Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 803 - Danika Thibault

Episode Date: August 8, 2023

Comedian Danika Thibault returns to talk moving to London, traveling to Scandinavia, and canoes.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 803 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name's Graham and with me as always is a man I'm so glad to see here in person with no beard no less, Mr. Dave Shumka. Yeah, I shaved it. That's the only way to do it. You can try to pull it out. They don't like it.

pull it out they don't like it there's a lot of like like men's rights activists who will protest if you they think it's actually like uh abuse if you try to pull out your own beard yeah one one uh hair at a time and you know what men's rights activists get a bad name because that's true oh you're also wearing a fedora i forgot to mention that you're also wearing a fedora. I forgot to mention that you're also wearing a fedora. Yes, I am a lady. And, but the, the like men do need rights when it comes to just having hairs individually pulled out of their face. It's true. It's true. Um,

yeah, I watched a video of a guy getting his head waxed. He said waxed off. Just like put it on like, uh, like he was getting his face done done for a movie it was like that and then they pulled the whole thing off yeah do you go um the uh and when it was done it was just a nub his head was just a little nub at the top of his neck i is so i shaved my beard and um it

uh because it was bothering me The feeling was bothering me I didn't like the way it felt anymore But now I don't like the way it looks Yes It's the push and pull Of the beard quandary Our guest today Returning guest on the podcast

Oh so funny comedian She will be hosting her last Show at the Lido, August 22nd, here in Vancouver. It's Danica Tipo, everybody. Oh, to be led into the podcast at last. It's absolutely torture. Those like five seconds where you're not in the podcast, where you're behind the curtain. It felt like two minutes, but if you tell me it's five seconds, I can't.

We could tell you were kind of making like jonesing it kind of hand motions and then also you do have to kind of like

you do have to show you're engaged you can't just be here on your phone you kind of have to be like laughing with no noise it's an art

and yet Graham and I I don't know about you but I am terrified to look at her like when we're doing our thing and I'm really scary looking

well I'm just like if I turn to you, you're going to think, oh, it's your turn to talk. It is not. Exactly. So I have to ignore you. Yeah.

And if you had looked at me, I would have said something. So you are so right to do that. But know what side of men's hair TikTok is. Okay, okay, sure.

I actually have one quick thing to say. Yes, please. Which is is have you guys been on toupee tiktok at all toupee tiktok no okay but i'm already fascinated it is it'll change your life i don't i'm not a man i'm not bald this applies to me zero at all and yeah it's all i can watch is it the one where he puts the puts the toupee on and then gives it a proper haircut? Oh, I've seen that. Is it like saran wrap

on top and he draws on it first? He draws ahead. Mine's actually a girl. My toupee girl is actually a woman. Way to smash that glass ceiling. She's actually doing something different. Oh my god, that Barbie movie is already making inroads.

This Barbie applies to pays. And yeah, that's all I have to say about that. But go check it out. That's kind of a plug for Toupee TikTok. Is it? Okay, should we get to know us? Yes, we should get to know us. Yes.

Danica, you've been on the show before on Zoom. Yeah. I just had a tiny burp and I'm very sorry for everyone. And it's great to see you in person. The, so you, to pay TikTok, you're a TikTok person. You're on TikTok. I'm technically not present, but I'm a watcher. Are there...

So, I hear people say things like, whatever, BookTok or now Toupe TikTok. Are these, like, organized areas or is just the algorithm is just giving you... And the algorithm is its own organized area. The algorithm is one of the most effective forms of government we have. That's true. It's like the department of Toupee TikTok. And yeah, I have been kind of avoiding book TikTok like the plague. And the reason is so bad.

Go on. And it doesn't make any sense. And I'm wrong for thinking this. So that's how I'm going to preface this. But I'm like, well, people who spend this much time on TikTok, that's probably not who I want to be getting book recommendations from. Oh, yeah. Big shot across the bow. I know.

Although I kind of am in both camps and I love to read and I'm on TikTok. So I'm like, we do exist. We are here. We're loud and proud. But why don't you make your voice heard instead of just skulking around on the internet? Instead of judging from afar. But why don't you make your voice heard instead of just skulking around on the internet? Instead of judging from afar. Because I'm like, I'm like, I, yeah, I don't trust these book talkers.

Okay. Because they're scrolling. They're not reading, are they? There was so, I, oh, I've only heard of book talk recently because there's a story going around, a hockey related story. Wow. Apparently there is a subgenre of romance novels about hockey. Nice.

And there's a thing that happens. The ice that melts. That kind of title. Yeah, yeah, yeah. High sticking. Yeah, yeah. Blades of jizz.

Blades of jizz. That's one of the lazy ones. They were like, no bad ideas in the room. No bad ideas in the room. This is the pitch that will get us to the pitch. But there was a guy. There's a thing that happens in these romance novels apparently called, I'm not going to remember the term.

I think it might be called face claiming. Wow. Okay. Where you take an existing person, like a celebrity, and you imagine they're the main character. Oh, so you're describing Clint Eastwood. Yeah. And there's this hockey player who people have been associating with this one book and then have begun sexually harassing him online. Yes. And his wife had to make a, please leave us alone post. That is, we loved him online. Yes. And his wife had to make a please leave us alone post.

That is, we love to hear it. Yeah. We love to hear that sort of thing. So inspiring. Book talkers, you go. But you know what? The algorithm is the most effective form of government we have.

Yeah. Yeah. What is your algorithm trying to sell to you at the moment? I mean, besides the toupees okay which i honest to god if i was completely bald i would be getting a toupee i will get i'll get one you're gonna get a toupee i'll get one i'll shave my head and get a toupee i want a different hair texture okay my this was a scary moment for my algorithm because my friends were all being like i had a sect where a couple of my friends got engaged and they're like it was so crazy my algorithm kept

showing me that people were posing and then i got engaged and then all my algorithm was showing me was people getting eaten by sharks and i was like okay so like what do i take from this yeah so that's been a big theme on the algorithm. Good for you. Yeah. So I've been staying away from oceans and stuff like that this summer. I accidentally looked at a, not accidentally, I looked at it on purpose, but I didn't know when I clicked on it that it was a white woman with dreads.

And now the algorithm's like, well, you like that? Why not more? More ladies with dreads. Was she just like a model? No, she's like, you know, some hippie that lives on like, oh, you know, I make jewelry or whatever. Okay. So you are kind of in it for you're like, I need to see what the jewelry is looking like.

But then it's like, it's a whole subgenre of these women with big. And there's one that was like showing you how to add to your dreads oh and what just like have you ever seen a person with dreads where it's like a natural hair color and then it goes into this like kind of blondie outgrowth have you ever seen that yeah i yeah it's like bleached at the ends it that's like a weave oh you add on the end of dress. Wow, you are knowledgeable. We should start a salon. I only do one thing. I've never done it.

I've only seen videos. I do toupees. You do dress. That's right. We have an office that we split down the middle. You're not allowed to go over. Oh, man. Yeah.

So now, Danica. Yeah. Are you born and raised here in Vancouver? No. Guess. Yeah. I know where it is. Where?

Kamloops. That's right. Kamloops, BC. Kind of like, it's like, and it feels disingenuous to call a small town. Although I do love to claim that title. I love to, I love the claiming the narrative of, I'm just a small town kid trying to make it in the big city try that in a small town like cameron except then it's like the town is like like 90 000 people which i've probably like doesn't count as small or does it i don't it just sounds as a town, really. Yeah, it's kind of a normal town. A regular town. Could that be a narrative

in my New Yorker profile in 20 years where it's like she started from a normal town. Yeah, she comes from a mid-town. A mid-sized town

and then she made it into the big city. They would say it though like a small town in the Rockies of Canada. Who's the most famous person to come from Kamloops? Oh, there was someone at my high school that plays for the NBA now.

Oh, okay. And his name is Kelly Olnick. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He's got long hair. And everyone knew he has long hair. And everyone knew he was going to be famous. It was that weird thing where we knew he was going to be famous.

So he was in grade 10 and they'd be like auctioning off his shoes. And we're like, okay, he's not famous yet. Abby, you want to get those shoes earlier. Exactly. Exactly. Do you guys have famous

people from your town? I'm from Vancouver. Okay. Who's from, okay, so you have one of our Deadpool. Yeah. Amazing.

Yeah. Graham's from Calgary, so he's got Brian Orser. Oh, I mean, I guess. Yeah, I got Brian Orser. Elizabeth Manley,

Eddie the Eagle, anyone in the Olympics. The 88 crew. The Jamaican bobsled team. Those are the big ones. Those are the bigs. Who is,

like, a couple of the kids in the hall are from there. Okay. And Chong lived of the pigs um who is like a couple of the kids in the hall are from there okay and um chong lived in calgary for a time when he wasn't famous so i think like calgary claims chong we claim chong yeah and i think he might have gone to my high school or something like that yeah yeah that's

good enough for me that sounds yeah what high school did you go to uh lord beaverbrook oh okay beaverbrook beaverbrook yeah oh okay they really were like we're doing we did a number on you it's like it's like whenever i go to the states or something I'm like we're actually like metropolitan people and we're like not embarrassing and so weird and then it'll be like

beaver brook high school yeah I'm like come on can we even try a little bit here no but it's not named after a brook of beavers it's named after a man

it's named after a man that's worse yeah a man who's named after a beaver yeah beaver brook, Beaver Brook. What was your high school named? They really did not get creative.

South Kamloops Secondary School. They really said where it is. Yeah. Well, that's good. They kind of doxxed themselves when they were naming. They're like, if you want to come find these kids, South Kamloops Secondary School. I was looking in the wrong end of town until you told me.

Yeah, we really did. Then there was like North Kamloops Secondary School. And that had kind of a... Were you rivals? Were you rivals? Yeah, it had kind of an Elphaba and kind of like a Wicked Witch of the West.

Elphaba and who? Oh, okay, Glinda. Yes! Oh my God! Woo! Okay. Hopefully not a lot of musical theater people. Do you know what that is, Graham? What's this? Elphaba and Glinda. Okay. Oh my God. Okay. Hopefully not a lot of musical theater people. Do you know what that is, Graham?

What's this? Elphaba and Glinda. The witches from Wizard of Oz? Okay, yeah. There we go. Yeah. Well, from Wicked, right? Yes, that's right.

The original Wizard of Oz was extracted. Elphaba isn't... They're not named... They don't name Elphaba in The Wizard of Oz do they? I mean I like to think it's a cinematic universe

yeah do they name Glinda in The Wizard of Oz? Glinda is named Glinda the Good Witch yeah but Elphaba is named after L. Frank Baum

is that right? oh of course the guy who wrote it the guy who wrote it okay and I didn't know that yeah well so you're coming out as the wicked expert

I guess I sort of am but maybe I just saw it on book doc okay have either fucking lyrics fucking music have either of you guys

seen the what is it called the remake of Wizard of Oz came out in the 70s The Wiz oh no no

that I saw a tape of it at my parents house once and I thought maybe I'll watch that, and I never did. It's worth seeking out because it is so weird. Okay. But it's also like, you're like, oh my God, this person did it. Oh my God, that person did it.

Okay, what kind of celebrities are we talking? Like Michael Jackson? Oh. Yeah, like it was like a big, high-profile movie in the 70s. Okay. So. Okay, I'm going to be watching it this weekend. Yeah, like it was like a big, high-profile movie in the 70s. Okay. So. Okay, I'm going to be watching it this weekend. Yeah.

Is Diana Ross the witch? Yep. One of the witches. Diana Ross is in it. Whoa. Yeah, all-star cast. Okay, that is big. That's kind of like the, I was going to say modern day, but the reverse of modern day,

olden day. But yet more modern than Wizard of Oz. It's like, what is that middle day? That's the middle day what they're trying to do. It's the Kamloops. It's the Kamloops. Did you, when you were a kid, did you watch The Wizard of Oz? Yes, I did.

Did you love it? I did love it. Did you, I cut you off. You were about to say something something i think that's bad because i listened to this podcast series where they talked about all these women who kind of went nuts and then a theme was they all really liked the wizard of oz when they were kids so huh food for thought in what way did they go nuts oh well okay the whole podcast was like kind of like dissecting women in society who are labeled crazy and kind of like reclaiming their stories.

But then something that did come up a lot was like a lot of these gals liked Wizard of Oz, didn't they? So, yeah, someone, there's a thesis idea for someone. Yeah, it's like how like goth women love Nightmare Before Christmas. There we go. It's a fact. There we go. It's a fact. There we go. It's a simple fact. Yeah.

I tried watching it a little while ago, and I thought I had seen it before, but I have not. I have seen, I think I've seen just the color parts. Okay. Oh, yeah. Because I tried watching it, and the black and white stuff at the beginning goes on forever. I thought it was like five minutes. And do you have black and white, like, um, boredness syndrome?

Yeah. Yeah. I have, I suffered it as well. Yeah. Where you just start, you get automatically bored by black and white? Yeah. And Criterion Collection, everyone's like, oh, go watch this old movie. And I'm like, I can't do it.

I can't do it. I get, I just, anything it. I can't do it. Just anything old. Yeah, I have that. And it's like, for me, it's the sort of mid-60s is the cutoff. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. No, I can watch them.

I enjoy them. You enjoy it. Well, I'm. I like the acting of the time. I find it very theater-ish and bigger than. There's no moments. There's no small moments. Yeah.

Yeah, that is... I feel like I'm having that experience with movies from the 2000s right now. Okay. What are you watching? Okay, I watched Four Weddings and a Funeral. Okay, that's the 90s. Okay, that's the 90s. And I watched it.

And here's what I have to say. Okay, let's hear it. What? We are not doing movies that are just a random story that is kind of, we didn't need to be told, really. Yeah, we definitely aren't doing that anymore. That's true. We should do it again. Well, it's just like, isn't it a standard romantic comedy?

Isn't that the whole thing? But it wasn't really that romantic. I was like, it was so random. Explain. It was like. I haven't seen it it I know basically the plot there's a wedding there's several and then there's another wedding and I forget the rest it was like the romantic

beats maybe this is because I'm too TV pilled and I am so used to like the romantic beat play out for seasons and this was so just like, they meet at a wedding. It doesn't go well for a second. And then it's good. Yeah.

And I was like, whoa, oh, that was crazy. I was like, ah, it's really ditty. Who is the girl? Who is the girl? Woman? Annie. And even though. Yep.

That is who it is um yeah i uh that's when i was growing up there were movies that were like made exclusively for parents that like they would go out as a couple to go see they would rent it on vhs that it was like there was no buy-in for you as a as a kid yeah Like Bridge Over the River Kwai. What was that? It was a war movie. It's a war movie by the writer of Planet of the Apes. Okay.

I just went, I traveled. I just went on a travel. We'll get to me later. But on the flight back, I like that they don't just show new releases on planes anymore. Yeah, you can pick. And I watched a movie I think you said you really liked. And if I'm wrong, this is going to sound so dumb. It's complicated. Oh, yeah, I've watched that more than once.

Because it's always, it was, when having cable, it was always on. It was like, you turn it on, it's complicated, it's on. Am I picturing the cover where there's like two people in bed and are the actors am I crazy saying Alec Baldwin

Meryl Streep you're not crazy we have a winner yes ding ding ding ring the Alec Baldwin alarm there's also

in that film Jack Nicholson is in it no isn't that it's complicated no it's Steve Martin oh Steve Martin

yeah sorry Steve Martin Jack Nicholson is the other one isn't that it's complicated no it's steve martin oh steve martin yeah sorry steve martin jack nicholson is uh the other one that has a title that means nothing something you've got to give something no yeah is that something you gotta give maybe that's the one i like what's the one with him and helen hud called uh as good as god these titles are useless uh but um her daughters i guess it's um uh alec baldwin Baldwin and Meryl Streep are divorced. But they have all these, they have to get together with their kids. Right. And their kids have very, the kids reminded me so much of the like brother and sister who are horny for each other in that coffee commercial.

Oh, yeah. Wow. I have to do a rewatch of this immediately yeah and the coffee commercial okay and what's the coffee commercial okay so it's boy I mean we could just watch it but it's I think it's for Folgers and it's this this like 22 year old son comes back from Africa? Sure. I think that's what I don't know why I think that.

Maybe they mentioned it but weird that I if not weird that I came to that conclusion. Well the first line he says when he walks in he's like it's a lot cooler here than Africa. Did he tell you that? But also maybe like he has a Christmas present that has like batik paper on it. But yeah, he comes inside and his sister's open the door.

His sister's like 18 and she opens the door before he even knocks because she's been waiting for him and he comes in and he drinks uh he drinks some coffee and gives her a present and then she takes the bow off the present and sticks it to him and says

uh you're my present this year oh yeah okay yeah that is huh that wouldn't have been my first choice as a writer well but it stuck with me more than any other coffee commercial but it maybe was written a certain way and then the actors put a little yeah what's uh what commercial do you remember the most oh well I mean my famous commercial that I always

remember the most is the there's two commercials Dawn Dish Soap Ducks in an Oil yeah classic

and Hot Swiffer woman who gets divorced from her broom oh does that have a song don't you want me

baby oh yeah yeah and the swiffer rolls up and is like, oh. Is the Swiffer on a motorcycle? Yeah, I mean, like, this is me thinking you guys from Africa. I was like, the Swiffer's on a motorcycle. The brooms drive.

They're racing down the road. Are the, like, the Swiffer and the broom, are they animated? So weirdly, no. I think they're kind of normal and then they kind of jiggle around a bit. But in a way, that's so erotic. I was like, Swiffers are hot, brooms are ugly. That's the beauty standard. That's true.

Yeah, and cleaning. Yeah, that duck one. That duck one. Oh, whoever came up with that. And apparently that duck one. That duck one. Oh, whoever came up with that. And apparently that's not true here. Apparently they,

when there's like an oil spill or something, the people who work cleaning ducks, there's like usually a call out for people to get Dawn from America. Oh.

Canadian Dawn doesn't have one of the ingredients. That's devastating to hear. Wow. I wonder if it's an ingredient that makes you like, it soaks into your hands and makes you high or something like that. That makes like washing dishes a treat. It's like the ducks didn't die from the

oil, but they did die from the toxic ingredient in the Don dish. I just know that if you're ever washing dishes in America, you might start quacking. There's something duck in there. So Danica. Yeah.

You are, you've moved to the city. You've been here how long? Five, 2018. So what is that? Five years. Five years. Five years. A Vancouverite five years.

Yes. And you've been doing standup the whole time? Yeah. Well, besides the pandemic in which I did not do stand-up. Did you do stand-up before you moved here? No. Did you move here to do stand-up? No.

I moved here because I was like, what else am I going to do? I want to live in the big city. Yeah, what am I going to do? Stay in my medium-sized town and just get pregnant? Exactly. And I was in a sub-medium-sized town at the time, Victoria. Oh, okay. So one thing about me... Wait. Yeah. So you were in

Kamloops, you went to Victoria? Yeah. Full medium-sized town. Yeah, it's medium. But then when you're there, it's actually kind of small. I mean, everything closes at 6 p.m. Everything closes at 6 p.m. And then I just had this memory of Vancouver driving over the Canby Street Bridge

and I was like, this is New York. Life is a highway. That is exactly what I was. Well, he does name check Vancouver in that song.

Does he? Yeah. Through all these cities and all these towns it's in my blood and it's all around. I loved you then and I loved you then.

Here it comes. This is the road and these are the hands from Mozambique, Africa, to those Memphis nights, the Kyber Pass to Vancouver's lights. No! Knock me down, I'm back up again. You're in my blood, I'm not a lonely man.

And this is the song, the original from like the 1920s. Sorry, Tom. I wonder if they changed it when they did it in the Cars soundtrack it was in the Cars soundtrack it was in the Cars

of course yeah that actually and it was like not big and rich but Florida Georgia Line or something did it I wonder if they

changed it oh that had to sound good yeah I bet you that sounded really nice I bet that sounded great

but you're gonna go for an even bigger city yeah the biggest that Europe has to offer the biggest Europe has to offer I don't know if I said that sounded great. But you're going to go for an even bigger city. Yeah. The biggest that Europe has to offer. The biggest Europe has to offer. I don't know if that's probably true. Probably true, right?

I think that's probably true. I don't know if they're technically part of Europe anymore. They famously exited. I know, which is hilarious. It's like, I seem to be going at the worst time. I'm going to London. And yeah, am I going during, I think they're in a recession? Maybe.

I didn't check before I applied for the visa. Am I going when they're no longer part of Europe? Yeah, I am. But I'm near Europe. It's close. I can paddle over. Nice. Yeah.

Did you have to, was there, was getting a visa very easy? It was so easy. It was actually too easy. And because it's the youth visa and they'll let anyone in they're like just prove you have like a little bit of money in your bank account and you improve that you're youth that you've got youthful joy so like you know what does uh lit mean yeah i've got a bunch of words here use lit in a sentence i actually need this because i have my daughter. I opened her phone. I don't know what's going on.

And I've really been putting a lot of emphasis on the youth part of the, I'm like, yeah, I'm going on the youth visa in case anyone cares. And then it came back in like two weeks and they're like, okay, you got it. And I was like, oh no, now I guess I got to go. Oh man. So now I'm trying to find a job. Yeah. Yeah.

Because you here, you work the social media for... Vancouver Coastal Health. For Coastal Health. Yeah. Yeah. And your videos are great. So... Very funny.

I'm kind of like knocking on the NHS's door saying, knock, knock. Hey, do you guys need someone over here? I'm on a youth visa young and passionate and but i don't know i don't know if you guys have ever applied for a job recently but where's no okay here's what i have to say where's this labor shortage yes people promised me a labor shortage people are saying no one were saying, no one wants to work. No one wants to work. And I was like, perfect. I'm going to swoop in. You want to work.

I want to work. And there's going to be millions of people desperate to have me. It's going to be like a big auctioning situation. People are going to be pitching me bidding. And that has not been the case. No. Not been the case. Now, what are the London jobs

you could have Jiminy Sweet Jiminy Sweet uh guard guard in front of yeah gap minder yeah gap minder

uh cobblestone yes cobblestone I'll cobblestone I can curl up yeah you can be

Jack the Ripper yeah yeah Winston Churchill's cigar maker is it wrong to say the queen yeah yeah you could be the queen you could totally be the queen yeah if I could work my way up be Jack the Ripper. Yeah. Winston Churchill's cigar maker. the queen? Yeah,

you could be the queen. You could totally be the queen. Yeah, if I could work my way up. Wait, but they'll look at your visa and be like, this is a youth visa. We can't let her be the queen.

She's got to get some years on it. The queen was a youth when she became the queen. The queen was on the youth visa. Of course. She was famously on the youth visa. Yeah,

so, I think cobblestone is sounding really good. That sounds pretty good. That sounds good. he's just famously on these tweets yeah so I think cobblestone sounding really good that sounds pretty good that sounds good and it is one of those cities which I've heard about

Vancouver too where they're like not only are we the most expensive city but we also have the lowest wages nice and I'm like

whoa that's such a cool combo I didn't know I didn't even do it that way that's so different and awesome of you guys

um have you been before nope oh wow i know okay this was a conversation that i had with someone recently where i was like i was like at dinner with a friend of a friend you know you don't have to go that and that is like that absolutely and people keep telling me that and i keep saying but my philosophy is like literally the less you know. Oh, sure. Or else you'll never do anything. Sure, yeah. You can't.

If you start thinking about how hard something's going to be, you just have to not do that. Knowledge is the opposite of power. Smart. That's smart. Yeah, yeah. I love it. Thank you. Yeah.

So there's no plan. So this was a conversation I had. It was truly like, this person was trying to be so nice and really give me the benefit of the doubt. They were like, so you're moving to London. Do you have a job lined up?

And I was like, no. And they were like, do you have a place to stay? No. And they're like, you know people in the city then, like stand-ups, you know some guys.

No. I was like, this move is absolutely like lol do you have friends here when you moved here and i'm not rephrasing that this is a new question did you when you moved here did you have any friends okay yeah look yeah it's fine you have four friends now No, I didn't. Yeah. Look, look at you. It's fine. You have four friends now.

I have at least four friends now. How did you find, when you moved here, how did you find a place to live? Oh, well, let's just say

it didn't go well. I lived on, because I got offered my salary, which was $35,000. And I was like, this is awesome. I'm part of the 1%.

I was like, when they say eat the rich, they're talking about me. And then I figured out, I was like, oh, okay, just kidding. I actually can't find much for this. So I ended up living in an SRO. And it didn't have a bathroom. And it didn't have a kitchen.

And it was shared a floor with a club. Danica! Yeah. Where were your parents when all this was going on? My parents were furious at me. They were like, why are you doing this? Which is kind of similar to... Then I signed a 10-year lease with the Denver Road.

But I've made a lot of friends here, Mom and Dad, so this is where we're fine. It's a single-room occupancy? No, standing room only. Yes, standing! I here, Bob and Ed. So this is, we're fine. It's a single room occupancy? No. Standing room only. Yes, standing. I had to stand and sleep. And that basically is what it was. So as long as I have a bathroom in London, like, I am moving up.

The graph is moving up. Yes, yes. Well, don't count your chicken. Because actually, most expensive, worst wages, fewest bathrooms. Fewest. Plumbing doesn't even exist there. Yeah, they just got it. They just figured it out.

So, yeah, if I get a bathroom, that will be really cool and good. But, yeah, my move to Vancouver was kind of like infamously rocky road. But then it was kind of like funny. So it was all worked out fine. My parents will beg to differ because I did call them crying like every month. Like, I'm being bitten by so many poisonous spiders in my sleep. They're like, they're there. They're just bedbugs.

They're not spiders. And guess what? They were spiders. Oh, shit. Yeah. Because the person was like all the other units

have bed bugs but yours has poisonous spiders ah poisonous so it keeps the bed bugs at bay keeps the bed bugs away

oh do you Graham do you remember your first salary yeah like I know I'm struggling to think of a time

that I would be called a salary because yeah because it was like I'm sure you probably just got minimum wage at whatever. But I remember signing a contract that I was like, I'm not going to work here for a year, but my yearly salary would be $18,000. Yeah. Yeah. And then when they lump it together like that, you're like, well, that actually does sound like a lot of money.

Yeah. Yeah. Like that $18,000. I could. What can I get with that? Not a car. I could not get a car. Yeah.

1999 or something. When I was finishing school and I was at film school, the teacher that I really liked said, you know, you know, you don't need much just to kind of get started out there. You need a thousand bucks a month. You'll be fine. I was like, I was like, yeah. And I was a thousand bucks.

Wow. Got me everything I needed. Wow. Okay. I think they should break down salaries instead of being like, we're paying you $60,000. They should break it down by like poke balls or something. Oh,

this is how many poke balls. This is how many poke balls you could get with this amount of money per year. How many Pokeballs do you eat in a year? Probably like one a week. Really? Okay. Well, now I'm the banker, a.k.a. I'm trying to save money. So Pokeballs have gotten a bullet in the head from me.

Sure. And what's replaced them? Saltines? And what's replaced them is this toast with peanut butter yeah okay i had that today yeah and it's great it's great it's curvy my teeth i definitely feel like it's a very healthy like i'm being very healthy i'm gonna do a pokeball exactly yeah it's like and one thing about me is I just need to eat food that like is aesthetically healthy.

Okay. That, which is why I'm excited for famous London or famous Europe, Pret-a-manger. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Get yourself a, a gobbler sandwich. Yeah. You got Pret, you got Marks and Sparks.

They have some sandwiches in there. Oh yeah. Gotta go to Greg's, get a sausage roll at Greg's. Oh, man. That's Greg's with three G's. This is already worth it. This is going to be amazing.

So where are you going to live? Now I'm worried about you. Okay, you're doing an impression of my mom? Okay, I have a name. Guys, listeners, come down. Relax. Our listeners, by the way, are so on board. They know you'll do great.

Honestly, a lot of our listeners think you have a British accent. Well, okay, one of your listeners, can I give a shout out to one listener that you have? Yeah. Last time we did the episode, because usually when I'm on a podcast, like 500 people are like, her voice is going to make me want to jump off a bridge. And that is just the reality.

And that's fine. And I implore you, and I apologize. It's the Kelowna or Kamloops accent. It's the Kamloops accent. When Kelly Olenek does a post-game interview. He sounds exactly like this. How many poke bowls did I eat this week? And this listener said, they were like, I had to shut it off.

And then I went back because I obviously read everything that's ever been written about me. They went back and they were like, guys, I started listening to the episode again and she really grew on me. I finished the episode. And to that person, I say you are my biggest supporter. Yeah. Could be somebody from London.

We all downloaded from London. You've been dragged on the internet quite a bit, haven't you? Oh, I've been dragged deeper and wider than anyone has ever been dragged before. internet quite a bit haven't you oh i've been dragged deeper and wider than anyone has ever been dragged before it's it's not fair it was not fair and it was not cool it's happened many times and my thing is i'm the only person who hasn't gone viral off of not me it's kind of like millions of people going viral. And I'm like, why am I not one of them? Yeah. It's off of me.

A lot of people are. A lot of comedians are like, I'm my own worst critic. Yeah. You're not. No, I'm not. No, other people are. I am going to, anytime, if I ever post a stand-up clip, I'm going to post it. And then I'm going to quote tweet it saying, we should kill this girl.

And then that, I'm going to blow up off of that. Comedian threatens to kill self in third person. That's my social media strategy. Yeah. But back to your question. Yes. I have a Airbnb. Okay.

In East London for the first month. And when I say Airbnb, I mean a bedroom in someone else's house. Someone else's flat? In someone else's flat in someone else's yeah and actually this is an amazing time to let you guys know someone did message me um this is a connection I have in London it is my friend's fiance's ex-roommate okay Okay. Yeah, I have an amazing network. And he messaged me two days ago saying, I think I have a place for you. And I said, okay, where?

I've been on Red for three days. Wow. I'm shaking in my boots. What is, and you've looked, I'm guessing at craigslist.uk.

It's Craigslist with two Gs. And is everything as crazy as... It is here. Do you guys want to hear the price, what we're working with over there? Do I need to get out my conversion chart? I think you should hold on to something. I've converted.

Hold on to something. I've converted. Hold my hand. You guys might want to hold each other's hands. For a place with about average four roommates, not in central London, but just like a bit outside, it's about $1,500 a month for a room.

Right. Okay. Dollars a month or? Dollars a month. Okay. No, doll hairs. It's weird. There's a lot of dolls in London they need to carry.

Yeah, but there's a loophole where if you say doll hairs, they have to let you do it. Yeah, so that's kind of what we're doing. So $1,500 for a room. Yeah, for a room. That feels like that's what it would be here-ish. No, for a five bedroom. Oh, for a five bedroom. Yeah, it's not a studio. It's like a room five bedroom and you pay for a five bedroom. Yeah.

It's like, it's not a studio. It's like a room in, it's like you have five roommates. Okay. And you pay $1,500. Kind of like the best

of both worlds. Yeah, that's true. It's like, what if you could pay that much and have so many friends? Yeah,

$1,500 here is like the lowest for a one bedroom, right? No. Oh, I would say for like a studio. Oh, okay. Yeah. if you were lucky

yeah yeah yeah so that's so out of touch so i do need to be the ceo of a company that's what i figured out i'm like i need to apply for jobs and i need to go straight to the top yeah i need to be cfo have you yeah so when you're like searching on searching jobs. You just search girl boss. Skills slain. And yeah, the jobs are bravely being like, we're not going to pay you enough to live here. Oh,

they do say that. They say that. That's their big opener. But they say, but we do offer a fast-paced environment. Okay, what do you guys feel about fast-paced environments? Be honest. I'm actually not into them at the moment.

No. Yeah, I feel like I function well under pressure and in fast-paced environments. Oh, yes, sorry. You are good with fast-paced environments? Yes. Well, okay, every employer is foaming at the mouth. Graham's writing a cover letter. Actually, what's weird, the things in this ad uniquely fit my skill set and experience, bro.

It's my favorite kind of environment to dive in. Because I am just like, oh, whatever happened to normal-paced environments? Do they not exist? Like, where is the normal ones? That's true. Good question. Yeah, I'm sure I'd love to be extremely stressed every day.

But what if it was normal? How about that? Look, if you want a normal, you go back to Camp Loop. Yeah, normal paced environment. Or you can bid on someone's shoes. I'm going to the fast pace. And if you're an employer listening to this right now, I can work in the fastest-paced environments you've ever heard of.

Get me on that treadmill. I don't know. Do you ever get a glimpse of these jobs with the fast-paced environment? Is it like, go, go, go, in the right way? Is it like Lyser depending on? runaway is it like lives are depending on yeah I mean yeah exactly like ambulance driver fast pace environment yes yeah yeah

I feel like I've worked in a artificially fast pace environment where it was like I was writing tweets for 7-11 and everyone was like get it out get it out we gotta get this out now and I was like it just says get your chicken wings tuesday like yeah but it's monday we need them to know and so did you work social media for

7-eleven i did what how for how long for two years you went oh so you you experienced two 7-eleven days yeah and slurpy day slur Crazy Hair Day. What are the biggest, like what, what's the busiest day at 7-Eleven? Is it July 11th? Yeah. That is our big,

that was the big day. Which is, this is our moment. And it's free. They're free Slurpees. They're free Slurpees. And you get a small one, right?

You get a small one. And then there was more events, like there was Slurpee Crazy Hair. They did more. Yeah, I'm not interested in Slurpee Crazy Hair Day. Everyone knows about that. Do you find that on... I still work for them.

July 11th. Do you find the Slurpees get a little soupy by the end of the day? You know what? Are you a Slurpee drinker? I'm not a Slurpee drinker. There it is. Because it doesn't have the appearance of being healthy.

Yeah, exactly. The tweets really read as this person's never had a Slurpee. This has never had a Slurpee. Okay, tell me about Slurpee Crazy Hair Day. Yeah, me writing tweets about Slurpee was a bit disingenuous. No, I'm serious. What is Slurpee Crazy Hair Day? So this, you guys are going to love this

and you're going to want to participate so you do your hair crazy on a day that 7-Eleven tells you they made this day up Well Graham's been watching these dreadlock ladies

Yeah Yeah exactly I could You could go in and then you just go here's my crazy hair and can I have a Slurpee please and they go

absolutely and there was also bring your own container yes I've heard about this what's the craziest container I've also been doing an amazing

job as a publicist because you guys knew about bucket bags what's the craziest container you heard about oh it's like construction hat that's I guess that's

not like people would bring coolers have you seen just fill up a cooler just fill up a big cooler well that'd be fun if you were having a party or if you wanted ants they actually had to

implement size restrictions yeah sort of my ex-wife what's your ex-wife's name again my ex-wife yeah Jada Jada you keep her name

out of your mouth oh the have you seen the thing Jada. Jada. You keep her name out of your mouth. Have you seen the thing that some schools do? I don't know if it's a tradition or if it's just like a viral thing that's happened where they do a day where kids aren't allowed backpacks and they have to carry around their stuff in anything but a backpack. That's fun. Whoa, that's fun.

That was actually normal at my high school because backpacks weren't cool. What would you carry around? So get this. I would have a binder for every subject and I would just carry them loose in my arms trudging up an icy hill.

And if one of us fell, our binders would just shatter all over the ground and papers would fly everywhere. I feel like you watch like the Wonder Years or anything set in the 60s. Yes.

And people are just carrying books. Yes. Holding books. It was almost an accessory. Or do you remember like the famous scene in Harry Potter where Hermione's like clutching her book to her chest?

I don't know. That really resonated with me. Yeah, that's not the famous scene in Harry Potter. That's not the famous scene. She doesn't do the social media for the Harry Potter. That's the famous scene in Harry do the social media for the Harry Potter that's the famous

scene in Harry Potter and I was like I should do that and I should like be holding a book I think back in like the older than the Wonder Years

era people would have a belt a belt yeah that went around their book oh whoa and you would just

carry this belt with your books your books that's genius see you could have been I could have been doing that you could have

filled a Slurpee with a belt. And instead I was sliding down icy Kamloops Hills. But you made it. Look at you. You're on the other side of it. Well, if anybody out there is in London, got any hot tips, send them our way. We'll pass them on to Danica. Are you looking at it?

Yeah. She's on TikTok. Just a search for toupee talk i'm on toupee talk she makes a lot of comments on toupee talk you can find her there a lot of the mean comments she gets she passes along yeah it's sort of a yeah i'm a big troll on toupee talk and you're gonna do stand-up over there yes nice oh get your puns ready me saying yes i am i'm not booked on a single show yeah keep that in mind but yeah but my friend's ex-fiance's roommate has a show you can maybe be on and guess what he does

i have a someone gave me a spreadsheet of the most random shows and I've never heard of many of these neighborhoods so I'm gonna go do those yeah yeah cool and um

yeah that's kind of it so London watch out for yeah watch out for this what uh what would

if you when you're landing in London what song do you want in your head as you land there you know I guess it's like concrete jungle wait I landing in London, what song do you want in your head as you land there? New York, concrete jungle, wait, I'm in London. Party in Britain.

I'm excited. It's like, I want that mood of song, but it can't be about the United States of America. How about this? How about this? Nope, that's still You'll Be My American Boy. But they do have that famous line um just touched down in londontown so what if i just listened to that part of the song it's like i skip skip skip scrub scrub scrub and then soon as the plane hits i just touched down in

londontown yeah yeah i think fergie also had a song that mentioned every time you come around i have a thing with this song, though, because I was banned from listening to this song as a kid because my dad did this really... My parents love to make up the most random rules, and one rule was I wasn't allowed to listen to Fergie's London Bridge unless I could explain what it meant. And to this day, I actually can't.

Yeah. Do either of you guys want to take a stab? How come every time you come around my London, London bridge, want to go down like London, London, London? I always thought it was a sex thing. Yeah, I think it's a sex thing. Like a person in between two standing. I think it's every time you come around, like, I pull my pants.

That's what a lot of people think. And yet, like, that's not, there's no way to prove that. No. It's not a common in London, though. Well, she's the Duchess. She's the Duchess. London Bridge coming down. God Save the Queen.

Sex Pistols. Old song, but, you know, very, very London. London Calling yeah okay okay these are just workshop

we're just workshopping doesn't Lily Allen have a song called LDN maybe and it's about London

that's that's as good as see my dad would not let you listen to London Bridge after that

I'm sorry to say you're to have to bleep it off of this podcast. Yeah. Your dad's a big listener, right? Yeah. You guys don't. He's going to write

mean stuff about you. He's the guy who's like, I couldn't make it to this episode. He's like, but I finally came around at the end. Well,

I'm so excited for you. This is so cool. Dave, what's going on with you man well we did we we haven't recorded in three weeks because graham went away for a week we were planning we pre-taping a bunch and then graham was like also because i was going away for two weeks and then graham was like also i'm going away for a week and it's not one of your two weeks whoa okay so uh we haven't seen each other in Hawaii. Hawaii-le. Covered. Covered.

Perfect. In Hawaii-le. But hello. Hello. I went to Europe. I went to. Former home of Great Britain, if I have not mistaken. Yep.

They miss her. We flew into Copenhagen, Denmark. Ooh. And stayed there for a few days Abby's brother lives there and did some fun stuff there we've been there a few times

kite boarding we went that thing where there's like jets and you can fly around to the lake that's like water pads. Yeah. Like that guy who's like, we'll be right back after these messages. Hydrofoil. Yeah, so we did hydrofoil.

We did all the extreme sports on the canals. No, what we did was we went to like, there's an amusement park there. We went to twice. Called Tivoli. And what, give me the temperature of this amusement park.

Oh, 19 degrees. Is it like teeny tiny? No. Do they have a really big roller coaster? It's really old. It's 180 years old. Oh, I don't like that. Yeah.

All the rides were pretty new though. Oh, I don't like that. Yeah. All the rides were pretty new, though. Okay. Okay. I like that. And we ate a lot of weird hot dogs. Oh, sure. What was weird? Tied in a knot?

No. Shaped like a hamburger? What was a hamburger? The bun. You don't put a hot dog in the middle of the bun and close it. The bun has a hole in it, and the hot dog sticks out the top top the wiener sticks out the top of the now you want something to eject holy shit yeah my london bridge yeah danica's dad wouldn't let me eat this hot dog unless you tell me this looks like explain this hot dog and Abby's brother rented us this boat and we went on like a sushi like it's a boat where you can go

around the canals and you just it's got a table in the middle and you just order dinner and you don't know but it was a lovely day oh what did you have sushi sushiushi on the water. On the water. Yeah. It was like a homecoming for the sushi. It's actually kind of sick and twisted. You know what you think about it. Yeah. You think about it. And then we, so from Copenhagen, then we took a train to southern Sweden where Abby's Aunt Sheila lives.

And we stayed there for like 10 days. Actually, in the middle, we went and visited Abby's boss in a town called Vekwa. Guess how you spell Vekwa. W? No. V-E-Q-U-E-U-X. There is an X. There is an X.

Does it start with an X? Nope. Does it start with a Q? V-A-X-J-O. Vaxjo. Oh, Vaxjo. Wow. This is why I can't be there.

Yeah. And we did. That's your next plan is just to dive headfirst into Denmark. That's why I can't be there. And there we did like very like folksy stuff. Like we went foraging. Oh, yeah. We went and got like chanterelles and blueberries and raspberries out of the earth.

Wow. Nice. A lot? Or are we talking like a fistful? We went with Sheila's family and Abby's boss's family. And so we all had baskets and we were just picking. Oh, that's very fairytale. Yeah, that is so fable.

It was very cutesy. yeah yeah and then we came home and no one wanted to no the kids didn't want the kids who picked all the stuff were like i'm not eating i know who picked this um but yeah it was very fun yeah um we stayed we like it was remarkably cheaper than staying home oh really how like the food what was cheap well it was like because we just stayed with people we knew right and then like you know we went to a couple restaurants and i paid i was like i'll pay for everyone please let me let me repay you and uh but other than that it was like, I'll pay for everyone. Please let me, let me repay you. And, uh, but other than that, it was like, my biggest expense on the trip was like our dog sitters here.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Wow. Uh, and then we bought the trip with points. Nice. Many months ago. And I was like, wow, I'm actually like saving money on this trip. And then I came home and I've been home for four days

and I've literally spent $600 on groceries. Wow. Yeah, we're doing great here in the land of plenty. I think it was, used to be. I don't know what happened. Groceries will get you, Pokeballs. You bought about 60 Pokeballs.

Yeah, exactly. I came home and I was like, I'll just buy some, you know, necessities just like the morning after we got home. And it was $360. And I was like, I didn't even get any meals. Like, I didn't even get any stuff for meals. These are just staples.

Yeah. Yeah. My kids eat staples. It's weird. It's a weird thing. It's expensive. They were raised, you raised them to be like one of the guys

in Guinness Book of World Records that eats metal. Yeah, Mr. Mange II from France. But yeah, any questions about Scandinavia? I have some questions. So as I kind of mentioned to you earlier, off pod, now we talk off the pod. Yeah, she's bragging that I said hello to her. Yeah, you said hello to the door. You're bragging that I said hello to her.

Yeah, you said hello to the door. So, the big influencer culture over there. Every influencer is coming out of Copenhagen. Okay. They're wearing big blazers. They're wearing jeans that are low. What was the street style that you witnessed? Okay, the street style.

Hmm. What was the style where you were fortunate? Yeah, what were you wearing? Yeah, actually, yeah. What do you wear when you travel? I wore, it was very cold.

Like the, literally the, there was one day in two weeks where it got to 20. Oh. And it was rainy and windy. And we went to Copenhagen and Abby was like, when uh and we went to copenhagen and abby was

like when we go up to sheila's house let's not bring all our luggage so we had to like pare down some of the clothes we had yeah and i was like this was a bad idea because now i don't have enough clothes you're not fitting in with the influencers no you're looking ugly you're like i don't have i forgot my big boxy blazer i didn't see too many big boxy blazers but i know what you're talking about yeah um maybe we're just in the tourist this is good to know because maybe this is a myth like maybe i think i'm about to go to europe like and i think i'm dressing europe but maybe this is like three girls who just post a lot yeah it is it is weird when, yeah. Yeah, yeah. The people must have something when they're not on their phones. Yeah.

Yeah, no, I don't, yeah, I can't, I couldn't tell you. Okay, and are you doing, are you doing sneaker or other shoe when you're walking around? When I'm walking around. Or whenever. I brought two sets of shoes. was i'm a dad and i was going to europe with my children and so i was like i need to walk i need to walk around i'm gonna walk around so i wore a sneaker but that is the most copenhagen of them all because

what all the influencers wear is dad sneakers that i was wearing dad's sneakers i would nice you're gonna show up on my instagram i don't know if that's true but you're in street style um yeah maybe i don't know if i was photographed by anyone certainly no one asked to take my picture yeah that's true it's a freaking dangerous world we're living anyway i'm gonna take your picture yeah man i'm just trying to harass a fast food employee don't film me doing that um but the my uh one of the like copenhagen is a famously uh cyclable city yeah it's very flat and they've got like uh bike lanes everywhere and like two directions of bike lanes oh wow oh whoa so like you're not competing with people coming at you nice um and abby's brother has one of those bikes it's called a christiania bike that has it's a cargo bike that has like the giant wooden bucket in the

front oh yeah yeah i don't actually know if it's wooden actually maybe it Maybe. That's dangerous. And you can, like, have, put your groceries in there or two kids can fit in there. Whoa. Depending on how many groceries you're buying. Yeah. Yeah. So, one day I was like, and it's an electric bike. Okay. Which I've never ridden either.

Okay. And one day I was like, can I borrow your bike? And just, uh, it was the day we had come back over from Sweden and, uh, uh, Margo had been feeling sick earlier in the day. So we didn't do anything. I was like, let's do something. Can I borrow your bike? And I, there's a little, the statue of the little mermaid. Ah, okay.

Uh, cause Hans Christian Andersen is from Copenhagen. Okay. Because Hans Christian Andersen is from Copenhagen. Okay. And so I was like, I'll bike down and take the kids to see this thing. And as we were going, I was like, by the way, this is going to be very boring for you. Just so you know, kids, we're going to get there. Get in the bucket. We're going to get there and it's going to be a statue that's like the size of a woman.

To scale. And i i drove it i've never driven an electric bike before and uh you so you put your key in the battery in the back okay oh there's a key yeah and oh losing interest i don't like that I don't like that first of all let's start there you put your key in the battery in the back

and then turn it and it turns on and then you vroom your way you gotta keep spinning

you gotta keep pedaling right okay but it's easier oh yeah okay the pedaling

at a certain point is just like for sure it's like yeah you're just decoration convincing the battery that you're doing something Right yeah that you're not But you're like you're not Once you're going fast you're like not contributing

To the forward motion at all Which was kind of scary because it's very hard to maneuver This thing with two wheels in the front Oh This sounds like a car You're like you had two wheels in the front Two wheels in the back Two Oh, and a giant, this sounds like a car. You're like, you had two wheels in the front, two wheels in the back,

two kids could fit in there. A key goes in it. It goes vroom, vroom. So you're driving a car. So, uh, going through the city

and I was kind of like, some, there's some tight turns and it's like, I got to get off and push and it's fine. Yeah. Uh,

or like you go through construction and you're like, I get off and push and it's fine yeah uh or like you go through construction and you're like i can't i i got i i'm walking through yeah i don't want anybody seeing me lately all the construction guys have filled their hard hats with slurpees and so uh event it takes like 20 minutes to get there and uh i'm as we're approaching like remember, you're not going to like this. And so we get there and I park the bike. I get off. I go to take the key out.

I see the key is like a little bit bent in the battery. Uh-oh. I go to pull it out and it breaks. No. Oh, shit. That is the worst thing that could happen. i'm as far away from home as i could possibly be as long as i'm not your bike it's not my bike oh man like i on the way so i'm we go look at this little mermaid i take a picture of the girls i'm like look disappointed it's fine

you gotta teach kids disappointment as well you, and it's not all good things. Yeah. Sometimes you owe $20,000 for a bike. Well, that was the thing. It was like the whole time I'm thinking, okay, I'm buying this guy, buying a new battery, at least the rest of the bike is fine. For now. Yeah.

But now I have to pedal back yeah and so i did that the motor wasn't broken in the on position it was bro i turned it off and it broke i tried to like even fidget with it and try to get it yeah yeah yeah the turn back oh so you had to like manually bike manually wow good for you yeah and i did it was a beautiful night out there and it was like so it's so it was like if if i hadn't been worried about having to pay for this battery yeah your cheap copenagin vacation yeah it would have been like the uh the most like um uh you know whatever carefree existence yeah yeah and then uh so i got back and i was like um good news and bad news the good news is you're getting a new battery and abby's brother was like oh no i've done that before i have a bunch of extra keys

amazing that is the best case scenario yeah he was he was like, this happened to me, and we went to a locksmith, and he pulled the key out and made a bunch of copies for me. Nice. All good. All worked out. All worked out. When you break something and someone's like, that has happened to me, or, oh, it was already broken.

Are there any sweeter words in the English language? Well, I mean, how come every time you come around, my London language is up there? We're still not sure what it is. Danica's dead. We're working on it. We're working around the clock. We have our top minds. We have a committee.

We're in the lab day and night, but we can't figure it out. Fun trip. Yeah, that sounds like it. figure it out fun trip yeah that sounds like it it was a fun trip would you live there? question mark no I live here yeah

that's so true no I guess so yeah yeah was there hot guys? should I go? is what I'm asking

yeah there's hot guys but as Abby was telling you upstairs which we did talk before by the way sensibly the Should I go is what I'm asking. Yeah, there's hot guys. But as Abby was telling you upstairs. Which we did talk before, by the way. Sensibly. The Scandinavian attractiveness, it's like the floor is a lot higher. But the ceiling is not any higher. Okay.

There are attractive people. Everyone there is healthy and in good shape. Yeah. But not everyone's a model a knockout okay i'll still go that's all i need oh yeah yeah that's all that's perfect it's all part of danica's journey that's yeah that's gonna be awesome there was one when we went when we took the ferry back from sweden to i don't know if you'll this is something I'm thinking like is a, you know, a thumbs up for this part of the world. As we were walking on the ferry, it was sort of like we were kind of overwhelmed with the smell of gasoline and like the ocean.

Like these are, this is sort of why I hate taking boats is like I hate that smell of a marina. Mm. Uh, and then. The ocean sounds like a Lana Del Rey song.

But then, we walk, so we're walking on the, the boarding area and then as soon as we got on the ferry, it is just hot dog smell. Wall to wall.

Wow. Hot dog smell. Whoa. So are, is there fairy like how we have white spot? Do they have hot dog? That's awesome. Wow.

That's great. That's really something else. Yeah. And there are cultural differences between Swedish and Danish hot dogs that I won't go into, but needless to say, they're not, I die on this.

Uh, yeah, it's but they you know they they appreciate each other's okay

there's a mutual respect the way that we'll like the way that we or me will drive to America to eat Taco Bell okay oh wow

good and where did you go where did I go yeah for your week I went to an island called Salt Spring Island. Oh, I've never been, but it sounds like the Copenhagen of BC.

Yeah. And if you want to see some junior attempts at some dreadlocks, you're going to find them there. Absolutely. If you're wondering who the most famous person from there is, it's Rafi. Yeah, it's a lot of rich people live over there. And it's a lot of crunchy, granola-y types. And I don't know how they staff any of their places because I don't think there's anywhere to live over there. No.

But while I was there, I took out a canoe canoe went on the lake in a canoe solo there's a lake on the island duo there's a lake yeah there's a couple lakes on there oh and so like i haven't been maybe i haven't been on a canoe since let's say i was about 10 years old yeah you went there with your wife i did and we were we had a. And we were tasked with bringing it back if we didn't want to use the canoe. But you can use it if you want it. And we'll pick it up later. So it was like, okay, we'll use it. Now, were you like a typical married couple?

Going with the different strokes? Yes. Bickering. Yeah. J-stroke, J-stroke. Yeah, exactly. strokes yeah yeah bickering yeah j-stroke j-stroke yeah exactly we intuitively knew how to do it even though like uh like i said when i was 10 this is the last time i ever did but we knew which side you had to go on to turn yeah i do we had to go straight and but there was nowhere to go that's the thing once you're in a canoe it's there no, unless there's a cool store on the other side. Yeah. There's kind of, you just get

to the other side and then just paddle back. Yeah. But we were like, okay, we'll go down this far end. And then we got close enough. There were people there and we got close enough. Then we realized it was all teenagers. And we were like, back up, back up. Get out of here. It's too late. Now, this is

something that will relate to both of you. Oh my God. Do you know the poet Dennis Lee? Canadian poet. Alligator Pie. Yeah. Like children's poems. Yeah, yeah.

It's a no for me. It's a no for me. No for Danica. No, he didn't. Alligator Pie. It's a no for Danica. It's a garbage delight. Nope.

And he had a book called Jelly Belly. Okay. That was a bunch of poems. And one of them was, you'll enjoy this. Yeah. And he had a book called Jelly Belly. Okay. And it was a bunch of poems. And one of them was, you'll enjoy this. Yeah. You'll enjoy this. Canoe, and here we go. And let's see if I can remember this. And it's a poem, and here we go.

I can canoe. Whoa, it's really short. No, wait, here we go. I can canoe to Kalamazoo. I can canoe to Kamloops. Ah. I can canoe at a quarter to two in a van in a traffic jam loops. There's a picture of a guy canoeing in a traffic jam.

How is this not on the sign when you drive into mentioned in that's our town jingle actually our town jingle is cam loops this is our home which is so bare bones where where do they play this theme of your town they would play the theme on the radio every morning can't and just to remind you like we're in town loops and yeah for better or worse yeah it's your home sorry sorry just break it to your kids you can't leave you live in a mid-sized town dreams smaller small dreams um okay and i actually used to canoe a lot as a kid well the fact that you knew jay stroke yeah yeah you were you know what you're talking about my parents made us portage the canoe down a lot of trails and no i didn't like it at the time did your family own a canoe oh we owned several you're a canoe owning family oh big we

got the kevlar we got the whatever the other material fiberglass fiberglass straight up wood straight up and we didn't have a wood okay that was where my dad drew the line that was too heavy We got the whatever the other material is. Fiberglass. Straight up wood. Straight up. We didn't have a wood. Okay. That was where my dad drew the line. That was too heavy to portage. Yeah, that would be too heavy. That was, you know, you're making two kids carry a canoe.

Yeah. Yeah, you can't go wood. That's social services get involved. Yeah. So it's the four of you? It's the four of us. And I would always like, so they were like, you need to wear sensible shoes because we're going camping. And I was always like, well, what if I run into a boy from my school and I'm wearing sensible shoes?

That just won't do. Keep in mind, I was 10. Boys from my school weren't like, which shoes is she wearing? That's all I talked about when I was 10. Did you see Carmen's weird shoes? Yeah, they were way too sensible. I talked about when I was 10. Did you see Carmen's weird shoes?

Yeah, they were way too sensible. And so I would portage the canoe in silver, um, low Chateau flip flops with a big fake diamond on them. Oh, nice. Yeah. Okay. And it made me stronger.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, did you like, would you go rivers, lake? Um, we did one river and some lakes.

Okay. Yeah. Rivers seems pretty scary. No, wait, we didn't do river. We did Bower and Lakes, which is kind of like river adjacent. There's always scary stories like, oh, the river where we flipped. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That had occurred to me at one point.

Like, if this flips over, I'm just going to take in as much water as I can and just die. Have you been white water rafting yeah and I hated it yeah I did as well and fell fell out of the thing oh really

and did someone have to snatch the back of your life jacket isn't that the most humiliating the whole and also my the only reason

that I didn't float off is my arm was caught under a rope no so the whole time I was like my arm's gonna fall off I remember I did it in the 80s and like wore a life jacket and a helmet yeah and it was like house like you didn't have to wear a helmet for anything in the 80s that's

true yeah that's true it's not safe again you get in and you're like this must be safe and then you're like oh it's just not no yeah the waiver that was that was for a reason with the waivers for a reason you're like take me back to shore yeah yeah yeah

this is crazy and that is the most powerless position being lifted up by the life jacket yeah it's like you're a kitten

yeah yeah although sometimes I crave that if things are going bad in London someone needs to lift me up

by the life jacket yeah well just wear a backpack everywhere you go first of all backpacks in London no problem not like your

high school whoa okay awesome that's amazing news I'm throwing out my belt yeah yeah I mean you keep it

around if you got like a pants situation yeah yeah I mean getting picked up by the belt is pretty good too that'd be pretty good whoa

then you're gonna tip over well sure it's in wedgie territory but also if somebody's fitting you for pants they kind of pull you up by the trousers

yeah that's kind of fun yeah that's kind of fun yeah it's been a while since I've been fitted for pants you should go to the bay.

I guess so. Sure. Just have them size me up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually, don't go to the bay. It's abandoned in there. I went and it was like, I was like, they actually want me to steal. They're like, we're going to make it easier to steal than to find a cashier.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, this is this actually is it? I bet this is a reality show. It's a test. And they're like, will this customer steal? Oh, and she did. Look at her go. Yeah, it is.

The Times I've gone has been abandoned. But I can't remember if, because you always had to walk through the perfume department, which was overstaffed. Yes. Is that still overstaffed? I think that it's. Yeah. I think that it's still. The most staff they have.

You go up to the second floor. There's tumbleweeds rolling around. That was always my experience with the bay. Okay. Like. Yeah. Always. Because I remember very vividly being able to try on every shoe that I wanted.

Like every single shoe I could just unbox and put them on. Put them messily back. Yes. Yeah, because no one's watching. A lot of open merchandise. Yeah.

A lot of open merchandise. A lot of underwear stuffed back into the box. Yes. Yes. If you're looking for a place to go be alone, that's an amazing space to go.

Yeah. Yeah. Kind of the echoing halls. There's always like a rack of clothes in front of the change room so you can't go in there yeah

they don't want you in there it's really scary it is scary it's really frightening it's Canada's version of a haunted house yeah

yeah an abandoned bay do you guys want to move on to some overheards? sure I'd do it you there have you considered

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Come get all this good good. Or this great great. Overheard. Overheard. Overheard's a segment on the show you know and love because it's a place to put, to channel all those things that you hear and see out there in the world. And we can appreciate them here on the podcast. And we always like to start with the guest, Danica. Do you have an overheard? Yes, I do.

And this is what it is it was i'll set the scene a little bit it's a girl in a group um and they were drinking at prospritz's at gusto's cafe and she said no you don't understand if you if you know knew how he was being i'm totally justified in doing this which i love love. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I felt so seen by that. Cause I was like, okay, so she's obviously doing something absolutely nuts.

Yeah. And she's defending it to the tribunal, which is her friends. And I liked the, you don't understand if you knew how he was being, you'd know, I'd totally justify. Yeah.

In doing this. Though that's the worst when you are like saying it to your friends that they think you're wrong. You're like, wait, no, wait, you're on my side. And when the worst when you are like saying it to your friends and they think you're wrong and you're like, wait, no, wait, you're on my side. And when already you were kind of like, I know this is crazy. You're like,

I know this is crazy, but I'm going to tell my friends because they're my friends. Yeah, they'll back me up. As it's leaving your mouth, you're like, actually, maybe this could have stayed in.

Yeah, this was maybe I need to work on my storytelling more than anything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, have you guys ever accidentally revealed something to a friend that was that you were like no your friends know nothing about you no my friends know nothing about anything yeah have i ever had no graham you haven't i don't think i have you've never have we're like this actually you don't tell me anything about your life. That's true. There's not much to know, really.

You know, a couple of beers, a canoe. I'm happy as a clam. Yeah. Wow, tell me shrouded in shameful behavior. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I get off on it, so we're going to do it. Man. Dave, do you have an overhurt? Yeah. So this're going to do man. Um, Dave, do you have an over here? Yeah.

Uh, uh, so this is my children. Um, this is like too cute. Like it's not cute. It's cute. Sure.

But it's like two perfect. Like it's from a joke book. Okay. Um, because anyway, my daughters were playing with Sheila's son, Louie. Okay. They were jumping on their trampoline.

And, uh, my youngest daughter, Poppy was, I guess, acting crazy and someone called her a psychopath. Okay. And, uh, she said, what's a psychopath? And they said a crazy person. And then Poppy said, oh, mom told me it's where bikes go oh so cute that is cute from the mouth of babes yeah wow a cycle path a cycle path i mean there was even uh maybe a bike store in town called cycle probably yeah wow okay that's

a psychopath that's a psychopath it is funny that somebody would call somebody a psychopath instead of like the psycho. Yeah. Yeah. The extra. You're being an absolute. The extra mile. Yes, you're a psychopath. You're having mental distress.

You belong in the DSM. I'm just taking it too far. Whoa. Do you have an overheard? I do. And it's from, I host a show called the laugh gallery. And one of the things that I do during the show is I give away prizes and the audience has to ask me.

By the way, here's a prize. I just gave brought me from Sweden. This is a gift from Sheila. This is elf. Some detective. It's a Swedish elf book. This is well on its way to being my prize possession

but people have to ask me a true pursuit question and then if i get it right they win a prize and so there was a girl who asked me a question about a movie i didn't know who the star of the movie was it was like mutiny on the bounty or something like that wait have you done this before have i done it is it marlon i did do this before marlon brando don't worry i got another one i got another one uh let me just look it up really quick you guys uh talk amongst yourselves so i'm graham's uh makes me so proud. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Me too. I'm proud to call him my friend.

That's beautiful. Yeah. Where did you get the off book? Abby's Aunt Sheila. It's in Swedish. She's a librarian over there. Did you have to talk Swedish? No, I did.

I didn't have to, but I chose to. You can say something? I can say whatever you want. It's the name of the phrase. This book is called Elf. Oh, God. No, but I can't say anything. But I am good at, like, getting the pronunciations. Like, I read signs and I'm like, I think that's Hemship.

Okay. Yeah, that's good. That was great. That's the name of a grocery store. Sounds exactly. Hemship. Okay. Yeah, that's good. That was great. That was great. It's the name of a grocery store. Sounds exactly. Hemship. Hemship.

Love that. But it's like sometimes the K's are a sh and sometimes the K's are a k. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And the O's with a dot

are like eh. Eh. Eh. And then and then but then there's another O that's like

ooh. Because the province we were in was Skåne. Skåne. But then we went to, what was the, Småland. Småland. Småland. Yeah. Sponsored by Duolingo.

Yeah. Nice. Okay. This is a woman talking to her women friends on the patio. She's saying, I didn't even read that book. I just thought it was a cute pic. So I'm picturing her posing with a book. She said, I thought I'd slay.

This is exactly what I'm picturing the book talkers. Yes. Yeah. Like I posed with the book. Look at me reading it. Caught me reading it yeah slay all day

wine o'clock and you were just granted the youth visa congratulations yeah that was the test I was granted it do I have to go to London?

yes oh no and I can't back out at any point? absolutely not have you already like I already quit my job you quit your job you've given notice Oh, no. And I can't back out at any point? Absolutely not. Have you already, like... I already quit my job. You quit your job.

You've given notice to your apartment. I've quit the apartment. I asked if I could work remotely, and they said no. Do you... But you can leave at any point, right? Yeah. Yeah, I'm allowed out of London. Okay.

And it's like the embarrassment factor. I'm like, oh, I'm going to run out of money and have to come back. And they'll be like, you were there for a week. How did you run out of money? You've already paid for a month of Airbnb. Yeah. You might want to go easy on the pret because it's not cheap. Yeah, I'll be doing toast and peanut butter for a while.

Oh, they don't have it over there. They call it peanut spread. No! Oh, they don't have it over there. They call it peanut spread. What are the big money-saving foods over there? Beans and toast. Beans and toast.

I love beans, so that's good. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a bean head. Beans, toast, tea, I think is something they fill up on. Oh, wow. Sweets. I am going to be gross looking pale and malnourished. Then you'll fit right in.

Yeah. Exactly. Now we also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the map. If you want to send one in to us, it's spy at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Kristen in Springfield, Illinois. Over the weekend, I took my kids to the local water park. You doing that this summer?

Water park? No, I don't go to the local one. We're going to go to a remote one. Nice. No, I think probably sure. Yeah.

It sounds like something, something to do, right? Uh, we were in the wave pool during the calm water and I saw a group of five or six preteens laying in a row on their bellies where the water went to your ankles. They were going to do a contest to see who could hold their breath longer. And when they counted down and put their faces in the water, one girl kept her face out of the water. We made eye contact.

I just laughed. She smiled. After about 10, 15 seconds, she put her face back in the water to claim the championship. Nice. Whoa, that's beautiful. That is beautiful. I like that. That's thinking outside the box.

Yeah. She's going to be our first female president. Yeah. If we lived in the States. Yeah. Will you get a president? What? Did you guys hear Justin and Sophie were breaking up?

Yeah. What do you think? Do you think infidelity? I think he probably cheated with Angela Merkel. I didn't know you were allowed to get a divorce if you were the prime minister. Well, they're separated as of today. Yeah. I thought you probably would just have to ride it out until it was over.

Yeah, that's probably how it always but his dad got separated. Whoa, okay, divorce family. Yes, it's the only radical. Yeah. Okay, child of divorce, it's a suspicious cycle. This next one comes from Doug F.

Parts unknown. No, actually he's in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. Is it my favorite, Doug Fuck? Yeah, it's Doug Fuck from the punk band The Fucks. Yeah. I was at the Ripley's Aquarium in Gatlinburg, Tennessee, when I saw a grandfather point at a tank and tell his young five- or six-year-old grandson, man, look at that fucked up fish. And the fish in question was an eel in a reef tank

good it was fucked up fish yeah that shit would be what every sign at the aquarium says the whale tank look at this fat

son of a bitch yeah look at this mean killer whale who's mean to its trainers oh yeah be nice to the trainers.

The trainers are the one that should, in my version, they're the heroes. Yeah, come on, orcas. Be nice. Stop attacking rich people's boats.

This last one comes from Max in New York City. Now, this one is so complicated I had to do it because it's... See if you can follow it. Okay. It's so complicated you had to do it because it's see if you can follow it. Okay.

It's so complicated you had to do it. I used to work as a chess teacher. Okay. The setting to see. Already. Okay.

After school program chess. A common task involved me in setting up a position on the board when the kids then had to figure out the best move

and write it down using chess notation which usually takes the form of the first letter of the piece you're moving and the coordinates of the square you're moving to. Example, QD4 would mean you're moving the queen to column D, row 4. One time, a five-year-old showed me his answer, which in child handwriting said WH7. Confused about the W, I asked him what was the piece he was trying to move he very quietly said the wook

adorable that's cute it was a it was a complicated road to go down but i think but it was worth it i used to walk the wook wow cute how many rows are there eight oh on the board total yeah is there's a b c d e f g h h yeah the rook would be on the side rook is the one that can move forward forward yeah as far as it wants oh as far as i want oh but not bad chess i don't play chess. I don't either, but I know how the pieces can move. I know the names of the pieces. Okay. And that is about it. That's all you need.

And I kind of know, I guess, yeah, the pawns can move diagonal. Sorry. Yeah, I know. But only to kill. Oh, but then they can only move forward in otherwise situations. Yeah. Okay, just kidding. You'll probably end up playing a game on one of the many trains

you'll be taking on your excursion absolutely that's what I'm gonna be doing absolutely I'm gonna come back chess master

yeah who's the new chess master a new chess master has got here yeah yeah you know that you can't

get divorced when you're a chess master yeah well in addition to overheards that are written and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 that's one spy pod one like these people have. Hi guys, this is Quill in Raleigh. I'm calling with an overheard. I was just in a CVS picking up a prescription and as I

went in, I saw some fellas leveling a tree and installing a bike rack in front of the CVS. And as I enter, one of them follows me, goes to talk to the store manager, and without any hint of irony or laughter at all, I heard him say, yeah, well, my father's ashes were under that tree,, I hope he feels bad about himself. Oh, wow.

Off I go. Twist and then twist again. Oh. Wow. It's my... There's a lot to unpack there. Yeah. My dad's ashes are under that tree. And I fucking hate that guy. Is that basically what it was? I think he was mad at the guy who was tearing up the tree,

right? Yeah. What... boy. Funny to tear up a tree for a bike ride. It's like, doesn't have the same one-to-one ratio as Pave Paradise, but have a parking lot. It's like, chopped down a tree to put up sustainable transportation. It's like, actually, does that cancel each other out? Yeah.

The tree was probably kind of a jerk, too. Yeah. But also the idea that you, like, please bury me under the tree. Oh, of a special tree?

No, the tree at the fucking drug store. In front of the CVS. The CVS tree. Yeah. That's where I worked when I was alive. Where I would spend my time

when I'm dead. So there. Next phone call. Hello, Dave, Graham, and possible guests. This is Matt reporting live when I was alive or I spend my time when I'm dead. So there. Next phone call. Hello, Dave, Graham and possible guests. This is Matt reporting live from St. Paul, Minnesota.

I was out to breakfast the other day with my sister and we were sitting outside and a guy was sitting at the table next to us and a bird landed on one of his chairs

and he grabbed a butter knife and swiped at it and said, scram, furball. No freaking way. Scram, furball. No freaking way. Scram, furball. To a bird. Furball to a bird.

Also to say scram. And to swipe at it with a knife. A butter knife. A butter knife. So it could do some damage. Yeah. To a bird. Yeah, because birds are, yeah, the bird can't get out of the way.

It deserves that. That's true. It deserves that. That's true. It deserves to die. Yeah, I was eating at a local restaurant, Bergoo. Berdo. Yeah, there's a bunch of birds that they have names for that are always on the patio and they just walk around like they fucking own the place. And the guy that was there that evening was Roy. Oh, Roy's a pigeon

yeah wow there's Roy and then who they've made up is his wife and then there's a younger one that they consider the son

so it's a it's a family of okay what did you order nuclear family uh uh uh

uh I'm trying to think pigeon I'll let you know oh shit no but what did you order uh I ate crow there we go No, but what did you order? I ate crow.

There we go. Yeah. Okay, but what did you order? I had the grilled cheese. Yeah. That's what you got to get when you go to Burgoo. Yeah, that could be good right now. Yeah, it's vegetarian AF.

AF. But it was too hot a day to have the sandwich soup combo. Yeah. Yeah. That restaurant is all all it's all soups and stews. I wonder how they stay in business in the summer. They can't do all in the summer. I wonder like, I mean it was full when I was there.

No, the outside was full. The inside looked like an abandoned casting. Well, here's your final phone call. Hi Dave and Graham. I've got an overheard. I was in a little store that sells novelty items, and there was a husband and wife. You don't know if they were married.

And the wife was looking at some slingshots, and she said, maybe we should get one for our son. And then her husband said, a slingshot for the baby? I don't think that's a good idea. And then a lot of people in the store had a good look about that. Alright, thanks. This is a person who doesn't really grasp what a baby is. A slingshot

for the baby? Also, they sell slingshots in stores? Yeah. Yeah, where is this? Don't you just need to find a perfectly Y-shaped stick? But they sell like aggressive looking ones that go in the entire. Like metal. Yeah. That you sell like, like, uh, aggressive looking ones that go in the entire.

Like metal. Yeah. That you can like kill someone. Yeah. Like with the paintball guns and all that kind of stuff. Oh, cool.

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I'm a big paintballer. Yeah. Ouch, ouch, ouch,

ouch. This hurts so much. Why do I keep doing this? Um, well, Danica. Yeah. Thank you so much

for being our guest. Thank you for having me. Um, your last show at the Lido in August is on the 22nd. Yeah. Yeah. um well Danica yeah thank you so much for being our guest thank you for having me um your last show at the Lido in August is on the 22nd yeah

yeah and you and Nathan Hare past guests yeah hosting a hullabaloo I'm sure yeah all the greats are coming

all the greats are going to be there so get over there Roy's gonna be there Roy's gonna be there yeah the waitress from Burgoo is gonna be there

the teens that I saw canoeing they're all gonna be there. Yeah. The waitress from Burgoo is going to be there. The teens that I saw canoeing, they're all going to be there. And listeners, thanks for listening. Congratulations to anyone who stopped listening and then came back

and actually made it through. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and sorry about my voice. No need. No need at all. Yeah, thank you everybody out there. If you like the show show why not tell your friends

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