Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 796 - Tess Degenstein

Episode Date: June 20, 2023

Actress Tess Degenstein returns to talk candle movies, taxis vs Teslas, and baseball.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 796 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham and as always, not as always, as of recent, in his house together with me, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, we're together, together forever. We did take that vow.

What is the Rick Astley, that's the second Rick Astley song. The one that's not never going to give you up. Together forever and ever. It's basically the whatever. It's basically never going to give you up though, right? But he figured out a thing and he went with it. Yeah. And it lasted for up to two songs. He was in a commercial not that long ago and it was him Rickrolling you in the commercial.

And I was like, that was a lot of fun. If he Rickrolled me? Yeah. I'd be like that. Well, that's great. You did also just, this has become your new thing. Maybe, I don't know, maybe it's a thing you've been planning to do, and you just didn't fill me in.

But you just said, hey, welcome to the show. I'm Graham. You, you always say your full name, don't you? Oh yeah. But lately it's just Graham. Maybe I'm becoming more casual now. Maybe we'll just Graham C. Um, I noticed you're wearing a shirt with a one named performer on it as well.

Beyonce. Beyonce. I wish I could have gone only Canadian date, Edmonton, Alberta. Oh, and this tour. Yeah. Why Edmonton, Alberta? I don't know. I wish I could have gone. Only Canadian date? Edmonton, Alberta. Oh, on this tour. Yeah. Why Edmonton, Alberta? I don't know. I don't know.

Maybe they get money there. I don't know. Our guest today. Maybe they get money there. Like maybe they make a lot of money. They've got a big stadium or something. They make money here. And they do.

Apparently not. It's called Rexall Stadium. I think. No. No, she'll come here. That voice you heard. Okay. That's our Rexall Stadium. I think. No, no, she'll come here. That voice you heard. Okay. That's our guest for today.

Returning guest to the podcast. Very funny woman. Now living in Vancouver, Tess Degenstein, everybody. Hello. Hello, Tess. Here I am. Nice to meet you. Well, should we get to know us?

Yeah. Well, should we get to know us? Yeah! Now Tess, last time you were on the show I went and looked it up because I was like, Tess was on the show during COVID Hell yeah But then I realized, or remotely during COVID because hey check your wastewater numbers

but I realized you were on twice. I was. And the first time you were on, you had gotten into running. That's right. Yes. And then the second year I was on, I'd given it up completely and currently had COVID. You currently had COVID. And that was a very memorable episode because you didn't have earbuds.

You didn't have earbuds. You had to go borrow. Yes. And I couldn't leave the house. Because you had COVID. So you tried to door dash some- i think i door dashed some buds from shoppers dmart they brought them right to my door and then those still didn't work because they needed a they needed to charge oh so then wasn't your neighbor helped you out yeah so i i like scratched at the door i put down 17 to 19, scratched on the door of my upstairs neighbor and was like, please, I need earbuds for a podcast. And they're like, which one?

Yeah. Yeah. So that is a very like 2002, 22 problem, right? I need earbuds for my podcast. Yeah. Please help me. It's an emergency. I'm recording a podcast.

Do you still have those earbuds? Hell no. They never worked once and I gave them to my boyfriend. The Shoppers Drug Mart ones never worked once?

Yeah. Fuck. But I don't think I really gave him the old college thrive because I did have earbuds. I just didn't have them at the house

or something. Anyway, this is... This is absolutely people care about this. They're taking notes. Well, I guess we're all caught up. Yep. Bye, guys.

That brings us to current day. Tess. Hi, Graham. When last we spoke on the podcast, you were in Toronto. That's true. You were making your home in Toronto, Ontario. Ontario, Canada. And now you've arrived here in Vancouver.

Uh-oh. Oh, shit. Lock up your sons. Oh really? Yeah. Are you harassing a lot of boys? No. I just wanted to sound cool. No, it's just my way of saying I'm in Vancouver. Yeah. And we want to know all the deets. Yeah. Why are you here now? Okay, I come here because... Well, you know what? Before we get to that, we have just a word from our sponsor.

Vancouver Tourism. Yeah, Vancouver Tourism. You spent the first how many years of your life in Saskatchewan? Whoa, 17. And then you moved to Toronto? And then I moved to Edmonton, Alberta. Oh, that's how she knows about the Rexall Fiancé ticket. Yeah, I just couldn't stay quiet when you're talking about that old Rexall Stadium.

Is it super huge or something? I don't think so. But I do think it was recently updated. Okay. And by recently, I mean when I was living there when I was 18, just 17 years ago. But you're only 21 now. Yeah, it's so cool how I'm only 21 forever. It is cool. You remind me of that store, 21 now. Yeah, it's so cool how I'm only 21 forever. It is cool.

You remind me of that star, 21 Forever. Yeah, named after me. Yeah. Jacob 21. Okay, how long were you in Edmonton? Okay, I was in, so, Saskatchewan, 17 years. Edmonton, as long as it took for me to get a bachelor of fine arts and acting degree from the university of alberta four years go golden bears go fuck yourself

no i don't i don't remember yeah rams no that's regina lions the dinos were calgary call in yeah yeah call in and uh we got two tickets to chevronks um okay you were there and then toronto yes then toronto forever for a while but in the middle i went to berlin for two years i have to add that because so far the cities i've lived in have not been so cool and so i tried out a cool one. Yeah. Saskatoon or Regina? Regina. Regina, Edmonton, Toronto. Oh, it's cooler.

Saskatoon or Regina? Oh, no. Don't make me do this. It's Saskatoon. They have a river. They're pairs of the prairies. Yeah. Yeah.

I love it. Saskatoon's great. But Regina has more time that I've spent living there. That makes it pretty cool. That says it on the plaque on the edge of town. Has more time Tess spent living here. And the Rotary Club. These are the two things. Yes, exactly.

You went to Berlin? Yeah, for two years I was living in Berlin. What were you doing? Not DJing like everyone else there. I was hanging out. No, it was very funny in Berlin. I was living there with my partner at the time. And I remember his dentist was a DJ.

Everyone that we met was also a DJ. Yikes. Well, I'm going to spin a couple of tunes there while you're doing the fluoride treatment. Yeah, either the greatest dental experience of your life or the most unsettling yeah you walk in you're just wearing like a pacifier to keep from grinding his teeth yeah there's a a dentist in town called uh house of teeth and he's like a cool yeah yeah that's been recommended to me when i uh asked for for help knowing about dentists on Instagram. You have a way with the English language.

Can you believe it's my first and only tongue? If you could know another language, what would it be? Wow. Well, probably one of the romance languages, David, because I like to get it on. Yeah, sure. Like all of your sons. We're talking German. We're talking East German. Did you learn any german in berlin nine okay not just that though i took a class uh was bad at it there's

three different so like french has a feminine masculine german has feminine masculine and which is neutral okay so at that point i i was just like, this is so hard for me. Yeah. And as an annoying North American where everyone there speaks English, try as I might, which was not very hard, I never managed to learn it. But everyone speaks English anyway. They do. They do.

But it would have, I'm sure, opened up a whole beautiful world of literature and movies. Well, life to me, if I would have really committed to the bit. You could have seen Rush Hour 3 in German. In German. I did see Napoleon Dynamite in German. Did you? Yeah. Is it good?

Super cool. That was good. Super cool. Okay. So what, like, did it have subtitles or was it in English with German subtitles? I think it was dubbed. Oh, okay. Interesting option.

Which was fun for Napoleon Dynamite. It kind of feels dubbed anyway. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of dub, that's the kind of DJ I am when I go to Berlin. Do they go in Berlin? DJ Dub Clark. Were they like, oh oh we're going to see

this fascinating foreign film no no I didn't see it in theaters it was on it was on the television oh okay

yeah which is what they call TV there oh okay television with a K yeah and the S's

all have H's ah C-H. Television. Television. Do you, like you were living there for two years. Did something happen that you had to leave? Can't talk about it on air.

Ask me off air. No, I, we were just, my partner was doing a job there and then the job ended. Nice. Okay. No further questions. And then went back to Toronto and then, yeah, now I'm here. Nice. Yeah.

Was it any particular reason to move out here or did you just like Vancouver? I just like it. Yeah. Yeah. It's pretty. You got trees here. It's, that's really. Toronto just has the one big tree, right?

Yeah. Yeah. The Eaton Center. The CN Tower. The CN Tower. Yeah. tree, right? Yeah. The Eaton Center. The CN Tower. The CN Tower, yeah. No, Toronto's got a couple, but here there's so many. They smell so good. They're so thick.

Yeah. And they stay thick all year round. Yeah. It was really nice. Well, I guess the evergreens stay thick in the winter. Sure. And the ferns. I guess those aren't trees, but.

Yeah. They have. But good shout out. Shout out to ferns. Also, kale grows like trees, but. Yeah. They have their. Good shout out. Shout out to ferns. Also, kale grows like crazy here. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

Like just on the streets. On the streets. On the streets. Yep. And we have to, we have a whole city team that removes it. It's actually invasive. It kind of takes over. Are you guys?

Is this real? This is one of our notorious pranks. Yeah. You know, if you have a garden, it will grow. Unless it gets like really cold, it's really hardy. That's cool. Yeah. Maybe I'll.

And even the raccoons won't touch it. I don't want this. Right. Give me a candy bar. They're like, that's a bit 2012. Mm-hmm. Yeah. What are we going to eat?

What is the sweet potato for us sure aioli yeah quinoa yeah what else uh bibimbap almond milk i was just trying to think of things that were hard to pronounce like kale we're doing different bits yeah yeah what. What is the current one? What's the current trend? Yeah. Oh, food item. Oh, I was going to say nootropics.

I don't know. Because it was avocado for a while. Avocado was never the thing. Yeah, onto avocado toast. Yeah, avocado toast. Oh, fuck me. No, it's a good question.

What's trendy with food? I did see, I follow a lot of food Instagrams. Well, I follow like three, but then I get suggested a hundred others. Nice. And someone was saying, oh yeah, I make this recipe with nooch. And then I had to look up what is nooch. What is it?

What's nooch? Nutritional yeast. Nice. Oh, I'm picturing like, this is maybe just why I'm trash, but I just was picturing like a neutral, like vodka soda. Oh, sure. Jousing a chicken with some nooch. I was like,

I guess that's trendy. Neutral. I think not neutral. What are you, how do you pronounce? I've always called it neutral. Yeah. But look,

I've never been to Germany. I've never been around the world. I've never been around Germany. Yeah. Gender. To me, neutral is a woman. Um, yeah. And that's how I know they're German gender. To me, Neutral is a woman.

And that's how I feel when I drink Neutral. What's your favorite ready-to-drink cocktail? For me, it's got to be Neutr. I don't really have one. I don't know the ones from the others. Oh, yeah. I don't have them either. Didn't you have one that you liked that was all in a can?

No, I was given a bunch. My problem is I want to try them all, but then they come in an eight pack, and then I have seven I don't want. Yeah. Oh, that's true. Yeah. I want to know more about the kale here. Okay. Graham, take over. Is it really invasive?

No. No, it's not invasive. This was you guys. This was a bit. Yeah. But it's a hardy crop it is a hardy crop. And I could be wrong. Maybe in the dead of winter, it's not growing as much, but it doesn't like shrivel up and

die like other. Wow. A lettuce would never. Right. It's structural. Now, Graham, do you, have you ever grown this thing? I've just been in gardens and like in the winter there, that seems to be the only thing that's.

Sure. And you know, and yeah, how do you know? Are you going looking under... Yeah, I get my fork and knife out and I put some salad dressing on it. Are you sure that's not chard in any way? Oh, no, but I get chard confused with... Rhubarb? Rhubarb.

Oh, yeah, what's the diff? One's rhubarb. Yeah, one's different than the other. Okay, so one is... But one's kind of savory. I feel like chard's like, you're going to mix chard and eggs. You're going to mix rhubarb and sugar.

Yeah, rhubarb is like a tart, sour thing. Yeah, yeah. I said good pie and? Cordial. Yeah, good cordial. Fine. Graham just really threw to David and he did not receive the pass.

I have been, for many years I made rhubarb cordial which is when you mix rhubarb sugar and vodka. That sounds delicious. And you let it sit

for four weeks. You're a regular like nooch, noochman. I'm like Ted Noochin. Yeah. And, but then I stopped

making it because Ikea makes a rhubarb syrup but then, you know, what do they call it? Supply chain issues have caused me not to find that rhubarb syrup the last couple of years. Ikea's out?

Ikea's out. Damn. Yeah. Yeah, got to get those boats back on track. Get this man his syrup. Yeah, get me my syrup. Get me my, I like their sweet pickles too. Although I'm sure I could find those anywhere. I didn't know Ikea had any of this kind of stuff. Oh my God, get me my syrup. Get me my I like their sweet pickles too. Although I'm sure I could find those anywhere. I didn't know Ikea had any of this kind of stuff.

Oh my god, we gotta go. Yeah, let's go. We must. Okay, this has been great. Get in the car. Yeah, I like their mustard as well. And that's about it. I don't like the meatballs. I don't like the street balls.

I don't like their kale. Their street kale. the... Street balls. I don't like their kale. Their street kale. I do play street ball. Yeah, that's right. I forgot. I was in the three-on-three tournament at Ikea last year. And you refuse to go pro no matter how many times they ask you. I won't do it.

Street ball is the only place for you. You got what it takes, kid. Not interested. I've seen you playing around these beds. We think you got it. When's the last time you went to Ikea? Ooh, I've been on their website quite a lot lately because we had to furnish our place from scratch. Yeah.

But they seemed to be out of everything that we wanted, which was really only Malm drawers. Have you checked on like Facebook marketplace? Yeah. Yeah. Don't tell Malm the babysitter's dead. I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus. Yeah. Stop or my mom will shoot.

Yeah. My mom. Yeah. Stop or the bed will shoot. Yeah. So I, but I haven't been, I haven't, I'm not put in an Ikea recently and frankly, it sounds like a lovely day trip. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that's been years and years since I went. No, that's not true. I took Alicia Tobin there to pick something up. And I did not care for the experience. No? No. Too labyrinthine?

Yeah. I'm not, like if I was in the market for something, I might enjoy it more, but I don't just like walking around displays. Yes, that's fair. Although I do like wandering around a Canadian tire, so maybe it's just the displays that I like. Maybe you just don't like the smell. displays. Yes, that's fair. Although I do like wandering around a Canadian tire. So maybe it's just the displays that I like. Maybe you just don't like the smell.

Maybe you need a big tire smell. Oh, yeah. Oh, Canadian tire smells amazing. Yeah. It smells like basketballs being blown up. Yes. Yes, like with the little hose that goes in the spout. Mmm.

I want to drink it. Rubber is a very specific. It reminds me of childhood. Yeah, that's the smell. It's rubber. Yeah. Because it's tires. I thought it was basketballs.

Well, it could be. I don't know. They have a pretty active sporting department. Yeah. Active. I walked past like a makeshift gate that was made of like new wood. And it smelled so nice. It smelled like a lumberyard. At where? Just of like new wood and it smelled so nice it smelled like a lumberyard at where just like on the street street gate yeah yeah you're talking street gate

you know i'm talking street gate man this in-person energy there's nothing beats it talking street it's absolutely kale we've been talking for 15 minutes. Haven't made any sense at all. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, I was smelling that. There used to be a place called Beaver Lumber, which was like. Hell yeah. I think it was less a competitive Canadian attire, more like lumber.

They had a lot of lumber. I remember their ads. They were like, I felt really practical and homespun. Yeah. Yeah. It was just like a man in front of some wood. Yeah. You could ask for a certain size.

He would have it. I think he had a vest. He had a tartan vest. This is the spokesperson? I don't know. I think the spokesperson is a beaver. Oh, yeah. That makes sense.

There is a... So there's like... In the last two years, there's constantly houses being built in my neighborhood. And the way they do it is they just like the all the supplies arrive in the morning like a lumber truck yeah comes and just drops off tons and tons of wood and then the next day drops off more wood and then you know a few weeks go by then it drops off a ton of drywall oh can you can you leave that outside? I mean, not in the rain.

Yeah, that would be wet wall. Soaked wall. Come on, man. Uh, but, uh,

the company that does it is called Dick's Lumber. Oh yeah. What is it about dicks and beavers that makes people want lumber? Dick's Lumber. Uh, D-I-C-K posture. Yes.

Yeah. Okay. Not D-I slumber. D-I-K slumber. D-I-C-K-P-S-T-R-E-S? Yeah. Okay. Not D-I slumber. D-I-K slumber. Dick slumber. So Dick slumber is when it's asleep. Yes. Yeah.

The refractory period. Yeah. And then when it wakes up, poo boy. Boy, howdy. So you don't have any furniture yet? Oh, now we do. Okay, good. Yeah, it's been a couple months.

We thought, eh, let's get something to sit and sleep on. Yeah. What did you sleep on the first night? Some friends of ours gave us a mattress for the first night. So we did have a mattress. Just for the first night? Well, no, they gave it to us, but then we had to go back. It was a very spontaneous move.

Well, no, they gave it to us, but we, then we had to go back. It was a very spontaneous move. So we decided we were going to move before we really, we got our place before we had decided we were going to move. And then that was the decision. So we had to go back to Toronto, pack up our respective houses, get ready to. Oh, you were visiting here? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And found, I was on Craigslist late one night and found

an apartment that I liked and thought this couldn't be real. And then went to see it the next day and now I live in it. Yeah, that's the same story for me. Really? Yeah, just like random listing on Craigslist. Went, looked at it. It was perfect. They wanted us to move in. Ta-da. Yeah.

Your current place? You didn't move cities though because of a Craigslist ad. Well, a lot of people say south of 40th is like a whole different experience out there. Is that where you

were before? Where are you now? I was there before. Okay. Now I live two blocks away from this guy. Hot dog. Friends are at it

again. Yep. Being neighbors. Watching dicks drop off the lumber in the morning. Wake up. Dicks dropping stuff off. Come over.

Graham, Graham, there's no dicks delivery. Get up. Peddling your little bicycles to the lumber when it's dropped off. Can we heckle it? Yeah. This is how I picture you two. Well, get away. Cop a whip for that.

Nice. Nice. you too well get a couple with for that nice nice um so you uh we've known you to be an actor are you still are you still acting are you still at my own life uh yes yes i am i still act on the stage and screen what have you done on stage recently oh that's a good one i mean nothing okay sure me too since probably last year uh i did noises off at the massey theater and that was an arts club show and so i was in vancouver then doing that that's great yeah it's fun and then just just lots of improv okay it's its own kind of acting i suppose i think there's like a pretty good improv scene here oh i don't go to improv so i don't really know it rules it's so good have you met half of our guests uh yeah they're all very funny but there's like this pretty good they're great but

there's a whole new uh group of kids that open up a space tightrope yes yeah i've been doing shows with them yeah it's just in like a store space and they like do the shows in the back yes yeah well yes there's like there's a friend space where they do the shows and in the back it's a taxidermy business no way not the same people running it but that's just yeah that's the two folks who are who are in that who rent that that space wow really fun so occasionally the taxidermist will come by, not during a show, but just in rehearsal. Check this out.

Yeah, a little bit. Did you ever get the feeling he's sizing you up? Well, just like that classic riddle, the taxidermist is a woman. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I can't stuff this. It's my son.

Yeah, exactly. I look up that riddle probably every four months. I think it's so funny. Like, wait, how does it work again? How does it work? Because it's so crazy that the punchline or the gotcha is that someone in the world is a woman. Yeah. It's really insane.

And I looked up the stats on this actually two nights ago yeah go on what are the stats on this riddle cold data uh 40 to 70 percent of people can't figure it out i i think that was a they can't figure out the riddle yes okay so it's like the the son the father and his son are in an accident they're flown to two separate hospitals for no reason. Okay, sure. And then. And where do they bury the survivors? Nice. Great question.

And no one can, 40 to 70 people can't answer it. But then, yeah, the son goes to a hospital and the surgeon says, well, I can't operate on this little guy. It's my son. The little champ. How is that possible? Yeah. It's my son. The little champ. How is that possible? Yeah, it's really wild. People couldn't, yeah. Why was the dad brought to a different hospital?

No idea, so that they could tell this beautiful riddle. I guess there are children's hospitals. Yeah. Oh yeah, I guess so. Yeah, you wouldn't, yeah, you wouldn't get. Well, I mean, if it was an emergency. Boy, if I've, so I'm... I was just thinking if me and my dad are in an accident.

I'm sorry. Why would they bring me to a children's hospital? I'm 42 years old. You just have to be a child of someone. But yeah, I guess like... Or a child at heart. Yeah.

Child of God. Yeah, sure. I guess I kind of grew up in... I'm sorry. I took us to a place where you're thinking about getting in an accident with your dad? No, I really should be thinking about getting in an accident with my children. Yes, that's right. Yeah. I'm sorry. I took us to a place where you're thinking about getting an accident with your dad. No, I really should be thinking about getting an accident with my children.

Yes, that's right. Yeah. Pass it on. Turn, turn, turn. Boy. Well, that's a good riddle. 40 to 70. That's.

It's a stumper. And it's really just like, that's a big 30% span. It is. Like, I don't, I don't know if that dad is any good. yeah span yeah it is like I don't

I don't know if that data is any good have you ever done a like a riddle or a quiz question

that the like you've clicked on because it's like only 2% only geniuses are able to

find this and then you do it right away and you're like no way maybe I'm a genius

but does it how does that make you feel like do you do you feel like actually maybe I am look

I wanna be but uh I don't know I don't think I've been i don't i didn't get this quiz right so i i believe if you passed a thing i'd be like yeah you're a genius graham but like nice i feel like there's a lot of kinds of geniuses that's true and he knows about the street he's got street kale street gate yeah street smart yeah so he's got Street Smart. But I feel like, oh, boy. Oh, I wish I was a comedy genius. Nope, you're a genius at this one website.

What's your website? It's a website that you click on and you pass this one. Oh, yes. I get it. I thought you meant like my Squarespace. I am also. No, I'm also a total. I'm a genius at Yahoo. At Ask Jeeves. I always get the ones that are like, only traumatized people can solve this.

Have you ever seen these? It comes up on my Instagram ads a lot. And it's like connecting, it's usually connecting same colored dots without making lines cross. Oh. Yeah. That actually without making lines cross. Oh. Yeah. That actually takes a while. Oh, yeah. I have seen that.

Yeah. I've seen that happen. Seeing if you can go like. But I don't know. It doesn't. Maybe. It doesn't just. I don't see the word traumatized in the ad for it, though.

Maybe it's dad. Swapped around. Yeah. It's like only world's best dad can solve this. Yeah. Only geniuses. Also, I can't solve it. Are you allowed to.

Unless you're allowed to loop outside of the... Yeah, unless you can leave the room. Yeah. Take the ball to another puzzle. Can I go all the way around the world and come around? Yeah. And they're like, that's the right answer. You are traumatized.

Would either of you take an IQ test? No. Or have you? Let's take one right now. Okay, there's these dots, you see. Yeah. You've got to connect to these. Like a take one right now. Uh, okay. Yeah. There's these dots. You see. Yeah. You gotta connect. Like a real one.

Yeah. No, I guess I would, but like, I don't know what good it would do me. Get a dementia. Yeah. Imagine. From Mensa to dementia. For the next 50 years of my life. Dave Shamka story.

Uh, would you have you? No, I would, though. Yeah. But it would be hard to burst the bubble of maybe. Yes. And then you take the test and you're like, definitely not. Yeah. Oh, well.

I also feel like, what if I was going to get smarter? Like, would this stop me from, I'd be like, eh, I'm dumb anyway. I'm not going to read that book. What is the um totally like I worry I'd be like yeah it's all just head to the couch how many questions would be in an IQ test because I feel like I took one like in the early days of the internet and it was like 20 questions yeah well this isn't this doesn't feel like I I think it's like something takes like 40 minutes or an hour to do I feel like I took a long one in the early days of the internet, but maybe it was the

same one and my dial up was just making it feel long. I'd answer a question and then it'd be like, uh, for 10 minutes. The modem sound? That's a good modem sound. Yeah. Help me. I'm a computer. Computer.

of sound yeah help me i'm computer um so uh welcome to this welcome to vancouver thanks you're officially here now because i'm so glad uh yeah that i got pranked right away yeah the kale now i feel like okay i've been initiated yeah yeah is there anything like that in other cities that like's Cabbage in Toronto. Oh, they do call it Cabbage Town. Cabbage Town, yeah. And there's big heads of cabbage. Oh, okay. That's pretty good.

Around the streets, yeah. On the streets? Yeah, like in, well, not like rolling, like tumbleweeds. Just keep hitting car windshields. It's been a real problem. And hitting horse-covered wagons uh but cabbage town is where they film murdoch mysteries oh nice blimey yeah it'd be cool to see a tumbleweed cabbage rolling have you ever been on murdoch mysteries i have twice

what about frankie drake yes okay i've done them all You've done all the old timey mystery shows. Can I remember the characters? What about? Mary something in Murdoch Mysteries, but the recent, Diana Vermont. Nice. Diana Vermont in Murdoch Mysteries. You've been on Murdoch as multiple characters? Different ladies. Wow.

Yeah. How long do you guys think Murdoch Mysteries has been on the air? 17 seasons. Is it 17? Yeah. My whole life in Regina. Was it before? long do you guys think murdoch mysteries has been on the air boy 17 seasons is it 17 yeah my whole life in regina was it before are there early season like in standard definition oh oh probably yeah standard definition i don't okay guys you gotta meet some middle ground here. I got to go. The other night I put on a... A negligee.

An art documentary. A nightcap. I fell asleep to this 1980 art documentary called The Shock of the New. Ooh. Good. That's great. And it was in standard definition. I was like, oh boy, this is...

I would really like to see these paintings in high definition. Oh, I love it. Everything feels like Coronation Street. It feels kind of more 3D to me for some reason, like less flattened. Oh, well, because the screens were so. They're so round. That's true. They're bulbous.

They're a little bulbous. Do you remember when you would turn it off and it would have like static to it? Yes. That's a smell I miss. Oh, yeah. That smell of like a TV that's turned on. when you would turn it off and it would have like static to it. Yes. That's a smell I miss. Oh yeah. That smell of like a TV that's turned on. Yeah.

Just like hot wires. Yeah. Yeah. Like cooking electronic. A cathode ray tube. Yes. Oh, and the little sound they made. And there's just a little crackle to it when you rub your hand over it.

Yes, totally. And how it was, there was like a difference between the color when you just turned it off and then the color when it was completely off do you know what i mean it was like yeah yeah it would go to black yeah i loved that i loved that it was i don't know it was my first encounter with liminal space i guess and what a what an encounter it's been. Boy.

There's a restaurant here called Meat. And they have in the corner, they have an old TV playing VHS movies. And you can barely see anything. Like it just looks like a blob. And you're like, I think this is Jurassic Park. Yeah. Yeah. Someone. That's what we were watching all those years.

We were watching just, and we were like, oh, this is amazing. And during the day, like it was like, good luck seeing your VHS tape. It was so hard to see anything with natural light coming in.

Well, I still like the last, I, I, because I fall asleep now at like 10 o'clock and the kids fall asleep an hour before me. And I'm like, i can't watch a movie in an hour if only there was a fast movie i could watch uh but like so i watch movies in

the daytime quite a bit and i was watching gone girl and it's so dark it's so dark and it's like just like every window like all the natural light coming in just i guess i guess that's ben affleck's dick occasionally you see like her teeth and a dick and like the sheen of a knife yeah like is this jurassic park what does this look like jurassic is she british in that uh no okay no yeah oh is she british in real life i think so yeah she's i have her in my mind as she's like a funny swearer in movies. Like, she'll be like, oh, fuck. Like, it's quite grand. Yeah.

I think she has a couple of good swears in that movie. Am I allowed to swear on this? Yeah. No. Yeah, this is a PBS. Oh, frig. Yeah, no, that's good. Yeah, come to think of it, she's probably very British.

That voice was probably very bad. Yeah. I don't know if it's bad. It's just like so intentional. Like it's like, I feel like there's, I think George Clooney is like the standard American. Oh, do you want to hear my George Clooney impression? Yes, very badly. Okay, let me turn around.

Here it comes. He's getting into character. Ah, yeah, that is him. Oh, ha, ha, ha, ha. Ah, yeah, that is him. Oh my God, I thought George was here. That's crazy. George!

Yeah, standard American accent. If you saw George Clooney walking down the street and you wanted to yell like, just like something really quick. Fuck you!

Would you yell George or George Clooney? Or just Clooney? I think I would say George. I would just yell george nespresso sucks i think it doesn't and you know it i hate the pods man really i can't pod for environmental reasons or flavor reasons they have horrible policies on flavor i like them. I think they're good. I think I would yell, it's George Clooney. Because the idea of talking to him directly, I'm like, that's not, my brain can't do it.

Yeah, that's right. I'm like, no, he's on a TV. If I'm seeing him, he's on a TV. He can't hear me. So I think I'd be like, it's George Clooney. I've often thought that about Arnold Schwarzenegger. If I saw him in real life, it would be like meeting Roger Rabbit or something. Oh man, every time I go to LA and I'm in Venice Beach, I'm always thinking about Arnold.

It's like training on Muscle Beach down there. Yeah. Like how, just so surreal that like you could have just walked down the boardwalk and Arnold Schwarzenegger would have been there. Just like working out. Yeah. There are two Arnold Schwarzenegger things that Netflix keeps trying to get me to watch that are brand new. Yeah. He has a show maybe?

He has a show called Foo Bar. Okay. Like the Canadian. Like the Canadian mockumentary. Yeah. And then I think. They're filming a threequel of the Foo Bar. Good for them.

Yeah. And then the third, and then something just called Arnold, I think. It's like a documentary. Yeah. He's fascinating. He's like a fascinating character. If he was born in America, he would have been president. Yeah.

What is your, like, I know he's fascinating for a million reasons, but when you say that, is there one thing in particular you're thinking of? knighting for a million reasons but when you say that is there one thing in particular you're thinking of uh well just that he like came to the country made his name bodybuilding that it's turned that into an acting career then parlayed that into government career yeah truly like it's just i can't i can't think of somebody who's done more with. The last like upwardly mobile American. Yeah, exactly. He also, I think he lives with donkeys. That makes sense.

I've got this like picture, like inside, I've got this picture of him at one of his homes, I think. You think he owns more than one home? I don't know. I mean. I think he's a modest guy. I wouldn't put it past him. And there's, yeah, donkeys clip-clopping around in his kitchen behind him. Hmm.

Well, I believe it. Yeah. If you've got a big enough house for donkeys to be around, why not? Yeah. Now that I know there's this documentary. Yeah. More like donkey-mentary. Exactly.

Exactly. Anyways, we wish Arnold Schwarzenegger the best. Clooney. I'm yelling at Clooney. Boy, if I got the courage up, I might go, Cloon Dog! Cloon Dog would be good. Hey, CD! He'd be like, what?

Cloon Dog. Cloon Dog, my man. And then he'd take you out for a sweet pod. Then he'd go and probably, you know, give me a prank me. Oh, yeah, he loves pranks. Oh, yeah. He loves pranks. Oh, yeah. Legendary prankster.

What are his pranks? They're like calling someone and being like, we work at seven. And then it wasn't till noon. Well, his famous pranks are, he used to live with Richard Kind. Yeah. Oh. Oh. That's cute.

Yeah. Yeah. But he only lived with him as a prank. No, the prank there were two pranks that i can recall one was he saw someone had thrown away this horrible painting yeah and uh like it was he just found it in the alleyway and uh he grabbed it and brought it home and hid it under his bed or whatever. I don't know exactly. But then he told Richard Kind, I'm starting to take painting lessons. And once a week, he would leave, he would make sure he wasn't home and he would say he was at a painting lesson.

Yeah, it feels like, want to get together on Wednesday? No, I got my painting lesson. Yeah. Okay. And then when Richard Kind's birthday came around, he gave him this horrible painting. Oh my God. That's pretty good. That's pretty good, eh? Yeah. He's got a lot of He gave him this horrible painting. Oh, my God. That's pretty good. That's pretty good, eh?

Yeah. He's got a lot of time, I think, probably. The other one. He's got the assets to come up with good pranks. I mean, the other one is Richard Kind's cat. Cat. Yeah. George Clooney kept stealing his poop out of the litter box.

Yeah. And then he, for like days and days and weeks, I don't know. And Richard Kine was getting very worried. And then one day, after stealing all these tiny cat poops, he himself pooped in, George Kine pooped in the litter box. He didn't really? Yeah, I think that's how it goes, right? Yeah. I mean, just picturing it.

What a sight. How did he get in? Wait, they live together. They live together, yeah. No, he just asked Richard, can I take shit in your house? And he's like, I guess. And he's like, it's for a prank. Yeah.

It's to prank you. It's because I've been stealing the cats. Funny. Yeah, I'm trying to develop a thing. Well, yeah. I mean, like, if it was more than a week, I think I would take the cat to the vet and be like, unplug, please. Unplug. Unplug my cat.

And plug it back in. Oh, you meant turn off life support. I was like, bring him. They immediately put him on life support. My cat seems totally fine. Like, he's conscious. Turn off the machine. Yeah.

Fuck. Yeah, we've, there's no quality of life here. Switch it off. when they say pull the plug i always think of like grabbing the cord and just yeah get out like yeah is that what they do no i would if i was in charge but i'm not no it's like a five-step process they gotta you know dim the light dim the lights put the machines on standby yeah get a lobster. Last meal. Oh, sure. Just for the people pulling the plug? I think the person having a plug

pulled is probably unresponsive at that point. Ah, yes. You know what my last meal would be if I was in prison? A gun. I'm going to eat a gun. And then I turn the tables on them. Now you're my bitch. But do you eat it? No, you're the weapon. They tell me I have to.

They give me mustard to put on it. I start pretending like I've got to eat it. I just eat that bit of the handle. Oh, I understand. Okay. I thought you were going to eat it, become a weapon. Yeah. Oh, become a gun.

I thought you were going to eat it and then start spitting out bullets. Yeah, become like Rose McGowan in that Grindhouse one. Leg shooter. What's that grindhouse one. Yeah. What's that one called? Planet terror. Yes. You're right. The other one is called death proof. Yes.

Yeah. Um, Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Oh, not much. Um,

really not much. Uh, so do you ever have like a super simple thing to do and you just can't do it? Yeah. And it's even like. Called writing an email for me. Yeah. That's up there.

Clearing the email inbox is my. This would take 20 minutes. Yeah. I'm not going to do that. How many unreads you got? In the account I'm thinking of, there's about 700. In the account? No, sorry, there's about 700. So. In the account.

No, sorry, that's wrong. It's, it's 200, 200. 200. Is it our account? No. Okay. Uh, it's just my, uh, CBC work account. Oh, sure.

I've just let it slide, which, uh, I wanted to keep that one clean. In there, brother. Yeah. Yeah. But I won't, I'll do anything but. I'll go lie on the couch and just stare into the ceiling. Look at the stars I put up there.

That would be pretty cool actually. Fall asleep looking at this. I have them or my kids have them. They're not as good as I remember from my childhood. They don't carry the light as well. They were like toxic whatever it was that made them super glowing. Oh yeah, sure.

We got them from the nob, Chernobyl. That's what we call Chernobyl. The, so my thing has been, so a friend of the show, Alicia Tobin, we, on Instagram, she'll send me like a cute video of a dog. Yeah. Or a dog doing something silly or a stupid person saying something stupid of uh gold yeah she sends them to me as well lots of lots of people she knows i like people falling down slipping on something and falling down oh that's nice yeah somebody's

trying to show off and then they fall off a table these type of when your friend knows knows your interests that's nice it is nice yeah oh this is for Graham. There's people falling down. And I'll send them back to her. I'll find things and I'll be like, oh, Alicia will like this. Yeah. And I'll send her, I think probably she does two to one. She sends me more than I send her. Okay.

But I'm just trying to keep up. And then a couple weeks ago, I just reached a point where I was like, she sent me a couple. I didn't watch them. Oh no. The next day she sent me a couple more. She's going to kill you when she hears this. You seem to send her a link to this episode. It got to the point where she had sent me 11

and I was like, I'll never catch up on these. I wrote her and I said, I'm really sorry. I just, I can't watch these right now. I just, I, I can't do it. I can't do it. What did I say exactly? Did it feel like it, were you in places where you couldn't play videos? No.

Was it, had you lost interest in dogs? No. Was it, had you lost interest in dogs? No. Wow. It was that thing of, like, I fall asleep so early now that I'm like, well, normally I would, like, you know, have five minutes before bed to, like, check out some stuff on my phone. But I just didn't, I was just asleep before. Oh, before that little time. Mm-hmm. And what did I write to her?

I said, Alicia, I'm so far behind on these videos. And she said, okay, I'll let you catch up. And then the next day she sent me two more videos. Just thinking about it, you know? Yeah, it's nice. And then a few days after that, she sent me a video about someone getting annoyed that their friend sent them too many videos. So how far caught up are you? I'm proud to say that today I watched all 15 videos.

Nice. Congratulations. It took me five minutes. It was fun. Yeah. But it is that like, there is always a thing that you're like, logically this should only take two minutes.

Like going and getting the laundry out of the dryer. Like I'm like, just go now. Just go now. Don't put it off another half an hour. Yes. Don't put it off an hour so that somebody has to take it out and put it on the table. But I'm like, maybe I'll have a nap then. For me, it's once the laundry is back in the house, it's out of the dryer, it's up the stairs, it's in the apartment, it's beside the drawers, it's going to go in.

And there it shall stay. I just, I cannot make the transition of getting it into those drawers. Yeah. Also laundry feels like something that after you've done the first step and initiated it, it's done. Like I'm always like, I did the laundry when I've just put it in the machine. And I kind of, I forget every time that I'm like, oh no, this is a multi-step process that you're going to like drag your body around on the ground all day trying to finish it. Yeah.

Like crawl on your knees in humbleness back to the big tank. Yeah. Many times throughout the day. Yeah. Prostrate yourself before this activity. It's not finished. Sometimes you get it and like one thing's still damp and then you're like well now i gotta find a place to fucking hang this thing up and it's true yeah

oh man it's i um that's why i re-wear shirts never i'll never do that i had more i i i could live the rest of my life and not wear a shirt twice. That's why I became a nudist. Yeah, nature shirt. Well, I wear kale. Kale just overtakes your body here. Yeah, I like my nature shirt. Nice and loose. I like even nice and loose.

Extra large. Yeah, I'm pretty good at finishing up my laundry. I will sometimes forget that I put it in the dryer four hours earlier and I'll be like, damn it. But then when it's time

to get it out, it's all, I'll hang it all up. I'll do the job unless it's like exercise clothes. And then I'm like, these don't ever need

to be folded. Like they can just be in a clump. You're going to, it's because you're going to steam them when you, when you run and use the elliptical yeah rowing machine yeah exactly they'll be in five minutes with the way

i my body's just like are these like uh elastic kind of outfits like yeah they're a big bunch of elastics that i wear around my there's a lot of sportswear is like elastic, right? Or is this cotton sportswear? Or like spandex. Yeah. Yeah. It's, it's like, you know, the, uh, not cotton. Not cotton. Well, like. Not spandex, but like, you know, some of it's like that dry fit.

Yeah. Yeah. That's what I'm talking about. Oh yeah. Wicks moisture. Yeah. It wicks. Not to brag.

My clothes wick. Look, we all knew we were all using the word wick as a verb before dry fit came along yeah and so we all understood it wick slumber dropped off every morning and then john wick came out and then it was a back to chaos again yes is he named after the candle uh vice versa actually oh really yeah he's part of the Candleverse. Oh, really? Yeah. What else is? Casper the Friendly Ghost, The Addams Family. Oh, yeah.

Phantom of the Opera. Beetlejuice is in there. Phantom of the Opera. Ebenezer Scrooge carries one. Yeah, he carries a little one. Yeah, that's true. What else is

Candle adjacent? Lesbian sex scenes on TV. Sure. And straight sex scenes. That's true. I don't know if it straight sex scenes. I think. That's true. Didn't they. There's.

I don't know if it came out. But I think for the 20th anniversary of The Room. Oh yeah. Which I believe had candle sex scenes. Oh before we. I have another candle one I want. Let me come back and mention my other candle one when I'm done. But they made like a remake of The Room starring Bob Odenkirk. Oh yeah?

And they shot it all in one day. Wow. It was all green screen. That's fun. When's it coming out? I don't know. It's supposed to like, I think this month. Oh, I have a guess at what your other candle one is.

Go for it. Yeah, I have one. I have a guess as well. Beauty and the Beast? Beauty and the Beast. Ah, no, but good. Lumiere. Yeah.

Yeah. Classic. Bee. Yeah, like hottie. Yeah, Jerry Auerbach. Did you know that? Oh my God, yes. I forgot. Yeah. I knew B. Yeah, like hottie. Yeah, Jerry Auerbach. Did you know that? Oh my God, yes. I forgot.

Yeah. I knew, but I forgot. I was going to go with Under the Candelabra himself. What's his name? Pavarotti? Liberace. Pavarotti. So wrong.

Rigatoni. Tony Soprano. So that's something that's going on with me. Yeah. Is I've been, you know, whatever I said before. Watching vids. Anyone really speak to you? Boy, what was the best one?

She even had a dog in it. Okay. Well, there was this one that I'd seen before. Also, when I watched the movie, I wrote back to Alicia, oh, I had seen all these before. The one, it's a classic one of this Australian guy who broke up with his girlfriend and while breaking up with her, like posted a thing, like posted her phone number for a Chewbacca impression.

Oh, yes. Yeah, I remember that. And so she got the like voicemail full of people just doing Chewbacca. Oh, my God. When they broke up? Yes. Oh, that's sad. That should have been like, that's proposal shit.

That is, yeah, exactly. You know what I mean? I just filled up your phone with Chewbacca impressions. Yeah, exactly. Will you marry me? Will you marry me? Yeah. Will you tolerate me anymore?

Yeah, exactly. Because I'm like this. The one I liked the best was this dog who dug a hole in the backyard and then fell asleep in the hole sitting up. Nice. That's very cute. I love them. Chickens do yeah it's awesome okay i believe you also i just moved around in my chair and made a fart noise okay we just need to get that out of the way it covered my noise that i made so yeah because i was actually fart running over here. So I was like,

Oh, Tessa's hanging. The other thing that's going on with me is, uh, so my daughters and I in the car, we always play a game

if we pass Granville street, uh, cause Granville street is a, uh, it's like how you get from the airport to

downtown. Yeah. And we used to, anytime we were stopped at Granville street, we would count taxi cabs. And our record at one red light was 13, 13 passed by once. And then the pandemic hit a lot of less people flying.

Yeah. And also Uber arrived at the same time, a lot fewer taxis. Yeah. And also Uber arrived at the same time. A lot fewer taxis. Yeah. And so now we play a game where we bet if there's going to be more taxis or Teslas. Oh. Whoa. TRT.

Yeah. Dynamite. What are your findings? I'm fascinated. Most days or most times that we go past Granville Street, Teslas win. Okay. Usually it's not a blowout, but Tesla's usually beat taxis like, you know,

six to five. Today though. That's like 2020 competing with like 1990. Do you know what I mean? It feels like it's battle of the eras. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, I interrupted. 2020 competing with 60 Minutes.

Yes. Or whatever else is on on Friday nights at 10. Yeah. 60 Minutes is on Sunday, isn't it? 60 Minutes is Sunday, but 2020 was Friday night. It was after TGIF. What else would the other channels be showing? On Fridays?

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. CBS would probably. Wrestling, late night wrestling. Were there reruns? Was it like sitcom reruns on Friday night? No. be showing on fridays yeah i don't know cbs wrestling late night wrestling some were there reruns like was it like sitcom reruns on friday night no that late a lot of them would be at going into yeah at 10 o'clock it would be like maybe like you know uh dramedy picket fences yeah yeah

oh i was like like ed the bowling alley lawyer maybe yeah that might have been a friday i watched it that was t Tuesday at eight. Oh, really? Was it a half hour? No, it was an hour. Okay.

Yeah. Before Becker. Okay. Yeah. Nice lead into Becker. Nice. Well, was Becker on NBC as well?

CBS, I think. Okay. So you, but you know, with Canadian networks, we'll just grab and pick and choose whatever they can get it's a buffet

fun thing that one of the past guests on the show has done on YouTube Aaron Reid performed an

hours long dance to the theme song for Becker yeah how I lost my mind and family listening to the Becker dancing to the Becker theme

yeah it's so good it's a classic and have you watched the whole thing or did you skip through it I watched the whole thing I watched the whole thing or did you skip through it? I watched the whole thing. I watched the whole thing, yeah. I put it on the background

but I didn't just like sit there and watch it. There's a movie that's an hour long for you to watch every night. That's true. Every night. Yeah, I've been looking

to become obsessed with something. With my friend. You can watch, there are movies that are like an hour and ten that aren't very good but that they like,

that was the most they could get out of the conceit so yeah look for something bad yeah little mermaid 2 the original cat people i think is like an hour long it's fun okay yeah okay i like that movie host a few years ago the the zoom horror movie that was a really short one i didn't know i didn't know about it now you do uh but today i just wanted to give an update today taxis beat teslas 11 to 2 whoa total blowout knock them down wow yeah let's hear it for 1990 yay wins again haha the tv is gonna be two colors when you turn it off i don't know that i remember that really yeah i was fascinated by it because i was like i turned it off and then would be like okay it's off but it had there was

still farther to go yeah because it wasn't it wasn't black it was just off but how long how long would it stay that way uh it would fade like incrementally over time between the off black and the black from what i remember like but keep in mind i was a child over over minutes over like how long would it take to fade seconds to a kid minutes like i would try to catch it changing but it felt incremental maybe i'm inventing did you ever like stick your head really close to the screen and you could see the three colors yes no i was. Oh, is it the best? Yeah, man. Everything was made of three colors. Yeah.

Oh, that rules. I remember seeing, I don't know if it was a video or my real life, unfortunately, but like how, how, um,

colored photos are printed and where they do like a red pass and I really, I loved that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That really like did something to my brain that I like. I did a, when I was in broadcasting.

Yeah. When I was in broadcasting school, we did, I had to take a class called theory of color television. It was all about the like lines of scanning. And then like, I think it was line 55 was where they put the closed captioning information. And then it,

I did pretty well in the class. Like a lot of kids were like, or kids, we were adults, but we're like, I hate that we have to take this class. And I was like, me too. It wasn't easy for me, but it was the one thing that felt like school at broadcasting school where you had to study. And it was the history of color television? Theory of color television theory of

color television i love that and how it went from uh black and white and then the transmitting that to color and how were they going to do it they had to interlace the lines can they pull it off yeah this feels like a james l brooks movie i would like maybe i'm just thinking broadcast news but i'm like this do you know what I mean? Yeah. But then like everything went HD and I don't know anything anymore. Like I don't think anything I learned is valid anymore. The other thing I wanted to come back to is this guitar right here. Yeah.

Do you know what color it is? Yellow? Yeah. But it's TV yellow. And this is the thing I just learned today. Oh. Because musicians on black and white TV would sometimes have white guitars and they were too bright. So they started painting them this color

so that they would... Whoa. Do you want to know the fact I know? Okay. That the rain and singing in the rain was like filled with milk. Okay. Piss and jizz.

Yeah, filled with milk so you could see it more on camera. Oh, wow. It was thicker. Filled with milk so you could see it more on camera. Oh, wow. Because it's thicker. Filled with milk. I have to leave. You're making fun of my fact. Somebody posted a picture of what the Addams Family, the TV show, what the colors were in real life.

And they were like all pastel, like pinks and greens. Oh, really? Yeah, because otherwise it would just blend to the background. Wow. Yeah. I love the lighting on that old Addams Family. Like how, oh, if you watch the new ones made in like 1990. Okay.

Angelica Houston. This is new to me. But the way they lit her, like the way it's so identical. She like always has, I don't know, like some tinfoil under her chin or something that the light just makes her glow. I feel like. She glows, man. Those movies weren't taken very seriously because they were for kids. But I think they really stand up.

Yeah. Actually, there's a great under 90 minutes flick. The first Addams Family, I think. Yeah. It was like. It's perfect. I just watched part of it a couple weeks ago Where Wednesday's at camp And uh

She's like They've got like The camp counselors On a spit Isn't that part two? Yeah Part two Yeah

Oh yeah With Joan Crawford Yes Goddess Yeah Lots of goddesses in that Yeah Joan Crawford

Angelica Houston Christina Ricci Carol Kane Oh yeah It's Fester's. Fester's girl. Did you hear the Adams family started What Uncle Fester Fired It? Oh, that's been disproven in court.

Is that true? That's one of the IQ questions, though. Oh, really? True or false? True or false. Graham, what's going on with you? Well, you may know it's that time of year when people bring out their baseball bats

and play baseball. Wah! Oh, I also, my Instagram algorithm now is all just like people mad at umpires. It's all umpires missing calls

and throwing people out of games. You've got to get Alicia sending you some of those videos. Yeah. Get her on that track. Yeah.

Yeah. I went and saw the Vancouver Canadians baseball team. Nice. And it's fun. It's the first time of the year. And it's just so exciting because you're like, oh, it's back. You know, I can go eat a bunch of stuff and just like sit there and watch. And, you know, like all the baseball things that you just like that that goes away and then it goes back what's the stuff you eat uh this time around i

ate a veggie dog and then another veggie dog because the first one's kind of cold and then i ate some popcorn delish graham i i hate to take any of your steam. Thunder? Steal your thunder. I hate to steam your exercise clothes. I also went to a baseball game. No, you're taking my thunder. Put it back.

Give it to me. And here's what I ate. Hot dog? Yeah. Pretzel. Oh, nice. Frozen lemonade. Three beers.

Oh, yeah. I had beers as well. Can you get that all watching the Canadians? Yeah. All that and more on A&W promotional days you can get a float.

Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. I didn't know they had such an equipped canteen. Oh, you gotta go. Yeah, you gotta go on? No, I haven't. Oh, it's the

wait until dog days because that's where everybody brings their dog. Oh, I thought this week got hot dogs. No. Every day is a hot dog day. Exactly. No. Every day is a hot dog day. Exactly.

You alive? It's a hot dog day. You're watching the Canadians. I feel like we maybe missed dog day already. No, I thought it was in August. When do they, like, what do the dogs do? They hang out. Yeah, you're allowed.

Are they ever like let go? No, the audience, like as a member of the, like the crowd can bring their dog. Right, right. But they're never, like there's never a time where it's like, now all the dogs run in the field or anything like that. No, we let the dogs ruin the field. Yeah, now they all kiss and fuck or whatever. And they let off fireworks and freak the dogs out. They all run into the corn.

I assume they're playing a field of dreams. So it's not, right, right, right. So you can bring your dog. It sits with you in the stand. Yeah. Okay. It's a little bit of that hot dog that you bought. Like a little treat.

Do you have a dog, Graham? No. Okay. I live in a building that does not allow that. God damn. And he's got allergies that do not allow. That's right. And so maybe someday, science.

What would, if you, what would it take for you like would you be willing to take like a daily dog pill like a Benadryl but only if you give it to me like you would a dog put it in a piece of cheese

yeah you lift your little tongue or would you like an IUD that you put in? In my uterus? Yeah, in your uterine dog. So, Graham, do you want an IUD? Yeah.

Yeah. I have a DUI, so why not complete the set? Anyways, if you've never been to a Vancouver Canadiens game, one of the things they do kind of in the middle of the game is they have. Want me to show you a thunder? No. Shush. Called the sushi race. Oh, I've heard about this.

Yes. And it's a bunch of mascots that are dressed up. There's chopsticks. The two separate chopsticks. Two separate chopsticks. Which are the worst. Yeah. They're always sitting behind.

And they don't resemble chopsticks that much. Can they move their legs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They look like French fries basically. Yeah, so there's those that hit soy sauce.

I always like soy sauce's costume. There was a... A roll. A roll. Are these homemade costumes? No, no. These are like mascot costumes.

Yeah, because they whip them out every day. Every game. Yeah. And then wasabi. and then is that it? Is that all? That might be it. So I was watching.

Let me just check my, I have a bunch of pictures of them. Okay, wasabi, soy sauce, two chopsticks. And a roll. And a roll. Yeah. Okay. But somebody put it to me that they thought that no matter what, Wasabi always won. That it was predetermined. I was like, no, I think they do actually run and whoever runs the fastest does win.

But then I was like, I don't know, maybe it is like pro wrestling. It's all predetermined that Wasabi is going to win. I think I've heard that Wasabi cheats. Yeah, and I've heard Wasabi is like the heel. Have we all just been talking to Ryan Beal? Yeah. Wasabi cheats. Oh. Yeah, and I've heard wasabi's like the heel. Mm-hmm. So is there. Have we all just been talking to Ryan Beal? Yeah. Who sat two rows behind me at the game I went to.

He was also at the game I went to. Loves it. Yeah. I texted him. Loves to gossip about a mascot, apparently. I texted him, because he was two rows behind me, I texted him, what's it like in the nosebleed? Nice. Did he respond?

Ha ha. Awesome. Right on. I'm paying attention to the sushi race. I got things to do. Are there dynamics between the different mascots? Like, do they have a kind of story? Are they family?

Yeah, see, I don't know. I don't know. I like that. Yeah, like they're all related. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, like the mom, the. I like that. Yeah, like they're all related. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, like the mom, the dad, the kid. Yeah. The mother, the father.

And the chopsticks are kind of like. With hobby and chop. The ghost, the priest. Yeah. I'm now trying to figure out if the McDonald's characters are related. Like the McDonald's. Like Grimace and the Burger King. No, I think the mayor and the sheriff are both hamburger heads,

so I think they're related. Okay, yeah, they're like husband and wife. I'm watching my video of the race right now, and there are two roles. Two roles, okay, two roles. Okay, different kinds? Yeah, one is circular and one is square. But I think the one that I saw, Wasabi did rolls. Okay. Different kinds? Yeah, one is circular and one is square. But I think the one that I saw, wasabi did win.

Proving the theory. Yeah, I mean. I'm going to go. Who did wasabi win you earlier? It was a tie. I think wasabi and one of the chopsticks maybe won. Really? Chopsticks?

The ones you said suck so much. I just say they suck in terms of looking like chopsticks. They look like blocks of cheese. Yeah. Oh, right. I much. Yeah. I just say they suck in terms of looking like chopsticks. They look like kind of like blocks of cheese. Yeah. Oh, right. I said French fries. Yeah, French fries. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, I guess that's a hard, like, how do you distinguish it? It could just look like any stick. Yeah. Yeah. Or cheese, a fry. Well, you should have two people in the mascot costumes and then the costumes crossing each other. And then running, like, together. Yes.

That'd be nice. That'd be nice just for office theme building. Yeah. Yes. I feel like I ate ramen today for lunch with some dumplings inside, and I used chopsticks. I'm still not very good at chopsticks.

No? I think at age 12, I reached my peak chopstick ability and i haven't improved since i've been i've really improved i've been eating a lot of foods with a chopstick up to and including like rice and like little things that you have to pick up oh that's nice oh i can see your technique even in the gesture yeah yeah i'm like yeah this guy knows you kind of balance it between the stick. Yeah, my technique is more like, I got a bare hand.

It's doing a Mr. Bean-esque. And then if you stab the dumpling. What would Mr. Bean do with chopsticks? Oh, God. It would be insane. Really picturing him serving Teddy. Like, oh, Teddy. Giving him the chopsticks.

Good Mr. Bean voice, by the way. Thank you. I can't do anything else. He doesn't say a lot. No. Yeah. Yeah. But it's good. I think it's just Teddy that I can say. I'll give you some of the dialogue.

I'm okay. I have it all written down. He does. On a spreadsheet. I really do. Grunts. He does. On a spreadsheet. I really do. Grunts, mumbles. Yeah, it's as good a time as any to tell people if you're not a member of Maximum Fun, if you want to become one, we do a podcast called Being There, Done That. Oh, really?

All about Mr. Bean. Yeah. Oh, my God. We do. Here, have a sticker. Yeah, have a sticker. What's your favorite episode? Hmm.

Well, we're only through 12 of the 14. The early ones are my favorite. Yeah. I love the one where he's changing his clothes at the beach. Yeah. That's episode one, I think. I was like screaming at my boyfriend. I was like, he is a genius.

I think he was like, okay. Oh, thank you. I got some swag. But I just think it's so, he's so funny. He's so funny. Yeah. Have you seen the thing that he did where he mimes the drum set? Not Mr. Beanborough and Atkinson? No, I've had it sent to me.

Me too. It's pretty phenomenal. Like, cause you do, he's hitting, like, he doesn't, like, go crazy or something where he's not hitting anything. He's doing all the individual drums. And they speed up and get crazier and crazier. And he can keep up with it. Like, he looks like he's not hitting anything. He's doing all the individual drums. And if they speed up and get crazier and crazier, and he can keep up with it.

Like, he looks like he's actually keeping time. And, yeah, the guy's a genius. He's good. Yeah, you know, he's a genius. He can get it. Yeah. Rowan Atkinson can get it, absolutely. And I think he does.

I don't know why I think that. He's got really fancy cars. Yeah. He's a car collector. Yeah, he's got a very fancy little mini that he drives sometimes, uh, with, uh,

a chair on the roof. Yeah. He came out the press and said that he doesn't, uh, he doesn't think buying a electric car is for the bean news segment. Oh, sorry. Okay.

Yeah. The show. Well, you're going to have to become a member at maximum.org. If you want to hear the continuation of that. Yeah. Um, subscribing right now do we want to move on to some business yes all right that sound means it's business yeah we're down to business we don't we are we are a big business

and we are a big business i don't think that's how that works what uh did you put a comma in there we're a big business yeah we're big business so you're talking to business yes and we're a big i don't know dave okay uh we have a jumbotron message uh this one is for something called the impression that i give uh listen to the number one impersonation podcast oh impersonation podcast oh the impression that i give available on all fine podcast providers wow each week on the impression that i give i do an impersonation one lucky winner who correctly guesses the impression i do by emailing in their guest to impression i give at gmail.com will win five whole american dollars as well as a nice postcard sometimes

there are fun little segments episodes are typically under 10 minutes i could listen to six in the hour i'm awake uh the episodes are released on Fridays and submissions are due on Wednesdays. Oh, man. Some past impressions include Ace Ventura. Love it. Forrest Gump. Oh, you don't love it? No, but I was jumping in.

Okay. Jeff Probst. Yeah, Jeff Probst. And Anne Ramsey. I don't know who Anne Ramsey is. You'd know her if you saw her. Is she distinctive Dawkins now? I don't know who Ann Ramsey is. You'd know her if you saw her. Is she distinctive talking style? I don't know, man.

But, so that is, listen to the podcast, The Impression I Give. We've already done some good impressions today. And I, yeah, you did a spot on George Clooney, wasn't it? Yeah, and she did a Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean, yeah. But yeah, that sounds amazing. I'm going to listen to it because it sounds like a great premise. Anything if it was a podcast with impressions, I think is a really good idea.

Wait, is it Ann Ramsey? Hmm. There's two actresses named Ann Ramsey. One is from the Goonies and the Throw Mama from the Train. And the other is this lady. Oh, from Mad About You. Yeah. Yeah, the sister. Hmm. and throw mama from the train and the other is this lady oh from mad about you yeah yeah the sister hmm uh well have to

listen and see which which one yeah he's doing um yeah uh if you want to send a jumbotron to somebody uh go to jumbotron at maximum fun dot maximum fun dot org slash jumbotron go to jumbotron at MaximumFun.org. No, go to MaximumFun.org.

Jumbotron. Slash Jumbotron. Go to Jumbotron. Let's go to Jumbotron. My mother trying to send me to a website. Should we get back to the show? Yeah. All right.

All right, class. Tomorrow's exam will cover the science of perfect pitch, the history of pride flags, and speed running video games. Any questions? Ah, yes, you in the back. Oh, what is this? It's the podcast. Let's learn everything. Where we learn about science and a bit of everything else. My name's Tom. I studied cognitive and computer science, but I'll also be your teacher for intermediate emojis. My name's Caroline and I did my master's in biodiversity conservation and I'll be teaching

you intro to things the British Museum stole. My name's Ella. I did a master's in biodiversity conservation, and I'll be teaching you intro to things the British Museum stole. My name's Ella. I did a PhD in stem cell biology. So obviously I'll be teaching you the history of fan fiction. Class meets every other Thursday on Maximum Fun. So do I still get credit for this? No. Obviously not.

No. It's a podcast. Hey, let us guess. You love books, but wish you had more time to read. Or maybe you used to read a lot, but life has gotten in the way. Kids, grad school, you name it. Maybe you don't know where to start and bookish social media is overwhelming. How do people on TikTok read so many books?

Oh my God, I don't know. And maybe you've been reading the same book for six months and now it's permanently attached to your bedside table. Maybe you don't even know what you like to read anymore. We're Reading Glasses, and don't worry, we got you. We'll get you back into reading and help you enjoy books again. Reading Glasses, every week on Maximum Fun. Overheard. Time for Overheard. Time for Overheards.

When you hear them, mark them down, bring them on in. We always like to start with the guests. Uh-oh. Okay. Uh-oh. So I was at a hot dog stand. I was at a hot dog. That's the song I was singing while i was at the hot dog stand and there was a woman in front of me who ordered just a super plain hot dog yeah like she was like don't put anything on

it just hot dog on a bun and then as it was being handed to her like eyes wide all the hope and earnestness in her heart she said do you think I'll like it to whom the hot dog stand person did he respond or she I didn't hear it yeah I can't operate

on this hot dog the hot dog stand operator is a woman a strong beautiful woman I made these hot dogs out of my son

yes and I think you will enjoy it. That's what they said. Do you think I'll enjoy it? I don't know. You should have put some toppings on it, lady. Exactly. I guess, I don't know.

You're the one that wanted it that way. Do you like the taste of nothing? I'd be like, take a bite and let's see. Yeah. If you don't, let's put some condiment on it. It's so cute to me because I'm like, you will know in one second. But she wanted to know what to look forward to

or not. Did the guy say yes? I really didn't. Do you think I'll burn my mouth? Well, you might. You know, hold it in your hand

for a couple seconds. Let it all steam off. Yeah. Buying a thing and then being like, do you think I should eat this thing? Do you think

I should use this thing I bought? Yeah. It's very sweet. Yeah. I like her. I like her too. Yeah. I want her to be my friend, mother, and doctor. think i should use this thing i bought yeah it's very sweet yeah i like her i like her too yeah

i'm going to be my friend mother and doctor dave do you have an overheard no uh i have i'm gonna i hate to do it to you here we go haven't overdreamt oh wow we're gonna have one of these in a long time i didn't know this was legal is this a classic dave, this is a weird one. Classically, Dave will have a boring dream, like trying to figure out a garage door opener. Fix a garage door. With some friends?

Some men. I don't think we were friends. There's a lot of... A lot of stuff was a lot more than friends with these guys. But we've got to get the garage door closed first. And, of course, my most famous boring dream. I bet you're... That my travel agent was retiring.

I had a dream once I found a toothbrush in a cupboard, and that was the whole dream. Like from the dentist, like a package new toothbrush. And you're just like, huh. Yeah, and then I woke up did you go over to the cupboard and i went over to i know i went over to my toothbrush and threw it out because i thought i had an extra in the cupboard and i opened the cupboard i was like what a boring dream and now i gotta finish my toothbrush out of the trash and put in my mouth in real life

you threw it away yeah wow that's a that stuck with you yeah um so this is what made this one weird was because it was like a little bit it was too real i so i was lying in bed in real life before i fell asleep i was in bed with my dog and he was like had his he was like between my legs with his head resting on my thigh. And, uh, then I, uh, and that was just what was going on. And then also I fell asleep and I had a dream that he was in that exact same position. I've never had a dream that I was like asleep. Yeah. I've never had a dream that I'm in bed.

Uh, but, uh, it's, but but in my dream there was like this loud noise coming from outside and i was like what i was like a little bit scared i'm like this hour what's that weird noise and then i realized it was a person's voice and they were it was just someone outside and uh uh then my dog turned to me and he said ah just a noisy kid it's just a noisy kid yeah and this is the dog saying this yeah dog said that but his mouth wasn't moving like a cartoon dog because he can he had to be like he's imagining himself in like a little ventriloquist that's what made it realistic yeah that and were were you like, yeah, my dog talks? Or you were like, yeah, I know.

I know you talk. Or did you have any reaction to your dog? Well, I think I woke up pretty soon afterwards and I was like, oh, I think I was projecting my thoughts into the dog's voice. Yeah. And then you looked at your dog real intense, like, if you can talk, do it right now. It was very weird because I then woke up and the dog wasn't there. He was next to me.

He was like between Abby and me. Oh, that is weird. That's how you knew it was a dream. That's how I knew that this was two different timelines. Yes. Yeah. That's true. It's making noise.

Yeah, two different timelines. It was a noisy kid, but there was that noise that was happening in the alleyway wasn't really coming from anywhere. Was it not quite happening either? Or it really was real? that was happening in the alleyway wasn't really coming from anywhere was it not quite happening either or it really was real no it wasn't the dream god this sucks no i like it i just want to get it all straight it's reminding me of like that episode of the simpsons where homer's thinking back to the party and what it was like but he had been drunk and there's like an octopus like i'm like it, yeah. And the dog took off his top hat and said, hi, sir. It's a noisy kid. Yeah.

Wow. I don't think I've ever had a dream of an animal talking. It's very weird. I've never had a flying dream. That's next, I guess. Yeah. And the flying, I've had the falling, had many of the school dreams. Oh yeah.

Many, many of those. Any, any classic one? Uh, one, you know, it it's grade 12 it's at the end of the year i don't have enough credits to graduate oh oh devastating more credit yeah yeah exactly no no credits and then also one where i just kept uh being held back a grade like i was ready to graduate they're like you'll have to do grade 12 again and again and again. My school dream is like, you didn't do your homework. Oh, yeah. You didn't do it.

And then you wake up and you're like, oh, I haven't gone to school for decades. It's the best. You're still having that one. Yeah. That didn't do your homework. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

There's a great gag in Top Secret where Val Kilmer, he's running around the school and they're like, you're late for the test. You can't take the test. And then you see him in real life and he's being whipped. And he's like, oh, man. Do you have an overheard, Graham? I do. Mine comes from a courtesy of a couple of gals walking out of a Wendy's.

My kind of gal. Yeah. A couple of Wendy's. Yeah. Exactly. A couple of gals walking out of a Wendy's. My kind of gals. Yeah, a couple of Wendy's. Yeah, exactly. A couple of Wendy's. And one of them said to the other, you know, I've been thinking a lot about shagging recently. Shagging?

Yeah. Shagging? Are they British? Oh, yeah. No British accent at all. How approximate ages? Probably like 20, 21. Really?

There's new shagadelics. Yeah. There's shagadelics on the scene. That's cool. I want to, if there isn't, I want to say it. Get into it. Yeah, okay. I've been thinking about shagging recently.

I don't know who I would say it to. Yeah. Have you had any shag life? Have you had any shag dreams? Have you been shagging recently? Honey, we need to talk about our shag life. Somebody's like, I'm pregnant. Congratulations, you were shagging.

I'm shagging. Yeah, I'm pregnant from shagging. Is that when people congratulate pregnant women? It's because, oh, because you got shags. What a bit's for. Yeah. I guess you could yell it at your dog. You could be like, hey, don't shag.

Don't shag. Yeah. Don't shag. Stop shagging. Stop shag like, hey, don't shag. Don't shag. Yeah. Don't shag. Stop shagging. Stop shagging. Yeah. Don't shag my leg and tell me it's raining. It's a bit.

It's a bit less charming without the British, without Austin Powers. Yeah. Although. How charming is Austin Powers? Really? Like he, like ultimate charmster. Yeah. He like, Beyonce fell in love with him. Really? Yeah. Like, he, like, ultimate charm star. Yeah,

he like, Beyonce fell in love with him. Uh, who? Beyonce. I don't think Beyonce fell in love with him. Yeah, the third film.

Yeah. I feel like, I don't think it was Beyonce. I think it was Foxy Cleopatra. No, it wasn't. Yes, her name in the movie wasn't Beyonce. No,

the Beyonce, the real life person fell in love with Austin Powers, the fictional character. Um, and, and have you heard about 9-11? And what about, um, boy, I wish I could remember any, the Beyonce, the real life person fell in with Austin Powers, the fictional character. And have you heard about 9-11? And what about, boy, I wish I could remember any of the other Powers girls' names. Veronica Corningstone?

Oh, yeah. And Heather, or no, Heather Graham. Heather Graham is. A Lot of Vagina? No, A Lot of Vagina was. Was in the first one. Was in the first one, yeah. Yeah, Heather Graham's was, I don't remember.

Stick, get in me. Yeah, it was like Muffabella. There was a James Bond girl name I just heard recently, and I was like, oh, I get that now. Oh, was it Denise Richards? Well, she was Christmasmas something wasn't she oh yeah maybe these are hard to come up with yeah well pussy galore is like the ultimate yeah pussy galore is good there was holly goodhead um but then i it's so fun like those are dirtier than the austin powers one yeah um the spy who sh. Pardon me. Oh, it's based on The Spy Who Loved Me. Felicity Shagwell.

Shagwell. Oh, hell yeah. The James Bond girl I was thinking of was, what is it, Jenny Fleck? Jenny Flex? Jenny Flex. Jenny Flex. Okay. Which is, the Jenny Fleck means to get on your knees. Right, right, right. That's a couple steps, though. Okay. Which is, the genuflect means to get on your knees. Right, right, right. That's a couple steps, though.

Yeah. I'm looking up Denise Richards. Okay. Have you guys ever heard the band The Shags? Yeah. Yeah. It's like a parent. What is it?

The worst album ever recorded or something like that? I don't know. It's got a dubious distinction. This one, it's either the worst album ever or the worst band ever. Oh, no. It's a girl group that i think are all sisters and uh i've heard it it's i think it's great i have but i think it's like music snobs don't like it or something like that right but i mean that they're that's how they got to be snobs they don't like lots of stuff yeah exactly they don't like the shags i love the shag do youags. Did you figure out her name?

No, I really wanted to hear about the shags. Oh, it was Dr. Christmas Jones. Christmas Jones, wow. And then at the end, when they're shagging, he says, I thought Christmas only comes once a year. That's good. So the whole thing was for that. Yeah, for him to give her more than one.

And that was what Awk was. Rogering. What Awk was Dr. Jones was all about. Oh, yeah. Wake up now! Now we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the world. If you want to send one in, send it in to spy at maximumfun.org

Sorry, I... You did it right. I just assumed it was wrong. Send it to Jumbotron. at maximumfun.org. Sorry. You did it right. I just assumed it was wrong. Send it to Jumbotron. Send it to Jumbotron. I work at a yarn store in Toronto. Woo.

Yeah. Oh, I think I know the one. Yarn Verheer. Probably. Right? You're wearing quite a yarny sweater today. Yeah. Yarny sweater's the worst Bond girl. Yarny sweater. I thought font girl. Yarny sweater.

I thought sweater's only unraveled when you pulled on the... He's like getting sexy with her and he's like, I'm going to put on another layer. Oh, come on. Gross.

Yeah, that's me. This is from Allison in Toronto. I work at a yarn store and overheard two ladies having the following exchange as they were leaving the store. Lady one, can't wait to catch up about your over sex,

the lifestyle. You have all the sex, but no love. And I have all the love, but no sex lady too. I know we have opposite problems. I'm sure there's a way to even it out. And lady one says we should have sex with each other.

What were they like trying? Were they just, it was just like a live read of a, and just like that. Yeah. I don't know. Like, uh, we're going to maybe give something a try. They're going to, you know, investigate. That's great.

But that's going to make things too complicated because the one one is still just going to have sex and not love. Yeah, that's true. That's, that's the thing she signed up for. Unless they fall in love. I think that's how. That's the thing she signed up for. Unless they fall in love. I think that's how a rom-com is, right? Like, the one character has the quality. Like, one character's like, she's so messy.

Or am I thinking of the odd couple? But it's like, you know, the other one has the quality that the one character doesn't have. Yeah, so clean one, messy one. Yeah. Big one, little one. Yeah, have. Yeah, so clean one, messy one. Yeah. Big one, little one. Yeah, twins. Classic rom-com.

Might be a rom-com. Brom-com? Yeah, it's a brom-com. But these ladies, they're making it happen. That's awesome. They're making sex with each other. Yeah, if they want to. Yeah. Who am I? I'm just a yarn store employee. Like, I got anything

to say about it. Are you guys going to wear something yarn while you do it? Are you going to tie her up with yarn? I'll either buy you some fucking yarn

or get out, alright? This ain't a fucking sex store. Yeah. Are you going to wear something yarn while you do? Going to wear something yarn?

If not, get out. yeah um this one comes from sam in chicago i was out to eat with a large group in chicago by the way the best fish restaurant in chicago delicious hey welcome to sam in chicago i'm walking here i'm ferris bueller over here uh Bunch of different individual conversations happening. The people next to me were having a conversation about the new Zelda game. Something I haven't played, so I was mostly talking to the other people about other

things, but every so often, I got an amazing out-of-context sentence. My two favorites were, so then I teleport the horse, and the fish was taped to the sword. So I don't. I'm so delighted that there's tape in the Zelda universe. And it could be taped to the sword.

Yeah. I don't know anything about it. We're talking scotch. We're talking duck. Yeah. What is Link's up to over there? Is that his name? Link.

Yep. Link. You got it. You got it. You're so close. He's cool. That guy really teleports the horse. Yeah.

So to speak? Do you think he's hot? Yeah, yeah. This guy freaking teleports the horse, if you know what I mean. They should just have sex together. He's hot. Yeah. He's so hot.

Clooney, he really teleports the horse. This last one comes from Charles K. in Seattle. Driving my 13-year-old son and a friend home for school. From the backseat. Oh, dude. See that brunch place? Patty's Eggnest? They go hard, bro.

I love the idea of a couple teenagers teenagers with an opinion on a brunch. Yeah, me too. Yeah, they're going to turn out great. Yeah, I don't think I ever went to brunch as a teen, but I would have loved it. And do you think they meant the eggs? They make a hard boiled egg. You cannot get anything runny there. They go hard.

They go hard. Yeah, good luck with your sunny sides. Even the toast. Toast is rock hard. They go hard. Yeah. Good luck with your sunny sides. Even the toast. Toast is rock hard. And who you should meet, Patty. You're going to be in a hard case. Yeah.

In addition to overhears that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. Quick panicking as I have to get some stuff ready. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1. Like these people have. ready. If you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh, SpyPod 1. Like these people have. Dave and Graham and a guest, I guess. I just had it overseen on a highway in Texas. Two pickup trucks

in front of me rolled down their, one of them rolled down the driver's side window, and the other one rolled down their, one of them rolled down the driver's side window and the other one rolled down the passenger side window and they were, they passed something from one car to the other.

We're going like 70 miles an hour and I got up closer because they did it again and I wanted to see what they were passing back and forth. It was a pack of cigarettes. No freaking way. No freaking way.

That's amazing. Bye. That is... That's amazing. That is That's like Mad Max Fury Road. Yeah. Or like what is it? I thought it was Mad Max Fury Road. They did a

guy playing a guitar on the hood in a zebra outfit. There was isn't that happening like Footloose? Yeah. They're like isn't that happening in like Footloose? Yeah. They're like trying to play some chicken. Between two cars.

Yeah. Did he say 70 miles per hour? Yeah. Wow. Those guys are like the fucking coolest guys. Yeah. I feel like,

I'm like, they must have had something anchoring the pack of smoke. Like, that's paper you're throwing out the window. Yeah. Probably cigarettes.

The cigarettes were like heavy. Cigarettes themselves. Yeah. Steel. Maybe cigarettes were heavy. Cigarettes themselves, yeah. Steel. Maybe it was a whole carton. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I guess you have to get really close to see that it was cigarettes. Or is a carton of smokes... Never mind.

And take it again? Is it like... Because that's like prison currency. But as the price goes up outside of prison, does it... How is... Like, do you think that people get more per cigarette than they used to get? Maybe. More per cigarette than they used to get?

More tobacco? No, more like, you can trade cigarettes for like, I don't know, Gatorade. I don't know. A lot of vagina. You're talking about in prison. In prison. Yeah. I don't know.

I like that you think it's Gatorade that they're trading for. I don't know. Someone wants Gatorade. Yeah, I have a book. Book with a gun carved into it. Yeah. Out of jail you go. Graham's so excited to get his gun in jail.

Jail gun. Yeah, my jail gun. Graham, do you think if you'd stayed in alberta you'd be a gun guy are you from alberta i am oh cool yeah um i don't know you know his nickname the squirt in alberta yeah you knew that right no yeah water guns yeah no i've shot a gun very bad at it um it's like when people make it look really easy in movies they really have control of that thing because I could not do it for a second but I don't know maybe it would become a gun guy other lives lived

next phone call hey Dave and Graham long time listener first time caller sitting in a bar outside Toronto. Just overheard. Nothing gave me quite the sense of power as crop dusting those motherfuckers. Anyway,

off I go. But then he doesn't hang up his phone is the thing. Oh, shit. So hold on. Hi. I do. You may.

Oh my god. I tried to call into my favorite comedy podcast about overheard. I don't know if it went through. I think my phone has... about overheard. I don't know if it went through. I think my phone has... And then it ended. And then on this whole time, oh, shit! You got overheard, bitch!

Yeah! Wow! I got overheard. Also, it's just like, man, they could have bad-mouthed us so bad. Yeah. Are you calling that stupid podcast again? With those two guys?

You idiot, you dumb idiot no oh now i know what we're getting next week that's so thrilling to like that's genuinely that's spy yeah that's what the spy is guys yeah that's um we do occasionally get butt dialed yeah and they're not i mean i don I don't, if, if something is four minutes long, if I can see, I get a four minute phone call. I just don't listen to it. Yeah. I, cause I don't even have time to watch 15 little videos.

Yeah. Little dog videos. You are a stressed out businessman. Yeah. Your travel agent is retiring. So I got to take a nap. There's some loud kids outside. And my dog's talking up a storm.

hirings i gotta take a there's some loud kids outside and my dog's talking up a storm um uh years and years ago um a comedian called another comedian butt dialed and then just carried on like a huge long he was just listening the whole conversation and it was like there was some juicy stuff oh yeah yeah like this person hated this person. Whoa, all the goss. Yeah. Who hates whom these days? Everybody loves... Raymond? Everybody loves...

Okay. Yeah. Don't make fun of him. He's only ever read it. If someone mispronounces a word, it's because they've only ever read it. Everybody loves Raymond. Here's your final phone call. Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests. Everybody loves Raymond. Here's your final phone call.

Hi, Dave Graham and possible guests. This is Alicia calling from Minneapolis with an overheard. Last week I was at Lowe's Home Improvement Store in the garden center when I overheard a man who looked like he was about in his 60s say into his phone, Hey, Siri, call Ball and Chain. No friggin' way. Rude. Rude! Rude! I'd love if it was just like his mom.

Wait, I wouldn't like that. One of the funniest things I think I've ever been witness to, I think, Dave, you were there as well, when Charlie Demers was trying to program in his wife's phone number, and he kept saying to Siri, I guess, Well, we were in the, it was in the early days of Syria. And I was like,

you know, you can like give people a nickname. Like you can say, I, I'm, I told my phone, Abby is my wife. And now anytime I say,

call my wife, it calls Abby. And he kept saying, Kara is my wife. And it kept coming back as Kara is my wife. And it kept coming back as, Karate is my life. And he just kept more and more frustrated. Yeah. Call my sensei to dial his wife.

Yeah, sensei, can you put me through? I tried for a while having having my contacts their nickname be or maybe yeah their nickname be an emoji that's a bit fun yeah that's about so i get some calls from a stack of pancakes do you know who it is when it comes through though yeah i've got a wrapped candy texting me all the time someone told me this was drug dealer behavior oh sure which i i don't know. I think you can be sober and just be high on emojis as your friend's name. Or you could be sober and be a drug dealer.

That's true, honestly. Respect. I saw a video of a girl on a date with a guy and she's waiting in the car because he has to go call his mother. So he steps out to call his mother. But I won't get the name right but in the video his phone is paired with his bluetooth so the screen shows who he's calling and it's like a woman's name like julie bj seven out of ten and this is real? It's purported to be real. Right, right.

It's documentary style. Seven out of ten. It's still pretty good. That's great, I think. You call that. Yeah. I think that's all right. You want to keep that relationship going.

You're not texting with this person. You're calling them. Yes, exactly. And that's the amount of people who couldn't figure out the doctor was a woman. That's right. Well, four out of ten to seven out of ten. Yeah, four out of ten's the amount of people who couldn't figure out the doctor was a woman. That's right. Well, 4 out of 10 to 7 out of 10. Yeah, 4 out of 10 to 7 out of 10. Well, that brings us to the end of this here podcast.

Tess. I'll miss you all so much. Thank you for being our guest. Thanks for being my host. You're very welcome. Do you have anything that you're plugging at the moment? Oh, I wrote on a video game that you can wishlist on Steam. I love this.

Which is a new sentence I'm trying to say in public. I wrote on a video game that you can wishlist on Steam. Yes. Oh, wow. What a sentence. Yeah. I wrote on a video game you can wishlist on Steam. It's called Times and Galaxy, and it's really fun.

It's really funny. It's an outer space game. You get to be a journalist on solving or reporting on space news. That's great. Very fun, very cute kind of Futurama

I'd say tonally. So wishlist that on Steam. We have anything we need to? We love Popeye. Oh my God, George Clooney's here. Um, we have anything we need to, um, we love. Oh my God. George Clooney's here. I'm all, Hey, I'm all, can I get someone that's spinning? Oh my God. He's in the room.

Uh, well, thank you again. And thank you everybody out there for listening to the show. If you spot George Clooney in the wild, just be cool, man. Just be cool. Don't embarrass yourself. He's very nice and cool. You remain cool, too. Yellow Clooney.

Let's see how that goes. You know? And join us here on the podcast next week for another edition of Stop Podcasting yourself.