Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 789 - Aaron Eves

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

Comedian Aaron Eves joins us to talk double church, six movies, and an Indian food snafu.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 789 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's going to tell you why 6 was afraid of 7, Mr. Dave Shumka. I hear you ask why 6 is afraid of 7. I'm here to tell you it's because 7, 8, 9. I don't know what song that is. I don't know what song it is either, but do you know the real answer of why Six is afraid of Seven? Whoa, nice belt.

No, Seven was a registered Six offender. That's pretty good, right? That's pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our guest today, first time guest here. I just also want to thank, before we get to the guest, I want to thank listener Tim M, we get to the guests, I want to thank, uh,

uh, listener Tim M who's been writing us for weeks. No, yeah, that's up. Say don't forget that seven 89 is coming up. Yeah. And then he wrote one this morning,

I think said like, I know you're going to try and fuck this up on purpose, but please don't. What song was I singing? I don't know. It was a real country western. No, I thought it was like King of Wishful Thinking. Never mind.

Go ahead. Do your thing. Our guest today, first time guest on the podcast, he is an actor. He is a writer. He is a comedian. So excited to have him here. It's Mr. Aaron Eves, everybody. Hello! Hi, Aaron. Thank you very much for having me on here, guys. so excited to have him here. It's Mr. Aaron Eves, everybody. Hello. Hi, Aaron.

Thank you very much for having me on here, guys. Thank you for being on here. This is fantastic. Should we get to know us? Yeah, man. Get to know us. Now, Aaron, do you know any number jokes? Oh, boy.

I mean, I know 69. That's the best number joke that I have. Yeah. And it's not really a joke. It's just like... It's real. It's as real as the nose on my face, man. When do you think in your life, looking back,

What is this question gonna be that you're first cognizant of 69 being a very hilarious number i don't like yeah i know like i learned 420 was pot in high school but did you know it as like i think like people kids on the internet will know it as a funny number before they know it as what it is. Yeah. That's true. I think it was definitely something that I didn't understand why people were laughing about it at first. Yeah.

And I feel like didn't Bill and Ted sort of have a 69 thing going? Yeah. That's true. And I saw that as a kid and didn't understand. Yeah. That was just funny. They were saying it in unison. Did not get it. yeah so i think i saw that as a kid and didn't understand yeah that was just funny they were saying i get it but i certainly i know that i understood it by grade 11 at least because i

remember that in grade 11 i saw a grade 9 student wearing a t-shirt that said something about 69ing on it and i took him to task over it i just like i and i forgot i just remember being like oh yeah you so you're wearing a shirt that has a 69 on it knowing he's in grade nine there's no way he's 69 by then uh so i accused him of like you know falsely boasting about something that he had never performed it's like it's like putting a dream or a wish on your shirt to make it happen and you're like if you prove it right now that you it's like the same thing with those old uh like big johnson t-shirts or something yeah no way you have a big john yeah we're all in grade six i first off i don't know how your parents let you

wear that in grade six but that's a child of divorce you cannot keep up that tent that you're camping in with your penis i'm sorry you can't you're in grade six in grade three i had a shirt a nike shirt and this was right when they began their just Do It campaign. And I had a shirt that said Just Do It on it. And this was, I mean, gangbusters. This went gangbusters. Because kids in grade eight, I'm sorry, in grade three, when I had this, kids knew what, they knew the idea of sex. And they knew that it was doing it. Yeah.

Like, that campaign should have backfired on nike yeah it's still being used today as far as i know yeah they're gonna actually what i think they're gonna do is they're gonna make a new a sequel to air uh and it's just gonna be about me and my just do it shirt matt damon's gonna play it's a featurette and they uh yeah yeah it's gonna be an animated do you think there will ever be a uh a no fear a biopic oh that would be amazing harder and faster like straight yeah like i would love seeing kids out there in the wild like teens they. They're wearing the no fear. They've brought it back.

I don't know. It went away personally. Yeah. I'm surprised we haven't seen a no fear documentary or have no. Here are the documentaries I want made. No fear. Uh, what were those bulldogs?

Chip and pepper, chip and pepper. Yeah. I want to see that. Uh, I don't know. Maybe a hyper color one yeah yes tnc surf shop sex i want to see the sex wax documentary mr zoggs the dark side of mr zoggs well because they did a uh they did a von dutch they did yeah they did an abramian fitch documentary the von dutch one is crazy what happens in the von dutch one i like i have it like goes back to like this guy who used to do

like hot rod cartoons and used to like fix up crazy hot rods and he was von dutch and somehow the company i think got like stolen away from him and uh and how it became like so popular and so unpopular like in just the same year like it was cool cool cool oversaturated not cool anymore so quick yeah paris hilton was played a big uh yeah ashton kutcher was there how is that not how has uh like have oakley's had to decline like i still see them around but uh i feel like i see them in like centerfielders wear them when they're tracking down by balls yeah it's mostly where i see them it's generally white i don't want to generalize about centerfielders or anything um but i i just i don't I think I might not like most people who find Oakley's aesthetically pleasing.

Yeah. But, you know, there's a practicality to them, too. So, I think, you know, they cover more surface of the eye. I don't know. I know that I worked with a guy who's in his early 20s, and him and his friends all call them speed shades. Nice. 20s and him and his friends all call them speed shades nice i think they should do what they like what's actually intriguing to me because i remember hearing like details about it at the time in the early 2000s the ed hardy shirts and the like mma what was the mma brand

uh oh what was it called not not tap out tap out yeah yeah i was gonna say choke out and i was like no that could be that and those shirts were like related somehow they made maybe they both had christian odigie designing them but i uh i want to know i want to you know give me that document have you heard um uh you know the comedian marty tops yes okay he does like musical comedy very funny guy friend friend of mine and he did a whole album a few years back about tap out gear a whole album just about tap out clothes wow and i and the lifestyle that goes with them so yeah there was a interesting like op-ed about like it took all this time for uh men who would be afraid of being labeled anything but heterosexual to wear like some kind of flair and but then unfortunately got got co-opted immediately by your FCC. Not FCC.

UFC. Yeah, the Federal Communications. Yeah, they won't let me be. Aaron, you're a first-timer on the show. April has been all first-timers. April 1st. It's April Fool's month. Yeah, we've had... No more fools.

Exactly. Let me go back to serious guests. Yeah, next week, Henry Kissinger. Yeah, and then we've got Sook Yin from CBC Radio and Much Music. Oh, she could be silly. Yeah, probably she could be silly. That was the serious person you came up with? Dave, to me, that's the most serious person I can think of.

So, again, Lee is the most serious person? Yeah. That's because, I don't know, man. I guess I'm just existing on a different plane. I don't know. It's just to me. Wow, this guy's over... This is a silly guy.

Aaron, where are you from? I am from Burlington, Ontario. Yes. What's the most famous thing from Burlington, Ontario? Oh, well, we like to claim that Jim Carrey is from there, but I don't know. It seems like

maybe he lived there for a few months with some extended family at some point. I don't know. Alder shot, you know, sort of in Burlington there. Yeah, but I don't think he would consider at home is there a bronze statue of him as the mask in the town center uh there is a clay pot with him engraved on the side of it uh cool but it is downtown nice yeah cool now according to his uh wikipedia he is from newmarket ontario his family

later moved to burlington where they would spend eight years eight years oh wow honestly i thought it was a few a few months but yeah and he attended aldershot high school while there uh eight years he probably saw you know three olympics you remember how like dickensian his backstory was that his dad like lost a job and then him and his whole family had to be janitors at night yeah and they were like living out of a van or something yeah and he like he'd work sweeping up stuff all night and i was like how bad is this dad at his job that he's gonna make kids pitch in yeah can you imagine how bad you would feel doing that to your to your kids is like all right come on we're going out tonight to i mean do what you gotta do but do what you gotta do absolutely i wish every job had the same salary so like doctors would have to

bring their kids in like yeah he's you know we're trying to make ends meet so he's got to be a little doctor too well you might like this guy uh named um lennon yeah every salary the same yeah yeah that's i think that's the that's the gist of it all and it all works out and everybody gets paid the same and it's a great society everybody's happy yeah yeah for a few years sure and then yeah that's the honeymoons over oh but those few years are beautiful yeah you've ever seen like pictures people mocking cuba because they have only like one brand of everything like one ketchup one mustard and that that's that's superstore isn't it that's where we're on a communist level with cuba no well you think

the superstore have i have their own brands but they sell other brands yeah it sounds it sounds bad until you find out that that one brand is heinz ketchup and that one brand is French's mustard. Those are the best ones. Yeah. Shit. Like if, if every brand was like, uh, uh,

uh, what are the, what are the no name brands right now? Uh, irresistible or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. The compliments is one.

Did compliments used to be our compliments? I don't know. This is something where I where i can't figure out if it's a dream i had uh yeah i remember as a kid because you know some parents would try to do the double switch on their kid with getting bulk cereal instead of in the cereal box yeah i was so on to this that my cousin whose mom like used tupperware i was like they're not buying you cool stuff and pouring it in there this is bulk stuff that you're getting oh your parents are lying to you so you graham would your parents do the uh like the double switch where they would

like keep an old box of frosted flakes before i'm sure they did i'm sure they did there's no way they were buying new boxes all the time i don't think i ever opened a box myself although if there was a toy in it that would be the dead given my parents would have to put a new toy in it oh yeah the the cereal boxes that had the toy in them and you can tell that somebody in your family has already gotten the toy because the cereal box is like blowing out at the sides they've already like stuck their hand down the middle of it and i yeah you try to squeeze the box by both sides as you shake it to get all the cereal back in line so that nobody knows it's so true oh my god yeah yeah cereal was a big like junk cereal was a big thing in my household in that we almost never had it but whenever we did it's like when my parents got home with the groceries you would like and you

didn't want to be caught by it like i have two older brothers and a younger sister so it'd just be like you try to get to it before they did and i remember there was times where i'd be in my room door open and i would see one of my brothers quickly walking by sort of at a weird angle so that i couldn't see what they had and i would see like excuse me is that golden grail oh yes and then yeah they would have to put it all gone now yeah but you would just try to in that first day or two if you were lucky that the cereal actually was there you just pour like a to the brim bowl of that cereal bowl yeah yeah the the sweet thing i hated the idea of sharing a sweet thing if there was like three donuts and one for me and one for each of my brothers, I'd be like, why can I have three donuts?

Why? Why do we need to share these? I still have a weird psychological thing. Now, my wife, she's an only child, so she does not understand this at all. But where I try to make every plate of everything like dinner or dessert or whatever exactly equal. dessert or whatever exactly equal and i will move like a teaspoon of mashed potatoes from one plate to the other and then i and try and decide if they are equal or not like i actually if i had a scale i think i would be on that level where i'm weighing it i made a big batch of meatballs and i like froze a bunch but i could only freeze them in uh 13 like it worked out the math was like each

batch well everybody knows you can only freeze 13 meatballs at a time if you freeze more you run the risk of opening a dimension to hell yeah uh so we divvied them up equally and it turns out that every batch had 13 donuts this turned out really well a baker's dozen of meatballs uh and then when you know when it's time to serve i'm like all right six for me and uh six for you and i guess oh well uh you know what seven for me i made them after all dear yeah yeah exactly um but yeah that cereal i we used to get if we went on vacation in the summer we would get the mini boxes with the way you like pour the milk right in the box which is novel for like 10 seconds you're like this is the greatest thing you're like oh things are falling apart very quickly yeah yeah it's very hard to keep that milk contained in the little

like wax it's extra thick sort of like wax wrapping for those too. And yeah, it never, yeah, it never cashed in on the promise. Yeah. And like one of them, I feel like one was always a non-fun one. I feel like there was like three fun ones and then like race. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or special K. Now, which, which special K came first, the drug or the cereal? Oh, that's Or Special K. Now, which Special K came first?

The drug or the cereal? Oh, that's a good question. That's true. And it's like the same with the number 69. It's like, did the number come first or did the sex act? Yeah, until that happened, it went 68, 70. Yeah. And then, you know, the freaking Mesopotamians were like, check this out.

I don't know who invented numbers. Hold on. We're going to have to redo the entire calendar. This is going to mess up our year. Yeah. But this does rule. We can all agree this does rule. Or at least we can convince kids that this rules this is the

coolest way we convince kids yeah that's what that's healthy we're going around to kids well isn't that sort of what happens like a bunch of kids think that it's like the best it's like the best thing you could imagine as a child maybe yeah and i mean i've had this conversation with people and i've been like yeah it's a better idea than in practice and people are like dave you're insane it's the greatest so i don't want to really have this conversation again all right tell on myself so aaron you're hyphenate, as I said off the top. Actor, writer, musician, or no? No. Do you play any instruments?

Can you spit some bars? I mean, I can say that must mean I'm disgusting. And, you know, that's sort of like I say that a lot. Is there a line from a song that you quote a lot uh hit the road jack i'm sure that there is i mean i say jane an awful lot from the song yeah like i'll stub my toe and it's like jane like you know that kind of... Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I get that too. But yeah, no, I don't know.

Maybe I'll think of something, but... Yeah, okay. Are you of the age that you would have known every song on the album Gordon by the Barenaked Ladies? Or are you... Oh, yeah, of course. That was like my... Almost like my gateway into music. Gorgeousness? Oh, I mean music? Oh, I'm sorry? Are you not? That was almost like my gateway into music. Dorkiness?

Oh, I mean music. I'm sorry? No, do you think that the Barenaked Ladies are dorky? Oh, no, I don't think. Yeah, no, neither do I. So, yeah, let's just shut that shit down right now, okay? But, like, yeah, I just remember. Because they had a song called this is me in grade nine when i was in grade oh yeah yeah oh really no that came out when you were in grade seven no did it yeah yeah he came out yeah what is uh uh gordon is that 1992 i think that that came out

um yeah i would have been maybe around 11, but it certainly made me want to be in grade 9. It sounded like a lot of fun. July 92. We had grade 9 to look forward to. Also, the one for sure is the Vitamin C

graduation song. That came out the graduating year because we couldn't stop listening to it i feel like you might also be wrong about that i've been wrong before i'm willing to be wrong again that came out in march of 2000 yeah exactly did you fail a couple great yes because our year was uh the green day one oh right okay yeah it's my brother who got the vitamin c that's right okay sure you graduated the same year that seinfeld that's right okay yeah that's uh that's something where it's like i don't know i always yeah who know like

you know that green day song is fine enough and everything but it always feels weird when older people are you know playing young music yeah their sound like you know seinfeld with that it's just like why not a blink 182 song while you're at it? Yeah. Yeah. It was growing up Kramer. Anytime they tried to do anything that was happening in the time. I remember Jerry at one point said I was about to get jiggy with it. And I was like, I don't know. That was funny.

Don't get, don't wait. That was in an episode. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's too bad. Kramer.

I was about to get jiggy with it. Like, yeah, it does not. Sorry, I used that as a launching pad for me to do an amazing Jerry Seinfeld. A really good Jerry Seinfeld. One that nobody else can do. It was like he was at a party. He got pulled off of, like music duty right and he said i was about to get jiggy with it i just remember that being so jarring because it's like they don't say

any other current words no but they do like what else did they say they say like you know a schmoopy and a puffy shirt but they're they're creating those phrases That's true But they would sometimes be like They would be like a Zeitgeisty thing that they would be talking about Oh yeah they said Zeitgeist all the time Well not literally Zeitgeist

Oh okay But like it was That didn't Didn't twig with you? No, that didn't bump me. I liked it. It was a comedy line. Yeah.

Delivered by a comedian. A comedian. This must mean I'm disgusting. I never realized. I remember in high school, I didn't watch Friends. I saw the whole thing like maybe four years ago, five years ago, I watched it all. What did you think? This is fascinating.

Yeah, yeah. I thought it was fine. But there were certain things. What's Joey's thing that he always says? How you doing? Yeah, how you doing? I didn't know when people were doing that, when Friends was on TV. I thought it was catching on from one person

in the school to another right i didn't know that they all had the same source material that they were all doing friends wow yeah and you must have thought like whoever came up with that like it was you know just getting the you know royalty checks just pouring in from all the high schools in the surrounding area that's the way it works right yes yeah you make up a phrase somehow you get money i that was always like a big thing of like oh this is it never paid off to be on the cutting edge of those things because no one ever knew yeah and i think also you can do it like you can do it. That thing like I don't even know. I found out years later theater did like an Adam Sandler impression contest. Oh, my God. Holy shit.

That would be something that would be very fun to get high and go to. Yes. Well, I didn't do the first part, but it was still very fun. And then there was three people competing in it the first person i forget what their impression was it was probably some hey have a dabby doobie yeah uh the second person boy quoted something filthy from one of his albums and then the third person and that made everyone quite uncomfortable it wasn't like it killed the third person did something from the trailer for the movie we were about to see smart which is uh someone was just standing there about to do an impression and then someone came running

and drop kicked them the place erupted. These people got free popcorn. I remember in maybe grade seven or eight when Adam Sandler's CD came out, I didn't know who Adam Sandler was. You didn't know anything. You didn't get any. Honestly, I do not get a lot of references. My own,

like my sister who is five years younger than me Is always caught off guard when I don't know songs That are very, very popular That are from like my era But why did you not, were you not allowed to see television? Or why did you have this? That was a bit of it Like, you know, raised in a Christian household

Where there was a bit of like monitoring on media But like, you know, i'm sure i could have snuck some of it and i'm sure i did but um but yeah just certain things were just not on my radar for interest for whatever reason but i remember being in class and a kid who i was in class with had transcribed a whole sketch off of one of the first Adam Sandler CD. Okay. But I didn't know that. I just, he showed me this piece of paper with all of this filthy dialogue on it, and I had no idea what it was. And it was like there was pages of it.

He had just written the whole thing out by hand and was passing it around and showing kids in the class and i was like what like this is insane yeah did you think it was funny or were you uh troubled by it you sound like you were troubled i think i was troubled by it like you know i was a good christian boy at the time and um and it just seemed like you know it might be troubling it's it's well it's definitely become troubling again true yeah but uh but yeah i probably found it more troubling than most people even would have at the time but it's you know it's uh do you think he knew when he was putting it together that the primary audience of his album work was 12 year olds

and 13 year olds maybe he was aiming a bit higher but some of those yeah he must have but like some of those sketches are I think legitimately still do have a very funny premise maybe they go on too long

I always liked the production in them the hit the beating of a high school janitor and stuff like those hits have a lot of maybe they go on too long i always liked the production in them yeah the hit like uh yeah the beating of like a high school janitor and stuff like those hits have a lot of oomph to them you know like it's like a nice good loud bassy good full hit i just don't i think they have to be aimed at 12 year olds because i don't know like as an adult if i've ever listened to a sketch cd well i've listened to uh like monty python listen to that in album form and as an adult yeah cool but that was at a before youtube when you could just watch a sketch there seemed to be this whole era of comedy um albums that were like sort of sketchy or

whatever at at a certain time that people would play at parties and i think this is before my time but just like that it's just like oh this party needs some livelihood let's put on a comedy record and make everybody listen to it like now it sounds insufferable. Yeah. But I think it was a common thing. Well, it's good to, like, gather around the phonograph and listen to Red Fox swearing. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. And, like, when I was a teenager

and having a lot of fun with the marijuana, doing that and then listening to Cheech and Chong was a real... That was a real treat for the senses. Cause yeah, it was all about pot. I remember listening to stand up, you know,

in my late teens, early twenties. And it just, it felt like magic or something. And yeah, like, yeah. Hearing just like stand up in a way where I just,

I don't anymore. I think, you know, you kind of learn a lot a lot of the tricks of what a lot of people are doing you realize now like oh that person who i thought was like really really funny they were just doing a thing that somebody else did before that somebody else did before yeah but yeah it's funny to watch young comedians exploring things that have been done for 80 years straight. Yeah.

I remember I had Dennis Leary's album because it had that song asshole on it. And the rest was stand up about smoking and doing drugs and things. I just did not understand. And he's so mad about it. I remember my, um, I went to the set of the movie, the ref,

uh, Dennis Leary was in, uh, just, I went to the set of the movie The Ref. Oh, yeah. Wow. Dennis Leary was in. Just they were shooting some exteriors somewhere in, you know, near Burlington, I'm guessing. Maybe even in Burlington. I don't remember. But it was because my uncle, he owned a firewood lot and they bought some firewood off of him

for set deck outside of this house or something. And so then he, I guess he got the information of where they were shooting it and my family and I, we went to go see an exterior shot being filmed. Nice!

And we asked just some random crew guy, like, who's in this movie and he like you know my family i don't think we knew any of the actors in it but yeah i remember when he said dennis leary and we were all just like shrugging and i don't know yeah he was like oh he did that song uh i'm an asshole and like i remember I remember being like, Oh my God, how come you just said that so casually in front of my parents? Like, don't you know that my parents don't say asshole?

Yeah. Listen up. You fucks. Have you ever heard of this song? Asshole. It's the same thing when the, when we moved, when I was in grade four and the real estate agent gave my parents a bottle of wine as a,

like, you know, like your new house, like congratulations. And I thought like, are you a fucking idiot? They don't drink alcohol. You fucking idiot.

And then they were like, Oh yeah. The ref, it also has Kevin Spacey. He's going to, in a few years, it'll be, you know, outed for sexually abusing people. My parents hate sexual abuse.

Don't say that. What, growing up in a Christian household, what shows and or movies were you allowed to watch that was sanctioned by the parents? I mean, I don't know there was i definitely watched things that were not sanctioned i remember the things that i didn't see more than the things that i did i think like i remember calling my parents over at a friend's house to see if i could watch ghostbusters and it would always be like trying to downplay whatever it is like yeah there's like ghosts and things but it's funny so it's not like actually scary and it doesn't really deal with the occult in a real way now there's no blowjob scene in this movie right there's no ghost giving a blowjob

to dan well there is but it's kind of you don't know why it's happening whether it's reality or a dream so there's a little bit of ambiguity there and boy is there a father a son and a holy ghost in this one um it's the ghosts have holes in them especially that blowjob one yeah for sure they're holy now slimer what kind of slime is this made from it's holy slime because i grew up in a christian house as well as did you graham yeah but our my dad liked a little wine yeah my parents like wine they they relented pretty quick into uh any show we wanted to watch we had to go to church and we weren't allowed to watch married with children but other than that it was pretty uh yeah and we said grace i remember yeah uh did you go first off to church

uh once on sunday or twice uh one once yeah we were at two uh times morning and evening service sunday was shot for me like when when the weekend came Friday night was great Saturday during the day was great but as the evening approach on Saturday I was like my weekend's done you got the Sunday scaries on Saturday like the 6 o'clock wonderful world of Disney or

magical world of Disney or whatever would be starting I remember we could you know I would see the first 5 minutes of something then it was like okay we got to take off go to church now we did you uh do you have to wear like your church clothes did you wear them in the morning then take them off have a normal day and then put on clothes same clothes at night or uh i don't i do remember having to put on church clothes and not liking the feel of it and kind of always feeling uncomfortable.

Like the tucked in shirt coming untucked and just like always trying to keep track of that. You bend over to pick something up and it all comes untucked at the back. I still actually don't know how to tuck in a shirt really in an effective way. Yeah, me neither, actually. I very rarely have to do it. But if I had to, I wouldn't feel comfortable about it at all. Yeah. It's yeah.

But then, yeah. And making all those arguments of like, you know, like, why does God care what I'm wearing? Like, you know, isn't he looking at my heart? Well, it's not just your heart. It's your brain, too. And he can see every thought in there, pal. Yeah. That's right.

Yeah. He doesn't like it god's mad yeah he's mad right now yeah this is yeah we worship the old testament god yeah oh yeah the the bully bully god we could call fire and brimstone yeah yeah what uh was it a fire and brimstone kind of church thing ours Ours was very like, here's a nice story about a guy who takes care of sheep. Yeah. Yeah, no. Until I was in grade four, it was a bit of the fire and brimstone.

We were going to a Pentecostal, which is like an evangelical kind of like crazy place. And then my mom, which was a place that my dad had sort of been brought up going to uh that kind of church yeah and then uh my mom one day when i was in you know grade four i said to my dad like i don't like this and then he's like you know what i don't either he's like well why did you never say anything like he's like i don't know i'm scared of your mom so so yeah now they just uh they they went to like a nor like you know normal place after that so then i had like a normal church but it was too late because i had already been like baked as a human being yeah and uh and i feel like i still suffer from my intellectual thoughts on things versus my knee-jerk, what deep down inside I fear. Yes.

Yeah. I mean, I live in fear. That's the way I live my life is just constantly shuddering. It's just safer that way. That's true. Yeah. You get out of a lot of uh trouble a lot of troubled spots yeah do you guys have plans to uh to become like a christian again right before you

die like you have a sense of like okay like you know i'm gonna live uh like caligula and then in the last moment yeah i have a priest on retainer so if it looks like i'm gonna die he can come in and do the last rites i uh yeah i i don't look um i don't know when i'm gonna die but you know how yeah like do you get a deathbed like do they know do you have a bed like before you pick out your coffin do you pick out your deathbed or do you get a deathbed? Like, do they have a bed designated? Like, before you pick out your coffin, do you pick out your deathbed? Or do you even know? Is it a surprise? You're like, oh, shit, this is my deathbed.

This has been my deathbed all along. Yeah, your family surprises you with it. They wrap it up like a present. You know, you can see the shape. You know what it is. Yeah. And then you unwrap it. And if it's not like the deathbed that you wanted, you just sort of act like you love it anyway.

But maybe you say you like, you know, trying to convince them too much that it's the perfect deathbed, but they can tell. Yeah. You know that you, that you hate it. You get a Casper mattress and you're like,

Hmm, this has a hundred night guarantee. I'm not going to live that long. Am I? night guarantee i'm not gonna live that long am i um i watched a youtube video uh recently i don't know what's going on with my algorithm but uh but it was just like a hospice worker showing a person uh like in the process of dying like what dying looks like but did But did you click on it? I clicked on it. That's your algorithm. That's why your algorithm is doing that.

Yeah, yeah. Now I feel maybe I'll get more of them. But it was like, you know, she was saying that she wanted to demystify it because a lot of people are scared of death and all that. But I watched it and like this dying person was like, they sat up in their chair and they were making like gurgling sounds. I was like, oh no, I chair and they were making like gurgling sounds i was like oh no i'm like five times as afraid of death as i was before watching this video like this is how it has to end

if if you live a good long life where you don't just yeah no uh yeah be sure to like and subscribe we hit that smash that like button i'm not scared of death i i'm scared of dying i do not want to die but i think being dead will be good yeah it'll be yeah it'll be it has to be it's like like novel writing like i don't want to have to write a novel but i like i would like to have written one yes yeah you don't want to die but you will like to have been dead yeah um dave what's going on with you my friend big week this week now i'm a guy who uh rarely goes to the movies rarely sees a whole movie uh but this week since we last recorded, I saw not one, not two, six movies. Six movies in one week. Holy shit.

Six movies in one week. That's like summer vacation numbers. Like that's... Yeah. I don't know what it was. I don't know what changed. Boy, let's go through them uh in the order they came out sure first movie i watched this week indiana jones 3 the last crusade oh last crusade sure yeah i

remember uh liking that one uh you would like it it's got uh like you know there's a there's a humble uh cup in it from a humble man well also, also I remember being at Christian camp one year and, and they screened that movie as a movie night. And there's a part in it where Indiana Jones and his dad are arguing and Indiana Jones says like, ah, Jesus Christ. And then his dad slaps him in the face and says, that

is for blasphemy. And the whole camp cheered. We loved it. That is what you get for blasphemy. Just these kids, yeah! Yeah!

Cheering for the protagonist of the film being slapped in the face by an old man i hope he gets bitten by snakes yeah there wasn't there wasn't quite as big of a cheer uh when he uh stuck that flagpole in the nazis uh motorcycle tire yeah yeah yeah i remember seeing a myth busters where they tried to do that they tried to throw a like a pole through a motorcycle didn't work couldn't happen no until they put the nazi on it yeah you need those nazi weight and it works uh i had never seen it before no

i enjoyed it i watched it in three settings viewings yeah and when I was a kid I didn't appreciate the fact that Sean Connery was like a big star in his own right I didn't know who he was I knew him as Indiana Jones' dad yeah, I only knew him and respected him as the man who said that

every now and then you gotta put a woman in her place and then all the kids cheered when who said that every now and then you gotta put a woman in her place. Yeah, that's true. And then all the kids cheered when they said that. Yeah, yeah. So he would have been 59 when that movie came out. Okay. Sean Connery? Yeah, not an old man at all. That's not so old.

No. He seemed ancient. Yeah. But like, it just wasn't one of those things where it's like, can you believe that John Connery and Harrison Ford are in the same blockbuster together? It just never occurred to me that that was... Oh yeah, and how old would Harrison Ford have been?

God, he's probably younger than I am. So, he was born in 42 So he would have been 47 47 okay Looking good at 47 You gotta admit

So they were just so Sean Connery had it when he was 12 Hey man who am I to judge I wore a just do it shirt in grade three so so you watched six movies in one week but you had to divide this one up into three sittings maybe i watched in the maybe i started it last week okay okay okay uh the next in alphabetical order i liked that one that one gets a thumbs up for me. Uh, in a chronological order. The next one, when Harry met Sally, never saw that before either.

Really? Wow. Yeah. Um, what'd you think? Uh, you know what? Because we just did this, uh, podcast about rom-coms, romantic comedies. Yes. Let's make a rom-com it's called. Yeah.

And, uh uh everyone was talking about how great this movie is i guess so like it's not there's no plot to it it's just there they just have little conversations and i feel like this really inspired a lot of annoying people like there's one part where he's like for the the rest of the date, I'm going to talk like this. I'm like, this sucks. Yeah, I saw When Harry Met Sally for the first time maybe, I don't know, 10 years ago, nine years ago. I had also not seen it. But then when I got together with my now wife, she had that in her collection and we watched it. And I was actually surprised it had a couple of F-bombs in it.

And I just didn't, you know, same thing with them. Did you have to call your parents to pick me up? No, I didn't have to. I did out of courtesy. OK, I'm an adult. But, yeah But yeah, they, yeah,

a couple of, but that's the thing is my brain is like trained on these things. Like the, the, the nutty professor I also saw for like with Eddie Murphy recently. And I was shocked that it had like, like I'm thinking of the right one, right?

Yeah. Where is he nuts? that has like right off the top there's these hamsters running out of a laboratory and one goes up a guy's pants and starts wiggling around and a girl looks at it and is just like you know it's wiggling in his crotch and she thinks that it's his crotch moving around she's like makes eyes at him like i like that and i was just like i thought that this was a pg movie and then there's like like at least one maybe more n bombs dropped in it what i thought that the nutty professor was like a family pg movie yeah me too like i would have thought it was a g movie

yeah like yeah honestly because that's that's the that's the vibe it gives off right from all the promotional material but it's like it goes a lot harder than it needs to um yeah i don't i i think i didn't ever see the the that one i don't think well maybe i did in bits and pieces on tv but i just remember part where parts of him were the fat professor and parts of him weren't. That's the big scene I came up with. Oh, yeah. I just remember in the trailer, he goes, I'm fatter. I mean, I'm flattered.

That might have been the nutty professor to the clumps, though. He is a lovable character overall. Yeah, exactly. What's his character's name? Donald Clump. Yeah donald clump yeah yeah something clump um yeah uh yeah so when harry met sally it's uh i thought there was more of a plot to it i thought they were like where yes we're getting together but while we're doing other things but

no it's a it's a it's a little lynchian that way explain well just where you know it's not your standard traditional plot or you know you don't necessarily know what order everything's going in what's reality yeah i mean they do say like five years later two years later so you kind of have an idea what order things are going in. Okay. Uh, still a little lynching. Yeah, it is done by that. Yeah. Yeah,

absolutely. And how did the, uh, the famous scene in it, how did you find, was that funny to you or was it, uh, were you just like,

Oh, I'm seeing it actually happen in reality instead of just people quoting it. Well, I had seen the, I had seen the scene. Oh, okay. You spoiled it for yourself, I guess. Yeah, I spoiled it for myself, but I did, of course, uh, I had seen the scene. Oh, okay. You spoiled it for yourself, I guess.

Yeah, I spoiled it for myself. But I did, of course, I loved it. Do you know what the original line of the old lady in that scene was? Can you kick her out of here? Yeah. This is actually super inappropriate. My husband just died. Yeah. my husband just died so yeah yeah my husband just said i'm not ever gonna have one of these again uh so can you please kick a uh lady comes a lot the hell out of here like

it's lady come so loud thank you very much oh sorry yeah it wasn't multiple times the um the original line was the old lady says hey get a mop macaroni in a pot you won't get it yeah you won't get it for a number of years but when you do i'm gonna be seen as like being at the forefront of my generation yeah i and they did the the classic uh rom-com thing where they're kind of together then they break up and then they get back together again as am i remembering that no they uh they aren't together they hate each other i remember they hate each other at the beginning yeah they see each other again they don't like each other at the beginning, yeah. They see each other again. They don't like each other, but they just become friends. Then they're friends for a long time. They date each other's best friends.

Or they go on a double date with best friends, and those two best friends get together. Right. Bruno Kirby and Carrie Fisher. And then Harry and Sally have sex, and that changes everything. And then they get together sex first hey huh okay i've heard of sex before marriage and you know i will make exceptions for that um sex before relationship huh yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna have to think on this one. Yeah, no, it's a sin. The movie's a sin. Although there's one scene where he's dating a younger woman,

and I recognized her, and I was like, oh, she's also in A League of Their Own. She's Betty Spaghetti from A League of Their Own. And I looked her up. She's the daughter of Rob Reiner and Penny Marshall, who I didn't know were a couple. No, neither did I. And I feel like that should be a big famous thing that I know.

Also, wasn't the woman in the restaurant Rob Reiner's mom? Yeah. Yeah. That was the one. Oh, God. I know. He put his own mom through that. Don't put your mom in that scene like mom you're gonna have to listen to this orgasm probably 15 to 20 times we're going to do as

many takes as we possibly can um and each time just stick the line no improv mom yeah well she's improvising the orgasm who's that in the script uh okay that's movie number two so what did you think what was your the orgasm. What was that in the script? Okay, that's movie number two. So what did you think? What was your takeaway? Yeah, it was good. It was good? Okay.

It's apparently the gold standard of romantic comedies, but maybe these people haven't seen music and lyrics. The one I like is Something's Gotta Give. That's my new prototype of... Oh, really? With Jack Nicholson and diane keaton i love it i love it i haven't seen that maybe next week yeah yeah exactly let's put it on the list somewhere the third movie here we go fear fear oh with marky mark with marky mark

walberg and reese witherspoon and the dad is played by uh william peterson who was from the original csi that's what i know him from and uh it was shot here in shot here the famous uh roller coaster scene is the roller coaster of my youth yeah the wooden roller coaster that she gets finger banged on. Well. Did they leave it up to my imagination? No, they certainly didn't. And the people behind her were like, I'll have what she's up to. Get a mop. The roller coaster of my youth was in the Dead Zone.

Oh, shit. Oh, no. In a good way or in a hor, uh, the dead zone. Oh, no. In a good way or in a horny way like this one? No, in a good way. It's in a weird way. It was, um, yeah,

Christopher Walken, uh, and, uh, uh, I forget, I think his partner or something. It's been a while since I've seen it are on the ghost or coaster from Canada's

wonderland, but it would have been right after canada's wonderland was built and it's weird because it's like there's nobody else on the roller coaster but them that is weird and it seems like i forget if you see a big exterior or anything like that but like nobody else is kind of there is canada's wonderland only open in the summer or is it? Yeah, I think maybe it opens late, maybe late spring or something. And then, yeah, summer. And then it's open actually in the fall time too. They turn it into a Halloween town.

Oh, they've got kind of a coaster coaster. Yeah. So they'll do the daytime and then close it and then reopen it at night as a Halloween haunt. Okay. The other roller coaster that we have at the same theme park in town is the roller coaster from Final Destination 3.

Oh. Yeah. I remember Chris Locke and I watched a bunch of those one year. And the first one, you think that it's the cheapest thing you've ever seen, but they get cheaper. Yeah.

And they're coming back. They're making a new one apparently so i can't wait yeah actually i love them there were a few other locations i recognized from fear like the high school that she goes to is uh the high school my siblings all went to lord bing and there was i can't remember the other thing but i know you know it is a funny name. No, Lord, no, hold on, hold on, Lord Google. Very funny, very funny, everyone. Thank you, thank you, thank you. But I forget what else. There was one other location I recognized, but they also had Marky Mark is topless in it.

He's shirtless. You know, he was a big underwear model. Yeah. Yeah. And I forgot, but there's like, you know, you see a close-up of his torso. It's sort of in the background where she's in the foreground. Forgot he's got a third nipple. He's got a third nipple?

Yeah. Get on it. Wait, you forgot that? I forgot that. I knew that about him. And then he's kept his shirt nipple? Yeah. Get on it. Wait, you forgot that? I forgot that. I knew that about him. And then he's kept his shirt on for so long. Yeah. Wait, wait.

Sorry. I think when I heard it, my mind just shut down for a second. Did you say where it is? It's on his forehead. But you just remembered when he took off his shirt because you saw the other two and you're like, wait, three? Wait, I thought I saw his nipple. I thought I was counting. I expected to see one more when he took off his shirt for a normal total of two,

but no, it's about like, I don't know, a couple of inches below the left nipple. Okay. That'd be cool to kind of get them both pierced with a little chain connecting the two. That would be good.

Or like a triangle. Yeah. Cool. Oh, yeah. I wonder, do you, hey, do you pierce third nipples? No. We have a strict no third nipple piercing. We'll do second and fourth only.

No thirds. No ones. And if you have a dog, we'll do all eight. There's a very dumb scene in Fear where Marky Mark's talking to the dad and he, the dad says like, make sure to have her back by 10 30 or whatever. And then he winds a clock on his desk back. And it's like,

but that guy has other clocks. Like it's not the, it's not, you didn't go around changing all the clocks in the house. Well was in his office for that whole scene that's true that's true but he so he wound it back presumably a couple of hours if you're gonna do that it's only worth it if you're buying a lot of time but would you really not notice like a couple of hours yeah like your your internal clock is off by that long you're just like why am i so hungry it's it's only 3 p.m why am i starving he's got to get this work done in his office and

then he misses the fedex deadline that's how he figures out the clock's been messed up now is he an architect in it yes because that was the job job that a man in a movie could have was architect, and then the woman would be a writer for a magazine. Yeah, or the man could be an ad executive. That's true. Yeah, he could be an ad man. That's true. For a while there, I feel like there was a few movies where the job you could have

as the woman in a rom-com was your own little bakery. Yes. Yeah, that's true. And the smaller, the better. Yeah, the smaller and the cuter, the better. Absolutely. There is a scene where he's, there's like a lot of classic cars in the movie. Like the dad drives a old Mustang, Marky Mark drives a,

I still call him Marky Mark. Yeah. Marky Mark drives a roller coaster. He drives a roller coaster. He wears a little engineer's hat. That's how you know you hate your daughter's boyfriend. If he pulls up in front of your house in a roller coaster and you just honks it. No,

you don't honk your roller coaster you get out and you knock hey no you don't stand you don't stand um he he drives a corvair which is uh he says yeah these things blow up and i looked it up they're the they're the car from the ralph nader book unsafe at any speed oh shit so they did actually blow up they were like a like a pinto yeah um but they and guess what doesn't happen in the movie the whole time i'm like oh well this this car is gonna blow up isn't there a scene where he sits down and he's reading the ralph nader book while he's like waiting for her to come out

um yeah and then uh so that was good that was good corvair also sounds like a job i don't know yeah or corvays oh sorry i thought you said Corvair. No, it's Corvair, but like, Oh, Corvair. I see a Corvair Corvays. All right. Yeah.

I don't know. Yeah. Oh yes. I see what you're saying. You're the one who said it sounds like a job. I'm a little slow. I'm slow. I'm very slow.

I don't even know what you guys are talking about. I just, let's see. What was the next one? Chronologically. You're hitting all the classics i know it's a weird selection the next one was freaky friday the lindsey lohan movie yeah never seen it who uh who's the adult and is jamie lee curtis and jamie lee curtis is the adult

i saw the 70s one so many times the one with what's her name jodie foster oh i don't even think i know about that one i think i only know about freaky fire and then was there one with judge reinhold i think and he switches brains with uh oh yeah savage yeah i i do i did i think see the uh jamie lee curtis Curtis Freaky Friday at some point. But I think it was because I read in some interview that I was reading with Kim Gordon that she had just seen it and she liked it after it came out. So I was like, well, if it's good enough for Kim Gordon, then I watched it. I was like, well, I'm not going to take more recommendations from Kim Gordon. Who is Kim Gordon?

I know who she is, but who? Oh, the bassist from sonic youth and a lead singer songwriter too you know um it's it does have that uh they this because they switch bodies and so lindsey lohan is this like grungy guitar player plays in a band loves music and her uptight mom isn't. And then they switch bodies, and Lindsay Lohan, I guess Jamie Lee Curtis now, is like, starts dressing cool, and the idea of what cool is for Jamie Lee Curtis, it's just like a really long, colorful dress, and some tiny sunglasses. And she gets her hair cut. But like, it was already short. Am I wrong in picturing that the cover of the movie

is jamie lee curtis with a guitar yeah like being zapped or something yeah there's something that some zapping happening i think maybe there's like body parts switching i don't know i kind of love jamie lee curtis yeah she does she kind of does it all. She does it all. You know, like she won an Oscar this past year and should have won one long time ago. She would have, she would have won it for true lies. That was a tour de force, but yeah, she's,

well, I just saw true lies for the first time, maybe a month ago. What were your thoughts? And I thought that it was, it was great. It was much more of a comedy than i thought it was yeah yeah going to be um and it was also you know in that era where a lot of movies were this but it was very racist

yes but it um so it's friends by the way yes yes but when you uh you know uh racism aside the way that the action was and the comedy was racism aside i think that's the name of your podcast that's the name of my autobiography um i'm looking at the cover of freaky friday now and they've not been zapped but she does have spiky hair. I believed you that they had been zapped. Yeah. There was no zapping happening. It was a fortune cookie. It was a fortune cookie. Okay. You keep on talking about the zapped and

I'm thinking of the cover. What's the movie Young Einstein? Yes. Yeah. With Yahoo Sirius zapped on the cover. Yeah. Anyway. it was funny i read i'm gonna line up the tracks when i edit this because you both said yahoo series at the same time that's how i'm gonna do it the i've read it like a piece about him maybe like five years ago or something and he the i think the common thinking was that yahoo serious was very

popular in australia but I don't, he didn't make any movies before young Einstein. And that was an international hit. So it's not like he was an established guy. It was like, that was the movie that everybody knew him for. And I don't know how it made its way across the ocean to North America. No idea.

I loved it as a kid. And Yahoo serious is a, that's not a, a nom de plume. his birth name is yahoo silly because it is a bit of a oxymoron of a name please my dad is yahoo serious please um i'm just picturing there's a scene in it where he splits an atom and then that makes beer uh frothy and when he's splitting the atom you can hear a file he's like filing the atom but they had frothy beer before uh the atomic bomb not in australia

yeah there's a scene where the bomb goes off outside and they all have these flat beers that just foam up not all bad how many of i watched i watched i said four the next one was the lego movie oh yeah that's fun i had seen it before but you know what they have three dollar movies on saturdays at the cineplex odon so you're not seeing all these in the theater no okay uh that's the only one of these i i saw in the theater so far uh i don't need to say anything about this movie i just saw it yeah and the final one i went to see yesterday because i had been wanting to see it for months and yesterday was really building this up.

This better be the best movie you've ever seen. The last, I was like, I kept putting it off. And then I checked and I was like, oh, it's not playing after Thursday, April 27th. So I saw the 12.45 showing of Avatar, The Way of Water. Ah, yes yes p.m or a.m p.m right after lunch i had popcorn for lunch um graham you saw this a few weeks ago yeah have you seen it aaron no but don't worry you can talk we can talk freely about it i mean i won't have anything to say but you can talk freely about it no but there's literally nothing to know except like bad industrialist good naturists that's yeah i saw the first one uh and yeah i mean whatever it was

a fun thing to see yeah that's that's all right and i had heard that it's actually the second one's actually quite good like as much like as you know i didn't remember anything from the first one and i had heard the second one's really good then graham saw it and he was like yeah it's really good it's really good i didn't mean like the movie though the experience of like watching the 3d was i didn't think like the plot was i I heard many people say that as well. I had no issues with the plot. And the whole thing was three hours, but it moved it. Like they never showed you the same thing twice.

Every scene, there's something new. Every shot. It's like, oh, there's like a new animal or a new piece of technology or it's the same things before. But now they're in a rainstorm. that's cool yeah yeah and it's like they meet other avatars that have different things because they're like a different tribe they've got they're like water avatars and these guys were jungle avatars and you know can we all work together to uh well that's fun yeah i had i had yeah i had no i didn't even have any problem people were making fun of unobtainium but i'm like this is it's such a silly in a way like basic fun

movie i do not care like why not call and when the the the general goes outside with the oxygen mask on and he's firing even though he can't breathe like i loved it all it was it was it was fun it like i because i think that it's supposed to be funny oh yeah it's supposed to be like a like a popcorn movie yeah it is uh yeah they abandoned unobtainium no one wants unobtainium anymore what they want is this stuff that comes out of a whale's brain which is also the whale's heart that's that's i forgot i forgot that entire chunk they had one part they were like they took this goo out of a whale's brain it's like this one thing is worth 80 million dollars and i'm thinking like well like is it 80 million of today's dollars like i

i couldn't my biggest problem was like how far in the future is this and like is it a million still a lot of money on is it still on earth i forget that you know but i guess they gotta be sending stuff back to earth oh yeah right right right because the whole army yeah yeah but yeah there's like i just remember being so engrossed in it and then at the end i couldn't tell you that any of the details like i say i forgot the entire whale plot uh the whales are nice sounds a little lynchian that way it is a little lynchian it kind of like bounces around it's sort of uh it you know what it kind of messes it's a psychological roller coaster in a way yeah now there is an actor from uh in in avatar who i have a friend who when i went to go see it with him he started laughing when this actor appeared on screen because he

thought that he bore a mild uh resemblance to me oh i know the. Now, cut to a few years later, I'm at the airport waiting to go into a line after we land to, you know, go through customs, I guess. And it's a really long line. Get in line. And then I noticed, not in line yet, just sitting off by the wall waiting to enter the line, is that actor. And I only noticed because I'm like, this guy's familiar. Why? Oh, right.

The guy who, you know, so then I, I'm talking to my wife for a little bit and then I look ahead in the line and somehow now he's ahead of me in line. Shit. And yeah. And so I took some candid shots of him just cause I was just like,

I'm going to, and then I did, I shots of him just because I was just like, I'm going to. And then I did. I tweeted at him being like, how did you get ahead of me in line? I saw you not in the line. And now you're ahead of me in line. So you cut in line. Like, you know, just apologize and I will delete these tweets. And I was after him for a good week or two just like occasionally tweeting

trying to get a response he never responded and eventually i felt stupid because nobody cared about my little thing and nobody just i guess i'm just kind of harassing this guy who doesn't think this is a fun bit yeah i kind of just wanted him to join in to yes and like even if he was rude to me i I would have thought it was amazing. Like so funny. Uh, listeners out there. Um,

you know, there's a picture. We take a picture at the start of every episode. Uh, uh, so, you know, go to maximum fund.org.

Look at this, uh, this week's, uh, picture of our guest and, uh, guess which actor he's talking about. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, and the actor may also be in the hottie and the naughty hot sea and the nazi does he play the naughty and the cover he seems to be zapped with something the hottie and the naughty have been zapped apart that's what they always do to actors who look like me yeah always zap them get the zaps i guess it's what the collective subconscious wants to see um the other my other problem this has been a problem since the first avatar movie is the main character's name is jake sully yeah which sully has always been a nickname for the last name sullivan i've never heard it as a name

of its own let alone the protagonist of a huge movie so it bothers me and they really bring up the name a lot in this movie because he now has a family that are all the sullies and they're like sullies stick together so sometimes sully short for sullenberger as well but never its own name yeah because sully sullenberger lands a plane on the water planet and uh people get off and the avatars get in and they take off again it's a really weird movie yeah it's sort of lynchian yeah to me i i feel like the sully thing is maybe the unobtainium of this movie. Where I'm, personally, I'm fully on board with the Sully's. Yeah, the movie

should have been called The Sully's, kind of like The Clump. Yeah. I would actually, they should do a spin-off sitcom of this family. Oh, I love an Avatar sitcom. And every now and then an Avatar comes to their door. It's like the neighbor who's bringing over a casserole or something

oh god do I have to join ancestry.com to find out how many sullies there are so what was your ranking of it? second most the occupation of most sullies in 1940

laborer so that makes sense. The guy in it, he's an army man. The laborer. The most female sullies in 1940, clerk. Clerk. That's the two jobs there were that year. It'd be a soldier, a clerk, or a laborer.

A tinker, a tailor. Yeah. A soldier, a spy. Tinker, tailor, soldier, clerk. There was a little spike in the early 90s, I think, where, you know, being a clerk for everybody. That really became a thing. That was like a cool thing to be. Kevin Smith changed the world.

Those are six movies. What was your opinion of the last one oh it was great it was great okay so no

no wait did you see you didn't see anything that you didn't like that's great why would I see anything I didn't like that's a good question

yeah but you liked of the things that you like you like when Harry met Sally the least I would say

I probably like the Lego movie the least no i would say i probably like the lego movie the least oh okay freaky friday uh fear maybe was the one i liked the third least are we going backwards i would say i liked harry when harry met sally fourth least. Avatar, the second least. And Indiana Jones, I liked it the most least. Well, that sounds like a good week to me, man. Yeah, man. It was a great week.

Cool. What's up with you, Graham? Here's the thing. I don't know if this has ever happened to either of you in some capacity, but I was going to dinner on Monday or Sunday, and it was for a birthday, and everybody was getting together, and we're all going to have Indian food from this Indian food place that's so good. Was it in a restaurant or at home?

At home. At home. At home. They were going to get this takeout. And we had, like, I've been to this Indian place so many times. It's a favorite. And I was at my sweetie's family's place. And the whole thing was going to get this place.

We're going to get the food from this place. So they put in the order, and then the people picking it up picked it up and brought it over, but it was totally not the right order. It was the right food, but it wasn't like how it was at this place. And then we found out that they had gone to a place across the street from the place and said, we're here to pick up this order and there were people

that were so confused and just like put together an order for them said like okay we'll just make we'll just make that order for you and then we got it it wasn't the right stuff but then we called the place that we had called and it was waiting there for us we didn't

want to screw the first place over so we went and picked up this gigantic bag of like enough for 10 people indian food and so it just became the only food that i've eaten practically all week like three times a day indian food not easy man not easy. There's like a whole country where they eat nothing but Indian food. That's true. And they're doing quite well. There's something that I want to say, but I'm not sure if I should say.

Now, I think we're all going down the same road here. Yeah. I mean, no. I can almost guarantee this is not what you're going to say oh well i can almost guarantee what i was gonna say is actually not what you were thinking then because i was thinking something so clean

no is um i find after i have had a lot of indian food when I do my business after. Okay, well, then we are. No, but here's the part where you might jump ship or at least you might not want to be on record with me saying this. It's all because of the spices and everything. I'm not saying it is, but there's something about it where I'm like,

this almost seems edible. Okay. Wow. No. And I know it's not. I know it's not. I would never. I would never, never, never.

And, you know, but there's that part of me that thinks it might not be bad. Is that what you're thinking, Dave? I jumped ship at the last minute. Yeah, yeah. See, I told you. I didn't want to bring you guys with me on that journey. We went with you, and we got no regrets. We had to.

It had to be. That doesn't cross my mind. That doesn't cross my mind because of't cross my mind um because of um i guess like geez yeah like germs and stuff millions of years of evolution yeah make me not want to eat that no but it's it's it's it's the that that i don't want to eat you know but it's uh it's the food element that i sure because it was food at one point yeah no i get that spices which probably don't get broken down the same way that you know rice does or but like also like i don't eat a pumpkin pie twice yeah no all that i'm saying it's got tons of different kinds of spices in it too that are fragrant look i get it i know i'm just saying you know if you if there was a turd and

all you could and you put perfume on it and you couldn't smell the turd just the perfume was this perfume smell like perfume or does it smell like now this is breaking down even more no the perfume smells like perfume but it masks it masks okay then what are we doing with the turd kissing it we're kissing it okay yeah sure i guess one yeah yeah perfume where you want to get kissed yeah but but you wouldn't because you can see what it is because you don't understand why you would want to yeah but maybe if you were blindfolded and uh it was like a prank show yeah yeah it's like yeah you know kiss this perfumed thing and whatever you say boss speaking of which have you guys seen the clip of a british show where your partner says what type of tattoo

you're gonna get and it's just tattoo of us is that what it's called yeah just tattoo of us i love it i love it it's so crazy it's uh tim yilbert uh and and his wife uh rebecca they they showed me that show one night and it was wonderful it's so funny it's so funny it's like sending a message via tattoo that your partner didn't get to see it being put on but like are they is everyone on board for it like do they yeah like they know they're getting a tattoo they know that they they drug the person they don't know they're having orange juice with their breakfast and then they're cold and they wake up with a tattoo on their face does the person agree to like it's going to be in this spot and it's going to be this size or is it like yeah they seem to have like

the spot on the man anyways like this spot is shaved so i they would know that this is the area that i shaved pointing to his penis yeah but they're they're they're blindfolded i think or something or at least cannot see what is being tattooed on them until it's all done the big and so you run the risk of maybe the person got you something that they actually think you would like or maybe they got you you know something aaron do you have any tattoos i don't that's the three of us we're squeaky clean the three of us does your wife nope nope that would have been weird if you're like completely like huge design but my three-year-old has uh both arms totally sleeved out and uh what kind of sleeves does a three-year-old get oh it's like soothers

blocks that spell his name and yeah uh anyways i ate nothing but indian food for many days straight and oh graham can i ask you something about the digesting of it? Yes, you may. You there. Can we talk about that for 10 minutes? But the thing that I've realized, and I don't think I realized it before, is it seems that Indian food gets spicier the longer it just kind of is marinating in itself.

And so, like, it just, I've got a very Irish palate. So you can imagine maybe the same thing happens inside of you too. And then when it comes out, it especially has a food like. More of a fragrance. Oh good, we're going back. The, I find Indian food is one of my favorites. Like I like to order over order it. Yeah.

Because it's so good. Uh, the next day and the next day. Yeah. And, but then the next day and the next day and the next day, you're kind of like, yeah,

you do get a little bit. Yeah. Um, anyway, so I've, uh, I've eaten my Indian food for the year, I guess is the,

I've had, I don't know when I'll be able to get back to it being delicious and not a chore is this a place where you get like a uh spicy like you choose a number like no we just got like medium medium spice but uh like i say i've uh my ancestors grew up eating boiled foods so but you know what no the most popular food in england is curry it's true it's true but uh i don't know man those people are freaks you know what i mean yeah and you know what the most popular band is the spice girls so oh that's very true very true to this day um do you guys want to move on to some overheards? No, I would like to do

a bit of business. Oh, shit. Okay, let's do a bit of business. Oh, boy. It's time for a bit of business. This week, we got a Jumbotron message. If you out there would like to send a Jumbotron message

to someone you love or like or hate, actually, go to MaximumFun.org slash jumbo. This message is for Amy H. from Philip E. And the message is this.

Happy milestone birthday, Esmeralda. Thanks for being in my life for over 20 years, together exploring pubs from New York City to Edinburgh, as well as the dark recesses of each other's brains. No wonder we're so pale.

I love you even more than the dulcet tones of Graham and Dave. Enjoy France. Congratulate them on inventing the croissant. Cheers, Zolo. So I guess cheers is Zolo. That's a nickname. That's a pet name. Yeah, and Esmeralda is apparently a nickname, too.

It seems like there's a lot of inside jokes in this. Yeah, which is fun. It's fun to have inside jokes. Do you... I mean being pale from being in each other's brains or being pale from being in Edinburgh. Yes. That works, too.

Well, that's a great message, and we love to hear that kind of stuff. And should we get back to the show? We should, yes. You want to do some overheards? Yeah. Yeah. The following pro wrestling contest is scheduled for one fall.

Making their way to the ring from the Tights and Fights podcast are the baddest trio of audio. The hair to beware, Danielle Radford. It really is great hair. The Brit with a permit to hit, Lindsay Kell. The queen is dead. Long live the queen. And the fast talking, fist clocking, Hal Upland. See, I can wrestle and be an announcer.

Get ready for tights and fights. Listen every Saturday or face the pain. Find us on Maximum Fun. Don't ring the bell. Hey, when you listen to podcasts, it really just comes down to whether or not you like the sound of everyone's voices my voice is one of the sounds you'll hear on the podcast dr game show and this is the voice of co host and fearless leader joe firestone this is a podcast where we play games submitted by listeners

and we play them with callers over zoom we've never spoken to in our lives so that is basically the concept of this show. Pretty chill. So take it or leave it, bucko. And here's what some of the listeners have to say. It's funny, wholesome, and it never fails to make me smile. I just started listening and I'm already binging it. I haven't laughed this hard in ages. I wish I discovered it sooner.

You can find Dr. Game Show on MaximumFun.org. Overheard. Overheard. Hey there. Do you like hearing things? Do you like saying things and then being overheard? These are two things you can do in your life. Pick one lane and stay in it.

But if you love hearing things and sharing, this is the spot for you. This is the place for you. You can send them in to us. And we always like to start with the guest. Aaron, do you have something you've overheard or seen? This is going to be a seen one because I just started, you know, paying attention to the world around me over the last couple of days looking for this. But I've just sort of been at home the last couple of days so uh this was

something i saw uh this morning when i was walking back from uh dropping my son off at daycare there was a a couple uh walking in front of me maybe in their mid to late 50s and the um the husband uh uh horked off to the side yeah and uh and then took a napkin out of his right hand pocket and wiped his mouth and then put the napkin into his back pocket. Nice. And a couple of minutes later, the same thing happened with a whole new napkin. So I guess he has his fresh napkins all in the right pocket and all the dirty

napkins right in the back pocket. all the dirty napkins right in the back pocket you gotta know which is which because otherwise jim carrey movie for sure and listeners if you've been doing uh bodily fluid bingo with this week's guest uh there's another sorry they look look i can't help it i saw it you saw it yeah they the world. That's true. You got to use the word hork, which is a very much from my childhood. You're playing hork finger. It's related to hawk as in hawk-a-loo, right? Yeah. But hork is just so much more.

Those feelings. Weird. Hork-a-lorky. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I really do apologize. I don't mean to be Mr. Potty,

you know, uh, but this is, this is the world that you find yourself in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean,

I also talked about bodily fluids that, uh, yeah, not with the same frequency or, or detail. Yeah. And then mostly that whale, uh,

goo that is in the, the avatar, the avatar movie. Yeah. That wasn't, I didn't, that wasn't that is in the Avatar movie. Yeah, that wasn't as bad as what I said. Well, I mean, look, we're not here to judge. Of course, we know there's only one person who can judge us, and it is the man upstairs. Marky Mark. Dave, do you have an overheard? Yeah, this is a weird one.

As it was said, right to my face. That's a good way to overhear it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so I was walking my dogs. I've got a Boston Terrier Chihuahua cross and a Staffordshire Terrier and a woman really wanted to talk to me about my dogs. And she was like, oh, yeah, yeah, this guy. I had a Boston Terrier, too.

A lot of energy. Not as much energy as a Jack Russell Terrier. You know, when you see a Jack Russell Terrier, their owner is insane. And then she went on to say, I had a Chihuahua who lived to be 23 years old. I rescued him when he was seven, and he bit someone every day of his life. And I was like, maybe you're insane. Yeah.

Maybe your dog that you rescued at seven was actually one and lived to 16, not 23. Yeah. How do you know? Did you check his passport or how did you well you saw them in half and then you count the rings in the box yeah yeah yeah see silly me i didn't know um but anyway my dog bites someone every single day i'm not gonna try and correct it yeah it is what it is at this point she said it was like you know i lived

in gas town and there's always people like reaching down to pet your dog and yeah i guess there's nothing you can do to stop that people are always walking around with salami in their pockets and what are you gonna do you know dog's gonna attack you sticking their fingers in the dog's mouth with dog breeds i i have never like dogs have been a blind spot a spot in my life and uh i've just never memorized you know i know a few dogs like what if you did like hollies and whatever but when people tell me about the crossbreeds of dogs that they have i just don't know what they're saying i picture like the small and uh like backside of a chihuahua with the big end of a you know it's not a very sophisticated image in my head now you wrote

uh is is this uh correct you wrote for a famous dog named snoopy yes um what kind of dog is snoopy well he was a beetle gra, I'm talking to Aaron. He's the one who says he's got a blind spot for dogs. Why would you pick this moment? Did I address you in any way? But I don't know what a real beagle looks like. Oh, they look exactly like Snoopy. I don't think that that's true. They're always like, you know, dancing.

And they have a round nose? They have the ears. They have the ears. Okay, they you know, dancing. And they have a round nose? They have the ears. They've got the ears. Okay, they have ears, yeah. Down, ears that go down. Yeah, yeah. Did you know he was a beagle before Graham jumped in? No.

Yeah. Okay. No, I didn't. Actually, I'm just finding out he's a dog. My overheard yeah comes from uh i love hanging out in this plaza near where i live

you can hang out there there's got picnic tables you can buy a coffee you can hang out there for a while the last couple of days there's been a real character just hang i know this guy i've seen him does he look like kevin federline yes and he does he does some like kind of light parkour kind of stuff he's like swinging around posts and uh jumping yeah i've seen him on three different occasions yeah and the two times i've seen him he was wearing like a solid red tight superman-esque shirt and then

the next time it was a solid blue tight superman yeah do we think he's safe do we think he's going to hurt someone i i mean you always take note of somebody who's like doing something unorthodox and you're like okay he's taking up a lot of space he's taking up a lot of around a lot yeah but i hadn't seen him even talk to anybody else he's just kind of chatting to himself and uh when i saw that's also a sign that he may not be saying that that's true but i mean he hasn't done anything as far as i know um but he uh his whole conversation he was having looked like he was having a conversation on the phone but i don't think he really was was about how he was uh he was a millionaire now and he couldn't believe that he

was a millionaire so he just kind of kept saying to himself i'm a millionaire now wow like what am i gonna do with it and uh i was just like not this guy's this guy's whatever is going on with him he thinks he has a million dollars that's got to be quite a feeling to yeah to feel like you have a million dollars and like i say then he did some hardcore work he must feel like a million bucks. Yeah. He looks like a million bucks. Have you ever tried thinking that before? That I have a million dollars? Yeah. Yeah, I have pictures.

I wrote a song about it for this Canadian band, and they took it up. They were, boy, I hate to say it. Were they a little dorky? You are barking up the wrong tree here. I do not know what you're talking about okay yeah okay you're talking about the bare naked ladies right so i don't understand this dorky sort of connection oh i'm sorry i thought it was crash test dummies oh yeah those dorks dorky about the crash test dummies come on what the hell i thought it was moxie provis okay we can all agree

a dark page in canada's history we all loved moxie provis um well uh i'm not the only one that has overheards and neither are you there's people out there that hear things and share them here on the podcast if you want to send one in send it it in to spy at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Boris M. I've never met a Boris in real life. Boris M. Boris, Boris, Boris. I went to church with a Boris.

Did you really? Yeah, but I don't think I ever talked to him. He was an adult. A Boris pastor. Like boring. I don't know. Okay. We'll workshop it. Maybe stick to the pee-pee poopoo stuff um so this is the car that's been parked on my street for the past couple weeks

it has a bunch of bumper stickers on it some of the classics don't follow me i don't know where i'm going this type of stuff and then one that just says honk if you oh wow it doesn't go beyond honk of you so you can i guess fill it in for yourself or that's really like sort of a esoteric there yeah honk if you you know if if you question mark if you uh yeah yeah just honk if you i'm not even kidding i could see uh meditating on that for 20 years yeah yeah yeah yeah for sure that's like you know uh 400 level philosophy yeah and it's like bumper sticker philosophy yeah exactly uh yeah do uh do i shop do i drop how's my driving these are the ones the different

entry-level courses yeah we do get a lot of a lot i think the thing we get sent the most is people seeing that bumper sticker that says i'd rather be watching the 1999 cinematic masterpiece the mummy starring brendan fraser and rachel weiss that we get that a lot it's a good one it's a good one um but i think when you see it for the first time you're like holy shit but then when you get emailed it once a week i wonder if they're maybe there's somebody out there that's their like niche job kind of a cottage industry is making really specific funny bumper stickers yeah there was one i saw the other day in our neighborhood that it's a picture of Harry Styles in maybe Dunkirk. Okay.

And it says Harry Styles is a war veteran. That's good. Do you do all of us? I have a car. Dave has a car. Aaron, do you have a car? Yeah. Any bumper stickers?

No. No, me neither. I always loved bumper stickers as a kid, but my parents always were like, it's so stupid, it ruins the value of your car. So that was it. Baked in, baked in at the same time as all the fire and brimstone. Fair enough. We never had them growing up.

Well, also, if you, you i mean not that this is something that i do but if you do some stupid driving maneuver you know and then somebody knows exactly who did it they can see the sticker again and hunt you down forever that's yeah i also we have we uh we got these um being there done that mr bean stickers for our side podcast bonus episodes uh and i was like oh i could put one on my car wait a minute i don't want people to see that and know that it's my car well that's the thing somebody could see your car years later and remember oh you still got the outline of that faded sticker

there is nothing quite as sad as a faded sun bleached bumper sticker yeah um this next one comes from casey in arkansas my mom was driving my six-year-old son from her house to go get some food when they passed by a new neighborhood that was under construction he saw the construction vehicles there and said grandma i didn't know you lived next to an i didn't know that you live next to an excavator you never told me grandma yeah oh sure yeah people come trick-or-treating to the excavator's house all the time when you're a kid though there is nothing quite as like amazing as construction sure like do you do your your kids, Dave, did they, because you had construction

by your house for a long time, were they fascinated? Yeah, oh, there was this one excavator in town that moves from construction site to construction site that's zebra colored,

like it's painted with zebra stripes that's painted a few construction sites. That's fun. That's a big winner. Aaron, have you read the children's book

Good Night, Good Night Construction Site? No. Should I? Night Construction Site? No. Should I? Just for me? Yeah. Just for you. You send your kid to bed, and now it's daddy's time.

I have it tucked inside of a Playboy. Is your child into construction uh not really not particularly no really into what about trucks yeah i mean to a degree my kid loves uh wheels like things that spin from the grassy oh yeah yeah and so i'm waiting till he's older to tell him what happens yeah um but uh uh yeah no just like things that uh spin around he loves them so uh uh yeah by default trucks and cars are in that world but he's not particularly taken by a truck or a car right sure yeah i mean has he ever heard of a corvair no like father like son for generations my family hasn't heard of a corvair

but slowly stick together that is they do say something like that don't they that like 10 times you say it throughout the movie it's so funny this is a movie i like this is my second least favorite no second boy second most least favorite yes boy yeah i made it was the bottom of my least favorite list okay yes you should put out a list every year my top bottom list but it'll just be movies i watched that came out whenever like this is my top movies of the year include the lego movie and avatar and fear for some reason uh this last one comes from cheryl in seattle

i have an overheard from my corporate job in Seattle. I was at happy hour and I heard one tech bro say to another, you do refer to yourself as daddy in the third person quite a lot. Well, daddy's got to get his nut this year. You guys both, do you ever call yourself daddy?

Because you've earned it. You can call yourself daddy whenever you want. Sure, in traffic. Daddy's got to get home. Yeah, daddy's got to get in that lane. Roll down my window and tell the person, I'm daddy. Yeah, I use it quite frequently during the intimate act. And I never did before having

a son because I don't feel that would be right to falsely label myself a daddy. Yeah. But I am in fact a daddy now and sometimes daddy wants some, you know. That's what I've heard about daddy. Yeah, no, a lot of

daddies actually want some. Yeah. Daddy wants some of what she's having. a daddy. Yeah, no, a lot of daddies actually want some. Yeah. Daddy wants some of what she's having. Yes, please. Cut. Mom, you're not a daddy in this movie. Yeah, Mom. You're mommy. You can call yourself mommy as much as you want.

In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one, ugh, spy pod one, like these people have. Hi, Dave, Brandon, wonderful guests. This is Brian in Minneapolis with an overheard from the Mall of America. I was there recently in the M&M's store and they had these little displays for sale that were basically plastic letters M&M

and inside were hundreds of M&M's. Anyway, a woman is carrying one of these and she walks up to the salesperson and says, excuse me, do you have this in a peanut? No friggin' way. No friggin' way, man.

No friggin' way that happened, man. We have an ongoing bit now that we want the listeners to sign off by saying no friggin' way. Yeah. A cool dude called in and said it and we're just like, we love it. It's the best way to sign off.

He had seen a doctor named Dr. Seaman in the prostate part of the hospital. Yeah. No friggin' way, man. No friggin' way, man. Here's your next phone call. This is James, and I want to give you a, I guess, overseen from probably 20 or 30 years ago. But I just heard about Dr. Seaman. I'm listening to one of

your later episodes and wanted to let you know that the Northern Virginia area had a OBGYN for many, many years named Dr. Harry Beaver. No freaking way. No freaking way, man. No.

No freaking way. Also, like, the fact that there's an OBGYN in Northern Virginia. It's true. That's what Daddy likes. I literally thought he was going to say that the doctor's name was Dr. Cooch. No friggin' way, man. There's a Dr. Cooch here? Yep. no freaking way man there's a dr cooch here yep when my uh the doctor who was seeing us at the at the hospital when uh when we had uh my my son

um his name was uh dr c word nice and he was so nice so great everything but let's just like dr c word yeah we're just gonna have to have that in our mind the whole time we're interacting with you and your final phone call hi this is elizabeth from north carolina with an overheard and i was traveling to nash Nashville and visited the National Museum of African American Music. And we were touring at the same time as a large group of high school juniors. And I'm looking at them and think of it.

And from behind me, I hear, yes, get it, Ella Fitzgerald. And I turn around, and there's a young woman looking at a floor-length animal print fur coat worn by Ella Fitzgerald. Off I go. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, get it. I don't think I ever went on tour as something as cool as that when I was a kid. I think maybe...

Well, you were in Calgary, so you were probably touring Nudie Suit. Yeah, Nudie Suit Museum and the Broncon Busca. The Broncon Buscos? The Broncon Buscos. They were a family here in Calgary. Oh, yeah.

All the Broncon busco stay together yes yeah absolutely they were like a circus family they did like trapeze work yeah there are things that bronco and busco's do and there are things that bronco and busco's don't do okay yeah yeah read it read a book and you'll know. Yeah. Well. Is that all three? I mean, I can give you more. No, no, no. No freaking way, man. Let's do one more.

Sure, why not? Hey, Dave, Graham, and guests. It's Jerome calling from Calgary. Hey. I've got an overheard courtesy of my wife. She was on the train and she overheard some teenage girls talking and then one girl started talking about dogs and then

the alpha of this group said to her, oh my god, we're not talking about dogs. We're talking about boys and sucking their dicks. When she told me that story, I thought no freaking way. No freaking way man. Are you kidding me? No freaking way no freaking way man are you kidding me no freaking way

pretty good pretty good stuff is that is no freaking way running out of steam no freaking way no freaking way man um

Aaron that brings us to the end of this here uh podcast thank you so much for being our guest this has been so much fun thank you so much for having me this has This has been so much fun. Thank you so much for having me. This has

been an absolute delight. I know that that sounds stock, but in this case, it's not. Okay, well, we'll take it. I apologize for being too much into the bodily functions. If it wasn't you, it was God and the less eventually. A little quieter

at the end, just thinking like, is that all I am, a poo and pee guy? Anyway. I went to a doctor poo and pee. That's an unfortunate. Okay, doctor poo and pee. First name was also Harry, Dr. Harry Poo and Pee. Why?

Aaron, where can people find you if they want to find your work and whatnot online? Where are you located? I don't know. I only, I stopped doing Twitter. I have Instagram still. I think if you just look up my name, Aaron Eves, I'm probably the main one. Or just watch, you know, Dodgeball. He's in that.

Yeah, other than that, I don't know. Yeah, just different. You can IMDB me if you want to watch anything I've written on. Hell yeah. Well, thank you so much. Thank you listeners for listening to the show. It's always a treat to be here with you.

I think Dave's trying to find an IMDB of any. Nope, nothing. No, no, no. I was looking at that guy who looks like him. Not according to me. I didn't bring that up. Yeah, that's true. That's true.

This guy was taller and definitely more distinct than I am, though. God damn it. Thank you, everybody, for listening. Take good care of yourself and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. MaximumFun.org Comedy and culture.

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