Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 818 - Jackie Pirico

Episode Date: November 21, 2023

Comedian Jackie Pirico returns to talk metal detecting, jogging, and eye drops.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka, and he's Graham Clark, and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello, everybody, and welcome to episode number 818 of stop podcasting yourself my name is graham clark with me as always he's a man who when he folds his hands like that and kind of puts it on his chin he looks like it's a his first ever school photo mr dave shumka did you ever feel at all comfortable taking school photos uh later on in life i loved it but when i was a kid it was just a disaster disaster i felt like they were trying to move my chin a millimeter and i couldn't get it right and i did like i had no idea what this guy was seeing through his camera but apparently

it was monstrous if i unless my chin moved this one way okay now look at me smile and of course when i smile no teeth i think that that throws everyone for a loop as well it's the whole thing with getting a picture taken was what shirt was i allowed to wear that was the argument between my mom and i you know she wanted a nice you know a polo a little little colored shirt but i wanted to dress like spider-man yeah uh i also found uh getting my haircut was a big nope nope don't move your head that way head up chin up no the guy would have to like uh uh you know just basically manhandle me which Which I, you know, I guess that kind of contributed to my later in life kinks.

Our guest today, a returning guest to the podcast, she's oh so funny. If you haven't heard her podcast, it's with Mark Little called How Can We Help? Season one is completed and you can also see her on the ctv television program children ruin everything it's jackie pirico hello well hello thank you so much for having me i love to be here thanks for making the time this is i know you're you've got a full dance card dance cards a little weighty but never too full for for this pod the uh the school photos uh topic is i had a triggering year for school photos once where um well i mean not exactly my fault kind of out of my control um but it was 9 11 and

it was my first year of high school okay wait wait wait 9-11 was out of your control i know i would have look if i would have if i could have yeah you're like mark walbert had i been there things would have gone differently oh yeah he said that i think he's never retracted it i think he still stands by that. You know, if he had been there with his brother, Donnie, if the two of them, me and Donnie had been there,

but then they would have had to have been on separate planes. No. Yeah, that's true. But they could have taken down one each, you know? Yeah. One each,

one each. But I was on my way down to the auditorium to get it, it taken my picture taken. They were calling everyone kind of individually. And I heard about it in the hallways. Oh, shit. So briefly, like, oh, did you hear? Like, so much planes are flying into every building in New York City.

Like, but it was kind of, well, it was exaggerated. Do you have that photo? And does it show on your face? Yeah. Oh, absolutely. There's like two 8x11s and four 5x7s and 16 wallet sizes of me being like what the fuck?

You're like George W. Bush being whispered to. Yeah. Oh yeah, me and him were both in the school setting. Yeah. That's right. It was the same school. He was down the hall reading to some kids. I remember when I was a kid always asking my parents oh do i have to go to school setting today

but no it clearly the photographer didn't know because i like it was such breaking news at that moment that like i walked in he got a turn he's like hello okay legs to the side should say cheese like he was just going about his day and no i and i yeah yeah picture i want you to picture the twin towers in your head smile like the twin towers are here and just yeah know that jet fuel can't melt steel beams oh yeah no uh god damn it picture day was was stressful. But then when I was in high school, I wore the same outfit for all three years. Wow. Wore a green turtleneck for all three photos.

And that contributed to your later in life kinks. Do we want to get to know us? I'm a real Steve Jobs guy, if you get what I'm saying. Oh, my God. Get to know us. Let's go. Get to know us let's go jackie uh i've listened to all of the first season of your podcast which is so funny an advice podcast oh thank you how can we help oh so funny i've learned so much about you with mark little past guest mark little who now is he's on Broadway now

he's he's going to New York yeah he's playing Jafar in the the Broadway Aladdin he's going to be in Dear Evan Hansen coming up

and that's exciting he's going to be but he's going to keep the Jafar costume on I love the show it's my favorite Toronto comedy podcast oh thanks guys and that is well I'm saying it mostly to throw shade at our other friends I love the show. It's my favorite Toronto comedy podcast. Oh, thanks, guys.

Well, I'm saying it mostly to throw shade at our other friends. They're not your friends unless they're drenched in shade. That's true. Yeah, that's how we... You only make fun of the ones you love. That's what Jeff Ross told us. I've learned so much about you from this podcast from listening to this podcast you have a metal detector that's one thing i learned

fascinates me yes and you know what i gotta get it out um it's been since uh i haven't used it in in a little while it's a fantastic one it's a national geographic junior okay have you had it since you were since 9-11 uh no um surprisingly i just got it last christmas okay i love this yeah this is a new it's uh is it something that you've always wanted or was it something you stumbled upon and was like oh i'm into this in a big way always wanted one since i was a little kid and my my grandfather had a cottage in Sobble Beach, which is like north on Lake Huron.

And there was always old men in the early mornings going around with their metal detectors, and I always was like, because I love treasure. I love finding treasure. I always pick things up off the ground. I love hunting for sea glass. I have a vast sea glass collection. I was going to say, you're a sea glass hunter as well

Yeah so it all goes hand in hand My dad has always called me a magpie Like I'm attracted to shiny things Even if they're trash Like a crow really More like a crow Do you call it beach glass? Sea glass?

Yeah it's called that sometimes Yeah I call it sea glass My kids call it mermaid tears oh okay that's adorable that's really cute but i know mermaid tears as a different thing which are like they are glass but they're they're almost like a synthetic beach glass like they're really intentionally ground into like a like a little jewel shape and you can buy them at crafting stores okay oh i'll tell my kids they're wrong tell them they're so far off i can't even i don't even have time to deal with this hey girls you showed your whole

ass on my podcast today um what is like what kind of stuff are you finding metal detector wise are we coins are we talking about uh little bits and bobs um not a lot so far to be honest in the city because i haven't taken it out of the city yet yeah that's my problem i haven't taken out of the city um so my first few times taking it out a lot of what turned out to be rebar that that'll happen if you're going around the city with just yeah just right on blore street you using it to tear old copper pipes out of buildings you know what i would love to get my paws on some copper. Absolutely. But no, nothing much yet.

Coins and not even great ones. So hopefully on a future episode, if I come back, I'll have been able to take it somewhere more interesting. What is like when you fantasize about what you could find? Is it, what is it? I would love to find, oh oh like something like with something sinister story attached like a broken knife blade or like uh like uh or like of course like an ancient something ancient like uh but i mean also here in this like you could find a lot more interesting things if i were like in the uk or something where you can find like medieval coins and like old tools and stuff because i also really follow closely a lot of um social media accounts that

are dedicated to mudlarking that's the word have you heard of this i've heard it on your podcast yeah tell everybody yeah we've heard it from you from your sick ass it's um people go along the thames the river thames and like find yeah this really like they just sift through the muck and find like yeah like medieval coins and weapons and old apothecary tins and like just really old stuff so that would be my ideal find like something stinky and ancient and gross and like and like maybe he's really personal like i'd love to find somebody's medieval embarrassing ointment tin what uh have you gone mudlarking or is this just a fantasy no it's a fantasy and you know it's crazy because i'm there you know more more often

than i used to be because my husband's family is there and no one wants to get down in the muck with me no one wants to sift through the disgustinguck with me. No one wants to sift through the disgusting, diseased muck. Well, maybe they're from the wrong social class. They're big on class over there. Yeah, I float this as a day trip. Their noses are in the air. Yeah, that's the thing with families-in-law. You don't get to pick them, you know?

Hoity-toity, middle-class family- pick them, you know, hoity toity, middle-class family in law. Yeah. They want to stay dry and clean. Sheesh. Sheesh. And disease free. Typhoid free.

There's, there's a guy in Vancouver that is, is like his part-time fun thing. He does is he'll find he'll metal detector all over the parks and all over the beaches. and if he finds something that seems like of sentimental value or something he'll post that he's found it

and try to reunite people with their lost things and he found the guy from Two and a Half Men John Cryer lost his wedding ring and this guy found it and it was in the newspaper yeah he lost it in Vancouver yeah he was filming

something here and it fell off his hand and like in Stanley Park and this guy found it and it was like on the cover of the newspaper and John Cryer was elated I'm assuming no he cried he cried about it. It's not just a name.

Tears of joy, hopefully. Oh, yeah. He'll cry about anything. Joy, sadness. Well, that's so satisfying because, truthfully, I love finding anything anywhere, even in the pockets of, like, thrifted clothing. Unless it's a Kleenex, which really disgusts me. What's the best pocket thing you've found i found a oh well this isn't

the best well there's two interesting ones but i found like in this old ladies trench coat that i bought that was is lovely um well i could tell it was an old ladies because it had this old like boiled ribbon candy like a classic red and white like peppermint candy yes and the wrapper had the candy manufacturer on it that was like from that hasn't been around since the eight i researched it and it was in toronto and it hasn't been around since the 80s this like candy manufacturer i love this that was interesting didn't try and reunite her with it i'm sure she's mint found watching it from beyond the grave um but also i found a lot i found this pair of um levi silver tab jeans from like the early 90s it looked like early mid 90s and there was a kid's library card from their school their elementary school in the card and the last name or like the name on it i found okay i haven't done it yet but i found her on

social media i think wow and she's like a fitness influencer oh like me yeah like you uh should i put you guys in touch yeah i guess i mean we probably already are i'm thinking about reaching out to her and being like do you remember owning a pair of blue silver tabs because i found your library card but i haven't i don't know i haven't worked up the I'm thinking about reaching out to her and being like, do you remember owning a pair of blue silver tabs? Cause I found your library card, but I haven't, I don't know. I haven't worked up the gumption yet.

I bet she can still fit into them though. Cause she's a fitness influencer. Oh yeah. That is the greatest. I've never found anything even close to that. Interesting. I think like an old pack of juicy fruit I found in a coat. And that was kind of, that was kind of novel.

Yeah. Was it like the, the original like kind of novel. Yeah. Was it like the original sticks? Yeah. Wow. Like, had been abandoned for many years. Didn't try the gum. Wanted to, but against my better judgment, I didn't.

Although, is that my better judgment? Did I go against it? I went with it. I went with my better judgment. That foil isn't, you know, safety seal like there's there's grit in there those um those mints that you were talking about i remember they used to restaurants would have like a bowl with a huge pile of them as you were leaving the restaurant that or toothpicks and i i was just thinking i don't see those anymore is it like yeah what the hell does that did that become like a uh, we don't want to be your, this isn't your

parents restaurant anymore. Yeah. Maybe, but maybe it could make a comeback for nostalgia. I remember I, what restaurant was it? There was some restaurant that had a big jar of like, remember, Oh, how do I describe them? They were like all pastel colored and they were mints that were shaped almost like little tiny pillows. Oh, I know what you're talking about.

And they were like kind of soft and chewy and like you could just scoop a big old... They're like scotch mints, but they're like a weirder... Yeah. They get stuck in your molars? Yes, and they're kind of like scotch mints, like matte, you know? They haven't to sheen to them.

We've mentioned Cryer and Sheen. Is it a two and a half men reunion? Could there be a reunion on the horizon? There was one at a Chinese restaurant that we used to go to when I was a kid, and it was self-serve. There was a little spoon, and you were expected to just take one by a dog. Were they wrapped? Nope.

It was a different time. You know what? That's the risk they run, leaving all those out. Yeah. And it was, they weren't great or anything, but they were there and they were free. Boy, there were so many ways. That's all that you need sometimes.

There were so many ways you could get sick from a restaurant back then. Yeah. Just open mints, the smoking section. Yeah. I don't even know if they had a guard on any of the buffets back then. No, probably not. Yeah.

No guard. When was the last time you hit a buffet? Are you a buffet person? Oh, as kids, we definitely were. Whenever there was like a family get together, especially on my dad's side, it was always like a Chinese buffet but it was never mandarin i know that everybody grew up going to mandarins i didn't go to mandarins until my adulthood these were always like rogue like off-brand like king china king's buffet what is mandarins is that oh sorry mandarin is a

big uh chain chinese buffet chain i guess maybe just here but everyone has we weren't i guess you know metropolitan enough for mandarin and guelph sure we had one that was uh chain in calgary and it had a pretty racist name oh that i only realized that as an adult looking back i was like hmm that was uh then it wasn't great you're not gonna say it nope all right well yeah don't give them the free promotion yeah they're still there but yeah i do love a buffet we refuse but we're expanding but i remember my aunt who is notoriously like quite tight with money. She would not let her boys, my cousins,

uh, eat the bread around the chicken balls. No, she would like deep bread, the chicken balls. Cause it's like a waste of space in your belly. And she's actually so mean that one time her son you said that she was so tight before and now also like kind of cut though because her son my cousin daryl we were all loading up at some buffet

we were always at the buffet and he had like a full plate of food he was probably like about 12 at this time i was a bit younger i was like eight He had a full plate of food and he is a little like younger kid. He dropped it. And it would just like clattering, clattering all over the floor, smashing all over the floor. And she was near him and she took off, abandoned him in his time of need out of embarrassment.

And my dad, her, her brother was like, like went and helped him. Oh, don't worry about it, buddy. This happens all the time.

Helped him like kind of sweep it up and got it. But she was off. You couldn't see her for smoke. Can you imagine? My dad still talks about it. And evidently so do I. Yeah. This aunt sounds terrible. She's mean, tight, and cutthroat.

I feel like back in the just post vaudeville days you could have a whole career that was just like I'm a character who's cheap I could be the whole character I'm a cheap character like a little mean kind of lazy that could be somebody's whole entire persona

for their whole career Berenstain Bears had a character like that but no one remembers him but me kind of lazy. That could be somebody's whole entire persona for their whole career. Berenstain Bears had a character like that, but no one remembers him but me. Okay. What was his deal? Who was he? Raffish Ralph.

What? Yeah. No one remembers this character but me. Is he a bear as well? Yeah. Yeah. Is he a grown up or a child? Grown up. And he lived on a riverboat and he was kind of like a,

like a schemer and kind of like a, like a kind of snake oil salesman energy. And he lived on a riverboat. Okay. And he would kind of scam and scheme the bears of bears town or whatever. Yeah. Raffish Ralph. Raffish Ralph. Okay.

Um, they, uh, I don't know him, but we, with the kids, we read a lot of them cause they were, um, they, they were cheap. And, uh, like, yeah, okay. I'll get you a $6 book. Um, I mean, it'll take six minutes to read it, but you'll read it a hundred times, but they, we would, um, we read a lot of them. And then some, I was talking about them a couple years ago and someone wrote in and said oh yeah i work at a bookstore and one year my just like all summer i just read every berenstain bears book and the sun took over at one point and they got quite christian no i mean or, that's fine.

But you think Berenstain is a Jewish name? Yeah. But like, was there a Jesus of their situation? Yes, in their religion, there was a bear Jesus. A bear Jesus. A bear Judas. a bear Jesus. A bear Jesus. A bear Judas. I guess I didn't get to that late kind of era of

Berenstain Bears. Apparently it's bad. Damn. I don't remember anything except that I always thought their feet looked weird. Yes. Yes. They did. They were kind of like grinchy looking. Yes. They were like grinchy feet. Yeah. Sometimes I say about my cat

nutland because she's like very fuzzy and fluffy like she'll have her feet in a certain way when and when she's sleeping that i'm like banstein bare feet banstein bare feet and does she get it oh she gets it how is nutland how's nutland with the mood great nutland is so uh thank you for asking she's so adaptable. She's such a good girl. And she's like, me and her have lived in so many apartments. She just really rolls with it. She's like, okay.

Oh, I live here now. Right on. But what she doesn't like is the setting everything up. She gets irritated by that. Yeah. Well, cats like to knock things down. Yeah, they don't want the things put back up. That's against their whole kind of ethos. Yeah, they loved when you were down. Yeah, they don't want the things put back up. That's against their whole kind of ethos.

Yeah, they loved when you were packing. Yeah, let me help you with doing it. Knocking things into boxes. Now, you keep moving your computer back and forth. Is the sun in your eyes? Sorry, it's a sunbeam. It's a sunbeam. My house is too cheerful and bright.

But also, you moved it before, and I thought I saw a ring light behind you. Oh, yeah. Is that a ring light? It is. But I thought, you know, it's so bright, I don't need it. No, yeah, but apparently it's too bright. No, you look very good. It's a very good light. Oh, thanks, guys. Thanks. Yeah, very flattering. Thank you. I'm in my kitchen window,

which I haven't had a nice, big kitchen like this in a long time. It's very novel for me. I had a really small, shitty kitchen before. That's what novel for me. I had a really small shitty kitchen before. That's what I have now. A galley, they would call it. That was it. Yeah, that was mine before. Real narrow, tiny, tiny little stove.

Oh, yeah. So now me and my husband can both be in here and I don't have to be like, what business do you have in here right now? Now, are you are you the chef here right now? Now, are you, uh, are you the chef of the household? Do you both cook? Is he a good cook?

Uh, I am the only one that cooks anything. Um, but we know what, this is crazy. We do not eat the same meals ever when we're at home. What? I,

yeah. Cause I'm on quite a... I would boil this down to our height difference. Okay. And I don't want to start talking about diet culture here. You're seven and a half feet tall. And he's a runt. No, I am barely five feet.

He's six three. And so because of that, I have... And again, I'm not promoting diet culture whatsoever but i have because there's no real estate with my height for any weight gain to distribute itself right literally if i gain like three pounds that's the difference of being able to like do up my jeans or not okay so i have to walk such a tight rope of like like i have no wiggle room otherwise it means having to like change my wardrobe so i eat the same thing all the time and it's not and elliot can really eat whatever he likes and it's fine look at all that he's like has so much real estate

to fluctuate and wait and wear the same damn clothes. Son of a bitch. So he can eat pizza and have fun, cool food and like, and I eat healthy, like I eat healthy and I make myself, but he doesn't want what I eat. You take the little breading off the chicken balls. Haven't had chicken ball bread since 92. Yeah. Meanwhile, he's

carrying plate after plate. He's dropping them on the ground. Sometimes I think. So yeah, he eats like whatever he wants and he orders in a lot and he eats takeout a lot. And if I did that every night like him, good night. Good night. See you later, pants. But I, you know,

I got these new silver tabs and they fit just nice. Real nice. Now, when you were first dating, would you guys go out for dinner? Or was that just like, this is too complicated. Let's go see a movie. No, all the time.

And that's what actually scared me straight. Because when I was keeping up with him and eating, like when we were first dating, we're always out late at night, drinking all the time, always getting A&W and slices of pizza late at night. And I was just like, because I have a huge appetite and I can eat, I can eat whatever he eats like easily. I love food. Yeah. And I was keeping up with him. And again,

I'm not, I'm not trying to body shame myself or say anything, but I got so fat. Jackie has a diet book coming out. She's got a diet book coming out that she wants to plug at the end of the show, but it's called don't eat anything you like. My husband's huge. Yeah. The five foot diet but yeah i i just like rapidly gained so much weight when we were

first together that i was like i can't be eating like you and and he he has a sweet tooth and he loves he's like a real well what i would call a mungie cake. He loves bad food and fast food. Yeah, we all use the phrase mungie cake. I love that phrase because I feel I'm very much a mungie cake. Yeah, I'm a mungie cake. I got bearish in bear's feet. My doctor's very worried about me. It's like a form of gout.

Yeah. Now, you said you went to A&W with him do you know what A&W stands for? Dave do you know what A&W stands for? Anderson and Wright or something? close it's close

it stands for hamburgers and whoop beer and that's how we like to end the show and uh yeah thanks uh everybody i had i went there a few weeks ago i feel like they gave me a diet root beer by accident i feel like everywhere like pop has changed a lot like the in the i feel like everything is a little more diet tasting yeah oh interesting i well i never have the what the british call full fat coke um i never i always have the diet version do you have do you go a diet or you go to coke zero well actually i don't even drink i only the only pop i drink is ginger

ale and that's a once in a blue moon yeah i've given up i've given up the pop i've uh i'll do once in a while at a and w i'll have a root beer but that's oh yeah but you know what root beer is hard to hard to pass up because root beer is my movie theater pop and i will go full root beer i don't even think they have diet root beer do they they probably do yeah i remember yeah actually i remember seeing a family on the ferry like that they brought their own lunch to eat together and they had like a two liter of diet root beer and i remember thinking well nobody chose that that was like that was all i was left concessions after like okay well you have to have diet you like root beer so we're gonna get diet root beer oh we're gonna look high and low we're gonna go in every

corner of every grocery store but i when i was a kid i i drank some of my mom's diet coke and i was like this is terrible and i'm shocked that people still drink diet drinks because they just they have that weird fake sweetness the ascertain yeah like there's like a bitter kind of like kind of sucralose and yeah oh yeah i know it's not good but you know what the ginger disguises it pretty good okay this is a diet ginger ale we're talking yeah and this time of year this is my time of year diet uh cranberry ginger ale for the holidays oh yes yes i love it but yes uh i also feel like those machines where you can program your own drink at the movie theater

i think i heard that like everything starts with diet and then the flavors that you add add sugar oh okay so it just starts what it just starts with like diet coke and then you add like you know uh it'll just add sugar to Diet Coke or something. Oh, weird. I don't like those new computers at the risk of sounding old and and you like it where they would like put the syrup in and then load it up like a soda shop. Getting a lime Ricky. Yeah. Oh, wait, is that how they did it back in the back in the soda fountain days? Oh, you get yourself a you know

an egg cream you get a phosphorus I I think it's one of those things it's like if you've had nothing but diet coke for a decade you don't even think about the taste it's just like an automatic

100% and so don't even think about the taste it's just like an automatic 100 coke and yeah and so don't go back to the the other side because you'll never be it's like when me and my husband are sitting there eating dinner and i'll have a bite of his delicious i don't know mac and cheese or something and then i'll go and then i'll he'll like want a bite yes and i'm oh and then i go back to my like lean turkey chili and i'm like great now my supper tastes like shit so you can't go anywhere together that's not only can you not you you can't eat big portions you can't have anything you like i like it until i taste something good

now when you go to a movie, do you splash out? You're like, I'm going to just eat all the junk I want because I go nuts at the movie. Yeah. And I'm making myself sound really like like rigid about this. But I do like, you know, I treat myself quite often as well. I just try and have consistency with not. But like, oh, yeah, like I'm going to the movies this Saturday, and I'm going to get a big old popcorn

and I'm going to get maybe some, what's my chocolate I'll get? Something chocolate. I have to get a treat and popcorn and a root beer. You ever put the treat in the popcorn? I'm not big on that. Yeah. Because then it's like, I like to have the separation like ow, ow. Yeah.

What is your, so you're going to a movie this Saturday. Yeah. We're talking on Thursday. That's a lot of planning in advance. You will be seeing a movie on Remembrance Day when we're supposed to be solemn. But at least, I'm sure you'll be seeing a solemn movie. Now tell me what movie you're seeing. It's very solemn.

It's comedy. now tell me what movie you're seeing it's very solemn it's uh it's comedy it's um it's actually uh my you know jeremy larder who is on is a cool creative funny guy on the east coast he just made a movie with chris lock with chris lock yeah and so it's called who's your father and it's now it just it premiered in halifax recently but now it's here and so i'm going to the one where there's a q a after with the whole um production and cast and everything fun yeah can you ask chris lock um where does he get his sweaters oh he is a real clothes horse isn't he he is yeah he's we talk about fashion all the time. Yeah. He's really courting that kind of, uh,

lighthouse keeper aesthetic. I feel like that's what he's chasing after. He'll love to hear that. Yeah. Yeah. Just ask it from the crowd. He'll be, it would be very weird to ask your personal friend a question in a public Q and A.

I know it would be. So I'll just be like, where'd you get that sweater? Do you ever have that at a Q and A where there's somebody stands up and just does basically a monologue and then there's no question at the end yeah oh i know no that's that's not true people say that happens but it doesn't um yeah i uh brent but past guest but i went to his book launch there was a q a after and somebody did that somebody pulled a thing that was like well there's no question there that was there's just a statement that you made and then sat down and and it's to it's to posture about

how much they may know about something yeah you get you. I get Brent Butt more than anyone else. Yeah, exactly. Sit back, everybody. All these people, everyone else here at this book launch is a phony. And the book is catcher in the rock. In fact, I carry it with me everywhere. Can I get your autograph, sir?

I can't wait to read that book. It's huge, right? Yeah. Yeah. I have a copy. Haven wait to read that book. It's huge, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I have a copy. Haven't started reading it yet. That's on me.

I've been, you know, watching too many YouTube videos. I got to scale back. I got to scale back. What's your favorite YouTube videos lately? Right now, I'm interested in, and I was interested in them a while ago, but then I found more of them is videos of people like going on amusement rides and they film them the whole ride. Like, so I just watched a Jurassic

Park one last night. That was like fantastic. Yeah, I just enjoy watching. I think they're not supposed to take these videos. I think they're Oh, sure they can. Is it because they're giving away the ride and people won't go to the, like, they'll be like you and just watch it on YouTube and going and paying them.

Graham, are you a thrill seeker? No, uh, but I like watching it at a distance, you know, but do you like not, do you dislike riding the rides?

No, I like, like, I haven't been on a Disney style ride for like my adult life. So I don't know. I don't know what those are like I know them from videos but I don't like roller coasters and things like that

I just end up getting sick you know I just don't want to be the guy who like conks out on a roller coaster and like soils himself I do like those ones like the ones that are like the sudden drop

the elevator where the person passes out I like those ones the like the ones that are like the sudden drop uh the elevator and where the person passes out i like those and they're like passouts are are so interesting to watch their neck like i worry about their neck yeah i know i've never passed out on a ride i've been on all of the big ones at our park and called's Wonderland. Our park in Canada. All the highest octane. Our park. It's a wonderland. It's Canada's park.

I was at an amusement park in the UK a couple years ago called Thorpe Park. Thorpe Park. And, oh, my God. Me and my husband took my, his very much younger sister, who at the time was, I think, just barely 13. She was probably 12. And so, yeah, I have a 12. Well, I have a 14 year old sister in law now. And she it was during like their March, like their school break.

It was like an obviously a nightmare. So busy. But we went on this saw ride. Okay. Like saw theme, like the torture porn movie okay and like it was it was like a mix between a roller coaster and a haunted house so it was part of it was inside and part of it and i'm like how are they gonna make this thematic like are we going to is it going to seem like we're getting parts of our body chopped off or i like

horror movies i don't like torture porn and saw and whatever. Yeah. But one of the funniest elements of this, one of the funny scares of this ride was like when it was inside, it was creepy. And the guys on his bike or whatever. And then the, they puff,

it went and puff like kind of wet steam. It looked like steam, but it was cold. But it smelled like an old, like a towel that never got completely dried in a ball. Like it stunk. And it just lent itself to this kind of whole shabby atmosphere. I'm like, that stunk. That's where they take your photo is at that moment.

Yeah. You want to buy a photo? Like. Yeah. You want to buy a photo? Like. Yeah. But the older I get, the less I like rollercoasters. I just feel like when your sense of mortality is increasing as you age, I'm just like, what if I'm the one that they're like, breaking news, a horrible event happened on a rollercoaster.

The roller coaster here froze this summer and people had to climb down. Oh my god. Yeah, like it got stuck on an incline. But it wasn't too, it wasn't like upside down or anything. No. It was like, it hadn't even started,

like it had gone up the incline and the rest of the ride, like it hadn't gone down anything yet. Yeah. But I would have sat in that car until they disassembled the whole thing. So it sucked all, it was like the 65th anniversary of that ride. And every day it was broken. Yeah.

Wow. That sounds haunted. It was haunted by Mark Wahlberg and Reese Witherspoon. Doing the nasty on it. Yeah, that's our roller coaster's big claim to fame. Yeah. Was it actually the film there? Yeah, it was the Fear roller coaster.

Yeah. Gotta get on that coaster. It used to just be called the coaster, but now it's called the smell my finger coaster i love that her dad in that movie is grisham grissom from the original csi yeah who is in one of my favorite movies um which is uh red dragon red dragon yes no not right but but not right no oh the uh manh man man hunter yeah there's a scene in fear where he's walbert's talking to grissom and they're talking about he's like have my daughter back at 11 or whatever and on his way out he like changes the clock like he really quickly just moves the hand to the clock and i was like so is this guy dad's only reference of time is just this one clock in

his office he doesn't have a watch on or any other room he lives in a state-of-the-art almost like architectural feat of like yeah yes wonder yeah one clock one clock no tvs and he's like yeah he says have my daughter back by 11. And Mark Wahlberg is like, did you say stop 9-11? Because I could. Because I could. I could. I would have. I love the, I just love the idea of a person who has that kind of brain in their skull.

It's like. Yeah. Grandi, delusions of grandeur. Yeah. What did he say? He said said if i was on that plane it would have gone different would have gone it would have gone down differently i think yeah oh yeah i like in his head that he's like i wrestled down the terrorists then i get into the pilot seat and then i got i would actually watch a movie starring him that that's what happens in

the movie uh 9-11 walbert version yeah that's not bad i would watch that um yeah i i also i don't like dave i know you like you like a roller You like a, you like a giddy thrill. I do. I can't, my body is not great at handling it. Do you, or have you ever done one of those with the feet dangling? I've never done one of those.

I've only done one. No, I don't think I have. That was one of my first ones. Yeah. That was one of my first styles. And like the, the first really big one I went on was a dangler. What was it called?

Vortex? Sure. We'll believe you. Whatever. You could have said anything there. Yeah. I love those danglers. Also, there's a stand-up one at Canada's Wonderland that's very cool.

Do you have to do stand-up? Yeah. I know somebody comes out and they're like, so are you celebrating anything? There's a little microphone and a little brick wall behind you and uh it sucks no but it's kind of funny you sit on like a bike seat almost and like it adjusts to your height but then your feet are like flat on this platform but yeah you're standing up the whole time it's kind of cool that's uh yeah i've just i never had a chance to go on the dang.

I would be worried about my shoes the whole time. That's the big thing with my ride experiences. I don't want my shoes to fall. I don't want my phone to fall out of my pocket. I remember I once did a, there was a ride at the PNE where, like, you're spinning around, which I hate. I didn't realize at the time that that's a bad thing for me. Uh, and it was spraying you with water,

uh, or there's like a mist spring, but it's like outdoors. It's, uh, it wasn't too bad. And I was like, Oh,

Oh, I don't want to ride with my hoodie. I'll just leave my hoodie here. And then, uh, when I, the ride finished, I was nauseous and my hoodie was soaked. Cause I put it in like right next to the sprayer.

The splash zone. So I had to carry around this wet hoodie for the rest of the day. Like more wet than it probably would have if you worn it. Yeah, definitely. That is my nightmare scenario though like having to like wrecking something at the fair or losing something at the fair um otherwise eating the garbage food i'm on yeah yes man i had yeah i actually had mini donuts not that long ago and they're fucking amazing they are amazing they're kind of like i love those mini donuts with the powder because they're kind of like

the powder's kind of like cold tasting or something. It's like tingly or something. Oh, and I love a funnel cake. Oh my lord. Give me a funnel. Can you guys have those there? Funnel cakes? We do, but I don't really, that's never been a big part of my fair experience. Oh, to me that's such

a carnival fair food. There was a big thing a few years ago when the original mini donut company lost their contract with the fair. And so they replaced them with another one and people were upset. And I can't taste the difference. And it's not like they replaced this small company with like, you know, Hallib mini donuts or something but man what a day i bet the stock market was like nuts that morning wall street was on fire um yeah it was uh Yeah, I was. Now, on your podcast, you get anonymous requests for advice. Right. Do you feel in your day to day life that you like you want to jump in there? Somebody's working out something. Do you like to get in there and throw advice?

Are you like only if asked only if I'm asked? Oh, right. Yeah. I know that's interesting because as as i'm uh yeah you really only if asked because i don't like i don't like the liability of giving unsolicited advice and then and then it's the wrong thing like so yeah i do like to be asked but sometimes i hope i don't do this too much but as i'm getting um you know more seasoned in the comedy scene and all these lovely younger women are starting comedy and i get to like have working relationships and friendships with them i see them going through a lot of the same things that i did or like you know in like dating comics and like all of this stuff so when you gotta oh it's you gotta try it anybody out there who's looking for

some companionship can i i cannot recommend enough data a stand-up save a horse write a comic and so you know when they when we're gabbing and girl talking or whatever and i do well the biggest advice that i the only unsolicited advice that I will give sometimes is. Don't waste your time and energy on these guys. You're so young and pretty. You've got everything going for you. Because I just remember wasting time being like, oh, he doesn't like me or whatever. And now I look back at some of these guys. Well, I'm like, I was I was concerned about that. at some of these guys well i'm like i was i was concerned about that so like i do enjoy i i don't i don't like to insert myself with advice when unasked but i do enjoy the the the fact that i'm

at this time of my life where my experiences can be valuable for someone else yeah and i'm sure i got this advice when i was that and was like whatever and probably not taking it you know it's so cute and so I'm this one girl um and she was like I'm seeing someone um and blah blah blah and uh but he just got out of like a serious thing like she's very young he just got out of a serious thing I'm like oh yeah and and she goes and I was like how long was his last thing she was like like six months and I was like oh right right right like I've got marital disputes that last longer than that. I've got an item sitting on the stairs that I want put away longer than that serious relationship. So it's funny. But yeah, but not to diminish anyone's experience, but it's just interesting and funny.

Yeah, yeah. It's yeah, I look forward to the day that I have something to offer in the way of advice to somebody, but that expertise has not just, it hasn't come into useful just yet. I feel like, I think you've got a lot of good gems rattling around in there. Yeah.

Like, you know, always get the shopper's points, no matter how in a hurry you are, scan that card. It's going to be worth something. You know what? Get everything you can out of those bastards.

They're ripping you off at every turn. Get a credit card that gives you scene points so that you could go. Get some kind of points. I don't have scene points on my credit card, but I got scene points when I go to Safeway. You've got to get them.

Absolutely. Be a member of all. That's actually a past guest, Erica Sergison. She's a member of like every hotel chain rewards program. So whenever she travels, she gets like an extra thing here or there. She gets free this or free that. And it's just, you just have to sign up as a member and give them your email and then they and that's it yeah but she's like a member of all

of them i have one of those i think i'm a marriott i'm a bonvoy member as well marriott bonvoy but i don't ever stay in hotels like i get every month they send me uh here's your points balance. Zero points. I'm a Marriott enthusiast. I like, you know what? I'll always do a chain hotel. I've been burned by boutique, independent boutique, urban experience hotel in Brooklyn and stuff. And you get there and it's a literal crumbling crack den. Yeah. And I know more. I'm a Bonvoy at Marriott Courtyard. Put me in the

Holiday Inn. Brand enthusiast. Nice. Nice. See, that's some good advice. Pass that next time you're talking to a young comedian. When you're in hell touring on a dismal tour that you're financing yourself. Always stay at the Bonvoy.

It is one of my favorite things to see what a comedian strung together as a tour. What they call a tour. Because there'll be several dates in one city. I'm like, well, that doesn't count. That doesn't count. Yeah. And then all of a sudden, down on the list, it's that city again. It's like, is this just a show?

Do you live there? Is that just a show? Yeah. You're just doing some shows and then some other shows and then back to doing shows. I mean, look, I admire the hustle of putting together anything to be honest.

I've actually never gone on a, well, I, back in 2016, I did a little kind of independent tour-y thing out West. You were, you were campaigning for Trump, I remember. Yeah, and it worked. Yeah.

Dave, what's going on with you, my friend? Oh, well, not much this week. But I, so I, much like Silver tab jeans, I am a fitness influencer. Congratulations. Now, you know the exercise that I do, Graham. I do. You do yoga. I do some yoga.

I play hockey. Yeah, you play hockey. I play tennis with my dad once a week. Nice. But this summer, my dad was, oh, the days of the week that I could play with my dad didn't line up with my work. Yeah. And so I didn't play for like all summer. And then he went away.

He went to New York for October. And so I only played my dad at tennis like once since June. And so I had this pent up energy and I began jogging. Oh, wow. This is a big lifestyle shift. This is huge. It is and it isn't. Because I only kind of started when the temperature stopped being super hot in the summer.

Smart. And then I only would jog once a week. Okay. That seems a lot to me, to be honest. Me too. Every other week, I think, is fine, would suffice. And I have an app on my phone that keeps track track of uh how how where i'm going and like how to know that i've done you've you know how many kilometers i've done and yeah and so like

i was like oh i'm actually you know i'm doing five kilometers and uh it's tough and then i do it the next week oh i'm actually according to, according to my app, I beat my personal record. And then as the weather got cooler, it was like, okay, this is actually pretty comfortable to be running in this. And then the rain started and it got very cold. And I was like, huh. Now, do I make the jump to being a running guy? Right. This is the crux of your, there's the fork in the road here

yeah do i buy like the long tights and the like gloves and um like a running coat and uh let me tell you no i'm not going to do that and that's a big thing for me because i love to buy stuff i do oh yeah it feels great buying especially especially that like kind of cool stuff yeah but uh so that's where it's so what are you gonna do now if your dad goes away in the winter and you've got all that bottled tennis energy tennergy i don't know um but he's back we've played this week um but i wanted to share something on my so i have this running app called Strava and it like, it shows you your route that you've run and it tells you like, oh, you, you did your second best at one mile and your best at three miles. And, but it will also, Graham, are you listening?

You look like you're watching something on your. No, yeah, I'm listening. My recording hiccuped for a second but yes i am listening no it's funny that you say that is that i was looking at him closely because i thought he was frozen no something all of a sudden there was like a noise blip so i just started re-recording so sorry i was i was zoomed out a little bit there for a second um well actually i went running this past weekend and I was like, oh, there's like a 30 minute window where it's not going to rain. And then it started pouring rain on me.

And I was like, this sucks. Then I got home. This app sucks. And it was like, you destroyed your previous five kilometer record. I'm like, oh, maybe this is good. That's the ultimate motivator. I, uh, I could never do with apps, any kind of tech stuff to do with running or jogging. Even listening to stuff.

It's too much of a setup. It's too much work, tech work. I need to listen to a podcast because I can't. I need something to distract me. And music, like the rhythm of the music doesn't do it for me. That's amazing, though though like running is i find i've attempted it i used to love to run when i was a kid like cross-country team or whatever sure it's so hard but then i saw a lady online being like listen the reason

running is hard is because people think you have to go fast but she's like don't you don't even have to go faster than you are actually walking like and then it becomes easy and then you just get there is that what you find with that like how did you get the motivation to keep going oh i the app helps because it's like okay if i get this far then i still have to come home so i know that like okay if i go two and a half kilometers then it's another two and a half kilometers home yeah and it lets you know like hey buddy just don't keep going just just keep going because you're gonna have to come home um and then i go through i i run through shaughnessy which is like uh frou-frou neighborhood very frou-frou but so like the roads are all um like windy and like there's a couple dead ends um or like i get lost

in there a little bit and it's it's the houses are either like gigantic they look like a castle or they're a enormous bungalow from 80 years ago. I love a big bungalow so much. I love that route. But they feel very like, Oh, the person who lives here is bought this place when it was, uh,

more affordable and now they can't afford to do anything with it. And I bet, I bet this is a really big, like a lot of empty space inside. Sure. And filthy. You ask them if you can go in there and run around for a bit? Yeah. It's raining out.

Let me run around your bungalow. Dead ends. And there's a lot of sidewalks that are like, the properties are so big that the people can't keep track of all the stuff that's fallen on their sidewalk from the storm the night before sounds like a bit of a gray garden it is it is and but it's also mixed with like you know super wealthy young people who i assume are some kind of drug dealer oh yeah absolutely it's the two ways. Stop in. Yeah. Stop in. Get a little, pick me up for the way home. Um, but there, on the app, I've discovered that there's this,

um, there's like, people have like, root, not just roots, but also like, little parts of the road that they've nicknamed. Okay.

And so there's this one area that I, like Winnie the Pooh Lane, like that kind of thing. Pooh Corner. Pooh Corner. Why is this place called Pooh Corner? Oh, now I know. There's one area on my run that someone has named Down We Go. And I only discovered this after I got back when I was looking at my stats for the run it was like oh you did 42 seconds on down we go and and i was so the next time i did the run i did not don't tell anybody that i never did that at all and it's a 110 meter section uh which it goes from it goes down a hill is this something that like has a sign or something no it's just something i noticed on the app because it's just something i noticed on the app because it's like an aggregate thing where everybody can input things like people who don't even know that they're going down this route um have are and then like i don't share my stats

with people but people are very public about like this i'm on the leaderboard for the down we go 110 meter section which is like some sometimes i run this section there's just a car run car runs a stop sign in front of me that's going to take away a few seconds seconds yeah damn them never mind breaking the law but they've taken away seconds but then i checked yeah i checked the leaderboard it's a 110 meter section so basically like just over a hundred meter dash and the uh segment leader on down we go i did it in six seconds wow so that would be faster than the fastest human alive yeah what so is he lying i think people drive these routes sometimes ah okay that's how badly do you need like recognition that you're doing that and then be like everyone can see how rock and roll i am you're in a car it's uh maybe a bike maybe bike but still that's so dangerous

yeah when i was like i tried to do that when when I was, like, I tried to do that. When I last tried to go running, I tried to do an app. And it just, it was too much work. Because when I first ran years and years ago, I would just be like, can I make it to that tree? And make it to that tree and then back. And then the next day, I'm like, a couple steps beyond the tree. And then back. And, like, that's the only thing you

can keep track of it's like kilometers or a route or anything where i have to connect things to my body to go do nah just well it dissuades me because i'm like there's so much so many steps now in order to go you know what i mean like before actually exercising right yeah there it's barriers to doing it that's why some people say like, you don't have to worry about if you're working out at home, like you can, you can work out if you want in your pajamas, like trying to like,

you don't need to lift weights. You can lift soup cans. Yeah. Yeah. And it's true. Like all those barriers really kind of put you off sometimes. Cause I'm like, or sometimes if I've just washed my hair,

I'm like, but now I'm going to work out and I haven't washed my hair my hair like well you know what anything can stop me from I I get my only form of like exercise thank god is that I walk tons I like love to walk but if it wasn't for that I'd be such a I don't know my lifestyle determines your death style I i i don't know comedy is so bad i find for for a healthy active lifestyle yeah although you know comedy stand-up's good because you're not supposed to sit true i do my stand about my at a stand-up desk on stage and you stand up when you go to roller coaster yeah i do sit down comedy but i sit on a yoga ball yeah yeah yeah engage that core engage that

core um i don't like when a comic like is on stage like i don't personally ever sit on the stool that's fine but i hate when someone gets up there and immediately they're on the stool it's like you haven't earned this you haven't earned this that's that's't earned this. That's the correct. What are you, Bill Cosby? Yeah. Hope not. Because I always leave my drinks all over the bar. Yeah, you have to get like at least a couple pops before,

like of laughter before you can ease back onto that stool, in my opinion. When I did stand-up, I would put my little notes on the stool uh and i still do to this but even then i would be like can't look at them until i get a few pops good see your discipline this is why you get it with the running well i also feel like the audience is like you didn't know your first joke yeah that's a good point. Yeah. I like the idea. I still use notes on stage.

That's like a bad habit that I've just carried through the whole time I've been doing stand-up. I never go up. People that go up and work on a new seven without notes and stuff baffle me. I'm so impressed. I was pretty... never go up to people that go up and like work on a new seven without notes and stuff. Baffle me.

I'm so impressed. I was pretty before the pandemic. I didn't, I wasn't always reliant on having notes on stage, but something about it, like after coming back, I don't know. My memory is not as good or like, I don't know.

I feel like I, I, I, or at the very least, I need a little piece of paper in my pocket as like a talisman of my set list or something like, and I don't often necessarily use it, but I have to have it.

It's like my spinning top on a, um, what's that movie called? Oh, inception, inception. See, I need my notes,

but like also, um, what do you say when you forget a joke? How, how do you kill time? Cause I know a lot of comics would be like, yeah, what else did I want to,

right? What else is going on? Uh, you know, I'm so wordy and I, I'm so like, I don't, I don't often find myself having to like hum,

hum and ha like that. Sometimes I'm like, excuse me, sorry, I have to consult my trapper keeper. As time goes on, less and less people know what the hell that is. And then I explain to them, sometimes they say, oh, sorry, but like I have to look at my

trapper keeper. My mind is a sieve. And then I can't say that without going, my mama trying to tell me how to live. But I don't say that without going my mama trying to tell me how to live but I don't listen to her because my mind is like a soup

and also less and less people understand that as I as I can name a couple of people who don't understand that is it these two guys here in front of me

yeah possibly what it's the song from Cheech and jong up in smoke okay oh shit okay it's their band like you know how they're going to like play a like a garage band like battle of the bands yeah i didn't remember this song i knew i probably no one does but it gets a reaction not a great one but all the time. I think the song rocks. It does. The way you sang it, it rocks. It's Cheech Marin singing that.

Civ is spelled S-I-E-V-E. Yeah, it's like, you know, a pasta strainer. That's messed up, man. What a weird word. Or handy with mudlarking as well. I bet it would be good. I do use the word civ very often when I'm talking about my memory. Like it is.

It's like a sieve. My mom's like a steel trap. She remembers everything. Anyway, what's going on with you, Graham? As previously stated on another episode of the podcast, the year is coming to a close, which means you only have so much time to use those benefits. If you've got benefits benefits the window is closing

and so I'm doing every possible thing that the insurance covers I'm doing things I've never done before I've gone and done acupuncture I'm going to go to an osteopath which apparently they do little

tiny adjustments like instead of cracking your spine, they just like move your shoulder this way. And apparently it's, I've never been to before, so I don't know what to expect. I'm going to a Rasta Eopath. I'm going to a Rastafarian.

I'm going to crack my dreadlocks. Yeah. I'm going to go to Olive Garden and i didn't see what they have yeah one trip to olive garden a year is covered i've never known exactly what an osteopath does so i appreciate that that explanation i've never even inquired like so it's just small little movements depending on like what your area of concern is. Ah, yeah. A little tune up.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just get a little, a little pop, a little crack here and there. Oh, I could use a few. Um, where are you? What's bugging you? The other morning I wrote, maybe it's from the move.

Cause by like, so me and my husband just moved and we did the entire move. Just the two of us. Why? Well you know what because it was one of those scenarios where we had both places for a month which is like a double edged sword because you know like it overlapped so we had a slow kind of like long drawn out move so we

could take little bits bit by bit but yeah we moved just the two of us and I mean I'm stronger than the two of us and I mean, I'm stronger than I look. I mean, in your situation everything is on a crazy tilt between the two of you.

Yeah, but there's also like this place has like two sets of stairs. It's a walk, like it's crazy. Anyways, so I'm a little bit, I think I could use a few. The other morning I rolled over and I heard a like in my shoulder. And also I feel like I hold this. I've never felt this before.

I pulled a muscle. It feels like I yanked a muscle away from my clavicle. So I went to give someone a hug and I went, the poor person right in the air. So, yeah, but, but what else are you doing with your, what are the things to acupuncture? That's that's,

I've never done that either. One thing I wanted to take advantage of, but, uh, you needed a doctor's note was to go to, um, Canada's wonderland, go to Canada's wonderland.

You're allowed to go on one, the scariest ride, but you need a doctor's note. Yeah. You need a doctor's note. Um, I want it wanted like i wanted to go to a podiatrist but you need a you need a referral to do that so because i've never been to a podiatrist before so i was like that is a foot that's that's the foot yeah i was like let's see what's going on foot wise uh-huh uh there's some allowance for a wig but you also have to have a doctor's note

to get a wig so i wanted to get a free wig but then it's gonna be like a whole thing to explain to my doctor why i want a wig oh according to this the doctor says you have a five head dr tyra banks oh but that only covers just bang, a bang, big bangs. Just a bang, Merkin. Poor Ed Merkin. So the one thing that I haven't, I've done only once, and it was probably like maybe 10 years ago or something, was I went to an optometrist.

I went to an optometrist. I'm an optometrist as well. I'm sort of like a glass half full kind of guy. Nice. Nice. Jackie glasses at all. No, I,

as far as I know, I've got great vision. The last time I went and use my benefits for an optometrist was I think like two years ago, everything was fine, but my parents both never needed glasses until really like exactly 40 both of them were like it was almost like on each of their 40th birthdays they were like they needed you know for distance or whatever so i think that's coming for me in the

next uh undisclosed amount of years i thought if the movie this is 40 is any indication i think that's when you need a hand mirror to look at your butthole. Is that a scene in that movie? I don't know. Yeah, and you know what? In Ontario, at least, that's not covered. Oh, no. Yeah, thanks, Doug Ford.

Yeah. Well, yeah, they privatized it. But I don't mind. I mean, I think I will be annoyed with having to wear glasses having gone my whole life without them. But I do like the fashion of but uh i do like the fashion of it i do like the fashion possibilities of glasses this is the thing i've also never needed glasses this is this is but i've been getting some uh and it's man it's so intimidating i'm getting some for driving at night that's the and when i was talking to the guy he was like hey you went a good you had

a good run you had a good run perfect eye wise you've done okay and he said i'm just gonna give you these for the night uh driving and i was like okay but now i've got the prescription i don't know how i'm gonna pick out glasses i have no idea there's like a bazillion different frames what type of what face do i want to commit to Dave you've had glasses how do you decide how do you zero in on a frame trial and error my man yeah like

do you have you ever gotten a pair and then got them home and been like ah shit these suck and I had to go get them redone get them sandblasted um no I've done ever since like my 30s when I actually started wearing glasses, I think I've bought every pair online. Oh, yeah. That's a good idea, too.

They're much cheaper, but then you're, like I've had a few that I bought bought that I'm like oh this is good and then I look back at old pictures and I'm like no those were not good just like the color of them because you had like red ones like Sally Jessie yeah red ones like Sally Jessie

talk about references that have diminishing returns holy cow oh but so evocative with her kind of cloud of hair octagonal look you know what i'm saying yeah i know what you're saying absolutely she wears them in the octagon yeah bring that mic over here i got some things to say but you know what gram you've got a leg up on a lot of people on your glasses hunt because you can you your vision is good enough that you can without a prescription see how the frames look on you that's true as my husband

has such poor vision that when he's like getting new frames and he's trying them on in the store he can't see how we look because he doesn't have his glasses on so he comes back with like a geordie LaForge visor and he's like, is this good? Do these look cool? Yeah, no, I have no advice. Follow your heart. Yeah, I think I'm going to get because they're only to be used for like a particular circumstance. I'm going to get some real statement ones. I'm going to like get some real like big deal.

Obvious. You're wearing glasses. Yeah, because it's like you're a night driver you could get some like 80s like something really crazy yeah yeah i want to be night driver you should also get the scorpion jacket from driver oh my god this could be the whole new no for me what's driver the drive, drive. He was doing it at night. Yeah, absolutely. That's right. That's true.

I could help people rob banks and things like that. I could be there. I mean, I'm very bad at directions, so they have to constantly, like, just tell me the name of the street I have to turn down. Tell me what lane should I get in? Should I be in the right lane to turn or what? Turn left at the Dodgers Center. Where was he going? Oh, yeah. He went in the parking lot. He went in the right lane to turn or what turn left at the dodgers center where was he going oh yeah he went in the parking lot you know i re-watched that recently um to see how it held up because i really enjoyed it the first time and i did like i did i was entertained the on the second watch

but i if i was that girl carrie mulligan and i encountered this guy yes okay he's hot but he's so quiet i'd be like oh brother you know because he's so like stoic and he's so okay yeah it's a very um uh male fantasy of just being like yes because if you brought drive guy to a party you'd be worried the whole time like oh my god he's just gonna sit in the corner the whole time he's constantly looking over at him yeah exactly like oh you know he's just sitting by the toothpick bowl eating toothpicks he's brought his hammer and you're like oh no that's bad um but this is a thing i've never had done before at the optometrist is they they put drops in my eyes to make them dilated yeah oh horrible oh man and they kind

of numb you a little bit uh no they hurt the guy said these are gonna hurt oh really yeah and then for like hours after you feel did you feel like nauseous like from the blurriness like i like you like i hated that i hated it too and i thought it was kind of like it was like a bad vision fantasy camp it was like now check out this is what people have to deal with all the time yeah you see how the other side lives yeah exactly you can't look at your phone for shit and uh I hate it. Oh, I hated it so much. It was bad.

Yeah. And I've also crossed the Rubicon where people that like health care providers, doctors, et cetera, are all younger than me. Now I'm like, I'm being checked out by like a kid, basically. Yeah. He's like, I'm'm gonna do the test i'm like get your fucking parents in here you shouldn't be doing this by yourself no and then think about what it's like being ancient like and then you have to be at the doctor all the time yeah that's right it's like someone that could be your like grandchild yeah yeah it's and

it's hard to i find it hard enough to make banter with some like a doctor or nurse older than me but forget it trying to start a convo with somebody oh yeah and you're like and even for medical stuff you're like my eyebrows aren't on fleek yeah i've got a syndrome that's kind of like that show from you you know euphoria I feel like I've got something similar there just anything to kind of connect I think all of my aches and pains are from all of my drug use you keep faking drug use

I want to fit in with this Euphoria doctor I'm not a Euphoria doctor I'm just 35 one time my doctor was like keeping me waiting a bit and she came in and she was like sorry complicated old elderly person i'm like oh no i'm gonna and she's a bit older than me but i'm gonna be i don't want to ever be the complicated older person that's making the doctor sigh oh no i'm on the very opposite of that uh coin i want to be trouble non-stop i want to be you want to be a disruptor in the office

you when you call in to make an appointment and they ask your name you want the receptionist to be like oh yeah and i don't even say my name i say you know who it is yeah and they're like i do sigh heavily here comes graham here he won't stop eating cookies during the whole appointment even though i'm trying to put a trying to look down his throat he's still eating cookies also the doctors now will give you like sometimes they'll give you a website to consult. Imagine being old. Oh, yes. Here, scan this ailment QR. Have you ever had somebody, a doctor, just quickly Google something while you're in the room? Yes, my doctor Googles things all the time.

I'm like, dude, I could do that. I could do this. Yeah. But I like that my doctor is almost as much of a hypochondriac as I am. You're like, I have this. She's like, I think I have it too. Holy shit. And so we're both Googling and she'll send me for like ultrasounds that I don't need to go to.

But I would rather that. Yeah. Not catch something. Yeah. No, I like I like an over overreaction on behalf of the doctor. If possible. Yeah. She recently was like i was just

sitting for i think a normal checkup where i thought i had maybe had had or something and she's like going like this and then she goes oh and she goes does that hurt on my neck i'm like no and she goes it doesn't i'm like no and she goes i'm feeling like it she's like i feel like you may have a nodule on your thyroid i'm like well i've had a good run i guess i'm dead because i'm freaking hypochondriac but anyway and then she sent and then she sent me for an ultrasound on this and i was like for the whole week i was like but nodules on your thyroid are kind of normal um and but and there was nothing there and it was all fine but but then she was like she was like when she called me to tell me there was she goes i think you just have like a scrawny neck that i can feel everything through

turns out you're a pencil neck yeah you absolute twerp but ultrasounds look so scary when it's not a pregnancy because without a guy in there it's so ominous looking yeah terrifying but what if there is a guy in there there's a guy in there, it's so ominous looking. It's terrifying. But what if there is a guy in there? There's a guy in your neck. I'm the neck guy. Making a peace sign. Like they are look like they're so black.

It looks like a just bad news in that. Because you're looking at the screen and you're looking at the ultrasound tech's face for like any signs of like, but they're just stone faced and they can't tell you anything. Yeah, they can't go like. Nothing. The yeah, it is ultrasound. The one that actually makes noise when they're scanning you. There's like a. Or like... I don't even remember.

Well, it would make noise, I think, if there was a heartbeat going... Oh, right. It does the... Yeah, but this one, there was no heart. Maybe my pulse. But it's like all like... It almost looks like not topography, but it's just like black it's almost looks like not topography but it's just like black and white and gray swirls

and then you can hear them making screenshots of it and you're like what are you taking a picture of what are you taking a picture of they're just doing a selfie in the office don't move this shot looks really cool yeah

well should we move on to some overheards? Sure. All right. Oh, darling, why won't you accept my love? My dear, even though you are a duke, I could never love you. You, you, you borrowed a book from me and never returned it. Save yourself from this terrible fate by listening to Reading Glasses. We'll help you get those borrowed books back and solve all your other reader problems.

Reading Glasses, every Thursday on Maximum Fun. I'm Emily Heller. And I'm Lisa Hanawalt. And we're the hosts of Baby Geniuses. We've been doing our podcast for over 10 years. When we started, it was about trying to learn something new every episode. Now it's about us trying to actively get stupider. And it's working.

Hang out with us and you'll hear us chat about... Gardening. Horses. Various problems with our butts. And all the weird stuff that makes us horny. That's so weird. All that stuff. Baby geniuses,

a show for adult idiots. Every other week on maximum fun. Overheard. Overheard's where we hear a good thing we report it and we'll judge if it's good here on the podcast and we like to start with the guest jackie do you have an overheard i do um my new neighborhood is like really close to a high school and sometimes when you're out getting coffee or something it's the high school lunch break which is a terrifying time sometimes oh man they're all over the place they're infiltrating every establishment where do you find like i find all the kids from the this school near here all hang out at starbucks oh god well yeah there's a subway close by that they they really swarm around yeah um there's so many there's so much food around here but i feel like actually that's kind of good because they kind of are diffused right at one poor poor bastard store

um but there was there was these girls and and they were all walking in a pack and as they passed me one of them said one of them wore it sounded like a warning. Sean is going to say you have a fat ass. Fucking Sean. He will too. I don't want to run into Shauna. It was Shauna. Shauna. Shauna is going to say you have a fat ass.

Hoo-wee. Don't want to run into Shauna in a dark alley. And she's going to say it in her yearbook quote at the end of the year. And Jenny is a fat ass. But it's like, well, I was just wondering, like,

how did this Shauna character become the arbiter of whose ass is fat or not? So isn't that great? Yeah. Yeah. That's true. That's fat asses on Vogue. You don't want to be known as no ass. You want to at least.

No. Yeah. So maybe it was like a good thing maybe like they couldn't wait to see shauna and show off this this big gorgeous ass i remember watching uh maury povich in my early 20s and there would be like women on there who would be like i you know you called you made fun of me in high school. Now I'm hot. Yeah. I'm getting my revenge. And,

uh, but they would be like, yeah, you always called me skinny in high school. And I was like, in my high school, people got made fun of for being fat. Yeah.

Women can't win. This is what I realized. Women couldn't win. On Maury. It wasn't when it was, uh, trying to find the, the dad celebrating that he didn't have to give

child support yeah the parade of would-be dads i know this is so bad but that one scene that's like went viral like that one where it's like you are not the father and this guy does the most outrageously great like popping and locking like dance you can't help but be entertained but it is so toxic obviously but they might like they they might have had to audition what kind of dance would you do if we were also like if you weren't the father the show you're you're in the green room with 11 other guys yeah and you're like oh you're going out first it's like oh well then there's no way i'm the dad yeah yeah it's true you wouldn't by deduction no the paternity test is the uh running order yeah well i guess that's the set list who's on first there you're headlining tonight but I'm

uh oh get your dance ready yeah what's really sad is when they have the one guy in the list who wants to

step up and be the dad and he's not the father he's not the father right that is not good he's gonna stick around regardless yeah

he's gonna he does this he does a he's got a dance ready to go if it is his kid. And otherwise he just, he gets bummed out. And then they show a close up.

They show the kid, you know, backstage and the kids popping and locking. And you're like, Oh, this is my kid. This kid's so good at that. I remember watching one of those you were a bully to me when I was a kid

and the guy came in and was like like a super giant weightlifter like to the point that it was like oh you've destroyed your own life to like prove this like you've become a monster of a giant meat man you're now your own bully and it's

that's not good and the guy was like i remember the guy he was like yeah man like i was having a hard time my my dad died when i was in high school like like the guy wanted an apology like oh i was so wrong and it just became this like sad like wait i ruined my whole life because your life was ruined and like it was so it was so sad oh but so funny you know what i mean yeah i'll be those sad tales at like 1 p.m yeah exactly our kids will never know that they won't it's sad that's sad to me jenny jones sally as we were talking about yeah jenny jones was a favorite i like ricky lake's show hers was a bit more bubbly and poppy um always loved mori yeah it was too much jerry springer made me feel like jerry springer wasn't daytime for me it was

like they would show it at 11 at night oh yeah it was kind of late yeah because there was like porn star there was like yeah there was like porn everything ended up with a fight and yeah a boob usually fell out yeah oh yes and then steve the like security guy he got his own show oh that's right spin-off where he was the guy and just that whole genre of like person holding a mic going into the audience and saying like you got something to say and it's like yeah i just learned about this thing right now but i'm convinced you're a skank all the evidence points towards skank you are a skank. You are a skank. I've been locked in my way out of this one. Wow, skank is

such a high school throwback word. You don't hear that bandied about anymore. No, but I love it. It's so exactly perfectly descriptive. Shauna's going to call you a skank. Sean is going to say your fat ass is a skank. Dave, do you have one over here? Sure.

This is from Halloween Night. Oh. Yeah, we're still on this bullshit. There was a, I saw many trick-or-treaters, but there were some like 13 year olds that were, one of them was in like a giant dragon costume that was very hard to lug around. And his friend was just in like, you know, pirate costume or something, something super easy. And the guy in the pirate costume is like where are we gonna sit down and the giant dragon kid was like you don't understand how much my back hurts and the guy the the pirate guy just repeated where are we gonna sit down as in like we're trick-or-treating. There's nowhere to sit. This isn't a mall.

I'm tired of having this conversation. If you want to sit, then sit in the dirt. You chose to wear a giant dragon costume. It couldn't have been worth it. But like, also, you know, there's gotta be a, well, you don't know. You can't just sit on someone's step. That's a high traffic zone on Halloween.

Yeah, that's true. The, um, uh, it was, I was handing out, uh,

candy at my wife's sister's house. And there was a teenager. It blew me away. Cause I, this was the type of teenager I like to hang out with. I was dressed as a biblically accurate angel so had like a thousand eyes and had like a sphere globe around her head and uh it was so cool I was like that's such a high school high school girl idea like I'm gonna go exactly how they write it in the Bible. I didn't know that they wrote.

That's what an angel. I'm very, uh, I'm not familiar with a lot of, they have a thousand eyes. Yeah. Like they're described kind of like, like the drawing of them would be like more looking like a monster than looking like what we think with the halo.

Cause that's, I think the halo she was wearing was this like several layered. Because that's, I think, the halo she was wearing was this, like, several layered. I think that was the halo. And had, like, eyes all over her face and all over the halo. Oh, so cool. Whoa. Yeah.

I like, that sounds, I really like the sound of that. Scary sci-fi Bible. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Maybe I do love the new Berenstain Bears. Do you have an O'Rourke, Graham? I do. And this is, I just like the salesmanship of this thing that I've never heard of before. It was an ad, a YouTube ad, before something I wanted to watch.

And it was a thing where you can learn 100 piano songs in less than an hour that was the the pledge okay and then uh the guy sits down and he's playing i don't know like maybe it's like all these songs are all the same yeah word or whatever but he plays a bunch of different things and then says right into the camera, he goes, you know, you can, I was like, I don't know that I can, but this guy seems to think I can. The math on that. It's like less than a song, a song,

more than a song a minute. Yeah. Yeah. I can, I can teach you that. I don't think he can. I mean, you know,

you know, you can, you know, you can. Well, he did say I can, so I'm willing to fork over some money just to see if he's right. Go borrow.

Wow. I gotta know those songs. The first hundred songs are free. And that's where they get you. Yeah, that's right. No, I can't play any songs, so I think this guy's overstating how many songs I could learn. Going from none to a hundred in a minute.

Yeah. That almost sounds dangerous. Like you'd have some kind of ox. You'd get the bends or something. Yeah, that does happen. Yeah. It's part of the process if you want to do it fine, but you know, you can, if you want to try.

Well, I said, yeah, it's part of the process if you want to do it fine but you know you can if you want to try well is it yeah I think it might be the way that like twinkle twinkle little star is also Baba Black Jeep and the alphabet song yes there's a there was a tree to be square it's also Ghostbusters or is it I want a new drug yeah i want it um do we talk about that on the podcast that the ray parker they played him that song the

huey lewis song and they were like something like this and then he just copied it sure as he was like like lazy well i think he's just like this is what they want oh and they were like yes exactly like that yeah i think what they did is they asked huey lewis and he said no no i only write for time travel movies that's that's where i draw the line that's where that's my sci-fi line in the sand he hadn't done that yet but we all knew he was gonna when he came out of the womb. It was like. Now, we also have overheard sent into us from people all over the map. If you want to send one in, send it in to SPY at MaximumFun.org. And this first one is from Matt K. in Edmonton.

Driving through Edmonton a couple of weeks ago, went past the Hardesty Pool, where they had a sign up that said free wi-fi nine dollars that's expensive that is expensive for wi-fi in general have you been to a place recently where there hasn't been where there's been pay wi-fi i feel like that feels like a thing from the past but yeah that's really dated yeah like but wait what's the hardesty pool it's a swimming pool it's gotta be a swimming pool right because it's the hardesty pool it's not hardesty pool which might be a pool hall right i guess it costs more to drive the wi-fi into the water it's the only place in town you can check your phone In the water The water is very unsafe now

Yeah You climb out of the pool looking like a biblical angel This next one comes from Jacob G From Alpenae, Michigan This is said to me by my girlfriend From Jacob G. From Alpenae, Michigan. This is said to me by my girlfriend. Upon seeing McDonald's branded Hot Wheels car that my nephew had been playing with, my girlfriend said to me, that's the car I would drive if I was a drag racer.

And I said, would you dress like Ronald McDonald? She said, no. I dress like that one guy. What's his name? The McBurglar? And I said, that's not it what is it the McThief really dancing around it you're close you're close

I do love the idea of like no like Hamburglar no Hamthief yes what's his name the mcburglar no mcfief mccon man i had a very similar experience when i was in high school i remember going through the drive through with my mom at mcdonald's and you know when you're like a teen and you're like embarrassed by everything

your parents do? Yeah. And she ordered this and that and I'll have a McFish. And I was like, it's the fillet of fish, mom. McFish. I'm going to walk home.

You're embarrassing me in front of the mcdonald's worker in front of the mcdonald's worker's voice by the way knows exactly what you mean when you say and i've never actually had a filet-o-fish but i've heard though i've heard that they are actually tasty they've had a couple weeks ago no i had one a year or two ago but i brought it up a couple weeks ago but uh yeah there it's a flavor combo that just works even with the cheese yeah because you don't often think of fish and cheese yeah oh tell me if you think this is sick or not really quick yeah i was at getting a coffee at mcdonald's at mcdonald's in a Walmart. Perfect. Perfect.

The perfect storm. And a worker was on her break in the seat in one of the booths eating out of eating shredded lettuce covered in what looked like Big Mac sauce out of one of the food storage containers that they would use in the back

in the kitchen. Like it was a fine food storage container. Like, I don't know if you've ever worked in a kitchen, but, like, or, like, you know at Subway where they're dressing, like, all the stuff that's, like, the Subway containers that all their lettuce is in. Like the metal chafing dish? Metal or clear sometimes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that.

Yeah. So she's got that right in front of her at the table. So she obviously just, like, took some lettuce, took it right out of its thing, and put some Big Mac. And then ate it. I'm like, I don't think that we should be seeing this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least take your uniform off. Like, this should be.

No, but then, because now everyone would want one. I do love that. I do like that you can i always find it weird when you see the people eating the food that they just that they make there but i get it yeah sometimes you see somebody with food from another place and you're like oh oh yeah that can't be good but it's not even the fact that she's eating the mcdonald's, but like eating it out of that food container. I feel like, and that's not like I'm best friends with McDonald's corporate,

but I feel like that's not the image. Like, you know, so I'm getting lettuce out of that container that you were like eating out of with the fork. Yeah. I know it's going to go in the washer, but like, it's just seemed not good.

At some restaurants, you do see the employee. There's some restaurants where you don't see the employees eating. No. But then sometimes you do, and you're like, I guess it must be slow and good for you. Yeah. And I love that they can make their own thing. They know what they have, and they can kind of Frankenstein their own menu.

Yeah. I guess it was a coleslaw essentially at the end of the day. Yeah. That is good. What is, I always find it weird when you see a job interview inside the restaurant. Yes, that is weird.

Yes. Yeah. And you're like, okay, well you, you like dressed up to go to this job interview and they're wearing their uniform. Yeah.

The person interviewing you is like lower status remember if they offer you a coffee say yes say yes uh this last one comes from julie from woodbridge virginia my mom was visiting from california when we drove up to her house she honked at my kids in the front yard as a way of saying hello. Afterward, they asked her if she honks at every person she sees. She said, I don't honk at everyone, but when

in Rome, time to party. The expression we all know. Honking is fun. Honking rules. I did it to somebody the other day day and it was so much fun because they were they were parked with the uh what do you call them like emergency lights flashing yeah and i just i leaned into it i did a very polite one and then he didn't move so i did like two and then i did a a bright lights uh was he not allowed to be there? No, he's blocking up the whole street.

Oh yeah. So, uh, and eventually then somebody honked behind me. I was like, it's one of those like, yeah, we all hate this.

And then, uh, he drove away. Yeah. It's the honking is so fun that like when kids are pretending to drive, it's always steer, steer, honk,

honk. It's true. They don't realize how much footwork you need to do yeah that's true they think it's all just wheel yeah pure wheel and honk

yeah that's what I call my car repair place pure wheel and honk now open on Saturdays in addition to overheards that are written in we also accept your phone calls if you want to call us our phone number is 1-844-779-7631 that's one spy pod one like these people have whenever i see a job interview at a, I'm always tempted to go over and be like, we're all rooting for you.

Yeah. Or you go by and you'd be like, I'd buy a hamburger from this person. Yeah. I really kind of want the person to get the job. Yeah. You don't know them at all, but you want, yeah. Cause you, we've all been in that position. Yeah.

And we want, not specifically. You've never worn your Laura Petit's full suit to a Wendy's interview. I've never worked in the food service industry myself. Oh, I think everyone should for at least one day. All right, phone calls. Hey, it's Megan from Orlando. I recently went to a Best Buy electronics store. And as you can imagine imagine there weren't a lot

of people around so there was just a lot of associates yelling names to one of their co-workers and by the way this isn't overheard I don't know if I said this but yeah they were yelling names and And she's like, you're never going to guess my brother's name. And finally, someone did guess it. It was Charles. And then she's like, but you're really not going to guess my sister's name. And then someone tried to come up with another name. And they were kind of making it up as they were saying it. So they were like, Wendigo? And then I left the store. So I don't know if they ever figured out her sister's name or not. But that's my story. Off I go. Is a Wendigo like some kind of monster?

Yeah, it's a cryptid. It's a mythical and indigenous mythical. Yeah, it's a cryptid. It's a mythical, an indigenous mythical. Yeah, I think cannibal maybe? And they take you under the ice or something. Oh, okay. So some sort of mythical. Your name wouldn't be Windigo. An evil spirit.

An evil spirit. Yeah, I think it's an Inuit, because I think it's an icy thing. Okay. Yeah, Windigo. Windigo, Windigo. I just love the idea that it's things are so dead at best buy that they're yelling you'll never guess it charlie okay yeah okay fine wendigo oh fine yes we need this game to last longer we're sitting around

we need to hire someone new because we need more siblings to get yeah oh well that killed 40 seconds they're hiring people in the job interview uh they're like now do you have any siblings okay don't tell me their name are their names very pedestrian because we're hiring based on did either of you guys watch that show where it was the people, the contestants on the show were related to somebody famous and people were trying to figure out. You told me about it.

Oh, I've heard of that. But yeah, I didn't watch it. Someone got very mad when they got kicked off first because they were like Tom Hanks' niece or something. Yeah, and she was so pissed that she was the first one kicked off. And she thought that it was like, and she was screaming. She threw a huge fit and was throwing things around and she was tom hanks's niece i think it was tom hanks's niece

and uh yeah if you want you can see it on youtube it's wild it is wild bad press for tom hanks who is quite you know his image is quite squeaky clean hasn't it always been that's not a good look for the hanks family well neither is neither is Chet, but you know. Oh, sorry, I forgot about Chet. How did I forget about Chet? Oh, God. Never mind. Here's your next phone call.

I literally repressed Chet. Hello, Dave, Graham, and Cass. This is Rob from Colorado. I haven't overheard from my wife. She's a dental hygienist and sometimes works in public schools. So she was cleaning a preschool this week, and when she put fluoride on his teeth, he shivered and then said to his friend I felt that down all the way down

to my penis and bottom anyway off I go that is the perfect way to describe something too like oh that went all the way down

fluoride hits different when you have a penis and bottom ah like yeah that should really yeah but just love that it's like one kind of colloquial phrase and then one like medical phrase is there a um fluoride do they just you swish it around your mouth now they don't do the trays anymore my my dentist does something that's far worse they paint on oh that's a new thing i've had that too and it's so gross it's so gross it's like it's like they're putting plaque back on your teeth. Yes. And then it doesn't fade for a while and it's gritty as hell. Ew.

Yeah. I hate it. I don't know why it's better. I liked sitting in there with the tray. That was my favorite as a kid. Ten minutes and you get all the suction between your teeth. Yeah. I've never had the tray.

I've never experienced that. It was always the swish for me. It was way. Swish, swish, that. It was always the swish for me. It was way... Swish, swish, bish. I'm a swish, bish. It was like mouth guards that were filled with goo. Right, okay. You could pick a different...

There were different flavors of goo. Sometimes I'd get the bubblegum flavor. And my dentist was weird. He was always like, well, I got to go fill the goo tray. And he would bring a porno mag with him. he was always like well i gotta go fill the goo tray and he would bring a porno mag with him that was dr feel good right that's who you used to go to he felt good no one else really did you couldn't get away with that now no that's true definitely could different landscape back then in dentistry yeah here's

your final phone call hi dave and graham this is gretchen calling in with an overseen i was just driving by a little shopping center and there's a store there that's called you break i fix and two of the windows were broken out and were boarded up with plywood. Catch you on the flip side. First of all, love ending. Classic case of the cobbler's children have no shoes. I also love that she ended off the call with catch you on the flip side. That's underused. It's such a nice gem. Yeah, it's a good call with Catch You on the Flipside. That's underused.

It's such a nice gem. Yeah, it's a good gem. Catch You on the Flipside. See, in the funny papers, that's another one. Yeah. I never understood that one. The Flipside is like a date. I can picture a calendar where you see you tomorrow.

Oh, right. Yeah. Oh, I always just thought of it like a record. Like a catchy on the flip side of the record. I thought it was like a daily calendar. That makes sense though now that I think of it. That is the most reasonable etymology. Yeah. But what's the funny papers?

Because you're a goofball. See in the funny papers or something? Yeah, why is that goodbye? I'll see you in Garfield. Yeah. Oh God, one could only hope to get booked on Garfield. Yeah, that's true. Who books Garfield?

Yeah, the best I could get was a Dagwood. I got to find a Dagwood panel. But Dagwood's wife was really hot. Huh, I guess, you know what? Yeah, I suppose she was a little bit attractive she was the i think she was the name of the the comic was blondie oh sorry that's who i'm thinking of blondie blondie was dagwood's wife yeah oh yeah that's right yeah yeah yeah and he was yeah he was like he liked sandwiches like sandwiches and naps yeah he was basically jughead he was yeah yeah except that he

had a job because i remember his wasn't his like boss called bumstead or something like that he was bumstead he was dagwood bumstead oh yeah i remember that i just remember his hair was like two little yeah yeah yeah he was like if jughead dated bet. Which I think happened on Riverdale. Yeah. Well, they tried all the different nasty combos. Those sick freaks. Those sick freaks. Well, that brings us to the end of this episode.

Jackie, thank you so much for being our guest. I love to be here. I'm always so happy to be on. Thank you so much for having me. You have the best listenership and the funniest to be on. Thank you so much for having me. You have the best listenership and the funniest Collins. And you guys are, you guys rock.

Well, the funniest Collins is, uh, Tom Hanks, his other son. Nice. Um, where can people, people can see you on,

uh, kids ruin everything on CTV. And, uh, if you haven't heard jackie and mark's podcast uh do listen to it it's fantastic so many guests that we've had on the program here uh and i was just listening to an episode yesterday also fun with no guests and sometimes there's not even a guest and then they do like there's so so many podcasts that are advice ones. And what you guys sometimes do is you take an article like from a famous,

like dear Abby or other like publications that did advice and you compare your advice to theirs. And that's always really funny. Yeah. We go in blind and see how we stacked up to the pros. Yeah. It's fun. And how like it's, you know,

there's more than like 20 episodes or something like you could really, you can really have a good fun chunk of time listening to this, this podcast. Yeah. Go ahead and binge. Come on. You never treat yourself. Treat yourself.

Exactly. And can people find you online? Do you have a website? Yeah. You can go to my Instagram is where all I'm the busiest. So at Jackie Pirico and you can go to my instagram it's where all i'm the busiest so at jackie pierico and you can listen to my album i've got two albums on spotify or any stream stores first one dream phone and my latest one splash pad splash pad yes yeah um well thank you so

much for being our guest thank you everybody out there for listening uh treat yourself to uh the advice podcast how can we help and come on back next week for another episode of stop podcasting yourself maximum fun a worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly

by you.