Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 813 - Kevin Banner

Episode Date: October 17, 2023

Comedian Kevin Banner returns to talk lasagne weather, the return of hockey, and wedding clothes.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 813 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who at this point in time I'm worried about him because he doesn't have any Canucks calendar whatsoever, Mr. Dave Shumka. Okay, so every year the Canucks, the Vancouver Canucks Hockey Squadron, along with the pharmacy squadron put out

a calendar and it's it goes October to September it has all the hockey games listed on the calendar they didn't do it this year and now I have three months without a calendar because I can't just they're not doing it at all

the thing is when you don't do something you don't announce it so they haven't said we're not doing it but everyone's like hey not everyone four nerds four nerds on twitter are like hey uh i went to pharmacy they say they're not doing it anymore what do you guys say and the team has not answered oh man that's uh that's like when i found out that the um beyond meat sandwich at starbucks had been discontinued because i said do you have any more and he said no never again well i mean at least they discontinued it and didn't just secretly put meat in it yeah we got one of those it's beyond me uh our guest today returning guest to the podcast very funny comedian has a brand new comedy special out on youtube called heavy favorite

kevin banner hello how are you good buddy i uh i just went to buy a calendar we needed a calendar for the rest of the year and for the next of year and uh sometimes you can buy those like 18 month calendars or whatever so i went and i bought one and i get it home and only to find out that it's just next year and then the first half of the following year but the but the following year is such an unusably small like they put all of the following year on one page. So the final six months are just tiny. It's unusable. It's like when I'm drawing a picture and I run out of room. Yeah, if you're writing like, well, oh, shit.

Yeah, filling out a birthday card. And also, oh, okay, well. They really just went hard on January, February. They gave them three or four pages each. Yeah, I have my calendar currently is just one that has different foods on it because that was literally the only one that the drugstore had. And I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it.

What kind of foods? Well, this month is peppers. Okay. So not even like thematic for the month. No, they're like drawings of, yeah. You'd think pumpkin. I know. Could we do 12 months of the most popular food of each month?

January. Oh, that's too tough. No, no. I feel like January is like. Chili. Oh, I was going to say like an apple. How is January an apple? I don't know.

Something about it being the brand new something. It just made me think of an apple. Soup, maybe. Some yeah okay soup brand new soup february cinnamon right graham you don't get to answer first our current calendar is actually uh because that one was not usable but i wanted to replace we got one given to us by friends and it's them every oh i love that but it's sincere um like it's not like every month is like a fun jokey thing they're just like here's that time we went on a mountain i love that can you i'll trade you i want these peppers we get my parents every year a calendar of just pictures of their grandkids. But I wonder if they're on a podcast thing.

Yeah, we got these pictures of our friends. Should we get to know us? Yes. Get to know us. March, eggs. April. Oh, April will be eggs. Always?

Because of Easter. Easter, yeah. But when like green something in March? March. The green plastic grass you get in your Easter basket. Yes, yes. There you go. I think every month would be chalupas if I was behind. 12 months of chalupas.

So I've been. Except October would be Crunchwrap Springs. I've been waiting for the weather to get cool because I like to get, there's a Mexican place up the street and I like to get enchiladas there. But enchiladas are kind of a hearty food. Yeah. Not like a summertime, let's go get enchiladas. No, they're like a nice, they warm the soul. Yeah.

And I went to the, I ordered online and I checked the price and then I had to, I did a double take because I, they were expensive to begin with. Yeah. Like for getting a lunch, it was $18. $18. It was $18. Oh shit. What would you say, what would you guess it is now? I'm shocked.

Like I was willing to go as high as $26. Well. What do you think? Well, that's ridiculous. I think 18 is ridiculous. Yeah, but like to go up since the first time I ordered them was like February of last year. So in a year. In a year and a half, how much could they have gone up?

Keep in mind, I don't buy them in the summer, so I'm assuming they don't even sell them in the summer. It's got to be at least $3. No, you were pretty close to $26. It's $25. $25! And that's before tip, right? I got to tell you. Tip suffered today.

Sometimes I'm usually a good tipper, but I had to just tell myself you know what you're just picking this up from a counter that you ordered online i just had a flashback years ago i this is sometimes somebody says something to you yeah i hate when that happens just the worst right somebody says something to you and it sticks in your brain and it will until the day you die and i think of dave every time i eat lasagna because i made a lasagna and i posted a picture of it and it was like august and dave's like yeah real lasagna weather and i think of that every time this is probably seven or eight years ago oh boy i mean what lasagna is like november in your calendar 25 wow And that Is it

The type of meal Where you eat Half of it And then eat Another half later Like it's not two meals No it's not two meals Oh okay

God damn it Yeah I will I will not be making That mistake again Oh yeah Did I tell you about My like crazy

Stupid DoorDash pizza Affair Yeah I heard you Had an affair with Yeah with a DoorDash delivery person. Somebody told me about a Detroit-style

pizza that they make at a place called AJ's Pizza. What makes it Detroit-style? It's poor. It's violent. It's run down. Michael Moore is always hanging around around it talking about his dad. Talking about how sad this pizza is. Hulk Hogan body slams Andre the Giant on it. Yeah, he's always hanging around it, talking about his dad. Talking about how sad this pizza is.

Hulk Hogan body slams Andre the Giant on it. Yes, yeah, these are all the criteria to make a Detroit-style pizza. It's just like a Chicago deep dish pizza. It's in a square pan, right? Yeah, it's in a square, and there's cheese around the edge where the kind of crust would be. So I wanted to try it. And so I called the pizza place, and they were like, oh, we don't deliver, but you can order it online.

I was like, so you can deliver it if you order it online? He was like, yeah. So I ordered it online, and then I was like, the website did a glitch, so I canceled my order. And then I got DoorDash to go pick it up and uh they couldn't

deliver it for some reason cause their their cost was gonna be like $15 for the delivery so I was like oh I'll go pick it up and when I got there there were two pizzas

that were both mine I was like great they just brought over two pizzas and I had one bite of the first one and I was like

oh I don't even really so I had to eat it for like at least three or four days just to get just power through yeah kevin yeah kevin it's been five years it's been a while yeah you in the in the interim you have had a uh divorce a move a move back, uh, another marriage, uh, a baby. Yeah. Uh, put out a special and I got a new full-time job. So everything's.

This is a, that's a lot. You said you had to move and a move back. What does that mean? I moved, uh, from the mainland to the island and then I moved back three years ago, but every show I do in Vancouver still people be like, how long are you in town? And they think that I still live on the island. I thought you still lived on the island. Yeah, I get that a lot.

How old's the baby? The baby is 20 months. What's that in earth years? Ah, just about two. Just about two? Just about two. Oh, yeah. So like roughly this, like a year and a just about two just about oh yeah so like roughly this like a year and a half calendar

um yeah i uh and my full-time job is great uh i spend about 40 hours a week online replying to people who say i look like a fat tom segura okay so things are going well yes you're yeah are you responding to these and going no i don't or no you're just reading i usually uh Are you responding to these and going, no, I don't? No, I usually Are you responding and saying, Tom Segura is actually already kind of bad? Well, what I've been doing is I've been cyber stalking

and cyber bullying these people. No, I try to find somebody that they look like and clap back. Most recently, I told a guy he looked like welfare Seth MacFarlane. So, he liked it. That's true. What are you doing that your full-time job is showing your picture to people?

No, because I put out my special and then I had two clips went viral on Facebook, which is, it turns out, where the worst people are. Oh, no. So, if it wasn't for people arguing in the comments, I don't think either clip would have gone viral. Well, I like a good clip where people just start talking to one another in the comments. Yeah. So, one of them is about, one of the clips is about breastfeeding. And so, that big is about one of the clips is about breastfeeding and so that big

big topic of debate and so that one really got a lot of comments moving the one that i didn't love how people took it was i have a joke about um how i have a daughter and a friend of mine was like oh don't you wish you had a boy well it's like think of all the money i'm gonna save one day i'll be the tooth fairy if i I had a son, that's a buck a tooth, daughter, 78 cents. Nice.

Just a fun little joke. And so then the worst garbage bags on the internet are like, yeah, I agree with this guy. The wage gap is a myth. And I was like, well, hold on. That's not what it came away with.

That's actually the opposite of what you're saying. Yeah. So I'm going on tour with Andrew Tate in one of the lasagna months. Sure. It should be fun. Andrew Tate is a big pizza guy. I don't. I'm not familiar.

Andrew Tate is the kickboxer turned. Sex trafficker. Yeah, sex trafficker who tells men how to be alpha. Oh, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. please don't act like you didn't graduate from alpha academy yeah come on so is he the guy yeah he just got busted because of a pizza no that's a myth that was a myth yeah but that's the guy yeah yeah okay uh it was the the myth was that he the cops tracked him down because he did like a live stream with a pizza box in the background and that's how they got a detective well because he was spending two weeks eating the same yeah

exactly style pizza the cop was like we got to find this guy who brought home two large pizzas but he was wasn't he in hungry or something so it was like yeah i mean, Detroit pizza is pretty exotic there. Um, yeah, I like it. I like, uh, an alpha dude telling me what's what, you know?

And I think there's not enough of them in standup comedy. I think, uh, I think more people need to be built. I think they need to be strong, physically strong to tell jokes. Uh, it's,

it's a strong man's activity. It's not for a noodle arms, right? We're all huge. noodle arms, right? We're all huge. We understand, right? We're all huge. Benching.

Been doing some of that. Yeah. I mean, the worst is when I skip leg day because no one lets me forget it. So, what is... Can I ask what your new job is? No, I was just joking. I don't actually have a job. Oh, you don't?

Okay. Oh, nice. I'm a full-time dad. Really? Yeah. That's awesome. That's pretty great. What is...

Go to the park. Yeah, what's a day like? Is it? Yeah, it's true. Go to the park. Wake up at six, get my wife up to deal with the baby. No, my wife gets up usually most days.

We'll swat. We don't get too deep. No, no, no. Get up in the morning. Breakfast for the kid. Take her to the park. Then we come back. She has a little snack.

Nap. I play some video games while she naps or I get shamed into chores. Shamed. I do chores because I while she naps or I get shamed into chores and shamed. I do chores because I don't have a day job. So, uh,

and then, yeah, we, uh, we'll do something in the afternoon today. We went to value village. Oh yeah. I found a bunch of VHS tapes.

So what'd you find? Uh, some good ones. I got under siege. Nice. So I, I go, you gotta watch that.

Uh, next week I go, go uh on my yearly trip into the woods for no particular reason with uh definitely not talking about any of that stuff again on this show oh my god death threats from spain so anyway me and my buddies go into a cabin and we just hang out and do nothing you do ouija board and scare each other right we have fun and uh but they have a VHS player up there so I got

I got Under Siege I got Jurassic Park nice I got uh the second and third Naked Gun movies the third's tough the first and second

are hilarious it's not the best but it's got a it's got it's got a couple of memorable ones does that have Anna Nicole Smith

yes it does right and it's at one point they think he's Phil Donahue because he's wearing glasses and has white hair. That's good. Yeah, it was good. But it's really like, you'd have to do a lot of homework if you're trying to watch it now. Well, so my kids now, they're nine and six.

And so we've started, uh, like they, they now can kind of tolerate the movies that we suggest. And so we've done like the princess bride and brief, the brief, the firm, all the Grishams. Um, and,

uh, but yeah, Jurassic park is on the list. Um, they've watched it. No, no, it's on the list of like to do.

Yeah. I think that one probably holds up. I'm sure it holds up. I just don't know if they will like it. Yeah. Yeah. Or if, yeah, I was trying to like, like it was pretty mind blowing for people of our generation. Yeah.

I didn't. I didn't love it. Oh, I saw it at a drive-in and that was super spooky because it's like you're out in the dark in a car car exactly the most dangerous place to be i saw my friend adam uh he covered his head with his jacket really he got too scared so what part did he get scared i do remember um yeah he was really upset about how close to the filter samuel jackson smoked a cigarette so he put his jacket over his head was this in the theater tell me when he stubs it out it was this yeah this wasn't that yeah uh yeah yeah he was really

scared because something about a ripple in the water always got to him. What? All of a sudden, I just think, was Samuel L. Jackson, when he was saying, hold on to your butts, did he mean butts or did he mean cigarette butts? Interesting. He meant buttocks. Hold on to your buttocks. It was like the whole Homer Simpson, I once saw a man throw a shoe. Right. Yeah. But he was holding on to a butt at the time.

It was. Yeah. His own and a cigarette butt. So it was doubly confusing. Jeff Goldblum, you're a butt at the time. It was. Yeah. His own and a cigarette butt. So it was doubly confusing. Jeff Goldblum, you're a listener of the show. Please send him the, set the record straight. No, but don't vamp. He just sends a video.

Yeah. Oh, enough of that guy, right? Huh? Kevin. Yeah. Kevin. This is my Jeff Goldblum. Kevin.

Yeah. Yeah. What we are hoping to get from you is, yeah. I was watching. I'm going to try a new impression every week on the show. Okay. Last week was Stewie. Stewie.

I was watching. I have a two- set up here today. Um, and I was, uh, watching, I can watch my cable on my computer while I work. And I had it. He means penis. For what word? Cable? Cable?

Or, uh, so I was laying some cable. Wait, no laying pipe which one's pooping yeah well if yours is uh really slim then it's laying cable otherwise we we go with pipe um uh but i was watching um the big chill okay uh which i've only seen once before but i had it just on mute and there was a scene and young jeff goldblum is in it and he's eating uh ice cream out of a pint uh container and he is just fake fake stirring it around so badly like the way no one would ever eat ice cream this it must have been liquid at this point for the way he was moving his spoon around. Yeah. There's, was it like Dick Wolf, I think, said that on Law & Order, nobody's allowed to have a coffee or a cigarette because everybody just turns it into a prop and then it's just like annoying and well isn't that the big famous thing of like that people criticize law and order for uh the the like bit roles like they go visit a guy in a

warehouse and he's moving pallets and stuff while he's talking to them the worst uh for like eating on a television show was tony soprano was like he would because you can't eat pasta for 40 takes in a row so he's just kind of stabbing the plate yeah a lot of plate scraping and like moving stuff around can you imagine if he's method and he ate it for every single day oh he'd eat a baked ziti i saw taking the time your um uh personal hero jonah hill when when he was... Why did they tell you that? Yeah, I know. When they were filming Wolf of Wall Street, there's a scene where DiCaprio's like, you want that last piece of yellow fin?

And he's like, no, that's you. And so DiCaprio had to eat it. And then Jonah Hill kept botching takes so that he had to eat like 40 pieces of this yellow tail. And then he got sick. Aw. Leo, if you're listening, the same thing happened to sick. Aw. Yeah. Leo, if you're listening,

the same thing happened to Jeremy Piven. Yeah, that's right. He ate too much sushi. Um, I was, uh, uh,

looking at the new Leonardo DiCaprio Martin Scorsese movie. Three and a half hours? Three and a half hours. And I was thinking, I have this, like,

I have the discount deal for the movies where I get a free movie a month, uh, and then all my other movies are half off and I was this, like, I have the discount deal for the movies where I get a free movie a month. And then all my other movies are half off. And I was like, is this one that I buy two tickets for and see it in two different settings? I just like that now they're asking these older directors questions that there's no way they can answer these questions. Like, they ask Scorsese, do you like the Marvel movies? And he's like, why are you asking me this?

I'm Martin Scorsese. Isn't he on the record as not? Yeah, he doesn't like it. And then they asked John Carpenter if he liked the Barbie movie. And he was like, I don't know, man. I saw it.

It was fine. I'm an old man. I'm not supposed to get out of it. This episode is coming out after Friday the 13th. Oh, shit. Kevin, are you spooky? Are you spooky, man?

Yeah, do you do Halloween? I feel like you seem like somebody that does. I do. I'm more Christmassy than Halloweeny. Oh, you are so Christmassy. I am very Christmassy. Is the tree up yet? No, about,

well, this comes out after Friday the 13th. It's about 15 days, 14 days away. So you go mid-Novem? No, I go November 1st. Oh, November 1st. Okay. Two years ago, my wife had a bath on Halloween and came out and there was a tree up. I'd be too afraid to have a bath on Halloween.

Do you go the other way as well? Do you keep it up till March? No. I took it down last year. I think the 27th. This year, I think we're going to keep it up a little longer. i took it down last year i think the 27th this year i think we're going to keep it up a little longer keep it up to my birthday january 6th the only cool thing that's ever happened on that day is my birthday and mr bean's birthday oh nice yeah all right um but no uh my wife uh does a thing on her instagram it's private so i don't know why i'm promoting it

but you know yeah we can request access yeah it's the address you could try uh it's private so i don't know why i'm promoting it but you know yeah we can request access you could try uh it's uh boners with two z's but uh she she does a thing where uh the 30 days of horror so she watches a horror movie every day of the month other than halloween okay does a little review ski so we've been watching a lot of garbage lately because she did it last year and the people, her friends were like, oh, you should do it again this year. But we kind of, we already watched 30 horror movies.

So now we're getting into the real drags. So we watched, I still know what you did last summer. Oh yeah. Yeah. The other day. It doesn't hold up. Why?

Oh, it's not good. No, it wasn't a good movie Do the I know what you did Last summer The first one Do they all die Everybody except

Hewitt and Prince Jr. The ones you want Yeah the ones Yeah exactly Well it wasn't Michelle Gellar Michelle Gellar was in there

And She got Paul Walker I think RIP Is it Or is it Lillard No that was Scream He was Scream Everyone's in Scream Yeah She got his Walker. I think. All right. Is it, or is it Lillard?

Oh, scream. He was scream. Yeah. That latest scream. We watched that last year. Her reviews of what a chunk of shit. Now,

is this the, cause there were as bad as a movie. Yeah. It's the newest scream. This is the one in New York. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't say I saw the last of the,

cause two of them came out in the same year for some reason. Yeah. I think actually too, I'm lying that we didn't watch that for her reviews. It doesn't matter, but I don't want an email. We're going to get letters. But yeah,

it's, it's not good. Yeah. But no, we're, we're looking for, I think we're going to watch the latest child's play sometime this week. Why do horror movies get away with 10?

Like, why? Because they cost nothing. There's, like, no stars in it. They just have gory effects, and it's, like, often. You don't even need a big-name director to direct a horror movie. So it's, like, you'd be foolish. We're foolish not to be funding one right now. Yeah.

We should be. Let's make a horror. Yeah, I was thinking of which. Oh, yeah. Check out Let's make a horror. Yeah, I'm speaking of which. Oh, yeah. Check out Let's Make a Horror on CBC Podcast. I produced that and they're doing great.

It's the scariest time of year. It's the perfect time. It's about the scariest time. It's almost lasagna weather where they're going to be wrapping it up sort of closer to candy cane weather.

Tell us about your, what are your Christmas traditions? What do you do every year for christmas uh i like to go look at lights i'm a big uh light looker okay cheeky monkey i like to go look at the lights like to listen to and i love the love the christmas i love the tunes so what are you because there's a lot of contemporary Christmas music that is not. Yes. I'm more in the traditional. I know Kyle Bottom has a great bit about how Michael Bublé did Santa Baby. But in the first verse, he does it as Santa Buddy.

Yeah. And he's like, you have to, Kyle's joke that I'm doing, because he's not coming on the podcast. He moved. Yeah, but so did you. Quinnell. Yeah, you came here from the island. i'm doing because he's not coming on the podcast he moved yeah but so did you quenelle uh he uh he says that you have to be as horny as the original so it can't just be santa buddy right yes um yeah and i've got my christmas movies that i watch every year you know your uh christmas vacation okay christmas story yeah um graham's personal favorite love actually i he uh you

hipped me to that one yeah yeah i said here's the thing there's nothing gross about this and uh there's nothing upsetting in general yeah kevin to me you are perfect because on christmas everybody tells the truth yeah um uh i love christmas too i i don't like Halloween. I just don't. No. But your house has got some nice, got some nice Halloween decorations going on. I am not responsible for that. It's fine.

Like, I don't hate it. Like, it can happen. Yeah. You're not going to build it. You're not going to do it. But yeah, like, I'm not like an anti-Halloween person. Like, David's Halloween. I just, I get it out of the way so we can get to Christmas. Right.

Okay. But I'm not putting up a tree in November. Oh, I am. That's when I put up my big lasagna. There's a guy down the street who does a really big lawn for Halloween, and he's just started today. Oh, nice. And it's just like he's created already a thing with like 24 crows on it. I'm like, oh, this is going to be great.

Oh, boy, oh, boy, I can't wait. Is it a murdery yard? Well, this guy has 24 crows on it. I'm like, oh, this is going to be great. Oh boy, oh boy, I can't wait. Is it very, is it a murdery yard? Well, this guy has 24 crows. Oh. Well, this is fun.

I'm going to get out of here. God, it was right there for all of us guys. Yeah, no, because there's a guy that I used to live near

that had a lot of, a lot like horrendous gore in his yard for oh yeah for al gore leslie gore i can't think of a third horrendous gore really went off a cliff after al oh but yeah so is it a very murdery yard because i saw there was one on tiktok that i saw that this guy has a like uh the fargo you know when the person's getting pushed into the wood chipper oh really he's got like that except and then it sprays blood across his yard into a little kiddie pool that he has wired to go back to the chipper so it's just blood yes a blood fountain around the clock. There's a guy in this neighborhood who has, he's obviously like he's an engineer of some sort.

Or a tradesperson that knows how to build something like this. But it's a giant, scary body with a pumpkin head. And then flames shoot out the top of it. Oh, wow. And he just has a remote. And anytime somebody walks by. And it's fucking cool. Yeah, but I don't remember this when i was a

kid i don't know it's gotten it's gotten big there's there's uh someone in the neighborhood who does who has like four skeletons and every day is like uh they set them up in a different pose that's great so it'll be like uh you know they're giving birth in one and then they're like you know raking leaves in the next. Congratulations to the skeleton. Yeah. So you watch the movies, you put up the tree. Yeah.

You do. I put it up November 1st or Halloween Eve, depending. But then I get a lot of shit from people who have made up a thing that you don't put it up until after Remembrance Day, which that's not a thing. No, that's not. That's not a thing no that's not that's not a thing but i still every year will get messages from people why is what's the uh the male urge to message kevin oh man yeah no i masculine urge well i was before we uh started recording i was mentioning that i went on reddit to look up one of my last appearances. I'm not going to talk about the guy that wishes me dead, but

He's a dumpster donkey. A real horse abortion. Thank you guys. What a jalloon. You have permission to say horse abortion. Oh, that means a lot. But I was looking and I found

Dave's account and the thing and i look back and i found that video that you made like 10 years ago of all the 90s like um the little song oh i love that i watched that three times the other day not even on weed i don't just what is this thing i'm like when i was at CBC music, I made a, uh, super cut of like alt rock vocal hooks. Oh, okay.

So it had, you know, space hog and sure. Uh, wean. And of course, uh, you know,

uh, red hot chili peppers and Alice in Chains, all the big who, who, who's a big day. Phenomenal stuff. I'm glad that I pulled the e-brake on the show. But, yeah, no.

So back to people. People want me dead. So I guess the male urge to. My last appearance, we talked about a controversial subject that we don't need to dive into. We're not going to. But I definitely did get some death threats to my personal email, which was a first. Just remind people, what is your personal email? Does this involve what you and your buddies do up at the cabin?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But yeah. And then when I got divorced, I got a bunch of death threats from the other side of the world, which I mean, so far far everybody who's threatened to kill me was bluffing so so yeah i am not worried but i did something that i so i okay here it comes when i was getting a lot of those death threats i would just send back a picture of like my guns because i have hunting rifles

though I don't hunt because I never would because that's wrong. I will not. I love that you're so nervous. Just tell your story. I just upset folks

and I don't want to upset folks. I want to be a uniter. Yeah. They call me the great uniter. Just be the gatherer. You can be yourself.

The world, the world, the world is a vampire and you know that. That's true. But yeah, so anyway, I would send them a picture of my guns and then block them. I would always wait for them to see it and then blocked. Maybe I think perhaps you should not go on the internet anymore. No, no, no, no.

you know, not go on the internet anymore. No, no, no, no, no. I, I'm,

I'm looking forward to the day that I can just delete a lot of my social media. Yeah. What would be first? What would be first to go? X. Yeah. Delete my X account. I feel like that's the only one that I,

I like, or that I'm showing any promise. I was, I feel like it's diminishing returns there. I, I feel like. Yeah, it is. It's, it's kind of returns there. Yeah, it is.

It's kind of changed. Because we, so just like I make a joke on there, you know, once a week. But it used to be like you were like every day there years ago. Oh, for years I was. It was sort of my muse. And then now I post, like I'll post the episode every week and then I will post it on Facebook and that's it. And then I'm like, do we need to get, do we need to get ourselves a, a TikTok account

for this podcast? But then do we have to make clips? Yeah. And that's, that's a thing that I don't know. I don't know where it happened. I don't know how it started, but all of a sudden podcasts are videoing themselves. And now it's like, uh, you where it happened. I don't know how it started, but all of a sudden, podcasts are videoing themselves and now it's like, you watch it online.

I was like, no, but podcasts were the refuge of the weird looking, of the smelly. Yeah. The smelly. Well, I think they can still be. But yeah, I feel like,

who's filming it? Who's editing it? Yeah. Do we need to hire a guy? Yeah. Do we have to have a guy that's here doing that? Do I need to knock down a wall

for a guy to come shoot us? And then it's what is it like when i say shoot us i mean with a camera kevin man started to tingle in the right index finger there oh you're a righty oh you know what's weird i had this happened the other day because i always i'll read on my phone and then i was reading a book and my finger kept like subconsciously like scrolling you read a book on your phone no no like i just read stuff on my phone all the time and i'll just scroll to the next thing but then i was reading a book oh my hand was just like moving like that without even thinking about it anyways my brain is broken. So yeah, it's very cool. Um,

it is very cool. Um, and you, uh, I tried to zoom in on a picture in a book. Yeah. Done that. Did a little flap thing.

Would I, uh, yeah, I do a little flap. I'm actually doing no flap for November, but, uh, what are do in February then? What I will sometimes do is I'll be listening to the radio in the car and I'll go to rewind it.

I was going to ask. I forgot. Glad I cut you off. Yeah. I got to see you a couple weeks ago. Yeah. Here in the city. And then just before the show, we were just talking about this guy that came up to us

after the show that looked like deranged. Yeah. But I don't remember it. It's crazy. It's crazy to me that this is how many serial killers Graham encounters in his daily life that he doesn't even remember. It was two weeks ago. Yeah.

And this guy was like, came up to us after and was talking like very familiar. Like I recognize him from somewhere. Yeah. I think he might just be a comedy super fan, but a lot of times those guys are nuts. Right. And so,

uh, no, no, no, no, not podcast comedy. I mean like a local stand-up uh super fans they tend tend to be a little wobbly and he came up to us and he's like yeah this guy in the crowd told my

wife that i look like a serial killer so i went over to him and i said oh i know where you live i'm like dynamite bit yeah the masculine urge to tell a comedian the bit you did. There's like a thing about, remember the guy that played Elaine Bennis' dad on Seinfeld? Yes. And he like, he was intimidating. Everybody thought he was so crazy, and then he stole

a knife from set and had it in his coat. And he thought that that'd be a funny joke to pull it out when he was on set. Oh, everyone in real life thought he was intimidating. Yes like because where is he from he's not lawrence tierney is that his name yeah he was in uh reservoir yeah but is he like he's like a guy who is that guy right he's not an actor or but he also wasn't everyone was intimidated by him in the show as well well he's scary he scary. He was perfect casting. Yeah. Guy I'm afraid of.

But then we never met Elaine's mom and there's a picture of an old lady in her apartment that is that her mom? You know what I'm talking about? There's like a

framed picture by her couch. My God. Jerry's apartment never changed. No, never. George. Elaine's changed a lot.

Elaine's had roommates. Yeah. the one that was sleeping with kramer melanie huts was melanie hutsall the roommate i don't know melanie hutsall the redheaded guy yeah she did no because melanie hutsall was also on snl right yeah not the she's also um in a uh very uh fun scary movie uh funny games Games. Oh, so scary. Oh, so scary. But, and then Elaine got her own place

where she's like, you know, dating Putty. She's dating Ned Testacon. Yeah. Getting trapped under the stink mattress. Yeah.

Yeah. Which actually is the title of my next special. Caught under the stink mattress? The stink mattress. That's pretty good. I like that. I come up with a title for the special

and then I write a bit around it. Is there any bit about Heavy Vagrant? No, I'm just having fun. Kramer's apartment, of course, never changes. Does George's? George's started out as, I think, a normal person's apartment, and then slowly it became like a kid's. He had kid's sheets and had a weird baseball player.

There's a picture of Dennis Franz up on the wall. Yeah. In the bathroom. There's the one, there's the episode where he pretends he's new in town. Oh, yes. Yeah. And she sees he moves everything out of his apartment

and the woman comes over and says wow if you stay here more than a couple of months you're a real sucker I think the last tenant must have had monkeys that show is so funny that show is so funny

and isn't that one where it's like he packs up all his stuff and he's like wow you're so industrious and he's like yeah if you take a year of my life into a day

it sounds like a pretty busy day yeah it's decent it's decent they uh there's a thing about them in the news this week

that Seinfeld was he does a Q&A at the end of his stand up shows and somebody asked him about the ending of the series. Yeah. And he said, Oh,

there's going to be something about that coming up soon. So the speculation is, is that they're going to do a super bowl ad where they get released from prison. Oh, that would be good. The Larry David, the curb episodes of Seinfeld were not canon.

Not canon. I guess. Okay. Okay. Huh? Uh, really makes you think. Doesn't it?

Or does it? Here's what I don't consider canon in Seinfeld. Season one. Yeah. Anything in Florida. Yeah, Florida is an outlier. Anything that's strictly, well, maybe not. I was thinking strictly in George's parents' place, but that's all canon.

Any two-part episode. The one where they go to LA? Yeah. The one where it goes backwards? That's one I kind of wanted. Graham and I do this thing called the Seinfeld game in our bonus episodes. And you have to, like, the way it works is I'll tell Graham,

like, all right, in this episode, Jerry, because I'll tell Gray, I'm like, all right, in this episode, Jerry, like, you give them one character's arc for the episode and they have to figure out what the other arcs are and the way they overlap. And I was considering doing the backwards episode. I think I remember a lot about the backwards episode

because I remember thinking that was like... How would you tell it? Oh, backwards. But the way that I learn all the words backwards on a tape because I remember thinking that was like how would you tell it? oh backwards but the way that I learn all the words backwards on a tape and then I say it

to you backwards the whole time oh yeah you do do that and then listeners can play it frontwards and then it makes sense I'm David Lynch

that's what I'm saying all I remember from that is they go to a wedding in India and Kramer eats a giant lollipop that gets bigger and bigger bigger and bigger and bigger

as the episode goes on. And also George is wearing Timberland boots when he meets a woman. And does he color them black? Yeah, he puts black shoe polish on them. And Kramer is back in New York and somebody

wishes he was dead. Yeah, and not somebody. Franklin Delano or Roosevelt. Yeah, FDR or Franklin Delano something. New York and someone wishes he was dead. And not somebody. Franklin Delano or Roosevelt. Yeah, FDR, Franklin Delano something.

Anyways, we could sit here all night. What, are you, like, I only know, basically, you're the only person

I know that's like put a special. And you're the only person I know who lives on Vancouver Island. Son of a gun. i made a meme that said it has been zero days since a vancouver comedian accused me of living on the island um yeah no uh yes

yes what do you say about the special oh it's just saying that you're the only one i know that's put one out and i know that it's like it's doing well you're the only one I know that's put one out and I know that it's like it's doing well you're the only one no he's not it can't be you're the only only local

yeah okay I mean yeah Phil I guess did but I only learned that tonight when I was talking to you

yeah no I did I was planning on quitting comedy and I was like well I have this half an hour of material

that I don't just want to not put out in the world. It's so good. Yeah. And, and so Aaron from the comedy club Hacklers in Victoria, where I used to live over that way. You sure you don't live there?

Yeah. I'm positive. He, he offered to produce it. And so he, he paid for it. And Peter Carlone, past guest of the show. Yeah. He,

he filmed and edited it. And yeah, it came out. Don't say that he's going to get death threats. We can get them from me. But no, yeah. So yeah,

special came out in late July. My, my goal was to have 10,000 views by September 1st and I think we hit that in like four or five days. Whoa. Nice.

The brakes have been slammed on since. We're just hovering just below 29 or just above 29,000 right now. That's amazing. I'm hoping that

the bumper's bumper over. Oh yeah, you gotta get the bumper bump. But yeah, I had a couple that went viral on Facebook. And now that we're talking about the bumper's bumping it what how do they find it youtube it's called kevin banner kevin banner heavy favorite um favorite with a u or no u you i'm

nice rep in canada uh-huh i got made fun of by uh chad daniels a min comic, when he shared it, he added used to every word of his promotion for it. But yeah, no, and it's available on 72 audio platforms around the planet, including Napster, which I don't know where, but some country still uses that as their legitimate way to download music. Really? Yeah. Because I feel like that's what my space also became some kind of like music became musician focused after yeah after justin timberlake bought it it just is more and more justin timberlake focus yeah uh we've got the latest on why i'm not a bad guy for her pulling uh janet jackson's top off yeah and uh you know don't read britney's upcoming

memoir i'm i don't read celebrity memoirs that one i will oh yeah yeah you know don't read Britney's upcoming memoir I don't read celebrity memoirs that one I will oh yeah yeah you know that's gonna be good oh she's the best dancing around

with her fake knives she rules everybody knows that yeah we just watched the new

Timberlake movie it's really a Benicio Del Toro movie but Timberlake's in it on Netflix it's called Reptile

what a slab of shit netflix it's called reptile oh yeah what a slab of that was it's uh it's fine and then it just abruptly ends and it's just funny you want it more like timberlake acting is just not great he was good in the social network playing the guy from napster right yeah it was like myspace no it was napster um no he was in one where they kidnap a guy he's like he's uh he's a rich little spoiled boy which is i'm like the sounds we're on we're on is it alpha dog alpha dog alpha dog yeah graham graham's got his uh his genre that he likes is he also in the one where you can buy time? Yes.

And you have like a clock on your wrist that tells you how much time you have left? Yeah. That sounds like such a thing like that somebody got high and was like, what do you mean just buy time? What do you mean?

Shut up. Let me write it. Yeah, that's an adult movie. I've got to get this down. Shut up. Yeah, don't. I'm not going to figure it out. I'm just going to start writing it.

Just get Amanda Seyfried and see if she's busy. I, yeah, he, so he played the guy who started Napster, but not the guy who started Napster. There was another guy. Right. There was Sean Fanning, who like when Napster was a big thing. Right. Dakota's brother. Yeah. Sean Fanning, who like when Napster was a big thing. Right. Dakota's brother.

Yeah. And then there was a thing in the movie, the Italian job. Do you remember this terrible joke? No. Okay. So in the Italian job, you got Marky Mark Wahlberg. Yeah. He's driving around Italy, jobbing it up.

We got Charlize Theron. She's in a little mini Cooper. Yeah. Yeah. And then we've got most F is most F. Most definitely. Yeah. We've got Jason Statham.

We've got Edward Norton and we've got Seth Green. Nice. And Seth Green is his little gag in the movie is that he was the guy who came up with napster because he's like the tech guy in the crew he came up with napster and it was called that because sean fanning from napster stole the like code for it while seth green was napping and there's like a little cutaway where he like sneaks in and takes it while Seth Green is at his computer. It's also funny that they want it so tied to a very specific time period. And that they wanted to, they took Seth Green from Family Guy and they had a Family Guy style cutaway. Some of Seth Green's finest work.

Yeah, well, it seems today that all you see... Is that show still running? Yeah. Wow. Cool running. You know, it's better than ever. Yeah, I mean, sure. I don't know, but it just seems like...

Kevin, you do impressions of the characters on that show. Is that right? Well, I didn't. And then I saw, sometimes, like it's tough to figure out how to do an impression. But then you see somebody and they kind of unlock, oh, that's how that is. And I saw a Vancouver comedian, Patrick Mollia. You don't want to name them. Oh, sorry.

I saw a Vancouver comedian, Mattrick Polo. And he did the best stewie what the deuce and uh oh that's the expression i couldn't remember what it was you know i think the you did a pretty good job you came up with me lewis the my my my favorite impression is um Dice Clay's impression of Michael Madsen. What? Wow. Yeah, this is, wow, this is a deep cut. Okay, you ask me. I'm currently Andrew Dice Clay doing my Michael Madsen.

Just ask me how I'm doing. Kevin, how are you doing? No, I'm Michael Madsen. Oh, yeah, sorry. Sorry, okay, here we go. Kevin, do you still love on the island? Um, how's it going?

My old, my old Anderson. Miles Anderson. All right. There's no, it's the payoff is not going to be as good as this. So, uh,

okay. Hi, Michael Madsen. How are you doing? I can't get any of this right. Can I try? Yeah. Lying.

There's a weird thing. You were the one that showed me that this existed, that Andrew Dice Clay did a recorded set in front of an audience that didn't know he was there. Yes. And also a lot of them didn't speak English. So it was called The Day the Laughter Died. And it's a double album. And he had sold out.

Double album. Couldn't cram it all into one. And he sold out Madison square garden and didn't record his special there he went to rodney dangerfield's club dangerfield yeah and it was a i think it was like christmas week so it was very sparse audience i mean that's a better place to record it than sure yeah but i didn't announce that he was going to be there okay and just jumped on stage and didn't do any prepared material oh so he comes up with this full double album on the spot and it shows yeah um there's a bit where he talks about setting your clock an hour back or something like that.

He just keeps, he keeps going. Was it, was it an hour? Is it in an hour back? Get it. Yeah. And he just keeps saying back, get it. And then he'd say, blah, blah, blah, blah, hour back. Get it.

Do you get it? And then somebody in the crowd, like you hear people like yelling at him. They hate him. And this one guy, this one old man goes, Buddy, you're about as funny as a glass of milk. And he chases this guy and his wife out the door. That's a good line. So then years later,

he put out The Day the Laughter Dies Part 2. And I believe that album ends with him getting off stage to fight a guy in the crowd. Nice. But yeah, you don't have to tell people that i'm the one that hipped you to the dice too late yeah i would never upwards of 29,000 but less than 30 uh who are gonna listen to this yeah but yeah the uh every every year when uh it's time to set the clocks back my friend sends me a a meme, and it's Andrew Dice Clay smoking a cigarette

with his arm over his classic Diceman. Oh, yeah, that was his big move. And it says, set your clocks an hour back. Get it? Ooh. That is, like, yeah, because he was. I'm getting up there. I don't know if I can, when I'm his age.

I'm not even coming close. I'm basically got the cigarette in my ear at this point. Yeah, but I mean, you've got those forearms. Every time I do this show, I forget how juicy Graham's forearms are. Yeah, they're the juiciest ones online. He's strong to the finish because he eats his spinach. That's right. And I take steroids. That's the other part of it.

Just in my arms. Yeah. I inject them into my butt, but they go straight to my arms. A lifetime on the hips. So you got your extra credit at Alpha School. That's right we should watch alpha dog after this yeah eat some alphagettis yeah yes yeah uh dave what's going on with you man well uh it's hockey season that's what's going on with me hockey's back in three ways first we're recording this on opening night for the Vancouver Canucks Yeah

Second, my hockey season is back, I'm playing hockey again You're back already? I'm back on the ice Wow And third, for the first time, this used to be a thing I did every year But for the first time since 2019, I think I bought the new EA Sports NHL game Oh, okay.

And I'm open to questions. Okay. How deep into the controls do you get? Because sometimes I watch... No, I don't know any of the new moves. Because I watch some guys playing the game, and I'm like, it wouldn't be at all fun to play against them because they know all these little extra dangles.

Yeah. No, I... Like extra moves that you can do. Yeah. But it's like hitting, like you got to hit like six buttons to get this little, little deke. Little deke.

So I'm, I got, it was my favorite show and I was like, yeah, I've been told I have a little deke. Um, I've got, I was laying deke.

It's a sort of like a, they describe it like a cable. Like, Oh, like big big thick industrial cable no no the type you have in your house um but uh the uh um yeah so uh no i don't know any of the little deeks i have like an old, I don't have the new generation of consoles. So I'm still playing Xbox One. Is, they're compatible with the new games?

Yeah, they still put them out. Well, that's nice. And I was. They're no Apple, I guess. Because I was like, I was like, oh, should I upgrade my system to buy one game? And then I thought, oh, no, I mostly play the thing where you pretend you're a general manager and you simulate all the games. So that's going to be a no. In your hockey squadron, what position are you? I am not good, so I play left wing.

Left wing, okay. So the best players play defense or center. Okay, and then right wing, left wing. Left wing, okay. So the best players play defense or center. Okay, and then right wing, left wing. Right wing or left wing is for, you know, us. For meat on the floor kind of thing. Yeah, for the little deeks. Probably you little deeks out there. Yeah.

So yeah, you know, we're four or five games in, and I'm getting worse. My one skill, my one thing was that I'm fast. Yeah. That's right. But I feel like the more I play, more fast guys join up and are now faster than me. Well, that's the thing. You've put a target on your back by being the fastest draw on the way. I was never the fastest.

But I was fast. You're fast. But then you give me the thing. You've put a target on your back by being the fastest draw on the way. I was never the fastest. But I was fast. You're fast. But then you give me the puck. No, no, time to panic. I'm a big panicker. That's nine-tenths of the game. Yeah, panicking is really... It keeps you sharp.

Yeah, it's true. It really gets the heart rate up. So, yeah, any more questions about hockey the vancouver canucks of course uh i were one one uh we watched about six minutes of the first game they're up one nothing but i can only imagine the wheels have fallen off now since been mathematically eliminated organization that i love um but yeah, I'm very excited. Really just the coolest game on ice. Yeah, that's true.

Beat it curling and figure skating and speed skating. And I think I've covered the game. Can you skate? Yes, but not backwards. I can skate forwards. I can go on a... So just say no. Yeah, no.

It's a two-way thing. Oh, wait. do you mean with a chair without a chair my niece started figure skating and what they do is they give you they there's like a harness that they put you in so you can do jumps without like hurting yourself sweet can i rent one of them i honestly can't imagine how big this harness has to be like does it have to go across the entire ice and you have the ice to yourself? That sounds awesome. Or does it go to the rafters?

I think it's on a, like a pulley system. Because I think I, now that you mentioned that, I think I remember that from my youth. Seeing the, at the Souk Arena, they'd have like a cable going across. The Souk Arena? Yeah, Souk. Oh, the arena. Where the arena? I thought it was like a. Like across. And the Souk Arena? Yeah, Souk. Oh, the arena. Where's the arena? I thought it was like a.

Like some kind of Italian. Yeah, it says Tom Segura, ballerina. Oh, son of a bitch. Were you an athlete? Did you play hockey? Wow. Athlete's a stretch. I definitely played hockey.

I played hockey, lacrosse, and fast pitch softball growing up. Oh, wow. He played hockey. I played hockey, lacrosse, and fast pitch softball growing up. Oh, wow. So I was a goalie, and then I had a coach that I, it was the opposite, that I wished death on him. Most coaches wish death on me.

I quit playing for a year, and then I came back and I played forward. I played left wing, which, as Dave was saying, is where the dog shit guys play. But i had a couple of good line mates and i and i had a really great uh season and then after that it was directly downhill so the last time i played though i was uh late 20s there was a men's league in souk oh yeah at the zuccarina still goalie i was i became a goalie again after all those years. So then, yeah, I went back to goal.

Really? My parents just dropped off. My gear has been in their garage for just over a decade. Oh, did you cop a whiff of it? So now it's in my garage. I did open the bag. It smelled great.

I'm breaking fat guy stereotypes. Oh, okay. I smell fantastic. I've known you since. I'm great to sit stereotypes. I smell fantastic. I've known you. I'm great. I'm talking about a point. I wasn't making a fat guy joke. I was making 10 year old hockey gear.

It's fine. But I, uh, you know, I have my road that I traveled on. Um, yeah, no,

I, the thing that was a bummer is that, cause I was like, Oh, maybe there'll be a, like a low level men's league in Chilliwack that I can join. Cause we out in the whack now and uh but my my skates were rusty blades so i'm like well you can get new blades yeah but i'm i got i gotta buy bullets for my hunting that's true all right wait a minute that's what you do um no they make a little that's a magic ball they make milkshakes in them

they go up to the cabin i've got this movies on vhs yeah and uh guys i'm i'm sneaking a little bit of kale into mine it's mostly yeah it's a very um made for tv products thing so we go up there magic bullet we set it and forget it yes you do a do a George Foreman grill. The George Foreman grill has the greatest clip ever because he improvised in the infomercial. He improvised and the woman that was the host was not prepared. She was not quick on her toes. And she goes, oh, I wish you all had smell-o-vision. And he goes, I already got smell-o-vision. And she goes, oh, you do?

Woo! goes i already got smell-o-vision and she goes oh you do those hosts are so that's such a weird job i know but it would be the best because you get your you're there for one day yeah you shoot this thing it replays every sunday afternoon for 15 years but like imagine like getting the envelope okay your script's scripts in here. And what is it going to be? Oh, a grill. So much fun. So I saw this thing, uh,

cause I still have cable TV and I was watching the other day and I saw that there was something caught on called, uh, the Larry King prostate report. Extra, extra. Hmm. But is Larry Kingry king dead yes he is but they still have it's like if george foreman died and they were still selling the grill so what's what is this thing something i don't know it was some kind of prostate product maybe a butt plug Omaha to rest good I just said that

they uh there was a infomercial I think it was for the magic bullet and they had like that could be a butt plug

the gimmick was is that everybody was at a house party and they had woken up in the morning and they're all like hung over and so the guy's like

oh I'll make you breakfast and blah blah blah oh yes and then they're like he goes you could even make frozen drinks and then this lady who is dressed up to be playing somebody 20 years older than she is comes out with like a cigarette dangling off her lip she said somebody say something about frozen drinks and everyone's like oh hazel then that is the weirdest infomercial because they do have actors playing characters i've this is something i was not privy to this do you want do you want scrambled eggs well i'll put them in a magic bully and he puts a little bit of ham in there oh yeah yeah making you an omelet

you know the uh very good apparently you've heard this i I'm sure. Hulk Hogan's a renowned liar. Yes. But he says that he was offered the grill for a grill. And he opened Pasta Mania instead. Yeah. Which is still America's favorite. This was in between when he was asked to play Bass and Metallica. Yes.

Endervana. There are multiple websites that have documented all of his lies. And it's one of my favorite things in the world. He, well stretch, but I enjoyed a great deal. One of them is he said that one year he lived 400 days. Because he traveled to Japan to do so many shows back and forth that he crossed the international

dateline so many times that he lived 400 days that year because of all of his travel. Checks out. Yeah. He also said that Elvis Presley. He crossed the dateline more than Jane Pauly. Stoned Phillips. Jesus. He also said that Elvis Presley was a big hulk hogan fan but uh elvis presley died before hulk

hogan was a professional yeah he's like yeah he goes the king used to come see me in memphis and he would shake my hand he'd always be oh boy and he would tell these detailed stories about how much elvis loved him and things elvis told did he just keep saying the king so it's jerry the king baller maybe i was um or macho king randy savage macho king randy savage he was a macho king for a while yeah you were crowned um i was uh uh just uh thinking for no reason today about plus 15s in calgary sure which are the big kind of bridges between buildings. Yeah. Which are like 15 feet up.

Yeah. And I, I thought, Oh, they, they became plus 15s because they were 15 feet high and they knew they were 15 feet high because, uh,

George Marazon and Manute Bull were on each other's shoulders building them. And, uh, and then I was thinking about George Marazonazon and how he played andre the giant in my giant yeah basically basically then they couldn't say andre the giant they couldn't okay it has i have either seen my giant i have seen part of it on a plane because i was i was thinking maybe i should watch my giant and has there ever been a wrestling biopic about a, like about an actual living wrestler? Not Mickey Rooney.

Mickey Rooney. One that's coming out, uh, just before Christmas about the Von Erich family. Oh yeah. Called Iron Claw. That will be a. Oh,

I guess fighting with my family as well. Oh yeah. Yeah. But yeah, that'll be a super bummer of a movie, but, um but every wrestling movie but it's like two days before Christmas

it's like well that's what I'll be doing yeah well I can't go I'm shooting my special at Rodney Dangerfield's club

I haven't written a word of it yet you don't need to just see the only word I've written is back okay

the way you said back reminds me. The way he got into the hour back thing. Is it about red hour back? Is he talking... He starts talking about hunchbacks. And he goes, what's the deal with these hunchbacks? And it's like, that's... Everyone relates.

He's like, you're trying to get off the bus, and it's like, move, bad back. And it's like, what is happening? what's the deal with these hunchbacks excuse me every time i'm in notre dame they're fucking everywhere he was he was like it should have been called the day andrew silverstein grasped at straws because he has one bit on there i I know we're going back and we'll get on. No, no. What's the deal with multiple sclerosis?

Doesn't anybody just have one? We've all played with that joke. Well played with words a bit. Oh Lord. God, he's, he's one of the best. Yeah. Um, what's the all-time greats. Yeah.

What's the deal with? No, I'm not going to bother. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Graham, what's going on with you? I, this past week, my uncle and aunt, who live in Northern Ireland. Oh, I tell you to tell her. Exactly. They would appreciate that.

They came to Canada just like a cruise out east went to Nova Scotia went to Quebec and then went to my parents house in Calgary so I flew out

to go see them because I haven't seen them in like almost close to a decade and that was a lot of fun and both of the nights

I was there drank a lot of alcohol and what were they drinking? did they bring some of their own Irish whiskey? Northern Irish whiskey? I believe we were drinking Kirkland whiskey.

Really? Yeah. From Costco? From Costco, yeah. And then... They said, oh, it's basically the same. They're also Popeye. But one of the nights

my uncle boy I need to google Popeye ethnicity if Stewie Griffin was Irish it might sound a little something like this top of the morning Lewis top of the deuce

top of the deuce. Top of the deuce. Do people from Northern Ireland have different sayings? They have different accents. Noi. Yeah. Nice. Anyways, one of the nights they went to bed early and my parents and i it made me think

of it when you said about your hockey bag my parents are always trying to offload anything about every time i come over there grab this take this home take this home yeah take some chili take there's always something i always come home with some kind of artifact and we were going through uh a closet and my parents found their wedding clothes they were hanging they hadn't take these great yeah here we're sick of having these but they hadn't had them on since their wedding day because i mean why would you i guess wedding cosplay or perhaps the kirkland whiskey played into what happened next. Exactly.

It is as you may think. My mom is small enough to fit into her dress. She declined to try it on. But my dad, oh, he got into his old suit. Yeah. And he's skinny. Like, he's always, he's not like skinny. He's athletic. But I doubt that he's gained any weight since then.

Here comes the grooms. Skinny as a broom. But you know what? He did it. He did it. Yeah. yeah got the button in place got the fly up was it uh like uh ridiculously um 70s no it was big lapel but that was it it wasn't my uncle he has his wedding pictures like frilly tuxedo white or blue jacket and all that kind of stuff big mustache i was speaking of the uh i was talking about movies i want to show my kids is like i was thinking about dumb and dumber and they have those suits and is there there's got to be something in dumb and dumber that it's like inappropriate for children but i could only think of like very funny things that my kids would love the birds

decapitation maybe headlights what's the headlight lauren holly takes her shirt off and then it's just the flashing headlights of a truck that's about to kill them oh those guys were good they were on such a hot streak those fairly i recently saw online a uh an alternate ending to dumb and dumber have you were you aware this existed no it's not as good as them getting on the bus with the hawaiian tropic models they just get jobs at the hotel like you're hired okay the end yeah roll the credits um graham do you think you could still fit into your wedding clothes? No, and that was only a couple months ago. I feel if I really hunkered down, I could probably do it.

But even the suspenders, I think, are going to be frayed. I was suspended. When I got divorced, we did a divorce show in Vancouver, and Erica Sigurdsson... And did you do it with your ex? She was booked but she bailed Oh that does ring a bell Erica Sigurdsson said I've never

I've never known a couple to get divorced while the dress I wore to their wedding was still in style Yeah so it's fun to get drunk

with your parents How long were you married? We decided to split two years to the day. So now I'm on my new marriage. I've already passed my old record. Nice. Good for you. Oh, I forgot to tell you.

I'm going to kill you. Oh, shit. Yeah, you read every internet comment. Yeah. No, I'm just really bad at email. I hope this email finds you well. I've been bogged down with so much. XOX email. I hope this email finds you well. I've been bogged down with so much. XOXO.

I hope this email finds you well, but not for long. Yeah. So, yeah, I got drunk with my parents and we went through some old stuff. It was great. I found a letter that somebody wrote to me when I was like 16. Who? My friend Christina, who still lives here and still is here all the time. I have a letter that she wrote to me.

Why were you writing letters? I was in the war, and she was on the home front. Did you live in the same city? Yeah. Oh. It's fun to get a letter. Yeah, let's try out stamps. Let's see how stamps work.

Yeah, maybe that's her thing. I have my suit I got married in, and I i've worn it boy when's the last funeral i went to do you still wear shoes that say like just married on the oh god we gotta cut the cans off the back of my car off the back of your suit on uh on my most recent wedding day we were driving home and we had a covet wedding so there's only 10 people in the house nice day, we were driving home and we had a COVID wedding. So there was only 10 people in the house. Nice. We were driving home and her cousin plugged in the iPod and she said, whatever song comes up next is going to describe, it sets the mood.

This is what your marriage is going to be all about. Oh, can we guess? Put it on the shuffle. Please guess. It was the most perfect. What your marriage is is gonna be all about this is there's too many this is too yeah there's too many for me and i can't think of anything that's fun except like yeah marriage is gonna be about incense and peppermint that's pretty good

that's pretty good what the fuck does that mean, she shook me all night long is my guess. Well, it was, I am a man of constant sorrow. Oh, brother, where art thou? With soggy bottom boys? Well, there you go. Born on a good side. Oh, and we laughed. Oh, we laughed.

We laughed. Do we want to move on to some overheard? Why not? Hi, I'm Bikram Chatterjee, the CEO of Maximum Fun, and I'm here with my fellow worker owner. Marissa Flaxbart, producer. This week for Co-Optober, we'll be highlighting other co-ops who work in the arts. The past few years have been challenging for all kinds of creative industries. We at MaxFun believe that co-ops are better suited to meet these challenges, and there

are a lot of other companies who feel the same way. So all this week on our social media and website, we'll be sharing interviews with some of our fellow co-ops. And head to our YouTube channel, Friday, October 20th, where I'll be talking with worker owners from Defector and Stoxy about their co-ops and why the model works for them. And next week is volunteer week. Learn how you can participate in that and get details on exclusive merch, our live streams, and other co-October happenings at MaximumFun.org slash co-October. That's C-O-O-P-T-O-B-E-R. All right, class.

Tomorrow's exam will cover the science of perfect pitch, the history of pride flags, and speedrunning video games. Any questions? Ah, yes. You in the back. Uh, what is this? It's the podcast Let's Learn Everything. Where we learn about science and a bit of everything else.

My name's Tom. I study cognitive and computer science, but I'll also be your teacher for intermediate emojis. My name's Caroline, and I did my master's in biodiversity conservation, and I'll be teaching you intro to things the British Museum stole. My name's Ella. I did a PhD in stem cell biology,

so obviously I'll be teaching you the history of fan fiction. Class meets every other Thursday on Maximum Fun. So do I still get credit for this no obviously not no it's a podcast overheard overheards when you hear them we want them and uh we always like to start with the guests kevin banner do you have an overheard? I do. This summer, this past summer, I was at a grocery store in my hometown of Chilliwack on the mainland of British Columbia. Okay, so you were just visiting.

And I heard a guy behind me, he was talking on his phone and I'm going to paraphrase some of it but I got the final part 100% but he was talking to somebody and he was explaining to them why he might not be able to buy the things that they were asking him to buy

because he's like I'll try but I'm not wearing shoes and I look down and sure enough he was not wearing shoes and if I was going

to paint a mental picture for you in the bumpers he was about 50 kind of shaggy white hair saddle leather complexion yes very jimmy like he was very sad when jimmy buffett did it and if he had not said i'm not wearing shoes nobody would have noticed because it looked like he had been walking in in mud or tar like very very horrible looking

feet and uh so i looked down sure enough and so he's explaining to them he goes uh but i'm not wearing shoes yeah yeah the car so they're saying where are your shoes they may not let me buy stuff. Yeah, you know, no shirt, no shoes. Exactly. So you've seen the sign, yeah. That's like Bob Newhart kind of level of joke, yeah. Oh, that's great. That is great.

Dave, do you have an over? Mine is from the radio. And it is, I was listening to CBC Radio 2. That's where they play the music. Yeah. And they like to give a little, like to talk up the next song that they're going to play in a way that not every radio station does. Most radio stations are just like, here's a song.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or they'll be talking about whatever else and then music starts playing. But they were talking about, this next one is, you know, it's, how great is it if you're, to have your best friend also be the person that you're married to and uh this next one

was written by john deacon about his wife and the way that they said they said the song they didn't separate the title of the the artist from the title of the song uh so coming up right now queen you're my best friend that's like first day on the job mistake the uh the kids these days with the streaming will never know the joy that we had of a friend burning you a cd and this the like the radio radio buildup is still on some of the songs. And I remember when ACDC put out their first new song in years, it was called stiff upper lip. So my buddy got it from like the English channel that played it the first

time. The English channel. That's the, the body of water. That's where the little train goes underwater. But it's, so I remember it. So anytime I hear the song now, if it comes up on shuffle, I think of it as like, Secret Sam says the pop club dot com Donna Hugh. Another five callers will have a crack at it.

Well, the boys are back. Here they are. Fuck, I love that. But yeah, I don't know what he said. Something like Secret Sam says the pup club dot com. Donna Hugh. Another five callers will have a crack at it. The boys are back.

I had awesome. The version I had of Rihanna's SOS had someone like receiving an email or like a text message in the during the dub like whenever they had burned the file it was like just a little came up in the middle of the song and but it worked so i was like it's part of the song yeah making a it was uh it was a different time you're right the kids are never gonna they they're just gonna have to pay every month to listen to their songs for the end of time. Graham? My overheard. Please.

An overseen. A couple. You know how it seems like the big thing online where they make a display out of boxes of pop. So like, you know, Cokes or... In like a grocery store. In a grocery store. So like one that you would see Is like Mario Kind of the pixelated Mario And a lot of

You know this time of year You would expect A pumpkin Or you know They do Ghost Yeah exactly Or Patrick Swayze

Yeah Sure And This year You couldn't miss it As far as I could tell Was Ghostbuster symbol But you did have to be From a certain vantage point to take it in.

And there were two ladies looking at it. And the one was saying, I still don't see it. So they thought maybe going in for a closer look was the way. Was this in a grocery store? It was in a grocery store. Wow. Yeah. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

Do, do, do, do, do, do. Nice. yeah there was once on our friend Jesse Thorne's show Bullseye he had Huey Lewis on and he was interviewing him and playing clips and at one point he played I Want A New Drug which is

well it's what Ghostbusters ripped off and they started playing I Want a New Drug, which is what Ghostbusters ripped off. And they started playing I Want a New Drug and Huey Lewis goes, oh, it sounds like Ghostbusters. Poor Huey Lewis has lost his voice. Yeah. And no longer sings. Oh, I thought it was his hearing. Oh, maybe it is his hearing. I thought it was.

Oh, maybe he can't hear the jams anymore. Well, it's the kind of thing Where he has good days And bad days But he doesn't Know when they're coming So he can't Can't tour Can't tour

He can't rehearse Fuck But he can wear Transitions lenses We also have overheard Sent in to us From people all over the world If you want to send in to us

Send it in to SPY At Maximumfun.org. This is a tricky part of the show. Now that we're in studio, we haven't been in studio much. Yeah, and I've got to hold my phone enough away from the mic so that it doesn't go... I don't think it interferes

with the mic. I think it interferes with the headphones. So you can get your mouth... Oh, I can. Okay. Yeah. Oh, if it just interferes... Yeah, then I don't mind that. It's just the headphones also this is i think our first evening in studio record since before the pandemic and probably even before that like it's you know the fact that we're doing a nighttime one was like that's what i'm doing tonight yeah yeah and i have to line up a tgif or whatever what does that mean i put on

family matters then i put on full house, then I put on Full House, and then I put on Step by Step. Oh, you do your own TGIF. Yeah, I built my own TGIF. Do you go back through, like, do you historically, do you go to a website that tells you which TGIF? Yeah, yeah, yeah, and sometimes I do that. Sometimes I just do my dream lineup,

which is four episodes of Family Matters. What's your saddest memory of TGIF? For me, it's going to my grandma's house, where she was quite old and watching TGIF. Thinking back later, like, oh, that poor old lady had to sit through me watching the episode of Family Matters where Steve Urkel gets a chance to play on the basketball team and he's so good. No, that's probably the last thing she thought of before she passed away. No, she's still around. Oh, she is?

Ask her about it. She's 130. Now, if you want to send in an overheard to us, spy at maximumfun.org. This is from John in Connecticut. It was at the Power Trip Music Festival last night. Woo! Yeah. All right, sams.com. The boys are back. Now the five colors will have a crack at it. It was at the Power Trip Music Festival last night. All right, sams.com, the boys

are back. Now the five colors will have a crack at it. Guns and Roses were on stage and someone behind me said, is it just me or does Axl Rose look like Mike Myers playing Axl Rose in a Guns and Roses biopic? You almost nailed it.

Almost. Biopic. Biopic. Are you... biopic you almost nailed it almost biopic biopic yeah um are you uh no that guy stole that from somewhere

I maybe the guy the guy that said it probably stole it from somewhere yeah this guy's been

memeing hard on the classic rock what's the point of memeing if you can't bring it into the real world

you know you can show it somebody on your phone or you can reenact it and then it's the couple and the one guy's looking back and it says communism and he says uh delta airlines and she's saying yeah i memed my jeans um what are you gonna go see guns and roses when they're here in the next few days? No, I saw them here the last tour, and I feel like that's... Oh, come on.

I've got to see what they have on offer. It's great. It was a lot of fun. Slash, still got it. Yeah. Still got it. Oh, I got a good Guns N' Roses meme. Does he still got it?

Yeah, he's pretty good. He's not hitting the upper register. Because I saw somebody that was like, once you've heard this, you can't unsee it. And they say that he sounds like the old perverted guy from Family Guy. Hey there, Muscley Owls. Okay. Let me take you down to the paradise. That's the best impression of the show, I think.

Yeah, yeah. Can I make a joke about Guns N' Roses memes? Yeah. M-m-m-m-m-m-m-memes? Memes? It was worth the wait. i'm glad you asked uh this next one comes from deborah in cheney washington my son was sitting on the other end of the couch and suddenly asked if our cat was okay i cautiously asked him why he said it and it was because the cat had just had a sneezing fit and I said that was me. What is so wrong

with the cat? Are you okay then, mom? No. Meow. Yeah, that's true. The only thing

they don't mention is that his mom is a cat. Yeah. But it wasn't the cat. It was her. It's a mom cat.

Kevin, did you see the movie Cats? I did not. Oh, you gotta see it. Oh, yeah. That's movie Cats? I did not. Oh, you got to see it. Oh, yeah. That's a Christmastime watch for sure.

Oh, I know. You know what? Sneak it into the 30 Days of Horror. Yeah, I have zero interest. But I appreciate your interest in my interest in it. Okay. Kevin's checked out. I saw it with. This one beer went to my head. I saw it with this one beer went to my head

I saw it with family as a gag and then it was like I'm really locked into this gag for two hours and there's a scene

where Jennifer Hudson playing what is it the lead cat oh yeah Aloysius memory

yeah Jennifer Hudson is playing yeah and there's a big booger. Yeah. My mom was so, she was like, they put that there. Like, that wasn't CGI, like, snot coming out of her nose.

Why? Are you sure? Exactly. Because she's so sad. She's having a memory. Alice Susan Boyle. Oh, yeah. Susan Boyle was in it.

Yeah. Why didn't she make it? The frumpy cat that everybody falls in love with. Who's the one who does the dance? The railway cat. Oh, my God. Can you name any other of the cats? Mr. Mistoffelees.

Yeah. Rum Tum Tugger. Rum Tum Tugger. Well, it's Mr. Mistoffelees. He's the magical cat. Yeah. And what's the magical cat. Yeah. And, uh, uh, oh, what's the one, uh, that Idris Elba played?

Hmm. Hmm. We used to know these. This used to be like, we're losing our minds, and now we know, we don't know any of the cats. Railway cat from cat. From cat. This is my Google search. It's from cat from cat this is my google search it's from cat get it what is it skimble shanks skimble shank he was very good in the movie the um and kind of kind of like big dress sexy cat of course your your former brother-in-law.

Kingdress, right? He's a great guy. Wonderful. Yeah, we wish him the best. He's a big listener of the show. Always has been.

Him and Jeff Goldblum have listening parties. Yeah. The last one comes from Tim. Parts unknown. Also a big listener of the show.

Oh, has anybody ever heard him do that? But with, uh, uh, what do you call it? When you like enhance somebody's voice, they used to do it like a lot in rap songs.

Auto tune. Auto tune. Uh, I feel like that would be good. I feel like that would be good. Existing. No, I just feel like it could be.

Um, this one comes from tim sitting on a patio overlooking a bus stop on a summer evening bus stop stops and doors open and i heard a woman's voice not the driver yelling get off the bus get off the bus get off the bus get off the bus get you and your shitty metallica t-shirt off the bus i'm talking to you exactly i'm talking to you guy i went to high school with yeah did you have uh did you have in your high school the heavy metal fan that wore basically the same shirt every day maybe had a switch between uh mega death metallica yeah yeah for sure and had a long sleeve t-shirt underneath it yeah kind of the what's his name from uh jim parsons

um there were yeah i didn't really know what drugs were and so i didn't know that these guys were also the huge stoners yeah yeah yeah uh huge stoners and just kind of like but they uh i feel like they made their way i knew what drugs were but i didn't realize how fun they were but like uh how evident uh like how obvious the people doing drugs were. Yeah. I got teamed up with a guy in probably grade 11 for a chemistry project. And man, oh man, he was like the living, he was like Beavis. Like he was exactly like Beavis.

He was like a true, I feel like that was his whole personality was being Beavis. And we passed. No thanks to him. He didn't learn a goddamn thing i watched some of the new beavis and buttheads uh because there are new beavis and buttheads because i was like my kids were looking at your kids no they were looking at like olivia rodrigo videos okay and there was one there was an olivia rodrigo video on the new beavis and butthead ah And I was like, oh, still good. Is it still funny?

Yeah. Oh, okay, great. Oh, I'm glad to hear that. Are you going to watch the new Frasier Crane? I was just going to say, anybody got plans? I saw the trailer, and it looks like a slab of shit. A real dumpster donkey. He's trying to move in with his son back in Boston,

and his brother is not there. There's no Roz. Yeah. I thought Roz was there. There's no Daphne. Roz is going to make a guest appearance. Is he going to do the Samantha? Yeah.

Is he going to do a phone call? I paid him. For a million dollars? So? You get the costume designer back. So my, uh, my wife is really great at asking.

She asked a lot of questions. Like I've learned things from people that have been in my life forever that I never would have thought to ask. Yeah. And she asked my dad, we're sitting there watching Frazier and she goes, Mike, who do you like better?

Would you, who would you rather, uh, date Roz or Daphne? And my dad goes, Mike, who do you like better? Who would you rather date? Roz or Daphne? And my dad goes, Roz. She's hornier. She is hornier. She was in... If you ask me, every successful

sitcom has to have a dumb character, a horny character. Whoever's the main character doesn't matter. And somebody that's going to get pregnant in season six okay so so we got main main dumb horny and pregnant pregnant these are the four elements you need in any sitcom okay so let's four horsemen of the apocalypse so we're let's say on friends uh dumb joey and phoebe Yeah. Horny Joey.

Main character. Pregnant Phoebe. Pregnant Phoebe. And pregnant Rachel. Oh, yeah. And main character. Well, it's got to be Ross. It's got to be Ross.

Sorry, Chandler, you didn't make the cut. Cheers. Main character. Sam. Dumb Woody or Coach. Yeah, Woody or Coach. Horny. Cliff. Cliff.

Was there a horny character on it? There was that French guy who wanted to steal Kelly. What did I say? Is there a horny character at Cheers? Sam. Sam. Yeah, Sam. But he's mad. We already burned him on Maine.

Do we need Maine character? Maybe not. Not for this show. If we're just going horny and dumb. And pregnant? Oh, Rio Perlman oh sure pregnant several times okay seinfeld main character jerry yeah dumb character you can make a case that it's either george or kramer yeah uh horny i feel like oh who's the hornier of george Kramer? Or Seinfeld himself. Or Elaine.

Elaine, yeah. Seinfeld was pretty horny. He had a new gal every couple episodes. None of them are expressly horny. Yeah, that's right. So you're a big fan. But no, in that case, all four of them are the horny. You still need that element to the show.

But then who's pregnant? Elaine gets pregnant in real life. In real life, and they hide it. all four of them are the horny though you still need that element who's pregnant elaine gets pregnant kind of real life in real life and they hide it yeah that still counts that was good they didn't write it in no which i think a lot of times they do because it's much easier when uh julie louis dreyfus was on uh comedians and cars she said that at one point during when she was actually pregnant jerry said to her he's like why don't we just write the season where Elaine's fat? And she burst into tears because she was pregnant. And she said, you know what?

Thinking back, we should have done it. Yeah. Golden Girls. I mean, that's easy. Except for pregnant. Yes. That is a tough one for pregnant. But you can extrapolate that Sophia at one point was pregnant.

Can I change main to mean? Interesting. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. a tough one for pregnant but you can extrapolate that sophia at one point was pregnant can i change main to mean uh yeah that's true yeah mean character because mean is dorothy and sophia oh so fun dom is rose and horny is bland yeah but then mean is also ria perlman mean is um boy i feel like jerry's mean on sign. Yeah, certainly Regina George. In addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. If you want to call us, our phone number is

1-844-779-7631. That's one. SpyPod 1, like these people have. Hey guys, this is John calling in from Red Deer I was at a hot air balloon festival this week and at the beginning they were introducing all the pilots and the balloons they were going to be piloting and one guy came up

and they introduced them and said you he'll be in the Yoda balloon the balloon shaped like the Yoda head and he kind of came to the front of the stage and said Yoda don't even try and everybody was like looking around we didn't get it and then somebody whispered to him and he came back up and said do or do not

there is no try do not even try Yoda don't even try Yoda don't even try Yoda don't go there yeah don't even try what am I supposed to say

yeah you got this Yoda's a real alpha don't even try good try throw him like a rag doll just for a try that's great everything about this you're at a balloon festival Good try. Throw him like a rag doll just for a try.

That's great. You're at a balloon festival. Hot air balloon festival. We've all been to, I go to multiple a year. I only go to the one in Red Deer, so it's funny. I have been to them as a kid. Calgary had a big one. Big one, if you know what I'm saying.

A couple years. Big cable. Yeah, it's not that small, said the guy. That was off air. A big cable. Yeah, it's not that small. That was all fair. Here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham and guests. This is Brent. Somewhere in between St. Louis

and that's St. Louis, sorry. And Kansas City had been driving for like 10 hours at this point. But this is an overseen. I saw a barbershop with the name Head Edit. No friggin' way. Head Edit.

Pretty good. Yeah. I thought he said it was a barbershop. It's dry sands. Yeah. She does have shops in the basement of her house

yeah she famously has a mall in her house yeah why does everybody make fun of all the things that uh you know Wacko Jacko did

when Streisand's you know shopping in her own house let's make fun of Streisand from here on out um yeah well cause

Wacko Jacko was a criminal yeah oh that's true oh but he never said he was oh that's true Yeah, well, because Matt Wacojago was a criminal. Yeah, oh, that's true. Oh, but he never said he was. Oh, that's true. It's his word against everybody else's word. Yeah, he never admitted it, so he's got the upper hand.

He's off the hook. How did this caller, it was very weird the way he pronounced St. Louis, but it wasn't wrong. St. Louis? No, he said St. Louise. Yeah, which is probably how it was pronounced at some point. No. Well, it's not St. Louis would be the pronunciation. St. Louis? St. Louis.

St. Louis. Or did he say the woman's name Louise? No, he didn't say Louise. Well, that's what you said. Hey, Dave and Graham and guests. This is Brent. Somewhere in between St. Louis and... St. Louis?

St. Louis. So there you go. I guess that answers that. And your final phone call. God, things are so awkward with Kevin here. No! Hey, Dave and Graham, this is Josh from Vancouver.

I have an overheard for you. So last night I went and saw a band called Fever Dogs. Is this Josh Stubbs? And Fever Dogs, they're like a bunch of young guys,

but they do like classic rock, like glam rock kind of stuff. Kind of like if Greta Van Fleet was really into Thin Lizzy instead of Zeppelin.

So anyways, I recommend them a lot. They're great. But I saw them at the show and then the guitarist was playing and he's got big, long, black poodle-permed hair and a big, white

thin jumpsuit and huge platform shoes. The guy next to me screams out top of his lungs. He goes, You're the next Tyler Perry! And then about 10 seconds later he went,

I meant Steven Tyler. Anyways, thanks a lot. Have a good time. See you guys. Bye. She's Mattia,

everybody. Good afternoon. That's still a weird thing to say. You're the next Steven Perry. Tyler, Steven Tyler. Steven Tyler, while he's still alive? Yeah, well, You're the next Stephen Perry, Tyler, Stephen Tyler.

While he's still alive? Yeah. Well, yeah, but also like just say woo. Yeah. That's Josh Stubbs and his wife, Nikki. We think that's Josh Stubbs. I think that is Josh Stubbs. And only because him and her got jobs as security guards so they could go watch concerts for

free. Nice. And, uh, if anything goes down, they, uh, vanish.

There's any trouble there out of there. Like, there's nothing going down at concerts. Nah, I guess I paid $400 for this ticket. I'm not going to get kicked out, but you know, you never know when I just,

uh, show's going to turn into Woodstock 99, you know, you never know when a show's going to turn into Woodstock 99, you know, if you're charging too much for pretzels or something. Yeah, it was too much for pretzels. The great pretzel riot of 1999. Do you remember that as part of the story? Like, they broke into a truck that was just filled with

frozen pretzels and they were throwing them out to the ground. No, I only saw three documentaries about that. I haven't, I guess I haven't seen the full story. They killed Whitey Ford with the pretzels. Whitey is down. They'll call him Whitey Whackers. Whackers.

Okay, who's horny on The Simpsons? Who's the horniest character on The Simpsons? I mean, dumb is Homer. Maine is Bart. Mean is... Marge isn't mean. No. He's going to be kind of mean.

Mr. Burns is mean. Mr. Burns is mean. Horny is... Moe? No, is Moe... Moe. No, what's her name? Mrs. Krabappel.

Oh, sure. Or, you know, Quagmire. Quagmire is very short, yeah. And pregnant. Marge in the flashback episodes. This brings us to the end of this here episode. Kevin. Yes.

Thank you so much for being our guest. Thank you for having me. I look forward to reading all of the super positive comments on Reddit. Well, now people are going to go the other way. People are going to be like, you know, we've been too hard on this guy. I don't think they will. Well, we'll see. We'll have to, we'll put it out into the public court.

You know what? We just got to keep this guy away from our pet deer. Your special. Just so you know, all that venison you're eating, where do you think it comes from? Like, don't be, don't, you know know bury your head in the sand also the ostrich you eat yeah

uh your special heavy favorite heavy favorite on YouTube on YouTube on Napster on Napster

on Apple Music on Spotify um all of them I'll come over to your house and just say it and this was just that's fun

and you did you recorded this special you had no material you just winged it on Christmas Eve on Christmas Eve All of them. I'll come over to your house and just say it. And this was just... That's fun. And you recorded this special. You had no material. You just winged it on Christmas Eve. Yeah. Christmas Eve. At a pizza restaurant with about 10 people in it. Well, thank you for being our guest.

Thank you so much for having me. Thank you out there for listening. We want you to take good care. The next time you're at a balloon race or festival, and we wish you to come back next week for another episode of stop podcast yourself maximum fun a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows

supported directly by you.