Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 815 - Kate Davis

Episode Date: October 31, 2023

Comedian Kate Davis joins us to talk dying, tombstone recipes, and acupuncture.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka. And he's Graham Clark. And together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 815 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who's wearing a fun new shirt. It says Fried Chicken USA, Dave Shumka. Well Graham, I told you about this a few weeks ago, about how this was a few years ago, like Kentucky Fried Chicken put out its own merchandise line, including this Fried Chicken USA sweatshirt when they're on eBay for like $300.

Oh, shit. And then I was like, you know what? I haven't looked on eBay for a while. I looked again. It was significantly less. This was in two figures. This was under $ hundred dollars i bought okay okay uh i don't want to say but uh i've been tracking it down for six years i finally got it

and it's very soft i love it cozy is it front is it like uh is the lettering raised is that the lettering is sewn on sewn on okay yeah nice the label on the back has you can't see it but it's got uh colonel sanders this is the best yeah and um the other thing graham i told you a few weeks ago about because i got i got a couple things in the mail all at once i told you a few weeks ago about the victoria bc BC baseball team called the Victoria Muscles. Yes, with the muscle with a muscle. Yeah, and the logo is a muscle like the shellfish with muscles. And wearing a hat.

Oh yeah, and it's wearing a hat. And now I'm wearing the hat. This is it. This is the best look. This is David's finest. Yeah. So I'm really all decked out. This is the best look. This is David his finest. Yeah. Our guest today, first time guest here on the podcast.

She will be in Vancouver at the Chutzpah Festival. And it's great to have her here. It's Kate Davis. Hi, Kate. Hello. So nice to be here, guys. Nice to have you here. How are things?

Things are good. Can I just say your fried fried chicken u.s sweatshirt it's not even the colors of connecticut of kentucky fried chicken yeah i know that's what's so great about it it doesn't say kentucky fried chicken i mean it says fried chicken uh but it uh it mentions all 50 states in a way um yeah it's i don't know there's something about it that it just drew me to it yeah yeah it's yeah it looks like the type of sweater that a character in a movie would wear and then they would make knockoffs of it yeah what are you looking at dick nose yes yes exactly for pedro and whatnot um and uh you? It's, it's just aesthetic. Like I fried chicken, not my favorite food,

actually kind of a problematic food for me where it usually makes me feel pretty bad. What about you, Kate? Where do you stay on the stand on the fried chicken? Oh, it depends who makes it for sure. And it depends how high I am.

Oh, sure. Absolutely. So if you're like maximum high is that kfc time or absolutely yeah yeah yeah absolutely at least once a year yeah oh once a year wow once a year that's when i was a kid that when i was a kid we would get it once a year and it was a monumental event and the house would smell like fried chicken for several days after. Yeah. We had my mother,

like every summer would be like, guys, let's get a bucket and go to the beach. And not a bucket for the sand or multitasking. Oh yeah. You know what? After we finished the chicken, we could make a little castle,

a little slimy castle, a little castle full of chicken bones. Yeah. Life is good when you're a kid oh yeah i mean or when you're a seagull um should we get to know us yes get to know us kate this is your first time on the podcast very hilarious comedian from are you originally from Toronto, Ontario? Yeah. I was born in England, but then I moved here when I was four. So I consider myself from Toronto. Sure.

And your parents are English? They are British. Oh, wow. Very impressive. Good accent. Thanks. Thanks a lot. Do they have English traditions, tea and whatnot, or are they fully given that up? Oh, no, absolutely not.

They are full on tea totalers. Yeah, absolutely. Never a coffee, always a tea. Anything happens, cup of tea. You know? Yeah, absolutely. What about cakes? I feel like English people are crazy about cakes.

They, my mother is, I am amazed. She hasn't turned into a cake. She's just, she's just full of, well, she's sort of shaped like one now,

but she's just for me. Yeah. Hey, uh, no, she's just, she loves her, her sweets and her chocolate and her cakes and her tea.

Yeah. Yeah. Full on British redhead. Full on. Yeah. Like the full. Yeah. Yeah.

Full English, we would call full English. Bad teeth. You know, full English. Yeah. I feel like English people now have really great teeth. You can't spot them by their teeth. No, not anymore. Yeah.

Yeah, it's true have you do you ever have this when you're watching a movie and then you realize that the person is speaking in a fake american accent and you feel a little bit betrayed when like somebody from australia or england puts on an american accent in a film i feel like it takes me out of it as soon as i know they're english and they've got yeah and they're talking hey we've got to escape the hunger games or just like shiv in succession like she's so british yeah she had a lot of trouble with some words yeah so you just it and i think it catches up to you but i'm i'm sort of shitty at accents as well so what do you need them for is well you know crime no go on

kidding I'm kidding we know you're kidding but what could you use this for well no no no people being caught doing murders because of podcasts it was a guy who Because of Tupac.

And he was like talking about it on all these podcasts. And they just arrested him for the death of Tupac. Yeah. I didn't get the full story on that. I didn't get the full English on that. I heard that the guy was talking it up. Or like he went on some podcasts and knew some things that that you could only know if you were involved. Oh, really?

Wow. And then I think he wrote a book. How I would have killed Tupac. Well, OJ did it. He wrote a book. Yeah. Basically explaining how to do what he was let off for doing. But God bless him he's still in prison or is he is he stop saying god bless oj you say it every week uh he's out of prison

he's on twitter okay he's on twitter good nice and broncos are back yeah Yeah, they are. They're looking good. I've never rode in a Bronco. Maybe never will. It's hard to say to myself. Yeah. Are they electric now? Ooh. I feel like every car sort of has that option now.

You can get an electric or a gas? That's right. The weirdest thing happened the other day where I was at the car wash, the in and out, and they did a great job on my car. I'm a little obsessed with the car wash, by the way, but they did a great job. Wait, stop. Explain why you're obsessed with the car wash, please. I just love a clean car. Every week I go to the car wash, but then every week, but I have to say. Wow. Okay. But then I had, I was an nester for oh like three years and my kids just moved back and they have cars but they never clean their cars so i started taking their cars

the car wash as well and then i think the guy at the car wash started thinking i was hitting on him because you bringing nice new fancy cars to his car wash yeah maybe maybe you wear this white t-shirt while you wash it that's right yeah but then okay so then regardless of him because it would sound creepy if it was if it happened with him but i they do a great job on my car i jump in i drive away and three minutes later some guy from the backseat pops up because I drove away with a guy in my car. And it took him three minutes? I guess he was wearing headphones, so I don't think he realized I was driving.

It reminds me of that ghost story about the, like, it's like a campfire story about, you know, a woman driving and then someone behind her is following her and keeps flashing the high beams on. And she's getting freaked out because someone keeps flashing high beams at her and they won't leave her alone and they keep following her. And then it turns out they're flashing it because there's a guy with a knife in the back seat and he's afraid of high beams or something i don't really know what the end of the story is yeah like i never understood

i remember hearing that story as a kid and freaking the fuck is he eventually like uh could you just let me out here so i had my earpods in but he wasn't a ghost or was he a ghost no he it wasn't a ghost story it was just like sort of a spooky story yeah yeah yeah um do you you have how many children three three three and they you said they moved back oh yes three years i was like clear my place was like clean and my food i come home whatever, whatever I left was there. And now two of them, I moved back. Yeah. Oh, it's the worst.

And how are they liking it? Are they going back to their old ways? Yeah. It was like, cause I see my siblings a few hours a week, maybe we don't fight, but if we lived in this house together, we would fight every day

that's interesting because my kids never really fought a lot it was more they bore each other's clothes and get mad about that more than anything but it's yeah my two i have a son who hasn't moved back but my two daughters have and now the son who hasn't moved back has he moved into first place uh in terms of oh yeah he was always in first place he's my son but the other two move back and now we just call each other roommates which is just weird because they don't pay rent yeah yeah exactly i'm like we're not roommates i'm still in charge are they just moving back is it a temporary thing or are they like we missed this we're coming back and we're never leaving again i hope it's temporary but then i heard one say even though i wasn't supposed to

hear it um i think i might just save on rent and go traveling. I'm like, that's not fair. Yeah. I know. And then I was thinking maybe I sell the house. So they all have to leave, you know? Yeah. Yeah. That's a,

well, unless there's some clause in there that says whoever's touches the house last gets to stay. There's often a clause like that. I, yeah, it's not easy for young people these days um no and i have two kids as who are nine and six and they moved out and now they're back they're back now yeah they spent

three years in the military um and we are um but no they're i am sort of like hmm i wonder if these kids are gonna live with me forever and you sort of do you hmm, I wonder if these kids are going to live with me forever. And you sort of, do you want them to or do you want them to adult? Oh, no, I would be happy if we had some weird Grey Gardens arrangement where they lived with me forever until, you know, I died and the cats ate me. See, that's always good. Always good. Yeah, parenting is just the days are long and the years are short and then you're sort of done

and then you think you've raised them so that they can take care of themselves and then they come back. So, you know what? You're screwed. I'm not raising them to take care of themselves no no and i i have to say i spoiled i think my son a bit more than i did my girls and they're the ones who are back i'm just i'm shocked huh maybe he just has more self-confidence because you treated him so nice that he's uh maybe yeah you know what does he do

what's what's his uh career path he's a musician how is he not moved on that's incredible he's actually he so he did this crazy course called the creation of sound it's electronic acoustic course at concordia and now he owns two of his own studios and he's... Holy shit. Wait, is your son Miles Davis? No. You know, but one out of three ain't bad. Is that the song? Oh no, that's

two out of three. Yeah, one out of three probably is bad. Yeah, I mean it's a great batting average are you a musician at all kate you know i i am a little bit i play the violin really badly but i enjoy it yeah yeah i do what do you play is it a classical are we talking fiddle time okay i grew up on classical and then i decided i was going to Irish fiddle, but that shit's fast. It is so fast. Yeah.

Like how many years are we talking violin wise? Violin. Well, since I was a kid, but then I stopped playing. And then when I quit smoking, I was like, okay,

instead of smoking every time I want a cigarette, I'm just going to play the violin. A lot of workplaces are now that fewer people smoke, they have instituted violin break. Yeah, good times. Yeah, just go out. A lot of high schoolers go out to the smoke pit and

fiddle. Yeah, no. And people from the states won't know this, I don don't think but we had like a famous fiddler in canada called ashley mckissick and he was that's right like an alt yeah cool fiddle yeah he was uh he was our indie rock no i guess yeah he was our alternative rock fiddle master yeah yeah yeah war kilt wet war kilt and like looked looked perfectly grungy and uh yeah you had a couple hits which is wild to think about yeah yeah but east coasters support themselves you know music wise i find yeah they do their own thing um yeah so you're a musician you're a mom you're a comedian

primarily a musician i think i think of you mostly as a violinist said i'm getting it right now no i'm not how long how long have you been doing doing the stand-up for have you always done stand-up or have you done sketch and improv and all that? No, I started stand-up when I was 29. I lived around the corner from a comedy club that was called Comedy Wood and it was owned by Boris the Hypnotist. Yeah. And, yeah, I just went in one night and started. And a lot of people who you know now were there, like Gavin Stevens and Alan Park, who passed away, was there that night. And Ron Jostle started that night. Did it have a thing where you had to show up and just wait to see if you made the list?

Yeah, it was one of those. And then there was only Yak Yaks and Laugh Resort. That was it. That was the only games in town back then. And I think like one or two open mics. But when I started, there was only seven women in the entire country doing comedy. So it was. Yeah.

Now there's eight or nine, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now there's. Yeah, yeah. There's thousands of very smart women comics coming up. It's pretty incredible. So did you mostly just by those numbers always just work with guys? Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah. I mean, there was Von Hagen, Laurie Elliott. Nikki came along later. Nikki Payne. Yeah. Laurie Ferguson. Lisa Gay Trombley, whone. Yeah. Laurie Ferguson. Lisa Gay Tremblay, who moved to L.A. And Martha.

And Martha Chavez. Martha Chavez. Okay. Yeah. Who's who? That's pretty much it. Did you do a lot of road stuff? Or are you just a flight?

Oh, my God. I've been across this country hundreds of times. Every little town you can imagine, I've performed at. Yeah? Lloyd Minster? Yeah. You've been to Lloyd Minster? Who hasn't been to Lloyd Minster? Every little town you can imagine I've performed at. Yeah? Lloydminster? You've been to Lloydminster? Who hasn't been to Lloydminster?

And if you haven't, you know, you're not missing anything. I mean, it's, I'm trying to remember what it looks like. Kind of a wasteland-ish kind of. Sad. It's a sad town, I think. Anybody from there would agree. It's Alberta? town. I think anybody from there would agree. It's Alberta. Is that an Alberta Graham?

Isn't it? Doesn't Lloyd Minster sit on the Saskatchewan border? Is that the right town that I'm thinking of? That's what I thought. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So they can stand in between wheat and cattle. Yeah.

Yeah. They can choose their time zone depending on what depending on how late they want to stay out. Yeah, it's hard to have a curfew if your town is across a time zone. Oh, that's not a bad bit. Well, also, some provinces are doing time zones, some aren't. I'm just confused now. I never know what time it is. Doing daylight savings, you mean?

Yeah. Yeah, everyone's saying. I never know what time it is. Doing daylight savings. You mean? Yeah. Yeah. They all, everyone's saying they're going to stop doing it. I haven't seen any action on that. Yeah. It's like a long, it's like a long breakup.

It's been stated that we're going to do it, but yeah, I, I don't understand how it works. If you don't do it, I guess it's just time just stays the same year round. Actually time stands still. Oh shit.

Yeah. It's weird. Um, no, yeah, it would get darker. It would, the mornings in the winter,

if you're like up North, the sun wouldn't come up till 10 in the morning. No, that sounds ideal. That sounds fantastic. Like if you were in Edmonton, they'd be dropping their kids off at school school like an hour before the sun comes up. Oh, that would be so weird.

But then you get super, super long days in the summer. Is that the trade-off? Your days are just as long, Greg. The sun isn't affected. But I thought they stopped daylight savings time in Saskatchewan. They did. I think they stopped that. I think they never had it

oh they they i know they had it at some point because it was a when they did it it was everybody was trying to figure out it's like half the year you're this time zone in the half the year you're this time zone uh hour yeah hours wise but i think it was like a big it was a big deal in saskatchewan when that happened like that was the big news from uh from the middle of our country well it's weird because we all were kind of told like oh we do this for farmers we do jla savings for farmers and then saskatchewan it's the only job you can have in saskatchewan is farmer and they're like we don't do that we don't yeah exactly so why are we doing it yeah where across this giant nation what were like the best towns to uh do a show in aside from big cities okay I'm gonna say I really like La Ronge Saskatch Ronge? Okay. What's good about La Ronge?

You know what? I just think it's so isolated there was nothing else to do. But come to your show. But come to my show. Yeah. That was the big talk of the town. That was it. What about the worst? Worst city?

Oh. Who was Erica saying a few weeks ago? That was the worst city to do's erica saying a few weeks ago um this is the worst city to do yeah i don't remember i know for me it's always been cranbrook cranbrook might have been that for her as well yeah there's a very bad bad gig in cranbrook and you should definitely do it yeah you gotta go back you gotta heal that you gotta that's true you do have to i think i disagree 100 i said i i was being sarcastic no but there is that that mindset of like you can't let them win yeah let them win yeah i think i bombed so bad there that when i went out to still smoke then i went out to have a cigarette and a guy next to me uh asked for a light and i gave him a light and then he was

like you should probably just stop doing this wow wow that's so rude but then i went back to cranbrook i was like i'm gonna settle score. And then I did bad that time too. So, well, I think I had one of my biggest bombs in England in like, so I went to London. I was like, just did a comedy.

Now here was like 2003 or something. I was like, yeah, I'm going to go to England and conquer because there was literally no women comics there. Maybe one or two oh wow damn edna they had damn edna that's that's right yeah yeah exactly and mrs bean and and then i got there it was my showcase and i literally got booed off the stage and called a cunt can i say that on your podcast you can't it's done yeah oh my god but over there it's over there that is just

like a term of endearment it wasn't that night oh sure uh why was there something that like kicked off the booing or were they just like we don't like this this stinks oh no no i got on stage and i told them i did have a penis it just happened to be at home doing dishes tonight and i literally got booed off the stage that was it for my showcase i literally one joke i didn't get a word out after that i literally just got booed and they're like you can't come back here anymore you're not welcome here and i just like shook my head on the flight all the way they drove you to the airport it's like what happened oh my god yeah no it's good times i think one of my biggest bombs was also in the uk i think in scotland i did a show two days

after i got there and i bombed so bad that i was like did i lose it over the atlantic did i just not cross a barrier where i'm not funny anymore and then i was kind of like planning my life without uh being funny like yeah maybe i'll you know buy a ranch or something like that and just sit around okay if that was an option why wouldn't you just do that we've all considered buying a ranch with our comedy money you can put on a show in the barn oh yeah absolutely have the best of both worlds

I got I got bod off stage by these freaking sheep thank you I got, I got bought off stage by these frigging sheep. Thank you. That would have actually gotten pretty well in England. They love puns over there. They do love, they do love puns.

Oh my God. They just love. Have you been back since to England to do shows? Oh yeah. Yeah. I went back to that same frigging club and I, I was, I was staying at this little like uh bed and breakfast i was just

in like in the bathtub in the morning i was like i'm gonna be okay you're gonna go back you're gonna be fine and then i went back and i had a great set healed my child so you guys have just like the opposite uh outlook that i do i will never go back somewhere if i if i bombed somewhere i'm like well i guess uh burn the town down it never happened yeah there's and there's places where like you say you're the thing in town everybody would be at the legion anyways so yeah yeah we'll just throw a guy on stage but it's like gigging and none of it it's like the busiest legion in north america have you played in none of it i have played none of it wow and uh it's probably it is the busiest legion in north america but it's because the town's drying it's the only place everyone can

drink oh okay yes yeah i remember accidentally playing a place that was dry and I was like, Oh, Oh nuts. Uh, it's like, do they at least sell soda? No. Dry.

Wow. What did they have? Just water. Water. Yeah. Just water. Where the hell were you? This was in,

Oh, it was, I was doing a festival in, uh, white horse. And it was like some, oh, it was, I was doing a festival in Whitehorse. And it was like some far-flung outpost. It was in a school, which I think was the main hub of the city. And it was like, there was nothing. If you, there was no landmarks. It was just rocks.

It was in a school, so they only had water and you had to get it out of the water fountain and there's a big lineup because everyone was sweaty from dodgeball dodgeball always a hit yeah you how was your dodgeball game when you were a youth oh you know horrible i wasn't very athletic let's just say that yeah yeah yeah not an athlete were you like were you a cool kid what were you high school wise oh my god did we already go over i played violin yeah that's right there was nothing cool about me no i was not i was i i wasn't nerdy i wasn't i, I wasn't nerdy. I wasn't, I was, I wasn't nerdy. I was just trying to be cool. And that was even worse than being cool or nerdy. I think.

Yeah. I'm still trying to get that. Well, failing at every attempt. I know. Yeah. But you got to get back on that horse, you know,

to be a cool person. I, you know, my, my party favor was Mr. Chin again. So what's that? Yeah. What's Mr. Chinnigan. What's that? Yeah, what's Mr. Chinnigan?

Come on. It's where you draw like two eyes on your chin and lie upside down and cover your face. Okay. I do that. And your bottom teeth become your top teeth. And it's super funny, guys. I was killing it on this sleepover. Yeah, that's...

I've never heard it called Mr. Chinnigan. Yeah. What did you call it uh i didn't do it but i saw it on like america's funniest people yeah yeah yeah and then there were like the guys with the like top hats that lipstick on their bellies and made it like they were whistling that was uh that was fun i don't think i've ever seen that show america's funniest people oh you gotta you gotta get the dvds yeah it's on criterion yeah were you on it were you on that show no i'm kidding was that oh that was on whenever we were

like i was like 12 when that was on but i thought about it like oh if i could just get on that on that show if i could just come up with an angle that would be it yeah there was a guy who did an impression of andrew dice clay called andrew nice clay and he just said really nice things about people and just said a nursery rhyme that was the actual nursery rhyme and uh right i thought that was really good as a kid even though i didn't really know who andrew dice clay was i knew i wasn't allowed to watch him i know that uh hey yeah right you uh have you ever worked with mr clay have you ever seen mr clay perform not live no no i saw him once and uh it was as you imagine yeah was it good it was like it it was

he was wearing sweatpants i feel like he wasn't trying uh like it was a full show it was just him doing a set and he was wearing weightlifting gloves i don't know it was very complicated well he always wore weightlifting gloves was he wearing a fried chicken usa sweatshirt no no but he was wearing just like a t-shirt and uh yeah he looked like he just came from the gym yeah sweatpants on stage is uh it communicates something it does yeah although like man these kids with their fancy sweatpants since today i tell you if i i would never i would have never called that sweatpants would be uh even you know more expensive than jeans and i also wouldn't call the mullet coming back but baby it is here

you know what i gotta say i went to a gig and the guy who was like doing the tech had a mullet and I was, and a mustache and I was a little turned on. Oh yeah. I was like, Oh God, is he going to deliver pizza? I don't know. I was just a little,

I was like a little flustered. That's all I'm going to say. Yeah. Mullet was, it was like always a party haircut. Like it was. Well, in the back,

it was business in the front, obviously. Famously. Famously. was a party haircut like it was well in the back it was business in the front obviously famously famously exactly the other day i was i was getting ready wearing some jeans and i said to my oldest daughter uh this is gonna i hope this is okay to say but i was a c word again no no it is not but those were were Brits saying that to me. That's true. No, I said, but it is a C word. I'm like, do I have camel toe? Oh, sure.

And she's like, no, but camel toe is back. And I was like, what do you mean it's back? She's like, yeah, it's hot to have camel toe now. And I was like, what? Exactly. Well camel toe now what i was like what exactly well i always thought it was on a by accident thing i didn't think it was by design but you had apparently it's by design now it's a choice yeah yeah so if you see me with some camel toe just know that these chubby lips are talking to you no i don't know who does that who does that um wow yeah that's a trend i could get on board with personally like maybe i should have a camel though what could i do

but there's a snuggle well you don't know you don't know that about me it's true it's true but moose knuckles a brand of coats yes that is a terrible thing now there is a brand of like uh winter coat called moose knuckle and it's got like a hoof brass knuckle on the sleeve yeah and it's i feel like the people who are wearing it have no idea that that's a saying for a crotch look, a crotch look. Yeah, that's the right.

Yeah. But yeah, like I just thought, I thought it was a very bold naming of product. And from all I could tell a very successful. Well, there's also like ever since the brand under armor came along which has become enormous it's like in every sports athletic store but i just hear underarm

i'm like this is the the root of under armor is underarm yeah that's true and it has just like turned into like the nike swoosh it's just like the u and the a yeah well was it just what was it before was it just like shirts that you put under your button up yeah i just thought it was to keep you warm like in the winter oh yeah they're like it's like just like shorts and any athletic clothes no i know now but when they started out it must have been like you wear this under your. Oh, yeah. I wore it as a bulletproof vest.

Yeah. Are you, Kate? Are you a big are you an athlete now in your adult years? Or I know you weren't as a kid because you were playing violin all the time. But yeah, are you doing adult dodgeball'm i'm not doing adult dodgeball i the only thing i do is walk that's it that's not bad yeah that's it that's as athletic i even as a kid i hated running i literally was not sporty my parents tried to send me to ballet class i think one time i forgot my leotard and the teacher was going to make me do the class in my underwear i was so upset my sister gave me

her leotard and did the class in her underwear that's really wow i swear that is uh crime you cannot make a kid do dance in their underwear this was the 70s. Kids had no rights. Yeah. It's always as you hear, like, there were no seatbelts. Yeah. Nothing. Everybody was smoking all the time. Everywhere. In the car with the windows up.

No. My dad just up and away. Yeah. If I ever watch a movie that's set in the 70s, I'm like, ah, that's the golden era of the 70s boy oh boy good music flowing locks smoking wherever you wanted yeah no rules no rules you have flowing locks and you smoke wherever you want that's true but you know it's not it's more judged upon now whereas in the 70s it made you made you a cool. Yeah. I do cool. No, I absolutely, I smell like a cigarette a week now and I hate it when I smell it.

I know. The other day I was, I ducked in because it was raining really hard and I wanted to sip on my coffee. So I ducked in under an awning and the guy next to me was smoking and it was wild. It was like, it transported me back to high school like i hadn't smelled that smell

probably all year i had smelled this the stink of a cigarette is it it's also worse in the rain isn't it i don't know i mean it's worse on clothes in the rain because it captures stink like do you guys remember going to nightclubs and coming home and just smelling like cigarettes a little bit yeah all your hair and yeah and there's like i i'm sure there were garments that i just threw out because they were beyond washing they were just cigarette clothes forever you know did you smoke were you a smoker oh yeah i smoked for like 20 years no way yeah but i haven't smoked in about 16 now so nice good for you yeah yeah i just quit cold turkey yeah it was the only it was the only way i went a little crazy i went so crazy quitting smoking i actually had to hire a renovator to fix it as i was breaking it in my In my house, I was so angry. You were smashing up your own stuff?

Yeah. I was like, ah! Yeah, I was a lunatic. Yeah. Yeah. But I've never had a puff since because, you know what, quite frankly, I will never quit again. If I ever start, I'll just die a smoker. Yeah, yeah. I've had that thought in my head like, well, if you find out that you don't have long to live, the whole time you can smoke cigarettes.

Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Although you probably won't want to, but I don't know. You know what? I was thinking about how, you know how you're not like we had an eclipse last weekend and I was like, if i was dying i would just look at it like if i found out i had a year to live i would be like uh you know what i'm just gonna stare at this eclipse i don't care if it burns my retinas that is always the thing right in movies where they're like you've got a year left to live but you're gonna be in perfect health during that

year and then dies quietly at the very end because that's you know somebody's like i'm gonna do your bucket list everything yeah yeah yeah um yeah i don't uh i don't subscribe to that philosophy no i when i die when i find out i have a year to live i want the drop off to be very uh uh immediate yeah i want to immediately not be able to do anything that's what it's about it's i so i started this weird podcast i'm not doing it anymore because it was too weird called so now you're dying what are you doing to live where i would just interview dying people that's all i I wanted to do. Oh, really? I swear, yeah. And I did five episodes, and I actually loved it. It was probably

the only podcast you would never want to be able to be on. You know what I mean? Yeah. We have some guests who I'm sure are like, oh, how do I get on that? Were they like, what were the people like like what was their view they were all they were all different the thing is i just found i found like talking about death and dying in

north america very taboo and i'd lost a few people in my life and i was like you know what i want to bring some validation and light to this thing that we all want to ignore north america because it's probably the it's the one thing we're all gonna do not me man right yeah i knew that i'm like the guy that does all the stuff to keep himself young i'm doing cortisol treatments every day and oh yeah you get changed did you hear about that guy do you ever read the article who Who are you getting blood from? I pool it all together. I take donations and I just swish it around. So it's every blood type, so I'm getting a ballot.

That's because you don't know what blood type you are. No. But this guy, this guy, do you know what I'm talking about? This guy that wants to stay young forever? I've heard of a few people like a few like tech guys tech billionaires who do this kind of thing yeah and he has a purse little tiny purse that he wears around his penis and it records how many erections he gets during the evening really yeah it a purse. It's just like a little, like a little sack. I have a sack around my penis. Um,

what, uh, and what's a good amount to get at night? I don't know. He won't share. Wow. I sleep on my side. I think it was,

does that affect play? I don't know. That's a good question yeah um this guy would know if you want to send him a an email an email yeah sure hey uh weird billionaire yeah where do i get one of the little things to wrap around my penis yeah probably have to wrap it around two or three times um the uh the guy that i've like there are i've heard of other tech billionaires like biohacking and um get like uh they'll starve themselves and then they'll or they'll do like crazy things with temperature and they'll yeah they'll get really hot and then really cold. Yeah. I would just buy a ranch.

Just buy a ranch. With my tech money. Enjoy your life at the ranch. So many people are into ice baths right now. Yeah. It's like the thing. Yeah. People are into ice baths, mullets, camel toes.

It's all coming back. I know. Is this like a weird episode of some so sorry no you're you're on top of the trends um but uh what did you learn from the talking to these dying people yeah okay so i would ask some questions like do you drive faster now you know you're dying you know, you're dying, you know, uh, is there anyone you want to tell to F off? And I had one guy. Yeah. He was like, yeah, Jim, Jim can F off. And I was like, Oh God, what did Jim do? It's like, he owes me five grand. I'm like, screw you, Jim, screw you. But like weird things, like, what are you going to wear when you're dead? Like, have you decided?

like what are you gonna wear when you're dead like have you decided oh yeah it was just yeah i think uh like i the thing i learned most about it and from the podcast is everyone's uh relationship with hope changes that's the major thing i i think i learned from it so like they give up hope or they're more more hopeful or no it's like it's like your relationship. Like you find out you're sick. You hope you're going to get better. Then you find out you're not going to get better. You hope you're not in pain. You hope it's fast. You hope it's slow.

You're right. Family's okay. You hope everyone's. It was just, it was interesting. I really actually enjoyed it. I think I might change the name. So it's not so you're dying,

but maybe, I don't know. Final thoughts. I don't know. thoughts i don't know final thoughts is pretty good yeah that's not bad yeah so i want to be buried in dave's fried chicken usa shirt no you cannot be you cannot be sir uh we can find another one on ebay i mean you maybe have to pay that find that 300 one on ebay but it's a small. I'm dying anyways. Can't take the money with me.

That's right. Exactly. Yeah. Yes. That's, if you get cremated, do you still wear a suit or, or like,

does that get cremated with you? I want to be cremated in the nude. Actually, I want to be, I want to cremate my jeans. Like your biogenetic jeans or no like my your denims some people are being like uh compost now they're like turned into mushrooms kind of thing and stuff like i have seen yeah. Can you imagine going to somebody's house and they're serving up some like mushroom hors d'oeuvres?

It's a funny thing, my Uncle Gary grew from his brain. Yeah, I think I've heard of like you can get your ashes like compressed into a gemstone. You can also get them done like a record.

You can make a record out of your and then does the record make like does it have music on it or is it just my voice going I told you I was sick my house do you have to honor somebody's final wish no is that like solid that you have to yeah no one's no one's gonna know

you know what i'm like it's so funny you say that because like like you're a dad now but i always swore on my kids lives and i And I'm amazed they're alive. Like, I was always lying. I was like, yeah, I swore on my kids' lives. And I'm like, they're going to be dead soon. How is that how that works? Yeah. That's fascinating.

Is it still something that people can listen to? Is it on the streaming service? Yeah. People download it all the time i i might start it again we'll see we'll see it is yeah it's interesting because yeah we are do our other cultures are more cool with death they're like hey that's just the way it goes man and yeah and now we got billionaires sleeping with purses on their sacks. Drinking other people's blood.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. Apparently Keith Richards is trying to quit smoking. What? After all this time, he's trying to give it up. You should read that Alan Carr book. I had an aunt who was 98 who quit smoking. Really? Yeah.

And I asked her why. And she's like, I just don't feel like it anymore. And she'd been smoking over 70 years. And she had outlived everyone. And then, yeah, she quit smoking. Wow. And she's like, oh, I can smell so much better. I was like, oh, God.

Bring me all the things that smell. I need to smell everything. I have one year left to live. I got to go smell things around the world. She died at 99. So funny. Wow. Wow.

Because I kept smoking. I know. Didn't feel like it. She's like, ah, I'm done. Wow. I like that. Yeah. I feel like it.

I'm going to take it up again. But this time, cigars. I'm going i smoke cigars occasionally yeah like it's a celebratory really you smoke two cigars a year yeah probably yeah wow i like romeo and juliettes they're like the brand they're called romeo and juliettes these big or small or whatever what's the you can get them in any size but i like the medium ones if i'm going to smoke a cigar i want to feel like i'm smoking a cigar it's true yeah dave have you ever smoked a cigar all the time you know me i like to bite the end off uh wait no i chop the end off i chew the the other end. So then I send you a cigar. It's just the way I am.

I like a tall glass of scotch. I like a big cigar. And then you know you're going to find me in a Cadillac. Eating a big steak. Yeah. Graham, have you smoked cigars?ars yeah that's how he started smoking was uh the thing is when when the internet wasn't around you just had to take books words for it

like so there weren't any books written by current comedians but there were a lot written by like wc fields and groucho and whatnot so he just assumed if you wanted to be a comedian you had to have a tolerance for smoking cigars and then my friend was like oh man uh you should smoke cigarettes because they're like like small cigars and i was like oh yeah okay that's a good idea and then cigar ads yeah yeah but like how old were you when you started smoking smoking i when i started smoking cigars i was probably like 14 or 15 and then are we talking like the cigarillos that are grape flavored or like cigars well Well, they started out as cigarillos. White Owl, I think they were called.

Yeah. And then I started... It was very hard to find an adult who would buy cigars. Yeah, just waiting outside of the convenience store. I'm just imagining you all like reading a Playboy magazine, but inside it's you're actually reading Cigar Aficionado.

Don't tell anyone. Oh, man. Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Well, I so I've been on Instagram lately. I love it. I love it there. You post a little picture. You show a bit of your true self.

People give you a heart. But I go on the Discover page, or whatever it's called, the search page, and they give you a bunch of suggestions. And usually the suggestion is like, oh, Dave, maybe you want to look at this woman with big boobs. And I'm like, well, you know what? The algorithm is red hot. The algorithm knows me.

I don't know how it does it, but... I told you something that, like, and I'm still getting this recommended. They're serving up a lot of uh white women with dreads oh right yeah this is instagram is positive i'm interested i am at this point now just to see how long they're gonna how long they're gonna do it for but it knows that i'm curious at the very I mostly get like, uh, guitar pedals and, uh, like recipes. Oh, nice. Um, but one of the recipe ones that came up was, uh, this woman who, uh, she goes around

America and she's discovered in, uh, like, uh, she's discovered that there are people who, uh, at their gravestones, they have their name and their dates that they were alive, and they leave a recipe. What? I've never heard of that. Yeah, and she goes across America, like, she'll find the recipe,

someone will send it to her, hey, I found this dead person's gravestone. Is it what killed them it's it's this is my last meal yeah this was the fudge that killed me and uh then she'll make the thing get on a flight and eat it at their grave site oh wow that's fun it's um very strange yeah and i was like oh is this like a very common thing that people leave a recipe when they're when they die and uh apparently not only like there's a she

knows of 25 in the united states okay an easy you know easy blog to fill 25 yeah and it was like um they're mostly women and they're mostly desserts oh and some of them look terrible like there was one where she had to make like the recipe was like making a cake in a tin can oh yeah and she just couldn't get it out at the end. And it was like, it just seems like a very weird thing for like, yeah, this not very good recipe is what I would like to leave the next generations. It would be great to be in one of those graveyards and have a recipe.

That's just like order it from Domino's just right next to the person. Yeah. And the number. Yeah. That's right. And the person yeah and the number yeah yeah that's right in the local dominoes number um i still remember my my uh childhood dominoes number 733-0188 681-7213 or Bah. We were all pizza pizza. Oh, and that's the real, that's the Ontario treat, pizza pizza. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. 9-6-7-11-11.

That's it. Oh, that's the central, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Well, Graham also had pizza 73. 2-7-3-7-3-7-3. Yeah, that was our pizza pizza, I guess. And we in Vancouver had pizza 2-2-2, but we never ordered from them. But it was 2-2-2-2-2-2-2. seven three seven three yeah that was that was our pizza pizza i guess uh and we had vancouver had pizza two two two but we never ordered from them but it was two two two two two two two

did you get two for one did you i don't know uh uh we never ordered from them but i feel like it was a weird uh it was just like in the back in the day when you just, that was your marketing was we need to have a phone number that people just remember. Yeah. And I. That was it. I get pizza from a place that's been around a long time and they bring the pizza and without telling you, they bring two cans of pop. Oh, that's nice. It's nice, but it's not.

Did they charge you? No, that's just on us. But it's always Pepsi or Sprite are the two. When was the last time you had a Sprite? A cat. We're a big Sprite household. Are you? You're a big Sprite?

Okay. Well, the kids want to have pop, but I don't want them to have caffeine. So they are like, can we try Sprite? Oh, Sprite doesn't have caffeine. Yeah. Unless it does, then I'm wrong. It doesn't. It doesn't have caffeine yeah unless it does and i'm wrong it doesn't it doesn't yeah are you strict with your kids no that's why they're never gonna move out i don't know what strict even means anymore i know like the idea of a scary parent is uh

i don't know if it's because I'm an old, I'm older now or because parents are, uh, softer. Right. Softer, way softer. Like my mom gave us a look and we knew if we got that look,

she was going to beat us. Yeah. Yeah. That's well, you know, who's not softer. The guy who measures how many boners he gets every night. That's right, yeah.

That's right. He's harder. Would you, when you die, what recipe would you leave? I don't know that I even have one. I feel like the only things that I can think of are recipes out of cookbooks. Well, yeah. So I just leave the bin number or whatever

so they can find it in the library. Like, page 11. Oh, sure. This is the number to go find it. Spaghetti. Like a fancy spaghetti sauce would be. Or like Graham's classic breakfast. Add mini-wheats.

Add milk. What about you, Kate? Do not stir. I don't know. I'm not that good a cook. I mean, my kids always knew dinner was ready with the smoke detector going off. Like, I'm just not that good.

But I do, you always have a couple things. I make a good scrambled eggs. What am I going to say? Two eggs and some milk? Like, I don't know. Yeah, that of things. I make a good scrambled eggs. What am I going to say? Two eggs and some milk? Like, I don't know. Yeah, that's true. Add the salt, cook slow. I don't know.

It's just a very weird thing that this woman has discovered it. And then like she's made it her, like the fact that you can make your entire online personality, like I'm the grave cooker. Do you think people are going to leave their recipes now and then say hey go to this grave number 22 in new orleans yeah oh like send them a letter like uh yeah yeah yeah please i would i would do a prank recipe that was uh just like a bunch of things that uh you know don't go together yeah something that ends up being really gross, but she has to make it.

I, I've changed my, my mind. I think that what I, my recipe would be, uh, just open up a can of whoop ass. That would be fine. Yeah.

Go to, I'm going to make sure that's on your grave. Thank you. Thank you. It's my final wish. So you have to one can. Or I won't let you eat my mushrooms that grow out of my brain. Your brain. Are of your brain?

Are they going to be magic? Yeah, well, they might be. We'll see. Yeah. I don't know that, like, what kind of mushrooms are there? There's the food kind, the drug kind, and the poison kind. And aren't the drug kind just like a gentle poison kind? That maybe is, there's maybe something to that.

Yeah. People love microdosing mushrooms right now are you guys in are you been doing it i'm doing it all i'm i'm microdosing i'm camel toe i'm what else are we doing moose knuckle moose knuckle yeah ice baths how about you katie mushroom mushroom person okay i'm not i i i'm not a drug i don't do a lot of that but i recently because everyone was talking about it with my vitamins in the morning i decided i was going to microdose the mushrooms okay okay so i took it with my veggie greens took my uh mushrooms got super high decided i was too high this is like

at 11 in the morning now and then i was like you know what's gonna help me get not high smoking some weed oh you make them fight it out in your body yeah so then i smoked some weed ended up greening out running to my sister's house and lying in her bed telling her i was too high what is it is it like uh is it like hallucinating when you microdose no like apparently it's just supposed to make you more creative and open but in your case what was it it just made me feel really weird and like I was going to die. Yipes. Yeah, we're all going to die. That's true.

We might as well go out high as a kite. Yeah. That's right. Yeah, no. Ended up lying in my sister's bed like a teenager. Yeah. And she was like, you're going to be fine. And I'm like, don't tell mom.

I don't think I had friends that would have done that for me. They would have been like, don't tell mom. And also don't tell her. I said, she's shaped like a cake. We're just bringing everything back. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. The only like the connection I have in my mind to mushrooms is laughing hysterically that it's just like, everything's funny stuff. That's supposed to be funny is so funny and stuff. it's just like everything's funny stuff that's supposed to be funny is so funny and stuff that's not funny is pretty funny and yeah you know when you laugh too much and then you feel like you maybe have popped a blood vessel in your head that's that's how much i laugh with mushrooms yeah yeah the connection i have to mushrooms but a delicious

gravy on schnitzel delicious that's that you know what that's going on my gravestone say um graham what's going on with you well we are in october which means we're close to the end of the year only got a couple months and then boom, it's January 1st, which means that any benefits you have expire. You go back, you lose all those benefits at the end of December. So I'm going wild, man. I'm getting it all done. And the first thing that I did was get acupuncture, which that was a brand new, never had it done before. So you're using benefits

that just just because just because yeah but just because they're there so i'm just gonna i'm gonna go to a podiatrist i've gotta go to the optometrist they've got an appointment to go to the optometrist i don't know what i would tell the podiatrist like check these out what do you think of these do you wear readers do you wear readers no not at the moment i was wearing readers but they have these amazing things now because they're bifocal contacts so i don't need readers anymore or glasses i can see close i can see far and your brain just adjusts you don't have to like tilt your head one way or the other no no when i does one when i does the other and i can see everything whoa because i used to hate my i watch because i couldn't see it and now i'm just like i love everything yeah i just my phone is

it's a miracle i'm gonna say yeah now i can spend more quality time with my phone um so you're doing uh podiatry i've never been to the podiatrist too and i've got i i went to the regular doctor last year because my feet were hurting and he was like i could prescribe birkenstocks medical grade yeah medical girl and um yeah do you have any feet issues or you just want to uh i get the fall i have very this is so personal oh yeah but you know i'm gonna go there because this is uh yeah i have to be ready to talk about it if i go to the podiatrist i can't be a shrinking violet about it i have very wide feet very hard to find a pair of shoes that is comfortable uh on on the on that end of the spectrum they're just

they just don't make them so maybe i could go to him and he could like shave your feet down a bit yes shave off of my my baby toe yeah here's your problem did you like the acupuncture i hate it i find it tell us about that so here's the thing about acupuncture. Have you ever done it before? No. One time I went to a physio and they did like a couple in the nerve and like wiggled it around. I didn't love it. Um, but this was like the full,

like take, they had to do an intake form and like a, uh, kind of an interview before, like, what are you, what are you hoping to work on and all this kind of stuff? No,

is it, I'm, I'm picturing, uh, like there are you what are you hoping to work on and all this kind of stuff now is it i'm i'm picturing uh like there are acupuncture i think of as like eastern medicine yeah i would say so uh but is it in a just like a regular medical clinic a western medical clinic no it was in um it's like it's kind of like uh they're called it's called a wellness center so it's kind of like a spa-esque kind of thing like it's uh it's not like a doctor's office um but they have different rooms and there's like very calming music playing and and uh yeah like it's a relaxing place to be for sure. Yeah.

Until they put the needles in you. Yeah. And then you freak out. Did you freak out? No. So the thing I thought was every time I've seen it in movies or TV, the person's lying on their stomach and they're getting them in their back. That's like what I've always, you know, every reference to acupuncture looks like that. Not me, man. They made me lie there and put them all over my front.

Oh, it was weird. Oh, man, was it weird. Did you go in with a specific, like, oh, my shoulder's bugging me, or is it just like you just got the full body? Yeah, I got the full. I said, you know what? Just whatever you can throw at me, go for it. And then she said, if any of them

bother you, just tell me. But once you have several in your stomach, you have no idea which one to refer to. How deep do they go in your stomach? They don't go... They poke in your breakfast? They come out with scrambled eggs on them. Just squirting

blood. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Whoops, we put that one in way too far. Have they come out with scrambled eggs on them? Just squirting blood. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Whoops, we put that one in way too far. But, yeah, it's, they put them in you, and then you have to sit there for, like, 15 minutes, lie there for 15 minutes, and then. And moan.

Yeah, I wish I had my phone with me. No, I said, and moan. Were they in your, like, fingers on your hands and stuff? On my head, my jaw. What? My stomach, my feet. And your nipples? Yeah, I demanded it.

I said, you know what? These are too awesome. Ruin my nipples, please. And then you sit there for 15 minutes and then they take them out and is there like a just a yoink no you just sit there for 15 minutes then she comes back in to make sure you're doing okay then you have to sit for another 15 minutes oh yeah and then uh getting them taken out is a pretty, pretty good feeling. Like it's a feeling that I've never thought that I've experienced before to have like a needle, you know, you get blood taken or whatever,

but to have like all these needles taken out, it's refreshing. It's refreshing. Yeah. Yeah. And they're being taken out. Yeah. And like, while I was there, there was a chart on the wall with all

the like pressure points or nerves or whatever that you can stick these she also she used a ruler that she's just throwing them at you uh willy-nilly she was like it has to be this distance from this and this is for that and uh on the chart i was like oh thank god because the only place that doesn't have them is the crotch. So I was like, oh, this is never going to come up, which is great. Stick some needles in your crotch. No, we start with a crotch.

Unless you're a billionaire. Yeah, exactly. He probably gets acupuncture wherever he wants. You should have just taken a picture of all the pressure points and then you could do it yourself. Get your wife to do it yourself yeah now toothpicks when they take them out are they uh what do they do with them do they reuse them or do they go in a sharps container sharps container yeah she's opening them like she was opening the needles yeah don't use them again funky and at one point i scratched my head and there was like blood on top of my head but

everywhere else it didn't bleed at all you wouldn't be able to tell that i had had it done but you know what still got some money left on it going back again i'm gonna go back yeah as many times as i can afford uh yeah yeah yeah i'm excited about it you get oh boy with your uh benefits do you think you can get some shrooms yeah maybe i mean i mean you guys are in bc they're probably everywhere that's true yeah yeah there's oh there's like something called an osteopath which i'm not sure what an osteopath does i think it's like like a different sort of version of a chiropractor. Like they deal with bones, but they're more gentle. Like they don't crack them, but they align them.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I'd do that. I'm going to do it. I'll do it. Optometrist, osteopath, podiatrist.

Where do you get your benefits from? Oh, they're not mine. They are my spouse's benefits. And they're running mine they're my uh they're my spouse's benefits and they're running out soon so i'm gonna use them all yeah we don't get a ton of benefits in the podcasting industry no that's true unless you do uh an ad for athletic greens or something yeah like that the only benefits we get are meeting new people yeah hey and you know what the years it's coming up at the end so we gotta meet a whole bunch of new yeah we gotta yeah if we want to renew these benefits i was

going through like who's been on your podcast and everyone i saw was like this is their fourth time on here well we had to you have to break the seal somewhere you know what i mean so you have to yeah yeah it's good um yeah there's also and it turns out i can't use it but there was a certain amount uh allowable for wigs i was like hey we got a wig now you have to you have to have a condition that requires right you need to get a person these are prescription prescription wigs what is um yeah uh have you you've never needed glasses no but i went a couple years ago i went to an optometrist and bought a pair of glasses but i had the frames i wanted and just got them to put the glass in those frames and i feel like something about that didn't work because uh when i put them

on everything seems curved and uh that doesn't seem like it's better than regular when you said you brought the frames you wanted were they giant curvy frames yeah they were frames and they had the groucho oh yeah i had the mustache but if i'm gonna get i'm gonna get some statement glasses if they're gonna give me glasses you're you're you're you have statement everything else get some normal glasses don't do it get statement yeah i'm gonna get like run dmcs or something like that you know yeah but uh yeah i think that's all of the things massage also massage oh yeah i'm gonna cash in a lot of the massages and man it is hard to find somebody

because everybody is doing the exact same thing they're like oh i gotta get six uh i thought you were gonna say it's hard to find someone because a lot of these places are just uh handjob partners they don't take the they don't take insurance yeah that's what you realize it's yeah they're in the majority so yeah do you get a happy ending from your uh acupuncture yeah i mean not crotch wise but they uh they pat your belly and say good job that's that that's as happy an ending as you could hope for everyone loves a good belly rub yeah oh yeah absolutely oh man dogs dogs have the big claim on it but i like it yeah i forget who it was but someone had a tweet a few months ago about they kept going on and on about

what if people had a penis like a dog that came out of the middle of their belly i can't stop imagining it. Really, like, I have a boy and a girl dog, and I'd much rather rub the girl's belly. Yeah. Yeah. Do you have pets, Kate? I have a cat.

A cat. That's it. Okay. I used to have dogs, but they died. They were old. I didn't kill them they were just old no one's accusing you of killing your dogs um but yeah i have a cat now and he's an asshole but i love him yeah and but you can't you can't see a cat's unit because it's all like not at all

right no yeah yeah i don't and we're looking oh And we're looking. That's how I hold it up to see what am I dealing with here? What are you? What are you? Yeah. Yeah. You got big balls under there? What do you got? You know?

Please, sir. Just try grabbing them. Do like those metal balls on somebody's desk, you know? Yeah. Do you guys think we should do some overheards? Yeah, let's do that. Yeah. I'm Jordan Cruciola, host of Feeling Seen,

where we start by asking our guests just one question. What movie character made you feel seen? I knew exactly what it was. Clementine from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Choi Wang slash Shobu Tupaki. That one question launches amazing conversations about their lives, the movies they love, and about the past, present, and

future of entertainment. Roy in Close Encounters of the Third Kind. I worry about what this might say about me, but I've brought Tracy Flick in the film Election. So if you like movies, diverse perspectives, and great conversations, check us out.

Oof, this is real. New episodes of Feeling Seen drop every week on MaximumFun.org. Oh my gosh, hi, it's me, Dave Holmes, host of the pop culture game show Troubled Waters. On Troubled Waters, we play a whole host of games, like one where I describe a show using a limerick, and

our guests have to figure out what it is. Let's do one right now. What show am I talking about? This podcast has game after game and brilliant guests who come play him. The host is named Dave. It could be your fave, so try it. Life won't be the same. Uh, Big Business starring Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin.

Close, but no. Oh, is it Troubled Waters, the pop culture quiz show with all your favorite comedians? Yes, Troubled Waters is the answer to this question and all of my life's problems. Now, legally, we actually can't guarantee that, but you can find it on MaximumFun.org or wherever you get your podcasts.

Overheard. Overheardards a segment where if you hear something real sweet we really want to hear it too and uh we always like to start with the guest kate do you have an overheard i do have an overheard i was at a coffee shop recently and i overheard this girl saying to her friend yeah i went on a date and the only thing the guy asked me was is do i iron and i really just i just need you to iron the one thing yeah just the one thing yeah yeah the dry cleaner's closed. So I'm wondering if I could just get you to. Yeah, yeah. I've got a date. It was the weirdest. And I was just like, yeah, she was so insulted. She's like, I didn't know how to get out of the date, what to do.

We were going for dinner and a whole movie. And the only thing the guy was, he was just really into, was I into housework or not? Oh, wow. You'd think they would get that up front you know and you're i feel like that's a keeper no i'm yeah the guy who wants you to do everything don't let him go if anyone asks me do i iron no i just get things right out of the dryer and i fold them up real nice yeah see smart i'm a steamer myself like the the hanging up on the yeah you just that's fun yeah that is fun i like i like ironing i don't have very many things that need to be ironed but when i do i enjoy it enjoy the hell out of it but it's not in your dating profile yeah no it's me

i'm it's i'm talking on the phone but it's an iron and everybody's like yeah my dating profile picture is a it's a i'm wearing a a nice shirt but it's got a big giant burnt iron hole it's actually a good comedy album cover dave you got it overheard well i do uh yesterday i recorded a podcast with you yeah and aaron reed yeah and it was raining so much when you guys got here you were both like you both took off your raincoats and like we had to hang them up to dry and and then so we recorded the show and at the end of the show you guys looked out the window

and Aaron said oh it's raining less it's a bit less and then you guys put on your raincoats and I said goodbye to you I opened the door and you walked out and i overheard um i overheard you say it's not last and erin said i know

i've been overhearded oh man you got overhearded it uh it feels great i gotta be honest i uh i'm glad to be and i might have gotten that wrong as the moment it happened i was like that was really funny and then i was like wait which one said which no you're right you got the order actually we have a we have a camera on the uh uh the front door like the doorbell camera i wonder if it caught that go through how long do you get uh how long does it hold on to that stuff for five years every second for five years no i think five days five days um you know what i'll go through it if we have it it'll i'll add it to the end of the episode yes yeah yeah

do you have an overheard grant i do um and. And this is a weird phrasing, more than anything. It was a guy talking on the phone and was saying, I have failed 50% of my driving tests. So instead of saying half, 50%, you figure it out. That's how many. And apparently, it took me a couple times to get my driver's test get license

yeah did you guys did you nail it on the first go I nailed it on the first yeah yeah me too to say you failed 50% of your driver's test that usually just means you failed one oh I took it that he's like

done four and he's failed well but then he wouldn't get two licenses so he's yeah or maybe he just failed like the reverse part of it right yeah oh man i was i was so bad at parallel parking i think i nailed it that one time and it was during the test and that was it never been able to do it again they should add a thing to the driver's test the parallel parking but it's like in front of a patio where there's a like a restaurant on people are watching you yeah high pressure high pressure yeah yeah but just think about it your kids will probably never even have to drive it's all going to be self-driving in 10 years by the time they learn to drive or yeah but i won't be able

to afford a self-driving car in 10 years they're going to be driving they're going to have to learn on the current car and even then it'll just be you're going out to pick stuff up or drop your sister off this is your entire job. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's all there is. That's all there is for cars. I mean, the great thing about your kids getting their licenses, first of all, you never have to drive with them again.

That's nice. I was like, oh, God, because it's terrifying. And second of all, it it's a good DD. Like if you want to get trashed and just because they're gonna have to pick you up that's right you're calling home in the middle of the night oh i'm not drunk but i need to come get me yeah i just had a fight with kevin and i need you to come get me now we also have overheard sent into us by all over the world. If you want to send one in, you can send it in to SPY at MaximumFun.org. And this first one comes from Casey in Arkansas.

Was getting soda at a soda fountain this weekend, and I had my eight-year-old get his own drink. When he started to drink it, I noticed the soda had come out with only soda water and not any of the syrup. He then made a grossed out face and said, I think this soda is raw. Yeah, something that happened in the facility cooking this soda. Yeah, that is really weird yeah do uh do you guys like that you can do your own uh sodas at certain restaurants and movie theaters or are you like yes i love it yeah because do you do you mix so you do i do yeah kate well it's your mix no i mostly just add the whatever i find i make a cherry version of coke or or dr pepper i just add

cherry to stuff that's pretty good how about you kate what's your go-to usually just like a coke but i will all like uh they've like vanilla coke or a chair like i'm more into that yeah okay but i i don't know i'm just i just like the that I don't have to add a lot of ice. You know what I mean? So you get more positive. Right. You get to. They always. Yeah.

I'm more into that. Cause I always feel like they're jacking me. I like the fact that at the end of the movie, you can just refill it again. Cause no one's stopping you. There's one person who works on the whole thing. On your way out the door. Yeah.

Yeah. Bring out like a gas can and just fill it completely up. Yeah. Or do you ever do this where you just say, can I just grab a glass for some water? And then you go to the machine and then you put pop in it anyway. That's pretty cool. Yeah.

I'm not a monster. Hey. I'm just getting a free refill that I shouldn't. getting a free refill that I shouldn't. This next one comes from Jess in Melbourne, Australia. Melbourne, Australia. Great. I was listening to two

14-year-old boys on the train discussing the burgers they'd just eaten. One says to the other, do you know how they have plant based meat? Long pause. Well, what about meat-based plants and both nodded like they really hit on something yeah that would be like a uh venus fly trap oh yes yeah and uh yeah those are yeah those are the big ones um but yeah i definitely i relate to these teens i think that was a smoking pot and then asking questions like that really would yeah let's just flip the words around yeah

we'll just freak out you know what if the dogs are inside and we're actually outside what if dogs are thinking that we're walking that they're walking us oh yeah um yeah but uh you know what to the kids on the train keep doing. Yeah, but you know what? To the kids on the train, keep doing what you're doing. You know what I mean? You're going to hit on something eventually. This last one comes from Noah H. From South Bend, Indiana.

I heard a conversation between two men at a bar. One tipsy, one presumably from Canada. The tipsy man says, my girlfriend, she works at Dunkin' Donuts. Do you have that in canada it's like if a copy shop decided to sell donuts and the canadian man replies in monotone yeah yeah i think i know what you mean yeah we might have something a little like that um we're sort of making it our entire identity that's true oh man i can't stand it i can't

stand that we're playing into stereotypes all the time and that we like it uh like you know australians don't claim like outback steakhouse as their big uh export you know which is probably not from the outback at all right yeah but um no there's places where they're very proud of their thing like where i don't know the swiss do they like swiss cheese a lot in switzerland oh yeah yeah swiss chocolate right swiss yeah germany loves beer you know they love beer and sausage um but yeah ours is just a store we're a donut place we're primarily a donut country i haven't had a donut in a long time but i really come on we're poutine aren't we we are we're poutine we're we're not though that's a that's a that when i was when i was born poutine didn't exist

in canada this is in my lifetime it's changed it it feels like you looked up like a chart of okay this person's birthday was the same as mine this is the song that was popular this potato dish was not yeah did poutine exist at that time i remember when we first heard about poutine and we had cousins in montreal and we were disgusted at the the description of it yeah he's curds what does that even mean yeah like when we as kids we went to ontario and we went kind of on a road trip into quebec and you could just buy curds at like the gas station you still can yeah and just watching him eat them it was like mind-blowing i was just like i can't believe that i'm witnessing you both grew but you both grew up in vancouver right i grew up in calgary so yeah oh but vancouver you're such health nuts like no wonder you're

never gonna hear i don't i do not connect myself to that stereotype. That's a stereotype about Vancouver. I refuse. Look, no, poutine's everywhere now, but I'm just saying this is not, this is a relatively, it used to be a local thing, and now it is a national thing. National. Canada's thing. And I just, you know what? I don't have time for it, and I won't hear it.

But you like a poutine. Oh, I love it. Yeah. And you wear a fried chicken shirt. So I don't know. Yeah. That health nut thing you're saying. Yeah.

It's all chicken. Yeah, that's me. Well, in addition to overheards that are written, and we also accept your phone calls, if you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631. That's 1- SpyPod1, like these people have.

Hey Dave, hey Graham, this is Chris in Ladysmith, BC. I was just coming out of the Tim Hortons and there was these ladies and one of them just suddenly screamed, I wish I was having surgery. I love anesthetic. And then they got in their cars and drove away.

And I have no idea what they were talking about, other than someone loved surgery and someone wasn't getting it. All right. Bye. Keep up the great show, guys. Yeah. Oh, we really played into that stereotype right away there. Oh, my gosh.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't think I've ever had an aesthetic i've never been like put under wow yeah i've had novocaine i've been put under for uh wisdom teeth and do you love it it was so weird because you're in your mind you're like this is i'm gonna be hard to knock out they're like count backwards from 10 you're like 10 now i'm gonna be hard to knock out they're like count backwards from 10 you're like 10 now i'm gonna be hard to knock out but then it something went sort of wrong during not they didn't break anything or like fuck anything up but i bled everywhere so everybody when i woke up uh both of their like like, whatever, aprons were just, like, covered in blood, like they'd been, like, chopping up a cow or something.

And that was the first thing he said to me. He was like, wow, you were a bleeder. I was like, yeah, and I'm also hard to knock out. Yeah. I got to seven before I... Yeah, I've never been put under, but I do like sometimes waking up and being really confused.

Yeah, it's a fun... As long as it doesn't last too long, right? Sure. I get knocked out easily. Anesthetic works for me. But then I knew someone who had a major operation on their heart and the anesthetic made them seem

like they were asleep, but they could feel every. What? That is a nightmare. It was a nightmare. They had to do like post-traumatic stress. Oh, like they had so many issues from it.

Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Literally. Yeah. Terrifying. Oh man. Yeah. Yeah. You know know what i've decided i'm not going under anymore i'm too hard to knock out i'm just gonna keep it like that yeah yeah i want to be awake

for this open heart surgery because i'm gonna feel it anyway yeah yeah exactly i want to be able to hold a conversation during that's how they know you're you're comfortable with their heart surgery if you can keep a conversation going while it's going uh you're gonna feel a little pinch but unlike a dentist they don't put a tv in the ceiling at uh heart surgery well they're gonna start yeah that's right it starts here it starts now um also how much blood would you have swallowed like probably a lot yeah yeah um but you know it seems like they got the brunt of it there was a little blood on me but it was mostly they were covered in it and then uh my mom was with me and you're really off kilter when you come out. Uh, and so she was walking me like out the door to the elevator.

I was like, I'm fine. And then did a face plant immediately in the elevator. And then it's pretty cool. Got to have like a week off school. It was the best. I'd get them taken out a thousand times. I hope they grow back.

Yeah. Were your cheeks really chubby? Oh my God. Were they? They still are. Yeah, I hope they grow back. Were your cheeks really chubby? Oh, my God. Were they? They still are. Yeah. Look at these. Okay, more then.

But yeah, it was the best. I got to watch much music all day. Oh, yeah. Yeah. How old were you? I was 17, 16, 17. Oh, that's the best time to do it. Oh, man. Yeah. But yeah that's the best time to do it.

Oh, man. But yeah, they were like two of them. I'm not even sure what it means, but two of them were impacted, which I think means they're coming in sideways instead of up and down. Right. I don't really know. I didn't ask. I was just happy to be there.

Do you? Yeah. Love them. You, Kate? I still have mine. I'm just happy to be there. Do you? Yeah. Love them. You okay? I still have mine as well. Really? Oh, good. I think they thought the coming in of them was going to fuck up my whole mouth. Well, they took four.

I had four removed, four, like, molars removed before I got my braces. So, that seems to have alleviated. Same thing happened to me. I had teeth pulled before my braces. Wow. Did you have like the elastics and everything? Were you like one of those guys? Of course.

Me too. I mean, I didn't have top and bottom elastics, but they put elastics on my braces. Yeah. Once a month. All right, here's your next phone call. Hey, Dave and Graham. This is Greg from Roanoke, Virginia.

I was just in the mall, and I was in a shop, and a woman came in behind me with a dog, and the shop owner said to the woman, oh, cute dog, can I pet her? And the woman with the dog said, sure, you can pet her. Just don't touch her butt after all she is a lady so free to away after all you gotta touch a dog's butt how can you

pet a dog without touching his butt it's the closest you can get to their tail because they will not let you tug on their tail no no no so the butt is the closest no you can tell you got you can tug on a dog's tail but you gotta run after if you're ready to go also somebody's saying after all like that seems like out of a script or something after all we are all gentlemen you know what i Like, he wouldn't say after all in regular conversation. Because after all, we are all humans after all. And who's that guy to know what a lady likes? Yeah. Exactly.

What the hell? Yeah. Maybe we like a good bum rub. Yeah. I know like six ladies who like a good bum rub. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Name them.

Okay. Dorothy. Sophia. Rose, Blanche, and the Sweet Valley twins. Yeah, well, you nailed it. Here's your final phone call. Hi, Dave and Graham and probable guests. This is Elizabeth in Portland, Oregon. I'm calling in with an overheard. I was in Seattle a couple

nights ago to see Beyonce and I went to the bathroom at one point and there were, there was like a group of women in there together and one of them was talking about, I don't know, Beyonce's hair or something. And she went into the stall and she was continuing on her conversation. and she was continuing on her conversation and one of her friends called from outside of the stall kirsten i love that you're still talking it was great it was a great show fiance turns out really good um still talking when you're in the just just going on and on yeah i love that about you you just you never shut up yeah it's my favorite part yeah it is truly like it's hack to say but the the bathroom experience of women seems very social whereas if you said anything to a man in a men's bathroom you would get your feet knocked out yeah yeah exactly yeah yeah white come on

everybody let's evolve let's uh let's all have fun in the bathroom right yeah all right you guys let's all you guys are just so public in your bathroom though we're like behind different individual doors if there's no toilet paper one person lying the other person toilet paper like more civil it's more civil, I think. I mean, I'm not, yeah. And we're just lining up to get elbow to elbow with our brethren. After all, we're all urinators, aren't we, folks? Have you ever had a guy spray on you?

Oh, yeah. Oh, sure. Come on. I'd pay 20 bucks for it you go to any kind of stadium they will have nine times out of ten a p trough yeah yeah there's no rules at p trough no i've never had someone spray on me uh but you know you you're open to the possibility I mean like your shoes are gonna like don't examine them too hard

yeah you don't know whose pee is splashing where yeah without a DNA test which I do every time I leave a bathroom I do a little poke oh man well that's the end of this here podcast kate you are coming here to vancouver you are going to be part of the chutzpah festival

do you know the dates so that everybody november 2nd november 2nd not that far away halloween no two days later that's right there you are um well thank you so much for being a guest this has been a blast thank you for having me of course and thank you everybody out there

uh for listening after all we do it for you come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself bye Abby

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