deal? What is he up to? Is mario he's like i'm a superhero i swear what is toad's deal what is he up to is he just mario's friend he's just yeah he runs the races in mario kart i think he's like here we go there's race number right but you can race as him though can't you yes okay yeah he's like a conflict of interest if he's running the races that is true maybe when he's in the race maybe it's wario drops the flag because uh nobody wants to race against wario right am i right i mean i'm yeah i'm brave do you do either of you play mario kart oh yeah what are you the weird thing is sorry to interrupt you. I'm so sorry. I got really excited. Over COVID, I got a Switch.
Starting point is 00:23:51 My brother already had one. And then I went to visit my parents and my mom was like, what's that? And then she bought one. And now every weekend we play Mario Kart over Switch. Like we're all on Zoom and we play Mario Kart just as a family from our difference. So they're in Niagara and my brother's in Sudbury and I'm here and we all play Mario Kart. That's how we bond as a family. Did you play Animal Crossing as well? Yes. That took off during lockdown.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Is that, I've never played that. Is that a foraging game? It is. It's 100 a foraging game it is it's 100 foraging um who do you prefer to play as in mario kart um uh usually i'm shy guy and uh yellow i choose the color yellow but recently i've started going and i can't believe i forget her name but there's a dog is it izzy no there's a dog in Animal Crossing that's yeah yeah yeah I don't know the name either yeah but usually it's Shy Guy yeah what about you guys uh Wario he's okay I love I'll do whatever I like to mix it up I'm playing against uh children so I'm trying to not to blow away. My wife always likes to be Roy.
Starting point is 00:25:06 Who's Roy? I don't know. Just some guy? And then you can customize your car. I have no idea what makes it better or worse. I go for combinations that don't work well together. Yeah. I haven't played a video game in a very long
Starting point is 00:25:26 time but i suspect i would very much like them if i if i did because i remember liking them but i've never gone back and explored that part of my childhood or whatever um you have both of you have systems you dave you play hockey right or you don't anymore or do you i play hockey uh on my xbox i don't know two hours a year it's becoming a bit of a problem i get really excited about it and i forget luba how many hours a day are we talking video games a day honestly these days it's just the time playing with my family on sunday but during lockdown probably an embarrassing amount it was a bad animal crossing really got me got me bad yeah
Starting point is 00:26:23 and those are the only two games I have. I don't have any other games. Yeah. That's oh, you just have Mario cart and animal cross. That's good. What else do you need? Maybe this hockey one.
Starting point is 00:26:32 Dave seems so crazy about. Yeah. Oh boy. Putting in the, putting in the time. Um, yeah, I,
Starting point is 00:26:42 because I know people that spend a certain amount of time every day oh yeah video games and uh i mean is it better than napping maybe not maybe it's just the same as lying there and just staring off into space like i get for me i guess i just feel like i feel guilty if i'm not accomplishing something right what if you're winning at the game? It's fine, but I know that people just use it to relax, and I'm like, well, I can't do that. That's for other people. Relaxing? No, sir.
Starting point is 00:27:14 I could be braising something. Do you ever braise? I never braise, because I don't eat meat, so there's not many things that you can braise. What can you braise vegetable-y wise? Yeah. Actually, here's the thing.
Starting point is 00:27:31 I don't know what braising is. Braising is like slow cooking, isn't it? Okay. Yeah. What's the difference between braising and just roasting? This is an excellent question. I would like to know the answer i think braising uh is like you put it in a liquid uh and like you you you know whatever stock or wine or whatever and onions and then if it's meat you know when you're done braising oh it's falling
Starting point is 00:28:01 off the bone i see okay I see. Okay. Interesting. Because you don't see many people do it on like a chopped or a beat Bobby Flay. Does that would take too long? Yeah. Yeah. Even if they put it in the pressure cooker. Anyways, lots of my knowledge of what cooking is comes from those two programs. And I think the best thing to do is to find four ingredients that you don't think
Starting point is 00:28:25 will go together and then make a mash-up of them is that what uh what show is that that's chopped okay like what four ingredients would not go together like what would they give you oh like last night it was like the dessert round it was like cherries pig's tail some kind of weird exotic liqueur and uh i can't remember what the fourth one was chunk of wood yeah chunk of wood and some people carve that into a spoon and then they're like this was very smart use of the wood um but yeah it's uh it's a funny show i can't get enough of it because everybody's so sure they're going to win. That's my favorite. In the beginning, they're so sure this is going to go their way. And then at the end when they finish, every single person says, well, this loss
Starting point is 00:29:17 is not going to stop me from cooking. As if that was part of the deal that they signed up for. Hey, did your not getting into piano school stop you from playing piano do you still play uh no but i still use those skills does that make sense like if i'm making one of my cartoons i can use garage band and the keyboard on there just go like you know like i can i can play a tune but i don't i like i don't own a piano anymore what's your favorite key g okay just straight straight up g just g yeah yeah nice g good work you guys that was the same note yeah that was g for good yeah That was cheap. For good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:07 No one goes on reality shows. Are there producers who say you have to go in, you have to like give a, talk to the camera and you have to be confident. They won't let you give a statement that's like, hey, win or lose, who cares? Yeah. Yeah. I think after your defeat,
Starting point is 00:30:19 you're allowed to say whatever you want. But yes, before everybody has to say like, I'm ready to slam down in Chinatown or wherever, whatever the theme is for that episode. And but like I say, it's great. A lot of times people cut themselves and then they have to paramedic has to come in and then tape up their wound and put a rubber glove on it. And a lot of times they're like, we can't eat this because you pled in it. OK, is that going to affect me going to the next round yeah oh yeah probably um do you watch any any cooking shows at all luba or any reality tv at all oh okay lots of reality tv most of my cooking reality comes from tiktok
Starting point is 00:31:01 right now okay two good accounts there's uh one called andy cooks and uh there's this chef and he he cooks as he will but i like a lot of the times he's just like uh asking his wife or his girlfriend i'm not sure what the dynamic is but it's just like uh what do you want and she's like i want uh pancakes and's like, yes. And then he like really excitedly makes it. And then he feeds it to her. And she's like, this is always the same reaction. So I was like, mmm. And like, I believe she likes it.
Starting point is 00:31:36 But it's like, if that were me just getting food from a chef every day, I'd be like, fuck, yes. Thank you. Thank you for making this. There's this,'s this good food again um and then what's the other one yeah um it's called men with the pot and you never see their faces and they're always cooking outside in the woods um so it's all these like close-up shots of like throwing meat in the pan and chopping these vegetables and sometimes it gets really like sexual okay they like handle the food which
Starting point is 00:32:13 makes me uncomfortable i'm like nah i just wanted to see food but then they'll like put a chicken down and then like slap it i'm like don't slap it you gotta slap the chicken make some fresh you gotta slap and uh but uh but you know it's a it's a good channel and then they then then they show their dog and then they give some food to the dog and he's just like cool the uh you know who i think the two are daft punk that's why you can't see their face that would be nice i follow a guy i like uh on instagram his name thomas straker and he for for months he was just making different butters like he would just make like uh like truffle butter or like uh some kind of garlic butter and he would just and it's just like you know super fast cutting like super fast editing and it's just like you know super fast cutting
Starting point is 00:33:06 like super fast editing and it's like add ingredient add ingredient the whole thing takes 15 seconds and then he scoops up a big thing of butter throws it on bread or whatever it's fun it's good he did one that was just like fried chicken butter where he just took like the
Starting point is 00:33:22 skin that was all crispy and mix that into butter it was whoa it's something you're i'm never gonna eat but it's just imagine it like imagine it goes imagine you try to make it you're like oh this sucks yeah i have a pound of bad butter yeah but you know you could throw in the raccoon to. I mean, is that what you want to attract more raccoons to your house? Yeah, I had a bag of chips the other day that were supposed to be Kentucky Fried Chicken flavor, and they couldn't have missed the mark more. It just tasted like an everyday kind of chip.
Starting point is 00:34:00 But I had one, and I was like, well, I'm in for this whole bag because they're not going to throw it out. Was it KFC brand? Like, did they back it up? It was Ruffles brand. Ruffles. But it had Colonel Sanders on the page. Yeah, yeah, I see it now.
Starting point is 00:34:15 Because you'd think that they'd provide the spices. Yeah, I see it here on Walmart.ca. Out of stock. Oh, shit. Yeah, they sold out. Okay, yeah. I could see why they would sell out. That's why I bought it out of walmart.ca out of stock. Oh, shit. Yeah, they sold out. Okay. Yeah, I can see why they would sell out. That's why I bought it out of the vending machine.
Starting point is 00:34:29 I was like, this rules. And then it didn't. So, buyer beware. Maybe they didn't sell out. Maybe they're like, ooh, we didn't do it. We did not get that. Yeah, they threw it in a hole,
Starting point is 00:34:43 paved over them. I'm surprised it made it to a vending machine like doesn't don't they usually vending machines are usually like you know perennials you don't usually get a uh a new flavor in a vending machine this vending machine the stuff changes every week and seldom is there a reoccurring item okay i don't know who's filling it or if they just got like a free agent that's just doing whatever products he feels like or she feels like or they feel like i'll ask you off air where you're going to this vending machine because i don't want to blow up your spot thank you i appreciate that
Starting point is 00:35:16 um a couple weeks ago i talked about uh seeing a cake vending machine it's a cake boss version of a of a vending machine and i was like who would ever eat that me of course if i had the time and braveness to eat a cake in the airport but i saw a couple of ladies sharing one and i was like this i i could do it if there's someone else but me sitting there eating cake by myself it's too it's too sad yeah i mean a cupcake though a cupcake but not a whole slice of cake i want to see an ice cream cake vending machine oh my god that would be amazing but also somehow a little more sad because you have to eat the cake very fast yeah fast very fast and it's just like oh
Starting point is 00:36:05 i got this for fun and now i just have a mission where can you get an ice cream cake other than dairy queen oh that's a good question i know in america there's a place called carvel is there do they ever sell them at costco they sell an ice cream cake at costco oh i won't i i don't know i I'm not allowed in there after I did some stuff. What did you do again? I forget. It was something. I was acting out stuff from past guest Matt O'Brien's Twitter account.
Starting point is 00:36:38 He loves Costco. He loves Costco. He's always urinating loudly there. In Halifax, first of all, do you have an Ikea in Halifax? Yes. Okay. All right. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:50 So if you have an Ikea, you must also have a Costco. I feel like Costco's come first and then Ikea's. Or am I wrong? We do have a Costco. I haven't been. I've only been to a Costco once. What? But I feel stuck right now because someone gave me a costco gift
Starting point is 00:37:05 certificate and i can't but you need a membership don't you exactly so i'm stuck yeah we have yeah abby has her mother's membership and her father's eyes uh but we uh uh so she can go but i cannot go oh really so you have to because isn't it like you and a buddy can come in or a kid of yours or something oh you can bring you can go in but i can't like go off on my own oh no that's true yeah i need unless you wear a wig yeah that's true there i remember the only time i went was when our daughter, one of our daughters was very young and we, uh, we were like, you know, you put the kid in a cart, you walk around, they fall asleep. But the floors were so smooth at Costco that they're like, you didn't generate enough kind of vibration to put the kid asleep. And so it was just miserable. Um, yeah, I know people that go to costco for fun that's kind of their fun outing is to go to costco and just look at all the goods do they have samples back the samples
Starting point is 00:38:17 were a big thing yeah yeah well no one knows and is there a food court like Ikea? Is that, do you need to be a member to eat? Oh, they do have, yeah, they have, no, I don't think you need to be a member to eat because they have like dollar hot dogs or something. Yeah. And the guy who founded Costco, he sold it to another company, but he said specifically, if you raise the price of hot dogs, I will come back and kill you. Yeah kill you yeah or was it there's isn't there a similar story with like rotisserie chicken like the rotisserie chicken has to always be five dollars five dollar rotisserie chicken holy shit well that's what they've got to see in the door and then you're suddenly you're gobbling up uh whatever else they're selling there i don't know i'm not allowed to go um yeah so what are you gonna do with this gift certificate lua you got how much is it for Goblin up whatever else they're selling there. I don't know. I'm not allowed to go.
Starting point is 00:39:05 Yeah. So what are you going to do with this gift certificate, Lua? How much is it for? Yeah. It's $100. Oh, shit. You could buy so many ice cream cakes. Yeah. Presumably.
Starting point is 00:39:16 Yeah. You could get a big thing, a laundry detergent. This is what my wife brings home. A four pack of Sensodyne. Nice. Good for our sensitive teeth. I don't know what I'm going to. I think I'm just going to wait it out.
Starting point is 00:39:37 You know? Yeah, see who blinks first. You or Costco. I really don't know. I hope it doesn't expire. I don't know. I don't know what to it doesn't expire i don't know i don't know what to do maybe i can maybe i'll donate it how much is a costco membership i'm gonna look it up how much is oh yeah because maybe you can use it towards a costco membership whoa all the you can carry that's how they get you now that's how they get you. It depends. Do you want to be a gold star member or an executive?
Starting point is 00:40:08 And by the way, which do you think is higher? Oh, yeah. Oh, is it not? Oh, gold star is going to be higher. No, gold star is the bottom of the barrel, the worst. Wow. If you're a gold star member, you suck. What do you get for being an
Starting point is 00:40:25 executive member you get to vote okay you can with both you can shop at all costco locations and online okay that's fair you get two membership cards for you and someone in your household not your daughter who lives in a different city but with the executive you get an annual two percent reward on qualified warehouse online and costco travel purchases oh if you're not you got to go to costco travel you can stay at any costco in the world in their bed section uh you get exclusive offers and additional discounts and you get you receive Costco Connection magazine by mail. Oh, shit. I've definitely been in a doctor's office where that is the magazine sitting on the tables.
Starting point is 00:41:12 Costco Connection. Yeah. I miss journalism. So that's why I subscribe to it. I just want to support all those people who went to journalism school and ended up writing for Costco Connection magazine. Still a gig's a gig dave um yeah i so by the way we didn't give we didn't do prices oh yeah prices yes we gotta know okay gold star stupid gold star sixty dollars a year okay are you disgusted by that amount i am i don't want to pay 60 to go to a store
Starting point is 00:41:49 but then you get 100 free dollars you have this gift card and then i can you i'm one i'm hoping you can use the gift card towards a membership and then you have 40 left over to you know it's walking around money. To kill small business? Yeah. I'm so sorry. I couldn't hold it back anymore. I don't want to go to Costco. I don't like it.
Starting point is 00:42:15 Okay. Well, before you decide. The executive membership. $120 a year. Holy shit. Yeah. yeah wow and you get the magazine mail to your house you don't have to go pick it up yeah now here's a question that i've always wondered oh who's the centerfold this month corn dogs eric from the samples department. Who do you think gets to decide what movie and or TV show is playing on the TVs and the TV section?
Starting point is 00:42:54 Do you think that's the boss is doing that? Or is that from headquarters? Or you don't think the employees are allowed to do it? I feel like you're opening up a conspiracy here. This is something I haven't thought of. Yeah. I feel like for a long time they were always on avatar avatar seemed to be the movie of choice to show off your uh your cool tv but i don't know i've look if i worked in a store that had tvs i'd want to i'd
Starting point is 00:43:18 want to put them on or after hours i for sure would want to put you know something scandalous you're dancing in the rain and stuff like that. Singing in the rain. Singing and dancing in the rain. Well, boy, it's since this episode's coming out, we're recording this live on January 2nd. And so we've all seen the new Avatar at this point. Oh, yeah. What did we think of it? Pretty wild how it predicted exactly what happened on january 1st i'll tell you is that or did it come out oh i guess it wouldn't come out the second
Starting point is 00:43:52 man i blew our cover i don't know when it i don't know when it came out it came out recently but we all saw it everybody that reviewed it said the plot is crap do they say it thickens like no it doesn't think it just it stays at a very thin uh thin kind of paste uh but they say you have to see it in the theater so that's what everybody's gonna do and then he's just gonna make eight more of them yeah i was thinking it would be funny if there was a big long scene where they were like a politician came by and was like hey you navi i hey i support the navi and the navi were like it's actually pronounced navi you've been doing it wrong what yeah that seems like a pretty good sort of like a colorado colorado thing what do you say colorado i don't
Starting point is 00:44:39 know i say colorado or nevada nevada nevada that's what i would say here's a question to bring it back to mario i say mario but a lot of people say mario it is mario everywhere but i think most of canada says mario mario yeah we're weird like that there's pasta pasta pasta, pasta. We get a lot of blowback on that. Yeah. Yeah. And drama. Oh, yeah. Drama, drama. What's, okay, how about this? What is the, what's guacamole made out of?
Starting point is 00:45:16 Avocados. Avocado. Wow. Wow. You better get to know your country, you know? Hey, there's no wrong way to eat a Reese's Dave what's going on with you my friend what's going on with me here's what's going on with me um I uh so a couple weeks ago I was playing hockey not the video game I was playing real life hockey right um but it was something something happened that's going to affect my ability to play the video game oh shit is i uh was skating and i skated very badly and i fell on my on my little butt and as i was bracing myself to fall i uh jammed my finger up into my all the way up my arm
Starting point is 00:46:02 the finger like i lost my finger i had to pull it out of my sleeve like uh no i it hurt very much and i was like oh that's not good uh did it turn black or anything it turned purple okay okay and i got really swollen um not it wasn't my ring finger so i so you can stay married you're still married technically but like yeah if it had it had it been my ring finger i probably would have i probably would have lost it um and then it you know felt pretty bad for a few days and i was like i should see the doctor i'm too busy didn't go see the doctor and as the old finger doing and then finally i was not busy and then i made an appointment with my doctor and they were like okay we can see you in five more days and but at that point it was getting better and i was it was uh i went to the doctor and i
Starting point is 00:46:57 said uh look at this look at this yeah check this out and he was like huh hmm my doctor's very much uh like hey what do you what do you want to do with it what do you want to do about it like last this summer my foot was really bothering me and i and he said uh do you want to get an x-ray and i was like i don't know and he's like no you don't want to get an x-ray if you did you you'd commit to it right now but but then this time so this time he uh he was like okay oh yeah i had bought a splint at the drugstore just to like not bend my finger yeah and he was like oh yeah you don't want to split that so stop splinting that but wearing a splint is so much fun and you get to maybe like push an
Starting point is 00:47:47 elevator button with it it's very super villain to have one finger doing something different than the rest of the hand oh sure check this out yeah exactly dave's doing a thing where you clasp your hands together and wiggle around your middle fingers your middle fingers through it and then open the here's the church, here's the steeple how do you do it?
Starting point is 00:48:14 you do that and then your middle fingers go through oh I see oh yeah I can't do the this though oh wow the oh the the how old do you have to be to do the the unattached thumb for a kid that they would enjoy it or or get it get with the guy how old do the kid have to be or you? How old do you have to be? How old does the kid have to be? You have to be about 75.
Starting point is 00:48:48 A little bit drunk. So I went to the doctor for the finger and I said, look at this. And he's like, okay, wow. What do you call that? Your finger's going to be a star. He said, Cause also I broke I broke my toe a year ago And they were like
Starting point is 00:49:08 The doctor was like Oh what do you wanna do about it You can't do anything about that You can tape it to another toe but Did you What did you hurt your toe doing I forget Um
Starting point is 00:49:17 Walking in my house without Shoes on Mmm Just stubbed it Mega stubbed it But then so I went to the doctor and he was like uh i think it's probably fine you should you this time he didn't even ask do you want to get an x-ray he said you should go get an x-ray yeah i went to get an x-ray and uh it was they it's my
Starting point is 00:49:41 middle finger they made me do this in the x-ray. They made me hold on my middle finger. Fun. That's pretty cool. Yeah. And it was... So they got the results back and my doctor called me up and he said, Well, you have a little fracture in your finger. What do you think?
Starting point is 00:49:58 Do you want to go to the hand clinic? I was like, I don't know. What is the hand clinic? I said, what do you think? And he said, yeah, you should probably go to the hand clinic. He's the endocyphers the cyphers.
Starting point is 00:50:16 Sorry, I blew it. You need to go to the mouth clinic. Do you want to go to the mouth clinic? Are you hitting on me? Louisville, have you ever broken an appendage? Never. Never? Nothing? Never.
Starting point is 00:50:33 Wow. Wow, congratulations. This is my first x-ray, I think, ever. Oh, yeah? Really? Yeah. I don't think I've come... Like, I've broken my toe toe but they can't do anything
Starting point is 00:50:46 about it so they don't bother x-raying it but they do you get it at the oh yeah i have dentist x-rays yeah i guess so but this one it was weird they at this clinic they weren't like put on this lead vest they're just like zapping you yeah um yeah i'm amazed that you've gone through life without not even a like what about a sprain have you ever had a sprain for sure a sprain and i remember um in high school or maybe even elementary school i uh what do you call it oh jammed a finger yeah so i was trying to not even volley a volleyball i was just trying to catch it and it just very lightly but the wrong way tapped the tip of my i guess right hand ring finger oh yeah and i remember being in so much pain that i just fell right to the floor
Starting point is 00:51:38 and someone was like let me help you up and they like pulled my hand and i was like no anyways but that's yeah the worst of it no fair enough so i'm going to the hand clinic tomorrow oh shit okay i'll get i'll update you but i have no idea what are they gonna do i don't know but see if they got costco connections in the waiting room uh the other thing that's going on is i had a or my daughter uh my daughter who's now at the time of this release is six but at the time of the recording is five that's right because christmas eve right christmas eve yeah uh poppy is uh she's had a wiggly tooth for like two months it's crazy how long these teeth hold on when they're wiggly. And yesterday we were driving to school and she noticed that she tasted blood in her mouth.
Starting point is 00:52:36 And then her sister looked at her and she's like, your tooth is sideways. Oh, shit. Okay. oh shit okay and so we were uh and so poppy was like okay i'm not gonna talk the rest of this morning because she really wanted to not lose her tooth before school she wanted to lose it at school oh to be like cool individual like hey you're the one who lost the tooth and if you lose your tooth at school you uh you get a you get to go to the office and get a little uh tooth plastic tooth necklace to keep your tooth safe for the rest of the day oh shit so she had this whole thing planned out
Starting point is 00:53:15 when she said she lost it in like the first five minutes of school so then she got to get this little container yeah well done well done poppy um i don't know if you saw there was people lined up to get uh like a replica of a sky train yesterday yeah that made me think of that like yeah if you got in this lineup you could get this guy train keychain but uh they sold out in like an hour. Why do they always do that? I don't. There's so many things. That should be something, if you want to just get it,
Starting point is 00:53:50 it should be available in vending machines. People shouldn't have to line up for this weird token to get on a public transportation. Yeah. I feel like my vending machine that I frequent is probably going to have them in the next couple of weeks. But I don't want to, again, I don't want to say where it is on the air. Oh, yes.
Starting point is 00:54:11 Yeah. Thank you. But I don't want to blow up your spot. Thank you very much. Look, I have a lot of respect for your spot. But you know what? Tell me where it is. I'll bleep it.
Starting point is 00:54:23 Oh, sure. Yeah. And I've got, you know, like when there's a string of ads or whatever i got some time i'll go to the vending machine and uh chop you know go what are the things i would like to buy what are the things i would not at all ever buy you know you you actually give some thought to the things you'd never buy what are the things you'd never buy in the vending machine like a package of sour candies i don't not a big sour candy guy i wouldn't get those i wouldn't get like uh like a dorito i don't really love doritos so i wouldn't get a dorito i you know what i wouldn't get from a vending machine pretzels yeah that's a good i like pretzels but i don't want a whole bag of them yeah that's true
Starting point is 00:55:06 that's very true huh what about you luba what would something like what's your favorite favorite thing that you've ever gotten out of a vending machine because like for a long time it was my thing where the bottle like the coke bottle would go on the little conveyor belt and then drop down i thought that was the best thing i've ever seen oh yeah i for me my uh gobstoppers you remember gobstoppers i used to get gobstoppers out of a vending machine wow the worst the worst thing i could ever get would be a sandwich oh yeah yeah i can't do i can't do that. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:46 At that point you should just eat candy. If you're eating a sandwich out of a vending machine. There's no nutrients left. No. Oh yeah. Oh I know. What do they call that? An automat that is like those old timey.
Starting point is 00:56:01 Like where there's just a bunch of them kind of thing? Yeah. A bunch of of prepared foods. Yeah. Like a pumpkin pie and a apple pie. That sounds delicious. Ice cream cake. Ice cream cake.
Starting point is 00:56:14 But yeah, a sandwich. If I'm ever buying a sandwich at a store, I need to see the date it was prepared on. Yeah. That's true. It needs to have been prepared within the last three months or i'm not eating it and i don't know why but whenever i see a sandwich in like saran wrap it doesn't matter what kind of sandwich it is i just picture it being i can it's tuna it could
Starting point is 00:56:35 be a ham sandwich but to me it's tuna i don't know why it's a mental thing if it's in saran wrap it's gonna be it's tuna there's a sandwich place near where I work that has it's not good but they have a display case do you want to mention it or do you not want to I'll say it and I'll bleep it it's called
Starting point is 00:56:56 okay okay and it's I just like giving myself more editing to do and it's they have like a display case, but everything that they sell, they end up just putting in a panini press. Oh, okay. And so it's like, oh, it's a beautiful like croissant sandwich and it's like big and puffy and then they just cram it all down. yeah eating a cold sandwich is like i feel like that's a thing that i wouldn't i would hope never to do but maybe i've done it with egg salad before anyways i i've never done you've never i've never bought a cold sandwich no really i bought one today and uh how was it was it pretty
Starting point is 00:57:40 good it was too cold my teeth are really sensitive i need some of that toothpaste graham what's going on with you i in the past week traveled from vancouver to toronto for one day and then flew back so i was there for about maybe say like 56 hours i was there and uh what a what a trip wait wait wait wait no you weren't one day it was 56 hours no they're flying there and flying back right there's uh well that was there then there for 46 hours and then another night two five hour flights wow there's travel time in their day uh well i don't think it's i i want you to go show me your calendar uh oh yes i will send you my calendar okay um anyways i was there for very very short period of time to do uh uh like a corporate event thing you're so corporate these
Starting point is 00:58:40 days you're like you're mr suit and tie yeah was it costco it was costco i didn't want to bring it up after all this talk of it um this was a reward for executive members yes that's right with the anybody who'd purchased the kirkland pass which is the gold gold gold standard uh you need to get this you need to get their app yes and then you get in the lightning lane and then you can go past everyone else all the gold stars um well two things happen first of all at the airport i the exact thing like you're saying lightning lane trusted passengers or whatever they're called they get through nexus their line was stalled because it was being very very slow in the machine and a bunch of us got through in the time that they
Starting point is 00:59:29 were waiting for and so that felt pretty good that felt pretty good like hey one for us one for the average sometimes sometimes at the border uh crossing the border there's like a big lineup for the nexus lane yeah and then but there's no one in the other lines and it's like huh you guys could have just not gone in the fast lane oh yeah you're just showing off you love your status um and uh this the place that i stayed was the door looked like it had been kicked down and uh like and i'm not exaggerating i have a photo of it was this a hotel or airbnb or this was a was a hotel uh that i can't even remember the name of it was the something in and uh yeah it's there was a scrape like scrape marks all over the wall
Starting point is 01:00:19 and one of the elevators had the like brown padding that you use for like moving day or whatever sure it's just hanging in there elevator yeah like then we're not gonna put it up and take it down every time somebody moves we'll just leave it up and uh the elevator was weird and uh the the it was like staying in an airbnb but it was a hotel like it looked like a and kind of felt like a place that nobody's ever had a weird roommate in your room. Yeah. Well, he wasn't that weird. He was just doing weird stuff.
Starting point is 01:00:49 He was actually a really normal guy, but he was like talking to his goldfish. Yeah. Music was coming out of his mouth. So it's called singing, Graham. Thank you. So I went and stayed in the hotel and then when i was flying i did something very stupid uh where you know like sometimes they say well we'll check your bag for free because there's not enough room on the flight for all the bags yeah we'll lose your bag for free i don't know why i decided to do it there's literally no
Starting point is 01:01:27 advantage you get you have to drop it off right before the plane and then get on so you're carrying that bag to to term and uh it's not a premature bag and then you just have to wait on the other end for your bag to come out so why do they why did they do that and what was your bag like a backpack it was uh it was a bag that most of the bag was just a jacket that i brought a warm jacket because they didn't want to wear that at the airport yeah because i don't want anybody to think i'm from the matrix or or a shooter of some kind. So yeah, I did that. It was very stupid. Stayed in this freaky hotel. Oh,
Starting point is 01:02:07 in the hotel, there was, there was one TV and you had to be sitting at the dining room table to see it. The couch was way off in the corner and you couldn't see the TV from the couch. So anyways, I would recommend any of the ins in downtown Toronto.
Starting point is 01:02:23 Any of the kicked in ins. Oh, and then I asked the guy at the desk. He was checking me in, and I said, oh, is there a hotel bar around here? And he was like, I wish. So I said, where is the closest good restaurant? He said, you've got to go to whatever. It's like McGruffins. McGruff where is the like closest good uh restaurant he said you gotta go to whatever it's like mcgruffins mcgruffins is the best it's young crowd they're great and it was the it was the worst pub i think i've ever been at his his idea of what good is has been skewed so much by this hotel that he thinks well what did you not like about this pub the bartender ignored me and then
Starting point is 01:03:05 when she finally did come over i asked her about a lager and she seemed annoyed at that and then she poured the drink and i said can i move over to a table because i was sitting at the end of the bar and it sucked and she was like well yeah that means i have to change your check or something like that yeah and i was like yeah that's fine and then but she was upset about it so then i sat at the table came over it was busy because i feel like there was no other bar in that uh part of toronto so everybody was at mcguffin well they've all been put out of business by this one that's the best i'm thrown that you were at an inn and went to a pub in toronto that's yeah are you sure that's where you were were you not in the shire yeah oh no i was on the moors that's what i was on
Starting point is 01:03:53 um so yeah anyways uh if in toronto gotta go to mcguffin's some of the some of the saltiest service in town and uh How was the show? You haven't done a show like that in quite a while. No, the show was good. That was the one thing that actually went well. It went well, and then everything else was kind of janky. Up to and including me checking my bag for no reason whatsoever. How long was your set? 20 minutes.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Were you the only comedian? Yeah. I was the only comedian. I was put on display like an animal and were you was there any other entertainment were you in between uh pub trivia and uh pinata okay this corporate was for mcguffins so i just want to say it uh there was a singer there was also a singer on the show. Oh, sure. He sang some Christmas carols. Oh, Michael Buble.
Starting point is 01:04:48 Michael Buble was there. And we had a fun interaction where I called it bubbly. And he said, no, leave me alone. This is a fun interaction. Actually, I don't like you. Please stop calling me that. So that's what's going on with me do you guys want to move on to some overheards?
Starting point is 01:05:09 sure my fellow graduates for 500 episodes my podcast the JV club with Janet Varney has gathered story after story of all the scandalous things we've done throughout our childhoods
Starting point is 01:05:22 stories like how Jamila Jamil survived a horrific house party and she was on crutches. This is great. Or how Hal Lublin learned a Shakespearean monologue in his pajamas. This is not the speech we approve. Without your love and life tragedies, there would be no podcast. In fact, I'll have an exclusive look at how Maggie Lawson's mom confronted her after a sneaky basement meetup with her crush.
Starting point is 01:05:45 Spill the tea, JV. Security! Listen to The JV Club with Janet Varney Thursdays on Maximum Fun! Class of... Forever! Hey, that's Ben. And that's Adam. And together we host a show called Greatest Trek on Maximum Fun that covers all of the new Star Trek shows.
Starting point is 01:06:06 Lower Decks, Strange New Worlds, Picard, Prodigy, Discovery, and any other Star Trek show Paramount throws at us. Come check it out for our funny and formative recaps of all the new stuff this Star Trek industrial complex churns out. It's in your podcatcher every Tuesday.
Starting point is 01:06:22 Subscribe to Greatest Trek. It's a new Star Trek podcast from the makers of The Greatest Generation. Overheard. Overheard. When you hear them, bring them here. We'll make a good home for them. Now, we always like to start with the guest. Luba, do you have an overheard that you would be willing to share?
Starting point is 01:06:45 I do. That's good musical. Was that G? What was that? That was D. Anyways. I'm very excited for this because it happened literally just like a week ago and i i once i heard it i was very excited i went to the library and uh which is ironically a very good place to
Starting point is 01:07:14 overhear conversations oh yeah yeah yeah and uh there uh were these two uh seemingly normal women and uh i sat down and everything was pretty quiet. They were pretty normal volume. And then one of them just says, she's doing this all because he has a big cock. And it wasn't like Sex and the City, like, all because he has a big cock. No, it was like disgruntled. It's ruining our lives. All because he has a big cock.
Starting point is 01:07:43 No, it was like disgruntled angry. It's ruining our lives. And all this because of his big cock. Oh my God. She's freaking building the Taj Mahal for this dude. You're right though. Libraries are a rich vein for overheards because everybody's being so quiet. You know what else has a rich vein? This man from Jacket to Cock.
Starting point is 01:08:12 He built a kielbasa statue to this guy. Yeah, and was it, did you say the age of these people? Or were you able to see what age we're talking about? I would say, like, mid-40s. Okay, okay. When you get that age, you'll understand. She was mad. um she was yes she was mad i mean i would be mad if you weren't returning calls or something because you were so busy with
Starting point is 01:08:50 this man's uh gigantic wiener but but otherwise why would you be offended at all you know it's perfectly natural and it's really kind of it's it would be annoying if you're like we had plans but now she's doing all this oh oh my god sorry what happened just knocked a box off of the island oh no no reason hey did you overhear that yeah did you yeah that was my cat maybe the cat was like that guy's large cock is ruining my life because i'm not getting any attention right now now what's your plan here you're gonna put the box back up on the the island because the cat's only gonna do it again exactly it's on my lap now and that's
Starting point is 01:09:34 don't put the box back i wanted to have it i a oh it's a it's a cardboard box what what uh like was it for was it a package in the mail was it a food was the pizza box that's a cardboard box yeah keep going okay uh something from amazon i'm picturing um some sort of it's not a fun frame we're not gonna see it so let this is gonna be my official box with a huge okay that's what i'm assuming that's what we're all assuming now as soon as you heard that you're like hi i got something to add to my shopping list i am a costco member now and they only serve them in you know big sizes You're like, hi, I got something to add to my shopping list. I am a Costco member now, and they only serve them in big sizes.
Starting point is 01:10:30 Yeah. I like it. Buying in bulk, if you know what I mean. I do. I'm picturing that your box has a scrub brush in it. That's my guess. Official scrub brush. I'm guessing it was a shoe box. love shoes true true luba i'm guessing you and you were using the shoe box you would cut it up
Starting point is 01:10:53 you were making a diorama of uh i want to say uh are you there god it's me, Margaret. That's pretty good. Yeah. Luva, which one of us is correct? Or at least closer? Yeah, it was just close. It was like online order close. So yeah, she was his closest. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:11:14 Okay. Okay. Yeah. Dave, do you have one over? Yes, I do. Sort of. No, not really. I was at Sort of. No, not really. I was at a school. I was waiting outside the school for the teacher to come and collect the children and bring them into the school.
Starting point is 01:11:36 And two boys were walking by me, about 12. Let's call them grade 7s. Oh, shit. Okay. And I just heard this little snippet and one of them said so I called and I accidentally said I was him and the other kid said
Starting point is 01:11:52 accidentally like you just pretended to be someone else by accident yeah well that's true yeah also who are these kids calling yeah I was surprised to hear that children are these kids calling yeah i was surprised to hear that children are calling people yeah yeah do they dave do that that age of kid have an iphone or something like that
Starting point is 01:12:16 or yeah what like a 12 year old maybe yeah okay my children do not okay but i don't think any children in their classes would either right although maybe kids who have like daycare kids kids who like right to get a hold of their parents yeah and also gives them something to do at daycare so that the one person running it doesn't have to do anything yeah but um yeah like i was actually my kids don't even know my phone number like i was trying to teach them i was like hey if you're ever over here like i was at their grandparents house if you're ever over here call me let's practice using the phone like i was trying to teach them how to use a landline to call me a skill that will serve them well for the rest of their lives like there's a yeah a few years where you might
Starting point is 01:13:13 need to use a landline before you have your own phone yeah and it might be a disaster when you're using it so uh and oh my god like in a lot of cases, you're going to need to dial nine. That's true. Hotels and whatnot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. An officer, if you're ever at the, you know, if you're ever being, meeting with your lawyer.
Starting point is 01:13:39 Do, Luba, did you, when were you, what age were you when you got a phone? 20. 20. Okay. You went a full, full full growing up no phone well they didn't yeah it wasn't a thing yeah that's yeah also graham how old were you when you got your first cell phone i got one in i think when i was 17 it was like a flip phone very very old school. Oh my. And that was my mom's way of tracking my whereabouts was calling this phone and asking where I was. I think I was 21. Okay. All right.
Starting point is 01:14:15 And it was, it was 2002. I had just gotten back from a trip to Europe and everyone there was texting each other. And I was like, like huh no one texts in north america as far as i know no one i know has a phone would text me yeah and still no one ever has this flip phone would never would never text it's a it was only numbers it was a phone only there's no games not there wasn't even a screen it was just buttons and phone so anyways i'm pretty cool for my age i guess yeah um my yes go overheard yeah i got an overheard it's an overseen from one of my flights my seat mate was uh was getting into the plane kind of late and uh he got all the way there but
Starting point is 01:15:01 all the bins were full were you so excited were you Were you like, oh, it hasn't showed up. I hope he has. I hope he's going to miss this flight. Yeah, I was very excited that it wasn't going to fill up. And you know who really likes being filled up? That lady from the library. Yeah. Anyways, he was so.itated and he he like saw all the bins were closed and then he sat down
Starting point is 01:15:37 he didn't want to put his he couldn't put his bag under the seat in front of him so he just left it in the aisle he said fine i'll let them figure it out and then like literally let's say 10 seconds later he picked it up and walked it over to a bin in some tough talk but that's all his bark was worse than his bite um um and this is the kind of person you you made room for him by putting your, by checking your bag. That's right. Yeah. That's, yeah. Now that you say it like that, it pisses me off that I, shit. I accidentally enabled this guy. Anyways, we're friends and we keep in touch. Now we also have overheards sent in by people all over the place.
Starting point is 01:16:22 If you want to send one in, you can send it to spy at maximumfund.org. And this first one comes from Sheila. Abby's aunt Sheila. Hi, Sheila. Abby's uncle, Magnus, said a sentence out loud to no one in particular that I've never thought ate over here, especially in my own home. Ugh, we've already seen this episode of Rizzoli and Isles. I've never seen it. So I know my impression is that they're amateur detectives that go.
Starting point is 01:16:58 So I think they might be professionals. Oh, OK. But I don't know. I don't know. That was one that like I don't even think we had it in canada when it was people were making fun of it in america yeah it was what they had it in sweden apparently yeah it's a angie harman joint is it an angie harman and another lady another lady uh when you when you mentioned magn, you should have seen Luba Magnus' eyebrows go up. That's mine!
Starting point is 01:17:33 You ever seen Rosalia and or Isles or them together as the titular show? No. No? I don't know what it was. Dave, is it them being professional detectives? Are they lawyers? Well, I am, yeah, it was on the same channel that had like suits and burn notice. Yes.
Starting point is 01:17:58 And a bunch of these shows that were like, like. Yeah, and was it a network like kick or something like that? Like some weird. It was kick. We're a network. we're a soft drink Rizzoli and Isles An American crime drama television series Starring Angie Harmon as Jane Rizzoli
Starting point is 01:18:19 Yup And Sasha Alexander as Maura Isles Sasha Alexander That Mora. Isles. Uh-huh. Ooh, Sasha Alexander. That's, uh, um, redundant. I don't understand.
Starting point is 01:18:35 Sasha is Russian for Alexander. I think, I think this is pretty, uh, well established. Yeah. That's true. We didn't, we didn't talk about our mutual Russian history. Um, now we also... Based on... It's based on Rizzoli and Isles. Oh, shit.
Starting point is 01:18:49 Okay. It's a... By Tess Gerritsen, an American novelist. Oh, okay. It was a novel. Cool. Now, we have another one here. This one comes from Jessica from Vancouver.
Starting point is 01:19:06 My husband and I were walking on Main Street we saw a lost looking walking on main street with my foot and feel it on and off of bill yeah that's wrong actually i would be good walking on main street walking with my feet near ryan bill that's good that's good yeah um my husband and i were walking on main street and we saw a lost looking woman on our phone at a street corner and we overheard her say wait do you mean church's chicken or the other church like a religious church oh no maybe a church this is not a good either way it's not a good second date yeah oh man also it would be several churches if it's yeah that's true she's church hopping
Starting point is 01:19:57 church shopping yeah there was a uh an area on fraser street a few years ago. There was a church's chicken across from, like, I think it was a corner that had three churches and one church's chicken. Really? Yeah. Delicious. But that church's chicken is now an enterprise rent-a-car. Ah, shit. I bet it still smells like chicken, though. And those churches are now satanic burning areas. They's still churches, but not
Starting point is 01:20:26 in the sense that... No, they're community centers. Satanic community centers. Yeah. This last one comes from Jocelyn. I was walking my dog past an elementary school during recess and I happened to tune in to a few kids chatting. Kid 1,
Starting point is 01:20:44 I'm only allowed G-rated movies at my house, not even PG-13s. Kid 2, I've seen an R-rated movie. Kid 1, which one? And the kid 2 said collateral. And kid 1 said, ooh.
Starting point is 01:21:01 That's Jamie Foxx and Tom Cruise? Yep, and I feel like Jamie Foxx is a cab driver in it And Tom Cruise Is a blonde man Yeah he's some sort of assassin or something A real result I saw it in the movie theater and I don't really remember much about it
Starting point is 01:21:18 Do you have that Ever happen where you watch a movie and then the next day You're like what the hell movie was I watching Or what the hell happened in that movie If you had to choose for the rest movie was I watching? Or what the hell happened in that movie? If you had to choose for the rest of your life, you could only see Tom Cruise or Tom Hanks movies. Whoa.
Starting point is 01:21:34 This is big. Oh, Tom. Well, big is one of them. Huh. You're Tom Hanks? Oh, yeah. How come? No question. just because you like the movies more uh yeah i'm not much of a you see one tom cruise you've seen them all i think yeah that's not true he's got but yeah tom hanks yeah i'm leaning toward tom hanks but only if i can have a cocktail
Starting point is 01:22:03 from tom cruise's catalog as well. Oh, you can maybe, well, you have to trade in Philadelphia. I was going to say Turner and Hooch, but no way. I'm keeping that one. That's hilarious. Yeah. I'm Tom Hanks all the way. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:20 Okay. I honestly, like, there was a time when I thought, maybe I'll watch every Tom Hanks movie. And? I didn't. But I watched a lot that I was like, huh, I don't really, there's a lot of movies where I was like, I don't know if I want to see this. I love Tom Hanks, though. Yeah. So I saw like Sully and Captain Phillips and Bridge of, not Bridge of Spies, was that the one?
Starting point is 01:22:45 And The Post. A lot of latter day ones. Yeah. I've seen Collateral. Oh, no. Not Collateral. Captain Phillips more than once. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:22:56 For some reason. Maybe it was just on a channel or something. Anyways. Yeah, it was definitely on a channel. Yeah. I haven't seen it. You haven't seen it? No't seen it no luba you gotta you gotta find out who the captain is now yeah that's that one i'm the it's the i'm the
Starting point is 01:23:12 captain now movie it's not a joyful movie no but there's it's um it's dynamic it's uh it's easy to re-watch um okay does that make any sense like it's just i don't know if it's dynamic i feel like it's all on a boat it's all pretty much just stagnant interesting in addition to overhears that are written in we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. Spy pod one, like these people have. Hey, guys. Just wanted to call in and overheard.
Starting point is 01:23:52 I was in the barber's chair and sat down. And a little while later, an older man in another chair, I heard him say to the barber, so it turns out my eyeball is shrinking. And my doctor says that it might just fall out. And that doesn't always happen, but it could happen, so I'm supposed to watch for that. And the barber just goes,
Starting point is 01:24:23 uh-huh, okay, have a good one one but if that guy's eye falls out at school they get a little eye container that is what yeah what the hell like i i've never heard of that that's i mean i'm sure it's possible and i don't mean to make fun of a guy who might have that habit to him. But what? Your eyeball's shrinking and it's going to fall out? What a fun party trick. Yeah. Oh, that would be fun. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:24:52 Yeah. When everybody's trying to top one another, like with a weird arm or something. Yeah. Oh, they think it's going to fall out someday. Oh, oh, what is it? Now? Yeah, he's really setting it up. He's like, of course my eyeball's not shrinking it's never
Starting point is 01:25:07 gonna fall out but i like to keep people on their toes so i can do my big closer or you know he if he gets in a fight with some like an argument he can just pop it out and be like argument over my eye fell out so i gotta go take care of them. Yeah. Because they're still attached, right? Or is that, like, not true about eyeballs? Oh, Jesus. Sorry. I mean, like, I know when a pretty lady walks by, they kind of, they really, they pop out of my head. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:25:35 And I have to stuff them back in. But they're not shrinking. They're growing. Yeah, yeah. That's it. But yeah, the doctor says it might fall out. Well, does it still work if it's shrinking i guess it must be uh because when you just get it taken out or like at least wear a
Starting point is 01:25:52 patch yeah something to just keep it in that's right yeah just a band-aid across your eye all right sorry about that here we go next phone call. Hello, Dave and Graham and guests. This is Andy from Brooklyn calling in as an overheard. I teach an introductory arts class at one of the local colleges and I had my students give final presentations on
Starting point is 01:26:18 what they thought the purpose of art was and one student began his presentation by saying, art is for entertainment. That's it. That's the end of the road for art. Okay. That's how he started.
Starting point is 01:26:39 Yeah. That is the end of the road. This is also the timing of this with the whole AI thing. Yeah. It might be at the end of the road this is also the timing of this with the whole ai thing it's yeah it might be at the end of the road for arty it's for entertainment that's it end of the road from from uh michelangelo to tlc these are all just for entertainment i mean there were a and e the channel used to be i i don't know if it still stands for arts and entertainment and it i remember when we first got it in the early 90s it was like symphonies and stuff it was yeah and it had uh uh biography was always on yeah what's the biography of uh
Starting point is 01:27:21 and what what is a and e now is it just like home repairs and wife swapping or something yeah it's yeah exactly uh maybe it's where the housewives shows reside or no that bravo i think that's bravo you say bravo or bravo oh bravo bravo i say it i say bravo. I say it really sarcastically. Bravo. Bravo, yes. What's on Annie? Let me just look up. I know I'll get you out of here any second now,
Starting point is 01:27:59 but I really need top shows on Annie. Okay. What if it was still biography after all these years? We've been missing out boy i wanted to say they have no i'm thinking tvo never mind sorry what's tvo isn't tvo that's an ontario channel isn't it isn't that like oh gosh i had no idea things it's weird stuff that you think is canada wide and it's not okay here's when i just uh you know how google will just like give you the uh a brief like 10 things they hate about you uh google has just when i looked up top a and e show most popular number one neighborhood wars number two customer wars number three Number one, Neighborhood Wars Number two, Customer Wars
Starting point is 01:28:45 Number three, you guessed it, Biography Oh really? It's the Biography, cool I bet you can find out about the life of Ashton Kutcher They probably do one on him Apparently there's also The First 48, Duck Dynasty, and Longmire Oh, Leah Remini there's also the first 48 duck dynasty and longmire oh oh leah remini do you say leah remini or leah ramini scientology in the aftermath oh yes old case files okay yeah that's what this is yeah it's a lot of true crime here we go final bad boy hi d Hi, Dave, Graham, and Gus.
Starting point is 01:29:26 This is Jessalyn calling in with an overheard from Capitola, California. I was at a bakery the other day and saw a man ask the woman behind the counter, can I have that gingerbread cookie? And the woman said, you mean that gingerbread man? Anyways, off I go. They're not, what did you call them before? They're not ginger vigils over there. Ginger vigils, yeah.
Starting point is 01:29:49 Yeah, but I mean, if it's shaped like a human, then you can't just say it's a cookie. That's insane. Yeah, that gingerbread person, that ginger, boy. I wonder if it's related to my gingivitis. Yeah, well. Ginger vigils. Well, you ginger vigils,
Starting point is 01:30:05 you gotta, you gotta make use of that four pack of Sensodyne somehow. That's right. Rub it on my gums. Well, yeah, that's the end of this here episode. Time to saddle up and headed into the West.
Starting point is 01:30:19 Uh, Luva, thank you so much for being our guest. Thank you for having me. This has been a delight. Back at you. This is is great and where people can listen to your album on all the streaming services
Starting point is 01:30:31 it's called Baba Luba Baba Luba B-A-B-A space L-U-B-A important to put the space there very important it's a very funny album I saw it's on very funny album i saw it's on a few year end lists so yeah congratulations yeah that's right we're now into the new year and people you know we want to get rid of all the last year's stuff that's right and we want to
Starting point is 01:30:57 reset that best of to one i bet you nobody in january makes the i think like they're like oh yeah anything from september on this is where we'll pick this from. Um, but that's on Alison doors, uh, record label. Yes, it is howling roar.
Starting point is 01:31:12 Yeah. Um, I love Alison. She's great. Yeah. She's fantastic. Um, and thank you folks out there for listening to the show.
Starting point is 01:31:21 If you see any cookies shaped like anything except a cookie, make sure to ask before you order for it. And, uh cookies shaped like anything except a cookie, make sure to ask before you order for it. Cookies shaped like anything except a cookie? Yeah, like an arrow or a square looks like, you know, like a cookie's, I think we can all agree. Round, right? Yeah, okay, sure. So any other shape is a nomination. Sorry, pardon me. But thank you, all you people you people for listening make sure to buy our brand new nfts that we're selling in all of 2023 they're over there for sale in a weird vending machine
Starting point is 01:31:55 you'll never find and come on back next week next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.

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