Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 785 - Maddy Kelly

Episode Date: April 4, 2023

Comedian Maddy Kelly returns to talk Popcorn For Dinner, Cheesecake Factory, and flight delays.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 785 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who we managed to get through the two weeks of MaxFunDrive and we thank all of you for participating, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yes, you know, listeners, it always feels weird being like, thank you for, you you know we couldn't do what we do without you because because um i know you're thinking do what yeah you couldn't sit around and talk to each other graham doesn't even come over but he did last week that's right so you know what we wouldn't

have done that without you. Yeah, we, what you listeners don't know about there is we're played in a lot of prisons. And so that's what we bring to the table. We're the only podcast in Canada sanctioned to be in a prison. So that's the work we're doing. Were we physically in a prison?

No, just our podcast place. Oh, we're played. They play us in the halls. Sort of just like if people misbehave, they have to listen to, uh, you know, some, uh,

a guest who, who did, didn't have a good internet connection. Um, but, uh, thank you all for all you do. If you,

um, if you're, uh, really into, uh, you know, uh, joining and upgrading maximum maximum fun i bet you know if you if you get into the next couple days you can still get those gifts

but as always you can always get the five dollar level gifts anytime throughout the year the five dollar level gifts are of course graham and me doing extra episodes for you yeah which rule and uh even the prison people like it yeah even the prison people like they actually like it more they like yeah they want to stay in prison for them yeah there's like do do some stuff about folsom prison they say uh do an episode dedicated to uh you know alcatraz yeah yeah do do the seinfeld game but with oz and i'll be like okay uh and this one the guy with the tiny two stabs yeah sure and graham will have to come up with the other plot lines like i don't know a guy the policeman the warden is mad yeah or schillinger uh gets attacked in the face with a knife.

Yeah, I haven't seen the show. Oh, man, it's great. Dennis from 30 Rock is, you know, he's smuggling something in his butt. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our guest today, a returning guest to the podcast, somebody we love having on very much, and has a brand new podcast out there in the world called popcorn

for dinner it's maddie kelly hello hello how are you i'm back that's how you are yeah i'm back people said it wouldn't happen buddy yeah they said i would never be invited to come back again yeah maddie you weren't here that long ago you were our ghost of christmas time you've been promoted to christmas guest over uh halloween guest and now what springtime yeah easter guests yeah well about eight weeks ago well you were on 20th of december you were our christmas episode and then eight weeks ago we uh you you're also the host of um let's make a rom-com and uh we were like that's too soon we can't have you back on for that yeah we can bring it up ourselves we don't need yeah we had mark oh no right you're right yeah

and then um and that's wrapping up now so everyone everyone go listen to find out if they actually did make a rom-com. Yes. Yes. That's the big question mark at the beginning of their podcast. Yeah, that's why it's called Let's Make a Rom-Com? I mean, let's make a rom-com. Sure. Let's go to brunch.

Let's do a lot of things, you know? Yeah. Let's book an Airbnb. Do they happen? You don't always get that done that's true and sometimes you just show up in a city without booking an airbnb to kind of drift um should we get to know us yeah maddie tell me about this podcast what is it it? Where is it? Who stars in it?

How is it different from every other podcast? And also, yeah, like, are you the voice of a new generation? Right, yes. You know, a voice of the new generation. Are you quoting Lena Dunham from Girls' Grave? Thank you very much, I am. So back, yay, way back in the day actually i'll tell the story in 2017 i wanted to write a sitcom about me and my friends being silly having problems and i had the

idea to film that in my in my real friends apartment we would do it live with an actual audience in the apartment this is an unmitigated disaster it looks really bad i'm not a good filmmaker so then two years later i start doing it live a little mountain gallery we do eight episodes of it live a little mountain gallery with people reading out the parts and the audience really liked it which is how i started working with kelly and kelly and dave as well yeah i was there too because they optioned it was my first ever sale of a property that i created to be a podcast and then years later here we are it's a it's a funny you have to help me it's a funny show it's like oh it's good it's funny. Oh, it's good. It's awesome. It's so good to read. Everybody loves to laugh. And this is your opportunity.

It's, you know, a sitcom. You know what a sitcom is. Yeah, it's a situation. It's short for situational communication. And what, give me an example of a sitcom, just in case people out there are like, what the hell? Oh, okay. You're married with children. I am? You're married to Tyler i am uh you're mary tyler moore i am but it's got a laugh track it's got characters it's got sound design and

listen some of you may be thinking that actually does not sound appealing to me i'd rather just watch tv but what if you're on the bus what if you need your friend is watching your tv and you have to go on your phone and do your headphone time now you have a show for that we created we created a sitcom for our generation that likes to scroll or play royal match while they watch tv now you don't even have to look at the visuals yeah but sometimes i'm playing royal match and then my audio from my podcast uh tunes out it's like really yeah sometimes you got a disabled sound my man i know but sometimes i do and it's quiet and then it still just quiets down everything i can't listen to a damn thing because the ads come up the ads are too loud the ads are loud what what is this thing you're talking

about royal what it's a game i don't play it, actually. I get ads for it, though. They're very loud. My game that I like to play? What iPhone games do you play? Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's called Bricks Ball Crusher. Not good.

What's that? It's about this dominatrix. You're a dominatrix who takes a big brick and crushes this sort of middle class guy in a suit and tie. He shows up and he wants his balls crushed. By a brick? Well, no. It's actually just

you shoot some balls at bricks. Yeah. And then maybe just a high heeled boot comes into the screen. There's really nothing dominatrix about it. Wait, balls? Is the game called Balls? It's called Bricks Ball Crusher. It's available wherever you get podcasts, and thanks for coming on and promoting it.

Why am I doing such a bad job? I worked so hard on this show for so long, and then people ask me about it, and I go, it's like comfort listening for your ears. It's TV for your ears. It's the sick cast cast and then no one understands what i'm saying um well we get it up but dave dave himself wrote four episodes of this show

but you're so wrong i wrote five because you ran out of time and i had to write the last episode okay that was a happy i wrote a lot of that one too no that's true we wrote the last one together yeah we and how is it what's it like working with. No, that's true. We wrote the last one together. Yeah, we... And how is it... What's it like working with Dave? Yeah. That's what the question everyone wants to know. Dave is very funny. Dave writes great jokes.

And he doesn't bother me, unlike some other people that we worked with. Who bothers you? Oh, man. Spill the tea. We would like to know very what do i do that doesn't bother me and i pat kelly and i came to blows on a couple times over this show another very close um person you know we couldn't have made this show without of course but i told i told the one rule of the show working with dave Pat, is that I said no more cryptocurrency jokes.

Yeah, that's true. The only thing you can't pitch me is crypto. Yeah, or NFTs. Anything related to the blockchain. Yeah. So I wrote, I think, five. There's 10 episodes. I wrote five first drafts.

And boy, was I disappointed when my jokes didn't make it into the second draft. Isn't that that's all part of the creative writing process as well. Yeah, it's called kill your darlings. I had to kill a lot of your darlings. My favorite joke that you didn't include was the gang. There's four 20-sums sharing an apartment. And one of these Casper mattresses gets delivered to their apartment and they don't know who it's for it's a mystery and so uh they're all talking about how

they want it the most and one of them is like yeah i could use that mattress for a little bow chicka wow wow and everyone's like what do you mean and he's like my uncle's in a funk band and they're coming to miss he needs a place to sleep yeah so it's kind of stuff like that so that's the kind of thing that's not in the show yeah whoa what the hell if that is up on the cutting room floor blah blah boom this is some kind of there's two there's two brands they're what first so there's episode three they get a car for the day and they try four people try to accomplish every single thing that one would want to do if you don't have a car and all of a sudden you have one right and as part of that they go to carl's jr and there's so many mentions of carl's jr and we have some cool sponsor like

macy's is a sponsor and you don't need to promote the sponsor yeah what the hell i don't know like they're real brands you know what i mean they're like so i thought, I thought Carl's Jr. would want a part of this. I was like Googling like what the specials were at Carl's Jr. and everything. Carl's, then we also, or we thought they're not going to be allowed to say this. We're going to have to say like generic Charles Jr.

You know? Why are you so married to specifically Carl's Jr. Being that there are other chains that also sell hamburgers and such. It's a good question. Why? I don't remember why it was Carl's Jr. I think we thought it was the funniest one that they would want hamburgers and such. That's a good question. Why? I don't remember why it was Carl's Jr. I think we thought it was the funniest one that they would want to go to. I think,

uh, I think Sonic is pretty funny. Sonic's pretty funny. Except it's not a drive-thru, it's a drive-in. Yeah. Okay. True.

This had to be a drive-thru because my character, Laura, had never been to a drive-thru. Okay. What? Wow. Okay. Um, oh yeah, Maddie also acts in this thing oh shit are you the are you the star or have you kind of relegated yourself to like a side

side no she's she there's four main characters and she's one of them holy shit how do you are you um are you a good actress do you throw fits have you uh told somebody on the set you lock yourself in your trailer can you imagine a trailer for a podcast well it was easy because i had written the jokes for myself so it was not that much of a challenge but it is funny where you're writing something and and then you don't really realize you have to do it because like this is a bit of a spoiler but in episode six laura gets her wisdom teeth out which is yeah i wrote that one that's my favorite episode and i have a version to like um you know people like nails on a chalkboard i love it i love it for me it's like cloth in mouth if i get that like shivery feeling about like cloth biting cloth or anything or cotton or anything like that oh i love

it and to play a character who had wisdom to that i had to shove a bunch of cotton balls in my mouth for hours yeah and i wrote a lot of stuff about me oh yeah you did actually did i that's in there you know you should have just put wool balls in there instead of cotton balls because then you would have some gagging right now oh yeah like the things you put in your dryer yeah yeah yeah just oh i get like uh i wear a night guard at night but sometimes in the day i really feel i need to grind my teeth and i'll like just put my sleeve in my mouth and just just the front teeth oh oh okay for a long time the thing that'd be hard for me to recover the thing that did that to me was uh crinkling of like cellophane that that was the one that drove me nuts but it doesn't anymore for some reason but it what about a bag of sun chips no bag of

sun chips is all right because you know what the reward on the other end. Sun chips. It's easy to get through. Sun chips never want them when they show up. Oh man, these are the best! When's the last time you bought a bag of sun chips? I don't know. I think we bought some a year ago. The kids wanted to try them. Yeah. And you know what?

They're young. I told you at the beginning of this, I said, I tried to talk about popcorn for dinner on Block Party, and instead we talked about chips and then i'm not even joking we had this exact conversation about sun chips we had a five minute conversation about sun chips because i said that munchies canadian snack mix you guys don't have in america is a great product because it's four things you don't want to buy a whole bag of, but you do want. Explain. Pretzel. Yeah.

Don't buy a whole bag of. Cheesy. Oh my God, my seven. Sunchip. Never going to buy a whole bag of. And Doritos, maybe like if I'm in a very big self-loathing place, I'll sort of indulge in that aesthetic. But I can tell you right now we have in my house a bag of Doritos and a bag of Cheezys. Yeah, I just had a bag of cheesies over the weekend.

What the hell, man? A bag of cheesy. You guys are buying cheesies in your adulthood. Oh, what? We're supposed to buy them by the tub. Are you against bags now?

Like a Cheeto? Yeah. Like a Cheeto. You're buying a Cheeto. Yeah. I was at a gathering and I brought Cheetos and you know what? They were amazingly popular. Yeah.

Graham, was it, how do you find like, um cheesy does it is it difficult for you or you know what actually i do find it easy that's the common mis yeah misconception out there is that it's not easy but i assure you there's uh oh man these jester cheeto was like the coolest guy before Maddie was even born. Yeah, yeah. But they taught you that in school. They taught you about Chester Cheetah.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. No, she went to a really poorly funded school. They hadn't updated the history books with Chester Cheetah. They were still talking about the guy from the Bits and Bites commercial. Who's the guy from the Bits and Bites commercial? Oh, it's a deep bowl.

It's a... Well, no, but he's got a pretty great voice. What does he say? He says, you can't get bored eating Bits and Bites snacks because your mouth doesn't know until it's all over. But he talks like this. You can't get bored eating Bits and Bites. But yeah, you wouldn't get bored eating bits and bytes but yeah you wouldn't get taught

that in school did he have a face or did he just have a voice yeah it was like leaning over a fence offering you bits and bytes

is what's in bits and bytes isn't it the same thing that she's describing no it's got shreddies

so this is another Canadian item it's sort of a it's kind of our our Chex mix. Yeah. So Shreddy Little Waffle-y guy. Yeah.

Cheerio. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Spicy Cheerio. Pretzel stick. Pretzel stick and a little cheese nubbin. Little bread dude. Little cheese bread dude.

Yeah. Nice. Like a Cheez-It, but a baguette, but mini. I was going to say like a goldfish, but like a little mini goldfish baguette but mini i was gonna say like a goldfish but like a little mini goldfish baguette um that sounds great uh what is your version of cheetos maddie i want they want to hatch this out wait i want to play fuck marry kill chester cheeso chester cheeto yeah okay yeah okay and i don't know captain crunch or would we want to stay in the chip arena Chester Cheeto. Yeah, Chester Cheeto. Kool-Aid man. Kool-Aid man. Okay. Yeah, okay. And, I don't know, Captain Crunch, or would we want to stay in the chip arena, chip snack arena?

Who is another, I mean, there are the Munchies, or there's that Humpty Dumpty guy. The Humpty Dumpty guy. I forgot about the potato guy. He's like. I think he's an egg. Cracker Jack is a person, or no? Crer jack is a person or no cracker jack is a person yeah cracker jack's a person yeah but made out of candy oh no he's a sailor it's nutty club that's a uh i want to include mr clean in this but that's just because i know what i would do

i don't know he seems stable i think maybe i'd marry Mr. Clean he's uh you know he seems like he's got a steady job he keeps it tight and uh and he's always he's always in to help with the cleanup so I think maybe maybe I'd marry Mr. Clean for sure I'm fucking Kool-Aid man because because when he uh orgasms he says oh yeah so that's that's what I'm fucking Kool-Aid Man. Because when he orgasms, he says, oh, yeah. So that's what I'm there for. Who doesn't? Presumably you fuck your husband, though, too, you know? No, no, no, not in this universe.

We're in a loveless marriage. You're in a loveless marriage? But that's the whole point of Mary, like in the fuck, marry, kill part. We used to play a fuck, marry, kill in our yard, but there was a child that loved to climb into our tree and listen to us talk. How old were you then? I was 25. She was like six.

This was last year? Yes. Me and Sophia, we lived in our house. So we were playing Fuck, Marry, Kill, but we didn't want to say Fuck, Marry, Kill, so we were saying Marriage, Perish, Cherish. Marriage, Perish, Cherish. Cherish was fucking. so we were saying marriage perish cherish marriage perish cherish was you know

it's so weird that like in the course of one's life you will uh you're there's a there's so many people that you meet and you you fuck a few of them you maybe marry one or two you probably don't kill any of them

well so true yeah you're right you You probably don't kill any of them. Well, true. Yeah, you're right. You know, I don't kill people, but I do. It's made them from my life. Oh,

it's now the hombre. How many people would you say you've ex-naid in your life? How many people have you like chopped right out? Are we talking in the low one figures? Are we talking 10 or more, 20 or more? It's a good question because I feel like there's people where you like drift apart and that's fine. And if you ran into each other at a coffee shop, that'd be okay.

You know? Yeah. But that's not cutting them out. Or people cut me out. And I'm like, yeah, get in, stay out. Yeah, I didn't want you here anyways. There's a lot of people who I at the time i'm like i'll never talk to them again and i've talked to them like this month i'd say one yeah i'd say one one

person i i would uh one there's only one person that has this person been on our podcast no okay there's only one person i can think of where if i saw them somewhere i would pretend i didn't know who they were that's weird yeah yeah i want people to know that i haven't done that with anyone so if i'm pretending i don't know you i actually don't really remember you no you do that to me sometimes like you're just like not wanting to chat i guess so yeah i feel like you can just walk fast and i be like okay i had a thing happen last week where somebody uh approached me and said do you know who i am and i was like whoa hey man like if you feel you have to say that like obviously i don't know who you are

but uh i feel like he must have clocked it in my eyes did you figure it out no he told me who he was oh and do you remember who he was uh he was a friend of mine's dad okay yeah that's such a dad move do you remember me this is a big and now i do it to kids this always if i was a stand-up comic when i was 10 this is what would have been my opener is adults love to go i haven't seen you since this is the first thing they go i haven't seen you since you were this big there is nowhere for me to go, I haven't seen you since, this is the first thing they go, I haven't seen you since you were this big. There is nowhere for me to go from that conversationally. There is nothing I, what do I, what do I, cool.

I don't remember that. You and I are on different planes. I was a different person. Yeah, I didn't, I didn't even have it in me to know you. You have no idea how fast my body is creating cells and yours are dying off and we're just too different we can't make this work do me the dignity of just introducing yourself again if you met me as a baby yeah what are you supposed to say though to a kid you're just supposed to be like hey hey man sorry your voice is cracking this isn't the first time

we've met but yeah do you remember me? I was walking down the street once, and I saw Maddie, and I stopped to talk to her. And she said she couldn't talk to me because she had already stopped to talk to someone else while she was on the phone with past guest Danica Thibault. Oh, yeah, that's true. Because I stopped to talk to someone, and then Danica on the... I could hear her coming through your earbuds saying, no, do not stop and talk to someone else. Danica goes, no, not another one. So you stood somewhere chatting with somebody while you had somebody on the phone.

I had run into Pat and Lizzie. And I had had like a brief like, I'm on the phone. And when I saw, and when I saw Dave, she,ave she she audibly went no you don't get another one or i'm hanging up harsh harsh but fair i think that's very true on if you're talking to someone on the phone they only get one stop and chat i don't think that i've ever been on the phone and had any stop and chats i would be like i'm gonna call you back or really yeah like how many phone calls do you take a day really yeah it's like my car is due for service i've been dugging that for weeks i was thinking about this the other day i since moving to la i've like been really off with my music and i used to

be like an oxford girl at a party and i would get the party going with the right song and I completely lost my ability. I'm clearing dance floors. I'm bombing in cars. It's so bad. And I think it's because I spend all my headphone time is on the phone with my friends from home. Instead of studying the newest beats and stuff like that. You should be putting on your new

podcast at these parties. Get people moving. Yeah, yeah. Just be like, you'll be like is this what is this this is this a sitcom or a podcast or what the hell are you listening to get some conversation going you know what i'm saying can we briefly also touch on the hell of launching two podcasts at once because people go i listen to your podcast and i i don't what i what i i say thank you but my head i'm, which one? Yeah, that does sound like hell. Somebody saying, I'm listening to a thing you made

and you being like, which one? I can't say which one. Which personality do I have to adopt? Yeah, exactly. I'm like, but also they don't, most people don't know about the other one. Whichever one they know, I don't know why, they don't know about the other one.

So then I have to use context clues. But you know what? I would say a phrase you could use is which one. Say that. No, you can't say which one. You can't say which one. That's like saying congrats on your Emmy, and you're like, yeah, which one are you referring to?

I have two. You know what I mean? Yeah, it's tough. It's a great accomplishment to have two premium audio offerings. We make this show every week, and I also make other shows. And some of the other shows do big numbers. Sure. Much bigger than this.

But anyone I've met, they only know me from this. Yeah. Same here. You know what? I'll plug your podcast when somebody says, I like your podcast. I'll be like, Maddie Kelly's I'll be like Maddie Kelly's. Which one of Maddie Kelly's do you like?

Here's what I've been doing. And I think this is what I've been telling people to do instead of if you're, if you like the show, which I hope you do. What, which one? Yeah. Which one are we talking about?

If you pop up for dinner, you like popcorn for dinner and you want to tell your friend about it. Don't say, have you listened to popcorn for dinner? Just be, just be like, you haven't listened to Popcorn for Dinner? Oh, that's, oh, you have to. That's like the show. Like, make it like when someone hasn't seen Succession.

Oh, yeah. Just be like, oh, oh, you have to. No, Popcorn for Dinner is like the thing. Right. If we keep doing that. Okay, I'll do that. Yeah, okay, I guess so. I'm not going to see any friends probably for, let's say, a month or so.

And I don't know how it'll come up in conversation that they haven't seen a show. Just be like, oh, like on Popcorn for Dinner. And they'll be like, what? And you're like, you don't know Popcorn for Dinner? Oh, episode six of Popcorn for Dinner? That's out today. Maddie, the show is called Popcorn for Dinner. It has a laugh track.

What was it like recording the show in front of a live studio audience? Well, Dave, you were instrumental in the implementation of the laugh track. Was I? Yeah. And you said that the, I remember you saying the daytime television laughs were better than the nighttime television laughs. I don't remember that. And I thought that was fascinating. Oh, because we had two libraries of sounds.

So listeners, I just want you to know we tried making this show with no laugh track. Yeah. That's not the vibe. The vibe was it needed a laugh track. And you're going to listen and you're going to be like, this laugh track's weird. Just give yourself like five

minutes. Five minutes you'll get used to it. And you'll realize how weird it was when we tried to make it without a laugh track. Yeah. And if you don't like the laugh track, that's okay. Not everything is for you. Uh,

there's people who like it. Um, our producer Tamara Black's mother is a big fan. Okay. What if somebody says, I like your podcast. And then you say, which one? They say popcorn for dinner, except the laugh track.

Then what do you do? Then do you have to justify the laugh track? Or how do you explain it to somebody? Because a lot of podcasts you may not know. No laugh track. No laugh track at all. Sure. If someone was to say, I don't like the laugh track I would say

you should hear it without the laugh track there you go yeah that's a clean answer and I also say guess what remember when

everyone oh laughter is stupid remember when the pandemic happened and all the late night talk show hosts had no laugh track and it wasn't as cool it's actually fun when people are laughing

and guess what it's it's own art form to implement a, to make it the laughter of non-knowing. And I think that our editors, Chris Kelly, Max Collins, Dave Shumka,

have done a wonderful job. You guys, this is a real loving. This is a real, like you guys are, you're vibing. This is good. Everyone's getting named and shamed.

The, well, I think it's great. I wrote a few episodes there's some great jokes in there it's fun, it's funny lots of past guest involvement Danica, story editor on all 10

you guys had Nathan here? no we haven't there's lots of people, lots of great yeah you totally should, he's so funny Peter Oldring's in it Charlie B. Foster you guys all know Charlie B. Foster Lots of great. Yeah, you totally should. He's so funny. Peter Oldring's in it. Peter Oldring. Charlie B. Foster. You guys all know Charlie B. Foster.

You gotta. Absolutely. If you have access to him, why not? You guys should have Ciara Bravo on, our narrator. There's a narrator that takes you through the whole thing. Yeah, Ciara Bravo. So that you know what's going on. From Wizards of Waverly Place is the narrator? No.

No? No? Is she not? Big Time Rush. She was from Big Time Rush. And and then she was in she's now in feature films she's a movie star sierra bravo sounds like something that like a military yeah yeah we got a problem sierra bravo she sounds like a movie star in like the 30s yeah or maybe she was conceived over c radio. Oh man, that'd be awesome. If your parents met, like one of your parents was a CB radio person, the other one was a trucker and they fell in love over CB radio.

They're both CB people. Yeah, exactly. Oh man, that's one for the ages. That's a sitcom that I'm writing. It's about two people who fell in love over CB radio. What's it called? They can't stop fucking. It's called CBGB because their name is Gordon and Barb.

So it's CB radio. Barb. Yeah. Barb. Barbara. Barbara. Well, my mother's name was Barbara. So they wanted to make it like a little bit different

But still a family name so I'm Barbara Yeah Barbara That's like Oprah She's supposed to be What is it? Orpa And the dad misspelled it on the birth certificate So how do you like that?

But is Orpa a name either? I don't know What do I know about names? I'm a Gordon and Barb kind of guy. Barb. Barb. Sorry. Yes, Barb.

This is funny because it does make you realize that names are not, you know, like Bart. That actually is a name. Yeah. But Barb is not even close. Barb? No, Barb could be a name. It sounds a lot like burp. It doesp i don't know if the people would want that or barf that's the whoever gets that name would be uh for a lot of teasing i guess okay but

here's the question i have okay here we go on about naming children as dave you name two children sure so everyone goes oh okay i want to name my not everyone goes but let's say i want to name my daughter poppy right everyone goes oh they're gonna call her poopy right is that really the worst thing on earth that if you get like it's not like exactly tormenting someone to slightly alter their name you didn't really keep me up at night that everyone called me maddie skelly but that's because maddie skelly that's fine what are you a skeleton that's fine poopy that's fucking gonna last the rest of your life no it's not it's not it's not gonna be like oh god like i i don't know i just feel like out of all the bullying that's just fine yeah everyone's got something and our our other daughter margo everyone calls her cargo and kids are constantly drawing pockets on the thighs of her pants which is yeah i can see she'll

she'll come back from that but it's gonna take some some therapist absolutely but you know like there's a there's a range of them there's like ones that are pretty harmless like maddie skelly that's nobody like what is that even that isn't even a thing and it's also your last name it's a very common name it's not like you could change it like i mean you could but it's like you know people don't usually make fun of last names and it doesn't it seems less personal also i'm surprised it wasn't saddy smelly yeah and you've got the double barrel yeah what was wrong with these kids and what were you graham did anyone make fun of your name graham cracker across the board

that was kind of the ongoing one that sounds like flirty to me it sounds flirty yeah yeah i was i it's true i was a i was a real flirt on the playground. Everybody knew it. I'd love to have you squish my marshmallow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You make my chocolate melt. Things like that. Are you not telling me that if someone was like, you can imagine it. Hey, graham cracker. No, it was our derision.

Hey, peanut butter sandwich or whatever you call her. I went to a gig. My widow graham cracker. I did a gig with a guy and uh we were backstage when we met each other and i said my name's graham and he kind of said like what i said graham like graham cracker and then he didn't talk to me for like an hour while the show was going on i was like what the hell is wrong with this dude and then uh then I said, he said, it's Graham, right? And I was like, yeah, Graham. He's like, I thought you introduced yourself as Graham Cracker,

and I did not want to talk to you. I thought that was your name. Like Carrot Top or something like that. That's so funny. Graham the Cracker. Yeah, Graham the Cracker. Exactly. I could come out and talk about some white things.

You know, mayonnaise, etc. I recently thought about that. I regret not doing, like, a funny name. Why not? Why the hell not? We should bring that back. For what? I think, yeah.

As your comedy person? No, no, no. What would be, if you had to pick a comedy name, what would it be? This is, you got to, first thing that comes to your mind, what kind of, what would be your comedian, your stage name? Mr. Fudge. Mr. Fudge is good. Please welcome Mr. Fudge. For some reason, the first thing that came to my mind was Belly Full of Laughs.

I don't know. Maddie Kelly Bell belly full of laughs wow yeah that is good you guys it is funny also when i was a kid i wanted to be an actress so badly and i spent my entire i spent so much time trying to think of which name will i go by as an actress like that's all it takes that's why everyone everyone fell in love with the name Florence Pugh because it's so romantic sounding. But I was going to be Madeline Rose Kelly. I got Madeline Rose Kelly printed on my headshots. My first acting credit is Madeline Rose Kelly.

I was going to be like, I wanted to win an Oscar, like Madeline Rose Kelly. And I just went to an open mic, was going through a breakup, didn't think about it, wrote down the thing that everyone calls me, Maddie Kelly, and now here we are. But you're always going through a breakup. Didn't think about it. Wrote down the thing that everyone calls me, Maddie Kelly. And now here we are. But you're always going through a breakup and that's just that you're perpetual.

Except the last time you were on the show, I believe. You and Graham have all these. This is a good update. This is also why I'm invited back so soon. Yeah. You and Graham have all these bets usually about celebrity love lives and Maddie's love life.

Yeah. And it's a $20 on the line graham's always like you're gonna be you know in a couple next time we talk this this money is on maddie kelly getting back together with her ex that's the smart money in vegas everybody's saying the odds are really great. I think you've been single every time you've been on the podcast except last time you told us. It felt very season finale vibes. It was like I was back in Vancouver and I was

like, guys, I have to say after all these years, I have finally found love with past guests. Named him, gave his full name. I wrote now. Everyone knows.

Is that what, uh, broke you guys up? Was he like, why the hell do you talk to me on a podcast? And then we broke up 15 minutes later, 15 minutes after you appeared on the podcast. I walked,

I put my headphones down and walked into the parking lot and we broke up and he wasn't he was uh in calgary and you were in vancouver how did that happen he flew to vancouver just to break up with you yeah big romantic gesture yeah yeah the run to the airport i want to bring up you everybody applauds holding up the boombox with your the song you hate the dance floor clearer yeah so so you know it was a fake out it was not a season ender where the show it was not a series finale of Maddie Kelly dating life it was another

season now we're in LA yeah but you know what smart money smart money is on next time I talk to Maddie did you see how big I just sighed I literally went like what why what did you sigh about I'm an old maid I'm an old maid now yes you're your

spinster and so you might as well just get... I have no money and no prospects. Yeah, Google, you know, do some glassblowing. Really find yourself. You shouldn't option this podcast for some magic beans. Old maid. So true. Jack and the Beanstalk, he made a great deal. Everyone thought he was so stupid. But he got this

gold goose laying egg bitch. You know what all his friends in school probably called him was Jack and the Beanstalk. Yeah, because that's what he was. Oh yeah, he's been Jack and the Beanstalk. He's been Jack and the Beanstalk, yeah, yeah. So are we betting again? I feel like I...

Well, what was the bet last time? Was the last bet that you would still be... That wasn't... Didn't really feel like... The last time I think it was... We've definitely lost track of who's won and who's lost. I've lost. You lose all the time and Graham doesn't let you pay him.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I owe Graham like 60 bucks for... So I'm going to say calendar year, Maddie Kelly has another romance. Whether with past partner or future partner, LA, there's a lot of diamonds in the rough there in LA, you know? Yeah, there's some fixer-uppers for sure.

What, is there a celebrity couple we want to hone in on? I don't know anybody that I've kind of been surprised that they're together. I saw Machine Gun Kelly in a restaurant. Oh, shit. Was he jumping on the table and going crazy? He's so punk. No, he was just being regular. What was he eating though was it something rebellious he was just he was leaving as i was i was sitting down i sat down it's kind of like a business lunch

i didn't really want to be we want to be in the machine gun gallery it would have been a good scene in a show where it would be a good it would be a good like sketch where one person is trying to talk about podcasting and the other person is trying to figure out if machine gun kelly is currently in los angeles and you could have you could have got he had an in with him because you're maddie kelly so you could you could have like that would have been actually a pretty good comedy name for me machine gun kelly yeah yeah machine gun smelly crazy um uh okay i've looked up uh 34 unexpected celebrity couples okay um okay wilma and fred fl. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

They're strange because they're in an open thing with Barney. Yeah, but she's so naggy. Yeah. But they're not a throuple. They're a fourple or whatever you want to call it. Eric, Andre, and Emily Radajkowski. That was over, like, really fast. This is from February 14th of this year. So do you guys want me to tell you what happened there?

Yes, please. Okay. So on Valentine's Day, we get a hard launch of this relationship where I can't remember who. I think he posted a picture where she's taking a selfie. He's naked on the couch. She's naked and you can see her reflection in a mirror and there's emojis over his genitals oh they didn't have blurred lines thank you nice very good they don't this is this is the launch of them everyone's chatting chatting chatting and being like why did he post it but it's

her selfie did she want to do that who are these people emily redikowski from the entourage movie and the blurred lines video oh i see yeah i would say one of the biggest she was in gone girl yes yes yeah yes and eric andre legendary comedy god yeah so what the hell man do you think then a week later she posted tiktok which is like it's the audio was something to the effect of like what do you do when you do this and then it's like do this and then she's like no i do this and what she's the hell are you talking about anything like this if you're sick comes anything like this it's riveting no she goes she goes like what do you do when a situationship ends and then it's like get it processed healthily and then she's like what do you do when a situation ship ends and then it's like get it processed

healthily and then she's like no get another situation ship so everyone's like oh it's over and then i don't think we've heard anything since okay okay so well so it seems like maybe the hard launch was not it was soft it was um too much maybe not consented to is right. Maybe. Huh? Oh, okay. We were, do you guys know the con? Do you guys know the concept of hard launch, soft launch,

et cetera? Um, I don't, I have a soft lunch cause I just went to the dentist. Well, I'm going to jump off this call. Yeah. End meeting.

End meeting for all. Yeah. I mean, it's something like theirs was a hard launch because it was like provocative and out there, right away. We're together. No, no. Graham, you're so fucking stupid.

Dave, do you know what a hard launch is? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, you know what I can't have right now because I just went to the dentist. Stop. What? Tell me. Tell me. me okay so like launching a significant other is basically like announcing on it on social media that you have someone which will eliminate you know prospective people from in your dms etc etc etc that you're announcing you have a

boyfriend right or a girlfriend or that's what i said no but you do this concept of between soft and hard is like a soft launch some people we were actually having a large argument about this the other day we're having a large argument about it right now yeah that's right yeah but you guys don't even know what you're talking about so you can't debate back yeah but we're we're bored okay fine stay in the. Why don't we do some jokes on cryptocurrency? That's what you're comfortable with. I'm so comfortable with it. I'm glad we did because they would have aged well. Yeah.

Wasn't there like a stadium that was owned by a cryptocurrency? Yeah, Crypto.com Arena. Yeah. I was there the other day with Ben Fawcett, who's on the show. Went to a Clippers game. Oh, Clippers. Okay. Tell me, we got to close this hard, soft lunch loop. Yeah. who's on the show what do i clippers oh clippers okay um tell me what do you know we gotta close

this a hard soft lunch loop yeah so soft launch is kind of like either you post you could post a picture i'm actually not even know the answer to this soft launch i think is when you post let's say you post a picture of holding someone's hand but we don't know whose hand it is okay so you have a boyfriend but we don't know who it is or inversely i think a soft launch is when you post a picture of someone but it's not immediately canon that you're in a relationship like maybe you're just friends right maybe you're supposed to or they just keep showing up in your post but they haven't yeah exactly um a hard launch is like either it often happens on a valentine's day birthday or anniversary or it's just a post or thing that's

like this is the person i'm dating point blank this is my boyfriend um i hard launched malik pretty early because i wanted my reply guys to stop and leave me alone oh let's count down your top five reply guys and he became you know part of part of our history we talked on the pod but you're now you're hard launching that you're single reply guys get at her yeah well the thing is i said on valentine's day by by not posting him it was clear i think to anyone who was who was paying attention to the mad heads out there oh my god god, I didn't post my wife on Valentine's Day. Are we soft, broken up? Yeah, she's quiet

quitting you. Oh no. Valentine's Day is this incredible day where you get to find out if your celebrity crush is in a serious relationship. And if somebody, a copycat killer, is doing the Valentine's Day massacre. But here's what I don't know. Where does Be Real fall into this? The rapper from Cypress Hill what i don't know where does be real fall into

this because i believe the rapper from cypress hill i don't know if he's doing anyone that's yeah that's what i was wondering a be real could be hard soft i don't know it's kind of wild wild west i don't know be real my wife is on be real but she only has like a select group of friends that is for it is it not broadcast depends on your vibe on it some people have like two people on their b-roll just people like more who's got the most on b-roll ellen dj callan i don't know what you guys are talking about this is round two of me and i don't know what the hell you're talking do you know b-real is graham no b-real is a thing where you get a notification on your phone that says take a picture of where you are right now.

And also a selfie at the same time. Oh, that sounds like hell to me. That sounds like the worst possible app. Worse than Tik TOK. Worse. If you have to do a selfie, every time I puke,

I hate it with you. It's always like the, where am I right now? It shows the toilet stall and the selfie is your face. The toilet stall at the mall. There's like, why is he always in the mall toilet stall well that's the thing about be real that's why i got rid of it once i knew

what everyone's tv looked like and the surrounding plants and books i was kind of like all right i didn't realize my friends were home so much to be honest i was like okay we got a lot of home bodies on our hands that's what your whole sitcom's about so true no they go out they go out in our show yeah they go dinner Dave what's going on with you my friend oh you know I just soft launched this podcast which one

good good yeah which one both but what's going on with me is well we did the Max Fun Drive last week yeah and but last week. Yeah. But last week, while that episode was coming out, I was away. Yeah, that's right.

It was spring break for kids here in Vancouver, and I'm a dad here in Vancouver. And so we left Vancouver, and we did what we do every spring break we go to palm springs and uh incredible it was cool it was well it wasn't like hot it was cool it was actually just real real sunny and not too hot nice is there uh what's the pool situation the pool situation at this place was there was a pool with a hot tub, but the hot tub was above the pool, so you could squirt water from, you could, we had these squirters to squirt water back and forth between the hot tub and the pool and have little

squirting games. And what they do, this was my fave as a kid, go in the hot tub, heat up, run and dive into the water, cool down. Yeah, we did that. Yeah. That's fun. It was an Airbnb, so it was my dad my mom uh my sister and her husband and their kids and abby and our kids and so uh but my dad had to every day text the guy

who owned the place and say hey can you please turn the hot tub on? Because he did it all with an app. Oh, yeah. Okay. Now, you guys all cooking dinner together? We're cooking dinner together some nights. We did a lot of, we went to, you know, California Pizza Kitchen. We went to Cheesecake Factory. Oh, what's that like? Tell me all about that.

I haven't ever been to one. Oh, really? Well, you go in. It's right across from BF Chang's. Oh, you got to do both. Do one then the other, right? Dinner and dessert. And then you go in.

There's a big case full of cheesecakes. I ignore it. I don't like cheesecake. I'm one of the golden girls. And then you go, you sit down yeah they bring you a menu the menu okay wait do you walk in and sit yourself or do you have a hostess hostess hostess and buzzer thingy if there's not enough room for you yet ah yeah a little deeper we so they don't take reservations of our size there were 11 of us they don't take reservations of our size after five o'clock but what we did is we made a reservation for five o'clock and they hold every

reservation for 15 minutes so we showed up at like 5 10 we got seated at 5 15 we uh our food didn't come till six it was perfect okay gorgeous and uh what are we talking everybody gets a cake everyone gets a slice of cake well the the they call it the Cheesecake Factory, but all the food, they have all kinds of food. It's got the biggest menu. It's like the opposite of Kitchen Nightmares where Gordon Ramsay is like, get rid of these things that aren't your specialties. They're like, nothing's our specialty. Well, cheesecake, right? Wrong? Is that not? Yeah, they definitely have cheesecake. But is it not yeah they definitely have cheesecake but is it

i don't like cheesecake i didn't have oh neither do i but if i'm gonna go to a place that's got it in its name you know i'm gonna go to carl jr burgers i'm gonna have a burger carl jr burgers carl jr's burgers or you know it is i always find it really tough on a restaurant menu that's like do you want a pasta or do you want a burger do you want bang bang shrimp you're like i don't know where to start here i had a pasta and i had avocado egg rolls nice interesting um it was sort of a fusion little fusiony is it silly in there is it like a silly no it's very serious very somber it's like big that's what i would describe it as it's like big chandeliers and big tables but there's not like wacky stuff around no okay it's very um morose it is uh it is kind of like gothic yeah it's a goth restaurant okay so you're telling

this is a goth cheesecake restaurant yeah can't seat 11 they can't do a reservation for 11 but it reminds me of the goth family in the sims a little bit how they have their like big furniture sure it's vampiric so the furniture is oversized and there's kids? Is it a lot of families? Is that a lot of booster seats going on? I don't know. This was a great... Every vacation we've ever taken up to this

point has been kind of a headache because when you have kids going on vacation isn't really a vacation. It's just taking care of your kids in different cities. Yeah. But this was like the first time no one needed a booster seat. The kids could like go to a kid's table by themselves and leave us alone. Wow.

Yeah. And they loved doing that, eh? I mean, I think so. Over there, put like sugar in your milk your milk oh and you could give them a fake credit card and they could fake pay for the that'd be fun i did feel like i did have to go over when the way the server went over to their side i had to like just like just check yeah yeah my kids are gonna be too shy to actually talk to a grown-up so i'll do i'll handle this but oh i thought you were worried like they're both ordering two full cheesecakes.

They're going to order steak tartare. Yeah. Steak tartare from the kids' menu. They should do that. There's always, like, a little gourmand kid, you know? Yeah, a little foodie. Yeah. Augustus Gloop, I think, would be the gourmand of literature. Exactly? Yeah. A little foodie. Yeah. Augustus Gloop, I think would be the gourmand of,

of literature. Exactly. Yeah. But does Augustus Gloop like, you know, uh, you know, a balsamic reduction.

Yes. He likes, yeah. He's always talking about Patashu and, uh, he wants to leave the stuff sous vide. Yes, yes,

yes, absolutely. Um, the, uh, we went to IHOP one time, uh, because it was a rainy day and the, the Airbnb had cleaners coming every week.

So we had to get out of the house for the cleaners and we couldn't go to the pool cause it was rainy. So, uh, we went to IHOP and my, I was sitting next to my mother and I could see this guy coming when he entered the restaurant And it was like a Enormous biker looking dude 6 foot 5 300 pounds, big tough guy Head shaved and tattoos

Like stylized electric bolts All over his scalp Tattooed on This guy rules, you can establish that And he enters the restaurant and enters my my mother's field of vision and she just goes real subtle like she's never seen a person act a little different and then she said dave take a picture of him. No. Thank you.

Take a picture. And I wouldn't. Good. I refused. She didn't take her own picture. Yeah. You're so, feel so strong about it. This is an IHOP.

The one thing that makes me go into 12 year old, mom, don't mode is if my mother tries to take pictures of me in public right yeah it's like my friends say I take pictures of her like it's normal but something about it triggers such a like don't make it seem like this is a special meanwhile people take 100 photos a day nothing special

but you know when you're a kid and you're like don't acknowledge I've never been here before I'm trying to be you know like you're just trying to be so casual everywhere but you've never worn that outfit before i know but i want it to look like i have yeah you look i just think you look beautiful you want to remember this don't don't don't i don't want to remember anything yeah i want my brain wiped yeah dave do you have something like that aside from your mother wanting to take photos of a tattooed man oh every time everything just an open i'm every time i'm around my family i'm a 12 year old boy again yeah i think i turn into a 16 year old whenever i'm around my my folks

especially at their place because i'm just like it's the same place i was 16 in so just revert back to uh lying on the couch for hours and hours on end being sad yeah exactly yeah um the other thing we did uh one day we took the kids to the go-kart track room this is fun it was very fun there was a place that had like go-karts and an arcade and mini golf and bumper boats, but none of that stuff was any good compared to the go-karts. We just wanted to do go-karts over and over. Did you, is this like a go-kart small enough that your kids can control one? No, they were too small. They, no, we had, there were some two seaters.

Okay. So you would drive and they would be just. Yeah. Just like. You know, navigating. Stone faced. But, oh man, it was great. Like just, you're not allowed to bump other people and other people.

Your first, your first lap, you're like kind of feeling it out. But from then on, you're going full out the whole way. Don't press the brakes at all. Don't like like i never even lifted my foot off the gas just taking those corners so tight i i only will do it if you're allowed to bump because uh that to me is most of the fun is trying to make somebody spin out what you would have uh what would have happened to you is there was a guy handing out uh as he was seating everyone in their their go-karts uh he was handing out hair ties for anyone whose hair was too long you had to have a bit in a ponytail well that's that's just fun that's just the that's added fun yeah put

it in a ponytail i like that ponytail job um maddie go-karts, yay or nay? I think nay. Yeah? How come? Maybe if I was allowed to be alone in there. Yeah, you are. I could rip around. Oh, but like no other cars. I feel like I always get squished into a corner by accident, and then I can't get out of it, and then it's over.

And I'm always like, oh. How many times have you done it? A lot. Really? I'm definitely going. Something about me is i'm definitely going to the county fair every year oh yeah me yeah you're gonna go to county fair you're gonna see weird al you're gonna eat a cork dog well also malik didn't drink so a lot of our dates were like very fun because if you don't drink you'll be like let's go to the batting cage instead

you know interesting i would just say let's go to the batting cage instead. You know? Interesting. I would just say, let's go to the Cheesecake Factory. Let's just go get drunk and go to the batting cage. No, but you don't. If you're drinking, you just go to a bar. No, but I snuck some earlier. I'm drunk already before you're suggesting we go do anything. Yeah, and they don't have a breathalyzer at the go-kart guys like to drink before a movie or during a movie no no uh you know what there's a

movie theater up the street i'll sneak a beer in too i don't uh i don't like drinking and then having to do any other like drinking and getting on a plane or right like it's got to be just that's just what i'm doing for a while and i'm not uninterested in having some kind of drink and then go have to pay attention to something no way yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm curious about this for myself because for someone who purportedly doesn't like doing it i sort of do it a lot i think i get off on like sneaking something in there i think that's kind of the rush for me. Okay. I also like the beer and popcorn combo. Yeah, go to

a baseball game. How about that? I do. I will and I do. Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks. Do you care if I ever get back? No, I don't give a shit, dude. Oh, fuck. I'm here to root, root, root for the home team, bro. Sure. Thank you for Canadians. begin their season this week

I believe go boys go go local baseball I bought tickets for this is something stressful about my life is that of course I'd like to sort of have a Carrie Bradshaw dating a Yankee moment right I think that would be a good thing for me to do right now to date some professional athlete make everybody who's ever wronged me jealous.

So you're going to date... Guess what? These guys are all like 21! Yeah. Why was I not trying to do that when I was 21? Why was I trying to date 45-year-old comedians? Wow, that was a mistake on your record. I did it all backwards. 45-year-old comedians are always there.

You only have one season. You have two seasons of hometown baseball. You don't want to date a professional athlete. There's a lot of... You're going to have to turn a blind eye to a lot of... This guy who stopped going to school when he was 15 and made millions of dollars. Maybe not a great person.

Yeah. I feel like I don't want to date one, but I like to be seen with one. I think that was... I have a big stepping out fantasy. Hey, honey, could you take off your Blue Lives Matter hat while we're at the Cheesecake Factory? And do you mind walking around in your baseball outfit so that everybody knows? Maybe carry a bat over your shoulder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you guys seen Full Swing on

Netflix? No. Is that the one about the glass onion? No, it's about golf and I realized that I think I would like to be golf wife because those are the best outfits of all the wives. All the sports wives. I'd like to wear those

outfits. That sounds fun to me. Golfing is not my cup of tea. But I believe hanging out at the golf course. Drinking my little gin and tonic outside. That sounds really fun to me. Yeah. That's most of golf. That's something you can do while drinking.

Golf. It's a lot of fun. Doesn't matter. Unless you're super competitive. But then. People are super competitive, I'm over them. I'm not going to be good enough at golfing to play golf because I would be

embarrassed. They would be taking me so long and everyone, I go play through a play. I am slow. The times I've got them slow. I've hit a lot of people with my ball. I yell for, these are great.

These are great golf things. You hit it into the rough. You can get it on the green. You know, in soccer, they call their wives and girlfriends wags. Sure, for wives and girlfriends. Oh, cute.

And what are hockey wives? They're just called hockey wives. I guess so. And what about puck bunnies? No, but puck bunnies, not your relationship. Isn't a puck bunny just like somebody's making the rounds oh yeah someone who shows up at the where the players all hang out after the game yeah yeah exactly at the cheesecake factory oh we don't do we can't take reservations for a whole team but uh yeah literally actually that that's kind of funny where it's like where do they hang

out they need a big group you know they hang out in some establishment we're not allowed into i saw so i used to listen to tom likus who was a uh before podcasts existed i like talk radio but tom likus was a bad man uh who would just uh his whole thing was Likus 101, how to get the most sex for the least money. So this is like the frugal person's guide to sex. Well, I find I'm dating this woman. She wants me to take her out on so many dates and we don't even have

sex every time and I gotta spend all this money taking her on dates. And so, but You said this guy was a bad man and i'm not hearing this is good this is good content and uh he has rules like hey no single moms it was like but one of the things i heard him say was okay find out where the hockey players hang out after the games put on get a bad haircut put on a bad suit a lot of these guys are have are fresh off the farm and so get a bad suit and a bad haircut and uh you know maybe some women will think you're one of the hockey players

and they'll let you have sex with them without spending any money. There was a documentary that I watched and, uh, they interviewed a stripper and, uh, she said the people who tip the most by like by a country mile, uh, are football players because you can't, you can't see their face during the game.

So this is their way of making a big impression is giving them a lot of money to, to show like, I have money. i am famous but uh you've never seen my face before so sure yeah that's why i tip big uh because i've been uh i wear a mask at all the sports i play i'm the mystery uh the unknown unknown batter that they, they have on every baseball team. Yeah. Instead of a numbers question mark. So, yeah, had a great little trip to Palm Springs. And now we're back in the city and it's beautiful.

Spring has sprung. I wonder if what Graham's going to talk about is the thing he talks about this time every year. Taking his folding chair to the park. quite yet but it's definitely you graham well as you said i i'm well i'm waiting and i'm ready to bring the chair to the park i went on a patio yesterday it was on a full patio is this literally what you were going to talk about no this is an important side uh story so i went on a full patio nothing like hemmed in or whatever like just a straight up patio felt really good just get my uh toes wet and i can't wait i'm going back to uh spring and summertime yeah next week it might snow but yeah that's true but uh take it while you can yeah show a little skin yeah and then that way i could uh you know get with somebody right and not have to spend a lot of money yeah i what i do is i wear the tank tops with the bra strap showing oh yeah that's is that is that a move or is that

the all saints look i got it from All Saints. Yes. Never ever have a heartbeat so hard. How many All Saints jokes did Dave try to sneak into the sitcom? Zero. What? Dave, I'm disappointed. No, my thing is I went to Toronto. I went to Toronto, Ontario, Canada. What for?

And in my capacity as a producer for the CBC radio show, The Debater, it was fun. It was fun to go there. But on the return, and this has been a long time since this has happened. On the return, I was there an hour early, breezed through security, like an hour earlier than you have to be there. So I was there for like two hours before the flight. Went through security so fast.

Everything was perfect. Had a meal, and we're ready to go. Flight's delayed. Flight's delayed by an hour. Okay, that's fine. We can just hang out for an hour. No problem. Hour comes around.

Flight's delayed another hour. Okay, so we're starting a sense of pattern here uh so i'm like we can kill another hour that's no we just killed an hour we can kill another direct flight drawn no vancouver this is direct yeah and then uh at the end of that hour two hours added on so now we're at we're at four late and uh and then another two hours added and at this point like i've already eaten a meal i'm hungry again i've now they've been delayed two whole meals and uh finally i got on and you know they were not sure that they were going to make the flight out and then i was like what are they what is that what do they do when it's at night and people are there to catch a flight and the flight doesn't happen do they pay for you to go to a hotel or

well we were delayed we flew through edmonton on the way back and they gave us uh but we were delayed uh right they knew like i woke up the morning of our flight to the notification saying not even saying your flight's delayed. The first thing I saw was, here are four meal vouchers. Fuck. Yeah. There was no meal vouchers. There was nothing.

There was no compensation whatsoever. And they didn't really apologize that much. They just said it matter-of-factly that it's now another hour. And you know what? Airport food, oh, famously very expensive. I don't know if inflation's done something to this, but it is galactic. It is like a completely different world. I had a burger and a beer.

Literally that. Burger and a beer at a restaurant. What was the total? What do you think the total was? Oh, that's got to be no more than $22. it the canuck bar no this was in toronto uh the canuck bar didn't take toronto uh 50 bucks no yes i was gonna say 40 uh well and that's with tip But 50 bucks And We We Had four vouchers

$15 vouchers We went to The Chili's In Edmonton Airport Yeah All four of us Ate For

$55 And you know what I gave a big cash tip Because our server Was pregnant Oh Nice I wonder if that gets bigger tips.

Oh, yeah. She's totally not pregnant. She's got a basketball under there. Yeah. A rego for tips. It's not like you're coming back tomorrow to find out. She's been pregnant for 10 years. Oh, my God.

It's an airport. That's so true. Yeah. It's, anyways. But you know where else i ate in edmonton best edmonton mall no no in the airport oh wayne gretzky's no where oh uh i don't know cookies by george oh cookies well that's yeah you love cookies by george that's just a given they give you one as soon as you get in the airport everybody all right well you didn't guess it uh yeah so uh and then i got on the flight and you know i i'm not a big proponent of like

getting something to go to bring on the plane uh like if it's something very benign then i think it's fine but the woman next to me like I don't know what the fuck she was eating, but it was the most pungent, powerful smell food. Like, I don't know if she will, I can't imagine what kind of cuisine it was, but it was just. She's got one of those rotisserie chickens from the grocery store. Yeah, she's got a whole rotisserie chicken. Stuffed with blue cheese, and it just.

stuffed with blue cheese and it just um yeah so that that was my uh that was my weary flight back to vancouver and then when i got to vancouver you had to add uh or you subtract three hours but it was still like 10 to midnight and there were people just hanging out in the airport and i was like huh i wonder if they're just from the city and they're hanging out because it's warm and it doesn't really close. Because I can't imagine anybody's flight was happening at midnight. But there was a guy there sleeping in a sleeping bag. So what do you guys think? What's your read on that? Why are there people that are hanging out at the airport late at night?

Yeah. The sleeping bag, I can't figure out. Yeah. Yeah. The sleeping bag, I can't figure out. Yeah. I had a similar experience with LAX Airport where I was in a terminal I'd never been to my entire life, which was like going back in time terminal. Like it was like really old fixtures because it was flare.

So it was like the worst area of LAX. And there was a lot of people in there. And I was like, these people have been here for years. They didn't have luggage. They had bandages on their arms. I was like, they got in this area and this is their place. This is their ecosystem. They think this is the waiting room for the ER. Yeah.

It was fascinating. These were wearing wigs. It was like David Lynch airport terminal. Sounds like the Walking Dead airport terminal. And when I was there, my flight was delayed 14 hours 14 hours yep did you stay there the whole time or did you leave and like i'll come back no this was my flight that uh got me to eventually got me to my breakup but it got me to vancouver sort of a direct line from this flight to my breakup um but it was delayed and then we got

me on another flight and i had to my i had checked luggage because coming home for a month with all my christmas presents so i had to go oh you get my bag that's weird i didn't don't remember getting a christmas present well i got well you'll find out in a minute because it might i had to go get my bag and go back through security in a different terminal in the airport this whole day was uh 15 000 steps um all of which were in the lax airport and they my bag didn't get pulled and so i had to get on my i would have missed my other flight so i had to get on my plane knowing my bag was lost at lax fuck and then one of those bandage guys is probably rummaging through it getting your presents and then i got it like five days later

yeah so i don't remember getting a present five days after that so we go the breakup app the breakup app it's actually funny breakup happens and i don't have any clothes so i just had to wear the clothing that i was wearing during the breakup for three days like it was just never ending your mom keeps trying to take pictures of you yeah i want to take a picture of you in your breakup outfit yeah exactly yeah i do like the idea of like getting broken up with somebody in a particular outfit and then that outfit is cursed from now you still have that outfit you still wear those things i'm wearing it right now really i can't get over it no but it's it was just jeans and a T-shirt. Two bits. Yeah.

And a jacket. Yeah, I had the thing when I was starting out in comedy. If I bombed in an outfit, that was the end of that outfit. I would never combine those two things the same way again. They were just like, that idea, that outfit, done. Quit. I agree. agree yeah i'd do that so have you done have you thrown out these breakup clothes or you one of my favorite jeans i mean you gotta move on wash and move on folks yeah just a quick spin cycle and away you go uh wash them

i'm gonna wash that man right out of my jeans and also like i agree though they don't compensate you very well. Because they're supposed to, I mean, firstly, they should have refunded the plane that I did not get on, which got delayed a million hours. You're entitled to that. You're entitled to meal vouchers, nothing. And you're also, I think, entitled to they lose your bag to something, which is kind of a thing. But you didn't take up on any of these. I emailed and everything, but I'm not i'm not gonna chase it down you know there's a uh

as we were our flight was delayed in edmonton we were uh i discovered that if you google your flight number it'll tell you what's happening and it'll also say hey your flight might be delayed because this other flight that it's actually using your plane is delayed and you click on that one and then it'll say oh by the way the flight that this one was for the flight before this one also delayed so yeah you can kind of uh you know be a detective and you yeah i can't do anything about it is whoever put this uh thing forward is a real dorkus that i had to keep on top of this plane, that plane. And then it just says what the planes are, and then you do the math. Is that how it works?

Well, no. You click on the previous flight, and it says when it left, how late it was. You click on the previous flight of that, how late it was. Nice. Wow. Nice. I don't track. They have my number to text me that it's been delayed or has been canceled.

That's it. That's my only relationship with the airline. What do you do? Look at your phone? Yeah. Or just sit there with my eyes closed. That's, that's my airport passing the time.

Um, do you guys want to move on to some overheards? Splendid. I'd love nothing more. With max fun drive in the books, we'd like to welcome our new members and say thanks to everyone who's supported us over the years. Welcome. Thanks. And now on to the sticker sale.

A lot of this year's drive gifts and live streams focused on food. We love how food can bring communities together, but not everyone has access to the food they need. We love how food can bring communities together, but not everyone has access to the food they need. So we'll split the proceeds from our sticker sale among five U.S. food banks in areas disproportionately affected by poverty. The sale ends Friday, April 14th. Members at the $10 monthly level and above can purchase any stickers they'd like. There's also a special MaxFun sticker featuring Nutsy the squirrel that all members can purchase. For more info,

head to MaximumFun.org slash sticker sale. And thanks again for your support. A man was walking along a beach which represented his life. At his feet were two sets of footprints, his and God's. But looking back down the beach, the man could see that in the hardest parts of his life, there was only one set of footprints. So the man said to God, why is there only one set of footprints when times were hard? Where were you? And God replied, my precious child, I was in my car, listening to the Beef and Dairy Network podcast. was in my car listening to the beef and dairy network podcast the beef and dairy network podcast is a multi-award winning comedy podcast and you can find it at maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts overheard overheard if you hear it we want to hear it too that's the only way it's got to be and we always like to start with our guest maddie do you have an overheard yes i do okay so i'm

having a taco i'm in los angeles did i ever mention it was in los angeles okay i know you overheard you're having a taco you overheard a tiny little chihuahua and it said you get a taco bear i'm fine i wish i had come up with that these two women come out and i don't know why i mean i guess i was close to a movie theater i was close close to the los feliz movie theater and i don't know why i knew that they had just seen a movie if there was just walking in a way that i was like they just saw a movie and It was just walking in a way that I was like, they just saw a movie. And the woman goes, I thought it was going to be more sad. You know,

like I thought Pinocchio was going to die completely. I thought he was going to go through a wood chipper, that kind of situation. Yeah. Instead. I feel nothing. He turns into a donkey. He gets swallowed by a whale.

What am I supposed to emote? There was two Pinocchios last year yeah right yeah we went from zero pinocchios to two pinocchios i saw gamero del toro it was tom hanks yeah as uh i gotta say i mean i know this is from from being a fan of this show i know that there was a period of time where you guys were looking up the plot of Pinocchio every other episode. Yes. It was a big part. It was that and also the cast and characters of Grimace and Ronald McDonald. These are places you love to chat.

But I got to say, there is no Disney property I don't give a shit about more than Pinocchio. You don't give a shit about. I don't give a fuck about that little guy. Oh, you care more about the great mouse detective. Absolutely. Absolutely. A great mouse detective. Yeah.

My three favorite things. Mice detectives, greatness. What about a goofy movie? That sucks, right? No, everyone loves that.

Everyone loves a goofy movie. No, you're not going to keep going. You're not going to get one. You don't know the lore of the goofy movie. You're not a, uh, a goof movie. No. You're not going to... Keep going. You're not going to get one. You don't know the lore of the goofy movie? You're not a... A goofhead? Millennial.

You're not a true millennial. I'm not. I'm a cusper. No, I'm talking to Graham. Yeah. What do you mean you're a cusper? You straddle? I'm the cusper.

I'm the year that is the cusper between Gen Z and millennials because I remember 9-11, but I had Instagram in high school. That's the two criteria? I don't remember 9-11. What am I? I'm too young. What the hell? No, I'm old enough. I just don't remember it. Dave went into a fugue state. I forgot to say this. When we were leaving Palm Springs, they have, as you're going through security, they have a wall of just 9-11 stuff they've got uh

they've got pictures of the twin towers on fire they've got pictures of the plane going in like one one tower on fire one tower with the plane like seconds away where is this in the palm springs airport going through security and they've got a huge flag um two american flags one is like a special 9-11 flag 9-11 edition nice uh and they had they even have a photo of the moment where that guy's whispering in george w bush's ear i love jesus christ and it's the weirdest thing because you're like your kids are asking you, Hey, what's the,

what's all this stuff? And you're like, I can't talk about, I will tell you later for a couple of reasons. One, I don't want to freak you out before you get on a plane. And two, I don't want to be in line at security talking about hijack. Hijacking.

That's so terrorism things. I was on a plane where the kid behind me on the plane kept talking about bombs in the sky and the dad being like you can't say you absolutely cannot say that on a flight you were behind you but you were on a plane uh with the with andre 3000 and big boy and they kept talking about bombs over baghdad yeah and i was like and said, that's not appropriate, you guys. Also, why are you sitting in economy? Surely you're better than us, I would say. And they said, I'm sorry, Mr. Clark. Yeah.

Don't you call me Miss Jackson. I'll slap you silly. And they said another song. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They said, hey, yeah. Hey, yeah. Hey, yeah. They did it.

Hey, yeah. They karate chopped you. Good. Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah. Hey, yeah. They did it. Hey, yeah. They karate chopped you. Yeah. Good. Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah. This is one that is, this is, the kids say the darndest. They do. The truth of this.

Yeah. That's true. I was outside my children's school and there was a little boy who's known to me, but it's not my child, but I know this kid's a little rascal. And I was next to a mother who had her dog and he was petting the dog. And then he looked up to the mother and he said, and this kid's in grade one,

he looked up to the mother and said, are you an older? And she was like, what? And he said, are you an older? And she was like, what? And he said, are you an older or a younger? And she was like, me? I'm a grown up. He says, oh, you're so small. Whoa.

Yeah. You're never going to make it into an Olympic volleyball team. Yeah. Maybe you can do like the versa who runs the rowing team like when my cousin called my aunt a junior senior and she's never gotten over it she still talks about it because she's a small grown-up no because she doesn't want to be a senior oh she's she's on the cusp right she's baby boomer and whatever. She's a cusper, yeah. Well, when you're a junior senior, you can't stop the beat. Okay.

Kind of makes sense that I'm a cusper because my dad is the last year of the baby boomers. Okay. And the first year of the Gen X. And I'm the last year of the millennials. I think Graham and I, are we the last year of the Gen X start of millennials? We're cuspers because the year, the overlap is 80. So technically we're elder millennials, but I don't even know what that app is where you have to take a selfie. So like, yeah.

And I also went out when Buzzfeed would talk about how millennials like rugrats. I was like, if you say so, man. BuzzFeed would talk about how millennials like rugrats. I was like, if you say so, man. I think you guys are millennials because you have a podcast. Because what? You have a podcast? You have a podcast. Yeah, well,

that's true. Seniors can have them too now. Seniors are allowed. Hey, true. How come they should get some of them on there? But you had a boomer. Hey, true. How come we should get some of them on there? But you had a boomer. Hey, boomers, stop, you know, telling us to bootstrap ourselves and start your own podcast.

Start your own podcast. How about that? In my day. Bootstrap ourselves. My overheard tell me i was at i was at the dentist and you know dentist playlist pretty pretty obviously like 90s music right like oh you don't you don't make your own playlist for when you go no no they well i do but they don't want to put it on i'm such an ox girl ox accord girl at the dentist but i'm really like i clean i clear the dance floor and i clean your teeth yeah and uh it was uh just 90s stuff and then

torn yeah torn uh spawn uh spoon man um etc etc uh the and then at one point they played the monster mash in the middle of the sleep that's awesome and so they played the monster mash and then it went back to regular songs and the dental hygienist was like a lot of 90s songs hey and I was like did you

did you not notice the monster mash yeah that's what you're concerned about but it's such a funny it's just out of time you know what i mean it's just yeah it's unwholesome to hear a halloween song in uh in spring i like it because i'm a spooky person that's true you love jack skellington i love spooky stuff i'm always wearing fingerless gloves yes my favorite restaurant is cheesecake factory because it's so goth yeah oh yeah what is the goth it's gothic it's gothish that's funny that's the new abc sitcom yeah that's really funny um now we also have overheards sent

in by people all over on the map. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. And this first one comes from Chris in Ohio. I was at our company's office in Houston. Okay. Well, contradictory information. In Houston and sitting in a conference room. Yeah, exactly.

Sitting in a conference room as a temporary office. Some of my co-workers at that office were out in the hallway talking about pets when I overheard one of them say, I can't house train a spider. That's where I draw the line. That's awesome. Not cleaning up your webs.

Quite the mental image. He webbed on the newspaper like I taught him to. He webbed. He went. Oh, man. Make. Yeah. Make.

And yeah, if you like, do you put like tiny little diapers? And how many, like, because they've got all those legs, so they have to put on so many different. Oh, sure. And when they have their first heat, it's going to be a mess. Why don't they go to the... What do they do for the bathroom? I've never seen spider pee or poo anywhere. I think most insects, you're not going to see their pee or poo.

Yeah, and also I like that you're saying, well, I've never seen them pee or poo anywhere. Like, that's something you're on the lookout. I haven't seen it well no like in your in an average year like the average human swallows seven pounds of spider pee and poo but hang on a second this is maybe a google well yeah maybe let's all google um what are your search germs why why do spiders pee do spiders pee and poo there you go here it comes no spiders do not pee yeah they don't drink a lot of fluids just like any other animal spiders are not excluded from releasing waste their way of releasing their poop and urine is combined through one source from their anus. Nice.

Like a cloaca. Just like mom. Yeah. There is nothing like urine production taking place in a spider's body. There's nothing like it. When it comes to urine production in spiders, there's nothing like it. This next one comes from cory v uh i overheard a mom gently chastising her son saying just because squidward says it to spongebob doesn't mean you need to say it

that's so true words to live by i've never seen a moment of spongebob you should show it to your kids it's hilarious yeah it's funny and good yeah is it still ongoing yep i think so yeah i think maybe not well they just made a movie last year so no it's funny it's like uh uh it's written not for adults but as if adults would be watching it. As if. I love it. Yeah, me too. What is Squidward's deal? Why would Squidward say something to Spongebob? Squidward hates Spongebob.

He's kind of like an older, seen it all, done it all kind of character and is over everything. He just wants peace and quiet. Yeah, not bad. Spon wants peace and quiet. Yeah. Not bad. That's not bad.

SpongeBob wants more loudness. And fun. Yeah, and he wants to be a good hamburger cook. Yeah. To be fair to Squidward, he works with the guy and lives beside him. I would want that guy

dead. Yeah, exactly exactly he's fun to watch from afar but yeah if you had to have him laughing and also his cohort uh patrick is always saying something stupid does patrick have a job he doesn't work anywhere does he now he's dauber is that right he's dauber that is correct so true i don't think he does have a job. Huh. Okay. And what does he pee and poo? I've never seen that. Yeah, that's true. I haven't seen, honestly, I haven't seen most TV characters pee and poo. Like, does Kramer poo?

Yeah, Kramer poos. Oh, there's an episode where he, doesn't he get like diarrhea or he gets blocked up or something? Yeah, that's true. He definitely gets constipated for a few. That's a Google. No, Kramer does not pee. Oh, weird. Both pee and poo are combined for spider.

That's funny. This last one comes from Theo. On Popcorn for Dinner, you have the characters pee and poo a lot, right? Just so the audience doesn't get confused um it's a good point does anyone make any reference to either those things it's not really my bag tbh right my colostomy bag okay the only time i ever talk about p is if i'm making a uti joke which i do that a lot yeah sure it's uh it's your prerogative. Yeah. It's a needed joke. This last one comes from Theo in Edinburgh. I was at my local cinema

soon after this year's Oscar winners were announced when I heard two elderly patients behind me talking movies they wanted to watch. Sorry, patrons. Sorry. Elderly patrons behind me talking about movies they wanted to watch i heard one of them say there's this one film that won all the awards that i haven't seen

yet it was called something something something and something that's great because i know what he's talking about yeah you of course you know yeah everything name of that movie. All white on the western front. Yeah, everything, here we go, check it out. It's your time. The best? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I saw it. I actually saw it. It was a lot of fun.

It was fun, yeah. It was fun. I feel like, yeah, that's a movie you'd really like, Graham. Yeah, Graham, you should see it. I did enjoy it.

I cried. Yeah. Did you? There's very tender moments in it, so I can see that. I can see crying. I can see crying like a kid

could see dead people okay in addition to overhears that are written and we also accept your phone calls our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 that's one ugh spy pod one like these people have hi david graham This is a spider scientist. And I just wanted to correct you about spiders poop, and it's magnificent. If you did toilet drain a spider, would you want them to go in a box somewhere or go in the toilet and then pull the chain down or whatnot? But then you just hear phantom flushing all through the night and day

because spiders probably have to do it a lot, I bet. That's alright. It's their space. They should be comfortable to do whatever they're going to do. Make them go in a thimble. Nothing like that. Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Erin in Pittsburgh. I'm calling

in an overseen. I was just doing my grocery shopping and when I came out to my car, I saw a bumper sticker on another car that said, this car is not a safe place for Ed Sheeran. And then it had

the name Ed Sheeran with one of those red circles with the line through. Aww. Yeah, man. That guy. I don't know. I don't understand it. He's a pop culture figure. I cannot wrap my

head around why he is as famous as he is. He's so talented. I saw him open for Snow Patrol all by himself. Wasn't famous at all. It was incredible. Everyone was crying and freaking out oh okay uh well you just changed my mind there you go yeah he used to do he was like that you know when they do the loops yeah he still does he still does his shows by himself in like stadia

is that real i think so oh yeah yeah he does like the looping and then he just makes this like magic song and you love it yeah okay. Okay. Do spiders poop? Does Edgeron loop? Is the Pope Catholic? Does a spider shit his piss and poo in the woods? Does a spider use one hole? Yeah. Yeah.

I'd say so. Yeah, sure. Does a bear, does a spider poop out of one hole? Does a bear poop in the woods? Yeah. Yes, is the answer to all these questions do bears pee no constantly no have you seen cocaine bear he didn't pee the whole movie oh that's true uh well not on screen anyways no they never do that's the thing kramer never pees on the screen i want to see it show me kramer's pee i'm sure there's an ai bot that you can make that happen yeah do i play the

next phone call or do we see what maddie's googling well it's mostly it's all everyone wants to know about hibernation but i want to know about no yeah what do they do for those months that they're hibernating do they pee pee and poo then? Fat is metabolized to produce water and food, but instead of defecating or urinating to eliminate waste, bears recycle it. Their kidneys shut down almost completely, and urea, a major component of urine, is recycled into protein that maintain a bear's muscle mass and organ function. Oh, yeah. You know what the major component of my urine is? Sesame seeds. Just things that come out of a hole. Anyway. Hi, Dave, Brandon Guest.

I was at school today, and a woman in her 50s probably standing in front of me at the vending machine, and she had swiped her card, and it wasn't letting her make a selection is what I gathered. And she looked kind of flabbergasted and kind of threw her hands up in the air and then she goes, Activate! And yeah, I thought that was

pretty funny. She eventually got it figured out. And I kind of just pretended like I didn't hear it. Anyway, off I go. It's worth a try, you know, to say what's going to hurt. I don't think I've used a card for a vending machine still to this day.

I always try. It never works. I'm worried about identity theft. What if my name ends up on one of those coke bottles that has your name on it oh shit yeah that's how they track down a lot of crime criminals was

they baited them with their coke with their name that's very funny Osama Bin Laden share it with your friend Osama yeah gotcha share it with your friend the Unabomber

does he have a name Ted Kaczynski Ted Kaczynski okay here's your final phone call that's Ted Kaczynski PN Poop hey Dave Graham an amazing guest this is David from Portland Oregon calling from Overheard Channel phone call. That's Ted Kaczynski, PNPOOP. Hey, Dave Graham and amazing guest. This is David from Portland, Oregon, calling with an overheard.

I was just walking downtown with my daughter, and there were three guys past us on the sidewalk, and all I heard was one of them say, yeah, that's the kind of church where you have to do things and participate. I like a church where you don't have to do shit. All right, off I go. Was he talking to his kids? Yeah They're street wise

I'll tell you the kind of church I like The one you don't even have to go to Yeah I like a mega church Mega or nothing Give yourself over I want a cool Skater looking priest Absolutely I want a cool skater-looking priest.

Absolutely. I want to look over and Justin Bieber's there. Yeah, exactly. Throwing his hands in the air as they make... They do that at church a lot, right? Put your hands up.

This is a robbery. Have you guys ever been inside a church? A megachurch? Yeah, a megachurch. Oh, not a megachurch. I've been in a rego church. Nice. Regular. I used to go to hippie church when I was a kid. Oh, it was hippie church.

You know, a lesbian minister burning incense. Jesus is cool. Nobody's bad. Was this in a meadow or something like that or no it was on oak street okay i hate to tell you if it's on oak street it's a synagogue a lot of synagogues on oak street guys because i used to go it was it was like sunday school was downstairs the parents would be in the regular church and Sunday school is mostly coloring and they had peak greens cookies. Shit.

But then my dad had me on the weekends and then he hated the whole idea. So I didn't really go so much. Okay. Yeah. Moms love church. Moms love church. Yeah. Choosy moms choose church.

I just thought about right now, why was my mom going to church then? She doesn't go to church now. Like what happened you know I should ask her yeah I think she specifically liked that lady she's like just good

good talks you know she's just like we didn't have TED talks back then if you wanted to learn anything about how to be a person you had to go to church yeah

nobody tells you nobody talks about that that's true TED talks are probably why we're so secular yeah people don't go to church anymore because they have TED talks now they can watch Bobby McFerrin Nobody talks about that. That's true. TED Talks are probably why we're so secular. Yeah, people don't go to church anymore because they have TED Talks now. They can watch Bobby McFerrin play the audience.

Yeah, exactly. Last time I watched a TED Talk, 211. Oh, man, oh, man. Well, that brings us to the end of this here podcast. Maddie, tell us where we can get this sitcom. When we can get this sitcom. How do you get this sitcom? It's this popcorn for dinner.

Popcorn for dinner is podcast sitcom for you. I do the whole speech again. It's on wherever you get your podcasts. Spotify, Apple. But do keep in mind, we do watch out for the one that says a podcast sitcom because there are other popcorn for dinners out there. There are other popcorn for dinners. You can also find the link at my Instagram,

which is itsmaddykelly, I-T-S-M-A-D-D-Y-K-L-Y. And if you do listen, please write a little review because that's kind of the only way I know people are liking it. And because you can't, I can't watch you watch it, you know, like stand up. And then also it really helps the show. Send it to a friend that you think might, the kind of friend, you know, that puts on friends or Seinfeld or New Girl in the background while they do the dishes.

Send it to them. They might like it. Yeah. Sounds good. That's how I'm going to listen to it. Doing dishes. Doing dishes. Do your dishes.

Go on the bus. I'm also going to Vancouver, Toronto, Halifax, and Winnipeg next month. So follow me. Are you on a tour? Or is this just all like, is it a Maddie Kelly tour? Can you find out where you are? You can find out where I am. If you want to find out where I am,

by follow me on Instagram. Okay. Okay. Well, thank you for being our guest today. It was so much fun to see you. So, so close to the last time that we had you as a guest.

Yeah, it's fun. Thank you for being our guest. Thank you for having me. I feel very honored to come back twice in a year. and all you listeners out there check out that podcast check out let's make a rom com yeah and uh you know what check yourself out in a mirror i think you'll be pleased with what you see and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture.

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