Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 807 - Tim Gray

Episode Date: September 5, 2023

Comedian Tim Gray returns to talk shingles, Apocalypto, and Aqua.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 807 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who, just like anybody out there, looking forward to Labor Day, has got his white shorts all picked up, Mr. Dave Shumka. Well, you can't wear it after Labor Day, so. I know, but why would I break them out just for labor day because you forgot the rule and you thought that uh no i got plenty of time and now you realize

no you can you can wear them longer now with global war oh okay yeah yeah and i don't think it's just shorts i think it's white pants white uh well it was just pants and shorts i guess you can wear a white shirt anytime you want that's's true. What if that was the rule? That you can wear a white shirt anytime you want? No, that you had to stop wearing white shirts on Labor Day. And it was enforced by the fashion police who walked up and down the street with Gucci truncheons. Yeah, I was going to say they're real thugs, those fashion police.

Our guest today, returning guest of the podcast, podcast a favorite guest always a pleasure to have him it's comedian tim gray everybody hello welcome can you believe your your favorite guest is back yeah exactly it's it's uncle tim everybody it's fun uncle tim do you think that uncles are mostly fun because they're like half cut whenever you're hanging out with them yeah just you know also like like half circumcised yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah they got like best of both worlds you know they get they get a little devil tattooed on the foreskin and a little angel there was some something going around on the internet yesterday about like on instagram or something about a woman who was convinced that you have to trim your foreskin back

that you have to do like whenever you're trimming up your hair and stuff you got to cut back the voice a little bit do you guys have your foursies foursies that's uh sorry the records are sealed on that yeah yeah okay okay private it was a private uh sure sure sorry i'm not you know i'm not an uncle yet so i'm not in touch oh yeah oh wait i am an uncle now oh yeah what i will say is that I Am a North American born in 1980 so you can draw Your conclusions Michael Jackson was big Big hair was in style

I was just getting ready to go on the air The number one song when I was born Was Lady by Kenny Rogers Lady Nope How does Lady go how does lady go lady and i love you you have made me what i am and i am yours and my family we did that we changed it for my birth too foreskin

everybody it was the birth song everybody's mother and saying your doctor's singing it more skin you are mine i will snip you off this boy and make a mask of you man how much foreskin did you have well he's been doing it with all the boys oh okay you do that with all the boys just picturing somebody giving birth while a barbershop quartet sings to them is something that really yeah yeah yeah really twigs something but truly i barely i know that song just from looking at that that was the number one song when I was born. But I mostly know it from a Saturday Night Live Mango sketch.

Oh, Mango. And I believe it was Christopher Walken singing, Mango, you're my knight in shining armor and I love you. Now I'm looking up what the number one song was but graham you're very tight-lipped about your when your birthday is so uh oh that's true yeah because if you make that so be careful people will uh lose their minds they'll dox it yeah yeah start taking credit cards out that's true i, my birth date is somewhere in the time. Do you want to know what the top song of the year of my birth was?

The year? No, the day. Oh, the day. Okay. All right. Well, it was a cold January night. The storms were brewing. The babies were...

Do you know the weather when you were born? Yeah, it was a snowstorm. I know that. In Winnipeg? Yeah. In Winnipeg. That's right. Number one song in the U.S.

There was a snowstorm in Vancouver when I was born. Is that right? No. Really? I think mine was... Mom had to give birth to me uh under a plow yeah and the plow took off my support was it who was the canadian heritage minute where the woman was leading the pregnant woman through the snow and the pregnant woman was really she was really

quite annoying in the commercial like you're like I get it that she's pregnant and she's walking through snow, but she's like, I can't go any further. And that baby grew up to be Justin Trudeau. No, I don't remember that one. And I don't know. Do you know the name of this? Oh, no. Now I got an ad. Oh, no. Oh, at this moment by billy vera and the beaters

what the hell yeah it's not like at this moment moment that's not it right my name is billy all right this moment. My name is Billy, and I'm here to say. Billy Vera and the Beaters, at this moment, studio version. Yeah, studio version is best. Here we go. These are all the swears in. Okay. This is nice.

Push, Mrs. Craig. Push. Push. It's not good. I like this song this song i'm not gonna make it at this moment oh yeah is that the umbilical cord or this man's foreskin holy shit this man you call my baby a man i call every baby a man. Well, at this moment. All right. Thanks, Billy. Nice. One hit wonders, I guess.

Never heard of him again. Do we want to... Oh, well, do we want to get to know us? Yes. Get to know us. Is there another hit? Do they have another hit? Well, their next song is also At This Moment.

Oh, At This Other Moment. This is a live one and then a moment moment revisited just do all moment songs oh that's good oh that is good i would totally make a baby to that song yeah yeah i like anything keyboard when it comes to To baby making Yeah What do you Tim Yes What's up my guy Yeah tell us all about it Hey I'll tell you all about it Sit right there

I'll tell you how I ended up in this here chair Nice Thanks Yeah since we last chitty chatted I'm living in the big city of Toronto Ontario now Now since we last chitty chatted i'm living in the big city of toronto ontario now now since we last chatted had we you were moving you're about to move you're about to think it was yeah yeah i was about to move i was i had one foot in the car car was running dave was giving me the hurry upside and you were just starting the podcast i'll be up there in an hour and a half just hold on a

second i got one more podcast to do that that would literally when i was a kid my dad would start a project as we were waiting in the car to go somewhere yeah just yeah you just we'd be sitting up there and then he'd be like sawing something or trimming a bush. Dad, we're going to Costco. Get in here. Or church. The church was also a get in here kind of time. For me, Costco is my church. And the samples are my communion.

You walk up to them and cross your arms over your chest and just open your mouth and hope that they put it in for you yeah body of christ waffle of grace is this uh is this cheese of christ let me check yeah yeah yeah it is my manager says he doesn't know how to answer that question um so you've gone to toronto do you like it do you enjoy your your situation that you've got set up there yeah your situation ship what's your situation tell us about your sitch my situation ship with toronto uh i do love it i love this city it city. It's a big bustling city. It's not that different from Winnipeg. Lots going on. All the movers and shakers. Never a dull moment. But in Winnipeg, the moments that aren't dull is because the knives are so sharp. Here, it's the sounds and the smells.

sharp yes yeah here it's uh the sounds and the smells when i was last in winnipeg i think when you were still around there was a uh non-stop rash of uh liquor store robberies yeah the people were just walking and taking what they want just walking right out the door and uh this was happening in teens teens got into it in a big way, if I recall correctly. The whole city got behind it. It was like these groups of teens, like a spread like wildfire, like a TikTok dance, you know, where these teens would just like go in six deep and just grab as many bottles as they can and run out of the store. of the store. Now, if you want to get liquor in Manitoba, you have to wait outside, be buzzed in by a security person, slide your ID under, slip someone five bucks,

do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight. What was that, Billy Vera? Yeah. But I think I heard that that's maybe spreading globally like these teens shoplifting did you hear like in the in the uk there was like a day of shoplifting where they went to all the fancy shops and like ran out like a bunch of teens would just run and it was like a

tiktok thing they just ran in grabbed his arms full of clothes and ran out that's good because like there's strength in numbers yeah and also as an adult you get the point of view that security guards don't give a shit and are not going to give chase for 15 an hour or whatever they're paid yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah like you think as a as a kid you're like oh the security guard's totally gonna bust me but they're not there's like a 1 in 20 chance that you end up with a maniac security guard. Totally. That goes after. Most of them are just like, the ones at Chopper's Drug Mart, they're so friendly.

They don't want to be there. They don't want to be there. They don't give a shit. No. They're probably stealing at the end of their shift. Yeah, exactly. Stealing security guard outfits. Yeah.

Going home and then acting out security guard stuff LARPing yeah you should have seen me today they don't actually work there just live action role playing

security guard I was thinking about that the other day you could technically live action role playing security card i was thinking about that the other day you could technically you could technically live action role play anything that's true live action role play yourself into the career you want instead of yeah yeah you dress if you dress like a businessman you just hang out downtown something's gonna happen yeah exactly have you ever heard that story about like steven spielberg was on the universal tour and then snuck out and just found a desk and sat down at it and started working that sounds made up right that doesn't sound like a real thing that could happen well why was there a universal

tour without jaws existing already that's a very good question yeah yeah what would that be like i guess this is where jaws will be yeah psycho is uh psycho i think was the big thing that they oh yeah yeah yeah um have you seen the fablemans no no okay well neither of you guys have flown recently uh oh yes that does seem like a perfect airplane uh movie yeah it's uh it's good it's a uh steven spielberg biopic without being a biopic right right is it a sexy movie it's a little bit well his mother it's more raunchy yeah his mother is a big raunchy lady that was the part that was true in the biography was yeah his mom's a raunchy lady raunchy ronda his mother is played by michelle williams not the one from uh oh yes the third will always have to make that specification when they're in like you know in the offices around hollywood like can we get michelle williams yeah she's not part of that

band anymore we could probably get her no problems we wanted her to play uh marilyn monroe uh yeah yeah we can get her you don't want kelly roland she was in the the Halloween movie, so maybe you do want her. And then they got, and then they got, so the dad is Paul Dano. Oh yeah. And then, but then the mom is having an affair with Seth Rogen.

Whoa. Really? Yeah. Seth Rogen's in a movie where, is it Michelle Williams? No. Or he's a sausage? It's Sausage Party.

There's a movie where somebody cheats on him, and I can't remember if it's Michelle Williams or... Oh, Take This Waltz. Yeah. Is that Michelle Williams? Yeah, it just might be. Ah, the turnabout's fair play then. Huh.

Yeah. I heard that was written by Christopher Waltz's wife. Is he related to Christoph Waltz? Dick is Waltz, please. Take this Waltz, please. Take this Waltz, please. Graham, do you remember a... Boy, am I going to get this wrong.

There was a comedian named Klaus Meyers who was like a... Classic. Borscht Belt? No, he was like a late 80s, early 90s take on what we thought Germans were. He was an American guy. I think his name was Jim Meyers.

Oh. And he could do like a spot on German accent. Little round glasses yeah and his i remember one of his jokes was uh take my wife i commend you but one of his one of his other jokes was uh since that wall came down my handball game has gone to hell since that wall came down, my handball game has gone to hell. Yeah, fuck.

That guy ruled. At the end of his set, he would break character. They apparently at Just for Laughs, they're like, stay in character the whole time. And then that was it. That's all he ever did. He had that one bit. And I was watching.

Remember when just for laughs, wasn't just comedians. Like there was also like weird sideshow kind of like buskers that would be on stage. Yeah. And there was a guy, do you remember this guy that would swallow? Yes.

That's who I was thinking of too. He was. Yeah. No, he wouldn't swallow swords. He'd like light bulbs and all this kind of stuff and he would like swallow it or keep it in his esophagus goldfish yeah he would drink out yeah he would throw the goldfish and drink the water bring the water back out and the goldfish

and then he would also be able to take coins and then spit them back out in order of value oh yeah and this was like that was as good as like a jerry seinfeld set like they were both probably on the same show yeah where's his sitcom yeah what's the deal with well it's about a guy, and it's sort of like a show about nothing, but he also regurgitates everything. Have you regurgitated this? Have you seen this?

Or is he like, is he an action figure that he can, you know, like he swallows a gun and you don't know he has a gun on him and then he regurgitates. And then the bullets, one at a time yeah one at a time into the gun that would be cool i wonder what he's like in airport security oh yeah he's just got all sorts of he doesn't even pack a bag it's just all yeah it would be terrible he's like oh you're not allowed to bring liquids anymore that's okay i swallowed a bunch of shampoo i'll regurgitate it up on the plane just a whole whole clam chowder yeah and then like reassemble it on the way up as clams

component separate the clam and the chowder yeah and that was like the true blue era of just relax when he would have those there was a guy that didn't he was from like somewhere in India and he did shadow puppets do you remember this guy that could do like complicated shadow puppets

anyways it was a different time it was a different time you can't get away with that these days no yeah no yeah exactly I bet there are still like just for laughs you know you see your friends when you go presumably yourself

but like I'm sure if you were like if you really read the lineup there would be like the thunder from down on right and puppetry of the people right oh man podcasts when i was yeah now it's all podcasts there's no thunder from down under no no no that's the big uh that's the big male kind of strip show in las vegas is the thunder down under there yeah i've heard that's fun i heard it's a fun show oh yeah you go there with the with the gals from the office pool and yeah what's what are they pooling oh i don't know their resources i suppose

do you guys mind if i plug something right quick off the top? Yeah. Yeah. By the way, we had a bunch of technical details before the show started. So I thought Tim was going to say, it's okay if I plug something into my computer to make this sound worse. Yeah. Do you want me to, should I start recording?

Um, no, I'm actually launching a new podcast. Uh, it's's called it's the puppetry of the penis podcast so you hear a bunch of sounds and then i explain what my penis looks like this is a world war one tank and it goes something like this. I can't wait to hear it. I can't wait to hear it. I'd love to have you guys as guests.

Yeah. You doing it in person or zoom? Yeah. Yeah. On zoom only. Legally. Yeah. Legally.

Um, yeah. Check it out on chatter bait. Anyways. Uh, yeah. So Toronto's been going great yeah yeah you've got this new podcast you're plugging yeah yeah yeah now before you uh uh you were you had a podcast called a hunks podcast yes there's a podcast called hunks and uh was that still going when you moved to Toronto? Yeah, it was still going up until June. We did like, I think a two-part finale that was a really fun recap of all the crazy stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We left it on. Yeah, it was like our version of the Mission Impossible movie where it was too long and unnecessary. Ooh, shots fired. I know i i'm sorry tom i i know you're a listener but uh i like the mission impossible movies and that one i thought was a real stinker the new one the new one yeah it just didn't need to be in two parts it didn't need yeah i haven't seen it yet but i'm really looking forward to it i've heard nothing but good things i mean yeah the whole movie is really boiled down to what crazy stunt he did that the rest of it is

yes yes and then they're great they're great the stunts are great it's being rain still in a van somewhere being like you got to get out of there tom oh dude he's in a fucking van. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. And the soul patch is back. You better believe it is. Simon Pegg. And they're like, people just keep showing up because the vans keep getting more and more extreme. Yeah, exactly. He's sitting in a real van in this movie.

It's not a set. You could tell it's just B-roll of him eating his lunch. Because they wanted to fill so much time. Yeah. If you saw the whole movie, like if you got a Blu-ray and it's the whole movie from his point of view, and it's just him talking on the radio and yeah, eating a sandwich, scrolling through his phone. Yeah. Going to see the new Top Gun.

Yeah, going to see the new Top Gun. There's a, I forget what movie, but there's like in the new Mission Impossible, there's a, maybe it's the new, or one of the Fast and Furious movies, but there's like this chase scene through Rome and then they're almost shot for shot the exact same thing. Like they're shooting,

they're going through the same spots, they're going through the same spots. They're crashing through the same walls. I thought that, Oh, as like a fast and the furious movie. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the exact same location for both of these big action scenes.

Yeah. I went and saw the latest one and I, up until the last second, I didn't know that it was two parts. So I was like, uh, in that last few minutes, I was like, boy, they got a lot of stuff to wrap up in this five minutes here.

You're giving them the hurry up sign? Yeah. Looking back at the projectionist. Hurry up, projectionist. Wrap it up, guy. Can you put it on double time? We got to go. We got to go.

So you're in Torontoonto yeah in toronto what and you're with uh a past guest dana smith as well yeah and your lovely dog also living with past guest angie st mars there's the bart Simpson of winnipeg yeah there's four of us that live here um yeah but why are only mentioned three? Yeah. Who's the fourth? Who's the mystery guest? The fourth hasn't been on your podcast yet. Oh, okay.

Not mentioned really. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Who are they? We'll make sure to book them. The other one is Annie Tuma. She's an actor. Very funny, wonderful person.

I heard that it wasn't a Tuma. Is that true? Okay. Graham. Graham. Graham, I i'm gonna have to ask you that to sit out for a minute yeah think about take a knee take a nap take a lap take a nap take a lap yeah the first year honestly has been so hard it's been i don't want to get into dark dark stuff with you guys but it's i love it when people are honest yeah god it sucks um do you miss winnipeg every day i miss like uh some people in winnipeg absolutely like the the city itself in toronto i think it's beautiful like i'm coming from uh d, you'll know this, a zone six gardening climate in Winnipeg.

Sure. Now I'm in a zone three. So you can imagine the flora, the fauna. Yeah. Well, you know why you shouldn't be gardening with fauna. Some fauna is edible. Don't plant fauna is edible i guess don't plant fauna though i do whatever i wanna is the six better than the three what on what scale is it the higher it goes the worse yeah the colder i think the colder the shorter the growing time the harsher the climate, the less varietals. Yeah, you'll need hardier plants.

Hardier plants, your kales. Sure. You know, et cetera. Yeah. Stuff. Do you have a garden? Are you gardening out that way? No, I'm just enjoying all the gardens around me.

The guy that lives in the basement here at this place we're living in, he set up this freaking garden that's just like the stairs that go from the sidewalk down into the basement. And he has tomatoes and peppers and beans growing like crazy. His whole stairwell is turned into a full garden. And he has it arched over the top and stuff. It's pretty wild. It's pretty awesome.

How urban is your area? Is there a chance people might pee into his garden no no i don't think so no because it's it's we're right on ozington sorry i'm picking up a toronto accent totally dude we're right on right on right on at oosington um but uh yeah yeah i walk peggy in the neighborhood all the time and i walked by this like ladies uh front yard and i was like oh beautiful front yard

milady and she's like this old italian nona or whatever and she she like brought me into her backyard if you know what i mean yeah yeah absolutely i'm picking it up she gave me like a whole tour of her big beautiful garden that she's been working off for 20 years and she like barely spoke english but we still we figured it out

and that was freaking adorable you kidding me that was nice yeah depressed got shingles uh oh yeah you got shingles that's right shingles. Oh, yeah, you got shingles. That's right. Got shingles. You guys ever had shingles? My dad's had it, and he says it's fucking rough. It's fucking rough. Is that the Sean Connery dating website? I'm looking for shingles. I got talked down because of Tuma, and that gets through.

Any of you shingles want to join me on shatterbait i'm the late sean cotterie uh what's shingles like it's a bad uh rash it's a bad rash uh do you remember chicken pox yeah vaguely you Did you have them? Yes. Let's just say I was born in North America in 1980. So we didn't have a vaccine for that yet. So your crotch is two pounds lighter and you had chicken pox.

Two pounds? According to you. Your words. Your words. Hi, my name is Dave and i have a two pound foreskin i did anyway it could have been i've been trimming it back though i gotta trim it down regularly like my nails can i just get a little off the back please yeah got a bullet yeah no sorry yes it's a chicken pot really yeah so what uh the thing is i talked to like three different doctors they told me like three different things about shingles it's one

of those things that people don't really have a full explanation for why it happens other than stress uh brings it about but the this doctor told me that once you get the chicken pox virus it lays dormant in your nervous system and then at some point it can manifest itself as shingles basically shingles is like um uh there's this the skin rash that everybody knows about that like you can see pictures of it looks really nasty and that feels like a second degree burn like it feels like your skin is on fire like my whole right leg had it and my butt had it and so like if my butt tapped against something, I would feel it burning down my whole

leg like a forest fire spreading. And then I had like this insane nerve and joint pain in my hip and my knee and my ankle. I couldn't stand for more than like 10 minutes at a time. I spent five weeks in bed just writhing in pain because

there's no painkiller that can do anything about it. Cause it's all in the nervous system. It's just like false signals being sent to your brain that your leg is under attack. And so they just say that you have to just live through it. You got to ride it out. Yeah. If you,

if you detect it early enough, then you can get this like steroid type medication that lessens the severity of it. But I had like a week of insane joint pain. I went to St. Joseph's Hospital here. St. Joe's! St. Joe! Where my Joe boys at?

They did like the blood test. They did the CT scan. They did a freaking x-ray All that stuff And they, you know, 10 hours later sent me home with no answers I still had no idea what was wrong with me And then I got this, skin rashes showed up And immediately it was like, oh, it's shingles It's shingles

Shingles me timbers What I did a blood test that turned out it was marinara sauce That's right, Dave's got blood type ragu. Yeah, that's true. That's because of this Italian nonna in my neighborhood showed me her backyard. She cursed me to be Italian. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Ragu. Then there's a vaccine. You just call them mozza sticks? Yeah. Then there's a, there's a, you just call them monster sticks. There's a vaccine for it, but they don't give it to you until you're like 50, right? Yeah.

Yeah. You can buy it. It's 400 bucks. Um, but I don't, have you had, you've had Chris Wilson on this podcast,

right? Yeah. He's a very funny 400 bucks. Yeah. $400. He's had shingles not once

not twice but three times in addition to chicken pox I guess yeah chicken pox happens when you're a kid

and so I don't know the chicken pox backstory you'll have to have him back on you'll have to ask him yourself no but

yeah yeah so he but he got he got the vaccine like between the i think second and third time and he said the third time he had it it was like very mild very chill but he still gets it like still got it he gets it every winter yeah do you yeah dave have either of your daughters had chickenpox? No, they're vaccinated. They don't. Oh, there's a chickenpox vaccine now. Yeah.

Varicella, is that what it's called? And yeah, because I remember like, yeah, I remember like when they were, you know, six or seven being like, is she going to get chickenpox or what? And then I was like, oh, that's one of the vaccines they gave her. One of the shots? That's how little attention I paid to how much I trust the doctors. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fill her up. Yeah, yeah.

Shoot her up. Yeah, exactly. You know, I'll pay for whatever you got. If you want to give her some extras, that'd be great. We got this $400 shingle shot. I'm saving up for a PlayStation. I can't do it. I remember

as a kid having to bathe in oatmeal or some shit like that. Calamine lotion. I remember a calamine lotion running hot and cold. What was the bath? It was like baking soda in a bath or something yeah did you did you guys have chicken pox parties like where you're we're like no okay because that was a thing i heard about that where yeah they wanted like just to get it and get it out of the way or whatever so if one kid had it they'd invite whoever wants to get this awful disease over to hang out with this disease boy every kid was

invited over except for me my parents were like well you're gonna be fine yeah i think you'll be just fine but yeah i didn't oh i didn't know that chicken pox were now uh they were a thing of the past it was like a rite of passage when i was a kid yeah yeah and it was a good like week off school it was a really good week off school but oh man good remember how itchy oh so itchy yeah scratching a little one oh so satisfying oh yeah and then so bleeding what's your uh did you guys get uh mosquito bites? I mean, Tim's from Manitoba. Provincial bird is the mosquito.

Am I right? Nice. It's on our flag. Yeah. There's a couple of small towns that have one as a mayor. Do you get them? Do you get the bite? Are you bitten?

Do you get the bites? Are you bitten? you get the bites are you bit is that something i don't uh my friend step back from that ledge my friend yeah oh wow do you get the oh wow okay all right you've got a very musical mind i'm very talented um you know what? The nice thing about Toronto is there's like so few mosquitoes, but they have these things called cicadas. Do you have them

there? Yeah, we call them cicadas here. Yeah. Because they can reach into your mind and see all the things within. Stay away from the cicadas. Yeah. And they suck. I hate that they read my mind but yeah we don't we don't really get cicadas out here

it's so loud they're everywhere like every 10 minutes there's this loud like almost like an industrial like i can't hear you something's blocking out your high pitched yeah there's some noise cancellation on zoom and your face just went crazy but yeah it's where was I

oh it was in Las Vegas and they had them they had grasshoppers and cicadas they were passing through town which is which is awful because everybody was like yeah they just seem to be on a migration pattern through the city so yeah oh they're awful bachelor party yeah what happens in vegas what's happening never mind um i was gonna ask when you do get mosquito bitten what is your strategy to deal with the bites oh i i scratch i scratch like a motherfucker here's what i'll do i'll find the mosquito bite and i'll scratch around the sides of it as opposed to right on the bump because then you're gonna you're gonna like or irritate it more if you scratch it, but you scratch around. Yeah.

And then I also use a little product called solar cane, which is good for bites and burns and stuff like that. So give myself a little scratch for fun. And then, so like, then yeah. Okay. Is that Michael Caine?

That's Michael Caine for solar cane. Yeah. Um, is that michael kane that's michael kane for solar yeah um but yeah what's your technique dave i uh i think tim was saying he doesn't really get itchy from them um yeah i don't really get itchy from them once in a while i do and then if i get one that's like itching i'll scratch at it i'll start picking away at it then like i'll try to break the skin back away a little bit and i'll just keep you know like that robbie williams music video where he rips off all that's basically what i'll do rock dj start over again yeah you got started getting a whole new skin sure yeah until the roller skating ladies are finally attracted to you exactly go down That was the plot of that video, wasn't it? They didn't care about him until he was a skeleton man.

Yeah. And they were like, let's get some. Graham, no, David, that's me. That's you. I'm the same. I get like Abby gets a mosquito bitten and she'll have a giant bite for days and the kids seem to have inherited that from her uh but i will like i'll get bitten you know i'll wake up at three in the morning and be like oh mosquito bit me and then i'll wake up again at six in the

morning and it's gone oh nice yeah okay it's good. But when I do, what I like to do is take my thumbnail and make a little cross in it. Oh. Ah. That's nice. And then Body of Christ. That's a good call. Yeah.

Wow. I was the Body of Christ of this mosquito. Yeah, that mosquito. Yeah. Yeah. Dana, Dana,

Dana, my wife, Dana. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Dana. Dana. Dana. Dana. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout out to Dana. Dana. Dana. Borat.

Borat. She gets reactions from them. And I have this stuff that I got when I was building decks and fences, and I'd constantly be getting little nicks on my hands. It's polysporin, but it has ibuprofen in it. So it disinfects the area, but also numbs the area. So when she has those nasty little bites or whatever, just put a little bit on it and it just numbs the area.

Yeah. And no more itchy. I'm not going to tell you what I need it for, but where can I get my hands on this numbing? Any pharmacy. Yeah. Graham doesn't want to tell you you but he's teething oh imagine if you lost your teeth as a kid and then you lost a new set as an adult that would rule if you didn't have to go to the dentist oh yeah that's right

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah because i could take my kids to the dentist then they're like right if you just get caught on your new teeth yeah yeah yeah because i can't take my kids to the dentist then they're like oh yeah i think we should do this and i'm like these aren't these these aren't keepers yeah bring it to your dentist but yeah it's like taking a rental to the car wash it's like why why what are we doing here um yeah I uh sorry Tim you're like a you're a handyman you can fix things you can build things

yeah um did you're a listener and you're in Toronto and you need a handyman for hire that's what I'm doing for are you a task rabbit are you a task rabbit guy I was on task for a long time and fiverr i haven't done fiverr um but just task rabbit i did that for the first like six months when i was living here then i got enough like jobs outside of task rabbit that uh to keep me busy yeah i'll probably go back on it if it slows down in the winter time but yeah what's uh 69

five-star reviews nice i do think it's cool that people think 69 school yeah yeah i love it i don't know i'm stupid i mean yeah what what do people generally ask for on their uh build my ectorp uh what the hell is it ectorp it's something from ikea oh yeah it sounds like oh yeah yeah it sounds like a like a a trap that the ghostbusters would use yes the yes what were their those traps called weren't they just called traps if the light is green the traps are clean no wait is that uh i thought they were just called traps ghost traps ghost traps traps who you gonna call ghost trappers trappers uh oh yeah so i just looked up what is the trap called in ghostbusters the answer ghost trap yes

that was definitely like the working idea they just never revisited it yeah that would be a good workaround if you if there was a canadian production called ghost trappers and uh technically we're not stepping on your uh trademark here it's uh you guys are ghosts you bust them we trap them yeah and then we skin them and we sell their ghost kids of uh yeah the most common jobs that i get at first i didn't have any jobs so i set my rate like super low just to get some work and it was almost all toilets okay yeah the worst of which can i take a picture of you sitting on the toilet that kind of thing yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i

can't get the right angle so here eat this sub sandwich uh you might think this is a joke but i fell in and i can't get out and they needed to call another person on task rabbit to get a guy out of my toilet uh there's a man in my toilet uh i don't want to call 9-1-1 i don't want to bother anybody i'll just go on task rabbit here somebody yeah plunge me but uh yeah after that it was mostly like what was the worst one what What was the worst toilet one? The worst one was in the basement of an anime shop. Oh man, I bet you that toilet gets a workout.

Oh my god. There's a lot of Mountain Dew passing through that system, I'll tell you what. Yeah, not a lot of please and thank yous coming out of that bathroom. God, it looked like it, I mean, skip ahead, listener, if you've got a sensitive stomach, but it looked like

it had... Oh, God. Yeah, I almost threw up several times. It looked like the toilet had been clogged and continued to be used for a while and um and then i broke the toilet uh snake trying to fix this toilet i eventually got it clogged i charged them like 200 for cleaning fees and they had no problem with that i should have charged more.

Yeah, that was like the rock bottom. It was mostly cleaning up your own barf. Yeah. I wore like, I put three masks on and I... Anyways, after that I jacked my prices way up and then I just got booked to like these fancy ass places. We put

too much caviar in the toilet is the problem. fancy ass places. We've put too much caviar in the toilet is the problem. These fish eggs simply won't go down. I went to this condo where it was like a two story condo. The person had some tech company. He had like,

uh, I overheard his personal assistant talking to him about, so while you're in New York, do you want to have a personal chef making meals or would you rather just get takeout? In this, like on the second floor of this condo, one of the rooms was a hammock. It was like the floor was all hammock.

You know what I mean? Like it was all like knotted ropes and had a bunch of pillows in there. And you just like go lay down. Like you just sleep in the living room. Yeah. Whoa. The whole room was like one big hammock pretty wild i think life is one big hammock yeah life is a hammock i want to swing in it all day long that's pretty good that's pretty good when was the last time uh you guys were in a hammock? Last year.

Yeah, last year for me as well. Summertime. I got a camping hammock. Oh, really? Like, that has the posts? Or you just got to find two trees? Got to find two trees. And I got a banana hammock.

That's for a different podcast. Yeah. Yeah, it's for Tim's Ch a different podcast yeah yeah it's for tim's chatterbait podcast it's for the tree of the penis um uh so you you've got you've got some steady gigs you're doing shows out there i know you and dana are you're doing uh which i don't know if the last time you're on you're you guys do a double act now you are husband and wife double act yeah yeah we did the Toronto Fringe that was a fucking blast

we were in the same room as past guest Raquel Belmonte yeah yeah yeah who was so freaking funny met her since moving out here yeah we had a nice little run in the Fringe Stacy McGonigal directed our, uh,

double act show. Oh yeah. Stacey McGonigal. Past guest. Um, and yeah, it's been fun. We do a monthly show at comedy bar the first Monday of every month called

thruple threat where, um, it's a great name for a show. We have, uh, comedians do like seven minutes of standup and then we, uh, try to convince them to join our couple.

Oh, nice. And every show, we promise the live audience that we're going to have sex with whoever we select. But then we always run out of time. Oh, you were going to have sex with them on the stage. Yes, okay. On stage, on stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, but it's been hard as heck uh getting shows out here because there's like literally 5 000 comedians half of them look just like me and are twice as funny and uh you do a lot of i haven't go to a lot of open bikes waiting like four and a half hours to do three minutes to no one oh man open mic like when was the last time you stepped into an open mic before moving good lord like making a regular go of it we've been like 10 years you know and now it's like and there's no point in working on new material because no one's listening i'm just trying to do well enough at these open mics that someone might see me and book me on something but like yeah like uh well there's plenty of people listening and yeah if you're

listening book tim yeah book tim he's funny i'll be okay uh he could you know what book him either for comedy or for fix-it jobs just book him yeah yeah hey also i can't get arrested at this town so you can do whatever you want book me yeah yeah if you're dano book me um wow there's so many comedians there not uh and here there's just like uh no more shows yeah they're just all the comedy clubs closed closed yeah there's good venue close although things are things are trying to pick up a little but some new spaces open or isn't there is a chill pill i saw chill pill is chill pill opened yeah chill uh it's a place it's a show that happens at a place yeah yeah um but the uh

i remember from early on days having to go to open mics and really, literally the only people in the audience were the other comedians that were booked for the show. Like, yeah, there might've been one couple that had stumbled into a big mistake and felt like they couldn't leave. But yeah,

yeah, it was, I don't even know what the hell I was looking for. Like, I guess I was just hoping that the comics would laugh. I don't know what the hell I was looking for like I guess I was just hoping the other comics would laugh I don't know what the hell I wanted like getting there half an hour before you're supposed to get there to sign up and then signing

up and being the 45th person to sign up so like what are you going on at like 2 in the morning or something like that yeah Jesus a couple times the restaurant is like we need to close this is a Boston peace there's 45 guys on this show and they all need their to do their five minutes could you tell them to order

something besides water they seem to be taking up every seat in the joint that's the thing i'm there i'm supporting the venue i'm buying a couple beers i'm buying food just put me up these people are getting like preferential treatment and they're like spilling water on the staff the the staff hate it the staff fucking hate it oh i know i feel so bad for the staff that literally have to be there for it and then these guys like do these jokes about you know they're like you know 21 year old talking about abortion issues and then no one laughs they're like oh what is this a woke crowd i don't know i don't know your joke sucks your joke fucking sucks the uh have you seen anybody like doing a real like a real freak show person like somebody that's like oh you've just stumbled into

this place and what's the most recent weird weirdo act that you saw you know it's not even weird enough to be uh you know what i mean like it's it's just it's just been it's like quaint or or i mean like in winnipeg we always had plenty of nut jobs coming out sure mics and they always added that extra spicy element of uh and you know i was spoiled in winnipeg because the open mics would have like 20 crap 20 people in the crowd every time and yeah they'd be paying attention and you know i was spoiled in winnipeg because the open mics would have like 20 crap 20 people in the crowd every time and yeah maybe paying attention and you know it would be like a fun place to actually work on material but um yeah i don't know i haven't really seen any um anyone that wasn't just like a mental health crisis maybe yeah there was a guy the last open mic that i went to there was a guy who was dressed like

kind of um like somebody from new orleans like had like a white oh yeah kind of hat and like had kind of all white and had like a kerchief and he just sang some crazy old like sea shanty about about like some girl you know how they would go like uh something something shaving cream do you know like that they're about to say a swear and then yeah yeah yeah anyways that's all he did he went up and did that and uh everybody stopped or he stopped at the end and people applauded and yeah god knows where that guy is now maybe he's going around open mics doing that bit he's actually on just for laughs this year you have to go up behind the regurgitator i'm trying some new things i'm swallowing here tonight a fidget spinner i gotta keep up with the times

do you know the comedian Johnny Bagpipes? Oh yeah, Johnny Bagpipes. We talk about him pretty... No, it's Herb Dixon we talk about pretty often on the podcast. Johnny Bagpipes is a bagpipe comedian and he gets booked for the Winnipeg Comedy Fest

a lot. One time he was booked for the Winnipeg Comedy Festival and he came out and he was booked for the Winnipeg Comedy Festival. He came out and the airline had lost his bagpipe. So the guy whose whole act is like doing a Metallica song on the bagpipes. Just had to be like, I now imagine.

Oh, and I'm sure they're very easy to rent. You just go to Long and McQuaid and say, yeah, point me in the direction of the bagpipes. Yeah, exactly. imagine uh oh and i'm sure they're very easy to rent you just go to long and mcquade and say yeah point me in the direction of the bagpipes and uh yeah exactly just run up to the regurgitator look this is gonna sound weird do you have any bagpipes in there let me check um dave what's going on with you man Well I'm having a great time since I moved to Toronto Yeah

It's easy here it's fun Thumbs up all the way around Here's what's up with me I've been watching movies Yeah So there's a movie that I watched 20 years ago Ish maybe 18 17 Years ago 18 17 okay go ahead good year good movie 50

years before uh canada was founded uh but uh i uh this was a movie that i remember loving and i was like i couldn't have loved this movie so i revisited it and that movie is apocalypto oh mel gibson joint the mel gibson joint about the tribes among the maya and this was hot on the heels of braveheart no hot on the heels of uh the? No, hot on the heels of The Passion of the Christ. Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. But I knew it was like after a big one and then.

Yeah. Yeah. POC. Yeah. Well, that anime shop called Tim after a big one. A bunch of big ones. And I was like, because I remember this movie as like a 90 minute chase scene and there's like a chase through the jungle have you guys seen it no but i heard it's not there's no english in it

that it's all a dialect and there's no subtitles is that right no there's subtitles there's subtitles okay um there's uh there's subtitles but I remember it being as like, I remember it as a 90 minute chase scene with no dialogue. And I was like, it was just exciting from, uh, from start to finish. And then I rewatched it and I was like, oh no, the chase scene is the last 20 minutes of the movie. There's plenty of dialogue. What's hanging around? Yeah.

And I was like, oh, how do we feel about this movie now now we knew about mel gibson back then that's true yeah but he that he all the stuff uh all his uh shenanigans happened before um people were being canceled so yeah so he was still able to make movies and stuff and win awards yeah yeah and so uh i was like how do we feel about this movie like how are we able to separate the art from the artist yeah because even though that movie sucks are you still a big mel gibson yeah that's true i can absolutely separate those two things can you still hold up your love for her um and then i looked up the movie i was like what did people think about this movie at the time like how are people reacting um here's what the boston globe review

was about this movie uh gibson may be lunatic, but he's our lunatic. Oh, he's Australian. And while I wouldn't wish him behind the wheel of a car after happy hour. What? Or at a Benet Brith function anytime. Jesus. I would like him behind the camera. Behind my ass. No.

Behind a camera is another matter. Here's the thing about Mel Gibson that I never I had to take people's word for it growing up that he was a heartthrob. Yeah. Everybody had agreed

that he was good on movies that i had never seen yeah like the first time i ever heard of him crack like i knew he was in lethal weapon i never saw any of the movies and then he was in hamlet and everybody was like oh yeah i'd like to have his let i'd let his hand his hand yes yes yes my whatever yeah behind my camera yeah um but uh yeah no i remember that and he was like sexiest man alive yeah and and then like he just looked like some guy that was like some some person's uncle like he just looked like a guy to me like tom cruise you'd be like yes that is objectively he's a good looking guy but tom cruise is that for me i never understood why

everyone thought he was such a heartthrob oh he's not my type i'm a clooney guy through and through oh yeah yeah to me that is like this and brad pitt but the sexiest man alive i like that dark stevie yeah i mean anyone brad pitt it was more like he was used as a reference of like even by shania twain that he's the most handsome guy around yeah who do you think you are brad pitt i'd like to put his brad in my pit okay okay so oh so the um i just looked up because i up because this talk has got me all hot and bothered. Sure, sure. Sexiest Man Alive? Sexiest Man Alive.

The last one was Chris Evans. I thought it was Liam Hemsworth, Chris Evans. Same films. Same, yeah. I couldn't tell the part. And then, so the last one came out in November. Who's the Next guy

Are the actors Are the sexiest men on strike right now Yeah That's Hmm Harry Styles isn't on strike though Because he's a musician So maybe he could be it

Is it usually an actor I'm sure he's part of the actor's guild But you don't have In his capacity as a sexy man he right whatever he pleases yeah he could still work yeah you can work on stage as a you know as a cabaret performer his cabaret license yeah um what like are all them do you have a list of them are they all actors or they're singers as well i feel like the ones i think of are all all actors yes right um let's look them up uh would you put tom hardy on that list yeah of course tom hardy's yeah i put him on or would they put him on would you i would put him on

yeah of course i would yeah have you. Have you guys watched Peaky Blinders? No. No, that's the Cillian Murphy one. Cillian Murphy? What if he wins? I think when he's doing a comedy, it's Cillian Murphy. Changes. Changes.

But Tom Hardy is in that show as well. He plays a great character. Oh, cool. Love Tom Hardy. Love Tom Hardy. but uh tom hardy is in that show as well he plays a great character oh cool love love tom hardy love tom hardy um there was a uh so uh do we boy how many do you want to know do you know who i think would have been like one back in the day bruce springsteen bruce springsteen he's all sorts of sexies oh you want it you're trying to figure out if there's been any that aren't actors. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. The last one that wasn't an actor is John legend, 2019. Oh,

okay. Okay. Yeah. Two years before, two years before that, Blake Shelton, Blake Shelton. That's he's married to Gwen Stefani,

Gwen Stefani. And two years before that, David Beckham, David. Okay. And two years before that, levine adam levine is really he's really stuck around in a way that i didn't think i didn't think maroon 5 would be r u2 that it would just still keep going yeah yeah yeah is the edge on any of that list is the edge one of them yeah the edge one six years in a row uh that's called that it's

yeah it seems to be every single one other than that has been an actor except for jfk jr jfk jr okay right remember he was uh he was about to start a magazine. Right. George Magazine. George Magazine. And Cindy Crawford was on the cover dressed like George Washington. Huh. And then I think that was the plan, wasn't it? To have everybody on the cover dressed like George Washington? Yeah.

Is that right? That feels like a fever dream thing. Sounds like it, yeah. I think you're right. Are you riffing? Is this a riff? riff no i think this is actually like like i just that's the only thing i know about him aside from that he passed away from a plane crash yeah and he saluted his dad when is the that's right he did the very yeah

famous yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah is a plane crash would you call that natural causes yeah i mean if you if you're playing crashes and you die that's pretty i mean yeah gravity is natural yeah um maybe rfk jr is gonna win this year oh man he's you want to talk about a hottie with a body that's true he's he's uh he's stacked in a way none of the other opponents i mean i'd like to see biden with his shirt off but would i though do you know what i mean i've got some uh go to my deviant art page and you can find that i've done some drawings when biden came out and they were asking him to comment on the russian plane crash and he said he'd been working for an hour and a half working out i pictured it like there's on the simpsons where they like fold up mr burns and like unfold them

anyway i watched apocalypto okay uh it's very good is it really good it was shot on i was like there's a couple scenes where i was like it looks it was a time where they were kind of figuring like figuring out uh video and hd and stuff and it looked uh there's some scenes that look like you know when you're when you first get your tv home and you're like i gotta turn off this motion setting but it does have a little like there's a little bit of like cool like they're you know it takes place 500 years ago when they're running in the forest. But there's, like, cool angles of, like, that were very, like, influenced by whatever skateboard videos. A little fish cam?

Yeah, a little fish eye lens. Yeah, a little fish eye lens, yeah. Oh, cool. But anyway, I recommend it. You do, eh? Yeah, I guess I still do. okay it holds up it holds up to your uh and mel gibson is forever the sexiest man alive is the is anybody famous in the movie or are they all unknowns um johnny knoxville shows up yeah he's like all smacking the tribesmen or whatever no they're all they're all um mexican or um central american i believe okay okay cool yeah

um well i've never seen it but i will check it out is it very violent i feel like somebody said it's very violent yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and that's the other part of like okay well this is good but we know mel gibson is racist so what is his statement on this yeah yeah that's true but uh anyway uh undeniable undeniable absolutely okay the undeniable mel gibson did you ever do you guys ever watch uh berner herzog documentaries i watched the one about uh i've watched quite a few of them but one of them i've watched recently was fitzcarraldo where i haven't seen that one where he's like documenting it's me fitzcarraldo hey it's me you you break it i fits it

i was trying to be irish i know but then i took it in a mario direction i only mentioned that because there was this there's one that i watched uh journey to the end of the world where he goes to antarctica and talks to people that live down there and uh it's quite a beautiful film film um but there's like a a mechanic that lives down in antarctica who claims to be of mayan descent and uh the the the thing that's uh noticeable about it is that like uh his two is like his index his middle finger and his whatever this ring finger is are like twice as long as his uh pointer finger and his pinky finger. Oh. And that's like, you know, that's from... Are you sure it wasn't Dane Cook?

Yeah, it was Dane Cook. Su-Fi, wasn't it called? Was it the shock or something? It was the super finger. It was this. It was... And there was a thumb, too? Was it like that?

Yeah. Anyway. I got all the merch if i had a dane cook shirt i would wear it i i absolutely would wear a dane cook shirt yeah the uh um yeah so this mechanic long fingers yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah just imagine uh imagine how happy that guy's wife must be okay all right all right that's uh he's got to trim back his fingers every couple of weeks um yeah anyway uh check it out check it out soon to the theater check out the uh verner herzog documentary anyway yeah um graham what's up with you i this past weekend my uh brother and sister-in-law were in town uh to see a music concert so i went

to two concerts back to back i went on friday were these right were these part of the pne uh one of them was part of the pne yeah and then the other one was at the uh the vogue downtown and these are was this uh your brother patrick brother patrick and his wife renee um they had bought tickets for and i've never heard of this band before uh before this sylvan eso does that oh yeah ring a bell um they were yeah they were weren't going to calgary so they flew out here to see them and you decided to go with yeah i was like hey you know you guys are going anyways so why not um i think they paid for the ticket i don't recall paying for the ticket myself but but you supplied everyone with a micro dose of shrooms yes exactly you got it sylvanesso gets into your brain i'm rolling man so the weird

thing was they had this opening act and the bass was so aggressive that i thought i was going to have a heart attack like it was really it just felt like it was like in my body and I hated it so much. So I, I chilled out in the lobby for, for a while until that was done. This was a bass guitar or was it electric? No electric, crazy electric bass. And also I think it was all the,

the consensus was that it looked like it had been prerecorded because there were certain points where the artist was playing the guitar and then put it down and the guitar kept going for a couple seconds. She might have been singing the lyrics, but also that could have been fake as well. I don't know.

In any case, the bass was real and I was like, oh man, this feels awful. The bass was in your face. The bass awful like i think probably the face was in your face the ace was in my face is in your face um you know they were aces of it for sure absolutely what they were doing um what they were doing at no point did they like pull out a how uh base for dummies i don't get this mace up but yeah let's say this band was bass forward and why are the notes so low on this thing and can i it's just like there's no treble in this at all what the fuck give us

a treble song one treble song so that i can yeah just so i can calibrate it as a control yeah yeah but it was so it was so crazy and i was like okay i hang out in the lobby and then i was like wait was it megan trainer it was megan trainer yeah she came out and said she's all about that bass and then it was just bass the rest of the time she didn't even sing yeah it's just her slapping a bass uh yeah she's a real one-man band, that Megan Trainor. Yeah, but not a whole band, just the bass. Just the bass. No, no, no, no, no.

I'm all about that bass. Only bass. No drums. I'm all about that bass. Bass only. But have you ever, like, as a youth, did you go to a concert and there was like crazy bass and you were like this feels awesome this is awesome yeah i feel it in my body not awesome yeah as time goes on you're like this feels like uh an arrhythmia i don't uh i don't enjoy going to a

school dance and be i would put my head in the speakers. This is so loud. Dave, you're chaperoning out of the base. Uh, I remember like going to a lot of punk rock shows in my early teens and being specifically being able to, I could not identify the base. Like I couldn't hear any notes. Yeah. You know, I could, I being able to, I could not identify the bass. Like, I couldn't hear any notes. Yeah.

You know, I could hear like, brrr, but I couldn't pick, I couldn't with my ear or any other part of my body, really. Yeah. Identify any individual notes that a bass is playing. But punk music is not very, it's not very bass heavy. It's like MXPX. Or the bass will play the exact same thing the drums are playing. Yeah. Or the guitar is playing yeah or the guitar

is playing right yeah okay okay yeah it's uh this is like this is straight up dj blasting it as uh you know as close to the brown note as you can go before uh no turnbacks you know you know that tim you fix toilets oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah very familiar with blast but yeah i can definitely pick up the bass if it's like um boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom um so it was too loud too bassy had to hang out in the lobby uh have you ever uh put earplugs in for concerts i mean we were having a plug in absolutely yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but it sounds like you needed chest plugs i needed some sort of yeah vest a kevlar vest or something like yeah yeah um and so yeah it was like uh that i was like okay well from all i've heard of sylvan

so one song they're pretty chill and then they come out it's like and it's like ah crap so i i hung out in the lobby and watched through uh some curtains they've been doing a really good live show good lights good costumes but. But I'm an old man. I got no time for the bass rhythm anymore. But I can't imagine there were very many people much younger than you. It was the most

different kind of crowd that I've ever seen. There was no unifying age, sex, look. It was just people from all different backgrounds. I couldn't get a hold on who who this uh band's fan base was yeah were people standing up yeah yeah that was another reason that i was like i gotta get out of here no i found out i had a seat i don't want to fucking stand for an hour and a half yeah i went to go see a concert recently

down in uh niagara falls usa okay and it was uh tim heidecker uh good tim bad tim tour where the first half is stand up and the second half is him and his very good band oh yeah and he did something during that concert where he's like i know a lot of times you see a band and you're not sure when to stand when to sit so i'm just gonna tell you see a band and you're not sure when to stand, when to sit. So I'm just going to tell you, okay, for this song, you're standing for the next song. You're sitting. And I loved that. I loved that. We had like designated songs that we could all sit to, you know?

Yeah. And it was because I had good seat, could see the stage. And then it just takes one person to stand up and then everybody's like well i guess we're all standing up now yeah god damn it but luckily the base was making me feel ill so i could uh go out in the lobby and you know sit on some stairs you might have shingles i might have shingles i was itching the whole time. Yeah. Oh, now that I'm seeing, yeah, you're covered in high.

Yeah. No, I think it's from the base. You guys, I think it's from the base making me itchy. Um, what other concerts did you go to on Saturday night? I went to the PNE and I saw a little band called Aqua.

When it's a Aqua. And what is the PNE? Is that an exhibition? Yeah. It's a aqua and what is the peony is that an exhibition yeah it's a pacific national exhibition there's one out that way called the cne in the uh yes it's a fair the fair yeah yeah aqua did this is the summer to see aqua yeah oh my god yeah um uh can i tell you can i tell you what she said in the lead-in to the bar because she did say obviously she sang barbie girl uh-huh but her lead-in was you want to hear it i haven't seen the film yet and then she's saying it yes but she's cashing those checks. Absolutely. Yeah. She's a. Now, can I name more than that song of theirs? I can name Dr. Jones.

This is the thing. I thought Dr. Jones and Barbie Girl were the only songs I was going to recognize. Oh, you have something lollipop candy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Candy man. What was the other one that you've definitely heard and probably don't know

let me just look up because they did there was a couple ones where I was like oh yeah I did know this this song but they there was Barbie Girl there was Cartoon Heroes that was another one

Cartoon Heroes so they did they played more songs than I thought that i knew and they were they were great they knew exactly like what they were bringing to the stage i'm sure like they uh the guy who's like the bald guy it's just like he's like pitbull he looks like pitbull he's got on crazy glasses it bothered me how much he didn't look like ken in the video yeah i thought you could have worn some plastic hair or something like that yeah that was uh that was a big misstep that really cost them a few years yeah that would have been that would have been everyone's uh costume but here's the thing well

you go to a cna a pna show rather The greatest thing about it, it lands exactly at an hour and a half. There's no filler. There's no encore. You're done. Yes. Out you go. Everybody leaves. Was it last year you saw Gordon Lightfoot?

Burton Cummings. Oh, but two years ago you saw Gordon Lightfoot. No, I've never seen Gordon Lightfoot. Who did I see? You saw Gordon Lightfoot. No, I've never seen Gordon Lightfoot. Who did I see? You saw Gordon Lightfoot. I don't think so. Because I think you saw Gordon Lightfoot and he was so quiet. You could hear all the rides louder than him.

No, I do not recall that. I know when Burton Cummings was on stage, he had Randy Bachman with him and he just sat there like a sad puppet. Was Randy's hand in his ass? Past guest, Pat Kelly has a great story about Aqua that maybe he should tell, but about like they they he was a host on ytv oh yeah and when in their heyday and they came and he interviewed them and like he and the singer were like vibing oh yeah she gave him she gave him her number and he lost it and he was so sad i would be are you

kidding me this is but this is not my story to tell but man oh man that's the dream meeting a pop star and them being like hey give me a shot we i can get you backstage something like that i can introduce you to the bald guy. I swear I can. I'm going to be on this stage. How do you think I'll get there? From the back. And the funny thing about it that I didn't notice until the show was over,

but my brother Patrick caught it, was there used to be four of them. Did you buy his ticket to that? Yes. No, they bought their own ticket. I was going anyway, so they brought their own ticket. Suckers. But

there were four of them, originally. There were four members of Aqua. And they showed, during the show, they showed all the music videos that went with whatever song, and that person had been cut out of all those videos. Oh, really?

Yeah, had been lifted out of the those videos really yeah had been uh lifted out of the videos and had extra footage i guess uh snipped in so i am looking at the the other album cover aquarium yeah um the special edition which i own um yeah dave's looking at he's looking at a signed uh lp right now and call me sometime on it what the hell i could get you backstage and there's a lead singer and there's ken and then the other two guys honestly if you combine them into one guy i wouldn't notice they're they're very similar looking yeah the guy that's still in it plays the piano. And their piano is a giant boom box. So that's pretty cool. Good stage.

They were awesome. It was like, I couldn't expect anything more from a... Standing up or sitting down? Standing the whole time. Because you had to buy tickets. It was assigned seating, which is weird for an outdoor fair. Yeah. I also saw, and I've never seen this ever before in my life

I saw a guy wearing a Nickelback shirt which I've ironically or no I've never seen somebody wearing a Nickelback shirt so was it a tour shirt? it was a tour shirt from like I think 6 days ago or something like that wow yeah brand new crispy shirt

they have a documentary coming out about how everyone hates them. Do they really? Yeah. Oh, that sounds good. I used to do an impression of Jack Kruger listening to a Canadian comedy album.

It's just like, Hey, this is pretty good. Hey. Oh, what? Come on. I'm on a punchline.

I'm a man. Have you ever seen this? The guy who did the stand up set about what's wrong with Guy Fieri? And he's defending him. And then at one point he switches into. Yeah. And by the way, what's wrong with Nickelback? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Shane Torres. Yeah. Oh, he's so funny. Yeah. is into it yeah and by the way what's wrong with nickelback yeah yeah yeah yeah shane torres yeah oh he's so funny yeah it was great um i could see that yeah anyways yeah god done all my concerts for the summer that's uh i got two in right at the end there you see a few more before the summer's over okay i'll go what what it's playing at the local you know the the union hall what's going on there uh boy just the dock workers are doing their barbershop quartet oh i would go see a barbershop quartet in person i really well they play at the little um uh At the little plaza around here

Oh they do? I've seen Barbershop Quartets there Fuck I love it I saw Econoline Crush there a couple weeks ago Nice What was their big song again? Well it's all that you are You're just one shining star

Yeah Is that a cicada? Is that a cicada? shining star yeah is that a cicada um do you guys mind if i step away for two seconds angie st. mars is locked outside okay well you know what let's move on to a bit of business well that sound means there's a bit of time for business. Or time for a little bit of business. Either way you want to say it. That's right. This week on the business docket. Yeah, the docket.

We have a bit of a jumbotron, as a matter of fact. Not just a bit of one. We got a whole jumbotron. A whole jumbotron, yeah. And this one is a message. Well, this is to promote a show with a past guest of our show. Yeah. The message is this.

Vancouver, we have a fringe festival show for you. Casey Novak, former spy guest, and Lauren McGibbon is a comedic actor from a series of unfortunate events. Our show is funny. It's called This Is Not A it's called this is not a scam it's not a scam it's the masterpiece we forgot to make during the pandemic while we were too busy watching cult documentaries it's about two sisters strapped for cash who decide to use their netflix knowledge of cults for good shows run september 8th through september 16th at arts umbrella and uh that sounds good all of that uh that sounds like a good ticket i'll buy a ticket

i'll buy a ticket and watch that show unless i meet one of them and they can get me backstage in which case uh follow t-i-n-a-s for this is not a scam t-i-n-a-s dot fringe on instagram or search for this is not a scam on vancouverfringe.com for tickets and show info get your ass out there and get some culture back to the overheards then there bud you got it bud somewhere in an alternate universe where hollywood is smarter and the emmy nominees for outstanding comedy series are jet pacula airport marriott dear america we've seen you naked and all in the family. You can't see any of these shows, but you can listen to them on dead pilot society.

The podcast that brings you hilarious comedy pilots that the networks and streamers bought, but never made journey to the alternate television universe of dead pilot society on maximumFun.org. I'm Jesse Thorne. Bullseye is celebrating 50 years of hip-hop by bringing you an entire month of brand new interviews with rappers. That means Jeezy. I put my pain in the music. Angie Stone.

You know, hip-hops. We called pain in the music. Angie Stone. You know, hip hops. We called them hops back then. Master P. Music is what's going to open the doors for us, but whatever we come up with after this, it's going to be bigger. Plus, Chica, Saba, even the greatest of them all, Rakim.

That's this September. Open up that podcast app, type in Bullseye, and hit subscribe. You're not going to want to miss any of this. Overheard. Overheard's a segment wherein we request that you share with us the things that you hear out there in the world. We always like to start with the guest. Tim, do you have an overheard for us?

Oh, boy. Oh, do I ever. So I overheard this podcast. I was talking about a friend that got a phone number. Not my story to tell. And he said it wasn't his story to tell. Can you believe that? But he told it.

He still told it. I didn't tell the whole thing. There's more. So I was walking to one of these open mics and I was walking down Bloor Street on my way to Tall Boys, a great venue here with great shows.

Nice bar, good food, surprisingly good food. Okay. Okay, I'm not here to promote their tater tots, but you could get like a whole bag of tater tots for $10. Why do they serve it in a bag? That seems like a weird way to eat. Nah, it's in like a big old, it's in a big old big old i mean it's still frozen in the bag you got a cookie so it's like one of those tables that's got the little stove in it and you just cook one like a full 450 degree uh deep fryer yeah they should do a hot pot restaurant, but instead of a hot pot, it's a deep fryer.

Or just like a, or an air fryer. Yeah. And when you're drunk, people take bets on whether or not this or that will deep fry. Put a pen in there. Roll of a sock, but let's see what it does. You got any forest game left? Sorry. Tim. Tim, please.

Sorry. That was from the first segment. No one will know what I'm talking about no so uh we're walking down the street uh actually angie and myself past guests um and there were these like two two teens uh walking uh up behind us and uh the and like the way these teens were like acting and the way they were dressed was like their style and their attitude was inspired by shock jock DJs. He had a basketball jersey and on the back of it, it said, fuck you. Nice. And they're blowing the biggest vape clouds you've ever seen. Yeah, because you're a teen you're a badass teen

exactly as they were walking up behind us one of them said to the other one get in me fat bastard that's the opposite of how an impressionist works where they say like now there's a little character you know named fat bastard and then you do the impression yeah like

miss quoting fat bastard of all the movies that i would assume these kids would be quoting austin powers is not necessarily one of them it may gives me hope for the youth of today that they're watching austin powers two or three if they did a remake of austin powers who would make a good austin power slash dr evil we need somebody who can do both. My guess? Right. Okay, Graham's got something in his mind. James McAvoy. James McAvoy. He looks good bald. We know he can act up a story. He can do an English accent.

That's my bet. That's my pick. How about you, Tim? I probably have to go with Mel Gibson. Yeah. Because he's a hottie. Yeah. Because he's groovy, baby. I didn't know. I didn't have an idea until you said James McAvoy.

And then I was like, no. James Corden. Yes. Ah, yes. This generation's Mike Myers. He's a British accent. And he's rude to waiters like Dr. E. Bull. Yeah.

That's right. that's right that's right have you heard the like urban legend about him about the plane when he's like somebody saw him on the plane and the woman next to him has a kid and he's looking all annoyed and she's trying to put stuff in the overhead compartment and uh this guy like just sitting there being grumpy as hell. Then he puts on his headphones and then it turns out that that woman is his wife and he's James Gordon. There's no way that happened, but it's a great, it's got the makings of a good urban legend. I hate having to fly with a kid, even if it's mine. Headphones in, starts screaming. headphones in starts screaming um did you know that uh uh all of the late night talk show hosts have started a podcast yes steven colbert jimmy kimball together jimmy yeah because that's what

i've always wanted john all the people who just ask questions to be in a podcast together where they're asking each other questions yeah yeah who do you think will be the dominant host of that show you've got cordon you've got no cordon's not in it is he it's i think cordon's out jimmy seth myers jimmy seth steven and steven and tom snyder. Tom Snyder. Yeah. Remember? And Mike Bullard. Mike Bullard. Yeah. Number one with a Bullard.

People in the States who don't know Mike Bullard was our one shot at having a late night comedy show. And we've never tried since. And that's his show is called Open Mike with Mike Bullardard and that's why tim hates open mics to this day because he's sometimes there mike bullard working on a new five i did once right off the top of his head i wrote uh an erotic fan fiction about the open mic with mike bullard for a show once and if you want for your special behind the paywall i'll read it for you i'll send it to you you can read it you should put that on uh task rabbit i need somebody to read this to me i'll send this to you um dave do you have an overheard i have an overdreamt oh i like it

um i had either a couple days when i was just dreaming non-stop i don't always dream and when i do i don't always remember them and legendarily you have very boring dreams i legendarily have very boring dreams this is not that okay i am i have entertaining dreams and here are three of them was it a wet dream um no these were dry dreams um dry as um boy as the day is long i guess i was gonna say your mom oh shit i'll have you know my mom is very wet dream number one uh-huh uh i was like i was outside my house okay okay good start already sleeping in my car sleeping in my car okay okay and in your dream you're sleeping in your car yeah and i'm awoken to construction the house next to my house is under construction and but they're

putting in giant like pilings like they're building a skyscraper yeah and i'm like so tired and i look at the clock in my car and it's four in the morning and and uh so i call i i'm really mad and i get uh the foreman comes up to my car and i'm saying hey what you're it's four in the morning you can't be making this kind of noise people are trying to sleep what do you like what are the bylaws when are you allowed to actually start making this much noise and he goes well 4 30 but by the time you complain they're not going to be able to do anything and i was like okay go ahead city has a bylaw where you can start construction at 4.30 in the morning. Yeah, even if people are sleeping in their cars. Outside their own homes.

I don't even know if this guy lives in the neighborhood. He's sleeping in his fucking car over here. So, like, that's a bylaw disagreement is an exciting dream. I guess so. I guess so. Okay, next dream. I'm walking down the street with my family And I look over and there's just a huge crowd On the other side of the street

And it's outside a church and there's like paparazzi And just tons of people And Canada's Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his I guess Separated wife Sophie Gregoire uh they're they're at her mother's funeral oh wow that seems like it's a dream trying to warn you of something

it's uh yeah you're supposed to decode and then so it's but then it's just justin and sophie loading the coffin into the hearse didn't get any pallbearers just the two of them just the two of them and it's so much work and she's crying and she's she finally they finally push it in there and she does this big comical like fall down onto her butt yeah yeah something for the paparazzi yeah i was like oh they're gonna have a field day now when they bring out the casket is it one person on each end or are they standing side to side and carrying it they're on both sides of it yeah okay oh yeah push it because if it was one person they're loading it into a vehicle but yeah don't they have to walk it down the steps right i didn't see that much okay the tip is already in yeah the tip is it talk about your wet yeah yeah right um do i have to

lube up a hearse what's that nothing if you don't then it hurts um do you ever get people dave like messaging you and be like hey i i have a dream decipherer I'm a decipherer of dreams here's what that dream detective something like that no we don't get a lot of those but if you're out there if you're looking for a quick thing to analyze why not so here's a weird one I okay here's my third dream okay okay I dream that i i am having this dream that i'm watching entertainment tonight okay online or on tv on tv on tv canada or us uh us

okay okay um entertainment tonight classic we call it up here so yeah no yeah no rick campanelli no he's not on there anymore either brian mulrooney he's already yeah brian mulrooney right he's on it ex-prime minister brian can i tell my dream i'm watching entertainment tonight and uh they just the host says in superhero news wingman and then so there's this the screen comes up and there's a logo for a superhero named wingman so funny that's pretty good and and the w in it starts spinning around and the host goes wingman is now Ming Man. And then a picture of Jason Momoa comes up. Now that's the dream I was waiting for. That's the dream of my dreams right there.

I imagine Dave like in his sleep, giggling. I woke up. Yeah, I was like, this was the best contact momoa re yeah and it wasn't he wasn't in costume or anything it was like a getty images photo of him and the font for wingman i'll try it's a real font i'll try to find it i guess ming man ming man yeah alphetica maybe not no no no it was like not cooper pretty crazy it was a pretty crazy font okay i picture it as a very blocky font no no no i'll find it for you and it was i want to say it was like turquoise and purple okay yeah i can see that i think the wingman mingman logo i'm picturing something like the super mario brothers logo from the movie from the 90s

no don't stop thinking that put that out of your mind i'm thinking aquaman colors yeah no no no well look we could guess fonts all day and uh and i would if we if we had the time mingdings um anyway so those are my dreams uh graham over to you um this is from the fair the pne fair i was uh walking it's cheek to jowl in there on a on a saturday night everybody's doing everything lineups all over the place and the woman behind me at the i was going to get a corn dog veggie dog at the corn dog place and she says talking about the boy she's there with i think he says let's get mini donuts and i said yeah

if you don't mind me barfing so as long as you don't mind that then you can enjoy them is she gonna barf from their grossness or is she allergic i feel like she was either gonna go on a to barf from their grossness or is she allergic i feel like she was either gonna go on a ride and puke oh or or she had eaten so many things that it was like i can't bear another thing i um so i i love roller coasters yeah but but i don't like any other rides. Right. Uh, cause I get, I get sick. Um, and, uh, but I'm like, I'm pretty in touch with the movement my body can do. I can go forward. And the, as long as we're moving forward, I, I'm all right. It's better.

Like it's spinning and swinging or bad for me. Okay. Yeah. Um, if you're on a train can you sit uh backwards you know like yeah that's no problem uh but i uh when we were in denmark we went to the uh the tivoli tivoli gardens which was a um like an amusement park and they uh there was a roller coaster and i was like great let's get on it and the girls were like are you sure dad it's got a little twisty bit that goes in a circle and i was like it's a roller coaster it goes forward yeah i was wrong i was wrong and i had to take a

two-hour break in the middle of the day no at the beginning of the day actually shit because you're all spinning yeah the spins I was like I have to sit down now I cannot move shit put your headphones in yeah what's with these loud kids Graham do you have an overheard? I do

Tim do you have another overheard? I have another overheard that's a real quick one it's from a beach uh i was sitting and uh these people walked by and they said i kid you not they said um you don't have to pay for the mayonnaise anymore well i mean it's about time we got a break exactly um yeah i've never been to a place that's been withholding of mayo but ah yeah charging from i mean yeah mayo cost like a beach yeah you know it was that it was right by like a yeah it was like a burger and fries oh cool the beach cool do you think they have pump or uh packet i hate those packets we love a mayonnaise i believe it was packet um i'm a pump man myself yeah that's what i hear

yeah that's your reputation on task rabbit yeah oh it's gotten out this guy's a real male um we also have overheard sent in to us from people all over the map you want to send one in send it to us that's spy at maximum fun.org this first one comes from Paige from Chicago. The other day, I was at the post office when I heard a woman in her 60s talking to a younger man, I assumed to be her son. As they were leaving the post office,

the woman said in an excited but hushed tone, I've never met someone so intimidatingly handsome. Did you see how white his teeth were? Which is pretty much one thing you can for sure fake handsome wise. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Must've been a dentist. Yeah. Yeah. They can work on themselves anytime they like. Yeah. Go home afterward. I wonder what the dentist policy is.

Of, of doing your own work. I wonder what the dentist policy is. Of doing your own work? Yeah. Do you charge other dentists for dental work? It's like with the barber. You look for the dentist with the worst teeth. The worst teeth? Yeah. Is he the one everyone else works on?

No. He works on everyone else. Yeah. Have you guys got the whitening done? I'm thinking about getting it done. I'm thinking about going for a whitening. I did the crest white strips when they first came out. Your teeth got sore?

Yeah, my whole face hurt. Yeah, I've heard that about them. I read it wrong. I went to sleep with it in. I woke up the next day. I had a week of just the most painful mouth ever. You really went to sleep with them in? woke up the next day i was like i had like a week of just the most painful mouth ever you really went to sleep with them in yeah yeah how could you bear it i don't know i was probably drunk i don't know i don't know go for a night of drinking you wake up in the morning what did i do last night your teeth are super white what the fuck did i do

when i back when i had a proper job and i had like dental insurance i got like uh i was going to whiten my teeth for a wedding or something like that uh and i got like you're not supposed to wear white teeth to a wedding no it was before labor day um and so i have the kit i got the kid i got the molds i got the syringe things Or whatever I just haven't Gotten around to it I was still On and off The cigarettes at the time So I was like I'm going to wait

Until I'm done these Right And I'm six months Off the cigarettes So maybe I'll Whiten my teeth Hey congratulations On six months

That's fantastic Thank you very much And I'm done done I'm done done this time You're done You're out I'm done for good Have you replaced them

With anything Are you vaping Cigars You chewing You're done. You're out. I'm done for good. Have you replaced them with anything? Are you vaping? Cigars. You chewing? No, I did the easy way to quit smoking for the third time. But I did it. I did it and I feel great. And every day I tell myself how great it is that I don't smoke anymore.

Yeah, because it is. You can get your teeth wet and anytime you freaking want that's right but you miss it right oh i miss it so much no i don't even miss it i remember like i started smoking when i was cigarettes when i was 14 and uh when i was like in grade what was the number one song when you started smoking cigarettes? Maybe Barbie Girl. It could be Barbie Girl, yeah. It was in school and I think I quit when I was 16 and then I was 17 and we watched that movie The Outsiders. We had read the book and then we watched the movie.

And then the whole movie is just teens smoking cigarettes. And I was like, Whoa, that looks cool. And it's also like school sanction too. Yes. Yeah. It's cool. So this is. For class.

Yeah. I don't get why Tom Cruise is a handsome guy. I'm a C Thomas Howell man. Is it just me everybody? Your whole essay about the movie is just that. He's not hot. He's actually, speaking of teeth, he's got one tooth in the middle. Have you noticed? Middle.

Anyways. The teacher's like, we weren't talking about teeth. And one more thing I don't like about him. This next one comes from Matt from right here in Vancouver, BC. I was standing in line at no frills and eavesdropping on a man and a woman in front of me. As far as I am aware, they were strangers,

but they were chatting a bunch, having a good time at no frills. Like you do. After a while, they started talking about how hot it's been in Vancouver. And the guy said, I can't cook these days. It's too hot,

but I don't like sandwiches. So what can you do that's the only thing you can do is not cooking sandwiched your hands are tied yeah i mean what are the best uncooked meals of all time number one gotta be bowl of cereal well cereal i'm looking at you smoothie i'm uh i'm looking at you tuna yeah out of the can in a can they should uh have a raw food restaurant that's like a bowl of cereal yeah this is a sub sandwich yeah salad yeah salad is a good one yeah that's a big one cold soup uh gazppacho. There's something like that. Gazpacho. Yeah. Is a wrap a sandwich? Wrap is a sandwich adjacent.

Yeah, sure. Enough that, you know, like you would get a wrap. You wouldn't order a sandwich and accidentally get a wrap. Sure. You know? Lettuce wraps? Oh, I love a good lettuce wrap. Sure.

Cabbage roll. These are all things that can be nice nice cold things not just sandwiches as cooked as it gets but oh is it is it really good yeah we had them they're cold but maybe but they got cooked at one point yeah you got a hell of a there you go you could probably leave a bunch of pierogies in the sun for long enough that's true if it's as hot as they say it is yeah just put some uh onions down there let them caramelize a bit um this last one comes from phil dave from a place called oshkosh oh there's a guy writing in from oshkosh no way and they're not even allowed to do Lord's name in vain there

that's right Oshkosh for gosh yeah they're not allowed to swear at all like before the original name of that brand was Oshkosh for fuck's sake Jesus Christ this is a a a shrill eight-year-old shrill eight-year-old yeah he's

at a somewhat chaotic birthday party and an eight-year-old said i've always wanted to see an ambulance in real life so this is perfect okay maybe somebody ill yeah he's uh stealing something uh because everybody just responds all at once right it's whoever gets there first i guess if ambulances get there they have to shoot the bad guy you mean if a policeman gets there oh no sorry so no matter what no matter what i think the fire department is always there first the fire department beats everyone there to it. Yeah. They have to. They have to.

Speaking of firemen, makes me think of fireman calendar. Who's on the next month of your calendar? We're on August 30th here, so. Oh, me? Yeah. Your dog, hockey dog. Well, you were asking about firemen, and I was like, huh? So we just wrapped up uh august with uh delilah demko that's your demko's dog and oh there's two dogs next month uh belonging to uh

travis dermot we have nyla and huxley dermot nice two dogs what kind of dogs are we looking at here they're australian shds. Their favorite food is anything edible and their favorite hobby is relaxing. Nice. Nice. Good. Right on. Okay. Good. Cool. I love a twofer. I think that might be the last, September might be

the last month of this calendar. Yeah, because it goes for the hockey season. Oh shit. Okay. Hopefully I'll be picking up a new canucks calendar soon and i don't know if it'll what the theme will be this year we can only hope yeah in addition to overheards that are written and we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 that's one ugh spy pod, like these else around. I hear him mumble to himself, and I'm pretty sure I heard what he said, which was something ridiculous.

But then I go over after he leaves to confirm my horror. I see that he was looking at a loaf, like a dessert loaf of bread, covered with cinnamon, with a deep, moist crack in the center and uh what he had said what i'd correctly overheard him say to himself was hmm cinnabussy my favorite james bond film i so i i um uh it was a little late putting together the overheards this

weekend i was just like like 10 minutes before showtime i was listening to a bunch and i heard this one and i laughed out loud and I cried. Mmm, instead of pussy. Anyway, the less said about that, the better. Sure, yeah, yeah. Nice phone call. Shout out to Buffalo. Hey, stop podcasting yourself.

So I went to pick my kid up from karate practice. And I'm driving past this like, you know, 10, 20 year old minivan. And I see a bumper sticker and it says, honk. If you really love Snoopy or are insane, that covers the gambit.

That's everything. Honked in all the way. And you don't have to be insane to love Snoopy but it helped yeah god damn snoopy it's not even called snoopy i always thought it was called snoopy but it's peanuts is the name yeah and it's not i thought it was called charlie brown and it's not it's called peanuts um do you guys like snoopy or are you insane which which category do you put yourself in oh i guess it depends if i've had my coffee yet um which one are you more like if you've had your coffee are you more likely to like snoopy or be insane i'm nuts i'm nuts uh but if i haven't then i'm sleepy like snoopy yeah is that as overarching yeah is that his characteristic he sleeps on top remember him like

getting interrupted while he's sleeping on top of his dog house you know but he wasn't like a prankster he wasn't really he was just wasn't a prankster i wasn't was he i think in the cartoons he had kind of a kind of laugh yeah yeah yeah yeah um it's a lot of like stealing linus's blanket i mean the biggest pranksters are lucy pulling that football away yeah and no other people yeah i feel like lucy yeah did lucy also uh run the psychiatrist stand yeah yeah cicada psychada yeah yeah that horrible noise that uh tim's was recording that instrument blocked out and then uh later on she married uh that guy from cuba and ricky ricardo took me a minute yeah that's when we all fell in love with her. Yeah, we love Lucy, don't we folks?

And of course the Red Baron. That phrase to me still has not gone old. I still love that. We love it, don't we folks? Don't we folks? It still makes me laugh. We love it. Final phone call.

Hey Dave and Graham. This is Camille from Seattle calling in with an overheard. I'm in Michigan right now, and I was at a restaurant, and I overheard this mom scolding her kids, saying, Hey, hey, we don't talk about people's bodies like that. Oh. Oh, the earth is flat? Oh, yeah, that's something some people believe i thought you said bertha's flat yeah i was trying to think of another thing

i was like myrtle's fat yeah what else could it be oh man yeah very popular uh adolescent girl named bertha bertha i feel like that's a comic character as well bertha it's maybe from am i wrong that it's from riverdale or from archie comics oh boy you might be thinking of ethel ethel that's anything not bertha um anyway so all the birththas out there, we're not talking about your bodies. Keep your bodies to yourself. There is a comic strip named Bertha, apparently,

according to... Comicschip.com According to Google Images. I can't place this anywhere. Anyway, go ahead. What's Bertha up to this week? Bertha's back. Bertha's back. Bertha's back. All right.

Tim. Yes. This is the end of this year podcast. You're doing. What? Shows in Toronto. Every month? Yeah.

Or is it just to kind of whenever it happens? I'll try to get up more than once a month. But. No, I mean, you're. You're. Oh, yeah. Dana. The show that Dana and I host is the first Monday of every month,

uh, at comedy bar, 8 PM. Tickets are 15 bucks on the comedy bar website. We have four great comics every single month. past, uh, past people in the show of past guests of the podcast, Chris Locke,

Jackie Pierco, Mark Little, uh, who's now moving to New York city. past uh past people in the show of past guests of the podcast chris lock jackie pierco mark little uh who's now moving to new york city what the hell is he now look at him uh yeah i know um but anyways it's a it's a fun time it's a great time if you got uh if you got uh a repair need in toronto yeah you know the name of your show is thruple threat thruple threat yes d-h-r-u-p-p-l-e i had a hard time figuring out how to spell what like which spelling of thruple to go with i think that's tough yeah most sense i think so um it's a gross word all the same it's hard to say otherwise it looks like throuple yeah yeah yeah yeah yes yeah yeah yeah um yeah well uh thank you for being our guest oh yeah thanks for being our guest we love it don't we folks

we love having tim on the podcast it's huge it. Stop it. Well, thank you for being our guest. Thank you everybody out there for listening to the podcast. You know what? If you're in a throuple, good for you. Maybe someday you'll become a quadra. And if not, just love the ones you're with and come on back next week for

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