Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 800 - Sean Clements

Episode Date: July 18, 2023

Comedian Sean Clements joins us to talk memorable episodes, tennis scoring songs, and iPad tricks.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 800 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who just could not be more thrilled. The man that I wouldn't host a podcast to 800 episodes with anybody else. Mr. Dave Shubka. Hi Graham, what a treat to be here. So do you remember our 500th episode yeah we did a we did like a we

didn't start the fire thing with little jokes from the show yes and then today i saw that a certain band released their own we didn't start the fire That included everything since Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire. Whoa. Holy shit. And that band is Fall Out Boy. Nice. Nice. Fall Out Boy. And so if you wanted to know if, what did they rhyme?

Did they put themselves in it for the early 2000s? They rhymed Pokemon with Oklahoma City Bomb. Nice. Nice. They didn't put themselves in it, but they did mention the Black Parade, which I believe is just a My Chemical Romance reference. And they also mentioned tom delong uh and aliens these are big events these are all equally big events but also alongside like what's 9-11 what's the rhyme with on 9-11 oh it's the very last line of the song uh world trade second plane what else do

i have to say nice wow wow okay we gotta get our guest in on this because his eyes are bugging so big on this uh you may know him from his fantastic podcast that just celebrated 500 episodes uh hollywood hambock hambock hollywood hambock sean clements everybody hi hey thanks thank you for being a guest oh gosh thanks for having me first of all fallout boy would not have been my pick yeah you should do the new we didn't start the fire who would be your pick i'm very curious well and you know i'm not just pandering to my canadian hosts probably bare naked ladies i think are who can handle it in terms of singing fast and listing a bunch of specifics i don't think you're gonna do a lot better um that's true that is true i mean they

haven't been at it as much you know of late but i think that that could have been good or like what if like bieber did it yeah i mean it's not his style but just he's got the gravitas you know like that like yeah like who is as big now as billy joel was at that time because he was saying this is what's culturally important not everyone would have put the suez trouble in the suez but he followed that story and so that was you know important now they do they they do also mention the suez the suez made both versions of the song? Yeah, the Suez made both. They also have, you know, in the first one, they had JFK blown away.

Uh-huh. This one, they had Shinzo Abe blown away. The former Japanese prime minister. Yeah, that... Wow, so... I don't know, like, it seems like they were concerned with matching, like, the rhyme scheme of it, which

would not be the most important thing to me. I honestly think, and we don't have to do it, and I didn't prepare for it, but a good episode of really any podcast, and look for it on Hollywood handbook suit would be writing the new lyrics for like a modern day. We didn't start the fire. I'm sure there's probably 10 podcasts that have done it,

but when I start doing it, it becomes really special. Yeah. Yeah. This is, we need to, we need to spread this as far as possible. I'm sure tons of bands have been like we we should do this this should be us but no one had the balls until yeah prodigy did a fire starter and they were the fire starters right

that wouldn't have worked well when rem did end of the world as we know it it had to feel like this is we're doing we're doing the new we didn't say which one was first yeah they're about the same they were pretty close yeah yeah is there a third song like that can we get a fact check um let's see with like historical nods is that or just really fast talking but not rapping okay 89 was we didn't start the fire my assumption was the rem one was like 92 or something um but let's see i think it's probably 87 the world as we know it uh now what year was it 87 yeah fuck dude 87 wow so billy joel was ripping them off i guess so yeah huh that's weird to think that's uh but it yeah and then but culturally it's become

the more significant yeah it, it mentions more stuff. The R.E.M. song just mentions a lot of people whose names start with the letters L.B. Right. Should we get to know us? Sure. Get to know us. Sean, welcome to the show.

Boy, there's just one more line I want to mention. It's really not fair because I have all the lyrics in front of me. Explosion, Lebanon, Unabomber, Bobbitt, John. Oh, that's pretty good. Bobbitt, John. That's good.

They could have rhymed Hobbit and Bobbitt. Yeah, they could have. I mean, John Bobbitt from the early 90s like uh sort of national inquirer days yeah you could have gotten jeff galooly you could have gotten buttafuoco yeah buttafuoco feels like it goes right in there is no buttafuoco is not in there buttafuoco is not in there but if we didn't make the cut is urkel in there did they talk about urkel no no urkel shit but tom delong's in there but if we're gonna make the cut is urkel in there did they talk about urkel no no urkel shit but tom delong's in there yeah tom delong tiger king all respect to blink 182 urkel was a bigger deal urkel was huge he healed the nation i like to think harder to rhyme though um angela merkel oh yeah

damn it no we we did start that was easy yeah yeah oh wow wow good for a follow boy i mean it's not a perfect rhyme but it could be like you know what whoever urkel vinnie chasing turtle like and then you're like yeah that would be you know that's sort of your tv verse yeah i don't know if they even really touched on tv and they didn't get into entourage either is what they didn't get entourage tv or the movie okay great yeah i'm gonna listen to this sounds like dog shit yeah great song you ever had the the idea of maybe memorizing it for karaoke just blowing everybody we didn't start the fire yeah um go up there and do it perfectly you know i mean there definitely was a period in my life where i uh had taped the song loser by back off the radio and like play you know played a line and wrote it down and played a line and wrote it down and learned all the words to that um nice

uh that's that's my vivid memory of memorizing a sort of a challenging song like that that had a lot of lyrics um that's cool but i never did it with we didn't start the fire and it didn't really occur to me um i mean the hot thing now right is to know the whole fast part of the blues traveler um hook song oh sure that's what's cool now that's what you'll see people do at a karaoke thing where it's like, I know. It's like a TikTok trend or something. Yeah. Is it, are you a karaoke person? I've done it.

I don't shy away from it. No? I got a couple moves. Yeah? Do you have a signature song? I'll sing the shit out of Don't look back in anger by oasis now it's not always the right time for that song and that's more of an end of the night song um that's true but yeah i can i i can hit that one pretty good. In my youth, I would do Creep by Radiohead, which does bring the mood down.

Yeah, that's true. That's a real high point. Yeah, settle things down. We do occasionally on the basketball podcast that I do with Carl Tartt and Hayes Davenport called The Flagrant Ones. We will rewrite the lyrics to a song. We'll do a song parody about, um, something that's going on in the NBA. Oh, holy shit. So every week you do this?

No, not every week. Um, we did at one point, like someone would bring in a song every week. Uh, and then now it's on occasion, but I did last week i think uh and and so i get my karaoke uh itch scratch by doing that because i have them pull up a karaoke track and then i will have changed the lyrics to like happiness is a warm gun to be about like the second pick in the nba draft um yeah just a really natural thing that people would do yeah i heard that that was good um uh i enjoyed that i enjoyed uh there was another one you had a couple years ago that i really like well of course it was big pants for sean sean put on a little bit of weight during during covid i put on some weight so i wrote a song that was not about the NBA that was since you've been gone,

but it was called Big Pants for Sean because I, I had needed to purchase a larger pant in order to be comfortable. And I believe there was a long December by Counting Crows in there somewhere. Yeah. And that I actually have not found at karaoke very often like it's like this huge band but the karaoke places i've been to the past couple times i look for that song because that is one of only two songs i know how to play on the piano and i would love to sing that for uh for a crowd sometime that'd be amazing if you were out at like a classy place that had a piano player and you asked them to step aside.

Yeah. Can you please move? I'd like to sort of plunk my way through a very clumsy version of long December and get the verses slightly out of order. Yeah. And then, uh, and I think people are really going to enjoy that. Um,

but I did want to a long December. That's right. Can you do that? Would you piano players step aside ever? They may not know how to handle it. I don't think that people usually ask. So then like, if you go up and just go like, I need you to move aside.

I need to get on the keys. I believe that they're like, I'm in the middle of a moment. You're a piano player. Are gonna take a stand yeah that's true like you're you're not gonna get in a fight you have delicate piano playing hands so what are you what are you gonna do you're gonna just back off right away i think it would be good if you if like a cop came up and flashed his badge and said i'm gonna need the piano for the next four minutes. I'm trying to impress a girl. I'm undercover and I'm trying to prove I'm a musician.

So you can play two songs. Dave, you can play quite a few songs on the piano. I look them up and then I forget them. I gotta say, after I heard this one, I heard this follow boy song this morning. I tried, we didn't start the fire.

No, I can't, I can't play something that like a piano player plays. That's the secret, right? Like you can learn a song by like a pop band that did a song on piano or occasionally does songs on piano because yeah they're often guitar players who like just have have gone and like sort of transferred the chords over in a way but they

don't know all the little flourishes and tricks you're sure right there's um uh i mean obviously i can play the four notes from closing time and that's a good one to bump the piano player off and be like, I know how to wrap this shit up, sir. Yeah. That's about it. As far as what I can remember offhand, that's not bad.

I can't play anything. I don't have, I don't even have part of a song. I think, uh, well, he takes some time and you could memorize the hand movements for a couple of songs and then you will forget them within a few months.

And you'll go, wow, I spent like a year because I spent a lot of COVID learning like half a dozen songs on piano. And I basically I remember Long December, but for the most part, it all went out of my head. It's just I'm too old to learn it oh yeah no that's not true does your brain they say you're supposed to start things early yeah i think your brain is like not not gonna do it george w bush hw hw bush well you think george w bush never said it oh you think maybe they did it at the dinner table? You don't think he ever said not going to do it? Yeah.

Not going to eat it. I'm sorry. Oh, no, no. I don't buy it. Yeah, his dad's trying to make him finish his vegetables. He's 40 at the time. Uh-uh, daddy. Not going to do it. gonna do it not gonna do you go to your room yeah um yeah uh when's the last because i'm now i'm trying to think of the last time i actually

learned something like sat down and actually tried to learn something and i think you don't you don't want to go down that road it's a long and winding road yeah yeah it's not pleasant yeah like i always wanted to learn another language never did nope uh piano thought that would be neat to do never did saxophone never did those are the thing musical instruments and languages when you're a kid obviously you should learn that because yeah as a kid you can but you don't want to and then as an adult you want to know it but your brain can't take it in yeah yeah i think it's like how community college

kind of makes their their money is they get people who are older thinking they can learn another language but they know they can't but they still get their money by the end so that's i'll do it did you try to learn any um languages over covid um no you know i got that duolingo app at one point and i was doing the exercises pretty faithfully and and i guess if i stuck with it maybe i would have some kind of functional spanish now um right what's long december in spanish oh wow i'm not gonna know because i didn't stick with the lessons there are a handful of words that i know but they're like the names of colors and fruits and stuff and i'm sure these are both words that are very similar to the english like lime juice like longo december or something yeah i don't know i know it's like Longo Decembre or something. Yeah. I don't know. I know it feels like it feels dicey to me the entire area. It doesn't feel like I should be guessing at a foreign language.

It's just like making similar sounds to how it sounds to me. That's not modern comedy. Yeah, I guess. Once upon a time. Yeah. I mean, I guess sometimes it's just not even about comedy

it's just about being real yeah yeah yeah and that's why i can't play colleges anymore do i know that word a bunch of animal names i know yeah agua oh agua you gotta go for it should we go through it i mean yeah all right let's do it okay kaneho okay that's a rabbit cabras a goat uh let's see manzanas an apple um i think uh this is estrella a star um uh yeah I know there's a handful of nouns that I can kind of get in there with. Do you think you could order in a Mexican restaurant where nobody is speaking English? Do you think you could do it?

Do you think you could figure out, you know, especially if there's an allergy involved or something like that? Do you think you could? Well, you threw the allergy thing at me. I didn't think I was was gonna be competing with that i mean i like what's the allergy um you know uh i'm gonna say like shrimp uh crustacean i well i could say no camarones right that would be that's pretty good yeah yeah i'd say okay but what am i ordering this shrimp is just one element that i'm concerned about i think i get through an order yeah like a little bit of convo maybe at

the end like what are you guys doing after this i'd be i'd be pretty stuck on what i'm allowed to drink like i don't drink milk in my life at all, but I'd be like, well, I know leche. Like that's one that I know exactly what I'm getting. And then the guy just kept throwing up and throwing up and we don't know if he got so sick. He ordered it. Maybe he had to have Camarones. Maybe he only can eat shrimp. I don't know.

We didn't, there was a language barrier. Yeah. We told him we speak English, but he insisted. No, no, no. I've got a friend. Not today. You don't know. We didn't, there was a language barrier. Yeah. We told him we speak English, but he insisted. No, no, no.

I've got to practice. Not today. You don't. Not with me. Oh man. Um, well, congratulations on your 500th episode.

That's fantastic. Thanks. Thank you. Every week for how many years? Yeah. We've been doing it for, yeah, for about,

uh, almost 10 years um hollywood handbook uh every week and it's been quite a ride but look who i'm talking to yeah we do this to other people a lot where we go like they're like on their 200th episode and it's like fucking yeah relax we got this i mean uh yeah what it differentiates one episode from another after like it it feels like 800 of the same thing yeah but we like we haven't had anybody like have a breakdown or something like that that really like stands out as being kind of off kilter for yeah but i'm not ruling it out i'm not ruling it out like a really you haven't had a there there's not like a unique and i apologize i didn't read up on

this a unique episode in your show's lore where it's like the the famous episode of like someone being awful like for us it's we had paulie shore and like paulie shore did not want to be there and it was pretty early in the show and he hated us and we did not help we weren't it's not like we were kicking ass but the vibe wasn't good and he like was giving us the wrap it up sign like immediately and so and so that became like a famous episode we started explaining what the show was and he was like what would happen if i just walk out and we were like let's record yeah yeah what and how did you walk in in the first place uh i don't know um it was like one of those things where i think he had been like i want to do comedy bang bang and the like earwolf Booker people were like,

no, but do you want to do this other show? And he was like, all right. And then he walked in. He was like, wait. Um,

uh, so that, yeah, that was like frequently referenced as a particular episode. And then we had obviously one where we performed at comic-con to an audience of people who like did not know what the show was and did not enjoy it at all that also became a well-done episode for us but you after 800 there's no like landmark ones yeah graham what's what's the one that what stands to you? This is a fun trip down memory lane. There was one, maybe in the first year,

where there was a duo, a sketch duo, or improv duo. Oh, sure. And the one guy was playing along and having fun, and the other guy was stonewalling us like every question we asked him. He was completely shutting it down. And then at some point, I made fun of the superhero thor and he got like really actually like super angry about that i was just saying like thor sucks he just got a hammer

and he did he was like very upset and wouldn't he wouldn't participate anywhere after that well and you told me the night before you had done a show and this guy had been in the audience and was drunk and heckled you. He heckled me. Yeah. And then I, uh, yeah, he was just such a,

the other guy was great. Like his partner was fantastic, but like this guy just, yeah, he didn't want to be there. Didn't want to come on. He probably knew that it was me that he heckled the night before. And he's like,

I'm not going to go fucking, that guy sucks. I'm not going to run his podcast. Yeah. We do get a lot of that guy sucks that that's why i didn't bring hayes here because he would have just been fucking with you the whole time he just doesn't like your thing which i'm like these guys seem nice they're funny but he was just like not to me man there yeah i get we did i there was a point where i tried to book hayes on the show because he was coming up to Vancouver for a little while. You went to him first?

Well, because we, we were recording in person. We were recording in person for a long time, Sean. And Hayes was coming up to Vancouver to make a show and I, uh, I, uh, sent him a message message he was like yeah yeah sure um and then he uh i believe the next day retired from tv writing yep yeah that was when he had to pack it in it was like either that or do your show yeah i'm just trying to think of any other memorable moments well there was one that we did like very early on where we were we did the whole podcast and then it turned out we weren't recording with a guy named josh stubbs so then we stayed and did another whole podcast that we properly recorded and we kind of like recapped what we had just not yeah yeah and then yeah hayes did one that i wasn't there for i believe with jesse david fox uh famous comedy writer for vulture um who has his own

podcast about comedy now and i think he hayes sharpling and jesse recorded an episode together and it was not it was something went wrong with the file and it never uh got recorded or re-recorded or released so it's like a lost episode we had another one yeah we still released those but i don't think yeah i don't think there was any audio or something and like yeah we'll do that we'll still release that you'll put it out with no audio yeah yeah say this is just the title yeah well yeah and like yeah we know roughly how long it was and before we got smart about recording the whole zoom call there was an episode that we did with a woman from toronto named peter judaki and we did the whole podcast and my uh file got corrupted so then dave sent their two tracks and then i went through it and put my

own voice in where i thought where the pauses were as a bonus episode that's pretty cool yeah it's uh it's been a long journey um i was the one that i was thinking of graham was when john dore decided the episode was over and farted into the microphone yeah yeah walked out of the room uh uh john dore sort of the canadian poly shore that's how i think of him oh man what was poly short was he promoting something or why was he just wanted to be on no no i was in a way i was surprised to see him a little bit um we hadn't you know we hadn't prepped anything that he was gonna like uh but yeah i think he had just new podcasts were becoming something comedy people he knew were doing podcasts i think he still was around the

comedy store or whatever and then was like oh i should do this and then ended up on one that he didn't want to be on yeah i wonder if he ever started his own you know what i think he did oh yeah i see it right here paulie the paul polyshore podcast show 27 episodes that's not bad that's a couple oh with you know here's some guests ziggy marley okay good jaleel white okay netflix cco ted sarandos okay okay that is a good conversation those two together it's a good mix they just really know how to jam the two of them i love to talk to ted love to talk to paulie but to be a fly on the wall for the two of them uh anybody else notable oh yeah i mean they're all good come on this guy was at the peak of

hollywood he was like yeah that's right a list movie star at one point yeah so yeah tia carrera oh tia carrera okay yeah yeah that's him starting the show yeah um yeah he i mean look he had his time he had his his uh fame and fortune and now you should just be able to relax he doesn't need to do a podcast he's probably sure well yeah and he sort of said that he was telling us like before we started recording about how the secret really is like to buy property and rent it out and that like being a landlord was sort of the secret really is like to buy property and rent it out. And that like being a landlord was sort of the secret to life and that he was making so much money off of this Malibu house that he bought that he was like never intended to live in.

And that like, he's like ranking out for so much money and he like barely had to do anything to it. And we were going like, Oh cool. Yeah, we will do that too thank you uh yeah thank you real hot tip can you imagine if your landlord was paulie sure oh my god it's not ideal call him it's not ideal yeah nothing's perfect that's right there's a lot of weird clauses

vis-a-vis the juice yeah you apparently you have to wheeze the juice yeah every day we're supposed to wheeze the juice yeah he sees you drink a juice out of a glass comes while he stomps through the door knocks it out of your hand flings it the room. Did you wheeze this at all? Wheeze it! Now, growing up in Canada, I knew Pauly Shore as a famous person. What does wheezing the juice mean? I know this is like a catchphrase. Well, in the film Encino Man, which is my first real exposure to it,

the film and see no man which is my first real exposure to it he goes over i think to the slurpee machine and starts running the spigot directly into his mouth yeah and he's like and he's saying that he's wheezing the juice oh right and the the men behind the counter the the uh owner of the shop or the manager is saying no wheezing the juice right so did that phrase not exist before that well he had created a character for himself known as the weasel like when he was on mtv he was like i'm the weasel you know and that was like his thing and so i believe wheezing the juice was drinking the juice like a weasel would um maybe going off of even like the way lab rats drinking out of the little like spigot sort of water bottle thing in there but like i don't know but somehow him being the weasel and him drinking

the juice directly out of the tap were connected yeah yeah i guess i did know that like because i saw encino man i just assumed there was more to it okay you asked me i know i guess i yeah no you're right but i just wondered if there was like if something existed before well what existed before was the character of the weasel was that he was known as the weasel what is the how does the character of the weasel where does that end and where does Pauly Shore begin? Oh, that's a question even he can't answer. But that's also like having like Ernest in your movie as Ernest. Well, do I agree with that? I think that often comedians have created something of a character for themselves,

an onstage persona or an on-camera persona. And that when you hire them for your movie you are hiring that persona so when i go to see about my father am i expecting to see a raw vulnerable version of sebastian maniscalco the man or am i expecting to see essentially mr maniscalco's weasel which is you know he's got this very big persona on stage i'm sure he's not doing all the time now some of it's probably bled into his his personal life and to to dave's question of where the weasel ends and where paulie begins i i think that those lines probably get pretty blurry and it's happened for me. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Who's your persona? It's just, it's, it's this, I mean, it's not interesting, but it's certainly not sincere.

Fair. Yeah, that's fair. Um, but if you were cast in something you would play do you have you heard about anything what's the scuttlebutt is something casting i'll go on tape i've got a ring light graham looks like he's lost us graham lost his headphones oh boy boy. Right when, right when I'm being funny.

Do you, have you noticed that? Uh, yeah, it's so convenient that like, if I kind of get something going, like my bid about like, you know,

I want to do an audition or like, he's going to somehow plug me in. And it's like, just convenient that he would lose, that he would lose audio at that very moment. I noticed when, when, when Graham's got a juicy bit going, audio's fine. Yeah. We're back.

Is everyone back? I'm here. I'm here. Are you a person that acts? Do you go to auditions? Or are you not part of that world? or are you not part of that world? Well, I guess it is the kind of information that's freely available online.

No, but my computer says you saw that. But a quick Google search away for you. No, I'm happy. I'm always happy to do do the host research so I have acted in things I would say that primarily I'm a writer my

career really is that I'm a writer at this point but I will take acting jobs I was on a few episodes of a few different shows um did a curb i was on curbs nice um there was a show that i a couple shows that i work for one called making history that is you know basically gone from the internet but that i uh it was on fox that i i did like

three episodes of and there's a show called kevin can fuck himself on amc that starred canada's own annie murphy um canadian treasure uh that i was in a few episodes of of season one as well um when i lived in new york i was um before i'd gotten any writing work i was really surviving as a commercial actor i've done like three cell phone commercials nice are you the guy that's frustrated with his phone are you the guy that no no my phone's working great my phone saves my life in multiple situations yeah okay now is this a flip phone error or this uh smartphone error the first one that i did was for the singular blackjack which i believe was a flip phone um where can i get that can i still get that the singular blackjack yeah well i you know i got

screwed because singular got bought by at&, so they stopped running the commercial. But there may be some version of it available, and I'd use it. I mean, it was so easy to put music on it, even if you didn't know the lyrics. I can envision someone having no problem at all putting the song, Rock the Casbah,bah onto their singular blackjack but then struggling to correctly sing the chorus of the song throughout the rest of the 30 seconds we observed them for oh man when was the last time when did you guys graduate from flip phone to smartphone because i feel like i was quite late

to the game i feel like i still had a flip phone when i was really late to the cell phone game at all like i was pretty much the last person that i knew who had a cell phone i had gotten one i was like sometimes my mom would give me hers if she was like needed felt like she would need to get in touch with me or something but i like just refused to own one um but part of that was that i was a an active drug addict and did not want people to be able to contact me so i was just like i was like why would i want a way for people to either know where i am or know that i am actively ignoring them because i don't want to tell them where i am it was just like i cannot have this uh with me at any time um so then that changed and i got a phone and then i also was late

to i like held on to i got a blackberry oh shit yeah canada's own uh which by the way the movie fucking was great i loved the blackberry movie oh was it was it did you see it no is it really good it's great it's really good shit um i loved it uh but yeah i had a blackberry and i hung on to that for a while didn't want to go to the iphone fair enough yeah but now i'm like everybody else i'm maybe i'll go flip phone um no i'm trying to use my phone less and flip phone feels like there's not a lot of things to do on it so i might read books and stuff instead well no yeah get a flip phone but my problem is i can't stop flipping it. Yeah. Okay. That was a time in my life. Oh, I was flipping.

I was doing tricks. I did the little, it was like I had a tech deck, but it was my phone. Cool. That's pretty good. I did definitely, like when I had the flip phone,

I wouldn't say goodbye to people. It was very satisfying. All right. Okay. A little clamshell. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah yeah that kicked ass

um dave yeah what's going on with you my friend well uh not much is going on with me i have a thing that's been going through my head for a number of weeks uh i so sean i know sean uh you you played tennis quite a bit growing up i I did, yeah. Someone does their host research. That's why I don't. And I play tennis with my father now and I'm not very good but I kick his ass.

Oh, I wipe the floor with this guy. This 80 year old man. That can feel pretty good. But I've noticed when I'm playing tennis, I like to try to keep score. But it gets a little, there's no one keeping score for us. And I can't hear him from that far away.

And so I just kind of like try to repeat the score before every point in my head. That's classic. But then that gets a little repetitive and so i have a bunch of little songs that i sing uh for certain scores um like uh obviously graham knows that after the first game uh when it's one love i always say one love one love bob marley on the court uh yeah maybe i i it with a little, I put a little mustard on it. One love, one love, Bob Marley on the court.

A little something like that. Oh, okay, yeah. But mostly I'm talking about the points within the game. And there's another level of detail to this. After the first point, Sean, what's the score? If the server wins the first point sean what's the score if the server gets wins the first point 15 love yeah do you have you ever encountered people who refer to 15 as five sometimes you say five yeah yeah we're a five family yeah five love so um and then if it's five and then if it's five all do you say five all do you say five up i say five five five five oh yeah i don't i don't agree

with that but i i do like but mostly you'd say 15 if you say 15 you say 15 all but if you say five i find that people tend to say five up okay which i like well i'm uh so i'm trying to come up with a full roster of songs to sing for every score possible. Hang on. Do you use the numbers? And I want to get into the songs. Do you use the numbers for like both sides of it? Like if it's 30, all do you say 30,

30? Uh, yeah. Oh, you got to start using all 30 all. Yeah. 30 all. Sure.

30, 15, 15, 30, but 15 all five up 30 all. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I-30, but 15 all, 5 up, 30 all, yeah. Yeah, I guess I'm sort of interchangeable, I guess. But according to you, it's only all. When both players have the same score,

you don't say the same number twice in the game of tennis, traditionally. Okay. Okay. So is that a course correction for you dave just whether you want to look like a clown but i guess i i'm i guess i don't care yeah i mean i i mean thank you well why even use them why even use 15 or 30 or anything why not just be like it's one nothing and we played a four like it's like that's true just do it or don't these rules these traditions right what do they mean if like what value do they have if we if not for the value we give you know i you

know i used to play a lot of cards and like you play cards and it's like somebody like kind of messes up like they deal out of order or something and it's like it's not the end of the world but you also go like why do we have any rules any function why are we not you know there's a reason we're not just flinging the cards around the room right like it's not it's not chaos because that wouldn't be a game so once you've decided i'm engaging with the game you might as well go all the way let's use the rules okay yeah okay but uh what's the song tell me the song let's hear these so when i do five when it's five love obviously i sing from brian wilson by the ladies when he says uh you can call me pavlov's dog i sing you can call me Pavlov's dog, I sing, you can call me Five Love's dog.

Okay, that's good. So that's good. Second mention of the Barenaked Ladies on this one. Yeah. That's pretty good. Yeah. Of our all-time highs. Okay, we're in flow.

I don't really have anything for Love Five. Uh-huh. It could be Love Shack. I don't know. What about this? Like, ooh love baby oh that's good but i mean there's a little i mean it's a little confusing all the extra loves in there okay because it seems like it's love to love five right right are three people playing well it was love two at some point are three people playing that's is that thing that can happen can i tell you so i had a roommate i

had this roommate that i live with for a long time this is related i promise we're gonna get there really fast and we used to play we don't by the way we don't have to finish mine we should but but this you might like this and you may be able to use this for one of yours because it's in the same zone we used to play yahtzee a lot we would play yahtzee like every night in this apartment and when you're rolling if you have you guys played yahtzee yeah so like you know in the top half you're going at some point you go for like ones twos threes fours fives and sixes at some point during the game so you're like you get three rolls and you're rolling for a specific number like you go okay i got two twos so i'm gonna roll again and

try to get more twos and when we were rolling for twos we would say doctor doctor give me the news i got a bad case of loving twos and we would do that and then also after we had done that for a long time we would say doctor doctor give me the news i got a bad case of love in sixes whatever we decided to go for six so because you are looking for things that have the word love in them maybe you could have a bad case of of love of you know whatever you don't have anything for love five like i have a bad case of love to five or something that's good that's good um i do so 30 love obviously i want to sing baby love by 30 love but yeah okay yeah but i'm kind of saving that for 40 love 40 love yeah okay okay so i i don't know where is there anything with like feels like there's a lot of songs with dirty in them that's what i'm trying to

picture yeah right song and well when it's love 30 i do sing uh gonna get dirty by uh uh christina galera okay oh yeah it's a love 30 it's about time for my arrival uh-huh nice what do you do for do you do like when there's two numbers in it like when it's like 30 15 30 15 yeah i'm trying to come up with anything but like you want everything to 35 yeah what about um caribbean queen for 30 15 that's pretty good that is 30 15 now we're sharing the same dream yeah nice we're sharing the same court yeah and i'm up four games to one playing tennis is fun this just flows out of you yes you've got the gift i think the new show would be good good at this um okay so for 5.30, I sing What Time Is It by the Spin Doctors.

In their song, it's 4.30, but... What time is it? 5.30. I gotta do a little riff. Gotta kill some time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then for 5.00, I call it 5.00, and I sing

High Five by Beck. 5.00, more dead than High Five by Beck. Okay. Five Five, more dead than alive, rocking the castles. That's pretty good. Yeah, and then, so 30 All, I've been just doing the 30 for 30 theme song, which I don't remember. But I think it's like four notes of like, boom, boom, boom, 30 for 30 brought to you by Buick. Right. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Just one of those things where it's like, you know, you're, you're just using a different system than, than I'm familiar with because I would call it 30 all.

And then I would be like, what do we, you know, what do we do with that? Yeah. It'd be like a, all for one and one for all from the three musketeers soundtrack or it's like that basketball song where it's like the score is 30 oh the score is 30 oh that's good that is good

that curtis blow yeah and then 40 love is obviously uh baby love 45 I don't really have a 45 or 4015. Isn't there a song that has 45 in it? It's like an 80s song. Maybe it's, no, maybe it's I Can't Go 55. That's not bad, though. I Can't Drive, yeah. I Can't Drive 45. My Maserati goes 40 to 5.

My Maserati goes 40 to 5. 40, 30. This is like, that feels too hard. Well, what about, do you know the song Let's Get Dirty by Redman? No. You can learn it. Does Redman do the verse on Christina Aguilera's Dirty?

Is Redman throwing an elbow? Maybe, yeah. He talked a lot about getting dirty in my recollection. Sir, what score are you at at this point? I'm losing it. Let's Get Dirty I Can't Get in the Club

is the first single from Redman's 2001 album malpractice so okay that it's pretty good you may like that song why can't he get in the club uh you should check out the song i think you'll really like it and i think it and i think let's get dirty for 40 30 is going to be pretty much a perfect fit and i think you'll find it like kind of catchy why can't he get in the club yeah i can look up the lyrics for you and see if he gets if he digs into it is it because he's too dirty is it like do they have a yeah i think he might be getting too dirty to get in the club like okay let's let's get dirty um okay i'm not you know i'm not gonna read so he

says it's time to put down the cristal it's time to take off the ice for a minute it's time to throw a little mud in this motherfucker okay then you know this is before the song even really starts and then it's like it says and i think this is maybe from the even really starts. And then it's like, it says, and I think this is maybe from the perspective of the bouncer or the club owner. It says, Oh shit. Who's motherfuckers coming in here?

No, it can't be. Ah, and then he's throwing elbows. He says, yo, yo, give me some room.

I'm throwing elbows. So, so he's playing different characters. So then he's like, yeah, it's well, it's the people seeing him coming and then he is transferred to his own perspective and then it's like yes yeah

give me some room that's who was coming it's him he's throwing some elbows timbreland boots air force and shell toes uh so it's like yeah he's wearing every kind of shoe he's gonna top he's gonna pop the trunk and turn the street volume up to 10 so it's like he's not every kind of shoe he's gonna top he's gonna pop the trunk and turn the street volume up to 10 so it's like he's not on the guest list he's not vip he snuck in the exit so he's so there's a lot of reasons he can't get in the club like it's like right he's not he's not fitting the dress code he's not on the guest list he's not he's not a vip um it feels like he just walked into the place yeah and there was a lot of he was throwing mud around at the beginning yeah so i think like whatever i okay yeah no what i like it i guess i fire marshall wants to shut it down

because of some of what he's doing oh of all the nights for the fire marshal to be at the club yeah i think you should check out this song i'll check it out i do you not believe i'm gonna check it out i haven't gotten like a really encouraging response okay oh you know what i'll check it out right now sounds good yeah no no well yeah i got too much work to do that's true we got okay just a few more love 40 love fool yeah that's good that does cross my mind except that in the in love fool she's saying love me and then she's saying fool me so am i am i in my head going love for uh love me love me 40 me 40 me yeah it doesn't it should be yeah oh i thought it was love me 40 yeah it's love me love me say that love 40 yeah yeah that's good yeah you have to

put it into the end there fool me fool me yes it's love 40 uh at 5 40 uh there's a song uh hang on i have the rest of that it's fool me fool me say it's love 40 i need to wait okay i need three more points to get to deuce because you know if you're if it's love 40 you need to win three points to make a deuce which is your only chance to win if it's love 40 i don't know what has gone wrong my i'm double faulting my dad my dad's not hitting three winners in a row if it's yeah if it's love 40 you are melting down your mental game has collapsed i've got the yips because you should be controlling the game with your serve at this point and and it may be the kind of thing where you just punt on the game and like focus your concentration on breaking sir yeah at 540 there's a song that goes 5 10 15 20 25, 40, all that money's still riding the bus.

I don't know who it's by, but it's in my head. And that, I will not be moved on that. Okay. 30, 40, I don't really have anything for. I think 40, 30 was Redman. 30, 40 might just be Redman again. But that just gets confusing yeah that's gonna get no no it can't be it can't be red man again 30 40 40 i mean we really got to find something for

40 there that's what we have to hit is it is there a song with like story oh yeah they're like love story by taylor swift is the one that comes to mind um it's not a song about a guy named morty is there rick and morty yeah is that yeah rick and morty's not bad 30 40 rick and morty that actually has a nice ring to it yeah isn't there just a like a a rap song that's just saying Rick and Morty over and over again? You might be able to do something, because there's got to be a song, and it's not springing to mind, but something that has party in it. Oh, like what, Andrew WK kind of thing? Yeah, or Fight for Your Right to Party, Party in the USA. Those are all good party songs well fight for your right to party like ending on party and somehow making that like you gotta fight

because it's 30 to 40 exactly um and then deuce yeah i'll take that. Deuce is, there's a song by Kiss called Deuce. Well, but this may be like, Dr. Doctor, give me the news. I got a bad case of loving Deuce. Yeah, that's true. This may be that. You're not going to regret using that one. I'll tell you, it served us very well.

And then add in, i when i was like playing tennis i was like oh yeah i should do adam's song by blink 182 but uh and then i started singing it and it turns out i don't know it i know anna's song by silver chair okay yeah so is that the one where the water is very hard to drink no um which one is it it's the one that goes open fire it's from neon ballroom i had the album i mean yeah i remember hearing a rumor that the leads no the guitarist from silver chair worked in a record store when they were just becoming big and got fired because too many people were coming in to get his autograph, which sounds like something he probably made up, but it would be a pretty cool way to get fired. You're too popular. Everybody's here.

They're falling over themselves, loving you. Well, I mean, are they buying it? Are they buying Frog Stomp? I don't know, man. Probably not. That's probably why the boss goes nose out a giant hey you can autograph frog stomp if they buy it maybe add in yeah you'd think they'd like having people come in maybe add in uh um and this is a big stretch but i'm just trying to get something

going and this you know maybe the pitch that gets us to the pitch. Are we still doing 40? We're doing add in is the score. And I was thinking that just to match the add and the syllables, it could be bad fish by sublime. Yes. Yes. I'm an add in too. Baby, you're a big blue whale.

Is that the one? Yeah. Tell me, are you gonna add in two baby you're a big blue whale is that the one yeah tell me are you an add-in to oh could we have done 40 love to freedom or something was there 40 love to freedom so i take that walk yeah yeah then we could maybe transfer baby love to 30 love yeah suddenly baby love has opened up yes uh 30 love my 30 yeah and i guess it just leaves add out add out i've been just to dow is what i think is what's that there's a nice cube song and it starts to dow how you like me now because i'm in the mix and it's 1996 and when was that released yeah that i can't tell you um but i think add out and to dow are very very close very close in in the they scratch the same itch. I hate to keep making you learn new songs, but lifelong learner, lifelong learner.

Yeah. I'm too old to learn any new songs, but certainly on piano. Um, but, uh, yeah, I have just been doing,

uh, the pink Panther theme out, out, out, out, out, out, out,

out, out. Yeah. But, uh, that brings us, that's all of them. brings us that's all of them i think that's we filled in the chart guys thanks so much sure oh yeah man we're here for it happy to be a part of it and i feel like sean did a lot of the heavy lifting well why have me if i'm not gonna do it

yeah that's true yeah that's true i'm watching you do it what's going on with you graham very little the only thing that i've that i've clocked this week is being remotely interesting and now i know saying that this is really setting myself up for a fall well but i went to a baseball game that's on a night called dog days of summer where everybody's allowed to bring a dog into the stadium and watch the the game and have their dog be pretty uncomfortable i think because there's not a lot of room for them and there's people are trying to pet them unsolicited and uh anyways it was fun it's fun you got to see a lot of was that last night that was last night that was last night so uh

sean if you don't know in vancouver we have a a single a affiliate of the toronto blue jays here uh and a lot of fun congratulations and all year long people look forward to dog night but you you you didn't love it graham no i loved it i love seeing all the dogs but i don't feel like it's comfortable for the dogs it's not ideal for them yeah like they have to be kind of under the the seat kind don't feel like it's comfortable for the dogs it's not ideal for them yeah like they have to be kind of under the the seat kind of thing or like the room yeah yeah and then they're seeing other dogs that they probably want to check out and would like to yes would like to engage with the dogs does seem torturous yeah it did seem a little torturous um but aside from the dog thing it was something i've never seen before. Cause this is,

we like, we live in a time now that you have tap, you've got to tap everything to buy whatever hot dog beer or whatever. I've never seen somebody, the guy that I was buying beer from, he was flipping around an iPad. He was, he had like stunt work.

He said he kind of like a flare bartender so that he would like be press it on this side and then we would fly kind of roll it through the air and then he'd say put it on this side and hit confirm. And the iPad was just loose? It wasn't like on a pedestal or anything? No, no. This was him just flinging it around. And I thought it was pretty

cool. I've never seen anything like that. That somebody is changing with the times, keeping the flare alive. It sounds like me and my uh flip phone that's true that is true did does he get do you think he gets bigger tips yeah i think this guy rules and uh maybe he's the only one who knows how to do it maybe he's been there for a long time maybe he like you know michael jordan he practices all night and that's how he's so good um but yeah i've never seen any flair on on any kind of tap machine well because now they have i don't want to go back well because they practice uh flair bartending with like wooden bottles so

they don't smash glass do they do you think this guy's practicing on like i think he's using a book he tapes up a book tosses it around or like uh you know a kindle yeah yeah kindle sure um but yeah it's just look it's a level of service i'm not gonna get used to because it's so exclusive but now that i've seen that it can be done i i'm kind of interested in seeing it again at another location you know what what I mean? You want this been ruined. You've been spoiled. I haven't been spoiled. You want this guy to be like Johnny Appleseed, but for flare iPad work.

Yes. Just like spreading the word of flare iPad around. It can be done, you know, cause like the people that like can flip the arrow when they're like pointing towards a car dealership or whatever. Yeah. That takes a lot of work. Like you got to learn how to do that and this i feel like this guy's taking that spirit

and applied it sure those people are learning on the job though they've got nothing but time that's true well this guy's going he's got you know some stretches where people aren't buying you know take me out to the ball game when you sing that nobody's buying so you can practice then that's one of those a very famous stretch uh the um i want that's great but i do want to know like what was the most saddest dog you saw like was there any dog being denied a hot dog or no i think there was like dogs who are like didn't know where they were and there was you know people applauding loud crowd like yeah like something that do they do it on a firework counter they don't do it on fireworks night dave that would be it would be an absolute farce if they did that sorry but yeah the dogs like there's some dogs that are super social and they're they're into it and maybe they get a little bite of a hot dog or something but uh as for the rest

of the dogs i kind of saw they weren't they weren't super cozy well because we wanted to go but we definitely wouldn't bring our dogs because they would um they don't they would not enjoy that uh sean do you have a you have a dog yeah i got a dog would your dog he's a big guy uh he really likes his space his exercise some i did bring him on stage for a live show uh at one point and it was a little bit controversial people were like you shouldn't do that with dogs it's like very scary for them right um but uh he he rocks man i probably i probably wouldn't bring him to that. I've seen people bring in their dogs too. I'm out picketing for this WGA strike and people bring their dogs.

And I'm like, I don't want to bring him because so much of it is everyone's honking their horns at us, ideally. And there's people chanting and there's a big crowd. And I just feel like it's very overwhelming. Certain studio lots are good for it. The walk is nicer and quieter, but near me, I don't know if I would do it. Yeah, and does your dog like being pet by strangers or not so much? Oh, he's very friendly with people like he likes he he does like strangers like he'll always go up and greet people but i just think the crowd

aspect of it right that many people and the noise would be overwhelming um i'm dreading actually like we have you know uh the fourth of july coming up and the fireworks uh in our neighborhood are so noisy and it's just like it's a nightmare for him and it's terrible for me like that's just a night that i'm like oh i'm not gonna sleep because he's gonna be so freaked out oh man um feel bad i feel bad for the guy but that's just man that's part of being an adult yeah you know it's like whatever i guess maybe i should have planned ahead to like get out of town but oh can you put you know like they have babies that wear headsets whenever they're at a baseball game or concert did you do that there's a room in the house that's quieter and put on white noise pretty loud and like get you know uh he'll he'll relax at some point um maybe some cbd some doggy cbd

nice i our old dog i remember when we first had him it like we were in our mid-20s and uh we took we just wanted him to be like a cool dog that could go anywhere and we took him to the lantern festival which is at trout lake in vancouver and it was just it's but it starts after dark and there's just like these people make these cool lanterns and uh and we thought that you know just walk the dog around in the dark he hated it so much plus there was a drum circle happening oh yeah it was just like put a bad taste very disorienting yeah more and more intense as the night went on oh shit i guess that is how a drum circle typically works it doesn't start big and go small yeah no no no it either peters out immediately or they're fully committed to yes yeah absolutely um, do you guys want to move on to some overheards? Let's do it.

Oh, that sound. Ho, ho, ho. That sound means it's time for a little bit of business. Did we say it was time for business? We don't remember. We don't remember, but it doesn't matter because here it comes. Here it comes. We have a jumbotron this message, and this one is for Benji from Johnny.

And neither spelled the way you might think in your head. Benji with a Y, Johnny with an IE. Happy birthday to my brother Benji. What would any birthday be without the annual tradition of a message from the Spy Boys? We are hopefully hearing this on holiday in Chile, but as dedicated bumpers from the UK, please feel free to read this in your trademark Cockney

accents. Thank you, Graham and Dave. We love you. Well, off we go to San Diego. San Diego, Chile. Now, I did just check. They did one last year as well. Oh, wow wow so it is an annual thing make it a tradition don't be you don't let them be the only ones who make this at a dish make it

let's fill the one fill these up fill these uh jumbotrons up yeah our cupboards are bare uh well you know good luck in uh chile uh you know the eat a lot of uh Well, you know, good luck in Chile. You know, eat a lot of paella, I want to say. Maybe have some paella there in Chile. Don't eat too much. It's a very skinny country. If you eat too much, you'll be too big for the country.

It's so skinny. Should we mosey on back to the show? Yeah, let's mosey. Hey, Sydney, you're a physician and the co-host of Sawbones, a marital tour of misguided medicine, right? That's true, Justin. Is it true that our medical history podcast

is just as good as a visit to your primary care physician? No, Justin, that is absolutely not true. However, our podcast is funny and interesting

and a great way to learn about the medical misdeeds of the past as well as some current not-so-legit healthcare fads. So you're saying that by listening to our podcast, people will feel better? Sure. learn about the medical misdeeds of the past as well as some current not so legit health care fads so you're saying that by listening to our podcast people will feel better sure and isn't that the same reason that you go to the doctor well you could say that but our podcast is free

yes it is free you heard it here first folks sawbones meryl tour of misguided medicine right here on maximum fun just as good as going to the doctor no no no still, just as good as going to the doctor. No, no, no. Still not just as good as going to the doctor, but pretty good. It's up there. Please tell us what to tape about. Please tell us what to tape about. Please. Because I'm Alex and she's Katie and we make Secretly Incredibly Fascinating. A podcast about the history and science behind seemingly ordinary things.

the history and science behind seemingly ordinary things. We've done entire episodes about ham or shoe sizes or concrete or the color beige. We need more ordinary stuff like that. Our MaxFun members suggest and pick our episode topics through Discord. So what do you wonder about? What do you wish you could start to find interesting? Make us tape your idea. And then hear the results on Secretly Incredibly Fascinating from MaximumFun.org

Overheard! Alright, Overheard. The segment where if you hear it, we want to hear it too. Keep your ears peeled and report them back here to the podcast and we always like to start with the guest sean do you have an overheard okay yeah so my overheard is i went to so there's a famous bakery in new york called leven or look maybe it's maybe i'm not pronouncing right but it's l-e-v-a-i-n and it's like famous for these

like big chunky warm chocolate chip cookies so levin has opened its first location in los angeles okay and there is like a line down the block and all this. And so, you know, something to do. Yeah. My wife wants to go in and check out the Levin location that has opened in our home city now. So we go and we go inside. And a couple of things happened at the bakery, and I can tell you about more of them. But the thing that I overheard that I thought was funny was there was a guy, I'm bringing this back to dog night. We had our dog.

Okay. We had waited in line with the dog. A man went and complained. I'm not mad at him for it. There were other dogs in there. Okay. You know, the line was starting outside there were people with their dogs but a guy an employee came over and was like you have

to get your dog out of the store it's a food establishment sure people have allergies it's totally fair that the dog had to be removed that's okay i'm not mad about that um but there is sort of a principle in place that this guy had gone and complained and like made a big fuss. And you guys, I'm sure have encountered this too. You know how my wife and I will always say like, when someone's a problem, they're always a problem. take your space at like a a fucking target or whatever like you're going to then have a weird thing in the aisle with them then you're going to be at the same cash registers that like yeah you're always like if this person is a problem like their whole life they're a problem and you now have like entered their orbit and you will have multiple issues with them and you'll just and also it doesn't even have to be you you will just see them like engaging with someone else in a weird way being rude to an employee like it's gonna happen so this guy complained about the dogs the dogs got removed he was like kind of like in the

um employee's ear then he got his cookies which there were like a million people waiting in line for and they had gotten it and they serve them warm and they serve them soft and i saw him like stand in the store take a bite walk over and start complaining to this employee that his his food was undercooked and and and here's what i overheard that was so funny is what i surmise and i'm i may not uh be you know correct but what i believe is that leven has some sort of corporate policy in terms of how they describe their food and so the guy was going this is undercooked and i wrote down uh what the response was because this dude was field a good complaint and like being nice and trying to be very professional.

But he was saying, I, what you're noticing is that our cookie has an ooey gooey signature style. The style of the cookie is ooey gooey. That's so it is. Yes, it is soft. The styles that we gooey, that's what makes them so deliciously

addictive right yes it's like this guy's going i don't like this like you fucked up my food and he's going i think what you're finding so deliciously addictive is the ooey gooey signature style and he and he had a long conversation he only ever would describe the phenomenon as ooey gooey signature style and he and he had a long conversation he only ever would describe the phenomenon as ooey gooey and i just really loved that that was happening now man secondarily if you would like a little more to the story of us visiting levin is that i walked in and this and people are gonna hate me i i'm ready for the hate mail hate on me i don't i i fully understand that a chocolate chip cookie is the most popular cookie style in the world yes they're good i don't love chocolate like in my pastries and stuff i don't love milk chocolate especially

i don't love it like i'll eat a chocolate chip cookie but it's not my preference and we go to other cookie places in la and i'll usually get like a cinnamon sugar cookie like a snickerdoodle or like uh you know a molasses ginger cookie or something like that yeah like i love you know i i love a lot of peanut butter cookies i like these so i walked in they've got like eight styles of cookies and the styles are like chocolate chip chocolate chip walnut double chocolate chip chocolate peanut butter chip like everything has chocolate in it right and i say to my wife like you know it's probably a good thing i don't really want anything here like they have

all these cookies but they all have chocolate the only non-chocolate option they have is oatmeal raisin which by the way i like an oatmeal cookie i don't want the raisin yes i believe raisins are for babies if you put them in my dessert you are calling me a a baby. I'm not a baby. I'm a grown, I'm a grown up boy. So I say like, I, yeah, I, you know, it's good. I don't really want anything here. And then I don't get anything. And then she gets it and she loves it and she's walking and she describes my behavior inside Levin. This is a quote. This is what my wife said to me. I was like, are you mad that I don't want the cookies? She goes, no, it's fine. You want the cookies or you don't. You just were being like, sort of cunty about it. I got called cunty by my

wife. Wow. I probably was. You've met me. Like, but I was sort of taken aback that I was like, I just didn't want it. But of course, when I frame it to you, I go like, it's probably good. I didn't want anything there.

But I always like, I don't want anything on this menu. Like none of this is what I want. And she's going like, I'm excited to try the new bakery. So I did yuck her yums and I was there for a little bit. So I overheard two things

i overheard the ooey gooey signature style which was deliciously addictive and i overheard my wife calling me cutty it's a funny trip all of that was beautiful yeah all that was fantastic thank you for sharing wow um dave do you have an overheard not as long as sean's um mine is sorry it was so long no filling your show i could save it for my show oh no no i'm just saying mine's gonna like it's gonna be like oh did dave do his yet no he did it and it went by really quick yeah um good um really quick. Yeah. Good.

Okay. Mine is an overseen. This is something I saw on Facebook, which is allowed. I didn't know that was allowed. It's allowed. If you want to go again, you can come around.

I should have done more research. This was just, I, on Facebook, I, for some reason, I, I've unfollowed everyone

because I don't, I think Facebook's a waste of time, but I need it. So I, on Facebook, I, for some reason, I, I've unfollowed everyone cause I don't, I think Facebook's a waste of time, but I need it. So I, but I still open it all the time and it just shows me videos of like, do you want to see how we modified a lawnmower? Or, uh,

do you want to see how we, uh, filled a hole in the sidewalk? Um, yeah. And this was a video of someone just making candy. It was like how they make, uh,

do a design in like, um, uh, like a hard candy. And, uh, this was from the site food Bible. And just the,

the caption they put on this video of someone making candy was, now that will come in candy. There's a lot of ways to read that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And most of them are a problem. Yeah.

Now that will come in candy. Now that will come in candy. but it's spelled the right way it's spelled the clean way and uh there's no second guessing you can't second guess it that's true it's already out there what are they gonna do they can't take it down now they'll look like fools yeah this is the food bible we're talking about yep the internet's forever the fucking bible dude is the food bible bible talked about coming as well i mean that's true yeah the original bible was you know filthy we're getting into it they had opinions on where you bust and where do you bust to the bible i mean not on the ground yeah yeah that's basically the deal at the end at the end yeah what's the end thing called what's the end chapter revelation

that's when i edge i edge throughout the bible and then revelations comes and when the four horsemen of the apocalypse are riding towards me i finally i finally blast off it's hard though because you can those pages are so thin you can always see what's on the next page and it's like trying to delay this it's not gonna work just try to think about you know baseball or whatever sport they had back then right yeah that's gonna stop me baseball is so fucking horny for me i was losing it during graham's story uh graham do you have an overheard uh if you thought yours was small check this out oh i don't uh listeners please don't use that audio yeah i hope i heard that wrong um it was just i was outside of a wendy's and there was a couple of uh

i say teens a couple of teens coming out ma'am this is outside of a wendy's i'm just trying to paint a picture you know what I mean it's all audio it's the theater of the mind and the one guy was saying to the other guy and then I said I only wear hats like once a month and then they wear out of your shot he stuck it to them

yeah like what was the context you're wearing a hat all the time why am I getting accused of ratatouille oh yeah yeah why are you wearing that yeah anyways this guy he was getting slammed and he came back from it and power to him i say wear a hat however much you want in a month you know um now we also have overheards sent in to us by people all over the map if you want to send one, you know? Now, we also have overheards sent in to us by people all over the map. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to spy at maximumfund.org.

And this first one comes from Lindsey in Memphis, Tennessee. A six-year-old son was quietly watching an Elvin and the Chipmunks show in the other room. When out of the blue, I heard him exclaim with total exasperation, it was your idea, Simon! And then silence again. He's mad at the Chipmunks? out of the blue i heard him exclaim with total exasperation it was your idea simon and then

silence again he's mad at the chairman that's cool i love that like this is your fucking plan do do simon and theodore have personalities i know alvin's just a rebel's smart yeah simon yeah simon's brainy and then uh theodore's like sort of more of the soft doughy goofball yeah he would love a new yeah yeah absolutely he's kind of like yeah he always felt younger to me than alvin and simon yeah i think he is i think he's the third born are they i don't know what happened to the parents but uh dave picked up you know i love hearing my kid like talking sometimes he'll talk to like if i play him a video or something he'll try to talk to the video like um uh and anything like that uh or like hearing him like get excited and like engage with the tv or like the movies watching or something is just like

the best so sweet that's so yeah what's he watching these days he right he i asked him what he watched the other day because he watched a movie with um uh a friend and i was like what what movie did you watch and he has a very specific way that he says the word squirrel where it's two syllables and he went it was a movie with a very funny squirrel it's a very crazy squirrel a very funny squirrel and i was like okay and it turned out to be the movie ice age which is a movie yeah uh but he really enjoyed ice age um so he's he's watched that a few times but um you know the default is like he's we're we're looking for bugs a lot these days so he like wants to watch videos where people like find bugs and stuff like that how old is this uh

this child he's four yeah, exploring the world. Yeah, I have a nephew that I distract whenever he's too hyped up. Hey, let's go find bugs. Let's go count ants. He can really count ants for a long time. He can get some rest during the ant count. I find a lot of worms in our yard, the kids like that.

Are those the big ones for you? Well, we definitely dig for worms digging for worms is sometimes the move um if you can find a beetle like that's huge yeah yeah yeah forget it yeah dine out on that for a week ladybugs are always great too ladybug exciting right we had a stash of caterpillars the other day whoa yeah so somebody told me i don't know if if this was common knowledge but when a caterpillar is in they turn into butterflies yeah yeah but when they're in the whatever called pupa or whatever yeah it's the same bug i don't know if everyone knows this it's pretty well known yeah they liquefy they turn into just a goo and then they start building the butterfly out of that it doesn't like is that what makes them so deliciously addictive yes

the cocoon has an ooey gooey style it's made in the style of an ooey gooey uh this next one comes from kirsten in ingersoll ontario oh really that's right that's where uh abby's parents are from oh shit yeah hometown well i don't think we've ever had one from there and we might never again we'll see we'll see the quality of this one and that's it take it from there uh a license plate frame that said nana's my game spoiling's my game no nana's my name spoiling's my game shit i can't come back from that that's yeah sorry ingersoll don't put that on don't put it on ingersoll yeah yeah yeah no this is that was me yours was good i screwed it up i apologize uh where's where's ingersoll um i think it's in southern ontario near hamilton okay oh okay yeah you guys want my canada bona fides because you know i am eligible to get dual

citizenship oh give it to me always thinking about it why not get it is it does it my dad i know i want to it's just a process it's just it my dad i know i want to it's just a process it's just an annoying process i think i have to really it's like i think i have to bother my dad to get his birth certificate yeah um in order to do it but he was born in deep river ontario deep river we would go to we went to sarnia one year for a family reunion. And we went to Toronto. His father was from Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan. Nice. Moose Jaw, Saskatchewan, which their claim to fame is that Al Capone ran booze through that town to, I don't know, get it to Chicago.

He was there at that time. I mean, it was like Depression era, you know. He had that he like lived on a farm in moose jaw um and was in and flew in the royal canadian air force and in world war ii um wow but uh that yeah so i have a bunch of family up there including i know you're excited for the nhl draft and I had a second cousin who was an NHL player and we'll see, you're big hockey fans we'll see if you remember him John Druce

John Druce played for the Washington Capitals and that was his big run I think he had a mullet I might be wrong about the second part at times I think he may have yeah um but yeah it was and then when the capitals came to town my dad would go meet up and he'd get to like have drinks with dino cicerelli oh wow yeah so wow anyway you know you're like oh this american

guy he doesn't know canada at all but actually i'm like his dad probably never had drinks with a guy who scored 1200 points do you know that as a fact that he's yeah i frequently look up dino cicerelli and uh mike gardner because they were traded for each other and i get them confused a bit they had a similar game style gardner had more points i was i i loved you know we used we had like uh my dad shared season tickets with a friend to the harvard whalers and i grew up going to those games and i loved it and then when the whalers left i just like stopped following the nhl but i i loved it man well you're all right in our books sean yeah exactly come get your dual citizenship then we can uh we can go to sarnia. I'm going to do it.

Then I'm going to come up and do a podcast in person, even though I wasn't invited before. Hey, this last one comes from Casey in Arkansas. We're out shopping at a local grocery store. And I saw a person sitting on the bench outside smoking. I turned to my eight year old and said, you know,

smoking is bad, right? And once you start, it's addictive and it's hard to stop and he said don't worry mom i'm too obsessed with dabbing to start smoking it takes up all my time dabbing like this i assume motion we hope yeah yeah because what's the other one it's like a drug thing yeah i'm doing yeah yeah um i don't know what this eight-year-old's sort of a version of smoking yeah yeah yeah exactly anyways that kid's gonna be all right yeah don't have time for smoking well in addition to overheards that are written and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-, 3, 1. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1, like these people have.

Hi, Dave. Hi, Graham. Hi, possible guests. This is David from Corvallis, Oregon. And I was at a baseball game tonight sitting close to the first baseline. And in between innings, I heard the umpire yell at the first base coach, you know, you could build a relationship with me. No friggin way

uh sure yeah they got to stand next to each other all night yeah maybe they yeah he wants to take this to the next level right it's like be my friend not just my work friend right yeah i mean i mean it's important to have that with your with a umpire yeah that's the other thing i get fed all in my uh instagram algorithm is just people mad at umpires that's pretty good yeah contact yeah all right next phone call hello dave graham impossible guest this is finn from the netherlands but living in london uk and i'm calling in with an overseeing that just happened as i was closing up at work um and i looked up and there were two people standing in front of my door big big glass door um they were full on making out it's 4 p.m and it's easter today

um full on making out and then they stopped and bent over both of them clutching their mouth and like the woman started kind of touching her teeth and looking at him very very annoyed and then they kept walking and then she like four or five steps in she turned around like flung her arms around his neck. Fulon started making out again for a couple of seconds. The whole time, her eyes were open and she still looked very annoyed, just left in pain.

And then they stopped and then kept walking, both of them clutching their own mouths. So, don't really know what that was about anyway it sounds like two people who smashed their teeth together and kept making out yeah or had braces that locked together and then had to i don't think that's a thing in real life

i think that happens in with nerds and tv shows well yeah two nerds are at it i assume these people don't sound like nerds though no no they seem cool hey for some reason they seem really cool yeah making out on the streets at four in the afternoon on easter yeah holy shit i forgot that was on easter yeah it's easter yeah just walking around on easter instead of being at home. Damn. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you got to,

let's make out, like work up the appetite for this big ham. We're going to eat later. I can't, I can't figure out what it, yeah. I mean, I guess my first thought was that they somehow banged their teeth or something. Like they're both holding their mouths.

Right. Yeah. But she's mad at him yeah but she's mad so she's mad at him he did something he slammed into her he got a chili pepper in there because you swallow that chili pepper before we do this again yeah exactly he's also holding his mouth he's like he's like, it wasn't pleasant for me either, but I had to complete the prank. And here's your final phone call.

Hello, Dave. Hello, Graham. Hello, guest. This is Tony from Philadelphia. I'm sitting in my car outside the dentist where I just had to get some teeth filled and they gave me novocaine and I'm not I'm not so good with needles and so they gave it to me and then I I did I didn't know where I was in the room was spinning and I just thought I was dying and what brought me back was

the dentist was touching my shoulder and he said are, are you all right? And I was like, why, why? He's like, he keeps saying that I'm blocking traffic. And I had been listening to Spy when I was doing my Novocaine, and I passed out. I passed out, and I pissed myself, and somebody overheard something. I don't know. I don't know what to call it. I have to go. No freaking way, man. We appreciate

everyone calling in and telling us when you piss yourself at the dentist. And everyone who listens to the show at the dentist. Showing called Stop Pissing Yourself. Well, that brings us to the end of this here episode sean you you have multiple podcasts they're all hilarious where is there anything particular that's uh that's oh please you know go oh coming up um yeah i guess i i don't know when this will come out i'm a couple weeks starting another podcast oh yeah um that people can check out yeah during the um this writer strike uh i've

been talking to some other wga members and we've been watching movies about writers so like hayes and i watched adaptation and we like did a little thing where we talked about the writer of the movie and the script and you know watch the movie together so it's like it's a little bit of a movie podcast but the focus being on the um the writing of it uh so yeah it's been pretty fun i recorded uh three of them now so you know that that that'll be called subtitles on um uh and that's coming out and then yeah hollywood handbook as always and everything is available at the flagrant ones patreon where we do our basketball show with carl and and all that um but yeah that's awesome yeah thanks so much for joining us yeah this has been great thanks for

having me i love the shows i'm a big fan and uh what a thrill oh thanks i appreciate it yeah it's so great to have you on thank you well this was really fun thanks for having me and uh thank you out there everybody for listening you know we love you i don't have to say it uh but come on back here for another episode oh god my mouth another episode of stop podcast yourself maximum fun a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows

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