Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 814 - Aaron Read

Episode Date: October 24, 2023

Comedian Aaron Read joins us to talk American Pie movies, ultrasonic cleaners, and Spirit Halloween.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 814 of Stodd Podcasts Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and as always with me, whatever, is a man who is the only person I know that's got fantastic Halloween decorations already up, Mr. Dave Shumka. Did we not talk about that last time? I'm just so impressed that maybe I'll say it more than once.

My wife, Abigail, who's also her own person, she decorates Halloween-wise. She goes a little too hard. People, here's the thing. In Vancouver, it rains all of October long. Yeah. And leaves fall down all October long. all down all october long and uh so if you go if you do outside stuff like i've uh i have requested that we no longer put out um cobwebs for those fake cobwebs because they get real disgusting yeah but indoors abby's got like a um like you would have a bowls of snacks around

she's got bowls of like little skulls and little um. This is how to make your home haunted. To eat or just to touch? You can eat them if you wanted. They're not food. Okay. Yeah, they're not food.

On a dare, on a dare you might. Okay. That voice you hear is a returning guest to the podcast. One of our all-time favorites. It's Aaron Reid, everybody.

Hello. Oh my God, that voice you hear is not that voice you hear. Oh wow, where did that come from? Hello. I like doing my god, that voice you hear is not that voice you hear. Oh wow, where did that come from? Hello. I like doing that voice.

Demon voice. No one ever likes it though. I love it. Thank you. What's not to like? Hello. It's kind of scary. Headaches are pretty good too.

Nice. But how long could you do it? Not very long. Yeah, your throat would get Your throat eventually gets dry right about now.

And then you're done. So I couldn't be I couldn't do're done. So I couldn't be... I couldn't do the hobbit. I couldn't be the dragon in the hobbit. You know what it sounds like? Smough? It sounds like Dr. Claw. Oh, yeah!

From Inspector Gadget. That sounds almost paper. I'll get you my gadget. Yes. Yeah! That's perfect. Yeah. Good work.

And he strokes his cat. Yeah. The cat gets... Sometimes he gets really mad and smashes the table and the cat runs away. Dr. Claw. And he didn't have a claw. He had a full hand. Well, he had a full hand.

He was a handful. Where'd you get your trench coat? It's a good one. How do you fit all that stuff in your trench coat? Seems like a smaller. Where does he get all those wonderful toys? All right, let's get to know us. Get to know us.

I feel like there was an episode of Inspector Gadget when maybe it was an origin episode and that he was more of a robot than he was a human. Inspector Gadget? Yeah. Whoa. Because he had metal arms and spring legs. origin episode and that he was like more of a robot than he was a human inspector gadget yeah whoa because he had like metal arms and spring legs yeah but he's a human because he's got a niece yeah unless she's a robot having nieces and nephews was what makes us human yeah that's true yeah uh lions don't do it and crows don't do it. Those are the two. Even educated, please. That episode started with Inspector Gadget riding a helicopter cowgirl, right? Like having sex with a helicopter.

Yeah, but is that a... I love this copter. Oh, that's a good Inspector Gad. And then he... So his bottom half of his body got chopped off? Is that what you're saying? I don't know. Riding cowgirl in a helicopter.

He does have a helicopter hat. Yeah. Oh, yeah. What is, if we can always try to remember, what does Inspector Gadget have? He has, add the aforementioned, helicopter hat. Yeah. Springs? Spring legs.

Spring legs. Longo arms. Longo arms. Does he have some kind of parachute or umbrella? Probably. He has an umbrella. It's like one of the hands. He's got all these hands that come out.

It's holding an umbrella. Does he have rocket skate? I think he has rocket skates. Yeah. I think he does. I think he has a new thing every episode. You think they just kept adding Gadget? Yeah.

That's why they couldn't make a good action figure is because they couldn't do it in real life. Couldn't decide. I had the action figure when I was a youth. Oh, nice. Saved up money for it. Uh-huh. Yeah. How much was it?

Probably like $20. Ooh. And then our family dog tore it to Fred's. To Fred's? To Fred's. Is that what I said? Yeah. Right to Fred's.

What was your favorite toy growing up, Aaron? My favorite toy growing up? I mean, I really liked, I drew the Ninja Turtles a lot, and I had some Ninja Turtles action figures. Did you draw the whole bodies or just the faces? I drew the whole bodies. What was your favorite part to draw? I loved drawing

the shell. I loved drawing Leonardo because he's got the two swords yeah and that's cool as hell and you could you could you do the hands uh i'm sure they were really bad i still can't draw hands that well they're hard hands are hard um i heard a thing about how like for you know about this you're an artist but for um like even hundreds of years, there's like the system of workshops or whatever is like if you're like a patron of Michelangelo's, not the Ninja Turtle, but the artist. Yeah. You order a painting from him.

You commission a painting. And he has these apprentices that do it all. Yeah, that's the way to do it. And like if you, there's like ranges you that do it all. Yeah, that's the way to do it. And, like, if you, there's, like, ranges you can do it. You can either pay the full price and he does all of it, or you pay middle bit and he does just the faces and hands. Or you pay the lowest price and the apprentice does it all in his style. Whoa.

Yeah. He had a tier system? I don't know if it was Michelangelo, but, you know. Michelangelo's GoFundMe? If you want a top tier. Yeah, bottom tier layer, everybody gets the apprentice painting. Now I'm like, well, like Douglas Copeland isn't making the big whale. No, and that's, what's his name?

The guy is like Damien Hirst. Oh, yeah, Damien Hirst. He's just got like a factory of people that make yeah cause those guys are and Jeff Koons cause those guys

are like all about like well that's so boring but or not boring but that's so fucking stupid what am I about to say

well cause those guys are like conceptual guys cause so they're like it's about the idea it's not about the that's why they don't care about the execution

the execution yeah I'm all about the execution I've been watching't care about the execution the execution yeah yeah i i'm all about the execution i've been watching phases of death a lot nice like yeah yeah is that on netflix is that streaming on netflix no it's on where to see phases of death streaming yeah it's on coco melon tv oh man to be after dark yeah but it's a setup time wise you can only Tubi after dark. Yeah. But it's a setup. Time-wise, you can only watch it after dark. They're like, type in region. We'll tell you when you watch it.

I mistyped that. I got Faces of Jeff, and this is Jeff Probst from Survivor. Fuck, the best face. By doing faces. Like, I don't know. No Jeff Dunham in the mix? No, just Probst. Wow.

Not Faces of Jeffs. That guy, man, has he scored the golden gig. Just like... Dunham? Probst. No, Prob has he scored the golden gig. Dunham? No, Probst. Also Dunham. I mean, Dunham, he gets to say whatever he feels like. And he just has to retire that character after a while and go like, can't do that anymore. Can't do that anymore. Dr.

Claw. Sorry, we gotta... Say hello to the little lady in the front row, Dr. Claw. Hello. What? Are you here with anyone today? That's not, you don't ask that of a lady.

I can't do it anymore. It hurts so much. I can almost see up your skirt, little lady. Hey, come on, Dr. Claw. We knew you were going to get cancelled But right now already It's your first show I would like to apologize To my audience

On behalf of Dr. Claw We didn't know he'd be so problematic Yeah we love Dr. Claw Did we ever see his face? Was it too hard to draw? His face was a giant hand. Or a horse. Aren't horses supposed to be hard to draw as well?

They're hard to draw. Horses are hard to draw. Why? I think their proportions are not what you think they are. I think they're one of those animals where you picture it in your head. You're like, same with a shark. Sharks are very hard to draw. Yeah.

I find. Yeah, because you think that the fins are doing one thing, but they're doing quite a different thing, the fins. Right. Those side fins are hard to draw. I find. Yeah, because you think that the fins are doing one thing, but they're doing quite a different thing, the fins. Right. Those side fins are hard to draw. Yeah.

And it's also easy to make a shark look like an out of shape shark. If you start drawing like a big shark, but then you got tiny fins like, ah, this shark looks like.

I know what I have trouble drawing. Bicycle. Oh, yeah. Bicycle's tough. Bicycle's hard. Especially guy on bicycle.

Yeah. Forget it. Playing guitar, that's very hard to do. Oh, it's all hands. Yeah. It's all hands. Oh, yeah. Bicycle's tough. Bicycle's hard. Especially guy on bicycle. Yeah. Forget it. Playing guitar, that's very hard to do. Oh, it's all hands. Yeah. It's all hands. Oh, yeah. Perspective.

I feel like there was a genre of art unto itself that you would see in coffee shops. Oh, hell yeah. Maybe in the late 90s, early 2000s of like jazz guys. Like kind of wiggly arm jazz guys. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Like a guy playing piano piano but the piano is really small and his head is really like coming at you yeah but also the piano keys are like going like

they're like you're ascending to heaven but how did everybody know to put that in their restaurants and and coffee shops and bars and bistros oh yeah and bistros absolutely taz van rassel a guest you've had in the past and a friend of mine. Taz Van Rassel. I don't know. He used to have a blog in, like, 2007 that was called Jazz Murals, and he just uploaded all different jazz murals to it. I try and find it, everyone, so it's gone. It's too bad.

It's on the dark web. Yeah. That's the only place you can get those now. They were outlawed, and now you can only get them on the dark web. How much time, you know when you look at your phone and it tells you

how long you've been on it? How much time do you guys spend on the dark web? Oh. Like, do you ever get the number and go like,

holy crap, I'm just, I gotta get out of the house. It's more when. Mine is first as soon as I wake up. I get my morning cup of joe, I do my stretches

and I go right on the dark web. Yeah, I do dark wordle. It's all swears? Yeah, it's all swears, and it's all edgy stuff. Edgelord. Five letter edgelord words.

I did have one of those circle games where there's a bunch of letters in the circle and you have to try and get them into a crossword. And I would often, for some reason I thought it would work, but I would put swear words into it just to see. Yeah. I never,

I would put like cock and it'd be like, no, what do you, why would we put cock? Cock could be, yeah, that's true. But I was meaning it penis.

Well, we can tell you meant penis. We recognize cock as a word. Do we know that you meant penis? Yeah. You were meaning it penis. You'd have to be, feel like do

they still use the word cock in england to refer to a boy um right yeah i think so those guys over there you know what i mean yeah so aaron yeah you recorded a special yes and i was there i got to host for you yeah yeah thank you so much you're amazing and your your sets were so so funny guys it was like three was it three shows three shows three shows yeah and um uh yeah they were great thank you and i know you've been uh editing them and we're talking before the podcast how editing your own face yeah yeah because i like when i see people will video me and say like hey do you want the video? And I'm like, yeah, sure.

And then I'm like, that's what I look like on stage? Yeah. What the fuck? Burn this. Yeah, exactly. I don't understand how the Instagram TikTok generation are so comfortable. Yeah. I don't know either.

Yeah. Do you mean kids these days? Yeah. The ones on my lawn, et cetera. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, in my day, we didn't have it so easy. Explain. Yeah, you know, it's like they got a computer in their pocket.

We couldn't walk around like that. You had to, yeah, like, okay. You think it's hard to read. You not only have to read a map map good luck trying to fold it back yeah yeah that's true I do remember

going to gas stations when I was lost and going to the gas station and looking at their map and then just putting it back and then oh like unfolding it yeah

unfolding the map yeah can you are you still confident in your map reading abilities nah I was never very good at it even the

even the ones on the phone, I have to turn the phone to the direction that I am going. Yeah. Yeah. And I always have that thing where I'm like, okay, I'll start walking on the route,

and if I appear to be going away from the route, I'll turn around and go back. Yeah. That's a little add. But I'm going very slowly. Yeah, were you ever able to read just a regular old I don't know

that I can read a mall map you are here nice yeah it's a little complicated though multi-layer

and they're on screens yeah I like it when people think a mall map is a touch map but it's not at all and it's just a screen that plays

I like when people do that and I do that a lot I do that I touch I'll go right up to it and try and expand things. Nope.

Zoom in. Zoom in on Claire's accessories. Zoom in. Computer, zoom in. Can we see the ear piercing station from space? Street view, please. Yeah. Claire's.

Street view, Claire's. I don't know what the modern mall holds. I mean, there's, you know, Lids. I know Lids is in the mall. Lids is there. Claire's is there. Popcorn still? Kernels?

I don't know if they all have a Kernels. Okay. I feel like a lot of malls, well, the malls down here are like pivoting to kind of bougie stuff. Oh, yeah. I feel like the malls are bougie. Like a Holt Renfrew. Yeah, like a Holt Renfrew, a fancy coffee shop.

Yeah. Adidas store. Adidas store getting very fancy. Very fancy. There's, I go to Metrotown, you know, boy, I guess for a monthly pilgrimage. No, not monthly, but I'll go every three or four months. And I think it's so big that it's, it's, they've got something for everyone. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. It has two pretzel stands. Well, there's one on main level, one on second level. Same brand? No. Competing. They have competing cinnamon bun places, like, right around the corner from each other. I love it.

Well, they got, like, Cinezone and... They got Cinzeo and Cinnabon. Oh, right. Cinzeo. Okay. That's probably a Canadian one, right? I don't know. It sounds authentically Italian to me.

I dropped it on my Cinzeo. Oh, a lifetime on the hips. What was the last cinnamon bun you guys had? I actually had the last time i remember having a cinnamon bun i got it from um ooey gooey uh the one that one in town that there's a cinnamon bun brand in town that is at coffee shops and they're always called ooey gooey cinnamon buns oh are they from grounds for coffee grounds for coffee yeah and i had one of those cinnamon buns and i went to uh pacific spirit park uh with a person i was dating at the time. We were just going on

like a hike or whatever, a walk. That's a walk. And I was eating this cinnamon bun and this like West Van like,

kind of like nimby couple was like, make sure you take that garbage away with you. And then I was like, I am and I will. I'm just eating.

Leave me alone. I'm just eating. What? I'm not allowed to eat a cinnamon bun in the woods without like you thinking I suck? Although it would be very funny to be walking in the woods and passing somebody who's eating a cinnamon bun.

I guess maybe it was ridiculous. I would have thrown it on the ground right in front of them. You pick it up. Yeah. I was mad about it. Yeah. I've been in line at that place to get them right out from the kitchen they're good they're good but they're to be honest having them warmer for me do you need the uh

uh the frosting on it uh it is nice it is nice i will say at the end of a cinnamon bun i feel a bit sick yeah my hands my fingers are all fucked up from cinnamon and icing. The icing is too much for me. I find I like just the white breadiness. It's basically cinnamon bread. How come they don't sell bread like that? Just wrapped in a... I think they probably can. Get a like a babka. Yeah, babka.

Yeah, I could go for a babka. I had a, I made a pumpkin loaf last week. Nice. That's good. I'm not, so here's what's going on with me. No, I don't drink coffee in the afternoon anymore. I used to be like coffee in the morning, and then at 11 in the morning,

I'm looking forward to my 2 p.m's what I got right here. Afternoon coffee. Yeah. Uh, and then I just, one day a switch flipped and I just don't, don't want it at all anymore. But if I'm having like a loaf of something, if I'm having a delicious,

delicious, uh, cakey treat in the afternoon, nothing beats it with coffee. With coffee. Yeah. It's true. Um,

did you make pumpkin loaf from canned or? Yeah. Okay. I don't know. I assume this house is pro jack-o'-lantern. Yeah. Oh, I guess you could make your own, but I don't know. I've never cooked with the insides of a pumpkin other than making the seeds.

Yeah. It's such a web of. No webs. No webs this Halloween. No webs. It's a dark web. no webs no webs this halloween no web it's a dark web yeah um it's funny i was thinking uh this time of year if you're bad at spelling you could be right even if you crave pumpkins or carve pumpkins that's good that is good they should say do that on

crave our television channel yes they should change it to carve for the month um how's the special coming yeah before that what would your what would your scary halloween name be like mine would be mayhem clark no mayhem clark oh scare and read okay or erin peed yeah i could be the one getting scared and i'm david s pumpkins yeah Easy peasy. Did I do that? Was that his catchphrase? I don't know. I think that might have been it.

Yeah. He did, it was a weird thing. It was fun. We love it. Rock the internet. Yeah. Rock the internet. You rock the internet.

I liked it. It was cool. In your lifetime, what are the things that rock the internet? Kim Kardashian with the champagne butt photo. Well, that was the idea. Yeah. That was the idea. Was that she was going to break the internet. And she did. to bork the internet she totally borked it yeah she broke

the internet and uh we're just getting back for me now it's the dress oh the dress yeah all right does it look green or gold yeah well yeah yeah that was huge. It was huge, huge. Have you experienced the audio versions of that? No. Oh, yes. Yes, yeah. Where it's like, do you hear Kristen Laurel or Yanni? Yeah. Yeah.

And then there's another one where it's, oh, I can't think of it, but it's. I remember when the dress thing came out, I was on Twitter and I think at the time I was not I remember my response to the dress was I looked at the dress and this is what I saw and I just posted a photo of this like made up photoshop of a guy with like a ton

of dicks like he had like multiple multiple dicks and I'm really glad I'm not less on the internet now I extremely online yeah what what is your what's the internet like how much are you and what's the best amount of dicks yeah it was a lot though it was a comical amount it was like a lot for me like I was sorry to be the body shame people for me two years ago is comical comical amount two and up three is then and they're amount it was like a for me like i was sorry to be to body shame people for me two is a call

comical comical amount two and up three is then there are like udders graham and i sometimes send each other back and forth the picture of the guy who did an ama on reddit about two i'm having two did yeah oh i didn't know that yeah it's my response is like clearly going to look it up later. I didn't know that. I'll look that up later. Diphalia it's called. Oh, with a PA. Respect out there to all the diphalias. And I remember somebody asking him like,

is this something that women like? And he's like, you have no idea. Wow. All he has to do is say that he has two dicks and then everybody's, I would have sex with just to see. I would like to see. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. If you have two dicks and you're chill yeah like you're a nice guy the problem is i this conversation comes up a lot and then i'll look it up on my phone and i'll show it to the person and then i'll feel bad because i'm like well i took it too far yeah it's fine. Yeah, you find out. Yeah, look it up later. Yeah. Yeah. I just have Instagram and Gmail. That's all I have. Nice. Yeah.

You only... I'm on Gmail all day. Just scrolling. No, no. I used to have Twitter, but I don't have Twitter anymore. I was too angry. I got into too many arguments with people on Twitter. Oh.

So I was one of those guys, and I really hated that. And you're not one of those guys. I am not.. Hated that. And you're not, you're not one of those guys. I am not in real, in real life. I'm not, I'm, I'm chill. Yeah.

I mean, unless someone tells you to not litter. Yeah. Then I go nuts. Yeah. Do you know that I have two dicks is what I, that's from now on. If somebody challenges me.

And then his wife is like, honey, wait in the car. Let me see. Let me see. Let me see. Honey, wait in the car. Let me see.

Let me see. Let me see. Let me go wait in the car. And then she puts her finger on them and tries to expand them like. My favorite clip, and it comes around kind of once a month that I get to see. Have you seen it where the cop is patting the guy down? Oh, yeah. And he grabs his dick and he goes, what am I feeling here?

He goes, my penis. And the cop goes, oh, yes. Good. All right. Good for you. Yes. Yeah. And didn't we all love that cop going out of the slide super fast? Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. That was really good. That was good internet. Yeah. Yeah. See, we've had a lot of good memories on the internet. Yeah.

But, you know, paring it down, not a bad idea. I don't know how people can put out so much content. Yeah. It's amazing yeah um but yeah this is just we all we just do 814 and then we're done then we're done we're just but you know like i watched the thing about a couple that were like an online couple yeah and they broke up and that was going to be like the end of their marriage and also their income. Business. Oh, they were an online couple. So they were a real

life couple that did online stuff. Weird. Yeah. It's all weird, man. That's weird to me. Do you remember when Pauline Dynamite's brother met his wife on the internet? Oh, yeah. In the movie? Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

That movie, when I first saw it, I thought it was the funniest thing in the GD world. Yeah. Yeah. Have you been to a movie in the theaters more than once? Yeah, lots of times. Yeah? But not because I really like them. I just kind of go.

I love going to the movies like, okay, this one's embarrassing and makes me sound not problematic, but strange. I went to go see Joker twice because I was really excited to see joker i love walking phoenix and then when i saw it i was like yeah it's pretty good and then my friend was gonna go i was like i'll go again uh and then i saw it again i was like oh no that was bad that was not a good movie and then i saw barbie twice i really liked it yeah but same thing My friends just went to go. And then I saw It, the clown movie. Oh, yeah? I saw that one twice.

Both. Both of them twice. So four times on It. I guess so. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. I have told this story before about how bad I feel for making my dad see Dick Tracy in

the theater twice. He really didn't want to go a second time. I don't blame him. Also, it would be more of his era right like he would know dick tracy from so i guess from comics yeah and yeah he should have been asking me to see it twice dave you'll i love warren patey you gotta see pacino's makeup you won't even recognize Dustin Hoffman, Dave. And every chance that I get to see Madonna up on that big screen, you know I'm taking it.

As Breathless Mahoney. And Mandy Patinkin as her piano player, 88 Keys. Man, you did see this twice. I don't know, any piano player could be named 88 Keys, though. But they aren't. But I didn't know who Mandy Patinkin was at the time. But you didn't know that he was the guy from Princess Bride, for sure. Sure, I hadn't even seen that at that point.

Yeah, I feel like Napoleon Dynamite was one that I saw more than once. Because I wanted people to see it, and it wasn't popular enough for people to be going in large numbers. Yeah. But I'd be like, oh, this is funny. Let's go see it again. Oh, and I'd still laugh. All the parts I laughed at before. I remember I went to, I feel like it was maybe American Pie or...

Stifler. The Stifler Diaries. The Stifler Chronicles. Yeah. The Chronicles of Stifler diaries um the stifler chronicles yeah the chronicles of stifler uh or was something about mary uh it was a gross out comedy that i went with and i was like 18 when those movies came out and i went with my friends and one of them was like so appalled they were like david you suggested this movie? And I was like, yeah, but everyone else in the theater loved it. These are movies people are out of breath laughing so hard.

Where did you meet these friends of yours? People from high school, my age. It wasn't an old dowager or something. David, please pick up your popcorn. Don't leave a mess when you're done. Is this what they show in public school? You wouldn't see this at the academy. I didn't like the American Pie movies,

but I've seen all of them, even the ones that are the offshoots. You didn't like the first one? No. I just, I was like, no, it ruled. It was about fucking a pie. Getting it done.

It made me anxious, the original, because I was a bit younger when they came out. But it made me really anxious because of all the sex stuff. Yeah. And that's more of a me problem. You have to have sex before high school's over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Otherwise, it's over for you. Oh, you're a fucking loser. I've heard about, like, back in the 80s, movies being greenlit with the caveat that there has to be nudity in it. Like even if it doesn't relate to the story, they're like, we'll fund this film, but there has to be this amount of nudity. A woman taking off their shirt. Yeah. At the very least. That's great.

Yeah, it's great. It was a different time. I tried rewatching the American Pie movies recently just because I was just watching garbage. But I came home quite drunk one night and I started watching American Pie 2. And just Stifler's journey made me vomit. Like, I was, like, pretty drunk. And then I was watching and I was like, I fucking hate Stifler. And then I was like, God, he's such a fucking pervert.

But everyone thinks he's... But he was getting his just desserts. Like, he gets pissed on immediately. But just, like, St pissed on immediately but just like Stifler's whole energy made me I had to go throw up and then

I came back and tried to still watch it and I was like no this is making you nauseous what so the second one

they're in college and they're like working as painters yeah and the third one is the reunion third one is the wedding

oh okay right and then there was a reunion later but in between there was like band camp and yeah flute bangers and whatever and the most recent one is uh american pie girls rules and it's a it's like a female all all-woman reboot of american okay not reboot but it's just like a version uh I've never seen it, but it looks cool. They're all cool. They're all kind of cool.

What's his name? The really handsome guy, Chris... Terminator? Oh, Chris Klein? He didn't return for American Wedding. Oh, he didn't? No, but he showed up in American Reunion when I think he was like, I'm not better than this franchise. No one's calling me. I'm not. No one wants me to be Jack Ryan.

That's the ultimate for any working actor. Exactly. So here are... I'm trying to find... No one wants me to be a Tom Clancy man. Okay, here are the movies in order. Some kind of fancy Clancy man. American Pie movies by release date.

American Pie, 1999. American Pie 2, 2001. Okay. American Wedding, 2003. Who got married then? Allison Hannigan and Jason Biggs? Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. I was going to say Pie Guy and Flute. I don't know. Pie Guy and Flute Monster. American Pie presents Band Camp. Yeah. Yeah. American Pie presents The Naked Mile.

Yeah. American Pie presents Beta House. Nice no you haven't seen beta house oh you you look like you would have your total beta ah shit yeah i just got elephant uh american pride presents the book of love okay oh 2009 i've seen that one because it's a book yeah it's that book that teaches sex yeah for the first one yeah wow yes yeah uh american reunion 2012 and american pie presents girls rules 2020 yeah they took a big break eight year break to come out with american pie girls rules it was sort of they had to do it after the ghostbusters and uh oceans. Do they do American middle age? Do they do

American retirement? Yeah. In the girls' rule, do they, is they reverse it? It's like the girls are learning to like blowjobs?

I don't know. Yeah. I think it's like not like, I don't think it's empowering, but I think it's more like, more like progressive. I think it's like,

we're heading in the right direction. Yeah. But I mean, American Pie 2 still had jokes about consent and stuff. Like Stifler's always

getting razzed about consent. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Good razzing. Yeah. You could use a good razzing.

But I remember reading an interview because I really immersed myself in it one night. Same kind of thing. Oh, you go. And they made

a female Stifler in this one called same kind of thing yes oh you go drunk and they made a female stifler in this one called stifle her nice um but there was talk about a american vacation was gonna be now what are the or it would be like american baby what about american oh i guess that's in reunion but like having it be american pie presents it, like it's its own brand. Yeah. What are the other things that do that? We have National Lampoon. National Lampoon.

Broken Lizard. Van Wilder. No, is Van Wilder National Lampoon? Yeah. Yes. And then like there are like Tom Clancy's Fill in the Black. Oh, yeah, of course. Who's the other guy?

Tom Clancy's American Pie Spy. Nice. What are the, so Van Wilder, the Van Wilder movie was based on Bert Kreischer. Yeah. Oh, right. Yeah. So is the Bert- I know too much about that guy.

I fucking hate it. Is the Bert Kreischer movie in the same universe? Oh, yeah, that's right. He was in a movie. Van Wilder, The Rise of taj and van wilder the nude mile um i don't know that's a good question i have no idea um but i'm gonna look into it uh yeah dude i remember reading that there was a rolling stone interview article yeah he was like the hardest partier at this party school

and then Oliver Stone bought his rights to his story he did? to option it for a while and then Will Smith as production company bought his rights

but then nothing ever happened with it and then years later he made that movie that's so crazy yeah wow he should be

70 years old yeah I know because that movie came out 20 years ago plus there was a bunch of stuff Wow. He should be 70 years old. Yeah. I know. Because that movie came out 20 years ago. Plus, there was a bunch of stuff happening before that. And it's also like he never wears a shirt, which is... Is it supposed to be like I'm Iggy Pop but of comedy? Or is it...

I couldn't... Yeah. I think it's just like I'm here to party. Yeah. That's true. I'm fucked up. I'm a fucked up guy who's here to party and tell you stories. I'm a fucked up storyteller.

I don't think I've ever seen a stand-up. I've only just read his books. Guide to College, Guide to Reunion. He has books, actually. Yeah, what's his name had a book? Jeff Ross from Roast. Oh, my God. Really has books, actually. Yeah. What's his name had a book? Jeff Ross from Roast. Oh, my God. Really?

Yeah. Gross. I've ordered the... I hate all those guys. I've ordered the Britney Spears memoir. Oh, yeah? Yeah. That's cool.

It'll be up this week. There's a shocking revelation in the press, I won't say, but involving a young Justin Timberlake. I think the book is not going to make him look all that great. Well, he's a little worm. He's a little worm wiener. Like when that Super Bowl thing happened with Janet Jackson, he like totally like didn't take any responsibility.

He didn't get in trouble. She got in all the trouble. Yeah. And yeah. Even though he's the one who said, gonna have you naked by the end of this song. Yeah. Yeah. And then though he's the one who said, gonna have you naked by the end of this song. Yeah. Yeah.

And then he was also the one who said, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom,

boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Hey it's me Justin Hey it's me Justin Superlake

Hey it's me Justin From eSync Now the last time you were here Aaron Yeah You were doing your laundry in a bucket Yeah Yeah Got a lot of response off of that

Yeah Got a lot of heat Yeah people liked that They did like it And were concerned for me Yeah I look up the episodes every once in a while I look at the comments

Yeah But people loved it I think people really It was cool I like that. And for a concern for me, I look up the episodes every once in a while. I look at the comments. Yeah. But people loved it. I think people really. It was cool. I had no idea that story would resonate so hard. But it's like, we've all been in some sort of situation where you have to like, kludge together.

Yeah. Yeah. Some sort of system of cleaning. Yeah. Yeah. And it was, kludge is the right word. Even though, never heard it before. Oh, you never heard kludge? No.

It's just like. You had a couple good words today. It's like clam fudge. Yes. yes yeah it's clamato and fudge what did you say before you said something wasn't pertaining to the story but you used a word there wasn't a word for it oh no wasn't there a word but you used a word he's remembering oh yeah like you're telling a story about someone who had something but that doesn't not... Not pertinent? Germaine. Germaine. I've never heard that before. That's a guy who got it from the Jackson 5? Yeah.

Whoa! But a kludge is just anything that you, as somebody who doesn't really know what you're doing, puts together the coat hanger and the sponge and all that stuff, and then it works. But when you look at it, you're like, this is a kludge. You kludged it. You got kludged. What's your favorite or biggest kludge that you've ever taken on? Oh, my God.

Is this thing right behind you that's going to fall on you? No, I don't. Yeah, I'm very bad at, like, I don't make a plan before I try to do something. Yeah, you just throw yourself into it. Well, now I'll watch a video on how to fix a hole in the wall. Yeah. And then I'll do it badly. How to repair.

Oh, I repaired this towel rack in the kid's bathroom. They accidentally pulled down the towel rack. Yes. Just a bit. And the first video I watched was like, just fill it with, just spray that foam into the wall, and then you can just screw into the foam. Nice.

That worked for a week. Yeah. Then I found another video that didn't have as many views, but it had the right way to do it. Yeah. Yeah. I know that when I lived at one place that didn't have great heat, the radiators were bad. I bought a heater, but I also had a curtain made that would stop the cold air coming in through the front door. That was kind of a kludge. That's a kludge. Oh yeah, we did a lot of kludging when the dogs

were puppies just to keep them in different spaces. We discovered that they were too powerful for most of the plastic fencing we acquired. Besides washing shirts in a discovered that they were too powerful for most of the plastic fencing we acquired besides washing shirts in a tub would you have another another kludge um i used to when i was a kid i used to i found this bike this bmx and i used to like get obsessed with like fixing it painting it yeah but i was a kid so i didn't really know what i was doing uh and i loved spray painting it. Yeah. But I was a kid, so I didn't really know what I was doing. And I loved spray painting it and washing my hands with turpentine, which I wasn't supposed to do. Yeah, totally.

But the bike was terrible. And so when I would try and go down the stairs on it, the handlebars would push forward. So I think the whole thing was a kludge. That sounds like a kludge. Yeah. That's kludgeable. Oh, BMX bikes. So much fun.

Yeah. What do you feel? What's your guys' take on adults riding BMX bikes? BMX bikes. So much fun. Yeah. What do you feel? What's your guys' take on adults riding BMX bikes? I think it's sick as hell. Yeah, people need to get where they need to go, and sometimes they need to spin their handlebars around while they do it. Yeah, it is cool.

I think they should have to have pegs. Yeah. So anyone can just jump on the back. You know that those are called pegs because Al Bundy used to ride with Peg Bundy on the back? Is that right? Yeah. Really? Yeah. I wouldn't lie about that.

Could you have pegs on the front too? Yeah. Yeah. For grinding. Oh, yes, of course, for grinding. Yeah. Did you ever try grinding? No, I was never.

Would you ever try grinding? I would try it. I'd try grinding. Okay. Sure, I'd try grinding. All right, well, we've set up a little course outside. Okay. Let's get the labs on.

I know you're not afraid because on at least one occasion, I've seen you take a run and slide across a stage for stand-up comedy on your belly. I like to do stunts. Yeah. You run, you slide, you hit the bump and take a dive. This is a slip and slide? I guess it's slip and slide, but it's slip and slide

with a bump on it. Yeah. It's not Crocodile Mile, is it? Yeah, maybe. Yeah,

did you ever have one of those? No. American Pies, Crocodile Mile. National Lampoon presents Van Wilder presents the

Crocodile Mile. Um, no, we didn't have them either. Two, uh, and from all accounts,

you have to make sure your yard is completely rock free. Yeah. Yeah. I think I only went on a slip and slide. Well, I've told this on this podcast, my friend stole a banner from McDonald's and we turned that into a slip and slide. You told that?

Yeah. But there were rivets on the side. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So I got a pretty big side. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so I got, I got pretty big scratch. Oh, no.

Worth it. Worth it for the story. I'm kind of the Bert Preischer of. You were like, whoa. I'm taking his shirt off right now. What are these things?

And he was like, rivets. And you're like, okay, Mr. Frog Impersonator, what are they really? Yeah, that, impersonator. What are they really? Yeah. I think that's really a thing

when you go through growing up is stealing signage. Yeah. Yeah. Like, I know that I stole like, you know, like traffic sign.

Yeah. I'm not sure what kind. I took a stop sign. Yeah. Or not a stop sign, a no parking sign. Yeah, I had a bus stop. Yeah. Did you? Yeah. Yeah. I had, what did I. I took a stop sign. Yeah. Or not a stop sign, a no parking sign. Yeah, I had a bus stop.

Yeah. Did you? Yeah. Yeah, I had. What did I have? The checkered one. I was trying to make. Oh.

I was trying to design my own TGI Fridays. So I wanted wacky stuff on my wall. Oh, you needed to have wacky stuff on the walls. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and also like ads that were on the bus or the train. People love to take those. Yeah.

My sister once stole one because she thought, like, in a full bus, she went up and just pulled it down because she thought the guy in the ad

looked like me. And I saw it and I was like, I don't think so. Yeah, this is free being able to take a picture with your phone.

I'll just bring it home. Back door, please. And put it into the trash. Thanks, driver. I take the ones from the bus take the ones I take the ones from the bus too I take the ones for the

not in for any political reason I just like them I take the cops ones where they're advertising you they want you to also be a cop

I was looking at one of them today and the guy who's smiling is smiling in such a way that it looks like what he's trying to communicate

is that being a cop is a hilarious bomb. Like a great time, like just a fucking sick ass time. And I always look at him like, I don't know. That smells too. Like there's no,

there's no humility to that smile. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, yeah. I mean, there's no responsibility to that smile.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Um. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know, man. I guess I'll sign up. That ad's convinced me. It's cool.

Yeah. I might be a little old, but I still care about the law. So, you know, I'm not going to get a pension or anything, but I can get a gun. What are we too old to do now? Are we too old to join the cops? Join the NBA. Yeah, we can join the NBA. We won't be drafted.

No NHL. No Army, I don't think. I don't think you can get enlisted at NBA. Yeah, we can join the NBA. We won't be drafted. No NHL. No Army, I don't think. I don't think you can get enlisted at your... Oh, come on. Dang. What do I really, really want to? Well, I remember watching Letterman after 9-11

and Bruce Willis was on and he said that he was trying to enlist. That doesn't... That's crazy. Yeah, and you're not actually the guy, you're not John McClane for real, you're the guy who played. Yeah. Maybe that would,

you're not Hudson Hawk for real. Maybe he was going to make a movie, that's how he would contribute, is make a propaganda film. Sure. For America. And that film was Looper. Yeah, that was probably

his last great film. What are you talking about? Breakfast of Champions? Oh, was that after Looper? I don't know. It's a terrible movie. And it's not even a good reference. It's a Kurt Vonnegut book. A perfect fit. He made like a bunch of

diehards toward the end. He's still alive. He's not acting anymore. He did manage to get out five diehards. Yeah. The fourth one was pretty good. Did he do one with Shia LaBeouf? He did one with Justin Long.

Oh, that's the one. That's the one with Justin Long and Mary Elizabeth. Olsen? Mary Elizabeth Parker? Mary Elizabeth, Queen of England? Nike? Master Antonio? The one from Scott Pilgrim.

Oh, yeah. What is her name? I was, yeah, I watched a movie or I brought up a movie on the, I was like, oh, it's her from Scott Pilgrim. And then it wasn't her. But I was like, but the picture is exactly her. Oh, weird. Yeah. I was thinking about, she was also in that, I was thinking about scary movies.

And she was in that Cloverfield. Oh, yeah. That's good. Sequel. Or like Cloverfield Presents the Naked Mile. The basement. Yeah. 15 Cloverfield Lane.

Have you seen it? Yeah. I saw it in the theater twice. Come on, dad. With John Goodman. And I was thinking, oh, yeah, he was really good in that. I feel like that's an underrated scary movie. Yeah, yeah.

That movie was great. I don't understand. There's a third one that's called, like, the Cloverdale. Cloverfield. The Cloverdale Rodeo. They went way off in a different direction for the third one. Yeah. But, yeah,

that's a great horror movie. I wouldn't call it a horror movie. I'd call it a scary movie. Yeah, a scary movie. Yeah. I don't know if I'd call it a thrill. Yeah, maybe a suspense. Yeah, suspense.

A suspense movie. That's my favorite genre. Just being held in suspense. Tender hooks. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Okay. Well, what's your special called? Is it out anywhere?

Soft Bug Ego Jazz It'll be out in November 30th I think Yeah Set yourself That's your deadline Yeah there you go September 30th

November 30th And where Where can Will people be able to find it? Is it YouTube? Yeah I think we're going to Throw it up on YouTube

I mean I have to figure out distribution But that's a boring conversation And so Come back December 1st We'll talk Yeah we'll talk I think we're going to throw it up on YouTube. I mean, I have to figure out distribution, but that's a boring conversation. And so... Come back December 1st. We'll talk. Yeah, we'll talk. We'll talk distro.

Yeah, I think I'm going to put it up on YouTube and then the album, the audio will be on Bandcamp and Spotify. Oh, that sounds all right. On iTunes. That's good, isn't it? On iTunes. Moobie2B. Moobie2B.

Ooh, Kevin Banner was on last week and he said his album is on 73 audio platforms or something Oh there's so many I didn't know that I can't even figure out I can't figure out how to get stuff on Spotify I have to look that up

I can show you Graham's going to do a master class It's actually about construction but I do some show you okay yeah cool yeah sweet graham's gonna do a master class yeah yeah it's gonna be it's actually about uh construction but i do some jokes and uh business talk in between all right yeah jokes uh what's going on with me yeah okay a few weeks ago we had uh erica sigurdson on and uh whenever she's on we talk about zany products on the internet yeah we can't help buying and i was talking about how i was thinking about buying this dental uh pod okay this uh zima dental pod uh which is a thing where you put if you have uh invisalign

in the ad on instagram it's people with filthyvisalign that are like black and moldy. And you put them in this pod and it vibrates them at ultrasonic speeds. Nice. And all the gunk comes off of them. And I was like, oh, I should get that. I don't have Invisalign, but I do wear a night guard. And it has been getting yellow over the last few years. Sure.

And so it arrived today. Nice. do wear a night guard and it has been getting yellow over the last few years sure and uh so i um it arrived today nice and i whipped i whipped it out oh i didn't order this one because the zima dental pod is 150 dollars okay and i was like i will i this probably won't work anyway so i want the cheapest version yeah the cheapest version that has four stars on amazon okay and so i got that version and uh what's its name does it have a yeah it has a name the ultrasonic cleaning machine that's his full name i guess oh wow uh so i have the instructions here i uh did not read them i did not know it arrived with instructions, so I just plugged it in, put a like a polydent

thing in the water. Oh, yeah. So it's like a basically like a bowl, and you fill it with water, and I put in polydent. Then I put in my mouth guard. I took a picture of how yellow it was before, for before and after. And now you're gonna... To post on YouTube. Just, just just no

just as a reference for me okay just like yeah how much did it work and I put it in vibrates and bubbles and no no good didn't do anything didn't seem to do

anything then I also noticed it had a setting to do anything no what the hell shit should have at least put on a show yeah I mean it made noise you should go get if it had a setting to do anything no what the hell shit should have at least put on a show

yeah I mean it made noise you should go get some old lockets or something yeah maybe something that really

like but there's a so there's also a glasses setting and a um uh

jewelry setting and I put my glasses in and did nothing well I wouldn't have noticed if my glasses were dirty anyway yeah but that was the jewelry the jewelry no no glasses glasses and i put my wedding ring in for the jewelry setting because i've had i've gone to a jeweler before and he's like well while you're here just let throw throw uh yeah let me buff it up for you yeah and it ends up being super sparkly. Yeah.

You're like, I don't need you anymore. Didn't really do much of that. Have you guys seen those videos of people who leave their wedding ring on for too long and then their finger gets all infected and then the video is some guy cutting off someone's ring to make it bigger? I don't think it's leaving it on for too long. I think it's, yeah. Cutting off circulation?

Maybe if their hands are growing youtube was always trying to show you you want to look at this fucked up finger from this guy youtube is always trying to show you it's true they are yeah um battenberg crusher podcast and that's why i know too much about him and i don't like it um but i i i when i opened it it didn't have instructions now i see that it has instructions but i haven't read them but there are some some diagrams some pictures of a very like unhappy cloud there's like some kind of vibrating like um so that's the mess

that it's getting off of your I don't know but I went before I knew I had instructions I went to do these pictures

mean anything to you looking at them like does it even the sentences it says the sound pressure of the sound waves and the liquid propagation

causes the intense cavitation and emulsification of the liquid oh it did emulsify by the end. The liquid ended up being thick like mayonnaise. You just put an egg in there next time and, yeah, make your own mayonnaise. But I was reading, I was like, oh, this didn't come with instructions.

I'll go back to the Amazon page and see if they're just like on the page. And there were no instructions on the Amazon site, but I did read a, a review that someone wrote about this thing that said, tick tock made me buy it. And I'm so happy that I, that it did. I got this to clean my glasses.

If you wear glasses, you already know about that green stuff. Reading slime. As soon as I read that, I was like, I don't know my glasses don't get green stuff but maybe they leave their glasses out on a boat and stuff like that oh sure you know you get glass algae oh yeah or maybe they have like maybe it's like a

community pair that hangs on the tree next to one of those free libraries maybe their glasses are made of like copper that turns green over time community glasses yeah yikes oh my gosh

anyway so this was a great thing made by no brand I love buying things did you do anything wrong now that you look at the instructions or was it

you did it right and it just doesn't work I haven't read these instructions they're writing is too small and my glasses are covered in green stuff god that book slime book slime um but you know what i'll try it some more maybe i will man what do you good what do we need to agitate and maybe scramble some eggs in there yeah scramble some eggs some coins yeah throw in some coins filthy coins see what it does on that okay yeah or write write out your worries and put them in there and just let them emulsify yeah that's not a good exercise and there's a lid you

put on it but that didn't seem to do any have anything to do with it um well i'm sorry you got a bum product. I wonder if the real one even did. Yeah, I also don't know if my, like, I wear my night guard every night for 15 years. Yeah, nice. I don't know if it's. Good. If it's reparable.

Right. Like, if it'll. If that. Ever goes away. It's like green eyes, you know. It's like the green eyes stuff. Green slime out of the eye um uh yeah so you know i recommend if you're out there buy the ultrasonic cleaning

machine dg-uc02 nice from the good folks at no name brand on amazon. They'll sell you whatever. Yeah, there's all kinds of just electronics. Yeah. Don't settle for Sony or Panasonic. Settle for a brand you've never heard of. Yeah.

Yeah, Zaparoos or something like that. You know, sometimes when you, I don't know if you ever did this, but you go into a hotel room and you look at the

batteries that are in the remote and they're always just like cheapest. Yeah, Eastern European. Yeah. You can't get it on the black market anywhere.

You can't get it on the dark web. You can't get it on the dark web. Yeah. But I'm sure you got a bum product there, man. Hey, look, a bum product. That gave me an idea. Agitate my butt. I should definitely stick my butt in there.

The whole thing. What's going butt. Yeah, I should definitely stick my butt in there. The whole thing. What's going on with you, my man? Well, we're in the spookiest season of the year. Okay, what is that? Halloween's month.

All Hallows' Eves. I haven't heard of this. It's light Christmas, but better in every way possible. Oh, man, you're

really getting my goat. What do you like better? Santa or Halloween? Yeah. I like Halloween better. Oh, man. You're really getting my goat. What do you like better? Santa or Halloween? Yeah. I like Halloween better. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Halloween's way better. Way better. Yeah. Yeah. It is way better. Because you get to wear a costume.

Yeah. You get to wear a costume. The kids out there, they're fucking, they're cute. They're funny. Yeah. Yeah. That's true. Kids have no, kids don't do shit for Christmas.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. Kids hate Christmas. yeah yeah that's true kids have no kids don't do shit for Christmas yeah yeah exactly kids hate Christmas but also like a couple years ago it was over by Douglas Park they have a

basketball court there and some teen had set off fireworks and like a little tiny bit of fire happened and the fire department

had to come in and just like you know snuff it out like two like one spray of the fire department had to come in and just like, you know, snuff it out. Like two, like one spray of the fire extinguisher. The whole truck was there. Oh,

they'll bring the whole truck for anything. I love it. I love it. Uh, so that was, they love going down that pole. Yeah. All the phones ringing.

Yeah. Yeah. Get down that pole. I think making some firehouse chili. Well, it'll, it'll keep, but I just turned the air fryer firehouse chili. Well, it'll keep.

I'll just turn the air fryer on. Yeah. Well, it's actually a fire hazard if I leave it. Yeah. We'll use the one in the truck. What if the fire hall burns down? We'll look like quite a couple of dinguses. There's two of them.

We told you, you have anxiety. You have to go talk to someone about that. Can't be a firefighter and be this anxious about fire. I know, but I'm just just it's so scary and hot it's all you think about yeah i don't mind fire in other people's houses i kind of want to be the hero to them i'm very worried about burning down the firehouse can we be fired can we are we too old to become firefighters oh my yes yeah i think we're mostly too weak yeah Yeah, that, I went. We could change that. We could all change that.

Nope. Guys, let's train. Yeah. Oh, train to be firemen? No, let's just do like a little train around the house. Oh, like a conga line, yeah. Choo, choo. I went to like, what did you say?

Like an introduction meeting or just kind of like, what would you call it? Orientation? Orientation. But for being a fireman, cause I was just curious. I'm so curious. First of all, it happens in a place in town.

I've never, ever been to before. It's way. Fire hall theater. We're allowed to use this cause it's got fire in the name. So watch out, you know, brick fire pizza and also.

Oh, sure. But yeah, Halloween, loving it. And every. Wait, you finished what you're saying about your orientation. Oh, God. Yeah. So you to start, you need to be basically like a green beret. Like, wow, it's there. like, we want you to have certification

in this, and this, and this. And if you have this it wouldn't hurt, and also this. So these are everybody in there was built like... That makes sense. They were all ready to carry anything. They were like, hey, carry this on your back. You need to be able to carry stuff. Yeah, and then my knees buckled immediately. And then the other guys had to help me.

It's the safest place to hurt yourself. You're just watching the rest of the orientation with one of those blankets on that's like silvery. Did you just finish a marathon? No. I hurt myself at firefighting orientation. They threw a hose at me and I couldn't handle it.

Yeah. There's no way I couldn't handle that hose even for two seconds it would be launching me into the second story wasn't even watering it bros before hoses is what i've always said yes you have always i'm gonna go hang out with my bros that's where you save a man in a burning house before they start watering it yeah don't worry guys I got this one Frozen 4 Halloween Right That means a trip To Spirit Halloween

Which is moved It's moved Now it's where the old brick Used to be Sure Nobody beats it Apparently Spirit Halloween does

Yeah Oh shit They just didn't see it coming That's all They thought nobody Virus Spirit Halloween is a host It's a parasite

yeah but there's what they have at this it's all costumes they've got all sorts of costumes accessories kind of spooky Halloween accessories

you can get a Beetlejuice mug you can get Nightmare Before Christmas you know door hanging oh okay there's a hot topic

situation going on a little bit. Yeah. There's a, Oh, there was a, the coolest one was like a door. It was like a,

not quite a doorbell, but like a door knocker. You pressed the thing and then it was the voice. Yeah. Hey, welcome. Yeah. Welcome to spooky town.

Hope you're bringing some treats and not just tricks. I don't fucking know. I'm a Christmas guy. That's as good as anything. I like Christmas. It was the secretary. You can't like both. It was the secretary from Beetlejuice in the waiting room.

And she just talks. Anyways, it was great. Too much money. And where would I put it? Yeah. But they have all these things. And then they also have animatronics oh yes yes yeah and those are the best the things yes like jump out at you jump

out at you or or you know light up and talk and just get rained on for the next uh you want to talk about green oh yeah get some kind of ultrasonic bathtub for my green skeleton yeah and there was there were four that were on display and and then there was one in the corner

that was a spider that jumps at you and that was the best one by a country mile that was so good because you didn't know you just sat there and you didn't

there was no timing to it so just randomly I like that there was a woman who at first she's just screaming and you're like there's no timing to it. So just randomly, I like that. There was, um, Oh, a woman who at first she just screaming and you're like, is this all there's going to be?

Do you work here? And then her head snaps off. And that was great. Whoa. It was really unexpected. Um, are they a little too macabre? Yeah,

I think, I mean, they've, it's gotten more macabre than it used to be. I used to bring my kids there just like a month before Halloween just to be like, just to kill an afternoon and be like...

Because they like the things, but I know they would never ask me to buy them. Yeah, because they're like $400. Yeah, they're expensive. And too scary? Well, yeah, that as well. But like, not too scary for them to like do once in a store. Yeah. But like, you don't want to bring that up.

Your kid's not like, I can't stop thinking about that werewolf with the glowing eyes. That werewolf that pulls his pants down and jumps out and pulls his pants down. My brother, or no, my sister-in-law ended up buying her son a cackling witch one because he was throwing a fit. Yeah. And she was just like, fine. It's a Canadian tire. It's 25 bucks. Have you been to Home Depot and seen the 12-foot tall skeleton?

Yes, I love him. They have the 12-foot skeleton, but now they've added more. Are there 12-foot things? There's a 12-foot skeleton. Really? Yeah. Oh, shit. more and there's 12 foot things there's a 12 foot skellington really yeah oh shit i've seen uh there's a big house over on uh i don't know if i need to dox them yeah you don't have to dox them but we'll swat them but it's just it's like animatronic as well it's 12 feet tall and like

the mouth moves in it oh i love it i love it um there's uh I can't remember what the third one was, but the second one was, uh, Mars attacks, big Mars attacks, alien lit up and made sounds of the laser guns and stuff like that. I don't know why Mars attacks. Cause that's not a current. I think it's just Tim Burton has got his hands in every, uh, King of Halloween. Yeah. The kids all, my kids came home from school and they're like we

want to be ed wood for halloween we want to dress up as ed wood okay and then there was one that was a scarecrow and it was it failed all the all the bucks it didn't pass the bechdel test uh it so standing in front of it, just looking right at it, his head was at an angle that you couldn't see his face. So I don't know if that had been screwed on wrong or whatever.

And then his eyes lit up. And then he just does this like long monologue where he's just like, and I'll get you. And here's how I'll get you. I'll put you in the backyard and I'll bury you with the shovel

that you left near me. It just goes on and on and you're like, does it do anything? Does his head fall off or does straw shoot out at me? It's just the monologue and that turns off.

Yeah, reads the soliloquy. That place, I haven't been to it. I never went to the brick when it was the brick. It's pretty scary. Is it as big

as the old location at Mountain of Kona? No, the Mountain of Kuma Co-op? No, the Mountain of Kuma. They had a whole display you could walk through at that time. Yeah. This one's much smaller, so it's just like four animatronics, all you get. And one in the other part of the room, but it was broken.

What is the weirdest costume you saw? Well, I can tell you exactly. It's branded from the show yellowstone okay yellowstone brand evan costner yeah cowboy hats gloves the uh you know i don't know what uh kind of top but all officially licensed yellowstone costume. That's cool. Whoa. Cause is that, is that, do kids love that? Or do kids love Yellowstone? Kids love Yellowstone.

But like, how would you know it was Yellowstone? Are they grown up sized? Yeah. Okay. But how would you know when somebody's walking in with a cowboy hat? I mean, there's a baseball hat that says Yellowstone on it.

Have you watched Yellowstone? No. I hear it's very good yeah i would watch it i don't have anything is it just about a sheriff i don't know man from the costumes it looks like kevin costner is like the patriarch of the dutton clan oh okay and they are uh they're ranchers maybe okay. Okay. Yeah. That's all checks. Yeah. But if you ever had kind of an idea that you would want to dress up like that, Spirit Halloween's got you covered. You can have a section.

Yeah. I remember last year or the year before, they had a lot of YouTubers. Like, famous YouTuber costumes. Oh, okay. PewDiePie. PewDiePie. Mr. Beast. Mr. Beast, man.

Shout out, Mr. Beast. If you're out there, let's collab. Yeah. Give me money. You're just giving money away, I think. I don't know. I've got a good idea for monster beast nuggets. I don't know what you're into now.

Yeah, what does he do? He does stunts. Yeah. I don't know how he became famous. I just know what he does now that he's famous. And it seems to be a lot of like charity. Yeah, it seems. But like entrapment charity. Yeah. Because he's now that he's famous. And it seems to be a lot of like charity. Yeah. It seems like entrapment charity.

Yeah. He's like you. It's weird. Like what? They have to answer questions. It's just stuff that's like it's like like going up to someone who is like, I don't know if this I think guess it's good. But going to someone who's like doesn't have a car, their car broke down.

It's like, here's porsche uh super crazy porsche it's yours and they're like obviously they're blown away but like the insurance on that and then if like something goes wrong with the porsche or like this ferrari now you gotta like what like yeah and if you're driving it say in a rougher neighborhood and you park it it's gonna be immediately getting stolen and you're not allowed to sell it that's right we it's transferred only to you um the uh yeah i don't get like i've heard he i heard who he was before i saw him and then i saw him and i was like and he got famous looking like that he just looked like a regular guy there's no like there's no like uh star quality yeah it's funny when you see somebody that's i look i look at the mirror every day i don't see

star quality far be it from me to criticize mr bees absolutely we love what he does give a porsche to everyone as far as i'm concerned uh but yeah it's like um yeah there's enough people that sometimes they end up on a red carpet you're like how'd they get there yeah what are they funny something like that what are they are they super strong what are they what ability am i overlooking here yeah i feel like youtubers should be like superheroes where you're like okay this is the fast one this is the fast one this guy controls the weather. This guy turns into a beast.

This guy just gets really mad. This guy has a stick and does magic tricks. Which one's that? Gambit. Didn't he also do cards? Yeah, and he's also from Louisiana. He's Cajun. He's Cajun. I reckon I'm Cajun. Was this your

card? He does say stuff like that,'m Cajun Was this your card? He does say stuff like that This your done in here card Oh, I'm down in the bayou We gotta go It passed me my stick I gotta get going No, those aren't my cards My cards glow

My cards are the ones that glow I don't know how Cajun No, you did You're nailing it Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah Of course, Dr. Claw Dr. Claw we did earlier I don't know how Cajun No you did You're nailing it Yeah Yeah Of course Dr. Claw

Dr. Claw we did earlier Dr. Claw would be a good YouTuber Chop this one up He could He could also be a good Costume If you had the chair

So you're facing Out from the back of the chair And you've got the silver hand I think like Some people would really get it And lose their minds And the rest of the people Would be like What the hell Okay here's a lose their minds and the rest of the people would be like, what the hell?

Here's a costume idea, a naughty costume idea for the adult department. Nasty. Nice. And it would be nasty Inspector Gadget. Oh, yes. And all it is is a trench coat with a hat and like the tip of a dildo. Nice.

Attached to a spring. So you see a spring dangling at the bottom of your... And so people just think like, what the hell's wrong with this inspector guy?

Why is he wearing so much lingerie? It's crazy. He's usually a trench coat guy. No, it is a trench coat. It's got a dangling

spring wiener at the bottom. I like it. Yeah, it's good. should we move on to some overheards yeah let's do it people say not to judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree which is why here on just the zoo of us we judge them by so much more we rate animals out of 10 in the categories of effectiveness ingen ingenuity, and aesthetics, taking into consideration each animal's true strengths. Like a pigeon's ability to tell a Monet from a Picasso, or a polar bear's ability to play basketball.

Guest experts like biologists, ecologists, and more join us to share their unique insight into the animal's world. Listen with friends and family of all ages on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get podcasts. It's the final week of Co-Optober. I'm Richard Robey, producer, and I'm here with... KT Wigman, operations specialist. To cap off National Co-op Month, we're sharing how worker-owned co-ops can benefit their communities. Read about it in our newsletter or on social media at MaxFunHQ. We're also trying to do our part. We're volunteering at our local food bank this week,

and we encourage you to volunteer in your area too. On Friday, we're announcing the donation that you helped raise in the Post Max Fund Drive sticker sale, going to five food banks across the U.S. And we want to make sure that you know this is your last chance to get our limited edition Launch Crew merch. Grab a pin, hat, shirt, or hoodie before they disappear at the end of the month. Details on merch, resources for volunteering, and all things Co-Optober can be found at MaximumFun.org slash Co-Optober. That's C-O-O-P-T-O-B-E-R. Thank you so much for your support and a great Co-Optober. Overheard.

Overheards. You hear them? We want them. And we always like to start with the guests. Aaron, what's something funny you've overheard? Okay, this was from the summer. Oh, no. This was from last summer.

Are you Cajun? I can't remember what the Cajun joke was, but I was at the mall in Victoria, and I was killing time. I was over there doing shows, and I was at the mall, and there's this group of high school kids, and they're all kind of walking, and they're all just hanging out. And then I was walking behind them, and then one of them goes like, Do you think your mom could beat up my mom?

And then there was about eight of of them and they all went, oh yeah, my mom. Yeah. No, my mom could beat up your, but they all just kind of went and be like, no,

my mom could beat up your mom. And it was just this huge, it was like eight moms were being like, kind of, discussed, championed. Yeah. And it was really funny.

All these moms were like No no no I got the meanest mom No I got a I got a mom that Wouldn't beat the shit Out of your mom I think

That would be great Cause then you Create brackets And have a tournament Yeah Who becomes the strongest mom I'd watch that Yeah

You know mom to gone Yeah You guys How do you feel About your mom's Combat skills My mom would not Do well My mom I think Would do pretty well She's to gone. Yeah. You guys, how do you feel about your mom's combat skills? My mom would not do well.

My mom, I think, would do pretty well. She's, I don't think, she wouldn't back down. Oh, my mom's going to

beat me up when she finds it. I think my mom would be, see, this is how I think it'd happen. My mom would, yeah,

I think my mom would be good at it. Yeah. Yeah. I think she's strong. Okay. I think she, she could probably

tap into some old feelings that rage weren't resolved rage yeah um so

I like that I think she'd be pretty good and I've also when I was younger I've seen my mom stressed and and and

and and so I think a stress a fight a fight is stressful so I think she would

she would do okay she would do good yeah yeah okay um the uh yeah I like the group of teens A fight is stressful, so I think she would do good. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I like the group of teens who maybe all know each other's moms and maybe make a bracket. And also maybe judging on what type of food they serve. Like, oh, yeah, that's a real protein rich.

Yeah, your mom makes spicy food, so that's good. It angers the blood. Dave, do you have an. Anger's the blood. Dave, do you have an overheard? Suppose I do. This one is one that I could never forget. And I know it offhand, and I don't need to look it up. And the thing about this one is it's made out of words, and the words are on the tip of my tongue. So from all of us here, and stop podcasting yourself,

let's hear it for overheard. Hooray! This was... I was at the International Village Cinema. Nice. My children and I had just seen Ruby Gilman, Teenage Kraken.

Okay. You gotta check it out. Wow. This is a Disney property? No, this is Ruby Gilman, Teenage Kraken. Okay. You got to check it out. Wow. This is a Disney property? No. This is DreamWorks. DreamWorks. Okay.

Yeah. It's about a teenage Kraken named Ruby Gilman. I see. It's a hard time to be a Kraken. Yeah. Yeah, they get released, et cetera. But as we were leaving, this was during the Vancouver International Film Festival, although the movie I saw was not part of that. Okay.

But the theater was showing film festival movies, and as we were walking in, I noticed that there was like a cordoned off the Platinum Lounge, the Vancouver International Film Festival Platinum Lounge. Ooh. And it was like a bunch of tables in the middle of the lobby of the movie theater for you to hang out at if you were a platinum member wow uh nothing no like free drinks or anything anywhere yeah no snacks no one also no one in there uh right so you'd be isolated. So I walked past that and then watched the movie.

And then as the movie was letting out, I did see one guy sitting, taking his break in the Platinum Lounge. No good. And he's just a volunteer for the film festival. And this old man walks up to the guy sitting there he goes still nobody in your platinum lounge always empty and the guy sitting there ignored him like as as though he's been dealing with this old man all day hey can i get in that platinum lounge just get in there see that there's nothing and then hit the road yeah i guess your friends didn't show up yeah well it must be awfully lonely at the top yeah um yeah i remember i think it was

at just for laughs there was a comedian that had um roped off area but but they were like, you could stand right next to them. It was literally only the rope that separated you from them. And you could meet them? You could talk to them,

yeah. Oh, okay. Or is this among other comedians? Yeah. Oh, okay. But it was weird, it was weird

to have a roped off area. Please, stay a few feet back from Mr. Howie Mandel. You would have to. Oh, yeah, he's a germophobe germaphobe yeah oh yeah oh man that guy you know he pretty much owns just for laughs which is amazing that's crazy

yeah it's uh it's all worked out it's all worked out for you know in my face how he does it yeah that's how we do it what did he do what's that's just how he does what is it uh does he own was he like on a show for a while america's got talent maybe yeah he's still on it how did he get very famous how did he get very rich i think he he was the host of deal or no deal yes and before that he had been like uh just kind of a personality yeah oh. A comedian. Oh, yeah. Deal or no deal. He did Bobby's World. Yeah.

And he was like a stand-up. And I remember that he would like blow up a surgical glove on his head. But like a lot of stand-ups aren't buying comedy festivals. No, that's true. But he, I think Americans got talent. I think he's like part of an agency that bought Just for Love. And we wish him the best. Yeah.

Yeah. Merry Christmas. Yeah, and we wish him the best. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, Christmas, Christmas, hello, happy, how,

how, hello, Halloween, Howie Halloween. Nice. Howie Halloween. Yep. Well,

we did it. You guys, what did we do? My overheard is a, a couple of young, I would say probably if I had to guess, let's say 16 or 17. And one of them was saying to the other,

we're so fucked. The government tells us there's aliens and we're like, oh, well. It's true. We didn't, there wasn't a lot of buy-in. It wasn't the government. Wasn't it in the states?

They said like UFOs. Yeah, it was a guy. Didn't a guy give testimony and no one stopped him? Yeah, but then they opened it up and they said there are UFOs. Oh, they did. And they showed all that footage. Yeah. And there's an alien autopsy.

That was funny. The one from Mexico? Yeah. The tiny little guy? Oh, that one was great. I love that. And that apparently happens once every few years. We found one. The tiny little guy? Oh, that one was great. I love that. And that apparently happens once every few years.

They go like, we found one. It was from Mexico? Yeah. Yeah, I think it was like. And it literally looked like it was made out of piñata mixture. Yeah, it looked like a piñata or like a cake made out of a lot of fondant. I like the way it looked. It was cute.

It was cute. Yeah. I think it looked cute. It just didn't convince me that it was a real guy. Yeah, it just looked like somebody who had seen E.T. once. Yeah. And just saw him. Well, that's as far as I know, isn't it? And he was, like, chilling in a coffin.

That's right. He was in some other coffin. I guess he was on an operating table or something like that. They just find candy inside. They're like, oh, it literally is a pinata. Holy shit. Patch it up. Patch it up.

He's going to make more. We also have overheard sent in to us by people all over the map. If you want to be one of those people, send it in to spy at maximumfund.org. This first one comes from Bob in Country Durham, UK. Overheard a kid at a museum exhibit of a Victorian-era dentist's office.

And the kid was saying, I'm going to do the most illegal thing in the world. I just ate sweets inside of a dentist's. Whoa. That is kind of the biggest flex you could do as a kid. Although the dentist will have the last laugh there. That's true. Yeah. He'll always get more business drummed up kind of the biggest flex you could do as a kid yeah although the dentist will have the last laugh there that's true yeah uh he'll always get more business drummed up kind of thing hot man can't he's so good i think i need to switch dentists i don't like mine but i think the reason i don't

like them is because i resent that they went into dentistry you're looking down on dentists yeah i know i just uh i yeah i don't like going yeah no me either i uh my dentist just left so now i'm with a new guy i don't know about this guy's he's fine he's not as chatty as him so that's good yeah good side but i've still got my old family dentist do you yeah never let them go yeah he's cool he is really cool he always he wants yeah he's cool he's got a lot of opinions about um kind of like culture and like in the cancel culture kind of but not he doesn't dip into like a bad territory but he's definitely got anyways he's cool yeah and he gives me good deals on teeth nice yeah he's like you got a big

you got a big chunk missing out on that one but he knows that I don't I can't afford that so he's like I'm like well can I leave it

he's like yep yeah I'm like okay there's a couple teeth in the lost and found we'll see if those fit yeah

pretty much but he's very generous and cool shout out I don't think he listens to this oh he does okay

yeah Dr. T Dr. T what is classical he played oh I was always jealous as a kid cool shout out i don't think he listens to this oh he does okay yeah um dr t dr t what is classical you he played oh i was always jealous as a kid because other kids would be like yeah i was at the dentist and we that my dentist has super nintendo that you can like play with and then they're like what's your dentist like i mean they never asked that but my dentist was like uh he would just play plastic classical music and and talk to you about kind of like politics and stuff like that. So it was this very dry, intense time.

Yeah. And then opera would be going as he's like injecting you. Too dramatic. Yeah, it was a bit. My dentist would say, open big and wide and would make me wear sunglasses. Who's a cool guy? And she would put her heavy boobs on my head. Yeah.

Yeah. I, shout out to Dr. Dr. T. Yeah. The last time I was a dentist this past week ago, at one point he said,

whoa, he was looking at my teeth. I was like, well, that's not good. That's not a word that you wanted to say. But he said, that one's going to be hard to floss. Turns out, I don't floss. So there, take that dentist. Nice. That's moot. This next one comes from Mark.

Parts unknown. A couple of teens are standing around a vending machine and an adult walks up. Adult, you're taking too long. Teens, it stole our money. Adult, that's what vending machines do. Who is this? Adult. Yeah. Welcome to adulthood, teens.

Aren't you scared of teens? You're taking too long. Yeah, what's it to you old man? Switchblade out. Yeah. The funny thing about a group of teens is that when you see them far away, very scary. As you approach, still very scary. Then as soon as you pass them and they're just talking about some fucking tech thing, you're like, oh yeah, they're not scary at all.

They're just a bunch of nerds. Just three boys talking about meal prepping. I take the bus with a lot of teens and i always i do always hate it when i'm like on the bus is full i'm like what time is it oh it's fucking just after three so riding with a bunch of high school kids is crazy sometimes it's funny but yeah most of the time they're just like sorry i'm so loud i know it's okay i'm turning you up most of the time they're just uh yeah they're just kind yeah, they're just kind of weird. They're just weirdos. Yeah, they're weirdos. Yeah. Yeah.

I think, yeah. Yeah, I went to, we have a mailbox in Blaine, Washington, and I went this morning and I was like, oh, I'm trying to time it perfectly. So I would get to be able to get to Taco Bell right around lunchtime. But then I realized, oh, there's a high school right next to that Taco Bell. I've got to hurry. Yeah. Because they would run out of tacos daily.

Oh, yeah. I would be like, you know, 50th in line for my Jimmy Chunga Supreme. Yeah. Crunch wrap. That happens to me a lot when I go to McDonald's on a Friday. Usually there's huge,

like the most recent, there was a SUV limo outside of the McDonald's and it was a bunchv limo outside the mcdonald's and it was a bunch of teens and they were just having the time of their life yeah no tough to get those through the drive-thru oh yeah it is yeah the one on the one near my house especially yeah the um starbucks seems to attract oh yeah a lot of because they can get a free cup of water and a starbucks cup yeah and then they could show it off to their friends. Check this out. I really went there. That's so sick. I got it autographed

with my name by the person. They're also getting a coffee at like 4 p.m. so I don't... Maybe teens can sleep with that much caffeine. I think they can. I think I'm going to try a pumpkin spice latte again. Oh, I've never had one. Me neither. I have one every few years and I'm always like, I don't think I like these.

Not pumpkin-y enough. I think the next time the shamrock shake comes around, I'm going to have it. Are you going to get it? I had one last year. I haven't had it for 15 years. Do you remember

the Halloween pumpkin shake that was, I think, orange flavored but orange colored? No. I swear to God, that was the thing

at McDonald's. I can picture it. It's orange with black things in it. No. No? Just orange. You guys have that

Grimace shake? I didn't. No. Did you? No. No. What was it No No? Just orange Do you guys have that Grimace shake? I didn't No Did you? No No What was it, grape? I don't know

It was just purple But maybe it was grape Yeah It's funny how easy it is To send the internet into a tizzy Yeah And you're like We got Grimace shakes

Everybody's losing their mind Yeah It's just weird Yeah It's supposed to be something weird Yeah Yeah Which is cool You know what? The kids are alright That's what I have to say We bought a zoo I can't The kids bought a zoo Everybody's losing their mind. Yeah. It's just weird. Yeah. It's supposed to be something weird. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is cool. You know what? The kids are all right. That's what I have to say. We bought a zoo. I can't. The kids bought a zoo. I can't find it. When I Google McDonald's Halloween shake, it's just coming up with the grimmest one.

And then maybe some kind of trick or treat McFlurry. I tried the McDonald's chicken Big Mac. I tried that one a couple times. Yeah. It was okay. Yeah? Yeah. It seemed weird to me. Oh, it's two I tried that one a couple times. Yeah? It was okay. Yeah? Yeah. It seemed weird to me.

Oh, it's two chicken patties? Yeah. Huh. Yeah. And then they got this new Ranch Biscuit Crisp I've told people about. I've had it. I had it last night, and the amount of mayo they put on it was like, it was fucking crazy. Crazy good?

Crazy bad? No, no. Just like, it was challenging me. Is it mayo, or is it ranch, if it's ranch? See, the first time I got the Ranch Biscuit Crisp, there was no mayo on it, and it was ranch. It was just ranch. I was like, this is perfect. or is it ranch if it's ranch see the first time i got the ranch but crisp there was no mayo on it and it was ranch it was just ranch i was like this is perfect this is great you don't need both both are essentially the same thing one just has horseradish in it or whatever yeah that's there's so much you're so wrong about that what is in ranch oh some listeners have

corrected oh really yeah okay uh there's's maybe a buttermilk involved. Okay. Something sour. Yeah. But anyways, and then they had the mayo and the ranch. And then last night, I don't even think there was ranch on it. It was just a mayo. Just mayo.

Going against the whole spirit of the thing. It's got ranch right in the name. This last one comes from Mel in Vancouver. Hey, Mel. Hey, Mel. Hey, Mel. Hey, Mel. Just ordered at a taco truck, and this was the exchange in front of me. Cashier, can I get your name?

Customer, Hamish. Cashier, huh? Customer, Hamish. Cashier, huh? Customer, Bob. Cashier, great. Thanks, Bob. I'm going to bully you until you use a name that I am not scared of hearing and saying out loud.

Yeah. And getting wrong. I mean, yeah, I can. It's so loud in a coffee shop. I'm surprised they can get anybody's name. Hamish is a. Is it? Is that a name that used to be popular or have there always just been like one Hamish for a generation?

I don't. Is it a biblical name? I think popular, or have there always just been like one Hamish for a generation? I don't. Is it a biblical name? I think it's Scottish. Oh, really? Yeah, it's definitely UK Hamish. Yeah, probably Scottish. Sounds like the right. I always hate when I say my name, because I guess everyone does this, or you have a name that you use,

but I always over-pronounce it just because I feel like that step, they're trying to spell it or say it or something. And I always just feel weird about how I say it. I go Aaron. Aaron, you know what I mean? Yeah. I only say it once, but. I only, I, only name I give is Tom. Tom, that's a good call. Yeah. Yeah, Tom. Because I know it doesn't matter. Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't. And it saves me a lot of. And it's not like Do you ever feel like If the person recognizes you

They're like Oh that's Graham He's calling himself Tom Is he like He thinks he's so famous That he has to disguise his name That is probably why The people at JJB

Can give me the The side eye In addition to overhears That are written And we also accept Your phone calls If you want to call us Our phone number is

1-844-779-7631. That's one. Ugh. SpyPod 1, like these people have. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Brent from Georgia. Just calling an overheard. My family and I were up in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee last weekend for my son's fall break,

and we were at Dollywood, and most of the people there were Southerners, as far as I could tell, like myself. And so we were in this little tiny gift shop, and this guy started speaking, and instantly kind of his voice cut through the crowd because he sounded like John Travolta from the late 70s, like Vinnie Barberito,

or whatever they call him. Vinnie Barber, crap. Vinnie Margarita? So he hung up, but he did call back. Aw. Here he comes again. I like this guy. Hey, Dave and Graham,

this is Brent from Georgia, calling with an overheard. I was up in Tennessee this past weekend with my family at Dollywood and overheard a guy in a small gift shop talking to his girlfriend. And he goes, hey, Ashley. Ashley, did you see this? I know you saw this. You never guess what they got.

They got Dolly Parton Funko Pops. We got so many Funko Pops. Thanks, guys. Love the show. It's a crossover you thought would never happen. Funko Pops. I could have just played the second one, but you had to know

that he was trying to do Vinnie Bartlett. It was pretty good. I like that he dropped it, the part that he got hung up. Yeah. I'm not going to go through that again. I'm not going to go through that again.

I don't want to. That was embarrassing. I love, I love it. Yeah. You guys have any Funko Pops? I have one that somebody gave me of Justin Timberlake.

Nice. And I've been, I've brought it to probably about nine laugh galleries to give away. It always ends up back. Huh. Yeah. Nobody wants it. back. Huh? Yeah.

Nobody wants it. Yeah. Um, more and more people are going to not want it when this Brittany book comes out. I'll put it up on Facebook free, uh, on the day that comes out and be like,

have a memory of the guy from the book. Yeah. Oh, you guys, as anyone organizing a, uh, Timberlake burning. Yes.

Yeah. The way they did with Beatle records. Oh yeah. But now we're just doing it with Funko Pops. Yeah. Or what they did like the thing in the 70s, like the disco demolition. Here's your next...

Are you guys talking? Nope. Not worth it. Hi, Dave, Graham Graham and probable guest. This is Tegan calling in from Calgary with an overheard. I was home in my hometown of Tabor this summer and sitting in the car with my cousin when a guy walked by outside and exclaimed loudly, the balls on that dog. And we looked up

and sure enough, there was a dog with the largest balls I've ever seen. Well, off I go. It is, I think if you live in the city, it's less and less likely that you'll ever see a dog with balls. So then when you see it, it's like, whoa. Before we had him

fixed, they were quite a sight to behold. And they're funny on dogs because they kind of like get tucked in the back. Or they don't. When the dog like lies down on its side and they just rest on a pillow next to them. While we're throwing away that pillow. Yeah, I saw like a bulldog downtown. I was like, this is probably is probably you know meant to breed more

bulldogs i guess but man they were low i was surprised they weren't on the concrete could you tie them in the knot could you tie them in a bow yes absolutely um i uh the first dog i ever remember having giant balls was that the guy, when I played in a band, the guy who owned the practice space that we used, he had a dog named Dave who had enormous balls.

A white pit bull, I believe. Whoa. Yeah. Usually one of those dogs. Yeah. You ever see a golden retriever with just like giant

swang and like hairy. But like their, their hair would naturally kind of obscure it. Yeah. It'd be like a willow tree. But with a bulldog, like, there's nothing there. I feel like in Europe, in cities in Europe, you'd see them. I feel like bulldog balls are kind of like when people, like, trim their pubic hair and they do it too much.

Yeah. You know, and I guess I'm talking about me. I guess so. So now we know. It looks like mold talk balls. Mold talk balls striking on the ground. With Ditka. With Ditka.

Hey, Chicago. Final phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Jake from Phoenix, Arizona. Calling to give you an overheard. I was just in the Chick-fil-A drive-thru here this morning waiting for my sandwich to be made. give you an overheard. I was just in the Chick-fil-A drive-thru here this morning, waiting for my sandwich to be made. As I was waiting, they left the drive-thru window open so I could hear the staff kind of talking amongst themselves. And one of the girls I heard say,

what is the difference between a hamster and a gerbil? And everyone else kind of collectively was like, oh, I don't know and uh she very emphatically said i have been asking this question for quite some time and no one has been able to give me an answer as if she had uncovered some type of hidden hamster gerbil conspiracy or something anyways love the show guys thanks a lot off i go do you know the difference no no i mean either no idea um but they are different animals i they are different yeah but if it was if that was a scratch or it you're trying to scratch when you just go on the internet yeah google that one yeah like it's not if it was like i don't know i feel like there

are certain questions that it's better to get the answer from a human being. But a question like that, it's, it's made for Google. Yeah. Yeah. Um, let's just say, so I'm, what am I Googling? Uh, what difference between hamsters and gerbils? So there are three times as many,

uh, results for Richard Gere hamster as there are for Richard Gere gerbil. It must suck to be a celebrity is like that thing from the nineties is still from the eighties. still... From the 80s, I believe. From the 80s, yeah. Yeah. Richard Gere's been with us for a long time. He still looks great.

Gerbils have an appearance that closely resembles a rat or mouse and can reach up to four inches in length. They have a long and soft tail. Ew. And enjoy standing on their hind legs. Hamsters are generally fuller and larger and up to six inches in length. Unless they are the dwarf breed. So here's what they are.

They're different animals. Okay. The same species? No. Different species. Wow. Weird. No one's like, hey, what's the difference between a shrew and a hamster?

There's a million of these little rodents. Yeah. Yeah. It's true. Was there even a shrew In a hamster There's a million Of these little rodents Yeah Yeah It's true Well Thanks everybody For calling in Yeah thanks for calling

Thanks for writing Thanks for supporting Yeah And Aaron Thank you so much For being our guest Oh thanks for having me You are

The date Of release Of your comedy special Yeah November 30th Yeah No more no less No more, no less. No more, no less

on that exact day. And it's called what should people be looking for? Softbug Ego Jazz. Softbug Ego Jazz. I think that's the name. That's what I've been calling it.

It better be the name. It better be the name. Yeah, that is the name. That is the name. You've tossed around a brand here. Yeah, yeah. That is the name. Yeah, that'll be, that'll be the, yeah. Check it around a brand here. Yeah, that is the name. Yeah, that'll be it.

Check it out when it comes out. We'll mention it again when it comes out. Yeah. It'll be on YouTube. But there's no one funnier than our friend Aaron. Yeah. If you haven't seen Aaron do stand-up, you are missing out. Oh, my God.

Thank you. And now if you're like somebody who's too far away to go see him live, you can have a little taste online. Check it out. Yeah. Edited by not a real editor. So what? Edited by me. Well, thank you very much and thank you to everybody out there

listening. We love you. We love to see your YouTube special if you're putting one out. Leave me in touch and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself Maximum Fun

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