Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 79 - Erica Sigurdson

Episode Date: September 7, 2009

Comedian Erica Sigurdson is back to talk about video stores, boot camp, and sad prank calls.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 79. 79, the year of the demolition disco night that happened in Major League Baseball. They had to force fit the game. My name, what? You got a fact about it?

Shakedown 1979. Thank you. My name is Graham Clark and with me always, is the Bud Light Lime of podcasting, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah. Do you want to talk about Bud Light Lime now? Well, in one second. Let me introduce our guest. Our guest is a two-time

returning champ, a very funny lady, and a person I'm lucky enough to be a co-host with five days a week on the City News List, Miss Erica Sigurdsson. Hello. Thank you for coming back. Thank you for having me on with the Bud Light Line. Yeah, it's not bad. I'm co-hosting with

Bud Light today. Do you want to get to know us? Sure. Get to know us. And by us, I mean do you want to get to know about Bud Light Live? That's a vampire drink. That's a version. Budweiser. And by us, I mean, do you want to get to know about Bud Light Lime? Bud Light Lime. That's a vampire drink. That's the goth version.

You guys are incorrigible. Bud Light Lime. So you bought some, and it tastes like a lime soda. Yeah, it's very light. I don't think I've ever had Bud Light regular. Have I had Bud Light regular? No, I've had just Budweiser But every time I drink Budweiser I think of a time in high school

When I drank somebody's Budweiser That somebody put a cigarette out in And that's always what I associate Budweiser with Do you think we'll get sponsored by Budweiser? We might get sponsored by Bud Light Lime I bought this today because I am a... You're wearing an Ed Hardy shirt.

Sure. I've seen it all summer long. The summer's almost over and I really wanted to taste it. So why not? Taste the fruits of summer. It's not an expensive beer.

I went to the liquor store today, and I picked this up, and there was a hipster behind me in line. Tight-ankled jeans type? Yeah. That type. Do you want to know the outfit? Yeah. Yeah. Like, T-shirt with some sort of, like, saying on it that's like, in your face!

The T-shirt had an elephant print on it. Yep. And short shorts. Oh, yeah your face. The t-shirt had an elephant print on it. Yep. And short shorts. Oh, yeah. Okay. With, you could see he had, like, a poem tattooed on his thigh. Okay, that's a thing. Because Megan Fox has that.

She's got, like, a whole half paragraph tattooed on her upper torso. Is that a new thing? Is, like, multiple words on your person? Yeah. It seems like a bad idea. Because you'd have to... I'm not going to read your thigh, am I? And you're not going to read your own because it's in the mirror.

Yeah, yeah. The whole thing doesn't make any sense. Because if it's in the mirror, you wouldn't be able to read it. No. Yeah. But if you got another mirror to reflect the image of the first mirror? What if you got ambulance tattooed on your leg?

So, what did the poem say? Oh, I didn't read it. Obvs. But I was worried like, oh, is this guy

going to think I'm uncool? Because that's what I see when I, oh, I think when I see a hipster. They think everything's uncool though. Don's what I think when I see a hipster. They think everything's uncool, though. Don't they? But is he going to get that I'm buying this?

I'm not buying it ironically, but I'm not. This is my first time buying this. First time buyer, long time admirer. But he was buying Pabst Blue Ribbon. And I thought, oh, he's a... Cliché. Yeah, he's a caricature of himself. Because that's the official drink

of the hipster kid is the Pabst Blue Ribbon. I don't know why. It probably costs the same as a Bud Light line. Why do we try to impress these people so much? I don't know. Like the video store clerk, I always feel a little bit better when he gives me a

nod when with the movie that i picked like i'm like yes roger's video guy thinks i'm cool have you ever uh rented something where you felt like the complete opposite where you're like i'm gonna get burned by the uh oh yes the clerk for this usually if j Jay's out of town and I go get something ridiculous. What was the last ridiculous one? Because you are a girl who likes girly movies. I do, but I don't like stupid movies. Like Marley and Me, that kind of movie. I don't.

Like, it's too stupid. But you're like, this summer you were very excited about The Astronaut. Or was it the time traveler's wife? Which I still haven't seen. Dog's going nuts. He's here. He's here. He just showed up naked. I have to go.

You haven't seen the TT wife yet? No, I haven't seen that yet. Because I heard it sucks, which is really sad. I think I might have rendered confessions of a Shopaholic. Oh, yeah. That would get you some looks of derision. I need to admit that I actually went to see that movie by myself at the theater. It's a date movie.

And I went alone. Yeah. Well, so yeah, we're all enjoying a Bud Light Lime. And so what? And so what? We can watch Confessions of a Shopaholic. Yeah. Big deal.

You know what happens at the video store I go to regularly is most of their sections are, the subsections are all by director. So unless, like you really have to already be a fan of this movie that you're renting before. Like a two-time renter. Yeah, exactly. So, like, I was looking for Westworld, right? Sure. Directed by Michael Crichton. Yeah.

Well, there's no section for that, because I think that might have been the one movie he directed. So then I was like, okay, sci-fi? And then I go into sci--fi it's all by director again nothing and then i'm like cult classic like i but i didn't want to ask because i was pretty sure i was going to be met with some sort of like have you ever gone up and the video clerk but somebody's put the wrong movie behind like the box. And so they read out some... Like one time I went up and... Oh, you brought the wrong movie?

Yeah, because somebody put... They obviously just did a ditch, right? And so I get out to the front and the girl's like, and showgirls? But it was like... And I was like, what? And somehow I brought showgirls up there. Oh, that's funny.

I remember my brother and I were young and we wanted to rent this movie with Christina Ricci in it. It was called The Opposite of Sex. I think we've talked about this on the show. Did we? Yeah. We were afraid to go up to the counter and ask for it because we were afraid the guy was going to zing you. Yeah. And we were going to be like, where's The Opposite of Sex?

And he was going to be like, I don't know, your bedroom. So we just left. You could have just asked him about the alphabet, and he could have pointed you in the right direction. Yeah, but that's the thing. If you go to a fancy boutique-y video store, it's, like I said, by director or some other weird, I don't know, color of box.

It's confusing. It's an exhausting exercise. So, Erica, why don't we get to know you? Yeah, what's going on? Tell us what's going on in general life. I've been doing a lot of traveling lately. Out of town every second weekend. Went to Calgary and then Edmonton, and now I'm going to Kelowna this weekend.

You have been doing a lot of kind of like weekend warrior stuff. Weekend getaways. Mini breaks. Not comedy shows? Comedy was last weekend. And then I went to Calgary for my best friend's birthday. Not just your best friend. My best friend forever, BFF.

Okay. For her birthday. And then I'm going to Kelowna this weekend for Jay's brother's birthday. And a couple weeks ago you were in, where were you? For a week with. Oh, Salt Spring with Jay's family. Yeah. So you've had a lot of like family FaceTime.

Yeah. And then in October we're going back back to colonna for his family reunion so wow geez louise wow october's next month yeah can you believe it blink of an eye where does it all go um how was uh you were so it was edmonton no wait edmonton then calgary calgary then Edmonton, no wait, Edmonton then Calgary? Calgary then Edmonton. And you opened a comedy club. Yeah, grand opening. Called Erica's Comedy Club. Yeah,.ca. And none of us in this room except for you has that distinction of opening up a comedy club.

How does it feel? I've closed a few too, which is never a good thing. Get off stage and they're like well we gave it a good college try but this obviously the writing's on the wall they're like take light bulbs with you on the way out you can keep that stool if you want um yeah it was it was fun but you know it it does feel weird when you're like the grand opening and i literally i was like oh was everybody else booked which isn't you know i don't think that's selling yourself a little short no i know but it's you you're always like that in comedy though right like no matter how hopefully unless then you

become an egomaniac if you don't think that way hoping to be one of these things i'm working on it if you get egomaniac with the money that's's fine. There's too many egomaniacs in Cranbrook. Yeah. They will talk about how awesome they are. And then in the back of my mind, I'm always like, didn't I just lend you $20? Didn't I just stick corn nuts in your jacket pocket? And roll a cigarette out of four butts? Thanks for the advice.

Did you... Now, what happens on an opening night? Like, is there, like, do they, like, do something special? Do they hand out champagne to the audience? They did have, like, a big... Did they do a countdown? It wasn't New Year's Eve. It wasn't New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve.

They did have, like, cake and food and everything, but I flew in and I landed at 724. Exactly. Apparently. The show started at 8. So my mom picked me up and drove me there and they thought I wasn't coming, even though they're the ones that booked my ticket. Oh, yeah. That was like... What did they... You told't coming even though they're the ones that booked my ticket and oh yeah that was like they what did they you told the story they got on the pa system and they were like we don't know if erica's coming so i just looked like an idiot but i'm like you

booked my ticket you knew what time i was landing we're not sure if it's gonna happen folks this club may never open start clapping if you wish really hard um who else uh was it was a three-person show a three-pronged attack yeah but it was good it was a good weekend yeah i had fun my mom lives just outside of edmonton so i got to visit her and my bff came up from edmonton so and you weren't stuck in a weird part like that's the thing is a lot of times you go and you play a comedy club and it's you know especially if it's in town you don't really know it's yeah in the ass end of nowhere and you have no car and you're accessible only by a car eating out of a vending

machine the entire weekend yeah but you were in were in the best, coolest kind of neighborhood in Edmonton. Yeah, and the hotel was great. I had a big suite with bathrobes and everything. Now, what's it like having a long-distance relationship with your BFF? Yeah, what is that like? It's not easy, Dave. I'm going to be honest with you. Do you guys ever fall out of touch?

What keeps the fires burning um we've known each other you know what because we're the people that don't buy each other's bullshit which I think is what you need in a like you know how you have friends and I'll tell most like I'll tell my friends my great new workout plan and how like you know I'm gonna do it every day and they're like oh that's really great good for you and i tell that to my best friend and she just she's like oh great another erica plan like and i do the same so we're really good at uh at really discouraging people from each other from getting in shape now that you've made me think about it i gotta rethink this whole relationship

you guys are the opposite of tommy europe who I've been talking about ever since I left the house. Yeah, and I don't know who that is still. My roommate's girlfriend, whenever she's in town, she watches a lot of the Sliced Network. And that is the channel. It's the home of Tommy Europe and the Last 10 Pounds Boot Camp. Yes. And we were watching it, and it was the first time i'd ever seen a guy on it because it's usually women that are trying to they're going to their either their

school reunion they're going to a wedding or they're getting married or they're going to maury povich to prove a bully wrong yeah exactly and this was the first time there was a guy the guy was going to propose to his girlfriend and he wanted to be uh in good shape and he lost 20 pounds in four weeks and uh which my roommate's girlfriend was disgusted by well because i guess the women on the show it comes out in your poop. It doesn't happen as fast. Yeah, they don't weigh you. They weigh your poop.

Why didn't they do... No, that's a different show. Okay. And I don't think they weigh it, do they? I thought they just investigated it. No, they don't do that on this show. They don't look at any poop on the show. You're thinking of a British show. Are you excited for Dr. Oz's new show?

Do people poop right in the Tupperware container? Right under the scale. How do you do that? I don't know how you do it. I weirdly enough thought about that. About three weeks ago, I was like, how do they get the poop in that little Tupperware container? How do you sign on for a show where you know

that's going to be a thing that's going to happen on a TV show? You're like, can we, just by what I've already shown you I eat, just assume that my shit's going to be fucked up? Like, but what if you worked... It doesn't matter what field you worked in. If you had to go back and your co-workers were like, I've seen things about you. Now anytime you don't flush

the toilet, everyone knows it's yours. Who doesn't flush the toilet? It's brown. Flush it down. It's yellow. Don't be so mellow. Flush it down also. That's gross.

If it's crystal clear, you're drinking enough water. So good for you. We it's crystal clear, you're drinking enough water. So good for you. Yeah. We're all very proud of you. Your skin looks great. Oh, Lordy. Dave, should we get to know you?

Sure. So today, I had my photograph taken for the Georgia Straight every year. The fall preview. Oh. They do a profile on a couple of comedians. Delightful. A couple of yucksters. Yep.

But usually, so I did an interview yesterday, and I'm pretty sure I came off pretty pompous. Pretty pompous. So I got my picture taken today, and the other comedian involved in this foray this year was Miss Jane Stanton, our friend of the show. Yeah, friend of the show, Jane Stanton. Two-time guest, three-time guest. Three-timer. Yeah, you got catching up to do.

It's not like I've been deleting your email. We'll talk about it later. Okay. But, yeah, so we, in the past, it's always been the comedians each get their own picture. Because Erica, in the past, you've been a part of it. And in the past, I've been a part of it. And you were the same year as Paul and Charlie. They had their picture together, but you had a separate.

Yeah. Yeah. But Paul and Charlie were a team. They were dating at the time. They were the sketch group. Bouquet. Bouquet. Bouquet.

But I, so yeah, I get there and the photographer starts explaining. And he's bitter. He's complaining that the newspaper doesn't want to pay him to take two pictures. So we have to combine them. And he sits us down. So now it looks like you guys are also a duo. Yeah, it looks like we are are also a duo. Yeah. It looks like we are. Burns and Allen.

Sure. So we get there, and he doesn't know what he wants to do. He's like, I want to do close-up. And we're like, well, then do we have to get really close together for this? If it's just one picture? You guys got to kiss. And he said. What about a bubble bath?

That would have actually been really good. I would have done... If he had had a box of kittens, I would have done something with kittens. Yeah, that would have been great. Something. So before I left the house, sometimes you see people have... They've got a prop or something,

and Jane thought to bring a McDonald's hamburger, or cheeseburger. She thought to bring, or she just brought with her and thought? No, she can't, she can't eat it. Eat it. Oh, right. She can't eat the wheat. But, so, I,

so she brought that, because she does a bit about McDonald's. Right. I've never seen her set. But. Yeah, so she brought that because she does a bit about McDonald's. Right. I've never seen her set. But. Yeah, I think Phil Hanley, when his picture, he brought a record. Yeah. That was smart.

You brought a prop as well. You brought a knife. I brought a knife and a cupcake, but the cupcake, I was walking so quickly, got smooshed. So I ate it. So this guy and so Jane brings out this cheeseburger and the thing I came up with, I didn't

I was like, here's something we could maybe do is I have a I collect watches and so I pinned a bunch of watches to the inside of an overcoat. Oh, like do the watches for sale. Yeah.

I thought that might be a fun thing. And he loved it. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's great. But he loved everything. Because I... He loved Jane.

Let me jam this burger in Jane's face. Yeah. So she's got the burger. She's like, should I stick my pinky out? Like it's a thing. Yes, you should. Like everything we face. Yeah. So she's got the burger. She's like, should I stick my pinky out? Like, it's the thing. Yes, you should. Like, everything we suggested. Yes.

I was chewing gum. And he's like, I want bubbles. I want you blowing bubbles. And so... This is like that episode of 30 Rock where they're like,

don't take the silly picture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you seen that episode? Where it's like, they're like, who is it? They they're like uh they who is it they keep throwing like uh rubber chicken at uh jenna maroney yeah and she won't do it and then uh liz lemon is like i'll do the silly picture and then she like they're like whatever's the

silliest picture is the one they'll use and then the picture comes out she's wearing like groucho glasses and she's sitting on a toilet giving birth to the rubber chicken yeah that is the thing you need someone always always always to go with you and pretend to be your manager because the ideas that come out like i have a stream of ridiculous pictures that i've taken well there's there was recently. Recently, I had... Okay, so my first ridiculous one was me standing holding up a cardboard sign that said, Mom on it, on the side of the road. I have no idea why I did that. Nor did anyone that saw it.

Then I had the recent one of the pylon on my head. And, like, there's just... Like a wizard's hat. Oh, I know what i couldn't imagine it or a dunce cap yeah no the way that she was wearing it looked more like a wizard's hat what do they do with dunces at wizard school i think about weird stuff um uh so yeah so we and and but the one thing the guy the photographer wanted was deadpan he didn't want us smiling.

And I was fine with that because I don't have a nice smile. That's not true. But I've got very piercing eyes. So, yeah. And so we took... He doesn't use a digital camera, so he's like, You get ten shots. I want five with you blowing bubbles.

And five without uh so we took four we took five with the bubbles and four without and he's like okay maybe for one you guys are like laughing and so i that's the one i did the thing where i uh took my thumb i was standing behind jane and i uh put my thumb near my genitals and i pretended my penis was poking her in the back. So that's the one that's going in. Big laughs. But it's invisible, but I'm sure that's the one they'll use. But afterwards, so we thought this guy was really weird.

How come? Well, when we sat down, just the way he talked, he was so bitter about the money he's not making. And he's moving out of his studio and the writing's on the wall for me. And he's just giving us way too much information. Oh, yeah, yeah. He takes the Big Mac from Jane and eats it. She's like, where's my prop? He's like, what prop?

This prop was stupid. I got rid of it. And he was talking about, like, I had my overcoat full of watches. And he was talking about how he once bought a fake watch from someone. And he felt so guilty because he was so greedy. And he got what he deserved. And I was like, you know, he just got screwed. But then, so he seemed like a weirdo

yeah but yeah i agree and if he's listening hi big fan of the podcast uh but yeah before the podcast i was like i don't know if i should talk about this i feel bad about uh calling this guy a weirdo and And Graham was like, just do it. And so I did. Graham is like the opposite of my manager on a photo shoot. Yeah, exactly. So afterwards, he talked about that picture of Phil Hanley that he took a couple years ago. That was a good picture.

Uh-huh. I like where this is going. Well, it doesn't matter whether it was a good picture. But he was showing it. He also teaches photography at a school. And he was going through editorial pictures. And he was showing some of his pictures. And when he showed the picture of Phil Hanley,

one of his students asked, when you took the picture of Phil Hanley, one of his students asked, when you took that picture, did you ask him if he likes little girls? Ah! What? I know! What does that mean? We didn't know,

and Jane and I, this was after the photo shoot, and Jane and I were like, well, we gotta go. But, like... I'm so angry at both of you for not probing further. Well, because he said, no, because it's editorial. You're being paid by a publication to take these pictures. But my students all want you to be in the moment and be truthful.

But how is that being, you're just being rude. moment and be truthful but how is that being you're just being rude but i imagine i guess the rest of the photography class the the non-editorial part is all about offending the person you're photographing uh i don't know i don't know anything about pumping out way too many photographers yeah and they're all weird like on on Facebook, I think two-thirds of my Facebook friends have their own photography businesses. Oh, really? Yeah. I know a lot of people think they're really good at photography, but in actuality just take a lot of photos. Which works if you're Peter Parker and you are also Spider-Man.

Then that works well. But otherwise, it's just a lot of pictures of your acidine friends. Like, have you ever seen, like, a thing where, like, you are at an event, and you're tagged in one picture, and so then you click on the album, and there's, like, 78 pictures? Yeah. And you're like, well, I was there. There weren't 78 things that happened.

Exactly. There weren't 78 pictures worth. Well, Erica and I, we were at a party a month ago, downtown, it was during the fireworks night or whatever, and we were both tagged in a photo album of which there are like 50 or 60 pictures. It was a birthday party, granted, but I went through the pictures and I was like,

some of these are the two pictures of the exact same thing. Like it's two in a row of the same person doing the same thing. So you could... There's a delete function, right? Or there's a function where you don't upload everything you took.

Yeah, pick your favorites. Pick five. That's my challenge to anybody who's on Facebook. Pick five photos where you don't upload everything you took. Yeah, pick your favorites. Pick five. That's my challenge to anybody who's on Facebook. Pick five photos from any trip or event to sum it all up. Sum it all up. Because if you think about it, there was entire generations

where you would have one photo to sum up your entire family. That would be it. And people who's like you know they're in the early 1900s or late 1800s or somebody would die and they were like we don't have a picture of him and now people would be like for like five years after somebody in your family dies you're like we could probably clear up some space on the hard drive how many pictures do we need of him standing in the kid pool?

Oh my god, it's true. When my grandfather was a doctor, and he has this great picture of his medical school graduating class from about 1920-something. And there's the whole class. They're all standing around a cadaver yes no really yes oh my god i just made that up it's like a hundred guys all men all in white coats one asian guy one black guy. Wow. And two cadavers. Really? Yeah. I was totally making that up. Do you think that those guys were just two guys that failed, that they called back and

said like, hey, do you want to be that? Lie down naked. Yeah, there was a visible penis. Wow. But I wonder why they did that. Maybe because there's so many like back in the day you could be wearing a white coat

and be a butcher so maybe you didn't want people to look back and go look at this a black butcher butcher class of 1920 better put a human body on there what about a stethoscope?

Not human body. Well, it was back then they all wore the headband with the metallic disc on the front. So they could go mining for gold? Who was that? That was the metallic thing. You would see it sometimes in old movies. They'd put it down in front of their eye.

I don't know. And that somehow helped them see through a hole in the disc. Into your leeches. Right now, nowadays, doctors will just do it with a CD. They'll just hold that up to their heart to examine you. This one failed when I was burning it. Gonna take a road trip.

Hey, Graham, let's get to know you um this week i've had a incredible uh bout of insomnia uh they like it usually comes in batches where it's like four days in a row or something where you just can't catch up so i felt like the last couple days I was on the verge of craziness. Like Tuesday night we were on a show together I remember nothing of the show. I remember the guy playing the guitar

and former guest Devin Lougheed and that Connor Haller did something with guys people on stage. And you borrowed $100 from Dave. Yeah. To cover a bad gambling debt.

And then, yeah, just kind of like at work, I'm sure I was zombie-like for... You were like a grumpy zombie. Like if a zombie showed up at your house and said, turn off your phone! Ugh, brains again. Yeah, like that. Because I was like, I think over the course of three nights,

I had a total of like six or seven hours sleep. So just crazy, not thinking properly. So if I was mean or grumpy, I apologize. If you stay up, I've heard if you stay up 72 hours and you commit a crime, you can plead insanity. Really? Yeah. I wasn't up for

72 hours. I've been up for 72 hours in the past, but this was like I'd have a couple hours of sleep a night, but then it was just like craziness. By the time I got to work, it felt like I should be going home from work. Why is that? Why can't you sleep? Do you eat sleep? Do you breathe me anymore? Do you sleep? Do you count sheep

anymore? Do you sleep anymore? Congratulations to Lisa Loeb on her pregnancy. 41 years young. It's genetic, I think. Partly. My dad, same thing. And his dad. Ever since I was maybe in grade 7, you'd just wake up in the middle of the night

and then that was it. You were just up. Can you sleep in the day, though? Not really. It's just like sleep becomes this weird... I slept last night because I took a sleeping pill, and that knocked me out, and that's why I was more functional.

But you try not to take... Because those are bad for you, from all I gather. Yeah, well, what you should do is you should get a doctor to get some medical hospital-grade stuff to knock you out intravenously every night. And then be charged with homicide. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that where you were going? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay, all right. Michael Jackson. It's been in the news. Oh, really? Yeah, so anyway, so that was the first chunk of the week and then today i went to a doctor and for the first time in my going to doctor history i was told i was instructed to lose weight oh so have you ever had that before no you no no it's not pleasant it's never i feel like that's i feel like i took a weird step into adulthood today.

Because I've always seen that in those old Mad Magazine comics. Where the guy would be at the doctor. Kaputnik. Yeah, I felt like Kaputnik today. Do you know what I'm talking about? Do you ever read Mad Magazine? Nope. They used to have this series of comics.

And one of the setups was always this guy at his doctor. He was always sitting in his underwear and undershirt. And the doctor would come in and be like... And he'd have a pipe too, wouldn't he? Yeah, he smoked a pipe. And maybe the doctor had a pipe. I think the last issue was that he was diagnosed with bone, like jaw cancer from smoking the pipe for so many years. But yeah, he was told I got to lose...

Did he say that it had something to do with your sleeping? Nope. He just said, yeah, you got to lose some weight. But you know what is weird? Because I went to this new doctor in Yaletown. And when I first went to her. And he was like, Botox, Botox, Botox. But she was like, she didn't say anything about my weight.

And this is when I was like at my heaviest. Like 35 pounds heavier than I am now. And so anyways, she doesn't say anything about me losing weight and then i lost like 55 pounds but i was two pounds near the line of being like overweight and so she said just so you know you're getting near and i was like she's like have you noticed any difference in in your weight and i go yes do you not notice that i'm 55 pounds lighter than i was last time i was here and then because sounds like you've since put on 20 yes i have thanks for doing the math at home um but it because it's weird because if you're really overweight they don't say anything to you

but if you're a couple pounds overweight they throw it in your face yeah why would they not say anything for years of me being like do they think you're gonna fly off the handle and be like what no i think that they think that maybe you're past the point of talking you know like they're like well she obviously just likes to sit and eat i'm surprised she got off the couch to come here Should I call a wheelbarrow for you to get off? Okay, that's enough Graham, you know who I think could help you lose this fight? Tommy Europe Professor Europe or whatever his name is

His name is Tommy Europe He's a former football player There was a guy on Celebrity Fit Club who was the drill sergeant there. He's a Canadian version of that. Oh, this is a Canadian program. Oh, it sounds great. It's filmed here in Vancouver. Oh, good. He was in our

studio recently. Yeah. I have a feeling that he's probably a friendly guy in real life, but he plays a real bully on the show. Oh, he's a... He's a black doctor. No, I was like, he plays a real bully on the show. Oh, he's a... He's a black doctor. No, I was like, he's a boot camp guy, but he's a... Is a drill sergeant something you don't have to actually...

Is that just like a... Is boot camp a real thing? Yeah, boot camp's the thing that you go through to go in the military. Yeah, but you can start your own boot camp for chubbos. But then you have to do a stint in Iraq still. Oh, but you can start your own boot camp for chubbos. But then you have to do a stint in Iraq still. Oh, is that right? In your bikini. In yoga pants. Yeah, when you sign up

with the Yaletown boot camp, when you read the fine print, it actually says you have to go do a hitch in Afghanistan. But why can't you just show up and follow them around? Yeah, without paying. Yeah, bring your own step. My friend did one of those boot camps. I'm doing the step.

I wish people could see your legs right now. They look like puppet feet. Yeah. I've got dancer's legs. My friend did one of those boot camps, and she said one morning they were all running, and this old man was walking, and he suddenly just turned around and screamed run maggots run now it seems to me that a boot camp is just a regular exercise but outside early in the morning with someone yelling at you yes and you know what's i think the core of boot camp is

that you would wear wear. Like, that was the thing. Like, in the military, like, you do all these crazy physical activities, but you're in boots the whole time. Did we sign up and show up in Fleabag boots? Yeah. With flames on them. Like, fancy boots? Yes, we should. Watching

Jenny Jones and Maury Povich in the late 90s, early 2000s, any time a teen was out of control, they would either send them to boot camp or give them a makeover. Yeah. And it was kind of arbitrary which one they did. You know, Jenny Jones really went through this crazy... Because when I was younger...

Did you ever watch Jenny Jones when it was first on the air yes and it was it was it was more like the ellen show because they'd have really silly topics and then she would do something called purse check which i thought was the funniest segment like she would just go into the audience and be like i will give 50 to anybody who has an apple in their purse and all these women would be like, I got an apple. That's so crazy. But then it got to the point where women... People would just bring... Yeah, they'd bring like crazy shit in their purse. Just in case.

So then she would... But then you had to up the stakes and ask for more and more outlandish, like a full pencil case. And somebody would be like, I got it. But then one season, it was wacky good times. And then the season it was all whores and yeah whores and and yeah exactly what else is there paternity tests i think once paternity tests really went cheap that's when yeah daytime talk

shows really took off uh you know how they do paternity tests Is they see if your urine Tastes like your kids urine I thought that they just checked the clearness And if you both have clear urine You're related That's great So anyways tell me if you're listening Graham needs to lose those last

How many did your doctor say to lose He didn't say he just said you have to lose weight. Did he point to your stomach? Yeah, he did this. He kept flicking it. He poked it with a medical stick. Then he gave you a raspberry before you left. A motorboat.

You see this sound? I shouldn't be able to make this sound. Yeah, it's like lift up your shirt. I have to show you something. It's something I learned in doctor college. We used to do this on cadavers so i don't know well it'll work on a live human being all right so uh should we move on overheard okay overheard overheards things overheard in general life. Erica, I know you said you had one a couple weeks ago.

Then you said you had another one. I leave it up to you. If you want to do one or more, it's up to you. But guess goes first. Okay. Can I do both? Yeah. Do you want to bookend it?

Do you want to do one and then we'll go around and come back to it? Okay. I'll do my – because one of them is pretty like – well, I don't know if it's pretty whatever. I think it's kind of dirty because I overheard it in a bathroom. But I'll tell my first one. I was walking home from work on a beautiful August afternoon. And as I approached Denman Street, which is where near I live, there's this group of seniors, probably in like their mid-60s. And there was a, they were all sitting on benches and there was this one sassy lady

and she was standing there, and just exactly as I walked by, she said, all right, everybody, hands up. Who hasn't had a colonoscopy? And I just laughed. Yep. Hands up. Hands up. All hands up in this room.

Do you know anybody who's had one? I've heard they're thoroughly unpleasant. Charlie, didn't he? No, he had a cleanse or something. Yeah, which he talked about on the podcast. Really? I still can't find that podcast. The first one with Charlie? Number four. Yeah, we keep that

hidden. No, we don't. It's on iTunes. It's numerically sorted. No, I couldn't find it. Well, look harder. Dave, do you have it over here? Here's one. Mine's from television. I was watching TV.

On Louis C.K.'s album, or I guess his first album, he had a bit about people who don't finish a saying. Yeah, yeah. Like when in Rome. Or bird in the hand. Yeah. Yeah. Like when in Rome. Or bird in the hand. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, this was a news story, and it was a woman who had been scammed. And she said, to sum up the whole thing, she said, If it sounds too good to be true, then that's so, so true. I like it. That's a good quality television overheard. Did Tommy Europe say anything overhearable? I mean, he just comes off as such a bully. I don't know

if he is in real life. Does he get results? He gets results. He does get results. You got to what? Respect results? Him. You got to respect him.

Why? Oh, because he gets results. Oh, fair enough. Good call, Dave. Thanks. My overheard comes courtesy of the Bay. A department store in our country. Hudson's Bay.

Hudson's Bay Trading Company, the oldest store in all of Canada. Maybe North America. Maybe North America. I don't know if there's Target, though. Yeah. Been around a while. When I was in the,

there's like a staircase, there's like the men's bathroom, and it kind of is, they've got a really old, old, old, old staircase in the back. And when I was walking around, I guess there's a storage room on the next level, and I just heard very faintly, so can we recycle mannequins? And that's all I heard. And then I've been thinking about that kind of ever since. Could you recycle a mannequin yeah

uh well you should reduce them and reuse them you should just have those ones that are just the torso yeah that's reducing your mannequin waste your mannequin footprint but you could sell it on craigslist i'm sure yeah perverts i just never thought about it before like what happens to a mannequin when it's busted down to its absolute, you can't use it anymore. Drive around your motorcycle and it comes to life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Catrall style. Catrall? They made two of those movies. Two. Two.

Of mannequin films. Is that the one with the song Put Your Hand in My Hand, Baby? Don't Ever Let Go? Remember that one? They were driving around on the motorcycle? I don't know. Anyways. Well, I imagine you're right. It was the raindrops keep falling on your head from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid of your generation.

That's right. And then you have another overheard, and then we have some written-in overheards. Yes. And then we have some called-in overheards, just so everyone keeps everything in order. Yeah. Okay.

If we miss a beat, the letters will come. Yeah. So this was in the bathroom at the Edmonton Laugh Shop where I went to do the grand opening. And on the Saturday night, and you know when you're in the bathroom and there's people talking in the stalls and you feel like you should go, I'm in here. Like, stop talking. Yeah, too much. Yeah.

And so these two girls, and they've obviously had a lot to drink. And the one girl's like, I think you slept with him. And the other girl's like, no, I didn't. I swear. And she's like, I think you did. I just have this feeling that you slept with him. And she's like, and they're still in the stall. Like, I feel like they're talking through the doors like confession style.

And she goes, okay, honestly, do you want the truth? And now I want the truth. I'm off my seat i'm up i'm listening and she goes a little bit of fingering a little bit of hand job and that's it i don't understand and i was like that was probably the conversation in the men's bathroom that he's telling his friends is way different. He's like, she was so mean. A little bit of fingering and a little bit of a handjob. What does that even mean?

I don't know. Do you know how she got that information out of her? How? Their BFFs. Probably. A little bit of a handjob. Yeah, there's an expression for that. Say hello to my a handjob. Yeah, there's an expression for that. Say hello to my little handjob.

Is that the expression you were thinking of? Yep. But I think she actually slept with him. Yeah? Oh, yeah. Yeah, in that province. Anything goes. Yeah, it's true.

She does sound like a tart. Yeah. I think we can all agree with that. All right, so overheards written in? Overheards? Yeah, please. All right. That we can all agree with that. Alright, so Overheard's written in? Yeah, please. Alright. That's the order I laid out. The order of the phoenix. What is that from?

Harry Potter. Oh, Harry Potter. You know, I really am not up on my Harry Potter. No, me neither. But as far as I know, the wizards wear dunce caps. I'm not up on any of my potters. Beatrix. Pottery Barn.

And that blonde actress who was once on Boston Legal. Swoozie Kurtz. Potter. Okay, the first overheard is's an overseen And It's from

Kyle in Cape Cod And There's a Well there's one that he saw In a bathroom He said he was at A seafood restaurant That is famous for its seafood

In the bathroom Right at eye level At the urinal Someone had angrily written Eat my fat cock And underneath it Someone else had politely written or just try the conch fritters. So I appreciated that. And then he sent in a couple of photos.

One of them said, bear poo only. Poo is spelt like Winnie the Pooh. Sure. I didn't really get that. But my favorite was it's a box. It looks like it might have been at a flea market or something It's a box of plastic trumpets And it says on the box

It says blow it you own it Oh no I think it's Like inflatable things Inflatable toys Does that not look like a plastic trumpet? It's hard to see from here Those look like feet Plastic? It's hard to see from here. Oh. Those look like feet. Plastic trumpets.

Oh, you're right. What are those things dangling over the box? They're inflatable somethings, aren't they? They are inflatable. Yeah. So we're both It looks like they're puppets that hang to themselves. Yeah. Alright, so that was that one. This is from Sarah N. It was recess at my high school. Stop right there. They have recess at high schools?

Yeah. Really? We have in-between periods. We had an extra long in-between periods between first and second period, though. Oh. Yeah. It was just 10, 15 minutes. You know.

Enough time to do drugs. It was enough that they opened the school store. And start a gang. Did you guys have school stores? Yeah, we used to break into it. Yeah, I went to Bayside. Bayside only had one episode with the school store. Alright.

It was recess at my high school. And I heard a girl say to her group of friends very seriously, I want to be a MILF when I grow up. So I guess a girl say to her group of friends, very seriously, I want to be a MILF when I grow up. Well, so I guess that's where the bar is set now. Yeah, I'd like to be a good mother. Who you'd like to fuck. Who you would enjoy having sex with.

If the MILF refers to someone else, is it MILF with a Y? Mom, you'd like to F? Yeah, it's implied. Okay. The spelling change is implied. I'd like to be a mom you'd... So, okay. Rob B. from Brooklyn, New York wrote in,

I was at Ikea the other day and had to wait for someone to help me while I was waiting. I was listening to the conversation the Ikea worker was having with one of those backwards hat-wearing dude guys. Bud Light Lime. Bud Light Lime. They were looking at an entertainment center. Dude guy, how big of a TV can this thing hold?

IKEA, 50 inches. Dude guy, so will it hold a 46-inch TV? Well done, Rob. Thank you. And finally... We make fun of Bud Light Lime, but we're drinking two kinds of beer, and the Bud Light Limes have gone like hotcakes. Well, because it's light.

There's a limey taste. Yeah. British, I mean. Limey. The limey. So this is from Paul E. Shore? Yeah, Paul E. Shore.

I didn't want to say his last name, but there you go. Okay, there's a big preamble. I'm trying to cut through it. Please. There's something. There's Mindy. Sometimes people send in these overheards as if they want us to read four paragraphs. It's as if they've never heard Graham read before. Ouch.

Like I can't read properly? Is that what you're saying? Well, it's... I'm much worse. I make you do the reading, but it's not as good as the phone calls. I would almost cut and paste them all into one Word document before the show started. You know what, Erica? Tired Graham. That's what

makes you a professional. Maybe at four in the morning when you can't sleep. Yeah. Good points, both of you. Both sides making excellent points right now. Anyways, two girls talking, and one of them is named Mila, and the other one is named Mindy. And Mila says, so I can donate the meat to charity

and use the skin to make an armoire? And Mindy says, an armoire? And Mila says, yeah, you know, the thing you put your feet on. So without the lead-up context, still enjoyed it. She meant ottoman, I assume? Yes, and also I think she was talking about killing something and trying to make it more ethical by using the skin. Right. When she said the meat and the skin, I assumed it was chicken. Yeah, make it more

chicken skin. But now that it's an ottoman, it's probably a cow. No, chicken skin really is the one animal skin that you never see a garment made out of. No, but you can eat it. Yeah, but you could eat cow skin. Couldn't you? Should we make some Kentucky Fried Chicken shoes? Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say. I think we should. Kentucky Fried Sneakers. Dave? Sure. We've got a glut of called in overheards. Do we? Awesome. I wouldn't say a glut, but I did.

Hey, stop podcasting yourself. This is Tristan from Calgary calling in with an overheard. I was at a social gathering earlier tonight. It was more of a drinking party. Didn't really know anyone there. It's one of those parties you kind of regret going to, but I got a couple of good overheards out of it. And one was just sitting on the couch,

and two kind of friends were talking in front of me. The conversation went kind of like friend one to two, hey, so I figured out today that Twinkle Twinkle Little Star sang to the tune of ABC. Second friend, no way. And they both kind of hum it out. And then kind of thinking about that just for a second. Then friend one violently barfs all over friend two. And yeah.

Oh, there is nothing like a surprise twist ending. Yeah, yeah. He was dead the whole time. Oh, man. You could improve any overheard with just, oh, and then out of nowhere, vomit. Was that Tristan? Was that his name? Yeah.

Yeah, that was great. And I disagree with your assertion that it was a party you wish you didn't go to. Yeah. Sounded great. Hey, Graham and Dave. It's Steve from L.A. Just calling in with an overheard or rather an overseen. I was in class the other day and I was fucking bored. So I looked at the guy in front of me's notes, looked at what

he was writing, and he'd written one of those poems that's basically an acronym, you know, where you take each letter of a word and write another word off of that. And so the main word he was working off of was damn girl. Like, damn girl, you're fine. Anyway, the acronym that he'd made from the phrase damn girl was dad and me never go fishing in real life. That couldn't have less to do with anything. And the G they used for two words.

Go fishing. That's like he started out on one project And then just started thinking about his dad Every poem he writes is about his dad You never really take me fishing In real life But in my poems you do Hey fellas, it's Lauren from Cincinnati. This summer, I was actually, Lauren, in Paris,

and I just got back the other night. But my last night in town, I got a pretty sweet overheard at the Eiffel Tower. I was walking down the stairs of the Eiffel Tower, and on one of the kind of platforms, the front of the stairs had a picture of Gustav Eiffel that was kind of chopped up and put, the front of the stairs had a picture of Gustav Eiffel that was kind of chopped up and put on the front of the stairs. So when you looked at it dead on, you could see the whole image.

I'd come down the stairs and turned around and saw this picture of this old-timey, bearded, mustachioed man in like a cravat and shit, real old-timey. And this dude came down the stairs behind me and in English was like, check it out, there's like James Dean on these stairs and shit. James Dean. Thank you very much. It was Lauren, right?

Yeah. Yeah, she sent us a postcard from Paris. Oh, nice. Yeah. Do they send them here to your house? It's not important. I'm not giving out my address. Why? Well, because you wouldn't even give me your address. We met on the corner.

You blindfolded me and walked me in. It was a potato sack. And I held a gun to your back the whole time. Or at least I said it was a gun. So thanks very much for that, Lauren. We have another one that is similar. It speaks for itself. Hey, Graham and Dave.

This is Kevin from Souk. We went over a herd. I was recently out in Toronto. I had a little vacation, and I took a tour of the Sky Dome, and the Red Sox were in town, so I was the only Canadian on the tour. Everyone else was from the Boston region. And there's all these pictures in the tunnels in in the skydome of legendary moments in skydome history and jay's games and whatnot

and there was a picture of a man with a with a violin standing in front of a huge orchestra one of the guys from boston in front of me uh said to the other guy who's the queer with the fiddle was it legendary queer yo-yo mom he plays a cello i know um maybe it's like perlman um you can take a tour of the sky dome yeah But there's not a lot of history there. It opened in 1991. I would like to take... I'm surprised that you can't take a tour of... BC Place? No, in Toronto. Oh, Maple Leaf Gardens?

Well, it doesn't exist anymore. No, it's still there. Is it still? Yeah. Oh, they don't play hockey there anymore. No, but it's still sitting in the middle of downtown Toronto. Oh, that's a shame. It's the weirdest.

Have you ever seen it? Like you just, you're walking downtown. It's actually really crazy. I didn't really realize, the first time that happened, I was going to a comedy show and I came around the corner. And then I realized like this one building took up the entire block that I was walking on. And then I looked up and it was Maple Leaf Gardens. And it just sits empty. Nothing goes on in there.

It's not a place that you can rent out and do shows in. You know, like how we have the Vogue. It's not open, but you could rent it out. But it's filled with history. I mean, it's been there a long time. And it's a beautiful building. But it just sits there history. I mean, it's been there a long time, and it's a beautiful building, but it just sits there empty. And it does.

It takes up a whole block of Toronto real estate. I bet they'll make it into cool Maple Leaf Gardens condos that will sell for millions. Like keep the base of it and then build upwards. I feel like there's a barber shop in barber shop in toronto that has old seats from maple leaf gardens that you can sit in yeah i feel like that exists and also you can get your haircut by rocket richard wrong city no i know that but also a barber shop with uh you know hockey chairs that doesn't make any sense either, does it? No, I guess not. Although the chairs exist, Brock Richard is dead.

Touche. That's a real down note. Good night! If you guys want to send in an overheard either by email or by telephone, the telephone number is 206-339-8328, and our email is stoppodcasting339-8328. And our email is StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com. Maurice Richard,

nicknamed Rocket Richard, his brother was Henri Richard. Do you know what his nickname was? Uh, Rocket D. The Pocket Rocket. That's not true, is it? It sounds obscene, but it's true. Because it is obscene yeah why would they

call him the pocket rocket uh because he was like a small version of the rocket that's what the rock's little brother's name is the pocket rock the pock rock yeah because he's got acne duane the pock rock johnson yeah you heard it here first. Can we just play this? We just received a phone call. Let's play it now. Okay, just a random phone call? Yeah. Hello, everyone. I have a, I guess it's an overseen.

It's, I just, regardless, it's amazing. My friend had a cell phone that had some pre-programmed text messages on it. Like if you wanted to send a text message really quickly, it had like 10 or so generic text messages. One of them was like, I love you. One of them was like, let's meet up or something. So you could just like press the number of that text message and it would send that text message out and you wouldn't even have to type it.

One of them was, can't take this life anymore. I just thought that was phenomenal. I hope you are doing well. Bye. Thank you very much. Thank you very much for calling that in. My goodness.

Wow, that's a sad phone. Yeah, and how many times, I i guess maybe he harasses the suicide text line yeah you can really only use that once that's got to be number 10 on the list of 10 wow do you think they sent it by accident he meant to hit six but he hit nine do you think the six let's get a burger nine i like there's 10 of them and the first one is i like you a lot second one is i love you the third one is hey why don't you call me anymore what do you mean you're seeing somebody else and it ends with i can't take this life anymore and he's been through that so many times like i'm not typing this all out again. The average

cell phone user. It's a niche market. Wow, thank you very much for sending in very funny stuff. Alright, so we're going to do a thing. We haven't done this segment for a while and some people have sent in things over the last while. We did a couple of them last week, but it's

the Neighborhood Jerks or Neighborhood Nickname segment. Can't remember what it's called. It jerks or neighborhood nickname segment can't remember what it's called it doesn't really have a name play the theme though we got a theme who's that guy carrying the flag every day what do you call him flag pete flag frank you don't know his name. So you made up a name. Yeah. Okay. So neighborhood nicknames. Somebody in your life.

You don't know their name. They're a character. No. Jada, you actually have written a song about this woman. I will pen it and you guys could sing it because it's quite good. It's a crazy Safeway lady who works at, and I'm sure anyone who lives in the West End will know this woman. She worked,

it's the Safeway on Davy and Cardero. Okay. And she is like really official and she wears gloves and she punches all the keys with her pencil and she won't touch them. I know who you're talking about. Yes, she's insane. And if a manager ever stood there with a checklist of what she was supposed to do, she wouldn't fail because she does say thank you. Does she say your name when she gives you your Safeway card back?

Yes, but it's like everything comes out super bitchy and snide. She does work at a Safeway after all. She's always paging people over the intercom and demanding and now she's been transferred to the customer service desk and it's quite funny. I want to hear this song.

I can't sing, but the words go crazy Safeway Lady You're always wearing gloves We try to be nice to you You don't give us any love So anyways There's like two or three verses

That's pretty good And every time we leave We The two of us sing this song And harmonize quite lovely I'll bring Jay in And we'll sing it together Alright

I like it So Crazy Safeway Lady Simple She's nutty she works at safeway she's a lady and she told me she has two cats at home okay i think she was probably saying that to sound less crazy i think she has about eight or nine three of them dead one of them a puppet one of them a puppet. One of them a corpse. Yeah, not even a cat. All right. Courtney D. Hi, guys.

Is it wrong to include children in this category? She says, I thought not. So she answered her own question. But I would have said, no, it's not wrong. So she kind of gives a lot of background information. She said, the kids roam the neighborhood day and night. They're always dirty. I call them the dirty babies.

Sure. I let them play in my yard because they don't have yards. Oh, that's nice of you. And she says, I can't step out of my house to check the mail without a gang of them running up and hugging me and getting me all dirty they're positively sticky individually I think of them as the girl the fat one, the one with the loud bike who's stupid, the slightly less stupid

one who has two adult teeth and that other one that's the core group, in general they're the dirty babies so well done. Yeah. And keeping them all apart. That's how they did it on John and Kate Blasey.

The dirty babies, I imagine they're like the Muppet babies. They're the baby version of the dirties. Of old Dirty Bastard. Of old Dirty Bastard, yeah. Gert McGirt. Wasn't there, wasn't he called himself Little Baby Jesus at one point? Big Baby Jesus. Big Baby Jesus, thank you.

You know what? I think we just have the one. Because I think this one we've? Big Baby Jesus. Big Baby Jesus. Thank you. You know what? I think we just have the one because I think this one we've already done. So there you go. All right. But I like that one. Dirty Babies. All right. So one of a favorite segment, one that we routinely, every time we do it, people write in and they say, oh, I love that segment.

And we didn't know. Oh, boy, howdy. Oh, boy, howdy. Do it again. And it's got a snappy theme song and it's sounds a little something like this you can punch me in the belly you can call me retarded but don't get me started don't get me started so So, okay, Dave. Sure. How do you feel about cashiers who accidentally touch your hand? Are you sure it's accidental?

Because I, whenever I pay for something with cash, I make a point of not touching their hand. Sometimes I'll just throw the money down on the counter for them to pick up. But when they give me change, it's always brushing up against my hand. They should be worried about germs. They come in contact with more people a day than I do. They touch money all the time. But, oh, that's just the feeling of a human hand on mine when I'm playing with money.

But this is pushing us to a cashless society. We're going to be all plastic now because of these stupid cashiers who just brush up against you casually. Ain't no thang. Don't get me started. I wish I hadn't got you started. It's also a hand sanitizer society we're headed towards. Erica. Yes, Dave.

Do you have any strong feelings about litter bins? Well, funny you should ask because I do. Because I do not appreciate it when I go to a gas station, and I find this happens in America more than it happens in Canada, and instead of saying garbage, it says litter, which litter is stuff that's on the side of the road. If it's in the garbage can, then it's garbage. It's not litter.

Littering is something you do by throwing stuff out your window. can, then it's garbage. It's not litter. Littering is something you do by throwing stuff out your window. So you're asking me to take the stuff out of the bin and throw it on the ground, which I've done on three occasions. Twice, I've gotten a bylaw ticket. Don't get me started.

You're worried about cashier hands. Oh my goodness. And Graham, I would like to know what you think of escalators. Oh, escalator. Here's the thing, Vancouver, and I'm sure other cities, but Vancouver, let's handle you first. We just got a brand new train that just opened a couple weeks ago, and it's got escalators at every station. And here's the rule, just like the road and in everyday life. Right is for standing or slow lane left is for moving do not stand in

the left do not rest your bags in the left do not uh you and your girlfriend stand hand in hand right and left right is for standing left is for walking don't get me started on escalators yeah romance doesn't belong on escalators. Damn right. What the fuck are people standing on escalators for? Unless you're infirmed. Move it. Is it infirmed or just infirm? Infirmary? Wikiet.

I don't know. Alright. That was great. Yeah. Do you want to wrap this guy up? Yeah, sure. This has been my favorite thing, though, to ask a guest. It's kind of a parting question. It's the question, do they want chips? Do you want chips?

Dave, do you have chips? That's not good for a podcast, though, as I go out crunching chips. No, I was going to ask anything is there anything in your life we've been doing a i've been asking the guests the last few weeks something in your life that you feel that you enjoy very much but you know that you are too old to be enjoying that thing let's play the theme song. You're too old for, forget it. And it started from that conversation that Charlie and I had about The Lion King.

We realized we were much too old to be enjoying The Lion King. Do you have something in your life, like you enjoy it, you know it's for kids. You know you should be past it, but you still... But I still do it? You still do it's for kids. You know you should be past it, but you still... But I still do it? You still do it.

Coloring. Really? No kidding. I will color with little kids, and I get really passionate about it, and then I start controlling the coloring. I'm like, no, but don't you see? If you do that dark color, and then they look at me all strange, but I really like it. Erica Sigerson loves coloring. I do.

Do you ever, when you're done coloring, do you put it up in the fridge? I don't color often, but when I do. Do you buy books? No. You just download stuff from the internet? Yeah. Mostly. I don't know what you're getting for Christmas.

So coloring. A coloring book. Are you a pencil crayon person or a crayon person? the internet yeah yeah mostly well i know what you're getting for christmas um so coloring a coloring book are you a pencil crayon person or a crayon person oh um or felt oh yeah felt pen you know what felt pens for a left-handed person are a bad that's gonna color up your hand color up my hand you drag it across the uh page you coloring, it doesn't matter if you're left-handed or right-handed. You don't write words with a felt pen. No, but you, most right-handed people, you start over here and you start coloring this way. But no matter which way I start coloring, I'm dragging my hand forward or backwards. That's true.

Are you left-handed or right-handed? Right-handed, but I can't understand the logic of that. Well, let's get a book, and I will show you. None of my books. I don't want you to draw in any of my books. I don't draw. I just color. She just colors. Sorry, I don't want you to color. No, not that one.

I also still really enjoy prank calling sometimes. Oh, really? Yeah. When was the last time you prank called? Yeah. Well, sometimes sometimes never mind i don't want to finish it i think i talked about this last time didn't i about how if i'm in a bad mood or a sad mood i just like calling anywhere in texas because i love their accents i've never heard this no that's amazing, that's amazing. Really? I realized this when I worked

at a bank. That's an expensive habit. It's only if you're really sad and about to send that text message that says you want to kill yourself. But they answer the phone. They're so friendly down there and their accents. And everything's bigger.

That's where all my exes live. Have you ever been to Texas? No, but I want to go. I've been to, if I may give you a recommendation, stay away from Houston. Really? It's not that nice of a city. I've heard good things about Dallas, though. I'm going to give you the opposite advice.

I've heard great things about Houston. It's America's fourth biggest city. You've heard good things about Houston? And I've heard they've got great restaurants. They do, actually. I think I had an odd experience in an odd neighborhood. But I believe in Dallas, it's one of the cheapest real estate markets. I've got fun facts about Texas.

Yeah. El Paso also I heard is nice. I encourage people to email me at ericacomic at gmail.com with your Texas restaurant spots. I'm publishing a book called Two Facts About Texas. Is it a coloring book? It's going to be. It's going to be 100 pages, but two facts. And it's going to come with a coupon for Texas toast.

It's going to be great. You're going to get the color and pictures of all my favorite Texans, the late singer Selena, Colby from Survivor J.R. Ewing Mike Judge no he's not I don't know what about Bobby Hill

you can call her in cartoons yeah Sky's the limit so if you would like to order Dave's book pre-order write to us at stoppodcastingyourself at gmail.com So if you would like to order Dave's book that's coming out. Pre-order. Pre-order. Write to us at StopPodcastingYourself at gmail.com. He's not actually posting a book.

Go to Amazon and set a reminder. In the Oprah's Book Club section. Yeah, I think I got a good feeling about it. If not, maybe Dr. Oz. And maybe, if not, Rachel Ray. That's how I rank them. This summer, Dr. Phil has been running reruns, but they call them Classic Dr. Phil.

It says that on the screen. I'm a big fan of the classics. I'm studying the classics. I don't watch it, but the dog does. And if you want to reach us for any reason, if you're from Texas and find our accents delightful, 206-339-8328, 206-339-8328 206-339-TEET and

check out the blog that Dave updates every week and his very nice companion piece with the podcast at stoppodcastingyourself.blogspot.com Graham, do you have anything you would like to promote? I don't think this will be out in time. You'll be back from Victoria. I have things coming up

in, like, I think you and I are going to be appearing somewhere at the comedy festival, but I don't know when. Do you have anything? I probably should have started with you. Next week, I will be at Yuck Yucks hosting the week of

September 10th. Yuck Yucks hosting the week of September 10th. September 10th. Yuck Yucks in Vancouver. In Vancouver. Okay. And who are you there with? Do you know? No idea.

Oh. Well, you just go out to see Erica Sigurdsson. She's a delight. So funny. And I'm ticklish. Yeah. Super ticklish. And she opened that club in Edmonton.

Yeah. Physically. Yeah. She opened the door. She cutmonton. Yeah. Physically. Yeah. She opened the door. She cut the ribbon. Yeah, you didn't think I was doing comedy, did you? I don't know. No, I was serving tables.

She smashed a champagne bottle on it. Yeah, you opened. Every other weekend, Erica opens a shopping mall, a bowling alley, a comedy club, whatever. Whatever needs her, she's there. But thank you for being a guest again. Thank you for having me. Is there anything I want to promote? Is there? Well, let me tell you.

No, but as we're recording this, last week we talked about L.A. Inc. and apparently that receptionist we hated on L.A. Inc., apparently she's doing stand-up comedy on tonight's episode. Yeah, but by the time you listen to this, that episode will

already be passed. But tune in next week, because we will talk about it on the next edition of this podcast. Whatever it's called. You know, and thank you for listening. Tell your friends if you enjoyed it, and come back next week to hear us talk about LA Inc. on Stop Podcasting Yourself. yourself.