Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 78

Episode Date: September 1, 2009

No guest this week as we talk about Quentin Tarantino, house parties, and Oprah's Favorite Things.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 78 of Stop Podcasting Show. 78, the spot on the periodic table dominated by platinum. Oh, is it really? It is.

I thought you were going to go with revolutions per minute. Oh, 78, yeah, yeah. The popular record speed. No, then this is going to be a platinum show. That's my guarantee to you. And it's going to be best played at 78 RPMs. Wow, like a platinum record. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Is that where 78 comes from? I don't know. Did they come up with the periodic table number first? I'm going to say yes. Because you can't fake the revolutions per minute. That's true. Oh, yeah. It's just a fun coinkydink. Wow. I hope that nobody's mind

is blown open too wide right off the top. If so. Put it back together. Take a nap. My name is Graham Clark and joining me is a man who, if he lived in the time of records, surely would have scored at least a platinum, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, sure I would. But, you know, people don't buy albums anymore, and thus I'm relegated to podcasting. Yeah.

That's, yeah. If KISS were forming today, they would be doing podcasts. I don't know. If four non-blondes were alive today. And we're guestless today. It's just me and Dave and... A song. A song.

Some listener overheards, maybe. And that's just the way it boiled down today. But it's been a while since it was just you and I. It's been about 12 weeks. Yeah. So this is good. It's good. It's like a while since it was just you and i it's been about 12 weeks yeah so this is good it's good let's you know it's like a refresher it's like when those couples go away on a retreat and they have an orgy yeah yeah yeah well we'll put our keys in a in a basket a can yeah paint can a pink in a pink paint can yeah and it'll come out and it'll be ruined because they'll be covered in paint and then everybody fucks in the woods because they can't get back into their house.

Yeah. Do you want to get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. So, Dave, what's going on? You and I both saw movies this weekend. You and I both. But not together.

Un-separately. Uh-huh. We saw one together last weekend. Unseparately. We saw one together last weekend. Seperodad. Is it Seperodad already? Is it the fifth of Seperodad? The only thing I know in Spanish is the words that end in L-Y. No, wait, no. Feliz Seperodad.

I'm thinking of University Dad. T-Y. Separate T. We saw these movies. T-Y. Separate T. We saw these movies separate T. Separate T. You went and saw a big popular blockbuster movie. Yeah, I made it a blockbuster night. You went and saw Inglourious Bastards.

Yeah. Do you want to talk about that or do you want to introduce your movie? Oh, my movie. I went and saw one called In the Loop, is a and a kind of a more of a festival type movie right your art house yeah your art house probably probably a lot bigger in britain because it's mostly british based but how was inglorious bastards well i don't know if you if you knew this but they misspelled the title yeah and i don't know is that because there was already a movie called inglorious bastards I don't know if you knew this, but they misspelled the title. Yeah, and I don't know, is that because there was already a movie called Inglorious Bastards? I don't know why.

I just, it was obnoxious of them to do that. And by them, I mean Quentin Tarantino. Quentin Tarantino, yeah. I say them because I don't want to. The royal them. Yeah, I don't want to. It doesn't matter if Quentin Tarantino is a man or a woman. That's right.

You want to be inclusive. I know he's a man, but for the purposes of this argument. If you're big enough to be my baby, it don't matter, etc., etc. Sure. Yeah, it was a good movie. It was a good movie. Yeah. People are saying it was terrible or it was the greatest thing he's ever done.

Who's saying it's terrible? Big fans of Quentin Tarantino, probably. Yeah. Like people who like Pulp a lot i guess it was neither uh terrible nor the greatest thing he's ever done that of course was death proof um did you have you seen death proof is it good uh it's not terrible oh it's got the you know how he does the terrible dialogue yeah yeah he does that well like it's not necessarily terrible dialogue but it's just like oh no one really talks like this

yeah he um i think with quentin tarantino that maybe you could say the worst thing is that like none of his movies are bad to like unwatchable bad like he's never made anything that's not at least fun to watch. Yeah. But there's varying degrees of that, I guess. So where... On a scale, let's say... What's your favorite Quentin Tarantino movie? My favorite is Reservoir Dogs. Yeah, I'd say

me too, probably. Because it's nice and short. Yeah, say that's at the top. If Reservoir Dogs is the top and say that... What'd you say? Death Proof? Sure. Or have you seen Jackie Brown?

I haven't seen it. Yeah, I like Jackie Brown. It's got some very funny stuff. It's got some really good acting in it. It's not like the same paces as other things. But I would say Death Proof. I haven't seen Death Proof. But from what I hear, that would be on the lower end of the scale.

Is there anything that he's done that's considered kind of worse than that? I don't know. Some people didn't like Kill Bill. Nah, I don't care. Yeah, okay. So where would this place? Would this place hire up Reservoir Dogs? Yeah, I kind of think, yeah, I don't know.

Because now that you bring up the other ones, I'm not that big of a fan of his. Oh, okay. So you're just like, I like this one. I casually watch the other ones. I don't really like Reservoir Dogs a ton. I think I liked it a lot when I was a teenager. I think it meant a lot to me when I was a... Yeah.

I like the way he writes women in it. He writes women. Did I say that right? Yeah. Well, I hope that's what you mean. There are no women in that movie, yes? Correct. But yeah, this one, it's good. There's like, I don't know, like ten scenes in the whole movie.

They're long scenes. I heard that there's a lot of subtitles, and that's something that they really don't let on to in the preview oh in the previews you get the feeling that it's actually about these inglorious bastards uh yeah is it not uh yeah it is but the like you meet three of them right and then five of them get one line each in the whole movie. Is B.J. Novak one of the guys that gets one line? He maybe gets four lines. Okay.

So less about the thing that you go to see the movie for. Yeah, less about the preview. More about some other thing. More about there's the one scene with the woman putting the red paint on her face. Yeah, more about that. About makeup application? Well, she applies the makeup to her face, and then you never see it on her face again. It's a weird choice.

But there's one scene, Mike Myers... I heard about this. He plays like an English general or something. Yeah, he plays like a 60-year-old English general. Believable? As believable or more believable than the Love Guru? Go. I can't comment. I haven't seen it. No! But

distracting. Really? Because you're like, that's Mike Myers. That's Mike Myers. Why didn't they get a capable actor? An old English actor, perhaps. Is this distracting me on purpose, or is this an homage to some stupid thing that Quentin Tarantino likes but no one else ever likes? Quentin Tarantino likes terrible things. I don't...

That's a good question, because I read an interview. This is how it happened, from the interview that i read is that mike myers approached quentin tarantino and said if there's ever any role in any movie that i can have like even a small role i'd love to be in one of your movies and that was quentin tarantino shoehorning mike myers into a movie because he but it wasn't quentin tarantino going oh you know who'd be perfect for this that guy from wayne's world would be the perfect wayne no give me garth and garth turned it down um yeah so then yeah that's why he's in it but there's no other like there's no artistic reason yeah there's no reason to have a minute no no no i'm as a guy who. Yeah, there's no reason to have him in it. No. No. No, as a guy who's seen it, there's no reason to have him in it.

At all. At all. Didn't make anything good. Made things worse. Didn't make things worse. Just was, like, very distracting. Like, oh, why? I'm watching Mike Myers.

I'm watching Mike Myers. Oh, he's such a big star. He'll be in the rest of the movie. He's not. There was another movie like that that Mike Myers was in about Studio I think it was called Studio 54. Oh yeah. Or 54. It was about the stand-up comedy

show on Canadian television. Comedy at Club 54. But yeah he was the guy who owned the nightclub and was I guess like a drug addict or whatever. And a weird sex fiend. But it came out in between

two Austin Powers movies and it was super distracting. Because I saw the movie and the whole time you're just like, oh, that's Mike Myers. There's Mike Myers again. Yeah, and it's kind of that thing where I make these crazy characters. Can I make a character who's just as crazy in a dramatic role?

Yeah, the answer's probably not. No, I didn't see the movie. Oh, yeah, no. In that movie, he was fine because that character was super eccentric. But it was just like, well, maybe. I don't know. I don't know if there's such a vacuous space in the dramatic actor category that we need our comedic actors to make the jump. Robin Williams certainly thinks so.

Oh, yeah. He's in a new Bobcat Goldwaif movie. Thwaite. Goldwaite? Gold Thwaite. Thwaite. Isn't that weird that Bob... He's worth his Thwaite. Goldthwaite? Goldthwaite. Thwaite. Isn't that weird that Bob... He's worth his Thwaite and gold.

If I told you in 1989 these two would come together to make a black, dark comedy in 2009, you probably would have said, get away from me. I don't want to have this conversation now or ever. Yeah, I don't... I have no interest in seeing it. But it's because of Robin Williams. Robin Williams, would you say that he's the prototype of a comedy actor who was like, okay, now I've got to make dramatic movies.

I've dominated comedy to within an inch of its life. I've beaten the shit out of comedy yeah to the point that no one's laughing anymore so i'm gonna be so he was in like he was good in but see that was the thing is he started out his very subtle transformation because it was he was playing characters that he already played in a dramatic movie with like dead poet society and good morning vietnam he was doing what robin williams does right only in a dramatic film and he got like huge praise for it and now yeah i liked them as the genie in aladdin that was a dramatic movie right yeah? Yeah, mostly. Jafar.

And then he did, like, One Hour Photo. Yeah, and he did Insomnia, and he did, like, what was that other one that he was in where he was the Fisher King? Right. And, yeah, like, he's done, and he was on an episode of Law and Order. Yeah, where he played another creepy guy. Yeah, that seems like a step down. To play creepy? Oh no, to be on Law and Order. Oh yeah, yeah, I don't know how that happened. Although, when Jeff Goldblum, now Jeff Goldblum is a regular cast member on one of the Law and Orders.

But he plays the same character from Jurassic Park. And Independence Day. Yeah. No, he plays the exact same character from Jurassic Park. So there's all these references throughout Law and Order to his dino days. Oh, the exact same character. Yeah, like the same character. Yeah.

Oh, the exact same character. Yeah, like the same character. Yeah. But when someone is on Law & Order as a guest star, you're like, oh, well, their career is on the way down. Yeah. But when someone joins the cast, I think that's like a fine move as an actor. If you become a cop or a lawyer on Law & Order. A law or an order. You think that that's a...

Yeah, because to me that seems like a thing where if you're an actor and you're like, I want to live in New York from now on. I want to hang out with Chris Noth. Yeah, and they're like, hey, do you want a regular gig to facilitate your new New York dwellings? Sure. Law & Order is it. Yeah, Law & Order or Broadway. It's the day job of actors who want to live in New York dwellings. Sure. Law and order is it. Yeah, law and order or Broadway. It's the day job of actors who want to live in New York.

Yeah. That's how I pay the bills. It's a living. You saw your movie. Tell me about it. It's, you know what? In the loop. You know how this summer, like last summer, it was kind of like.

Summer of the shark. Was it? It was going to be... You thought like... What was the funniest movie from last summer? For me, it's... Pineapple Express or... Or Tropic Thunder.

But you had at least a choice. This summer, what's the funniest movie of the summer? I love you, Beth Cooper. Yes. I don't know. Were there any big comedies this year there were but they weren't good like that was the thing like the big big comedy is there a medea movie medea well i think she's gonna save christmas this year okay or halloween uh whatever is quicker um yeah whatever it costs much less to produce there was uh there was supposed to be like land of the lost right right which everybody hated and it was nobody saw yeah bruno

which nobody it didn't live up to its expectations at all did you see it yeah okay i didn't see it my parents saw it oh really what did they think? My mother was like, someone had told her that it was satire or, yeah, satire. And she's like, oh, well, then it'll be very smart. Yeah. And not have penises everywhere. Yeah, the thing about, it was like, Borat caught everybody off guard so much, I think. And it had a lot of undertones about like anti-semitism it had like a lot of levels in it bruno has no levels like it's literally let's take a gay character and put him

in situations where people are homophobic yeah but the but the the thing is is in general the homophobes didn't respond in the in a way that you would like i'm sure he wanted them to there wasn't as much like violence or craziness there was mostly just kind of stunned silence and so it wasn't really that fun to watch so then the whole summer's kind of gone past like i thought up was really funny but it wasn't straight ahead comedy. It was more weepy than laughy. So then at the end of the summer... It was so funny I forgot to laugh. Yeah. But then I saw this movie in the loop yesterday.

Easily the funniest movie of the summer, hands down. Just really, really funny dialogue. Some of the best swearing I've ever seen in a movie since probably The Commitments. Commitments set a really high watermark for... I never saw that, but it seems like something I since probably The Commitments. Commitments set a really high watermark. I never saw that, but it seems like something I hate. The Commitments? Yeah.

Sad Irish people playing soul music. But the best reason to see The Commitments is for the swearing. Because they have this swearing in it. I appreciate really strong ability in swearing. Like new dynamic, new ways to combine swear words to really have maximum impact.

And this movie does it probably 30-40 times during the movie. There's like new twists on swear words. New put downs. At this point, are they now part of our something I would have heard, part of my lexicon? No. Part of my lexicon printer?

No, that's the thing. And there was just really quick references. There was just like a really great – like there's all these throwaway lines that any other movie, that would be like the best moment that they put in the preview to convince you how funny it is. There was one of those per scene throughout the entire movie. So it's one of the best written films I've seen in a long time. But it was just really, really funny. Are we talking about The Commitment still?

No, In the Loop. Okay. But there was a great scene where there's three people in an office. And this kind of like the boss walks in and it's a guy and a girl and another guy. And he goes, white stripes, fuck off. And the three of them go to leave and he just grabs the one guy and he's like, there's only two people in the white stripes. Just stuff like that. Like there's just constant, constant references and swear words. And it's really mean.

It's one of those really mean. All the characters are really quick and evil. Oh, I feel like I'd like that. Yeah. I do like mean people. Yeah. So this is the... Mean people suck.

I'm going to say this. I got the t-shirt. It is, if it's playing in your town, even if it's playing kind of at the... Because it is playing at one of the smaller theaters here. It's not going to be your Triplicon. No, but your little art house theater, wherever you live. Funkadelic. Yeah, the Funkadelic Googleplex.

Travel go-ops. Go see it. Go see In the Loop. Strong endorsement from me. All right. Here's another thing that happened to me. Suck it to me. I was at Safeway the other day.

Yeah. And you know when you're walking up to someone and they are coming right towards you? Yes. And you do that little shuffle? Yeah, the back and forth, let me go to this side, and then you're also going that way, etc.

And then you do it back and forth like four or five times, like you'll be, you'll give like a kind of a sigh or a gasp. Like, ugh. But it's usually good natured. This one, I was at Safeway the other day. I did that with a guy and it was just a one step one.

Yeah. And he got so mad. Really? Yeah. Like it was over in two steps. One step the same direction and then he figured so mad. Really? Yeah. Like it was over in two steps. One step the same direction and then he figured it out. So did he just make a face at you or did he say something? How do you know he was mad? He did a hand motion.

He just like jerked his hand. Like move out of the way? Yeah. Oh, man. That thing. What if what had happened was everywhere he went all day that happened to him? Maybe. Like every step of the way.

And I was the penultimate straw. Yeah. Next guy is going to break the camel's back. Next guy was getting his face punched in. But then that guy is the problem. It's not me. No, no, no. You can't be responsible for people's reactions to your stranger dance.

I'm not responsible for anything. No. Ever, no. You can't be responsible for people's reactions to your stranger dance. I'm not responsible for anything. No. Ever. Yeah. Here's another thing. On Friday night, I got to pass guest Adam Pateman is moving to New York City. New York City? Yeah.

No place for your picante sauce. And he had a big house shindig. The opposite of warming. Yeah, yeah, basically. It was like kind of a house destroying, even though I'm fairly sure his roommates are going to continue to live there. Eh, we'll see. And I just, like, I had so much fun at this house party that I remember, like, it was just a click over in my memory of how much I loved house parties and how they are always the best possible thing you can do with a Friday night.

And how I don't do that. There's never any house parties anymore. Yeah, I guess you're right. People like going out to things. I don't like going out to things, but I also don't like going out any house parties anymore. Yeah, I guess you're right. People like going out to things. I don't like going out to things, but I also don't like going out to house parties. See, I was always a big house party. Like, ever since I couldn't play and I used to hang out. I was wondering how long we would go.

Me too. I thought it would be way quicker than that, to be honest. I almost asked, but no. But I just always, they've always, like in high school, like did you go to them in high school? No. No? Really? You were invited.

You just turned them down. I assume you were invited. Define invited. Hey, there's a house party on Friday. That's it. Yeah, yeah, that would be. And you just show up. Yeah, like, because no one house party on Friday. That's it. Yeah, yeah. That would be... And you just show up. Yeah.

Like, because no one's ever really invited. No. Like, people will just say, spread the word. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and those are the best type of house parties. But I would never do that in high school. You would never do that? No. Never go to a house party?

No, I don't think I ever went to... I'm sure I went to at least one, but... I went to a lot of them. Because I didn't drink. Oh, okay. And I didn't think I ever went to I'm sure I went to at least one I went to a lot of them Because I didn't drink Were you a teetotaler? No Were you into totally tea? Were you totally into tea? I was into Tina Turner's tits

I didn't drink until I was 19 And I Didn't didn't drink until I was 19 And I Didn't like leaving the house Until I was 27 Oh okay and then you did that for a year And then it resumed hating it Yeah I don't know I feel like I spent a lot of time

At house parties Through high school years Then there was kind of a break from it in college Although there were quite a few house parties through high school years. Then there was kind of break from it in college, although there were quite a few house parties throughout college. I just didn't have all the time. And then after college, when I moved out here, it was back, a lot of house parties again. And then kind of in the last couple of years, no house parties.

And not because I haven't been invited to them. There's just none happening. What do you do at a house party? I like to work the crowd party i like to just i like to work the crowd yeah i like to work the room talk to as many people as possible people you know or strangers sometimes people i know i was with the people i know most of the time at this house party but also i you know i went to the kitchen talked to a bunch of people i tried on somebody's jacket uh you know a little coat yeah somebody's jacket. Fat guy in a little coat.

Yeah, I did a little fat guy in a little coat dance. There was dancing at one point. I was dancing over in a corner. It was pretty fun. We didn't wreck anything or anything like that, although there was very little to wreck in this place. It was pretty...

At the same time, that's the perfect place for a house party because you don't feel like, oh, something's going perfect place for a house party Because you don't feel like Oh, something's going to get destroyed Because everything was kind of well at that point There was already a hole in the wall The fire alarm had been pulled to pieces Yeah, when I was in university

I did go to a lot of house parties Actually, after high school I've gone kind of consistently Yeah They're fun A couple weeks ago you went to that cake party that's like a house party yeah cake cake sorry it sounded like you said keg party yeah you went to a keg party oh did i miss here was it a cake party yes oh uh but i remember once in university uh these guys uh had a house party every few weeks. Yeah. And then the last one of the year, their landlord had informed them that he is tearing down the house.

So they tore it down ahead of schedule? Wow. There were, I remember, I like events. I like when there's a jumping over things event. Yeah? Like a stick? This was a hedge. So in order to entice you to a party...

I need feats of strength. There needs to be an event attached. Yeah. Because that cake party you went to had an ottoman event. Yep, there's always an ottoman event. But yeah, my problem is I never know enough people at a party. So I will talk to the two people I know. I'll do a lap.

I'll come back to the two people I know. Yeah. I'll leave. Okay. And that's it. Because I don't want to wait for more people to show up. Is this a stuffy party we're talking about? No.

High society types? Lots of opera glasses and stuff? Fans? Yeah. Hats. Waiters with hors d'oeuvres. Oh, that's uncomfortable. That is uncomfortable.

That is uncomfortable. When you have to... Unless you're drunk. In which case it becomes the most comfortable thing in the world. When there's waiters with hors d'oeuvres and they also have one handful of hors d'oeuvres on a little thing. Yeah. A platter.

And then the garbage hand? One handful of napkins oh okay and you pick up the hors d'oeuvres and you don't even think of taking a napkin and then you're like oh i should take a napkin oh wait what am i trying to impress the waiter yeah yeah so that's your but that's really i don't think that's a common, that's more of a... I think that's you. Someone's work party. Yeah. Although work parties... Work parties are more sedate, because you've got to go back on Monday

and work with these people. There's not as much... Although I've been to some work parties where some shit went down, and it was... Not work parties that I worked at, but I went with friends as their plus one. Well, I could get as drunk as I wanted because...

And you were the shit that went down? No, no, no. Oh, there was one. People want details. The essence of drama is conflict. Well, as a comedian, oftentimes you end up doing... Time. Well, as a comedian, oftentimes you end up doing time at a Christmas show or at a Christmas party. And then you're kind of like, if you stay there long enough, you will always be privy to some drama.

And there was one that I was at. I want to say it was out in Abbotsford. Do they even have offices there? Office depots. There was I believe what had happened was either it was a guy who had made out with a girl at the party

or this was the boiling over of a past incident. Anyways, it was definitely And she had a boyfriend? It was the guy was confronting her about her of a past instance. Anyways, it was definitely... And she had a boyfriend? Yeah. It was the guy was confronting her about her slutty ways. But I don't know if it happened that night,

but definitely the confrontation went down at the party. At the work party. Woof. Yeah. And I was there. I was right front and center for the screaming match. But it turned out pretty well, I think. Yeah, they all went back to Office Depot and stole some three-hole punches.

Burned down a Staples. Yeah, but anyways, it was just really a lot of fun. That's my second endorsement of the podcast, house parties. What was the first? In the loop. Okay. My two endorsements are staying out of that guy's way at safeway exactly and uh i guess inglorious bastards that was kind of a half endorsement yeah maybe i see it on dvd or catch it on blu-ray it's fun to go to movie theaters though is it?

is it? it's kind of fun I think it's weird that there's still things like that where a bunch of people gather together and sit in a it's the only thing like that outside of concerts well the running of the bulls

oh yeah and what is the Spanish thing where they throw the tomatoes? Tomatina? Tomatillo? Yeah, tomatilla. Yeah, those two. Well, the Spanish, obviously, are in love with public gatherings. Isn't there one?

Maybe it's in India with ink. With, like, ink powder. Ink cartridges. Ink pink. You stink riding on a horse's dink. Yeah, that's the one. No, i know which one you're talking about and everybody ends up looking like uh like that like phosphorescent

like pink and blue and yeah yeah what the fuck is that that's the incotillo it's uh you know 70 of the crowd ends up blinded for life festival um yeah so and that's i'd say that's about oh here's a weird thing please kind of a a weird thing that correlates to last week's podcast last week i talked about seeing uh cape fear on tv which i hadn't seen for years and how good juliet lewis was okay two days later juliet lewis was at the tv station. Oh, yeah. Promoting her concert? Yeah. And I kind of... I didn't get to meet her, but I was in the room, and she was just the sweetest gal. But I was kind of... And this never happens, because Eli Roth, he was in a couple

days before, and I said hi to him, and it didn't even faze me, because I didn't really couldn't remember anything he'd been in. he's seen him in the director is he really yeah he did hostile and um oh he did hostile uh hostile monkeys but he's acted in things right i don't know he's a but he yeah in the inds, you feel like you've seen him before. He's a familiar face. So when I saw him, it didn't, you know, I didn't, but I guess I didn't know he was from Hostel. Or maybe you just heard that he was being hostile. Is that possible?

Different spelling. Oh, okay. But he, but yeah, I got a little starstruck by Julia Lewis. By Julia Lewis? Yeah, a little bit. But yeah, I got a little starstruck by Juliette Lewis. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, I didn't say anything, but she was talking to some gentleman who was also on the show in the morning that he had some invention for arthritis.

And she was engaged and talking to him like he was the fascinating one. So she stayed on after her segment? No, this was in the green room. Okay. I want to watch that show. I want to watch Juliette Lewis talk to inventors. Yeah, I do too now. Now that you mention it, I watched it and it wasn't even on TV. Let's pitch it.

You add a little production value to that. What would you call it? Natural Born Inventors? Possibly? Juliette Lewis with Inventors. Juliette Lewis can't lose. Did you ever watch Parker Lewis Can't Lose? Yeah. I had a backpack, and I wrote on my backpack, Coolness Park.

But wasn't it Coolness Parker? I pretty think it was Park. I pretty think it was park i'm pretty think it was park um and in the o's of coolness i wrote i put peace symbols because that's what i was all about yeah that's about coolness and peace how was your what were your thoughts on them on in the middle east did you feel that peace should be there oh Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And peace should also be out. How did you feel that colors should be? Colors.

United? Crossed. Or crossed. Oh, okay. I felt they should be united. You felt they should be crossed. Let's see. How do you feel that equipment should be? Bummed.

Okay. And finally, oh, geez. equipment should be bummed okay and finally oh geez uh what do you feel is the best companion of pepper salt no chip you suck my bad well salt and pepper would have worn oh yeah salt and pepper yeah they said pepper oh mine was gonna to be Vision Streetwear. Something, something, Vision Streetwear. Wow, this is great. Let's move on to maybe some Overheards? Overheard! So we were watching, during the break, Mamma Mia was on TV. Here we go again.

Yeah. My, my. here we go again yeah my my and the the lady Meryl Streep yeah

she was singing the winner takes it all yeah to Pierce Brosnan on the cliff yep have you seen the have you seen Mamma Mia

I haven't how does it end they all die but I was I remember a few months ago I was watching a show How does it end? The old time. But I remember a few months ago I was watching a show on Much More Music. Yeah. Which is Canada's VH1. Is it?

Yeah, it's the adult contemporary equivalent. Oh, Much More Music. Yeah. Yes, sorry. Go ahead. And they did a show. I don't think they did the show. It was a show. And they did a show. I don't think they did the show. It was a show.

They were showing a show. Yeah. They put on a show to save the town. And it was all about Abba. Yeah. Abba or Abba? Abba. Abba.

Omarosa. And it was all about their greatest songs. but for some reason they had a computer involved and the computer was compiling what made a great pop song oh and i think the winner take it takes it all was the greatest abba song i might be wrong about really yeah yeah they've done that before where there's like uh scientists from kind of different disciplines will get together to figure out what is like the perfect face or the perfect pop song or the perfect – Or let's teach a computer how to paint a painting. Yeah, or like what is the funniest joke or whatever. And it's always like the results are always like, what? And they're like, no, based on science. Based on

science, this is the greatest art. Based on science, Weird Science is the best movie. Or Jurassic Park. We did all the analysis. So Overheard. Okay, so do you want to go first? Should I go first? I'll go first. Yesterday, I've been running low on overheards. Yeah, it's tough. It's not easy. We do this every week.

And this week there have been a bunch of things. I've been in situations where I'm like, oh boy, here comes a great one. And the one that sticks out was yesterday while I was waiting for the movie to start. Yeah. And glorious bastards. The couple beside us, the girl was explaining to the guy the plot of crank. Okay. Yeah.

And she went into all this detail. But all he said was, huh, hmm. Yeah, well, there's not a lot of plot, really. I know, but you can be amazed by it. He'd never heard of this movie. Oh, and he was like, yeah. It's about a guy who has to keep his adrenaline up. Yeah, or else he dies.

Yeah, he has to fuck his girlfriend in Chinatown. Or a rodeo, depending which one you saw. I had a similar moment. But I do have an actual overheard. Oh, no, I know. But I had a similar moment where I thought I was going to hear an awesome overheard from a girl who was walking down the street and she was wearing Ugg boots and jeans that I was informed right away were jeans that were made to look like they had paint splatter on them. I guess that's a look.

It's coming up, if it isn't already here. I've heard the term distressed. To have your jeans look like they've been worn for a while. Yeah, and this was when I saw her, my first thought was oh, she's somebody who is either painting an apartment or she is a painter.

But I was quickly informed no, that's a new way that pants are being done. They're sold with the paint stains on them. What about with tears in them? Yeah, they also had the tears. Very conspicuous tears.

The way that it looked. But then when I saw them closer up, I was like, oh, the paint pattern is too even. Too perfect? Yeah. Abby has a pair that are made to look like there was a bleach accident. No. Yes. Really?

Yeah. No, she doesn't. She got them on sale, and that's the only time I've been shopping with her, and I've advised her, don't get that. That's stupid. It looks terrible. That's stupid. Make it look like a bleach accident.

So do you think that's, Is that a whole line of things like accidental situations in clothes? Yeah, I'm gonna get the pants wedding. I'm gonna get a pair of pants that looks like the zipper's broken. So they always kind of don't fit properly. I got a safety pin in the clothes at the top. It's an extra 60 bucks, but it's worth it.

I'm gonna look like I just rolled around in the grass in my khakis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big like brown and green grass stains. I'm gonna look like I lost a gang fight to the Warriors. Or like, what if you got a pair of pants that looks like you've had the wallet

in the same pocket for years so the one pocket's super distressed but the other one is brand new. Is that a look? My current jeans that I'm wearing right now... You could sell for $300. I'm sure I could. I think this brand of jeans actually buys back

used jeans. And then resells them? Yeah, but my crotch is too worn out. No, but that's it. That's the key. Crotch vent. I have to keep sewing in patches to the inner crotch. The crotch within us all. I haven't overseen it is a... We did graffiti last week. Yes!

And I forgot I had this on my phone. I took a picture of this and I should have done it last week, but And I forgot I had this on my phone. I took a picture of this. And I should have done it last week, but here we are. No, this is perfect. It's so perfect. It's an overseen. We could not ask for more perfect. Who could ask for anything something?

Okay, this is a, what do you call the thing under a mattress? Is that the box spring? Yes. Okay. That is what I call it. I don't know about industry professionals. Someone in an alleyway a couple blocks from my house had, I guess they were throwing away

their box spring and someone tagged it with air bud. That doesn't make any sense at all. That doesn't make any sense at all. And it looks like they did two coats of air and just one coat of bud. And the thing is, too, is what you have to describe is it's the underside of the box spring thing.

So it looks like a prison window. Okay, sure. With kind of a cloth hanging over it. And the cloth reads Air Bud. So maybe that factored into it. This is Air Bud's kennel. Maybe it's a reference to one of his movies. Yeah.

Air Bud goes to jail. Yeah. Air Bud saves Christmas. Air Bud in the big house. From the dog house to the big house. Air Bud. I think we just pitched and sold Air Bud. Goes to jail.

Goes to jail. Goes to jail. Do you know what's weird is like in movies like that, I believe there was an earnest version and possibly a Pauly Shore version where they go to jail. Or a biodome. Yeah, or a biodome. There's very little man-on-man rape in those movies. Or even allusions to it. But that didn't just start when Oz was on the air. Like, it had been going on in the earnest days.

In the earnest days of man-on-man rape. Yeah, like, Jailhouse Rock certainly doesn't have anything about it. No. Although... But then, what's that movie with Tim Robbins? Oh, Shawshank. That had. Yeah.

Yeah, that was there. and that was in the 50s wasn't it yeah it was but the it wasn't made until the 90s yeah but that was fun fact fun fact uh do you have an overheard um so i was saying that i saw this girl on the on the phone and i was hoping for an overheard wait you saw a girl on the phone, and I was hoping for an overheard from her. Wait, you saw a girl on the phone? Yeah, she was talking on the phone with the paint pants. Oh, okay. I thought you meant you saw her through your telephone. Yeah, I saw her on my video phone.

Sure. I'm from the future. Did you know that? They have video phones. But I said this was from another girl who was talking. This is a thing that we've seen, I'm sure many other people listening have seen, is the phenomena of a person walking down the street. Being on the receiving end of a phone call where somebody is walking down the street,

always thoroughly unpleasant. Always a lot of heavy breathing. Basically sounds like you're talking to somebody while they're masturbating like that's almost oh and if not if that's not obnoxious enough there's always uh plenty of street noise in the background wind and rain them breathing heavy into the phone oh so trucks yeah always a thoroughly thoroughly unpleasant experience i don't know why people do it i honestly don't it seems like a thing. It's a mobile phone. And when are you being more mobile? That's true.

Than when you are perambulating. Dead to when you're driving. You shouldn't, but that's against the law in some places. I feel in certain cases maybe it should be against the law while you're walking. Maybe you should just do it. Maybe we should go back to a thing where the phone is in the houses. That's where you talk on the phone. I don't agree.

What? You like talking out in public on your phone? Well, no. I like taking my phone with me wherever I go. So do I. But here's the difference. Unless I know it's an emergency call, I let it go to voicemail, and then I answer it later when I'm at home. I let it go to voicemail and then I answer it later when I'm at home

generally unless it's like oh Dave's coming he's looking for directions I'll answer the phone and tell him where he's going but that's it that's the extent of me answering phones in public that's a little weird why do you answer phones in public?

I think I do for what? I'm a very important businessman yeah oh yeah that's true you do buy low and sell high often no I think I'm a very important businessman. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's true. You do buy low and sell high often. No, I think, yeah, that's the whole point of having a cellular telephone. I mean, no, I think I, like, usually if it's really loud around me, I don't even hear the phone ring. But do you have a lot of, do you have a lot of conversations in the public arena where you're just out somewhere, you're at a Safeway, say, and you're having a full-blown conversation on the phone?

Yeah, the only times I don't answer the phone are in a movie theater or when I'm with someone. Okay, okay. You know, sexually. Yeah, yeah, having sexual intercourses. But yeah, otherwise, what's the, why do I have a mobile phone? I don't know. I guess maybe I wish less people had them. Is that what I'm wishing for?

A lot of people have them now. And a lot of people, this is basically it. That I was standing at an intersection to cross, and there was somebody on. Maybe this is the thing, because I imagine when you're on the phone, you're not screaming into the phone. You're having a conversation. I could probably ignore it, so that's I'm fine with. As long as I can ignore what's going on. This lady, I had my iPod, I had my earphones in, and and i was listening to music and i could still hear her over the music and this is what she was saying into her cell phone said he said i was obnoxious

can you believe it i was like yeah i believe it i could believe it i can't believe he said it and that she didn't have a phone on her ear long enough to hear it. Maybe he said it while she was... To a part to not hear it. Yeah, exactly. You know what I'm trying to say. Yeah. You understand me, Dave.

I get you like no woman could. But, yeah, I don't know. The whole, I guess the whole cell phone thing, I guess that's here to stay. Well, we can fight it. There's actually, well, you know how in some places it's illegal to talk on your phone while you're driving? Yes. And when I say this, I'm making the finger... Yeah, you're doing the hang loose sign to your head.

Yeah. So that you know that I know that you're talking about a telephone. Right. And not Simon a telephone. Right. And not Simon M. phone. Yeah. The stereophonics. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But I don't know if it's illegal in Vancouver.

It's not. Okay. vancouver it's not okay but the uh just the part or legislature just reconvened last week and that is one of the major principles of the uh of the new government is that cell phone ban will be in effect before the end of the year because all over the world it's a different law everywhere. If it's illegal completely or if you can have a hands-free unit. But I'm driving down to Seattle next week. I don't know if it's illegal there. I don't know. Have fun in Seattle, by the way.

Oh, if anybody here listening is in the greater Washington area, Dave... Or just Washington State. Like, not the greater Washington area. No, Washington D.C. specifically. You probably wouldn't want to drive in from Idaho. But say you're not doing the Puyallup this weekend. Right. You can do it at a trot. You can do it at a gallop. You can do it real slow

so your heart don't palpitate. Just don't be late. Do the Puyallup. That's a theme from the Pallap fair in washington state um seattle uh next weekend is home to probably one of the better mixed arts festivals in america mixed martial arts yeah it's dave is going to be doing a lot of Camaras and arm bars. With Brock Lesnar and... Brock Lesnar and Randy Couture. La Couture. Is it Couture or La Couture? La Couture. No, it's Randy Couture.

Okay. Couture. I will be at the Bumbershoot Arts Festival. Yeah, on the Saturday, I believe, at 3 o'clock in the afternoon. At 3 p.m. in the afternoon at the Canadian stage on the Vera Project, I believe. If you guys ever want to see

Mr. Dave Schumacher perform stand-up comedy live, this is your chance, Seattle. So, baby, I hear the blues are calling. Yeah. The salads and scrambled eggs. Take that, Emerald City. And Graham will be in the Victoria area.

Yeah, Victoria, Jamaica. Victoria, British Columbia at Eckler's. Eckler's Comedy Club. They've got a little cockney flair over on the island. But we still have some overherds. We have some written-in overherds

that I think were delightful from listeners. Let me just find one. And listeners, we've gotten a lot of emails. We usually take two or three weeks to reply to most emails. We've taken a lot of time recently, and so we

apologize. You'll get a reply. It might be short and curt, but Kurt LaCouture and I will be replying. Yeah, Dave and I are going to figure this out together. Doing it the way we know how. This first one's really neat. It's not so much an overheard, but kind of like a really neat instance.

You'll see when I get to the end of it. No, please explain it before you say it. No, I don't want to. Explain it. Don't spray it. This is from Mike T., who's affiliated with Andrea T. Okay. Okay.

My wife and I were in a fancy, quote-unquote, restaurant in Austin, Texas, in the bar area, and there was a ponytailed guy with a kid asking to talk to the owner slash chef so that he could give him a gift. I believe at this point I leave it over to my wife and said something to the effect of, who is this douchebag and why does he think he's special enough to give a gift to the chef? The chef comes over and they start to chat. I hear Mr. Ponytail say, yeah, I just got back. I was in Russia training for six months and then up there for a couple of weeks. I keep listening and it turns out Mr. Ponytail's name is Lord Richard Garriott, a video game designer, and he went to space. Oh, outer space. The gift was an origami spaceship That he made and brought back

What did you do in space? It was really boring I made origami I got some calligraphy lessons up there They did water skiing We did space pottery. We made wallets. We made a calendar of all the things that we saw in space.

I've been watching a lot of Top Chef. A lot. More than usual. More than the average. More than once a week. Well, Top Chef and Project Runway are made by the same company. Right. But they usually run at different times.

Now they're running concurrently, and there have been extra episodes as well. So you have models of the runway. Sure. There's the Battle of Seattle. There was Top Chef Masters. Rumble in the Jungle. Project Runway All-Star Challenge. Oh, speaking of Rumble in the Jungle, that was a good overheard courtesy of Ivan Decker,

past guest Ivan Decker, at the house party where he said, you know the thing, he was explaining to somebody who George Foreman was to somebody. The grill. And he was like, it was the guy, it was Muhammad Ali and George Foreman fought in the Rumble for the Jungle. Like it was the guy it was muhammad ali and george foreman fought in the rumble for the jungle like it was a benefit yeah no or the winner gets the jungle the winner yeah winner takes all the winner trees manila so you were saying about project models yeah uh but mostly top chef why was this guy giving this chef is the chef famous that got the spaceship or is this guy just

bragging i guess maybe the chef is his friend i don't know like i don't know but the thing that i like about it is that you could just bring like a bag of shit up into space and bring it back and be like hey this was in space so you, you know, take this, you know, packet deck of cards or something that I brought. You know what I mean? Like, you could, whatever, whatever stuff you wanted to give away. Yeah, what could you take to space?

I guess you could take anything to space. Like, all the stuff that you were going to give away to the Salvation Army, if you were going to move or something, you should just put it in a bag and take it to space. Then when you come back now, all of a sudden it's valuable because it's now been in space but like uh what about a little uh this uh this juice used to be in a blob and in midair and yeah yeah and i captured it and put

it inside this tupperware enjoy but now it's it's subject to gravity but you can imagine right yeah anyway give me a free steak um and then this uh and mike and andrea t have a secondary one um no and it's great it's great uh it's my favorite style of overseen you have a lot of favorites yeah because i love a lot of things i love a lot my heart you say you love it what like not everything can be your favorite graham are we breaking up no you know what it's like oprah every year she comes out with a list of favorite things oh yeah yeah i'm the same way man i'd love to be in the crowd for one of those oh get it i have a funny thing from uh i was chatting with a guy who went and saw oprah uh just recently and it's apparently like the audience is always made up of people who uh have survived a tragedy no who think they're gonna get a car like that's most of the people

who are there all the talk is you think today's the day yeah so they're all there and then uh he was there on a day with one of the phillips Wilson Phillips. Carney or China? No, but China's sister. Carney Wilson, sorry. Yeah. China's sister, Michelle? Anyways, yeah. Michelle Phillips was her mother.

Sorry. One of the mama's and the papa's kids. Kids. Had a long-term incestuous relationship with her father. Oh. And it was like all these housewives were like, so no free Acura today.

Just this horrible, horrible story. Like on Ellen, they'll quite often be talking about something, and then at the last minute, they're like, oh, by the way, you're all getting iPods. Yeah. And then sometimes they're all like, you're all getting

calendars. It's an entertainment program, but with Oprah, it's like you're all getting calendars. It's an entertainment program. But with Oprah, it's like you're all getting incestuous relationships. All these dads walk in from the back of the room. What we should do is next time we do just you and me. Yeah. Dave and Graham's favorite things. Yeah, I like it. Oh, I like it a lot. Yeah. Dave and Graham's favorite things. Yeah, I like it.

Oh, I like it a lot. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Let's do it next week. All right, this is the second one from Mike and Andrea. I was visiting my hometown a while back and was at a party with a lot of people that I knew from high school and had not seen in a long time. One of these guys just came back from Iraq with a large tattoo on his arm with some

tough guy design and some writing that said blood is thicker than water. Then spelled wrong? T-H-E-N. I made some comment to him about how he must hear comments all the time about the spelling being wrong.

And I shit you not, he had no clue what i was talking about i told him that if he wanted to fix it he could just put a comma after thicker and put a question mark at the end so it would be blood is thicker comma than water blood is thicker and followed by water yeah i guess um yeah sure before liquor never sicker yeah blood is thicker. And followed by water? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, sure. Beer before liquor, never thicker. Yeah, blood is thicker. Then water comes in second.

And in third. That's right. If you just put it like a fourth thing. Yeah. Like soy sauce or whatever. Sure. Blood is thicker. What is less than water?

Wood. Yeah, then. Plus dense. Yeah. It floats. Oh, man. But I think I've told the story on the podcast about the guy that I know that had the tattoo, misspelled tattoo. Start it.

It was a gentleman who was over at my house, and he just came back maybe the day before he just got the tattoo. Yeah. And the tattoo said, until we meet again. And until had two L's in it. And he, but this is how I found out. He was in the bathroom. And then he said, how many L's are there in until? He himself saw the, he had never considered it when he got it.

Do you watch LA Ink? I watched it this weekend. Oh, boy. Oh, yeah. Oh, boy. Did we talk about LA Ink on the podcast? No, but it's good. Save it because I want to get through these overheards, but I want to talk about LA Ink in a big way.

All right. This is from Ryan L. Can we put the accompanying picture on the blog? Yeah, why not? And this – can we put the accompanying picture on the – Yeah, why not? On the blog. It was – I was at a local grocery store in the pharmacy when I noticed this uniquely dressed man. Actually, this might be better for neighborhood jerks or whatever.

But I'll continue as I was because this guy took a picture, which I appreciate the effort of. Basically, he was in one of those things where you get your uh blood pressure yeah red he's an old guy uh he had a full head of white hair and matching beard atop his head rested a small blue cowboy hat that looked like it belonged to a seven-year-old he wore camo pants cut into camo shorts he wore a shirt with sleeves cut off on the front of the shirt over his left breast was a pink heart with pink lettering inside that read, Southern Girls. Sure. On the back was a cowboy riding a bucking bronco.

And above it, in Indiana Jones font, read, Can Chaser. And yeah, there's an actual photo of him. And that's him there. What's a can chaser? Yeah. Because a can can mean your butt or your cans can be your boobs. Yeah, I'm guessing from this photo

that he's talking about jugos. Jugs. Yeah. Cans. Jugs. Get it? Yeah. Alright, this is from Benson L. This is an overheard from a while back. It starts, in my place of employment on a day when one of my bosses brought in his approximately eight-month-old daughter to show off to all his coworkers.

The baby was met with the usual baby gawking banter from onlookers. Ah, so cute. Et cetera. However, the one super butt-kissing outspoken lad decided to pipe up after all the cooing had settled down to say this damn she's cute and growing fast you better watch out because before you know it she'll be beating off guys left and right yeah well yep better watch out have you ever worked with an ass kiss i don't think i have um everyone i've ever worked with seems to have hated everything. An ass kiss. Like, I guess I don't know.

It's like a suck up. A brown noser. Yeah, yeah, no, I mean, I know what ass kiss means. No, no, Graham, it's someone who tries to get ahead through flattery. No? Yeah, I'm trying to think. Flattery. No? Yeah. I'm trying to think. Oh, yeah.

No, I definitely have. When I worked way, way back in the day when I worked at Toys R Us, I worked with somebody who decided they were going to try and get – that was always my thing. they were going to try and get ahead is what i was gonna say but this is always the thing that bothered me about about a shitty uh part-time job or or a job that you know even if you're a manager or an owner of the place you know it's a joe job you know yeah and i always got offended by people who would treat it as more because it would make me by proxy look like i'm doing less you're not pulling your weight yeah and i was offended that anybody would put me in that position you're not buying into the toys arrest ethos yeah like i worked fine like i showed up i did my work i you know like uh i was i was a good

employee but i felt like anybody that was you know employee But I felt like Anybody that was Trying to treat it like more than just a Shitty job was really putting me In a weird corner It's not like that kid who asked for Extra homework over the Christmas holidays Because they probably

Are some kind of lawyer Or business type It's someone who's failed enough To end up at Toys R Us. Yeah, no, exactly. Like, on the way up, I'm alright with it because, yeah, you're right. Like, it's people that have bigger goals.

What is the name of the character in Legally Blonde? L something? L Woods. L Woods, yeah. Yeah, they're all kind of L Woods types, and that's fine. That is the super motivated person you thought of. Oh, what?

Who's better? Oh, I don't know. The one from Election? Flick? Yeah, Tracy Flick, maybe. Regardless, they're both played by Reese Witherspoon. Sure. But yeah, I think like...

What about Cruel Intentions? Oh, do you know what? That movie is pretty hot for its day. It was made in 1945. It took place in a men's prison. Somebody named Trey M. just wrote in. It's not an overheard, but he wrote in something that is decades, which is clever euphemistic boat names.

Don't disagree with that. Do we need to write him back? No, I think this covers it. Shoutouts don't get a write back. That's my new policy. Okay. All right. How about my favorite graffiti?

This is a graffiti where somebody has heard a good old joke and applied it in real life. Okay. Which rarely happens, but sometimes you get the opportunity. Somebody says the exact setup of an old joke and you get to throw in, you know. There was one time where I remember I was at a party and it was, I want to say it was a company party, but I don't think it was. And at one point somebody was saying, like, who needs a ride home?

And the guy said, could you take my wife? And I yelled out, please. It was great. I had the presence of mind. But this is such an instance. Somebody wrote on a bathroom wall, I fucked your mother. Below in a different handwriting and a different pen color, somebody had written, go home, dad, you're drunk. Which is a great kind of old bar joke.

Great application. Sure. That's a great one. If anybody out there has a good application of a joke, like I was saying, like the take my wife, please. Have you ever had anything like that? Where like a street joke, like it's the perfect punchline for an occasion? Nothing comes to mind, really. Okay, well, if anybody out there has something like that,

it's stoppodcastingyourselfatgmail.com. Okay, here we go. Let's get down to brass tacks. Let's get down to brass tacks. No more fucking around here. All right. This is Kevin Chapman, who we gave a shout-out to a couple of weeks ago. And all his co-workers.

Yeah, Kate Chap. Is Kevin Chapman the name of one of the actors on 30 Rock? One of either Dotcom or Grizz? I might be wrong. I hope so. I hope that's exactly who we're talking about. Earlier today, there was a meeting that my brother and I... The topic of the meeting

was repetitive strain and everyone was separated into a few groups to discuss it suddenly the room went completely silent except for one person in another group who everybody heard saying in a very serious and enthusiastic voice yeah they can make gum in all kinds of flavors so well maybe they were talking to someone from the 40s. I'm tired of this one flavor of gum. I'm tired of blackjack gum. Is that what they had in the 40s, blackjack? Well, they almost certainly had bubblegum flavored.

This is from Daniel C. Oh, God. From Portland, Oregon. Oh, the Emerald City. Portland. That's how they talk in Portland, right? You're thinking of Portland, Maine. Oh, right. Okay. As my lady That's how they talk in Portland, right? You're thinking of Portland, Maine. Oh, right.

Okay. As my lady friend and I were at the zoo yesterday, at one point we stopped to watch some of the water creatures, and above the din of the screaming children, we overheard this from a totally sincere adult woman commenting to her husband, oh, I didn't know beavers could swim. Which, if you didn't, then you don't know beavers by now. Yeah. You will never, ever get to know beavers could swim. Which, if you didn't, then you don't know beavers by now. You will never, ever get to know beavers. They don't swim in

deep water. No, but they swim. Yeah, they make dams. Do you think that it's... That's not as crazy as you think it is, Graham. Oh, really? Yeah. Alright. Quit jamming these borderline overheards down my throat i'm sorry

buddy okay how about this one this is good oh god how many more two uh i was in the library at capilano college where uh this is from lindsey r one of my co-workers is a 60 year old chinese guy named james two of the best things i've ever heard this guy say are, one, when inquiring about goth kids, he asked, how come students don't dress like vampire anymore? Good question. Fair enough. Where have all the good goths gone? Are there no more goths at your college? That's weird.

It's weird that there would be goths at a college. You should be out of that phase by then. Yeah, and also they serve a lot of garlic in the cafeteria there. that phase by then. Yeah, and also they serve a lot of garlic in the cafeteria there. When talking about a woman, he said, sometimes I like to spray my cat and dog with perfume so that I smell like I slept

with a beautiful woman who had cats and dogs. I would do that. No, I wouldn't. Well, you don't know that you wouldn't. I do really like sleeping with a dog, though. Yeah, sleeping with a dog. You gotta do it.

We spoon. Can we just show... You haven't seen this link. No. This is a... Francis went to the Billy Graham Museum in Charlotte, North Carolina. And do you want to see the... Billy Graham famous evangelist?

Evangelist. This is a cow this is a an animatronic cow okay wait in a museum about an evangelist it's a talking cow animatronic but lifelike very lifelike and talks about uh how cows are important in the bible and then kind of like makes it relatable because i guess billy Graham grew up on a farm, and she talks about Billy Graham's cold hands grabbing onto her udders in the morning. Oh, gross. Yeah, gross. Really makes history come to life. Okay, but anyways. You said there were two more. This makes a third. I'm sorry. I really snuck one in. This one's for my

brother. Oh, I know him. Is that right? Yeah, Patrick. Not the guy who was here. The other one. But the one who sent us uh the the comment about uh the overheard about being in the museum sure and then someone else overheard that but maybe they didn't oh god this is getting complicated he said that they didn't anyways this is uh uh this is that reminded me that incident where he heard about that or reminded of an other overheard which was uh they were in the museum. A father and his seven- or eight-year-old son were walking around the Africa exhibit when his son was acting up and running around and yelling.

When the father finally caught up with his son, he grabbed him by the wrist and said, if you don't settle down, you will get no playtime tonight, to which the son quickly replied, I don't want playtime. The father paused and then said, well, I don't care what you want. So there you go. End of the overheards. Thank you very much everybody who wrote in. If you want to write in your overheards or thoughts about

general life or a perfect instance where you got to insert a street joke into everyday life, stop podcasting yourself at gmail.com. Or you can call us at 206-339-8328 that's 206-339 teet sorry uh do we have any called in we have some but we'll we'll hold off till next week okay uh how about uh you you mentioned and i put it off uh you were talking about la ink yes i got a lot to

say about la ink do we have any themes about la ink yeah is there a theme to that show la ink you stink if you don't have tattoos tattoos are awesome come and get one Hope it has a story behind it. Oh, your stupid stories. Did you ever watch Miami Inc.? Yes. The show's so great. So nice. They named it twice. They named it twice.

She worked in the Miami store and then moved to L.A. Kat Von. Kat Von Diddley. She worked on, she was a grip on Miami Inc. She worked in craft services. She worked her way up from grip to tattoo artist. I watched... You were going to say something specific about it,

or did you just want to bring it up as a general meme? Oh, just because I never... Abby records it on the DVR PVR. Yeah, you shouldn't. Agreed. You should get a tattoo that reminds you not to do that. But I watched it. Oh, I didn't really watch it.

I was playing on the iPod while. Sure, sure, sure. But I never have sat through a whole episode. But the one I watched was all about their annoying receptionist. The new blonde girl that doesn't fit in. That nobody likes. And she doesn't even have a tattoo. She has tattoos, but she wants another one.

And she wants it to be meaningful. And she won't shut up about it and just fire her. No one likes her. She got a... At the end of the episode, she got... Did you see that? Where she got a cherry blossom tree? A cherry blossom clinic. Check this out, everybody who's not in the know.

When you get red and white cherry blossom tattoo, it looks like you have an infectious skin rash. In case anybody told you otherwise. Yeah, you got measles. Yeah, if you've got red and white and just a hint of black kind of repeat pattern on you anywhere, it looks like a skin rash. I'm going to get black and white and red all over.

Like a newspaper in a blender in a jam? Like a nut in a blender? The reason this – we talked about this. We've talked about this between you and I. I don't know if we talked about it on the podcast. Privately, we've spoken about it in our meetings. People I know or are associated with have tattoos. It's a fact of life.

You have none. I have none. Yeah. Why don't we put our skin together in a romantic way? Yeah. Why don't we put our skin together in a romantic way? Yeah. I think in general, I think most of it, when I see these people on Miami Inc. or LA Inc.

What about? Oh, I think there's a London one. Well, there's Ink Pink and you stink. You think riding on a horse is dink? Like, you know, I guess I just feel like a lot of times they're pretty dumb. Yeah. You know, like, I want to remember my mom. Are you afraid you're going to forget your mom? Are you afraid that that memory is going to fade into the background of your life?

And then this was the greatest. This one was like, I'm going to get, on the recent one I saw, I'm going to get, it was a tree or something. Oh, were you birthed by a tree? Are you a pear or perhaps an orange? It was an orange tree, yeah. Yeah, and so she got this tree

on the back. She got it on her back where I, oh, how many times do I glance over at my back and just think about the good times? My back knee. I hold a mirror up and look into my back tattoo. I make sure my shower has a mirror in it. So that I can stare at my back tattoo. I'm not a vampire, so I can eat garlic.

Honestly, if you were getting a tattoo to remember something obscure or that you were afraid that you would get hit on the head and forget you were diabetic and take insulin or something to that effect, I am for it. But my mother, I'm doing this to remember my mother? I don't know. Why don't you write yourself a note? Write it on the calendar.

Mom's birthday. Or remember your dead mother. Yeah. Or just remember, just commit it to memory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just really focus on committing it to memory. Every day, spend five minutes remembering your mother. Yeah.

Like a musician would with their scales. There was a girl who got a mantra tattooed, like her thing where it said, if somebody else's life is less stressful because of my existence, then I have succeeded. I was like, so that's the bar that you... Yeah, stress. You're not saving lives, but...

By your logic, the cashier who is efficient is as important as the person who does an open-heart surgery. Not even the cashier who's efficient. The cashier who opens another register. Yeah, exactly. Okay, well, the lines are all 10% shorter, so I've made a difference. I'm not going to kill myself exactly exactly Dave you understand what I'm saying well that's why I got this tattoo

it says make sure that there's a register open mine says beware beware the 5th of November what does that mean I think it's remember remember I know they misspelled it I told them remember remember and they wrote beware, beware.

Yeah, they wrote remember, remember, then the 5th of November. They wrote beware, beware, Smokey the Bear. I've never started a forest fire since. Well, because you're afraid of them because they said beware. Yeah, because he does maulings. Sometimes I walk past houses and it says beware yeah because he does mall sometimes i walk past uh houses and it says beware of dog and then you look over the fence and there's there's maybe a little dog yeah i think that those signs should say remember remember the dog i just thought of a good bit for

george garland if he was still alive the difference between mauling and mall openings think about it um oh thank god he's dead uh but that is the worst thing you could have said well no just because he would have gone so downhill with that joke oh it's a joke i gave him but i i have a tattoo of a an old white ponytail on the back of my neck to remember george carlin you gotta remember so uh well we have a little bit of kind of like, not spring cleaning, nearly fall cleaning, I guess. Yeah, the cleaning. Yeah, we're going to do a little cleaning.

We're getting clean. Cleaning together. It's a segment we haven't done for a long time called, what do we call it, Neighborhood Jerks? Sure. Neighborhood Jerks? Neighborhood Nicknames? Play the theme song. Who's that guy carrying the flag

every day? What do you call him? Flag Pete, Flag Frank. You don't know his name. So you made up a name Yeah It's basically a segment dedicated to people Who have had an odd character in their life

At one point or another And have given them a funny nickname And we'll just kind of roll through these There's Victoria B sent one in. My next door neighbor is always sitting outside in the front yard on a set of crusty fabric chairs. Not meant for outdoor use. He's Hispanic, probably in his late 60s. He is always wearing a vest and large room glasses.

And I'm pretty sure his outfit has not changed since the 70s. Since we first moved into our apartment, he has always been our Pappy, of course, said with his Spanish accent. So Pappy is his nickname. There's also Tranny that stands in front of the grocery store near my house on Myrtle Avenue in Brooklyn. She has many names around the neighborhood, but Myrtle He-She is my favorite.

That's not bad. That was easy. That was pain-free. She has many names around the neighborhood, but Myrtle He-She is my favorite. All right. That's not bad. That was easy. That was pain-free. That was pain-free. Nobody got hurt. Yep. Right?

We all had fun. This is from Katie G. I have a neighborhood nickname. I'm a lesbian, and I'll sometimes go to a Phoenix lesbian bar called the Cash-In Country. It's clearly a two-step country bar, but all the hip girls go there. Whenever someone tells me the name of a lesbian or gay bar, I try to figure out if it's a pun. Yeah, that one isn't. Cash In Country? I guess not.

In is I-N-N. Okay. No, no, then it's something that's been converted. Actually, now that I say it with the spelling, it makes no sense whatsoever. Because if you, at least if it was cash, if it was cash in country, like, hey, I'm really going to cash in in this country. But once you spell in that way, it doesn't make any sense. Anyways, there was this 60 plus woman that always, it's always there, and she wears these

American flag workout weightlifter pants, parachute pants. Sure. She's always dancing and flirting she wears these American flag workout weightlifter pants, parachute pants. Sure. She's always dancing and flirting with all the young girls. We call her Star Spangled Granny. That's good. I love it. I love it a little bit. Do you think Star Spangled Granny is going to be there tonight, is what you'd say, before you head out to the cash in something.

Cash in country? Yeah. Is that what it is? Yeah, yeah. All right. Graham D. writes in, My neighbor who never seems to speak

looks just like Jason Statham, only a lot smaller. We call him Lil' Statham. Sure. I like that a lot. Of course you do. You're a huge supporter. I'm a huge Jason Statham fan. Like to the point that I worry about it.

What's to be worried about? Well, you've made a commitment to women in your life, but... Yeah, I know. Maybe Jason Statham makes you reevaluate it? Yeah, I guess so. Like, are you saying, does Jason Statham put me in the bone zone? The answer is no, he doesn't. Okay, but...

Does he make me wish that I looked like him? Yes. Okay, but you don't start your workout with rings every day. No, I don't do a workout. That's the problem. That's why I don't look anything like him, because I don't... He works out all the time.

He doesn't have a handsome face, though. He doesn't need one. I guess not. He's got that great accent, and he could rip a car in half if he wanted to. And he's got a really well-shaped skull. Yeah, that's true, eh? Alright,

this is from Jason C. These are... He says, I have some neighborhood... Some people in my neighborhood I thought you might be interested in, like we were purchasing. We're looking to purchase.

Are you in the market for a guy in a muumuu? There's a guy who rides a bicycle up and down Main Street in my town all day long. He's tricked out his bike. He has four different kinds of bells, hundreds of stickers, flags, colored beads in the spokes, which I call Spooky Dokies. Crazy bike. Anyways, I call him Pee Wee Parade because his bike reminds me of Pee Wee Herman's bike. Sure. And the other one is it's really hot right now in Utah, so it makes this guy even more of an oddity.

I saw a homeless man, and he was carrying a sleeping bag, but instead of rolling it up and carrying it like anyone else, it was slung over his shoulder like a toga and belted on like a real robe. I call him the moldy Roman purse buyer. Pretty good. Okay. Yeah. Purse buyer? Yeah, instead of the Holy Roman Empire.

Yeah, yeah. He was the gentleman who buys purses? No, purse buyer. Oh, okay. Like to sweat. Sure, okay. Oh, a purse buyer. Yeah. Oh, no. But I like the way that you brought that around. I like the way you brought it around. Okay. That's a better reference, too.

I like the way you move. Oh, I like the way... Stop it. I won't. This is from Clay R. On our street is a retired gentleman who constantly wears different types of themed pajama pants. When I first met him, he was wearing Pirates of the Caribbean pajamas. When I told my wife I met our neighbor, she asked what his name was, but I could remember what it was.

But I did mention the Pirate Pants, so that has been his nickname for the last year. Pirate Pants. Pirate Pants. So these are all really good. I felt like we had kind of an overload of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. House cleaning. Yeah.

Spring cleaning, if you will. Here's one more. One last one. Mitch L. I work in a semi-casual office in Richmond. And we often have non-staff around. The other day I walked into the bathroom and saw this guy standing at the urinal. I'm pretty sure he was letting loose a stream, but the oddness factor was that he was leaning

towards the wall with both hands above his head against the wall. Naturally, he will forever exist in my memory as Superman. So he was leaning in a Superman style. So not bad. Thank you, everybody, for your neighborhood nicknames. We only get around to them once every couple of months. Sure, yeah. But we have

a note here. We wanted to talk about LA Inc. No, we did already. Oh, okay. Sorry, I blacked out. So, yeah, if you do want to write to us in any way, shape, or form, it's a story. Stop, podcast yourself at gmail.com. And our phone number, if you do want to write to us in any way, shape, or form, it's a story. Stop, podcast yourself at gmail.com. And our phone number, if you want to call us, is 206-339-8328.

But thank you, everybody, for listening. As we said before, Dave will be appearing at the Bumbershoot Festival September 5th. At 3 in the afternoon. At the Canadian – it's in the program. It's called the Canadian Invasion. Yeah. Or Canadian Comedy. It's in Comedy.

You'll find it. If you're there, if you're going to Bumbershoot, you want to see Dave perform. He's great live. Very, very, very funny. And you know who's great live is Graham. Oh, get out. If you're in Victoria this weekend upcoming, the fourth and fifth... At Heckler's Comedy Club.

In Victoria, Britishumbia our province's capital um and uh if you enjoyed the podcast please do tell your friends and spread the word it's how uh we are able to make the podcast grow and as i said before uh the email to contact us is stop podcast yourself at gmail.com and check out the blog page that accompanies the podcast and is a very nice companion piece indeed stop podcastpodcastyourself.blogspot.com. And come back next week for another wickedly amazing episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself.