Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 794 - Everardo Ramirez

Episode Date: June 6, 2023

Comedian Everardo Ramirez returns to talk first jeans, Love and Death, and prom.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 794 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who will just have to agree to disagree that when you pull a fire alarm, ink gets on your hands. Mr. Dave Shumka. Also, he has a very nice new haircut. I had it last time too.

But the hands, the I think we agreed before the show that it's just a glass rod. It's a glass

rod. We were talking about how, but if you were a kid and you were going to do

it, you'd wear some kind of glove just to make sure, right? Just in case.

Yeah, the Elva glove. Is there a thing where you can, like a bully puts a

kid's hand on it and pulls that down that seems to be so yeah i guess before the show we were talking about is there a way of viral do fire alarms have some kind of ink to mark the hand of who pulled the fire alarm so that pranksters won't it won't do it but to deter pranksters or you'll be able to catch whatever the prankster you'll never catch the original prankster i love the idea of do you think you ever were in school with somebody who did that like or were all your fire drills legit yeah we uh well we said a prayer at the beginning of school

that was like may all our fire drills be legit um i don't think it was ever pulled uh i don't think it was ever pulled by a prankster fuck man they're the best pranksters did you did yours ever done by a prankster yeah ever out of sit down more than once you went to prank high i went to prank high it was a big high school so there were a lot of people trying to fit you know trying things on as an attitude and so i feel like there was more than one what um what about uh the myth of the uh peeing in the pool like they're oh the blue dye yeah i don't know i mean it seems like there would be every pool would just be blue dye i think think so too. I think like the, if even if they did have the technology, it would be like, well now you,

first of all, no one wants to swim in the pool anymore. And this guy, this is a big spender from the hotel. Doesn't want to, he's leaving because we outed him as a pool pisser. Um, our guest today,

not necessarily a pool pisser. I'm today not necessarily a pool pisser i'm not necessarily a prankster a very funny comedian return guest here to the podcast he has a new album he'll tell you all about it's everardo ramirez what's up guys and how's it going good i was just dying to get in on that alarm ink uh conversation i don't know if it's true or not but i did read a book by my high school bully uh from a high school prankster he wrote a book todd bertuzzi he didn't pull it but he did uh he wrote a book if i pulled it and he talks about what he would do and he says yeah i would probably grab another kid's hands to leave no fingerprints really it just seems like such a bully move to like grab somebody's hand and do something with it yeah knock something over it's like the stop hitting yourself thing but

with yeah the fire alarm yeah so i've looked i've looked i've looked it up. Fire alarms do not and never did spray ink. This myth likely originated to deter childhood pranksters from pulling the fire alarm in their schools to impress their friends. Even though a fire alarm doesn't spray ink, it's still not a good idea to pull it unless needed. This is from firefighternow.com. So there you go, kids. There's nothing to worry about. Yeah, do it. Yeah, and you know what the fact that the guy did it to impress their friends best reason to do anything yeah do it to impress

and there and also that's what they also tell us in about it oh my god it's well it's available on all the things it's you know classic stand-up album um you're doing all the classics it's a classic stand-up album it's all my classic jokes that i've been telling over and over again for the last 10 years uh they're polished up and ready to go ready to go and i i truly think that they're the best uh way i've ever told them it was on the album thankfully so that's good yeah and um boy i hate to be a jerk about this do you want to say the name of the album yeah say the name of the right sorry it's uh it's called goodbye horses what and can i ask what that's in reference to or is it just it's one of the bits and that it's not the

punchline to any bit is it um no it's not the punchline It is a reference to a bit, the big album closer. Oh, nice. And also, I love to dance naked and pull my junk between the back of my legs, like Buffalo Bill style. Does he say goodbye horses? In Silence of the Lambs, Buffalo Bill dances with his uh stuff uh yeah yeah it tucked away to that song oh what's the song uh goodbye horses by q lazarus by q lazarus oh i did not know the song wow okay it's a good song so you know if you're searching for it on Spotify or whatever, and you accidentally come across it, whether my album or the Q Lazarus song, you're going to, you're going to enjoy it. You're going to do some tucking.

I knew the scene very well. I've seen, I've actually only seen this scene on, like, not on cable. Mr. Skin. Just on regular TV. And so he looks in the mirror and he says, I'd hump me. I'd hump me i'd hump me please um now you're saying that's the closer do you have a big closer because i feel like that's not a thing anymore but it was very much a thing when i started comedy to have like a big closer but like yeah you have one does have you seen anybody do one recently i mean i guess when i say big closer it

i mean what i mean is that was the last joke that i told and it usually either it goes uh very well or very badly uh i don't know and if it goes badly to you then scram will be like just kidding i have one more closer i just if it goes badly, then I leave. You start bringing something together with popsicle sticks. Hold on one second. That's what I used to do. I would be like, I'd do a set, and then if the last joke didn't get a big enough laugh, or if the audience didn't like me the entire set, I'd be like, I know what this audience

wants. And I'd tell some stupid joke I wrote about Tim Hortons, and it always did well, and I hated it. Nice. That's a professional. professional no i should have a backup when it doesn't go well i just do a bad job i guess and leave yeah leave them wanting life but like when i started all the old guys had like either it was like a sound cue or would be like a thing that they kept as a surprise the the whole act, or it was, you know, it was like something like that.

We used to be crucial. And there's a guy out here that does impressions of motorcycle engines. He comes up on every episode. That guy rocks. That's it. You're interviewing him, saving him for episode number 800. Yeah.

Yeah. We finally bring in the motorcycle man yeah of course because 800 is a significant motorcycle number because we all know the suzuki 800 series exactly oh man but that bit like everybody's salivating for it the whole act like get to the impression of the motorcycle um the i i remember there were always like older comedians who who would try to give advice that were like you know you'll find that your big closer might one day become your big opener yes i forgot the other way around i forget yeah i've heard to switch it up sometimes and i have and um i find if i open with this joke it's a lot more awkward than if I close with it.

People kind of know me by then. Oh, yeah. If this guy came out of the gates doing a Harley Davidson engine, what the fuck would he follow it up with? Exactly. Just some chat about Harley Davidsons. And I guess I was most of his act, actually. It was about motorcycles. It all leads up to that sounds

like i'm making this guy up but he really legitimately is a guy yeah and his name was harley davidson harley davidson he changed his name to harley and he was good friends with the marlboro man i believe yes that's true they spent wasn't that a movie with mickey rourke and john johnson yeah oh boy that's uh taking up serious real estate in my brain Isn't that a movie with Mickey Rourke? And Don Johnson? Oh boy, that's taken up serious real estate in my brain. That movie existed. Cool box cover though. Really cool.

Was it just the two of them? Yeah, one of them was leaning on the motorcycle. And the other one I think was probably smoking. I heard now the box for that movie, they have to put a surgeon's general warning. It covers the most of the poster. Yeah. You can only see the bottom third. Yeah.

Most of it is like, and it had to show, it shows their lungs looking terrible. An x-ray of a black lung. I, uh, I saw a pack of cigarettes cause you don't see them in the store anymore. They're behind a blind thing. And so I saw a pack of cigarettes. Because you don't see them in the store anymore. They're behind a blind thing.

And so I saw a pack. Somebody was smoking. And the pack is all, like, literally, it's all just bad cancer news. There's a tiny little thing at the bottom that says what type of cigarette it is. But it's just you're handing somebody, like, bio waste or something like that. It's all just warning, warning, warning, warning. yeah um it's just about time people know that smoking's bad right my neighbor still smokes and litter porch on fire last week that's right uh and i still it sucks i now now she's like i smell cigarettes all the time now. Yeah, because she feels like, hey, I've already done the worst.

Yeah. Like, well, I'm a danger if I smoke outside. I got to smoke inside so I don't burn the flesh down. Yeah. Everardo, last time you were here, you told us one of my favorite stories ever on the show. Not about your high school bully, but sort of about your high school bully a professional athlete who bullied you um and i was trying to remember it uh with graham and he i was like i remember it was todd bertuzzi and he made fun of you for drinking a weird drink

yeah and i was like i couldn't remember what it was and graham was like it was cream soda it was cream soda and uh was cream soda. And is there anything new, anything new happening in the Bertuzzi world? No, haven't heard, haven't kept up with him too much. I think we're on good terms now. But he left it in a good place. Yeah. He said, let's let bygones be bygones.

Did he call you ever our dildo is that right he did yes yeah and uh yeah and uh yeah i haven't heard from him in a while but uh but you know it's you still he still sends you a happy birthday and uh stuff like that sends you a can of cream soda yeah he'll send me like a birthday card that says give me all your lunch money stuff like that and then he's just just kidding just kidding we're cool um but yeah no haven't been getting bullied uh too much lately so that's good that's good that's great um yeah i think being bullied as an adult is a lot more litigious than being bullied as a kid. I got bullied last week. I told you about the woman who called me a loser.

But you were standing up for what was right. They weren't just picking on you. You were calling them out in the right way that you should have. That's true. I was a real traffic hero. Yeah. Wow. I got road raged. Yeah. I got road raged. Yeah.

He got road raged and he was telling somebody to not park where they definitely were not supposed to be parked. Like, look, we don't want you to relitigate it. This week's all about Everardo. We want to celebrate all the things Everardo, Everardo.

What, what do you do in Toronto? Do you do stand up full time? Are you an actor? Are you a writer? Do you, stand-up full-time? Are you an actor? Are you a writer? Do you have some other profession? No, I do stand-up and just a normal job during the day. Just a normal job?

Just a normal office job. I work at a cosmetics distribution company. Oh, cool. Do you ever get high on your own supply? Oh, yeah. distribution company oh cool do you ever get high on your own supply oh yeah i'm always trying new moisturizers and creams and lotions do you moisturize everardo i've started to now that uh now that i'm in my mid-30s i realized uh maybe i should start and i get all this i work around it all the time so i'm like you should try this yeah you didn't you

just reach over to the supply and then just grab whatever moisturizer yeah what um describe your skin is it uh dry is it oily uh is it how's your t-zone yeah my t-zone's all right i'd say my skin's pretty good actually uh you know no major blemishes can get a bit dry in the winter jagged scars anywhere yeah no i did well i have a scar on my chin but that's that's cool that's actually cool that is cool yeah what's that from that was i was a kid in uh and i used to have to go to this thing called afterschool program because my parents worked too late or whatever. They couldn't pick me up from school. So I'd go to this like a church basement with some other kids and hang out

until my parents could come. Yeah. And they had these like little scooters that you were, you like rode on them, like, and they kind of wiggled them around. And anyway, I was riding on them the dangerous way

the fast way going way too fast and the guy who's like one of the people running this after-school program who now i realize is probably like a high school kid himself or like a college kid you know like he's like hey like don't ride it that way and i told him to like i like dismissed him and kept doing it and then he put his foot in front of it and i went i ran over his foot and i went flying over it and landed right on my chin on the ground and like i just remember seeing like blood everywhere and he was so scared. And I was like, Oh my God.

Can you imagine if you were like a teen that was, you know, like you're, you're in charge of all these kids. I'm trying to get this guy to slow down. And I accidentally injured his face. Yeah. Now I think of it.

I was like, I was in the wrong. I was being an annoying little shit kid. And he was, I mean, he probably shouldn't have done that, but he realized immediately that it was a bad and I was making it so much worse. I'm like,

Oh my God, my mom's going to be so mad when she comes. Yeah. If she ever gets out of work. She's going to be so mad at you, Greg. And he's like, I know.

I know. Just be cool. Did you get stitches? I did get stitches. Yeah. Oh, oh is it and did you snitch on well i mean i guess kind of they're like what happened so the adage is true i was like yeah well this fucking guy tripped me for no reason and he's like well you were going fast i was riding it around the normal way i was riding riding it. Some would say the fun way. Yeah.

Did you go directly to the hospital? Um, well, I did have to wait for my parents to pick me up a few more hours. Oh, the hospital. Well, your parents weren't like,

let's go home and eat dinner. And then if it's still bleeding, they're like, we'll be on our way. Also, we're going to be late. So, and,

uh, so Greg, try not to kill him. i that was a very dangerous question i asked i shouldn't ask people about scars on their faces because they might tell me about some terrible trauma well good thing it was fun yeah good thing i was just yeah that's the thing like when you i remember my cousin uh we were chasing each other around the table and she fell and like pushed a tooth kind of into her head yeah and uh well that was 100 our fault it's not nobody else was uh culpable for it it was us ignoring directions don't put a tooth through your head yeah my parents is

explicitly said hey keep the teeth in the mouth um i i think i probably told this before but i remember being so excited one night my parents were gonna go out and i boy i don't know if i was old enough to be home alone but but I was going to be home alone. Nice. And my parents had gotten me McDonald's and I had a Big Mac and fries and I ran into the TV room with my food and I slipped and I hit my face on the armrest of the couch. Yeah. And my teeth went through my lip.

I still have a scar of where two teeth went through oh my god uh and uh i walked back i had been gone for five seconds and i walked back towards my parents and they thought i was like doing a joke with ketchup wait they haven't even left yet yeah yeah yeah no it was like like here's your food we're gonna leave in a few minutes okay like are you sure you're okay to stay alone you're like i'm good yeah yeah fine and then we went our neighbor was a doctor and so we went over there and they were like you don't need stitches oh that's good nice that's i one time i hurt my finger and i was told i didn't need stitches and then the doctor came in and said,

Whoa, you glad you came in for some stitches. This is not going to take long, but I wasn't going to heal. Right. So like, yeah, that person,

then I came in and said, I didn't need it, but I knew, I knew they just didn't want to do paperwork. Yeah. Do you remember that? I think it was a Canadian like mall store called stitches. Yeah. And, yes and the commercial went

as soon as it's hot we got Stitches is Stitches was it a sports place or are you thinking of Skechers I feel like you might be thinking of Skechers but in my mind Stitches was a place

they had like jeans yeah there was also below the belt yeah i feel like this was like below the belt somewhere between below the bells and randy river yeah yeah and i got below the belt mix uh i got it confused with off the wall or off the hook i forget below the belt was the the go-to place to buy jeans for right the new school year that's where you get your jeans up below the belt i see um they were for kids i think i still bought them when i was an adult and somebody made fun of me and then and i went bought adult jeans i guess yeah you went to above the belt that's their adult store everardo do you remember your first pair of jeans

um well that's a good i don't remember my first pair of jeans but i do remember uh in seventh grade coming getting some fresh jeans for the first day of school and they they weren't baggy jeans which were cool at the time they were just regular old jeans like not skinny jeans but not baggy straight jeans yeah and uh i remember being uh bullied hard that first day of school because of my why jeans your jeans weren't baggy enough they weren't baggy enough and i was like i know but i don't know your your jeans could fit underneath my jeans yeah i'm wearing jeans like you as underwear yeah it was it was very strange i was like i think they're nice uh but yeah yeah you guys they're nice i remember the the jeans i would always get in high school

were levi's euro fit wow yeah that's cool i don't know what it meant there was a discount brand of levi's that instead of having the red tag had a yellow tag and that was basically like a fucking target on your back yeah why would they do that to you guys i don't know come on yeah you sick and seeing that little that little yellow ribbon boy oh boy you're like you know supporting the troops with your butt yeah and then you try to cut it off but then it's just like fabric of yellow hanging off and somehow becomes more noticeable that it's got it's been cut it's like the uh ink that squirts out when you pull the fire alarm. There's some ink that squirts out when you try to cut your yellow tab.

There's the whole jeans yellow. Yeah, and then I remember, if I'm remembering correctly, somebody tried to draw a red marker on theirs, and then it turned kind of black, and then nobody bought what was going on there. You can't just put... That stresses me out and makes me sad to think about that kind of doing that you know oh yeah they and like when i was when i first went to junior high i didn't know what jeans to buy so i bought something i feel like they may have been like acid wash or something in that

you know area of pants and uh really getting, it was a split vote. I feel like some people really liked them, and then some people were like, what are you wearing? So I think the vote was enough that I kept wearing them. But controversial, controversial pants. Yeah, I liked jeans to have as many things about them as possible. I wanted them to be acid washed. I wanted them to have holes in them

i wanted them to have an elasticized uh ankle i wanted them to have pleats in the at the waist you're inventing a type of gene never seen before yeah you always have a cute slogan written on the back side yeah like get up in here backside yeah like get up in here um yeah the uh when like when did you first like buy a thing at like a store that was for adult clothing like where you actually like went and bought something that was no longer in the in the kid camp but you were like i'm getting a real belt or something like that. Yeah, I think I wore a lot of kid belts for a while. Yeah, I think I did too.

I don't think those exist. Yeah, I can't really remember. Probably sometime in high school, I guess. Yeah, because like, but like, I can remember shopping at the Bay or Eaton's, but those were also kids stores. They were kids stores. They were department stores. Like I was thinking like if you bought something from like Eddie Bauer or something of that. Oh,

right. Yeah. I do kind of remember. I probably was like middle school, I guess when I stopped going to kid gap and went to gap. Yes. And it was still, I remember still kind of looking into the kid's gap and be like,

I can't do, I don't, I'm sorry. I got to be more serious now. I have to wear an Oxford shirt now or whatever. I also remember being a kid and thinking that by the time I was like in my thirties, I'd be like,

I'll be wearing a blazer a suit you know and yeah i still dress pretty much exactly how i do as a child yeah even jobs that needed suits don't need suits anymore yeah the only if you see somebody wearing a suit or or at least like a shirt and tie they're they're part of like the catering or the valet or yeah you know i guess there's like high power executives that probably wear yeah but there's also like the guy the person who checks you into the hotel and uh yes yeah yeah i see a lot of real estate agents wearing very tight suits yeah you gotta sell the sizzle you know yeah man yeah i what but i do kind of wish that more uh professional places would still wear suits you know like i went into the bank and the guy's wearing jeans and i don't know why that bothered from baby gap

he was wearing baby gap jeans i'm like you can't wear jeans like you're the bank you know like i'm wearing jeans i don't i can't i can't listen to you and we're like you're supposed to be it's this is where all the money is you should at least be buying nice jeans not those ones with the yellow tabs that you've clearly tried to color it's just like like i get it you know casual friday whatever but also like you chose to be a banker you can't wear you can't be jeans at work guy you chose to be the most not jeans at work guy profession there is maybe i'm old yeah i yeah yeah i think you are yeah you're pretty uh behind the times. You know what my banker wears?

Yeezys. Cool. It is also, I don't know why it stresses me out when a banker is much younger than me and they're like trying to give me advice. They're like, aren't you saving for retirement? I'm like, I don't want to talk about this right now. Just give me $80 in cash so i can buy weed you know yeah i i remember going to uh the bank to like do one transaction and i was talking to the banker and they brought up kind of like two numbers and i'd be like how much would that roughly

be and they like put it in a calculator and i was like but wait what the fuck i can do that why don't you have you i had i had a big problem with my bank and i called the 1-800 number and they said you know what you should probably go in and talk to someone at the at your branch and i went into the branch and the person just called the 800 number oh my god God. Yeah. It's crazy. She was like, yeah, but I work here,

so I don't have to hold. But she ends up talking to the same person. Yeah. It's crazy to realize that we all kind of don't really know what we're doing. Even like the bank, you know? Oh yeah. We're all just people kind of faking it a little bit just

soon i'll have a doctor that comes in and will be younger than me significantly and then i'll be like okay i've really crossed the uh the divide here no longer old doctor yeah you know some yeah some new doctor that has like that goes wakeboarding or something like that he calls you bro new doctor that has like it goes wakeboarding or something like that he calls you bro dr bro like bro you are not well let me just call this 1-800 number yeah bro you are mid yeah your liver is so mid right now. Yeah. Your health is not lit. Oh, man. Ever, are you born and raised in Ontario?

You were transplant to Toronto. What's your background? I cannot remember. Born and raised in Waterloo, Ontario. Kitchener-Waterloo. Yeah, yeah. Moved to Halifax for a bit started doing comedy there oh cool um and then moved to toronto maybe like eight ten eight or ten years ago i forget but not nine not nine definitely not nine years ago yeah the um whenever 2015 was

the um whatever 2015 was eight or ten yeah let me just pull out my calculator yeah get my banker to check it out 2025 now right yeah yeah you work ahead yeah work for the year you want it to be yeah just for the year you want it to be that's why i wear a silver jumpsuit man i'm waiting for those silver jumpsuits and they'll come and go and then that's it we will have had the future look oh boy I hope they don't come and go while I'm in cryo sleep you come out of cryo sleep and they just make fun

of your jeans what these were cool when I went into cryo sleep like we're not doing silver jumpsuits you wake up everyone just in like ragged tatters it's like oh no that's the future oh no are we post-apocalyptic we're not in jetson's future we're in mad max future you idiot right put me back in cryo sleep if you did something like that,

either going like, if you went forward in time and they were like, you were like, uh, like a dinosaur, like a fossil and they were studying you and you could still talk. What would you tell them? Like,

what would be the number one thing you'd be like, Oh, you guys, we fucked up global warming or like, you know, uh, there used to be a thing called the microwave or, you know, would i'd be like ow my back hurts how long have i been in this uncomfortable cryo chamber yeah i think i would just be like man we had so much good food where

i came from like so many options like what do we have now and then they're like we eat paste or whatever does starbucks have like a seasonal frappuccino no you put the no in frappuccino but yeah i uh i think you're right food the food that we had was so good but how maybe it gets better like you know how people ate stuff without salt forever and then they got salt and they were like what the hell have we been eating this garbage forever salt's the best maybe they invent something even better than salt yeah i feel like if it was the future i'd probably like i'd be like i'd love a burger and they're like we don't eat meat you freaks like you got your bastard like you and then it

yeah dawned on me that we're it's probably bad what we're doing but you know oh sure whatever yeah yeah yeah it's bad yeah i'm not gonna stop graham no that's true yeah you're a vegetarian do you remember the last piece of meat you ate? Like, where I knew for sure, like, because sometimes... Was there a moment where you were like, this is my last piece of meat? Yes. Yeah. Was it bad? Is that what made you do it?

Yeah. It wasn't, like, bad in terms of, like, food poisoning, but it was a bad thing. Right. I was like, why the fuck am I still doing this? Why? What was it? Popcorn chicken from KFC. Oh.

Oh. It was, like, I don't know if it's the end of the thing or mid thing, but I just remember it just didn't taste very good. And then I was like, why am I doing this? Yeah, I have a feeling KFC is the last like meat a lot of people eat. But mostly from death. There's been a couple of instances. There's been a couple of instances where I've had meat, specifically pork. And I'm like, this tastes more like, it tastes so much like pig than pork, if that makes sense.

And I'm like, if this happens to me like 12 or 13 more times, I will go vegetarian. 12 or 13 more times? I want to give myself some leeway. This chicken tastes less like chicken and more like chicken, if you know what I mean. Yeah. This tastes more like a pig. Another strike leading me maybe towards,

maybe thinking about being a vegetarian is I bought a pork roast pork roast a porchetta and it had pubes on it well i don't know if it was pubes but it had some hairs on it because it has the skin still on it yeah it still had like the skin like for like oh my god and it was like organic like from like a like it wasn't like factory pork or whatever it was supposed to be like you know what those organic pigs they don't shave yeah like we don't shave our pigs like this is natural and i guess it is natural or whatever yeah but it grossed me out lots of things are natural and i didn't cook it i threw it out that's worse yeah that's much worse yeah i was like this is gross yeah i don't want to be reminded that it's a living thing i'm not i'm just gonna waste

it and not yeah um and are you sure it wasn't it but that seemed gross to me i mean are you sure it wasn't just the butcher like who's like well i put a little bit of my pubes into every roast who knows um i don't know it made me sick did you dave ever have a piece of meat where you're like maybe i won't eat meat anymore where it's just so so foul or just so sure yeah it's but uh it definitely i definitely have and i try to not eat meat until you know dinner time sure that makes sense but uh that's smart but uh yeah no i'm still on on board still on board. But I'm going through eggs like crazy. Oh, yeah?

Every morning I have three eggs now. Really? Yeah. Wow. Fried? Scrambled? I poach them. I poach them.

Oh, three poached. Yeah. I always have poached eggs with avocado and a roasted red pepper. And then I would try to figure out other things to put in them. You know, I make two kinds of onions. Yeah. I pickle and I caramelize. And then I was trying to think of another thing to add to this.

Because I think I got the idea after I made chili. I was like, this is great. These would be great on top of chili. But I can't always have chili. No? No, I can't have a perpetual chili pot. And so I've, now i just add nachos nice nice i don't know if that's a healthy breakfast anymore but yeah but it's well you have those two onions that's true yeah and uh nothing had hair on it so that's a point no i do get hairy nachos everard do you have a a thing that you eat every day for breakfast are you a breakfast person

no i'm not normally um like on weekends i'll have breakfast um i'll just kind of cook whatever or go out for whatever but during the week i never really eat breakfast. I'll just kind of cook whatever or go out for whatever. But during the week, I never really eat breakfast. I'll usually just drink coffee until like 2.30 and then lunch. Half Taco Bell for lunch. As your stomach's nice and primed from drinking coffee all day. I'm like, why do I feel bad all the time? Why am I in the toilet again?

What the hell's going on? Why does doctor say i was mad yeah but um i recently have been on doctor's orders to eat more to eat breakfast every day oh really um yeah just well i've started taking this medication and they're like you should eat it eat breakfast you know and started taking this medication, and they're like, you should eat it, eat breakfast, you know? And it's just like, what are they saying? Is the medication bacon? Yeah. Take this at breakfast. Yeah.

So now it's been like a few weeks where I'm trying to eat breakfast, so I'll try to, I feel like first week was. Is it Cap'n crunch oops all xanax first week i was like yeah i'll get bagels every day or like something like that like make a breakfast sandwich and then second week immediately i'm like i don't know i'll just like eat a spoon of nutella i guess yeah i always, that's good. I always forget about eating. They're like, oh shit,

I have to take this pill. You have to actually do. I don't know. I'll eat something. I'm the same. Yeah. My thing is, I now eat such a big breakfast that when lunchtime rolls around,

I'm like, I'm fine. I don't need lunch. And then three o'clock rolls around and I'm like, mini wheats. Yes. Okay.

Nice. Yeah. I find the days that I do eat breakfast i get hungrier like earlier i don't know it's weird yeah and the body is a haunted house i we always leave it too long before i have to make something and then inevitably have to go out and get something i wait until i'm like famished and then then i then I'm like, Oh, I guess I should make some. No, no time. No time.

I'll go down to the coffee shop and get something. yeah. I like that. You said doctor's orders. You don't hear people saying that anymore. That seems like a very like, you know, handicap kind of a comic era.

Like, well, the doctor's orders, no more cigarettes. The doctor said I have to have a good breakfast to start my day. Doctor's orders. Yeah, something like Michael Douglas would say to Catherine Zeta-Jones when he's not in the mood. Doctor said I could have.

It was funny because that is actually true. I was reading an article that brought that up, and that is actually true like i i was reading uh an article that brought that up and that is actually true but that penilingus leads to throat cancer yeah because there's a certain either kind of like bacteria that can have or something like that it's not obviously it's not everybody but if you're predisposed to that kind of cancer, it can give you that type of cancer. It can activate it, which is why I never do that. I never have. You and DJ Khaled.

Yeah, DJ Khaled is just concerned for his health. Yeah, he's such a healthy guy. Yeah, health note. yeah health night that story does seem like a fake story like the richard gear gerbil story yeah you know like this kind of like or like the marilyn manson removing his ribs to suck his dick story like that actually might be true i don't know but i would love to see both dj collin and michael douglas on the cover of Men's Health magazine. Just being like, we're rapping about the real

truth about. Yeah, the hidden danger of. Yeah. Damn. I don't know, man. I was going to say, who's your favorite man on the picture of Men's Health, but I was like, I can't even name one. Maybe Kevin Hart?

I don't know. Yeah, whoever the current Marvel guy is. Yeah, that's true. Some sort of Marvel guy. I'm just going to go. I'm just going to look for some covers of it. Are they even famous people? I think so, aren't they?

Sometimes it's just good looking. It's just like muscle guys. Just like good looking dudes, yeah. And then Sometimes it's just good looking. It's just like muscle guys. Yeah. And then sometimes it's John Boyega. Ah, John Boyega. I think one time, was there a men's health issue with Obama showing his abs?

A shirtless Obama, possibly? Or did I make that up? When you said abs I thought you were saying that he was showing his ass Now he's on the cover When I google He's on the cover of it twice Once in a suit and once just in a shirt and tie

Yeah he was probably the fittest president That I can conjure Oh sure Jeremy Renner's on it in a shirt Nice Rehabbing from a weird snowplow accident Conjure. Oh, sure. Jeremy Renner's on it in a shirt. Nice, Jeremy Renner. How's that? Nice. Rehabbing from a weird snowplow accident, and apparently it's going pretty well.

Yeah. You're in our thoughts. Hawkeye. Damn. Yeah, it's bizarre. It's one of those bizarre could never call them, you know? On the bingo card of celebrity. Was he rescuing someone? I think he was being rescued or something.

Oh, I thought there was like a kid in the way. Oh, then maybe. No, I think he was like plowing his snow. I think he was plowing your mom. Yeah, that's true. And then he got injured. And then he got smushed. Yeah.

That was crazy, the headline. Jeremy Renner smushed by a snow machine. It's somebody's first day on the blog. You're like, uh... What did you say? Not smashed, but... The blog. Not like the New York Times.

Yeah, like they're having a post with a blog. not like the New York Times yeah like their happening post was a blog you know lots of blogs made the leap to current events kind of sources not what would Tyler Durden do that never made the leap

or somebody said Paris Hill and the other dams like oh I haven't heard that name easily for a decade but he was kind of that right he was kind of a caddy uh right it was a blogger yeah oh he was very caddy he would draw like piss on people's pictures with like ms paint and like cocaine up people's noses yeah that was such a crazy uh era of like celebrity like people just be like these celebrities are dirt bags or whatever oh it's gonna get so much worse picking on people yeah with like deep fakes it's gonna be a whole other like it's gonna be light years when it comes

to making fun of people or making celebrities do things that they don't want to do. So, lock in. Because I feel like we're headed that way real soon. And we'll be able to see Michael Douglas do all sorts of stuff that he wouldn't do in real life. That he wouldn't do in real life? There's nothing he wouldn't do in real life. Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Well, not a heck of a lot. I've been watching some shows.

I feel like my life goes in, I go through times when I'm not watching anything. I can't think of, there's nothing I want to watch. And then there's times when I'm like watching so many things that I forget that I'm still watching something. Right. Like a series. It's not yeah yeah yeah movie or something like i'm uh i started watching i finally like everyone told me i should watch andor okay i don't know what that's a star wars it's star wars it's the it's like

dave it's the star wars thing that's the least star warsy you'll love it yeah that is the weird sell on it it's like it's nothing like star wars and it's good not like the other ones do you watch it i've haven't watched it yet but i've heard to i want to get into it too actually i yeah i've started watching it and then i forgot and so i've been watching i was watching i'mion, it's over. Yeah. At the time that this is released. And, oh, Abby and I. What a finale. What a finale, exactly. Can you believe they did that?

Yeah. She did what? I, Abby and I watch, like, the opposite TV shows. We don't overlap on anything. Like, everything I watch, she doesn't watch. Except Andor. she's watched all those star wars things but then i'll watch like uh succession and um what's the other like suits yeah i watch suits i watch franklin and bash uh but she uh and every time she walks in

while i'm watching succession i pretend that i'm like the biggest Succession fan in the world. You're so engaged. Oh, bravo. Another triumph. The deal went through. Yeah. Whatever. I love Succession, but I truly don't know anything that they're talking about.

Yeah, exactly. session but i truly don't know anything that they're talking about exactly it's like it's like all these you know usually when you're watching a show and the finale's coming and you know what's happening yeah and you care about you like you care about the people but then there's this big play that's gonna happen at the end of the show and yeah if you say so At one point on the show, they were offering a competitor, like an amount of money to buy them. And then they said like $7 billion. And I was like, is that,

is that big for a TV network? Or is that, I have no idea what it's 7 billion. Is that like right on the money or. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. I do feel like when they're talking about all the business stuff like the same

thing that happens like when i go to the bank or whatever and they're trying to tell me about a mutual fund and like i like my eyes glaze over i'm like yeah just go back to like making fun of each other's penises or whatever yeah um but the uh the other show i've been watching is called love and death okay that covers the other half money is one and then love and death is a whole other show yeah and it's uh it's a like a true crime i guess it's a true story of a crime that happened in the 70s and it stars uh elizabeth olsen the sister of the olsen twins oh do you know her right yeah she's in um yeah scarlet witch yeah yeah um so she it's this like 70s murder sort of thing that happened

she's have and everyone has a huge bush and they get absolutely her scene opens fog hats playing yeah well no she's it's there's a lot of like her alone in the car singing 70 songs to herself that's nice um yeah they were gonna call it love and bush but they went with love and death uh and uh it's the first two episodes she wants to have an affair she's like a housewife and she wants to have an affair with this guy uh jesse plemons and he uh she's like i maybe this is a true thing that really happened but in the show she's like i want to have an affair i'm gonna have an affair with that guy she's like talking I want to have an affair. I'm going to have an affair with that guy. She's like talking about it to all of her friends. She talks about it to him.

We should have an affair. Like it's so, it's not like a secretive thing at all. It's kind of the opposite of like seeing a person being like, I'm going to marry that person. I'm going to ruin our marriages. Is it good? That's cool. It's, uh, no, apparently they made the same show last year with jessica beal like the exact same based on the same thing really uh and she um yeah i but everyone's making

fun of that because no one watched that one and everyone's watching this HBO one. That's funny. Damn. I won't make fun of Jessica Biel. I don't, I stay in all the hotties of my generation. Yeah. If you were in FHM between 1998 and 2003, you're always on my mind. One

thing I was thinking about this week that I think is going to be a new favorite movie of yours, Dave, is this one about the, uh, the air sneaker. I saw it.

Oh, did you like it? It's fine. I already saw it. There was a 30 for 30 documentary about that guy. I just thought because there was a lot of sitting around and talking in the movie. Yeah.

It's a little cute. It's a little, and it's also, they go, have you seen it ever? I haven't, but i'm i know what movie it is yeah in the trailers it's on prime if you want uh if you want my password um but they it's very like they never talked to michael jordan they talked to his parents

oh right and the whole thing it's like venom without spider-man yeah and but he's in it nice like there's bits where michael jordan is over there and he just won't talk to them he's like shy and it's very distracting right so i just thought it was one of those movies kind of like succession is a lot of people sitting around talking about yeah it's uh it's not gonna be it's gonna be a no for me to re-watch okay fair enough fair enough but i'm waiting for tar to get to start streaming somewhere um right because you love tar yeah love tar uh but anyway as uh in love and death i was watching it and elizabeth olsen is very good and it occurred to me that she's the sister of the olsen twins and they they seem to have like

the opposite skill sets because those olsen twins were child actors who then stopped being child actors and became weird like fashion billionaires yeah uh and we're not necessarily very good actors no they were cute they were cute for the purpose. But although they did make movies after, like when they were still kids. Yeah. Like detective movies or something like that. Yeah, Detective Von Twins. It Takes Two.

It Takes Two. It Takes Two. New York Minute. And then Elizabeth Olsen was, I don't think she was a child actress. And she's now just like a good adult actress. Yeah. Who doesn't seem like a weirdo.

Yeah, that's true. She doesn't seem like a weirdo. Although, how can we know? We don't know what skeletons are in the, in her closet, you know? Maybe she's the one that ran over Jeremy Renner with his plow. Who knows? It's still unsolved. The real plow is out there somewhere um but yeah i just uh i think it must be very weird for them to be like well we're both actors

all three of us are actors but we're not we don't have the same sort of skill set but it must have been like reassuring as her growing up and going into auditions like she didn't ever worry about money like well i don't know do your siblings take care of you do your sibling do you get your siblings money i i assume that if you got like although wasn't there a big thing that like mad Madonna didn't give her brother any money and he was out in the street or something like that? Am I making that up? Damn. Yeah. I feel like maybe I've heard something like that.

She's got so much money. Peel off a couple thousand. Let that guy inside your house. He's your brother. Yeah. Would being a sibling of a famous person be good or bad? I mean, I'm good at both, eh? Well, I don't know.

Trying to think. Justin Bieber has a sister, right? Hailey Bieber? Am I making that up? That's his wife. Well, she probably benefits from his money a little bit. Michael Douglas has a sister, katherine zeta jones um but like i don't know uh even if you are a famous actor and you're like less famous than

your sibling it kind of sucks i think yes that's true that would suck yeah to be eric roberts other baldwins kind of suck let's rank the baldwins yeah okay how many are there five four okay there's alec weirdly alec still might be on top yeah yeah yeah despite recent trials and tribulations uh just uh william yeah william was in backdraft and that movie with um was he in sliver no maybe uh baby is in sliver also i think wasn't he in usual suspects no that's steven oh that's steven baldwin okay yeah william was also in a movie with cindy crawford her acting debut and finale i remember that what was it called like oh fuck heat of something or you know some kind of it was a very steamy cover that man she uh cindy crawford she ignited a nation's passion and then some it was called fair game fair game okay uh there's um steven baldwin yeah that's hayley's dad and he's the

usual suspects maybe he might be in the first place now because he can't because of just because of his daughter celebrity i think he's a weird and he hasn't murdered anyone yeah that's true and then there's daniel who i only know him as like on Twitter. Every day he posts, I'm up when he wakes up. Yes. Or he did a few years ago. And I think he's very religious too. Well, I know that Stephen is.

Well, Daniel Baldwin, when I was working at a coffee shop, came into the coffee shop and smoked in the bathroom and everybody could smell it. Awesome. And we asked him to leave. But I was like shit he's a bald that rocks do you know what movie daniel baldwin was in oh give me a hint dying to know we've mentioned it today it takes two that's as good i guess as any harley davidson and the marvel nice nice wow yeah i don't know if we can rank them there i feel like billy just by being out of the spotlight is not my number one yeah that's a good call maybe he's the religious one i don't know somehow they're all tied for the bottom yeah

surprisingly daniel pulls in first i think you can be religious and not and still be on top but uh not the way some of these baldwins do it yeah boy oh boy also remember when alec baldwin like after he like a few days after he accidentally murdered that lady on set uh he was like i'm doing an instagram live next week and you're going to love my guest, Woody Allen. We're like, let's relax. Why are you doing this right now? He's like, yeah, two New York guys talking it out. And he looks so bad.

Like he's so puffy and tired and obviously stressed out. Two tastes that taste better together baldwin do this right now and we're gonna be talking to a guy everybody loves vlad the impaler it's like is there no one on his team that's like hey maybe don't do the woody interview maybe at least not this week yeah but he's like he's constantly doing the wrong thing i feel like whatever is the if that's true you know if the best thing to do when people are taking your photograph is to just run away or hide your face he's like nope i'm gonna beat them up i'm gonna grab their camera and smash them on the ground if the best thing to do if your daughter's being a

rude little pig is to not phone her up and leave a weird message he won't do that oh my god oh man you're mad because your daughter won't hang out with you for some reason why not leave her a 10 minute message calling her a pig god damn it that's so rude holy shit but we love 30 rock we love 30 Rock. We love 30 Rock. Yeah. He nails it. Yeah. Beetlejuice was great. I'm sure other films he was in.

And I can't wait for Rust. Can't wait for Rust. What are his best movies? Glengarry Glen Ross. Yeah. And he's also really good in The Departed. And he's basically plays as much screen time in The Departed as he in uh when gary glenn ross but his scenes are true yeah he's very he's very good at being a boston guy sweaty balls yeah we love sweaty balls that was good he loves his wife doing

kegels on the internet yes his fake spanish wife it's all awesome everything about him rocks so like i've heard this before she is not spanish but she speaks with a spanish accent i that uh yes that's what people say she's from boston apparently and i don't really know but i guess she um yeah has been pretending to be from spain and has a heavy accent like does the lisp and everything oh wow and it will be like in like interviews will be like oh what's the word like what's the word i'm looking for and um apparently it's because she used to spend summers in spain uh well but also it feels like maybe she uh when she met alec baldwin she pretended that she was spanish to like get him interested and then has had to do this ever since yeah and has kept up the bit forever is just so committed i think that's honestly true

i think that's really is what happens and she's. She was catfishing him, or as she says, gato pescado. Well, that's going on with me. Really interested in celebrity siblings. What's going on with you, Graham? Oh, much less. Much less indeed. This week, sadlyina turner passed away rock legend tina turner and uh you know when you see somebody's name on twitter that you're like oh that's not something that people tweet about like not a lot of people are tweeting about tina

turner but then when they do you you're like something, something bad has happened here. Or they've been entered in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. I feel like those are the two possibilities when you see. Yeah, sure. Or there's just like some weird, like they were front row at a basketball. Jack Nicholson attended a basketball game for the first time in years, apparently. Yeah. And he just like like everybody says he

looks so awful but he just looks like every other old man i've ever seen like he doesn't look especially right yeah it looks like an old guy 80 year old guy is looking great you know and if they are what are they doing do you know what i mean like are they drinking human blood well my dad's 80 and he looks great we we play tennis every uh every week and uh afterwards oh yeah we do have a big cup of blood wasn't there a guy that was in the press that he like he he wants to live forever and he's he takes blood from his son like his son is like his personal blood bank or something like well there are like, who's the guy, the weird Republican guy who spoke at the,

at Trump's Republican convention, who's like a billionaire and he does all that like bio. Oh yeah. Hacking and like, oh, yes. Good evening, everyone. Yeah. Good evening, everyone.

Yeah, so I He was the guy. I can't remember his name. But I feel like he was one of the he and Elon Musk were the people who did PayPal. I think his name might be Peter PayPal. That's what Trump calls him peter theol peter teal um but this week uh there was a trending uh thing on twitter for kim mitchell kim mitchell

canadian rock legend kim mitchell and i got so upset before i clicked on the thing and it was just it was trending for who knows patio lanterns is probably season is probably coming up yeah but i was i was surprised how upset i was when i thought that he had passed away i didn't think that i had that big of a connection to kim mitchell but it turns out i i care for him very much i didn't know oh sure i thought maybe he was on life support because he might as well go for a coma that will be the headline when he dies even if he dies by accident well if he if he's in a coma first yeah yeah well you gotta brace yourself for that day when i guess i do i uh i think i saw him perform when I was a kid And he had

Hits that were great for kids Go for a soda, patio lanterns Wild wild party Yeah He had all of those I remember In the early days of Twitter When people were first figuring out

Trending Gordon Lightfoot was trending and then it and there was a rumor that he had died and it was it was before twitter was such a big thing that you could like uh it took a few days before it came out that no he's alive yeah right yeah and then uh he died 15 years later uh it's it must be very strange to have that effect where it's like people assume you're dead. That's going to be a weird feeling the day that you're like, people just assumed you were dead. We didn't think about you much and then we just assumed you weren't around anymore. Yeah.

It's weird when people are like, you find out they're dead. And you're like, I thought you died years ago. ago what the hell didn't i go to your funeral what um boy this is uh i don't want to ask no go ahead this is too ghoulish like what's what was your most like shocking celebrity death uh probably the one that i was like gobsmacked by was michael jackson when that happened it was just like such a bizarre thing yeah that one did feel weird for some reason i don't know why i'm not even a huge michael jackson fan necessarily like i mean no more than anyone else i guess but like did feel weird did feel weird. It was like, whoa. Yeah, it's weird.

It's weird when he died. And also, I think when Princess Diana died, but that was mostly because my friend and I didn't get to finish watching Leprechaun 2 because of that. Right. The one I was most sad about recently was like i was sad about louis louis anderson oh yeah like i don't know i was like oh no louis but i don't know yeah it wasn't necessarily shocking i don't know it was that was the one i was most sad about recently i guess but yeah shocking i don't know yeah i like i don't know what do you think dave what's one of the oh when you were talking about like oh i thought you were already dead it's i remember when shirley

temple died a few years ago and she was an old lady and it was like oh yeah i guess so i think of you as a tiny child yeah i've never seen a movie of you uh are dancing with a lollipop yeah yeah um and i like that everybody's common thought is that when you go to heaven you be you're the the version that you were on earth uh when you were at your peak so she would go to heaven and then be a little girl again oh that's good to know that's good that's good to know about heaven yeah what if she hated being a little girl hey man i don't make the rules up here okay so it should actually hell and she should have done something for herself made a name for herself as an old lady betty white style yeah yeah exactly um didn't she Didn't she become like a UN convoy of somebody?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think she was like a UN ambassador to the Lollipop Guild. It's such a weird, like, it's not like people don't do it now, but it's such a weird thing picturing, like, people coming back from the war and all wanting to watch this little girl, uh, tap dance and such was thinking about like animal crackers and shit. Like,

Oh, you're going to love this movie. Yeah. This is the movie for our generation. Animal crackers with a butler. She was also, um, Shirley temple was also um shirley temple was also uh named by richard nixon as the uh ambassador to ghana wow okay beautiful that's awesome singing dancing act

don't forget your lollipop yeah yeah surely are you forgetting something they're like a big lolly i don't actually like these yeah this is more of a prop no doctor's orders yeah it's uh yeah i think that that is strange especially it'll be weird it'll be weird whenever uh whenever well they're they're gonna live longer than me i was gonna say the olsen twins but they're gonna outlive me for sure they're they're gonna hear it and say they thought i was dead yeah i think that's a good i like those odds i think it'll be close yeah i think it'll be close too but i think they've got it i think they've got what if one

olsen twin dies before you then i would say that would count i think okay they don't both need to die nope just uh just one is fine okay either one headline graham clark says only one olsen twin needs to die yeah print it huffington Post yeah so I had a weird connection to Kim Mitchell that I didn't know that I had oh that's good has that ever happened to you where you're like why don't I listen to this or why don't I watch this all the time like something from your youth

that you're like I think I'm over and then you see it again or hear it again and you're like no this is still good this still tracks yeah totally yeah i keep uh flip-flopping on whether i i like the red hot chili peppers or if i actually hate them a lot oh that's controversial yeah totally when i when i think about it i hate it but then like the other day other side came on the radio and i i turned it up you know yeah so it's like i don't know maybe they're actually good how deep were you were they like ever your favorite band um they were never like my favorite band but i i definitely you know

californication around that era like was into them before them before Anthony Kiedis had a mustache. That was the pre mustache era. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, they, they are annoying and kind of bad. Yeah.

But I do like their music. Like I've, I think I always have. I like their lyrics. Yeah. You love scatting and then throwing in a California town. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I don't, lyrics yeah you love scatting and then throwing in a california town yeah exactly i mean i don't i you know i can't i can take or leave the rest but give me those

give me that poetry yeah yeah and also i like flea jumping around he's pretty fun to watch remember when we wore a pair of pants made of stuffed animals that was cool yeah that's he jumped around too because he's like trying to be like a an actual flea oh maybe that's why he got the name because he's jumping around yeah it's weird we all know what sting got his name from wearing a stripy sweater but we don't no one knows the origin of flea that's true and fleas always wear socks over their penises which is so small we don't see it i have this thing now like as i'm older like i'm like uh there's certain bands that i'm like oh now is when i listen to the weaker thans or whatever you know what i mean like this is the era get it or like it that much as a child but like or a teenager but now it's like oh

now now i listen to wilco then now is when wilco makes sense to me or something yeah you know what i mean i do because i there's definitely music where i'm like i thought that was just from adults and it turns out i like it too um yeah now i only seem to listen to sad women interesting right phoebe bridgers get on board feist come on oh man it's key well you're depressed oh that might be it yeah you're depressed prom season's coming up oh it is true yet no one said of fun No one did a fun stunt and then put up a sign. Is that problem? Question mark. Yeah,

exactly. And then you've already rented the limo, uh, or gone in on a limo with eight other kids. Just drive me around in the limo, please. With the only six other kids now. Cause I couldn't get a day.

Can you put on Californication? We'll circle the block. Um, Everardo, kids now because i couldn't get a day you put on californication and we'll circle the block um everardo when you were in high school did you do the limo thing limo and tuxedo and the whole you know classic prom thing what did i do i uh we maybe did a limo i i think my prom what i went with my sister's friend for some reason me and okay so i don't know if it was the same west but in ontario there was grade 13 for a while yeah all right and then they they got rid of that like a few years before and then so there's a few years where like grade 13 was kind of optional where like some kids would take an extra year of school and for some reason what was the point of it it like was it did it transfer over to college

credit i think it was like i mean i did it so that i could uh get my average up a little bit because i wasn't a great student um and i was just like well all my friends are sticking around because we're all dumbasses so this will be fine fun and then so in my last year of high school i was in like all the same classes as my little sister oh okay we just hung out all like so anyway i went i went to prom with her friend and uh my friend went to prom with my sister. I think we did the limo thing. Sure. Did you ever swap and dance with your sister?

Yeah, a couple numbers. The only thing I remember about prom was the air conditioning was not working, and it was very hot, and no one wanted to eat their cheesecake. And I was like, well, I'll eat all the cheesecake for the table you're a real golden girl yeah i was like prom is awesome that's truly the only thing i remember i remember i got a migraine during my prom and i had to go lie on the couch and everyone thought i was like super drunk and I had never had a sip of alcohol in my life.

Shit. You should have said, yeah, it was so wasted, you guys. Yeah. Yeah. Prom. Hilarious. well i had i went into uh moors to have a suit made and everybody else in the store was a teenager that was oh sure getting fitted for their grad outfit and you know what they all look great they all uh all these the big one now is like a jacket that has like design all over it like

pattern like cool colors like red and pink and blue and all this kind of shit oh really yeah it's it's a golden era for uh for prom as far as i've read technicolor prom suit oh can you imagine oh my god or like you know i'm sure you can buy something that has like lights that go through everything. And then you could be like a light up suit. That'd be pretty cool. Did you go out to these kids and say, hey, if I could give you one piece of advice, wear sunscreen. And then a beat drops behind you. You'll never be as happy as you were when you were young.

Don't trust anyone over 30 and yeah move to la but leave before it makes you soft move to new york but leave before it makes you too hard wipe once and walk away that's what the whole song was really about he was like a one wiper it was like his high end look maneuver like always remember just one anything more than that it's just doing damage yeah yeah and that's a lesson we all learned from baz lerman yeah bad lerman exactly um anybody else would be pleased to just have that as their only resume piece is that song. And, you know, but that's just something Bad Lerman did in his spare time, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, he's... Yeah, why did he do that? Yeah, why did he do that? I listened to a podcast about that song, because it was attributed to Kurt Vonnegut. They thought, people thought it was a speech he thought they thought kurt vonnegut was the guy making the speech in the song oh okay oh but it was a um it was a woman who had who was like just a journalist and was uh wrote like

before her deadline she's like i need something uh you know what i'm just gonna write advice to a graduating class oh and she she wrote it and then it got emailed around this was like before this was when the internet was just people emailing yeah stuff to each other right and uh it got attributed to kurt vonnegut and then baz lurman saw it and somehow wanted to put it on like a fundraising album uh because he needed some music to contribute to this thing and so he um and then he asked Kurt Vonnegut to read it and Kurt Vonnegut was like no it's not me wow. So he just got some random guy? I think he just got a guy who kind of sounded like Kurt Vonnegut. That's, yeah. Holy shit, I didn't know that.

That's great. I just assumed it was, like you say, a grad speech that somebody just put a beat under and then Baz Luhrmann put his name on it. So it's interesting that it had a history behind it. Yeah. I want to say the podcast was switched on pop but i don't remember fair enough um should we how about a little bit of business yeah let's take care of business yeah that sound means it's time for a little bit of business r R&I. And it is International

Talk Like a Pirate Day here and we take it very seriously. But right now... Go get a checkup. We want to raise awareness. Go to get a checkup as a pirate. It's an awareness thing. So here's what's up. We have a Jumbotron message

this week. And this one this week and this one, oh, this one strikes a little close to home. Uh oh. This is a message from Margaret D for Graham C. That's me. That's you. I'm Graham C. This message is, Graham, you got married.

That's great. Sounded like you've got mail. I am so happy for you that i am buying a jumbotron next up is that netflix special yeah question mark is that i don't know if that's happening but you know what this this wedding kind of caught me off guard as well yeah well netflix told you they didn't want to do your special to an unmarried man. Yeah, exactly. Family network, they said, and just can't give a single guy. It's too weird.

The audience wouldn't get it. Yeah, they don't get jokes about being single. It's all like my wife, this, my wife, that. What was the name of the person who sent the message? Margaret D. Margaret D. Thank you so much. That's very, D. Margaret D. Thank you so much. That's very, very kind of you.

Thank you for that. If anyone out there would like a Jumbotron message like that, or not necessarily about us, any message at all, go to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. You gotta. Should we move on to some overheards? Yeah. Thanks again, Margaret D. Greatest Trek is the podcast for all your modern Star Trek needs. It's funny, informative, and now it's also timely.

That's because every Friday right after the release of a new episode of Strange New Worlds, Picard, Lower Decks, Discovery, or Prodigy, we bring you a review of that episode. There's some great new Star Trek coming up, and we're going to cover all of it. You'll like our show because we're both former video producers, so we bring a lot of insight into the production and filmmaking aspects to these episodes. And we also have a very refined sense of humor, so we make lots of delightful fart jokes along the way. So come see why Greatest Trek is one of the most popular television recap podcasts

on all of the internet. Subscribe to Greatest Trek at MaximumFun.org or in the podcast app you're using right now. Hey there, this is Drea Clark. This is Alonzo Duraldi. And this is Sparta. Iffy. Listen, I got 300 on the brain. We just watched the movie 300 in honor of our 300th episode of Maximum Film.

That's right. And to celebrate this major milestone, we brought back original co-hosts Ricky Carmona and April Wolf. But just for this one episode, right? Oh, iffy. You know we could never replace you. Some of the voices have changed over the years. Heck, the name of the show has changed too. But through it all, Maximum Film remains...

The movie podcast that isn't just a bunch of straight white guys. Deal with it. Find this and all 300 episodes of Maximum Film anytime on MaximumFun.org. Overheard. Overheard is a segment wherein we discuss things what we heard, and we like to share the laughter and the tears that comes along with that overheard, and we like to start with the guest. We would like you to go first, Everardo, if you will.

Okay, this was overheard when I was in Mexico recently, on a vacation with my family. I was in Mexico and I overheard a guy at the resort talking to his friend and he said, let's get some peanut coladas. They called it peanut coladas. And I don't know if he was joking or if he thought that that that's what it's called but i thought yeah it's funny it's like um uh somebody i knew that used to pronounce valentine's day valentimes because they thought that was they are times yeah there are times i mean yeah i guess there's no other way to say it he was today years old when he found out it's not peanut colada yeah do you have do you ever get blown away by some of those like the today i learned He was today years old when he found out it's not peanut colada. Yeah.

Do you have, do you ever get blown away by some of those? Like the today I learned things or are you like, yeah, everybody knew that. I mean, I don't know everything. There is a guy on Tik TOK who does like, uh,

his thing is like, here's something I wish I knew before I was 30 or whatever. And some of the stuff that he talks about it does i'm like huh i actually didn't know that uh but i can't think of a single one right yeah yeah i think the one that i see over and over again is there's a little part of your your like your little what do you call it gas door well i'm losing uh i'm losing my mind what do you call it oh yeah that like the the gas door yeah the latch no like the thing that opens and then you unscrew the thing there's a little cradle to put the thing in instead of oh sure

but well there's also the thing on your gas pump like on your gas uh like gas meter i don't know on your dashboard we are aliens all of us are aliens and it shows there's a little arrow on it that either goes left or right and it in case you don't if this is an unfamiliar car it's telling you what side you fill up on oh shit really i was today usually that's nuts um dave do you have an overheard or an overseen okay so here's this thing i have uh i'm trying to find more examples of it right now because it's very weird but i get for some reason on instagram it's always like showing me these this sort of meme that's like uh it involves like that your contacts they basically want you to share these kind of

posts with your contacts right so it's like uh would you rather live get uh be a multi-millionaire and have a ferrari and live with your second contact when you, when you put the at symbol, the second name that comes up, or would you rather be a billionaire, ride a helicopter and live with your fifth contact? And it's supposed to get you to share them, right?

I get so many of, would you rather like, would you rather be a professional soccer player? Uh rather like would you rather be a professional soccer player uh but you had you could be a professional soccer player but you have to beat your third contact at soccer so it's all just like wow these things to get you to share them uh and any one i've ever mentioned this to is like what the hell my instagram never does no i've never heard of this either it's hilarious uh but one that came up the other day was uh oh god can i find it uh was uh it was an animation of like a ship being launched like a computer simulation of how they launch a ship into the water yeah like from from the docks and it said the first person that comes up when you press share

wants to see this simulation of a ship launch awesome cool instagram is nuts yeah you all over it yeah you on instagram you on insta i'm on insta you know most of my instagram is like weird uh like joker slash business guy like hustle it'll be like girls don't respect anyone who doesn't is not a millionaire or whatever over a picture of the joker like i don't think which joker any of them mostly heath ledger but uh okay i would have thought there'll be some jared leto ones some walking phoenix ones now yeah nice i'll get a lot of that or like a lot of videos like on like tiktok of like a like a grandma like washing and preparing pork belly in a river or something that looks disgusting and then like by the end of it i'm like damn grandma

that looks good yeah they're like but why'd you make it in a river would you rather have had that pork thing have hair on it or stubble which would have been or like a full mustache honestly the pork that i had that had hair it was stubble and i think that was worse yeah and just whispers over it was like they shaved it shaved it and it grew back they shaved it it grew yeah over the day it got a five o'clock shadow on its ass or whatever i saw notches um i think you should go back to the bank and they would be like yeah i just want to give you a little bit of financial advice and then they turn around and they're wearing joker makeup and they say women don't respect you if you don't have a million dollars yeah open an account with td today

like i don't want this like what what does my algorithm think that I am? You know, like why does it show me Joker business guy quotes interspersed with like videos of an eight year old getting a tight fade or something? It's like, what am I Googling? What am I doing wrong? Yeah. Honestly, it's like,

Oh no, I stayed at like, I put my phone down a second while this video was playing and now it thinks i'm obsessed with like uh well let's just open it up right now chicken wing in one second or something that is always good i know the one that facebook is targeting me at all the time is i sent somebody a picture of this top type of top hat you can buy that has like a slanty top and uh okay and like so i looked at it because it was the most hilarious type of hat and now i get ads for it every day that same type of hat it's like you love this dr seuss hat

it's not even it's like it is like dr seuss but it's more like mad hatter-esque oh no yeah can you imagine going into a party and somebody was wearing that what would you do would you leave right away would you try and stick out in the kitchen or there was a guy wearing a hat like and everybody was cool with it what uh i can imagine you in a kind of top hat like um like an old timey hobo has with the lid yeah the lid yes coming off and then pull a can hobo has with the lid yeah the lid yes coming off and then pull a can of beans out of it yeah and the lid's coming off that as well your toe sticking out of your big shoe your barrel that is so funny that that was the image to like indicate poverty was a man with a top hat that was all ruffled. They would still wear a top hat

all through. It's true, but they're like traveling town to town with this top hat. Seems like a less than optimal hat. But I've never owned one, so I don't know. Graham, what's your overheard?

Mine is a combo overheard or overseen. Did I talk about the woman in the pool when I was in Vegas? This strange lady? Does that sound familiar? That was so long ago. That's true. I can't remember.

When I was in Vegas at the Bellagio, you can hang out by the pool. If you're a guest, you get a cabana. It's like a wading pool. It only goes up to about chest level. It's so great. You can bring drinks in there. There was a woman. There was a fountain in the middle that wasn't spraying water at the time.

It was just in the middle. There was a woman on her phone on a laptop balanced on the fountain. As I walked past her, she said, I am, I'm doing it right now. Okay. Wow. And did she know if the fountain was going to get turned on?

Oh, she didn't seem to care in the slightest. I don't know. Maybe her. If it turned on, would she be doomed? Yes. Oh, absolutely. It would destroy her laptop immediately. But just like, and it wasn't even on the side of the pool.

If you were going to put a laptop, that seems like the place to do it. It was precariously balanced on a ledge no more than five inches. Do you think she said she's working from home? Ignore the splashing in the background. That's my bathtub. I'm just running a bath. Ignore the sounds of people doing doing a limbo she got busted she got busted she rules i mean she's she's got money on her mind on the money it does i feel like there's a lot in vegas you will find a lot of people running some kind of uh scam like that like yes not vegas the most honorable city of the world oh it's not virtue city i'm

afraid to tell you it is sin it was founded by legitimate businessmen all of vegas yeah gambling's good and it's good it's been good ever since um now we also have overheard sent into us from people all over the world if you want to send one in you could send it into spy at maximumfund.org and this first one comes from patrick c from parts unknown i don't know where he's from uh standing in line and the person in front of me is on their phone the only thing they said on the call before they walked away was i have a crab website no no here's how i know here's how i know that that can't be what you're describing is wrong yeah is sebastian our favorite crab probably what's number two i mean at the time this is being released i will have seen the new

little mermaid that's true of course right and i gotta say sebastian's probably still number one crab yeah that's true um was there a character named mrs crab mrs crab oh no the the mr crab on spongebob he's another right possibility for top crab sure there's uh i know that that draco malfoy has a friend named crab really cool maybe i'll get a tattoo of a crab this is this is all we're all in love with crabs, right? Not the one way. Graham, I wish you overheard this guy's crab URL. Yeah, I wish you listened a little bit longer to hear that URL. I guess not you, it was Patrick C. No, but I would have done the same. I wouldn't have asked the guy.

So here are some famous crabs. Crabs. This is from an article with a hundred great ideas for hermit crab names at pethelpful.com. A hundred? A hundred, sure. A hundred including Groucho. Groucho is a good name for a crab. Coraline. These are good. Yeah, I guess those are good.

Dwebble. Dwebble the crab. Dbble oops no come on uh let's see mouthful ew sideways the crab these guys had two names and then they lost steam immediately people did not understand the assignment. And then there's some famous ones. Mr. Krabs from SpongeBob. Sebastian. Cancer, the sign of the constellation. I don't think you want to call your crab Cancer.

No, that's true. Tobotoa, the giant crab from Moana. And Mrs. Krabapple. Oh, right. Mrs. Krabappel. Oh, right. She's grabbing her name, right? She's not a crab. That article, I'm certain, was written by AI. You know what I mean?

That's a good article. You're right. It is good. Yeah. Do you have to pay money for one of those sites where you just put in ideas of images and it comes up with a crazy image or is that is that public domain is that free i don't know i've been trying oh no scared i'm scared to try i've only tried uh chat gpt which i don't you don't have to pay for it yeah but that's text and yeah did you do anything i should just say write an act for me i guess write a comedy uh tight half hour oh sure i go i'll read it verbatim yeah i did try

to see if it could write jokes and it it can't really it's only a matter of time though and people are going to go nuts for the the first funny robot and then we're that's it that's the end of our industry. Oh my god. People are now posting their names of their own hermit crabs. I have seven hermit crabs. Sheldon, Scorpio, Gemini, Pebbles, and Lemony Snicket.

Spongebob, Squidward. Lemony Snicket is a good name for a crab. That does sound right. My hermit crab's name is Hermit. That's nice. yeah this is all cool stuff um this next oh edward scissorhands is a good name for oh yes absolutely claws is a good name you know something like that um something else do you think if uh mrs claus dies santa will be single and ready to jingle all right all right this is a this is a fun all ages okay i guess i'm gonna end with my bad tim

horton's joke that everyone like um this next one comes from colin from phoenix uh earlier this week i went to the post office with the intention of buying special stamps from this year to add to a scrapbook commemorating the birth of my first child. But I would never think of that in a million years to put together an album with a stamp in it. He accidentally gave me old stamps

from 2019. I didn't realize the year on the stamps until I got home, which meant I had to go back to the post office and get the correct stamps. I went back to the post office to try and exchange the stamps. The worker told me that all sales on postage are final, and I could not

exchange them, but he said, you can get rid of the stamps by putting them on letters and boxes and sending them to your friends and relatives. That's nice okay so i guess everardo would get rid of them by just throwing them away yeah i'm so wasteful i guess podcast listeners do go to the post office sure yeah for sure have you had to be at a post office recently it's a wild it's a wild trip man it's uh yeah i i was there recently and i like i remember the lady at the post office was so grouchy and annoying yeah it strikes me as a type of grouchy job yeah there's a lot of disgruntled postal workers you hear about yeah

she was so um not uh like i i had to buy like the package there and so i was like needed to write the address on that thing and she was so annoyed that i had to ask for a sharpie they really should have a place for people who need to fill out the thing, right? Yeah, a little island or something. I think a liquor store is probably the same. I think you get people who are really happy. They're going to go have a barbecue or something and then people who are quite

tragic and or aggressive. Oh, do you think there are happy people at the post office? Oh, yeah. I think so. If they're there to pick something up, that's kind of a fun thing to do this year some cool stamps i've enclosed the stamps all over the front of this letter you can peel them off at your will if you want to steal them um but here's a weird thing uh the liquor store that i go to when i need to buy beer is uh has a tip option on its uh on its machine and i so i didn't tip but the guy was staring at the screen while i did it and i felt i felt like

a uh like i got a wave of bad vibes off of this guy's yeah it is yeah i try to tip every time i uh every time it comes up yeah that that is a bridge too far it's a bridge too far the other bridge i feel like is when literally the person is the thing standing between me and the thing i want and they literally just hand it over to me that doesn't but then i don't want to be a guy who doesn't tip you know like i just don't want to be that guy yeah yeah but at the liquor store what could i be tipping for it's like a grocery store it's like you pick out the thing and they just ring it up for you yeah exactly it's not like uh oh you know they have a sommelier on staff or uh something yeah maybe if he helped you pick a bottle or whatever but yeah just sitting at the

yeah crazy it is crazy but i was almost tempted to do it, but then I said no, and I put no, and he was staring at me the whole time. So now I hope the next time I go in, he's not working? But what am I going to do? Certainly not tip him. I can't. I've already crossed the divide.

I cannot go back. You can't be known as a non-tipper at another liquor store that's true follows me as the one it'll go on your permanent record they send my picture around from a security camera this guy doesn't tip at a liquor store what kind of selfish bastard is he uh this last one comes from rick l and woodland, California. I was people watching at the gym while using a stationary bike when I saw a guy walk by with a shirt that said in large bold letters, not a choking hazard with an arrow pointing towards his penis. Awesome. That's very good.

That guy's cool. That guy's cool. And comfortable in his own skin and comfortable yeah he is yeah and there's not much skin there as far as i can tell um i i didn't didn't like that he said he was people watching at the gym while on uh yeah i mean what else do you do though like if you have a tv there it's great but otherwise it's like you like. You know, focus on your muscles. Yeah, focus on your muscles. Keep your eyes in your own station.

Close your eyes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I guess like kind of just being in public is people watching it. Unless you're like looking at the floor all day, you know. Yeah. But to say that you're people watching at a gym is different than saying it like at a mall or something

you know that's true or on a patio yeah there's a that's why I don't go to the gym I don't want to be weird yeah exactly me too I want to be normal like everyone else doctor's orders I can't go to the gym there was a guy when I used to go

to the gym it was too good at the gym and he was always like showing everybody up and it was like you should have to go to a you graduate go to a different place you shouldn't be among us doing these amazing uh chin-ups and shit like that yeah it makes us all can't be here at wimpy's gym with the rest of us i would legitimately go to a place called wimpy's gym yeah it was like the gym for dorks yeah yeah pencil necks no weights over 50 pounds like whatever try our new hip squeak special yeah yeah it's mostly a sauna it's mostly just a sauna it's expected you only do like two things and then spend a long time in the sauna and there's like a lot of walking around area for when you hurt yourself and you

want to try to walk it off yeah and the treadmill only goes to 15 minutes and then just automatically shuts down and it consents if you're going too fast. Yeah, the Stairmaster is an escalator. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh, SpyPod 1, like these people have. Dave Graham, esteemed guest, likely.

This is Nathan calling from beautiful Skagway, Alaska. A lot of tourists here. And some fellow walking down the street, he looked like a dime store Pete Davidson, and he turns to his friend and says, no, dog, I totally fucks with kettle corn. So freaking late. All right, off I go.

Nice. Yeah, man, I fucks with it, too. Absolutely. I fucks with it, too. How do they make it? In a kettle, I guess. In a kettle? Yeah.

Is it like sweet? Is it caramel? Yeah, it's caramel. And then, yeah, it's just caramel, right? But do they add that after it's popped or is that part of the popping process that's a great question my feeling is post-pop but if they do have some way of coding it they get that post-pop clarity yeah uh i don't know shit yeah these are the secrets where we're not supposed to know these kind of things these are kettle secrets popcorn

must have been developed fairly early early in the history of fire and corn, right? At some point it was. You're going to say early in the history of baseball. Yeah. Yeah, probably. Yeah. You know what I mean? It must have been fucking shocking the first time that corn turned into popcorn.

Yeah, because you harvest a bunch of corn and then by the end of the season you're like i don't want any more corn well don't throw it away let's let it dry out yeah yeah yeah let it dry holy shit look we can use it for decorative uh decorative you know centerpieces oh no my corn art caught fire They didn't call it popcorn back then. It was popped maize. Yes. Enjoy a bowl of popped maize. But yeah, that was to freak people out. Well, do I eat it? Yeah, man, you eat it.

It'd be like if you're like stewing tomatoes and then it just comes up as cotton candy. Like, what the fuck? And the tomatoes explode into cotton candy. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. All right exactly here's your next phone call hi dave and graham and wonderful guests this is elizabeth in portland oregon i'm calling with an overseen slash herd i was checking out at my local big box store and the person in line behind me had a purse that was covered in different Pokemon and they had a skirt that had like a Pokemon pattern on it and they were carrying a big stuffed Pikachu that they were about to purchase.

Pikachu that they were about to purchase. So as I was leaving and the cashier was greeting them, the cashier said, how's your day going today? And the person held up their Pikachu and said, great, now that I found him, no friggin' way. I've been looking for a guy like this uh yeah sometimes so i i i like that this person's obsessed with pokemon but still gets excited about pikachu yeah it's like a baseball fan who's like i love babe ruth no one beats babe ruth nothing better than the classics pikachu i feel like a person like this would certainly already have a massive pikachu at home

too you know yeah but they maybe need one for the car as well yeah they need a fresh one that's not all like covered in filth and say human x-men and whatnot um what uh you're a little younger than us everardo were you a pokemon boy i was into pokemon yeah a bit what came first pokemon or red hot chili peppers in your life oh that's interesting oh and did one inform the other i feel like maybe the chili peppers but uh i was into pokemon a little bit as a kid and then a few years ago when pokemon Go came out, do you remember that? Pokemon Go, the mobile game? Yeah.

There was two weeks where I was really into that, playing it too much, walking around dehydrated in Toronto. And there was one night where me and my wife and our friend, we were playing Pokemon Go in the park. And this little kid, a 10-year-old, came up to us. And he's like, hey, I know where there's a Pikachu. And we're like, OK, cool. And so we follow this kid to the Pikachu.

There's actually two kids. And then after we get the Pikachu, one kid runs away. He's like, I got to go. And then the other kid's Pikachu, one kid runs away. He's like, I got to go. And then the other kids like, come with me. Like, I know where there's more rare Pokemon too. So like me and my wife and my friend, we're like following this child around at night. And then it like, it's now like 11 p.m.

It's dark. We're walking through like a construction site. And there's a child. And I'm like, hey, little boy, like you got to go home and do not tell your parents about what happened today. It's not weird, but don't tell them. Like they won't like this at all. And yeah, I just I hope that kid made it home. Because if he I mean mean I think he did

if he died on the way home I would be the last person seen with him at night in a construction site yeah it does look it can't be like no officer I was playing Pokemon with this this guy I know

he was like then show me the Pokemon if the Pokemon. If the Pokemon fits. Well, they were just on my phone a second ago, but oh. Yeah, like it was, and that was, I think that was the last time I ever played it. I was like, I can't, what am I doing? Yeah, this is too high.

This is leading to some high risk behavior. Yeah. Well, here's your final phone call. Hi, Dave and Graham, Impossible Guest. This is Mike calling from the East Coast, Sydney, Nova Scotia. I've got an overheard. I was hanging out with my two nephews recently. They're about three and six-ish years old.

We were hanging out in the garage at their house, and there were some big tires, a set of tires stacked up in the garage. And I picked each of the boys up and put them inside the stack of tires and told them, while they were in there, they were allowed to say one curse word. So the six-year-old looked at me and he said, stupid. And I was like, yeah, okay, that's not a nice word. I get it. And then the three-year-old uh looked at me and said uh mr duty head oh yeah again i was like you know yep that's that's bad i get it not exactly what i was going for anyway um after a second the uh the three-year-old called

me back over he said uncle mike uncle mike, Uncle Mike. And I came over. I looked down inside the tires at him. And he looked at me and he said, ball sack. Nice. Thanks. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.

Yeah, I love it. I love the idea of being lowered into a thing of tires. Can you imagine the smell? Do you like new tire smell? I love new tire smell. I like new tire smell i love new tire smell i like new tire sound when your car sounds like it's sticking to the ground yes yes um but yeah sometimes you go when you go into a bike shop it's got real rubber tires now i should hang out more at bike shops i mean they would ask me to leave buy a bike or get out they would say um it's like no i just love the smell

yeah yeah i want to test out some bells what do you got in the way of streamers let's see when this your streamer colors are um oh man i don't think i ever had streamers on my bike that's probably for the best actually uh do you have a bike now i don't have a bike and i haven't had one the whole time no i did have one for a while in vancouver never rode it too scared too scared to ride in this crazy city traffic wise i have like all all the biker people i know have all been doored that i can think of yeah they're like yeah that happens all the time. Yeah. I'm like, then don't do it. Yeah.

I don't get doored when I'm walking down the street or when I'm on the bus. Although that would suck if you got off the bus and somebody doored you right away. Yeah. I also don't bike because I, well, I don't have a bike and I'm so out of shape that anytime that I do bike, then I just arrive to wherever i am so sweaty and out of breath and i'm like i just i'll just walk for an hour and still be sweaty and out of breath but but manageably so yeah manageably so yeah i've had that for sure where i'm like well i shouldn't have done this before going to a place that I have no option of changing clothes or anything like that. Why did I bike to the opera on opening night? Yeah. My top hat thing sprung open as I was riding.

I'm all sweaty here for the deflator mouse. Well, that brings us to the end of this episode. Everardo, thank you for being our guest. Thanks for having me. Fun as always. Yeah, and you have a new album out. And you say the name of it again. Goodbye Horses.

Goodbye Horses. It's on Spotify and Apple and YouTube, Bandcamp, and so many other things that no one's ever heard of. Oh yeah. Is it on, uh, are you on Zazzle?

Yeah, probably. There was like, honestly, like 40 things that it said it was sending it to. Oh yeah. I don't know. Deezer.

Yeah. You gotta be on Deezer. Yeah. Check out Deezers.ezer yeah check out deezers yeah so check out that or if you're in more into podcasts i have a podcast called public access podcast what's the would tell us what the premise of of this podcast is um it's like a it's just 10 episode anthology kind of series based around like a fake public access network. I love it.

So like every episode is like a different show on a fake public access network. Fun. And you can get that on all the, everywhere that you download that on Deezer. Yeah. I'm sure it's on Deezer wherever you're listening to this right now, you could probably find it on there.

Oh yeah. That's right. Yeah. If you like listening to this right now, you could probably find it on there. Oh yeah, that's right. Yeah. If you like this, you may like, uh, this, uh,

weird game. Yeah. Yeah. And if you like this, why don't you go fuck yourself? Yeah. This was a trap the whole time. Yeah.

Yeah. Um, well, yeah, thanks again. And, uh, thank you everybody out there for listening to the show

and telling your friends about the show if you like the show you know what you can go over and rate and review us you can say uh what a fun time this is that you just had listening to the podcast no opposite of that we want the good but none of the bad We're not interested in bad reviews. Just keep them to yourself. What was that Seth Rogen movie where he was like a mall cop? Oh, yeah. What was that? Observe and Report. If you don't want to rate and review this, at least observe and report it. Yeah, so thanks everybody. Come on back next week

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