Stop Podcasting Yourself - Episode 831 - Natalie Norman

Episode Date: February 20, 2024

Comedian Natalie Norman joins us to talk dating apps, the lottery, and man-on-the-street interviews.

Hi, he's Dave Shumka and he's Graham Clark and together we host Stop Podcasting Yourself. Woo! Hello everybody and welcome to episode number 831 of Stop Podcasting Yourself. My name is Graham Clark and with me as always is a man who we were just discussing, just as we were going to turn on the mics, that there's something called Singles Day. Dave Shumka knows about it. His name is Dave Shumka. Hi, because this is being released on Family Day and our guest is like, why is there a family day? This is my impression of our guest.

Perfect impression, honestly. Perfect impression. I'm feeling very attacked. I'm single, she says. Why is there no singles day? And I said, there is in China. It's singles day on November 11th. We just looked it up.

Yeah. Because the numeral one resembles a bear stick. Oh, so depressing. Which is Chinese internet slang for an unmarried man who does not add branches to the family tree. Oh, gosh. But it's a big shopping day. You buy yourself presents. Yeah.

What do you... You settle old scores. Yeah. Yes. With other single people? Yeah. Yeah. you buy yourself presents yeah what do you you settle old scores yeah yes with other single people yeah yeah that voice you hear

first time guest on the podcast it's not just me it's not just Dave doing an impression over and over a very funny comedian so glad to have her

on the show you can find her on Instagram at at stalking Natalie it's Natalie Norman hi I'm here you're here thank you for being's Natalie Norman. Hi, I'm here.

You're here. Thank you for being here. Thank you for having me. I'm so excited. This is going to be a blast. Yeah, we're going to do it. And if it's not, no refunds.

Yeah, yeah. Should we get to know us? Yeah. Get to know us. Okay. Boy, I had a question on the tip of my tongue. Oh, yeah. So, I had a question on the tip of my tongue. Oh, yeah.

So, it's Singles Day. What do you buy yourself? Yeah, what do you buy yourself? Is this just for me? No, I'd also... Because I'm not single, but... I'm the single one. You are the single one, but now I'm going down memory lane.

What would I have liked? As a single man? As a single man that I don't have a use for as a married man? I know immediately I just buy a bunch of subscriptions to dating apps. Oh, nice. Okay. Because like they're too expensive otherwise, but I'd feel like, you know what? I'm still single.

I'm single today. How much are dating apps? Oh, they range. I do pay for one, which feels embarrassing to say, but it's worth it in my head. Which one? Field. Okay. What's Field? Field is a sex app.

I'm listening. Well, it originally started for couples looking for thirds. Oh, okay. And then it became kind of this progressive place where everyone's just on it who's horny and is very straightforward, which is what I like. Okay. And people have met on it and dated and gotten married and stuff. I'm horny, but I'm shy. But that's what this app is for i'm not straightforward it's just i'm just uh he ducks the issue he talks around the issue uh my wife is always like are you horny and why i

don't want to talk about it i was always wondering if there was ever going to be a straight version of grind this is it this is it this is it and i'm living my life on it yeah oh yeah what's uh what's your profile should i go i have it i'm not it's like normal pictures sure slightly sultrier okay and then you can put your desires and then i love it yeah it's and what are your desires um warm hearth to uh around a fireplace. A fireplace, fireplace, yeah. What was the question again? Your desires. All my desires, yes.

Just a nice, ooh, bit of dark chocolate. Yeah. Oh, my God. Who needs sex, right? I mean, to most women, that's the exact same thing. Yeah. So what are your... Oh, what are your different things?

You want me to tell... I have no problem. I share it all the time on stage. But I have... Mine I share it all the time on stage but I have mine are go ahead they're tame compared to most people's I think

yeah I guess oh yeah like people's are like people are into like scat oh Jesus squee ba ba ba ba exactly

exactly so that's where it can go mine is just like texting foreplay like really generic really yeah really quite tame yeah texting is one of them there's uh like i hate to kink shame but i am not into scat guys okay no one no one one, sorry, I just got upset. Now, is there, like, is somebody who's putting something like scat on this profile, they're also using a picture of them that, like, people can see and then be like. Or they draw a toilet on their face.

Honestly, I'm sure I've seen that. Like, people, it's interesting. Some people just use their regular pictures. Some, like, have their faces like my like sketched out some are like i'll give you more photos when we match and we're like okay but i didn't i didn't fool around with someone whose face was blacked out full time well yeah honestly i put a bag on his head it was like hot yeah this is this is what i liked about yeah um wow i didn't know there was such a thing i didn't know it's wild yeah i'm very glad i don't on his head and was like, hot. This is what I liked about it. Wow, I didn't know there was such a thing.

It's wild. I'm very glad I don't have to put my face on the internet. At all, really. Yeah, that's true. I love it. Oh, thank you. No, no. Wow.

Wow. Wow. I love being open and exposed to a bunch of weirdos. Oh, yeah. Then all of our listeners are on Field. Yeah. They're all crazy. Field and Stream. They read all the big magazines, the big fishing magazines.

You said that you have to pay for this one? You don't have to. But it's ad central if you don't? No. The reason I like it is because you can see who likes you. Okay. And then it's from compared to the other apps, it's reasonable. And I have jokes about fields, so I write it off.

Okay. Oh, nice. Yeah. That's smart. Oh, I like that. Yeah, I'm on Shame Shame, which tells you who likes you, but then it does the little finger thing. And then you blush? Mm-hmm.

and does the little finger thing. And then you blush? Mm-hmm. I, my nephew is, it's Valentine's Day when this is coming out, right? Yeah,

it has come out. So get those discount chocolates now. And Valentine's. Get your, all your Valentine's for next year. But he has to,

he's got like 40 kids in his daycare or whatever. He has to sign a Valentine's Day to all of them. he you know he's like a little kid he doesn't write it takes him about a minute to write his signature was that a thing well i feel like it was you were just had to give them to people you liked when no yeah everyone's included you had it was mandatory i don't think so i don't i i well i mean as far as i know as far as i remember but i think like it was just like yes everyone's getting it that way no one thinks i like them more it would be it would be social suicide for me to just give it to the people i like yeah oh i see so you

have to grease the wheels a little bit with well i think you give it to not just your crushes but your friends but you don't have to give it to the general class yeah he has to give it to the general class yeah that's crazy so that's no that's that's what we always did everyone everyone got one i mean and it wasn't the rule it's just what you did it's just polite i'm a terrible human i i mean sorry i don't want anyone who i don't like getting a valentine that's fine i agree with you on that. It's nice to be included, but that should be the teacher's responsibility. They should fill up whoever's... We got a

message. I didn't read it, but I saw that it has a list of everyone's name in the class, so I assume that's what it was for. Yeah. So you can make 20 valentines. When you were a kid, what were the... When I was a kid, it was like, Michael Jordan valentines were the uh when you were a kid what were the val like when i was a kid it was like michael jordan valentines were like the hot ticket i know i mean those would be good now

wouldn't they it would be great now yeah but i gave them all away so um i think about the same i'm probably around the same age as you yeah what's what what was you recall as being like the hot valentine like the old school trolls ah yes like the original not this bullshit troll sorry i hate the new trolls don't be sorry this is uh you know i wouldn't have been sorry i don't want to offend anyone as a kid i would have been so offended if someone was like here's an anna kendrick card um here's a card with Ron Funches on it. See, that's something that you would, I feel like you would know all these kind of references. What kind of Valentine do you remember hanging out?

Oh. Hanging out, rather. I think generic. What? Just like. Generic, like. My God. Red and pink.

Oh, really? Yeah. Now it's big that you're like, did we do it back then where you would like attach candy? No. Like give a little bag with like leftover candy canes

from December. I think my teacher had like a bowl of those cinnamon hearts. Yeah, the hearts. Like crunchy cinnamon hearts. No, those are delicious. They are. They were, but it was just, sanitation wasn't as big thing last year. cinnamon yeah the hearts like crunchy cinnamon no those are delicious they are they were

but it was just sanitation wasn't as big thing it's such a weird candy like it's the only time of year you eat them

yeah it's the only time of year you really experience I'm eating them all year really oh this is an all year yeah

do you also get like hot lips hot lips or like Mike and Ike's hot tamales hot tamales oh yeah that's a lips or like Mike and Ike's Hot tamales Hot tamales Oh yeah Oh yeah

That's a candy I like Oh okay I'm single So I need something To spice up my life Is that under your desires On your profile A hundred percent

Hot tamales Yeah I heard that I actually heard A weather report That said it was Chilly today And hot tamales

Dave's a dad you see So he That joke Is from my childhood. From another dad who taught me it. Yeah, I feel like the way that they did it with Dave's class probably seems like the more

humane way to do it. Well, because you get these Ralph Wiggum situations with the I choo-choo-choose you card. I think I remember people handing that out. Really? Like, Simpsons was very big when I think I remember people handing that out. Really? Like, Simpsons was very big when I was a child. Oh, yeah. Oh, if you got a Bart Simpson card,

on Cloud 9 forever. Exactly. And I would have liked a Ralph Wiggums one. Sure. That would have been cute. They don't... Do you remember when you were younger, they were in an envelope?

Like, you got envelopes in... Because now they just fold over. Ew. Yeah. So I have a pack. We just bought a pack the other day of Baby Yodas. And they're foldovers? We haven't opened them because it's, at the time of this recording,

it's nine days before Valentine's, and as much as my kids want to open them, we're not going to, like, have them strewn all over the house and panic on February 13th. But they seem to include a card a fold-over card maybe no envelope but yes to an additional tattoo oh okay now we're cooking now you don't have to give candy yeah we never have and uh and we probably won't because who's keeping track tattoos aretoos are cool.

Scratch and sniff is cool. I was at Shoppers, and they had scratch and sniff valentines. I really tried to get my nose in there and see if you could sniff anything. What were you scratching to sniff? Nothing. It was still a closed package. I was just hoping I would get... Oh, okay.

But was it fruit on the... Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Fruit, and then I think like... It was scat. I was going to say someone's butt. Yeah, it was fruit on the... Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fruit, and then I think, like... It was scat. I was going to say someone's butt. Yeah, it was fruit in somebody's butt.

You've been out this way... Have you been out in Vancouver before? I love this transition. And it's smooth. Whatever transition it was. I like... Yeah, I was in Vancouver... When was I here?

In 2017. Oh, that was a good 2017. I did your show. You weren't there. Oh, at the old Havana. Yeah, yeah. They don't do shows there anymore. It was a great little venue. It was.

And a great vintage store down the street. Yes. Do you know what I'm talking about? I do. Vintage? Yeah. No, the Sister's Closet. Is that what you're thinking?

I don't know what it was, but it was huge. I love vintage. It was just like I walked in and I was like, whoa. Yeah. And for the listeners, you can't see, but she's wearing a Gallagher t-shirt and it's like, looks like it's official merch. It is. It's like, I don't think it's official, but I can tell it's old because it's got, it's

got single stitch. Yes. Single stitch. Everything about this girl is single. Wow. You want me to commit suicide right after, right? I'll just roll down the hill. I walked up and I'll just roll down.

Now, have you ever seen anything of Gallagher's work? I've seen his jokes. I've seen his like, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I know comedy. You know what? It's like I was having a conversation with a younger comic and I was like. Oh, by the way, if your answer was no, that would be fine as well.

Yeah. I don't think it is. I don't think it is. No, but it's all, it's like, Oh, you're not a true comedian.

You don't know the work of Gallagher. But, uh, I was talking to a young comedian and I was talking about like, Oh, you know, like, uh,

comics from a long time ago in their time. And she was like, like Mike Berbiglia. I was like, yeah, that know, like comics from a long time ago in their time. And she was like, like Mike Birbiglia? I was like, yeah, that's the old reference that you have. Excellent, excellent. I'm not shaming them, but it's just like for me, like when I started comedy, I wanted to know, well, I got into it because of who was big. Yeah.

And like the past, and like I'm a big Joan Rivers fan. Oh, I got to meet her once. What? What was it like? It was, she was so cool. She made me show up for a dress rehearsal. You opened for her?

Yeah, I opened for her at the casino. Yeah. And she had a band that played her on and off. And, so they had to be there.

They were all in tuxedos. And she, like, went through, okay, I'm going to bring you up and then you, you come off

and then I'll introduce myself. And, uh, she had a bit to do with mirrors. So there were mirrors that on stage and she like, she's very,

she was very like an old lady, but as soon as she hit the stage, boom, don't reverse. Um, did she make you wear a suit? Uh, I did wear a suit.

Yeah. Uh, and like, uh, how old were you? I haven't seen you a suit? I did wear a suit. Yeah. And he said, like. How old were you? I was. Because I haven't seen you in a suit in a while. It was a long time ago. It was probably in like 20, maybe 10, 12.

Okay. Something like that. What was she wearing? She was wearing a bright pink, like not sequin, but kind of like shiny, kind of rhinestone-y jacket and then black shirt and black pants. Love.

She, and she was so nice backstage. She was like, just the kindest. It was just like meeting like a sweet. Someone's grandmother. Yeah.

Just a sweet older lady. And then as soon as she went on stage, it was just sea worth it. Just the saltiest goddamn language I love it I love it yeah that's what I want

yeah I have a she had like well no one's gonna stop you from saying the C word no I'm I mean here I will okay

are you? huh if you say it it's fine let's debate let's have a little I never say it let's offline about this

interesting you've chummed the waters now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's the C word, chum. Chump. Chump or jump? Jump? This is where my mind is.

I mean, as far as spelling goes, jump is not a C word. I'm telling you, it's been a long week. Okay, okay. You're my friend. Tell us about it. You're my friend. I've been everywhere in Alberta that I never thought I'd be. Yeah, what did you, like this was a bit of a milk run.

You did. Oh, I did the Bible Belt is what I've been told. How many different shows in Alberta? We were there for seven or eight days and we did six. And I drove everywhere because the other community doesn't drive. Okay. So a lot of driving. We went, I started Lethbridge, Medicine Hat, Brooks, Sylvan Lake, Canmore, then Calgary.

So these are one-nighters in bars or these little art spaces? We did everything. Oh, yeah? Who, like, did you book it all? Yeah, I book it. Hell yeah. I book it. Yeah, that's the way I just always have done that with comedy. I book myself. Okay. I wish I had a yeah. I book it. Yeah, that's the way I just always have done that with comedy.

I book myself. Okay. I wish I had a manager. I'm tired. Yeah, that's true. Well, you know, if you can just put a fake name on your website and then you just. Is that what you do? I know comics.

They were like, oh boy. When I went to Just For Life for the first time, all these comics had created a fake manager because none of them were managed. So everybody's. And it wasn't a real guy, but it made it look like. More professional. Yeah. All these comics have the same comedy manager. The same. Were they good at comedy?

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just for laughs. Yeah. There's no, you know, management really here. There's none. Yeah.

Sorry. I yell at you. There's none. Screw you. There's none. But i yell at you there's none screw you there's none but so how did you book like how did you know where to book in these i think because i've just been producing so much on my own i just look up the city and i breweries are great yeah breweries always have events so i'll just if the city has a brewery i'd contact the brewery. But some cities, I also looked for, this is so weird, if they have kombucha bars.

Okay. And how many small town Alberta cities have them? Honestly, one or two. And that's more than I ever thought. Yeah, wow. I think I came across that and then I was like, okay, I'll look up other. Do we have one here? A kombucha bar?

Or kombucha brewery, kind of. Okay. I don't know. We might. For sure, it's Vancouver. Yeah. I know, but I've never heard of such a place. Let's go after this.

I mean. Let's start one. Where? Go and buy a mother over at the kombucha place. Oh, sure, yeah. I want to start one, the three of us. Yeah? Yeah.

What do you want to call it? Do you like kombucha? I do like it. Do you not like it? I don't like it. What about it? The vinegariness of it all. The taste.

Okay. But now this is your chance to make one that tastes good. Sure, yeah. I'll be the guy. Well, I got into the kombucha business because I hated it. But like. There's always, my wife always has a can of it and I take a sip and I go, ooh. Why do we keep trying?

Maybe this time. no uh how like how do you how do you get the crowd out in these because you're not do you have like a contact there that like puts the word out or so it depends on the place like so the breweries usually they bring out like it's depending on your deal but you work with them and they want people in so people will come in on an off night, like a Tuesday or Wednesday. Right. It's not an off night for me, baby. I drink every night of the week. Mazel tov.

Yeah, yeah. Congratulations. But like they want, people will come out to a bar as long as there's an event. Right. Or a brewery. So that's, and it's like a special night. So that's why it works on an off night. So you don't really have to work so hard on promo. Okay. right brewery so that's and it's like a special night so that's why it works on an off night so

you don't really have to work so hard on promo okay but then when we did medicine hat we were on a very bad off night we did sunday oh shit and um we did their historical site like uh so it's like like it's this amazing um historical it's unesco site actually really yeah it's UNESCO like heritage site because medicine used to be known for clay oh yeah clay Aiken's from there

yeah he is he's still with us right I was gonna say gutter I think he's still with us rest in peace yeah whenever he

dies we want him to rest in peace we are pre-taping a few weeks early so but I think don't he seems to be in peace. We are pre-taping a few weeks early, so. Don't curse. But I think Mark's body seems to be in good health. And then, like.

So, I just reach out to, like, the events, if they have a good events manager. And what was it? They just really wanted to try comedy there because apparently there is a tiny comedy club in Medicine Hat. There is? Yes. Okay. What the hell? What's going on in medicine weird it's a it's a

very tiny but she's the person's very hard to get a hold of excellent as it is as it is in medicine hat the hustle bustle three calls they get a month no the the event and medalta they're like we've been reaching out to the place for two years. Oh, really? And no one has gotten back to us, and we want to do comedy, because they also do folk music there. Oh, okay. So, they're like, let's try it. So, we tried it, and I do my own Facebook promo. Right. And not a lot of people

came out, but we had a good time. It's a Sunday night in the Bible belt. People were up early at church, you know, maybe they stopped at McDonald's on the way home. We got some perverts there. We got some perverts. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Sundays.

Have you been to... You're from Calgary. Yeah. How familiar are you with these places? I've played Medicine Hat. I've played Canmore. I haven't played... Where was it?

Lethbridge, I've never played. What about not as playing, but just like, have you been to Medicine Hat? Yes. As a tourist? As a... No, not as playing, but just like, have you been to Medicine Hat? Yes. As a tourist? No, not as a tourist. Professional obligation only. I've been to Cammore as a tourist. And Lethbridge I've been because my brothers both went to university in Lethbridge.

So I've seen that part of town. Nice university. And then what was it? Brooks was one of them? Brooks. There's no way you went for. You don't go to Brooks for anything. You go through Brooks though. Yes. Yeah. To like Drumheller. and then what is it? Brooks was one of them? Brooks. There's no way you went for, there's not, you don't go to Brooks for anything.

You go through Brooks though. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. To like Drumheller. Yeah. Drumheller. Yeah.

Do you think about putting it on there? Yeah. Oh, we asked. Yeah. And I think they didn't get back to us, but.

For anyone not from Canada, Drumheller is the most famous dinosaur site in the country. Yeah. And it's, the whole town is dinosaurs. But isn't it in the world?

Probably in the world, yeah. They found the biggest fossils there in the world, and they all got shipped to England. And they're like the natural, whatever their big museum is. I'm going to fuck up on the name. The Natural History Museum. Yeah, I think that's it. I think that's it. I think that's it.

Yeah, the Royal Natural History Museum. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe it had some cool name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it doesn't think that's it. I think that's it. Yeah, the Royal Natural History Museum. Yeah. I don't know. Maybe it had some cool name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it doesn't. There's no way. That's so cool that you just booked all your own.

Because I looked at your tour kind of poster, and there's like a lot of places that you went. Yeah, in a week. Yeah. Yeah, because, well, you got to go in and out. You know, I just see like all these. That's my desire on field. Field in and out you know I just see like all these that's my desire on field field in and out

yeah I mean it's my desire too don't worry and I'm not getting it right now well you shouldn't be this is this isn't that kind of podcast

a live sex podcast maybe we should make a live sex podcast I would love that for you too yeah yeah I think the fans

would really like it they're gonna do it a big way. Squishing noises. Farting noises. Oh, sure. If you're doing it right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you're James Joyce.

Have you met anybody on this app? Oh, of course. Yeah? Oh, yeah. Like you've gone and done a date? Yeah, the guy whose face she couldn't see. Oh, yeah, that's right. But like, is this a thing where you go on a date or yeah the guy whose face she couldn't see oh yeah that's right but like is this a thing

where you go on a date or is this like just like i'm at this address and i'll see you here depends on the night okay all right i have uh i would say uh 50 is either way okay so like there's one guy i we met up and like we went on like a more formal date and now we still talk, but like he's insane and cried on my tits that night. So was that listed in his desire? Sure. Yeah. That was his desire.

Was crying? Yeah. Crying on my tits. Was that advertised? Yeah. I was like, I offer this, please cry on my tits.

It makes me feel. Cry on your own tits, man. Good. Uh, what happened? good what happened was he sad was he overjoyed I feel like I don't think

he's going to listen but I think oh he does he's a big fan yeah all our listeners are big tits lovers

well he we were on the date and his ex-girlfriend sent him a huge message oh jesus and he read it and i saw his face there she's like change immediately and i was like jesus christ what what is my luck yeah yeah i was like could she have not waited till tomorrow morning or him not looked at a text while he has company over hello it was a very strange night because also

his best i wasn't having a threesome i'm just gonna say that but his best friend like was also there at one point just stopping by just hey brad this was in new york and he had to give the keys to his friend who was staying at his place and we're like doing a changeover with the keys and that's when it happened so i feel like that it feels like that kind of thing happens a lot. Whenever I was on was the Tinder. Yeah, it was a lot of that. Like, oh, yeah, there's just another person there or you're showing up to get a coffee. It happened to me before this.

I could see it from the woman's side, like bring along a safety because you don't know who this creep is or whatever. And I've all my profile is so creepy. It was me sneaking around in bushes. Got a lot of matches with that, eh? Yeah. Yeah, I did all right.

Yeah. People would look at your picture and be like, wait, he's peering into my window. This is taking seconds. Yeah. But it's evolved now.

Tinder was the old, it's the old world. Nobody does Tinder anymore. Because I remember back before, like, old, it's the old world. Nobody does Tinder anymore. Because I remember back before smartphones, it was like Match.com or whatever. J-Swipe. No, J-Date. J-Swipe. J-Date.

Craigslist had a whole... Plenty of fish. OkCupid. OkCupid. Plenty of fish was the free one, I think. Tinder was free too. But this was... This was pre-Tinder. Yeah. But then when phones came along, I just assumed everyone was free too but this was this was pre-Tinder yeah but like but then when phones came along

I just assumed everyone was free they are all free but but you get premium but you get features yeah like Hinge

like Hinge you get to give out roses okay I don't know why you like but you get a rose that's somebody saying like

just without saying hi just like yeah it's like I really like you. Here's this digital rose. My ladies. Yeah, the only one I'm supposed to do is this digital rose. And the digital, anytime I get one, I'm also on all, I'm on all of them.

I mean, I've been banned and I snuck myself back on. Now, wait a minute. How do you get banned? Yeah, how do you get banned from a rose? This is, I can't believe I'm, I had gone on a date with a guy and he told me that all the girls on hinge are looking to get married. Oh, okay. And I was like,

there's no way that's true. And I wanted to prove him wrong. Right. So in my head, I was like, Oh, I'll create a fake profile and pretend to be a man and just swipe. You know,

a very normal thing. Yeah. Which is when I was on Tinder, I was like, how many of these people are actually real people? But yes. So you created it. What was the man's name? Oh, the man's name was for Tinder, I was like, how many of these people are actually real people? But yes, so you created it. What was the man's name? Oh, the man's name was for sure like Tim.

Tim, okay. And then I used stock photos. Like very bad stock. Of Mike Birbiglia. Yeah, of course. Of old timey comedian Mike Birbiglia. So like a guy sitting at a computer or... Like behind a waterfall.

Yeah, you know. My name is Tim Getty Images. But on top of it like I didn't have enough of the stock images because you have to put six. So I put So here's the sunset.

No even crazier I was like I'll put things that like I think men always put on their profiles so like one was literally a waterfall. Okay.

Yeah. One was like a Simpsons picture. Nice. And then I think like mushrooms. Oh okay. Yeah. And I got a lot of matches yeah it was really depressing tim did all right tim was killing it but all those women just wanted to get married exactly yeah exactly so i said no was that the point of the of tim was to find out if women wanted to get married i just wanted to see what like what it was like for men on there. I was curious because I was like, that's not my experience.

Yeah. And it was interesting. What height did you make Tim? Oh, 5'11". Oh, okay. You gotta be honest. Yeah. Sure.

Yeah. He's not huge, but it's a respectable height. Yeah. 5'11". I'm 5'4", myself. Oh, no respect for that height. Yeah, well, you know, it's tough.

It's a tall man's world. It feels like there's a lot more tall men than there used to be. No, there's a lot of men lying about their height. But even when I walked down the street, I remember there being like two tall guys in all of my school life. There was Lance and Corey. They were the two tall guys. Is that their real names? Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah. And they were both super popular, probably because they were tall. Yeah. But now I just see like, I see a tall guy like that every day. For me, it's like neck tattoos. I used to never see them.

Now I see them all the time. Yeah. You used to see one a year. I actually feel like I see short guys more. What's that? I see like... You see more short guys? Yeah.

Huh. And more guys on the apps that are honest about their height. Hey, I'm a short king, they say. No, I don't date men over six feet. Oh, really? They scare me. Okay. What the hell's happening up there?

Mine has the weather for one thing. Exactly. What's happening up there? So, you don't like that they're towering over you. I'm only 5'4". You're 5'4"? I look like I'm much taller for some reason. That's what people tell me. It's the bun on the top of your head. It's the bun, but. Yeah.. I'm only 5'4". You're 5'4"? I look like I'm much taller for some reason. That's what people tell me.

It's the bun on the top of your head. It's the bun, but... Yeah. Yeah, I'm 5'4". You do look much taller. I would have thought 6'8". Thank you. Thank you.

That's what I want people to think when they see me. But 5'4", then you're like, yeah, you're going to find a lot of taller guys in that, so you don't want

somebody over 6'0", because that's too crazy. I dated someone that was 6'4", and I used to used to have to like step on a ledge to kiss him. That's insane. But would you do it? Would you put one foot up? No, I'm not that cute. I'd just be like, you're really tall.

I'm just picturing somebody using one of those like door wedges and just sliding them under their feet. Just get that. We have a lot of tall cupboards here. So we have like step stools around. Yeah. And also kids need to like reach a sink. Yeah. And like at the grocery store, if there was a tall guy in an aisle and I wanted something off the top shelf, I would no shame in asking that guy.

I all the time in a grocery store. I wait for it. And I'm five,11 and a half. But sometimes you'll see a person reaching and you'll think, well, I'm not going to do it for them. They have to ask. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I'm not afraid. I reach for myself.

I'm a strong 5'4 woman. I can do it. Yeah, you can do it. I can climb. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. Do you hail from a family of short people? My mom's very short. you can do it I can climb yeah that's right yeah um is your do you hail from a family

of short people my mom's very short she's how tall is she she's probably about your height maybe even shorter that's rude yeah she's very short

she's like 5'5 if you can imagine my mom's 4'11 really yeah and my dad is 6'4 how do they what ledges do they

I don't know and I don't want to think about it yeah fair enough all i know is i'm the youngest of five and that's enough that's five yeah uh all sisters brothers three sisters one brother and everyone's crazy yeah i'm the normal one and i'm not normal yeah you're a stand-up comedian yeah exactly so that you're the most normal in the crew. A hundred percent. Who's the weirdest. Oh, I wouldn't say it's like,

it's most insane. Not like weird. Cause weird implies that they're like fun, like quirky. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. They're insane. And it's hard to tell. They're just, it's just a mishmash. There's three sisters, the three sisters, um,

my three sisters. It's, it's a toss up on each day. Who's, who's going to say something crazy? And is it usually? Who is it? Beth?

It's Beth. It's my sister Beth. You know I have a sister named Beth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's my sister Beth. Oh, Beth. That's trouble. And I have this older sister who like really likes to message my friends about the industry.

So what? She has a son who's like 14. Okay. And she's trying to get him in. Keep in a son who's like 14. Okay. And she's trying to get him in. Keep in mind, I don't act. Okay.

And no one I know has the capability of hiring anyone to act. Yeah. And she'll message my friends being like, can you get my son in a movie?

And I'll be like, Jesus, this is insane. I'd be like, totally. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me about $800 and I'll make sure

he gets in the right auditions. Cash, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give me about $800 and I'll make sure he gets in the right auditions. Cash, please. Yeah, so is this kid, is he going to be big or whatever? No, he hates acting. He literally, like he had the smallest role in that Adam Sandler movie. Which one? My Bar Mitzvah, whatever it was. Yeah.

In Toronto, they filmed it in Toronto. So they had like, for some reason, the whole Jewish community in it. Sure. And he was cast as like one of the kids. And she made the biggest deal being like, he's an actor now. And he's barely in the movie. And he hates it. He hates it.

Oh, that's so funny. He's like 16. I don't know. Like, I would have thought it was super cool. Yeah. But. The old timey comedian, Adam Sandler. Being an old timey comedian.

Yeah. Like Adam Sandler. When I was in elementary school, one of the kids at the school had like a speaking role in. I don't remember. Some Western thing. And they made us. They recorded it. They made everybody go to the gym and have an assembly and watch it.

Oh, they made everyone at their high school watch it really yeah there was like a day and i had to like my parents were like you better come you better support and i was like why i can watch this on netflix yeah adam sandler is a huge deal with netflix and i was on top of it i was like no one ever comes to my things like i'm actually in this industry kind of yeah what the hell your family hasn't come and checked it out i was at just for like I'm actually in this industry kinda yeah what the hell your family hasn't come

and checked it out I was at Just for Laughs and my parents were in Montreal and didn't even come no they asked me like like five minutes

before they're like should we come and I was like no you're not invited at this point we had friends cancel so should we show up

here we were gonna go to the jazz fest they were going on a to the Jazz Fest. They were going on a cruise. Oh, fun. Did cruises leave for Montreal? Yeah.

It's like a small port. Yeah, I guess so. That makes sense. Yeah. Fun place to jump off for a day, walk around. Oh, yeah. See Victor.

Hot, hot Victor. Hot, hot Victor. You can see Bonhomme Carnival in the summer? yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah funny but like i've done shows in front of my parents and family and it's massively uncomfortable but you don't do sex material though uh only when they're in the audience okay okay that's why this is who you raised yeah that's what graham calls jizz by the way hot sex material hot yeah it's hot it's hot i totally get away with it um

but uh i'd like to share some of my sex material with you he pulls out a small vial Yeah, it's hot. It's hot. I totally get away with it. But I'd like to share some of my sex material with you. He pulls out a small vial. And then you pour it on the crowd. Yeah. Yeah. First for three rows. He's the Gigi Allen of comedy. I think of myself as the Gallagher of comedy.

You hit the vial with a mallet. Honestly, that would kill. It would kill it would kill it'd go viral I think if Gallagher was a young comic today putting stuff on

Instagram every day he'd be huge he would like a smashing watermelon everybody would be going crazy but someone would say

he would be big on Instagram or TikTok and then comedians would be like he doesn't do real stand up oh yeah somebody told me that there was a more handsome version of him Instagram or TikTok, and then comedians will be like, he doesn't do real stand-up. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Somebody told me that there was a more handsome version of him would get really popular. Yeah, smashing organic watermelons or something. I heard there was a fisticuffs in a green room or backstage at a comedy club between a standup and a social media. And where? In Toronto.

Oh yeah. That story's wild. I can't share that. No, no. I don't know the full story. So when we're stories, yeah,

it's, it's people, people are insane. That's as you know, comedians are really usually have good mental health. Absolutely. The most sparkling. Yeah.

And good confidence. So who knows what happened there? Yeah. Right. Absolutely. The most sparkling. Yeah. And good confidence. So who knows what happened there? Yeah. Right. Yeah. I will need details about this. Yeah. Not at this current moment.

We'll reach out to the parties involved to get them on the show. Yeah. You got to interview both. Get both sides. I think one of them is probably coming through Vancouver soon. Is it the Instagram comedian? Yeah. All right.

All right. Cool. Yeah. Who's, by the way, the loveliest human alive. Oh, really? Like a goddamn angel. So he got in a fight with a stand-up comedian? Well, he's a stand-up comedian.

He tours everywhere and he sells out. Oh. So like, it's just, people are jealous when someone has a big following and they don't think they deserve it. Yes. I don't know what this is. That has never been our problem. We deserve everyone we got. The,

uh, yeah, I, uh, it seems to be like a general standup comedy thing. Yeah. We're all, everyone's mad.

Yeah. There's a, it was a movie called Mr. Saturday night and, uh, with Billy Crystal. Okay. And he plays an old standup comedian.

And he said that, uh, the goal for him was going being able to walk into the Friars Club

or backstage and have everybody going him I'm better than him I mean that's actually now my goal

yeah how does somebody say I'm better than her yeah I don't want people to like other comedians like me what have I done wrong in this life that's true yeah you don't want the to like, other comedians like me? What have I done wrong in this life?

That's true. Yeah, you don't want the comedians laughing too hard at your jokes and the audience less so. Yeah, yeah,

yeah. Oh, but even on shows like that. Yeah, he's a real comedian's comedian. I want to be the opposite of that. I want to be. Beloved by fans.

Yeah. I want to be hated by comedians. Um, yeah, uh, well, I'm, I'm sorry audience, you're not going to get, yeah, no, we're going to get all the saucy details. hated by comedians um yeah uh well I'm I'm sorry audience you're not gonna get

yeah I know we're gonna get all the saucy details yeah sorry sorry guys we should have shown up live that's why we have live tickets just follow me online

and I'll just yeah just follow Natalie I'll DM you with the details yeah everybody just write to Natalie she's super cool she'll write to the details and I'll send a nude yeah oh cool just like a Natalie. She's super cool. She'll write the details. And I'll send a nude.

Yeah. Oh, cool. Just like a free package. That's just like a fun, kind of like a Valentine. We did have, it was Emily Heller was on a couple times

and she was talking about her neighbor, but she wouldn't name her neighbor. Her neighbor was kind of famous but was a nightmare. And she was like, yeah, just message me.

And we had to tell people to stop messaging her. Yeah. Because everybody wanted to know who it was. I mean, I don't message me, and we had to tell people to stop messaging her. Yeah, because everybody wanted to know who it was. I mean, I don't even think, I don't know,

maybe they know, I don't know. This is the first I've heard of this story. I only heard this like a day ago, so this is a... I think we could be thinking of different stories, too.

Okay, well, we'll... The more we talk about it, the more frustrating it is for those... Sorry, I'm sorry, guys.

We'll talk about it on the more frustrating it is for those. Sorry. I'm sorry, guys. We'll talk about it on the Patreon. Sign up. Dave, what's going on with you, man? Oh, a couple of things going on with me. Okay. Nothing big, but do you guys ever play the lottery? Like a scratchy? Scratchy or a lottery ticket.

I have Christmas because you always get like scratch card right somewhere that or like on your birthday i don't know lottery numbers no are you do you participate in the lotto yeah when i'm feeling lucky yeah which is never you have lucky numbers no okay i so i will buy a lottery ticket every once every three years. Okay. And when I do, I'll get that little charge. I'll be like, like,

Oh wow. Yeah, man, I think everything's going to be a lot easier. Yeah. Like, uh, no,

no, uh, I'll just, I'll just have that cushion of, you know, millions of dollars in cases. And, uh,

then I don't win the lottery. Yeah. And then, but the other day, we let your imagine run wild a little bit though. Right. What do you, what do you imagine? Well yeah and then but the other day we let your imagine run wild a little bit though right what do you what do you imagine well okay so the other day i was um uh walking with my daughters and there was a ferrari in the street and i said that's a

ferrari it's and we were laughing about how it was just like in a traffic jam and it's like just loud and can't go anywhere and uh one of my daughters said what would you do if you won 20 if you had 20 million dollars and i was like huh uh well i guess i i i would probably you know uh put put most of it aside for you yeah exactly and let live off the interest or something like that yeah and then uh but like i don't, you know, go take some trips. What would be the most asinine thing you would pay for? This also extends to you.

What would be the dumbest? Well, first of all, I'm not saving money for nobody. Okay. Okay. So this is all going to single. Yeah, single. So this is my privilege. I buy myself a single stay present.

And Natalie, what are you buying? What are you buying for yourself? You've got $20 million million dollars actually probably a property like a house yeah like a house like a mansion no i don't like mansions nobody needs that much haunted oh no i'd cry in the house would you would you just sit in the house by my house exactly which happens to be the basement really yeah those houses are like a cow hot um would you have a place like by the beach i think probably in Toronto. Oh, okay. Sure. Toronto, but like really sensible places. One Toronto, 20 million.

I can't buy me. I was totally doing that thing where I was like 20 million. Do I buy a place in another city or is it just like my Airbnb? I can just Airbnb whatever I want all the time. You're already coming up with a plan. Yeah. Yeah. So did you decide on one?

Well, uh, no. Cause I was like, I i would you know we'd take more trips and i would pay off graham finally pay me off but the dumb thing was like you know when you buy a lottery ticket you're walking on air for the day i here's how stupid i am just my daughter's bringing that up i was like huh this is great now i've got that 20 million dollars i'm like i've got this cushion of money in case anything goes wrong it's less than a lottery ticket it's just a topic of conversation yeah and like 20 million i was like reading a thing that chip wilson uh founder of lululemon of course his place in vancouver is

worth 74 million dollars what the hell is that i don't know it must have some kind of like founder of Lululemon. Of course. His place in Vancouver is worth $74 million. What the hell is that? I don't know. It must have some kind of like subterranean something because it just looks like a mansion. Like it looks like a normal mansion. It's right on the beach.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers played his birthday one. Is that right? Yeah. Or do they live there for $75 million? They crash whenever they're in town. No, I was thinking like

if they had for $75 million they own the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Yeah. It comes with a house. Yeah. What else are you spending that much money on? Yeah.

I guess if I had that money I would buy I would do that. That seems like a cool idea. You'd buy the Red Hot Chili Peppers? Yeah. That's the band you would buy. Oh, now

what band would I buy? They're up there. Maybe Blink 182? I feel like they'd be a fun band to own. I think that would be so impossible. How so? I think you would have to move Kourtney Kardashian in.

Oh, sure. What band would you own? I would own the band of my ex. Right away. I knew that right away. Your ex was in a band? Well, it's more complicated than that, but yes, sure. Sure, okay.

Just someone I like to fool around with. All right. I'm saying Omar. Brian Adams. Hot. Hot. Jean Jacket? Come on.

Old Brian Adams? Yeah, he was really hot. Yeah. I don't know Jean jacket? Come on. Old Brian Adams? Yeah, he was really hot. Yeah. I don't know what he looks like currently, but I imagine still good. Yeah, he still looks good. Mm-hmm. Yeah. He's vegetarian.

Maybe vegan. And he lives in Switzerland? I think. With Shania Twain? England. Oh, yeah. Shania Twain lives in Switzerland. Yeah.

Yeah. And he's a photographer now. Yes. Is he good? Oh, the best photos you've ever seen. The way you said that honestly felt like you were gonna come and it was weird it's my sex material um anyway so yeah i was uh i felt very stupid later because i was like why do i have this nice warm feeling of like

that i've won the lottery because my kids planted this idea in my head because we saw a Ferrari. That was the big thing. I wouldn't buy a Ferrari. Do you remember the movie It Could Happen to You? Nicolas Cage and Bridget Fonda? Yes. Bridget Fonda is a waitress in a

diner. One day, Nicolas Cage, he's a cop. He doesn't have enough to leave her a tip, but he says, I've got this lottery ticket. If I win, I'll split it with you 50-50. And he wins. That's bold. It's bold, right? I mean, I just assume I wouldn't win and I'd be like, doing that all

over town. You're just going place to place. When I win! Did you, like, because tipping is a big hot button issue now were you did anyone ever explain to you tipping like how you what you're supposed to tip not really i remember why is it a hot button issue oh just because there's more like people don't want you to tip no no there's more tipping on you're like now at places where you never had

to tip before suddenly the screen comes up with how much do you want to tip the the cashier at the liquor store at the liquor store wait yeah actually yeah nothing yeah nothing in fact give me a little bit or the like the person who scooped your ice cream and it's like okay um just give me the bin i'll eat it directly yeah exactly but it's uh and then like does it you know growing up i always heard 15 now these things start at 18 and yeah and i can't do the math on 18 so that i feel like 18 when i see it on a when it starts at 18 i'm like this is egregious it is egregious i was like what if you're bad sometimes i get bad and it's like i don't want to punish anyone but like sometimes people are mean yeah well if you're bad? Sometimes I get bad and it's like, I don't want to punish anyone, but like sometimes people are mean.

Yeah. Well, if they're mean, I give like 40%. It gives you, that's what you wanted. Yeah. Well,

I'm like, okay, they know better than I do. But like, I've tipped, you know, at a coffee shop when I've been like, I would like that croissant please.

And they just put it in a bag and give it to me. I'm like, I guess that's 18% worth. I didn't throw it on the floor or anything. But it's, yeah, it's, when I was growing up, my dad was like, okay, you do 15%. But on the,

like, subtotal, before the tax. Before tax. Always. But if they give you the machine, it's not doing it that way. Yeah, it's on tax. Yeah. Yeah. I know got, it's on tax. Yeah. Yeah.

I know. I've been over tipping. I think we all have. Yeah. It's, it's fine. You do it. Uh,

and then the other one he said was like, oh yeah. And if the person owns the business, you don't tip them. So like, I've never heard that one. Yeah. If it's the,

if it's like someone working in the barbershop who isn't the owner of the barbershop you tip them, but the owner of the barbershop doesn't get tips. Oh. Because I guess they're the ones controlling the payroll. The flow of income. Yeah. The means of production. Do you ever work a server job or anything? I worked at the Gap. That's free.

That's not the server job. No, but that's front-facing retail. But if you worked at the Gap now you'd be getting tips. Would I? No. Is that a thing? I was like, I'm going back. Have you ever been tipped on a show?

Like by an audience of one? By a drunk guy? Well, yeah, a drunk guy in Alberta, for sure, just like slipped $100. And he did it like that. He put it in my pocket. I was like, this feels so nice. And then you're like, ooh. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You? You? Yeah. Yeah? On this run? And then you're like, you, you. Yeah. Yeah. On this run, not on this run, but I was, I was tipped in Toronto at a bar and like, they,

I don't even think they were that drunk. Like, I think they were just two gay men who really liked my energy. Yeah, sure. And they gave me a 20 and I was like, well, this show wasn't paying this much.

I just told my buddy. Yeah. Um, wow. Uh, yeah. Yeah. gave me a 20 and I was like, well, this show wasn't paying this much. I just stole my money. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah. It's a thing. What percent do you tip a comedian? Whatever you tip us.

If you tip us anything, that's good. Yeah. Give me anything. There's an episode. Remember Third Rock from the Sun? Of course I remember Third Rock. They had an episode where John lithgow like put all this money on the table and he's like this will be your tip but i'm gonna deduct it every time you do

something i don't like so he whittles down the tip instead i've heard i've heard of that really yeah just some assholes some jerks but they start with like they start at 15 and then they go down that sucks um the uh so, so that is the one, the, uh, one thing going on with me is I thought I had $20 million for a day. Congratulations. Uh,

the other thing is I, so, uh, I like to cook and, um, one thing I like to make in the winter is cocoa. What is that? It's a,

it's a, thank you for asking. it's a rooster and wine rooster and wine well that's the translation but it's um it's chicken and it's basically kind of like a chicken stew with onions and mushrooms and wine okay um and uh but i've always kind of made it in one pot. And then my dad makes it too. And we have, a few years ago, my sister put a bunch of family recipes in a book. You're kind of like a really wholesome family, eh? This is the crazy sister.

It's freaking me out how normal that is. And nice. It's very nice. But I never really like, I've made it before, but I've never made it from this recipe, which is my dad's recipe. And I was looking at the recipe and I was like, oh, I'm going to make it this way. And one of the steps was you add cognac and you light it on fire. I've never done that before. I've only, I haven't even seen that in person before.

You wouldn't even think of paying somebody to teach you out of your $20 million. I would just have them do it for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I, so I was like, okay, I'm going to do it this way. I asked my dad, hey, this is your recipe. I've never seen you do this. And he's like, I never did that. No, but come on.

But did you do it? this and he's like i never did that no but come on but did you do it so i i got a little measured out the cognac i got a fire extinguisher just in case things got out of hand i got matches yeah uh i poured the cognac on and the recipe said pour it on light a match, and then like shake the pan back and forth a while, and then it'll go out. The fire will go out. And I did it. I lit the match, shook the pan. Fire's not going out.

Keep shaking the pan. Fire's not going out. Oh, no. No cocoa van for anybody. And then I just blew on it. That was it. That put it out. But did it taste good?

I made no difference. Okay. Okay. But you know what? It did taste good. Yeah. I had leftovers for a week.

I feel like They just got better and better. Bobby Flay and company do that a lot during a cooking competition.

Throw like something on fire. Yeah, yeah. That, he loves ancho chilies. He loves those. That's his favorite

ingredient. He puts it in everything. Do you watch a lot of cooking shows? No, well, in different times when I've had the Food Network, yes. I watch non-stop. I just leave it on the background. Really? Yeah. It's so, like, it

doesn't take any brain power at all. That's how I feel about Law & Order. Yeah, Law & Order's great. Absolutely. Yeah. Like, the channel A&E when I was growing up, sometimes it would be Law and Order

all the live long day. I think, yeah, there's some, is it USA? Like when I'm at a hotel, you can watch 24 hours of Law and Order.

It's my dream. Literally my dream. What's your favorite era? Special Victims Union. Of course, sure. I'm like a die hard, like I know every episode.

What's-His-Face is leaving. Sam Watterson is leaving. All of them, yes. Yeah. It was really hard for me to Of course. Sure. I'm like a diehard. Like I know every episode. What's his face is leaving. Sam Watterson is leaving. All of them. Yes. Yeah. It was really hard for me to read that. Yeah. He's,

he's in a retirement age. Yeah, totally. It's crazy that he's still on. It said he's, he came back. Right. Right.

It said he's retiring after 400 episodes. And I was like, that seems low. That seemed low for how long? I would have thought. Oh, they only do 12, 24 episodes a season.

Yeah, but it's. What about Mariska? How many has she been on? At 20, it's either a 20, 21 or 20, I think 23.

She's been on. 23 seasons? She's been on every SVU. Yes. No, there's a few she isn't. Oh, really?

There's a season where she's, I think, had a child in real life and she was gone for like six or seven episodes. I remember the child. I'm like die hard. And they had the blonde girl. Yes. She was terrible.

She was terrible. So I'm like a die hard. And she's the blonde character who's like a recovering alcoholic? No, that's a different one. That's Amanda. She comes on later and she's off the show now. Okay. What happened to her?

I think she just probably left because she wanted to. Okay. Like it's. Old age. Old age. Yeah. Sure. Yeah. Yeah. wanted to. Okay. Like, it's... Old age. Old age, yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah. Old age. She's in her 40s.

Old age. That's it. The show's been on so long, I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you ever watch regular Law & Order with Jerry Urbach? Only recently. Oh, yeah? I got oversaturated.

So, was Sam Watterson on all of them? Sam's not in Special Victims a lot. He comes in for a few of the earlier episodes. Okay. But he's so iconic that you just know him. Well, the show is so, like, the things that they change from series to series are, if you're not paying attention, then you're like, well, what's the difference between this show and this? There's nothing.

Yeah. So especially when there's crossover with Sam Waters the only thing that was different was Jerry O'Rourke would make jokes that was his kind

of joke well Ice-T makes jokes in Special Victims he does but he doesn't have the right rhythm I feel like Munch used to make jokes

too Munch yes Munch passed away recently in real life yeah it was hard did Munch die on the show

before he passed away in real life he didn't die on the show before he passed away he didn't die in the show he retired he retired i'm not gonna die i love this did you know that he this is uh some famous trivia about him but he uh as the same character munch appeared on uh maybe okay the the wire yeah x files homicide x files so all of those universes are the same Maybe. Okay. The Wire. Yeah. X-Files. Homicide. X-Files. So all of those universes are the same universe. So if you, casting wise, if you look at Oz, in the early episodes of Law & Order, but mainly Special Victims Unit, there's a huge crossover. Oh, yeah. And like, if you, Law & Order early seasons had B.D. Wong play the scientist and he was also in Oz.

It's very bizarre to see that. He was like a priest in Oz. There was a detective on Law and Order a different series, I can't remember which one, in Criminal Intent. She was the nurse in Oz. Oh yeah! Chris Maloney, he was an Oz guy. Have you heard?

And then the guy who called Liz Lemon dummy, whatever his name is. Oh yeah, Dennis Dugan. Oh yeah, whatever his name is. Oh, yeah. Dennis Dugan. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's so good. Yeah.

He's great. So, did you know that there's Law and Order Toronto? Of course. My friend's in it. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah. My friend's.

She's the lead detective. No. Yeah. Wow. And she's been in Law and Order Special Victims Unit. What's your friend's name? Kathleen Monroe. Okay.

Kathleen Monroe. So, we're not very close, but I love her dearly. She's friends of friends, and I've just spent some time with her. But I always message her when I see her on Law & Order Special Victims Unit, being like, you're living my life. You're living my life. And then so she got cast as that, and I was like, of course. This is amazing. That's amazing.

She also was in the Chris Maloney That Show I Hate. The criminal attempt. She also was in criminal, the, the Chris Maloney, that show. I hate the criminal. Oh, no. Oh, the new, the whatever,

like mafia unit. Yeah. Yeah. Sucks. Do you like, and I, I don't expect you to have one, but do you have a favorite episode?

Do I? Yes. I have, I have like storylines. Sure. Because over the years, they have like certain seasons where there's like a longer storyline of like a criminal. Right. And there's this one with two models and like older and it's like a younger girl and her mother and they're like basically playing everyone.

And she like finds out that someone else, it hard to explain but i can't remember the famous model's name i just know it's in the mid-season like season five a blonde woman with thick lips and her mother is played by a brunette let's look it up and there's oh and marcia gay harding plays a recurring character yes and star yeah that i love when she stars on. Yeah. Cause there's always to do with like, people hate Jews. Oh, okay. And as a Jew, I like feel like very into it.

Yeah. Yeah. This is, uh, this is, I'm trying to remember who, um, it's not the episode fashionable crimes from 2016.

No, it's before that. Okay. Is it, uh, what's her name? There's on Rosalina Isles. Uh, it's before that. Okay. Is it, uh, what's her name? There's on Rosalina Isles. Uh,

no, I'm just saying she's another law and order person. She was, uh, Oh yeah. Angela Harmon, Angela Harmon. She was a lawyer.

Oh yes. But she was on, she was on, she was a regular law and order. Oh yeah. I guess she was not special. See, I have a,

like I had been waiting my whole like comedy career, my, to write a joke about law and order. And I guess she was. Not special. See? Not special victims unit. I have a, like, I had been waiting my whole, like, comedy career to write a joke about Law and Order. And I finally did it this year. And I was like so proud. Did you give us a preview? You don't have to do the joke. The idea is just I came across an episode that I actually had never seen. And it was very different. Oh, really?

And the difference was that the predator attacked plus-sized women. Jesus. And in 21 years, I had never seen that oh yeah okay usually it's like some a child or a thin woman yeah and i was like damn they really i'm really included now i feel representation yeah um i'm stumped uh google is letting me down it only wants me to look at fashionable crimes. What about Jason Alexander with the long hair? Was that him? No, that was more modern.

Was that S.V.E. though? No, that's Criminal Minds. Oh, Criminal Intent. No, Criminal Minds. The movie Criminal Minds? No, the Gowan song. What about the one with Carol Burnett? which one is is she actually in one she was in a uh a lot in order yeah carol burnett i'm maybe not a yeah yeah i don't know if it was a special victims unit i don't know but i when you were talking it was

an svu guest appearance 2009 she won an emmy okay but what was the synopsis i need to know the synopsis okay it's called the episode's called Ballerina. Okay. Detectives suspect that a murder suspect was thrown out of a window. And she plays a mother to some guy and she's covering for the boy or something? I'm sorry, I have an ad for a GMCCRI. If that's what it is, I'll be amazed. Detectives suspect that a murder suspect was thrown out of a window to his death

and their investigation focuses on the suspect's wife her nephew who lives with them and their unusual special relationship is it Natalie's called this

sure yeah sure fuck you it's really hard for me to read you don't have to read anymore you don't have to read anymore

was it this guy was it this guy yeah well I remember Carol Burnett on it I got it she's got she's in handcuffs here anymore you don't have to read anymore this guy was this guy yeah well i remember carol brunette on it i got it she's got she's in handcuffs here by the way i've seen carol brunette live and that was amazing yeah yeah just for last brought her into like did a toronto thing with her and i was like an usher for some reason just for last asked a bunch of comedians to be ushers i don't know

is that true yes jesus christ and what the hell man yeah they're like it's carol burnett and i fell for it sure but it was really like she was phenomenal what does she do on the show it's like a q a but and she just tells these incredible stories and she's just so smart and just for last was be like hey Hey, you got time to leave. You got time to clean. You're not supposed to be watching Carol Burnett Usher. Exactly. Uh, Graham. So yes,

uh, to, to, to yes, law and order because I made lit some cognac on fire. Go back. That's why we talked about law and order. Um,

what's going on with you? Um, in my capacity of being an employee, not employee, but a contractor to the CBC, I was asked to do some man on the street, streeter interviews. Yeah. But you know what? Paid money. And so I said yes.

Was it for 22 minutes? No, for the debaters. Oh, okay. Interesting. Social media account. Whoa. Here's the thing. I've done these things before. I did it for 22 minutes

and there's it's what you're projecting kind of equals how easy it is to approach people. So just me on the street with a camera guy, nothing. Some people would stop, but only the weirdest people would stop. People that just wanted to stand there and talk to you for 10 to 15 minutes.

What's wrong with that? Wait, did i see you on the street yeah um but this time i thought ahead and i was like i'll get i'll ask for a cbc jacket give me a cbc jacket then everybody will know i'm from the cbc and, it worked so well. It was insane. There was literally like three people went by and people who looked like they were busy anyway. So I didn't approach them. I didn't approach any moms with kids because they've got too much shit going on.

But then when I did approach, she came over. She loved it. So yeah. And what kind of questions did you ask? These were questions related to debate. So it was like, what do you think is better taking a gondola or hiking up a mountain? Neither.

Neither. Sure. Well, let me, I'll ask you all the questions. Uh, is it okay to dress up your pet? Yes.

Do you have a pet? No. So you're saying as an outside observer. Yeah. Do whatever they want. If you own it. That's true. That's it.

Yep. Am I answering these correctly? Uh's true. That's it. Yep. So am I answering these correctly? Yes. Well, it's up to you. Is it okay to talk to strangers? Of course. Well, it better be. I do it all the time.

What else is there? So I used to like, I've worked in broadcasting. I remember I interned at a news station and I just remember man on the street, like streeters going up to people with a microphone was the bottom of the barrel. This is like when you're all out of ideas for how you're going to tackle this story. Well, we'll just send a guy out with a camera and a microphone. And now when I see TikTok, like this is a thing on TikTok of, yeah, hey, what's your body count? I've never seen that one. Or just like people like this is my TikTok channel.

I talk to random strangers. It is I cringe at the idea of it. It makes my skin crawl. Do you, now you're on Instagram. Do you do any woman on the street material? I was going to do, I was in New York and Mark Little was there. And I tried to convince him to do a parody of one with me. Where you're being interviewed or you're interviewing him?

Where the two of us are being interviewed by a third person. Okay. Because they have the really big, in New York, like on tiktok you see people in new york like clips of that where they like ask someone what's your favorite jacket oh yeah like like how much you pay for rent yes or meet or like how did you meet yes right so i tried to convince like him to do a parody of one where we're the couple i love that and that he's been um like uh held hostage because of me. And he's just like dead in the face.

And we just didn't have time, but he's like been doing a bunch of stuff like that. Yeah. And his are so funny. He's so fun. He's so funny. And it's, that's the crazy part is there's so many serious ones and I just don't

understand. Yeah. What, like who, uh, I can't watch them. Uh, I watch them. I, I i i can't but like the uh the fact that someone doing this thinking that this is like worth doing i hate it well that's i think what is like so the fashion ones are so egregious to me because it's just like this thin

woman and she's like dressed very fashionable but very like regular and she's just like i was like who made you the authority like i become joan rivers all of a sudden yeah yeah she's asking people about their outfits she's asking them about their outfits like how much did their outfit cost like what is the like one of the big ones is like what's the trend that people do right now that you hate the most and i like desperately want to parody that because it's so crazy to me. That's, that sounds exactly like what,

if Joan Rivers were coming up today, she'd be huge on TikTok. She used to do that on the red carpet. She used to make fun of people. Yeah. But they're not making fun of people.

These are genuine. These are genuine? These are genuine conversations. What the hell? Yeah. I don't have time for that. Do they have that tiny microphone? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. I hate it. We have one. I'm going to get one. I'll have yours. What would you ask if you're a lady on the street? What are you doing? I can only do, like I could only make parodies of one.

I can't, I couldn't even. You couldn't go do it. No. Ours, we got at Claire's Accessories. How is it? Does it work well? Works fine. Is it pink? You know what? No, it's silver. It's shiny. We got it. Claire's accessories. So, uh, how is it? Does it work? Well, it works fine. You know what?

No, it's a silver. It's shiny. Okay. It actually works quite well. Yeah. We shove it in the dog's mouth. Dog has a lot of opinions.

No. The other thing I, when you're talking about bottom of the barrel news station stuff, something that I see anytime you watch local news and they're talking about somebody who got scammed or whatever. There's always footage of them just making dinner.

That seems to be the go-to. Make some dinner and we'll just fill you to it. The word like as always I remind people I watch the local news because I like seeing stories about cars driving into buildings. Is that a thing? Once a week, there's a car driving into a building.

Once, you know, once every six months, there's a small plane landing on the highway. I love that. But I hate when they'll just like, there was a guy putting flowers at like a vigil where a guy was murdered. You sound like a monster. Me? I hate watching him put flowers for the dead. No, it's not that. It's that they then were like, all right, tell us about this guy.

Like, he's just the guy who showed up to pay his respects. He didn't expect to be... Billy Eichner in the graveyard. Yeah, exactly. Honestly, that just sounds like a great episode for Law & Order, where you find out that the guy putting down the flowers is the murderer.

That's true. But you kind of knew it the whole time because it was Kevin Pollack, and you're like, he's too famous to be, to just be in this one scene. But yeah, I don't watch TikTok a lot. So I don't know what, these things I only know tangentially that this is a thing. I only know it through Instagram.

Okay. What's crazy is I feel like I've been forced to like, I had a meeting with a manager like a year and a half ago and he was like. Canada's one manager. I was in the States. Oh, they drove me. I had to go to Rode like a year and a half ago. And he was like. Canada's one manager. I was in the States. Oh, they drove me. I had to go to Rodeo Drive. Oh, whoa.

It was. I cried afterwards. How come? Because they were like, unless your social media is up, we can't do anything for you. So I was like, I guess I got to join the TikTok. Right. Okay. And for me, it's like I have ADD, but it goes too fast.

Almost. Yeah. But my roommate, who's a comedian, is seven years younger than me and loves it. Right. He can watch it all day. So I know things because he'll send me things. Right.

Yeah, yeah. I have a friend that sends me a lot of things, a lot of content. But when I go on TikTok, I feel like I check out a friend's TikTok and then TikTok thinks I want to always see that friend. Oh, yeah. And I'm just like, no, and then TikTok thinks I want to always see that friend. Oh, yeah. And I'm just like, no, I did one.

Just wanted to see the one. My friend sent me Jordan Peterson clip as a joke. And now? And now I get them constantly. And I'm concerned for my mental health because I'm like, this makes sense. As I've said on the podcast several times, I one time looked at a woman, a white woman with dreads. And Instagram ever since has been like, huh? You liked it i one time looked at a woman a white woman with dreads and instagram ever since has been like huh yeah like that one time that's your thing now yeah that's my thing and uh you

know what they're out there they're living uh in vans and uh near waterfalls and uh so when you did this man on the street thing was it just shot on a phone no this was shot with a real wow that was that was part of the... It's adding an extra step to getting it on social media. Yeah, it looked like official. I just had a good sense of not approaching anybody that I

thought was like busy. I had a sense of like, well, this guy seems to be looking at his phone and just standing there. I'll go talk to him. And he was like, yep, I'll come and talk to you for two or three minutes when's this content coming out uh i don't know but if you like cbc it'll show up in your feed and uh yeah if someone sends you a reel from cbc y'all yeah oh you know what if anybody's got a lead on some like i would watch cooking segments of local news stories if that was its own feed on oh sure probably is do you think there's comedy club 54 on tiktok you're just

obsessed i'm obsessed with comedy i haven't seen that channel in years but imagine if it was on tiktok you know what you said that now all of a sudden it's going to appear on there that's what i want i'm trying to put it out there into the universe because I want to Are you yourself on TikTok? Yes. Are you posting things? No, I post the only real post I put up was a pair of underwear and a stream. Nature's healing.

That's good. Yeah, that's pretty good. I put like nice music underneath it and I guess I could do lots of that stuff, but I'm not going to, I don't want to look at my own face. You know what I mean? Oh, you got to get used to that. I don't. I won't. I've cut so many of my own reels, and I'm like, you just get used to it.

There she is. That's it. I'm like, God damn that chin. She's got a great chin. It's fake. I could spot it a mile away it's truly filler it looks great thank you thank you good doctor

but like you just get used to it because you're told you have to if you want to like be in the industry because like you know just for laughs if you're not a regular there they're like how do you get back they're like social media you have to build your following and you're like

but then okay then you're just i don't know i like i can't look at my face that much i can't yeah it's very like as i saw people walking with the like apple glasses or whatever and doing things i was like i think this is where i get off the this is where i become an old curmudgeon this is where i'm like i'm not making the leap into walking down the street doing my taxes no one should be there yeah it's insane but that's all of a sudden there's going to be that's all the young people are going to have my kids want glasses to do their taxes they want tax classes. Yeah, dad, can we get the tax classes? Um, I was trying to,

oh yeah, they're sponsored by H&R Block. But like, will you, whenever it becomes like now you're just wearing glasses and everything's

happening in front of your eyes the whole time? I can't. I'm, first of all, blind as hell. Like,

I just need my regular glasses and they're not doing a good job anyways. I need bifocals and I refuse. So I can't imagine adding a layer of confusion to my life. Yeah,

but you, but you will, but we all will. I was like, but that's the thing. I'm not good at TikTok. Like I'm not on it. Like I'm supposed to be,

but I do. Oh, I feel the same way. I'm, I'm supposed to, I should be doing. Oh, and did you know Snapchat's back?

For kids, I think Snapchat never left. That's what somebody, a teacher told me, like, nope, kids are on Snapchat. That's how they've done it. So we just use the filters on it. Like if we show up five minutes early for school, we wait in the car and just like go through the filters. And there was this one filter that was, I'm going to play a song. filter that was, I'm going to play a song.

But there was this one filter that was like, see if you try not to laugh and it would like it would measure if you were laughing or not, but it would also like make your face go crazy. And it was apparently playing a song, but we couldn't get the song to play. And then I looked up how the

song was supposed to go and here is the song that's playing in the Snapchat try supposed to go. And here is the song that's playing in the Snapchat Try Not To Laugh filter. Just a second. And it goes a little something like this. Uh-oh. Stinky.

I genuinely love this. Stinky. And it does nothing else It's just this for a minute and a half The name of the song is Uh-Oh Stinky And the artist name? Shit Nuts Shit Nuts! He's back!

That's perfect Oh man, that's uh, wow So you can just do that, eh? I guess uh He's making millions, shit nuts. Yeah, exactly. I gotta just go lower. Well, the problem is, speaking of algorithms,

then we were like, well, let's just listen to shit nuts radio. Shit. Well, do you guys want to move on to some overheards? Uh-huh. Well, we were wrong. We lied to you and we're sorry and it is not time for overheards it's time for a little bit of business and this week the business is a jumbotron uh this is a personal message for beth from dennis graham take it away

beth this is dennis speaking to you through the voice of Graham. Through the voice of Graham. Is that good? Yeah, it's really good. I thought, I was like, how am I saying that without moving my lips? It's a little confusing, I know, but I just wanted you to know that I will always love you. I will speak to you in person soon. Well, that's nice. So this is, yeah, they're going to get together. I will always love you. I will speak to you in person soon. Well, that's nice.

So this is, yeah, they're going to get together. I will always love you. It is me, Graham. I love cookies also. I would also like to add rubble rubble. Well, if you would like a personal message to your loved one

or to anyone, head over to MaximumFun.org slash Jumbotron. Now do we want to do overheards? You know it. Have you ever wanted to know the sad lore behind Chuck E. Cheese's love of birthday parties? Or my Saturday mornings are reserved for cartoons? Or have you wanted to know how beloved virtual pet site Neopets fell into the hands of Scientologists? Or how a former Mattel

employee managed to grow Sega into a video game powerhouse? Join us, hosts Austin and Brenda, and learn all of these things and more at Secret Histories of Nerd Mysteries. Now on Maximum Fun. The following are real reenactments of pretend emergency calls.

911. My husband! It's my husband! Calm down, please. What about your husband? He loves the dishwasher wrong. Please help! Please help me! Where are you now, ma'am? At the kitchen table. I was with my dad. He mispronounced his words intentionally.

There are plenty of podcasts on the hunt for justice, but only one podcast has the courage to take on the silly crimes. Judge John Hodgman, the only true crime podcast that won't leave you feeling sad and bad and scared for once. Only on MaximumFun.org. on MaximumFun.org. Overheard. Overheard's a segment where you hear it, we want to hear it, we want you to share it.

And we always like to start with the guest. Natalie, do you have an overheard? I like to think this is considered an overheard. So in Toronto, I live on the third floor walk-up, and on and on my street very often i have a guy that lives across the street he might be 70 he might be 150 i have no idea very old very disheveled um often in the summertime um he will drive up in his old car and tell me if this is considered it he will get park in the disabled

disability spot sure handicap spot that's it thank you thank you Jesus and walk out

and play Freebird okay at two o'clock in the morning oh does this count as overheard

yes yeah yeah yeah absolutely and just blare it's the whole street can hear it all night whole song oh all of it really it's like you're he's just ripping it and he's just smoking and he's having the time of life and i often come out and start yell i'm the only yeah and like have you won this battle or is it yeah he apologized i'm like you don't turn it i i go

crazy it's two o'clock in the morning yeah maybe if it was you know uh-oh stinky by shit nuts i would have i would have been horny for that but free it's just psycho it's every every fucking summer wow yeah there's a we have these uh plazas in vancouver that got set up during the pandemic pandemic so people could gather and drink coffee or drink beer or whatever. And there's this one dude. He's retired from the post office. And he's just like, good times all the time. He's there with the folding deck chair. And he's got tunes on.

He's listening to Cinderella or Rats or something like that. And they smoke in. And this is his retirement. He's only going to live another six or seven years. I thought when I moved in, this guy was going to be dead in a year. He's, he's going on eight years. He'll be at your funeral. Honestly, that's what I asked for.

What kind of car is it? Oh, it's like, I'm not good with cars, but I can tell you it's something your grandfather would have had in like 1980. Oh, okay. Like big. Like big. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't think, and he has like a pass for the disability spot, for the handicap spot.

I don't think he needs it. Oh, really? Yeah, he's for sure free birding the system. He's free birding the system. I like that. This asshole. Anyways, that sticks out in my head. That's great.

Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. I feel anxious about it, but let's move on. Are you afraid he's going to hear this and be like, hey. He has definitely never been online. Oh, you should do a TikTok about him. Stop trying to give her content. We should that should be our content please you can come to my apartment i leave the door open go and

look at okay sure yeah yeah you and your uh your roommate could show me some what's going on tiktok wise yeah exactly yeah um dave okay so big news at my kid's school the other day. Uh-oh. We were, uh-oh, stinky. We were waiting for the bell to ring. We were out front and someone discovered a dead rat. Dead rat in the middle of the field. Big day.

It was all anyone was talking about. Yeah. Kids from the other side of the school were coming around to this school to spread the word of the dead rat. Somebody got a stick, right?

Rodded the dead rat. Certainly, the dead rat got poked. The weird kid in class is going to keep the dead rat. Oh, the weird kid is making out with this.

Yeah. Well, so some grade threes, I heard one of these two girls one of them said I dare you to kiss the rat and the girl goes eww

and this boy turns around and says who kissed the rat and that's how the rumors got started wow I wish the three

the other grade three had the whereabouts to be like I kissed the rat yeah it's me it's send your valentines my way it was my first kiss I wish the other grade three had the whereabouts to be like, I kissed the rat. Yeah. It's me. Send your valentines my way. It was my first kiss.

And I knocked its socks off. Yeah, I feel like if there was a dead squirrel, that was a big day. But there was one kid that just wouldn't let it go. You know, he'd be out there longer than any. Everybody had moved on. But that one kid. And what do you think that kid's doing now? I think he's

the president of the United States. Joe Biden. Joe Biden. I feel like he would poke a squirrel. Yeah. Okay.

He'd poke it. Prove me wrong, Joe. Prove me wrong. During this election cycle, if you want him to lose, just throw a rat near him. See what he does. Throw a stick with it.

He'll probably be like, hey, smarten up, you knucklehead. Too much malarkey. Yeah, exactly. My overheard. Yes? Courtesy of being in a pub in

Calgary, Alberta. The guy saying to his other friend, I guess this is his foolproof guide to quitting drugs. He said, whenever I wanted to do a line, I just drank a shot of Kahlua. Was that working? I mean, he's keeping Kahlua. He's super drunk

and reeks of coffee. Of all the things to do shots of. Yeah. Well, that's the point. It's awful. It's awful. Maybe that's it. It's a deterrentrent I don't know but then when you're doing something awful your head's like

hey you know what you like okay turn this thing around is it awful I've never had it on its own it would be like but it's fun in like you know

white Russian or whatever but would it be like it would just be like drinking like a melted chocolate bar or something like that. I, so I just bought, I haven't eaten them yet, but I bought a pack of M&M's because there's M&M peanut, M&M pretzel, M&M almonds.

I saw M&M and the interior of them is always the thing and not just a flavor, but I saw M&M caramel cold brew. Oh no. So I bought them and I was wondering if i bite them is it full of coffee that's gonna drip out it it must be but it's not just a cocoa or coffee bean or whatever or is it like it's my probably more carol caramel like yeah huh it's gonna be bad well you're gonna i don't like this. Yeah. Where did you get these? At the store. Oh, okay. Not from some guy.

You ordered them from Japan. Yeah, I got them at the, I think, Snackland, the store that sells American candy. Yeah. Where's Snackland? Over on Main? Main and 14th? Yeah. Perfect.

I know what I'm doing tonight. What's your American candy? Like, when you go down there, you're like, oh, finally I can have. Honestly, my candy choices are so weird. And I don't even think, I have my, I like, okay, chocolate covered Jujubes. Love them. Love, not very popular. I'll eat Jujubes no matter their situation. I only want them covered in chocolate.

Really? Yeah. A regular Jujube, no thanks. Disgusting. Okay. Jub, jube, jujube.

Jub, ju, j-u, j-u-b-e-s. Jub, jujube. Jujube is how I've always said it.

I wouldn't know. I'm not. You only like the chocolate. I only like the chocolate ones and then hot lips. Oh, hot lips. All right,

you're a cinnamon girl yeah so like I'm a cinnamon girl we're cinnamon girls of course we're gonna eat hot lips we're cinnamon girls of course we're gonna

try some Neil Young wrote this song about me yeah a guitar solo one note yeah true

I should know that yeah the the American one that i like is dots what's dots they're kind of like jujubes a little bit just like a chewy maybe like between a mike and ike and a juju does it come on like a piece of paper no those are what are those called those might have been called dots as well i know what you you're talking about. Yeah. Like tabs of acid? They would come on a big piece of paper. It's DMT actually. And it would be like

four across kind of thing and you just pop them off the paper. Those were just like almost decorations, right? Yeah, they were like what do you call them? Dragees? Dragees?

The ones for cakes? No, I don't know what these are. Really? No. I can't picture a thing that comes on a strip of paper. Like it was like a thick piece. Like a fruit by the foot? No. I can't picture a thing that comes on a strip of paper. Like it was like a thick paper. Like a fruit by the foot?

No. No, the paper wasn't edible. It was just the stuff on the paper. The fruit comes on a paper that's not edible. No, but like it's really just a dot. Yeah, it is. And then rainbow. Yeah, the rainbow colors and their different sides.

Are you thinking about like dots, but your things are like they come in a container? They come in a box. Like kind of like. A plastic box. No of like a plastic box. No, just a cardboard box. Oh, I think we're talking about different things. Maybe I'm thinking of ice cream. Oh, these things?

Yes. Wow. I've never seen them before. They look like. I love them. I would, just looking at these, I would think that they're like decorations. Like, yeah, like sticky jewels. That's basically what they were just like little cakes

yeah hmm candy buttons oh that makes sense candy buttons yeah that's uh my account's name is candy buttons can you buy them now yeah can you buy them now do they still exist yes um yeah just fax me someone you know uh, plenty of candy buttons stuff online. Just Google candy buttons. And you'll find it. Now, we also have overheard sent into it, sent into us by people all over the map. If you want to send one in, send it in to sby at maximumfun.org. This first one comes from Claire in Kilkenny, Ireland.

Arr. In a cafe. Arr. In a cafe. Arr. What? What? When I do that, it's very respectful. Yeah, you only roast the ones you love, right? Yeah.

I was just taking it back. Okay, fine. In a cafe, a boy about nine having lunch with his mother and grandmother. Oh, my dear. My dear. You're on the thin ice, you go. Oh, mother. Girl, the thin ice should go. Mother, not on my watch. Are you buying a knife?

Boy, why? She said, what are you going to do with a knife? And the boy said, it's for my collection. It's not going to do anything with it. I just want to be a put-behind-glass and enjoy it. Do you have a... What? Do you ever have like

a Swiss Army knife or whatever for your youth? Yeah. I thought it was cool and then never took it with me anywhere. I think back in the day

you could. I feel like you could get on a plane with a motor. No, not even a plane but just like, oh, this would be cool to have around town.

Never. Never left my bedroom. I carried one when I was in like... Did you ever use uh, yeah, I cut a lot of faces. Uh, yeah. Yeah. I collected a lot of debts. What was the coolest, uh, it was a Swiss army.

Yeah. What was the coolest feature it had? Yeah. Oh, they would only had a couple that had, uh, the knife. The best one was the little, uh, magnifying glass that you can start a fire with. That was the knife. The best one was the little magnifying glass that you could start a fire with. That was the coolest one. I had one that had a laser, not a laser pointer, but just like it lit up. Really? Yeah.

Was it supposed to be like a flashlight? Yeah, I don't know. Like a teeny tiny flashlight. And it also had a toothpick you could pull out at the end. We're all using toothpicks constantly. Because I was having so much stringy beef for lunch. If you're out there and you're listening and you're like, who am I as a character?

Try a toothpick. Toothpick guy. Just like always in your mouth at all times? Yeah. Just always hanging out there. Why isn't there toothpick women? Well, I'm just about to say. Okay.

Exactly. If you're a woman out there and you want maybe a new twist on things? Yeah. Toothpick. Feminism. Yeah, exactly. That's how, you know, feminism has worked out. Everybody got a toothpick.

You start seeing toughs out on the street and they're women. This next one comes from Nicholas D. from Montreal. It's all fair play, baby. This is we, me, one of my daughters, and one of my girlfriend's daughters. We're on vacation in Portugal. We went to the Lisbon Botanical Garden while

a French family, mom, dad, two sons, aged 10 to 7 or so, walked by us. I overheard the sons have this exchange. Small brother, if you could pick a superpower, what would it be? Big brother, teleportation and Yeah, that's perfect. And then, speaking of French, Nicholas said for Dave, because I love hearing him speak French, he has the French version, if you don't mind.

Oh, okay. If you could choose a superpower, what would it be? He has the French version, if you don't mind. Oh, okay. Si tu pouvais choisir un super pouvoir, ce serait quoi? De l'ébondation et de faire taire. That's perfect. That's as good as anything on Netflix. Because faire taire is more like calm down, to calm you down. Taisez-vous is what my French teachers used to always say what's tasevou calm down shut up yeah do you speak any french i was in french immersion until grade 12 when i did it this is

such a weird story i didn't do my homework the second day of class and i said got to go to the bathroom. It never came back. You're like the deadbeat dad of schools. 13 years of French immersion. That's so funny. It's true. I don't know why I did that. It's awesome. That's why.

Did you take a different class? I'm worried that you didn't graduate. I did graduate, but not French immersion oof because it was it was literally the last credit I need too yeah that's weird yeah

like in French immersion you did it from like to kindergarten yeah so like from kindergarten to grade three it was all French everything for me it was

till grade six all French everything oh okay we had half English starting in grade four and then by grade 11, it was just like, credits,

just French. Yeah. Did you guys talk about law and order in French to one another? I think everybody watched. My French is not very good.

As you can tell, I ran out of class. Well, you must know some. I just don't remember the character names. Marushka. She's the actor.

Olivia Benson. I said yes. Yeah. Olivia Benson. Yes. Yeah. Olivia Benson. Stabler. Come on. Yeah. Agrafel.

That's Stabler. Anyway. Yeah. And the, uh, uh, that's stapler. Anyway. Uh, well, the school was worth it. Yes. Uh, this last one comes from a Daniel in Davis,

California. I work at a college and I just passed two students talking at one said, while struggling to contain his laughter, bro, imagine you're on the bus and someone walks up and just fucking drops a squirrel in your lap. And the second one said, I think that would be the best day of my life. Live or dead?

I didn't say, I didn't say. Yeah, live squirrel on my lap? Fun. Yeah. I'll take a dead one. We know who the person was that was keeping the squirrel lugging that mouse. Well, in addition to overheards that are written in, we also accept your phone calls. And if you want to call us, our phone number is 1-844-779-7631.

That's one. Ugh. Spy pod one like these people have. Hey, Dave and Graham and lovely guest. This is Julie from Woodbridge, Virginia. Last night I was helping out at a Get to Know You activity for

kids and everyone was paired up and had a list of questions to ask each other. So I was looking at the list and I saw the question what is your favorite toy? So I knew she was going to ask me that question and I was trying to ask me that question.

And I was trying to think of something suitable to say to a 10 year old. But when the question came up, she said, what's your favorite toy? Well, what's your favorite adult toy? Cause you know, grownups don't play with kids toys and I nearly lost it.

My, my Sibian. Don't make me choose, man. Yeah, for me it's probably, boy, crossbow. Yeah. Your favorite adult toy, Natalie? Too many to choose from. Don't make me pick.

You know what? For me it's got to be my collection of Funko Pops. Oh, yeah. Who's your favorite? Sheldon. What are Funko Pops? Like little plastic. Wow.

They're for nerds. Okay. They do. They're like, no, no, they're for very handsome listeners. They have like a rectangle kind of head and dots for eyes

and it'll be like everything from like justin timberlake to spider-man of course yeah yeah of course there are toys to not play with they're figurines i watched a documentary about the company that i was i was like what i would watch a real documentary man don't spend time learning about the history of funko pop no you someone needs to know yeah well i know they I know. They started out as Bobblehead Company and then moved on to Funko Pop. But then they ran out of springs and so they had to make the heads more stable.

Alright, next phone call. Hi, Dave, Graham, and guest. It's Kate calling from Vancouver. I was just walking up Commercial Drive and overheard a dude, I'm guessing

somewhere 30s, 40s, with one of those electric push scooters talking to another guy and he says, yeah, so now I only drink during the day because I got kids and shit. So yeah, at least he's being responsible.

Anyway, no friggin way yeah my kids come home at five I'm done drinking at four yeah yeah yeah I mean that sounds

like a perfect father to me yeah I hope he's single yeah and he's active in his kids lives yeah he's driving an electric scooter

so he's you gotta pick up the kids from school lost my license I almost got hit by a skateboarder today it was the worst I think he was doing it on a person You got to pick up the kids from school. Lost my license. I almost got hit by a skateboarder today. It was the worst. I think he was doing it on purpose.

He whizzed by me and like, I could feel it. Yeah. What was he trying to do there? Sorry, I just pictured him like me going on a date and a guy coming to pick me up on an electric scooter and then contemplated, would I go out with him? Would you? Get on my shoulders. Promise we're not going under any bridges. We'll be fine. Why not?

I've never ridden on one. Maybe it's fun to, you know, double up. I don't know. They've got to be fun, right? Although everyone who rides them seems to be miserable in delivering food. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're not happy.

Yeah. And they seem dangerous. Oh, we think they're delivering food. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they're not happy. Yeah. And they seem dangerous. Oh, we think they're very dangerous. Yeah. The fact that they like, do they have them in Toronto? The like rent ones?

Not, no. They have them in Calgary and they're just everywhere. I tried to, I played on one in Calgary and I just spent the whole time screaming. So it's not,

this is not good. Terrifying, terrifying. Have you ever been on a Terrifying. Have you ever been on a Segway? You ever go on one of those? No. I've been on a

hoverboard. Oh yeah? Yeah. How was that? Neat. Yeah? Yeah. I fell down.

The guys that do the one wheelers, that's like, yeah, that's like unicycle. Oh, the ones that are

like from back to the future? Yeah. Yeah. Like lean forward. Yeah. I've been on a motorcycle. That's cool. All's like. Oh, like unicycle. Oh, the ones that are like from Back to the Future? Yeah. Yeah. That you like lean forward? Yeah. I've been on a motorcycle. That's cool.

All around Vietnam. Really? On the back of, I was holding on to some man. I don't know who he was, but yeah. Did he know you were there? Yeah, yeah. I paid him. Did you have an arrangement?

Yeah. That's cool. Yeah. It was insane. That's badass. And terrifying. Helmet or no helmet? Of course helmet.

Good. And I, everyone, every time we stopped in some Vietnamese city, someone would ask me if I was Buddha. That's nice. Sick trip. Sick trip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thanks, guys. A lot of tact.

Yeah, a lot of decorum. And your final phone call. Hey, it's Graham, the Steam guest. This is Nathan calling out of Chicago. Sitting here at a restaurant. My first, like, mixed family. And I see a group of maybe 14-year-old girls walking out. Looks like they're going to prom, but it's January.

But all I hear is one goes, My dad has 20-20 vision. What about yours? All right. Off I go. Good conversation, too. I actually don't know my dad's prescription. No, I don't either.

I love it. I didn't know people were still comparing their dads. Yeah. Yeah. My dad can fight your dad. Boy, who has 20-20 vision? He's drunk right now. You have to have 20-20 vision to be a fighter pilot. Yeah. Yeah. My dad could fight your dad. Boy, who has 20- He's drunk right now. You have to have 20-20 vision to be a fighter pilot.

Yeah. Oh, I blew it. I had 20-20 for so long. So you're assuming this girl's dad is a fighter pilot. Well, he's eligible. Okay. He's not disqualified on the basis of- What basis am I disqualified on military service?

Oh, yeah. Age for sure. Weakness, absolutely. Undisciplined. Pacifism. Pacifism, yeah. Just woman. No!

No, they shouldn't let me in. Why not? Because I would start fighting for the opponents by accident. Oh man, she switched teams immediately. Women always do that. They'll always take your opponent's side. Hey, I would end up on the opposite side and be like, hey, these guys are hot. Yeah, I'm over on this side now, you guys.

Oh. I left my uniform over there. I got a new uniform and everything. Who of the three of us do you think would look best in camouflage? Oh boy. Definitely me. Sorry. Yeah?

Yeah. Sorry. Okay. Okay. I'm just going to, I'm taking that one. Okay. Yeah, you and I in camouflage

gives kind of a militia incel vibe. Yeah. I'm going to say immediately like someone sitting in their bunker all day planning for the end

of the world. Oh, that's the place. There's got Wi-Fi down in my bunker. Only if it were possible. Anyways, dream the dream. If you're out there listening from a bunker, come out and say hi.

By the way, if this podcast has survived the end of the world and you're listening from a bunker post-apocalypse, say hi to them zombies for me, baby. Don't be a stranger. Yeah. I, before this, sorry,

I want to plug a show that I'm doing in Toronto, but I just have to find the email that says where it is. Well, we'll just play our waiting music. Uh-oh. Stinky. Uh-oh. Well, we'll just play our waiting music. Have you found it yet? No, play one more round, please. What about now? No, I don't have it. One more time. It does throw on you. The first time I was was like i don't know if this is good but the more i hear no let me just read the bio shit nuts is a musician and producer from

central new york starting on soundcloud in 2019 shit nuts specialized in meme remixes oh yeah uh and lo-fi electronic beats to study to. To study to. He's a SoundCloud artist. He's like a real deal. Yeah. Oh, wow. Are they all about farts or is he just like,

that was just his like. No, that was a different artist. Oh, sorry. That was Mr. Farts. Mr. Farts. I will be playing March 23rd at the Adelaide Hall

in Toronto. March 23rd. Marketing your calendars Hall in Toronto. March 23rd. Marketing your calendars. I'll be there, Toronto. Me and DJ Shitstain or whatever it was. And Natalie, thank you so much for being our guest. Thank you for having me. And people can find you on Stalking Natalie.

Stalking Natalie, not like stocks, like money stocks, like someone lurking around the corner trying to follow me stalking. Yes. Lurking and jerking. And you... That's the dream. Well, thank you, and thank you, everybody out there for listening. If you've got some time to kill, why not throw in a fart remix

and come on back next week for another episode of Stop Podcasting Yourself. Maximum Fun. A worker-owned network of artist-owned shows supported directly by you.