Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 799 - Jen Kirkman

Episode Date: July 11, 2023

Comedian Jen Kirkman returns to talk Lenny Kravitz, reading in a restaurant, and nosebleeds.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 799 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark. With me as always is a man who's just so excited for that 800th episode. It's so close we could almost touch it. Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, do we have to do anything?

Yeah, well, I think the city will throw a parade in our honor and we'll just have to wave from a car. we'll throw a parade in our honor and we'll just have to wave from a car do you remember when we were doing our 500th episode and we hired a publicist and we got on to like we were in we were on the news yeah yeah uh they put us on the cover of the west ender uh newspaper and then it went out of business the next week i know we were like the last last of a generation um our guest today a returning guest uh hasn't been on for so long such a pleasure to have her here you can listen to her podcast the no fun podcast and she's here with us today it's jen kirkman everybody hi guys thanks so much for having me and i i have some advice on your 800th episode if you want it yes don't do anything special i'm a big podcast i listen to tons of podcasts and i don't give a fuck when there's um

you know a milestone episode like that um as i do a podcast myself and i i mean what am i gonna do i mean you you get hooked on what you like and then they roll out some different thing to celebrate the 800 and they do what you haven't been used to them doing the whole time and it's like thanks that's my least favorite episode now you know what i mean unless you just had a podcast yeah that happened unless you did like i don't know put in a five minute like retrospective but like don't do a best of you know don't do anything yeah don't bring back your worst guest and confront them live yeah that would be kind of actually might be good that would be kind of good well no we're doing that on 799

i just got that joke do you want to get to know us do get to know us jen we were just talking right before the podcast you are now back in new york you were living in la for how long 20 years 20 years and then it was just time time for a change time for something new time for something new you know well no i i had lived in new york in the late 90s, early 2000s. I moved to L.A. and always missed it. I always loved New York.

But it, you know, I needed, I don't know. I just needed to be in L.A. for a while. I needed to be far away from anything I ever knew. I wanted the weather. And then about 15 years in, I was like, I'm getting bored of this. Like, it's just, there's nothing wrong with L.A., but it was like i'm i'm getting bored of this like it's just there's nothing wrong with la but it was like i don't know i i just i was like i can't see any more sun i need weather i'm this is making me nuts and then oh yeah i got a job writing on the marvelous

mrs basil which um shoots and the production offices and writing offices are in new york so i'd say for the last like five or six years, I was living on both coasts, not in like a fancy way, but like I'd come out to work in New York and stay in various, you know, temporary housing. And then realized when I decided to take, you know, another job after that show ended with the same people, I was like, I clearly just don't live in LA anymore. Like I was only going back every so often and i'm like forget it you know um i thought i was gonna do like the bi-coastal lifestyle i got a little apartment in new york and i had my apartment in la but it it was very stressful you know like yeah it felt weird to have something

empty um and like i didn't go back enough and I just felt like that's something, I don't know, that's like, you want to be like really rich with like a staff and like own a home, you know? Yes. That's my home. In general, that is correct. Yeah.

Yes, I want that all. Yeah, I was just like rending to play, like it was weird. It just felt like something hanging over me. So I decided to move back to New York. My whole family lives in Massachusetts. Everyone's getting older. And I just thought,

and the pandemic really showed God, this is answer way longer than you want it. But the pandemic really showed me to the pandemic really showed me to that. Like I, if I needed to get somewhere without relying on an airplane before a vaccine, you know that I, I never went back to see my family my parents are elderly there's something nice about knowing the next pandemic or whatever

disaster you know i'm only a three-hour car ride away yeah yeah absolutely and did you was there a specific thing while you're in la that you missed about new york like yeah the pizza the vibe of this water and the bagels yeah um god this is such a cliche but i i'm just gonna say that energy um because in la uh if you're not like 25 and looking to like party, you really have nowhere to, there's nowhere to go. It's not a, it's like a daytime city. You won't go hiking with your friends, stuff like that. You're like, no one's going to the beach because it's too long of a drive. But like, it's, you know, you go out to dinner and stuff like that. But like everyone just gets settled and it becomes, come to my house.

No, come to my house no come to my house and you just end up like sitting in people's houses and and uh i felt like you know i'm i have like actual diagnosed adhd i'm very hyperactive but i need a lot of like also the opposite like crash down time and when i'm deciding to uh stay in bed for two days i call it bed quarters, like where I run my life from my bed. Nice. Yeah. And so if I'm doing that,

I need noise outside. I need to know if I go outside, things are going on. Something's happening. And when you're kind of a hermit sometimes in LA, there's no one around. It's quiet, it's peaceful, which is lovely. But I just felt like I could use a little more,

as weirdly as I get older, just a little more stimulation out there. I think being younger is harder and you want things to be easier and quieter and warmer and more space and cheaper. And then I think for me, as I get older, I don't need, for me, as I get older, um, I don't need as much space, but I need more stuff to do to keep young.

You know what I mean? Okay. Yeah. Um, Dave, did your, uh, your wife,

Abby just enter the room? Yes. Well, I, I knew it was happening because I, it's never happened. This is so unprofessional, but I heard the printer whirring and I was like, uh-oh.

One of my daughters is homesick from school. Oh, no. And I was like, I bet we're going to be doing some coloring. I bet there's some coloring sheets. Well, there's some drilling going on because, you know, there's never not construction. Yeah, New York, hey, watch where you're walking it with drilling and um it's it's like six i'm on the seventh floor of this building it's like six floors it's like on ground level but it's like ricocheting through the walls and i can hear it as though

it's right here and so i was wondering until you said no you know that it's your daughter for sure um i wonder if you heard my drilling but i guess not no you sound you sound dynamite um you said you have actual diagnosed adhd did you say that because a lot of people just flippantly say oh i'm so adhd i do because a lot of people will say oh me too or they'll say i wasn't really trying to preempt you guys from saying that but i was trying to preempt anyone listening who has it from thinking i'm using it as an adjective instead of like no no i i really have it and i've really realized like what kind of environments i thrive in and and don't um and so yeah so i really that's why i say it yeah is uh i know was it diagnosed later in life or have you known since you were younger? Because I have a couple of friends that were diagnosed with it just like quite later in life.

Yeah. Well, thank you for saying later in life five times. The emphasis on later. Jen, could you answer something? You know what? I'll talk to you later. There we go. know what i'll talk to you later there we go no i'm kidding um yeah so i'm i actually was diagnosed in my mid-30s but i wasn't oh so quite late in life no but i'm in my late 40s now and i didn't get truly diagnosed until now if that makes sense like yeah in my mid-30s i had some people um that know me pretty well noticed some odd ways that i not even behaved but stressed about things like it was like they noticed that i truly did not know how to prioritize like oh you have a uh this you know deadline for something you're writing and it's due tomorrow but also you feel like your apartment's messy and you want to clean it you know yeah and to me it's the same thing

um intellectually i know it's not but like you it's hard to choose to sit and do the right thing and it's not procrastination like you will feel physically uncomfortable that something's not procrastination. Like you will feel physically uncomfortable that something's not right. Yeah. But you'll never, I mean, I don't ever feel that particular thing. If I was like a deadline, I'm like, maybe I'll clean.

No, no, no. That doesn't sound like any fun. Maybe I'll just go. Yeah. It's, it's like,

it's just a, whatever, just weird things like that. And, and, and I guess I would sometimes not be able to focus on things, but anyway, I was seeing a psychiatrist anyway for,

I took antidepressants. had um you know medications and so i went and told him and i took the test and he's like yep you you got it big time but he didn't really you you aced it yeah i did so well you guys but he didn't really explain it either and i i was like going to this guy for 10 years we mainly focused on like anxiety and at the time i had a fear of flying and all this and so i said to him i don't really want to take stimulants because i didn't really understand that i don't know that they're not going to act like a stimulant if you need it anywho so he said oh sure plenty of people don't take them and then i was just like well you have adhd bye and then if we if we ever talked about it it was mainly he would be like we talk about like my focus at work in the writer's room and you know all the models of adhd are trying to figure out

what's happening this season give me the give me the tea girl i mean he was one of those guys weirdly enough that no matter what you said you did he'd act like things were going terribly and be like so you work on a show and then you get paid for that i'm like yeah it's a job but um it's so weird with la like if you're not directly working in show business it's you might as well be talking to people that live in like another planet like it's so weird talking to people that live in like another planet like it's so weird that the people that live in the la area that don't work in it still say the same things that like your nana from like iowa would say you know like and how do you make a living doing that um but anyway i just i let it go for a long time until i had plenty of time to sit around

and think during lockdown. And I realized something's not right. And I keep talking about things in therapy saying something's wrong with me. And I'm not trying to be like boohoo or I hate myself, but something's wrong. And I wasn't getting anywhere. And then finally, I just, I mean, thank God for stuff like this. I know it sometimes can seem like really annoying and, but, but like tick tock things and Instagram things where I saw all these examples of symptoms and learned about how women, older women present later in life.

Women, if you later in life, late, like about to die, like me, dry it up. And I was like, Oh my God.

I, I, and so I was still seeing the same psychiatrist, but I was like, dude, I really have ADHD. Like we never revisited. And he was like, oh my God. And so I was still seeing the same psychiatrist, but I was like, dude, I really have ADHD. Like we never revisited. And he's like, oh, I'm sorry. I thought you were handling it. I'm like, no, I've been in therapy

for like 19 different problems. It turns out it's this all one. I don't even think I've had anxiety. This is ADHD. I mean, it was amazing. I love that he was like, no, I thought you were already dealing with this. I figured you had a plan.

He's like, you never mentioned it. I'm like, well, weirdly, I didn't go like look up every symptom after you told me I had it. He was like, no, I thought you were already dealing with this. I figured you had a plan. He's like, you never mentioned it. I'm like, well, weirdly, I didn't go like look up every symptom after you told me I had it. I wasn't curious about it. And then I became curious. So anyway, it's, it's, um, why did I mention it again? Well, I don't know. You asked me, but yeah, later in life. And you, you, it's cool.

Cause every, it dawns on you that like, oh my God, all these things about me make sense. And then there's some grieving like, oh my God, if I'd had a handle on this sooner. And it's a lot of like, it's way more, even though it is a, you get to call yourself a neurotypical, it's like in the autism spectrum family, like we're all cousins here. It's not an emotional mood disorder, but it can cause from being outside of the norm and not understanding things people say and not being able to shut up and stuff like that. It can cause self-esteem problems, which then causes depression and then causes anxiety. So there's all these comorbidities that usually people go to work on and then never gets better because they're not looking at the thing. Yeah, yeah.

So it's very cool. I encourage anyone who thinks they might have it to realize that really the last thing it has to do with is not being able to focus. You can focus. You just don't focus on what you need to be focusing on. Right, yeah. And you would recommend people wait for some Instagram memes to...

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Get your friends out or I'll just start playing with it. Diagnose only from Instagram memes. Yeah. Get what the doctors say. Yeah. 100% do both things. You said you found stuff on TikTok.

Are you on TikTok? Do you TikTok? Are you a TikToker? No, it's funny that I said that. I said that as sort of like a catch-all for like short form content where somebody makes a video. I actually really did, to be quite honest, I just found it via a podcast that I really like called I Have ADHD. This woman who's a coach. And so I take coaching courses now now which is like um it's not therapy but it's been more helpful than therapy with adhd so she has a podcast and then you know

i follow her on instagram and then so i follow like adhd specialists and so i'll look at their content but but i do know nowadays that i have checked on adhd tiktok um since being diagnosed just for laughs just to find my people just to find yeah exactly because i like to see someone being like oh i put my coffee in the microwave to reheat it then forgot i was drinking it and found it three days later like that's funny to me you know but i i definitely didn't diagnose myself based on like the silly memes but it was more like experts on instagram but that's what your doctor hoped you were doing when he said like you were working this out right yeah yeah are you making content you know when i first got diagnosed there was no social media so maybe that's

why he was like listen you have it you can't do anything about it until they invent something like a social media. Yeah, yeah. Something like Vine, but more... Yeah, but with more staying power, yeah. Yes, yes. Man, when Vine disappeared, I... You disappeared? Yes, I really went into myself.

No, that was the first one that I was like, oh, I don't know about this one, and it disappeared. And I was like, oh, I'm vindicated. I didn't have to do it. I didn't this one and it disappeared and i was like oh i'm vindicated i didn't have to do it i didn't want to do it and then i didn't have to do it yeah yeah yeah yeah a good feeling just to be right is the best feeling but about something like that where you're you're right and it and and because to say sometimes i don't know if that's going to work you know you don't want to sound like the old fuddy duddy or the dumb person that doesn't realize, you know, technology is coming. But it's that's so satisfying.

I'm really envious of you. That same thing happened with my grandfather when he saw the Beatles on Ed Sullivan. He said, like, these guys are not going to last. His bold prediction. Probably the only bold prediction he ever made in his life. Well, you know, he's not wrong. They didn't last that long, to be honest. They did break up.

They didn't even go five more years, did they? Well, when he saw the one as Sullivan, yeah, probably about that. Yeah. Oh, so I guess he was right. Oh, well. They didn't last. They didn't last. Jen, who I guess he was right. Oh, well. They didn't last. They didn't last. Jen, who's your favorite Beatle?

John Lennon. I mean, I like the messy ones. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Deep. And he's like Mr. New York, right? He's just like me, New York. Get out of here.

That's why he got shot, you know. Because of the shirt? No, because he was walking around going, I don't know if the bagels are as good as they say. I need to try some more. And someone was like, Enough. Hey, come on. The bagels are good. I'm going to put a hole in you like I put a hole in the bagel.

Oh my god, that is like dorky and dark. I like that. Thank you. That's my brand. Do you guys want to hear my beatles nirvana yes yes whatever it is i want to hear it yes okay so we've got your john lennon who's basically your kurt cobain right right and of course like kurt did love john but you've got like you're kind of messed up one maybe objectively the most kind of like sexy um screaming whatever dies young yeah yeah right then you've got the paul mccartney which is dave girl my opinion dave girl is not

ringo dave is paul sure yeah and then so you've got the well-adjusted one who's just like a fucking prolific writing machine i i think paul mccartney is a genius i don't think dave girls musical genius no offense and in the same way but like but they live on and so it goes nirvana foo fighters beatles wings oh yeah okay yes yeah that's just that's like my um history repeating itself right it's not that interesting but there there's something i think about sometimes who is there um what is the guy that dave no chris novoselic yeah what who's that guy in the beatles equation he's not he's none of them he's he's the weird guy in the corner that just came to watch because i've heard he's turned into like a libertarian slash right wing kind he I remember like years and years ago when Dave Grohl

was first on the scene with the Foo Fighters they did a side profile on him and he was making a freeze form jazz album. Yeah, I remember when Foo Fighters formed he was in a band called Sweet 75 where he played a 12 string guitar

never heard any music from them ever again. Foo Fighters formed, he was in a band called Sweet 75 where he played a 12-string guitar. Never heard any music from them ever again. He's going to be really rich though, right? I wonder. Does he write those songs? Do they get, like, do they share the credit on the music? Yeah, I wonder.

I wonder, like, is he like, oh, I have $3 million comfortably or is he like $50 million? I'm going to, I know it's not accurate, is he like, oh, I have 3 million comfortably or is he like 50 million? I'm going to, I know it's not accurate, but I'm going Chris. Oh yeah, go there. Because I kind of would be. What is he? Six foot seven.

That's really tall. 80 million. Oh, wow. Okay. So yeah. If I had 80 million, I would absolutely be in some weird band that no one heard from and you would not see me again hopefully i would not become libertarian but yeah like i don't know now so if he's 80 million i've looked it up yeah obviously these numbers they could come out of

nowhere yeah yeah dave grohl how many times more rich would should dhl be? From Foo Fighters? Just in his life. Wow. If Chris Novoselic... Dave Grohl's probably a half million. I mean, a half billion. 500 million. $320 million.

Wow. Wow. That's not as rich as I thought. Gross. Well, because it's like... Chris Novoselic Has basically stopped Putting out anything Since 1994 93

93 yeah Yeah so he's like Just coasting Yeah Coasting Coasting on like onesies Sold at Target And I bet he didn't

I bet Dave didn't get as much As Nirvana Because he wasn't an original member And Chris Was Kurt's best friend Yeah I don't know if He made a will or anything in regards to that,

but I assume that Dave... I remember hearing Courtney Love was saying that, like, in the last few months, he was trying to, like, renegotiate with the band and get total writing credit. Yeah. But Courtney talks a lot. Yeah.

Yeah, who knows if she's accurate. Yeah, and it was a different time. Internet was just starting then, so you couldn't get a handle on it. There were no memes about it. We couldn't have learned anything without those memes. Yeah, I think, how much do you have, 8 million? 80. Yeah, I wouldn't, what would I do?

Would I try to like funnel that back into something like charitable or something like, what would you do after like 2 million? What do you do with the other? Get out of here. Okay. Jen, how,

what do you do with it? What do you do with 80 million? How to spend it with Jen Kirkman. Okay. First of all, everyone in my family, not not every extended i mean immediate with some nieces and nephews everyone gets bought a home okay everyone's college is paid for everyone is set up so that they don't have to struggle so much okay so, so we're taking care of that. Taking care of myself, going to lock some away in a savings.

Yeah. Oh, you can have that bi-coastal staff you were talking about. Oh, I'm definitely, yep. But I don't know if I would live in the, but I definitely have a couple houses. I would spend the time, my time, I would just want to travel the world. Of course, I would do charitable things,

but I'd want my money to make money. So I would be want to travel the world. Of course, I would do charitable things, but I'd want my money to make money. So I would be, you know, putting it in like a high interest. Just get a guy for it. Like, yeah, like some kind of like high interest, like not necessarily the stock market because that's too volatile, but like just high interest things

so that like every year I'm making millions on having millions in just interest. Yeah. But totally charitable things and not secretly. Very publicly. The Jen Kirkman Foundation. Oh, yeah. Even though you'd probably get shit for it.

Well, you know what I do? I change my mind. I would do it secretly, but then have it leaked. Oh, my God. Do you know that Jen Kirkman secretly does this? Because the minute you do it secretly people respect you and it doesn't matter if you're only giving away 10 of what you have but the minute you tell everyone then people start digging in and they start

managing your money from afar like you shouldn't have more than a hundred thousand dollars at all yeah yeah they'll be like wait a minute why clef you raised all that money for haiti where did it go yes what it didn't go to haiti did i miss a big story nobody this was like 10 years ago yeah he like the fujis are in disarray yeah that's true yeah that i knew i what i wouldn't give though for a fujis reunion tour you know that's uh it's something i can only dream about i suppose well praz is in jail for like espionage oh shit maybe they could do like a johnny cash thing you know i'm doing from prison oh dude from from the heck um what uh i want to hear your story one one time the fujis reunited basically right in front of my apartment and i couldn't get home um but like to see them or were they just blocking you like you wanted to go back to your bedroom bed quarters i want to know

yeah this was like i don't i'm probably wrong people can google it find out but there was it was about 2003 or 4 i was living in los angeles in this tiny little studio apartment in hollywood right next to the hollywood ymca if you've ever been to la it's like very close to the arclight movie theater yes um anyway the the reason i'm saying all this is because i lived on this little side street and uh and kind of like two blocks away from like where they filmed Jimmy Kimmel, but like behind it. So they were the Fugees were reuniting, like not as not like the band was getting back together, but they were doing like a song or two somewhere in the neighborhood, like at an outdoor thing that was part of something else. in the neighborhood, like at an outdoor thing that was part of something else. I really don't know.

But all I know, I was driving home from wherever I'd been and I couldn't park on any of the streets in my neighborhood. But I also had a parking spot like at this apartment complex I lived in and the cops wouldn't let me pull into my driveway because the little street that my driver was on was roped off and i said but i'm i'm right there i live right there just move the cone i'll just go right in like i'm not i just right and i kept doing that and i was getting so frustrated that i said my baby is inside and i didn't realize what i'd said. And the cop said, is anyone with your baby? And I said, no, I have to get. So I told a cop that I left my baby unattended.

He arrests you on sight. Well, that was before, you know, there weren't memes yet about white privilege. So I didn't even realize how fucking lucky I was. And then I went, no, but I mean, no, I don't even know. I just was stammering and yammering. And to be honest, I just had to pee really bad, and I wasn't sure I was going to make it. So I just drove like a long way away.

So they didn't even let you in with your, oh, because you backed down from your baby statement. Well, it was that or get arrested for leaving a child. I think you could get arrested for leaving a baby. Seems like something you could get arrested for. Yeah. It seemed not great.

So yeah, I just was like, oh, forget it. It was just all, this is like, this is an example of ADHD behavior. It's just like all crazy and crazy.

So, and then I just, I think I drove like a mile away and just parked there and walked home, you know, but like. But you could hear the Fugees? I don't remember. I just remember being like,

what is going on? And it was something like, they said there's a concert. And then I think it's like one of those things I don't remember. Maybe I was complaining to someone and they were like, yeah, the Fugees were reuniting.

I'm like, did they have to do it right outside my place? It does sound a bit like a dream. Without, I know. I'm going to Google. Keep, keep talking.

I'll join it. Sure. Sure. Can I have, here's a suggestion. Yeah. Now this is just, we're spitballing ideas. I don't know what this is.

Yeah. The Fuge Fighters. Hmm. I don't hate it. I, is it like a mashup band? Maybe it is. Yeah. Or maybe, yeah, it's, you take all the, one band is performing the other band's songs.

Well, that's fun. Or like, they could just go, you know, do each other's songs and then do one long jam. You know, or they just like for 45 minutes or an hour, they just jam out so everybody can get high and stare off into space. I've never been to a jazz jam band concert, so I don't know what happens. But I've been to a dead concert against my will oh i must know i must know about it tell me about it okay no this is weird it said the fujis reunited in 2003 but it was new york city but i definitely wasn't in new york i swear to god maybe that show in in 2003 was more deliberate but i swear to god like they did

something they were they were supposed to do a reunion tour in 2000 no i don't know something happened i swear i'm i'm not gonna back down on this it was the fujis maybe it was 2003 hollywood where they tricked them they invited the three of them to a barbecue but the three didn't know they were going to be there and then once they got there they were like oh let's let's belt out a few tunes that could happen that could happen i'm gonna find out i i don't want your listeners to think i'm full of shit no i i think there's probably someone out there who does know and was like oh I remember that And it wasn't the Fugees It was a partial Fugee reunion

The Foo Fighters It was the Fuge Fighters And it was Lauryn Hill Singing for all the cows Oh man Someday I'm going to figure out my own stories I want to know about this Dead concert Oh yeah

I also like made money at it because i pretended that i was trying to get cross country and that my friend had left me all these dumb babies i left my baby on the other side of the country alone yeah yeah i was so bored during space okay so here's what it is my dear friend Liz who lives in New York now too she was my college roommate I don't think she likes the dead anymore she was just and she was like we liked the same kind of music we were more like grungy punky riot girl but she had a thing for the dead it just didn't match anything else about her and I would just relentlessly make fun of them. And I know they're good musicians,

I just didn't get into them. I think what I didn't get into was the mythology around them. Like, no, but when you go to a concert, it's all peace and everybody's this. I'm like, I get it. But that's like, whatever. You don't have to defend not liking it.

No, yeah, yeah. This is a safe space. I was just going to say, that's any concert you feel at peace but that's not true i know other like it's probably not gonna be violence at a dead concert the way there would be at like a kid rock concert like i get it yeah right yeah but like i don't know it just reminds me of when people try to tell me what happens when they're tripping and i'm like yeah you had the realization that we all already know the food fighters they come up with that and everybody goes yeah yeah we already thought about that oh you can care about other people okay yeah all right we're all one i don't know if you guys knew that um oh yeah we're like connected okay that's cool yeah we're connected

but you cannot literally i'm the guy who goes to who experiences these things but doesn't care yeah yeah i kind of like felt like a unity with everyone and all humankind and but you know whatever it was fine yeah that's like but i wonder if the same effect happens at like a dave matthews concert like is it that same hippy dippy kind of of energy? They probably think it is, but then I'll defend the dead heads and be like, no. Your Dave Matthews concert was nothing like the dead. Yeah, let's do a hierarchy of what concerts inspire the greatest oneness. I think the Dave Matthews because of that one time that they dumped all their sewage onto a boat. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like. You've got to respect them for that. And I heard it was Dave Matthews himself who made that decision he pulled the cord do it here so gross but yeah so my friend was like look you know you can keep making fun of them but only if you go with me and just see you know right and so i went with her and she my friend is from cape cod massachusetts and so we were uh living at school in boston at the time so this must have been 92 okay uh jerry garcia is still alive i think uh one of the members had died and there was the second one.

Like new failure. Yeah. Okay. But it wasn't like the whole original lineup. I know at one point someone replaced someone. John Mayer's there now. Is he? Yeah.

He's there. They're doing a thing called dead and company dead and co. And John Mayer is one of the members. What a terrible name. It's a really terrible name when you think about it it's like the least dead thing like a company like dead incorporation dead 401c like also like like it's like when john stamos joined the beach boys and we're like okay sure yeah that's yeah yeah exactly as long as it makes them happy that's fine they're not

that's really good i I like that parallel. The John Mayer is the John Stamos of today. Totally. At least they kept the name, the Beach Boys. The Dead and Company. I mean, I'm angry about this. Yeah. Is there also, are they a parallel?

Is the Grateful Dead? We've had deadhead guests who could answer these questions for us, so I really don't know why I need to go down this yeah why can't they call themselves the deadheads that's pretty good well i think that they would be confusing with the crowds well yeah crowds are the deadheads we're the deadheads all all we who all right the dead headliners oh that's pretty good you're coming up instantly with better names than they came up with officially. Dead and company. They're like sat around all day. They're like, uh, I don't know, dead.

Dead. I just can't. Dead said Fred. No, no. Yeah, no, that's pretty good. Yeah. That's better too. Anyway.

Yeah. Are they still alive? Jerry Garcia is dead I don't know if Phil Lush is dead I'm just wondering if the dead company Is coexisting with the Grateful Dead Or like Gallagher and Gallagher 2 Going on at the same time

Yeah or like In Canada we have the Guess Who And then But the main members have The Guess Who And then But the main members From the Guess Who don't have The rights to the copyright So they go on tour as

Bachman and Cummings Was that the one where the drummer bought the Yeah the drummer or Bass player or something Like bought the name and then was like Screw you guys you have to pay for me to Is the Guess Who American Woman American Woman bass player or something like bought the name and then was like screw you guys you have to pay for me to is the guess who american woman american woman that's such a good song that is such a jam yeah i know uh i mean i who did it first was it lenny kravitz or the guess who

what it was the guess who it's a classic rock song no it was on I think it was on The Austin Powers 2 soundtrack Stop this Which came out first I saw him The lead of The Guess Who In concert Last year And he was great

He was older But he still had a good voice And he still was Having fun But I like when Lenny Kravitz Is like I mean who doesn't He's great

He is great Lenny Kravitz is a treasure. Yeah. It's true. Anyway, you were at this concert. Okay. Well, also, Lenny Kravitz has a great furniture line at CB2, if you know what CB2 is. Of course, yeah.

It's Crate and Barrel's little brother. I don't know if you've gotten it yet up there. Oh, yeah. We got one on Robson Street. I got a light fixture there. He does, eh? I know Cindy Crawford has a line of recliners somewhere. He does?

Really? She did have, like, Cindy Crawford furniture. I do like a personality that goes endorsing some kind of weird. Because, like, why would Lenny Kravitz, you think he would endorse some kind of fashion line? Mm-hmm. You know? Right, like that time,

I love that picture of him in that like blanket scarf. I love it. I think about it all the time. Yeah. But the furniture's very similar. Like, it's big.

It's like everything's, like you see it online and you're like, oh, that's a cool, like hurricane candle holder, you know? Yeah.

And then you go into the store and it's five feet tall, like on the floor. It's, everything's very gothic and like wood and it's just big and woodsy and like expensive yeah but it's fun to walk around and go like yeah if i walked into this place uh i could see that lenny really has all this in his home yeah yeah i'm trying to think now. What does Lenny Kravitz's house look like? Because we know he is... We know he has a giant

scarf. Yeah. Oh, we know his penis fell out of his pants that one time. Also giant, yeah. Yeah. Do you remember it was also a paparazzi picture? It was him, like, maybe 2010, on an iPhonehone but he had a weird adapter that had like the coily cable like old time um like phone booth handset he rules that's cool

yeah yeah he does he likes big he needs furniture he can lay his penis you know this could be used as a candle holder or a penis holder right it's five foot tall or a penis holder he has to lay on the couch and put his penis

in the thing or candles that come in like a leather pair of pants and you have to like squat them down and they all fall out I don't know

oh my god oh man that's wonderful alright well anyway so I'm out the dead and so 1992 and they all fall out. I don't know. Oh my God. Oh man. That's wonderful. All right. Well, anyway, so I'm at the dead. And so 1992, Boston, my friend Liz runs into like this girl.

She went to high school with in Massachusetts. And this girl is like barefoot with a baby. Okay. An actual baby, not a lying person. Like me. Real deal. Baby,

dirty feet, baby smoking. Like the baby, not a lying person like me. Real deal baby. Dirty feet, baby, smoking. The baby was smoking? The baby was chaining it. And I mean, yeah. She's smoking pot or she's smoking a cigarette? A cigarette. Okay. And she's got literally like track marks on her.

I just went to Boston. She got track marks on her. I just went to Boston. She got track marks on her. So she's OK. Yeah, she's, you know, like strung out on heroin. And it was really sad. And like, hey, guys. And it was just really, really tragic. And, you know, she wandered off with the baby.

And it wasn't like funny anymore to make fun of these. I was just like, no, this is bad. And so she started saying this thing of like, you know, like are you safe like are you okay like you don't have shoes and the bait and she was just like we're all family here we all take care of each other and i just at the time i was very intolerant of that like not seeing like people have trauma and they you know like that's the best you could do in that moment but but i was just like you know these fucking rich assholes are on stage playing and they don't really understand what's going on in the crowd in terms of like, I felt like to

me, like I was watching like the greatest scam artists who ever lived, like in their name, people are giving up their life and following them around. And if I had fans, well, A, if I had fans, but if I had fans that did that, I would be like, guys, do not do that. Get, I need you guys to get, like, get your shit together. I want you to be, like, good people. Like, this is, like, I want society to be better. That's why I'm, you know, saying what I'm saying on stage. Like, I don't want a bunch of people following me around who've like literally given up

their jobs, their life. They don't have food. They're strung out. Like, I was just so mad at the dead. I was like, this isn't hippie-ism.

This is fucking corporate. Like, I was so mad. Yeah. So anyway, I know it's not their fault, but also I do hold firmly that you are allowed

to say things to your fan base. And I see too often that people do not um tell their fan base like that their values like you're not really representing my values so it just made me mad um and so my friend liz was like oh she was like an amazing ballerina and she you know and now look at her she's strung up so i was like whatever so i go and sit with liz and i'm like okay yes the music is good everyone's an amazing musician great like i hear music that sounds like good music it's just not my kind of music that gets me excited and then here comes space that's the big jam drum solo part. And it goes on forever. And I guess it's like you time your mushroom,

I mean, your acid dropping to space. Sure. I could be wrong, and the deadheads in your audience, I'm sure, will correct me, but I think it was like an hour. I left and said to Liz, I'm going to come back in when this is done.

And I was a broke like jerk you know and so I'd already spent like I never went to things like concerts so I think I spent all this is like pre-ATM it's like I spent all the cash I had already on like a beer at the you know and so I'm like no money and so I sat outside and I don't know how I got something like maybe I had a hat on and I tipped it upside down and I was just ripping off the other hippies and I said hey man my friends left without me I need money so I can like hitchhike across country or get cigarettes or get something or get gas. Like,

or I don't know. I had all kinds of different stories. One was like, my wallet was stolen and I need money because I need to contribute to the gas because we're driving cross country. And then like, and, uh,

I made like 50, 50 bucks that night. Wow. Nice. From just like gullible hippies walking by me like Simon and like giving me money. And it was just weird because I was like, why did they have money? I don't know. It was just, nice from just like gullible hippies walking by me like sorry man and like giving me money and it was just weird because i was like why did they have money i don't know it was just i just felt like i was around a bunch of like either very sad strung out people that really needed to like

get their shit together or just like rich kids who are like damn at the dead and and i came back in and space was still going on and i was just like this is this is just not for me and i don't mean to like make fun of it but it it was just i don't know i had like again everything i'm ranting about was what 20 maybe 19 year old jen was upset about and she was a real handful, you know? So like nobody come at me. I wrote a lot of like passionate essays in college about, you know, I was like, I was like an eat the rich kind of person before it was a thing on Twitter. Right.

And now I'm more rational. We're like, I don't hold every single person accountable for everyone else's actions. Like I don't blame the Grateful Dead anymore. But I do think on a small level that it's too bad that at some point their egos just didn't mind that people followed them around. I think that's kind of sad. But anyway, but yeah, so I just was angry. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah, man. I do see, like, I feel like there is a new generation, and this feels like all rich kids who are into The Grateful Dead, because I feel like now to go see them live, it's hundreds

of dollars. Yeah. Back then it was probably 20. Oh, yeah. Because I don't know how I, I didn't have a credit card. I don't even know how I went. I don't even remember.

How did you buy a ticket? I don't know. I guess my friend bought it and I gave her 20 bucks. Um, or you scammed a different crowd and then you had, uh, some money to burn. Yeah.

I went and scammed a, um, fish concert. I was like, I need to make money to buy a grateful dead ticket. Just moving from concert to concert. Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Well, I'll tell you, but before we do, I know that our guest is a big fan of, and just like that,

the Sex and the City universe. And it's starting up today the day that we're recording we're pre-taping a few because we got some summer travel plans Jen yeah

what are you looking forward to this year? well let me just correct you on the big fan like I am I'm not hate watching it

because I wouldn't waste my time I love the Sex and the City universe the original which I didn't even watch when it was originally because I wouldn't waste my time. I love the Sex and the City Universe, the original, which I didn't even watch when it was originally on. I didn't like it. I lived in New York at the time and thought anyone who watched it was stupid. Didn't realize I would have loved it if I'd seen it. Ended up watching the series when I moved to LA and I missed my friends.

And I was like, maybe I'll watch this. And then I loved it. But I watch it just like that because I can't not revisit this world and I watch it to cringe. Because Graham is the same. Like Graham, I don't watch the show. I catch it here and there.

My wife watches it. But Graham is, have you missed an episode? Or are you? I think I have one more episode before the end of the first season. And just like that? And just like that and just like that yeah i've definitely seen you graham you're way behind yeah well the last episode of the first

season of and just like that is actually the best episode okay okay something to look forward to closest to you know the old show and it just things make sense in it yeah but um so as a like kind of watching it ironically but rooting for it but don't have much hope that it's um gonna please me all that much i'm rooting for um i guess being annoyed with the che diaz character and their comedy concert and their pilot they're filming in la that they had to move there to film a pilot which is something i keep screaming about that's a seven day process. It's basically a business trip and you won't know for months if it gets picked up. You don't have to move your girlfriend out there.

And, you know, I just the whole cast, including the, you know, I don't blame the writers because I'm a TV writer and I'm not in control of like anything that is on screen that I write for. Like everything gets filtered through like, you know. Oh, yeah. Notes and notes and notes. People above you. Yeah. But Michael Patrick King and then the actors on the show, I don't hold the writers accountable for anything, but they're really doubling down on the reason that people don't like Chia Diaz

is because we're uncomfortable with queer culture and non-binary. I'm like, no, I'm uncomfortable with this comedy. It's nothing. I don't care about the non-binary. I care about the comedy, the comedy concert. Yeah.

Yeah. Keep using that phrase. The bad podcast that, that is literally getting live calls. That's the morning radio show. That's not a podcast. I love that. And she's, Carrie's so out of it. She doesn't know what a podcast is.

And she's being a prude. All of a sudden she's a prude in this modern era. It's, yeah. Okay, that, you know, looking back on the show, I realized, oh, she is the character having the least adventurous sex right and yes yes right so and you know really was a column she was more about love than sex but like but now it's like oh my god i can't even hear that and i'm like are you sarah jessica parker trying to like

we know it's not you it's okay if you talk it's very weird and also what i assumed the show would be when i heard that this new show is coming out and she's gonna have a podcast i thought oh just like in the original sex in the city the voiceover is her words in the column she's writing and now that that newspaper probably wouldn't exist or the column wouldn't she has a solo podcast where she talks about love yeah and that's the narration nope no it's like no it's not it's her and bobby lee of all like rape adjacent comedian people and shay and shay diaz and sjp like i thought she'd have a producer in her home that would do all the tech and she'd just sit there at home and talk. Yeah. But you are, like, it is, the fact that Carrie is, like, the least sexually adventurous person, but that's her whole persona.

I remember in the series, there was a guy, she dated a guy who wanted to do golden showers and she couldn't she couldn't have any but she said i can pour some tea on you i mean the golden showers is the one that i'm like you know i'm not interested yeah um and i honestly like unlike other sexual things if someone asked me that i don't know if i could get over it and just be like no i'm never doing that but let's just keep being together i feel like i'd be like i think we're different fundamentally so i could see that one but just like when she didn't know what bisexual was and like you know stuff like that like i think samantha talked about tea bagging once they always did this joke in the original sex in the city samantha would say something in quotes dirty and then car Carrie would call the waiter.

Cancel my rice pudding. Like it always like ruined her appetite. They did that joke like 90 times on the show. My favorite was from the second movie, I think. Was it the first movie? Which? The second movie is when they went to the Middle East. I know, but this is like just such a minor thing.

And maybe it's the first movie. I'll went to the Middle East. I know, but this is like just such a minor thing. And maybe it's the first one. I'll know if you say it. It's Alice Eve is the Irish, like babysitter nanny. That's the second one. It's the second movie. No, it's not. Yes, it is. Yeah, it is.

And she doesn't wear a bra. Yeah. And she's Irish. And the whole reason she exists is so that Samantha can say, Aaron, go braless. Yeah. You know what I love that you said? That's exactly reason she exists is so that Samantha can say, Aaron, go braless. Yeah. You know what I love that you said? That's exactly why she exists. The whole movie exists, I believe,

so that Samantha could say, Lawrence of Milania. Yeah, that's the other line. The entire reason they went to the Middle East and tried to, like, I don't know. Yeah. They start pun first. Sympathetic to, like, I don't know. Yeah. They start pun first. Sympathetic to, like, the Saudis. Like, I don't know what that plotline was, but, like, okay.

But, yeah, it was for Lawrence of Mylavia. Yeah. And we thank them for it. And I really hope, I haven't watched any of these in Just Like That, but I really hope that Carrie and Big end up together. Well, oh, I have to tell you something i'm non-ironically excited about is that she's gonna um they basically let it you know leak out that she's gonna reunite with aid and i don't know if they're gonna date but oh yeah that is in the it was in the trailer yeah and i'm not an aid and fan but i think i i like

older aidan and her together that because I just want to see anyone I recognize. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like Burger because I always hear a name and my mouth just starts watering. I hope you don't really like him though, right? I did see the actor walking with his family once. Oh, that's pretty good. You know, I've heard him say that women hated that character so much that he personally ron livingston would get like assaulted by women

in central park like you asshole like and he's like i'm not the i'm i'm not jack burger stop saying his name i'm so hungry um yeah dave what's happened with you okay well what's going on with me is two episodes ago we were going to record in person and i couldn't because i was sick i'm still sick oh shit and it's been 11 days now uh i dug up the covid tests uh i've been taking those regularly i'm still still negative. Good. Uh, three years going strong. Uh, but I,

um, but like I was feeling a little bit better and I was like, if I had COVID, they'd just be like five days, go back to work. Um, but now I'm on 11 days of a cold, I guess.

Uh, and so I went to a restaurant by myself, uh, just to get some pho. Pho. Because nothing beats it when you have a cold. And I did something I hadn't done in a restaurant in decades since the invention of a phone. I read a book in a restaurant.

Whoa. Isn't that great? That's the best. But I found it very jarring because i was like i'm in two worlds right now i'm here in this restaurant but i'm also on this airplane yeah yeah yeah i'm in like yeah you're in like 1998 you know yeah yeah where there was any phone you could oh that is the one reading a book sitting in a restaurant alone is just such it was actually something i really really missed during covid because i was super covid cautious and i never went inside restaurants until like recently and even then i don't do it unless i have to yeah like i still i can sit

outside and read a book alone but there's just something so lovely about that yeah and it is like when you see somebody at a bar doing it just like that that's what they're doing is just having a pint and reading a book it's just like oh that seems so nice that seems like the best thing ever just a little drink and uh yeah yeah i'm reading i've never read stephen king before uh langoliers i'm reading the langoliers based on past guest jackie pirago's uh recommendation and did you like it? So far. It's, you know, they're in dreams. They're in planes. I'm in a restaurant.

Is it scary? Like, does it stay with you when you're sleeping in the middle of the night? No, it's not that. It's like sort of paranormal more than it's like monster-y. Yeah. Okay.

I remember reading Gerald's name. What's that? He's from Jen's neck of the woods, isn't he? Oh yeah. He's from Maine. From Maine. Maine is nothing to do with Massachusetts.

Is it not New England? To me, New England is Massachusetts. Only. Only pretty much. I mean, I guess it is, but it's really not. I think Maine is more like Canada. Yeah, we'll take it.

Yeah, all right, fine. I got no problem with Maine. I just, it seems so far away. Yeah, it's enough already with Maine, yeah? Do you think the air quality has made your cold Not able to clear up? What's wrong with the air quality? Oh, the fires? No, that's not it

The air quality is pretty good here Why did New York get it so bad? Because we're closer to Quebec? I guess so Wait, are you guys in Vancouver or Toronto? I'm forgetting We're in Vancouver Oh right, I thought you were in Toronto for some reason.

Oh. Because I forgot and don't care about you. No, I'm kidding. Okay, so you didn't get it as much on the West Coast. No. Okay, got it. Got it. Not yet.

Not yet. I am now at the point in my cold where I don't remember having a cold this long and I'm like, oh, do you get very sad around day nine? I've just been like sad. I'm sick. I'm very sad about it. i don't like to hear that one bit i really relate i had a very long cold this year wasn't covid and or last year and i was i don't know what it got very existential yeah i felt like this is never gonna end and is this

is this what it's gonna feel like when I'm older and I just don't I don't like it I don't like this I'm I'm I don't know what it was but it felt lonely but not in the like I wish I lived with people it was like true human loneliness you know like we come in alone and we go out alone like it was it was sad i've like i remember getting a few really bad colds in my 20s and 30s and thinking oh this would kill me if i was 90 like this is a such a bad cold that i would just die oh yeah yeah it's uh oh and it's just like you're looking every day for a little sign of getting better like your throat doesn't oh i woke up not sniffly oh i sat up i'm sniffly again yes oh that is the worst that is the worst when the symptoms are like i just hadn't gotten up yet ha ha yeah which

is weird because you're like oh i think getting up, gravity should help everything go down. Yeah. Being sideways, I should just be. Yep. I don't want to get too graphic about it. Besides pho, is there anything that you have as like comfort food or drink? No, not really. Part of me is like, oh, there's a, oh, there's some, there's a bacteria or virus somewhere in my throat well some vodka would get rid of that but i don't think that works but i was like dr pepper

anytime i'm like oh really yeah dr pepper it's kind of the only time i think i have it and it's i get i'll do ginger ale with a stomach cold or stomach cold a stomach flu yeah yeah it's uh it's kind of the only time like that i will drink sodas when i'm not feeling well it seems like i don't ever just go and have a coke well once in a while i'll do because it's just sometimes it's exactly the thing you want oh yeah i was doing one little tiny Coke a week. Yeah. Those little cans of Coke. When I was playing hockey in the nights,

I would be like, I'll have a Coke with dinner and then I'll be, have so much energy to skate around. That's so cute. Wee, everybody. Did you guys have a Coke too?

No? You're all grown men who don't like me? Did you say grown men who don't like me you say grown men who don't like me yeah are you are you joking but or do you feel like an outcast in your hockey team no i don't feel like an outcast but i uh i feel like an outcast everywhere man if you catch me at the grateful dead show i think everyone's so phony oh those corporate types there um uh no i fit it okay with them but i do feel like a dork i feel like mostly like a dork a dork got it yeah but you're a dorkable everybody i'm a dark dork

uh that's my brand as we established earlier yeah um but yeah reading books in uh restaurants it's all right man It sounds really good. Very little going on with me. That takes a bravery that I think some of those big muscular jocks you play hockey with probably wouldn't do. They'd be like, I will look like a nerd reading alone. Yeah, yeah. I don't think they could do it.

I think you're braver than them. Yeah, that's true. I am pretty brave. It takes a lot of bravery. And you know what? you've got it in spades i've got it um so yeah that's about it for me this week ray and what's going on with you um i don't know with i have two things that happen but one of them might be too gross oh can i just tell you one i I have one more thing. Can I add one more thing? Now, Jen, I famously have very boring dreams. Like the dreams that stick with me this week that was so boring was i uh opened up my email and i had 250 new emails ah shit but i wasn't like i was like hey

i'll get through those i was even looking forward to it a little bit so even your reaction was boring you weren't panicked no i was like i bet there's some good coupon codes in here oh that's so funny i love it i love a little boring dream okay give me your two things okay uh i was in nova scotia over the weekend yesterday what really yeah i went there very close to maine very close to the total eclipse of the sun uh yeah. And just get some of those lobsters that I'm totally allergic to. But you gotta, when you're there, you gotta eat lobster. What? Was this for the debaters?

It is. Yeah, it was. How long were you gone? I left on Sunday and then I just got back yesterday. Yesterday was Wednesday. So this was, it's a long flight. It is a long flight. It is a long flight it is a long flight it is a long flight and the plane i was on it was the closest quarters i think because uh i'm a husky boy and then i was sitting next

to another husky boy and then the person in front of me leaned all the way back so i was kind of in like a tomb like it was there's no places to move um but before the flight and this hasn't happened to me since i think it was a kid i got a nosebleed which was like just came out of nowhere and it was uh it meant business this nose and you're a big nose picker so it's weird that you don't get them yeah exactly i've been mostly uh just lucky date. But yeah, it just started out of nowhere. And I was like, Oh, what do you do? And then I remember from movies, like you tilt your head back. Don't do that. That's the worst possible thing you can do because then the blood goes into your throat. Like the kid, the logic they told us, you know,

40 years ago is different than what you're supposed to do now. But I couldn't figure out, like, I was like, okay, maybe you put like some toilet paper there and then it'll just stop on its own. Yeah, exactly what you did.

You pinch the top, like the bridge of your nose for 10 or 15 minutes. And that totally what, what got it. But I was waiting to get on the plane. One of the producers that I was with, she was like, I can give you a tampon. I was like, actually, that may be the level of nosebleed that I have here that I might have to walk around with a tampon. What do you mean the level?

What do you think happens in a woman's butt? But the fact like no paper towel or kleenex was able to withstand this blood and it was it was like i was like i hope you know when you're something like that happens like your brain immediately goes to i'm dying right i've got a nosebleed i've never had one of those since i was a kid i'm dying this is this is the first sign of a wind down. A wind down, yeah. This is it. Yeah, but exactly what you did, Jen, that's what you're supposed to do, and it worked.

It worked like a charm. Do you do forward or do you just pinch? Yeah, you just pinch and you keep pressure there, and then they said if it doesn't work, then you have to go to the hospital. The blood isn't coming from there. It's coming from behind, isn't it? I don't know where it's coming from, but I know where it's going. All over my shirt and all over my pants.

But why does it make you afraid that you're dying? But like, why did it happen in the first place? I don't know. That's the spooky thing is I have no idea why it happened. Honestly, it probably hasn't happened to me since I was like eight or something. When it happened when you were a kid, was it caused by anything or was it just come out of nowhere? Just came out of nowhere. Because one of my kids gets them out of nowhere. Yeah.

And it's I think like in my head, that was just a thing that happens when you're a kid. Like you don't get nosebleeds as an adult. I was wrong. You get them. You know, and you were near. I'm going to bring it up again. One of you is going to be affected by these damn fires. Yeah.

Well, we have been in previous years for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe, maybe your nose was dried out. Or maybe that's my body's new thing that it wants to try. Sure. Yeah. I mean, I've started lactating.

Oh, yeah. It's fine. You know, in my 40s, it's cool. Whatever. It happens sometimes. A lot of people don't talk about it. I feel a oneness with the whole world and then I start lactating.

It's fine. It doesn't even bother me. What if there was a girl next to you that had just gotten her period and your nose synced up? Yeah. That's an old wives tale. That women's periods

sync up or that men get nosebleeds. Yeah, the men's nosebleeds with women's periods. That would be great because then there'd be

a greater level of sympathy. Because we are all one. I don't know if you know this. Yeah, we're all one. I learned that

a long time ago. No sweat off my back. But, is it, does it, is it confirmed that women's periods I learned that a long time ago No sweat off my back But Is it confirmed that Women's periods sync up And if so is it like over months Or does it like happen You know you live together for a few weeks

I've heard that it does I don't remember if it's ever happened to me It's something that like If you have a friend Who has it at the same time we jokingly go oh my god we're in sync but like I don't

I'm sure it does that's why all the guys from NSYNC they all had the same period that's how they got together that's how they found them yeah I read that no I think it takes

a couple months it's a couple cycles but it would have to be but who is monitoring that like when are you like I don't even know yeah

you don't punch in and punch out like everybody's so different like who even knows it's circled on the calendar like no one cares i guess in other words like it's a thing we all joke about but like has it happened to me no clue no clue yeah and not these days with this later in life business okay um yeah so that's what's going on with me I'm glad you're okay yeah I'm glad I'm okay

too it was very weird and then like I was like oh it's just bleeding a little bit it was like crazy it was gushing it was so so much blood yeah is it possible you got punched in the face and didn't I may have I may have had like a like some kind of sleep,

a sleepwalking thing where I pissed somebody off down at the docks. I used to get it and get them in my sleep. And it was the worst. Cause I'd wake up with my face stuck to the pillow. Oh, fuck. Jesus Christ. Sorry.

Between that and the strung out girl of the show, I was just a bummer. I can get that out of my mind that's gonna ruin my week is she okay now i don't know i never saw her again went off she ever dance again to the night yeah their baby and that woman hillary clinton wow good okay i like a positive end you know if only hillary had told stories like that when she was campaigning you know i feel like kids yes and more relatable absolutely yeah she kept things like that real close to the vest well you guys want to move on to some overheards first a little business oh business that sound of course means it's time for a bit of business. And the business this week is something on the old Jumbotron.

Gotta crank up the Jumbotron as bright as it can go because this is a big one. It's a big light bright in the sky. And this one is for Craig. And it is from Noel and Gritty. And they want to say, happy 40th birthday, Craig. Thank you for introducing me to spy all those years ago. And thank you for sharing 1000 inside jokes with me about it. I hope you have an amazing birthday and happy Bastille day.

And don't forget, even though you're the Dave and I'm the Graham and our friendship, somehow we've both got the C3PO. We've both, we're both the C3PO. That's impossible. There can't, it's like having two R2d2s that's impossible

anyways two c3pos that's like c6po yeah exactly thank you uh anyways happy birthday to craig from your uh good pals noel and gritty i assume gritty is a human and noel is a dog of some sort and yeah i assume that Gritty is absolutely a, the Graham of the relationship. Um, well, that's wonderful. And,

uh, well, uh, you know, we love love and actually I didn't, I, you know what? I don't know if they said the word love in this.

So, uh, nope, didn't come up. We still love love. Yeah. I'm ready to go on the record and say that I love love. Yeah.

Okay. But I don't know if that applies to these people Anyway um Happy birthday To you and yours from all of us here to all of you there We have one more message As well This one's for a little

Scamp named David Um from Claire And Spennyboy Dave take it away Happy birthday to one of The two best brothers on the planet. Enjoy this special birthday message immortalized by two of your favorite podcast hosts. Of. Here's to the next 37 filled with more cottage hangouts, trips to Montreal, and getting falafel from that place next to your old apartment that you never tried until the day you moved out.

Love you. See, this one is about love. This one's about love. And also, have I been in that situation where I didn't try a thing until the very last minute? Absolutely. Was it something that was delicious? Yes.

It's something I should have been experiencing all those years. For sure. Can you be more specific? I remember moving out of a neighborhood and there being like a pizza slice place that i just never walked the extra distance to go to and then i had it on the day of moving being like oh this is really good it was really good yeah i remember i lived many years in italy and i uh only uh though on the way out I had spaghetti at the airport. A taste of Italy at the airport.

Oh, this is good. Would you like your spaghetti to go, sir? Oh, fuck. They're going to serve it on the plane too. I'm so full now. I love plain spaghetti. Well, back to the show, everybody. Back to the show. Hey, MaxFun listeners. This is Cameron Cameron Esposito I'm a stand-up comic actor writer best-selling author

and podcaster I got a great show called query where I interview LGBTQ plus luminaries across oh a bunch of fields people in entertainment astronauts musicians rock stars I am bringing the show to maximum fun you can listen right now

and i am so happy to be on this network we have new episodes out every monday you can listen at maximumfun.org or wherever you get your podcasts it's official max fun has become a co-op We're now a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you Thanks to supporters and listeners like you MaxFun will always be a place where employees have a say Thanks to you

Shows can continue to partner with an independent, values-driven network Thanks to you We're able to carry on our commitment to our shows and the community we've grown together. Learn more about what becoming a co-op means for us and you at maximum fund.org slash co-op. That's maximum fund.org slash C O O P. Overheard.

Overheard's where you, the listener, and us as the podcasters listen for great things that people are saying, hilarious things, and reporting them back here to the podcast. And we always like to start with the guest. Jen, do you have an overheard? Yes, so I was on the subway here in New York. Oh, absolutely. You were on the six with J-Lo? No, I was on the two, three.

Well, it was the two. You were on the two. Okay. Yeah. And so there's a mom and her daughter, and I'm next to them. Three seats across. The little girl's next to me in the middle mom is to her left the little girl whispers mom how did how come people get diarrhea sometimes and her mom goes um well they

get it if they have a tummy ache. Okay. Which. So far makes sense. I don't think that's like not really why though. Like, but okay. That's true. So then the girl in general, the point of my story is the little girl keeps saying things that actually make scientific sense and are smart. And the mother is saying radically wrong things.

make scientific sense and are smart. And the mother is saying radically wrong things. And the little girl goes, but like, so someone could get it if they ate too much ice cream and too much ice cream and it was really like rich ice cream. And the mother goes, yep. And that could, yep.

And if they have a cold. And I was like, what? Wait a minute. Nothing to do with have a cold. And I was like, what? Wait, am I cold? Nothing to do with having a cold. Like the daughter was like naming foods that could upset your stomach. I think she said something like ice cream. She said something like too many hot dogs. She had all these examples.

All great examples. Yeah, of like, basically the kid was like, if you eat too much and the food doesn't agree with you and then um you know it can give you diarrhea and then uh the mom goes yeah or or you know having a cold and then that was where the conversation ended like and i was wanted to be like i'm sorry ma'am your daughter is right she it is directly like one of the reasons you could get diarrhea is something doesn't agree with you that you ate right not not at all because you have a cold now as someone with a cold i just so i shouldn't have diarrhea right now you should not okay just let me this may not be a cold then okay this may be serious but like it just for some reason

it bothered me because i don't have kids so it's easy for me to take other people's parenting it's like are you even listening to her i mean you should say that's right honey you know and then give her more education about it or you could have a i don't know gut imbalance i don't know, gut imbalance. I don't fucking know, but I'm going to hear it at anyone listening. Diarrhea is not a symptom of a cold, okay? That's not why you have diarrhea. I remember being very young, seven or eight, and I'll flat out say it, got a boner. And a little young, didn't know what to do with it yet still don't

uh but at the time i was i went up to my mother i did not add the time what's this but i walked up to my mother at some point and it was just on my mind i was like hey why does my penis get hard sometimes and she was your answer was like well if you really have to pee see that is not good it's not good look how that fucked you up i'll be reading a playboy and i'll be like oh my god i have to put this down i have to go pee and then you get a hard-on and you can't pee and you think something's wrong with your pee.

Yeah. Oh, my God. Dave, do you have something you've overheard? Yeah, well, that, for one thing. Sure. No, not really. I've been stuck at home a lot. Hmm.

But I did see this. Someone posted a picture of the Vancouver, a really old newspaper in Vancouver from 1938 when the Lionsgate Bridge was almost complete. Okay. And they posted a picture of that online. But I just saw another headline on that same newspaper from 1938. It said,

Last of the Roosevelt's weds Lovely Ann. President's son John has 13 ushers. Whoa. Whoa. I wonder who Lovely Ann was. Is that like... She's probably Ann Roosevelt. Did she get no last name?

Maybe this was a story people were following in the tabloids for months. Sure, lovely. I'm sure they knew. Will you guys hang on one second? Somebody has delivered something outside my door, and it's ice cream, speaking of diarrhea. Go, go, go, go, go! And it's been there for an hour, and I didn't know.

Hang on. What was it? Is it good? Is it soft? Is it okay? The ice cream ice cream okay it's gonna harden again it was so funny because i ordered like probably if it has to be it has to be it's not hard yet i ordered a bunch of like pints of ice cream at you know to like delivered and uh for me and my friend to eat when we watch it just like that nice and usually like if i order food the

the front desk like beeps me and they're like sending them up and then always i i have like a little note in my whenever i order from like a delivery place that's like you don't have to knock on the door because i'm not coming to the door just leave it outside i'll be there in a second you know what i mean i know they're. Yeah. And nobody ever obeys that. And I can never come to the door. Like if I'm home, I don't have pants on. So you know what I mean?

So like I'm not coming to the door. And this is the only time in the year and a half I've lived in this apartment that they didn't knock and they obeyed the note and it's ice cream. And it's been out there an hour. They didn't even like knock a little bit. It's not in like any kind of cold packaging. No, just like a plastic bag. It's not in like Any kind of cold packaging No Just like a plastic bag It's fine

I mean It survived Like Who invented the kind of I feel like It became a thing on TV shows Of characters just eating

Out of the pint Yeah I'll do it Yeah I will too But growing up We always just got the brick But Yeah I'd never seen a pint of

It's like weird things like that Like I don't know when the first time I saw a pint of ice cream was, but I definitely had moved out of my parents' house. Yeah, I saw it on TV. It was like, and it was a sign that, oh, I had a bad date. I'm eating, you know. Right. Chinese food

out of the box. Yes, yeah, like an old detective that that's all he has left in his apartment. Oh, yeah. Sniff? Yeah. All right. I'll try it. Anyway, so apparently this guy had 13 ushers at his wedding and that was

a big thing in 1938. Like, who would count? Who's numbering the ushers today? I don't know. I wonder if there was just as many bridesmaids to match up. are ushers and groomsmen the same thing or did that did that change over time because i've been ushered at i've been ushers at weddings where i was not invited to be groomsmen yeah no i've been an

usher as well and you're not you're not connected to the oh i don't even think i've i've seen such fanciful weddings with ushers and groomsmen. I'm stumped. Basically, all you do is say, this is the bride's side. This is the groom's side. Your mom says, can you, you know, go get busy, Dave. Go be an usher. And I'm like, I have to pee, though. I don't think I've been to a wedding with an usher.

I don't hang out in these societal circles that you guys do. I've been to Usher's wedding. Yeah, well, that's different. Yeah, that was something really different. A lot of people were sad that he was off the market. He didn't do wedding vows so much as he did confessions. Here's your next phone call. no Graham what's your overheard My overheard is a woman

In Halifax Nova Scotia Woman standing talking to her friend We were waiting to cross the street And one of them said She said I love Carrie Underwood I was like you're 15 What do you know about Carrie Underwood? Carrie Underwood isn't for young people.

What does that even mean? I don't know. But maybe, I don't know. Like, sometimes it's funny when, like, a teenager knows who Paul Simon is or something. Yeah. You're like, oh, cool. But it's like, you really have to do some hard living before you know who the winner of american idol season two is oh that is so funny okay because i was like yeah isn't that like i didn't even know who that is until you just said i knew it was a singer

yeah yeah but um one of the early seasons yeah but yeah she's the only thing i know about her is she's very beautiful and she sings a song about beating up a guy's car. Yeah. Oh, that one. So do you think the person was like, what do you know from the pain she sings about? Is it like that kind of thing? Yeah.

You don't know Carrie Underwood the way I do. Oh, that is so funny. It's like, yeah, like a white kid with a Che Guevara shirt. It's like, you don't know anything about Che Guevara. They're like, I know about Che Diaz. Uh,

now we also have, uh, overheard sent in by guests all over the place. If you want to send one in, you can send it into SP spy at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Matt in Omaha, Nebraska. I was at a park with some kids chasing each other around.

One says, I'm Superman. Another goes, I'm Superman. The third guy goes, I'm Superman and Spider-Man. And then another kid goes, I'm John Cena. Trying to one-up. Do you know John Cena trying to one up do you know John Cena Jen?

do I know him? excuse me he follows me on Twitter shut up he's like weirdly into like he started following me like during some rant about like all these rapists and comedy

and he was like i got your back like he's all into like no like rape culture in wrestling or something oh yeah good for him i'm into no john zena in comedy oh my god i just went to his um twitter page he's from massachusetts so he probably weekends in maine He probably just sensed a fellow. No, I really don't know what his, I mean, he follows like 600,000 people. Yeah. But he has tweeted at me

and I don't know why he's passionate about like rape culture, but you know, God bless. Yeah. I never trust anyone who is. I'm trying to see. I'm not going to give him like some big heads up, big heads up,

big props. Big props. Big heads up. Because then it'll be on record. Yeah. It'll be on record that Jen supports this guy after it turns out to be a monster. Yeah. Totally.

Totally. You know, his, one of his things is that he's the most requested Make-A-Wish guy, and he has never turned down an invite to make an appearance. He does that all in secret, or does he? Or does he, because how do you know about it? Okay, maybe he is a good person, then.

I think he's all right, yeah. He made cargo shorts a big deal. Or jorts, right? Yes, yeah. Yeah. He wasn't a fashion plate, this John Cena. I really kind of want to know who else is on the list of the most requested Make-A-Wish people. Spider-Man, Superman.

Chris Novoselic. Oh, shut up. I just went on my Twitter. John Cena follows me, too. How do you like that? Fuck. Huh. You just stole my thunder. I didn't mean to. I wanted to contribute to your thunder. Like we're John Cena buddies.

Well, now I have to look. What if he only follows you because he saw you and me tweeting once and he's like, any friend of Jen is a friend of mine. Yeah, that's what I think. I think that's... Does he follow you? He not unfortunately the best i can do is melissa joan hart that's pretty good that's not shabby at all yeah no but she's one of these people who everyone was like one day everyone was like hey melissa joan hart suddenly followed me tay diggs suddenly followed me oh tay diggs oh dream the dream someone just like they hired

a publicist who's like yeah i'm gonna follow the million most popular people on twitter yeah i hate that when you think it's special it still is it is still special uh this this up this next one is from mark in vancouver i was in the west end and two guys were in front of their apartment talking and the one guy says to the other the rumor going around is that the end of the date i asked him for gas money what a great way to like just stick it to somebody like well he asked for gas money at the end of the day. Oh, that's good. I love also the rumor going around. Like, how did that rumor get back? Yeah.

Well, and I mean, it sounds almost too real to be fake. You know what I mean? It does sound like something. Oh, yeah, that's real. Yeah, it's totally real, right? It's like, yeah, that's brilliant. Yeah, it is. So next time you're mad at somebody, start that as a rumor.

It'll stick. Yeah. It's like Richard Gere and the gerbil. Oh, yes. Like people believe that even though it's ludicrous. I still believe that one. Yeah, me too. Well, I just believe someone's done it.

Maybe it wasn't him, but somebody had to. It had to be someone in Pretty Woman. so yeah maybe jason alexander uh this last one comes from david c um i i was in line at hershey park the girl next to me 10 about 10 or 13 says my dad went on a long rant one time he said any prisoners who have no chance of getting out should be left in space because then they get a cool experience of going to space before they die it doesn't even make sense yeah i guess like it's just one last kick you know kick of the can before you blow up it's like yeah don't use all these resources keeping people alive if

they're just going to die in prison give them the chance to go to space and die yeah yeah exactly that's one of the things the judge can sentence it's really like make a wish for prison it seems like it would be way more expensive but what do i know yeah i don't know yeah yeah it does seem expensive but is it more expensive to keep somebody in a prison for 30 years? Or is it, you know what I mean? Now with so many space technologies? I don't know. I still think it's more expensive to send them to space.

I could be wrong. I could be wrong. No, I think you're right. I think you're right. But are they just going to orbit forever? Like their corpse is going to just orbit? Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. That is fucking weird. It's the same, you know, when people die on everest they just leave them up there oh yeah yeah this would just leave the the space corpses would you want to do that graham go to space well like die in space if you knew if you were given the option yeah i would i'd like to see the world From that distance And then Just pop Like a piece of popcorn Yeah I'd like to What's the song about

From a distance I'd like to look at the world From a distance Yes Yeah Like God is watching How God is watching God is watching

Is that Bette Midler From a distance Bette Midler Yeah That's what the song was about Exploding in space Yeah Is that Bette Midler? Bette Midler, yeah. That's what the song was about. Exploding in space.

A lot of people don't know that. Well, we support Bette Midler as we do everyone who shares my birthday. In addition to overheards that are written and we also accept your phone calls, if you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh.

SpyPod1, like these people have. Hi, Dave Graham and probable guest. This is Emily from Oregon calling in an overheard. My husband was putting our four-year-old to bed, and they're playing one of those kid games where they make up some crazy rules to delay the inevitable. So she has made up a game where she has to mouth words, and he has to guess what she's saying. So she's just moving her mouth silently, and he's saying silly things like, oh, you love Daddy the most, and you want to give him all your candy. And she's laughing and saying, no, no, that's not what I'm saying.

Watch my mouth really closely and in a stage whisper she goes i hate your wife so i guess i've been demoted to parent number two officially now yikes oh man wow or does the kid know that he has another wife somewhere or is it a stepmom situation yeah exactly yeah yeah like is this the bio mom like it sounded like it it sounded like bio mom which was i believe the sequel to biodome i know it's stuff like that that's like oh my god kids you know they're so cute they say crazy things it's weird when they just like who knows what's firing in her brain when she says that. Like she heard at some point that this mother of hers is also white to her dad.

But it sounds like like I would be like, we need to get a priest like an exorcism. Like our child is like satanic. Like there's something like really scary about that. It is. Yeah. It's like, you know, Poltergeist or something. Not Poltergeist, The Exorcist. Yeah, like you say, it is.

Yeah, it sounds like a bond has been broken between mother and child. Like the child is just fully differentiated and it's just like, yeah, get out of here. I don't know. I'm scared. I'm scared too, yeah. I'm scared too. I hope that lady's not mad at me I'm sure it's cute

you know what this is a live podcast she'll call in and tell us if she's mad at you right I forgot all podcasts are live yeah all podcasts are live yes next phone call hi Dave and Graham and my favorite guest this is Chris calling from New Jersey with an overhurry.

I was with my wife in the hospital waiting room, and there was a TV in the corner of the room that I could hear playing the morning news, and it was right before a commercial break, and I heard the news anchor say in a very news anchoring voice, Coming up, her nighttime walk-on terribly wrong. We'll talk to a woman who was kicked in the head by a moose.

Well, off I go. Surprise twist. It's not a horse. It's not the normal thing that happens when a woman's kicked in the head. This was by a moose. Talk about a nosebleed. God, I don't even think of moose, like,

kicking. No, me neither. They seem like they walk slow. But if you tickle them, just as a reaction, you know. They're apparently very fast and enormous. Oh, yeah. No, I wouldn't want to square off against a moose. No. Oh, well, now you're saying that. Just any moose

listeners, off-air, Graham was saying he could beat you up. wear off against a moose no oh well now you're saying that just any moose listeners off air graham was saying he could beat you up now he sees say he's reeling it back off air jen was saying john cena's gonna be good forever there's uncancellable i do love that newscaster voice though. Yeah. Yeah. Moose. Moose. All that.

And Panda mania at the zoo. Not monium. Yeah. Okay. Your final phone call. Hey, Dave Graham and guest drone. God,

Gary, was it overheard? Uh, I went, my, my, my, my,

my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my,

my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my went my oh my god my wife took me to a fleetwood mac concert and she technically said this right to me but it would have been someone else's overheard uh they were playing landslide and uh she turns to me and says oh my god they're covering dixie chicks yes yeah it happened yeah no doubt but you have nothing to say about this Dave because you didn't know if American Woman was originally

done by Lenny Kravitz I honestly don't know I told you I still don't know like you're saying it was the Guess Who and I don't know if I believe you

well that brings us to the end of this here podcast Jen thank you so much for being a guest this has been so much fun this was fantastic worth the melted ice cream yeah no I hope your

ice cream is okay personally I find that very upsetting that ice cream may have been ruined no no I put it right in the freezer it freezes right back up it's all good no you guys this was a delight. It was nice to see your faces, too. I like that, you know, people podcast over Zoom now.

We could see each other, but no one else has to see us. And if, you know, if you want to send your thoughts about the new season of Just Like That, I'm open. I'm ready to communicate with anybody about that. Cause, uh, I don't know anybody here in town that is watching it. Oh, I will be in touch.

Okay, good, good, good, good. Um, and you can, uh,

hear Jen, uh, online with her podcast, no fun with Jen Kirkman. Uh, it's so much fun. That podcast is so great. And,

uh, thank you. call in every week uh call in she's taking calls live it happens during drive time uh taking calls live got me two other people we're making fart jokes like you know it's you know what it is it's a podcast she doesn't tour anymore but she is planning a big comedy concert right yeah i don't tour stand up i just do comedy concerts so got a lot going on you do um well thank you for being our guest and uh thank you everybody out there for uh listening to the podcast uh i hope you all can enjoy ice cream and its many many forms including space ice cream and diarrhea. Absolutely.

Diarrhea inducing ice cream. So take care of that. Enjoy yourself. And come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fun A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly

by you.